#Wow I sure love it when I fucking hate myself and all the other feelings can do if make sure I don't hurt myself

[waywardsalt]

was going through my blog trying to track down an old post i made talking abt my feelings on jolene and it was. much longer than i remembered it being. and haha yeah i still agree with it. i need to fucking. sort out my feelings on that character and that subplot

[cupcakesmoothie]

The girls (the emotions in my brain) are fightinggg

[starlightazriel]

bee 11

desc: modern bestfriends > lovers (femreader) (tattoo artist az)

warnings: 18+, drug/alcohol addiction/recovery, reader overthinking/insecure/depressed, jealousy, archeron sisters have entered the chat, angst, fluff, co-dependence(and all the trauma that comes with it),

wc: 4.2k

a/n: wow i'm so sorry this took so long as some of you know i been going through some things anyyyway we've come so far since the beginning myyy goodness, as much as I love sober az I already miss the az who was doing a line before a tattoo, but alas after all the drama last time I hope this makes up for it <3 kisses xoxox

other parts on my az masterlist

eleven

Sixty days.

Sixty days of loneliness.

Sixty days of an empty house.

Sixty days of overthinking.

Sixty days of gut wrenching anxiety.

Sixty days of no contact.

Sixty days of not hearing his voice.

It had been my idea, the whole no contact, and now, it felt like it had been the worst fucking idea in the world. Facing him now seemed impossible. Would he look different? Would he be different?

Fucking idiot. Do you know how much can change in sixty days? Sober Ariel won't even want you.

It had been maybe a week in when the seed of doubt had blossomed in my gut. The regret for the dumb idea that space was the best thing for our relationships, time to figure ourselves out so we could add to each others lives— instead of depending on each other. Him, needing me, me needing to be needed.

It was such a fine line between give and take and I had offered every last piece of myself to him without a hesitation. With him gone, with him healing, getting better... What would he need me for? What was I supposed to do with myself? School was hardly distracting, and finals coming up should have helped but only made it worse.

Rhys and Cass had visited him, a few times, they had also gone on another Vegas trip, without him obviously, apartment hunting. That did nothing to soothe my gut either, that was real. It was happening in mere months they were moving to Vegas. Neither did the way they all stopped talking about him when I was around, did he tell them something? Did he tell them he was going to break it off with me for good when he got home? Or did my friends really think I was that fragile? That I couldn't even handle hearing about him?

'I would let Rhys sue me for breaking contract before I would leave this city without you.' his previous words echoed in my mind, I had been so sure he meant it when he'd said that to me, so sure that I would never be alone again.

And of course I wanted him to get clean, but somehow, everything felt different now. I wasn't so sure of anything anymore. Would he still feel the same way?

I hadn't even looked into transferring schools. He had told me to, before he left... But doing that made everything more real, and what if he changed his mind when he saw me again?

He wouldn't be in a drug clouded haze anymore. He wouldn't need me anymore, not the way that I needed him.

And I wouldn't even get any alone time with him, not immediately. Rhys was throwing a little get together for him, he was so proud, they were all so proud of him.

I hated that I wasnt as proud as everyone else when I should be the most proud, I hated that I was afraid of the new Azriel. There would be nothing for me to fix anymore.

With every waking moment that passed my anxiety and insecurity grew. Getting ready for his 'sober party' seemed surreal to me, it only created more doubts in my mind. I mean, had Azriel, my Az, really agreed to that? Even as a sober version of himself— it seemed doubtful.

-

Sixty days.

Sixty days of detoxing his mind, body, and soul.

Sixty days of boring meals.

Sixty days of therapy multiple times a week.

Sixty days of sharing his darkest side with complete strangers.

Sixty days of uncomfortable beds and scratchy sheets.

Sixty days of living in sweat pants because it was all he had packed.

Sixty days of heart stopping guilt and revelations about himself and his behavior.

Sixty days of torturous inescapable demons that seemed to be at war in his mind.

Sixty days of not hearing her voice.

The moment she had told him she didn't want to talk to him while he was in rehab, he had wanted to stay. Give up the idea entirely and quit on his own accord. He didn't though, he went. And it wasn't only for her. No, it was for him too. And he thought maybe it was valid, maybe they did need space, time away to clear their minds and have a true fresh start. He could do things right this time.

And now, with his head clear, he was happy he had gone. He felt stronger, in his mind and body. It had been a lot, a lot of facing things that had happened in his childhood that he had never dared to face before. Things he didnt have to face when drugs and alcohol had been his safety net for so many years. He realized he didnt need substances to deal with those things, his traumas didnt make him weak or vulnerable, they made him stronger.

He did recognize his problem, and he couldn't say for sure that he would never touch the bottle or snort a line ever again because that was just unrealistic. He was only human and he would do his absolute best to be a good man, for himself.

For Bee too. If she still wanted anything to do with him, the silence between them was the loudest one he'd ever felt, even miles away.

Bee.

His lover. His everything.

There was nothing that could get in the way anymore, he hadn't realized until now how much his addictions had been separating him from her. And of course he had gotten off it before but never without alcohol to help him along. He had never been so fucking deep into his addictions, had never gone that crazy. What he had done was completely unacceptable and now he could only hope for the best when he saw her. A party thrown by Rhys and his girlfriend hadn't been his ideal meeting place... But it had been completely sprung on him. Him being in rehab wasnt a secret, but that didn't mean he wanted to advertise it. Rhys had promised it was a very small get together, just something to show their support. 'No pictures.' Azriel had been sure to clear that up with him. The party was supposed to be a surprise, luckily for Az, Rhys knew him better than that.

-

Rhys and his new girlfriend had out done themselves along with the help of Mor who had told me this morning when she arrived in town that she wouldn't have missed this for the world. 'I mean, Azriel sober? I have to see it for myself and support,' she had said over coffees earlier, I had gotten quiet, I knew I could have talked to her about how I was feeling. But it felt wrong, it was embarrassing to say the least. I didnt think she would understand, either.

Rhys' place was decked out, balloons everywhere, charcuterie and little desserts lined both of the large tables, there was a mocktail station and a coffee station where she had also decorated Rhys' coffee pot, another table had a 'fill your own cone' bud bar that included a big jar full of Azriels favorite cigarettes as well. Her theme was 'Sober & Slaying' and there were banners and balloons to match. My heart had swelled the moment I had entered the apartment and part of me felt a little guilty for not getting here earlier. I hadn't been doing much of anything though, I wasn't eating right, I wasn't sleeping right, my thoughts and fears and insecurities had been practically eating me alive. They hadn't even asked me to help with set up, simply to show up on time, I at least had arrived twenty minutes early.

"Oh good! You're here, will you help me with this last mocktail?" Feyre beams after she had pulled me into a quick hug. She was very sweet although a bit reserved at first she had warmed up to me quickly. She was setting up some last minute decorations, I was early, of course, my anxious gut hadn't allowed me to sit at home a moment longer.

Part of me was hoping this new relationship would entice Rhys to stay a little bit longer, but they were already talking about going long distance until Feyre was ready to take the leap and move to Vegas. Seemed awfully soon to even be talking about it to me, but I wasn't one to judge, they did seem madly in love nearly instantly, and Rhys was, different. Nicer even.

"Yeah of course," I flashed her a grin and tasted the mocktail she was working on before I added some more of the homemade blueberry simple syrup she had made. "So good," I hummed in approval once I had tasted it again.

"So like, will this be the first time you and Az speak?" Mor tries to make it sound as casual as possible, my eyes focus intently as I transferred the mocktail to the aesthetically pleasing drink dispensers Feyre had put out.

"Um yeah, I haven't seen him or spoke to him since the night before he left," I shrugged, my eyes not lifting once. It had been quite the emotional night, it felt like a lifetime ago.

"I visited him once, he looks really good," she responded and I couldn't stop the jealous pang that hit my gut. Space. We had decided space was the right thing for us, a reset to our relationship after everything we had been through. My dumb idea, but he had agreed. I only smiled in response, and was glad when Cassian arrived with a cake in hand, his loud greeting drew all the attention away from me. Bless him. I found a corner to sit in, a quiet corner with my phone and one of the mocktails Feyre had made. A few more arrived, Feyres sisters, which I had only met a handful of times. Why were they here? Az didn't know them, did he? The only way that was possible would be if Rhys had brought them for one of his visits— the mocktail felt sour in my stomach and I felt more than relieved when Kat finally arrived and joined me in my corner.

"Hi love, how you holding up?" Kat had been very supportive through this entire rehab thing, and was making my loneliness nearly bearable.

"I'm fine, really, just coping with all of— all of the emotions of all the sudden change I guess," I shrug easily, Kat was the only one I had really felt comfortable to tell my true feelings to. She was the only one I knew that wouldn't judge. She nodded in understanding, making herself comfortable in her seat.

"That's valid, it's a lot to take in girl," She begins and I'm relieved when she can't continue because Cassian is all but shouting a second later.

"He's coming up he texted me a few minutes ago," Cassians voice drowns out the chatter around the room and I feel my insides go to liquid, my throat feeling tight and constricted.

My heart stopped when I finally laid my eyes on him. Impossibly sexier. His face was more full, color in his cheeks, a sparkle in his eye I hadn't seen since we were kids, he stood straighter, making him look impossibly taller, shoulders spread, oozing with a confidence I hadn't seen in a long time. My gut twisted, my heart picking up, a steady hammer against my chest. I held my breath when our eyes met, his face fell as he scanned me from across the room and I wanted nothing more than to drop into the hole in the floor. It wasn't exactly the reaction I'd been hoping for. I knew I looked awful— but shit, we hadn't seen each other in two months.

"Azriel, it's nice to see you again," Elain is the first person in front of him she's loud enough to hear across the room, her sing song voice carrying, and I try to ignore it but my eyes are glued to his, and he has to tear his away from mine.

"So what, Rhys took Feyre and her random sisters to see Az in rehab?" I drop my voice, forcing myself to look away, to tune out their conversation to the best of my abilities. Kat bit her lip, a notable guilty blush creeping across her cheeks.

"I um.. I was there too," she admits, twirling her hair around her finger, I squint slightly. She could have at least told me that. "It was a last minute thing," she explained quickly, my expression probably throwing her off. I was jealous, I couldn't deny that— I had no one to blame but myself. If I'd never been so set on having space away from eachother... My blood heated, she was gorgeous, just the type that Azriel would go for to. "They just happened to be there and we made a group trip of it— and yeah, I didn't think you'd want to know, considering..." she trailed off and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Yeah, I don't mind at all," I would have rather jumped off of the balcony than have this conversation, I shouldn't have asked. The FOMO was certainly real and I wondered if that's why they were constantly all whispers when talking about Azriel, to spare me of that feeling.

"Youre not imagining her googly eyes though," she scoffs as she glances back over at them and then to me mocking a gag, I smirked a little bit glancing back at them once more and then to Kat again. She was for sure laying it on thick with the sweet tone and all of the unnecessary blinks. I didnt remember that about the first few times I met her.

"I mean I can't even blame her— he looks..." I trailed off searching for the right word, he looked amazing, delicious, sexier than he'd ever had before. He was practically glowing with whatever newfound confidence he'd gained from facing his many demons.

"I know that's your man but he looks hot," she finishes for me and we giggle together, I ignored the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach that maybe he wasnt my man anymore.

"That he does," I sigh, twirling my straw around in my cup, suddenly I regretted not sneaking a few nips into my purse. I wouldn't get drunk at a sober party, I wouldn't, but something to take the edge off would be nice, and a joint didn't seem like the right option.

I effectively avoided Azriel for at least an hour, I hadn't been keeping track of time but it felt like it had been at least that long. I wasnt ready for a conversation, not when one look at him made my heart stop.

My stomach was growling, and I needed a snack. I was carefully piling charcuterie onto my plate when I jumped and nearly dropped the whole thing.

"Youre avoiding me, and youre doing a good job for how small the space is," his voice is the same one I remember, low and gravelly and sexy.

"Im not," I insist, just hoping he hadn't noticed the way I visibly jumped at the sound of his voice.

"I think I know when my girlfriend is avoiding me," he left a heavy emphasis on the word, looking at me expectantly as if he was daring me to challenge his claim on our relationship status. Relief washed over me, a tension that I hadn't been able to ease since the last time I saw him.

"Its just— Its been a lot I don't know, and having this conversation here... Seems like a lot too," I took a step back from the table but turned around to face him, I could feel more than one pair of eyes watching us, it only made me more uncomfortable.

"Are you eating?" its a direct question, soft but firm, his eyes scanning over every inch of me. My stomach flips, my cheeks reddening.

"Yes," I lift the small plate of cheese, crackers, and fruit as if that proved anything.

"Hm," he doesn't seem satisfied with my answer, his eyes not leaving me for a second.

"You look good Az, you look different," I chewed the inside of my lip, hoping my anxiousness didnt bleed into my words.

"Im still me baby im just better," that same confident smirk spreads across his lips, I knew it well but somehow- there was a different spark behind it. Something all those drugs had dimmed. A light I hadn't seen in a while. "For example, Im not gonna nod off on the couch anymore because Ive had a handle to myself for two days straight and Im hours off a two week coke bender," he said it so casually and leave it to Azriel to make a joke out of it. "From now on," his voice drops as if he knew they were all listening, I felt Elain's curious eyes on us and I knew she was trying to catch every word. Sorry, hes mine. "I won't fall asleep without making sure you are fed, fucked, and tucked into bed."

I blush, looking away from his stare, something in my gut eases but the anxiety is still settled there.

"And Im sorry, for each and every time I failed you. Im clear headed now and—" he cuts himself off, and maybe it was the look on my face that stopped him. "Would you feel better if we went outside?" he nods to the balcony, I quickly nod, desperate to be alone with him and not on display like some soap that they were all watching.

"Please, its. little stuffy in here," my words are a little rushed, and they were true, I felt like I could barely breathe anymore. And I was making a complete idiot out of myself when Azriel hadn't seen me in two months. I feel his hand on my back and he guides me out onto Rhys balcony, I don't look back again, I lean up against the balcony, resting my elbow on the railing and sucking in a deep breath of fresh air before popping one of the pieces of cheese into my mouth.

Azriel joins me after he had shut the door behind us, leaning up against the balcony next to me and he lit up a joint he had gotten off of the bud bar.

"Did you tell your psychiatrist you were going to smoke?" I ask casually, trying to change the subject into something else. Anything else but our relationship, I shouldn't be worried, he had already said I was still his girlfriend.

"Yes," he shrugged, taking another drag from it, I could feel his eyes on me as I set my plate down on the nearby table. I had barely touched it.

"And what did they say?" I ask, quirking a brow as I take it from him, it was annoying that I was more at ease now, normal territory, I didnt like the way sober Az could see right through me, I had thought he was able to before, and now?

He shrugged again, watching me. "Why are you trying to avoid talking about us?" he reaches out, tucking my hair behind my ear so I can't hide from him, my breath catches. He took the joint back, taking one more long drag before putting it out. I shook my head, I couldn't find the right words. He grabs my wrist gently and turns me around so my back is against the railing, his body so close, the scent of his cologne slamming into my senses. "Why?" he repeats, his eyes meeting mine in the dim light, his voice is soft and careful.

"I— I don't know Az," I breathe out, my heart felt like it would pound out of my chest. "It's just I—" I look away, unable to meet his gaze when I feel the word vomit coming. "Im afraid, Azriel. I am. And I know it's fucked up because I shouldn't be. I feel sick, sick with myself that I have been more worried about whether or not you would still want me when you got back than I have about you and your actual recovery. Ive been worried about you being different and not needing me and I know Im so fucked up for that there's something wrong with me and Im sorry—"

"Hey, hey, stop, breathe for a second," he interrupts me, a small sigh leaving his lips as he places both of his hands on my cheeks, lifting my face to look at him and he gently wipes away my shameful tears with his rough thumbs, the feeling makes my spine tingle. "Don't feel bad for anything that you feel or have felt in these past weeks," he assures me, one of his thumbs still gently rubbing against my cheek, his eyes burning into mine. "I— I created that for you, that whole thinking you need to be needed by me. I created this... Trauma bond, I know that now, I know that I made our relationship toxic. It's not your fault, I hadn't dealt with any of my shit and I basically put it on to you. Im sorry, Im sorry you felt like that at all and I wish..." he sighed softly, one of his hands fell to my waist. "I wish I had the courage to call you, because I wanted to so many times, but I didnt think you'd want to talk to me. You needed space and I had to respect that but seeing you now, seeing you haven't been taking care of yourself like you should have. I should have been there for you," he sighed, clearly frustrated with himself. "I know where I fucked up, I know what kind of damage Ive done, this only proves it," he brushed his finger over the dark circle underneath my eye. "I love you, I love you so much, maybe too much sometimes," he sighs again, I fight the urge to close my eyes and lean into his touch.

"Az I love you too," I breathe out because Im stunned into silence. Everything hes said, his accountability, his words, they felt like they were crashing into me.

"Im not going to leave you like that ever again," he promised, and took a step closer, pressing his body into mine. He felt stronger, more solid. It was almost like he had left a boy and returned a man. "You are going to be my wife some day, you are the fucking definition of ride or die Bee, I swear, for the last two months the more clear my head got I just realized one thing over and fucking over," he wasnt afraid, he had absolutely no hesitations, every single word felt like a promise, and I felt like my heart was palpitating. "I hit the fucking jack pot with you, and I fear the smartest thing that Ive ever done in my life was share my favorite candy with the girl across the street."

My cheeks are burning, tears streaming, but they aren't sad, just emotional. I don't know what else to do, my words are caught in my throat so I kissed him. I pulled him down, my fingers tugging in the hairs at the nap of his neck, our tongues tangling perfectly like they always had. He was mine, still my Az, better, better like he had said. He was right. A soft groan escaped his lips, my stomach flipped at the sound, the thought of how he would have his way with me later after so many days apart. My body melted into his at the thought, our hungry kiss only escalating. Our desperate need for each other matching perfectly, our emotions pouring into the heated kiss. I tilted my head his lips traveling down my jaw and across my neck, settling behind my ear and gently sucking. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, I moaned his name softly, my body feeling like a hot puddle.

"Hmm?" he hummed against my skin, his hand had slipped under my dress where he was rubbing soft circles on the least sensitive part of my thigh, somehow it was still driving me mad.

"We, we should go in now... They are going to be wondering whats taking us so long," I breathed out, I couldn't even see past Azriel into the house, I was sure they could see us though, or at least see Azriel pinning me against the railing.

"They should have known better than to throw me a party when I haven't seen my baby in sixty whole days, and they definitely should have known better than to let you wear this dress," he tugs lightly at the fabric. "They should have known Id need alone time with you," his eyes glimmered with mischief. "I have a lot of making up to do," he added, tracing his scarred finger over my jawline.

"I hated this idea more than you Im sure," I admitted guiltily, biting down on my lip. "But they worked really hard Az," I tried to peek around him to see inside again, he only shifted to block my view.

"Fine, but five more minutes," he smirked, tilting my chin up again.

"Five more minutes," I whispered breathlessly before he crashed his lips onto mine again, and I felt all of my anxiety melt away, as if he was pulling it from me.

And I felt safe.

Home.

Safe.

-

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[captainmalewriter]

College Janitor

Alright, I'll be the first to admit that working as a janitor fucking sucks. Nobody has ever said "Wow! I wanna clean up other people's shit for a living!" and for good reason too. It's disgusting and more often than not it's completely thankless job. This shit fucking sucks, pun not intended.

So why did the hell did I willing decide to become a janitor when I hate it so much? Well, let me tell you. Even though there's a lot of cons to the job, there is one pro that singlehandedly makes it all worth it. I didn't just become a janitor at some random place, no, I became one at a college residence hall. This place is just teeming with young, horny bodies everywhere! And since college students are always coming and going every year, my catalog of bodies just keeps on growing! This place is perfect for a body hopper like me, especially since nobody ever suspects the nameless janitor...

Take my most recent body for example. This clueless freshman had no idea he would get possessed when he first moved into the dorms!

I just love the way a fresh body feels after I possess them! My personal favorites are all the skinny guys with no meat or hair on their bones. It's always so much fun seeing my beer belly of a gut squeeze into them as I possess and take over their bodies for myself. They get all bloated and fat while I squeeze my spiritual form down their throats. It always take me a couple of minutes to slither down into their bodies, but the effort is always worth it. The sound of them grunting and gagging while getting filled up by my essence is always so hot!

Their bodies inflate to the max and they stumble around due to all the extra weight they just took on with my soul. Then they get all surprised when their hands start moving on their own. They don't have a clue that it's actually me controlling them from the inside! I love forcing them to moan as I start exploring my new body, slowly but surely taking over control while I rub myself down. Then, once the possession is complete and I get total control, my new vessel adjusts itself to welcome me in as its new host. My new skin snaps into place like an elastic band as all the extra body weight disappears like it never existed. Their body is all mine now, and I just can't help but smile at a job well done.

I wonder how it feels to be skinny and to have a hairy, heavy bear like me possess my body. I bet it feels good to swallow up my long, curly beard as I force myself in. It must feel pretty warm to absorb a beefy, mature man like me. Like a bear hug, only on a much deeper level. Not that I would ever know, I'm the possessor, not the possessee. Just the way I like it! I just really can't believe this twink keeps shaving all this beautiful body hair! No razor is gonna touch this body while I'm in charge, let's see if he can grow a majestic beard and a pelt of chest hair like mine. I can tell this ass is already broken in. What a shame, this long dick isn't getting action. That's gonna change too, there's plenty of ass to fuck in college!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy my first month of college... Hope the new, temporary janitor knows how to get cum off the shower tiles!

[iriswestallenn]

This season was a mess

Season 1: My brother took his life and has left me his restaurant. Do I deserve this? Do I take this on? How do I navigate this grief?

Season 2: We found a shit ton of money plus uncle Jimmy is lending us more. We decide to tear down the beef and build The Bear. There is a deadline, we need to get it together, and we need to make this deadline.

Season 3: ...???? The restaurant is up and running. They are digging a bigger hole for themselves. Jimmy is broke now? Carmy is hung up on Claire. Everyone keeps bringing up Claire. Carmy and Syd have zero communication. They barely speak. Not even as friends- keep that. AS BUSINESS PARTNERS. Not once does Carmy ask why Syd hasn't signed the fucking contract that HE brought up to her. This season started off strong but wow wtf happened.

I wanna focus on two examples that I think illustrate how off this season was: I loved the standalone episodes. I cried during the Nat and Donna one. They were wonderful episodes that did not tie back into the plot because there was none. Season 2 we have a Marcus standalone right? Why did that one work whereas I feel these two didn't? (Again, I really enjoyed these episodes. This is about nothing flowing well) Because Marcus was sent to Copenhagen to become a better pastry chef. He was a cook in a sandwich place who did desserts on the side! He traveled to learn from Luca so The Bear could have a pastry chef. Woo! It all ties in.

Next, a flashback in S2 that worked. The Christmas episode. We meet their mom, Carmy brings up the restaurant idea to Mikey. We see Mikey's state of mind, we get background on Sugar's nickname/how she got it. We see how the family treats Carmy. We get a bunch of them asking Carmy if he's gonna ask Claire out. We get Richie and Tiff still together in contrast to present day Richie dealing with his ex getting a fiancé. Almost every single thing we got in this flashback related back to present day concerns. We touched so many corners. Mikey, Donna, Richie, Sugar. In ONE flashback.

Whereas, Tina's (bless her she's a doll) did nothing for the present day story. We see Tina struggle, we never get to hear the exact reason why. Does she hate this new environment? Does she wish she was just making sandwiches with Ebra? Is Carmy getting on her nerves? Sure, that could be a given but they never let her say it. We get her flashback that focuses on finding a new job, and the convo she has with Mikey. The convo is mostly about dreams, wants. I saw someone say that Tina's episode was an ode to everyone just trying to try. Not looking for a title, not competing, just trying. I agree and I love that. Why did it not relate to whatever she's going through in present day?

The rebuttal for my critiques could be, not everything has to tie in. Some things can be standalone. That's true but in my opinion... it shouldn't be done for a 40 min 10 episode show. Esp not one that tied in the flashbacks and standalone episodes in previous seasons. Why did we suddenly stop doing that this season?

This season felt aimless. Let's talk about Claire lmao when Tiff brought up Claire on that bench with Richie, I went huh??? TIFF is bringing up Claire now? WHY! I had to remind myself that she is literally a family friend they've all known for yeaaars. But me? We, the audience? We don't fucking know Claire! "She's his peace." His WHAT? When??? Stop trying to convince me of this and show me in season 1 and 2 that this woman is his peace.

If you decide to drag this Claire shit out for the entire season, oh bby, you're gonna need the audience to feel the same anguish Carmy is feeling. We should be thinking, fuck, Fak is right she is his peace because remember when she pulled him out of x y z? But at the same time they're not good for each other right now because of x y z. We have so little to go off of with these two and they made Carmy hung up on her the whole season lmaoo please.

I'll end with that, actually. You mean to tell me that the entire restaurant let Carmy act like that for months and NO ONE- not even broke ass Jimmy, told him, you need to stop. It took "Computer" coming in to get them just a little bit together? And even then? Still switching the menu, still not listening to Syd, still butting heads with Richie? You shitting me? And does Carmy know he's a fucking uncle now? DOES HE CARE? Oh fuck me this season was ass.

[whoiwanttoday]

Hey guys, it is @wildflagsure birthday today and last night she demanded I make a "really good" post for her for her birthday. She can't help it, she's from Greece but lives in the UK and what I have heard is immigrants there are always coming in and demanding things, it's why as a country they decided to set their economy on fire, because if you make your little island completely unlivable then no one will want to move there. Not that tactic I would have taken but then I try not be a hateful bigot, so who am I to talk? Anyway, besides blaming @wildflagsure for all of England's problems (and like… where was she when they lost the Empire? She can't account for her whereabouts) I do want to celebrate her birthday. By talking about myself. I mean, it is my blog, I tagged her twice, I am not sure how much more giving a person can be. I'll drive literally tens of people to her dead blog. Anyway, my favorite thought about Andi, which I will call her from here out because first I am tired of tagging and second I think it looks cooler with the E not on it but also it's short for Antigone and I can change a T to a D for a friend but I'll be dead and buried before I leave off the apostrophe if you insist on shortening Antigone to Anti'e. Anyway, my favorite thought is when she was doing a small radio show live (and doing it wrong, rather than use the service that paid for the songs rights they just played shit off of spotify because literally no one cared) I used to listen every week cause it was fun to support her but also she likes good music. There was a listener request form and I used to submit requests. I did this for a few reasons. One, I learned on tumblr every single person in the world wants more asks. It is exciting and makes them feel special. Also, by sending multiple requests or messages a show it meant they would seem very popular to other listeners and you know, fake it till you make it, that way everyone else would go, "Wow, these guys must be more famous than I realized. I should tell my friends to listen and also send in requests". And then, obviously, I like to control women and tell them what to do, so it was a real rush to send in a song title and then make her do it. Anyway, there was a time when the person she did it with referred to me as, "Our fan". And that got a snap back of, "Actually, is MY friend". It was very defensive and I appreciated that in part it came from the fact that her cohost was trying to diminish me in a way that person liked to do and Andi was willing to stand up and protect me even though honestly, I didn't care. She did, that mattered. I mean, there was a lot going on there because her cohost was one of those lowkey monsters you meet in your late teens and early 20's who you find compelling because you are too young to know better but also because you are insecure and the fact that they have absolutely no moral center is appealing because it sure must be nice to not be insecure and upset and worried about things all the time. Andi eventually moved on, don't worry. Actually, it's really cool to see that she has matured into just a totally cool as fuck lesbian bad ass. I mean, she was always those things but now she has the confidence and a really cool life that she always was going to have but I bet she was unaware of. Like, she has her own place, she has a hot girlfriend, she eats cool meals, and she can get you any drugs you want. It's pretty cool.

Anyway, today I am posting Georgia Ellenwood because in my experience Andi loves Olympic Athletes. She always goes on that she's glad someone is honoring Zeus properly. Now, sadly, Georgia Ellenwood is not going to the Olympics this year because she is still recovering from an injury. That kind of thing is always sad, athletes only have so many chances but I think she has a good future ahead of her even outside of sports because she is charming and friendly and well… looks like she does. It's not hard to imagine her being successful doing other things. And even if she felt like a good pick today because even if she isn't going to the Olympics I am willing to bet @wildflagsure would be willing to burn down a second island nation to sleep with her. Today I want to fuck Georgia Ellenwood.

[billerak]

Bumble that Bee or something idk

I recently finished RWBY (catching up after years leaving it aside) and I have thoughts and feelings and, as I am me, a lot of those are about the canonical WLW couple (sans the secondary wives in V6). So I put my thoughts into a rant. It's not as negative as the word 'rant' would have you believe but I don't wanna call it an essay or whatever. It's still pretty negative tho, so be warned. Anyways on with it:

RWBY is a mess.

Sometimes, it's a wonderful mess. Others, it's a terrible one.

I could spend a few paragraphs explaining what I mean, but I think anyone who watches RWBY with a critical eye knows what I'm getting at. Love RWBY, hate RWBY, just don't try to tell me it's good.

So, once that's established, let's get to the meat of this rant: Bumblebee.

Or should I say Fumblebee? Eh? EH?

Alright you can stop reading, have a good day.

Let me start by making a sharing something about myself: I'm Agender and Bi/Pan. I make a living out of writing yuri/gl/wlw or however you wanna call it. I watch entire seasonal fucking anime on the off chance it may be yuri and most of the time I hate myself for it by the end because they never fucking deliver.

All of this is to say, I like the concept of Bumblebee, the problem is it was treated like shit.

In this rant or whatever the fuck I should call it, I'm just going to talk about the things this ship makes me feel. As established I make a living out of writing romances like the one this show tried to depict—and in case you're wondering, I have written slowburns so slow the first romantic interactions between characters didn't happen until 300k words into a fic. I did it twice, fyi—so I believe I have fair grounds to judge this.

So let's tackle this from the beginning. Was it planned from the start?

No, I don't take the writers word for it. It's painfully apparent it's not the case. I'm fairly certain BlackSun was gonna be a thing until they decided to write him out of the story in V6. Or perhaps they decided on Bumblebee and so they wrote him out of the story. Either way, everything prior to V6 I call into question.

Sure, Blake and Yang have their moments. But it's important to point out they're not romantically coded. RWBY isn't subtle about romance, and it starts pulling the same sort of obvious romantic tropes as all the het stuff going on in the show for Bumblebee going into V7. Prior to that? Nothing. Not a single blush or any explicit show of romantic attraction.

And before any disingenuous bastard tries to say something like "oh but blushes aren't always romantic" or "no you don't need blushes to show romantic attraction" allow me to say you are fucking wrong. Blushing is the universal language for embarrassment or love related things. And RWBY uses this shit all the time. INCLUDING Bumblebee past V7.

So yeah, while the writers probably did draw from previous material—and I think the VA's shipped them since the start?—I do not believe this ship was planned from the beginning.

But that's ok! I don't think it's a huge issue, really. Sure I'd have liked to see actual development but I don't need it to work retroactively if it makes sense from the moment they decide to go for it. So, 3 volumes and a half of development. Lots of time to put in the work, add the details, and-

Oh, no. Wait. They spend most of V8 separated. Hmm. K' so, 2 volumes and a half-

Wait. Oh. Oh they… they really have that little screentime together in V6, huh. Wow. Just. Huh.

Ok, the Adam fight is good. It's a strong setup! After fighting and making up for what Blake did after the Fall of Beacon, they finally come together to beat the demon that drew them apart in the first place. They hold each other close after beating him and it's good and I'm gonna say this is when they both actually fall for each other. We can argue about budding feelings or whatever, but I mean this is the moment they become aware of it one way or another.

So Volume 7 has them kinda being together? Honestly, they act like a new couple. Which is weird in retrospect. I think revealing they'd started dating after V6 would have made more sense than, uh... pretending this was a slowburn? Through V7 they stick to each other and fight in perfect synch and blush and all of that romantic stuff. It feels like… well, like they're kind of already an item but the show has other shit to worry about atm.

Then v8 is amazing really. Split the characters over an honestly kind of nonsensical ideological split, keep them apart most of the season, make Yang to be kiiind of an asshole in that one conversation with Kyle (<- my name for the post-v7 Generic McGenericus haircut Jaune. Yes this unironical, the friend I ranted to about this while watching the show can confirm).

To add insult to injury, the split doesn't even accomplish anything for the ship. The only two characters that get development out of being apart are Ren and Nora. These characters were CLEARLY in love last season why are they not having appropriate amounts of angst over this? Like, at this point we're not arguing whether they were planning on making Bumblebee canon or not, the point is asking why it feels like they weren't trying.

And then, Volume 9. For some context, I like V9. I think I'm in a minority, at least in the places I frequent about this stuff. Always comes with the caveat of 'it's still RWBY', of course, but I appreciate it. After the initial whiplash, I think making a fairy-tale season for a show that was born out of the concept of "what if Red Riding Hood had a sick scythe and used it to mow down hundreds of bad wolves" is actually a really fucking good idea.

That being said, the way they do Bumblebee is really strange.

They're basically back to their V7 selves. It feels like they're either already dating or on the verge of dating. I need to stress just how comfortable they seem to be around each other with the sole exception of that one time Blake didn't grab Yang's hand, but it didn't feel particularly awkward.

Then BOOM mind storm thing and while Ruby, Weiss and Jaune talk about like, actual issues, Jaune implies Blake and Yang had 'something more important to deal with'. And that something is RWBY's version of the room you can't leave unless you have sex.

Sans the sex I guess.

In the void, I think the scene(s?) is good. It's nice, the music is evocative, it's well framed and paced. In another story, it would really have been a perfect climax for a budding relationship.

The problem is this is not another story. These two have NOT seemed like two people awkwardly in love too scared to tell it to each other. In fact, it kinda felt like the exact opposite. If they kissed at the end of any episode for any reason, at this point, it would've felt correct. A simple quiet stare while sitting close and them just finally leaning in to take that final step would've been just as good if not better.

The bridge thing? It's the climax to an arc that didn't happen. Relationships don't need to be slowburns for me to like them, but if you're gonna pretend you were making a slowburn, at least do it right. Why did they need the bridge thing to finally get together? Come on! There was plenty of opportunity during V9 prior to this episode to at least make a show of them being awkward. Make it clear they were finally on the verge but were holding back on the final step. Make it actually cause some conflict, preferably between them as their fear grows into uncertainty and doubts.

Then the bridge would've felt cathartic. Force them to resolve said conflict, and the only way to do it is through admitting their feelings. Sure, it would've still been few episodes, but fuck man I'm sure they could've scraped a few minutes here and there to make it somewhat competent.

I like Bumblebee as a concept. I think the avid fans of this ship look at the concept, not at what the show did, and say "this is canon" and run with it. I don't blame anyone who is a big fan of this ship but… I just can't like it in its current state. I'm sure there's fanfics that fix it, I may give some a read.

Hell, just compare Bumblebee's development to Renora. Those guys have been kind of obviously in love from second one and Nora's entire character being focused on Ren was made into an actual plot point by the end.

Anyways that's about it for bumblebee. Here's some extra thoughts on shipping in RWBY in general.

If we look at the earlier seasons, I honestly think you'd have a stronger argument to make for White Rose being a couple. If we look at the later seasons, Nuts n' Dolts has a stronger impact. I already mentioned it but Blake/Sun had obviously a thing going on that didn't pan out. I hope chameleon girl whose name I don't remember gets a gf at some point tho.

I pray to fucking god they're not building up fucking Oscar and Ruby cuz they had a few awkward scenes here and there and they make me feel wrong in all sorts of ways.

Given how little interaction Ruby and Weiss have had despite how much time they've supposedly spent together, I think the writers are making an active effort to discourage White Rose. I'm not gonna get into the author's self insert being a love interest for Weiss at one point but let's just say the writers seem invested in making extra-sure Weiss stays het. I've made my peace with that. And Penny is fucking dead again so Nuts n' Dolts is a no go (canonically I mean I may read a fanfic or two about them they're very cute).

If they're gonna give Ruby a relationship by the end (which I kinda hope they don't at this point), I think it should be Kyle. They've had nice moments together and seriously shipping Oscar with Ruby just feels fucking weird. Like I assume Ozma's gonna be fucking gone from Oscar's body by the end of this story but even then idk that guy had a centuries old man is his head, it's fucked up.

Anyways that's enough. Why did you read to the end? Thanks for reading anyways.

[reashot]

Why do people keep telling us that we're Dating?

Jaune & Ruby enjoying their daily cuddling session together.

Jaune: Stop it Ruby! It tickles...

Ruby: No! It's pay back for last time. *giggle*

Jaune: How is it my fault that you're sensitive to my touch?

Ruby: Well I can't help it if being touched by you feel so good. So I'm kissing your neck until you feel good too yourself.

Jaune: Then you won't mind if I do the same myself, right? *devour Ruby's neck*

Ruby: No!!! Stop it! Jaune please... *moan* I-I can't control my... *moan* No! Don't some-something... *moan* I can feel something is about to com....

Ren: *clears throat*

Ruby: *panting* H-hey Ren what's up?

Ren: I see you two are busy with each other as usual... I'll cut to the chase. Ruby, are you dating Jaune?

Ruby:

Jaune: I already told you Ren, there's nothing going on between Ruby and me. And we are definitely not dating.

Ren: *trying to hold back his rage* I saw you in the shower room together....

Ruby: Well yeah, duh! Me and Jaune are shower buddies. We're doing our part to save the environment. What, do you hate the planet or something?

Ren: *vein popping* And I heard you making sounds that no one that's not in a relationship should be making together.

Ruby: That's just the sound I make when Jaune lathered my entire body up with soap. It's natural reaction to his touch, I can't help it.

Ren: *about to lose his fucking mind* Listen here you du......

Jaune: Look Ren, I know that us being so close would make you think that. But I assure you that there's nothing going on between us we're just two good friend... And besides there's no way Ruby would like me. She's a lesbian. And she agreed to go on a date with Weiss.

Ruby: Uhm... Actually Jaune, I think I also like boy too.

Jaune: Wait, really. Are you sure?

Ruby: Yeah. It's just I haven't found the right boy to fall in love with.

Jaune: Wow. I can't believe that Ruby Rose plays for both team. *lovingly hugs her*

Ruby: Ugh! I'm not playing for both team, Jaune. If I'm in a relationship I'm only going to play for one side.

Jaune: I knew that Rubes. But if thing with Weiss doesn't work out and you finally found the right boy to fall in love with you need to introduce me to him.

Ruby: Of course Jaune... You're in my top 5 best friend after all. Right below all the rest of my teammates and Zwei.

Jaune: So I'm number five then? That's ok. At least I'm still in the top 5.

Ruby: Don't be sad Jaune. After all you're the one I trust to take me on a practice date to Montyland🎡🎠🎢

Jaune: Of course Ruby. Montyland 🎡🎠🎢 "The funnest place on earth. (TM.)" I will make sure your practice date went perfectly. Before your date with Weiss.

Ruby: Thank you for being such a good friend Jaune... Oh, and seeing you'll be my "date" for tomorrow. You'll be paying for the whole thing right?

Jaune: Of course. I've been saving just for this occasion. After all I also need the Montyland🎡🎠🎢 "date" too. So I can practice my confession for Pyhrra.

Ruby: Oh, my little blonde boy is growing up. I'm so proud of you. *rubs Jaune's head* Now take me to my room to help me pick up the clothes for our "date" Tomorrow.

Jaune: aye, aye captain! *pick Ruby up princess style*

Ren: What the fuck just happened?.....

Little did Ren knows that someone has been watching the two of them in the shadow from the very start acting all sus besides him.

Blake: So the two are finally going on a date together...

Preview of Montyland. 🎡🎠🎢 The Funnest Place on Earth(TM)

Spoiler: Ruby will have her first kiss here. Guess with who? The first one to get it right can have 1 free fic request.

[bellewintersroe]

Max Verstappen X Celeb Ex!Reader -Angst.

Part 2, no warnings, just mentions of alcohol, reader gets really drunk, breaking up and arguing, so pretty angsty. Mentions of flirting but that’s it. Daniel Ricciardo is a legit Angel. Now Max Verstappen is crowned champion of the Silverstone Grand Prix, y/n watches on with a bitter sweet feeling, remembering all those races where she’d be the first person to congratulate him. Now everything’s different. She turns to the endless flow of alcohol that night when out in a club, things get a little tense when Max also happens to arrive at the same place. Alcohol distorts tf out of her poor, heartbroken brain and an argument ensues.

“And Max Verstappen takes first place in the Silverstone GP!” Without thinking about it, my arms reached into the air as I jumped up with a joyful cheer. Max was dominating the track this season, and it was a break from reality to utterly immerse myself in the race. I knew cameras were on me when a few eyes turned my way so I settled down with a genuine smile, glancing around the area to find where Max’s car would pull up. Already I’d joined his mum and sister in the Paddock for a few- too- many drinks, it wasn’t awkward, but I didn’t know if that was just the champagne talking.

It was safe to say I’d got completely and utterly wankered. I’d liked to have thought that it wouldn’t have continued, but I ended up heading to an exclusive club after the race, unable to give in and go back to my lonely hotel room. “Wow, you really are heartbroken girl.” Anise, who I worked with with Sky watched me shot down the Tequila. I’d sobered up from a small pit stop at the hotel room, so I was making up for lost drunkness now.

“Fuck it!” I shrugged, spitting the lime back into my glass as her eyes trailed over my shoulder. I followed her gaze to see Max had just walked in with a bunch of other guys from Red Bull. My heart jumped and immediately the distraction of alcohol no longer felt effective.

“Fuck.” I repeated as she offered me a sad smile. “I’m on the next round, girl…” Hours had passed and my attempts of avoiding Max had been successful. Well, apart from the glimpses we’d share from across the packed club. Every time I’d watch for him, I’d find him doing the same to me. It hurt way more, we used to love going out together, now we were acting like people who had never seen one another before.

“Hey! Hey, y/n/n!” A voice caused me to jump from my trance that was Max Verstappen. I blinked back, looking up to Daniel Ricciardo as a smile broke on my face. “Danny, hi!” I embraced the longtime friend who squeezed me a little extra harder. “How are you, you okay?” He kept a hand on my arm seeing as I stumbled slightly.

“I’m- I’m good! I’m a little drunk, how about you?!” I yelled over the music as he smiled back to me. “I can tell, I’m great, you wanna come over and say hi to everyone?” He offered, nudging me over as I shook my head. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” “Are you sure? Max wont bite you.” He teased causing a sad little smile to form on my face. “He might do.” I teased as Daniel threw an arm over me. “I’ll look after ya’.” With that the Australian was leading me back to where Max was stood with the rest of the team.

“Look who it is!” Daniel pointed as a bunch of men cheered out, I noticed Geri was there alongside Christian Horner, and I was overwhelmed with happiness when they welcomed me first into a hug. I was scared they’d hate me and my drunk mind was sensitive, especially when Geri had told me how much she had missed me. “How are you sweetheart, we miss you?!” Christian asked, kissing me on the cheek as my eyes landed on Max. He’d blanked me completely, tapping on the bar below with a solemn expression. I wanted to say hi, but he didn’t look up once.

“I’m good, I’m good, yeah.” I blinked a few times, back to the conversation ahead of me. “Stay here with us for a bit, we missed you!” Geri insisted, repeating Christians words. I could feel my chest knot and tighten painfully the longer I stayed around Max, and I knew I wanted to cry. Not here, not here, you never cry in public don’t ruin that now.

“I miss you guys!” Instead I forced out a sad laugh, glancing back to the free space at the bar. “Do you need another drink?” I then eyed up Geri’s empty Prosecco glass. “I’ll grab another bottle.” I insisted, hurrying towards the bar, further down than where Max sat. He looked like he was forcing himself to have a good time, and it kinda irked me that I was probably ruining his celebrations. I’d never felt unwelcome with Max, not once, but now I just felt like I was invading a space that wasn’t mine. The longer I waited at the bar the more awkward I’d convinced myself to feel. I was just about to leave when a man blocked my view. “Oh, hi!” I drunkly spoke, not having a single clue who he was. “Oh hi!” He chuckled, holding out his hand. “I’m Frankie, you’re beautiful.” Oh no… “Ah, thank you.” I shyly spoke, stumbling as I attempted to lean back slightly. “Woah!” He chuckled, reaching a hand to rest on my back. “You alright?” He questioned, hand lingering as I felt myself grimace in frustration. Not the man I wanted to see or talk to right now.

His hand began trailing down to the curve of my spine over the bump of my ass, I cringed, nudging him away. “Really not interested in you or your fucking creepy hands right now.” I hissed, the turn causing him to hold up both his hands and strut away with wide eyes. As if he thought that would work. When my vision was free, I looked up to see Max now occupied. Talking to a girl. My heart dropped and stomach churned. He hand a hand on her back as she giggled besides him, nodding eagerly before his his hand slipped off again.

Oh, fuck. Now that was a massive punch in the gut. My drunk mind was erratic as I shook my head, expression clearly disgusted, the girl catching my eyes with a confused expression before I stormed away. I had the right mind to launch myself over there and yell at him for being so disrespectful. Right under my fucking nose. He couldn’t even say hi? I was furious, beyond angry, god I was so wasted I couldn’t walk in a straight line but I sure as hell wasn’t dealing with Max flirting up with another girl right under my nose. That was just a dick move. “Ay, ay!” Daniel took both my shoulders, just as I tried to pass him. He’d seen the full exchange. “Daniel, please, I need to go.” I struggled to get past him. He tilted his head down in a slight concern when he noticed the tear that slipped from my eye. “Ah, okay, let’s go.” He ushered me out, an arm slung over my shoulder as we wormed our way out to the private smoking area that was reserved for the ‘celebrities’ only. Fucking prissy if you asked me.

“I need to go home, Daniel.” I repeated, wrapping my hands over my bare arm. “I know, I know.” “I am so fucking done with him.” My voice cracked and a sob rattled through me. “Hey, no don’t cry.” He was quick to pull me in for a hug, rubbing my back quickly. “Aw, no I don’t know what to do when people cry..” Daniel slurred slightly as I sniffled, wiping under my eyes quickly.

“Sorry, but I just- I just can’t watch him in there talking with all those girls.” I too, was slurring, it only became apparent to me when we’d got into the fresh air and I somehow felt 10x drunker. “I’m so fucking angry.” I wept. “I’m gonna regret this in the morning, I’m sorry Daniel.”

“Nah it’s a dick move from him I agree, look he’s probably just jealous.” The Australian explained, hand still on my upper back in support. “Uh huh.” I nodded looking up to the night sky in order to prevent more tears falling. “Please don’t get this upset, I know it’s shit to see but he won’t have meant anything bad by it. She probably just wanted a picture with him.” I took a deep breath, using my sleeve that was luckily black to dab under my eyes. “Yeah.” I agreed. “She’s just really pretty.”

“She’s got nothing on you.” Daniel bluntly spoke causing me to laugh out sadly. “Seriously, y/n/n, it’s just a shit time, especially when you’ve both had to be in the same place.”

“I know… I think I just need to go home.” I sighed, chewing on the inside of my cheek. “Alright… Have you got your bag?” Daniels words caused me to search frantically for my bag. “Shit, it’s at the bar.” I panicked, knowing my phone and everything was in there.

“It’s okay, I’ll go get it, you wait here, alright?”

“Thanks, Daniel.”

“That’s okay.” When Daniel went inside I was left with silence. Well, that and the noise of the obnoxiously loud music. Gold digger was a playing and somehow it made me tear up knowing how often Max played this in the shower. Fuck, how was I about to cry over fucking Gold Digger by Kanye West. I was pathetic. A pathetic, drunk mess. It was kinda laughable.

Daniel returned moments later, with my bag in his hand. I let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Thank you.”

“I’ll get you back, okay? I’m tired anyway, promised Heidi I��d call her.”

“Thank you.” I nodded once again as we turned around, Daniel leading me back inside. Before we even reached the doors, they swung open again revealing nobody else other than Max. Fuck.

“What’s going on?” He stumbled out, eyes full of confusion as I looked back to him, my mouth slightly agape. “Where’s re you both going?” He blinked in utter confusion.

“Back to the hotel, mate. She’s upset.” Daniel attempted to lead me through again with a hand on my back. “Together?!” The stupid question sent a rage like no other through me.

“Oh, Max what?” I spat. “Mate.” Daniel sighed in frustration. Why on earth would he even think Danny and I would be like that. “What’s going on?!” He questioned again as I swallowed. “Why have you followed us out?” I questioned as he winced.

“You ran out, I saw Daniel with your bag? Why are you crying?” He was obviously drunk, I could tell from the bloodshot look in his eyes. “Max, leave it out-“ “No, what’s going on?!” He probed again as I sighed, looking towards Daniel. “You can go if you want, I’m just gonna…” I shrugged awkwardly as he nodded. “I’ll be inside.” He nodded back to us both, slapping Max on the shoulder in a friendly manner before heading inside, leaving me face to face with Max.

“Why are you crying?” He attempted to reach forwards and touch my arm but I pulled my arm away. He didn’t like that, he blinked as I stared back up to him. “Look, you can do whatever you want with girls, I don’t give a shit, just not right under my nose.” I gestured harshly, attempting to move past hun to go inside. “What?!” Max spluttered out a laugh, causing me to stop completely.

“You’re the one that was dancing like that right in front of me, I saw you and the man at the bar!” He exclaimed as I felt another surge of anger ripple through me. “That man was trying to feel me up, I told him to fuck off.” I spat back, my heart setting off at the confrontation. I was never good at arguments.

“And dance like what, Max?”

“Like you’re trying to get everybody’s attention!” He fired back. “Oh, shut up.”

“No, don’t tell me to shut up!” Max argued as I rolled my eyes with a frustrated sigh. I turned around and began pacing towards the exit towards the street. “Where are you going?” Max was hot on my heel as I ground my teeth.

“Away from you, I’ll let you flirt in fucking peace!” I hissed as he choked out a scoff. “Are you kidding?!”

“Do I sound like I’m fucking joking, Max?! It’s been three weeks! Three fucking weeks, I turn around and you’re already talking to other girls!” My eyes began welling up again.

“Am I not allowed? You left me!” He jabbed a hand into his chest as I felt another wave of pain hit me. “You knew how lost I was.” I broke down, wiping at my eyes harshly. “You can’t use that against me, just don’t fucking do that shit right under my nose- do you know how much it hurts?” I rambled through tears as Max looked completely taken back.

“It doesn’t mean I don’t still love you, you absolute fucking prick!” I cursed as his brows winced. “Y/n-“ he attempted to mutter but I turned away and quickly tried to wipe my tears. “Such a dick fucking move, Max. Did you want to hurt me?”

“Yes.” He muttered, just when I thought I’d asked an unanswerable question. “I wanted to get back at you for leaving me.” Max spoke calmer now, scratching at the back of his neck as I shook my head in disbelief.

“That’s fucked up.” I turned around, beginning my journey back to the hotel. “I know.” He sighed, his voice following after me. “Stop following me, Max.” I rushed past the security guards, towards where there was endless cars lined up.

“Hi, Whittlebury hotel please.” I forced a smile through my tears to the driver. He must’ve thought I was a fucking psycho. When I opened the door, Max muttered my name again. “I’m not letting you go back alone.” He put a hand on mine causing me to tense up. I was so hurt, I couldn’t even look at him.

“I literally don’t care.” I lied, climbing in the back seat to which he followed me in. “I’m being serious, you’re not going alone.”

“Max, leave me the fuck alone.” I spoke lowly so the driver wouldn’t hear me. “No.” He firmly spoke, reaching over to plug my seatbelt in. That was the first time I gave in that night, finding it harder and harder to direct angry words towards him.

Now he was sat besides me in a moving car, I couldn’t exactly kick Max Verstappen out onto the streets of Silverstone either. It was more than fucking awkward as I sniffled, texting to tell my friends I was on my way back and apologise profusely to Daniel. I couldn’t even text normally, my fingers were trembling and the alcohol blurred my vision.

“You’re not coming up to my room.” I then attempted to firm, “that’s fine.” Max spoke softly, watching towards me. I refused to look at him. I couldn’t, no matter how much my heart yearned for him. My brain was growing more and more confused as I dropped my head in my hands. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I questioned glumly, Max reached over and placed a hand on my upper back. The action being small but something that made me cry 10x harder than before.

“I’m not leaving you alone, y/n.” I could see from the corner of my eye the way his head hung low, how he watched me, his touch was so soft and gentle how I always remembered. “Im sorry for making those assumptions earlier. It was so wrong of me.” He whispered as I sighed. “And I'm truly sorry for trying to hurt you, that’s fucked up.” “Stop.” I whispered feeling my whole body aching for my boyfriend back. I’d made a massive mistake of leaving him, now the guilt was eating me alive. Max sighed gently, but his hand didn’t move off my back the whole car ride back to the hotel. Of course, there was paparazzi.

“Are you okay, do you want to wait a minute?” Max asked as I looked up to him for the first time the whole car ride. His whole expression has changed from earlier, he looked more gentle, tired, there wasn’t a trace of anger left on his face. “I’m sorry, Max.” My lips trembled as I undid my seatbelt. “I’m sorry for hurting you.” “C’mere.” He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as I sunk into his touch, a little too scared to touch him myself, but the comfort I gained from the hug was unalike anything else. He was patient with me, rested his head on top of mine for a couple moments before he took me by the hand, keeping me besides him through the row of flashing lights as I attempted to hide my face as much as possible. When we got back in the lift, it was a little awkward again. I pushed a 3 for my floor and he then pushed a 4. The floor were all the drivers stayed. “I’m just gonna go to bed now. I’m sorry for interrupting your night.” I finally spoke when the lift started moving. If I didn’t, it would be awkward as hell.

“You didn’t.” Max responded as I stared at the doors ahead of me. It was like a scene straight out of Grey’s anatomy. Soon enough, the doors swung open and I reluctantly headed back to my room. “Night, Max.” I muttered.

“Night.” I didn’t turn around to know he was glum, I knew he would be, and I couldn’t bare seeing it. I went to bed that night crying pathetically, confused as to what had actually happened. The whole thing was a mess, my mind was a mess. I really knew I’d made a fucked up decision leaving Max, now I just had to deal with the consequences…

[kings-highway]

i saw u were giving ur thoughts abt rare pairs and i wanted to know what you think about kurokita if ur down!!

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 🤔

I haven't really thought that much about these two in particular. Even if I love all the captains in every rotation. But.... welll.............

I think the funniest immediate dynamic that comes to head is that we've got Mr. Down Home "It Ain't Much but It's Honest" versus "Captialist Rex" which honestly I am not an enemies to lovers kinda person but if you wanted to make a hallmark movie-

Dear Kita has to come into the city and he's only there to help a family member sell at a local artisan market, and they've got a little shop set up, and Kuroo is basically classic entrepenurial spirit like "wow you could really make a business out of this little set up" and Kita says "get my name out of your mouth right now" and-

Actually hang on I'm kinda into this conceptually. Because Kita's, like, mean. Canonically. He's not like most of the other captains that like, mince words or try and keep people's morals up, up he straight up tells people to stop making mistakes and to be better, like... I don't know if Kuroo has a lot of people like that in his life that would hold a knife to his throat and tell him to be a better human being or the Gods will send him to hell.

I do think Kuroo could easily absolutely fall in love with this downhome kind of simple logic Kita has, very yes sir, thank you ma'am, let's get our work done, but in the way that what Kuroo might be missing in his very corporate life is a little bit of home comfort, somewhere to come back and rest his head and feel fulfilled. And I can imagine the first few nights he stays over on the farm rest him like nothing has ever rested him, and once Kita actually lets him talk about *why* he's climbing to the top of the volleyball managerial ladder (to lower the net for everybody!) Kita almost instantly falls in love. To put that much work into an ideal, to commit to something he cares about that hard and put that many hours a day in, that's something Kita can support, whatever it is.

Anyway Kita would absolutely make him little homemade bento boxes with cute little notes to take to work and then sometimes when Kuroo's messed up he'll leave very aggressive little notes.

Kita tries to pretend he doesn't think Kuroo is attractive at all, but (before they're together) he catches him sleeping on the bed with his shirt off and almost has an aneurism

Kuroo is pretty sure every time Kita smiles a year gets added to his life.

Atsumu finds out Kuroo (yes, that Kuroo!) is dating his former captain and Osamu has to stop him from sending a strongly worded letter to the editor regarding why Kita should absolutely break up with him right now do not trust the black cat do NOT

Anyway also I forgot to include somewhere in the original hallmark enemies-to-lovers triad that they have to hardcore hate fuck atleast once. I think they could do it. Better than other rarepairs i've thought about I think they could.

Overall Rating:

For Me, Personal Interest: 2/10

Personal Interest for Enemies to Lovers Country Boy v Coporate Man: 10/10 send me this fic right now. (and I don't even like enemies to lovers-)

Concept/Potential: 3.5/10?

Concept/Potential as Aforementioned Hallmark Movie: 10/10 oh my god I want it now??? I talked myself into this.

[nilboxes]

Light cone art so powerfully homoerotic someone (me) furiously pumped out a 6k word fic in 2 days. They're going to kill me. 🔗 : AO3

Extensive notes/ramblings below!

-

I have not recovered from the mental power I had to pool to write this lmao I couldn't do anything at work except figure these two out and why Aventurine looked so BESOTTED but the absence of the little white dots in his eyes in the light cone and in the leaked models made him look like there's such an edge to him (someone on twitter pointed out that he has no light in his eyes!) and it really fanned the flames like what the fuck is this GUY ON and why is it directed at Dr. Ratio LMAO (I mean why not Ratio is so pretty)

So then I thought, there is NO WAY Ratio is going to react surprised or scared for Aventurine he's going to be ANNOYED lmao. There are possibly 2 more chances in that cylinder before it's 100% in there and I was looking at the probabilities on Wikipedia and I was laughing at myself at how a gay ship was going to make me STUDY probability when I hated this type of stuff in university and I was like yeah Ratio will probably be like hey, you can't stop there, and pulls twice lmao

And I was thinking they would make eyes at each other homoerotically while doing so because wow sexual tension so potent you can taste it through the screen in the LC art and everything just went from there I really cannot get over how Aventurine seems so... sooooooo in love with Ratio and in my head Ratio is like this man is insane what is he on but he gets a taste of that and it's like wow it's actually a little good but Ratio is also cautious so he won't ride that wave too hard but Aventurine looks really down bad for a man who seems like he doesn't care

So initially I really wanted to wait until Aventurine came out before I start my hyperfixation train because we know so little about him other than key facts I have formed in my head-- -he's perpetual smiler (confirmed by a leak of the loading screen blurbs) and like, idk from his design it just suits him and even in his voice cameo with Topaz his VA sounds like they are smiling while they are talking ALLL the time idk at least I got this one right -mr gambling gambler who is very self-assured about his luck, mr smug man. when I wrote he'd win 99.9-0.1 he believes this and if he dies I think to him it would just mean his time's up for realsies anyway and whatever idk man is not very sane -there's some really weird leaks and I'm not sure if it's confirmed but he was invited to be a Masked Fool which made him ALLL the more interesting for me because as a Sampo Mr Scammer fan it doesn't mean if he joins the Masked Fools he wouldn't be able to amass money but this guy seems to really like the thrill being an IPC senior manager provides then which is like this guy is a lives fast dies young kinda guy -I HC from that neck tattoo he could have been an indentured servant (cough slave cough) or a prisoner of some kind, but eitherway it says he wasn't privileged in any sense of the word but the way his character design is so decked out in rings gold watches and even a bracelet it means he's climbed very far, so he is an ambitious man, lots of "material pleasures" as Dr Ratio puts it in my fic and he still wants more. That kinda guy makes for a very intense lover imo very "I get what I want" type, and I really wanted to balance that with his attraction to Dr Ratio and how he doesn't want to drive Dr Ratio away with his crazy but he's also very horny... Anyway I also totally underestimated his height difference with Dr Ratio I really should have pulled up that leak of them side by side but ahh being a short king dom top is so cute on him

As for Dr Ratio I really cannot see him top unless Aventurine power bottoms why but he's so "diligent" in all aspects but I see him being a pillow princess in bed

I also feel a little bad that I wasn't able to write more bickering between the two of them but I also feel like the normally talkative Dr Ratio keeps HIGH HIGH walls around Aventurine because it's hard to tell what this guy is thinking so he's thinking so hard trying to make sense of it all and he says little as not to give away anything that might be wrong

I feel like adding "all is fair in love and war" in Latin omina iusta sunt amore belloque was a little gratuitous but I also want to subtly sprinkle in that Aventurine is so obsessed with Ratio, so down bad for him, that he reads stuff about Dr Ratio a lot enough to come across a translation of the quote and I'm like no yeah way Ratio can deal with crazy-eyed Aventurine saying/declaring love while he's still computing the electric exchange they had so he's definitely like picking up on Aventurine's obsession/infatuation with him and he's like NOPE DON'T SAY IT and would rather kiss him to shut him up than hear it lmao

I honestly despaired at how I was going to start closing the scenes because it was like nighttime and I wanted to finish it already because they're killing me, so like, making Ratio fall asleep while Aventurine pours his heart out (I asked a friend who read it what he thought Aventurine said and they got it spot on so I figure it was conveyed properly on my end and I was really proud of this bit) seemed like a cute way to do it. The narration lied, Dr Ratio heard it but he got selective hearing and totally did NOT want to reply/acknowledge it. Poor Aventurine, but it's not as if he won't try again

I have waaay more ideas about them and I wonder if I can hold off until Aventurine releases or we get more crumbs idk but I want to write some kuudere Ratio (with a bit of tsun hehe)

Special mentions other than the lightcone art that fueled me: this art from Twitter that and this post that kinda made me think long and hard...

[sasha199]

Gale/ Wyll drama pt. 8

Y’all…this game hits different when your Tav is a stand in for yourself. Back to the Holy Rolan Empire.

My sister and I are playing a multiplayer as ourselves, as sisters. I was romancing/flirting with both Gale and Wyll. I made a move on Lae’zel too but THAT ended in tears. Sister is pulling both Astarion and Shadowheart

(I’m Sasha, sister is Marlie.)

“We’re ready to get the fuck out of here.”

I rush at Lia, choking on my relief. She pats my back, and smiles into my shoulder, “Sasha, come on. Where do we take the boats?”

I pull back from her, but she grips my forearms, heedless of her claws digging into my skin, she’s shaking, with relief I'm sure. 

“To Last Light, it's an inn and it’s safe. Your people are waiting for you.”

“You mean the others, they escaped?”

“Yes, because of you... and Rolan.”

Her face crumples, and I steady her as I walk her over to one of the waiting row boats. I sit next to her and she leans her head on me. Her horns are long and they dig into my cheek and shoulder. Cal grabs a set of oars, and Marlie and Shadowheart climb in after us. Gale is helping the gnomes in another boat. 

The ride over the water is dark and cold, everyone we've rescued starts to display signs of succumbing to the Shadow Curse. I know all to well that deep cold terror, that smothering feeling that seeps into your very bones and soul. I make eye contact with Marlie, she shakes her head. We dare not light a torch. The tower is still brimming with cultists who are bound to notice their prisoners have escaped soon. Sound carries over water, so I do my best to soothe Lia as her moans escalate through chattering teeth. I smooth her hair and hum a soft tune, Marlie says nothing but I know she recognizes it. Our mother used to sing it all the time, back when she was still of sound mind. 

Finally we arrive at Last Light, and everyone has a visceral reaction to Isobel's protective barrier. Unfortunately, no one can enter the inn until they've been inspected for tadpoles. I stand with Lia until the tedious process is over, her elbow entwined with mine. I’m just so happy they haven't been infected. As the siblings move to enter common area on the first floor I gently release my grip on her. She doesn’t let me go. “Aren’t you coming in with us?” 

“I don’t want to intrude on your reunion.”

“It’s only because of you and Marlie that we even have one,” she insists. 

I shake my head, “Please, Lia.” 

She goes very still, “What did he do?” Her voice is menacing, she sounds a lot like him.

“He…he was…” I hate my inability to control my face.

“That areshole!” She grips my hand (wow those claws) and tugs me in after her.

Marlie is there suddenly, “She doesn’t want to see him, Lia.” Her arms are crossed over her slight frame but her form is still solid and imposing. “Let her go. We can handle this.”

Lia looks from her to me and releases my hand. She hugs me again, quickly. She mutters a final word of thanks into my hair before dashing away to follow after Marlie and Cal. 

I rub my cheek where her horn bruised me. 

Outside more reunions are happening, I find an open crate to sit in. I can hear Bex and Danis down by the water. Their love is so beautiful, I hope they get that small home with a garden and a cat. I let the tears fall quietly. After all, I’m a good guy. 

Gale comes around a corner on the other side of the inn. His stride is determined but he pauses to scan the courtyard before moving over towards Dammon’s blacksmith area. 

I feel my tadpole wriggle, he’s looking for me. Gods, he looks good in those robes. A worthy purchase, I think to myself as I tap away the tears on my cheeks with the back of my hand. I notice a few crescent marks from Lia’s claws just above my knuckle, a bit of blood has seeped out. Wow tieflings are intense, one would have to be made of stone to tangle with them. 

I’m not hiding, not really, but I draw my legs up into the crate and settle back on the straw. We did good today. We got the tieflings and the gnomes out of Moonrise. Barkus will be so happy, Wulbren doesn’t seem like much to me but to each their own…he was so worried about him. 

I stifle a yawn and tuck my arm under my head, I should go get Gale, can’t have him wandering around looking for me. 

“There you are.” Astarion’s velvet voice is unmistakable. I open my eyes and sit up, but I don’t see him anywhere. “Need something?” he drawls as if it’s perfectly normal to be invisible.

“Where are you?”

“Here.”

“Very funny,” I mutter, “come on out please.”

He steps into my range of vision, I have no idea how he was hiding in the small crevice of a tent flap but apparently he was. Rouge shit. 

“That tiefling is wanting to speak with you.”

“Very specific.” 

“The angry one, the one you keep protecting.” Astarion takes a seat on a barrel next to me. He pulls out a dagger and casually twirls it between his fingers. “He apologized for his behavior and handed over a hefty purse, to compensate us for our valiant heroics.”

“I hope you threw it back in his face.”

Astarion looks at me. “That is not Marlie’s way.”

“Or yours.” 

“Quite.” He tucks the knife in his belt and leans forward on the barrel, “Between us, I could definitely understand if you had grown bored already with Gale.” 

“What?”

He tilts his head to the side and raises his eyebrows, “No need to be coy with me. Why limit yourself? It’s perfectly clear you have …options.” 

I had just kissed Gale for the first time two days ago, and broken up with Wyll yesterday. “Astarion, I’m an emotional wreck right now, do a girl a favor and speak plainly. Are you asking me if I’m into Rolan?” 

“No. Anyone with eyes can see that you are.” He stands up then, runs his long fingers through his silky not-quite curly hair. “Things are different for me now, but there was a time not so long ago when I would have been just as keen to keep my options open.” 

I narrow my eyes at him, “First of all you’re wrong. Period. Second of all, I’ve made my choice.” 

“Very well, has Gale made his?” 

I open my mouth to speak, but then I hesitate. Has he? “Made his choice about what?” I finally say, “Me? The orb? Mystra?”

“All of it. Any of it.”

“I don’t know.” My voice is small, as small as I feel inside.

“I’m just saying, dear, perhaps you should hold off on any final decision until things become…crystal clear.” 

I look into those red eyes, is he toying with me, manipulating me? Probably. What does he gain from me pushing Gale away? There’s no way he thinks Rolan is a better match for me…does he? 

“Are you trying to be...friendly? Helpful? What's your angle?”

He doesn’t look surprised at the question. “I am your friend. Your sister…means something to me. Her happiness is dependent upon yours. So I want you to be happy. Not heartbroken.”

“You think Gale will blow himself up?”

He shrugs, “Who knows? If he does…well it never hurts to to have a plan B.” 

I sigh, “Y'know Astarion...you’re alright, in your way. Harsh, but alright.”

He huffs indignantly, “Darling, I’m fabulous.”

***

***

“There you are.” Gale’s face lights up at the sight of me, he quickly looks concerned. “Where did that blood come from?”

“Oh,” I touch my cheeks, “nowhere. I’m fine, really.”

“Feeling tired?” I nod, my eyes feel heavy. He guides me to an empty stall in the smithy.

I prop myself up against the back wall and pull him to me. I just look at him. He smiles at me, probably feeling a bit awkward under my scrutiny. I smile back and reach out to stroke his hair. I touch the ends of it first, the bits that graze his shoulders. It's grown a lot. I've always wanted to touch it, a part of me can't believe its happening.  I watch fascinated as the soft brown tresses slip between my fingers like silk, so different from my own. I gather it up in two handfuls, watch it cascade around his face as I let it fall. 

I giggle. 

His mouth crashes down onto mine. He groans against me, he sounds breathless, desperate. I open my mouth to say his name and his tongue darts inside. Exploring, tasting, his nose pressed perfectly against my own. I'm lost in the sensation, I want to melt into him. After another moment or several he breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against my cheek.

“Direct me,” He whispers. He sweeps my pony tail to one side and his mouth is warm and soft on my neck. I close my eyes and tip my head back to give him better access. I moan appreciatively as his knee slips between my thighs, his fingertips caress the underside of my breast.  I feel him hook a finger at the shoulder of my blouse. “Lovely,” he mutters lowering his head.

“Gale, wait.” I know I have something to say but I’m struggling with coherent thought.

He stops, his hands come back to my waist.

I take his face between my hands, his eyes are shining. “Remember...you remember at the tower when you made that Shadow lantern, from the supplies we found in Balthazar’s room?”

“Of course,” he looks down at my lips, he pauses for a beat before continuing, “you encouraged me to try to create it regardless of the potential for Mystra’s wrath.” 

“Yes, exactly, I-“

“I was afraid today."

"You-you were?"

"Yes," he punctuates the work with a kiss. "When you climbed over that wall, anything could've been waiting for you on the other side." Another kiss. "Anything. I keep remembering...watching you slip over the stone thinking that might be the last I ever saw of you."

"It had to be done." I stroke his cheek, "We had to get them out."

He closes his eyes, he nods. "And we did. We bought them out, because of you."

"Because of us." 

He wraps his arms around me, squeezing me. "Let’s not speak of this now. Please? We'll speak more tonight. When the others are asleep." 

“What?”

“Trust me.” He lowers his mouth to my neck again, just below my ear. He hums, sucking gently, and then with greater pressure.

“Ah, Gale!”

“Mmm?”

“No hickies!” 

He smiles against my skin, “As you say.” Then he withdraws from me. “I have to prepare. Don't forget, come find me.” 

“Find you?”

“Well,” he thinks about that for a moment, its well know that I don’t have the greatest sense of direction, “don’t fret. I’ll make sure I'm easy to find.” 

[nicksolemnlyswears]

HOTD S2 EP2 THOUGHTS

SPOILERS AHEAD

I need to start this by the very strange scene at the brothel. It took me so much by surprise I had to pause it. Like we all know these boys have mommy issues but I always thought it was more Aegon than Aemond. Like wow. I was left like this

It was the intimate position, his hair was down, the lack of clothes. He was completely vulnerable. Aemond wanted to be coddled and to be told reassuring words.

I didn’t understand well the part where she tries to kiss him and he says “not here” like sure man. you’re just naked and telling the keeps secret but go off [ngl i was waiting for her to pop a boob out and breast feed him]

that woman is a dangerous woman. she had scheming eyes. we’ll see where that goes.

Following up with the mommy issues I am so disappointed in Alicent. Aegon is clearly not her favorite child I do not know how she can bear seeing him weep as he seeks her out and she just nopes out. WTF. No wonder your other son is seeking refuge elsewhere. Also forcing Haelena to do the funeral proceeding. What sort of mother are you? The Greens think they’re so high and mighty but they barely resemble a family. They are not a united front.

The funeral proceedings almost had me in tears. I didn’t think they’d show the poor child with its head sewn back together. I thought he’d be covered. Now more so than ever I curse Alicent. You are forcing your daughter who had to witness his death relieve this scene. You forced her to watch her son be paraded around the city.

Daemon fucked up and it’s because of him that a child is dead and yet I can’t bring myself to hate the Blacks. The Greens are terrible people.

Aegon is falling apart and mourning and he has no one to come to. He doesn’t know how to control his emotions and I can’t blame him for it when his mother and grandfather only use him as a puppet and not a real human being. I pity the Hightower children.

That being said WTF was that? Making Ser Criston Cole the hand to the king? Disgusting. He was projecting so hard during this episode. Bitching about Arryks dirty cloak and blaming him for Jaeherys death.

BITCH IT WAS YOUR FAULT FOR GETTING YOUR COCK WET. FUCKING CRISTON COLE I CANT FUCKING STAND HIM. I CANT EVEN SAY IM HAPPY ALICENT SLAPPED HIM CAUSE HE PROBABLY ENJOYED IT.

I’ve got more to say regarding the Greens but my blood pressure is going up. Let me recap I hate them and I pity them all at the same time because the three children are only products of Alicent and Otto’s parenting (Viserys up to some point to)

Oh and let’s not forget Otto’s kind words for Viserys. He probably just misses how easy he was to control.

MOVING ONTO THE BLACKS

Baby Jace and Baela I love that little moment and yet I fear it because she’s out there on cute little Moondancer and it sounds like trouble.

Love the Ser Harwin talk. They acknowledge it and they accept it. Talk about being progressive.

But also so sad that Baela feels that way towards Daemon. I had high hopes for their relationship considering that deleted scene in season 1.

RHAENYS HAVING RHAENYRAS BACK TALK ABOUT FEMINISM. HELL YEAH! I fully want Rhaenys to be Rhaenyras ride or die!!

Daemon fucked up, yes. Will we ever know what he told Blood and Cheese? No. Still I can’t blame Rhaenyra for doubting him. He’s a sketchy man who puts on his little cloak to commit war crimes.

Don’t get me wrong I’m a Daemon stan but if he didn’t act so sketchy maybe we would trust him more.

He’s a dramatic guy he’s out commuting yet another big declaration of love for Rhaenyra. Like “look i’ve got harrenhal for you” I think idk we’ll see next episode.

Ser Arryk and Ser Erryk how fucking tragic. and whose fault is it? FUCKING CRISTON COLE PIECE OF SHIT

breathe nikki breathe

a part of me thinks he killed himself because he knew they would live in doubt if he’s really sir erryk. but in reality they believed they share a soul so that was probably why. he killed his other fucking half. they might be divided by believes but they still love each other.

ELINDA IS A REAL HANDMAID. SHE FOLLOWED INSTRUCTIONS AND LOOKED FOR A GUARD. Haelenas maid could never.

I have so many more thoughts so if anyone wants to talk please feel free to hit me up. I’ll probably rewatch the episode tomorrow again to process

[sagereidxx]

betty (byler's version)

"Okay, okay, everyone settle down!" Mike laughed into his mic as everyone was still cheering at the last song they played. "We have a new one for you and guess what?" Mike asked as he quietly strummed his guitar. "It's a new one!" Mike dragged out the last "e" in his sing-songy voice.

As everyone cheered, he looked over to very far left of the stage to see his boyfriend, Will, in the very front row, as close as he could get to the stage. Just like he promised he would be.

Mike waved and looked back to the center of the crowd where a bright stage light was waiting to blind him.

"This one is called betty." Mike smiled and looked back to Will who smiled up at his boyfriend and started cheering again.

Mike looked behind him to make sure everyone was ready to play before he started singing.

"Honey, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom. But I think it's 'cause of me." Mike began then stepped away from for the mic to shoot another glace at Will, who was already staring at Mike in awe. He smiled and stepped back up to the mic, singing.

"Honey, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your old house. It's like I couldn't breathe." Mike looked back, this time holding his eyes on Will like he was the only one there.

"You heard the rumors for El and you can't believe a word she says most time, but this time it was true." El? Will thought.

"The worst thing that I ever said, was what I said to you." As soon as Will heard this line sung in Mike's sweet voice, he somehow was back in Mike's driveway and somehow, it's summer of '85 and it's pouring down raining and Mike just said, "it's not my fault you don't like girls" right to Will's face. But wait, this song is about him.

"But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself? Or lead me to the garden?" Mike sang looking back to the center of the crowd, deciding that he was staring at Will for too long.

"in the garden, would you trust me if I told you, it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen. I don't know anything, but I know I miss you."

Oh, Mike and Will's first fight as an actual couple. It wasn't a "real" fight. They weren't mad at each other it was just a lot of miscommunication and angst. There might've been some yelling but there were definitely a lot of tears. Mike didn't know what to do he threw himself on his bed and Will's following him.

"I feel like I don't know anything anymore." Mike cries as he can feel Will's weight sink in the bed next to him. "We're only fifteen, we both don't know anything." Will says sweetly as he reaches out to touch Mike. "I know that I love you." Mike whispers, quiet and crushing. "I love you too. And that's all we need to know right now." Will scoops up Mike as he starts to cry into Will's chest.

Will was so deep into that though he feels like he gets thrown back to the place he been in all along as Mike sings. "Honey, I know where it all went wrong, your favorite song was playing from the far side of the gym." Mike looks back at Will and jokingly rolls his eyes.

Will knows why. He laughs because he knows how insufferable he was when they were both little, listening to "Should I Stay, or Should I go? By The Clash on repeat until he couldn't anymore.

"I was nowhere to be found, you hate the crowds, you know that, plus I saw you dance with him." Will laughed again, remembering all those times Lucas would pull him off the couch at the parties he would throw after winning his basketball game. "Wow, Lucas, lookin' good." Mike said in his sarcastic tone and acts like his jealous.

Mike sang the chorus again, sounding sweeter and sweeter to Will the more he sung. but everything in the room went quiet as Mike began the bridge and the music started to get faster.

"I was walking home on broken cobblestones, just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions. She said "James, get it in. Let's drive." Those days turned into night. Sat and talked to her but, I dreamt of you all summer long."

Will knew he was talking about everyone's favorite, Max. never calling Mike by his middle name because "James just fits him better" as she put it.

Mike ripped the mic off his stand and walked downstage to the very front of the stage all the way to the right.

He sings as he looks down at the people that were in the very front row, almost pushed up against the stage. "Baby, I'm here on your doorstep and I planned it out for weeks now but, it's finally sinking in."

He slowly makes his way back to the right center of the stage. Will's laughs because he walks around the stage singing like he's performing standup comedy.

"Baby, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again." Mike sings and looks up again, locking eyes with Will and inching closer to stage left.

Mike keeps his eyes on Will, not caring that anyone else in the room with them. "The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you."

"So, I showed up at your party." Mike stopped as he reached stage left, stopping in front of Will. She sat down on the end of the stage, right in front of Will.

"Yeah, I showed up at your party." Mike reached a hand out and took Will's. He looked away from Will and back to the crowd.

Mike gave Will a look that basically said, "can I pull you on stage?" Will nodded aggressively, excited.

As the tempo of the song changed again, Mike dragged Will up on stage and started singing again and both of them reached center stage, right where Mike left his mic stand.

"Yeah, I showed up at your party, will you have me? will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch, in front of all our stupid friends?" Mike laughed as Will smiled at him, beaming.

"If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything, but I know I miss you." Mike continued dragging Will around. This time, down center stage.

“Standin’ in your cardigan. Kissin’ in my car again.” Mike continued as he sat in the middle of center stage, pulling Will down with him.

Will sat down next to Mike, he decided to lay in Will’s lap. “Stopped at a street light, you know I missed you.” Mike finally finished.

Only looking at Will, who smiled down at Mike as he heard everyone cheer for his boyfriend.

“Well, everyone, this is my boyfriend, Will.” Mike said, holding the mic up to Will’s mouth. “Hi!” He spoke into it. 

DAY ONE OF 100 FOLLOWER SPEICAL!!

tags!

@hollarious2

@artsyna

@wallywise

@lebylershipper

@ash-the-wise

@tender-emotional-music

@willbyerswatch

@hearteyes-wheeler

@paloma-ascends-into-hellfire

@willbyerslove

@drowninginideas

@sunflowerbyler

[marichive]

𝐓 𝐎 𝐗 𝐈 𝐂 𝐈 𝐓 𝐀

A compilation of things a muse of mine has said. Ranges from 100% seriousness to absolute chaos (but mostly chaos). Change pronouns / etc. when sending as needed.

tw for drinking/alcohol mentions, suggestive content, violence mentions, lots of swearing / insults, other non-PG shenanigans.

❝ Get the heart eyes away from me. ❞

❝ I can't help it, I'm just too hot. ❞

❝ Was I supposed to NOT be mean? ❞

❝ I am what the boomers like to call a "delinquent". ❞

❝ Just think before you say anything, "would I say this to [name] for fun", and if the answer is yes, do not say that shit to her. ❞

❝ Aw, did that hurt your little feelings? ❞

❝ Oh dear god, what torture are you going to put me through now? ❞

❝ Words cannot express how much I hate the words that I just read with my own two eyes. ❞

❝ Call me [nickname] again and I'll break your face. ❞

❝ If you turn that into a sex joke I swear to god — ❞

❝ Cursed. Horrible. Disappointing. ❞

❝ Adorable that you think you're worth the effort. ❞

❝ The only kink here is gonna be the one in your fucking spine. ❞

❝ One, I'm not your babe. Two, I will fucking strangle you. ❞

❝ Do you have a death wish or something? ❞

❝ Feel like doing something ridiculous? ❞

❝ I feel like this is what happens before someone walks into an intervention. ❞

❝ My entire support system is having a crisis right now. ❞

❝ I'm just not ready to deal with it right now. ❞

❝ I'm not gonna try to fix things and get myself in another fight as a consequence. ❞

❝ I fucked up and kinda shut down before I could. ❞

❝ I don't know how to make this right. ❞

❝ Maybe he's better off without me. ❞

❝ You went right back to blaming me for everything the first chance you got. ❞

❝ I imagine it's hard for you to feel sorry for anyone at all. ❞

❝ I can't catch a fucking break. ❞

❝ I actually liked the idea that we could maybe be friends and move past everything, but you're always going to think the worst of me. ❞

❝ I guess I did ruin everything, didn't I? ❞

❝ I needed to win to prove to myself that I could do it. ❞

❝ No no, this one is actually a good idea! ❞

❝ See, this is why you're perfect for each other. ❞

❝ Maybe he'll be more receptive to it if you're there. Or at least less hostile about it. ❞

❝ I think you're probably the only person who could get through to him on this. ❞

❝ I've had to do a lot of things I didn't want to do to try to get by. I get what that's like. ❞

❝ You're not a snack, you're a whole damn meal. Don't be humble. ❞

❝ Soooo I might have done something. ❞

❝ He's too much of a petty bitch for that. ❞

❝ I'm going to terrorize him. ❞

❝ Guess I better get the bullying out of my system before then. ❞

❝ Wow, that's like, third base. ❞

❝ Hold my [object] while I kick ass for you. ❞

❝ You're the cutest duck, though. ❞

❝ That's the option with the least violence. ❞

❝ You're probably the only person I trust that much. ❞

❝ Okay that was cute, you can have a kiss for that one. ❞

❝ Um, that's me. I'm the Precious here. ❞

❝ I'm a scam of a person. ❞

❝ Don't worry, I'm sure all her murder energy is focused on [name]. ❞

❝ Want me to make mean faces at them? ❞

❝ There is something and I need you for impulse control. Or you can enable me, that's cool too. ❞

❝ Yeah but like, we're little shits by choice. He's a little shit out of hatred or spite or whatever the fuck fuels him to act like this. ❞

❝ I'm pretty sure my brain stopped working several times. ❞

❝ It's scandalous! I mean we're just SO wholesome and innocent. ❞

❝ People might start to think we're in love or something. ❞

❝ Getting kicked out of [location] sounds fun. ❞

❝ They are looking at me with their EYES. ❞

❝ . . . I've never seen that. ❞

❝ The trauma is half the fun. I'm just melodramatic. ❞

❝ Don't tell me how to breathe, mouth breather. ❞

❝ Why were you listening you fucking creature !? ❞

❝ Dude go to fucking therapy, I'm not even kidding. ❞

❝ I need to bleach my brain. ❞

❝ It was for safety purposes you nasty bastard! ❞

❝ Dishonor on you, gambling satan! ❞

❝ I don't know how you're still alive. ❞

❝ You call me the antichrist and accuse me of being pregnant at least three times per month. He gives me hugs and pizza. ❞

❝ No you're right, I set my expectations too high. ❞

❝ Why did you bet on THIS of all things oh my fucking god??? ❞

❝ Everyone's always like "[name] you have daddy issues" but I have no dad to have issues with so??? ❞

❝ I will beat you to death with your own limbs. ❞

❝ You Gary Busey lookin' bitch. ❞

❝ We have to watch you guys make bedroom eyes at each other all the time, we just want it to stop. ❞

❝ You use my horny behavior against me, it's only fair I get to use yours against you. ❞

❝ I have no sense of self preservation. It's why I get into so many fights. ❞

❝ Glad to know you approve of horrendously spiteful revenge tactics. ❞

❝ I may talk shit but I do worry about you. ❞

❝ Oh, I'm completely vile. I'm well aware. ❞

❝ At least I don't look like I got hit by a school bus because the driver thought you were a threat to the children on board. ❞

❝ Why are you the way that you are? I hate so much about the things you choose to be. ❞

❝ Well maybe you should, I don't know, talk to him about his trauma before you give him sex advice? Seems a bit out of order. ❞

❝ [name], don't touch my baby boy! ❞

❝ Did he drop kick my son !? ❞

❝ You told me you dropped [name/object] down the stairs, I do not trust you. ❞

❝ Say sike right now !! ❞

❝ Is this actually happening?? Am I having an aneurysm???? ❞

❝ I feel like this was a big accomplishment, we came out of this with no attempted murder. So it's a win. ❞

❝ Maybe we DO have the power of god and anime on our side. ❞

❝ I don't know if I trust you two drinking around each other. ❞

❝ I said behave oh my fucking god. ❞

❝ Do it for Voltron! ❞

❝ You like [food/brand/name], you clearly have no taste. ❞

❝ No breaking of the sacred pinky oath! ❞

❝ That was so stupid, but thanks for the attempted save. ❞

❝ I'm gonna hit you in the dick with a car while listening to the Power Rangers theme song, and I'm gonna have so much fun doing it, dickhead. ❞

❝ The rules are reasonable. The problem is that I am unreasonable and I know I will break them. ❞

[jin-mukang]

I finally finished reading Tress of the Emerald Sea. A little late, I know, but hey, this has been the first book I've physically (ebook) read myself and not listened to as an audiobook in years.

Anyways, I just wanted to sing my praise for Brandon Sanderson writing a predictable book.

More under the cut cuz spoilers and rambling

Lately, I feel like a lot of media has gotten this hate train for predicability. Marvel, for one, is an easy example. But there's also things like movies and shows made with an already popular IP that is another example. Directors, authors, writers, everyone seems so obsessed with shocking the consumer. They want endings that come out of nowhere, leaving the consumer feeling nothing but awe struck whiplash. And quite frankly, I've gotten real tired of that years ago.

Anyways, I'm rambling.

When I first started reading Tress, the first thing I predicted was "Tress is going to be a knight in shining armor, Charlie will be the damsel in distress". I knew this, because when Tress and Charlie were talking about damels and knights, they talked about it specifying how Tress wouldn't be a very good damsel, and Charlie wouldn't be a very good knight. It's an easy conclusion for a reader to come to for there to be a role reversal, so when it actually happened, all I could feel was relief. Thank GOD the story went along my prediction. I got very excited thinking that Tress would be doing the rescuing, and if that didn't happen, I would have been disappointed, not shocked by how unpredictable it turned out to be. I didn't want a "Tress is the damsel, but wait, there's a twist!" Situation. The way they talked suggested a role reversal, and that conversation would have meant nothing if it went any other way. It would have just been a rude gesture of "hah! You thought you could predict the story by just this conversation! You fool! I tricked you! I purposely put in this conversation to trick you!"

Lemme get it clear that I don't expect Brandon Sanderson to write like that. Admittedly, when I pledged to the Kickstarter, I hadn't actually read a single book from Brandon Sanderson. I had NO CLUE what I was getting into, but it seemed like the perfect deadline to actually sit down and go through the Cosmere stories before the books started getting sent. Trust me, if I didn't spend money on the Kickstarter, I never would have picked up The Way of Kings. I've been frightened of that book since Junior High. It's been haunting the corners of my mind every time I visit the library. It looks like a good book! It's just so fucking long! So yeah, I spent money on a Kickstarter for an author I've never read a book from before. And I'm glad I did. I got through Stormlight, in getting through Mistborn, I love these books so much.

ANYWAYS. I just want to stress because of how much I loved Stormlight and Mistborn, I truly didn't expect Brandon to do a "HAH! FOOLED YOU WITH MY FALSE LEAD!". In fact, going into Tress, when I saw that foreshadowing, I knew I could trust it. And it still felt so rewarding for that little, easy to come to prediction, to actually come into reality.

So, when I met Huck, I knew the moment we learnt about the Sorceress's curses, that Huck was Charlie. This prediction was a little harder to stick to, but the subtle inconsistencies of Huck's story and goals kept me firm on it, but it was also done with such care that I knew if I was wrong, then there's surely something that makes sense and will wow me anyways. I wouldn't be disappointed that Huck wasn't Charlie, the book didn't lead you on to focus on that.

And then, this is where Brandon Sanderson does throw you in for a loop. It's so subtly obvious that Huck is Charlie, but then Tress gets to the Sorceress and suddenly, just for a page, you're confronted with a human Charlie who is so so Charlie and you're stopped there thinking "wait, where's the catch? How are Charlie and Huck not the same?" And you're suddenly confronted that not only did Tress change, but you as the reader changed too. At the beginning of the book, you know they're perfect for each other, you want to rescue Charlie too, you want them together and happy, but Charlie didn't change. He's the same. The same old Charlie... just doesn't seem right for Tress anymore. She doesn't seem happy. You don't feel happy. All the Sorceress wanted were her cups? But what about Huck?

What about Huck.

And then, Tress realizes, and you nearly jump out of your chair screaming when she realizes YOU were right all along. Huck is Charlie! This human Charlie is a fake!! Tress goes back to the Sorceress to demand her real Charlie back.

It was so exciting. So so so enjoyable.

Anyways, this isn't to say I think the story was purposely predictable, or that it was meant to be guessed ahead of time, but man, it was so so nice to see a story just. Happen. There's so many things Tress of the Emerald Sea could be complimented about, but I haven't seen anyone talk about the predicability of the story itself, and how it's done so well, and proves that shock factor doesn't make a good story, a good story makes a good story, and sometimes good stories are oh so delightfully predicable.