#a complicated issue to begin with
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they literally whitewashed Elma...
#like ik they already did with official art and as a blade in xc2#but seeing the shot by shot comparison is really something#and i guess with the way she transforms into a white woman alien at the end (spoilers lol) its kind of#a complicated issue to begin with#but her appearance is supposed to be in reference to chaos from xenosaga#who would i guess technically be a palestinian jew#by modern definition at least#xenoblade#xcx#shiv.txt
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they deserved better idc 😐
#it was so cool seeing the sign language and isha being mute was never something that needed fixing#she found a home and jinx found a reason to live#i know people are saying jinx survived because of the scene with Caitlyn but like...#why would jinx do that? she wanted to die this whole season she wanted to die at the beginning of the episode & that depression never faded#her escaping through the air vents implies a will to live#something jinx did not have#i thought it felt like the ending of ep 7 in the season one#trying to kill herself with ekko cause she didnt want to die alone. she had warwick when she pulled out & detonated one of her monkey bombs#like I'd love it if she was alive and left cause yea fuck Piltover get outta there honey!#and Isha's sacrifice meant nothing. she's just not mentioned at all we didnt even see Sevika's reaction to her death...#not dc#arcane#arcane spoilers#jinx arcane#isha arcane#tw suicide mention#the ending with Caitlyn felt like another moment of her and Vi having no idea the severity of Jinx's mental health issues#vi was upset she didnt wanna fight and go make change and shit and never mentioned the ''my sister wants to kill herself''#as if jinx wasn't in a depressive state every time we saw her in that cell.#and her removing herself from the equation so the others can be happy is ??????#so i guess she was a jinx to her family??? that she was the problem? its a frankly gross message to send with a suicidal character#that yes actually your loved ones will be better off without you in the picture you complicate things
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one day ima write some long winded analysis thing about how i think 2012 has an abusive family dynamic going on and its the best part of the show and im either gonna be paraded like a hero or fucking cancelled
#the issue is always how to frame the argument. starting at the beginning of the timeline or the beginning of the show?#and it would need to be long and carefully worded because i really dont want to make anyone misunderstand what im talking about#by thinking im shitting on the show cuz i do like the show! i just like that its complicated#and people can get very protective of that show which i understand but also i want to engage with it where its at#which is to say the characters and their relationships are very complex and interesting to talk about#but again. this would be hard to write
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Ink October day twenty-five: Contexture
The act of weaving or assembling parts into a whole.
An arrangement of interconnected parts; a structure.
The arrangement and union of the constituent parts of a thing; a weaving together of parts; structural character of a thing; system; constitution; texture.
#will I ever be normal about them? no. fuck you.#kh xion#kh roxas#kh sora#xion kh#roxas kh#sora kh#roxas#Xion#kingdom hearts xion#xion kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts sora#sora kingdom hearts#roxas kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts roxas#kingdom hearts#kh#blue boi draws#ink october 2023#ink October 2023 day 25#thinking about how Xion isn’t just Sora’s replica but Roxas’ as well. girlie has more identity issues then you can shake a stick at#she fights like Roxas she fights like Sora she might even like fighting but she was made for it after all#does the weopon like violence because it enjoys it or because it is a weopon to begin with#I’d say Sora to a certain extent enjoys fighting (see: the colosseum and the play fighting during childhood) I think he likes fighting peop#and likes fighting with people when the stakes aren’t too high. it’s fun. on the other hand I think the closest thing to fighting Roxas#likes is struggle. maybe with some play wrestling or something. but if the person your hitting isn’t dropping colour balls he isn’t into it#it becomes at best a chore at worst something that would fuck with his trauma. he doesn’t wanna be a keyblade master he wants to be normal.#Xion on the other hand is much more complicated. I think she enjoys it (her choosing to train on their day off) but more in the way that#she finds it satisfying instead of fun. she likes Completing Tasks and Improving and things that when she focuses on past reveal she finds#uncomfortable. running out of space but Phemiec’s All I Want. ‘all I want is to know the wanting is my own’ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhgg
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sometimes I'm like "am I egotistical for wanting to push for transmasc rep and positive masculinity in fiction. am i egotistical for trying to push for more masculine representation in things like fairies. am i egotistical for having so many transmasc characters" but then I'm like well everyone's gotta contribute something right and if I don't do anything about these feelings I guess nobody fucking will so it HAS to be me or someone like me that cares. egotistical or not
#does this make any fucking sense LMAO#like if you dont do anything about the issues you notice than nobody will because they dont even notice the problem to begin with#and sure masculinity has dominated for centuries but i feel like transmasculinity is in a completely different ball park#like something something the male gaze DOMINATING the western movie scene. but gender is more complicated than sex#so the transmasc experience is completely different from a cis guys experience and its not something that ever gets represented#and i think its a valueble perspective to showcase because i think cis men could do well with realizing its okay for them to be vulnerable#like being raised female i wasnt ever told to man up like a cis man mightve been. so theyve got that complex there#and maybe seeing what masculinity COULD be outside of the fucked up society we live in. idk. trans experiences are valueable#to showcase and i think it would help everyone out looking at things differently#dont even get me started on how the tips for passing as a trans guy are 'dont show any emotion' are you fucking serious
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so i googled my current favourite play that i'm absolutely obsessed with and ended up on the english wikipedia site bc my browser is set to english and. it's so bad. the fucking plot overview leaves out basically everything that happens ever except for the end result. several key figures aren't even mentioned. "this guy dies for freedom" well, yes, but actually no, plus you're implying his sacrifice is actually worth it. that's not true. in some other section a dude is mentioned who claims this play is basically star wars. that someone familiar with the play but not star wars could look at a star wars poster and tell you which characters are narratively similar/equal to characters of the play. i am baffled. i have never, not once in my life, ever seen someone be so wrong. dude must have read an entirely different play. i'm tempted to dig up the english version and read it just to see how fucking wrong he is. he is *so* incredibly wrong. jesus fuck. how could you possibly say that
#like??? lets assume the protagonists are sorta equivalent#okay?? daddy issues ig? one of them is filled with hope and the other with despair and obsessive love based in stubbornness#one of them refuses to give up to save many and the other has given up many to pursue his hopeless love interest#(until the end at least. hes so fucked up and stupid <3)#and okay that unreachable love interest is shared BUT????#i cant even begin to describe how fucking different those situations are#also bc without an in depth explanation the play situation sounds so much worse than it is#then the protags bestie#in star wars we have han whos cool but he didnt mean to be there for the longest time. a smuggler etc#in the play we have this super righteous guy whom Nobody speaks ill of whos literally our protags only moral compass#well not the only. well. actually. currently yes he is thats accurate#i mean obviously theres differences already bc one is basically a space fairy tale and the others a tragedy but#the character constellations are NOT even remotely similar!!!#the motives are VERY different!! the way the characters think and feel and act are VERY different!!!#just bc theres a protag who has a bad father a best friend and a love interest he shouldn't be into does NOT mean ones based on the other#and even if dude refers to a different star wars movie THE SAME STILL APPLIES#ITS SO INCREDIBLY WRONG LITERALLY I CANNOT GET OVER THIS#not that the wikipedia plot overview is much better#yes youre TECHNICALLY right but YOU ARE IGNORING THE PLOT#YES THAT HAPPENS BUT ONLY AT THE VERY END BC OF THE PLOT THAT YOU DIDNT MENTION#YOURE IGNORING CHARACTERS INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT#(the women ofc. THEYRE IMPORTANT. yes they still play their restrictive af roles given the age of the play#BUT THEY STILL MATTER AND INFLUENCE THINGS???? let my girl fuck up so bad. let my other girl try so hard to do her best even as shes#powerless within the narrative and her fellow characters whims and moods and ploys)#and again! saying my guy dies for freedom is such a gross oversimplification#that scene is so intense and based in such complicated actions and intentions and feelings youre doing it a disservice#you can simplify it like that but ONLY IF YOU PROVIDE CONTEXT PLEASE#YOU CANT SAY 'THIS IS THE PLOT' AND THEN IGNORE THE ENTIRE PLOT#PLEASE THERE WASN'T A SINGLE MENTION OF LETTERS EVEN WTF ARE YOU DOING#WHOEVER WROTE THAT WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE DROP UR URL I JUST WANNA TALK
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Edward Woodward guest stars as Jack Liskard, Prime Minister of an unspecified African country and the target of multiple assassination attempts, in The Saint: The Persistent Patriots (5.15, ITC, 1967)
#fave spotting#edward woodward#callan#the saint#the persistent patriots#1967#david callan#classic tv#eddy is the named guest star for this episode but actually he wasn't really the household name he would become at this point#in fact this ep was the first Saint episode to air in the uk in 1967 on January 6th‚ setting off a banner year for Woodward that would#be the making of his career. he'd done a few guest spots (Sergeant Cork and Mogul among them) and yes he'd had some stage success#but 67 was his year; around the same time as this Saint appearance he could be seen on the BBC's celebrated drama strand Theatre 625 as the#lead in a multi episode adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's Sword of Honour‚ and almost exactly a month later he'd be making his first screen#appearance as Callan in the Armchair Theatre pilot A Magnum for Schneider‚ the beginning of tv immortality and bigger and better things for#the actor. here he's... well he's serious and he's sullen (two of Ed's strengths as an actor) in a role which.. is FINE on the surface but#absolutely begs some deeper questions. he's the prime minister of an unnamed African country‚ in London to negotiate the independence of#said country from the UK. it's.. a complicated issue (which this single Saint episode absolutely fails to address but I'd have been truly#astonished if it had). i mean yes we're all anti colonialism here of course (even if Simon does seem suspiciously morose about the prospect#of losing another colony in his opening voice over‚ he at least appears to be on Eddy's side through the episode) but there's a kind of#deafening silence throughout this ep: Ed is of course white. his various ministers and other government officials who oppose him are all#also white. the titular 'patriots' who oppose him and make attempts on his life and to prevent the process of independence are all white#the most obvious comparison to be drawn (and presumably the main inspiration for the character) is Rhodesian prime minister Ian Smith#who had led the white minority government of what is now Zimbabwe from 1964 and had been involved in similar negotiations with the british#government (that fell apart in late 65 as Smith's government announced Rhodesia's unilateral independence; the country then became an#unrecognised state subject to economic sanctions that lasted more than a decade). the thing is‚ Smith was a racist piece of shit; the whole#reason those negotiations broke down was because of his refusal to secure black representation in Rhodesia's governance#which makes the complete absence of any black characters in this episode a major red flag. but Ed's character isn't presented as the#villain of the piece; the episode is adamant that the work he's doing is selfless and for the betterment of his country‚ and it isn't as if#Smith was a particularly popular figure in the uk at this point for the ep makers to be painting a positive portrait of him. idk#it's messy. at best tone deaf and at worst.. well. i wish Ed had had a better ep to guest star in that's all im saying
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it’s an Anna/Dean fic if Anna is the little mermaid. it is NOT a destiel fic if Castiel is the little mermaid. to be clear.
#the Anna/Dean version is much more straightforwardly the story of the little mermaid with them in starring roles#and also sam and Lucifer shenanigans in the background#but the Castiel version is a lot more complicated. a lot more focused on the idea of love used as escapism.#castiel gets two legs to go meet his prince and waiting for their love story to begin. and it never does.#Aro!Dean in my little mermaid au? it’s more likely than you think#so Castiel is in an impossible situation but making the best of it. (he’ll be fine. Sam is busy melting Lucifer’s icy heart with shenanigans#u should know this is a Balthazar/Castiel story. to me. Balthazar won’t take legs but he will wait too close to the docks even knowing the#fishing nets might catch his tail every day waiting for Castiel to tell him he’s still safe and alive.#Michael starting as the king of mermaids. he had issues. Raphael starring as the one who gives Castiel the option to kill dean to come home.#not cruelly not maliciously. because they love Castiel. and he cannot come home otherwise. he will turn to sea foam. Raphael looks after#their mermaids.#also starting Gabriel as inexplicably able to walk on land and live in the sea in a plot relevant way
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finishing love between fairy and devil reminded that I had another c-drama (Love like the Galway) that I had paused watching and now that I resumed it, uhh I think I lost track of the ongoing plot and character motivations/backstories 😬
#click clack#resuming shows - hard mode.#I stopped watching at episode 32 and I forgot the main character entered the palace where everything got even more complicated#it’s one of those historical imperial court plots where you have to know every character scheming and/or otherwise#it wasn’t like that in the beginning the plot began at a smaller scale within family for the most part#I think I stopped because my viki subscription ran out#love like the galaxy#despite the title I watched it more for how family dynamics play out it’s just so interesting#the romance is not convincing yet i think it’s on purpose like a slow burn at best?#the main dude needs to convince me and the main character which is interesting to watch! like she just compared him to her mom which is…#oof she has mommy issues ala turning red & eeao#I’m scared my memories are mixing up some scenes and plots from nirvana in fire which was the last one I saw at the end of 2022#and phew I started that one yearsssss ago but paused watching until last year and had to rewatch the first 8 episodes again
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LMAO ACCURATE
Trinity thesis
#this is what I think anyways#dc#clark kent#superman#bruce wayne#batman#wonder woman#diana of themiscyra#diana prince#dc trinity#you could honestly argue that any of these apply to all of them but#I think they most strongly apply to these pairings#like Bruce is also pretty lonely but Diana and Clark’s detachment from their homes specifically#is a consistent weakness for them#kryptonite literally being the shattered remains of Clark’s world and any threats or changes to themyscira being what always gets#an emotional reaction out of Diana in fights… they both have homes they’re unable to return to#and Diana is also pretty bad at opening up to people but only because she isn’t aware she has any problems to begin with#Bruce and Clark at least somewhat know when they have an issue. and then tell nobody anyways#Diana and Bruce ohh their parallels make me crazy#their incredible devotion to being a protector that they get so absorbed in they can’t see themselves as anything outside of it?? crazy#I think Clark and Diana also have a shared complicated relationship to their public idolization but I couldn’t#fit that into a concise sentence#I care for them so deeply. None of them are well#sorry for changing the text on this three times#addition +#dc meme#alignment chart
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AAAAAAAAAAAAA MY MOM IS GOING TO HAVE A MINOR SURGERY AND BE SEDATED
#anyone else remember last year when my dad was sedated for something super minor and had two major strokes and died 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂#im going to fucking kill myself i’ve been triggered and panicky all day and feel like i cant Fucking Breathe#my dad did have several complicated serious health issues. which my mom doesnt#but oh my fucking god im going to throw up#genuinely cant even begin to explain the weird as reality check i had today about the fact that i only have one (1) parent#god i feel like screaming and crying#anyway its all gonna be fine im just uhhhhhh traumatized from when my dad died from fucking nothing#ill delete this in a bit i am Not doing well#hugs and kisses
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As much as I've been actively trying to develop stories and write in a bubble/approach many of the things I create with zero expectation of what the response might be (if I am happy with it, then it is a success), it's also very hard to balance wanting to have a little community where I can talk about things that I make with other people with the abject fear of having these things that I make and that are very close to me be viewed and witnessed by other people.
How many slices of yourself can you put into something before you feel anxious about it? New game to play with your friends.
#abyss.txt#thoughts about writing#currently trying to work out if i can work on the new version of undertow and coffin walking at the same time#i'm running into an issue with coffin walking where i'm worried that the beginning is too boring but i also know it's extremely important#to establish characters and their relationships before i get to the spooky shit so#undertow also morphed into something a little more complicated in the fact that it's now a mirrored duo narrative#i'm also in the process of doing developmental editing on fne since bestie told her whole family about it and now they want to read it#(fear)#help
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have a whole short story due tomorrow and i finished my outline yesterday......
#she even gave the whole class an extra week extension i hate myself#i just like. made it hard for myself and ran into an issue i run into with essays where. i know all the info i need to put in. but the#order i put it in greatly affects how it will be written and i cant know what order will work until i write it but i dont know how to write#it without knowing what order the info is in....so i spend so much time writing the beginning and then just an outline#and i went with a plot thats a bit complicated when it comes to that. so i finally know where im putting stuff but now as i'm writing it#that is. shifting but i did really need the outline bc my brain is a mess. and idk focus is so so hard i work in bursts i take all fucking#day to get only a little done and starting even is so hard.#anyway im writing it and i do not think my prose is good right now but what can i do lol i don't have time to write a full draft and rewrit#it better. which tbh is tough for me to do in general like we had to do a character bio setting study plot work assignment for it and im#finding it hard to translate what i wrote in that to prose that fits in a story idk.#i am going to be soooo stressed tonite.
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Ah fuck, I’ve been called out.
yeah bro it's a character study. the 2 thousand words of blowjob is vital to the study of the character
#that weird feeling of taking the lead because you have experience and they want you to#but while you want them to feel comfortable and stand out#you can’t help but feel like you’re doing something wrong with their innocence#but it’s that exact logic that made them so inexperienced to begin with#so how do you swallow your own issues of wanting to protect the person you love#and still look just as casual and comfortable as they asked about it#they don’t want to be sheltered and you respect that#but your feelings for them are so raw and complicated#that suddenly you’re the one delicate even though you’re there in control#a tightly coiled spring covered in faux padding and ego#and while what you two are doing is supposed to be casual#your shared vulnerability about handling this is causing you to develop feelings#you‘ve done this before countless times with countless people#so why is he the one that’s tripping you up#is it because you actually got to know him first#that this was someone you cared about first#friend or not#so if you fuck this up#you ruined the one good thing you actually had#and your friendship is so much more valuable than the sex#but you agreed to help him through this#this is your reputation#you’re known for sleeping around#no wonder he trusts you#but you’ve never felt so unsure about anything
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Tales of Suspense (1959) #77
#not Steve trying to say that the war isn’t ‘woman’s work’#genuinely really intrigued by ‘I haven’t the right to speak to you this way!’#which I’m assuming is because of how limited their relationship has been up to this point- they're not married#and then ‘I won’t let you do it!’#my impression of both Steve and Sharon in Captain America (2005) is that they were both really career-driven#and allowed that to take precedent over relationships#which in ways made them well-suited for each other and in others created difficulties#something that wasn’t addressed which was a disappointment to me#is whether or not Sharon wanted to get married and have children in the beginning#Steve explicitly wants that by the end of Brubaker’s run#compare that to the beginning of the series where his living situation is a compromise#because he likes having neighbors but it’s too dangerous so he lives in the city but in a building that’s been made to look abandoned#and therefore his presence in the area is minimal#and also Sharon visiting him because she’s concerned about him in the first issue is taken as an intrusion in his life#and compare all that to how Steve started out here with this mentality of ownership over the person you care about#it reads that the world of the future just made all that too complicated so he at that point had given up on it#and then we know exactly what Steve’s picturesque vision of the future is by the end#and it’s both traditional (emphasis on his and Sharon’s children being the future) and positive about change (sci-fi utopia)#and I suppose I just feel that Sharon’s perspective wasn’t as fleshed out so there’s less for me to work with#in finding that interesting throughline#like I’m confident that the Sharon of early Captain America (2005) wouldn’t care to be talked to this way#but I’m not sure what exactly she would have wanted outside of the specific unique circumstances of her relationship with Steve#post-Captain America (2005) with all her trauma and guilt over what happened to Steve#where she's become very devoted to him#marvel#steve rogers#peggy carter#my posts#comic panels
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Susannah: Yes. Yes, he did risk himself. We all did. A lot of it... OK, a bit half-assed but at least... some of it will stick! You have to try. It's not going to work any more, running for the same old burrows... we're rafting off into space - God! Frank sees it. He said to me one day, 'Suse... you know what's going to do for us all? Not the failure of intellect, moral, muscle - but the failure of imagination! They're all too busy with their snouts in the trough to smell the fire.'
Crystal: Yeah, he says some really daft things.
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Pam Gems, Loving Women (1984)
#100plays#pam gems#loving women#modern drama#theatre quotes#1984#Gems was known best for her adaptations of older works and for her biographical plays (including the phenomenally successful Piaf in 1978)#but she consistently produced original work too‚ tho with less commercial success. this comes from her middle period and is often described#as a comedy about a love triangle; which it is‚ really‚ but that somehow feels like a dismissive way to describe a play that can just as#often raise challenging questions about the nature of activism and social change‚ the complicated way that personal relationships and#polemical discourse can influence one another‚ and the inadequacy of passion alone (both in love and in politics) without a solid#foundation. neatly split into three sections at different points in the characters' lives‚ the first and third might more easily be#described as romantic comedy; the majority of the second scene‚ however‚ is a vicious argument between idealists at odds (or a#revolutionary and a lapsed revolutionary‚ maybe). our three characters are Frank‚ an activist social worker who has recently (at the#beginning of the play) suffered a nervous breakdown‚ his radical coworker and lover Susanne‚ and Crystal‚ the working class hairdresser who#has agreed to nurse Frank in return for a roof over her head. the first scene sets up the love triangle and suggests the disharmony to come#but it is the second scene‚ one year later (and with Frank having left Susanne for Crystal‚ apparently without even breaking up face to#face) (Susannah! sorry not sure why i keep writing Susanne); anyway this is the standout scene‚ a furious showdown between the newly#domesticated Frank and the woman he spurned. there is personal enmity on Susannah's part of course‚ as well as entirely reasonable#frustration at how Frank handled the affair‚ but the argument quickly becomes centred on issues of political dogma‚ his perceived betrayal#of 'the cause' (as well as her) and what he perceives as her naivety and tunnel vision in approaching the work they once shared#it is a shamelessly intellectual segment‚ full of angry‚ verbose tirades on the state of the nation and the futility or necessity of#radical action and subversive agitation‚ sparkling dialogue that demands to be spat with venom (and contrasted completely by a much gentler#meeting between the 2 characters a decade later in the final scene). part of Gem's beauty‚ tho‚ is that she never entirely loses the humour#of the piece‚ allowing for amusing asides like the one above (Crystal enters and leaves several times throughout the argument‚ clearly#uncomfortable with the situation). on the surface it might seem like Crystal is a mildly patronising character‚ unable to keep up with the#idealogical slant of the conversation‚ but as Frank makes clear‚ in many ways she's the most real of the three of them; not having the#privileged middle class background of the others‚ her seeming disinterest in revolution is borne of necessity‚ the necessity of first#staying alive (ie. feeding herself‚ finding a roof to sleep under‚ etc) leaving her little time to engage in the largely theoretical#grandstanding of the two socialists she's fallen in with.
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