#Y'ALL I ACTUALLY CANT

[foxy-kitsune]

going fereal over lee haechan has become a daily thing for me at this point

[almost-emerald-eyes]

I don't know what to do with myself during summer break but school sucks too and literally like. what. what do I do. what do I like. do I have hobbies?? yeah, probably, but I haven't done them in so long that I can't anymore.

I haven't had real time to myself in so long that I don't know how to do that anymore

[hemipenal-system]

this is a forcefem (trans affirming genderplay) space, not a forcefem (whatever weird misogyny shit y'all got goin on) space. get on hrt or get the fuck out

[jade-len]

Tired, 39 year old Shen Yuan is constantly nagged by his parents about giving them grandchildren. At a certain point, they were done with begging for him to marry a nice lady and just skipped to pleading for grandkids.

While the idea of having a child does make his heart yearn in a way that will definitely be dangerous if thought about for too long, he just doesn't have the time! No way! And what kind of father would he be, secretly reading cheesy, terrible webnovels in his free time? Which, mind you, is rare nowadays. He'd like to spend that valuable time getting rest via napping, thank you very much.

So what if Shen Yuan's heart swells when he sees his students run up to their parents with adorable, toothy grins? So what if he treats his class like they're his own children from time to time, spoiling them silly and proudly wearing the badge of "Best Teacher!" every year? So what if he wants a child to call his own!?

To love and care for a child, Shen Yuan has accepted that it would simply be a privilege he'll never experience.

...Think, think! Don't get so mopey now, Shen Yuan! Try to outweigh the baby fever with the pessimism you (slightly) obtained from your mean older brother!

How about this: There'll be no time for himself, none at all! Just more and more work. Come home from his job, dealing with a bunch of rowdy kids to find your own permanent little monster running around the house! At least he's getting paid for the first one!?

Shen Yuan had seen those videos and posts of kids accidentally exposing their parents embarrassing tendencies. Knowing him, his hypothetical child would have piles upon piles of blackmail on the Shen family's youngest son! Leave this old man alone, alright? Non-existent dumpling, theoretical baobei, please don't be so careless with your father's reputation...

(It would be careless too, to become a gaping hole in the heart of his child. Wouldn't it be selfish to have one, only to die a few years later?)

Over a decade ago, believe it or not, this esteemed Mr. Shen had gone by the shameless persona of "Peerless Cucumber" on the internet. He'd been an infamous anti-fan of the male power fantasy stallion web-novel series, Proud Immortal Demon Way and would leave scalding essay-length comments and posts ranting about its terrible plot point and flaming the author for his awful characterization and overall writing. That era of his life was when he actually had the time to stare into the digital sea of texts and write entire documentaries as replies for twelve hours straight. Fortunately or unfortunately, Shen Yuan doesn't have the same luxury as of now.

Despite the constant hate spewing from his younger self, present-day Shen Yuan is honestly very impressed by the constant thousand word updates every day. Honestly, looking back, how did that man accomplish that? Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, dear author, are your hands okay? Youthful Shen Yuan's hands cramped all too much from simply typing up angry comments, now imagine PIDW's author??

Aaah, yes, the former hater Peerless Cucumber had long forgotten about PIDW. The author mysteriously disappeared one day, leaving Luo Binghe out on his own for more wives to dual cultivate with as Shen Yuan had realized his passion for literature (and critique!).

With a newfound, realized passion in his heart, Shen Yuan went off to actually pursue the college education his parents had very lovingly saved (and were ecstatic he was actually using) and became a literature teacher! NEET 21 year old Shen Yuan would be quite astonished to see this dignified Mr. Shen now, yes, very much so indeed.

Now, Shen Yuan.. doesn't quite remember PIDW all too well. He begrudgingly admits that it holds a dear and special place in his heart, but in all honesty, Shen Yuan can remember merely a handful of the wives and plot points. Ah, this is what happens when you actually get a life, interesting! Clap it up!

The most Shen Yuan remembers is the stallion novel character, Luo Binghe. His favorite, and - he really can’t stress this enough - an absolutely wasted potential of a character. Shen Yuan may be an older and wiser man who doesn't waste constant time on the internet like before, but that only means he actually has a degree to be critic. Serves all of those self-righteous, questioning commenters right from all those years ago! Look at him now!

Importantly however, Shen Yuan also remembers just how badly he wanted to coddle the protagonist, blackening or not, pre-abyss, post-abyss, even as a demonic tyrannic emperor! Can you believe that none of Luo Binghe's wives wanted to squeeze his cheeks and kiss his forehead!? Master Airplane, throw in some fluff, will you? Spare the poor boy from all of these succubi (metaphorically and literally) and let him take a nap! Ahhh, who really cares if Luo Binghe has a kingdom he needs to take over? Throw a blanket on him! Cranky, old Mr. Shen knows the feeling of being terribly overworked, so imagine how the protagonist feels!? Shen Yuan nods his head approvingly at the thought.

All of those mistresses flocking over to Luo Binghe... If Shen Yuan were his guardian, he would kick them all out without a second thought in place of good family bonding time.

Women, power, sex... really, what's needed is a loving father who'll coddle and take care of Binghe when no one else can!

So, Shen Yuan guesses he shouldn't be surprised when he wakes up in the body of Tianlang-jun.

[bluerasbunny]

i did say i'd explain today

so. this started as a joke and spiraled into an actual AU. so here's spamsun NEO, ft. moon playing a simple numbers game

i will post more of this. i can draw anything and im using it for evil

[kaurwreck]

y'all have eventually got to realize that kunikida's temper and attentiveness to his schedule aren't callousness, they're coping mechanisms. right. y'all have to eventually figure out that much over seasons + tens of chapters of him being so tender it would snap him in two if not for the order he's constructed around himself. y'all will inevitably pick up on that with how he approaches dazai and kyouka, especially, right? surely.

[rin-solo]

Ages ago, I promised a sequel to my Ruthlessness sketches with my new Poseidon design, and well... See, I had a very specific vision for this, my beloved 🫶 favorite song in the whole entire musical. And I guess I was finally brave en- I mean, found the time to bring it to life. Enjoy 🙈🌊🔱

@glisten-inthedark look at what I've done now

[chococookiez]

made this for tiktok but maybe y'all will like it too idk

[sourtomatola]

Solar was afraid that after he was falsely arrested and imprisoned for a month, his poor little ornamental pumpkin plant would die without him. To his shock, it instead gained sentience.

I was trying to think of a metaphor for how it must have felt for solar, making something that was basically alive but not sentient, only for it to gin sentience on its own...anyways this is what came to mind. Also instead of dying he was falsely accused and arrested

Part2

[cosmicredcadet]

Some of you will see a character that is actively repulsed by romance/sex and heavily non-partner coded (sometimes they even actively just say that they do not want a relationship!) and y'all will still respond with "But aros/aces can still date and have sex!!" like okay bud it'd be so much easier for you to say you don't respect repulsed and non-partnering aros and aces. stop beating around the bush trying to pretend to be oh so supportive when you obviously feel uncomfortable about our existence even in fiction.

[fabuloustrash05]

"How old of a TMNT 2012 fan are you?"

I was there when the cowaboomer fans were upset and complaining about the number of toes the 2012 Turtles had.

[bucket-puns]

Old limbus women but one of them is my OC LMAOOOO

[rembrandts-spraypaint]

A few of my favorite Warriors production stills! I have a billion more but these are just from the ones I have on my laptop. I love seeing the cast/crew together and seeing them mess around or taking some cool in-character photos, this entire cast has my heart [especially Marcelino] <3

[shellem15]

@nickmarini's response to my asks has suddenly and inexplicably broken me out of my writer's block, so here's a snippet of a fic inspired by it. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it lol.

...

He glances towards his brother—who is not there. A look behind him reveals the coward has already fled. Typical.

Pelor looks back towards the Wildmother and raises his hands up in placation. “Sister—”

“Brother. For the sake of our continued sibling-hood—Run.”

Pelor runs.

The screeching howls of wild things follow them as they make their escape. Twisting vines and gnarled roots reach out to trip them as they dash through the dense thicket.

“I see our sister is as cheery as ever!” Asmodeus calls out from ahead. “Did I touch a nerve?”

“That was her anniversary gift from Erathis, you ass!”

“Oh really!? Well, forgive me for not keeping up! I haven’t exactly been invited to any family reunions lately!”

Pelor’s response is cut short by a roar in his ear. He dives out of the way a moment before the largest tiger he’s ever seen rips out his throat. He lands in a nearby thorn-bush, spikes digging into his skin.

His sister can be really mean, sometimes.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t get a moment to breathe. A sharp tug pulls at him, and he knows that Asmodeus has reached the end of their tether.  He moves to get up but before he can do so, the tiger pounces. Dagger-like claws tear at his flesh, and the iron stench of blood fills the air.

“Aargh!” Pelor struggles to push the cat off him. It is hundreds of pounds of pure muscle but even in this form, He is the Sun. BOOM. Light explodes out from him, and the beast is thrown back into a tree trunk, landing with a wet thud and a crack of splintering wood.

He pushes himself up, and startles as sudden heat whooshes over his shoulder and rockets down on the tiger, igniting both it and the tree in a blaze of fire.

Pelor looks back at the fiend-that-is-his-brother standing a few paces behind him.

“What?” Asmodeus accuses. “It moved. I’m helping.”

Pelor shakes his head as he brushes past him. “I didn’t say anything.”

Asmodeus bristles, about to object, when another howl sounds from deeper into the jungle and snaps them out of their squabble.

They look at each other.

Pelor smirks, “Go on, help some more.”

Asmodeus rolls his eyes, “I hate you.” He scoffs, but his lips are twitching. Liar.

Pelor’s smirk widens into a grin, and it lights up the forest around them.

The howl sounds again, closer this time, and they break out into a run. They weave though snares of vines and dart out of the jaws of carnivorous plants. Venomous snakes bite at their ankles and birds swoop down at them with sharp beaks and long talons.

At one point, an eagle dive-bombs them and tries to claw out their eyes. Asmodeus throws fire at it and the bird explodes into a squawking ball of flaming plumage.

Pelor blinks. Fire. Squawking. Burnt feathers. “Looks like that phoenix of yours!”

Asmodeus cackles at that comment.

Suddenly, the tree-line breaks. They can see the sky, the clouds, the sunlight shining down upon them. The wide-open air greets them, and they skid to a stop before the precipice of a great cliff.

…

That's it for now! Hope ya'll enjoy reading. I have so much brain rot about these two its not okay.

[whitewoodwriter]

Commissions are OPEN!

Ever had something in your head that you just couldn't get on paper? Have an idea you want turned into a scene of a play, or a conversation between characters? Well, good news, because... Whitewood Writing is OPEN for Commissions!

I specialize in Narrative Storytelling, but I have years of experience in Technical, Poetry, and Professional writing as well. From Haikus to Handbooks, if it's literature, I've probably written it!

Packages start at .12/w, and include two drafts and a flexible turn-around time (dependent on the project). Additional drafts, faster turn arounds, and more can be made available for an additional fee.

You can get a taste for my writing and check out my full portfolio here:

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[suosgirl]

lil teaser for my next fic coming out ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧