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aspd-culture · 7 months ago

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Sorry ig in advance since you get questions a lot but got curious about a few things

1. Is it normal for pwASPD to view unbeneficial relationships as chores? I know I, a likely prosocial, when I don't see the benefit in a relationship, I have to view it as being a chore to continue it.

2. If a connection is established between harming others and being harmed, will a pwASPD, for lack of a better term, be able to mimic empathy or remorse?

3. Do you know if pwASPD and another comorbid disorder, if the other disorder causes already low or fragile self esteem (like another cluster B), can seem like they don't have ASPD?

These are mostly for project research but also out of curiosity because I can

Nothing to be sorry for!!/gen

1.) Oh yes. So very, very much yes. And honestly, it's even worse than a chore - more like if a dead-end job decided to stop paying you but you'd go to jail if you quit. If you've ever seen a kid stuck dress shopping with their mother on TV, that's the way I would like to act through every single interaction with an equal part useless and annoying but unavoidable prosocial irl. Every single non-Exception prosocial is that coworker you hate who won't leave you alone./hj Joking aside, not all prosocials are actually that annoying actually. So it kind of depends; sometimes it's fine at least for me.

2.) Yeah, I'd say so. This goes differently for all of us, but for the most part "connection formed" would probably go in the direction of an Exception, and that's where some symptoms of ASPD are lessened for those of us that have them. That includes often having some degree of effective empathy and/or a desire to work on cognitive empathy with them in particular (I use them as practice to make the necessary use of cognitive empathy less annoying with non-Exceptions). Ditto with remorse for some pwASPD, though for me in particular that depends on the Exception in question. Some still do not bring out remorse in me for whatever reason. This is a good place to note that actually, since I don't think I've mentioned this elsewhere. Exceptions do not all have to be the same even for the same pwASPD. Two friends may have different symptoms they alleviate vs don't affect vs worsen, and of course platonic vs sexual vs romantic Exceptions often vary in that as well. For me and a few other pwASPD I've met, this may also occur with some groups of people who aren't Exceptions but cause an Exception-esque response. For me, kids get that as most do other people struggling with mental health disorders beyond just depression and anxiety (nothing easy about those two it's just in our current world most people have those). If I hurt a kid's feelings, 25/10 times I am going to cry with them or force myself not to. And that will vary for each pwASPD based on how much social neurological development was completed before it was fundamentally changed and started developing antisocially too. Some of us have more empathy than others, or more remorse than others (and vice versa) in general, so that'll impact those situations too.

3.) So this depends on what you define as "seem like they don't have ASPD", though it won't be self-esteem that affects that. Generally I'd point that more in the direction of NPD. But yeah, looking at the symptoms of ASPD, there are a few specific disorders that cause someone who very much has ASPD to not be diagnosed and/or believed both professionally and personally. In personal relationships, it's honestly just not being a serial k*ller that will get most to think you don't have it. Professionally, you're looking at disorders that cause social problems (such as autism, SAD - social anxiety, and GAD - generalized anxiety), impulse control (ADHD mostly), emotional instability (bipolar disorder, IED - intermittent explosive, ODD - oppositional defiance, and yeah your other cluster b PDs). There are others that make a whole lot less sense imo to get in the way of an ASPD diagnosis too. Schizophrenia comes to mind, with some professionals thinking that it's just... so many episodes of psychosis that it starts to look like ASPD which, don't even get me started on how much of a medical failure it is that I have heard of that specific thing happening. But mostly, it's going to be the ones I listed previously. None of these are mutually exclusive with ASPD, but they have symptoms that overlap with or mimic ASPD's, and so you'll have genuinely good professionals who are trying to avoid over/misdiagnosis where it applies to a *very* stigmatized disorder, and you'll have lazy ones that don't care to try and pick out which it is if not both. That will all just depend on the pwASPD's presentation of symptoms. I had more than one professional refuse to believe I had ASPD, and my (very lovely and dilligent/gen) psychiatrist was also leaning to just diagnose autism until I said some line about the reason I try for social interaction not being because I want to but because everyone has to to be able to get what they need in life. Once she realized I see it as an irritating requirement to associate with other people - even ones I kind of like - she quickly turned on that and diagnosed both. That's why it's important to speak openly and with as much of the mask removed as possible without getting yourself in trouble. They will try and avoid labelling you with something like this unless they are 1000% sure because of its connotations and the social and professional implications of having ASPD. It is very possible to pick out which is which or if it's more than one with overlap in regards to any set of comorbidities even outside of ASPD, but it takes a lot of work for that to be done properly especially if you're still masking in front of them.

I have no issue with anyone asking just out of curiosity by the way. Seriously like I guess I see why some people feel weird about it, but genuine interest is the reason why disorders get looked into, researched, and potentially normalized and accepted. There is nothing wrong with being interested in any topic as long as you're respectful in your interactions with sensitive subjects, and this ask was completely respectful, so I'm happy to answer it./gen

Plain text below the cut:

Nothing to be sorry for!!/gen

There are others that make a whole lot less sense imo to get in the way of an ASPD diagnosis too. Schizophrenia comes to mind, with some professionals thinking that it's just... so many episodes of psychosis that it starts to look like ASPD which, don't even get me started on how much of a medical failure it is that I have heard of that specific thing happening. But mostly, it's going to be the ones I listed previously. None of these are mutually exclusive with ASPD, but they have symptoms that overlap with or mimic ASPD's, and so you'll have genuinely good professionals who are trying to avoid over/misdiagnosis where it applies to a very stigmatized disorder, and you'll have lazy ones that don't care to try and pick out which it is if not both. That will all just depend on the pwASPD's presentation of symptoms. I had more than one professional refuse to believe I had ASPD, and my (very lovely and dilligent/gen) psychiatrist was also leaning to just diagnose autism until I said some line about the reason I try for social interaction not being because I want to but because everyone has to to be able to get what they need in life. Once she realized I see it as an irritating requirement to associate with other people - even ones I kind of like - she quickly turned on that and diagnosed both. That's why it's important to speak openly and with as much of the mask removed as possible without getting yourself in trouble. They will try and avoid labelling you with something like this unless they are 1000% sure because of its connotations and the social and professional implications of having ASPD. It is very possible to pick out which is which or if it's more than one with overlap in regards to any set of comorbidities even outside of ASPD, but it takes a lot of work for that to be done properly especially if you're still masking in front of them.

#is the culture unmasked?#who knows?#tw sex mention #aspd-culture-is #aspd culture is #aspd culture #actually aspd #aspd #aspd awareness #actually antisocial #antisocial personality disorder #aspd traits #anons welcome

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moonyasnow · 1 month ago

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The ways in which my OCs are neurodivergent

Bc this is a legitimately big part of who they are as people and I'm not gonna let you forget! My OCs are neurodivergent, some of them mentally ill, and I'm very open about that fact; I really LOVE talking about it actually ^^

I love sharing things like this, especially bc just normalizing stuff is a big step toward wider acceptance of it! And as an autistic person with ADHD, Tourettes and BPD, my own perspective is just so neurodivergent to a degree where I don't really know how to write characters who aren't at least somewhat neurodivergent

Plus...way too few people seem to be actually aware of what a lot of these things actually entail for the people who actually are/have it :,) So wherever I can, I wanna work to try to change that!

Edit:

@babyghoul138 CRAP I FORGOT TO TAG YOU FOR VERONICA—

Tomoe

She's autistic.

You might not be able to see it easily, because she's very good at masking it, but she is.

But you can still see it very clearly when she starts talking about history! Because once she starts, she gets so overwhelmed with excitement about being able to share everything she knows of one of her favorite things in the world that the mask just sorta falls off.

That's a big reason why she's always wanted to be a history teacher; to be able to share that excitement with others, and have an excuse to talk about it and teach others all her favorite historical facts every day.

Btw I'm saying 'is autistic' instead of something like 'has autism' because there is no way to separate the person from the autism, if that makes sense. Autism makes up so much of who an autistic person is (the way we think, the way we grow up, the things we like and are drawn to, how we interact with others on a fundamental leve, etc) that there would be nothing left if you 'took away' the autism.

Irina

She has Borderline Personality Disorder.

Since idk how much the general population knows about BPD, here are the symptoms (taken from helpguide.org)

Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous as a loved one arriving home late from work or going away for the weekend may trigger intense fear. This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person close. You may beg, cling, start fights, track your loved one’s movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this behavior tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.

Unstable relationships. People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel like they have emotional whiplash as a result of your rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate.

Unclear or shifting self-image. When you have BPD, your sense of self is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel good about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself as evil. You probably don’t have a clear idea of who you are or what you want in life. As a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, or even sexual identity.

Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset. You may impulsively spend money you can’t afford, binge eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may help you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those around you over the long-term.

Self-harm. Suicidal behavior and deliberate self-harm is common in people with BPD. Suicidal behavior includes thinking about suicide, making suicidal gestures or threats, or actually carrying out a suicide attempt. Self-harm encompasses all other attempts to hurt yourself without suicidal intent. Common forms of self-harm include cutting and burning.

Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. One moment, you may feel happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people brush off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, but they tend to pass fairly quickly (unlike the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.

Chronic feelings of emptiness. People with BPD often talk about feeling empty, as if there’s a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you’re “nothing” or “nobody.” This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. But nothing feels truly satisfying.

Explosive anger. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a short temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed by rage. It’s important to note that this anger isn’t always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry at yourself.

Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. People with BPD often struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts about others’ motives. When under stress, you may even lose touch with reality—an experience known as dissociation. You may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you’re outside your own body.

The way it manifests in her is she has the 'Discouraged' subtype

There are 4 commonly recognized subtypes: Discouraged, Petulant, Self-Destructive and Impulsive. They come from which of the symptoms of BPD a particular person with it shows more prominently.

For irina, this means that she suffers more from the symptoms of 'fear of abandonment', and she directs all her negative feelings inside at HERSELF rather than at others. For this reason, this kind can also be called 'quiet' Borderline since it can be hard to tell it's there at all with no outward signs

The Discouraged Subtype is most often characterized by: Avoidant, depressive or dependent behaviors, an intense- sometimes even crippling- fear of abandonment, and always directing negative emotions inward and believing they are at fault. Can also be desrcibed to be operating in 'abandoned child' mode; wanting to do anything to avoid a percieved abandonment.

What specifically causes BPD isn't 100% known, but it's thought to be a mix of childhood experiences and genetics.

I'll talk more about the 'childhood experiences' part in Veronica's part, so here I'll discuss the 'genetic's part...

For example...

I hadn't actually thought about it until a while ago while discussing it with a friend, but It's VERY likely that Irina got, or was at least at a much higher possibility of developing BPD because of her father.

Because looking at the things he did...he'd fit into at LEAST 7 of the symptoms.

All he ever did was either go out drinking and doing drugs (impulsive, self-destructive behavior with no regard for his own health or safety) or stay home watching TV. Both, I think, could very well be an example of that 'chronic feelings of emptiness' thing; he wanted to find something to fill the void with.

I also think he sometimes just bought random stuff he thought was cool, both as another example of that emptiness, but also of the thing with constant shifting self-image.

And unstable relationships, mood swings and explosive anger... There's an OVERABUNDANCE of evidence for that.

Spike

Like I said, I'm not 100% sure about Spike yet... I don't think he's ENTIRELY neurotypical though...

I don't think it's autism...

I'm thinking maybe some sort of learning disability? A few SYMPTOMS of ADHD???

...I don't know...

But there's SOMETHING here...I can just feel it

Junia

Is autistic, has dyslexia and dyscalculia

Her dyslexia and dyscalculia are pretty straight-forward. She has a lot of trouble reading: to her, letters, and numbers too, always just refuse to stay still on the page, shfting and jumping around so much it makes most texts illegible to her. Even though she tried to learn to read...she barely can.

Which lead to all her peers making fun of her when she was a child, calling her stupid for not being able to read or do math.

She's never been super good at reading the room; she can usually discern whether the mood is positive or negative, but not much else. And only really if people are being honest. She can pick up on individual people's moods pretty well though. At least, unless they're actively TRYING to hide it.

She learned to read people's emotions pretty ok because she's very empathetic, and also because her mother's expression was often a sign of if Junia had done something 'wrong' or 'weird' again...and she wanted to make her mother happy, and do things 'right.'

She's quite gullible, and trusting, always believing people have good intentions. She's a bit more cautious than, say, Kalim, because her mother always told her not to trust strangers so easily. But when someone is in front of her, and being nice to her, she just feels bad thinking they could be suspicious, so it doesn't take too long for her to start to become more comfortable around them.

It's happened before that people she thought were her friends were just her 'friends' to make fun of her behind her back.

Often, her trains of thought make no sense to others around her.

She's always liked things other thought of as 'weird'. Like for example having a huge love of flowers- almost all of which don't even grow underwater- and cats- which DEFINITELY don't live underwater. But also things people consider 'scary' like horror! Whenever she's seen a big monster in a story, she's never been scared of it, instead seeing it as a friend.

Because people have always struggled to understand her, and called her weird, she's always felt like an outsider, even when she was surrounded by people. So she feels more at home with monsters, and cats, and most things that AREN'T people. And monsters in particular, because they can understand what it feels like to be different.

In fact, when she was little, she dreamed of marrying a monster, thinking what good friends they'd be.

She doesn't really 'mask'...it's more that she's just silent more often than if no one had ever reacted negatively to her openly being herself. Because of the weird looks she used to get when she spoke her mind, she just...doesn't, anymore. At least, not unless she considers someone her friend.

As an example, she feels comfortable speaking her mind, no matter how 'weird' it might sound, with the rest of the Pop Music Club. Probably because Kalim is likely very similar to her in that regard, and Lilia kinda is too, since fae have a different way of thinking than most non-fae people. It's mostly just Cater who sometimes has trouble understanding what she's thinking or what she means.

Lisle

He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Info from mayoclinic.org, again, since they're basically my best friend when it comes to this stuff

"Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial matters. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them.

Treatment for narcissistic personality disorder centers around talk therapy, also called psychotherapy.

Narcissistic personality disorder affects more males than females, and it often begins in the teens or early adulthood. Some children may show traits of narcissism, but this is often typical for their age and doesn't mean they'll go on to develop narcissistic personality disorder.

Symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder and how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can:

Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.

Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.

Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.

Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.

Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.

Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.

Take advantage of others to get what they want.

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.

Be envious of others and believe others envy them.

Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special recognition or treatment.

Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.

React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.

Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.

Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.

Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.

Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.

Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure."

Lisle is, again, say it with me now, just pretty good at hiding all of this, to the point where most people don't realize this is what's going on in his head. He himself had no idea about it.

I think, after his Overblot, he'd be made to go to therapy of some kind, where he'd start to find out more about this and his own troubles in his personal relationships with others.

I don't think his fundamentally selfish mindset would ever really change; it's just part of him. And since he still does treat people pretty well, for Lisle, it's not exactly something that's TOO much of an issue.

Veronica

Also has Borderline Personality Disorder

She has the 'Petulant' subtype. For her meaning the symptoms that manifest stronger in her are the 'explosive anger'

The Petulant subtype is most often characterized by: Passive aggressive behaviors, directing anger outward, a feeling that it's the world- not the person- who is at fault, unpredictable moodswings, and a need to feel in control.

She feels constantly angry, at both the world AND at herself, often with no clear cause or reasoning.

I'm only just now, after reading through a lot of stuff I wrote her saying as part of other fandom settings, am I realizing just how…I guess 'mellow' Veronica currently is compared to what she used to be when she was younger?

Like… look at these quotes:

"Why do you care? What, is it a crime to read a book now?"

Veronica becomes angry "You— you think I hadn't thought of that? I can't! That's why I fucking asked you in the first place! Ugh, just, forget it! I'll go read a book about it or something." And she storms away.

This was her attitude all the time, on a regular basis, with EVERYONE. Talk to her, no matter the topic, and it's very likely you'll be yelled at, with her taking everything as having insulting or malicious intent, which also handily ticks off the 'feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality' symptom.

She was always just— so angry. Angry because she couldn't really trust anyone but herself, so she was always stuck in 'defense' mode. So now that she actually has friends she trusts and respects, who trust and respect her too, and she has her brother back, it's like she feels more safe.

And she definitely swore way more before NRC, even though she still swears a lot now. Credit to Vil for that.

It really goes to show what a good support system and learning to better manage that anger can do for people with BPD.

And now, for the thing about 'childhood experiences' playing some part of it... Though first- I do think it could be possible that her mother having a few traits of it, such as intense emotions, could also be part of it for Veronica.

But for people with BPD, when it comes to trauma, it's thought that a disruption in attachment at an early age could cause it For Veronica...take your pick, really.

Losing her parents, then her brother, and then her father... Any one of them could have brought about SOME of it...so just imagine what all three of them, along with the disorienting experience of basically being 'thrown out of the nest' before she was ready- being sent to that school halfway across the country, where she knew no one and nothing was familiar to her, after having gone through so many already traumatic losses...and then add to that her original teacher having provided her no comfort.

Victor

Has SYMPTOMS OF Antisocial Personality Disorder

According to the medical website Mayclinic.org:

"Symptoms of antisocial personality disorder include repeatedly:

Ignoring right and wrong.

Telling lies to take advantage of others.

Not being sensitive to or respectful of others.

Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or pleasure.

Having a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated.

Having problems with the law, including criminal behavior.

Being hostile, aggressive, violent or threatening to others.

Feeling no guilt about harming others.

Doing dangerous things with no regard for the safety of self or others.

Being irresponsible and failing to fulfill work or financial responsibilities.

Adults with antisocial personality disorder usually show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. Symptoms of conduct disorder include serious, ongoing behavior problems, such as:

Aggression toward people and animals.

Destruction of property.

Lying and dishonesty.

Theft.

Serious violation of rules.

Antisocial personality disorder is considered a lifelong condition. But in some people, certain symptoms ― particularly destructive and criminal behavior ― may decrease over time. It's not clear whether this decrease is a result of the effect aging has on their mind and body, an increased awareness of the impact that antisocial behavior has had on their life, or other factors."

Though I would add that, the fact that Victor actually has a very good sense of what is and is not societally appropriate is why I only said he has SYMPTOMS of it, since I'm not a doctor, and thus wouldn't know if that would or would not make him applicable for a diagnosis.

Artemisia

Is autistic, has ADD (like ADHD, but the MIND is hyperactive rather than the body), anxiety, and depression

As her ADD pertains, she has a habit of getting lost in her thoughts quite often. Or a book. She has difficulty focusing on multiple things at a time, and can feel overwhelmed if there's a lot that needs to be done. But so long as she just decides to pick ONE thing to focus on, it usually winds up ok, though it does make her stressed.

The anxiety is mostly SOCIAL anxiety, and for a pretty clear reason, that being her past experiences WITH people. But still anxiety, so I think it counts.

Depression... It's something she's struggled with since she was pretty young.

Shutting yourself into your room for years on end with nothing to do each day except read books doesn't exactly create the best conditions for good mental health.

She's legitimately had suicidal thoughts for many years, since she thought she had no reason to live. She never tried anything, though, because she just didn't want to. For her it more manifested as a lot of escapism through books. That or just sleeping for a whole day.

It's started to get a bit better now though. More stable. Now she has friends like Idia, Silver and Sebek. Idia knows exactly what all that stuff feels like, Silver tries his best to understand despite not having felt them himself, and Sebek tries to get her to do more stuff outside of her room. So she has a lot of supportive people around her, and she's grateful for it.

Because she doesn't want to keep feeling like that...she does want to feel ok.

She's never been good at understanding the emotions of other people. She can understand simple expresssions, but not automatically. It's a bit stilted, like someone who didn't grow up learning a specific language learning to read it; it's a manual process, instead of an automatic one. And since she's unable to pick up on things unless they're expressed in words, she ends up not knowing

She's always been completely unable to understand subtext unless she has it spelled out for her. She's also thus very bad at knowing when she's being lied to. She's so used to living in a world of only her- and she's the type who always tells the truth no matter what, and to her it's just a foregone conclusion that it's the good and rational thing to do- that others being capable of deception isn't a thought that enters her mind often. At least, not when she herself is involved.

Even if she sees a discrepancy in the things someone said and did, she always assumes they must have just misspoken, or made some other mistake, or not realized it. She assumes there has to be a reason for it.

It just doesn't come naturally to her to think someone could be operating in bad faith.

She also has a lot of sensory issues. Her senses of touch and hearing are VERY sensitive. One of the reason she doesn't like crowds is because she kinda has no 'filter' for her ears-- she hears EVERYTHING around her; the ticking of the clock, the humming of the lights, and the conversation on the other side of the room. None of it ever becomes 'just background noise' to her.

And she can't stand it when most people, even those she likes, touch her. She always refuses to shake people's hands because her sense of touch is so sensitive that it often ends up overwhelming her and making her uncomfortable. This also leads to her being unable to wear an item of clothing unless the tag has been removed, because otherwise how uncomfortable it feels is all she can focus on.

Tagging @angelwishess BC ANGEL MADE ME DO THIS-- /hj

#🌻tomoe #🐰irina #🥊spike #🐚junia #😇lisle #🐝veronica #🩸victor #🦢artemisia #moony's ocs

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violentviolette · 11 months ago

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Can you talk a little bit about crossovers in ASPD, ADHD, and Austism?

there's honestly a lot. having autism/adhd put u at a higher risk for childhood abuse and neglect and the specific ways that autistic in particular but adhd kids as well get mistreated and abused are very likely to cause cluster b disorders which is one probable reason for the amount of overlap and comorbidity between the three

for aspd in particular some of the overlapping symptoms are things like:

low distress tolerence

low overstimulation threshold

chronic understimulation/boredom

perseveration on specific thoughts or feelings

demand avoidance/ pathological demand avoidance

oppositional defiance/rejection of outside control and influence

valuing ones own internal sense of logic and understanding over outside influence

rejection of societal and social norms

impulsivity and difficulty not acting on impulses

difficulty with delayed gratification

empathy dysfunction

decision paralysis/ analysis paralysis

maladaptive daydreaming

dissasociation

struggles with anger, irritability, and aggression

executive dysfunction

thats all the ones i can think of rn but this is by no means an exaughstive or comprehensive list. and even within each of those bullet points there's absolutely like, micro lists underneath them of how each of those things presents in a practical manner and the thought processes behind them

for example executive dysfunction, this is often viewed as "irresponsibility" or lack of caring/understanding and is weaponized differently for each. autistic ppl often get infantalized and viewed as too unintelligent or incompitent to understand what to do, while ppl with adhd are viewed as selfishly lazy and not trying hard enough, and then ppl with aspd are viewed as maliciously and purposefully not doing tasks to hurt others. when in reality, all of it stems from the inability to properly order and execute specific tasks in specific ways under specific time constraints without any kind of accomodation

aspd lists a vague and unspecific "biological component" that is required for the disorder to manifest alongside trauma, which lots of people have taken to mean that aspd has some inherent "asshole gene" where ur just born a piece of shit but in realy the "biological component" is nuerodiversity. aspd is the result of prolonged childhood trauma on a nuerodivergent brain. and the most common form of nuerodivergency is autism, with adhd a close second (mostly because in reality these two exist on the same spectrum and are not two distinct things but more like different points on the same graph)

so these things are much less three distinct and completely different catagories and more like a venn diagram that is practically a circle and therefore share a ton of overlap

i hope that was helpful and please feel free to come back and ask more if u want me to expound on any of these points or go into more detail about specific symptoms or similarities

#jack.speaks #anon #aspd #aspd safe #actually autistic #adhd #actually adhd #neurodivergent #nuerodiversity #cluster b #cluster b pd #actually aspd #actually antisocial #aspd tag #autism

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gryficowa · 1 year ago

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Thomas confirmed "Marinette's" diagnosis in the ADHD fandom just to keep the fadom from trashing his imaginary daughter

The proof are the words from the intro suggesting that "Marinette is a normal girl with a normal life", neurodivergent people are the opposite of "Normal", it is not without reason that many people with ASD and ADHD end up with low self-esteem (And they mask it, which unfortunately harms their condition mental)

Neurodivergent people see themselves as "Abnormal", especially if "Marinette" was supposed to be a scapegoat, such people withdraw from people and avoid them, so even Marinette shouldn't have friends (Luz Noceda only gained them in another world, and many of them 100% of them are neurodivergent people)

Such small things prove that Marinette was supposed to be able-bodied, and "ADHD behavior" was something that Thomas considered "Funny imperfections of the main character" and this context is worse, because if you mention that Chloe has symptoms of ASD, Thomas will probably not accept it and he will quarrel with you

Yes, Marinette points out that she was supposed to be able-bodied, but the fact that "ADHD" helped avoid many charges was Thomas using it

Chloe is closer to neurodiversity than Marinette, because with her it wasn't used as an excuse (And unfortunately, Thomas trashes her so much that many people from the fandom bought it) + She has almost no friends and does a lot of things that many are quite sus (Which is more fitting for a neurodivergent person than Marinette)

Seriously, as someone on the autism spectrum, I can spot things like this and it's disgusting that Thomas uses people with ADHD as characters who stalk and do a lot of things that sound like a crime story

Seriously, neurodivergent people? Have you stopped respecting each other and are happy with the worst representation because the creator said that this is what happens when the series suggests something different? You should have expectations, because the representation of disability is seriously terrible and without a fight it can get even worse, because you are rewarding the creator for not sanctioning you

Do you seriously want to be represented by a stalker and a person who builds a relationship on a fucking lie?

Honestly, Chloe wasn't a bad person, it was Thomas who was such a pain in the ass that he tried so hard to antagonize her (And it's sad that people bought it), this isn't Chloe from the first season or the second one, she's a caricature, which is something the creators do with little writing skills

Was Chloe good? Neither, she's best described as an anti-hero, but she's 100% not what Thomas did with her

So yes, Marinette's writing is fucked up, just like the fact that you want the guy who bans black people on Twitter (Because they pointed out the racism in his cartoon) to confirm something he has no fucking clue about

Seriously, neurodivergent people, do you have such low expectations for any representation?

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gregrulzok · 10 months ago

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Hello...Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Hi !!

I wouldn't say I necessarily have a straightforward top 10 list as such ... But I'm not one to pass up and opportunity to infodump on anyone who'll indulge me !

I hope this is what you're looking for and, uh, buckle up. I'll include a TL;DR with each character to make your life easier, because knowing me, this is gonna get LONG.

Also potential spoilers for: Dungeon Meshi, Night in the Woods, Berserk, Devilman Crybaby, Arcane, Jujutsu Kaisen, Dimension 20: Fantasy High, JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind.

Also note that Berserk and Devilman Crybaby are both NSFW sources. I don't mention anything explicit here, but be mindful when looking into it.

Laios Touden (Dungeon Meshi)

TL;DR: Excellent neurodivergent representation, complex and unique in how interesting he is, also just me IRL

I'll be honest in saying he isn't actually my favourite Dungeon Meshi character (that's probably Chilchuck), but he IS the one I think about the most.

I'm firmly of the opinion that Laios is intentionally written to be neurodivergent-coded, and I say this because he's incredibly nuanced and interesting in the way he portrays symptoms and signs of autism. Most canon autistic representation I see can be boiled down to "slightly quirky" with a dash of the same 3 symptoms, and the background of that, Laios is a breath of fresh air. He's socially inept, but not at all cold or inexpressive - quite the opposite, he's open and enthusiastic and optimistic. He's obsessive, not in a quirky jokey way, nor in the way of being a savant that knows everything off the top of his head - he genuinely feels like he's learning about his interest and ENJOYS learning about it, rather than being robotic in his hyperfixation. On top of that, the thing he's hyperfixated on is EXTREMELY realistic for a neurodivergent person - many of us do find interest in animals, in cryptids, in other living beings that are, well, other, because we spend our whole lives being alienated and separate from our peers and we seek that comfort in other places. Monsters are straightforward, they don't play mindgames. They are powerful, they don't let others push them around (Laios, mind, is also powerful - but he's a human, so his strength alone has never been enough to protect him). And after all, humans already hate him, they already treat him as an unwanted freak. Why shouldn't he find solace in creatures that are treated the same way he is?

I could go on and on about how amazing he is, but honestly a lot of what I have to say could be posts of their own and we'd be here all day. I'll say also that he's just ... Plain and honest relatable. I have not projected so hard onto a character in a long time.

Angus DeLaney (Night in the Woods)

TL;DR: Comfort Character Extraordinare

If Laios is good to my brain because he reminds me of myself, Angus is good to my brain because he reminds me of my boyfriend. This, I cannot deny.

He isn't the most complex character in the world, nor even in NitW - yet I think there's more to him than people give him credit for. I think he's excellent in filling the role he's given - a friend-of-a-friend, a near-stranger, the person in the friend group our protagonist is in, someone she knows, and yet doesn't, likes, and yet doesn't really vibe with. He's nuanced and deep, has a life of his own, and honestly I'm almost glad they didn't explore it fully. By having Mae only get a tiny glimpse into his life, after knowing him for so long and yet never really spending time with him, we get the sense that people are people whether or not they're in Mae's life. It gives a greater sense of depth to the world offered to us by the game. Mae's close friends she knows well aren't the only ones going through tough things, everyone has their own story, and sometimes she only gets a tiny hint of that, and sometimes she gets none at all. I think it's very true to life, and very smart.

As for Angus specifically, well. He's smart, warm, kind. He doesn't let his cynicism get in the way of his friends fun, nor does he let it stop him from taking their worries seriously. He shows affection through cooking, he makes dumb nerdy jokes, he's canonically more charismatic than you'd think, he wants to take care of everyone and doesn't know how to take care of himself, and he has a fantastic ass.

He reminds me of my boyfriend. What more can I ask for.

Griffith (Berserk) & Ryo Asuka (Devilman Crybaby)

TL;DR: Incredibly nuanced villains that I want to put on a little dish and dissect. Themes of light and purity as something evil, of good intentions (Griffith) and love (Ryo) as something horrifying.

I figure I could just combine these two, given how much they've impacted each-other's writing.

Griffith AND Ryo are both infinitely nuanced characters, in ways that are complimentary and yet still different enough.

I've made a few posts about Griffith (if only because I recently finished Berserk), and my opinion on him can be summarised as such: I think he's the best villain in fiction, in that he is afforded nuance and complexity, without having to take away his teeth and make him ultimately pathetic, unintimidating, or a sexyman. I think the most interesting part of Griffith is his politics, his drive to change the world, his willingness to sacrifice everything to the greater good to the point where it becomes apocalyptic. It's fascinating to watch a character be so wrapped in genuine and honest good intentions, to the point of destroying everything.

I don't think I've talked much about Ryo (I should rewatch Crybaby), which is really a shame because he's no less interesting. He takes an aspect of Griffith that I haven't talked much about (rather, Griffith takes an aspect of Ryo) - obsessive love and devotion to the point of destruction - and amps it up to an infinite degree. Unlike Griffith, who pushes aside his love for his political motivation, Ryo destroys everything and anything in his path to the one he loves - including that very person. He's possessive and obsessive, in a way that does end up feeling genuine, and his entire humanity is concentrated on his feelings to this one person.

Together, these characters represent a trope that I personally love - purity, beauty and light as something evil, something vile, something overwhelming and possessive (as contrasted by something dirty, something crude, something rough being real and human and kind).

I just find them fascinating.

Ekko (Arcane)

TL;DR: mmmm community centric anarchist punk king.

This is possibly the most self indulgent one. Arcane is a wonderful show entirely full of fascinating characters I love, and each one of them deserves an amount of words that even I don't possess to describe their greatness.

Ekko is no less cool and interesting for having less screen time, but if we're just being honest here for a second ...

I just love his vibe.

I love that he was a rowdy, shitty little kid that antagonised everyone he could. I love that as he grew, he got more serious, took on an air of responsibility, but he didn't lose his friendliness, his humour, his artistry. I love that he prioritizes fun and growth and community, not just survival. I love that he has authority as a leader, not through fear but through confidence, through respect. I love his scene with Vi, where he bites back at her for the first time, I love their hug, I love their bond. I love his fight with Jinx, I love that for a moment they're just kids playing a game, I love seeing the reality crash over him like a wave. I love the little tidbits we get of him as a kid, playing dumb pranks, practicing his punches.

And to be completely clear: HE IS THE ONLY CHARACTER THAT WAS CORRECT.

Heimerdinger, Jayce, Silco, Vander, Mel, every single leader in this show is either too preoccupied trying to preserve broken pieces of the past or they're speeding towards a future they don't understand.

Ekko says NONE OF THAT SHIT, takes up the punk anarchist mantel, and says "I am going to take care of the injured, the indisposed, the homeless, the sick, the children, because blind ideals mean nothing in the face of real poverty and struggle".

...Which is why I say it's self indulgent on my part. It's just because I fully agree with his ideologies.

Geto Suguru (Jujutsu Kaisen)

TL;DR: Another villain I absolutely love analyzing and dissecting. Beautifully written ideology and motivation that is fully understandable even if it's something any sane human would viscerally disagree with.

I've written post upon post on Geto, so I won't get too into it, but I still wanted to mention him. Another reason I won't talk too much here is because I've ultimately fallen out of love with JJK - sad, but true. In my opinion, the most interesting part of the show was, in fact, Geto.

Geto's ideology is incredibly well written. So, so many little details end up playing into it, it's set up so carefully and expertly that in the end it's incredibly easy to see how he ended up in the place he did. The death of his friends, the responsibility of Mimiko and Nanako, the way he's treated, the way his best friend is treated... Some of these things are big, some more subtle, but they all lay a brick in the foundation of one of the best villain arcs I can name. And if you can't tell, I'm a big fan of villains that genuinely believe what they preach. There's an air of sincerity about him, despite being a manipulative asshole, he isn't a selfish one.

I just think he's fascinating.

Fabian Aramais Seacaster (Dimension 20: Fantasy High)

TL;DR: Incredibly entertaining, and has informed the way I play my TTRPG characters.

A bit of a random one, and a more light-hearted one - I just love this silly little man.

Fabian is so unabashedly loud, silly, over the top. He makes such obvious, catastrophic mistakes, often after delivering such confident speeches about how awesome he is. And then he's allowed to have quiet moments - he can be somber, soft, sad, tragic. He loves his friends, but he can't bring himself to be obvious about it, but he wants so badly to express it. He has repressed trauma that we don't really get told - instead it's expressed through every desperate cry for attention and every subsequent moment of quiet reflection.

I've been playing TTRPGs for a little while now, but Fabian has fundamentally inspired me to be more confident, more nuanced, to take up more space at my table, and to not be scared to change the way my characters act based on the scene and mood and circumstance.

I just think he's neat !

Panacotta Fugo (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind + Purple Haze Feedback)

TL;DR: An underrated character that showcases burnout, gifted kid syndrome, and abandonment issues in a way I find particularly painful.

God. Where do I even start.

Fugo speaks very deeply to some of my own trauma. The gutteral, albeit brief depiction of gifted child syndrome and the subsequent burnout that follows it felt incredibly, palpably real not only in the episodes we see his backstory in, but also in his general behaviour. In the way he still tries to act proper and composed, in the barely-restrained rage that bubbles over once in a while, in the severe guilt felt through these outbursts. Pretty much any time Fugo is on screen is a testament to his pain and his sheer desire to overcome it, which (as amazing this show is) I can't exactly say for most JJBA characters.

The abandonment issues are more personal to me than I'd like to get too deeply into - suffice it to say, being left behind without a thought, looking at people you came to think of as your family turn their backs on you and walk away, and realising for the first time that you weren't, in fact, a needed and cherished presence in their lives, but rather something easily parted with ... That shit hurts, and it hurts me very personally.

Araki has gone on record stating that he fell in love with Fugo as a character and came to see him as a personal friend. I believe him, if the genuine and subtle care poured into every crevice of his character is anything to go by.

Purple Haze Feedback isn't canon, but it is Araki-approved, and its the exact amount and type of Fugo content I was starving for after his extremely undercut role in part 5.

And I think that's it!

Was that 10? Who knows.

Either way sorry if this isn't what you were looking for - i think one look at my blog will tell you that I'm very prone to infodumping especially as it pertains to character analysis.

And if you read it this far... Holy shit, thank you !!

To be honest as I've fallen out of fandom spaces it's become incredibly hard to come up with characters I actually like, rather than ones I've projected my own stories onto and changed fundamentally.

Playing DND has NOT been helpful, it's increasingly difficult not to spend four hours talking about a PC I made that I really love instead of any actual character haha.

Either way thank you for the ask !! Like I said I love a good opportunity to infodump.

#laios touden #dungeon meshi #angus delaney #night in the woods #griffith #berserk #ryo asuka #devilman crybaby #ekko #arcane #geto suguru #jujutsu kaisen #fabian seacaster #fantasy high #panacotta fugo #jjba gold experience

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strangestcase · 1 year ago

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No? I never said it was “just” about the names, I only pointed out it’s very telling that a lot of these medical names are INSULTS in and on themselves, and how that contributes to perpetuating stigma.

Psychiatry as a field has many things wrong with it; I could go over the fact that symptoms being classified as disorders obfuscates treatments, that the field itself has pretty bigoted roots, that diagnosis often hinges on whether or not you fit in the therapist’s biases, how ableism and medical abuse intersects with racism and misogyny… hell, the fact that a lot of natural variants in gender and sexuality were (and some still are) considered either illnesses or symptoms! It doesn’t just take a reform, it takes a whole societal re-haul- changing the way we see “normalcy” and “sanity” first and foremost.

This post was (very casually) touching on how language, and specifically the terminology related to cluster B disorders, molds the perceptions of these disorders. Someone went, saw a disorder characterized by a grandiosity that is there to fill up a lack of self-esteem in the first place, and decided to call it Narcissistic Personality Disorder because it doesn’t matter YOU are suffering, it matters that your disorder makes you “too selfish” and therefore undesirable. Nothing wrong with reclaiming the name, but why do you think it’s there in the first place? I always see a lot of people telling each other to not use “narcissist” as an insult because it harms people with NPD, but the issue is, that word was an insult before it was the name of a disorder, and not the way around.

The deal here is, language shapes the way people think. It is important to reclaim and de-stigmatize the names of disorders, sure, but the first step is becoming acutely critical of the way those names came to be, and most importantly, how and why those disorders are coined. (On that topic, there is a discussion of Oppositional Defiance Disorder vs ADHD and Autism vs Asperger’s in the notes, if anybody is interested.)

Like… you can care for more than one thing, you know. This post was never intended to blow up; it originally was an (angry) observation on the reasons people are so quick to deciding any random bad person Certainly Must Have The Bad Person Disorder and therefore contribute to further demonization: in part being because the disorder is, indeed, called Bad Person Disorder!

I think people would armchair diagnose bad people with cluster B disorders much less if psychiatric disorders hadn't all been given names by ableists who of course picked the traits most unberarable to "sane" people to name them rather than, you know, the ways it affects the people that have them. It's like, when doctors are all "this disorder gives you extremely low self esteem. and it's called the Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder" or "this disorder makes you want to die so bad. and it's called the Hysteric Bitch Disorder" or "this disorder disconnects you from your peers. and it's called the Insane Evil Cunt Disorder" and so on and so forth, so of course you have people going "oh, this person is a selfish fucking asshole, they MUST have Selfish Fucking Asshole Disorder! this further proves that all people with this disorder are like that in the first place!" Do You See It

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its-no-biggie · 2 years ago

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hmm havent been rvb posting much..... time to talk about simmons and caboose! cause a while ago i saw a post saying that simmons and caboose are on "opposite ends of the autism spectrum", which is SO true and i wanna talk about the different ways theyre each autistic coded.

[apparently i am incapable of writing a reasonable length post, sheesh]

bc like. simmons is what people typically think "mild" autism looks like. textbook "aspergers". theres a reason im using terms that arent used by the autistic community, and its because autistic people arent the ones who make these kinds of distinctions. this is autism as seen by neurotypicals: socially awkward, smart in one area of expertise but talks about it a little too much, annoyingly pedantic at times.... you get the idea. and while these are autistic traits that i can relate to, i feel like caboose is a better representation of what it feels like to actually have autism. like, he has an easier time making friends with robots than people, he never understands whats going on except for the time travel in season 17, where hes the ONLY one who understands it. he doesnt understand figurative language, constantly misses obvious social cues or breaks unwritten rules that everyone should know, and has a very hard time lying, deceiving, or keeping information from people.

and i think the reason caboose is more relatable even though simmons is more "textbook" autistic, is because caboose is written as DISABLED. he has a hard time following simple conversations. he cant understand things that should be obvious. everyone around him is constantly frustrated because "why cant he just DO it??" so even if his symptoms dont line up exactly with autism (especially since the way hes written changes over the course of the show), at the end of the day, autism is a disability. so personally, i relate a lot more with him and his struggles than someone like simmons, who is awkward and "weird", but doesnt really seem to struggle with day to day life.

in short: simmons is what masked autism (especially if you have a useful special interest, like computers) looks like from an outside perspective. a little awkward, talks too much, but smart where it counts. generally "useful", and mostly "normal". but caboose is what it feels like to grow up with autism. always confused, everyone treats you like youre different and you cant really do anything about it, cant seem to get along with anyone even though you just want to be friends, and no matter what you do, you screw up everything you touch.

anyway im not saying that simmons isnt autistic, or that hes "less" autistic (bc that isnt a thing lol). simmons just masks a lot better than caboose. thats what an autistic person pretending to be "normal" acts like (its certainly how i act around other people lmao). but because hes not written by an autistic person, they write him like thats all there is to it. which is kind of unfortunate because it feels like theres a whole other side to him that we never really get to see.

now, the fact that the writers set out to write a nerd and wrote an autism stereotype, and set out to write a dumbass and wrote someone who is clearly disabled..... that is a whole separate conversation that im not gonna get into. especially since i dont really know much about rooster teeth, aside from the fact that the fandom seems to have wholly rejected them, and of course what i can see just from watching the show. but i think its clear that its not exactly good representation.

anyway, i still hc them both as autistic, and if/when i write them, i hope my interpretation reflects that while still being true to the characters. it actually works out great for me that theres one autistic person on each team, because whenever im thinking of dialogue and i have an idea thats a little too autistic (like saying something really blunt or picking up on a pattern most people wouldnt notice) i can usually give it to one of them instead of writing it out entirely. which works out really well for caboose especially, because he tends to be quiet during exposition unless hes addressed (bc he cant follow it). so having him make autism commentary can break up all the "blue team problems" nicely. plus having him innocuously call people out when theyre being ambiguous is WAY funnier than "haha caboose doesnt know whats going on" imho

#anyway #i love these funky little guys #personally i hc caboose as having at LEAST autism + adhd #but tbh ill read anything about caboose as long as the writer treats him with more respect than the writers of rvb #which is NOT a high bar #rvb #rvb simmons #rvb caboose #the way ive been drafting this for like 3 days....#took me a while to get my thoughts in order for this one #biggie tumbles

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leporellian · 2 years ago

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leporello headcanons posting, again

he’s my funny little guy i’m rescuing him from a wet cardboard box in the rain and taking him in and affixing a little ribbon around his neck

“are these for the canon setting or for a modern au” If it fits a setting it applies

very sorry for this. btw

he’s actually an extrovert and likes being around other people, he’s just… socially inept enough (and also. anxious enough) that he doesn’t really seem the part. - he does love attention more than he admits. but he doesn’t really often get Positive attention which is the issue. - because he doesn’t actually really get positive attention he tends to speak quickly and trips over his words in an effort to get out his Point before someone else- usually the don- shuts him up.

he loves sorting things! you knew this already because it’s canon but god he loves to sort things. and Number them - he collected all sorts of weird things when he was a kid, and he loved labeling them and tracking them in his notebooks - everyone thought he was going to grow up to be an accountant, especially seeing as he is good at math, but then he decided to go into historical archiving and studying museum collections instead much to everyone’s chagrin

he does have an anxiety disorder but tbh it’s very hard to figure out where “symptoms of anxiety disorder” ends and “signs of abuse from the don” begins - although he does have a bit of a Realization of just how badly the don fucked him up when a few months after the don’s death he’s like Haha! Anxiety meds have started working again for me finally!… Wait a Minute - he also does tend to flinch a lot from physical contact when he’s living/working for the don and for some time afterward… which is quite sad considering i like to think he’s very much a physical affection enjoyer

after the don’s death he’s very afraid of fire. like to a sort of obsessive degree - for a while he doesn’t even allow like. lanterns or stoves to be on for more than absolutely life-or-death necessary - eventually he gets sort of “used” to it but it still scares him and he has trouble looking at fire directly. but he figures out how to manage w/ that

also. his relationship with the other characters after the don’s death - he and elvira are best friends natch. which is really funny bc otherwise they seem so different from one another and they have completely different friend groups outside of maybe one or two people. they’ve been mistaken for a couple while out in public together which they also find hilarious bc they both dress very obviously gay, elvira is into the whole punk butch style and leporello is a “wears floral pattern shirts he finds at charity thrift stores” homosexual - he doesn’t really keep contact w/ anna and ottavio and he figures there’s a good reason bc he can’t really think of a -reason- they would want to keep in contact with him. but at some point a year or two after everything Happens some other friend tells him “oh did you hesr anna ended up breaking up with ottavio the other week and came out as a lesbian like immediately after” and then, not too long later, spots some of anna’s things left over at elvira’s apartment and thinks… Hmmm. Well That’s Something - (when anna and elvira start dating he and anna do get along fine but he is always very awkward around her and neither of them really are even able to socially understand each other given they are very opposite. they’re cordial but they aren’t like… Friends outside of whenever elvira brings them both somewhere) - leporello more or less leaves zerlina and masetto out of things on the basis of them being like. teenagers while he is a grown ass man dealing with his grown ass man issues. but i can imagine that perhaps if they hadn’t met in the circumstances they did they would have gotten along with him. i imagine both masetto and leporello are autistic and lep would have loved being able to mentor a younger person in The Ways of Autism but given the amount of Things leporello is Going TF Through i don’t think he would have been particularly good at it. - he’s still scared of statues. perhaps even more than he is scared of fire. but every year or so he does go out and visit the commendatore’s grave. strangely it appears the statue only existed for that night it took the don to hell, as there’s no record of a statue being there before and there isn’t one there after, so it’s just. a regular if rather large grave. he talks to it- for a couple years after the don’s death it was “oh my god i’m a terrible person for (thing that leporello was being forced to do under the threat of death or worse) why didn’t you take me with the don” but eventually it becomes “god i’m so sorry about everything” and eventually after that it just becomes like. talking.

he talks to a lot of things really that aren’t living people. animals. inanimate objects. the dead. (although he doesn’t expect them to reply)

as said before multiple times i like to think he eventually becomes a couple with fiorello, the chronically-ignored servant from the barber of seville. he meets fiorello… a couple years after the don’s death i want to say, right when he’s really starting to heal and is emotionally stable enough to have a relationship that isn’t a Bad Idea - fiorello is just… he’s genuine, above everything else. which is what leporello likes most about him, he never has to decipher what it is fiorello wants or feels because fiorello is always very open about it. he isn’t a man without faults but he’s loving and eager about many things, and he’s always very patient with leporello. in many ways fiorello is exactly what the don was not - elvira initially really doesn’t trust fiorello out of hyper-cautiousness given leporello’s past. but then when lep introduces fiorello to her she’s like… oh this is just a sentient stuffed animal that knows how to gossip. you’re fine LOL

at some point, a few years down the line, leporello is about to fall asleep when he realizes. he has so many things that, when he was under the don’s abuse, he thought were impossible. he’s cared about. he has friends and a loving partner who are there for him. he has plenty of food and water, a job he loves (he’s a museum archivist), a quiet home and a stable routine to follow. and he’s safe. he can’t ever really even remember being this happy with life before, even if it’s considered unexciting and plain. idk. it’s sappy but… but it’s nice to think about.

finally. he would absolutely love watching jeopardy but by god he would be so terrible with the timing. could not win at jeopardy ON HIS LIIIIFE

#don giovanni #leporello #opera tag #rambles

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dykeyote · 2 years ago

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AUTISM N OCD JEDDIE HCS 👀 <- normal about him

YES YES YES YES YES I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD ASK ABOUT THOSE ..... >:))

okay starting with autism . there is NO WAY IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD that fucker doesnt have a special interest on video games theres just no way . i think hes had a spinterest on the medium broadly for SEVERAL years but it yas like . Subhyperfocuses on specific games and series which shifts a lot . for example it was skyrim in college and hes had an on again off again special interest on sonic for most of his life . also he has a special interest in math because i do too and i get to hashtag project

hes VERY much undiagnosed i think . i think he RELATES to a lot of the things sydney experiences and the autistic traits he has but because he doesnt relate to Everything both because autism demonstrates differently in everyone plus sydney has more immediate support needs as well as other disorders and disabilities he kinda is like . ok so im not autistic bc im not exactly like sydney . i think he has some internalized ableism to work thru

i think he stims by pacing his office a lot (: he also flutters his hands when hes nervous or excited and i think he finds clicking his tongue in time with the clocks in his office to be a relaxing stim for when hes upset. he also claps his hands when hes happy and rocks back and forth a lot ESPECIALLY when hes in an infodump

i think she scripts a good deal like she has Specific Phrases that she relies on for hard social interactions . a canon one being the phrase Untenable Circumstances . he doesnt script Whole Interactions but i think for stressful things or abrupt changes she has specific little scripts like for the opposite day ep scripting is a backup plan for him in times of distress

i think that understanding that shes autistic and undoing a lot of her internalized ableism actually helps her and sydney become a lot closer and have tehir relationship be a lot better (: they r autistic4autistic and it deepens their love for each other because of the way they understand each other on a deeper level <3 love wins

using discussing COMORBIDITY as a good segue between ocd and autism here . i think he is DEEPLY DEEPLY reliant on a routine she cant handle large changes theyre really upsetting for him they tend to lash out with frustration which they then feel badly about bc its not like hes actually Angry hes just panicking . this is another thing about the opposite day ep that was SOO autsim coded

okay so now ocd stuff IN PARTICULAR . i think a common loop he gets stuck in is just . staring at his clocks until it hits a SPECIFIC certain time like 11:11 or 12:24 or 10:01 or something like that and if he blinks when it hit that time he has to start over again with a NEW time on the dot . he gets stuck like that a lot ESPECIALLY when hes anxious a good bit of the time he spends locked in his office is just him staring at his clocks . tangentially i do think that her ocd gets SIGNIFICANTLY worse when she does her avoidant thing i think its a self feeding cycle where the mor she avoids the worse her symptoms are and vice versa . seek therapy miss martin <3

ALSO . THIS IS A THING THATS CONSISTENT IN HIS ARC ITS A MAJOR PART OF WHY HES MY BIGGEST OCD HC . HE HAS THE OCD GUILT . like he gets that feeling where you get so obsessed with ur own guilt that you engage in compulsions to ease it or obsessively resolve it somehow in ways that are totally unhelpful or Alternatively obsessively avoid it hes got that going on to EXTREME DEGREES and i think it would influence the way she acts in the show

i think sydney knows a lot of jedidiahs rituals and tries to make them a little easier on him . small things that he doesnt usually bring up to her but if shes staring at the clock he wont interrupt her until she finishes UNLESS shes been staring at the clocks for hours in which case hell try and distract her a little bit (:

i think she used to have a LOT of religious obsessions when he was younger but theyve gone away a bit now that hes less entrenched in christianity . like he strikes me as the type who used to have a lot of religious morality obsessions as a kid but as he grew up those morality obsessions sorta Changed Shape and became more along the lines of just plain guilt obsession like i mentioned about earlier

once more projecting my ocd obsessions . jeddy has a BIG fear of immobility she jerks her hands and her arms around sometimes just to check that he still can move about freely its a very big fear of hers . she has a har dtime falling asleep sometimes because she keeps doing liil checks that her bodys still moving . sydney snuggling with her is a good distraction and grounding though (:

SORRY I WENT ON A WHOLE RAMBLE . I AM INSANE ABOUT HIM

#i have sooo many thoughts #jedidiah martin

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unicornsvsglitter · 2 years ago

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Here’s my answers! I have adhd and autism.

1. What is your experience with your disorder?

- My experience with my disorders is… strange. While the two can be similar, in many ways there also opposite.

-On some occasions I’m so overstimulated that I can’t do anything but lay there because of my autism. Other times I’m so under-stimulated I’ll be playing a video game, having a snack, doing a craft and watching YouTube, but it still will feel like not enough is going on so I try to put on music only to realize that music and YouTube at the same time won’t work, because of my adhd.

- Since I don’t have a formal diagnosis, many neurotypical people who I’ve talked to just think I’m reading too much into things and that I’m looking for something to be “wrong” with me.

- On the other hand, people who are familiar with how adhd and autism typically present in afab individuals and those who are neurodivergent know from a ten minute conversation that I’m neurodivergent to some extent.

2. How is it for you?

- Overall, my adhd symptoms are more sever then my autism symptoms. I also have lower support needs then most autistics. While autism does make some aspects of my life more difficult, my adhd symptoms are far more intense then my autism symptoms.

- While I do have some sensory issues, for the most part they are easily manageable. For example, I always ask my coworkers to dishes because I don’t like how sponges feel of the feeling or running water. Similarly, I take baths instead of showers to avoid feeling that water hitting my skin in a way I don’t like.

- I have a hard time identifying stuff like tones and sarcasm. My (unintentional) way of coping with this is one of my best friends also has autism and adhd, while the other exaggerates everything to the point where he seems like he’s trying to act like a cartoon character. While this doesn’t solve everything, i don’t have to spend energy trying to decide what they’re really saying.

- On the other hand, since I’m unmedicated, many of my adhd symptoms are borderline debilitating and make it very hard to function a lot of the time.

- It sometimes goes 6+ months between having the motivation and energy to clean my room. I will lay in bed for hours thinking about how I need to, but can’t take that first step to making sure it gets clean. Even when I am able to, the motivation last 2-3 days max, which isn’t enough to do all the cleaning I need to.

- I get very intense hyper-fixations. I watched a 10 episode anime (japan sinks 2020 if your interested.) I watched it all in one day, then proceeded to invite my best friend over to watch it with me. I talked to anyone who would listen to me talk about it for the next few weeks, no matter how much they didn’t want to hear it. I started crocheting a main characters hat. I made playlist for each of the characters. There’s a scene called “rap about your feelings” and listing to that rap was the only thing that could get me to focus on for weeks. I looked through literally every tumblr post on the show. I read every article and fan theory I could get my hands on. I had homework to do, but couldn’t because all I could do is think about this show.

- while I’m not impulsive with my actions, I am very verbally impulsive. I find it very hard to play most play most party games because I can’t keep my mouth shut about what card I played, or what the proper answer is.

3. What are some examples of what you’ve felt with.

- A lot of my experience with both has to do with the fact that I’m not able to get a formal diagnosis for either, despite from a young age having lots of stereotypical (and less stereotypical) symptoms.

-For example, when I was in first grade we had a writing prompt where the class had to write about what they wouldn’t want to find in there lunch. Wile most students wrote about how they wouldn’t want a sandwich with crust or how they wouldn’t like to have applesauce because it’s gross, I misunderstood the assignment and wrote about how I didn’t want to find rat poop in my lunch. While every other student understood that it was something they wouldn’t want that there parents would pack them for lunch, I just thought about what would I be most upset to find, not realizing the other students did.

- In third grade I auditioned for my schools choir which was lead by the music teacher. I wasn’t let in because I was “too fidgety” even though my fidgeting never interfered with how class was conducted.

- I went to a middle school for smart kids. Is students had two main jokes about the school. 1- that it was where they put all the kids who were too much for other teachers to deal with and 2- that the students there were all geniuses who could barely tie our own shoes. In this school I had a teacher tell me “Katie, I never have any idea how you get to your answer, but I know it’s always gonna be correct.”

-Around fifth grade a new student joined my Sunday school class. She told me that she was autistic. I had no clue what that meant but I did know that we became fast friends because we acted very similar. I was thanked by random members of the congregation for being so nice to her by hanging out with her, but I wasn’t being friends with her to be nice, I was friends with her because we got along. I wasn’t doing for charity like people seemed to think.

- In seventh grade, a friend of a friend was talking about a tv show I didn’t watch called RWBY. He then told me I acted like the character Penny. I didint know who that was so I ask why I act like her and his response was “she’s a robot who says thinks like I’m a normal human meat person.”

- I have a running list of ways people have called me autistic, without saying I’m autistic, the most creative are

a. “You sound like young Sheldon”

b. “You’re like an vampire that doesn’t understand basic human emotions”

c. “You remind me of Mable pines”

4. How would you explain your disorder?

- Clinically, I’d describe my disorders as developmental delays that cause me to have issues with communication, motor skill, sensory inputs, and impulsiveness.

- Socially I’d describe my disorders as making it harder for me to understand the subtext as to what people are saying. They make it harder for me to focus on what someone is saying without fidgeting at the same time. I get very invested in one topic and will only want to talk about that one thing. They sometimes cause to to have get overwhelmed if a lot of people are taking at once or if the musics too loud. My disorders also make it hard for me to complete talks on time, but not due to laziness, but because I lack the get up ent go to do it.

5. Can I share your experience?

- absolutely! Feel free to use this information to your hearts content!

- I’m ok with being tagged in the content you make using this. I’m excited to see the final product!

- To me, a lot of the questions felt very similar, but I tried to answer them as close to the original question as possible. If I didn’t provide the type of answers you were looking for, lmk and I’ll try to give a more accurate answer. I also feel like I have a lot more to say on the topic of adhd and autism, so if you have any more questions or would just like me to elaborate on something, feel free to reach out!

HEY!! I have questions for people with HPD, NPD, ADHD, ADD, AUTSIM, BPD, DID and OSDD!!

1. What's your experience with your disorder(s)?

2. How is it for you?

3. What are some examples you have of what you deal with?

4. How would you explain your disorder(s)?

5. Am I allowed to use your experience(s) to write an informative post about said disorders on @wat-da-hell-iz separately? Anonymous or tagging you?

Please reblog as I want to have as many answers as possible from at least more than two people and myself.

Don't feel complied to answer either! Answer what you're comfortable with answering ^.^ (my pms are also open incase you don't want to reblog or send an ask with your answer(s)!)

#autistic adult #adhd #adhdlife #autistic spectrum #autism #autistic pride #undiagnosed adhd #undiagnosed autistic #my adhd #nerodivergent #nerodiversity #neurodivergencies

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outofangband · 3 years ago

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It's me again! I can't remember where I saw it now but you commented somewhere that you had some headcanons about Túrin and Morwen and autism. I'd be really interested to hear more about that if you feel comfortable sharing. Totally ok if not. And I hope I've remembered the comment correctly.

Gladly! @polutrope

I hope this answers your ask! Let me know if you have more questions!

This is just my interpretation of course!

Edit: never mind I’m actually objectively correct about this

Morwen is an important character to me for so many reasons. One of them is the ease at which I read her as autistic, as an autistic person myself.

Note: I actually have a post with my own personal headcanons planned and there is lots more in the character tag

Note: autism is a spectrum. Not in the way it’s often seen, as a spectrum of most autistic to least autistic but rather like a color wheel spectrum. There are a number of aspects and symptoms associated with autism and though I genuinely believe Morwen represents many aspects that are associated with autism, there are autistic people who show differing or even opposite aspects (for example while Morwen appears to have blunted emotional expression, there are autistic people who have exaggerated emotional expression)

Morwen and emotional expression: Morwen is not emotionally expressive. Unlike Húrin and their children who more openly weep and laugh and occasionally rage, she rarely cries and seems to be described as having something like flat or blunted affect. When Lalaith dies, when Húrin leaves for battle and when Túrin departs for Doriath, she does not express her grief and, in the first instance, is seemingly unable to respond to the grief of others. She is generally depicted as severe and stern.

It’s worth noting that Morwen is noted to laugh and cry exactly once each; she cries, seemingly from exhaustion/overwhelm when Thingol counsels her against seeking Túrin and she laughs when she tells Mablung that he will have to ‘endure’ her company sometime longer. This sort of inconsistent reaction is also something that can be associated with neurodivergence

Morwen and social rules/situations: Morwen does not seem to change the way she talks depending on who she's talking to and she seems to have difficulty with social and conversational cues and norms. The scene with Thingol and the exchange between her, Húrin, and Túrin about Sador are notable examples of this. (Also I love Húrin’s response in the latter example, how he calmly maintains that Túrin was kind to give his blade to Sador but without at all being condescending or criticizing to Morwen in front of Túrin)

Her language is described as forthright and literal and in at least one instance she asks that Húrin be more clear in his language ("what lies under your words"). She is also noted not to speak often.

Morwen digs her nails into the wood of the door until they bleed, seemingly without noticing or being deterred by it. There are a few other examples too of her seeming to ignore physical discomfort or risk to herself

Túrin is noted to be bewildered and made uneasy by his father's word play and figures of speech and this is said very soon after the author discusses how similar he is to Morwen, making me wonder if Morwen also has difficulty with non literal language.

Morwen is at times impulsive, reckless and extraordinarily single minded

Morwen being seen as elven: there is a long history of autistic people and especially autistic women and girls being seen as fae like, elfin, or witches. Even among those who love and respect her, Morwen is likened to an elf by way of her physical appearance and countenance. She is ostracized for this by the invaders in Hithlum who dehumanize her . I talk about this here and here (as most people can attest here I am rather obsessed with this part) Socially isolated or distant women have historically been persecuted for witchcraft after all

Basically, Morwen appears to exhibit flat or blunted affect, low empathy (not the same as compassion!), a strong preference for direct and literal language, rigid thinking and social difficulties, and difficulties with emotional expression, both her own and others. She is also described by other characters with language typical in certain time periods about autistic women. None of these on their own is necessarily indicative of anything but taken together and certainly from my perspective as an autistic person, I think this is a possible reading of her character.

Final note: Morwen suffered trauma and loss at a young age. She was twelve when she was forced to flee her home after Dagor Bragollach where she lost most of her family. I also strongly believe she was treated very badly in Brethil as a child. Some of the aspects of her character I mentioned before can definitely be affected or exacerbated by trauma. That being said I don't want to discount them because it is unclear how much of her character is formed by trauma and how much is just..her. Likely it is a combination. And autism and trauma are certainly not mutually exclusive. Autism will certainly impact how one processes and responds to trauma and autistic people, and autistic women specifically are at greater risk for certain kinds of trauma.

(I also have lots of headcanons that are more well, headcanons rather than just readings of the text if anyone is interested!)

Also not entirely related but I also headcanon Morwen as having nerve damage and mobility issues after Dagor Bragollach due to the injuries she received then

#Morwen #the children of húrin #The Silmarillion #musing and meta #can reblog #word ran among them

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luxlightly · 3 years ago

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I hate a lot of the needless differentiating between adhd and autism for a lot of reasons, obviously. I don't mean like "pointing out actual differences", I mean how autism will have a symptom or a trait and adhd will also have it but it's called something else, usually something more "clinical" sounding and people will bend over backwards to try to explain how it only possibly has to do with adhd and dopamine deficiency instead of, you know, being part of the neurotype. I digress.

It's especially bothersome, though, when a distinction is made that's actually useful to have, but not in the way it's being used.

I'm thinking of "hyperfixation" vs "special interest" specifically. "Hyperfixation" is essentially used as "just special interests but you're adhd" and as "the state of being so fixated on something, often a special interest, you can do and think of little else" (oversimplifying that second point but you know what I mean) which is annoying to me because 1: it pathologizes special interests in adhd people and 2: just defining it as the second point would actually be a very useful distinction to have for both autistic and adhd people, but instead is just used as another pointless "no no no they're *totally* different and not at all the same and caused by basically the opposite things and have nothing to do with each other" distinction.

It bothers me that "special interest" is seen as exclusive to autism and "hyperfixation" is exclusive to adhd because both of these groups experience both. I am autistic. I have special interests. I also hyperfixate on them and on other things at times. Adhd people have special interests. They hyperfixate on them and other things at times. But a special interest doesn't always have to exist in the state of hyperfixation and a state of hyperfixation doesn't have to be over a special interest.

I don't like the unspoken implications of it, either. That adhd people don't have things they enjoy and are uniquely special to them and they can fixate on, they only ever have chemical imbalances that force them to become hopelessly obsessed. There's no in-between and no difference between these things. And that bothers me.

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purple-demon-comics-47 · 4 years ago

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I got inspired to do an ADHD pride flag!

I based it on @arosnowflake's autistic flag because i really liked the design and the colors

ADHD is its own thing, even if a lot of times it is similar to autism too. It also has contradictory symptoms to itself, each person with ADHD experiences it differently from one another and even from day to day, so the flag's theme is uniqueness, similarities, solidarity and contradctions

I am both autistic and have ADHD, for me both these parts of me intersect, are their own thing but also complement eachpther and the differences between them can be so blurry between them that it's hard to say which is causing what, or things like that

So that's why i chose colors opposite and complementary to the autistic flag. It fits how unique but similar both experiences are. Like how purple and yellow are complementary, blue and red are opposites, how purple and blue are very similar to each other. And i just really love purple and blue

I also tried very hard to make it contrast enough but also to not be eye straining, i hope i did well on that!

Credit is appreciated if used!

#adhd #actually adhd #actuallyadhd #adhd flag #pride flag #flag coining #alec talks #alecs flags

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k-s-morgan · 4 years ago

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I get really disappointed when a large part of the fandom rejects that Will is on the spectrum. Actually it is a form of internalised ableism and these fans aren't even aware they are doing it. Many people on the spectrum function ok, can't tell them apart unless very specialized tests (like FBI screening), they can make eye contacts when required and can communicate if required. When people reject it like this it becomes an issue to diagnose a real case. We don't have many representations.

Anon, I’m sorry, but I’m the wrong blog for this ask because I also don’t think Will is on the spectrum! The best I can do is concede that it is up to interpretation, like Bryan Fuller said. Please skip the rest if you aren’t interested in my view of it.

I don’t always agree with Hugh Dancy, but I share his opinion that Will contributed to the wrong perception of himself in the minds of other people as a part of his person-suit. He was hiding his darkness by putting on different masks, letting people speculate and believe what they prefer. We largely hear about Will being on the spectrum only in the following scene.

Jack: I understand it’s not easy for you to be sociable ... Where do you fall on the spectrum?

Will: My horse is hitched to a post closer to Aspergers and Autistics than narcissists and sociopaths.

Will’s words choice is very careful here. It is Jack who makes the assumption about the spectrum, Will just vaguely goes along with it without saying anything specific. We know he has darkness, and not just a righteous kind. So it can be said that he is closer to “narcissists and sociopaths”, who in this context mean killers. But of course, he would be unwilling to admit it - Will has been hiding the truth for a long time. Jack treats Will like he’s vulnerable, and Will goes along with it, too, even though he clearly finds it annoying. This is echoed in later discussion between Hannibal and Will, when Hannibal says that Jack views Will as a fragile tea cup and Will laughs. Later, when Will is a little closer to accepting himself and taking his person suit off, Jack makes another remark about his “brokeness” and Will allows himself to be sarcastic and rude in response. We can slowly see the parts of his mask, which was created by people who surround and misunderstand him, falling apart, revealing someone dark, confident, and cold.

In the same discussion with Jack, this happens.

Jack: But you can empathize with narcissists and sociopaths.

Will: I can empathize with anybody. Less to do with personality disorders than an active imagination.

But does Will’s gift really apply to everyone? Because we never see it. From what is shown, he can only use his super-empathy (which differs from normal empathy) on murder scenes. But when Jack suggests this, Will denies it by claiming that he can empathize with everyone. Can he really - or is he lying because if he admits that he can only really empathize with killers, it could give people a clue about what he is? His half-truths create a fog that blurs clarity and births several interpretations.

A similar talk happens here:

Jack: You make jumps you can't explain.

Will: No, the evidence explains!

We know the evidence doesn't explain his leaps, so it also can be seen as a part of his suit. Will really doesn’t want to be seen as someone who has such an intense affinity with darkness.

There is no consistency in what could be classified as symptoms: Will himself chooses what to show to which person, and the more he accepts his darkness, the more his quirks disappear, revealing a person who we’ve been getting glimpses of from the start of the show.

With controversial things like this, when it’s not clear what’s a lie and what’s the truth, I look at discussions between the characters who are unlikely to lie to each other. Neither Will’s autism nor his gift as applicable to everyone are discussed between Will and Hannibal or Hannibal and Bedelia. On the contrary, in related conversations, they reveal the opposite truth.

I side with Bedelia and Chilton on this issue, even though they aren’t aware of the entire situation when they speak, because I think they unwillingly uncovered the truth.

Jack: I don't know how to help Will. I worry that he's a psychopath. And I worry that he isn't.

Bedelia: Psychopaths are narcissists. And narcissists often masquerade as sensitive introverts.

Obviously, Will is not a psychopath, but he has some vivid narcissistic qualities, so the overall message fits him.

Then there is Chilton.

Chilton: Will Graham manifests publicly as an introverted personality. He would have us believe he places on the spectrum somewhere near Asperger's and autism. Yet, he also claims an empathy disorder. Will Graham has never been diagnosed. He won't allow anyone to test him. He has carefully constructed a persona to hide his real nature from the world. He wears it so well, even Jack Crawford couldn't see past it.

While he made conclusions about Will on the wrong basis, they are still pretty much correct. This is how I see Will, too, and I think the evidence from the show supports this view a lot. Will constructed a persona, knowing people would attribute his quirks to autism and empathy disorder and subtly fuelling this vision, and all this went away when he accepted who he is.

This is how I see it.

#hannibal #will graham #meta

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