#Whatever. At least it means some sense is there
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Of course this had to happen now.
The first time Kyle and Jessica were back on Earth in months, and a Green Lantern needed help.
But Hal and John were off with other major Justice League members for an intergalactic mission while Guy and Simon were taking care of Sinestro elsewhere in the Galaxy (Which was why the two were on Earth in their place)
Arriving on the scene, somewhere in Illinois, they found the scene as a teen who looked barely out of high school was defending himself from agents in white suits firing blasters firing green energy at him.
On closer inspection, the teen was wearing a typical Lantern Uniform but it was primarily black and white with only a bit of green like Kyle's uniform. It appeared to resemble a Hazmat Suit, with a matching pair of black goggles that had green lenses in them. In the center of his chest the Lantern Symbol was around some symbol combining a D & P.
Eventually one shot hit his leg as it bled a green substance, he wasn't human or at least not fully. Did an alien crash land on Earth and get attacked by these agents? Either way concerning violations or the Meta Protection Act aside, they had a priority to step in as both fellow Green Lanterns and as members of the Justice League.
"Halt. Cease your fire at once!" Jessica shouted as the two landed.
"More of you spooks? Doesn't matter how many ghosts there are." One of the agents finally noticed them before aiming their blasters towards the newcomers while the other went towards the ghost boy.
This perked up the Lanterns as the blasts hit them, it strung but barely did much more unlike what happened to the teen. Was it something he was weak to... Questions for later.
Kyle chuckled at the agents own confusion at their weapons lack of effect. "Ghosts? No... I believe you're mistaken, we're as human as anyone else on Earth. And as Green Lanterns we have a duty... To protect!"
"But that ring, it radiated ecto energy... In the name of the Anti Ecto Control Acts we demand you surrender and turn your rings in. You're not fully Ecto Contaminated yet and we can help yo-"
They were cut off as a giant green bulldozer shoved them into a green cage that lifted them into the air.
"Enough. You can spout whatever nonsense you're going on about to the Justice League I'm sure they'd love to hear why you're attacking this boy." Jessica rolled her eyes.
"Phantom's a ghost, just an unfeeling pile of ectoplasmic scum! It's a non-sentient creature that knows nothing but violence. What makes you two so sure it's anything otherwise?" One of the Agents shouted back.
The boy, Phantom as they called him, looked down at their statements denying his sentience.
"That's bullshit."
Kyle walked forward as held up a fist, his ring glowed brightly on it as he got Phantom's attention.
"These rings of ours. They sense and are powered by the power of emotions of others. Not just anyone can use them. And in order to become a Green Lantern..."
He looked at Phantom.
"You have a high level of Willpower and be capable of overcoming your own fears even in the face of danger and evil."
This caused the ghost boy to smile softly.
The Agents looked perplexed, appearing to consider Kyle's words. Before finally giving their response.
"Ha! Nice try! Whatever ghost told you that is probably just trying to manipulate you into protecting Phantom! Once we clear this up with the Justice League, he'll be ripped apart molecule by molecule!"
Kyle frowned before looking at Jessica who summoned a bat to crack them both on the head and knock them out from blunt force trauma alone.
"You handle this, I'll talk to the kid." Kyle looked at Jessica who nodded and took the Agents off to the nearest Zeta.
Meanwhile Kyle crouched down at the kid.
"Hey don't let those guys bum you out, but you're a Lantern right?"
The ghost looked at his ring before tilting his head.
"I guess, but... I don't understand what this and what it means to be a Green Lantern."
Ah. So he got the ring recent recent. Like just now.
"Ah. I see. In that case, Kyle Rayner of Earth..."
He extended a hand out, hesitantly. Which Danny took.
"Danny Phantom... Of... Well it's complicated to explain and... Oh... Fuuu..."
He then finally collapsed and coughed violently, likely he's only been standing because of adrenaline.
Before Kyle could respond, two silver rings appeared around his body as his uniform swapped the white and black while his wispy white hair turned to a normal black. The green of his blood turned a proper red. He went from... Ghost as those men called him, to a human.
"Shit!"
Kyle lifted the young one up as he carried him off in the same direction of the Zeta that Jessica was going towards. He needed to get to the Watchtower and get the kid some medical attention.
Of course this had to happen now.
The What Corps?
âwe have you now spook! there is nowhere you can run and hide with our new spectral tethers active!â
Danny winces at the small metal clips that have hooked themselves in his leg, some new GIW tech that is messing with his powers.
âoh yeah? I was just dying for you guys to give me a challengeâ plan. plan. He's gotta think of a plan to get out of here and fast. He takes a steadying breath and starts to look for anything that can help him.
he canât get caught here. He just can't. He simply wonât allow himself.
suddenly the two GIW goons in front of him click their earpieces to clearly listen to what someone else is telling them, Danny is very glad for his own enhanced senses.
âOperatives K and O, be advised, there have been sightings of a new ectoplasmic entity near your location. Other operatives report that itâs incredibly small and moves fast. watch your backs, this may be an ambushâ
small and fast? it better not be some poor little blob ghost, Danny sort of hopes itâs some manner of ectowasp, at least that could be entertaining to see.
âyou better not be hoping for back up, ecto scumâ
âI have no idea what you are talking aboutâ
It's then that a small bright green light zips on scene and weaves through crowds in the distance with ease and then speeds up towards the two operatives who do not hesitate to shoot, missing completely like the storm troopers they are.
Whatever it is, it is indeed going very fast but Danny manages to figure out what it looks like and it appears to be a⌠ring?
âhold it you tiny accessory shaped ecto fiend!â
The ring does a speedy circle around Operative O while K is lining up a shot and ends up blasting the poor guy point blank in his face, âO!â
Danny takes a step forward with an arm outstretched and a âoh damn! Are you alright?â on his lips when the ring takes the chance to slip on his finger. âDaniel Fenton of Earthâ
Danny already had a freakout about a ghost jewelry getting on him, his experiences with those so far have been incredibly bad after all, what with the rings and crowns and pendants⌠now this damn thing is just straight up outing him!Â
Thank the ancients the two GIW stooges are too busy with each other right now to pay close attention to what this weird ring is saying.
âYou have the ability to overcome great fearâ ah so this is related to him steeling himself just now? Maybe? or something??
You have been chosenâ never good, we are back to freaking out again.
âWelcome to the green lantern corpsâÂ
⌠the what?
Danny notices that his usual outfit suddenly has more green going on, and his DP symbol has some sort of⌠he guess itâs supposed to be a lantern, maybe? shape around it.
Heâs somehow even more glowy now, and there is something on his face. Feeling its shape makes him think itâs some sort of mask.
The metal clip things are no longer attached to his legs though so thatâs great!
âYouâre not getting away so easily ecto scum! sentient ghost paraphernalia coming to your rescue or no!â They both aim their weapons to take a shot.
Danny figures he can now easily hold them back with his usual shields,âyou guys realize you just called this weird ring sentient and thereby negate the whole nonsentie-ack!â
âAttacking a corps lantern is punishable offense as of the instatement of the galactic diplomatic immunity as declared by the-â Okay so now Danny is just raising his eyebrow at this weird as fuck ring. Just what is it going on about?
ânotifying nearby lanterns and requesting assistance with apprehension of hostilesâ
what?
âgetting your friends to help you out vile spook? such a thing is useless with the Blackout still very much in placeâ
Well⌠the two streaks of green light in the distance is making Danny doubt that statement.
Maybe there is more to this Lantern corps thing than he thought⌠And something tells him his life is about to get even more complicated than it already is.
#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#dc x dp#dp x dc crossover#phanfic#green lantern corps#Danny really doesn't need a power ring for it's abilities#but he's going to be an insufferable little shit with the whole diplomatic immunity thing#you can pry that trinket from his colder deader hands#after seeing those moves Danny already decided#that ring is his spirit animal#personally I also think he'd love being a Lantern because Space. but that's just me#< previous tags
1K notes
¡
View notes
Text
Say What You Wanna Say
Summary: Y/N is incredibly nervous to tell her dad she's Bi. How will he react?
Pairings: Teen!Reader x Dean (Non romantic pairing)
Warnings: None. Some angst. Mostly fluff. Coming out. Bisexual reader. Papa!dean.
Word Count: 1,212
A/N: About a week ago I received this anonymous ask for a fic about Dean's daughter telling him she's Bi. I was happy to write it, but warned the lovely anon that it might take a while for inspiration to hit as my muses have been off lately and not playing nice.
Then this morning I got this response from them, and it absolutely charged my brain for this fic and it just came pouring out. More proof that #kind words fuel authors.
On a slightly separate note, I just wanna thank everyone who's been so kind to me regarding my creativity stall and mental health hiccups. All your words (whether in the form of well-wishes or kind comments on fics!) have made a difference, and they are so very appreciated.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fluffy fic. To the lovely anon who requested this - I hope it's what you were looking for. I went with a teen reader around 17 or 18 (she mentions choosing a college) just because it felt right for me in the story. But feel free to age her up or down as you'd like. Thanks for jump-starting my creative juices. (Sorry I said juices.)
Dean One Shots || Dean Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists
Y/N walked into the library to see her dad bent over a massive, old, leatherbound book. At least, she hoped it was leather. You never could tell with books in the bunker. One time when she was six sheâd managed to sneak her way into the shelves in Room 7B and picked up a harmless looking book. Turned out to be a cursed book bound in dragonskin and she'd exhaled flames for a full day before her Auntie Rowena had gotten there to undo the curse.
She never went wandering through the shelves again.
But the book her dad was reading seemed innocuous enough, even though it had him scowling darkly at whatever he was reading. She couldnât tell if he was angry, annoyed, or just concentrating. That scowl could mean a few things. The problem was, the conversation she had planned sort of called for him to be in a decent mood.
She considered turning around and coming back when she had a better read on his frame of mind, but just then Deanâs hunter senses kicked in and he looked up and caught her standing in the doorway.
She waved a little lamely. âHey Dad.â
He grunted at her and went back to scowling at the book.Â
She took a few steps into the library. âSomething in there thatâs bothering you?â
Dean shook his head. âNo, itâs just pissing me off cause itâs not helping me figure outâŚâ He trailed off and took another, closer, look at a sentence, skimming his finger along the page before shaking his head again and slamming the book closed.Â
âWhatever, piece of shit.â He said, rubbing a hand down his face and then looking at Y/N. âWhatâs up kid?â
But Y/N was convinced now wasnât a good time and she just waved at him dismissively. âNo, nothing important. Youâre obviously busy. We can talk later.âÂ
She turned to leave, but froze in the doorway when her dadâs deep voice called out to her.
âHey! Nope. Stop. Turn.â
Y/N slowly turned back to face him to see heâd leaned back in his chair slightly and folded his arms over his chest. He lifted one hand to point at the chair beside him, turning slightly towards it.
âSit. Talk.â
Y/N opened her mouth to once again tell him theyâd talk later, but his raised eyebrow brooked no argument and told her she wasnât getting away without talking to him. She contemplated making up something else to talk to him about. Something that wasnât as likely to send him into a tailspin, but it wouldnât work. Her dad saw through her lies way too easily.Â
Nope. This was happening.
She walked over slowly to sit down beside him, tucking her feet up under her on the chair and twisting her hands in her lap. When she hesitated to speak, Dean unfolded his arms and leaned forward slightly.
âTalk to me, kiddo. Whatâs going on?â
Y/N shrugged. God, I donât know how to start this conversation, she thought.
But she could see her dadâs scowl turning to worry in his bright green eyes which made her feel guilty so she smiled at him. It didnât make the worry leave his gaze, but he offered a small smile back.
âAre you okay, baby? Did something happen at school? Did someone do something? Do I need to kick the shit out of someone?â
Y/N chuckled and shook her head. âNo, Dad. Schoolâs good. Itâs fine.â
Dean nodded. âOkay, are youâŚare you changing your mind about going to Kansas State? Cause we talked about this, and I thought we-â
Y/N cut him off, shaking her head and waving her hands back and forth. âNo, no, nothing like that. Itâs notâŚitâs nothing with school. Look, justâŚâ She cleared her throat. âLet me just try to say it, okay?â
Deanâs eyebrows settled back into a frown, the little double line of worry staying etched between them. He shrugged. âOkay, baby.â
His casual use of that endearment brought a dampness to her eyes. God, I hope Iâm still his baby when this is done. She thought.
She took a deep breath. âSo, Iâve been wanting to talk to you about this for a while now, a couple of months anyway, but Iâve justâŚI didnât really know how to bring it up. I mean, I think, itâs actually something Iâve wanted to talk about for a couple of years, but I just kept denying it. But I canât anymore, I canât just pretend, and I donât wanna andâŚâ
She trailed off slightly, looking up at her dad and seeing only confusion and concern in his eyes. She exhaled the words out quickly.
âIâm bisexual.â
She watched understanding erupt in her dadâs expression as his eyes widened and his mouth slackened. He stared at her, just blinking for a few seconds and then he nodded slowly.
âWow. ThatâsâŚthat is not what I was expecting to hear.â
Y/N swallowed over and over, nervousness making her stomach ache. She was ready for the barrage of questions and possible challenges that were bound to come her way.
So, she was slightly thrown when he took a deep breath and spoke one word.
âOkay.â He said with one corner of his mouth lifted.
It was her turn to frown. âOkay?
His half smile turned into a full one. âYeah, okay.â
âWhat does that mean?â Y/N asked with confusion.
Dean chuckled. âIt means what it always means, kiddo.â
âSo, okayâŚlike, youâre fine with this? You donât haveâŚI donât know, questions or arguments. This doesnât bother you? I was expecting a bit of caveman in your response, to be honest. I mean, it doesnât make you feel weird, or likeâŚI donât knowâŚbug you?â
Dean pushed out his lips and raised his shoulders in a shrug. âHey kid, Iâm Gen-X, nothing bugs us.âÂ
Y/N scoffed and he laughed and conceded. âNo, I donât know, maybe if youâd told me twenty years ago, I wouldnât have known what to do. Or it might have felt weird to me, or made me uncomfortable or awkward or something. But I learned a long time ago to let people be who they are, and I especially want you to be just exactly who you are. Youâre an incredible kid, which means every part of you is incredible.â
He leaned forward and cupped her cheek. âSeriously, baby. Iâm really glad you told me, and if youâre happy, Iâm happy.â He kissed her forehead and she threw her arms around his neck and held on for dear life, tears of relief and happiness flowing.Â
âThank you, Daddy.â She whispered.
When she pulled away, he held the back of her head in his big palm, the way he had when she was little. âLove you, kid.â He said gruffly.
âI love you too, Dad.âÂ
His eyes were a little watery as he sat back in his chair and cleared his throat. âAnd, you know, if you end up dating a chick, or marrying her, thatâs one less asshole I have to punch in the jaw as a warning not to mess with you.â
Y/N rolled her eyes and chuckled. âThatâs very progressive, Dad.â
Dean smiled brightly. âWhat? You gotta allow me a little bit of caveman.â
@lyarr24 @lacilou @deans-spinster-witch @globetrotter28 @suckitands33
@alwaystiredandconfused @jzackles @jackles010378 @impala67rollingthroughtown @krazykelly
@candy-coated-misery0731 @envyaurora95 @spnwoman @deans-baby-momma @luvr4miya
@arcannaa @viviwatchestv @winharry @ladysparkles78 @kr804573
@whimsyfinny @roonthelittlespoon920 @slamminmine @zepskies @safiyas-world
@aylacavebear @kazsrm67 @slut-for-evans-stan @sexyvixen7 @nancymcl
@hobby27 @waywardcheshire @livya99 @k-slla @leigh70
@eevvvaa @kickingitwithkirk @foxyjwls007 @roseblue373 @mishkatelwarriorgoddess
@avanatural @mrsjenniferwinchester @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @deangirl96 @stoneyggirl2
@fanfic-n-tabulous @traiitorjoe @lastcallatrockysbar @b3autyfuld1sast3r
#dean x reader#dean x teen!reader#dad!dean#dean winchester fluff#dean winchester#dean winchester one shot#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fanfic#coming out#teen reader#fic request
26 notes
¡
View notes
Text
The girls (the emotions in my brain) are fightinggg
#sweetmountainseeds#cupcakeycrisis#Wow I sure love it when I fucking hate myself and all the other feelings can do if make sure I don't hurt myself#Whatever. At least it means some sense is there#Bitch should be grateful it's kept her alive for so long. or not.#Do I hate myself? Do I know it's a small mistake and that I'm beating myself up about this because of my upbringing?#Do I know it's really not a big deal in the grand scale of things or even the small scale of things because this problem is fixable?#Or do I still fucking hate myself because I shouldn't have made the mistake in the first place I should've been better why try at all if you#'re just gonna fail maybe I'm just bad what if people grow annoyed with me this isn't even the first time (It's the second omg stfu) I'm lat#rant#vent
2 notes
¡
View notes
Text
I guess I find the shipping discourse a little funny because fandoms are gonna create ships regardless of the subject matter. I think really heavy, depressing media creates a need for people to see human connection. Itâs like a way to cope, you know? More importantly and specific to this game (Mouthwashing), I also find it a little funny just because the devs themselves seem to be leaning towards ~one~ âshipâ by retweeting artwork that depicts them as pretty close and protective. They even did an edit of them on that Florence Pugh and that one white guy romance movie with a âwhat could have beenâ caption. Sooo tldr the ship drama is kind of dumb. Please block and move on cause the discourse is taking up space on my feed when Iâm trying to look for more art of Daisuke lmao
#also disclaimer I donât ship anything in this game because it makes me too depressed hahaha#I guesssssss you could say I leave towards Anya and Curly but thatâs just because theyâre my favs#plus I got a gen vibe that they liked each other so I kind of just assumed but whatever#I like that they find comfort in each other more than anything (at least in my head post crash)#if that makes sense? so donât come for me lol cause some of yall are mean#I know he failed her so so so so badly but thatâs kind of what makes their comfort and care for one another interesting you know?#idk how to explain it#itâs like the one sweet thing that continues throughout the narrative all the way to Anyaâs suicide#where she locks them in together to keep them both safe from Jimmy#Iâm high so pls excuse me as I make no sense actually#this is about#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#people who ship Jimmy x curly are another breed though lmaoooo yall are on something stronger than anyone elseđđđ
74 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Once the doors were shut and the ear piece off, only then did Flint continue their conversation. Because he needed answers and given the interaction between Jack and the other two agents, and his own uncertainty surrounding Charles and the situation, he had a feeling these answers were best given in private. But the question was: would Jack trust him? Maybe he would since he kicked the other two agents out of the room as well as the look of utter confusion and suspicion on his face at everything Jack was saying. A look that returned when Jack confirmed that some shady shit was happening, but more so when he mentioned being able to help Charles. "Me? What makes you think I can help him?" He asked, keeping his voice low even though the room was sound proofed. He still wanted to be careful. "My mission is to find the bioweapon that could wipe out nearly the entire population, as well as the men behind it. That's Vane and Lowe." At least that's what he was told, but there was doubt in his voice when saying those words, as though not so sure about it himself. It's what he was told, but not necessarily what he fully believed.
Flint walked over to the table that had a box of tissues on it and brought it over to Jack to use on his face. "A scientist... do you mean Lowe? And was the bioweapon involved in this back alley deal?" There was so much new information coming to light that was making that uneasy feeling within him make sense, as well as the secrecy behind this mission. How he wasn't told every single detail, or rather he was made to believe that he had been. "Hold on, by his own people do you mean MI6?" He asked, just wanting clarification. Because he'd been told Charles Vane betrayed them, though it made sense he'd be told that if something else actually happened, but... would M -- would Izzy -- truly lie to him? And Bonnet? He was a bad liar with a damn good heart so it was hard to imagine Stede being part of whatever the fuck was going on, but then again, he came into it sometime after Vane left MI6. "He's involved with the bioweapon, Rackham. How the fuck is he not the right man? If not him, then obviously Lowe, but he's working with him, is he not?" There was a knock at the door and Flint quickly snuck over to lock it. "So, what, Vane never betrayed MI6? Is that what you're saying?" Another knock at the door, followed by voices asking what was going on.
"One second!" He called out, unsure if they could even hear him yelling. "He's trying to stop Lowe?" He asked directly, trying to get his questions out quickly in hopes to get quick answers. "Why should I believe you? Why should I trust you or Vane?"
The knocking turned into banging followed by threats to break open the door.
Oh he should be very afraid of Anne Bonny. Jack had the brains but she was the muscle. It didnât mean he didnât struggle against the men that had him though, and Anne was furious. Her nose was dripping with blood, and it took four men to subdue her. She snarled. â Donât you touch him! Jack, just do as he says! â She spit blood out onto one of the agentâs shoes.
Jack grumbled. â I told Chaz we shouldâve stocked more boys. Men like you like them. â ow!! â He was thrown down into the chair in his main office, and any sound of him hurting sent Anne to her feet, scuffling again. But the criminal laughed, his bloodied face coated in a shit eating grin. â He was right too. You came right into our little rouse. â
39 notes
¡
View notes
Text
oh boy !! ! ! ! !!! ! thANK y0u all for the kind words on my last art posts. you all get it and i was/still am so happy about it
as promised, here's some close-ups of the comic for image quality's sake, and other screenshots i rescued from the community whiteboard (and something else)
first up another sketch of mystery gender-ambiguous being. (please send me more name ideas for them if you got one- i like to hear em! (reminder it's the side character that appeared for <10 seconds in AvM Ep. 30))
a few fav scenes
emotional support cwab
they weren't meant for this purpose exactly, but i do have countless "fluffy sticks" loose in my notes and homework sheets from the school years.
papery critter.
even when i wasn't confident in fur or feathers, they helped me practice posing and create some satisfying gradients/flowing poses. (im a sucker for good tail poses) (oh yay! i found a good pic...)
and finally, little sneak peak for you for reading so far ;3
i realized that whiteboardfox is pretty great for my working needs. simple and to the point and all. feels nice with the mouse and the tablet.
so i started hashing out a big project idea just to see if it holds up and
[
several hours later ...
]
oh
oh man
it's a little bigger than i expected
<next>
#--/ art#alan becker#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#Minecraft bed#ava the dark lord#ava the chosen one#me when the project that obviously wasn't going to be done in one night isn't done in one night: D: !?!?!?!?#kudos to whoever routed the Speedrun actual short because that one is so fun and clean and savvy#clever made up time-savers? includes orange's TNT shield-jump?? nonlethal dragon dispatch??? sweet#ithink you can see where i tried to head with this#turns out that turning up the complexity 98 notches higher makes things trickier to parse hmmmmmm?#in fact i might need some help with this one ;>v>' like a lot.#i had a bit of a story and route set up already i just... wanted to make sure everything was at least kinda there...................#we'll see#the pie joke. i was trying to categorize which foodstuffs chosen should be able to make on the fly. with their flame hands.#ex. cooking meats makes sense because flint and steel works for the same purpose (you can kill a burning animal to get cooked meats)#but baking bread or drying kelp seems way more involved or whatever -> needs a proper furnace environment#HOWEVER... i noticed that Steve can just summon pumpkin pies from his bare hands if he wants to without even a workbench. so. sure! lol.#this is scraping the surface of the minutiae i want to consider#(ALSO KUDOS to everyone who RUNS/works on all-advancements. of course. riding on your shoulders here)#final joke is that chosen didn't know how crazy this undertaking would be to learn#but dark is very literally programmable. so you could maybe just plug some TAS instructions into him and off he goes#or even more open-ended than that just give him the list of advancements + stipulations + the wiki and similar result#it'd get done but. i dont think he'd find that fun at all. prefers to write his own instructions if you see what i mean#i might be forgetting some context. it is rather late you see. please ask me questions about this! ;P#tco aa
70 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Moeblob: (tries to establish a fish theme. likes to be called salmon.) FEH: Broccoli alts only, no negotiations.
(this is for you Leo.... I'm sorry........... you don't deserve it)
#bro idk how to tag joke art of me lmao im not an oc but whatever#thank you upcoming banner for ..... whatever the heck that was i guess#its almost 2am and i need to be sleeping but i had to draw this stupid thing#i love fish so much and i love being called salmon online and my main ff character is named tuna king but#id get broccoli alts because i mentioned im stressed out that i didnt know broccoli had a strong scent#and i steamed some broccoli and then my sister got home hours later and said oh you made broccoli and im like yeah but hey how did you know#and she opens the window as she says it still smells like it#H U H and then i lock myself in for broccoli alts for the rest of my life#that did actually happen lmao im sorry i dont have a sense of smell my b#i mean at least people comment on fishy smells being p strong so i can contextually know if a comment is made on a fish thats normal#but getting told broccoli smells THAT STRONG was like im .... whatst..... since when...... helpst.....
42 notes
¡
View notes
Text
finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
22 notes
¡
View notes
Text
"Pssh, whatever," Leo scoffed playfully when Arjun started giving him a hard time. "My ego would have to get pretty big before I needed help carrying it. I mean, look at me." At this, Leo raised his free arm and flexed before curving it back downward to flex his chest and abs as well, but it was all for show because then he began to laugh. Leo wasn't vain - well, except for maybe his hair - and he actually didn't have that big of an ego at all. He was very aware of his flaws. But with Arjun, Leo was a different person, one who saw all the good things, and he thought that that was probably because he was seeing himself through Arjun's eyes. Still laughing, Leo looked over at Arjun, wanting to see his reaction to the little show he had just put on; making Arjun laugh was one of his favorite things. "Yes, majestic," Leo confirmed. "That doesn't just mean like royalty. To me, it's kind of like...just having a fuck ton of grace, dignity, poise...beauty. You know, that sort of thing." His face felt just the slightest bit hot at his comment; Leo was always saying things like this to Arjun, and he often had this reaction because it just was not like him at all, not with other people at least.
Leo thought it was difficult for Arjun to talk about his mother, so he didn't ask about her; he knew his friend would share with him what he wanted to. So it was always nice when Arjun talked about her. That was something else Leo and Arjun shared: they had both lost their mothers, and nothing had been the same since. This tragedy was one of the things that connected them. "I understand why she said that," Leo told Arjun. "She was proud of you, and I get it. I'm proud of you too." He knew how much Arjun struggled sometimes, how much he had gone through, yet he just kept going. Leo on the other hand, he was a total mess. "My mother wouldn't be proud of me," he said softly, a thought he'd never said aloud before. But Leo was thinking about her a lot today; he thought he probably always would on his birthday.
As the two of them danced, Leo thought about their first meeting, smiling at what Arjun said. "Guys do that to you a lot, don't they?" he asked, shaking his head; those guys didn't know what they were missing out on. "Their loss," he added. Laughing, he told Arjun, "But you know, at the very beginning I thought kind of the same thing. I'd let you talk, take you back to my place, and then that would be that. But then I actually listened to you, and...well, here we are, like you said." Leo wasn't sure what it had been about Arjun exactly that had made him give the guy a chance, but he was glad that he had. He'd gotten a best friend out of it.
Then Leo laughed even more when he heard Arjun's confession - that was so like his friend, very much something he would do. "So you're telling me you broke the law and entered my home without permission?" he asked, but Leo was smiling as he said this; obviously he wasn't mad. More seriously, Leo reassured Arjun, "It's okay, yeah. I wouldn't have told you where I hide my spare key if it wasn't." When he had told Arjun where they key was, Leo had known full well that his friend at some point would use it. "Plus I'm getting a birthday surprise out of it, so how could I be angry about that?"
Listening to Arjun recall birthdays past, Leo realized another thing they had in common. They'd been so isolated from their peers in their youth, though there had been well-intentioned reasons for both of them. However, that didn't take away the sense of loss they felt because of it. "The last time I had a birthday party was my seventh birthday," Leo replied. "Sometimes if I had a friend in one of the new places we'd moved to, my mom might take us to the movies or something, but usually it was just the two of us." She'd done her best to make his birthdays special though, and Leo felt a sudden wave of sorrow. But it was hard to stay sad when he had his best friend here. "I hope you know that your next birthday is going to be fucking epic," Leo told Arjun with a wide grin on his face.
Though they were still dancing, Leo said, "Arjun...I kind of want to go see my birthday surprise now. You should have known it would be all I could think about." Grinning playfully and feeling a little like a child, Leo asked, "Can we go see it? Please?" He gave Arjun his best puppy dog eyes as he asked this.
Arjun laughed at Leoâs comment about âKing Leonidasâ going to his head, nudging his friend as they swayed to the beat. âYouâre right. If your ego grows any bigger, Iâll have to call in backup to help carry it around,â he joked. But the teasing melted into something warmer when Leo called him majestic, the weight of the words settling over him with an unexpected fondness. Thankfully, the Spock ears covered most of his ears and hid how they turned red.
âMajestic, huh? Youâre the first person to ever call me that,â he admitted with a grin, his eyes fixed on Leo. âMy mother would say Chand - you are my greatest success.â I don't know what I did to be a success -- but there you have it." Leo had a way of grounding him, making him feel like he could take care of the woman he missed. It was like Leoâs acceptance allowed Arjun to breathe easier, like he could let down walls he didnât even realize he had up.
As they danced, Arjun couldnât help but notice how natural this felt, Leoâs arms steady around him, a comforting anchor in the noisy, crowded venue. He laughed softly as they moved, glancing up with a playful glint in his eyes. âIf âyour majestyâ is going to your head, then itâs definitely worth it. A little confidence never hurt anyone.â
But as Leo admitted what heâd first thought when they met, Arjun snorted. âI thought maybe youâd be one of those guys whoâd listen to my stories for an hour, humor me, and then Iâd never see you again,â he said, his smile lingering as he recalled their first encounter. âBut here we are.â He knew Leo enjoyed the intimacy of physical touch and connection; he didn't begrudge him that -- he did wonder though why Leo had thought of him the first time they met.
Dancing with Leo felt like the best way to celebrate his friendâs birthdayâall right, really it would be the cake that he had left in Leo's fridge and hot chocolate but this was also very good. To have the cake, he'd have to admit it was there in the first place.
As they swayed to the music, Arjun finally admitted, âYou know, thereâs actually more waiting for you back at your place. Just a few thingsâI, uh, may have let myself in and decorated a little. Nothing big.â He chuckled, scratching his neck in a bashful gesture. âHope thatâs okay.â
Admitting that much felt easy with Leo, like heâd finally found someone who wouldnât mind his quirks or small surprises. He wasnât sure why, but something about celebrating Leoâs birthday had felt like it was something he important he wanted to do.
âThis is all new for me. I never celebrated birthdays with friends growing up. My mom was amazing, and sheâd fill the house with philosophers, scientists, mathematicians, even the occasional guru⌠anyone with a brilliant mind, but never kids my own age.â He smiled, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes. âI learned a lot, but I always kind of wondered what itâd be like to have⌠well, a night like this, with people who actually felt like friends.
He gave Leoâs waist a playful squeeze, the honesty leaving him feeling a little overwhelmed. âSo⌠I might have gone overboard.â
17 notes
¡
View notes
Text
still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
17 notes
¡
View notes
Text
the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad đ
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
4 notes
¡
View notes
Text
Replying to this here so it doesn't get lost in the other person's post but aw man I hope it turns up for you someday. ;w; I probs woulda loved to see that drawing of ST1X regardless of how confident you felt about it but I understand, I often got nervous drawing fanart for other people too. Also it's sad to lose old art, I've lost a ton of notebook drawings and loose leaf printer paper art from my late teens/early 20s because 1) I moved around a lot in my life so a lotta stuff got shuffled around and 2) there's SO MUCH STUFF I never posted. OCs that I maybe drew once or twice, beta versions of what would eventually become a few of the characters I currently have, one-off drawings I made on a whim or because I was bored in class...
I think it was because at the time, back on dA, it got to the point where there were so many eyes on my work that I got scared if people would like something or not, or if a piece was 'finished-looking' enough, and it was kinda paralyzing... so there were years where I would post maybe a fraction of what I drew. x_x In hindsight I was deffo overthinking it, but that's hindsight for ya.
I know some of it's still around somewhere, probably in an old banker box in storage, but other drawings got destroyed for sure because I carried them around in a notebook too much and the graphite smudged off from the paper rubbing together. It's sad to think about, but at least that was only a small number of drawings before I made an effort to clean out my notebooks of loose paper more often. .w.
I'm a lot more careful with my drawings now and make backups of backups (my webcomic is backed up in at least 5 different ways right now!) but idk... maybe if I can dig up some of my old paper drawings one day I'll post 'em or something, might be fun.
#HECC i rambled again sorry XD#but also yeah...#trying to preserve stuff is hard .w.#some stuff is just always gonna be lost or destroyed over time#but at least the memories are still there if nothing else#also man it's still wild to me whenever someone mentions they followed me from dA#like it makes sense bc that's when i was at my peak popularity-wise or whatevs but that was so long ago!! Aaaaaa!!#thank you for sticking around this long?! I dunno how you do it honestly since my art and hyperfixations are all over the place#but it means a lot djkgfh ;w;#*flops face down on the floor and gives a thumbs up god i feel old*
27 notes
¡
View notes
Text
"Right," Alfons replied slowly, managing to do a surprisingly convincing job of keeping the doubt from creeping into his voice. He had essentially agreed to help figure out how to create a portal, after all, so he he may as well just go along with it now. "We need to figure out where we're really going with this before investing too deeply into one theory." Even though that starting point looked a bit daunting, if they were going to basically start from scratch, it at least gave Alfons the opportunity a chance to catch up with his roommate. Whatever that would mean in terms of finding a working theory in the first place.
A flicker of interest flashed in blue eyes at Ed's offer. "You have coffee?" Maybe Ed had had it for a while and Alfons had been out of the house too much to notice, but it had been a long time since he'd had the luxury of drinking any himself. He normally just stuck to tea since he found it more soothing on his throat and lungs, anyway, but if they were going to have a late night, that extra caffeine boost did have its appeal.
Unfortunately, however, Ed was right that Alfons had no concept of the trust an alchemist decoding their notes for someone implied. Considering equivalent exchange was essentially the law of conservation of mass, that was a concept he would be able to grasp intuitively, but the rest of the laws and customs regarding alchemy would require a more in-depth explanation.
"We can start there," he agreed despite having very little concept of what arrays really were. "Will those need to be translated, too? I think I remember you saying those were part of the basics of alchemy, so it would make sense to start from the beginning." For whatever good that would actually do them. It still made very little sense to Alfons, but with no other starting point thus far, it might at least help a little to have more background on where Ed was coming from on this.
He glanced over his shoulder towards Ed's room then turned back with a curious smile. If nothing else, it would be an interesting night. "It's alright. I can put the water on while you get your notes. Which cabinet do you keep the coffee in?"
Then a sudden thought occurred to him. "Wait, one other thing." And he stepped away toward his work bag, crouching down in front of it and rummaging through for a small bit of folded paper with something inside. He returned to Ed's side, his smile widening a little, as he held out the package and unfolded the paper on top, revealing two small squares of chocolate. "Our sponsors brought these in for us as a thank you for our hard work, but they said I could take a second one to bring back to you. I was going to find some sort of occasion to bring them out, but I think starting on a sort of project together again counts, right?"
Ed truly didn't mind getting the tea for Alfons, but he knew better than to argue about it so he would leave it at. "Okay, if you insist," he said with a smile. He was actually looking forward to picking out some tea now. He hoped Alfons liked whatever he got him. It occurred to him that he had never gotten Alfons anything before, and that thought didn't set well with him. Ed wondered how Alfons would react if he did get him a gift other than tea. He needed to mull over that idea more, later when he was alone.
"Yeah, right now I'm not sure what I need since I haven't figured out how to open a portal to my world up. Maybe if I had enough information for it, I could figure something out." He knew that wouldn't be what Alfons wanted to hear but given that he agreed to help out, Ed didn't see a way to avoid bringing it up. At least now maybe he would be able to convince Alfons he was telling the truth. If they were going to work closely together on this project, he hoped he'd have a chance to do just that. He didn't like the idea of Alfons either believing he was lying or even worse, that he was delusional.
"Alright, then I'll show you notes if you wanna take a look at them." Ed already knew he would need to translate them, and he was kicking himself now for not thinking about that in the first place, but he hadn't though he'd be getting help with his research, and writing in Amestrian was a lot easier for him than writing his notes in German. He also didn't like the idea of their place being searched and someone finding his notes and being able to see what was in them. There was always the possibility, though he knew Alfons' job had kept that from happening so far.
"Why don't i start some tea or coffee for us and we can look them over. I can at least explain the alchemic arrays to you tonight if you're interested in learning more about them." Ed was proud of his work and while some of it was coded in Amestrian, he'd be willing to explain it to Alfons. Ed knew what they discussed would be kept between them. The significance of this would likely be lost on Alfons since he didn't realize how most Alchemists kept their works encoded so that other people wouldn't steal their ideas.
Something like that hardly mattered in this world considering that alchemy didn't exist here. That made Ed feel a little sad. This world could benefit from alchemy in so many ways, though considering their was a world war happening, maybe it was for the best people couldn't use alchemy to hurt others. His world had that problem given the Ishvalan war. Even still, he liked the idea that alchemy was for the people and its use was originally intended for good and not evil.
"I think if we set up at the kitchen table that would be best." He had some lose papers of arrays that he could lay out on the table. "I have a lot of notes, but we don't have to go through it all tonight. Maybe we can start with the basics and go from there and see what we're up for tonight." He didn't want Alfons to feel like he was in a hurry. He had waited this long so waiting a bit longer to figure it out wouldn't hurt. "Let me get something started for us to drink. Did you want me to make us some tea or coffee? Then I'll grab all of my notes for us to look over."
15 notes
¡
View notes
Text
i think im gonna take a break from my fic to write my original work instead
#something something lack of engagement makes it discouraging for all artists and writers something something#i think the good thing about how i finished writing 'the stories we tell' before i even started posting a single chapter#is that the writing process was fun in the sense that i did it completely for me#there was no external pressure to write faster or try to write more 'interesting' chapters#whatever i wrote i wrote it for the sake of the story. because i wanted to#but posting a WIP and writing chapter by chapter? at least for me i def feel some pressure to please#and when i dont get much of a response on each update it's kinda disheartening#by response i mean people engaging with the actual like. contents. the lines i wrote. idk.#IGNORE ME IM BEING WHINY AND UNGRATEFUL#i genuinely love all my readers and commenters and everyone following along with the story#i just get too lost in my head and feelings sometimes#which is why i think its necessary for me to take a break and take my mind off it by writing my own original stuff for a while#at least for a few days#shut up haydar#on writing.log
9 notes
¡
View notes
Text
household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
6 notes
¡
View notes
Text
pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I donât really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah
con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines
#itâs getting better but only now that itâs like. 6pm#as weird as it sounds part of why this sucks is that I volunteered to come into work today cause thereâs a concert going on nearby which#usually means weâre at least somewhat busy -> make better tips#and I couldnât go in because well. you know#Iâve been sick and dying in bed all day unable to move or eat or anything#let alone take the bus and go to work#but. as much as I wish I didnât go this overboard I donât totally regret last night cause.#yeah. potential thing going on with cute coworker guy. OH and potential job opportunity at my favorite bar in town#apparently said coworker Also has a job at the bar in addition to where we both work and the bar is hiring barbacks at entry-level#so I have someone to vouch for me and the bartender we were talking to seemed to really want me to apply too#one thing thatâs kinda funny to me about all this is that the first two places (a bar then a club) we were at felt really mid because they#were packed with way too many straight people (at a gay bar and a gay club)#but the bar we ended up at (where we ALWAYS end up at. it is the oasis. it is the only thing I can rely on) felt. like. not overwhelmingly#straight? at all? I mean part of itâs just luck in a way with just who happened to be there and all that but itâs also that the staff seem#pretty significantly populated with queer ppl#I complained to the bartender about how the club we were at (one of the biggest gay clubs in the city- if not The biggest) just felt kinda#meh because yeah maybe there were some guys dancing in jockstraps and whatever but the crowd itself like. did not feel largely queer#or at least didnât have the spirit Iâd hope for in a queer space if that makes sense. felt very conventional. not enough wild outfits and#makeup and gender fuckery and so on#and the bartender was like dude I KNOW right? I went off outside there once about the invasion of cishets when this space isnât FOR them#and so on and so forth. and god that was So real.#so the experience at my beloved bar last night was like. 1) guy comes up behind me just to order a drink but i was saving a seat for my#friend who was in the bathroom and mentioned that in case he was looking to take the seat. chatted a little. ended with him pointing out#that a guy nearby was trying to holla at me.#2) I look over and yes. the dj is. in fact. looking directly at me and mouthing the lyrics to whatever song was playing pointed my way.#it was pretty sweet honestly I think it was partly cause I looked like I was shy and alone#3) whatever gay shit was going on with my coworker and i. amusingly he seems to get more flamboyant when he drinks just like i do.#im not 100% sure what his sexuality is but i Am 100% sure it is Not straight. but yeah. if it hadnât been so close to closing time ive been#hardcore wondering where that wouldâve gone. maybe its for the best that i had to go when i did cause i was pretty drunk and who knows when#I couldâve hit the amount of drunk it takes to like outright say hey just so you know iâd suck your dick right now if you wanted
2 notes
¡
View notes