#a bit of depression
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temple at the end of the road
#artists on tumblr#i'm surprisingly okay with saying goodbye to summer this year#never had anything against autumn but i hate winter#but now i'm a little bit even looking forward to it?#maybe my mood is just better#hopefully the seasonal depression doesn't get a hold of me to change that#for now i'm very happy with hot soups and warm blankets
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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i'm ready to try
#This drawing is kind of personal to me#I recently graduated (CUM LAUDE WOOOO!!!!) and its like. not to get depressing#but when i was younger i was never sure whether i would make it to this point#When i was going through what i consider to still be like. the worst time of my entire life#This fictional character was there for me and she was something for me to latch onto and cope with#eGem helped me a lot with being able to process my emotions at the time but also helped me to reflect on myself#which i think is a big reason as to why I'm really happy with where i am with myself right now#I'm going off to uni next school year to study astronomy!!! which!!!#Im also doing because of eGem!!! She ignited this kind of childlike wonder for space for me#I love doing math and physics and whilst Im still a bit scared because. honestly i don't know whether this is what i want to do with my lif#I think i'll be okay either way#either way i wanted to draw egem again even if i haven't done so in a while because its like#i think i wouldnt be who i am without her. i think i'd be a lot worse off#so like. thank you empires smp thank you geminitay thank you egem This drawing is me expressing my gratitude#AND THANK YOU AUTISM!#empires smp#empires smp s1#empiresblr#esmp#geminitay#art#fanart#alice.art#mcyt#mcytblr#song is andromeda by weyes blood... obv.. you guys know me by now :oP
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a (little) liverpepper sora comic, for rainy-sunshine days ☔️💛
#kh#liverpepper#sora#roxas#i always meant to expand on sora's night terrors/depression a lot more while i was active#but i'm happy (and hoping) to still be able to do it in bits and pieces if youre still interested!#anyway i had a blast drawing this#i love the twins being SO close and having so much love for each other.... ANGELS#thank you everyone i hope you all enjoy!#let me know what you think!!!! ♥️#liverpep fam
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the way all those viral “im just a girl” TikToks ignore the “take this pink ribbon off my eyes” “this world is forcing me to hold your hand” “so don’t let me have any rights” is fascinating to me. just unabashedly ignoring the song to make a video about like, buying too much makeup or your boyfriend having to order food for you
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^^ infectious
#i now desire to read sickfics#this is an old sketch that i colored cuz i was dying to feel productive#depression and executive dysfunction are joining forces against me#i fight back by finishing something fast so i can feel accomplished for a bit#then maybe i can work on the bigger pieces/comics i want to get through#or maybe *gasp* work on a FIC#wouldn't that be crazy#atla#zuko
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A quick 'how's it going' update, maybe? Since I haven't been posting much lately.
Things aren't great, I've been going through very challenging times. My physical health and finances collapsed simultaneously and without a warning at the end if August and I've been stuck in increasingly dire survival mode since. I've used up all my savings. I had been doing so much better all of 2023 but now my depression has worsened again steeply, partly due to the aforementioned stressors no doubt. It's such a bitter pill to swallow to notice I'm sliding back to the position where every day is another struggle to simply continue existing, and I have no energy left for anything besides the most basic life preserving routines. I'm taking one day at the time, trying to keep engaging with things that I normally enjoy to hopefully help me climb out of the tar pit, but I don't know. My old computer is dying, it keeps shutting itself off sporadically so drawing has become a nerve-racking experience. Feels bad. It's like the world is dimming and growing cold, and I feel helpless to reverse this course.
I hope you're doing better than I am. Things are pretty rotten across the board right now, it seems. Stay safe.
#cw depression#a bit more personal post#you don't have to pay attention to this I'm just thinking out loud#mostly just whining
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"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless, and they don't want anyone else to feel like that."
This quote from Robin Williams has always stuck with me.
There's a reason I mostly make cute, wholesome art, even when things are dark and I'm crumbling inside. Its because I love making you all smile. And I hope you never have to feel as sad as I do.
#im having a rough day and decided to illustrate one of my fav celebrity quotes#helps to fight off the loneliness and depression a bit#genie youre free#genie#aladdin#disney#digital#artists of tumblr#illustration#art#character design#painting#robin williams
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ohhhhhh ghostlight loop we’re really in it now
FANART FOR @ghostlightfic GO READ GHOSTLIGHT NEOW!!!!!! i’m so so normal about this fic i prommy. anyways!!!! greyscale version + some design notes below! because i’m very normal about character design 😊
ok design notes time!!
for once i actually am normal about colors here. this is just colorpicked from my normal loop design! which is in turn colorpicked from siffrin’s design. not much to say here!
i generally tried to make them more angular compared to sif? their hair is a lot spikier, the silhouette of their sweater is more pointed, just Sharper shapes all around. idk. hard to put into words
hoping the glowy hair comes across well here. i also tried to make their hair look a bit less messy, since they actually take care of their hair! no flyaways here.
ahhhhhh i Had to make the sweater Fucking Massive i can’t reject my nature. i wanted to have the vague silhouette of the cloak while still keeping it it’s own thing?? i feel like sif could have something like this somewhere. idk. i tried to make it look a bit weathered, since it’s a hand-me-down from sif and that bastard does not take good care of his clothes.
don’t. ask me whether they’re wearing shoes or not. my normal loop design has Built In Heels but you can draw your own conclusions.
not a design note but for some reason i kept forgetting whether or not loop had a scar???? i literally had their description in the fic open as a reference and i STILL kept forgetting to draw it. i’m so so good at remembering things
anyways!!!!!!! go read ghostlight!!!!! it’s really good go read it. anyways. greyscale version as promised 🩶
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#isat ghostlight#ghostlight fanart#im soo fucking normal about ghostlight guys 🩶#this is the first time i’ve drawn loop digitally in. A While#their spiky face is hard to draw smh. the way i draw their eyes has changed a bit too but whatever#i was going to draw the dress here but i just Could Not draw poses to save my life yesterday#so you guys only get to see the depression fit. sad!#ghostlight
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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This was an inevitable joke
#Alaros#dragon#blue dragon#bart the bard#Bartemus Bagiery#sidhe fae#unseelie fae#look a bard seducing a dragon joke was going to happen one way or another#it just so happens that this dragon is over him and already in a committed relationship#fun fact#Alaros bit off Bart's tail#but bart doesnt hold any grudges against the old boy#it was his fault anyways for waking up the big guy in the middle of a depression nap#tales of alor#tablet doodle
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Definition of ‘power couple’
I feel bad for drawing the younger version of her because she feels so much more badass when she’s old [and that’s how we actually see her obviously] but I just wanted to draw them together, I hope ya like it !!
Also I’m obsessed with designing a whole wardrobe for them, I have SO MANY outfits for her, it’s fucking crazy,,,
#team fortress 2#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 demoman#tf2 demoman's parents#their left arms look as if they kinda disappear but I promise they're there. it makes sense#this was a bit delayed because my seasonal depression is starting waaa boo hoo
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Blood on your hands.
Idea was made by @baylardo. She provided a little scribble and I messed with it.
#the spiral in the episode night I guess#there arent many characters out there that show true reclusion and depression feedback loops#she cant control people's fates :(#kathryn janeway#im not too happy with this but its just a quick little bit of practice lol#a mashup of my style with baylardo's#burple skivvy my beloved#startrek voyager#st:voy#captain janeway#janeway#art#my art#when ur on ur period (promised i would put that in the tags)#ummm yeah funny cos i feel a little neg about my art and stuff in my life right now IRONIC#i resent that i have to keep up art inbetween other art otherwise my skill rapidly degenerates sad!!!!#star trek voyager
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So what you’re saying is.. I’m not good enough to wake up next to every morning.. cool got it bruh 😭
#happy for a bit but than it wears off#never enough#unwanted#trans#transgender#trans pride#transisbeautiful#mtf#transgirl#girlslikeus#mtf hrt#maletofemale#transformation#this is depressing#life is depressing#trans woman#trans women#trans women are beautiful#transexual#transition#this is what trans looks like#mtf trans#trans community#trans feminine#trans experience#actually trans#trans is beautiful#trans is sexy#trans mtf#trans positivity
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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The Favourite (teaser)
Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x brothel employee!reader
Warnings: angst, mommy issues, mentions of SA, smut, reader is a bit older than Aemond, emotions?
Long Synopsis: On his thirteenth nameday, Aegon brings his little brother to the brothel, thinking it’s time for Aemond to become a man. He pays more than he usually does his whores to have the best one, Madame Sylvi no less. She serves young Prince Aemond as a Prince deserves, showing her well-crafted skills. When she leaves the room, the young boy feels like retching on the floor.
He’s unaware that someone is watching, has been watching all along. Because Madame has bought another girl and she has no time to teach her all the tricks. So, she tells her to watch and learn through a peephole, special feature of all the brothels. And she watches, feeling her skin crawl, but she doesn’t stay there. She gets closer, unexpectedly closer, more than anyone has dared or cared enough to.
A week later, he returns to the brothel and asks for her. He will for all the times to come, while he grows into a man. And the whores and the customers begin to whisper, to question, to guess, because there’s only a curtain separating the Prince and the woman from the hall, but above the music they hear no moans, lewd cries or sounds of flesh against flesh coming from there.
Occasionally, they only see a glass of milk being brought in. Sometimes, they steal a furtive look inside and see the Prince lying in her lap, both of them sprawled on soft cushions, candles all around. Sometimes, she takes him to her private room upstairs, holding his hand as they walk through the crowd, all dazed and whispering. They call her The Favourite.
#ehehe#this will be a bit depressing tbh#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x reader#aemond targaryen fic#aemond x reader#aemond x you#aemond targaryen x female reader#aemond targaryen smut#aemond fic#liv(in la vida loca)#aemond x fem!reader#aemond targaryen x fem!reader#aemond smut
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