#a lot of good shit last night
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DM went through our character sheets and gave us new feats.
Enil now has war caster and telepathy.
She can now carry a shield without it hindering her spell casting and her ac jumped up 4 points.
God bless the DM.
#also the mepha azat thing last night had me on my end of the computer just mouthing wtf over and over and covering my mouth#like okay dm what are you up to holy fuck tf is this shit what no stop hold on wait#i was happy wiggling on my bed#a lot of good shit last night#campaign: the coming of the dark#also also the telepathy feat has raised her passive perception by three points and her wis save by i think two#id say im unstoppable with wisdom saves but i will roll nat 1s with my luck...
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(ID in alt) I literally said I was gonna post this month's ago and then never had the wherewithal to describe it and so I didn't Lmao (said with pain). But since I'm thinking of opening my commissions I figured I should remind ppl that I. Yknow. Can draw.
Lots of Steph here (I had major art block making all of these and my brain worms for her kept me going) + some sprinkles of stephcass for Cass nation to enjoy!
#dc comics#dc#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#jason todd#(yes for the teddy bear. it counts)#batgirl#batgirls#mine#< keep forgetting to tag my art as that I'm terrible 😭#ANYHOW I'm slowly getting back into drawing again after my last ipad got nuked (cant think abt that or ill cry) and i finished uni#oh yeah j finished my first year of uni btw. i went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert like a week or 2 ago. I've been busy lol#but yeah it's looking like I've got a fun summer of bottom feeding ahead of me now that I've officially been told i got passed over for that#-comic job i applied for. lol. lmao even#it's fine honestly it was a pretty daunting prospect i just have to find a way to fill the time by myself now#I've plenty of comics to read so that's nice. got wayyy into mark waids DD run recently (mostly for Chris Samnee's art)#so that's been fun! i have my empowered omnibus (embarrassing and kept under my bed <3) i have TT year 1 i have huntress and WW#uhhh i got flash 1 minute war. lots of good stuff!#so hopefully i don't go. completely feral from lack of stimulation#also hopefully commissions will be a thing i can do#godddd there's many mkre things i want to draw. i got too enamoured w my own bad theory and now I've drawn tim!bats#but unfortunately now i only want to draw tim!bats being laughed at my the batfamily bc seriously tim?? really??#< it's literally probably not going to happen but I've invested myself in this terrible future for some reason#imagine damian trying to robin for tim!bats for 1 (one) night and the next morning he doesn't say anything he just moves to bludhaven#he can't take this shit#oh so many ideas...#ANYWAY. ues. finally art. now if you like it. consider commissioning me (in 2 to 3 business weeks <3)#(no pressure)
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They're all on a family plan
template credit (also in picture)
#this is how I waste my time#Larry has a good time on the phone with phone companies#“you need a dozen cellphones?” “...I have a lot of kids” “you've had 17 devices sent in for repair in the last year” “...yeah that seems ri#“Sir did you know the usage of phones on your plan goes up 400% between 8pm and 6am???” “look can I please just get the extended warranty"#he makes full use of those warranties. and insurance. shit doesn't last long in that museum. blame the miniatures they have way to much fun#he got tired of everyone swiping his phone for mobile games#its hard to explain to people that you didn't get their text because the last time you saw your phone was at 2am when-#you handed it off to a 4000yo teenager to play HayDay on and frankly it could be anywhere and its not worth looking#natm#shitpost#Larry daley#night at the museum#natm jedediah#natm octavius#ahkmenrah#natm ahkmenrah#natm teddy roosevelt#natm sacagawea#natm lancelot#natm Attila#natm nicky#natm tilly#night at the museum 3#natm 3#jedtavius
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skyglow:
(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)
#photography#Ford's Art#color says shit#it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option.#b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated.#I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right?#anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good.#the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia.#and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood.#yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it.#anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao.#also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it.#I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it.#anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently.#between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good.#I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.
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god i feel fuckin ILL
still figuring out my feelings in regard to jade shadows but oh god my head is spinning, so cool yet so weird yet so many questions godddd idfk know anymore man
more spoiler ramblings below, please don't take any of it as concrete opinions cause i'm still kinda working it out in my groggy ass head
i do feel very weird about playing as jade after what happened to her the quest, i have a lot of respect for the story and it genuinely moved me but i also feel that the implications of building a copy of her and puppeting her around after all that feels...very jarring lol. i guess that's just the unavoidable nature of the game, but it really doesn't feel like it was addressed past hunhow saying "it's what she would have wanted", even though we barely got a hint of characterization from her other than being motherly i guess. idk i guess for a quest that is at least in half about her it felt like she herself didn't get as fleshed out as i would have liked, especially when people are kinda just saying things for her. weird feelings i guess
idk those feel like big accusations but i still overall feel like the story was really really cool and playing through the quest was cool, but it does feel like it pushes the boundaries of what can actually fit within warframe's framework without parts feeling downright disturbing in some of it's mismatched narratives. idk i'm gonna have to think about it more, legit feel dizzy lol
probably gonna just leave it at that though, i really don't wanna jump head first into discourse because i anticipate it being really toxic given the themes. i've already seen some of that discourse and like man some people are fast to get angry about things
#jade shadows spoilers#jade shadows#warframe spoilers#warframe#rambling#idfk i'm also really out of it after sleeping too much last night so this might just sound like nonsense#i still overall really enjoyed the quest and i applaud de for once again being so fucking bold with their narrative directions#just lots of thoughts while i process...everything lol#also holy shit they did a really good job keeping jade's true nature a secret in all the promotional material
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literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)
#first of all i didnt get a lot of sleep so im mad tired#second of all the place i usually get lunch on campus said they werent doing bagels at the moment and it ruined me#cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels#third of all i was already cranky so i got all in my feels last night#so i had a dream where my gf who isnt my gf and saw each other on one fo the campuses and she was w her friends#at one point we were both leaving and iw as watcing her and her and her friend knew i was there#so then her friend comes over and shes like '[gf name] loves you so much'#and i was about to cry tears of joy i was like REALLY???#and then her friend started laughing and gestured to my gf who isn't my gf's OTHER friend behind me and she was like 'jk lol she meant#this friend not you el oh el'#and then my gf and her friends were all laughing at me and i burst into tears#and then in full on sobs i was like 'i loved you so much how could you leave me'#and then my gf was just like 'well youre a bad person and you think youre sooooo myseterious and youre a terrible person and i never loved#you' and oh my god it ruined my morning#i know a lot of it was just psychological cuz i was already moody when i went to bed#and i have this werid paranoia where i think her and her friends talk shit about me#which i doubt they do but it still stresses me out#so thats probably why that hapepned#and then on top of all that. fourth of all im getting lunch and i literally see her outside. like i dont see her for days and of course#the day i least want to see her shes right there#i mean im generally doing better than september and i didnt feel the same sinking feeling#i used to in like sept but still like brooooo bro this day could not be worseee#the only good thing that happened was that i passed my physics exam <3#also yeah again i said these are minor inconveniences im just frustrated lol#sunny rambles
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{ It's time to say hello to the parentals for the Yumishi siblings! And yes, that's right, you count four parents. Two sets. Why? Because the Yumishi family is actually very convoluted compared to most normal families. }
{ First off we have Lucifer, who can be found over on @resxntmxnt once I get everything settled, as the biological father of both Myth (who is also over at @resxntmxnt) and Rain (who's over at @negligxnce). He is the ruler of Meikai no Ryōiki, also commonly referred to as the Realm of the Underworld, altering his original seraphic genetics with dark magic to turn himself into a being known solely as the Demon Lord, yet due to having originally been a seraph, he possesses the ability to shapeshift. Lucifer was the original lover of Kisuyo Yumishi, happening upon her by sheer chance within Seikatsu no Ryōiki, also known as the Realm of the Living (aka the human world), one day when she was being attacked by a group of humans that believed her to be the leader of a cultist group (due to the fact she is heavily religious while the mortals of Seikatsu no Ryōiki have no religion/do not believe in religion of any sort); and despite Lucifer's reputation of being a cruel and mischievous being, he went out of his way to rescue her by slaughtering the humans responsible for her injuries.
Once certain that she was safe, Lucifer began to tend to her wounds with his magic, trying to keep conversation to a minimum though this did not last long due to Kisuyo's curious nature, leading for Lucifer and Kisuyo to eventually develop a strong bond for one another — thus resulting in the birth of Myth and Rain. Yet despite this, Lucifer did not stick around for his lover nor his children and ended up returning to Meikai no Ryōiki, leaving Kisuyo with two children to care for all on her own due to the fact that Kisuyo would not be able to survive within Meikai no Ryōiki. He is devastated by the news of Kisuyo's death.
Secondly we have Michael, who can be found over at @anxmosxty once everything is settled over there, as the biological father of Koui and Yuuela (who is also over at @anxmosxty). He is the ruler of Serafu no Ryōiki, also commonly referred to as the Realm of the Seraph, proudly taking his duties as a seraph to heart, earning him the title of Head Angel by those within Serafu no Ryōiki and as a seraph, he possesses the ability to shapeshift. Michael is the second lover of Kisuyo Yumishi, though unlike Lucifer who was willing to care for her, Michael instead was disgusted with her and the fact she had two children with a man she wasn't married to, often pretending to seem kindhearted towards the woman only to judge her in secret. The only reason he would actively spend time with her every day was because of a rumor he'd overheard from the other seraphs about a woman who had given birth to a pair of twins that possessed unnatural abilities for human children, thus he took every chance he could to get close to her and her boys. Though during his time with Kisuyo, he soon discovers that despite all the reticule she receives from the mortals within Seikatsu no Ryōiki, she stills holds tightly to her faith in the Goddess, which in turn makes Michael begin to view Kisuyo in a different light.
Within time, Michael realizes he's fallen in love with Kisuyo, thus resulting in the births of Koui and Yuuela. Unlike Lucifer, Michael is consistent with his daily visits to spend time with his children and Kisuyo, even going out of his way to treat Myth and Rain as his own. Though, once word gets out that the woman from the rumors has had two more children with unnatural abilities and has her identity revealed, Michael stops visiting Kisuyo and her children out of fear of being casted out of Serafu no Ryōiki by the current Goddess, Heiliger, once she discovers that the children born are a forbidden species known as hybrids — constituted of a law that forbids other species from breeding with anyone other than their respective species — and have a contract placed on their heads to be exterminated as soon as possible alongside their mother. He is devastated by the news of Kisuyo's death.
Third we have Kisuyo Yumishi, who can be found here, as the biological mother of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela. She is a resident of the more olden timed area of Seikatsu no Ryōiki (because Seikatsu no Ryōiki is home to a more olden timed section and a more modern timed section of the realm for those who prefer the more technologically advanced lifestyle or those who prefer the more dated lifestyle), also known as the Realm of the Living, and is presumed to be a human woman by those within the world of Mir Ender. In reality, Kisuyo is actually the daughter of the Goddess, The Sacred One, thus making her a demi-god and serves as a vessel for the Goddess' will within the various realms of Mir Ender. Despite not seeming to possess any abilities, she can actually see the future and share her sight with The Sacred One, but doing so requires a lot of angelic energy and can overwhelm her senses thus why she wears a black cloth over her eyes, leading many to believe that she is blind. Kisuyo is the third oldest child of The Sacred One, being the younger sister of Oizys (the Archfiend of Melancholy), the older sister of Adios (the Saint of Humility), and the older sister of Sophrosyne (the Saint of Temperance), meanwhile Adephagia is the Archfiend of Gluttony. Each of said sisters possessing a mortal name for their travels among the other realms: Adios known as Oka, Sophrosyne known as Maleia, and Adephagia being known as Kisuyo. Oizys is the only one of the sister's to not possess a mortal name out of disinterest in hiding her true identity, thus her sisters simply call her by the name "El" within Seikatsu no Ryōiki among mortals.
Before having her children, Kisuyo was sent to live within Seikatsu no Ryōiki by The Sacred One in order glean how the mortals were fairing in their daily lives, making gathering intel much easier so The Sacred One can make the lives of her residents easier if need be by sending one of her daughters to assist the morals in their true forms (and not as "mortals"). During her time within Seikatsu no Ryōiki, Kisuyo plays the role of a devote worshiper to The Sacred One, serving as a shrine maiden at the Holy Chruch of Heiliger, additionally teaching her children about her religion and convincing them to believe as well. After being abandon by both of her lovers, Kisuyo is then hunted down by an assassin and is killed in front of her children while on their way to the Holy Church of Heiliger for their daily worship, though she does not actually die due to being a demi-god and instead is simply comatose for a time being (until Oizys is able to retrieve her body and awaken her), yet this is unbeknownst to her children who believe she was murdered.
Lastly we have Sire, who can be found over at @prurixncy once everything is settled there, as the biological "mother" of Nikusui (who is also over at @prurixncy) and Inori (who is over at @vxinglxry). You're probably wondering why I said "mother" and not mother. Well, that's because Sire isn't actually a woman in her true form, but is instead a man and said man is Lucifer. Yes, that's right. I said Lucifer. The man I talked about all the way at the top of the post. That Lucifer. Myth and Rain's dad, Lucifer. Demon Lord Lucifer. The one and the same. "Why the hell would Lucifer become a woman to have two children?" Because he blames Michael for the death of Kisuyo and wanted to get back at him for taking away the only woman he loved so dearly, just like Michael believes that Lucifer is the one who took Kisuyo away from him. The both of them believe that the other is responsible for the death of Kisuyo. Why? Because they are both sworn enemies and have always been at odds ever since the incident involving The Sacred One and The Twelve Saints of The Sacred One/The Twelve Heavenly Virtues due to the fact they were both present at the time. The incident that caused The Sacred One to fall into a catatonic state and the divide of The Twelve Heavenly Virtues, which in turn also created the false Goddess known as The Forsaken One and The Seven Archfiends of The Forsaken One. Lucifer and Michael don't trust one another and know that the other would be more than willing to do anything to take away the other's happiness if they could. And yes, they're both aware they fell in love with the same woman.
Basically, Lucifer decides that the best way to exact his revenge on Michael is to become a woman that he can trust and love and become so deeply intertwined with that he simply can't live without her. And that is exactly what happens. Lucifer becomes Sire and acts as a beacon of hope for Michael while he secretly (because he can't let anyone know he was involved with Kisuyo) mourns the lost of his lover and the inevitable loss of his children (since they're being hunted). Sire becomes Michael's crutch. And during a moment of weakness, Sire repeatedly takes advantage of Michael's desperation for his deceased lover, resulting in the births of Nikusui and Inori. Though much like he did with Myth and Rain, he takes Michael's new children away from him and leaves them with Warwick, someone that worships and follows Lucifer, to raise the girls in secret — leaving Michael alone once more to fester about the disappearances of his new children and lover. Only later in time does Michael discover that Sire was Lucifer in disguise. }
{ So if all of you have gotten past all of that, it's time to tell you the exact relations of everyone within the Yumishi family in case you're confused. So here were go!
Lucifer and Kisuyo are the biological parents of Myth and Rain.
Michael and Kisuyo are the biological parents of Koui and Yuuela.
Michael and Sire (aka Lucifer's female form) are the biological parents of Nikusui and Inori.
Kisuyo is the biological daughter of The Sacred One, the absolute Goddess of the world of Mir Ender.
Kisuyo is the younger sister of Oizys, the Archfiend of Melancholy.
Kisuyo is the older sister of Adios and Sophrosyne, the Saints of Humility and Temperance.
Oizys, Adios, and Sophrosyne are all the biological aunts of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela. They are the adoptive aunts of Nikusui and Inori due to the fact neither Lucifer/Sire or Michael are related to The Sacred One.
Myth and Rain are biological brothers (twins).
Koui and Yuuela are biological brother and sister.
Nikusui and Inori are biological sisters.
Myth is the biological half-brother of Koui and Yuuela.
Rain is the biological half-brother of Koui and Yuuela.
Koui is the biological half-brother of Myth and Rain.
Yuuela is the biological half-sister of Myth and Rain.
Nikusui is the biological half-sister of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela.
Inori is the biological half-sister of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela.
Warwick is the adoptive father of Nikusui and Inori.
Warwick is the adoptive uncle of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela.
The Sacred One is the grandmother of Myth, Rain, Koui, and Yuuela. She is the adoptive grandmother of Nikusui and Inori.
#.♡ ~ [ ' ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ ᴏғ ᴍɪʀ ᴇɴᴅᴇʀ; ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴇxɪsᴛs ᴛᴡᴇʟᴠᴇ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍs... ' ] - ✡ ᴄɪᴘʜᴇʀ: ʟᴏʀᴇ ✡#{ Whew- That was a lot of typing that I had to do last night and most of today. }#{ But I randomly had the idea to type all of this out last night so I just went for it. }#{ But here is the whole post about the parentals of the Yumishi kids! }#{ It's a very messed up family with a lot of twists and turns in there. }#{ At some point I'll probably make a post about The Sacred One and their aunts. }#{ But that will have to wait until I find them some proper face claims. }#{ So in the meantime... just enjoy this post. }#{ I wanted to type more in-depth stuff about them... but I didn't want the post to get TOO long and I didn't wanna get people all- }#{ confused about all the different relations and shit. Oh and I'll probably add Warwick to the post with The Sacred One and the aunts too.#{ But hopefully this is good enough for some people. }#{ Now if y'all will excuse me. Imma go back to replaying Resident Evil 4 Remake. }
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Anyways happy post-pride
#this was like second to last night#if your gay ass is ever i Baltimore hit up club car#they support a lot of local drag!!! good shit!!#my face
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life update: fred figglehorn videos have really good b&bh animatic potential. also I hc his mom’s voice as butt-head’s mom
#MOOM ITS TIME FOR ME TO GO TO SCHOOL#FRED. LAST NIGHT I DRANK A LOT OF BEER AND NOW I HAVE A BIG HANGOVER MY HEAD HURTS. JUST WALK TO SCHOOL#MOM I CANT WALK ITS NINE BLOCKS!#DONT BE LAAAZYYYYY#(screaming)#(later)#OH MY GOD I GOT DETENTIONNNNN#THE TEACHER SAID ITS GONNA GO ON MY PERMANENT RECORD AND IM NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO GET INTO ANY GOOD COLLEGES#AND I WANTED TO BE A PEDIATRICIAANNN😭😭😭😭😭😭#idk what came over me sorry#shit made me cry laughing as a kid#and now if im gonna be real with yall
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I'm already starting to regret that I joined yet another Discord server.
#personal#i'm trying to learn about game modding and while there are several channels dedicated to different areas of modding#the resources are scattered are all over the place#and there's so much discussion in between those resources/posts that it takes a long time to find anything#i searched one keyword because i couldn't find a pinned post about it and there were 47 pages of results for that keyword alone#yeah i'm not gonna go through all that#i'm surprised anyone who joined there recently can learn anything#unless they have a lot of time and patience or something#it literally took me hours last night because i didn't know shit xD and trying to navigate that place is like#trying to find a needle in the haystack. plus some of the creators there are so rude to anyone who's just as confused about stuff as i am#and some of the 'newbie' tutorials they put up there are literally not that great for beginners#unless they already have good basic information about how to use blender or ue4 or other stuff#it's a fucking chaos honestly#this is why i don't really use discord anymore#i get disoriented and overwhelmed when there's too much stuff at once and it's not even well-organized or well-explained#putting up an archive for resources and tutorials would be great. or at least locking up certain servers so they wouldn't be#clogged up with discussion would be great too#but i guess it's just me then
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lil hiatus away
#trump winning hit hard#harder than I thought because I didn’t think he’d win#we all met up the next day and had depression strolls#lots of vents and talks and anger#window shopped and actually shopped#looked at expensive guitars and little hamsters find fun in every place we go#we all made food with/for my niece and talked at my table for hours#played among us like old times till 1 am#got emotionally rejuvenated by the ocean#had plans with a friend that fell through so another time maybe or not idc anymore hahah she’s persistent though#I’m kinda over everything!#this 4:30 sunset always gets me bad for a while#on top of heavy world changes too like do that shit in summer#my dads friend Chris is visiting and that always makes me happy#I heard them cracking up watching South Park in his room last night was the cutest shit#reminded me of old times I miss living in Boston that whole era#wish we could have a redo#or even when he lived here with us after#maybe he'll move back this way someday#or go up that way since won’t ever be able to afford a house where I wanna live#or get out of the country all together#hiatus away was nice especially from Instagram and fb they're horrible places right now#unfollowing and unfriending everyone rn idc who u are#and honestly idky I still even have tumblr now I ask myself that a lot#more and more lately#have a good day#and take care of yourselves
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Not going the best (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#Cure#Vent#The start of it anyhow#Draw to take the mind off things - or to approach the hurt without touching it directly#Gift-giving season 2024 was just - bad lol#Birthday was sad and Christmas was sad just toss it plsthx#I mean there were good things! I got a couple plushies for Christmas which I like - I got a Bulbasaur ♥#But there were also a lot of bad things......hghh....#If I turn to Bar it's only fair Charm turns to [Coffee] for comfort#He really needs a name maybe this year will finally be the year I buckle down and make a naming convention#Bit of Cure as well - we're both chibi'd the heck out but ehhh approximate size maybe#She's probably a little big here actually but I dunno maybe she kept her proportions lol - maybe I'm just super chibi'd#Normally I wouldn't turn to her but I needed some cutes and she is definitely that#I watched an anime recently that kinda reminded me of her too hmmm - she won't get any signifiers from it I don't think but maybe new toys#She does enjoy things to play with lol (read: mess with other people with)#Napping without glasses is something that pops up a surprising amount for me huh - I mean yeah that's how I sleep but as an art subject hm#Graphite version of TVAU Charm from the silhouette/ink set! With a better grasp on the expression I was going for#I don't think I Quite got it - it's harder with simple dot eyes to imply directionality#Tiny aside into a brief bit of levity - before things broke bad again lol - I tried a little sample size of moonshine eggnog#Shit's lit honestly it was really tasty and decently high proof so even for such a small amount I got a bit dizzy! Nice#I was gifted the same brand's coffee moonshine and it was neither as tasty or effective but I appreciate the gesture all the same#First night my PC was out - obviously I was worried for her :( I'd only backed up a handful of files not including my Ghostkinz stuff#So I was very worried they'd be affected.... They weren't but boy was that a gamble!#The other stuff... I mean first of all thank goodness I /had/ backed up that handful because a few corrupted while she was out#That last scribble in particular was after the confirmation that my diary was lost And she had bluescreened#We were out and about seeing if we could pass the time until her permissions got transferred over and had just called it that No we couldn't#So we called it and went home and I got to start trying to parse those feelings while still trying to Secret Santa hahaa... Hgh just toss it
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#okay rant time about the stupidest shit in the world aka stay twitter discourse rn#so chan puts out the railway mv. very fun very hot we all love it. and that's where things should end. but noooooooo stays are incapable#of letting a good thing lie. so what do they do? start a fanwar with engenes#so many posts like 'THIS is how you do a vampire concept' 'he's ACTUALLY leaning into the vampire concept' 'finally a GOOD vampire concept'#which is just like. clearly shading enhypen bc their whole deal is vampires#so then engenes (understandably but annoyingly) snipe back like#'now EVERYBODY wants to be a vampire' 'it's just gore how unoriginal' etc etc#so then stays go back and purposefully misunderstand and are like 'enhypen didn't invent the vampire concept idiots lots of people have#done vampire concepts before' which is like. duh. not what they're saying#but it's all so stupid bc stays were being deliberately inflammatory about enhypen#saying one mv is a better rep of vampires than like. enhypen's whole deal#which is vampire themes in almost every mv. a whole webtoon and dedicated album. multiple short films and concept videos#WHICH ARE ALL REALLY WELL DONE!!#like why can't people just appreciate they're both good and different. why can't we be like "oh fun they both did vampires!'#especially cause they're friends! jeongin and heeseung are friends! jake is chanlix's adopted aussie son! niki looks up to hyunjin so much!#but nooooo we have to be petty and have a dick measuring contest about who's been doing vampire stuff longer which is completely irrelevant#to what the actual discourse started was anyways#all this to say it's been very annoying bc it's been my whole twitter timeline for the past three days#and i just want to see appreciation for chan's mv and clips of heeseung being hot at their concert last night. is that too much to ask??#staygenes are god's strongest soldiers rn#just deliberate misinterpretations from both sides and stays starting shit again. like always#which is way every other fandom hates stays so bad#UGHHHHHH i just want to have fun but every single post on twitter is about this and i want to tear my hair out#anyways this is a very long rant about a very stupid thing but it's been annoying me so#here we are#wow i haven't done a rant post in a while. and over something so truly stupid too#hopefully by typing this out the annoyance will be released from my body#lol#k speaks
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Watched interstellar with my sisters yesterday and was once again reminded its awesome as shit especially on a big screen (ill rant about it smoother time) but while I was searching for the score to listen to i learned that apparently its not thought of super fondly for alot of people? Id pretty confidently list it as one of my favorite movies still im legit kinda shocked that some people straight up hate it/ think its awful lmao
#dr brands repeated use of do not go gentle into that good night and the tesseract are still so vivid in my mind#the whole last half when shit reallt hits the fan is to. like that shit is some of the most tension ive felt with a movie period#even when i was fidst watching it as a dumbass kid i knew i was watching smthing really good and i still think as an adult it holds up#idk i have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it that have built up lmao#sme other time maybe#interstellar
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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#ok tag rant time yay#cus i need to process some shit#soooo the big thing is ajdhfnfhdk pretty girl!!! yay!!!!! and first time for that!!!!!!!! we matched on an app last friday#got coffee the next morning then met up again monday night (implied fun things) then in the wednesday morning shit show she came over just#to sit with me and so everything could be ok for a while and i felt the safest I ever have#which is a big deal because last time i had that feeling i was with the guy i like and one of my best friends sleeping on the floor because#little tiny college beds dont fit three people and then they left me on the floor to sleep in one bed together and i cried a lot#then they essentially kicked me out of the polycule and started dating soooo :) yeah#good to replace that with a (absolutely fucking gorgeous) pretty girl holding onto me while the world falls apart#and yeah she's sosososo prettyyyyy she has such nice dark long hair and really pretty eyes and she's literally#6 feet tall (which. ajdhdjfndbsmdjcjfj.) and she's the biggest nerd omg i had a like 2 hour conversation with her and her gf about star trek#its great#we're moving sapphic fast lol which is a lot but im obsessed with her a bit#did i mention shes so pretty? its fr like that one tiktok sound about a hot girl and her little gay boyfriend#oh and she came over again last night and i think im gonna dieeee lol i never realized how much of a physical touch person i am before#i mean i knew i liked it a lot but i just do not want to let go. at all. ever. i miss her#this is what i mean by bisexual so gay for men and women and it happens liek the stereotypes for both#sadly she's already mentioned maybe having to move because of everything and i really don't want that#but i guess we'll try it for as long as we can#overall though yay yay yay!!!!!!!!!!!!
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