#a baffling oversight

[mybrainproblems]

There's really something just a little bit Wrong about Jeremy Carver

[topoillogical]

Sorry to derail but I simply must say: HOW could ANYONE make the BAFFLING word choice of saying it was "genuinely a con" instead of "genuinely a scam"

In this context, "genuinely a con" means that it was GOOD and lived up to EXPECTATIONS. why would you say something that could be mistaken for you saying "Genuinely a good convention..."

Britain is already one-upping the Wonka scam by making the LEGO Dashcon ballpit real

an extra hour in the brick pit

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Amazon illegally interferes with an historic UK warehouse election

I'm in to TARTU, ESTONIA! Overcoming the Enshittocene (Monday, May 8, 6PM, Prima Vista Literary Festival keynote, University of Tartu Library, Struwe 1). AI, copyright and creative workers' labor rights (May 10, 8AM: Science Fiction Research Association talk, Institute of Foreign Languages and Cultures building, Lossi 3, lobby). A talk for hackers on seizing the means of computation (May 10, 3PM, University of Tartu Delta Centre, Narva 18, room 1037).

Amazon is very good at everything it does, including being very bad at the things it doesn't want to do. Take signing up for Prime: nothing could be simpler. The company has built a greased slide from Prime-curiosity to Prime-confirmed that is the envy of every UX designer.

But unsubscribing from Prime? That's a fucking nightmare. Somehow the company that can easily figure out how to sign up for a service is totally baffled when it comes to making it just as easy to leave. Now, there's two possibilities here: either Amazon's UX competence is a kind of erratic freak tide that sweeps in at unpredictable intervals and hits these unbelievable high-water marks, or the company just doesn't want to let you leave.

To investigate this question, let's consider a parallel: Black Flag's Roach Motel. This is an icon of American design, a little brown cardboard box that is saturated in irresistibly delicious (to cockroaches, at least) pheromones. These powerful scents make it admirably easy for all the roaches in your home to locate your Roach Motel and enter it.

But the interior of the Roach Motel is also coated in a sticky glue. Once roaches enter the motel, their legs and bodies brush up against this glue and become hopeless mired in it. A roach can't leave – not without tearing off its own legs.

It's possible that Black Flag made a mistake here. Maybe they wanted to make it just as easy for a roach to leave as it is to enter. If that seems improbable to you, well, you're right. We don't even have to speculate, we can just refer to Black Flag's slogan for Roach Motel: "Roaches check in, but they don't check out."

It's intentional, and we know that because they told us so.

Back to Amazon and Prime. Was it some oversight that cause the company make it so marvelously painless to sign up for Prime, but such a titanic pain in the ass to leave? Again, no speculation is required, because Amazon's executives exchanged a mountain of internal memos in which this is identified as a deliberate strategy, by which they deliberately chose to trick people into signing up for Prime and then hid the means of leaving Prime. Prime is a Roach Motel: users check in, but they don't check out:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/03/big-tech-cant-stop-telling-on-itself/

When it benefits Amazon, they are obsessive – "relentless" (Bezos's original for the company) – about user friendliness. They value ease of use so highly that they even patented "one click checkout" – the incredibly obvious idea that a company that stores your shipping address and credit card could let you buy something with a single click:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1-Click#Patent

But when it benefits Amazon to place obstacles in our way, they are even more relentless in inventing new forms of fuckery, spiteful little landmines they strew in our path. Just look at how Amazon deals with unionization efforts in its warehouses.

Amazon's relentless union-busting spans a wide diversity of tactics. On the one hand, they cook up media narratives to smear organizers, invoking racist dog-whistles to discredit workers who want a better deal:

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/apr/02/amazon-chris-smalls-smart-articulate-leaked-memo

On the other hand, they collude with federal agencies to make workers afraid that their secret ballots will be visible to their bosses, exposing them to retaliation:

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/amazon-violated-labor-law-alabama-union-election-labor-official-finds-rcna1582

They hold Cultural Revolution-style forced indoctrination meetings where they illegally threaten workers with punishment for voting in favor of their union:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/31/business/economy/amazon-union-staten-island-nlrb.html

And they fire Amazon tech workers who express solidarity with warehouse workers:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/amazon-fires-tech-employees-workers-criticism-warehouse-climate-policies/

But all this is high-touch, labor-intensive fuckery. Amazon, as we know, loves automation, and so it automates much of its union-busting: for example, it created an employee chat app that refused to deliver any message containing words like "fairness" or "grievance":

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/05/doubleplusrelentless/#quackspeak

Amazon also invents implausible corporate fictions that allow it to terminate entire sections of its workforce for trying to unionize, by maintaining the tormented pretense that these workers, who wear Amazon uniforms, drive Amazon trucks, deliver Amazon packages, and are tracked by Amazon down to the movements of their eyeballs, are, in fact, not Amazon employees:

https://www.wired.com/story/his-drivers-unionized-then-amazon-tried-to-terminate-his-contract/

These workers have plenty of cause to want to unionize. Amazon warehouses are sources of grueling torment. Take "megacycling," a ten-hour shift that runs from 1:20AM to 11:50AM that workers are plunged into without warning or the right to refuse. This isn't just a night shift – it's a night shift that makes it impossible to care for your children or maintain any kind of normal life.

Then there's Jeff Bezos's war on his workers' kidneys. Amazon warehouse workers and drivers notoriously have to pee in bottles, because they are monitored by algorithms that dock their pay for taking bathroom breaks. The road to Amazon's warehouse in Coventry, England is littered with sealed bottles of driver piss, defenestrated by drivers before they reach the depot inspection site.

There's so much piss on the side of the Coventry road that the prankster Oobah Butler was able to collect it, decant it into bottles, and market it on Amazon as an energy beverage called "Bitter Lemon Release Energy," where it briefly became Amazon's bestselling energy drink:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/20/release-energy/#the-bitterest-lemon

(Butler promises that he didn't actually ship any bottled piss to people who weren't in on the gag – but let's just pause here and note how weird it is that a guy who hates our kidneys as much as Jeff Bezos built and flies a penis-shaped rocket.)

Butler also secretly joined the surge of 1,000 workers that Amazon hired for the Coventry warehouse in advance of a union vote, with the hope of diluting the yes side of that vote and forestall the union. Amazon displayed more of its famously selective competence here, spotting Butler and firing him in short order, while totally failing to notice that he was marketing bottles of driver piss as a bitter lemon drink on Amazon's retail platform.

After a long fight, Amazon's Coventry workers are finally getting their union vote, thanks to the GMB union's hard fought battle at the Central Arbitration Committee:

https://www.foxglove.org.uk/2024/04/26/amazon-warehouse-workers-in-coventry-will-vote-on-trade-union-recognition/

And right on schedule, Amazon has once again discovered its incredible facility for ease-of-use. The company has blanketed its shop floor with radioactively illegal "one click to quit the union" QR codes. When a worker aims their phones at the code and clicks the link, the system auto-generates a letter resigning the worker from their union.

As noted, this is totally illegal. English law bans employers from "making an offer to an employee for the sole or main purpose of inducing workers not to be members of an independent trade union, take part in its activities, or make use of its services."

Now, legal or not, this may strike you as a benign intervention on Amazon's part. Why shouldn't it be easy for workers to choose how they are represented in their workplaces? But the one-click system is only half of Amazon's illegal union-busting: the other half is delivered by its managers, who have cornered workers on the shop floor and ordered them to quit their union, threatening them with workplace retaliation if they don't.

This is in addition to more forced "captive audience" meetings where workers are bombarded with lies about what life in an union shop is like.

Again, the contrast couldn't be more stark. If you want to quit a union, Amazon makes this as easy as joining Prime. But if you want to join a union, Amazon makes that even harder than quitting Prime. Amazon has the same attitude to its workers and its customers: they see us all as a resource to be extracted, and have no qualms about tricking or even intimidating us into doing what's best for Amazon, at the expense of our own interests.

The campaigning law-firm Foxglove is representing five of Amazon's Coventry workers. They're doing the lord's work:

https://www.foxglove.org.uk/2024/05/02/legal-challenge-to-amazon-uks-new-one-click-to-quit-the-union-tool/

All this highlights the increasing divergence between the UK and the US when it comes to labor rights. Under the Biden Administration, @NLRB General Counsel Jennifer Abruzzo has promulgated a rule that grants a union automatic recognition if the boss does anything to interfere with a union election:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks/#if-blood-be-the-price-of-your-cursed-wealth

In other words, if Amazon tries these tactics in the USA now, their union will be immediately recognized. Abruzzo has installed an ultra-sensitive tilt-sensor in America's union elections, and if Bezos or his class allies so much as sneeze in the direction of their workers' democratic rights, they automatically lose.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/06/one-click-to-quit-the-union/#foxglove

Image: Isabela.Zanella (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ballot-box-2.jpg

CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en

[seokmatthewz]

fantasy boys continues to baffle me with every episode i watch

[pin-k-ink]

spring loaded // kita shinsuke

tw ⇢ kita is a student council member, sexual tension, grinding, making out, cunnilingus, hate sex, rough sex, biting, marking, name calling, manhandling, unprotected sex, overstimulation, semi public sex

wc ⇢ 6.2k

a/n: i’ve no idea how a student council works because we don’t have that here. so i just write whatever i felt like was correct

The weighted silence in the student council room felt charged enough to combust as Kita Shinsuke's piercing gaze bored into you from across the table, daring you to meet his stare.

You refused to be the one to blink first, keeping your features carefully composed despite the electric tingle thrumming beneath your skin whenever he settled that hooded, assessing look upon you. From the stark furrow of Kita's brow to the austere line of his mouth, his whole countenance radiated an intensity verging on confrontational.

Which was utterly baffling, considering the inanity of your current debate. You'd been going back and forth for what felt like hours over something as mundane as finalizing the budgetary allocation for the school's various clubs and sports teams. A topic that should have remained impersonal and clinical in discussion.

Yet with Kita as your opposition, even the most trivial administrative matters seemed to transform into a battle of wits and wills heavily laden with unspoken undercurrents. As if he took perverse delight in needling you over irrelevant minutiae just to study the sparks of agitation he could ignite behind your eyes.

"That figures simply cannot be accurate," Kita's crisp baritone sliced through the weighty quiet with surgical precision. "Clearly there's been an errant calculation made in funding distribution that skews the proportions unfairly."

You had to resist the urge to grit your teeth at his oh-so-casual insinuation of oversight on your part. Forcing yourself to meet that turbulent stare brimming with challenge, you enunciated clearly.

"I can assure you the numbers are triple-verified, Kita-san. Down to the last decimal point, as is protocol." You refused to rise to his barefaced provocation this time. "Unless you have a specific line item you'd like me to revisit?"

The muscle feathered along Kita's jawline told you he registered the thinly veiled rebuke in your composed tome. One corner of his perpetually downturned mouth seemed to twitch infinitesimally before he replied.

"Very well. If you insist the figures are beyond reproach, I'll simply defer to your...expertise on financial matters."

The way his gaze streaked overtly down the length of your body accompanied that final word before slowly ascending back to lock with yours. There was no mistaking the heated emphasis underlying the otherwise innocuous statement, or the undercurrent abruptly simmering in the space between you.

You forgot to breathe for a suspended heartbeat, mesmerized in a way you couldn't quite define by the heated intensity simmering behind Kita's pewter stare. Then the moment passed as he shifted imperceptibly, leaving you off-kilter and strangely...flushed with wayward energy.

"That said," Kita continued in a tone that could have stripped varnish, "based on my own analysis of the numbers, our volleyball program still seems to have been shortchanged on projected equipment and travel expenses for the upcoming semester."

Before you could even formulate a rebuttal, his palm slapped a sheaf of documents down atop the budget report with decisive force.

"I took the liberty of revising a few line items, reallocating whatever frivolous overages I could identify." Those gunmetal irises sliced into you with blistering emphasis. "You're welcome to review them and advocate for restoration of any expenditures you feel are indispensable, of course."

You opened your mouth to berate him for his typical high-handedness, but Kita simply leveled you with that hawkish, vivisecting look that somehow rendered you temporarily inert. Like a small prey creature having its innards laid open with scientific detachment for study.

"However..." He went on without awaiting dismissal. "I trust these revised projections will meet with the esteemed student council's approval, as they represent the most logical path forward for apportioning our resources effectively."

With a pointed dip of his chin, Kita slid the stack of modified documents across the table's glossy surface until they landed perfectly parallel before your frantically spiraling thoughts. For one hazy, dizzying instant, you caught another glimpse of that banked mercurial spark searing behind his pale stare.

And despite yourself, despite the countless similar petty needlings that prefaced this latest encounter...you felt a delirious slither of unfurling heat low in your abdomen at whatever unspoken challenge burned behind Kita's inscrutable countenance this time.

No matter how often you and Kita clashed over trivial administrative matters, the tension between you two always simmered with thrilling undercurrents you couldn't quite define. What should have been dry, impersonal discussions somehow transmuted into thick, electrically-charged atmospheres anytime he settled that piercing stare upon you.

Like the day you were compiling materials for the upcoming assembly in one of the empty classrooms after hours. So absorbed in cross-checking your notes that you didn't realize you weren't alone until Kita's crisp baritone sliced through the weighted quiet.

"Burning the midnight oil again, I see."

You startled slightly at his unexpected presence before forcing nonchalance. "Kita-san. I could say the same about you lurking around at this hour."

Rather than rising to your barbed tone, Kita simply shrugged one lean shoulder as he prowled further into the room. "Merely ensuring preparations are continuing on schedule, as is my duty."

There was something about the way he said that last part - husking it out in his low register while holding your stare hostage. As if the words themselves were laden with undercurrents his placid expression didn't betray. You had to tear your eyes away before your mind wandered in unprofessional directions.

"Yes, well..." You cleared your throat in a bid for steadiness. "I can assure you I have everything perfectly under control on this end."

"Do you?" Kita didn't miss a beat, tone taking on a weighted edge that raised delicious little chill-trails across your nape. Then he was suddenly looming over you, solid chest bisecting your space as one lean arm extended to tap the sheaf of agenda notes before you. "Then you'll want to revisit the agenda sequence here..."

You forgot to breathe for a suspended beat at the overwhelming closeness of Kita's body, the clean, earthy tang of his cologne fogging your senses in delirious waves. Heat prickled outwards as his proximity allowed you to take in all the subtleties of his physicality - lean musculature carved in elegant planes, hair perfectly coiffed, slender throat exposed by his open collar.

Swallowing hard, you dragged your traitorous focus to where his index finger rested, tamping down an errant shiver as you registered the feather-soft rasp of his knuckles grazing your forearm.

"No issues, Kita-san," you grated, silently willing your vocal cords not to betray the maelstrom of sensation spooling through you in waves. "That sequence of events is set exactly how I intended based on scheduled timing between segments."

A pause, thick and elecrically weighted. Then Kita leaned fractionally closer, face angling in your periphery until you could feel the humid torrent of his even breaths ghosting across your nape in tandem with the graze of his large palm settling over your knuckles.

"Perhaps..." He murmured at last, graveled timbre pitched to detonate in molten entreaty against your nerve-endings. "Perhaps you should take a breath and reexamine with fresh eyes, hmm? It's not good to rush and mess up all the hard work you've done so far..."

With exquisite slowness and purpose, Kita's fingertips began mapping delicious paths across the bare inward curve of your wrist where your sleeves ended. Following the thrumming path of your racing pulse with merciless precision as your entire body detonated into high-alert at his proximity.

"Something...to consider, President." He punctuated the softly murmured suggestion with the barest graze of teeth scoring along the fragile cup of your inner wrist, just below your leaping heartbeat.

You inhaled a sharp breath despite willing your lungs to remain steady, abruptly enveloped in the intoxicating maelstrom of Kita Shinsuke's body surrounding yours. His solid torso pressed against your back as he leaned over you was suddenly the only coherent point of gravity remaining in your short-circuiting consciousness.

Just as abruptly as the torturous intimacy commenced, Kita extracted himself from your personal space with that same maddeningly unhurried grace. Leaving you sagging dizzily over the table strewn with notes, head spinning from the disorienting whiplash as ambient reality slammed back into focus.

"Well then, I'll leave you to your...preparations," Kita remarked as he slid out of striking range once more. That calm, unruffled mien firmly back in place, not a single ripple marring the austere lines of his impassive features beyond the gleam of challenge burning in his pale stare.

Head buzzing with white-noise static, you somehow found the wherewithal to nod in numb acknowledgment as he made his exit. Though not before Kita tossed one last quietly insinuative murmur over the taut line of his shoulder:

"Do let me know if you require my...intimate counsel on any other agenda items before the assembly, President."

No matter how innocuous the setting or agenda item up for discussion, Kita always seemed to find a way to needle you until the atmosphere thickened with unresolved tension. You lost count of how many meetings devolved from productive dialogue into protracted staring contests - his pale, piercing gaze clashing against your own in silent challenge.

Until the slightest tonal emphasis or loaded innuendo from Kita's deceptively mild countenance had your senses catalyzing into high-alert without any overt physical provocation required. Your circadian rhythms seemed to attune themselves around whatever frequency he gave off until resentment and longing blurred into an inextricable dissonance.

It all came combustibly to a head during one marathon student council session debating adjustments for the upcoming cultural festival. What should have been a straightforward agenda swiftly derailed into yet another nitpicking exercise under Kita's scrutiny.

"This proposed stage layout is wildly impractical," he intoned without preamble, slicing through the tranquil murmurs around the table. "The sightlines from these audience positions will be unacceptably compromised."

You bristled at the derision loaded into his statement despite the bland delivery, hackles raising. "The sightlines have been carefully calculated and approved by school administration, Kita-san. I assure you, the layout is optimized for attendee visibility."

Kita's jaw tightened infinitesimally, the only betraying tic before he spoke again around the weighted pause. "Then I must object to the administration's mathematical competencies, President. Any observer would be hard-pressed to enjoy performances from these points."

Heat began sparking treacherously low in your belly despite willing every hormone into submission. The way his gaze needled yours made you feel like a science project splayed on the examination table for detached scrutiny.

"As I said, visibility has been confirmed as adequate," you attempted to dismiss his objection with an air of unruffled composure. "Perhaps if you reviewed the fully annotated schematics instead of cherry-picking sparse details, you wouldn't be so hasty with misguided critiques."

Around the oblong table, assorted club representatives and administrators shifted uncomfortably at the open animosity thickening the atmosphere. But Kita either didn't register or refused to yield the pointed intensity ratcheting up between you.

"Trust me, I've reviewed every last ludicrous detail in your 'meticulous' planning packet," he rejoined without missing a beat. Then those pale, turbulent irises streaked down your frame before ascending in a carnal sweep that ignited your senses into a molten feedback loop.

"If you'll recall, I made numerous notations regarding suggested corrections within those materials, none of which seemed to have been implemented based on this..." His fingertips trailed along the sheaf of documents arrayed before him with pointed nonchalance before tapping the stage layout critique. "...latest set of notes."

You sucked in a sharp inhale at the lingering heat imparted by his deliberately provocative regard. Determined not to shrivel beneath the scorching weight of it, you willed your features into an expression of cool disregard rather than flustered capitulation.

Rapping your knuckles once against the tabletop in a measured rebuke, you refused to so much as blink as your rebuttal emerged in clipped precision: "While I appreciate your...passion for optimization, Kita-san, I won't have you hijacking productive council discussions just to indulge your own pet nitpicks over work that's already been comprehensively reviewed and approved."

The resulting silence bordered on obscene, both of your expressions chiseled into neutral masks even as the electricity between your unyielding stares threatened to buckle the foundations. Kita broke first - but only to dip his chin in a subtle nod, one corner of his mouth twitching upwards into what could almost be interpreted as smirk.

"Of course..." He practically purred the acquiescence, sending depravity licking along your nerve endings despite his tone remaining decidedly mild. Then that pale, vivisecting gaze darkened with banked promise as Kita maintained weighty emphasis.

"Though whether or not you ultimately implement my impassioned adjustments, it seems prudent I continue voicing any...intimate observations pertaining to your procedural proposals. For the sake of meticulous oversight, naturally."

Your nails dug into the soft leather of your chair's armrests beneath the table, thighs clenching against a delirious spiral of dark yearning at the naked intimacy he somehow managed to bleed into an otherwise innocuous statement.

"Naturally," you echoed in a strained rasp, silently willing your feet to remain anchored despite every instinct suddenly screaming to flee the magnetic pull of Kita's influence before it dragged you into uncharted depths below.

His slow, weighted blink of faux-innocence told you he'd registered your restraint fraying audibly in that one tremulous utterance. As the council reconvened around you, Kita remained locked in blatantly pointed contemplation as if determining where best to slip the razor's edge of his next precision strike.

The pointed sparring between you and Kita rapidly escalated beyond mere loaded words and heated stares into something far more overtly provocative. As if some vital tether had snapped, rendering you both powerless against the raging undercurrents of tension steadily cresting between you.

Take the afternoon you'd stopped by the gymnasium to confirm details for an upcoming pep rally, only to find the cavernous space already occupied. Kita and his teammates were in the midst of grueling reception drills, sweat-slicked bodies moving in rhythmic unison across the hardwood.

You faltered in the entrance, instantly transfixed despite your best attempts at nonchalance. There was something almost hypnotic about watching the flexing, rippling muscles shifting beneath strapped compression gear as the athletes launched themselves around the court. But it was Kita's lithe, almost feral form that catalyzed a delirious storm of heated prickles streaking through you in waves.

The captain barked out a crisp order, sending his underlings scattering into new formations as he prowled the sidelines with that patented intensity. You couldn't tear your rapt attention away from the mesmerizing, almost predatory grace of his movements as those lean muscles bunched and released beneath his sleeveless jersey.

Kita halted mid-prowl as another powerful spike collided squarely with his reception. Absorbing the force with seemingly effortless poise, he pivoted towards you at the last second - eyes immediately snagging your dumbstruck gaze from across the vaulted space in a heated collision.

The world seemed to condense down to that single point of smoldering contact as Kita remained frozen for a suspended beat, chest heaving with exertion. You could almost taste the heady tang of his sweat saturating the charged atmosphere, jumpstarting your senses into riotous overdrive despite the distance between you.

Then Kita's tongue swept out in one unhurried sweep to moisten his lower lip and you were utterly, viscerally transfixed. Every molecule abruptly attuned to the elegant stretch of corded tendons, the hypnotic sheen of perspiration gilding his form, the predatory arch of those slanted eyes boring into you until the entire tableau felt like a brand searing itself into your unreliable psyche.

You couldn't even force your gaze elsewhere, overwhelmed by the phantom imprint of Kita's hooded stare streaking over your body in one scorching, proprietary sweep. Until the low, measured cadences of his gruff voice sawed through the maelstrom spiraling your senses into overload.

"Something I can...assist you with, President?"

Ambient noise came crashing back in technicolor cataclysm as Kita's question seemed to reverberate through the very marrow of your bones. His teammates had frozen mid-drill, staring between the two of you with comically transparent bewilderment as the tensions went unacknowledged but dauntingly tangible.

Your tongue felt leaden, mouth as dry and viscous as cotton wadding despite your efforts to recover some fragment of composure beneath the weight of that blazing scrutiny. Kita prowled closer, unhurried and predatory - until you swore you could feel the scorching heat radiating off the bunched musculature left glistening and exposed by his jersey's open collar.

"My, my..." He practically purred in that resonant timbre edged with dark sin. "So captivated already, and I'm only just getting warmed up for you..."

This time when that hooded, canine stare tracked down the length of your body, Kita didn't even attempt to mask his unhurried debauch. You stood rooted to the varnished floorboards, a live-wire of sensation burrowing treacherously outward as moist lips curved in the faintest suggestion of a leer.

"Well then, President..." That molten timbre caressed the honorific like one would relish a profanity falling sinfully free. "Allow me to put on a proper display showcasing my...skills and talents. Just for your viewing pleasure, hmm?"

With that husked promise dangling between you like a garrotte tightening around your every scattered impulse to flee, Kita spun away to rejoin the practice. But not before searing you one last weighted look - one that brazenly insinuated the deliberate narrative awaiting further exploration between your dually-bared forms.

Just like that, you were instantly, irretrievably captivated. Despite the spectacle unfolding before you, behind your raptured stare the only thought taking screaming root now was:

What else could this elemental feral creature so blithely take from you if given the chance...and would you let him?

It became increasingly difficult to maintain any veneer of professionalism whenever you and Kita occupied the same space. What should have been productive meetings or cordial planning sessions rapidly devolved into charged battlefields of heated looks and weighted innuendo.

As if some tenuous tether had finally snapped, rendering you both powerless against the rising tide of heated tensions crackling in the air whenever your eyes met. No matter how benign the topic up for discussion, that delirious, molten attraction always threatened to overwhelm and swallow you whole without preamble.

That day you'd called an emergency student council session to address concerns over the cultural festival's opening ceremonies running too long. What began as a pragmatic conversation about trimming excessive performances rapidly derailed the instant Kita strode through the door with that peerless intensity radiating off him in waves.

"--which is why I recommend we cut at least three acts from the lineup to stay on schedule," you addressed the assembly without preamble, determined to project an air of unruffled authority.

Unfortunately, Kita chose that precise moment to settle into the seat directly across from you, slouching indolently as pale eyes slammed into yours with the visceral impact of a bullet train's collision. You faltered infinitesimally despite yourself, briefly rendered inert beneath the naked weight of his stare before rallying onward.

"Unless...there are any other suggestions to streamline things?" You arched one brow in the vaguest of challenges.

A protracted beat passed, electrically charged and vibrating. Then Kita allowed his tongue to sweep out and trace the plump contours of his lower lip before replying in that endlessly unraveling rasp.

"As a matter of fact...I do have a few impassioned 'suggestions' for maximizing efficiency and impact, President."

The husked emphasis he placed on your honorific this time went straight to your core, igniting fissures of heat that threatened to unravel your composure completely. Deliberately tamping down the delirious spiral of yearning, you responded in as bland a tone as you could muster.

"I'm listening, Kita-san. Though perhaps we could table the distracting commentary for now and stay on task?"

Rather than looking chastised, Kita's lips seemed to twitch upwards in the barest hint of smirk even as a muscle ticked along his carved jawline. Then he leaned casually back, slouching further in pointed rebuke as he allowed that penetrating stare to streak down your form with unhurried debauch.

"Why so eager to rush through the opening acts, I wonder?" He all but purred, midnight regard devouring your deepening flush with clear relish. "Shouldn't we savor such a deliciously long...build-up before reaching the climactic main events?"

All around the conference table, the other council members shifted uncomfortably at the naked innuendo dripping through Kita's mild timbre. You opened your mouth, fully intending to deliver some withering rejoinder about his inappropriate lack of professionalism.

But that's when Kita allowed one defined forearm to snake up and brace his broad palm at the nape of his neck in a deceptively casual stretch. The motion drew every eye helplessly down towards the ruddy hollows of his collarbones now visible beneath his askew shirt placket, the tendons shifting beneath gilded flesh like sentient sculpture.

Despite yourself, your pupils blew wide in a hapless gutterball of physiological arousal, drinking in every tantalizing glimpse of lean muscle and glistening skin on offer. Completely missing the knowing curve quirking Kita's mouth as your attention grew transfixed in that breathless vacuum of gravity.

When the husky vibrations of his next drawling inquiry sliced through the weighted quiet at last, you actually startled as if electrified. "...isn't that right, President?"

You blinked dazedly, realizing belatedly that you'd been so thoroughly enraptured by the sensual display of Kita's sprawl that the entire conversational thread was now lost to temporaryvapors. Heat crept up the column of your throat as you fumbled for some semblance of steadiness beneath the weight of all those judging stares.

"I—um, that is..." You rallied at last, squaring your shoulders in a valiant show of composure despite the molten fires still blazing outwards through your veins. "As I was saying, some events will simply need omitting from the lineup in the name of time constraints. That's the most efficient strategy here, if we want the full cultural experience scheduled."

Forcing your attention away from the mesmerizing sprawl of Kita's form, you stared down several of the more vocal dissenters until their murmurings hushed obediently to the proclaimed assessment. Only once the matter appeared settled did you risk flicking your eyes back to where your tormentor lounged in studied insouciance.

Kita's full lips were curved in a quietly indolent smile now, one that somehow both scorched and soothed the hyperaware nerve-endings screaming for attention all over your body. His unblinking stare remained locked in rapturous communion through each weighted inhale, weighty enough to resurrect lingering prickles.

The atmosphere was already crackling with unresolved tensions by the time you and Kita arrived at your latest battle of wits and wills. What started as a mundane review of upcoming school pride initiatives rapidly spun out into familiar territory - with Kita nitpicking your every proposal like a dog worrying a bone.

"This budget allocation is transparently overblown," he snapped without preamble, pale eyes flashing. "I refuse to allow such blatant financial waste just to satiate the committee's delusions of grandeur."

You recoiled slightly at the bluntness, teeth gritting together. "Those funds were already approved by administration based on last year's successful promotional spend--"

"Last year's figures mean nothing if they were hemorrhaging money to begin with!" Kita's deep timbre emerged scorched and gravelly. "We cannot justify that level of surplus, end of discussion."

The menacingly calm way he shut down your objection sparked fresh tendrils of heated frustration snaking outwards through your veins. Your pulse kicked up several furious notches as Kita's piercing stare remained locked and loaded, awaiting either silent capitulation or your next attempted counterstrike like a wolf scenting weakness.

Shoving away from the table with enough force to rattle its contents, you shot to your feet with fists clenched in wordless defiance. For a suspended beat, Kita simply watched you through narrowed lids, coiled tension rolling off his larger frame in waves.

Then he moved.

With a feline's predatory grace, Kita pushed out of his chair and stalked around the table's circumference towards where you stood rooted between mounting wrath and some darker, more visceral yearning. In your heightened state, the liquid prowl of each measured step seemed to fill the tiny room, sudden claustrophobia setting your heart thundering.

Kita halted less than a foot away, near enough for you to feel the heated displacement of air around his solid frame like invisible wings. To scent the cedar-and-bergamot bouquet of his subtle cologne seeping into your scattered awareness until every shallow inhale felt drugged and rapturous. His eyes never left yours - twin laser sights of smoldering challenge.

"You'd do well to remember who holds jurisdiction over fiscal matters relating to our operations," he intoned at last, the words dropping like lead weights into the bristling quiet between you. "Arrogance like yours never fails to meet...humbling correction eventually."

Some unraveled tether finally snapped deep inside at Kita's ominous inflection. You surged upwards onto the balls of your feet until you were almost nose-to-nose, hands bunching in the placket of his shirt to yank his face closer in irresistible conflagration.

Kita went utterly statue-still for a suspended heartbeat, surprise rippling across those austere features before darkening into something more viscerally intent. You opened your mouth to deliver some scathing invective you couldn't even properly envision at the moment--

But the abrupt forward cant of Kita's hips robbed you of air and thought alike. Broad palms settled on your biceps with scorching possession, fingers digging in as he backed you up against the wall's solid plane without warning. Only inches separated you, carnal heat and musky cedar-spice atmospheres merging into delirium that catalyzed your lungs into overdrive.

Between one breath and the next, your bodies aligned in an inescapable vise of muscle and silk and banked wildfire. One of Kita's thighs settled between yours in brazen, unhurried possession, forcing your knees wider in shameless entreaty as his torso effectively pinned you from breastbone to navel. The slightest rock of his hips allowed the undeniable brand of his cock to nestle against your innermost apex in a slow, suggestive grind that whited out your higher reasoning entirely.

"Nnhh..."

The broken, needy noise slipped out before you could stop it. You flushed scalding, shame and yearning burgeoning in equal measure until you could no longer meet the smoldering tumult of Kita's regard from such excruciatingly intimate proximity. His exhalations feathered across your cheek in humid, dizzying waves.

Then suddenly Kita surged forward, mouth a scorching brand searing against your own in a devouring, open-mouthed crush of sin and scorching conquest. His iron grip around your biceps eliminated any notion of retreat or capitulation as he systematically began mapping the velvet cosms of your mouth with broad, indolent sweeps of his tongue.

Your hitching whimper was swallowed whole as you arched into the ruthlessness of his possession, hips grinding in helpless entreaty against his thigh's insistent cradle. Heat radiated off Kita's frame in searing thermals, cradling you deeper into his suffocating orbit until everything outside ceased coherent existence.

Just when the roaring in your ears threatened to peak into full-bodied oblivion, something tore with a decisive snap, accompanied by the clatter of ricocheting buttons. Suddenly cool air rushed in where heated flesh had fused mere moments before, allowing your eyes to slam wide in panicked realization--

Kita had practically torn the blouse from your torso, pinning you with arms wrenched overhead and chest heaving in undisguised debauch.

The sudden tearing sound seemed to detonate the last vestige of higher reasoning between you in that endless suspended moment. One second you were pinned beneath the scorching brand of Kita's mouth claiming yours in molten possession, the next cool air rushed in as buttons scattered across the room's tiles with percussive finality.

You shuddered violently as Kita wrenched himself back just far enough to fully drink in the sight of you disheveled and flushed, chest heaving above the lacy bra you wore. His stare streaked down the newly bared expanses of skin in one unhurried, carnal sweep - pupils blown wide enough to drown entire constellations.

Rather than feeling shamed or flustered beneath that devouring scrutiny, you arched shamelessly into his appraisal. Every nerve ending screamed for more of the searing friction from Kita's rigid frame as he pinned you against the wall with his unyielding weight, solid ridge nestled indelicately against your core.

The rasping groan he released then seemed to reverberate straight through your bones, a vibration echoing from some ancient, elemental depth. Kita's palms mapped up the trembling terrain of your flanks in searing brands, fingertips trailing delirious contrails until he cradled the soft weight of you entirely in his calloused grasp.

"So unbelievably eager..." His growl emerged gravel-rough and undone in a way that sent molten shudders ricocheting through you. "Utterly shameless in your hunger, aren't you?"

You managed the barest slivers of a nod, mouth falling open in soundless entreaty as Kita's thumbs ghosted beneath the exposed swells caught in his possessive cups. His tongue dragged out in one slow sweep to moisten those pillowed lips, gaze locked on your own in a silent clash of wills.

Then his hips rolled in one heated, languorous grind that had your eyes nearly rolling back in pure rapture. The sinuous flex of Kita's torso pinned you utterly immobile as he sealed your mouths together again in delirious communion - all searing velvet and scorching possession and liquid sin etching itself into each of your marrow.

Coherent thought fled entirely as his uniquely masculine musk surrounded you in heady, drugging waves. Every shallow inhalation drew Kita's smoldering essence deeper into your psyche until not even memories beyond this cathedral of satiated need remained recognizable.

You keened softly into the merciless sweep of his tongue mapping every velvet alcove in reverent exploration. Savored the delicious sting of teeth grazing oversensitized skin as he plundered down the elegant column of your throat with possessive fervor. Writhed and arched into each arrhythmic roll of his hips grinding yours back into the solidity of the wall over and over again--

Until the world itself seemed to bleed away into ashen vapor, leaving only the exquisite crucible of your tangled forms bound in an endless rapturous spiral of searing caresses and shattering gasps and carnal desperation spiraling ever inwards towards that infinite event horizon of oblivion.

Kita's husky drawl seemed to echo somewhere in the vicinity of the crown of your skull, distant and dreamlike and yet so impossibly present. A languid stroke along the underside of one breast, the teasing graze of canines across a straining tendon, a sinfully hot mouth trailing liquid fire between your trembling thighs.

"Such a mess you've made already, President..." His dark murmur reverberated through your entire being in a wave of liquid heat. "Such a needy little slut, aren't you? I can taste how desperate you are for me..."

Then the molten, velvet contours of his tongue plunged between the soaked folds of your pussy, stroking along the sensitive nerve-clusters in a single, unhurried sweep that had you convulsing against his restraining grasp. Your vision whited out at the seams as the heady, decadent taste of him flooded your senses.

A broken sob tore free as he licked into you again, then again, laving every last inch of your dripping slit with unhurried reverence. That sinful tongue delved impossibly deeper each time, spearing into your aching core until every muscle in your body quivered and clenched.

Kita hummed his satisfaction against the tender flesh, a vibrato that ricocheted through your synapses and ignited the frayed ends of your control in an instant. Then the suction started, lips and teeth and tongue devouring you in relentless, wet suction until the world was spinning and imploding and melting into nothing but pure sensation.

You keened wordlessly, thighs trembling and hips bucking wildly against his iron grip as Kita's dexterous fingers began pistoning inside you in tandem. The added stretch and friction of three calloused digits stroking along your most intimate walls had the pleasure spiking higher, higher, impossibly higher still.

"Fuck, so perfect..." He breathed reverently, the words feathering against your throbbing clit as Kita nosed against it with the most exquisite pressure. "Cum for me, right fucking now."

The orgasm ripped through you without warning.

Searing, shattering ecstasy erupted along your spine and outwards in a blinding wave that drowned every last coherent thought in its path. You cried out hoarsely, thrashing against Kita's grip in a frenzy as he worked you through each convulsive spasm.

Then his lips were sealing over your clit once more, tongue swirling and suckling and coaxing every last ounce of your climax into overflowing, molten bliss until the edges of reality frayed and unraveled entirely.

When the world gradually resolved back into some semblance of clarity, it was to the sensation of Kita's hard length grinding insistently between the slick seam of your thighs. The blunt, velvet-wrapped tip nudged against your swollen entrance in teasing promise, sending fresh ripples of sensation careening through your already overstimulated form.

You moaned wantonly, grinding against him in delirious entreaty - desperate for Kita to bury his cock inside you and fuck you until the universe itself shattered apart into glittering stardust. He hissed at the contact, hands gripping your hips with bruising force as the crown teased just barely inside, spreading your lips obscenely.

Then he slammed home, sheathing himself completely inside your clenching, aching walls with a single brutal thrust that had you both groaning aloud. Kita's mouth captured yours in a bruising kiss, the combined flavors of your climax and his intoxicating musk flooding your tongue and drowning you in pure rapture.

Every powerful stroke into your quivering pussy seemed to strike straight against the molten center of you, each thrust bottoming out and stretching you impossibly wide. It was the most exquisite, carnal torture - having your writhing form pinned and helpless while Kita's relentless assault pounded you into the wall.

You moaned, the sounds muffled against his hungry mouth, every nerve-ending igniting as his cock pistoned deeper and harder and faster. It was too much, not enough, more than you could possibly contain and yet you wanted it all - wanted him to split you apart on the thick, pulsating length spearing you open.

"Fuck, if I’d known what a cockslut you'd be for me..." Kita growled against your throat, the words muffled as his lips trailed up and down the exposed flesh in heated caress. "How sweetly you'd spread those gorgeous thighs and take everything I give you..."

One of his broad palms splayed across the front of your lower stomach, pushing against the swollen, stretched bulge of his cock pounding deep within you. You cried out at the added pressure, thrashing uncontrollably as another orgasm crested closer, closer, just beyond the reach of his iron grasp.

"Such a perfect, tight little cunt...squeezing my cock like you can't get enough..." His ragged timbre resonated through you in a sonic vibration, teeth sinking into the juncture of your throat and shoulder. "You fucking love this, don't you? Getting fucked hard and rough, like the slut you are..."

Your nails dug into his shoulders, scrabbling for purchase against the sweat-slicked, shifting planes of his musculature as you fought to meet each powerful stroke. Each brutal snap of Kita's hips threatened to unravel the foundations of the very universe, obliterating everything beyond the scorching friction between your bodies and the delirious, molten heat mounting in your core.

He panted raggedly against the delicate shell of your ear, the hot exhalations fanning across your temple and cheeks. Then his rhythm faltered, hips jerking wildly, a guttural curse spilling from Kita's parted lips as he drove impossibly deeper.

The world erupted in pure, molten euphoria.

A raw, feral cry wrenched free from somewhere deep inside you. Your back arched, the heels of your shoes digging into the firm curve of his ass as your entire form strained into his final, ruthless strokes.

"That's it, fuck..." He growled, hips stuttering as he ground impossibly deeper, a hot torrent of cum spilling into the clenching clutch of your cunt. "I can feel you milking me so fucking tight...taking every last drop like the good little slut you are..."

His words echoed distantly in your ears, the syllables blurring and blending together until they were nothing but a melodious refrain of filthy praise. Kita's cock continued to pulse deep inside, filling you impossibly full and igniting a whole new series of electrically charged sparks skittering across your raw nerve endings.

By the time the roaring in your ears abated, it was to the sensation of his mouth trailing along the delicate curve of your jawline in featherlight caress. Kita's broad palms smoothed down the length of your thighs, easing the strained muscles until they quivered anew.

All of a sudden, he was slamming you down onto the table's surface, the edge colliding with the back of your thighs and forcing you to brace your palms flat against the varnished wood. Kita loomed above, a predatory gleam flashing in his darkening irises as he leaned in to capture your lips in another searing, open-mouthed kiss.

"We're far from finished here, President..." That resonant purr echoed down to your very bones, sending fresh prickles erupting across your sensitized flesh. "Now that I've got you properly broken in , it's time we explore the rest of those delicious, depraved fantasies dancing behind those pretty eyes."

Then he was spreading your thighs wider, angling his hips to surge deep into the drenched, aching folds of your cunt once more.

[phoenixyfriend]

Accountant of Theed

Read on AO3

After all is said and done, someone needs to balance these books, and nobody actually told the accounting department how they paid for this new hyperdrive. Mimi really hopes it's not a loan from the Hutts.

Disclaimer: I am not an accountant, but I work in an adjacent field (and have been considering getting a certification, but that's neither here nor there). While I did take some courses on it, I asked an Accounting Person to look over the excel sheet before I went forward with the rest of the fic to make sure it's internally consistent. Thank you to @gnomer-denois for confirming my balance on these works!

The reconciliation sheet does NOT follow contemporary guidelines in terms of format etc, but that is because it is:

In space! Standard practice differs from Modern United States or what have you.

Not the primary balance sheet, just the simplified version made to show to Queen Amidala.

If you'd prefer to view the Excel sheet in a more easily navigable form, there is a google drive link available. This is also your best option if using a screen reader.

-----------------------------------------

Theed is safe. They are rebuilding. There is even financial support, aid, from the Republic.

It comes with strings attached. Oversight. Auditors.

Wouldn’t want Naboo to misuse funding after that nasty mistake with the Trade Federation, right? Sure, Naboo wasn’t the one at fault, but one can never be too careful...

Mimi, as an accountant for the government of Naboo, does not in fact want to commit fraud, or enable corruption, but the rolling audits do feel a little like the Republic is punishing them for getting invaded.

“Hey, boss?”

That tone. Mimi does not like that tone. “Please tell me it’s not another unauthorized purchase with a missing receipt. Which account did they pull from this time?”

“Um... we don’t know?”

Mimi gives them a moment. No elaboration is given.

“You don’t know?”

“We don’t know,” the younger employee repeats.

“What do you mean?” Mimi asks. “People charge things to accounts or cards. They forget to submit receipts. We hunt them down for receipts, and make sure nobody is skimming off the top. That’s how it goes. Unless this is a purchase on a personal and we need to reimburse—”

“Um, maybe?”

“In which—what? That’s just... okay. There’s a process for reimbursements. You aren’t following it, which means... what? What do you mean, you don’t know? Did they use cash, or pull from an account?”

The younger employee looks down at their datapad. Looks back up at her. Looks baffled and a little scared. “Um, it’s... we still don’t have a receipt, but we also don’t know where the money for it came from? But nobody’s put in a reimbursement request and I can’t imagine anyone on the mission had those funds on them, not even the Queen herself.”

“The money for what?”

“Um. It sort of just... showed up?”

“So, it’s some kind of gift?” Mimi presses.

“Too big,” the younger mumbles, refusing to meet her eyes. “It would have to be disclosed.”

“I am giving you five seconds—”

“It’s a hyperdrive!” they yelp.

“...Explain.”

“One of the mechanics was looking over the Royal Cruiser, and found that there was unrecorded repair work to the hyperdrive. The ship took enough damage during the escape that he wasn’t surprised, but then he noticed that it was from an earlier run of the part, and when he checked, the serial number was completely wrong. The hyperdrive was completely replaced.”

Mimi closes her eyes and takes a breath. “The mechanic doesn’t know?”

“He said there’s nothing in the records that matches it at all, and it’s a big enough part that there’s no way it would just slip through the cracks, not when it’s that expensive and going on the Royal Cruiser.”

“So,” Mimi says, “we have a part worth almost as much as the rest of the cruiser combined, that just... came out of nowhere, and nobody claiming for reimbursement.”

“Yes, ma’am. That’s what it looks like.”

Mimi has no interest in fraud.

“Find out who was piloting when Queen Amidala escaped, and see if they have any answers,” Mimi tells them. “If we can keep it to just the hangar staff without drawing in the Royal Retinue, it’ll be easier on all of us.”

“Here’s hoping, ma’am.”

(Continue on AO3)

[mysticgalsworld]

a timeless encounter

a/n: this is my first Leopold Mountbatten fic you guys !! i’m rlly excited but disappointed bc i haven’t seen a lot of fics under this tag :( im sad cause he’s my dream man and i NEED more of him (that’s why i made this 😋) anyways lovelies, as always i take requests but lemme know what you think💕

summary: as the owner of a small cafe in New York that you hate, you don’t expect anybody to change your mind. But the strange-dressed man who wonders into the cafe one day may change your mind…

warnings: Leopold Mountbatten x f! reader, southern! reader, not spellchecked

The line in the cafe is piled up. When you hear the bell ding tediously, announcing another customer, you almost groan. You keep your head positioned on the lady in front of you, half listening as she drones on about what she got last time.

You continue conversing, almost forgetting about the person who just walked in, when an accented voice pulls you out of your thoughts.

“Good day. I am Sir Leopold Mountbatten. How do you do?”

Your head turns to the side as you look to him. Surprised that he has walked to the front of the line, skipping about 10 waiting people, you almost scoff.

When you glance at him more closely and notice the strange clothes he’s wearing, your eyebrows crease. When he introduces himself and asks you, how do you do?, confusion rises to your face.

Keeping a calm, but confused face, you go to respond. “I’m sorry sir, there is a very long line of people waiting. Do you mind going to the back and waiting your turn?”

Leopold looks around, realizing the error he made. He turns back towards you with a sheepish expression on his face. "I apologize, I was not paying due attention."

He glances around, noticing the queue of people waiting. "It appears there are quite a few individuals waiting in line. I shall take my place at the end of the line. Do forgive my oversight."

You nod your head in confusion, agreeing to whatever he’s saying so he listens to you. You watch as he retreats to the back of the line. Shall? Do forgive? You think in your head as you question his strange choice of language. It’s nothing like the people in New York. You were lucky if you even got a thank you, which is nothing like the south, where you were raised.

Meanwhile you continue helping the female customer who’s still gabbing on about what drink she got from the menu last time. Still your mind wonders to the strange man who walked through the cafe doors.

Leopold patiently waits in line, studying the establishment with a mixture of curiosity and wonder, taking in the scents of hot drinks, the lone woman behind the counter.

As he waits, he can’t help but wonder what you think of him, your confusion evident in your expression. He glances at you every now and then, waiting for his turn to approach the counter.

Nodding as the woman finally decides what she wants, you move to take the next customer’s order. You continue this until the line dwindles down, the next person in line being the strange man.

Putting a small smile on your face, you’re sure he can read that it’s not entirely genuine due to your stressed and frazzled appearance.

“Hey sir, what can I get for you today?”

The strange man—Leopold was his name, right?—glances at you with a kind smile. “Good day. I shall have a cup of your finest black tea please, if you would be so kind.”

He glances across the counter to you, taking in your stressed appearance, his expression betraying a hint of concern.

You nod and jot down the order on your frayed notebook before telling him the total. He reaches into his pocket, retrieving a few coins to pay for the tea.

Looking up to him, your mind is baffled with curiosity and wonder. He notices your confusion and gives you a small questioning smile. Your mouth moves before your brain can tell it to stop.

“You’re not from around here, are you?”

His eyebrows furrow in surprise before he clears his throat gently. “Indeed, I travel from afar. I hail from the city of Albany originally... Why do you ask?"

Your eyebrows raise in surprise as you turn around to prepare the tea on the counter behind you. Glancing over your shoulder absentmindedly but still curious, you respond.

“The clothes. Oh and the accent. But you do know Albany’s the capital of New York? So that wouldn’t make you a traveler from ‘afar’… Or British.”

Leopold chuckles at your abruptness, amused by your observation. You zone in on his face, the small crinkle of crows feet in the corners of his eyes as he smiles widely. "Ah yes, my attire. I am quite well aware of Albany's status as the capital of New York. I was referring to the era I originate from. I hail from the year...”

He pauses, a little uncomfortable as the next words come out of his mouth. You urge him on silently, turning from preparing the tea to instead lean against the counter.

He continues with a slight gulp, “—1876. That is what I meant by saying I am not from around here."

Your body pauses as you lean against the counter. Hoping to not show a reaction, you go back to the forgotten tea, starting to pour it. Your mind is reeling, wondering if he’s being truthful or if he’s just a strange crackhead that managed to wander in.

Blinking a couple times, you place the pot down once you are finished pouring and turn to him incredulously. “1876. You’re from 1876.”

Leopold stands straighter at this, wanting to see your reaction and more importantly wanting to see if you’ll believe him. He tries to put on an easy smile, boarderline smirk to suppress his nerves. “Indeed, I am. I assume you do not believe me, my lady?”

Blinking rapidly, you turn back around to grab the ceramic teacup from the other counter. Grabbing it and placing it in front of him, your voice almost wobbles as you place your hands on your hips.

“You’re not goin’ through some sort of psychosis or somethin’, right? Or you’re not like a really good street performer in character?”

Leopold takes the mug daintily from the counter, lifting it to his lips and taking a sip as he nods. He hums as he takes his first sip of the tea, almost distracted by how good it is. “No, my lady. I assure you I am neither a person dealing with mental illness nor a skillful street performer. I am very much real, and am not pretending in the slightest. I can provide you with further proof if you require it.”

A teasing scoff comes out of your mouth before you can stop it. A small smile appears on your face as you cross your arms. “I don’t need your whole life story, hon. I just met you.”

Leopold nods a little, the tips of ears ears almost reddening as he almost doesn’t catch your teasing tone. When it registers, he can almost scoff at your comment, but can’t help himself from smiling at your wit.

You glance down at the glass counter, an idea popping in your head before you can stop it. Before your brain can tell your body to stop, you bend down and grab a blueberry muffin. Placing it on a small plate, you hand it to him with a soft smile. “Well I’ve always wanted a man from the 19th century to try my desserts. On the house.”

He accepts the blueberry muffin with a gracious nod. “I appreciate your generosity, my lady. However, I must insist you allow me to pay for it. It doesn’t seem right, accepting something ‘on the house.’”

You shake your head, biting your lip to hold back a giggle. Smiling widely at him, you lean back on the counter. “Please just take the muffin and sit down…”

Leopold takes his muffin, tea, and your instruction to sit down, and finds an empty table in a quiet corner of the cafe. He sits down, taking a moment to examine the surroundings, his eyes landing on you, busy at work at the counter.

Looking down at the muffin, Leopold’s stomach grumbles in response to the delicious scent wafting up to him. He takes a small bite, the sweetness of the blueberry muffin filling his mouth. He lets out a satisfied hum, savoring the taste.

Now wiping down the counters, you watch the customers eat peacefully as the full cafe comes to a lull. You turn to restock inventory and leisurely take customer orders, almost forgetting the strange man supposedly from 1876.

Glancing down at the wall clock that’s nudged in the cozy wall of the cafe, you sigh knowing that you need to clean this entire place before you can go home. While you know working at the cafe may be a dream for some people, you are too busy with the hope for something better.

Owning this cafe was just a enclosed way for your late father to trap you. After he passed, he left it to you instead of your mother. Since they had been divorced for a while it made sense, but it was his last wish to spite her. Now this place is just a constant reminder of the crippling debt, unpaid loans, and quitting employees he left.

Taking out your troubles on the counters as you go back to wiping, you barely notice a pair of eyes on you. Leopold watched you as you work, observing your routine in the cafe. The slight tick of his pocket watch indicates that it's getting late. He takes another sip of his tea, watching as the last few customers start to trickle out of the cafe. Once they're gone, he steps back up to the counter.

"Excuse me, my lady. You'll be closed soon, yes?"

Emerging from around the counter, you pass him and walk to the space filled with tables. You move gracefully, picking up empty dishes and cups that people have left. Leopold walks behind you, watching as you gather the dishes.

His mind urges him to take the dishes from your hands, anything to help make it easier for you. He stills, patiently waiting for his answer while holding his hands out to assist you. Absentmindedly you nod, not noticing his outstretched hands.

“Yep, in about 20 minutes.”

He nods, clearing his throat gently. His eyebrow raises curiously before answering. “I see. And you’ll be closing up and cleaning by yourself? Where is your waitstaff?” You sigh, your chest rising and falling with exhaustion before answering with a teasing lift.

“No waitstaff, I own it. Currently taking applications though if your friends from the 19th century wanna help out…”

A small smile played on Leopold’s lips at your comment as he let out a small chuckle. Your eyes lift to his, listening to the deep rumble of his chuckle. Through his small laugh he responds, “I doubt any of my acquaintances from the 19th century would be able to assist even if they wanted to. Their knowledge certainly won't be up to standard here."

You nod with a small smile on your own lips, noticing as the plates start to get heavier in your arms. You adjust them, wanting to continue your easy conversation with Leopold, but he easily notices your discomfort. He steps closer, his arms outstretched.

"Might I offer my assistance, my lady?"

Your arms, filled to the brim with dishes, quake. Before you even nod your head, he moves to take the dishes from your hands. The huge pile of dishes seem almost small in his huge hands. You have to stop yourself from gawking down at them, instead moving to a small closed door that leads to the kitchen.

Turning slightly to the man with a smile, you try to open the small doorway wide so he can get in easily. The door sticks, giving you a hard time as you try to open it. You speak over your shoulder to him, half embarrassed and half frustrated.

“Thank you so much—I’m sorry, this ole thing gets stuck all the time and it’s annoying when you carrying a load’a dishes.”

Leopold just nods, a patient smile on his face as he waits. You open the door with a harsh pull as you open it enough for him to pass. He looks to you with a question and you guide him to the sink where the dishes go. After he sets down the dishes, his eyes remain on you, an earnest and determined expression on his face.

"Is there anything else I can assist with? I am at your disposal, my lady."

You almost flush at his words, used to honey, ma’am, and even sugar from your hometown, but my lady seeming completely different. Wiping your hands on your worn apron, you shake your head with a smile.

“My lady, huh? You sure do know how to make a lady feel special… But no, I got it. You should be focusin’ on how to get back to the 19th century. Seems a more pressin’ situation to get back to where you’re from..”

Leopold grins at your response, standing with his hands clasped behind his back as he listens to you. He question softly, his eyes fixed on you.

“Perhaps it is a pressing matter to get back to one’s home, but what about yourself? Earlier this evening, you asked about my own accent, but now I am wondering about yours.”

Turning away from him, you go to the large sink. You turn on the water, starting to wash the dishes, not noticing Leopold coming beside you. You stare down at the dishes as you respond, “I’m from Georgia.”

He nods, humming with sincerity. He goes to open his mouth to ask another question, but you turn to him, holding up a soapy hand to stop him. “Y’know you don’t have to stay here, I can’t pay you. You should be goin’ on your way.”

He shakes his head with a neutral smile on his face. He stands with his hands clasped behind his back as he leans forward towards you. “Perhaps. However, I simply cannot leave you to close and clean the cafe by yourself. It wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me.”

You wipe your hands on your apron and they find their way to your hips. Your southern accent slips out heavily, frustration evident. “I assure you, I’m fine. You should be goin’ on your way Mr...” You pause, hoping for him to repeat his name.

“—Sir Leopold Mountbatten.” Leopold raises an eyebrow at your stubborn insistence, amused by your southern character. He continues, his voice lifting with a smile.

“And I have no doubt you can handle closing up on your own, my lady. But that does not mean you should have to.” He pushes off the doorframe, taking a step closer to you.

"Please, allow me to help. I cannot leave knowing you'll be here for the next few hours, finishing up all by yourself."

You almost smile at his insistence, but push it down. You walk past him towards the heavy, brown door which leads to the main entrance. You open the door with a grunt and hold it open for him. With a small smile, you place your hands on your hips. The twang comes out of your voice when you speak softly to him.

“Well, yes you can and you will. Thanks for the offer, hon…” Leopold looks at you with a mixture of disappointment and acceptance in his eyes. He nods, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Very well, my lady. If you're certain you don't need any aid, I shall take my leave then."

He takes an unnecessary large step in your direction before pausing in front of you, his eyes lingering on your face for a moment. Without a word, he lowers himself into a deep bow, his eyes never leaving your face.

"Farewell, my lady."

Your eyes narrow with confusion as he bows, but you nod and laugh softly in response. “Bye-bye Leopold…”

You watch as he hesitantly walks through the door to the main entrance. He turns back to you with doe eyes, giving you another opportunity for you to accept his offer, then leaves when you shake your head with a smile.

Leopold gives a final wave before stepping outside, the heavy cafe door closing slowly behind him. He pauses for a moment outside, gazing at your silhouette through the glass, a hint of reluctance in his eyes.

With a resigned sigh, he forces himself to turn away from the cafe, his footsteps heavy as he starts walking down the sidewalk. He mentally scolds himself for his impulsiveness and foolishness.

While you clean, you think of the strange man. You wish you accepted his offer. Or his telegram number.. you laugh to yourself at your stupid joke as you continue to scrub the counters.

Hours later, you finally finish. Grabbing your purse, you go to your house, and fall into a deep sleep. Filled with dreams of the 19th century and a man who is almost 150 + years older than you, you sleep more peacefully than you ever had before.

For Leopold, as the evening descends on the city, he finds himself unable to sleep. His mind is consumed with thoughts of the lady from the cafe. He tosses and turns in his bed, the events of the day replaying in his mind over and over again.

He wonders what she is doing at the moment. Is she asleep in her bed? Is she also lying awake, thinking about him? The questions plague his mind as he continues to lie in bed, struggling to find rest.

With a frustrated sigh, Leopold finally sits up in his bed. He throws the covers off and gets up, pacing restlessly in his room. The clock ticks loudly in the background, mocking his insomnia. He runs a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the thoughts of the lady that seem to be etched in his mind.

As the next day approaches, you continue your routine. You get out of bed, your feet cold against the unwelcoming tile of your small apartment. As you walk towards the kitchen, you continue your morning routine; making breakfast, showering, changing, and leaving.

When you finally make your way to the cafe, your anxious and somewhat excited. Secretly, you hope the mysterious man from the past comes back.

As the sun slowly rises, Leopold has still not gotten any sleep. He spent the rest of the night pacing in his room, his thoughts consumed by you. Eventually, he gave up on sleep, seeing as he wouldn't be able to get any.

While he goes about his day, his thoughts still drift back to you. He finds himself missing the warmth and homeliness of the cafe. He knows that he shouldn't, but he can't help it. He decides to pay the cafe another visit, hoping to see you again.

a/n: hey you guys, lemme know what you think pls !! i love Leopold so much so i am so excited to write more (he is my Mr. Darcy) also don’t forget i take requests.. anyways lemme know if u want a pt. 2 💕

[merwgue]

Cassian and Mor’s relationship is one of the more baffling dynamics in the ACOTAR series. The emotional and psychological complexity, combined with their outright failure to establish boundaries, creates a toxic cycle that affects not only them but those around them, especially Nesta and Azriel. Let’s break down the layers of dysfunction and toxicity in their relationship:

Cassian’s Conflicting Feelings for Mor

1. Cassian’s Obsession with Mor: Despite claiming to see Mor as a "sister," Cassian’s actions contradict this on multiple levels. He constantly defers to her, listens to her, and essentially worships her, giving her power over him that goes beyond a normal sibling-like relationship. This level of deference to Mor is particularly troubling when you consider his supposed bond with Nesta.

The Issue with Nesta: In 800 pages of A Court of Silver Flames, Cassian doesn’t tell Nesta that he ever had feelings for Mor or that there was a confusing dynamic there. Hiding this from Nesta, who’s supposed to be his mate, creates a deep foundation of dishonesty. If Cassian really saw Nesta as his equal and mate, why wouldn’t he be more forthcoming about his past with Mor? It’s a massive breach of trust.

2. Not Defending His Mate: When Mor suggested that Nesta be sent to Hewn City, a place she knows is hell for women, Cassian just agrees with her. The fact that he doesn’t defend Nesta, his mate, from such a terrible fate says a lot about his priorities and loyalty. If he truly cared for Nesta, he would have stood up for her against Mor, but instead, he goes along with Mor’s suggestion. This is not just a minor oversight; it speaks to his lack of respect and protection for Nesta, the woman he’s supposed to be bonded to.

Mor’s Manipulative Behavior

1. Using Cassian to Deter Azriel: Mor’s sexuality is complex, and while it’s understandable that she doesn’t want to hurt Azriel with the truth of her bisexuality, her continued use of Cassian as a shield is incredibly damaging.

Leading Azriel On: Mor knows full well that Azriel has feelings for her, yet she doesn’t put a stop to it. Instead, she uses Cassian as a way to keep Azriel at bay without having to address the real issue. This is manipulative and shows a lack of emotional maturity on Mor’s part. By leading Azriel on, she’s effectively psychologically torturing him, allowing him to believe there’s hope when she knows there isn’t.

2. Impact on Friendships: Mor’s behavior has ruined the dynamic between Azriel and Cassian. By constantly using Cassian to divert Azriel’s attention, she’s driving a wedge between the two friends. Azriel is left heartbroken and confused, while Cassian is complicit in the manipulation. The emotional toll this takes on all of them is enormous, and it’s a huge part of why this relationship dynamic is so toxic.

The Destructive Power Dynamic

1. Mor’s Control Over Cassian: Mor’s influence over Cassian is clear—he constantly defers to her, even over his mate, and prioritizes her feelings and opinions. This gives Mor an uncomfortable amount of control over Cassian’s actions, even when it’s to the detriment of his relationship with Nesta. This imbalance in power leads to further dysfunction, where Cassian is torn between loyalty to Mor and his bond with Nesta.

2. Lack of Boundaries: The fact that there are no clear boundaries between Mor and Cassian’s relationship is what makes it so volatile. Mor continues to use Cassian when it suits her, and Cassian is unable (or unwilling) to set boundaries that would protect his relationship with Nesta or his friendship with Azriel. Without these boundaries, the entire inner circle becomes entangled in a toxic web of unspoken feelings and unresolved tensions.

Emotional Fallout

Nesta’s Marginalization: Cassian’s inability to prioritize Nesta over Mor, or even stand up for her, marginalizes Nesta in the worst way. She’s left feeling unsupported and dismissed, while Mor continues to hold an elevated status in Cassian’s life. This is not the foundation of a healthy mate bond.

Azriel’s Pain: Mor’s manipulation of Azriel is nothing short of emotional torture. Azriel is left in limbo, constantly yearning for something that will never happen, and instead of addressing the issue head-on, Mor keeps him at arm’s length, leaving him emotionally fractured.

---

Conclusion: A Relationship Built on Dysfunction

Cassian and Mor’s relationship is rife with manipulation, dishonesty, and a lack of boundaries, creating an environment that’s toxic for everyone involved. Cassian’s failure to defend Nesta, coupled with Mor’s manipulation of both Cassian and Azriel, has created a destructive cycle that harms everyone around them. Rather than being a relationship built on trust or loyalty, it’s one marked by emotional confusion, power imbalances, and psychological damage. This dynamic ultimately undermines Cassian’s supposed bond with Nesta and Mor’s friendships, creating an ever-present cloud of dysfunction within the inner circle.

Ty @litnerdwrites for letting me use your post as inspo❤️❤️❤️

[ecoterrorist-katara]

Katara would’ve been such a good diplomat (it’s canon)

everyone rightfully hates on the ATLA comics because the politics are baffling and the characterization is even more so…but if there’s one thing we can take away from the dumpster fire that is The Promise, it’s that Katara was BORN to be a diplomat and an international force for peace, okay? Especially since her besties, the Avatar and the Fire Lord, aren’t actually very good at this.

If you haven’t read The Promise, the Wikipedia summary is pretty good. The TL;DR is that Zuko and Kuei agree that the Fire Nation colonies need to be returned to the Earth Kingdom. The colony of Yu Dao is not happy about this because the people of the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom have been mixing together (under inequitable conditions) for more than a hundred years and “just kick out the Fire Nation” is not as straightforward as it seems, since there are blended families now. Zuko refuses to kick out the Fire Nation people from Yu Dao, Kuei wants to play hardball, and they almost launch another war. Oh and there’s a weird plot about Aang debating whether to put Zuko down like a rabid dog

For all that the Wiki page does a good job of summarizing the events, it forgets some key facts: 

It’s Katara who first starts thinking about new solutions after witnessing the situation on the ground, and then comes up with the idea that Zuko and Kuei should meet and talk about the colonies:

It’s Katara who tells Kuei that Zuko has legitimate concerns (without saying that Zuko is right), when Aang tries to hedge and sugarcoat the truth: 

And it’s Katara who says to Kuei, wait, what the hell do you mean that you have no idea what your people want, that Yu Dao is just a dot on the map for you? We’re getting you out of this stupid blimp and you’re gonna talk to people before you make a decision that affects their lives, you coward

To recap, Katara demonstrates some pretty freaking key political skills, like: 

finding out what people want before making a decision for them 

seeing people as people first and foremost, not as fire nation or earth kingdom 

encouraging her loved ones, the Avatar and the Fire Lord, to resolve a conflict by beginning negotiations instead of brawling like a couple of drunks at a bar / kids on the playground (both analogies fit btw, 13-17 is a weird combination of ages)  

realistically reporting tricky disagreements without sweeping them under the rug

kidnapping a king to the middle of a battlefield to give him a reality check about listening to the people he’s trying to rule

Anyway, Katara is hyper competent at both war AND peace! We see this in the show, with her compassion for the prisoners of the Earth Kingdom (by inciting a prison riot) and the suffering people of the Fire Nation (by committing ecoterrorism), only now that compassion is backed up not only by her fighting prowess and speeches about hope, but actual ability to manipulate the levers of power. 

And have I mentioned that she has the ears of both the Avatar and the Fire Lord and her dad is Chief of the Southern Water Tribe? Even if Katara didn’t get a diplomat position based on her skills, or her status as a war hero, she could nepo baby her way in. The fact that she does not pick up a career in international diplomacy is a crime & a colossal oversight from the creators. At minimum you know Katara would’ve established Healers Without Borders or something. She deserves to be yelling at people at ATLA UN and then drafting world-changing resolutions. 

And as a bonus, Katara demonstrates her gift for diplomacy by not smacking Zuko up the head for attempting to legitimize colonization through the argument of economic progress…

…and by not smacking Aang up the head for seriously considering anti-miscegenation as a viable political solution: 

This patience is a new development because show!Katara did not have this in her, but maybe this is what growing up is all about and not just yet another strike on the “comics are wildly OOC” tally

TL;DR: ATLA boys lost their brain cells post-canon. All hail Katara, Sugar Queen of international diplomacy. 

[seimsisk]

so I did some reading on the Unity debacle and decided to make a short summary/review.

In case you haven't heard, Unity has announced a new way of charging devs for the use of their platform, in which devs could be charged a small fee for every time a user installs the game. This applies to games that have more than $200k yearly revenue and 200k lifetime downloads, and it would start counting at the beginning of next year. It's being received by devs as a major breach of trust and a reason to abandon unity altogether. The most egregious aspects of the change are:

1 - The fee will add an extra cost to games and projects that already had their costs planned for and paid for. For some games, this could mean that the whole project becomes untenable, but if the game is already in development or even already published, the devs can't do anything about it. It's like "oh shit, this game was planned to pay for itself but now it will not only not do that as it might also cost us money for years to come"

2- the change is sudden enough that devs that subscribe to Unity Pro and above can't even change their contracts with unity before it starts applying.

3- The charge is a fixed value per install, regardless of how big the game is or how much it costs. A game that costs $20 to buy has the same fee as a $1 game or a free game. This obviously unfairly punishes small games and free games and also discourages devs from trying to reach a wider audience.

4- Devs don't actually control installs, so this added cost would be not only unpredictable but completely out of control of the paying party, unless everyone starts adding DRM-like limitations to their games.

5- When asked how the installs will be counted, Unity answered basically "through secret proprietary means". So Unity wants basically tell devs what they owe with no oversight, and devs are supposed to accept it.

I'm baffled that any of this could possibly be considered legal.

[hms-no-fun]

I know you said you're cautiously optimistic about HS2, but the newest blog post has me kinda worried. The talk of "fixing the fans broken trust" and how even the new writers don't like a lot of story decisions that were made by the old team seem really off to me, like it's throwing the old team under the bus. I want to expect good things from HS2 but when the people working on it don't seem to like the story as it stands right now it really just seems like they might bend over backwards to appease the shitty side of the fandom. What do you think about this whole thing?

this is in reference to the october 30th 2023 news update on the hs:bc website. i give the date because the news posts don't seem to have individual links atm, so if you're reading this in the future you might have to scroll back.

to your worry that the new team might bend over backwards to appease the shitty side of the fandom, i wrote at length in my prior hs:bc post about why i don't think that's gonna be a problem. i'd also caution against reading too much into what james says about the attitude of the hs:bc team at large, for reasons that should be apparent by the end of this post.

i think it's perfectly reasonable to take a diplomatic position towards a fandom that is historically very hostile to this continuation. a lot of people haven't read the epilogues/hs2 and hate on them anyway because of what they've been told they contain, and refuse to question those received opinions on principle. many who did read them seem to have been inattentive or otherwise needlessly aggressive, sometimes owing to a baffling refusal to accept the premise of postcanon. plenty of others maybe just need a reason to think that homestuck is for them again. for this project to succeed, the fandom at large needs to be given a reason to revisit the epilogues/hs2 from a position of safety and critical distance. i have my own barbed opinions about this state of affairs, but it is what it is.

i understand and to an extent share your misgivings over that Q&A post, but it simply is not james roach's job to relitigate the conduct of the hs2 team. to even broach the subject in more than a general sense would constitute the opening of a massive can of worms, because the truth is muddy. mistakes were made on all sides, some worse than others, and to really contextualize where the hs2 team were coming from you'd need to explain the history of the hs fandom, the leadership of the reddit/discord, the overall tenor of twitter post-2016 and especially leading into/during 2020, the history of pgen and the homestuck renaissance, the lack of PR training or oversight or guidance from anyone at WP, the history of audience hostility in homestuck, and on, and on. for what it's worth, i think that context is essential-- but i don't know that anyone working on this project ought to be the ones to tell it (nor do i think they want that responsibility), and a brief casual Q&A post as a halloween treat is certainly not the place to publish it.

and ultimately, none of that has much at all to do with hs:bc. they are not beholden to or responsible for the choices made by the hs2 team. they have been entrusted with the reins of this story, and with that trust comes their own admitted desire to take it in different directions than what was initially planned. the hs2 team did this to the outline andrew hussie gave them; it's only fair that the hs:bc team has the same leeway over the outline they inherited. acknowledging fault in prior leadership, admitting disagreement over past creative decisions, is an olive branch to a largely skeptical fandom. i bristle at some of this because the hs2 team were my friends and i'm very protective of their work and that moment in history, but that isn't james roach's (nor the hs:bc team's) cross to bear. his choice, as the new public face of homestuck, is to move forward rather than linger on the past. it's good that he's burying the hatchet, frankly. i'm sick of that fucking thing.

love it or hate it, agree or disagree, the hs:bc crew has to exercise diplomacy right now. they've reopened the patreon and want to sustain this project for the foreseeable future, ideally without subjecting the workers to intensely traumatic levels of scrutiny and harassment. this involves clearing up miscommunications, admitting fault, gesturing at shared disagreements over story direction, and otherwise putting on a friendly face for strangers. and let's be clear, i know for a fact that plenty on the original hs2 team had a panoply of disagreements with the choices made in the epilogues! the operative condition here is not unquestioning devotion to / hatred of prior material, but a willingness to build upon that prior material constructively regardless. that's what matters most to me, and i have every reason to believe they're taking the constructive route.

i'll end this saying what i've been saying from the start. the measure of this project's success or failure should be taken in the work itself. if james roach blanket dismissed the prior team, but hs:bc constructively evolved in a way that didn't invalidate or undercut prior material, i'd still consider us oldschool hs2 fans the winners. i wouldn't be HAPPY about it, but the art is what we're all here for, and it's the art that people will remember. i think often about how the showrunners of the tv series LOST insisted from day one until the very end that everything in the show had a scientific explanation, despite the fact that they *always knew* this was a bald-faced lie. they told this lie because ABC did not want to fund a fantasy show and would've canceled it otherwise. some fans to this day decry the lack of scientific explanations in the text of the show, even when you point out that the promise of such explanations was false from the start.

point is, there are material realities to leading a creative enterprise. james roach has put himself in a genuinely dangerous and scary position, a fact that's easy to forget with how casual and welcoming his posts have been thus far. but this is perhaps the single most mismanaged property of the internet age, and there's no walking that back without stepping on some toes. over-correction is expected and probably necessary. if it ruffles your feathers, that's fine-- but let the work speak for itself, and judge it on its own merits. all this other stuff is ancillary and will inevitably fade into the distant fog of time.

[bricreative]

Thoughts on Life is Strange: Double Exposure so far (SPOILERS) because I think about this stupid series way too much

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings. Some of it’s good, but I’m mostly just sad and disappointed about the whole thing. I’ll try to keep it just about the game, but I also want to talk about the build up, how the marketing (so far) has mislead fans about certain choices and characters, how fans have been teetering on harassment to the devs, and what I’m hoping for in the chapters 3-5.

I'm sure there are others out there who can articulate these points better than I can and I'll probably repeat said points, but if you want to see a rare ramble from me, here are my thoughts, either in full paragraphs or bullet points ->

EDIT: Leaks are already coming out so half the shit I say in this probably doesn’t even matter 🙃

Early access has been out for more than a week now and I was only able to finish parts of it until I had to go on vacation. Parts of the story were spoiled for me before I got around to finishing the second chapter. So any “ twist” or revelation that did occur wasn’t as exciting as it could’ve been. And that’s mostly on me because I never really feel the need to block words/tags to avoid spoilers, unless I actually cared about said story.

And well, as much as I try to give Deck Nine some grace, the outlook for this game wasn't looking great to begin with…

Like the fucking break up with Max and Chloe?? While it wasn't a total shocker, the marketing has been leading towards that, it still left me heartbroken that this is how it's playing out. I was trying to be hopeful (delusional) that maybe they were going to do the long distance route. I thought that just made the most sense. I thought that’s why they were only releasing the first two chapters.

(I also know it was to get people to buy the ultimate edition, I know, I know)

I can see a route where taking some time apart could make sense given the overwhelming guilt, pain, trauma they obviously faced. But the way Chloe is currently written just feels so ooc? I don’t think she would’ve thrown so much shit Max’s way, especially about her rewind powers. I would think given it's been 10 years after the events of Arcadia Bay, she would trust Max completely. It’s also crazy considering Deck 9 made a whole ass prequel game revolving around Chloe?? And made a cute DLC with Max and Chloe as kids. It’s just baffling me how they’re treating her character.

I wonder what the reason was for not including Chloe more into the story. Did Square not want her in it at all? Did they even attempt to try and bring Ashley Burch back? I figured, they probably couldn’t get her to reprise the role full time, so maybe they opted her for a part time role, or a meaningful cameo. Are they hiding Chloe because they only have Rhianna and they’re afraid of disappointment/ backlash? 

And now we have lines from the original game redubbed by her, so it’s looking more and more like that’s the case. It’ll be Rhianna...

And look, I don’t hate her or her performance in Before the Storm, I’m just not crazy about it. She has some powerful scenes in it for sure, but I do think it is the weakest game of the series. At the end of the day, Ashley will always be Chloe, and she has the best chemistry/dynamic with Hannah Telle.

It doesn’t help that we barely know what happened in between the events of LIS and DE. It’s crazy to me that the writers didn’t even bother to put simple dates on text messages, some journal entries, etc. They have in the previous games, why not now? Are they hiding something or was it just an oversight or lack of care? And don’t get me started on the artwork in this journal....

It’s not bad but it's SO not Max’s style. It’s so cartoony? She’s writing less and less. What would’ve been cool to see is a portfolio of all of her previous work so far. She would’ve had SO much from traveling the country? Such a missed opportunity. AND an actual photo mode, hello?? What we have right now is kinda lackluster

I don't like that this series is becoming a glorified dating sim.The romances that did work in the past were built off of genuine connection and chemistry? They just jump right into this one?? 

While I actually do like Amanda, I can see them working in a BAY route only

Max would not go for a guy like Vinh in any timeline. Holy fuck, he’s so gross

It's just so obvious they had to shoehorn his romance route last minute

At this point, i'm agreeing with the argument that Max is a lesbian rather than a bisexual (even though I love the pattern that all lis protags are bi)

Or better yet, we don't have to go the romance route at all

I know all fandoms are annoying but the way certain fans have been acting towards the official accounts/ developers has been frustrating to witness?? I'm not saying you can't be critical, especially when it's on your own personal posts/accounts, but it's getting to the point where y'all are harassing them for every little fucking thing. I don't know, I just don’t have the energy to pester or harass accounts this fucking much. Don’t yall have better things to do? There are bigger things going on in the world

Focus all of that energy into creating art, writing, etc.

Remember that these characters are made up, it is a game

There’s a difference between thoughtfully criticizing and just plain bashing people

While I do think it’s frustrating, I can kinda understand why Square/D9 decided to be cagey about Chloe’s appearance. They’re walking a thin tightrope right now

There have been issues revolving around leaks even before the official announcement of the game came out AND there are leaks going around as we speak

They went the Last of Us II marketing route and essentially tricked people, yes. It sucks, it’s frustrating, I get wanting to build hype, any press is good press I guess

Maybe Chloe will have a bigger role in the later chapters? I’m more than prepared to eat my words but I’d rather maintain a little bit of hope here

I also think it's important to point out the things that I do like, at least to keep me sane:

The performances, especially from the first chapter, are pretty strong! Particularly from Safi, Max, Amanda, and Moses. Like that performance capture technology doesn't get talked about enough! The level of detail, the expressions, it’s incredible! You don't even see that in AAA games sometimes!

I do love that D9 brings in talent from outside the gaming industry, really makes the performances feel well rounded. True Colors did this very well, especially with Erika Mori

The doppelgänger power that’s being hinted at is SO cool imo. Every time I think that there aren’t any other worthwhile powers they can bring into this world, they surprise me. I’m interested to see where they’ll take it

Maybe they’ll do something fucky with Bay/Bae route. It’s hinted that timelines are overlapping. Maybe something crazy will happen.

What if we encounter multiple Max's (again) maybe another Chloe, were already jumping between timelines

Maybe they’ll bring Rachel back, maybe the doppelgänger ruined Max and Chloe’s relationship. We don’t know!

And look, I love this series. That much is obvious. The brain rot has always been there. I can joke and jest that this new story makes me sad and depressed, (even my playlist that I made is hitting different knowing that they broke up Max and Chloe,) but at the end of the day it's a GAME

I feel like I need to reiterate this for people but the game is still not fully out yet! I, at least, want to reserve some judgment before I fully decide how I feel about the game. Maybe they’ll surprise us, maybe Chloe will show up in the later chapters, maybe there will be a positive twist.

If it doesn’t turn out that way then that’s fine too! There are other games and comics and books to fall back on. There is so much more to this series than just Max and Chloe. I wish more people would realize that and give the other games a real chance

[intermundia]

Hey, I saw your critic about the latest Star Wars show. As a pro Jedi fan which Star Wars show would you recommend? I only saw OWK because I love Obikin. <3

tbh i think the short answer is that the earlier seasons of the clone wars (2008) are your best bet for canon, and the legends clone wars (2003) for flavor. i'm racking my brain but... that's about it. none of the disney+ shows for adults are really very friendly to the jedi order (except obi-wan), most of them are set during the period where it is already gone, and few of them seem to mourn its loss.

the showrunner dave filoni, without lucas's oversight, does not tend to flatter the order in his stories. his characters are at odds with the order, or deny being part of it, that sort of thing. he thinks qui-gon and ahsoka are better than temple jedi, despite being pretty consistent to them ideologically. kanen and ezra in rebels are obviously not part of the order, ahsoka says loudly that she is no jedi in rebels, and the ahsoka show was baffling and frustrating. the brief appearance of luke in the mandalorian was disappointing.

other than filoni's shows.. not many other options exist that have jedi in them. there were no jedi in andor, and the order doesn't exist during the bad batch. the acolyte frankly felt like an order hit piece. if you want good jedi content, you pretty much have to read it about it in books and comics.

(or, well, the young jedi adventures lmao which are a series of moral parables for preschoolers, but at least the life lessons taught like compassion and self-discipline accurately reflect the values of the order and the show depicts the order in a good light. i can't in good conscience recommend it for adults as watching it can give you a headache and there's no depth of plot, but it's nice to know there IS an age demographic that gets to enjoy the jedi and have force adventures. it's just... apparently reserved for 5 year olds. adults don't get to have fun lol)

[everybody-loves-purdy]

FLOATSHIMMER IS WAY TO YOUNG TO BE HAVING KITS WHAT. Bloompetal (who is OLDER than her) was literally stated to have recently had kits. What. WHAT???

It’s baffling, it’s not even like the Erins have just not established a clear timeline, the timeline is very clear and everyone else conforms to it?

It’s Quilfeather being the father of Kite and Turtle somehow all over again… except worse because this is way more obvious while that one could more easily be due to timeline oversight!

[radiation]

Video games talk dont even mind me

Bro video games as a whole are so far behind movies in terms of storytelling and pacing that it’s kind of baffling. Which of course is obvious and makes sense for plenty of reasons but like, just think about it — watching movies a lot can’t help but train a certain muscle that gives you a strong instinct for structure. I find that people who watch movies very casually, without too much artistic consideration, and don’t really know the language associated with it are still very often irked by specific issues with a movie’s pacing, dialogue, etc and are relatively capable of putting it into words. Likewise, for many movies out there, regardless of your opinions on any specific directorial choices, you do feel as if the movie is essentially cohesive and creatives involved reasonably knew what they were doing and were acting very intentionally, and there weren’t any major oversights. This includes independent films as well. Meanwhile I think both players and developers much more commonly lack the instinct for narrative cohesion when it comes to video games. Definitely a fair amount of exceptions to this, but in general I find it’s difficult to find video games that are very narrative heavy & aspire to great artistic heights that don’t suffer from inherent structural problems, pedantic dialogue, tons of dead air, etc in a way that wouldn’t slide as easily in a movie. A lot these flaws certainly have to be due to the presence of gameplay elements and having to balance that with story when the two are almost always, at least in some small respect, inherently at odds. As for the inability for devs and players to pick up on / fix these flaws…is it because gameplay can distract from it and make up for it? With longer games that have runtimes closer to the experience of a television series, is there a similar reaction where if it’s long enough you will sit thru smaller, momentary issues because you enjoy the bigger picture? Yet games are a lot more engaging than a show as a audio, visual, and tactile experience, you can’t multitask and tune the information out as easily as with a boring episode of a show, so you’d think people would be more picky? But maybe because it’s so attention-demanding people are more immersed, and believe in the experience enough to more easily accept the story? Books demand the same kind of active attention to experience though, and the bar for story in books is a lot higher, so what gives? Well a lot of these have kind of obvious answers but still Interesting questions to ask that lead to Damn , That Is Still Crazy How Much This Shit Is In Its Infancy like sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy with how many writing issues are present in games, particularly in indie games that are Trying To Be Good At Writing that feel excessively obvious and yet I often struggle to find my sentiment mirrored by others. IDK. And back to movies the thing is I feel like if the same people trying to write these kind of games had pursued movies instead then they would’ve ended up making well structured movies that avoided all of these pitfalls. WHAT IS IT WITH GAMES? Well we know what it is with games and we could spend all day discussing a million more reasons this is the way it is but no matter what I think we should just be super conscientious of these pitfalls when making narrative focused games and aspire to a greater level of intentionality that is absolutely possible . Build that muscle by really understanding the quality of storytelling long-present in other mediums.Well the other issue with indie devs is that everyone believes they are totally breaking new ground story wise that they don’t take a step back, humble themselves a bit, and cross-reference what they’re doing with the tons of other stories that have already achieved similar things But thats a conversation for another day .

[citrinegay]

The result of what happens when you cast people for your show that is sometimes a musical but you don’t ask if any of them know how to sing <3

Edit: I have been informed that Veronica sings ladies who lunch at Toni and Fangs wedding party NOT a Barchie engagement party. Sorry for this oversight.