#Your literally discouraging me from watching that's how hard it is

[smugraccoon137]

I want to thank peacock for making an app that is literally impossible to navigate

An app that is so confusing to find the thing I'm looking for I will literally give up

An app that makes it impossible to go back more than 10 seconds because I will find myself at the beginning of the episode

An app that crashes during every live event

You guys really did it. This is the worst one

[chuluoyi]

studying for dummies

- fushiguro megumi x reader

you have an important exam coming up and are having a hard time to study. luckily, your boyfriend knows how to make you feel better

genre/warnings: college au, total fluff !!!

notes: i love writing college aus for megumi bc he never got the chance to in that cursed manga called jjk :') to the nonnie who asked for this, i knew i have to write it when i received your ask ehe <3

general masterlist

"Why is this so hard..."

Megumi turned to you, sliding his headphones off with a questioning look when he heard you sigh once again, plopping your head down on the textbook. "What if I don't make it? What if I have to repeat a year? Ugh..."

Megumi continued to stare at you, with a flat expression. "So long as you study, you'll pass."

You threw him a sullen look, irked. "I know that! But studying itself is hard!"

The graduation exam was fast approaching and everyone in your grade was losing their head for a reason. Well, not your boyfriend though. While you were busy cramming your poor brain with ethics and physics in his apartment, Megumi was leisurely stuffing his ears with his headphones and catching up to the latest chapter of his favorite manga, without any care of the impending doom.

"You have to take breaks," he scolded then, truly meaning well. "You can't go on without food or rest. And don't overthink it, I'm sure you'll—"

"That's easy for you to say, Megumi—you're a natural genius," you interjected, crestfallen. The stress of failing several tryouts just got to you before you realized it. "Unlike you, I'm a dummy. I have to actually study."

Megumi remained quiet, watching as you turned back to your textbook, determined to give it another shot. Seeing your discouraged expression, something in his heart softened slightly.

And in that moment, he knew what he had to do to lift your spirits up.

He walked over to the little kitchen in his apartment to whip you some lunch, and throughout it all, you were still fixated on your studies, occasionally talking to yourself.

"Can Yuji even solve this problem...? I can take being called dumb but surely I can't be worse than him!"

Megumi found it amusing that you used his best friend as your benchmark for passing. Your way of expressing it brought out a low chuckle from him. How adorable.

Many were wondering what made him to date you—Fushiguro Megumi was always on the top of his class, stoic and indifferent, while you were just... you, a go-getter with cheerful personality that made up most of your academic shortcomings.

To Megumi, you were like a ball of sunshine that he didn't know he needed though. And now, wanted to protect.

While you were still lost in your thoughts and tangled up in physics concepts, he came back to you, gently patting your shoulder. "Hey, I made lunch. Want to join me?"

And needless to say, your eyes lit up with literal stars as you whipped your head towards him. "Yeah!"

Seeing you that excited made something inside Megumi soar. He had always been fond of your smiling face. Watching the fatigue melted a bit from you as you sat down in front of him, a subtle smile found its way onto his lips as well.

"Ooh, hotpot! Megumi, thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah..."

"Mmm! This is tasty!"

"Mm-hmm, have your fill."

You were giddy as you finished your lunch. It was evident that he had prepared the hotpot with your preferences in mind, choosing almost all of your favorite ingredients.

And you were feeling daring now that you knew that he was keeping you in his thoughts.

"Megumi, if I can score higher than 70% in that exam..." you started, smile gradually widening. "Can we celebrate it by going on an overnight trip to Kyushu afterwards? You know... just a little something to look forward to..."

Your boyfriend immediately fixed you with his unwavering gaze, even with his cheeks still filled with rice. But he didn't dwell on it long as he nodded lightly. "Sure."

"Really?!" you beamed, totally bursting with excitement. "Eeep! Megumi! You’re the best!"

How could he ever say no to you when your eyes were literally shimmering with glitters? Megumi never had it in him to. And hey, a trip for two to commemorate your graduation sounded so nice too, it was actually making him eager.

And so, with your tummy full and energy recharged, you enthusiastically redid your mock-up exam. And when you got 90% this time, Megumi actually initiated the first move and pulled you into his lap, giving you a light smooch on the cheek.

“Whoa...” you were so ready to tease him, poking his pink-tinted cheeks. “Do I get a kiss for every mock-up exam well done now?”

He huffed—flushing, turning away with slight frown. “To give you something to look forward to, remember?”

[carlsangel]

CARL GRIMES HEADCANONS

(for midsize!adhd!fem!reader.)

tags:fluff! some suggestiveness

masterlist here!

hiii this is for one of my fav moots @elisiassideb1tch ILYY

✦ Carl would watch you stare at yourself in the mirror after getting dressed, rotating back and forth to see how your clothes fit you. He knows how much you can over think and how self conscious you could get and as much as he loves you, he hates it. So, he’ll come up behind you and snake his arms around your waist, pulling you back against him. His hug is tight and loving but he’ll places kisses all over the back and side of your neck as he tells you how beautiful you are.

✦ He would always remind you to take your meds and to ensure you don’t forget, he’ll drag you to the kitchen everyday at a specific time. He’d get you a snack beforehand and when it’s time to take your pills he sits you up on top of the counter. He’ll get you a large glass of water and your meds and stand between your knees as he watches you swallow them, his hands running back and forth over your thighs. He’ll tell you how proud of you he is and kiss all over your face.

✦ Whenever you get really overwhelmed or panicked, he’ll sit you down wherever you are and remind you to breathe. He’ll gently rub your arms or your thighs, just watching you. Once you catch your breath he’ll reassure you sweetly. “You’re okay, everything’s okay. It’s just you and me. Nothing else.” Once you’re completely calm he’ll ask once again if you’re alright. When you nod he’ll hold your face in his hands and place a gentle kiss to your forehead.

✦ If you get irritated at him or any situation, you’ll isolate yourself. He’ll wait somewhere nearby so you know he still cares about you and cares about fixing the situation. He’ll either sit on the opposite side of the bed, maybe the opposite side of the room or the door. He’ll wait for you to come to him first and when you do he’ll ask if you’re ready to talk about it. If not he’ll just sit in your presence a bit longer until you are.

✦ In bed if you guys are relaxing or if you’re coming down from certain activities, he’ll tend to run his hand over your belly. He absolutely loves it. He loves the squishy skin, he loves kissing it and feeling you. He also knows how much you hate it which makes him love it even more. He especially loves doing it when you get cramps.

✦ When I tell you, this man ADORES your thighs. He absolutely loves them. He could be doing anything at all and he could be touching your thighs, holding them, literally anything. Whenever you’re anxious he’ll squeeze them gently, sometimes a bit hard to try and soothe you. He lovesssss kissing them when you guys get really intimate, occasionally he’ll leave hickeys on them too. Whenever you’re relaxing he’ll rest his head on them because they’re like plush pillows to him.

✦ Carl knows you hate being alone, a lot of the time when you’re alone you tend to overthink and he hates it. He’ll drag you with him everywhere. He has to go on perimeter watch? He’ll take you to keep him company. He wants to go to the woods? He’ll take you with him. Even the other way around, if you wanna go somewhere he’ll follow you. He loves to be with you always, you’re his favorite person.

✦ He’s always able to tell when you’ve hit a depressive episode. He thinks of all your favorite things but he knows how much being outside can help you. He’ll help you get showered up and ready to go out. He’ll take you out on walks, especially at night so you guys can be alone. You’ll watch the stars together and he’d tell you how much he loves you over and over.

✦ He’ll always listen to you and never discourage you. He understands how your brain works and he sort of adapted himself to systems that you use to make your life easier just so he can help you better handle your adhd. He almost never tells you no to anything, if he has to put up a boundary he’ll do it very gently and reassure you that you didn’t do anything wrong in any way. He makes sure you don’t feel bad etc.

a/n: MADSSS THANK U FOR REQUESTING you’re request is so sweet and so well put together ilysm >_< i’m sosososo sorry these took forever to get out but they were really fun for me to write!!! i actually am realizing now i like writing headcanons HAHAH okay that’s all bye<3

tag list: @zomb-1-egutzz @lunarnightt @ilikestrawberriesandwomen @hiro--aoki @h00d-tr4sh

[threepandas]

Bad End: Lost at Star Sea

It was sheer luck I even glanced down. Stopped, longed enough to doubled check, triple check, my next jump. I didn't really need too. Trusted my ship's computers, (quite literally) with my life. Kinda had too, after so long, out in the sea of stars. So the fact that I paused? Checked? Noticed that stuttering little signal at all?

Really, it could only be luck.

Good, bad, a miracle or disaster in the making? Couldn't tell ya.

But I DID notice. And I DID, immediately, hit the override for my cued up jumps to Starline. Because as every pilot worth even a fraction of their soul will tell you? You see an SOS beacon? You fucking ANSWER it.

Yes, pirates pull the "help I'm stuck" trick. And yeah, there are other unscrupulous folks out there. But! That's part of why the bounty hunter's guild and pirate hunter's come down so HARD on those fuckers. If you discourage people from HELPING stranded pilots? People fucking DIE out there.

Cold Void Of Space, remember?

Far as I'm concerned? Old ship rules apply, there are enough horrors, lurking out there. We do NOT need to add to them. All differences are to be kept planet side. THEN you can kill each other.

Thank the stars, I had decided to go the back lanes. Yeah, it added a few extra weeks to my trip, that I couldn't spend on that swanky beach at Starline, but? The "road trip" through the outer edge of the galaxy had been worth it. Plenty of cool sights and fun new foods. And NOW, clearly, the much needed chance to be in the right place at the right time.

Getting my ship in close, I tried to hail the softly free floating wreck. It looked smashed. Like it hit or was struck by something at speed. They had clearly managed to slow themselves, but beyond that? I couldnt see much stabilization. The whole ship sat dark. Not good.

My dash said there was nothing to hail TOO. Fuck. I tried difference frequencies. Maybe they had a hand-held? Earpiece? Something? But I couldn't connect to anything. Find, anything. Shit! Okay. Okay! Plan B. Try to get a registration while I connect us up. Pray to which ever Gods gaurds this one's soul, that they breathe a similar gas mix.

Loading... loading...

Oh, thank FUCK!

Compatible air AND drones, someone up or out there, really DOES want these guys to live! I force myself to be calm. Rushing won't help anybody, but WILL make a mess, after all. Bring up that frustrating drone request program I downloaded on a whim. Watch as, dispite the odds, lights flicker on across the hull of the ship.

Emergency protocols engage. They, obviously, get no counter order. And? Like the beautiful, life saving, little dumbasses they are? Immediately begin to zip and trundle into position to drag the wreckage in towards my ship. Gods bless the collective single IQ point of drones. Good babies. Such good babies!

With a heavy shudder and thunk, we connect.

Already, I am hovering by the latch. Emergency kit in hand. Breather on. The second it's confirmed, I twist the latch and...Oh gods. The air that surges up to greet me is so cold, it BURNS. I hadn't even though I was sweating, hadn't noticed it, until it felt like stabbing flash frozen crystals on my face. Shit! Oh gods, oh SHIT!

I scramble down, ladder burning cold even through my gloves. Red emergency lights and terrible silence greet me. I move quick. Emergencies & Stranding classes echoing in my head. Check the warmest part of the ship first, then work your way out. If they CAN move, they'll know to retreat there.

Registration said the ship had fifteen people. No idea how many survived the impact and cold, but hopefully? All of them. I may not have the room or rations for a comfortable trip. But it'd be warm. And I could get them to a port.

They should be in the central compartment, which is usually critical storage and medbay. Getting there, the door has clearly been forced to slide open by someone with claws and blood on their hands. It couldn't close properly, they bent it getting it open.

Looking down, there... oh gods. There is A LOT of blood on the floor.

Something... someONE? Dragged to storage. Blood trails thick on the floor. There must be a preserver; trying, maybe, to keep their friends from rotting? Might be shock? And they just... couldn't figure out where to put the bodies. I shake my head, tearing my horrified eyes away. Concentrate! Save the living. The dead are already gone. Be sick about it later.

It takes the crowbar I brought, now cold enough to worry me, to force the door to slide again. The room in side is barely warmer then the air outside. But? There, against the far wall? Is just about every clothe and piece of fabric in the ship. Two emergency blankets glinting from withing the chaotic pile.

The only other people in the room are clearly dead. Injuries. He must have tried to treat them but been unable too. Regardless of what happened, I rush forward. Unearthing an unconscious Aqualin from his self made fabric tomb. The colouration might mean he's from the deep water region. But without his eyes or mouth open I can't TELL.

I hope so, his chance of survival would go up tremendously. Dragging the limp, dangerously hypothermic, man onto my shoulders in a fireman's carry, I get us the hell out. His front is stained in blood. His hands coated. Everything that could go wrong? Seems too. But if I have any say, he is NOT dying here.

Dragging us into my now cold ship, I clumsily kick at the latch until I manage to flip it closed. Just for now. I'll have to go back down for those blankets and such, to help get him warm. But first? I get my rescue set up, warming up.

A further few, brutally cold, few trips to loot the ship of what I safely can before I can close that latch for good. Lock away the horrors to be found there. Stacking everything up and off to the side for him. I'm pretty sure I even found his wallet. So at least? He won't be destitute. Then, while the droids transferred the last of the wreck's fuel? I start to bring up the heat back to normal. Slowly.

Once all is said and down, I silence the emergency beacon and send in the mandatory report. Might be a while before a cleaning crew can get out here... but, well... at least those poor bastard's family's would have some closure. Life insurance. That sort if thing.

.....fuck today has been shit.

"Ooooh go on a vacaaaaation~" Everybody said. "You're so overworked!" They had said. "So STRESSED! You definitely won't find a ship full of corpses!" Thanks for that, guys! Having SUCH a great time. No, REALLY.

Detaching from the wreckage is almost... no, IS horrific in how easy it is. It just... float away. Silent, dark, and gentle. A cold bit of nothingness, lost in the void. Sinking into the stars with it's cargo full of dead, like... like nothing happened at all. It looks so small. Just a twisted bit of metal. Drifting... drifting... away....

Even with the heaters bringing the heat back up, I feel cold.

That could have been me.

What the hell happened? I tear my eyes away from the view screen. Back down to the dash board. Standard operating procedure is to grab the black box of a wreck, even if you find no survivors. Helps universal safety innovation and regulatory blah blah blah. Had to drill it into my head to even GET my license. So... so now... there it is. Grabbed.

I... COULD look.

Fiddling with my rescues wallet, I stare at it. It's hella illegal. Breach of privacy. You can't just... just go into someone's ship and poke around. Look up where they've been and who they've been talking too about what. All their data would be on that thing. Soothing MY anxiety is not more important then THEIR boundaries, right? I should leave it.

I flip the wallet open. My rescue's smiling face grins back up at me, like some sort of dork at a photo shoot. He's leaning against an advertisement for, ironically, Starline. Probably the same beach that convinced me to go. All relaxed confidence and swagger, he looks nothing like the half frozen man I dragged from that ship.

My rescue has lost weight. A concerning amount of color. But? Looking at the rich black of the eyes and the point of his teeth? He seem to be either mostly or full blooded Deep Sea Aqualin. Thank FUCK.

There was a celebrity Tropical Region Aqualin a while back that my baby cousin was weirdly obsessed with. Not stalking obsessed, but? The "family is concerned" obsessed, you know? We all ended up learning WAY too much about their entire species. WAY, WAY too much.

Dea Sea Aqualin are apparently just? Built different. Like, "can withstand a degree of pressure and cold and would kill most others" different. The dehydration might still get him, but the cold? Might NOT.

Flipping the wallet closed, I ignore my gut. I don't need to see what's on that black box. Yeah, I'd find out what happened after they lost propulsion. But? Watching doomed men die? That's sick. There's nothing worth finding there. It's just anxiety.

I reset my next jump. The sooner we get to the next port, the sooner my Rescue (X'alus, apparently) can get help. Then? I head back to check on him. I think, he might be stirring. Approaching the mound of blankets, it turns out I'm right.

" 'rm?" He manages to slur, voices crackling like it's a fight to get anything out. "Wh're 'm? Who?"

There is no good way to tell someone a whole ship full of crewmates is... gone. But, fuck, if I don't try. Gently sitting him up, I help him drink from a hydration pouch. Little at a time, so as not to stress his likely starved stomach. He leans, boneless, towards me. Like he wishes he could drag himself into my lap. Staring like I hold the secrets to the universe.

"Pre'ty. Warm. You sav'd me?"

I nod, shooting him a smile as I tuck the blanket more firmly around him. Poor guy is still pretty weak. But he's healing fast. That's good. He smiles back, bright predators teeth glinting in the ship's light. (Bit unhinged looking, but hey, he seems loopy.)

"Y're my hero~ pre'ty, pre'ty hero~!"

"Arn't I lucky? You found me!"

[docholligay]

"Well... first of all, I'm not discouraged. I'm sad sometimes about things that I see happening around me in Washington or on the news. I did not come here to tell you everything's going to be fine. I'm not here to tell you that. Everything's not going to be fine. You know, everything's never been fine.

And if you think through our lifetimes or through history, things that are most compelling, most inspiring, most choice-worthy are the differences that have been made in the most difficult circumstances, or the confrontation of the most ugly problem.

I doubt any of you was inspired to be interested in public service because you read about some relatively easy problem where everyone agreed what to do and then they did it and everything was fine, right? We choose to do these things because we know first of all it matters who gets involved, and it matters what the outcome is. And that's hard, and it's always been hard. I don't know if this is inspiring, maybe it's a little bit comforting is that to the extent that we do figure these things out in our lifetime, the most difficult and painful things we were involved with will be romanticized by future generations looking for inspiration.

You know, I grew up envying my parents a little bit for living in the 60's, which from the calm and sometimes even politically boring times of the late 90's and early 2000's seemed just cooler. And my parents would say things to me like 'That was a terrible period! It was terrifying. People were getting assassinated and my friends were getting sent off to war. And it all looks cool now because you listen to the arts that flourished in response to the horrors our generation were being subjected to.'

But the way we navigated that, often the hard way, inspires us because of how tough it was on the way in. And I think that's kind of what makes all of this work worth doing, which is why I'm not discouraged, and why I'm not checking out and why I'm not giving up.

How can we give up? We don't have the right to give up. Like, think about the stuff that other people didn't give up in the face of. And then think about how things change. And yes, sometimes things change for the worse. And sometimes things don't change in time. But sometimes things change faster than you ever thought they would. As recently as when I was sitting in the seat of a student at an institution not that different from the Ford school, watching politicians come and give speeches, wondering if I'd ever be among them, I knew that I probably wouldn't because I was categorically disqualified from holding office, where I came from, because I was gay. And then I wasn't. [laughter]

I was gay! I wasn't disqualified! Things change but that didn't just happen because I waited around long enough. It happened because other people put their careers on the line and their futures on the line and made it change in less than one political lifetime. So that I get to be here, as a cabinet official, offering the world according to Pete, to a room full of students weighing what our complicated future is going to be. So how dare I give up, right? And all of us have our own reasons for being in this, and all of us have our own reasons for feeling the temptations of being discouraged. But if you're not out there doing this work, someone else will be.

As you can imagine that has a particularly specific implication for those of us who are literally seeing the people who will be doing the jobs we've been doing. But that's true whether the job so to speak is a job job, or the job of an activist or the job of a researcher.

Somebody's going to be doing this, and you, your kids, and your kid's kids, will be living with the implications of the choices they made. Wouldn't you rather it be you?"

Pete Buttigieg, after being asked for inspiration by a student at the Ford School for Public Policy

[includedisco]

FadelStyle Short One-shot 2

Title: Knocked up (By Reality)

Characters: Fadel, Style

Pairing: Fadel/Style

Fandom: The Heart Killers

Tags: Fluff, Post canon, Established relationship, POV alternating, Domestic fluff, The fic is literally Style trying to convince Fadel to get him pregnant, Domestic boyfriends, pregnancy discussion, Sex talk, Implied/referenced sex, Flirting

warnings: none

Word Count: 778

Summary: Style just wants to get pregnant, okay? If only Fadel would cooperate

or

Style just wants Fadel to understand that if they try hard enough, one of them can get pregnant

“I mean if we tried hard enough-”

“Stop it!” Fadel cuts off the rest of whatever Style wants to say. 

“-we can do it.” Style continues like he hasn’t just been interrupted. He is casually seated on the countertop in Fadel’s kitchen, absently swinging his legs while watching Fadel wash vegetables at the sink.  

“You can’t get pregnant.” Fadel gently reminds his boyfriend, briefly glancing at him.  

Style pouts, “You’re supposed to support my dreams. That’s what good boyfriends do.”

A faint, amused smile plays at the corners of Fadel’s lips. “I’m far from good boyfriend material. You’ve known that about me from the start.”

“Are you just saying that to discourage me from wanting your babies? It won’t work.” 

Fadel finishing his work at the sink, the sound of running water ceasing as he turns off the tap. After drying his hands, he takes a few steps towards his boyfriend and steps between his parted knees, wrapping his arms around Style’s soft and small waist that’s peeking out from under his crop top.

“Why do you want to get pregnant so bad?” Fadel interrogates

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“You want to carry our child?”

“What? No.” Style refutes quickly and vehemently, visibly surprising Fadel

“What then?” Fadel asks with a furrowed eyebrow and slightly tilted head, eyes wide with a mix of confusion and curiosity.

“Pregnancy glow would look amazing on me. I mean, I look this good now, so imagine how irresistible I’ll be in these streets.”

Fadel shakes his head with a grin, unable to supress his amusement at the ridiculousness of this entire conversation. Fadel’s hands slide up from Style’s waist to delicately cup his face. He kisses Style on the lips, intending to stop him from saying any more nonsense.

Style’s hands instinctively rest on Fadel’s waist as he tips his head back, deepening the kiss.

As they pull apart, Style wraps his arms around Fadel’s neck, saying, “Shall we get me pregnant on this kitchen counter or shall we go somewhere more comfortable? I’m actually not that picky. I might look soft and princess-y, but I’m quite hard. Note the pun there.” Style gives his boyfriend a salacious smile and a wink.

 “We’re not having sex in my kitchen and stop talking about babies. You’re a boy.” Fadel’s eyebrows knit together, lips pressed into a thin line, and eyes narrowed with disapproval.

 “My determination is bigger than my limitations. If we add your determination to mine, I really think we can get this done.”

Fadel can’t help but chuckle, despite himself. “That’s not how that works.”

“Biology is overrated.”

“Biology is a fact.”

“So, no?” Style asks with a crestfallen look on his face.

Fadel almost feels bad about disappointing Style even though the entire thing is ridiculous to begin with, but he shakes his head. “No.” he gently kisses Style’s forehead, his lips lingering for a moment before moving to his pouting lips. The kiss is soft, something Fadel hopes will console his boyfriend.

Silence.

“Then let me get you pregnant.” Style suggests

Fadel lets out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping as his eyes soften with a sense of defeat. Slowly, he reaches for Style’s forearms, gently sliding them away from his neck. With a final, weary glance, Fadel steps away announcing that he’s going to get some ingredients from the pantry.

Style jumps off the counter and follows Fadel into the pantry while still talking.

“How about this? You keep doing what you do in bed and I’ll do the rest.”

Fadel shakes his head because what the fuck is wrong with his boyfriend. “What does that mean?”

Style ignores the question and goes on to rant about the next thing. “For starters, we need a strategy. I looked up the best sex positions for baby-making. I know that you hate missionary but we have to put it back on the table.”

Fadel stops abruptly, style almost ramming into him. “Enough! Say one more word about getting pregnant and I’ll throw you out of my kitchen.”

Style obeys for all the 10 seconds it lasts before he suddenly says, “After we already had hot sex in a storeroom in the past, you expect me to believe you came in here for ingredients?” Style smirks. “Admit it, you think it’s hot that I want you to get me pregnant. You want to do it in here, don’t you?”

Fadel groans in torment, the sound echoing through the room.

Style laughs out loud. At this point he’s just fucking with his boyfriend and he loves every second of it. Getting his grumpy boyfriend flustered and annoyed is so easy and it’s fun.

-End-

If you enjoyed this story, here is my AO3

Thank you for reading☺️

[visenyaism]

Top 5 asoiaf historical characters or top 5 povs to read from ?

my favorite chapter of all time still goes to the tyrion boat school chapter in adwd but in terms of favorite POVs to read?

6. joncon- giving myself a bonus one to talk about how reading his chapters made me feel like i was dissolving like a powerpoint transition. there’s just so much grief and love and bitterness and doom packed into there it is unreal.

5. sam- gender. he is just so special i’ve never read a fantasy protag quite like samwell tarly and his quest to realize his compassion, empathy, and courage are his greatest strengths despite being discouraged by hypermasculine violent feudal society. he is the real protagonist of asoiaf to me.

4. jonsnow- i liked his pov’s in all the books, but ADWD where he is just trying as hard as possible not to be the protagonist after going though like 4 different genres (can u BELIEVE he started off as a boarding school protagonist) even though he literally has super strengthis so beloved to me. His ongoing crisis where he has to realize that despite everything everyone tries to impose on him he has only ever been just himself is so so real (just as real as him being king beyond the wall. btw) though getting immediately killed for it has to be a downer. MY son was turncloak of the month at castle black👍

3. Jaime- he’s funny. he’s cringe. he stares a lot for someone who can’t fight. he’s delusional. he can’t fit a whole knight in his head. he hasn’t emotionally matured past the age of seventeen. everything he says is insane and also heartbreaking. i love jaime POVs so much y’all don’t get it.

2. Cersei- reading cersei i for the first time last year rewired my brain and i was loud about it. Unlike cersei i was not raised by a fascist nightmare but as a nonbinary girltwin i can say that getting raised alongside a direct example of what your life would’ve been like without misogyny can be very hard, especially when you hit puberty and the “your brother is a person and you are the girl one” starts to get even louder. I was fucking alarmed how personally compelling her weird gender thoughts were given EVERYTHING else the Lannister twins have going on that is NOT personally relevant to me. Don’t know how george rr martin old cishet man that he is knew about any of that.

She’s completely delusional, and at times her mental gymnastics are so so fucking funny, but the like roiling layer of unspeakable (literally unspeakable she refuses to speak or acknowledge it) pain and fear underneath is what got me really. Watching her scheme out of arrogance and mortal terror really just to gain respect and bodily autonomy (though in the Tywin way where freedom from abuse and the “right” to abuse others are the same thing) and then just losing everything incredibly fucking hard was really compelling. i hope you win.

1. Melisandre- wait i said another chapter was my favorite of all time in this post? no i didn’t not when melisandre i is in the room. i have talked about this one extensively and probably will do so again. Finding out that r’hllor is literally her enslaved and her entire black and white apocalyptic worldview is her attempt to feel safe within that truth because she is still just a scared little girl at heart who needs what she’s saying to be true because if it’s not none of her suffering was worth it was the revelation of all time. That and the revelation that she actually does have a human attachment to Davos to the point that she’s watching over his son to spare him the grief. We WILL get melisandre ii in this lifetime and it will break my heart all over again because she is going to outlive stannis and have to survive the worldview shattering.

[imyourliquor-youremypoison]

French Kiss (Skam - Chris x OC) Part 11

Synopsis : Life is a show and Nissen was Christoffer’s stage. He owned the place, people cheered for him, he brought life to the parties and good looks to his group of friends. But after high school he wasn’t so much of a star boy anymore and he found himself being terribly alone. Who really knew the real him? Only the people who got a backstage pass to his life could claim to do. But amidst all the turmoil of his young years, a strange girl is going to stumbled in his life - neither of them will be prepared for this.

Word Count: 10k

Part 10 <<< >>> Christmas Special Pt.1

MASTERLIST

Rule number eleven: Success is the best revenge

            Even after they cleared any misunderstanding, things didn’t just go back to the way they were before their date. They scarcely met up anymore, only saying a quick hello when they saw each other at the building, and for about three weeks they didn’t have any real conversation. Nevertheless, they both lead busy lives and didn’t have much free time to give themselves headaches over this lack of contact, even though they felt it deeply. Desperately

            It hadn’t occurred to Helen that she started liking Chris that much over the few weeks they’d known each other – yes, he was cute, and charming, and she was attracted to him. But all of this could be filed away as physical attraction. While her feelings right this moment were anything but.

“Hey, get a grip, or I’ll drag you downstairs myself,” Shansa grumbled from the couch where she was sitting with her laptop on her knees. “There is a literal dark cloud hovering over your head, Hel.”

            Hel. Of course, her roommate had to pick up the nickname Chris had given her a while back, and now every time she heard it, she was reminded of him. She fucked up, she knew it. She had ruined their first date, and while at the time she thought it was only a fling with no real emotional attachment, she slowly realized that it was not the case for Chris.

            Here she was, taking things lightly when to him it was real. After what he told her about his past it was hard to conceive that he would simply fall for her, but even she couldn’t keep her head in the sand anymore at this point. She had to admit he didn’t give her any reason to think he wasn’t serious about their relationship, whatever it was.

“Bugger off,” Helen told her friend. “Let me and my dark cloud alone.”

            Oh, how tempting it was to throw a pity party! Yet her roommate stubbornly wouldn’t let her.

“It’s rubbing off on me, I can’t afford being discouraged right now, this essay counts for half my grade!” she argued, pointing at her computer and squinting her eyes at Helen.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t write it while watching Gilmore Girls?” Helen suggested.

            To be fair she had been more than patient and gave Helen a few days to brood in a corner after she came back from her breakfast at Chris’ place, but at some point, she decided enough was enough. Shansa was no delicate flower, so she burst into Helen’s room, physically dragged her out from under her blanket, made her take a shower and put on clean clothes, then forced her to go for a walk to breathe some fresh air.

            Every day now, Helen had to go on a stupid walk, for her stupid mental health – whether it was raining or hailing. Shansa made sure of it.

            It did do her some good, but it didn’t change the fact that she messed up. She has been thinking this over for the last three weeks, and there was really only one thing to do. Chris had run after her long enough, she was the one who ruined their date, therefore she would be the one to mend their relationship.

“Where does your motivation come from anyway?” Helen asked Shansa, ignoring her previous statement. “I would need some right now.”

“Straight from the pits of hell,” Shansa sniggered. “It makes me sad to see you ruminate what happened. It wasn’t your fault that these brainless monkeys decided to play you because you didn’t understand a language subtlety,” she added. “You need to move past it.”

“But it was so humiliating, and I feel bad for Chris. He planned this whole evening, tried to make it perfect, and I just ruined it because I’m too dumb to understand a dirty joke.”

“There’s a world between a dirty joke and downright harassment. These dudes were clearly taking advantage of you. You don’t know how far they would have gone, had Chris not been there. They might have slipped something in your drink or worse. Chris reacted the only way he knew of to defend you.”

“So, you’re saying he saved me?” Helen turned away from her notebook and looked at Shansa who had pushed aside her laptop, obviously taking a break from her important essay. “It’s even worse, now I feel helpless too. I should just have shut my mouth.”

“Bloody hell, girl!” Shansa cursed, shaking her head at her friend. “Stop making a fuss out of this, shit happens! That’s just how life is, sometimes it throws assholes at you, and you have to deal with them. Chris did it for you this time, so what?! I’m sure he doesn’t blame you for it!”

“He doesn’t, but I do!” Helen stood up and angrily pointed at herself. “I’m an idiot, and I jeopardized my relationship with him!”

“So you do like him,” Shansa said with a glorious smirk. “I knew it wasn’t just his pretty face that drew you to him!”

“What if I do? It took him weeks to ask me out, I saw how nervous he was and he only did it because his friend pushed him to do so. Now everything’s awkward, and I’m sure I can’t count on Andreas to push him a second time. Not that I think Chris would listen to him anymore. I’ve passed up my chance.”

“You’d be surprised how resilient best friends are,” Shansa replied with a soft smile, making Helen lower her shoulder and sit back down again.

            She knew her friend meant well, but Shansa couldn’t do anything for her. In this situation it would only make things worse if she decided to intervene, and same went for Andre. Surely if they meddled, they would only dig a wider hole between Chris and Helen.

            No, she had to own up to her own mistakes and make this better herself.

“I’ll deal with Chris myself. I know I can, but right now I still feel too sorry for myself, just give me a few more days to be broody.” It didn’t seem to convince Shansa.

“Promise?”

“I will, I swear. I’ll think of something.”

“Girl, please!” Shansa laughed, causing Helen to raise an eyebrow in confusion. “The boy is head over heels for you, you don’t need to come up with an elaborate scheme, just be yourself.”

            Helen’s heart skipped a beat.

*

            Breathe. Just breathe and be natural, there’s nothing that can go wrong, Helen repeated these words to herself like a mantra as she began to walk down the row of bookshelves, the clicking sound of her heels muffled by the carpet.

            Surely, she had no reason to be nervous, this was only Chris! Her funny, boyish, and lovely downstairs neighbor, whom she shared a pizza and breakfast with. Chris who made her laugh, the first person she talked to in the morning – at least she used to when they still both sat at their windows every day to take in some fresh air before facing the day. If anything, she should be looking forward to finally seeing him again, yet when her eyes spotted him sitting at the same table as he usually was with Andreas, her heart jumped in her throat.

            Four more days have gone by since the day she promised Shansa she would pull herself together and makes things better with Chris.

            Now came her chance, and she was tempted to shy out of it. Except she wouldn’t. She knew what do to. She was a social person, she wasn’t afraid to chat up boys, she was bold, and funny, she could handle Chris. She could, in French. Ugh, it was so frustrating to have to think about the words you want to use before speaking. She used to be witty, but how could she be witty in a language she didn’t fully grasp yet? She had all the basics down yes, but it didn’t feel natural yet.

“Hi,” she suddenly said. She hadn’t realized she had already reached his table.

            She must have caught him in a moment of deep concentration because he started in surprise. Maybe she shouldn’t be doing this right now as she was still at work technically, but her feet had decided for her.

“H-Hei,” Chris answered, frowning as if he wasn’t sure she was really here at all.

            Chris being at loss for words was a rare occurrence, and while a part of Helen was giddy at the thought of being the cause of it, the other part felt anxious.

            Chris looked tired. He wore a zipped sweater with the hood up, and by now Helen knew him well enough to know that he only wore his hood up when he wanted to be alone and ignored. Maybe this was a bad idea but it was too late.

“You look good,” she told him, immediately scolding herself for this ridiculous comment. For one, it wasn’t true. And secondly: Small talk! Once she started making small talk, there was no turning around, things inevitably became awkward, she had to turn things around and quickly! “Are you?” She heard herself ask, her voice somewhat hesitant.

            Their eyes locked, and there seemed to be some kind of silent conversation happening between the two of them as they stayed still and simply looked at each other.

“I don’t have to be fine, I only need to look fine,” he eventually answered, shrugging to dismiss her concern.

            But it had the opposite effect, Helen’s brain went fully alert, searching for something appropriate to tell him. It was obviously meant to be a joke, but it came across as a rather painful admission than a jest. It tugged at her heart, a sinking feeling suddenly overwhelming her – guilt?

“Now that’s-” sad, terrible, heart-breaking, “-unacceptable,” she decided setting the books she was holding on his table and sitting down. “I lied by the way. You look like shit. Those dark circles here-” she gestures to her own eyes. “Don’t look good.”

            Chris huffed, reluctantly nodding in agreement. He didn’t say anything though. A least Helen managed to put a smile on his face, even for a short time.

“I have to go back to work, but Chris-” she started, feeling his eyes on her. He was giving her his full attention, however he felt about her, at least he was inclined to listen to what she had to say. “Do you still like me or did I completely ruin it?” she blurted out, feeling the fire in her cheeks.

            Chris’ jaw nearly hit the floor but Helen had to admit he kept fairly collected. He leaned against the back of his chair and his eyes did not look away from her. If she had to guess, she would say he tried to find a hint of joke in her eyes but she was dead serious.

“Is that even a question?” He laughed, rubbing his eyes. She still didn’t smile. “Hel, of course I still like you. Do you?”

            Why did the air have to be so heavy today? Now she was smiling at least, if only a shy little smile. It brightened up her whole face. Helen stood up with her books cradled against her chest.

“I have to get back to work,” she repeated, and though Chris looked disappointed that he wouldn’t get a straight answer today, he seemed a bit reassured by her warm smile. “If you’d be up for it, I’d like to have another date. I think we’re overdue for a retry, and maybe also a long conversation. This time, let me handle the details.”

            He didn’t know what to say or do, so he just nodded, swallowing thickly.

“We really shouldn’t have stopped having our talks on the fire escape, you know? They were my favorite part of the day.”

*

            The sky was orange. The sun was setting. Helen had been waiting all evening; she wasn’t sure why she didn’t simply go downstairs, but she felt it was better to wait sundown. She was more comfortable talking and sharing with other people after dark. Not to mention that it would be odd if she knocked on his door to have dinner at five. It was nearly half past seven now, and she was getting antsy.

“So how long do you plan on sitting here admiring the sunset like a romantic loser when you could be down there getting some?” The dulcet voice of her beloved roommate interrupted her reverie. Helen rolled her eyes.

“Until I gather enough courage, I guess,” she answered. At this point in their relationship, she didn’t take offense at Shansa’s unsubtle comments. “It’s intimidating. And I’m not gonna get some, I’m not gonna get anything. We have a lot to talk about Chris and I.”

“Mmh,” Shansa hummed in response, putting her feet on the coffee table. “Can’t argue with that. Saw the guy earlier today and he looks in severe lack of sleep, I don’t know what you did to him but-”

            The rest of the sentence was lost to Helen, she tuned out. Was it her fault if Chris looked like a wreck? Truthfully even if she was only partially at fault, it would still make her feel terrible.

“I’m going now,” Helen decided, cutting short one of Shansa endless rambling. She was staring at the bottom of an ice cream pot and drinking wine – that’s how she got ready for a party. She would leave soon too.

“Break a leg!” she wished her. “Who would’ve thought this guy was such a handful?”

            Helen did not answer that question because it hit very close to home once again. She should have known better than to judge Chris by his appearance and that first awkward encounter in the staircase. There was so much more behind this fuckboy façade. He had apologized to her for misjudging her based on her poor Norwegian when they first met, but she was guilty too. She judged the book by its cover.

“Have fun tonight,” Helen said before leaving her roommate to her devices.

            It was time to get ready and go now, she couldn’t believe how nervous she was. She had carefully picked her outfit for tonight, she wanted to make a good impression, and she’d remembered Shansa’s advice of dressing up for the date you want, not the date you get. She had told Chris to dress up too, and she was excited to see him. Whatever he expected from tonight, he would be surprised.

            With one last shuddery breath, Helen smoothed out her dress in front of the mirror, slipped on her pumps, and grabbed her coat and bag – if only for show. Everything was ready now, there was no excuse to dilly-dally. She took her time to walk down the stairs to Chris’ door, and knocked softly.

            The door swung open almost immediately.

“Hi,” she said in an exhale, watching Chris open his mouth but not say anything. He blinked a few times, his lips slowly stretching into a dreamy smile, as if he couldn’t quite believe his eyes.

“H-Hi,” he eventually greeted her. “Helen, you look-“ he didn’t know how to finish his sentence.

            She wasn’t doing much better herself, but she tried to remain composed. Chris was very elegant in his dress pants and neatly ironed shirt. The last few buttons of his shirt weren’t closed yet, and his tie hung, untied, around his neck.

            Helen wanted to yank it off and tie him to the bedpost with it.

“Mhmh.” She cleared her throat, feeling hot all of a sudden. “Thank you. You look fantastic yourself,” she complimented him while she let herself in, since Chris was frozen in the doorframe apparently. He closed the door, mechanically.

            She had chosen a plain dress, with short sleeves, and a slit down her right leg. It flared from her waist down to her shin, its silky material complementing her shiny heels. She wanted to dazzle, and she was glad to see that she had been successful in her endeavor. Chris… Chris was eye candy as always, but she hadn’t expected him to clean up so good.

“Say something,” she prompted him. “You’re making me nervous.”

“I don’t know what to say…” he admitted. “You’re beautiful. You’re always beautiful but now…”

            He drifted off again, seeming at a loss for words tonight. Point taken. Helen chuckled and took a few steps towards him, reaching for his tie.

“Need help with this?” she asked him.

            This finally startled him out of his stupor.

“Uhm, no, I got it. Actually, I didn’t know if I should wear a tie or not, you didn’t say how strict the dress code was.”

“Should I be impressed that you have this in your closet? Most guys wouldn’t even own a decent tie, let alone know how to tie it properly, or know how to abide by a dress code for that matter.”

“I’m just full of surprises, aren’t I?” he teased her. “I’ve been told I clean up pretty good when I try.” Now he downright smirked at her. He was visibly over the initial shock of seeing her dressed to the nines.

“And who, pray tell, told you that?” Helen asked, feeling uninclined to share Chris with all and any potential rivals.

“My mom,” he said, smiling when he saw her reaction. He grazed two fingers under her chin, and she seemed to relax. “So, tie or no tie?”

“No need for a tie, it would look too strict on you,” she decided, running her hand over the collar of his shirt.

“Yes, ma’am,” Chris said, taking off his tie and throwing it over the back of a chair.

            The evening hadn’t even started, and he felt electrified. The tension between them had never been so high, and he felt like the air would crackle if he got too close. His palms were even a little sweaty. When was the last time this happened? His heartbeat quickened when she smiled at him, big enough to show a little teeth and for crinkles to appear at the corner of her eyes.

            If he listened to himself, he would damn it all to hell, and kiss her right then and there. But she had been right, they needed a clean slate to start over. That sure as hell wouldn’t happen by magic, he knew they had some talking to do, some coming clean. Otherwise, he would continue to look sleep deprived and they would forever wonder what could have been.

            Chris’ train of thought was interrupted by loud meowing, and when they turned their head towards his room, where the sound came from, they saw a black cat standing on its hind legs, scratching at the closed window.

“Of course, always on time for dinner!” Chris rolled his eyes. “This fucker only comes out of hiding when it’s time to eat.”

            Helen let out a little chuckle, meanwhile Chris went to his room to let his cat in. He strutted in at a leisurely pace, like he owned the place, and went straight for his empty bowl, clearly expecting food to be brought immediately.

“So, you’re Chris’ little devil?” Helen purred, squatting down to pet the little ball of fur. It closed its eyes and lied down, tail still wiggling happily. She looked at Chris. “I think he likes me.”

“I’m not surprised, he makes it a point to cuddle everyone but me,” Chris grumbled before going to get the cat food and emptying the content of a can in the bowl. “I am unloved in this house.”

“It’s tough love baby,” Helen replied with a laugh. “What’s his name?”

“William.”

Helen frowned in confusion.

“William is a weird name for a cat,” she observed as she scratched behind its ears. It purred in response and gently rubbed against the girl’s hand. Whether or not he did it out of spite or just because he liked Helen, Chris couldn’t tell but the animal never seemed this eager to get an ear scratch from him.

            Chris shrugged.

“Chris…” she began, and when he looked up, he must have seen something in her eyes because she didn’t need to add anything else. He sighed, and put down the bowl full of food. Immediately William the cat jumped from where it sat and started eating.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t shut you off like this but I hate talking about William,” Chris admitted.

            This made her pause.

“William the cat?” she asked just to make sure.

“No, William my best friend who left for England without so much as a heads up,” and without me, he wanted to add but did not.

            And now it made a lot more sense. To Helen it felt like she finally found a missing piece of a giant puzzle, and suddenly Chris just made sense. There was pant up anger behind his words, as if he hasn’t had a chance to properly rant about it yet.

“You sound as if you need to talk about it,” she declared, making him wince.

“I don’t know how you do it,” he said, taking her aback. “You manage to make me talk about things I never mention with anyone, and I feel like I spend my days- just… I don’t know, whining to you about this or that. Don’t you get tired of it?”

“Chris-“ she began, wanting to apologize.

“It’s not a reproach. At all,” he clarified. “I just hope you’re not fed up with me yet. I swear I can be fun, too.” Helen nodded, understanding. It’s true that their conversations somehow always took a serious turn, but she never did it on purpose. She was a listener, she did that to people. She brought forth what they tried to bury deep inside. “The reason I don’t want to talk about William is because he’s an ass and because there are some colorful Norwegian words you don’t need to learn,” he joked, earning a smile but not managing to fool her, if the look on her face was any indication.

“I’ll never force you to talk about something if you’re not ready to share, Chris. I hope you know that. As long as you also know I’ll be here when you are.”

            He nodded, solemnly.

“All I will say is this: He just- he left. And I’m here alone, and I feel stupid. Like, you have no idea how dumb I feel for still being bitter about something that happened four years ago.”

“Everybody is allowed time to heal, as much as they need. There’s no book to follow. He was your best friend and he hurt you, I’d be terribly upset too.”

“Well, this is miles away from what I expected from this evening,” Chris commented. “I know I should move on, but I- I just can’t get passed it. At first, I felt betrayed, but now I’m just bitter and angry, because he moved on so quickly – as if I didn’t mean anything to begin with – and I’m… stuck.”

“Let’s see,” Helen said, trying to sound positive even though they were talking about serious stuff. “You have completed your military service, you live in a nice apartment in the heart of Oslo, you have a cat that – she hesitated – seems like a better William than the original, and you’re in college, where you study something you like and made new friends. That hardly sounds like being stuck to me.”

            Chris was still looking at her when he took a deep shaky breath, and for a second Helen worried she might have said something wrong because he looked so much like he was about to cry. Some part of her thought Chris would never allow himself to cry in front of her, but she wouldn’t judge him for doing so. She would never. Helen moved closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Listen… maybe this William of yours is living the life in uptown London or wherever, having tea with the Queen and such, but maybe he’s miserable, maybe he struggles with speaking a different language, failed his freshman year at university, got dumped by his girlfriend- who knows? There’s no point in tormenting yourself with these self-deprecating thoughts. You don’t know for sure if he’s moved on at all.”

“If he is miserable then he damn well deserves it, I can’t feel sorry for him anymore. That asshole could’ve said goodbye at the very least,” Chris snapped.

“I left my home too, to come here. Maybe there’s someone missing me as much as you do William back in France. Would you despise me for it?” she suddenly asked, her big brown eyes staring at him in this disarming manner that somehow made him answer questions he swore he wouldn’t answer even under torture.

            They had been standing in his apartment for a while now, just talking. Helen hadn’t expected their evening to start before she could even surprise him properly with what she had planned. She didn’t begrudge him this though, as much as he denied it, she knew he needed to let it all out. He looked like he hadn’t talked to anyone about anything before she moved here. She could see the way he held himself straighter when he finally let something off his chest, she way he lit up.

            She would stand here all night to make it happen again and again.

“Is it a boy?” Chris asked playfully, trying to lighten up the mood. Helen pouted and shoved him.

“C’mon, you know I broke things off clean with him. What’s important is that each and every one of us does what’s most important for ourselves. I know it’s not nice to hear but if you were really his friend, then you must allow him to live his life the way he wants to, not stand between him and his future. Even if it was very shitty of him to leave without telling you beforehand.”

“Now you’re just making me feel bad,” Chris tried to laugh.

            Helen moaned and apologized, putting her forehead against his shoulder to hide her blushing face from him.

“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he assured her, making her look up again. “I know you’re right – in my head.”

            But not in his heart.

“What made you do it, in the end? How did you realize you wanted to move here?” he asked her, only now realizing that was something he could have – should have – asked a long time ago. He hadn’t wanted to pry, but he was curious, and she seemed ready to share.

            Helen took in a deep breath.

“I’ve always known, I think, deep down,” she started, a dreamy smile twisting her lips. “I came to Norway on holiday for the first time. It was five years ago. I had always wanted to visit, so, I rented a van all by myself and explored as many places as I could, going as far up north as I was able. And I… fell in love.” Helen shrugged a little, not looking away from Chris, who listened intently.

“It’s hard not to, with all the stunning nature, the people are so nice, the traditions so alive here. It sneaked up on me after that. I’ve always been fascinated with the medieval period and Vikings, but now, I had found purpose. I missed Norway, long after I’d gone back home. The call was too strong in the end, I had to answer it. No matter how much I miss my family, no matter the friendships I lost, the relationship I had to give up to be able to come here, it was all worth it in the end. I don’t know how else to explain it, but I- I belong here.”

            Chris wasn’t going to contradict her – she did belong here. She had found her place and made her small but tight circle of friends, leaned the language and the culture so fast she would seen sound like a local. And even more importantly, she belonged here with him. That, he could feel in his bones. He might not know for certain what he wanted to do after college, professionally speaking, but he had found a sense of directly in Helen.

            She was his compass, his anchor. He had tried so hard his whole life not to get attached to anyone, and now he felt he was truly living for the first time. She filled him with hope, and joy, and excitement for the future – something he had sorely lacked until now.

“I love that,” he finally said. “I hope it was like that for William then, I hope it was worth it.”

            She only smiled softly, seemingly pleased with his answer.

A beat passed before he said, “Well, that’s enough pity party for tonight. Where are we going now?”, completely changing subjects. He was ready for their date, and to put William out of his mind – forever. Besides, he already spilled enough of his guts to the girl he liked.

“Let’s go then,” she said. “Wait-“ She stopped him when he went for the door. “Not this way.”

            She gestured for him to follow her and went to his room.

“We’re going out the window?” he asked, frowning in confusion. “The plot thickens.”

            Together, they climbed out the window, under the cat’s baffled eyes. It was already dark outside, the city lights shining all around the building. You could feel the better days coming now that May was around the corner. Helen climbed the stairs up to her story, and completely opened her window that she had left cracked open for this specific purpose. Chris, playing along, didn’t say anything and merely followed her inside when she climbed in, ever so gracefully even in heels and a dress.

“Did you get me to dress up to come to your roo-?”

            He was midway through his question when he saw what she had done to her room. The furniture had been moved around to make room for a table for two in the middle: it was already set, and there were candles lit all around the room.

“Come, sit down. I’ll get dinner,” Helen told him.

            Chris was left alone in her room to take it all in. She had made a damn good job of creating a cozy, intimate atmosphere here. The dim lights and soft background music had nothing to envy to a fancy restaurant, and she had clearly put a lot of thought in it. He suddenly couldn’t remember why he had been so psychotic about finding the perfect date spot the first time they went out. He’d put so much pressure on himself, without realizing that he didn’t need to go to dramatic length to make their date perfect. They already had everything they needed, the only thing missing was… intention.

            She came in with two plates of food, what looked like a juicy piece of filet mignon and vegetables with a glassy red wine gravy. It smelled delicious.

“That looks so good,” he said, sitting down while she set the plates down before them and closed the door. “You made this?”

“I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to brag about my cooking skills,” she confessed. “And I can’t possibly cook anything like this with Shansa around, or she’ll make me her maid before I know it.”

“Had I known, I would have at least brought a bottle of wine,” Chris laughed. “Now I feel bad for coming empty-handed.”

“Oh, good thing you mention it,” Helen chirped and stood up. There was a bottle of red wine already uncorked sitting on her desk, he hadn’t noticed before. “From my secret stash of French wine that I 100% smuggled in my luggage when I came here.”

“Let me pour,” Chris offered.

“You don’t want to try it first?” she asked, obviously teasing him.

            Chris laughed.

“You seem to know what you’re about better than I do,” he admitted before taking the bottle from her hand and starting to pour. “The only thing I know about wine, is how to pour it and drink it.”

            And he did, very neatly, not letting a single drop fall onto the white tablecloth. Helen nodded in approval and raised her glass to cheer.

“What are we drinking to?” he asked.

            Helen seemed to ponder the question a moment before clearing her throat and speaking up.

“I drink to you. The happiest accidental meeting I could have hoped for,” she exclaimed, not taking her eyes off of him.

            Chris swallowed visibly.

“And to you. The person I didn’t know I needed in my life,” he said back, much to her surprise. She didn’t expect him to say anything in return, but he did.

            She was so taken aback that he was the one who clinked their glasses, because she was frozen. It brought her out of her bubble, and she shook her head to regain her senses. Her cheeks flushed bright red, and she was glad for all the candles and the dim light, because it hid her embarrassment.

            The way he looked at her when he gave his toast had her feeling all kinds of messed up inside. Truth be told, she hadn’t expected him to rise up to the occasion the way he did tonight, and she wasn’t sure what to do with this Chris she kept on getting to know. He dressed up for her, humored her and was more open and honest than he had been when they first started to talk.

            He had already been hard not to fall for back then, but now she feared she was falling head first into a hole she couldn’t crawl her way out of. That she might not want to crawl out of.

“You know that first time we met?” she asked. Chris, who had dug in his steak now, was a bit surprised that she was the one changing the subject but he wasn’t going to complain.

“As if it was yesterday,” he said, putting his knife down.

“Well, I hadn’t been going out much because you know how nervous I get when I speak to strangers and I just forget how to speak and such,” she explained and he nodded. “So, you were basically the first person I had a full conversation with since I’d moved in, apart from Shansa, of course. And I remember thinking ‘fy fean, that’s it, this is the hot neighbor every teen movie warned me about’.”

            A genuine laugh fell from Chris’ lips now, and a gentle warmth filled Helen for having accomplished that.

“You made me so nervous, Shansa had to give me a pep talk so I wouldn’t shy out of our first hang out-”

“It was a date!” Chris said, obviously not letting her argue about this. “We sat down,” he reminded her.

“Yes, I literally told you no funny business and the first thing you do is trick me into going on a date with you. See why I think you’re my downfall?” Helen pointed out.

“Fair enough. But where are we going with this fond memory?”

“What I’m trying to say is that I had no idea who you were at the time, you were just the intimidatingly handsome boy who bumped into me. I thought that would be it, how many times in a girl’s life does she literally run into a hot guy? Not many, let me tell you that.”

            Thet both laughed together now, and Helen’s heart felt light, so light it would have flown right out of her chest, had she opened her ribcage.

“I thought that was it, but then you knocked on my door to return my notebook. And you asked for my number, and you texted me, and I knew I shouldn’t get involved with someone like you but I was also in dire need of friends and of going out.”

“Someone like me?” Chris repeated her words.

“Yes, precisely. You give off this vibe, and I don’t know if you’re aware of it or if it’s on purpose, but you just look like life’s always smiling to you, and like you have it easy. I know it’s not true, now. But I didn’t bother scratching the surface to see what was below then, I just took you at face value. I figured there was no harm in hanging out with you because you’d get bored of me soon anyway. You seemed the type.”

“Right,” Chris said, clicking his tongue against his cheek. He wasn’t surprised but it hurt all the same to hear it, especially from Helen. She looked deeply ashamed for saying that though.

“But you didn’t. You hung onto me, and I slowly discovered things about you that I never suspected. And I feel so guilty about not giving you a proper chance from the beginning. I should have known better, and I’m sorry. When you started talking to me, really talking I mean, I realized just how much hurt this polished surface could hide.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” Chris simply told her.

            She could see on his face that she had said too much, gone too far. His closed off expression said it all.

“I’m not even sure where I was going anymore, but what I’m saying that I really like you, and not because of this-” she gestured to his body. “But because of all the rest.”

“You weren’t wrong to be careful with me, I didn’t exactly have innocent intentions in the beginning. Actually, I wasn’t sure what I wanted from you until Andreas pushed some of my buttons, it’s because of him that I texted you the first time. Or thanks to him, I guess.” He laughed bitterly before meeting her eyes. “Apparently I lost my game with girls, so I decided on a spur of the moment kind of decision, that I would seduce you.”

“Well, you are both completely wrong, and blind if I might add, because I can tell you that the number of girls sitting around your table at the library was not normal,” she kindly informed him. “And clearly, Andreas has no idea what he’s talking about, because you smooth talk like you make a living out of it.”

“Now you’re just flattering me!” Chris pointed an accusing finger to Helen and she dramatically clutched her heart.

“Guilty!”

“Anyway, it didn’t go as planned. You stayed distant but you were friendly and a lot of fun, so I kind of continued to run after you. At the time I still thought it was because I needed to prove Andre wrong, but then we began to hang out more frequently. The more we talked, the closer we got… I grew attached, rather easily too to be honest. You’re quite difficult not to love.”

            He stopped suddenly, knowing he’d slipped up. Shit, shit shit, he had said the L wor-

“Be still my beating heart,” Helen said to herself, laughing and taking the tension out of the situation.  Chris shot her a nasty look, secretly happy his slip up went unnoticed. “Don’t pay attention to me, I can laugh now but I was a wreck of nerves before coming to get you.”

“I suppose I wasn’t doing much better the day I asked you on a date in the library,” Chris chuckled. “I was so happy you said yes, and then I ruined everything. I could have handled the situation in so many different, better ways, but instead I lost my cool. I saw red when I heard this guy speak to you like that, and I didn’t think I just- well, we’ve been over this already.”

“We’re the biggest pair of idiots,” Helen said, offering him a smile to show that she really didn’t hold him responsible for what happened that night.

“Any chance we could upgrade to a couple of idiots?” Chris asked after a long moment of comfortable silence during which they ate quietly. His throat felt oddly dry all of a sudden, so he drank a little wine. The alcohol might help, too.

            There wasn’t much Helen could have said in this moment, for all was said now. She smiled.

“Let’s see where the evening takes us.”

            They set aside all this grave talk and moved on to lighter topics while eating their dinner. It had been a long time since they both had a quiet evening like this: they didn’t see the time pass, nor did they want the night to end.

            When they were finished, and after Chris insisted on putting away the dishes since Helen had cooked everything, they ended up in the kitchen. Chris washed the dishes while Helen dried them off, and they kept on laughing and talking until the wee hours. They had blown off the candles in Helen’s room, in favor of sitting on the couch now, fueled by the wine they drank and the steaming cups of coffee now in their hands.

            Helen had taken off her shoes and tucked her legs under herself on the couch. Chris’ shirt had one more button open and he had pushed up his sleeves.

“I don’t believe it,” she laughed, scrunching up her nose as she did. Her hair was starting to fall out of her updo because she kept throwing her head back when she laughed. It made him want to keep at it, just to see how many more times he needed to make her laugh for it to cascade down her back. “I mean, sure you seemed at ease at the club, but you can’t make me believe you’re a dancer.”

“I said I was a dancer,” Chris corrected her. “And truly, you wound me.”

“I need proof,” she challenged him. “A video? A picture at least. You’ve got to have a picture,” she insisted.

“Why would I need any of that when I can just show you?”

            Chris stood up and offered her his open hand, waiting for her to take it.

“Are you joking?” she asked. “I can’t dance.”

“You don’t need to know how to dance if your partner knows how to lead well,” Chris pointed out, raising his brows in challenge now. “Are you chickening out?”

            Helen huffed.

“Certainly not!” She gently placed her hand in his open palm, and he closed his fingers around hers. Something akin to electricity jolted through her and sobered her up almost instantly. “But there’s no music.”

            A feeble attempt at getting out of a situation she had put herself in. What if he wasn’t kidding and really did know how to dance? She’d be well and truly fucked.

            Chris took out his phone and quickly found a playlist that would do for tonight purposes. He set it on the coffee table.

“I’m not wearing shoes.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he assured her. “Come now, I’m not going to bite you.” Helen bit her lip but stepped closer to him, letting him guide her and place her hands where they needed to be. “Unless you want me to, of course.”

Helen blushed furiously. “You’re not making this easier,” she told him. “How am I supposed to concentrate if you flirt so shamelessly?”

            He bellowed out a laughter she had rarely heard from him and it filled her with a sense of pride. I did that.

“Here I thought you were immune to my charm,” he teased her, not stopping his seduction number for a second. Suddenly, his hand was on her waist, and she forgot how to think coherently. “Ready?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready,” Helen let out in a breath, keeping her eyes set on him.

            He moved before she realized it, and her body followed as if it was completely natural to do so. She gasped but tried not to think too hard about what her feet did, otherwise she’d mess it up. A little gasp escaped her when he twirled her and his arm wrapped around her middle section.

            He carried it all, she didn’t have to do anything except trust him to lead. She didn’t know how to dance per se, she had never taken classes. Still, she knew how to move and follow a beat. But nothing like that, nothing so… smooth and seductive. The music flowed through them and her body moved along Chris’, feeling where he wanted her to go, what he wanted her to do, a second before he executed the movement.

“Wow,” she breathed out, causing him to chuckle lowly. He didn’t laugh now, they were too entranced by each other. “You are a dancer.”

“Would it be very rude to say that I told you so?” he asked.

“Only a little, given that I called you a liar,” she replied.

Just then, he slowed the pace, down to a gentle sway that allowed her to rest her cheek against his shoulder. She couldn’t see his face like this, and she was glad, because it meant he couldn’t see hers either. Helen’s eyes twinkled with held back tears – it was silly, she wasn’t even sad.

“Where did you learn to dance like this?” she asked, to break this unbearable tension. Her grip on his hand tightened a little.

“I was in a dance crew for a while,” he admitted. “We weren’t half bad, won a few competitions and all. But that was a while ago, if I tried to pull the moves I did back then, I’d pull a muscle.”

            Helen turned her head now to look at him and she giggled.

“Why’d you stop? You still seem to like it now, and you’re good. Very good,” she mused.

“No reason. We fell out, some moved away to study, clashing schedules, life in general,” he listed off all the reasons why he had stopped in the first place. “Sometimes it just feels like there’s no time.”

“There’s always room in our lives for what makes us happy,” Helen reminded him. “It’s the little things that make for a full life.”

            She was right. Helen was often right, even when she said things Chris didn’t want to hear, or – more often – wasn’t ready to hear.

“What little things make you happy?” he asked, out of curiosity and maybe also for future reference.

            She tilted her head to the right and thought about it. They hadn’t stopped swaying slowly to the music, and if Chris could help it, he wouldn’t stop until his batterie died.

“Watching the sun rise while I eat breakfast,” she finally said. “Reading a book on a rainy day. Having a warm drink when it’s cold outside. Eating an apple right off a tree from my grand parents’ orchard.”

“You never talk about your family,” Chris remarked.

“Neither do you,” she pointed out, and Chris conceded it to her. “Gotta keep some things to talk about for our next date, though.”

“Fair enough.” He wouldn’t contradict her, especially if she meant to go on another date with him. “What else makes you happy? Just taking mental notes,” he prompted her to continue.

            Their slow dancing had finally come to a stop now, but Helen didn’t bring herself to let go of Chris, so he kept her in his arms as well. She licked her lips, and he was transfixed.

“Danser tout contre toi. Respirer ton odeur. T’embrasser.”

            Chris didn’t know French outside of a few sentences he had picked up here and there from movies and TV shows. But Chris spoke a language that had no name, and Helen had just spoken it. He recognized the raspiness in her voice, the need in her tone, and the longing in her eyes. He recognized all the symptoms of this sickness, because he had it too. He’d never thought it’d happen to him, and certainly not so sneakily.

            She leaned towards him very slowly, giving him time to step back or push her away – as if he’d ever do that. As if his entire being hadn’t belonged to her from the moment he laid eyes on her. The world could burst in flames, and Chris still wouldn’t miss this chance.

He closed the distance between their lips and kissed her like he had never kissed anyone before. This kiss was a statement.

This kiss was a claiming.

This kiss was a conversation.

Helen cradled his face with her left hand and didn’t let go of his shoulder with her right, hanging onto him like a lifeline while he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her to him, pressing her against his chest. When they parted, just long enough to take a deep breath, Helen inhaled his scent and smiled to herself. Sin, indeed.

This was a dance she knew. And so, they kissed again, and again, for a long time. Long enough to make up for all the lost time and opportunities. Long enough to reach the end of Chris’ playlist. Long enough that they might have gotten sick of kissing if they hadn’t been waiting for this for so long.

They kissed until their lips were swollen. They finally broke apart and met each other’s stare. First sheepishly, then they smiled.

Yes, she was definitely right. It was time to make room for happy things in his life.

*

Helen stirred awake slowly, a dreamy smile on her lips. She didn’t want to open her eyes right away, she knew it would end the moment, and she wasn’t ready yet. She just wanted to feel Chris’ steady breathing against her neck and his arms wrapped around her waist a while longer. 

She had been confused at first, when she emerged, to find herself in her living-room instead of her bed. But it all came rushing back to her in an instant, and she’s been lingering in this feeling since. 

Except now, there was a noise. A familiar noise. When she finally opened one eye, she Saw Shansa standing a few steps away, her cereal bowl in one hand, eating heartily while in her joggers - and looking very smug too.

“Look who’s awake!” she greeted her, and Helen groaned, rubbing her eyes with one hand. When she blinked away the sleep, she spotted Chris’ cat, sitting on the coffee table and staring at her. What was he doing here?

“William?” Helen croaked out, yawning. She could feel Chris’ stirring behind her, and already she dreaded getting up and out of his arms. For someone who had slept on a couch, she’d had a remarkably good night’s sleep.

“Ugh!” Shansa shook her head. “Not that awake, then. How much have you had to drink last night to forget my name?” she huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

Whatever Helen said, she knew there was no living this down: her ever-mingling roommate had found her sleeping in her crush’s arms, on their couch, all dressed to the nines. Shansa would have a field day once Chris was out of earshot.

Chris stretched, eyes still closed, and asked in a mumble, “What time is it?” his breathing hot in Helen’s neck. Goosebumps rose on her skin. 

“It’s almost noon, hot stuff,” Shansa happily answered, clearly finding way too much appeal in this situation. 

His eyes shot open, and he sat up, taking in his surroundings. He frowned when he saw his cat.

“William?” he asked.

Shansa exclaimed, “Who the hell is William?”

“The cat!” “My cat!” Helen and Chris both answered at the same time.

There was a pause.

“Oooh,” Shansa finally said. “I was wondering about him, but thought I’d let you lovebirds get your bearings first. That explains it. I have no idea how this little dude got in.” 

Helen sent a pleading look to her roommate, silently begging her for a little privacy. Surely she wouldn’t deny her, she had been rooting for her since the beginning when she found out Helen liked Chris. 

“Well… I’ve got things to do,” she declared vaguely. “Please put the furniture back in place, I don’t know what happened here last night, but it’s not feng shui.”

She strutted away with her bowl of cereal, and when the door to her room finally closed, Helen let out a long sigh of relief and laid back down on the couch, one arm over her eyes.

“That went well,” Chris said, breaking the silence. He gently lifted her arm from her face to meet her eyes. “Good mourning,” he added, a little smile tugging the corner of his lips upward. 

She wouldn’t resist that smile even if she tried, so she didn’t. 

“‘morning,” she answered back. “Slept well?”

“Like a baby,” Chris laughed. “I didn’t even realize we’d fallen asleep. Couldn’t say when either.”

“We must have drifted off while talking,” she mused, her fingers playing with the top button of his shirt, which was open. Her eyes lingered there, at the bit of skin peeling out of his clothes, at his muscled chest. She swallowed thickly.“I had a really good time.” 

Helen dropped her hand and cleared her throat, as if to shake herself out of her head. Her thoughts were getting away from her. 

Chris’ grin only widened. 

“Is this the part where we get awkward about having kissed last night?” he asked plainly, almost certainly to make her blush and stutter something incoherently - she still didn’t do well in Norwegian when she was nervous. Sure enough, red crept on her cheeks. “Because I don’t regret a thing. In fact,” he continues, “I’d very much like to do it again.”

“Oh yeah?” Was all the answer she managed, her throat closing up under Chris’ intense stare. 

“Yeah.” He nodded, and she couldn’t miss the way his eyes flitted to her lips when she spoke. “Soon, in fact.”

“How soon?” She pressed him, her entire body humming in anticipation. When her hips rolled slightly against him, he grande a little.

Chris pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and breathing her in.

“I’d say right now, but what are the chances your roommate won’t barge in on us the second I put my hands on you?”

“Too low,” Helen said, shaking her head. Even as she said that, even knowing it was unreasonable to try and steal a few more moments with him here and now, Helen couldn’t stop her hands from gripping his collar, keeping him close to her. She could get drunk all over again on his smell alone.

He pushed away just then, when Helen was about to lose her wits and throw herself at him, consequences be damned. She had never seen him looking so smug and proud of himself. She felt like a puddle of need under him, but the sudden distance cleared her head a little.

“C’mon, let’s get up,” he urged her, sitting up straight.

The corners of her lips tilted upwards then. His hair was a complete mess, his eyes still sleepy, his lips pouty. 

Fuck.

She tugged at his shirt to bring him closer and kissed him. Softly, gently - a good morning kiss. There. Just one little kiss. They got lost in it for only a second, until William started meowing loudly. They’d forgotten him.

“That means his bowl is empty,” Chris sighed.

“Oh, you speak William, now, do you?” Helen laughed

“Fluently,” Chris replied, as if it was obvious. 

Without protest, Helen got up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress but who was she kidding, she knew she must look a mess too - makeup smudged, hair tangled. They went on to put the coffee table and couch back to their initial position, before their impromptu dance lessons.

Chris cleared the table of the glasses and empty bottle of wine before Helen could protest that it was her place and her mess to clean up. He kissed her again to shut her up, and she simply closed her mouth and smiled, touching her lips with the tip of her fingers.

“I know it’s late but what do you say we eat breakfast at my place after we shower?” he proposed. “I need to feed this idiot before he breaks into your pantry anyway,” he added with a little head tilt towards William, who was grooming himself without paying them any mind.

“Breakfast?” Helen asked, eyes flitting towards the clock above the front door.

“Yeah, breakfast.” He shrugged. “Or lunch. Brunch, if you will,” he laughed. “Just come by when you’re ready? Say yes?” he nearly begged her, wrapping one arm around her middle to pull her closer. 

Never in a million years would she have said no, and that he even thought it was a possibility was ridiculous. Couldn’t he see it plainly on her face? She thought she was an open book to him by now. He could have asked her anything and she would have said yes.

“I’ll come.” She tried not to sound too eager, but already her entire body started humming pleasantly at the perspective of the day to come.

She watched him leave through her window again, hair tousled, shirt wrinkled, eyes crinkled (and cat under his arm) with the promise of meeting him downstairs in a few.

Chris climbed back into his place and closed the window without locking it, so she could follow him later. He grabbed William behind his front paws and lifted him up so they were face to face, at eye level. 

“How did you even get in her apartment?” he wondered out loud.

William blinked in answer, purring slightly.

“Never mind, let’s get you breakfast, too.”

He quickly filled the cat’s bowl and changed his water. Then he hurried to the bathroom - he wanted to be done and behind the counter when she arrived, coffee brewing already. 

Even in his wildest Dreams, he couldn’t have imagined how last night went - he had no hope of fixing things between them a mere hours ago. How did they even get there? They spoke the night away, and he danced for her - fy fean, he danced after years of not doing it, and it felt good. It felt especially good to hold her in his arms, to feel her sway against him, his hand in the small of her back, her hands on his shoulder. 

Andre would never believe him when he told him. He would drag him all the way to the library to make him prove himself, even if it meant kissing the cute librarian in front of everyone in her work place. He shook his head, unable to stop smiling.

The way she had kissed him… He didn’t think anyone had ever kissed him like this, like she put a claim on him. 

And, god, the way she had moved against him when they woke up. If her roommate hadn’t been right there, he might not have been able to pull back then. It was the reasonable thing to do, but what man wanted to be reasonable when a beautiful woman was rolling her hips against his after a long night of making out and falling asleep together on the couch?

No, he had to stop thinking about it, he was starting to get aroused and he didn’t have time for this - this was supposed to be a quick shower.

A noise came from behind the door.

“William, will you please stop scratching at the door?” Chris shouted from under the hot stream of water. “Dumb cat,” he grumbled.

But it was not William who pushed the door open, letting out a bit of steam from the shower. Helen stood there, and quickly entered and closed the door behind her, dropping a pile of clothes on the floor.

Chris was so shocked he didn’t even think about the fact that he stood here, naked, behind a transparent, barely fogged-up glass. Neither said anything at first, and Helen silently undressed, unzipping last night’s dress and letting it fall in a puddle on the floor. She removed her stockings slowly, and Chris felt a certain part of himself twitch. The unmistakable twinkle in her eye turned him on more than the show she put on - and that was saying something. 

Her underwear joined the rest of her clothes and she opened the shower door, stepping in to join him.

“What are you doing here?” he finally asked, throat dry. He didn’t trust himself to do anything but look at her, didn’t trust himself not to press her against the wall of the shower and take her- He shook his head.

“Well…” she started, closing the space between them and resting a hand on his chest. “You said to come when I was ready, and I thought you offered to have brunch after showering so… here I am.” The sly smile on her lips said it all - she hadn’t understood wrong, she had freely interpreted his invitation. Chris could feel himself getting even harder.

“I’m all ready for you,” she whispered in his ear before biting it.

It was not a quick shower after all.

[mystic-myrtille]

I'm in a salt mode so lets get into this

One of the biggest problems people had with the L//S is how poorly developed it's been and how less effort it has been put into it, And don't get me started how Adrichat and Maribug barely interact basically making the ship have 0 chemistry.

But then when ships like Lukanette and Adrigami came along, then there's some Toxic L//S stans who bash the characters (and doxx lukanette and adrigami shippers), with their only excuse being "ThEy R iN tHe Way of adr///ette/L//s (Mainly because they're insecure that Lukanette/Adrigami has Chemistry, proper development and effort and their ship doesn't)

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Lukanette/Adrigami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of the hate that Luka/Kagami gets.

I'm so sick and tired of toxic L//S stans projecting their ship on every. single. damn. thing

I'm so sick and tired of seeing Lukanette/Adrigami shippers get d0xxed, threatened and bullied just because they don't ship the L//S or Adr//ette

Yikes, people doxxed each other because of ships?? For some reason I'm not entirely surprised. I've seen fandoms with super toxic people and the ml fandom sure can be toxic as hell. If you (general) get so worked up about people's opinions about characters from a kids show, you should be denied access to the internet and instead have access to tons grass to touch. But yeah, even just "normal hate" can be frustrating and discouraging, so it's best to just block those people. I completely understand your frustration.

Luka//nette isn't good because they were half canon, it's good because they have a meaningful bond and the root for drama is always outside circumstances and not the fact that they fundementally don't work together. If Mari wasn't Ladybug, they probably wouldn't have split up. That's why I love this ship so much. Besides, they never got in the way of anything. Realistically, no ship can get in the way of a confirmed endgame ship bc, well, it's endgame. So this argument is kind of falls flat (honestly most arguments against Luka//nette I've heard were either not really important or kind of a very outlandish interpretation of their relationship, I don't care about either.)

Heck, even if Luka//nette wasn't the rival ship but just friends in canon who interacted twice, who cares? Shipping isn't supposed to be serious, it's exploring different dynamics between characters and having fun putting them in different scenarios and have them have 6176310278 different first kisses. There's no rule that you have to be on board with the canon ship.

Now speaking of L//S developement (bc now I'm also in a salty mood and I have thoughts)

I and many others have already talked about how s1-4 didn't really do much with them. But I find it funny when people say that s5 did a great job developing they're relationship because... bitch where? I've watched season 5 (I have no self respect) and everything was confusing and over the place and I think that's bc the writers can't make up their minds about which problems the L//S might face actually matter and how they can be solved.

The season starts with Mari making a big deal about how loving Adrien is dangerous because hero stuff. Oh but actually it doesn’t matter, she likes CN now, problem solved! Oh wait no Chat friendzoned her and Adrien is pushing real hard for Adr//nette so they give up their fucking miraculous (in times of crisis I might add), problem solved! No wait, actually the new heroes suck so they take them back, but that’s okay bc being in love and being a superhero at the same time is actually no longer a problem for some reason! The actual problem is that Mari is incapable of expressing herself because she has trauma. And THAT’S the real shit because fucking everybody gets so invested they organize literal dates for them and watch from a distance until they smooch instead of, oh idk, letting them do things their own way. But actually that also doesn't matter anymore bc Zoe just confessed and Mari was so inspired she immediately ran to Adrien. Oh but Adrien is a senti without free will and he goes to england soon whoopsie. Also Gabriel and Tomoe are now Adri//gami shippers because of course we need an arranged marriage deal type of plot. Oh yeah there's also something about Monarch apparently having all the miraculouses but who cares amirite

See what I mean? There's no structure, no actually overcoming problems, it's just random shit happening without any connection to the previous random shit. The characters don't develop in a meaningful way. Mari's only life goal is making one cohesive sentence in front of Adrien and he's kind of just there. I mean he could maybe feel inspired by Marinette's passion for arts and crafts and try out some stuff or he could continue to have no direction in life. Yes, as a teen it's hard knowing what you want to do later in life, but Adrien doesn't even really have actual hobbies he can define himself through. The writers fail not only to develop the relationship as a whole but also the characters involved as people. They could as easily be a situationship where they meed every two days to make out and it wouldn't change anyting. It's just fan service here and there combined with shallow and forgettable dialogue (I think, there wasn't a conversation that stick with me at least) and idk this maybe works as a first love that maybe lasts for a year before they have a dramatic break up and then move on with their lives, But the show tries to sell this idea that the square will actually stay together forever (or have a constant toxic on-off thing bc that's the vibe I'm getting. Plus Bunnyx sort of implied that).

[xdirtyxlittlexgirl]

hiiii, I love your content

Can I request a angst that go into fluff that go into soft smut hehehehe….where the reader is feeling insecure about her body and her disability which deafness so she wears hearing aids and one of the day she was looking through social media and saw hurtful comments on a post of her and Henry at some premier and Henry just cuddle her in love and yeah heheh

Thank you!!

Broken but Beautiful

Pairing: Henry Cavill X Reader

Summary: You have a hearing disability and get trolled by fans after a public appearance with Henry

Warning: Angst, fluff, hearing disability, graphic description of panic attack, depression, PTSD, stress, anxiety, trolling, cyberbullying, dom male, sly smut, PIV sex, vanilla

_

You sit by the giant glass window, curled up under a soft blanket, listening to the gentle pitter-patter of the rain outside. You loved sitting by this window and watching the rain fall on the expansive garden. It's a calming sound, one that usually puts your mind at ease. But today, your peaceful moment is shattered by the cruel words of strangers on the internet.

You had been checking Twitter to see what people had to say about you and Henry's recent public appearance, hoping for some positive comments. You both had finally publicly spoken about your relationship, and you were worried about what his fans had to say about you. Although, Henry had already anticipated the impact this would bring to you, especially because you were a non celebrity girl, but it was essential for the two of you. You found some really supportive comments and were living your dream, but very quickly you met with your worst nightmare, a barrage of hateful messages and cruel memes, all directed at you and your hearing disability.

"Who would want to date a deaf girl?"

"It must be hard for Henry to communicate in sign."

"Bro the woman would find so hard to enjoy his husky deep voice lol"

"It's like dating one of those dolls which sing an 80's pop every time you tap the botton behind her ear. Lmao"

"She be making me him scream at night. Literally. ~ Louder Henry Louder!!"

"Bro's lucky in a way. He can scream, shout, and party till late while gaming and his woman won't know a thing."

The comments cut like a knife, each one reopening old wounds and insecurities. You know that your hearing aid makes you different, that it's something that sets you apart from others. But you never expected people to be so cruel about it. Not now. It wasn't highschool anymore. You were very young, a teenager, when you were riding home with your friend from school and her dad lost control of the car, causing the car to crash. Although, everyone had small bruises, and your friend broke a bone, you had a major impact on your left ear, damaging your insides. This led you to have a partial hearing disability permanently in your left ear, bounding you to a hearing aids' mercy forever. This did affect your adolescent massively, as you faced a lot of bullying and discouragement. But when you met Henry, a year and half ago, it didn't matter. You were a grown woman now, and this was just another accessory to your life like your phone. You did have some insecurities coming into a relationship with him, but he never made you feel like you had a disability, or addressed it like it was different to him in any way. In fact, he explained how it is simply the most normal thing, and is just like him wearing his contact lenses or glasses.

The memes are even worse. Some show Henry doing exaggerated gestures with his hands, with captions like "When you have to talk to your girlfriend in sign language." Others depict you as sitting unaffected with a moaning noise in the background, insinuating Henry cheating on you and you not finding out because of your disability.

It's all too much to bear. You feel like you're suffocating under the weight of the negativity. The tears come hot and fast, blurring your vision as you scroll through the endless stream of hateful comments. You can't help but wonder if Henry is regretting his decision to be with you. Maybe he's tired of having to repeat everything twice, or of having to speak slower so you can read his lips, every time you take the aid out. Maybe he's starting to think that you're in too much trouble, that he could find someone else who doesn't come with all this baggage. The thought makes your chest ache with a pain that's all too familiar. It's the same feeling you had after the accident that left you with your hearing loss, when you thought your life was over before it even began. You close your eyes, trying to shut out the noise of the rain and the hateful voices in your head, but it's no use. The darkness closes in around you, and you feel yourself slipping deeper into the abyss of your own despair.

You'rel sitting still, hugging your knees to your chest, as the raindrops keep tapping on the window. Soon, your body is shaking with sobs, and your chest feels like it's about to explode. You're clutching your phone so tightly, your knuckles turn white, scrolling through the horrible comments about you and Henry. Your heart is pounding so hard, you can feel it in your ears, and your breathing becomes shallow and rapid. You try to take a deep breaths, but it catches in your throat, and suddenly, you can't breathe. You gasp for air, but it's like someone is sitting on your chest, suffocating you. Panic takes over your body, and you feel like you're losing control. Tears are streaming down your face, and you can't seem to stop them. You feel like you're drowning, and you need air. You try to get up, but your legs give out, and you fall to the floor, hitting the wall hard. It hurts, but you don't care. You're beyond pain at this point.

Your hands are shaking so badly, you can barely hold yourself up. You hit the wall again, and again, and again, as if that could somehow make the panic go away. But it doesn't. It just makes your hands hurt, and your head feels dizzy. You start to pull at your own hair, feeling like you're losing your mind. You want to scream, but nothing comes out. You're trapped in your own body, and it's terrifying. You try to calm down, but the panic just keeps getting worse. Your vision starts to blur, and you feel like you're going to pass out. You don't want to, but you can't seem to stop it. You feel like you're falling into a deep hole, and you can't grab onto anything to pull yourself out. The last thing you remember is the raindrops tapping against the window, as you lay there, helpless and broken, before passing out right there on the floor.

An hour later, Henry finally came home and unlocked the door. He stepped inside the house, feeling a sense of relief wash over him as he kicked off his shoes and took a deep breath. It had been a long day, and he was looking forward to spending the evening with you, enjoying some wine and your company. "Honey!" He said his voice roaring in the house. Usually, you'd come running to him by this time, but he didn't see a sign of you. He thought you were probably in the loo, so he headed straight for the bedroom, box of chocolates and bottle of wine in hand, hoping to surprise you.

But as he entered the room, he realized that something was wrong. You were nowhere to be seen. The bathroom door was open, and when he checked, you weren't there as well. "Babe?" He called out to you, but there was no response. You never left the house without informing him of your whereabouts, and especially not in a weather that bad. He searched all the rooms, growing increasingly worried as each one turned up empty. Finally, he decided to give you a call and heard the faint sound of ringing, and followed it downstairs to the back room.

There, he saw you lying on the floor next to the patio window, passed out. "Baby? Fuck!" He said his heart sank at the sight of you. He rushed over to you, removing the blanket, as he picked you up in his arms. You were so still, it was as if you weren't even breathing. Henry felt his heart rate increase with fear, as he tried to wake you up, but you remained unresponsive. "God baby wake up, what happened here?" He decided to try and bring you to senses with some water, and ran to the kitchen to grab a glass. When he returned, he sprinkled a few drops onto your face. Slowly, your eyelids fluttering open, as you murmured his name. Henry felt a rush of relief, holding you close and running his fingers through her hair. "Oh thank God baby." He said kissing your head. He knew this had happened to you before. Every time you would stress out too much, you passed out. He carried you to the bedroom, laying you down gently on the bed. As you slowly regained your bearings, he sat down beside you, holding your hand.

"What happened, sweetheart?" he asked, his voice full of concern as he rubbed circles in your hands. You explained everything to him through tears, how the comments about your hearing disability had sent you into a tailspin. Henry's blood boiled with anger as you recounted some of the cruel and hurtful things people had said. He hated this. He in fact blamed himself for it. If it wasn't for him being so famous, he could have had a normal life, and give a normal one to his family too. His popularity always kept him and his loved ones under a microscope, and one could survive only if they grow a thick skin like he did. He knew this was hitting you and would hurt you, and now he regretted announcing the relationship, seeing you like this. He hoped that people would at least have some decency, but he was wrong. The world was filled with monsters and he couldn't protect his girlfriend from them. "I am so sorry baby." He said barely over a whisper pulling you in his lap.

"Those people are just cowards hiding behind their screens," he said, trying to comfort you. "They don't know you, they don't understand what you've been through, and they definitely don't deserve to make you feel this way." He added running his hands through your hair as you sniffled, and he wiped away her tears. "I just feel so insecure about it sometimes, like it's something that makes me less than everyone else."

Henry shook his head, pulling you into a tight embrace. "No, baby girl. It's the opposite. Your hearing aid is a symbol of your strength and resilience, a testament to the fact that you've overcome obstacles that would have defeated most people. And as for those people online, they don't know anything about you. They don't know how beautiful, smart, and amazing you are. So they don't get to make you feel this way. I am sorry, I couldn't protect you from this." He said the last part, laced with guilt. "Plus it's a very normal thing. It's like me wearing contacts because I'm literally blind without my glasses. Jeez. I'm actually frustrated with what people get up to in their time and call others out on the most unexisting things." He said sounding very frustrated at this point. You looked up at him, your eyes shining with tears. "Thank you, Henry. I don't know what I'd do without you, and no this is not your fault. You can't change the world, and it is filled with horrible people. You cannot be accountable for every single one of them" He smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. "You don't have to do anything without me. I'm here, always. And I'm not going anywhere." He leaned in, pressing his lips to your in a gentle kiss. "I know I'm broken, but you make me feel so beautiful and whole" You say melting into his embrace, feeling safe and loved in his arms. "Shhh baby, you're not broken. You're just beautiful. My sweet, beautiful, and intelligent princess. You mean the world to me, and I'm pretty sure my world is all round and beautiful and perfect." He said chuckling and making you laugh. In that moment, you knew that you were exactly where you belonged.

A while later, you feel Henry's arms wrap around you as he holds you close, the scent of his cologne enveloping you, as you both cuddle on the bed after a long day. You lean into him, feeling his warmth and strength as he holds you tightly. He pours some more wine into your glass, holding it up to your lips, encouraging you to take a sip. "Here baby, take some more" he said gently as you hold the glass. "Mmm are you trying to get me drunk Mr Cavill?" You asked chuckling as he simply just shrugs and smirks. As you sit in his lap, you squirm a little as he kisses your shoulder. You can feel his breath on your neck, sending shivers down your spine. His touch is gentle and loving, and you can feel the tension slowly melting away as he continues to kiss you. He pulls the sleeves of his t-shirt that you wore, down a little and whispers in your ear, "Baby do you know how beautiful you are? Mm?" He says in his deep raspy voice. You feel your cheeks flush as he continues to shower you with compliments, telling you how much he appreciates you and how much you mean to him.

He takes the glass from your hand and turns you around to face him, his eyes locking onto yours as he leans in to kiss you deeply. You can feel the passion and love in his kiss, and you respond eagerly, your body pressing against his as your lips meet in a fiery embrace. As the kiss deepens, you can feel your bodies entwining, your hands exploring each other's bodies with newfound passion. You feel Henry's hands on your back, pulling you closer to him as he continues to kiss you deeply. As the heat between you intensifies, you lose yourself in the moment, forgetting all of your worries and insecurities as you become one with Henry. You feel his love and devotion in every touch, every kiss, and every caress, and you know that you are exactly where you are meant to be. He swiftly enters you and lays you down, gently pounding into you not once breaking the kiss completely. He slowly picks up the pace and starts to make you feel like you're the only person that matters. "Mmm fuck my sweet princess. You're so fucking beautiful. I love you" He said biting your lip in a hard kiss as you feel yourself coming hard digging your nails in his flesh, as he fills you up. "MmI love you more Hen" you say enjoying the sweetness of this euphoric bliss. In that moment, nothing else mattered. You lay in his arms, as you feel a sense of peace and contentment wash over you. You know that there will be more challenges and struggles ahead, but you also know that you will face them together, with his love and support guiding your way.

__

A/N: I hope you liked it! <3

[shebadfuckk]

Not me realizing it’s now been 6 years California sober. 🖤 huge thanks to my producer who saved my life and told me to never come back to his studio if I was gunna be high again. I remember being 78 pounds as a fucking 23 year old. It’s really embarrassing to admit, but I’m seriously so fucking proud of myself for cold turkey quitting and never looking back, not a single time.

I’m so grateful that he gave me that ultimatum because it really shook me awake to the reality of my situation when the rest of my friends were pretending like they didn’t notice, when it had to be blatantly fucking obvious. I remember the moment like it was yesterday , I was sooo ashamed when he called me out for being that high because I was always paranoid that people would notice. Plus I never thought I would even be on drugs in the first place and felt it was a wretched misrepresentation of my character, but then I had to take the long hard look at myself because I realized it wasn’t a misrepresentation at all. I just didn’t align with who I had become anymore.

I always tend to give him all the credit for that but looking back I’m realizing what a strong person I was to decide in that moment, even high as fuck that I would never do it again. The comedown was absolutely awful. I remember sitting in my bed for a week, literally telling myself over and over how I just wanted to die how I wanted to kill myself. I mean, when I talk about miserable, I can’t even find the words to encapsulate the feeling of coming down off off that shit.

He helped me save my life, though I’m 100% certain if I had not gone to the studio that night and he hadn’t called me out I would definitely be dead in a ditch somewhere. I was well on my way to death if not already more than halfway there. I don’t really talk about it a lot because there’s a lot of shame associated with it. My parents don’t know my family doesn’t know really hardly anyone knows except for the people that saw me every day and had to have witnessed it. But I just wanted to give myself a pat on the back here and tell myself I’m proud of you.

It’s discouraging how it’s affected my brain and body and I feel like I’ll never get the me before drugs back but I know so many people that have died from drugs or violence associated with drugs, and I watched them struggle with trying to quit in and out of rehab and never being able to step away.

if I didn’t have the passion that I do for music in the drive to be successful, I don’t think I would’ve ever quit so I’m totally grateful to music as well for giving me a reason to fight. It’s crazy that I really never have gotten the urge once since that conversation. Something inside me just clicked and I said I’m never doing this again and it honestly wasn’t a hard decision.

The hardest part about it was accepting who I had become, and giving myself grace because I hated myself for a long time after I got clean.

The second hardest part was realizing how much of myself I lost throughout the time I was on drugs. They really take away your entire personality and eat at you until you become a shell of yourself. Sometimes I still feel like I’m fighting to get that person back, but maybe instead of trying to find her it’s time to evolve into the new version of who I am.

I’m flawed and broken, but I’m strong and healing. ❤️‍🩹

And I’m so blessed to be alive.

If anyone out there is struggling with this just know you’re not alone and know that it’s extremely possible you just have to find something worth fighting for that means more to you than the pain you’re trying to stifle.

[theshiftingwitch]

I am trying to manifest 4 sp. Although sometimes I get discouraged by the 3d. One of them has a partner and I don't want to destroy that relationship. With the other two I have no contact and what's more, one of them we only saw each other once and he didn't notice me. And another one of them is so cute but a womanizer. They are from my university and I have one more month to make it, because I am going on a trip and I am so anxious, I affirm and I find it hard to believe a little, we still have no contact. Thank you very much for reading me, I appreciate your advice.

The 3D is only responsible for reflecting your inner world back to you. As you are now, filled with doubt and anxiety, all 4 of them suddenly have better things to do.

1- there is no relationship to destroy. That 3rd party only exists in your reality because you allow them to, and you have no idea what is happening behind the scenes anyway. Focus on the SP, not the 3p. They're already yours, it is done.

2-You decided in your head that the other sp didn't notice you. Now decide that they did, and that they can't get you out of their head. Only your assumptions matter.

3- if you don't like him being a womanizer, decide that he isn't. He only shows up as you want him to.

4- Time isn't real. You have your desires now, act as if and watch the magic happen. No contact doesn't mean anything, all 4 of them could literally be obsessing over you right now but they don't know how to approach you. All you have to do is decide that you are the person who has your four sps.

Good luck, it must feel awesome to have all four wrapped around your finger ❤️

[anneapocalypse]

My eternal biggest struggles in FFXIV--and really in any game, but it matters way more when you're playing with other people--are visual perception and by extension reaction time. I have figured out just from talking to other people about how they perceive things that I simply do not process visual information as quickly or comprehensively as some people do. If I am focusing on one part of the screen I am not seeing what's happening in the other corner. When I'm looking at the party list I am not seeing my hotbar. When I'm looking at my hotbar I am not seeing the boss's cast bar. And so forth. The ability that most people seem to have to just absorb all or most of the information on their screen just by looking? I don't have that. I have to constantly, consciously be scanning all the places where I know there's important information. It is not automatic.

Which means that unless I know to look for a specific tell--like a specific cast or a symbol over my character's head--there is a good chance I just will not see it. I hesitate to even explain this to people because it sounds like I'm making excuses or not paying attention when I say "I just didn't see it." But it doesn't matter how much I'm paying attention if I don't know what I'm looking for. I will not process it, which is functionally the same as not seeing it.

And I can learn, is the thing. I know to watch for Ancient Flare in Labyrinth of the Ancients. I know that in Shadowbringers onward, where you'll get strings of really unforgiving, rapid-fire AOEs, that it's better to focus on getting myself to safety and sacrifice a heal or two and then do damage control when they let up, than to miss an AOE because I was trying to heal, and die and force another player to interrupt their rotation to rez me. It just takes practice, and there are things I won't get on the first run, no matter how hard I try.

I do care about playing my job well. I watch guides. I practice. I do my best to learn, because I love the game and it's satisfying to play well, especially as a healer--I want to be the kind of healer that when I'm in the party, you know I've got you, that if you mess up I'll catch you, and it'll be fine. Playing a support role well is very, very satisfying and rewarding to me! And so none of the above means I'm not going to do my best, or that I'm not trying to be better.

I don't get better from people yelling at me or calling me stupid. I get flustered, I lose my flow, I blank out on things that actually are obvious. I get worse.

And the all-or-nothing attitudes from that small but real subset of veteran players is just utterly discouraging. "Either you're playing your job correctly or you're sabotaging." "There are no non-obvious mechanics in regular duties." It reads to me as "Be perfect on the first try or go fuck yourself." That is a standard I will literally never be able to meet. And I'm not saying "poor me," that's not my point. Somehow I doubt that it's a standard the majority of players are able to meet--based on my own experiences playing with sprouts in many, many roulettes.

Everyone has to start somewhere. Everyone learns differently, perceives differently, no matter how rigid the rotation of their job, no matter how "obvious" the mechanics. And for someone else who's struggling I would much rather be the person who gave them a better experience in the game than the person who gave them a shittier one. I don't want to be the person who makes someone quit trying to learn tanking for six months (as someone did to me). If you need to vent about how someone sucks, fine, do it in private. And even then, you know, maybe consider how you talk about it and to whom. Are your comments going to be the reason someone in your linkshell is terrified of learning a new role? Or the reason they're excited to try?

Personally I would rather come out of a duty with a party that struggled a bit but pressed on being kind and helping and encouraging one another and celebrated victory together, than leave someone never wanting to play again.

[urimaginarygirlfriend]

hey marie!! how are you my love??

i miss you xx 🫂💗

hiii manny!!

i miss you too, i’m sure you’ve seen me subtly stalking your page every few days. i’ve got my first uni class starting on wednesday and i’m very nervous but also very excited. it’s an intro latin class and while i’m typically terrible with languages, i feel this will be different. no one here is studying classics but i am and i feel like i’ve already isolated myself.

also, i find it hard to eat 3 meals a day. just being on campus for the weekend has proven to me that i’d rather be productive or entertained than get up and eat a meal. it is very scary as someone whose always had body issues but never an ed. i don’t want uni to be the place where it starts (as much as i pretend to). i’ve bought some snacks to keep in my dorm but i also have tea and i’m worried it’s too effective at curbing hunger.

and finally, i’ve been thinking a lot about my art and my existence as an artist in general. i want to commit to being an artist. since i decided not to go to film school or study literature, i have to be serious if i ever want to be noticed. write and create obsessively as if i’d die without it. and i think following other artists on social media has been hurting me. because i just consume their content without creating any of my own. in joana rakoff’s memoir “my salinger year,” she works as literary agent. she spends so much time reading other people’s work that she forgot she was a writer herself. that’s slowly happening to me, in some weird way.

and i feel discouraged because no one is noticing me. not even my ‘so-called’ friends! they don’t watch my videos, they don’t read my short stories, and they sure as hell don’t watch the play that i took a lot of time recording and uploading so it’d be accessible. i feel like i’m doing all i can and just nothing is working. i’m a tree falling in a forest when no one is around…

i hope to submit to some literary magazines and screenplay/playwriting contests before the end of the year. maybe make another short film too that no one will watch. idk i just don’t know how to not stagnate. i know success isn’t overnight but i look at big creators and it feels like theirs is. or at least, they had some fans at the beginning. i’m literally starting from nothing.

i got accepted into a film program at the uni of edinburgh that only accepts 20-ish students per year. they wanted to take a chance on a weird american girl making weird art. i had to say no, but they chose me. before i clicked that reject button, i was someone. i was smart and cool and creative and worth something. they looked at me and thought i could go far with only a bit of guidance. now, i’ve got nothing. i’m an idiot with a camera in one of the worst cities in the whole US and i’m rotting away my life. do i still have the chance to be someone if there’s no one looking?

sorry if this got too deep and you didn’t read to the end. i’ve been writing about this in my diary for months with no one to tell because i wasn’t sure anyone cared. but i’m sure you care… right?

[sessakag]

Fanfic Game!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you wrote smut?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

My answers!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

18

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,595,711

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(1,132 Kudos) Secrets of the Hidden Leaf, (801 Kudos) Monster, (610 Kudos) NaruHina Month Collection 2022, (538 Kudos) Prey, and (292 Kudos) Butterfly 💕

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes I do 💕There's a lot of reasons, but the two most important are 1) They keep me writing and make me really happy and I can't not reply. I love connecting with others through my stories, and that's really my biggest draw to posting publicly, the human connection and fun conversations that spawn from engaging💕2) very few people, compared to how many actually read your fic, leave comments, which can be really disappointing and discouraging for a writer, even for me and I've been writing for years. So for the people that do take the time out to say something, I have to let them know how much I appreciate them making that effort 💖

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it's a tie between A Night of Firsts and Flipping the Script? Maybe Eternal should be in here too? Fuck Around And Find Out-Literally ends pretty angsty too🤔 I've written a lot of stories, and it's hard to pick which one 😅

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is another hard one to pick, I have so many that end happy (though technically they all have a happy ending) ummm, another tie I think? Surprise! and Spellbound, ummm, maybe A Day In The Life of the Uzumaki Family too.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Yep, not a lot thankfully, but it pops up.

9. Do you write smut?

I rarely write anything but smut 🤭I'm a proud smut writer!

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've ever written?

No, never.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes, twice.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes. Butterfly translated into Português brasileiro by the amazing kilandra327! You can find it here Borboleta 🦋

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

Naruto/Hinata! NaruHina forever!💕

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

None! I will finish them all, they are all my babies. Idc how long it takes! Leave a laptop by my grave and watch me finish em'! 😤

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'm fine with it, especially if it helps immersion!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Inuyasha 🥰

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Ummmmmmm, I literally can't make a choice, lol. They are all my favorite in different ways. Top 5 though? Prey, Monster, Butterfly, A Cure For Love and Ravenous.

Those are all my answers! Thanks for the ask!

Gonna tag some folks @mrs-messy @bunny-hoodlum @dayseternal-blog @wickermayne @powerful-niya

[silentmoths]

As Fragile as a Brick wall

Masterlist||First||Previous||Next

I realized if i didnt get this chapter out soon, ya'll probably wouldnt be getting one till like, june. tears of the kingdom drops on friday boissss

Chapter 8: ding dong, sneznhaya calling

Zhongli x Afab (fem pronoun) Reader

NSFW elements in later chapters

Multi-chapter, Royal AU, angst, mentions of death, eventual fluff, eventual smut, hurt/comfort

(Wonderful header image made by the wonderful @ainescribe)

The unfortunate part about agreeing to help Zhongli with this was…well, helping Zhongli.

The unfortunate part about agreeing to help Zhongli with this was…well, helping Zhongli.

In the weeks leading up to the arrival of their Ambassador, you had to give Zhongli a crash course in how to impress a Sneznhayan. The northernmost kingdom was often seen as icy and distant, but once you got to know their customs, it was not as difficult as one would think.

However, despite your help, he still insisted you spend the next few weeks resting in your chambers, recovering from your broken rib, which meant it was you and he, stuck in very close quarters as you explain every little detail. You had spent plenty of time in the land of snow in the years he had been gone, after all, you had been set to marry their prince…which is why they were now upset with Zhongli.

“So what was the prince like, anyway?” He asks you one day as you go over things again with him, you wince.

“Ugh Ajax?” you grumble “I mean…he’s alright? He’s not actually the Tsaritsa’s kid…apparently she could never conceive, so she adopted him.”

Zhongli raises an eyebrow as he looks up from his paperwork “Truly? I’m sure there’s some sort of loophole we could exploit there…” “Don’t try.” You warn him “She loves Ajax more than life itself. It’ll just make more problems.” 

Zhongli hums, leaning his head against this hand as he watches you.

“Did you like Ajax?” He asks after a moment.

“Like I said, he’s alright…but he…I dunno…there’s something about him that always kinda freaked me out?”

“Oh? Do explain.” Zhongli presses, watching as your brow furrows.

“It’s… hard to explain I guess.” you start with a sigh “Sometimes he’s great…he’s funny, smart…a genuinely cool person to hang out with…I would consider him a friend.”

Zhongli notes the conflicted look upon your face, and the way you fall silent as you consider you next words, he finds himself invested, what on earth was wrong with the prince of the snow to cause his own little love such confusion?

“Sometimes it’s like…a switch would flick in him.” You eventually manage out after several long minutes of trying to figure out the right words. “So…Ajax has always been interested in combat, he’s a member of the royal guard as well as being the prince….right?”

Zhongli nods, not entirely unheard of…hell, the king had once spoken to Zhongli about the potential of his sons, her brothers, joining the guard…an idea Zhongli had quickly discouraged because…to be honest, they wouldn’t have survived a day.

“No one will spar against him.” 

“I mean, he’s the prince-” Zhongli adds.

“No you don’t understand, Zhongli. It’s not that no one will fight him because of his status…it’s because those foolish enough to fight him…don't usually come out in one piece…literally.” 

At first, He thinks she’s joking, but he can see it in her eyes, that… haunted look, and he finds himself invested.

“Like I said…it’s a switch…the moment combat happens… he goes from this sweet, kinda goofy guy to… the only words I have for it is… bloodthirsty monster” you sigh.

“Hm…he seems a rather… interesting character…” 

“That’s a word for it.” You huff.

“And what of this Ambassador? Do you happen to know him?” 

At this, you perk up a little “Yes actually! I’ve met him a couple of times… he’s one of the funny ones that goes by a weird name.” “You mean like the captain of the guard is literally called Capitano?” Zhongli snorts, you nod.

“Yep, just like that.” you sigh “His name is Pantalone- Don’t you start!” 

“Start what?” Zhongli snickers, receiving a pillow to the face “His name is pants-”

“ I know!” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose “I know his name is pants.”

Sometimes…

Sometimes you found Zhongli’s presence a little less frustrating than you used to

—-

“Um…your highness-” Zhongli mutters from beside you.

“I see him.” you grunt; already feeling a vein ready to pop in your head “I thought you said they were sending the Ambassador”

“They said they were”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, already you were very tired of today. Sure your rib had been healed for several weeks, but it had been a very long time since you’d had to dress up this fancily… and you’d even broken out the formalwear the Tsaritsa had tailored for you upon your first visit to them.

“So why then…am I seeing the prince…and his happy gaggle of men…approaching the castle?” you ask, your voice is terse and thin, this was not what was meant to happen, even Zhongli looks absolutely and utterly confused. 

“You know him better than I do…” Zhongli sighs, also looking equally as uncomfortable. For all the king he was, it was not often that he had to dress so regally, even you knew he was far more used to chainmail and plate, not heavy, ornate suits. 

“Is it to late to back out-” 

“Absolutely.”

”Damn.” you sigh, this was about to get…*uncomfortable*

You find yourself standing beside the throne: on Zhongli’s right, as the throne room doors burst open. In the corner of your eye you see both Zhongli’s grip on the arms of the throne tighten, and Xiao, stationed to his left, hand tightening on the hilt of his sword as your ex-fiance bounds into the room like an unruly child.

There is a moment where all is still, as if time stops as his eyes land on you.

And in the next moment, he’s sprinting towards the throne, manic look upon his boyish features. You see Zhongli poise to stand, Xiao taking hold of his sword properly, and then you’re engulfed by strong, and unfortunately familiar arms as Ajax laughs warmly. 

This was what you were afraid of. 

The prince lifts you from your feet and twirls you like you weigh nothing, as you spin, you spy Ganyu, by the doors, her eyes wide in shock at his display.

“My little krolik!” Ajax laughs as he finally ceases the godawful spinning and sets you down, his eyes are bright and his smile is wide as he looks you up and down. “It’s so good to see you again!” 

You don't see it, but you can feel the absolute fury radiating off of Zhongli when Ajax leans in to do exactly what you knew he’d do next, and you thankfully, shift your head in time. He kisses you, thanks to your quick movement, it’s only on the corner of your mouth, before he continues kissing affectionately up your cheek and to your forehead. 

If it wasn't for the fact you were trying to pry this idiot prince off you, you probably would have found this situation funny, but there was no room for ruining Zhongli’s day here. 

“Ajax…I wasn’t expecting you.” You finally manage to huff out as you push the overly affectionate prince away, but he simply grins, totally uncaring that he’s not yet introduced himself to the King, right beside him. “We were told Ambassador Pantalone-”

“Oh! Yeah as soon as I heard ol’ Pants was being sent here I immediately took over! I wanted to see you again my darling krolik!” Ajax interjects “I wanted to make sure you were alright!”

“Ajax.” you sigh, shaking your head, you knew he was impulsive but this? This was something else entirely. “I know I left in a hurry last time but have you no faith in my abilities?” 

“Ahem…” Xiao is the one to finally save you with his well timed, if not violently forced cough, snapping the prince’s attention away from you and to Zhongli, who is raising a none-too-impressed eyebrow at the boy.

“Oh, Right! Heya!”

Heya… this idiot has just come all the way from his home country as the representative…and he greets the king with a heya. 

You’re sure the sound of your palm making contact with your face echoes loudly throughout the throne room.

 —-

You are thankful that after such a long trip, dinner and sleep is the only thing on Ajax and his men’s minds, you personally escort Ajax to his room and bid him goodnight, if only to know he would no longer bother you. Considering he’d all but attached himself to your arm the entire day, just like he did every time you had been to Sneznhaya since being promised to him. 

You did your best to keep him from saying anything… inflammatory in front of Zhongli, you didn't want a war breaking out, but goddamn you also did not want to be here.

Even if watching Zhongli’s eye twitch every time Ajax got affectionate with you was somewhat entertaining.

In order to return to your own chambers from the guest wing, you find yourself shambling past the king’s study…you didn’t even notice the lantern lit inside, until you hear your name called from within.

Zhongli sits, at his desk, a bottle of a fine looking, amber coloured liquid in his hand. As you poke your head inside, he grabs not one, but two glasses.

Honestly after the day you’d had? You don't question it, entering silently and shutting the door behind you before you drop, ungraciously, into the chair on the opposite side of the desk, with enough force that the pile of paperwork set upon the mahogany and gold tabletop shudders. 

It’s silent, as Zhongli sets down both glasses and pours the whiskey, there is silence as you take your glass.

There is silence as he raises his own and clinks it against yours and there is silence as you both throw back the drinks.

”That is a prince!?” Zhongli howls as he slams down his glass, the paperwork gives another shudder.

”Excuse you.” you grunt ”that. Is my ex-fiance!” 

Zhongli snorts at the exact moment you crack a small grin, he motions for you to hold out your glass again as he refills his own. You share another shot in silence.

“He is aware that he is an ex, yes?” He asks, you shrug.

“He should! I mean…even his mother knows…”

“Is he stupid?”

You look over your glass at Zhongli, raising a single eyebrow.

He pours you another glass as an apology for a stupid question.

“If you are as smart a man as I remember, you will have more of this on hand.” you eventually mumble as you turn the amber liquid around in your glass “we’re going to need it.”

Zhongli scoffs at you.

“This is the youngest of my collection.”

“By the time this is over, we’ll need the vintage.” 

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