#Yeah ig just to be safe.

[drag0nalias0]

Hrng. Its kinda just hitting me that its febuary rn.

Another valentines day is coming up soon. Sometimes i feel like im the only one who gets a slightly bitter taste in the mouth when i think of the holiday. Like i love putting blorbos and such into valentines situations. But well... if i think about myself during valentines day it just bring back that one scene from a few years ago. I wonder how shes doing now. I wonder if she ever thinks of me. Fuck, now im sadder than i was before :(. Anyway i hope shes doing well... i wish our paths would cross again. However i doubt she has many fond memories of me. I was too clingy back then. I mean i see a mutal friend most days so if i really wanted to... but a coward will always be a coward. I wish i was better to her. I just miss her so much. If i was just a little less intense with my weird interests she probably would have let me stay a little longer. I wonder if she still remembers when we used to hang out. I still have a little bit of the valantines choclate she gave me... still in the bear packaging just sitting in my side drawer.

At this point ive kinda forgottern what she looks like. I dont think ive ever taken a photo with her. I was such an idiot. I just remember a ginger bob cut. So vibrantly orange i kept thinking it was dye. Her things were around the same size as mine. I remember being so insecure about being "fat". I wasnt. Just most other people were quite skinny. I honstly loved how she stood out from the stick thin girl i always saw. She was just so very beautiful. Sometimew i fear ill never fall in love with someone the same way i was in love her. Sometimes i fear ill never fall in love at all.... The other thing was the way she wispered to me. She said some rather innapropriate stuff. She also kabedonned me a few time. It was one of the best things i ever experienced....

Anyway if i really really wanted to give someone valentines choclates there are 2 people i could think of giving it to, i mean i find them more attractive than most people and i like both of them a lot (also both of them are the only trans people i know irl so t4t agenda) . However it probably would be too weird so i guess not. Although i could do one of them (mutual friend mentioned earlier) if i done it anonmously....

ugh this is cringe