#YAY RAMBLE TIME
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(The werewolf was you)
#FINALLY DOOONE#primarily via my left hand etc etc go easy etc etc#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#dgs2 spoilers#tgaa2 spoilers#dgs spoilers#tgaa spoilers#the great ace attorney spoilers#tgaac spoilers#YAY RAMBLE TIME#the reason why i chose to do the top panel the way i did is actually multifaceted#besides making him look like a werewolf‚ it uses the idea of taking one's just crimes (ex an animal killing to survive)#and putting them on the body and actions of an unjust killer#which is what happened! genshin's actions were noble‚ and yet he was the one framed as ruthless monster#and also because it's swaggy af#if you guys are starting to pick up on it there are 100% artistic motifs i have an addiction to#DID I NOT TAG HIM HOLDON#klint van zieks#none of these tags are sensible btw SORRY#the deduction of art
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growing up!
#FALLS TO THE FLOOR!!!!#so shocking news: the silver artbook actually killed me a little. this is the first finished pic ive made since#wow isnt it crazy that 26 completed illustrations would kinda take it outta ya. bananas. i need to Not do a full bg again for a minute#i had the stupid thought like 'oohhgh i could do a series of silver and lilia as hes growing up!!' im HITTING ME!!! NO MORE SERIES!!!#I CAN DO NON-RELATED PICS OF THAT IF I MUST!!! THE PRESSURE OF A SERIES IS TOO TIRING RN!!!!#my life is a whirlwind i JUST moved and now might need to move again bc id make a ton more#im trying to sell my house and its going very poorly. im doing well at work. ID HAFTA MOVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY AGAIN#ID BE BACK NOOOORTH id go to pennsylvania <3 im from new york so the thought of being closer to my mom is rly nice#and i have friends there both from high school and ohiiiio and new england etc etc!!!! YAY!!!#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#lilia vanrouge#suntails#did u miss this. be honest. when i vanish for months at a time do u miss the rambling life updates. theyre who i am
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Almost
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#zutara fanart#Wip#First page of three is done!!!#Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!!#It's been ages since I started this project omg#But it's worth it#Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho#I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you#Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that.#Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first...#... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol#Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits#And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one...#And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts#So uh#Yeah#Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay)#Dema out#(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious)#(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)
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hi mutuals send me ur ocs now
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women are my specialty ✨
#amanda lehan canto#smosh#I love her#sarah christ#you know what time it is everyone! time for me to post an Amanda vid that no one cares about!!!! YAY!!!!#everyone cheered!!!!!#video#rambles#?
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If you wouldn't mind, could you explain to me in detail how your sifloop works? Would there ever be a romantic relationship between the two (and how do you think they would get to that stage) or do you just think they'll be stuck in this weird messed up obsession and loathing loop forever? Anyway your takes on sifloop are my favourite if you couldn't tell
Oh, I've been depicting it as romantic the whole time (remembers I'm asexual and aromantic and thus my depictions of such are alien at best) Er, though you'd be forgiven for not noticing.
I know I don't draw them being particularly traditionally cute (kissing, cuddling, etc) (even though I do envision that any time it's not literally extremely inconvenient that they are entangled like a pair of magnetised squiddles) particularly often.*
(Though, I do have some hints at that kind of behaviour: (x) (x) (x)) But this is where, hm, my particular readings of these characters' self-assessment comes in.
I believe that I (an aroace tumblr user who has been immersed in nuianced language about such things since i was an early teen) and Siffrin/Loop (a guy approaching their thirties who seems to have escaped social pressures primarily via isolation from their peers) will have some different views on things. Hell, Sif/Loop don't even have words for Asexuality and Aromanticism even if they seem to be able to point toward the feeling with roundabout language.
I think that their relationship, in the way that it would manifest, would first and foremost be Physical. Some real Maslow's hierarchy shit. Both of them are viciously touch starved and given the whole shared-ownership-of-body thing I keep alluding to (x) (x) I think they are prone to being a tangled pile of limbs both clothed and unclothed.
Now I (enlightened modern day asexual) do not think that physical/sexual/romantic are in any way synonyms unless you want them to be. I believe that literally all associated behaviours of these can be platonic if that's how you feel about it. Howeverrrrrrr. I really cannot envision "black-and-white-thinking-world-champion siffrin and/or loop" being able to disentangle that so easily. I think they would have trouble squaring the circle of certain actions not being reserved for romance, at least not until after several years of continued unpacking and philosophical discussion with Mirabelle and Odile.
And then there's the part where Siffrin/Loop (and also Isabeau!) have some absolutely insane Jealous streaks. Not even on the downlow, they just do. I think that combination of jealousy and posessiveness when paired with unevenly splitting time between A Guy You're Established To Be (at the very least on his side, romantically) In Love With, and Your Weird Fucking Clone Who You Keep Being Intimate And Intensely Emotional With, is going to cause some problems when it comes to labelling things.
I do not think Sif/Loop are stupid, but man do they ever lack emotional intelligence in a lot of areas (a thing the whole game hammers home). I do not think that they would be level-headed enough to independently invent the idea of "QPR, but the kind where you do basically fuck sometimes". I think they would just (agonise over cheating, first of all.) call it a romantic pairing and be done with it.
And then Isabeau is also there I guess. I gesture at him and at my aforementioned Iseabeau Torment Nexus thoughts (x)(x). I believe this polycule can work and even be healthy but hahahaha oh man they are gonna have some weirrrrrrd fuckin tension beforehand lolllll.
as for how i think they'd get to that stage? lol, lmao. I think of things with a lens of 'what would be the most narratively intense' a lot of the time, so my answer there is:
They basically act like one right out of the gate, at least to the average onlooker**. This makes the fights feel worse. This makes them both paranoid in different ways about how this affects Siffrin's relationship to Isabeau. This makes it more difficult for the party to go "hey so, your friend, we're all being very accepting of their sharp edges because they're clearly someone who's struggling, but why are they suuuuch an asshole?". They fret about this and it causes more push and pull as either side feels guilty about this relationship they're not 'supposed' to have. Even if their relationship woes could easily be squared away by either categorising it as a QPR or talking to Isa (who is vaugardian and probably thus lax about polyamory) neither of them are going to do that right out of the gate because they lack the language, are prone to being wracked by guilt, often assume the worst will happen should they talk about difficult topics, and straight up maybe just see intimacy/sexuality/romance as a package deal due to lacking the social expertise... You see what I mean.
I don't Know if what I envision is... The literal platonic ideal of "A Romantic Relationship". I don't know that if Cupid came on down and inspected my brain that they'd agree that this is romantic and not just like, something really fucking weird, man. I don't even know if I would call it romantic, necessarily. BUT. I Do Think. That These Two. Would Maybe Label It That Way. Because it would make it easier for them to understand and come to peace with that way. Which is what matters. Labels are Descriptive, not Prescriptive.
What I DO think i envision however is something so fucking aroace brained that i can point to sif/loop's canon labels, point to MY labels, and then give you a big thumbs up hoping that you won't get on my ass for implying several sentences upstream that "they probably basically fuck, or something, idk, does star-sucking count as sex? i'm not a doctor nor medical professional of any kind. you probably shouldn't drink whatever comes out of it though"
Implicit question 2: "Jesus Christ you make them seem to hate each other, is that not contradictory? Is that all supposed to be during them being romantically involved?" Yup! Sorry for the subtle undercurrent I haven't previously explicitly and overtly established literally at all but a good chunk of that percieved hatred is a byproduct of Loop keeping their identity secret. That's the space wherein I set most of my fanart. (x) Once that cat is out of the bag I think the heat cools off significantly because then they aren't both talking around each other trying not to actually say what they're fighting about. They can actually bond about shared experiences out in the open rather than keeping their traps shut in case the party overhears. They still fight and have problems thereafter, but it's not made worse by being unable to directly discuss the core issue (+ the party can actually contribute/try to shut things down rather than being unclear on what exactly the issue is)
The above ALSO not helping when it comes to jealousy/feelings of infidelity re: Isabeau. (When specifically in the context of Romantic Frustration here, since that jealousy extends to the whole party when generalised) So that adds another thing to, not necessarily fight about, but be bitter over.
As for hatred being contradictory. Mmm. Nah.
The opposite of Love is not Hate. It is Indifference. (A theme ISAT notably gets at). Hate is distinctly something you do if you care. Often if you care Way Too Much.
I try not to write them hating each other, so much as feeling extremely intensely about each other. (x)
Feeling intensely Thankful, Understood, Sorry, Trapped, Devoted, Jealous, Protective, Pitying, Indebted...
^ Scary ! Complicated ! Hard to deal with ! Even the positive ones can be overwhelming! It's gonna make things weird!
So uh, Yeah. There's your answer? I suppose tl;dr: I view relationships as nebulous and only defined by those in it. (This is something I have previously yapped about at length in essays about my OCs lol) And generally view that there's no "true" label for any relationship except the one that doesn't cause undue distress. (which. i mean it does here. but it probably works out in the end with enough talking)
Asking me to define if something is romantic is like asking me to pin down the true form of the Human Soul. Like dawg i dont know how to do that i dont even know if that shit is real. there are merely actions and their constructed societal categories. If i tell you I think they kiss sometimes does that clear it up? (It shouldn't, obviously, but you get what I mean)
But yeah. Gestures broadly. Shipping an ace (and maybe even aroace based on some shit that little fella says) character like this means it comes with an essay. Because it necessarily interfaces with their nonstandard mode of interaction in that arena. The part where its weirdo fucking ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ selfcest merely adds a layer.***
... Anyway I'll leave you with this. The mirasifloop qpr "so what is.... romance?" discussion sessions are probably downright dialectical aren't they. Feelings Buddies discuss the phrase "Self-Love" 23467324235 dead 3 injured
*i do have like . 2 wips. that would. include this kind of behaviour explicitly. but i simply have not gotten around to them yet. and also don't worry neither of them are purely fluff both of them still have an air of worrying fuckedupedness about them. yay !
** inkeeping with my "geared for maximal conflict" mind, this can be flavoured with some "technically nobody can say it's not canon, I guess?" during-the-game Sifloop. By handing them the 'started leaning on each other for comfort more blatantly toward the end of a4' thing, since, well, I think exploring the "Loop expected at least one of them to be dead by the end of this/Loop never expected this to end, and thus began filling in that 'Lover' role as comfort/pity/selfishness/mercy given their knowledge that Isabeau is forever out of reach for both of/at least one of them" angle is... Well it's certainly fuckin' compelling that's for sure. Like oops, you let the timeloop malaise get to you and maybe started a trist because you thought you'd be dead before there'd be any lasting consequences. Here's those consequences, motherfucker !! But you won't catch me putting that explicitly in my comics because I don't want to change anything about the raw text of canon when I'm exploring its consequences. However, nothing I do is Incompatible with this read. And I enjoy making things more tortured so. Shrugs and hands this to you. Be free. (....x)
*** those of you that know what i mean by this just had all of it click just now didnt you. lol.
#lucabytetalks#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sifloop#sloops#okay for once i dont actually have shit to say in the tags because i just wrote it all up there. bye#long post#christ alive it it a long post#anyway thanks adrienne for the asexual characters i love to gnaw on giving them complexes re: interpersonal relationships and weird#approaches and conflicting emotions vis a vis intimacy. its nice to have a soapbox to ramble abt this that isnt my own ocs for once#and also sorry for using your characters (and this anon. sorry lol) as a soapbox. but also yay soapbox i love to be on a soapbox
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Chibi Gonta for the soul <3
#gonta gokuhara#gokuhara gonta#danganronpa#v3#ndrv3#moth#ladybug#my art#cw bugs#told myself I'll publish smth happy/cute with him before the end of the year and yay I managed to do it!#it's still 2024 for me 8D#...and it's actually smth I drew instead of posting old wips OTL#well the sketch was almost a year old lmao but I did finish it in past few days so still!#no special meaning behind flowers other than that those simply are some of my fav flowers (and bugs!)#tho I did check out of curiosity and huh they all have quite wholesome meanings at least in my country#mostly stuff like fortitude strength memory of loved ones joy or expression of hope in times of loneliness that causes fear of loss#chaber bławatek#kaczeniec błotny#mniszek lekarski#(not drawn 100% accurately but eh good enough)#The fortitude and strength in facing hardships for mniszek is very funny bc it indeed it's a flower that's chill to grow on pure cement XD#but yeah I do associate moths with Gonta xD ya know... fluffy... cute... drawn to light/fire... and all that#ramble off#happy new year everyone
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he's a nom nom warframe
#yay rhino befriend everyone in the world#his mission is not unbeatable but still a pain in the ass doing them solo#dante and glaive prime solves almost everything#i miss arcane energize. the only problem i have is not having enough energy#but i need nourish so fine i'll do it#(spent half an hour on excavation btw)#also applies to hildryn and exploiter orb#if i never know how good pillage is i won't suffer the trouble of maxxing out fortuna standing and learn the boss just for her#ramble time#i draw very little recently idk why. maybe i just need to take some time off drawing once in a while#voreframe#oops typo but also not a typo lol#warframe#warframe grendel#warframe rhino#warframe volt#warframe gauss#warframe gauss prime#my art
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Please don't hurt yourself
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#library of ruina#hod#hod lobcorp#hod lobotomy corporation#hod library of ruina#erm... michelle. hii michelle. going to have to spoiler tag for you though baby#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#okay i think thats it#no shading because this made me want to KILL YMSELF#it looks fone w out it anyways. yay. thank you filter after effects for saving my ass this . hurt me so muchh to try to finish#nothing specific that had me make this. at least from lobcorp lor. its more of having more empathy towards my past self or when i was young#than me. right now. it feels as if the past is so devoid of my current self yet i know that its Me. its just so distant. to the point where#at times it feels as if the me of the past is devoid of the current me. im told im very empathetic? hard to tell. that im patient and kind#or more of understanding to everyone but Myself. so when i try to be kind to myself it feels impossible. but im able to do it to my past se#which makes a disconnect. please dont hurt youself. please dont hate youself. you dont need to do that. i know you want to live it hurts#i know. its alright to want to live. you dont need to apologize and feel Guilty. but never towards Myself. to console and wish to soothe bu#not to the current self. to pardon and accept but not to this Me. so i wanted to put it down kinda. felt most similar to hod ish.#its guilt for living. apologizing for existing. wanting to be accepted and pardoned. but also forgiving and accepting the self of before#not so much forgiving. forgive is a weird word. the hurt never leaves. and the guilt is there regardless. but. yknow. accept#sorry some random shit. yappin. who gaf abt that guy. who was that guy. anyways. hod <3 HODD!!!#just like to ramble abt what i think abt when i go to make pieces. since i uhh dont really have anyone to tell who would care. so. awkward.#god thats embarrassing actuallt migjt delete if im not lazy asf later. loser oversharing on the internet AHH 💥💥#uhmm back to the actual piece. the proportions and fhe coloring were having me feel like i was dging trying to get it right. almost#considered just gettinf rid of it and scrapping the whole piece. didnt though. wanted to have it done and finished. hod <3#the feeligns described arent what i would relate w hod? but closest chatacter towards the general thougut. so wanfed to draw her#i wanted to do more w ligjting and such as well. but it never ended up getting in. maybe later
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alright. i know the pretty much accepted fandom standard for arthur (specifically when john has his eyes) (or john in human form as well) is gold eyes. i love it! genuinely!!
hear me out.
dark eyes. darker than the black behind the stars, darker than imagining. even a prolonged inspection couldnt show where pupil meets iris, not that arthur is often still enough for that sort of thing. its the kind of darkness that things hide in, the kind that makes you feel like things are looking back. dark enough that you are prey. dark enough that you have to look away after a moment. eyes like a hole in space has been centered in the whites of them, absorbing all light. his eyes are always moving, scanning, searching, hunting? no, that cant be quite right, he speaks like a gentleman and looks far too thin to do any kind of harm. but at the same time, he is littered in scars and youve never quite seen eyes like that on any living thing before, let alone a fellow human. his eyes are so dark.
#got a bit carried away but yall get the picture i hope#i am converting to dark eyes arthur propoganda btw#i already decided brown eyes arthur when he was pre-john but like. what if his eyes get darker :)#be daniel seeing your son in law for the first time since your granddaughter died and you cant quite place whats off about him#besides the scars obviously#and then you realize his eyes are black instead of brown now#slowly dawning realization your son in law is kinda really majorly fucked up now yay#ebb rambles#malevolent#arthur lester#john doe#unreality#paranoia#just a bit towards the end but i figured id tag it anyway#if theres a better tag for what ive got there please someone let me know
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I recently started reading (and ended up dropping partway through) an m/m retelling of an old legend, and it made me think of this reoccurring thing I've come across a handful of times now in m/m fiction and how they approach women, equality, and world-building.
Let's call it the omegaverse problem, because that's where it seems the most blatant (I've only come across it twice outside of fandom spaces that I can remember). Basically, it's when the writer looks at the unequal and sometimes oppressive roles women serve in society (today and historically), and goes 'this is a good basis for dark romance but there are too many women here' and then just. plops men into the roles traditionally served by women and recreates heteronormative tropes but They're All Men Now, none of those icky women.
Now, completely removing any and all gender based inequality isn't a bad basis for a queer-inclusive fantasy! But thing is, this type of narrative isn't interested in women, so they often read as if women have mysteriously disappeared from society (except for the occassional mom or sister). They don’t bother to include women in traditionally male areas (the book I dropped had plenty of male courtesans, with diplomats and bodyguards and advisors also being male) nor to create new roles for them.
They also generally don’t bother to look critically at the systemic and societal inequalities they're mimicking. The concept 'typically sexist society but they're all men (or all women)' could be used to alienate and deconstruct our ideas of what’s 'normal' and what’s oppressive, a way to compare the intersections of class and gender. Instead, this kind of story is only interested in using inequality as inter-character conflict and set-up for romance. And it sucks.
#rambles#i assumed going in that the original legend (which i was unfamiliar with) was a bromance kind of thing#and that the author was reimagining it as explicitly queer#but it kept feeling like one of the roles had simply had 'she' replaced with 'he'#and looking up the original yeah it was an m/f romance#and switching that up to m/m is obviously fine!#but women felt so wholly removed from the worldbuilding and the narrative where they had been central that it started feeling like erasure#if it wanted to be a sort 'gender blind' world where women and men could equally fill all roles that would've been so easy to do!#literally any of the side characters could’ve been gender flipped!#but no everyone but the supportive sister and dying mom Must Be Men#this is what you get when the author doesn't slow down to think about the implications of the worldbuilding#good fantasy always thinks about the implications of the worldbuilding!!#anyway i would usually have had this rant in a review/critique#but my personal policy is to never review a book a didn’t finish so. tumblr complaining time instead. yay#nella talks books
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undergarment studies? just channeling my love for historical fashion ... i suppose i've tried to do something similar for kakania but this time it's actually more accurate for her. some thoughts and observations under the cut
• isolde's style of dress is remarkably outdated for her time. i recall this being something marcus actually pointed out about her
• that being said, her dresses would likely have been in style in the 1880s-90s, judging from the silhouette and sleeve shapes of the dresses. so it'd make sense for her to wear a corset from that era to shape the silhouette of her body
• in isolde's trailer there was a brief moment where she was shown tying up her own corset from the back. this is what i referenced for her. so i didn't even have to do much to figure her out, bluepoch basically already did it for me
• i suppose i did end up figuring out the front view myself but it's fairly straightforward when you have references and a general idea of how corsets are supposed to look like
• she wears a petticoat to cover her lower half
• kakania's style of dress is more contemporary, so the same should go for her undergarments
• i imagine her wearing "combination" undergarments, which are basically the chemise and drawers (essentially the most important pieces of undergarments at the time) combined into one clothing item. those were popular in the 1910s. (i've drawn her with a corset before but eventually realized that there were other more fitting options for her)
#reverse 1999#reverse 1999 isolde#reverse 1999 kakania#isolde#kakania#do i tag ship ... you know what i'll do it#isokania#i just couldn't separate them yknow#sketch#fanart#titaniumart#historical fashion#1900s#1910s#hhghdjfjfjfjdjfjfgggg#all for the sake of better yuri!!! yay#surprisingly not much tag rambling this time. most of the stuff i needed to say is under the readmore
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“Merry Christmas, Mommy,” Tim whispers, knelt at her bedside, holding her hand. “I saved you this time. I hope that’ll fix everything.” He sniffles, and presses his face against her hands. They’re warm. “Please wake up, okay? I promise I’ll never complain about you missing a birthday ever again. I can’t lose you too.”
or; the tail end (hopefully) of a time loop, told in snapshots of tim displaying mental illness in front of bruce & dick, who really don’t know what is wrong but already love this kid enough to want to fix it anyway
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debugging a full stack project is fucking up your entire frontend before realizing the solution is actually just a minor fix in the backend
#yay <3#and now trying to remember what state my frontend was in before I started this fucking debug ramble#like dude mmaybe think more than 3 minutes before u start to ''fix'' things goddamnit#I'll get there again I have just commented out a bunch of stuff and gotta figure out what blocks of code were there at the same time#it's a weird puzzle here rn#codeblr#november 2024#2024
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I’m about to hop on a plane and my first thought was “TO SPACE” … for SOME reason
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one-sided v4v where the v2 fights are just a way to get attention but v1 doesn't care at all
#this is actually canon#jk but i was thinking about how it was pointed out that gabriel and v1's wings match each-other's main colours (which yay cute ^_^)#and huh. wait a second. v2 can have blue wings#:)#and v1's wings don't change colour. interesing. i will be using this knowledge#there's also something to be done with the meaning of the blue wings but uuuuuuu idk#there's angst potential but. i dont feel like prodding at this thought rtn#go. be free#v1#v2#v4v#ultrakill#ig the wing thing implies gabv1el but honestly i think its fun if gabriel's feelings (whatever they are) are also one-sided#v1's true love is uhm. P-ranking everythign hashtag aro swag#k break time over back to studying#ramblings#edit: WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A TYPO#its fixed now. whadda hell
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