lordofstingrays

[lordofstingrays]

Developing this idea further...

Kids (and parents) complain frequently about dinosaurs being in single-species enclosures, despite the staff explaining 1, it's safer, and 2, they don't want hybridization of similar species (which guests also complain about the lack of hybrid dinosaurs)

"Why is there a liability waiver? I'm just volunteering for maintenance." Staff explain to the volunteer, dinosaurs are loud. Extremely loud. The zoo is not responsible for hearing injury or loss from crew members not wearing ear protection. *The designated areas where you absolutely need hearing protection are the hadrosaurs and Large Theropods.

Disappointed guests who went to the freshwater area and saw the Pannoniasaurus. They think they were ripped off because they expected the Jurassic World Mosasaurs.

But despite all the Karens and the Parents Whose Kids Know All the Dinosaurs, the crew members love their job. The zoo's Instagram often has pictures of the Mononykus facing the camera, "menus" for what they're giving the prosauropods, and videos of the Microraptor talking.

His name is Robert and he's essentially a crow with teeth :>

Be aware, these are late-night musings of the paleontologist variety...

Consider: Jurassic Park rewrite where better decisions are made and things don't go horribly wrong. Instead, we follow the comedic antics amongst the staff and guests.

Kids going "Look a pterodactyl" at every flying reptile, including ones that are clearly NOT Pterodactylus, like Nyctosaurus and Tapejara

*guests looking at dinosaurs* "Wow, this must be an archeologist's dream!" *every nearby staff member takes psychic damage*

"Ma'am, for the last time, do NOT let your kids touch the Ordovician animals!"

Geologist: I'm sorry, sir, but these are just limestone rocks, not dinosaur bones. Sometimes limestone can weather into strange shapes but-- *sigh* okay, I'll get my manager...

Kid: It says 'Adult Velociraptor' but why are the raptors so small and why do they have feathers and why do they sound like birds and where's Blue

And much, much more internal screaming on the part of the staff

In fact, it would most likely be a customer service comedy. From experience at a natural history museum, I've seen a lot... Please, please remember that there's not dinosaur fossils in rocks older or younger than the Mesozoic, and that ducklings do not become petrified. Why do I say that, you ask? Um...

I... I don't want to talk about it...

[lordofstingrays]

My brain: what is he doing

My stomach: I dunno man, he's not paying attention to me anymore...

My kidneys: .......... help.......... can't... function.....

My circulatory system: guys shut up before I completely stop moving!

The rest of my internal structures: *unresponsive*

Me, holding my nineteenth energy drink because caffeine does almost nothing to me: The existence of shower thoughts and their potency, implies that either the shower itself is a portal of transcendence, or that clothing truly limits the human mind... or perhaps both are true...

[lordofstingrays]

You're listening to... *rumbling of a landslide*

66.5 my friends: GEOLOGIST RADIO *explosion*

Where we play nothing but the best rock...

"You're wasting time always searching for those Wasted Years-"

Heavy metal...

"I close my eyes, Inis Mona-"

And hidden gems...

"And when our work is done, there's only one question I have for you-"

*another explosion* This is not your quartz-loving mother's station *glass shattering*

And now......... here's "Man With a Plan" by Korpiklaani

[lordofstingrays]

Be aware, these are late-night musings of the paleontologist variety...

Consider: Jurassic Park rewrite where better decisions are made and things don't go horribly wrong. Instead, we follow the comedic antics amongst the staff and guests.

Kids going "Look a pterodactyl" at every flying reptile, including ones that are clearly NOT Pterodactylus, like Nyctosaurus and Tapejara

*guests looking at dinosaurs* "Wow, this must be an archeologist's dream!" *every nearby staff member takes psychic damage*

"Ma'am, for the last time, do NOT let your kids touch the Ordovician animals!"

Geologist: I'm sorry, sir, but these are just limestone rocks, not dinosaur bones. Sometimes limestone can weather into strange shapes but-- *sigh* okay, I'll get my manager...

Kid: It says 'Adult Velociraptor' but why are the raptors so small and why do they have feathers and why do they sound like birds and where's Blue

And much, much more internal screaming on the part of the staff

In fact, it would most likely be a customer service comedy. From experience at a natural history museum, I've seen a lot... Please, please remember that there's not dinosaur fossils in rocks older or younger than the Mesozoic, and that ducklings do not become petrified. Why do I say that, you ask? Um...

I... I don't want to talk about it...

[lordofstingrays]

I miss my birdie. Pearl, my cockatiel, passed away Sunday. My parents and I came home from a vacation, and... found her. We buried her Monday. Today was really hard.

We're really hurting right now. I'm sorry Pearl, I didn't get to say goodbye. I could have been better for you. You were so young. I'll see you someday.