#World Steak Challenge

[innerfare]

Random Shanks Headcanons 

Summary: A random collection of Shanks headcanons

CW: None // SFW

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Has a fake arm that he uses for gags. Only he and Yasopp find it funny. Beckman once tossed the arm overboard after Shanks ‘lost’ the arm in a pot of Lucky Roux’s stew, only for Shanks to enter the mess hall the next morning with another attached to his body. 

Can do magic tricks, especially good with coins and cards. A very skilled sleight of hand artist. Also not above using these tricks to cheat while playing cards. (Inspired by the coin game w/ Luffy flashback). Cheating is the only way he can beat Beckman, who’s by far the best player on the crew. But he doesn’t even cheat to win, he just likes the thrill of getting away with it; also enjoys the thrill of getting caught. There was a rabbit loose aboard the Red Force for a solid month after the captain tried to learn how to pull it out of a hat.

The best beer pong player in the New World, probably the entire world. Would challenge all of his enemies to a game of beer pong to settle their disputes if he thought they would respect the results of the game. Good at drinking games in general (has a little too much experience).

Is an infamous gossip. If a member of the crew wants word to get out about something, they just mention it to their captain. 

Enjoys playing matchmaker. Always acts as a wingman for his crew when there’s a pretty bar maid. The only one he never tried to fix up with one of his crew mates was his darling Makino. 

Are soap operas a thing in the One Piece universe? Because if so, he has a favorite that he never misses an episode of (fights hardest on Thursdays so he can be home in time to catch the latest episode of Search for One Piece, a pirate drama based loosely on Roger’s life. He particularly enjoys the harlequin character). 

Loves meddling in any drama that comes up aboard the ship. Sometimes even starts drama just for entertainment, like the time he told Lucky Roux that he saw Limejuice sneaking steaks from the freezer, or when he robbed Beckman blind and left traces of a turkey leg at the scene of the crime. 

Thinks childish pranks are the funniest thing in the world. Pranks prospective crew members to see how they respond; screens them based on whether they find his jokes funny. Beckman insists this is not the best way to do things but Shanks persists. But Shanks isn't just being childish. He's making sure everyone who joins his crew has a good nature as that is, in his opinion, the most important thing. If you can't trust your crew, you're dead in the water.

Was definitely posing when the government snapped the photo for his wanted poster but pretends it was completely candid. Has a habit of comparing his wanted poster to the posters of his enemies.

He also uses his wanted poster to fish for compliments, especially from his crew. “That’s a pretty good picture, isn’t it?” “I don’t look half bad in that, do I?” “The real reason the marines are hunting me- the sight of my wanted poster makes their wives swoon.”  

Refers to himself as, “that handsome devil.” 

Smells like body odor and weed, but in a Matthew McConaughey kind of way (that is to say, it works for him). 

Animals and babies always like him. He insists the trick is to act uninterested. 

He is genuinely good-natured, but he definitely uses his sense of humor to disguise how terrifying he truly is. Is a pro at lulling people into a false sense of security. Definitely slouches on purpose to seem less intimidating.

Secretly paid off Luffy's "treasure tab" at Makino's bar. Didn't do it just to be kind to the poor kid but actually because he believed Luffy when he said he'd pay it back in full and did it to annoy Luffy a decade or two down the line. (When Luffy finally goes back to pay Makino and she informs him Shanks already did, Luffy blows a gasket.)

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Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[pimosworld]

Secret Springs Resort

Pairing-Joel Miller x f!plus size reader

CW-18+, MDNI, Angst,hurt/comfort, mentions of body insecurity, mentions of food insecurity, mentions of smut, Joel being so supportive, reader hiding her feelings at first but we always end with fluffiness. Dream vacation Joel vibes.

WC-1.2k

A/N- I decided to go with a different direction for this weeks theme at the Resort for the Secret springs challenge by our mayor @secretelephanttattoo. I love this idea, it was so fun to write despite the angst, it’s just in my nature to make you feel a little.

[Series Masterlist][Joel Miller Masterlist]

Not beta read

Indulgence

If you thought he didn’t notice the first night then you had seriously underestimated the man that was Joel Miller. 

  The man that had turned your world upside down the moment he stepped foot into your kitchen that he would soon remodel. The kitchen that you got to enjoy for just shy of a year after it was completed before selling your home and moving in with him. The newly remodeled kitchen being the major selling point. The smug look on his face when you got well over the asking price. The look that you so often indulged in wiping off his face when you had him writhing beneath you. This burly, breadth of a man that made you believe in love again. 

  He most certainly noticed on the first night of your vacation. The one you had both worked so hard for. 

  Secret Springs Resort

  An all inclusive beach resort vacation that he had meticulously planned down to the minute. Even the daily naps were planned because he knew how you could get bratty when you were tired. 

  It pained him the way you picked at your food and shuffled it around the plate as if he wouldn’t notice. 

  The way you squint your eyes in fake pleasure to signal that you enjoyed the bite. 

  The look he so often noticed at home during a meal or out to dinner but he so foolishly thought you would be care free while in this oceanic oasis.  

  The second night. 

  When you blamed the sun burn and your headache as to why you couldn’t eat much more than a few bites. The way your eyes watered when he moaned eating his steak and you stared longingly at the buttery garlic noodles that you wanted to dive headfirst into.  

  You said you were too full for dessert and yet Joel knew you better than that. A small sliver of hope when he let you feed him some ice cream, but his hopes quickly squashed when you had one bite and pushed it away. 

  The third day was your day to relax. No excursions planned and the weather far too hot to lay on the beach. Joel opted to lay among the sheets with you for most of the morning. His head resting between your plush thighs as you played with his thick curls. 

  The way it always started out so innocent and yet he could have you falling apart beneath him in minutes. 

  It’s the most relaxed he’s seen you this entire trip, and even if he dies for lack of oxygen he’ll never come up for air if it means seeing you like this. 

  It’s why he opts to spend the entire day taking full advantage of the luxury suite. Finding different ways to bend you over every surface of this room…the balcony, the couch, the bathroom sink. The shower steams until the mirror fogs over. Fucking and laughing until he thinks he may have pulled a muscle. The way you call him an old man in jest because he knows he could outlast you any day. 

  It’s why as he watches you sleep, your soft curves peeking out beneath the rumpled covers as the sun sets over the water he decides you’ll just complete the day inside. A quick call to room service and the woman on the other line doesn’t balk when he nearly orders everything on the menu. All your favorites so there’s no room for argument. In the safety of your private room, away from prying eyes so he can finally put a stop to whatever is holding you back. 

  It’s the smell that first wakes you first. In the quiet comfort of the sheets you get the hint of the savory aroma of fresh baked pizza and garlic bread. Your stomach growling and heart warming at the familiar smells that fill the air. You blink sleepily as your gaze falls on Joel, shirtless with his jeans hung low on his hips as he bustles around the room. Plates and silverware clinking as he sets up a small table on the balcony. 

  He turns with a gentle smile as he hears you rustling in the sheets. “Hey there, sleepyhead. I hope you’re hungry.”  

  Your eyes widen slightly at the sight of the spread. A large pizza with all your favorite toppings. One half with pineapple because Joel thought it was blasphemy. A steaming bowl of pasta with Parmesan cheese and marinara sauce. Golden slices of garlic bread arranged neatly on the side. 

  Your throat constricts with the unexpected sensation of gratitude and anxiety. 

  “You…you didn’t have to do all this.” You murmur, feeling a rush of vulnerability. 

  Joel strides over to you on the bed, draping the silky resort robe around your shoulders. “I know.” He says softly as he places a kiss on your forehead. “But I wanted to darlin’. Ya deserve to enjoy all your favorites without feeling self conscious.” 

  Tears well up in your eyes as you look up at him. Overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness, at the way he surprised you everyday. “Thank you.” You whisper, with a slight tremble. “It means a lot to me.” 

  He didn’t expect you to bend so easily, yet he’s relieved all the same. A sense of pride blooming in his chest as you sit together on the balcony sharing bites of pizza and stories about your past. Things you want for your future, some things he’s heard and some things he’ll pocket for later. 

  He can tell as the meal goes on and you relax that you want to say it. To tell him why you’re this way, but he already knows it’s him. The reason he had to break down so many walls. The man whose name is rarely mentioned in your home because anytime it is Joel wants to find a way to make him a missing person. 

  When he looks at you like you’ve hung the moon and the stars as he twirls the pasta on the plate and holds it out for you, like an olive branch to open up. 

  You start tentatively to explain your past insecurities. How your ex made you feel ashamed for enjoying food. How he always made sure you knew to eat less than him. 

  “I always felt like I had to justify why I ate.” You say quietly as you sip your water. “But you…you make me feel comfortable just being myself.” 

  Joel reached across the table to take your hand, placing a kiss to your palm. “You don’t ever have to justify anything with me baby.” He says earnestly. “I want you to be happy and feel good about yourself. You should cuz you’re fuckin perfect.” 

  You smiled gratefully as he wiped a stray tear from your cheek. You knew with Joel beside you, you could let go of old hurts and embrace moments like this. Where kindness, understanding and a simple meal could say so much more than words could express. 

Comments and reblogs are much appreciated

[hyperlexichypatia]

Prescriptive diet culture, especially (but not exclusively) the sort aimed at losing weight, is ableist and sizeist, with frequent undertones of racism, classism, and sexism. It relies on the premise that all bodies can and should fit into a certain size and a certain range of “health” and ability, that fat and disabled bodies are inherently lesser, and frequently relies on patronizing or limiting the options of poor people for their alleged “own good,” stigmatizing or patronizing the food choices of non-European cultures, and judging women’s and perceived-women’s bodies more harshly than men’s bodies.

In response to this, various fat liberation, body positive, and health-at-every-size movements have arisen to challenge this narrative to varying degrees. One of the alternatives often promoted in these contexts is “intuitive eating,” in which people eat what their bodies crave, whenever they’re hungry, instead of following a prescriptive diet or schedule. This is framed as radical, liberatory rebellion and self-actualization against diet culture.

Intuitive eating is great for some people. However, there are some problems with promoting it as a universal solution.

First of all, “Everyone should eat intuitively” is just as prescriptive as any other prescriptive diet. It still frames food choices as something with a right and a wrong answer. What superficially sounds like “Eat whatever you want” actually becomes “You must eat whatever you want, and examine carefully whether you actually want it, and defend your choices accordingly.”

Secondly, intuitive eating is fundamentally inaccessible to the majority of the world’s population. Perhaps if we lived in a Star Trek universe where we could just command a replicator to create food and have it instantly ready for us, then most, if not all people, could eat intuitively. But in our own world, our food choices are constrained by time, money, and availability, as well as restrictions like allergies and sensitivities.

When I think about what food I want to eat, I have to think about what I already have. What I can afford to buy. What I have the time and energy to prepare. I might “intuit” that I crave a steak, but what I have readily on hand is a bowl of cereal. Intuition won’t help someone with chronic fatigue who can’t stand at a stove for long or chop vegetables, or someone on food stamps who has to stretch their budget, or someone who works long shifts and comes home exhausted, or a parent of three children with food allergies who only feeds themself leftover scraps from feeding them. Who has time and energy to cook a meal from scratch? Who has money to go out to a restaurant? Whose invisible and underpaid labor -- farm workers, grocery workers, restaurant cooks, homemakers -- does this system rely upon?

The third problem with promoting intuitive eating as a universal solution is that many foods are manufactured in such a way as to sensorily mislead the eater about their properties. The idea that “artificial” or “processed” foods are somehow “worse” than “natural” foods -- or that those are meaningful categories -- is ridiculous and baseless. However, it is a fact that many foods are made to mimic the look, taste, smell, and texture of foods they do not actually contain. This makes it harder for eaters to “intuit” a food’s properties by the usual means. Eaters may have to rely on ingredients lists and nutritional information rather than sensory input alone. This is especially true for people who have specific nutritional needs, like allergies or nutrient deficiencies, to either avoid or seek out specific food attributes.

Finally, even if all other obstacles were eliminated, some people are just not good at intuiting their own food needs. People with executive functioning disabilities may forget that they’re hungry, or not recognize their bodies’ hunger signals. Not everyone is naturally good at piloting a meat suit. Food is difficult, and it’s okay to need external reminders to refuel.

Intuitive eating rhetoric can sound suspiciously similar to the common rhetoric of the “natural” “wellness” movement, stemming from the premise that all bodies are born with a natural alignment to a certain standard of “health” and normative ability, and only external factors and individual choices can “corrupt” it. In reality, there are no normative bodies or abilities. Plenty of people are born with food-related disabilities, whether difficulty remembering to eat, anxiety, susceptibility to nutrient deficiency, allergies, diabetes, or all kinds of other conditions. Food is hard. Harder for some people than others. And that’s okay.

There’s nothing wrong with intuitive eating, but it’s not a universal solution to everyone’s food difficulties. We need affordable, accessible food for everyone. We need everyone to have the free time and support they need to perform all activities of daily living. We need living wages for everyone at every part of the food supply chain. We need clearly labeled food ingredients and nutritional values. We need a society where everyone has the resources, time, and support to eat whatever they want, and the information to know what they’re eating. And then, maybe, intuitive eating can be a more attainable goal for people who want it.

We also need a society in which bodily autonomy is respected, and people’s food choices and other health and bodily choices are rightly regarded as no one else’s business. We need widespread recognition that there’s no standard of health or ability that anyone “should” have and no way that anyone “should” eat, and that what matters is ensuring that everyone has equitable access to resources, which each individual can choose how to use, whether that’s eating frozen dinners every day, growing vegetables for fun, eating only purple things, or using a timer to remember when it’s time to eat. But until we achieve that society, “intuitive eating” might as well mean “let them eat cake.”

[constantinerkives]

The Model and the Muse // YJM, one-shot

PAIRINGS: Model! Karina x Non-celeb fem reader WARNINGS: Established relationship, secret relationship - well, not anymore IG, jealousy haha, Karina is FERAL for you in a soft way, territorial Rina, soft ending, I think that's pretty much it A/N: I based this on a prompt submitted to me:

You asked, I shall deliver <3

When you care for someone - love someone, sacrifices are made. 

You just weren't informed that one of those sacrifices would be telling the world that you love her. Enter Karina Yoo, one of the highest-paid models in the European Fashion Houses, mainly Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, and Loius Vuitton. 

She courted you three years ago, she was a rising star, and you were just a junior stylist. And you said yes to becoming her lover a year ago before her agency hired her as a model, and to your amusement and irritation, her 'fans' abhor the concept of dating when it comes to her. They're allergic to that term. But that didn't stop the older woman from sneaking out to see you, sending you gifts even when both of you were busy with Fashion Week. 

So for your safety and hers (not to mention her career), you two decided to keep it a secret until the crowd becomes more forgiving. 

It's challenging - especially when the media and the public are fixated on her.

Do you know what else is challenging? 

Remain composed whenever someone blatantly flirts with her. 

Who can blame them? Your lover is a beautiful woman - beautiful is an understatement. She's like a goddess reincarnated as a human, blessed with elegance, wit, and grace. You thank the universe for blessing you with her, but you pray to the universe to give you patience and not strength whenever someone tries to shoot their shot because if the universe grants you strength; you might jam your powder blush brush into their neck. But there's nothing you can do about it. It was your agreement with her, so you learned to live with it because every time someone tried after the event, Karina would reciprocate, but her words were empty, and you'd share an irritated glance before she excused herself to an isolated room, signaling for you to follow and the next thing you know your back is pressed against any firm surface, and her lips are molding against yours, her perfume will infiltrate your sense of smell and her scent would linger on you for a while before she'd get out of the room looking fresh as if she wasn't ravaging your lips and your neck two minutes ago. 

Even so, you tried to keep your interactions minimum knowing that when you two slip away from the buzz of both the media and the public, Karina Yoo transforms; gone is the practiced persona of Givenchy, YSL, and LV's brand, replaced by a much simpler girl, Yoo Jimin; who loves dinosaurs and cuddling you until both your body temperature becomes unbearable. 

Your ears perked upon hearing the keypad of your rented apartment in Paris beeping. Giddy, a smile breaks past your lips, and you hastily turn off the stove before rushing to the living room. She's home. A soft laugh falls from her lips the moment your body comes in contact with hers. Soon, you feel her lean arms wrap around your figure, flushing you against her front. 

"Oh," You inhale her favorite scent, pressing your nose against the skin of her neck that's exposed by her white, button-down shirt. Top notes of blackberry, releasing an instant burst of juiciness, natural blackcurrant buds, and a fruity, slightly tart scent. Heart notes of bay leaves, and base notes of Cedarwood. "How I've missed you." 

"I miss you too," She whispers, low and husky. Her breath fans your lips as soon as you pull away to hold her delicate face. "How're the rehearsals for the Fashion Week?" 

Jimin closes her eyes and leans into your warmth, "Tiring," She then opens her eyes and peers over your shoulders. "What's for dinner?"

"Steak tartare and onion soup." You answer with a grin and gently massage her jaw. "Go get changed. I'll prepare the dishes." 

"Yes, ma'am." Your lover obeys before pecking your lips, taking her messenger bag, and disappearing into your shared room. You watched her with a fond smile and began preparing the plates. 

In Paris, there are fewer eyes, few are aware, and maybe you hope they won't care. Jimin, being an A-list model, used her privileges and bought an apartment that's private and near the venue for their Fashion Week. With this, she can go home in peace and be with you every day and night. But that doesn't stop you from staying careful, but you're glad for small mercies like this one. 

"I'll be starting the event," She tells you with a gleeful smile while she takes a spoonful of onion soup and hums in delight. "Damn, this tastes good!"

A bemused laugh falls off your lips as your eyes watch her fondly while she recounts the events that happened during her rehearsals. "Oh, don't you know - I'm going to wear Nicolas Chesquière's pieces! Oh, you should have seen them-" 

She stops upon looking up to see you looking at her warmly. Her cheeks subtly turn pink, and she sheepishly puts down her spoon. "Oh, I'm rambling again, aren't I?"

You giggle at her, "No, no," You shake your head sideways. "Keep talking. I like your voice." Your lover giggles in return before sighing heavily, "You'll be there in the event, right? I mean, as our designated stylist?"

"Of course," You reach out for her hand, "Where you go, I go - it's part of the job, Jiminnie." She smiles softly, "Then can you stay after the event?"

"For what?" 

"A party, honey." 

You blink at the older woman, "I - have nothing to wear, Jimin - you know those parties are full of elites and socialites. I'll look out of place." 

The latter's face becomes serious, "No, no you won't. You'll match with me during the party, Y/N." You incline your head at her notion as she gracefully stands up from her seat and walks to your shared bedroom. 

"Karina?" You furrow your brows and follow after her, "What are you doing?"

The hinges of the door allow you to push them smoothly and see the raven-haired beauty holding up a huge Loius Vuitton shopping bag, and she's holding two of them.

Your jaw slacks as she holds them out to you with a beaming grin, "I bought these for you." 

"Jesus," You mutter as you slowly approach the model, "Are you for real?"

"You want to see them? They're ready to be released tomorrow, but the creative director allowed me to choose." She pauses, "I also got the one for your size, don't worry; I picked them alone in the production room." Her soft brown eyes traverse to the shopping bag, "Take it, my love. I picked them just for you."  

With tentative hands, you take the bag from her and open it under her expectant gaze as she sits at the edge of the bed. You open it carefully, and you nearly drop the bag. 

The coat Jimin chose for you is a white, elegant, double-breasted coat. A white nautical leather accent ribbed coat, "You can use the relaxed-fit shirt for the top." 

You caress the soft fabric of your shirt before gently placing it on top of the bed, Karina giggles at your action as you move your attention to your second bag. It's just as big as the first one.

"Laureate desert boots," Karina grins as you examine the article on footwear. "It's beautiful," You mumbled before looking at her, slacked-jawed. The latter subtly blushes and sheepishly scratches the nape of her neck. "What about yours, though?" You inquire, and she replies with a wink. "You'll see it after the event."

You place your index finger against your chin as if you were thinking as your eyes dart from the attire and your lover, who looks at you softly with a smile before finally giving in. "Alright, after all, it would be a shame if I don't flaunt this newly released piece." 

That pleased the raven-haired model as she got up from the bed, and unexpectedly lifted you by the hips and spun you around. That is always her reaction whenever you'd agree to join her for the after-party of the event. 

"Thank you," She says breathlessly after putting you down, warmth spreads through your body as you cup her right cheek and massage it softly with your thumb. "Seeing you there means a lot to me." 

She leans in for more and closes her eyes as you whisper to her, vow to her:

"Anything for you, my love." 

"Girls! You have fifteen minutes before we need to bring the models backstage! Hurry up!"

A hiss leaves your lips as you run from stall to stall, helping distribute their pieces for the runway. "Hey! Watch it!" One of the staff members snapped, but you didn't pay attention. Apologizing can come second. You need to do your job first, otherwise, the coordinator will have your head on a platter. 

As you approach the stock room for more articles of expensive clothing, you locked eyes with Karina who's being accessorized by her stylists, she sends you a small smile and you flash her yours before you return to work. 

"Fuck," One of your coworkers, Chaewon, cursed. 

"What?" You inquire the short-haired girl as she skims through the wardrobe. She looks at you apologetically. 

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I can multiply myself so," You chuckle at her words as she comes to you with a sealed LV box; jewelry. "Can you make sure that Yunjin wears this before she steps on the runway?"

Yunjin? As in The Huh Yunjin? The rumored nepo baby?

As if reading your thoughts, Chaewaon shoves the box against your chest, "Yes - that Yunjin, I'm so sorry, Y/N, I'm needed at the other department-"

"Chae," You raise an open palm, "No worries, now go. I'll take care of this." 

The short-haired girl smiles in relief before departing from you while you look for Huh Yunjin's fitting room. Huh Yunjin, standing at exactly 5'8, has black, long hair, and softer features, and has been part of the agency since she was 18 years old. Not to mention, a rumored nepo baby due to her father's connections and influence with the fashion industry he was a part of. 

 Your knuckles gently knock against Yunjin's fitting room. You hear a faint: "Come in!" 

Upon entering, you immediately spot the model being pampered by her make-up artist, her kind, bright obsidian eyes lock with yours through the reflection, and her plump, pink lips curl to a kind smile and raise her hand to stop her make-up, the latter obeys as she stands up to face you. Huh Yunjin is wearing LV's Inverted Mahina Monogram Shirt Dress and Donna high boots. She's stunning. 

"Hello, Miss Huh," You greet her with a bow before presenting her with the jewelry box, "I'm here to add finishing touches to your outfit before you hit the runway."

"Wonderful," She approaches you, the heels of her boots scraping against the marble floors as she walks towards you. "Can I see it, Miss?" She pauses as she holds your confused gaze. Then it clicks, she doesn't know you, and she needs to address you by your name as a stylist. 

"Ah," You flush, "I'm Y/N." You open the box to reveal her matching chain earrings and necklace. "Perfect," The model grins and takes a handful of her luscious, black hair and turns around, and lowers her height by bending her knees. 

"Can you help me with the necklace?"

"Sure," Gently, you put the box down and delicately take the necklace before opening the hook and letting it rest at the base of the model's slim neck before locking it in place. 

Yunjin turns around, and her collar is ruffled, "Oh," You click your tongue, "Let me fix that for you." 

The black-haired beauty obliges with a smile before bending her knees for you to fix her dress. "Stay like that, please." You tell her gently before taking the earrings and donning them on the gorgeous model. 

"There," You step back to admire your work, and Yunjin stands up and looks at her reflection. "Thank you, Y/N." Her make-up artist approaches her and hands Yunjin her petite handbag. "I've been meaning to ask since it's my first time seeing you here," The model begins, "What happened to Chaewon?"

"Oh, that," You examine her attire to see if there's anything out of place There was none. "She was called to another department to handle technical issues." You place a hand over your chest, " I came in her stead." 

 The latter hums, and your two-way radio beeps, garnering your attention. "Miss Lee, please bring Yunjin backstage ASAP." 

You look at her, "Time to go, Miss Huh." 

"Please, just address me by my first name: Yunjin. And can you accompany me backstage, Y/N? Just to see if my attire needs more fixing." 

An innocent request, and besides, she's a model so of course her attire as well as her appearance must be the top priority. "Sure, Yunjin, follow me." The taller woman obliges and follows you backstage where the rest of the models are stationed, hidden behind the velvet curtains of the runway stage. You can hear music blaring from the other side as LV's models go in and out backstage to change their attires. Immediately, your eyes spot Jimin talking to a male model with feminine features, Hwang Hyunjin. You know the man, him and his twin Yeji; both of them come from respectable backgrounds with a matching humble attitude. 

You trust them both with your secret lover. 

Your soft features twist to a scowl as you spot a familiar, arrogant face approaching her. 

Except him

Yunjin groans as she sees the man, or at least that is what you assumed before she confirms it. "Jeno is back for more." She whispers close to you, "But before I spread hate, you know about him, yeah? His reputation with female models?"

"Of course," You confirm as you ball your hands. "It's not difficult to believe them with a face like that." 

The model chuckles, and you turn to face her with an arched brow, "What?" She waves her hand dismissively, "Nothing Y/N. Let's say I like your vibe already." You hum and look back at your lover who's throwing him a strained smile. "Poor Karina, ever since she began modeling for Loius Vuitton, she became Jeno's fixation." 

"I agree," You mumble. Yunjin looks at you and hums. "Now that you've seen the designs, what's your favorite?"

The inquiry distracts you, and you tear your gaze from Jimin, "Designs?" You repeat as you look around before answering her. "Karina's, Kazuha's, and lastly," You gesture a hand at her dress, "Yours, or maybe because you're wearing it?" You playfully stated, and the model threw her head back with a soft laugh, eliciting the same reaction from you.

For a moment, your jealousy ebbs; you've gained a new friend.

And a few meters away from you two, Karina's eyes were focused on you. Her hearing blocks Jeno's nonsense while you and Yunjin laugh and move closer to each other and talk in hushed voices before giggling amongst yourselves. 

In three days, you and Yunjin became close. 

She wasn't hard to talk to, Yunjin is open-minded to various topics, and you two share the same expression whenever Jeno walks by. The other stylist picked this up as the model seems comfortable enough to cackle with you, and you cackle with her. You two are that close. 

Karina doesn't seem to mind, but she's mindful of how close you two are, especially with Yunjin's touchy persona to the people she's closest to. 

"Hey Y/N, it's Chae. Karina's stylist is going to be late. Can you file in for her?"

The mention of your lover's name perks you up, "Sure!" You clear your throat and change your tone to a neutral octave. "Sure,"

Giddy, you rushed to find Karina's fitting room. She didn't mention bringing anything, so you assumed that Karina was waiting for your guidance with her attire. Upon entering her fitting room, Karina is seen laying down on the sectional couch wearing a white bathrobe, her hair is slightly wet, and her eyes are closed. 

Smiling softly, you quietly approach the sleeping beauty. The event doesn't start in the next three hours, but as the coordinator said: The earlier, the better. They can nap afterward once they're done dressing up. 

You bend until your face is only centimeters apart, "Rina," You whisper, "Get up. You need to get ready." The older girl groans softly before opening one eye, "Y/N," She calls out softly before smiling, and before you know it, her arms are around your neck as she pulls you close to her, eliciting a yelp of surprise from you as you land on top of her firm body, Karina hums and entraps you with her arms as she hides her head in between your neck and inhales your scent. 

As much as you like being in her arms, this is a public venue. 

"Karina!" You whisper in alarm, "We'll get caught!"

The latter whine and presses soft kisses against the exposed expanse of your neck. 

"Karina!" You whisper more firmly, and she sighs. You relent, "Okay, okay. Five minutes."

Five minutes later, you two began to work. You waited patiently while the make-up artist adds finishing touches to her makeup, Karina kept her eyes closed while the latter works on her face. While that happens, you take secret photos of her and admire them. The camera doesn't do her justice as you examine her features. Soft brown eyes mapping her sharp, upturned nose, her small jaw, big, intelligent, sharp eyes, and Karina's soft lips. 

All of her: you memorized and fell for every day. 

"Okay, she's done." Declares the artist, "I'll get going now." She bows at Karina, "I have another model waiting for me." 

"It's fine," Karina assures, "Y/N will take it from here."

The artist didn't waste tie and immediately left the room. Karina smiles upon hearing the door click close as you approach the wardrobe and skim through its contents before setting your eyes on the white, tapered wool-crepe mini dress. "Perfect," You purr to yourself before turning to face her. Karina was already standing with her loose bathrobe. 

"This should look perfect on you," You then paused, "Who am I kidding, you look good in everything." 

The latter chuckles, "I'm flattered," She grins as you come close to her, "But the clothes are just accessories. I look better when I'm with you." 

Warmth spreads to your cheeks, and you playfully swat her shoulder, "Cheeky," You mused, "Change into this, and I'll get you boots-"

If your cheeks were pink, now they've turned red; Karina discarded her robe and allowed it to slip until it reached her shoulders. "Rina!" 

"What?" She shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly, "You've seen me naked before. That shouldn't bother you." 

"We're in public," You hiss but make no move to cover her. Karina's lip curls to a smirk, "The way I see it, darling." She brushes her knuckles gently against your left cheek; you shudder at her touch. "It's just the two of us here, alone." 

"You wouldn't dare," You protested. The older woman grins, "I'm kidding. Help me change, baby." 

You grunt as she allows the robe to pool around her feet while you unzip the dress and help her don it. While you're busy fixing the dress, Karina just stares at you, shamelessly ogling as you correct her dress. 

"It'll last longer if you take a picture," You joked. Karina hums and grasps your waist, "Why would I need that when I see you every day and night?"

A small smile graces your lips, "You're right."

"And I have you in my bed," She leans close, "Satisfied with my warmth, my touch." Your brow raises at the innuendo. "Karina," 

"What?" She slyly queries, "I'm just stating a fact," 

"Behave," 

Her chest rumbles a low chuckle, causing your guts to churn as she rasps:

"Are you nervous?" She ghost her lips against the side of your face, her cold breath fans your skin. "It's just me, darling, there's nothing to be nervous about." 

"That's the thing," You whisper, your voice becoming weak when it comes to her. "God knows what you do whenever we're alone, and you're acting like this."

Your lover chuckles and assaults your neck with butterfly kisses. For a moment, you allow her to map your skin with her lips before she reaches yours. Her grip becomes tight, and she kisses you with ardent need, searing and unrelenting. And you allow her to do this. Your arms; still aware of the expensive fabric she's wearing, decided to wrap your arms around her neck and pull her closer. Both your lips move languidly against each other, swallowing each other's breaths until both of your lungs burn for oxygen. You were the first to pull away with a pant, Karina looks at you with a hooded gaze before swiping your lower lip with her thumb. 

"You're mine, Lee Y/N."

"And so are you," 

She grasps your jaw, "And I love you."

That caught you off-guard. Your heart swells, and you peck her lips. 

"I love you too, Yoo Jimin." 

"Good," She whispers before you lean away from her to get her ankle-length boots. 

Karina is a simple creature. If she sees you, she's happy. 

But if she sees someone being a little too friendly with you, she becomes territorial. 

She shouldn't be irritated when Yunjin's with you, from what she's heard and seen; Yunjin is a kind woman with a caring personality. She's touchy with the people whom she's close with. She shouldn't feel threatened, but every time Yunjin whispers a little too close for her liking, or whenever she fixes your clothes, something inside her threatens to snap. 

It feels all too intimate, all too soon. 

She grips the stem of her wine glass, courtesy of the aforementioned competition leading you to her friends by the small area of your back, wearing the coat she had picked for you before the Fashion Week began. 

Paris Fashion Week had just ended five hours ago, cue in the after-party - and you look gorgeous in your attire with your hair neatly combed and pressed. Gorgeous, and only she should be admiring you. She knows it's selfish, but that's what makes her human, to yearn for you and have you forever beside her, to tell the world - tell the goddamn world that she loves you. 

"Karina," Jeno's voice snaps her from her reverie, and a scowl threatens to show. "What is it, Jeno?"

"Now that the Fashion Week's over, I was wondering..." In her head, she blocks out his voice as she sees Yunjin's friends gather around you like a prized item. Her sight sharpens as Yunjin brushes your hair back with a smile. 

"She's been doing that frequently," The raven-haired beauty mumbles and sips her drink lightly while Jeno babbles incoherently. 

Yunjin leans in to whisper something in your ear once again, causing you to giggle and playfully swat her shoulder while the taller woman grins at you and takes you to another group. 

Before your lover can even think about her next action, her body gracefully follows you and Yunjin, no longer heeding the protest of the man as she keeps her eyes trained on you. 

Upon following you, she sees you conversing with a familiar group; Giselle, Winter, and the youngest of the bunch: Minji. You and Yunjin seem to be having fun conversing with them judging by the way your pleasant laugh falls from your pristine lips. She decides to listen before approaching.

"Lee Y/N?" Winter, the short-haired girl repeats, "Oh my god, I didn't recognize you in your outfit, you look good!" Karina smirks as she sips her drink. 

"Oh," You flushed, "Stop it,"

"It's true," Minji affirms, "You should wear clothes like that more, Y/N. It brings out the stylist in you." 

"If it does, then I'd be spending millions just to look the part." You joked, and the group laughs, even Karina, who chuckles. 

"Oh, don't worry about a thing," Yunjin grins, "If it makes you feel better, "I'll spoil you with such gifts." Karina's eye twitches. No, that's her job. 

The group lets out a loud "Oooh," 

"You know," Giselle slyly smiles, "If I hadn't known any better, I'd think you two are actually dating." You chuckle nervously while Yunjin hums, "Do you think we'd make a great couple if we are?"

Karina didn't dare let them finish, no. She stormed towards the group, muttering a rough: "Excuse me, I'll be taking her for a moment." And grabs you by the wrist, surprising you as she immediately whisks you away from them without waiting for a reply and leads you to the podium. 

"Jimin!" You whisper harshly to her, "What are you planning to do?"

She didn't say anything before she finally reaches the podium with you standing awkwardly next to her. She then garners the attention of the crowd by tapping on the mic while your eyes find Yunjin looking at the two of you, confusion etched on her beautiful face. 

"Hello, everyone. May I please have your attention?" Karina begins, and the crowd obliges in confusion and curiosity. "Jimin," You fidgeted, and she leaned away from the mic and looked at you fondly, "Let me do this, my love. Let me tell the world who you are to me."

Your posture relaxes, and you nod in agreement. Jimin felt elated; a nod from you is all she needs as you held her hand tightly. 

"Everyone," She grins and tightens her hold around your hand. "This is Lee Y/N, all of you may know her as a stylist - but she is my girlfriend." 

The crowd gasps and cheers and your girlfriend laughs. "And I want to tell everyone in this room that she is mine as I am hers. So to those who think she's single, she is not." The hall is mixed with the crowds' chuckles and murmurs. 

"That's all everyone, do enjoy your evening." She ends her announcement by moving your intertwined hands to her lips and pressing a kiss against the back of your palm mouthing: I love you.

And the day after, the world knew the two of you. From yearning glances and minimal brushes to proud stares and warm touches. 

You are hers as she is yours; the world finally knows this and accepts it or either ignores it, you don't care so long as they know that the two of you belong to each other:

The Model, and her Muse. 

Fin.

[explosionkatsu]

“Age doesn’t matter” 5

Dad!Bakugou x F!Babysitter!Teacher!Reader

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

Hearing what Kazui said made her completely stop. Mama? Why would he think that? Was it because she takes care of him like her own child?

“K-Kazuki. I don't think that's something possible.” Ms. Y/n said washing her hands before she approach the now pouting Kazui.

“Why not?” Kazui said, now tearing up. “My classmates have a mama. Why I don't have one? Why can't I have one?” he was now sobbing.

Seeing his tears pour breaks her heart. Ms. Y/n dreamt of having her own child, but because of how life can be challenging, how she can't afford to buy her own house or a decent permanent job, she set her dream aside and focus on trying to make it at least to the cruel world.

But nothing is crueler to a child not having a mother wanting to have one.

“Shh.” Ms. Y/n carried and embrace Kazui who was sobbing in her arms. “I’m sorry, Kazui.”

Then it suddenly went quiet. Ms. Y/n was still holding Kazui in her arms.

“Kazui?” Ms. Y/n called out, but get no response. When she slowly made her way to a mirror, she saw him fast asleep. She looked at him for a moment, sad that she couldn’t do anything for Kazui. It took a while for her to bring him up to her bedroom and tucked him in, caressing his cheek that was stained from his tears.

Ms. Y/n then left her bedroom. She decided to keep the door open in case she heard him wake up. She strides down the stair and went back to the kitchen where she left some of the burger steaks she molded. As soon as she washed her hands again to proceed, she saw her phone lit up causing her to look at it. When she saw the unknown number, she slightly frowns. But when she clicked on the message, she blinked in surprise.

It was Mr. Bakugou.

..

Once Katsuki settled in his car, he placed a bag beside him. A thank-you gift for Kazui’s teacher.

Giving anyone a gift isn't his thing, but Ms. Y/n's kind gesture made him want to. This is the least he could do to show her he appreciates what she does.

And so, Katsuki turned on the engine when he received the address he needed and drove his way to the said address. seeing he was nearing the address, he noticed it was close to the school. After just a few minutes of walking, for sure they'd reach it.

He remembered Ms. Y/n telling him there was a near convenience store and taking a right turn. As soon as he turned right, he immediately saw her apartment and slowed down. Once closed, he pulled up but didn't leave his car.

Katsuki is nervous. He didn't know how to approach her. His palms are sweating, and so was his forehead, and believe it or not? This was pissing him off. So with all the courage he has. Wait? Why does he need courage for this? He's just going to pick Kazui and hand his gift to her.

That’s fucking it.

Katsuki groan, starting to get frustrated. Without thinking, he grab the bag beside him and exited his car, slamming the door shut behind him.

Ms. Y/n heard this, making her jump and slightly spilling the hamburger steak sauce. “What was that..” She mumbled to herself and wiped her sauce-filled hand.

She made her way to her apartment door even though she knows it was a bad idea. But curiosity got in her and grab the doorknob, twisted it, and pulled the door open. She comes face-to-face with Mr. Bakugou who has his hand raised, about to knock.

“U-uh. Good evening! Mr. Bakugou!” She slightly stuttered. “Please come in!”

Seeing him in an awkward position made katsuki's face turn slightly pink, all the way to his ears. “Ahem. Thanks.” He said in a quiet voice.

Ms. Y/n closed the door behind her as soon as Katsuki get in. “I'm sorry about the mess. I have a lot of papers to work on.” She said sweating dropped when she saw him eye the papers stacked on her coffee table. “Please have a seat.” She added as she collect all the papers and headed to her bedroom.

When she came back, she made her way to the kitchen switched the fire off on her stove, and saw Katsuki sitting on the sofa. “Make yourself at home.” She smiled. “You might be looking for Kazui, he’s currently sleeping in my bedroom.”

Ms. Y/n opened one of the kitchen cabinets and grab two glasses. She then grabs a drink and pours the content into the glass.

Katsuki was quiet even though he can hear her talking . He was checking her apartment which was neat, and organized, with no dust in sight. Except for the stack he saw earlier, which was now gone.

Her apartment was indeed small, like what Kazui said. But she made it look homey. Unlike his quiet home. Even though he has all those branded furniture and expensive stuff. Never in a while, had he felt his house homey. But he, sitting in someone’s home? Knowing that Y/n is living alone, single-

Wait, was she single?

Katsuki’s thoughts about her apartment suddenly vanish. I mean, was she by herself?

Getting inquisitive, he looks for a sign of another person living with her. A male person. But all he saw was what a single woman has.

How old was she again? 23? Right. She’s too young and still unraveling her future.

Well, age doesn’t matter to him.

What? The fuck was he thinking? Why would he think that?

Katsuki internally smacks himself in the face. He’s not looking for any relationship right now. After what happened. He’s too scared to try again.

“Here. Seems like you're deep in thought.”

Katsuki blinked being cut off and saw Ms. Y/n place a cup of tea in front of him.

“Thank you.” He said.

Why was he being quiet anyway?

“You’re welcome.” Ms. Y/n smiled at him. “I actually poured you an orange juice and was about to give it to you but it seems like you're stressed. So I made you some tea. I hope you don't mind camomile?” She giggled and went back to the kitchen.

“It’s fine,” Katsuki said. “Where’s Kazui?”

Ms. Y/n blinked. Didn't she say he’s asleep? Maybe Mr. Bakugou was too deep in thought that he wasn't listening to everything you said.

“He’s sleeping in my bedroom.” You chuckled making Katsuki look at you raising an eyebrow which made you panic and immediately apologize.

“Why're you apologizing?” Katsuki asked and gently gran the tea in front of him. The aroma made him relax.

“I was being rude.” Ms. Y/n smiled nervously.

She’s always smiling.

"You're not," Katsuki said and took a sip.

Ms. Y/n only smiled before going back to her kitchen and preparing the plates needed. "Have you had your dinner, Mr. Bakugou?" You asked.

As if on cue, Katsuki's stomach started making a sound making him blush and her, giggle.

"I'll take that as a no." You said. "I made Hamburger steak. Kazui requested it."

"Hah? I swear to god that spoiled ass brat." Katsuki said, this time, out loud.

"Would you want a plate, Mr-

"Just call me Bakugou. I hate this formality and such. It's fucking pissing me off." Katsuki said as he placed the teacup back on the coffee table.

This doesn't surprise you anymore. Why? Because there are times Y/n watches television in her free time and saw how Dynamight swears a lot. Even civilians got used to this.

"Alright, Bakugou." Ms. Y/n chuckled and just prepare another plate for him. "You can go wake Kazui so we can all eat. The more the merrier right?"

"Don't order me around." Katsuki tsked but follow otherwise.

He heard a low sorry when he walked past the kitchen and straight to her bedroom where he saw the door wide open. He was about to go straight inside but he stopped midway. He's trespassing on her privacy. But she was the one who gave him permission, plus, he's only waking Kazui up, so it doesn't matter. So he continued and went straight into her bedroom and saw a double-sized bed where he saw Kazui sleeping peacefully.

"Oi." Katsuki called but got no reponse. "Brat. Wake up. We're going to eat dinner."

Seeing his son won't wake up anytime soon, he picks him up and carries him in his arms. "Kazui, wake up. Ms. Y/n made us dinner. You spoiled brat."

Kazui lightly stirred in his father's arms before completely waking up, and rubbing his eyes. "Papa," he mumbled.

Katsuki only watched his son.

"Where's mama.." Kazui yawned and snuggled back into his arms.

Katsuki was frozen in his place. Shocked, confused, angry? He doesn't know what to feel when he once again heard his son looking for his mother.

"Why are you looking for her?" Katsuki asked, hoping he would get a response despite knowing how drowsy his son is.

"Mama Y/n.."

[eightmakesonebraincell]

dogboy!yuyu headcanons

genre: bf!yunho x gn!reader, fluffiest fluffy fluff, crack

length: 1.8k

a/n: this spontaneously wrote itself after reading bai’s (@hwaightme) catboy!hwa headcanons, dreaming about dogboy!yuyu, and then being triggered by the braincell i share with yumi (@sorryimananti-romantic) <3 also scroll through to the end for a surprise 🐹

taglist: @lavishloving

YUYU :’((((

the cutest fluffiest ball of energy to ever light up your world <33

your heart just goes :’) whenever you see him, no matter what he’s doing

PUPPY EYES

THE MOST. LETHAL. PUPPY. EYES. EVER.

at first he doesn’t know how dangerous his puppy eyes are

he’s scared of doing the wrong thing or disobeying your orders because he thinks you might not want him anymore or kick him out :(((

he’s so precious he deserves to be protected from every bad thing in the world :((

but then once he learns that you love him more than he can even fathom

and he can literally get away with anything??

especially if he just whips out his puppy eyes and cocks his head to one side??

PLEASE

yunho is 🥺 emoji personified

he stamps his little paws in excitement when you approach him

loves it when you caress the space between his eyes he gets all sleepy 

EAR SCRATCHES

he loves when you scratch behind his ear or under his chin or on his belly

aka scratches anywhere.

and he has the fluffiest and floppiest ears ever <333

they flop up and down whenever he runs it’s so cute omg

and he loves to chase his own tail

he MUST win the battle with himself grr

he doesn’t realise how big he is, both as a pupper AND a human

he runs at you from a distance and attacks you in a hug 🥺

but when he’s really excited and leaps up into your arms it feels like you’re getting slammed by a moving brick wall

you both definitely go down with an oof (mainly from you)

but who can be annoyed when you look up and he’s all :D :D :D and wagging tails on top of you

you two play a lot because he has so much energy

like you throw treats up in the air and he jumps to catch them and it’s like he’s challenging you at this point

you both have this thing where you put your hand on his paw, then he moves to place his paw on top of your hand, then you place your hand on top again and you just make an endless tower of hands

it never ends. it is A COMPETITION.

yall also have barking competitions where you’re just howling at each other lolll

because of that, your neighbour sometimes asks how your dogs (plural) are going and you have to make up a second dog because you’re not about to admit that it’s actually you howling back

yunho ALWAYS gets the zoomies at the most random times

in the morning when you’ve literally just pulled yourself out of bed and half asleep?

he does zoomies around the living room

nearly trips you over

at 3am when you’ve just finished your work and you’re stumbling your way to bed

he gets the zoomies in your bedroom and jumps all over your bed

SPEAKING OF BED

his favourite place is bed

but your bed specifically

you don’t need a heater in winter because he loves loves LOVES to snuggle with you and he’s super warm and fluffy

there’s lots and lots of cuddle sessions ofc, especially when you’re feeling down

he’s always there and he’ll like, give you space at first and then slowly inch towards you :((

sometimes you get nightmares that you’re suffocating and you wake up to yunho’s dog butt sitting on your face LOL

or you’ll wake up to his tail swishing in your face because he’s dreaming about steak

he likes playing in puddles and mud a little toooo much

when it rains you dress him up in a cute little yellow duckie raincoat

you’ve tried the matching puppy gumboots too but he just shakes them off

loves to go splish splash with his paws in all the puddles he comes across

and when he walks away he leaves a trail of his paw prints <3

omg when it comes to shower time after playing?

BRAT 

a cute brat though you could never ever get angry at him

he makes you chase him through the house and you’re shrieking about the little paw prints he’s leaving on the floor

(he helps you clean them up afterwards)

when you finally wrestle him into the bathtub he huffs until you fill it with bubbles and add his toys

you most definitely have to take your own shower after his because of how soapy your clothes get

yunho LOVES his toys so much

it takes so long to convince him to let you put them in the wash

because as soon as you take them away from him? the puppy eyes come out

and you have to be firm and tell him that the toys just need a bit of cleaning, they’ll come back to you smelling super nice, it’s just for a little while

he still sits in front of the washing machine watching the whole cycle because he doesn’t trust the machine

he protecc

whenever you’re working or busy doing something, he’ll come up and nudge you every other minute so you play with him

he’ll drop a toy at your feet so you throw it for him

or he’ll tug on your pants and whine a little for your attention

you’re definitely weak for him so you almost always end up giving in

do you walk him or does he walk you?

he gets excited and darts off whenever he sees other people or other dogs because he wants to go and say hello :’))

and even though he loves meeting the other dogs, if you find another cute dog and turn your attention towards it or compliment it he’s gonna be all 🥺🥺🥺

he’s built to protect you like whenever you go out he’ll valiantly be on the lookout for any dangers like lizards that get too close or plastic bags that are flying towards you

LOL sometimes you can’t bring yunho out with you, and when you get home after bumping into another dog on the way back, yunho will immediately be able to sniff out their smell on your clothes

and he’ll be like >:((

how dare you >:((

i demand head pats and ear scratches as compensation >:((

he melts as soon as you give him a kiss though

when he’s human, literally nothing changes

he has endless energy and he literally skips and bounds along as he walks with you

the man does not. stand. still.

he will JUMP down the last four or five stairs and give you a mini heart attack

you scold him like you’re going to get hurt !!!!! but he just grins at you before running ahead again

omg he gives the most crushing and loving hugs <333

your favourite ones are when you’re running towards him and he has his arms wide open and he catches you as you leap into his arms

and he holds your waist firmly as he spins you two around and you’re both just all wide smiles and hearty giggles (PLS IM SO SOFT RN)

yunho eats like there’s no tomorrow

you cook and plate up your food and turn around to get yourself a glass of water or something and when you turn back around half his plate is already gone and he’s like :D

and you’re like ???? where ?? did all the food go?? 

when you bake you’ve got to keep a close eye on him he’s like a CHILD

he’ll steal the chocolate chips off the counter and you have to take the packet from him and tell him that you need them for the cookies

but he gets a handful of them anyway as compromise

it’s the puppy eyes i’m telling you they stay with him even when he shifts

“no, yuyu, the cookies are still hot you need to wait”

:(

“stop looking at me like that they won’t cool any faster”

:( 

when it’s bedtime he dives under the covers with you

he drapes himself over you like he does when he’s a dog except he is much heavier when he isn’t a dog and you’re lowkey struggling to breathe under him

and he’s like oh no !! i forgot !!

and he’ll lie on his back and pull you so that you lie on top of him instead :’))

doesn’t matter if he’s dog or human, he LOVES CUDDLES

sometimes he decides that he wants head scratches too and he’ll bring your hand up to his head so that you play with his soft blonde locks

he also peppers your face with kisses like non-stop

he makes it his personal goal to make you giggle and laugh from all the kisses he’s giving you

because he is all about that physical affection and touch, perhaps even more when he’s a human

when you’re home he HAS to be touching you in one way or another like he’ll have a hand on your thigh or he’s draped over you in a back hug or you’re sitting in his lap

and it’s so cute when you see the same mannerisms and habits he has as a dog when he’s human

he’ll sit there and huff at all the right times when you tell him about your long day

(which was one of the first things you picked up on that yunho wasn’t your typical dog because when you ranted to him it was like he could understand you perfectly)

and like he still has his protective instincts, except when he’s a man he is The Man 

you tell him about some colleague at work who was nasty to you and he’ll be like WHO. LET ME GO BITE THEM

he definitely growls a little when he’s really protective like grrr >:(

lol but also when you two are playing games and he’s feeling competitive or he’s gaming on the computer he’ll unintentionally growl at you and sometimes you find it kinda hot ;)

with yunho there has never been a single dull moment

his laughter and cheeky antics just become a permanent part of your life <3

he only has eyes for you and they’re filled with love

he is THE GOODEST BOY PERIODT.

bonus: hamsterboy!joong

the D: hamster backed up into a corner meme

raises his little hands when he's scared

will freeze standing up for no apparent reason

literally faints or unalives at the slightest inconvenience

like if you sneeze too loud

or if he falls off the little platform in his cage

you’ll never catch him running in the hamster wheel - that is solely for napping in

he also likes to nap in the igloo homes you put there for him

if you lift one up while he’s under it he’ll run for his life towards another shelter LOL

shoves everything into his mouth when he eats

he complains when his food bowl is empty

but if you try to take the bowl to fill it up? he tries to bite you

no take >:( only fill >:(

tries to look aggressive but he’s the smollest lil bean to exist 🥺

what makes you think he’s any different as a human?

LOL

the end

[thatapostateboy]

just don't lie to me

Pairing: Marie Hawke x Varric Tethras (with established Marie Hawke x Anders... it's complicated)

Word Count: 1087

Synopsis: on the night before the final battle, Marian demands the truth from her best friend

Prompt: Day Thirteen: Things We Say In The Dark from the Veilbound challenge by @/nympthi and @/citadrells on Twitter

Warnings: references to a big final Veilguard final battle; complete speculation

Crossposted: Here on AO3

“What in the hells in this?”

Varric looked up from the mug of ale he had carried to his room to finish before bed to see Marian striding in through the slammed open door. In her hands, she holds his new crossbow.

“Shit,” he sighed, pushing his drink aside on the desk, spinning in his chair to face her properly, “Y’know it’s rude to go through other people’s belongings.”

“Shut up,” she snapped back, “What is this?”

“I’m going to need something to fight with, I don’t fancy bare knuckle boxing an elven god tomorrow.”

She stared at him, a little stunned that he was still trying to banter with her despite her obvious anger, “Don’t be an asshole. Answer the question.”

He sighed, “It’s late, I think we both need some rest, don’t you?”

He slid from his chair to take the weapon from her hands, but she held tight, staring down at him with barely concealed… anger, confusion, perhaps even desperation, he noted.

She turned the crossbow in her grasp so that he could see the name he’d carved into the side of it.

Marian.

“What does this mean?” she asked, her voice quieter now, and he can feel the warmth of her skin as they both hold the weapon.

“Well, it’s your name, Blackbird,” he said with a tone just a smidge too casual that she relented in frustration, thrusting it hard into his arms.

“All these years and you still can’t be honest with me?”

He heard the edge of tears in the back of her throat, and he almost turned his head away in shame, but urged himself to keep his walls up, as he always had.

“Wasn’t sure Bianca Two had the same ring to it,” he said with a half sighed laugh, but she didn’t smile.

“Why my name?” she asked.

“You’re my best friend,” he told her.

“Bianca wasn’t.”

“She designed the last one,” he pointed out.

“And what input did I have on that contraption?” she challenged.

Everything, he thinks. The entire weapon was inspired by her, the deep red wood it’s crafted from, the Fereldan silverite detailing, the feathers that Davrin carved into the base that he’s pretty sure she hasn’t seen yet.

He looked at her, drunk in the sight of her here, in his room, in the depths of the Fade, at the end of the world. Tomorrow they would face the Evanuris in battle one final time. Either it would be enough, and they would be victorious… or they would all be dead.

He hadn’t wanted her here, had lied about their search for Solas, desperate to keep her safe, to let her live what semblance of a retirement she had earned, back in Ferelden raising her children with Anders. And yet, once she had heard he was in trouble, she’d had Merrill more or less punch a hole into the Crossroads to come find him. And there she had stayed, an acting agent of the Veilguard, Anders as their live-in healer and back up Warden, whilst their twins ran amok in the Dread Wolf’s lair.

The years had been kind to her, despite everything. She looked older, though he had aged gracefully into it, laughter lines etched into her face, a few steaks of grey in her dark locks, loose around her shoulders for once as opposed to the ponytail she had favoured in Kirkwall.

It had always been the assumption that he and Garrett were the closer pair, forever laughing and drinking with each other. But it was her, his Blackbird, that had truly known him all these years. The one who called him out on his bullshit, but his fiercest defender. He had wanted to protect her in turn, from getting involved with Anders, from the Inquisition, from everything happening with the Evanuris.

And yet again, he had failed.

He sighed, shaking his head, “Like I said, it’s late. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.”

She turned away for a moment and he prayed that she was heading for the door, but she looked back at him.

“The world is ending, Varric, and you still won’t say it?”

“What would you have me say?” he challenged.

“The truth, for once in your damned life.”

He ran a hand through his hair, “Fucking things up with my best friend isn’t the last thing I want to do before I die. I can’t lose this. You, us. So just… drop it.”

“Just drop it? Like we dropped it for years in Kirkwall? Ignored it, said it was nothing? Fuck, part of me thought I’d imagined it, this thing between us. And now, after everything that’s happened, everything that I’ve lost, that we’ve lost, all of this time… and you put my name on your crossbow the night before we face certain death.”

He set the crossbow on his desk, avoiding her gaze, “Blackbird, I-”

“For once in our lives, will you call me by my actual name? Instead of hiding behind that fucking nickname?” she yelled at him before she let out an exasperated sigh, her amber eyes seeking his, “Varric, please. Just be honest with me, with yourself, just this once.”

He wants to, more than anything. To let those final few walls down around her, to bare himself to her heart and soul, to tell her how he feels, how he’s felt it for years. He wants to spend his final few hours in this world with her in his arms, so that he could face whatever end would come for them all with no regrets.

But this isn’t one of his stories.

“And what exactly is it that you want?” he meets her eyes with a hard expression, “You’re married, and you love Anders. What would hearing any of this change, hm? You shouldn’t…” he tried to maintain the hard tone he’d taken, but seeing the way she pulled back from him, he felt it break something deep within his chest, “You shouldn’t be here. Not with me. Not tonight. You should be with your family.”

“You’re right,” she said, taking a step back, putting physical distance between them, “Goodnight Varric.”

He turned his back as she left as he couldn’t bare to watch her walk away. He heard her pause as she reached the doorway, waiting for him to call to her, to stop her, but when he didn’t, she kept going, closing the door behind her.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, sniffing back tears, “Goodnight Marian.”

[anjelicawrites]

Cringefail Throuple 💡 back again!

I think it’s pretty obvious that both Billy and Michael have cum just from eating reader out, but have either of them ever cum from sucking the other’s cock? Both, maybe? If so, who did it first, and how did those shags go? How did reader react when she saw it/heard about it?

Warnings: oral (m receiving), face fucking, roleplay, a bit of demeaning language.

Unsurprisingly for everyone involved, it happened to Billy first.

NSFW and 18+ only under the cut!

He's on his knees, his face fucked fast by Michael, who is grabbing his hair in a tight vise, making sure sweet Billy isn't going anywhere. Billy is making desperate, choking sounds, dizzy because of the lack of oxygen, he grabs Michael's legs in the attempt to gain some control, failing when Michael's hips move faster against his face and a long steak of profanities spills from his mouth. Without his control, Billy's hips cant against nothing, his cock a leaking mess slapping against his tummy. He shouldn't love being face fucked like this, reduced to a moaning, leaking mess for Michael's needs, yet is brain has flat lined long ago, he's all but the pleasure he's feeling, a tight band in his belly, curling and curling with every rough push and pull, until his world goes blank and he comes, untouched.

In the background he can hear your surprised intake of breath, he doesn't have the time to feel embarrassed, not when Michael's cock in pushing the barrier of his lips.

"It's not going to suck itself, you know."

Coming from someone else, it would have been cringy, from Michael, with that arrogant smirk on his lips? Billy takes it as a challenge.

As for Michael? It happens one of the times him and Billy roleplay. Michael as the broke student who doesn't have the money for the repairman, Billy, and needs to find alternative ways to pay the bill.

Michael looks pathetic on his knees, his ugly clothes in disarray and the glasses askew on his nose; he's blushing furiously as Billy is, slowly, fucking his mouth, taking his time to choke him on his girth.

"No money, awful grades, couldn't even suck cock properly. What are you good at?" Billy says, pushing further into Michael's willing throat.

Michael moans, his eyes turning to show the whites. It's not the act that's making him feel warm everywhere, it's the way Billy is using him, manhandling him, forcing his body to take more. It's the careless way he's using him for his own pleasure, disregarding Michael's, objectifying him into a hole to fuck.

Michael moans around Billy's cock and tries to take more of it, only to be chastised and called a 'dumb slut': he comes, staring with surprised eyes at Billy, who is equally dumbfounded.

"Hmm, someone is finally good for something." He says, trying to stay in character. "Now, let's see what that arse can do."

Cringefail throuple taglist: @fan-goddess @moris-auri @lexwolfhale

Ewanverse taglist: @vhagar-balerion-meraxes @zaldritzosrose

[brightlight-dazzlingeyes]

i found you | rúben dias

💘 synopsis: it's rúben's and isabella's first valentine's day together. warnings: fluff and gratuitous valentine-cute-themed smut becasue why not. (can be read as x reader cause i forgot to mention the oc name in the story) (this is a sequel to between the lines, but can be read as a standalone; since there's no actual smut in the original story, i figured i should give my oc a nice epilogue) (W.C. 1.5K)

Once upon a time, I was convinced that romantic love was nothing more than an annoying distraction. It was like a stubborn pebble in my shoe, constantly irritating me and diverting my focus from what truly mattered.

With great ambitions driving me forward, I embraced the life of a workaholic sports journalist. I'd dreamed of this career for as long as I could remember, and I was determined to make it to the top. Nothing and no one could derail the carefully plotted course I had set for myself. Or so I thought.

But then, love snuck up on me when I least expected it, turning my world upside down. I found myself falling for someone who challenged my carefully constructed plans and made me question everything I thought I knew about myself. And as much as I tried to resist, I couldn't deny the magnetic pull drawing me closer to him.

As Valentine's Day approached, I reflected on how much had changed since that time when I thought love was nothing but a nuisance. Now, it is the very thing that brings color to my life. 

And as I prepared for a romantic dinner with the person who had stolen my heart, I felt nothing but gratefulness for the delightful chaos he had brought into my life.

We stepped into a cozy restaurant, the aroma of delicious food enveloped us, and I felt a flutter of excitement in my stomach. Valentine's Day dinner with Rúben – it is still surreal, like something out of a cheesy rom-com.

We plopped down at our table, and Rúben dove into the menu like it was a puzzle. Couldn't help but poke fun at him.

"Can't make up your mind, huh? Let me guess, torn between the steak and the seafood pasta." I teased, a smirk playing on my lips.

He glanced up, "Actually, I was thinking of going all in and ordering the entire dessert menu. You know, for research." He joked, his laughter contagious.

After dinner and a couple drinks, we decided to head back to Rúben's place. As we walked out of the restaurant, the crisp evening air hit us. We strolled side by side, our steps matching in rhythm, exchanging playful banter along the way. 

Eventually, we reached Rúben's apartment building, and he held the door open for me with a charming smile. I followed him inside. As we stepped into the elevator, the atmosphere shifted, a sense of excitement mingled with nerves. Our eyes met, and in that silent exchange, we both knew what was coming next.

The elevator ride felt like it lasted an eternity, the anticipation building with each passing floor. And when we finally reached Rúben's floor, the door to his apartment swung open, and we stepped inside. 

We stood there for a moment, taking in the scene before us, the air thick with anticipation. And as Rúben turned to face me, his eyes sparkling with desire, I knew that this was where I was meant to be.

"I'm so happy." He whispered, his voice barely above a breath.

"Yeah?" I replied, a smile spreading across my face. "Well, there are plenty of ways you can show me just how happy."

"I'll do my best." He answered, his eyes twinkling with excitement as he leaned in and planted a tender kiss on my forehead.

His touch sent a shiver down my spine, igniting a fire of desire within me. I nodded, unable to find the words to express the storm of emotions raging inside me. 

The atmosphere was charged with electricity, every glance and touch sending jolts of excitement through my veins. Rúben's eyes sparkled with desire as he guided me further into the room, his hand warm against mine. Our lips met in a passionate kiss, igniting a fire between us. We lost ourselves in each other's embrace. This was where I belonged – in Rúben's arms, surrounded by love and desire.

We surrendered to the intensity of our connection. Rúben's hands moved with purpose, exploring every inch of my body as if committing it to memory, each touch igniting a new wave of desire within me.

With practiced ease, he lifted me off my feet, his strong arms holding me close as he carried me towards the bedroom. I wrapped my arms around his neck, lost in the sensation of being so close to him, my heart racing with anticipation.

As he gently lowered me onto the bed, our eyes locked in a silent promise of passion and devotion.

His kisses became more intense, I could hear the rhythm of his breathing growing more rapid. His fingers curled around my hips, pulling me closer, pushing me further onto him. I whimpered as pleasure surged through me.

His hands continued their journey southward, tracing the curves of my body with skillful precision. The look in his eyes told me he was feeling the same wild need I was.

I arched my back, grinding my hips against him, letting him feel my desire. And the sensations only intensified as he teased my clit with his tongue, coaxing it into bloom. With every touch, with my body under his mercy, the room around me began to spin.

He parted my legs with his knee and buried his face between them, moaning as he kissed my inner thighs. In that moment I realized I could reach orgasm with just his lips caressing my most intimate flesh. I lost control. I cried out as ecstasy overwhelmed me.

Without warning, his mouth descended on mine again, seeking out the sweetness of my lips, inserting one finger inside of me. Then another one. I cried out in delight, pushing myself deeper onto his digits. His fingers worked relentlessly at their task. I let go of my inhibitions and gave myself over to his expert ministrations, gasping as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through me.

Finally, after several moments of total bliss, I collapsed under him, breathless and spent.

He pulled away and smiled, cupping my cheek tenderly, gazing deeply into my eyes. 

My eyes were heavy as I stared into his; dark pools that bore an intensity I'd never seen before. There was a strange expression on his face, a combination of curiosity and wonder. It didn't take me long to realize that he was looking at me with complete adoration.

Cuddling with him, I could feel just how hard he was, laying on top of me. I smiled, still feeling a bit shaky after such a harsh orgasm, and placed my hand on his member. He looked at me with wonder.

"Are you sure you're ready to go on?" He asked, concern evident in his voice.

"Mmm, not really." I admitted, rubbing the bulge tentatively.

"Maybe I should give you a rest first." He leaned forward and licked my earlobe playfully.

"Oh, but I've been dreaming about this all day." I breathed into his ear.

He whispered back, "Well, who am I to deny you your dreams?"

His words sent a shiver down my spine, turning my knees weak. I reached up to pull him closer, craving the feel of his skin against mine. Then, before I knew what was happening, he grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head.

It was like he possessed me. With just one swift motion, he pushed me backwards, then pressed himself firmly against me. He let out a low moan as he lifted my leg higher, curling me around his waist, penetrating me with one forceful thrust. The sensation was incredible. He reached behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me tight.

As he slowly moved in and out of me, I heard the same soft sound of pleasure escape from both of us. I found myself getting lost in his deep brown eyes, forgetting where I was and everything else around me. My head fell back against his shoulder as he moved ever so slightly faster. It wasn't long before I came again.

But instead of slowing down or stopping, he picked up speed even more.

My heart raced as I surrendered to the whirlwind of sensations coursing through me. With each powerful thrust, I felt myself edging closer to the brink of losing my mind, my body trembling with ecstasy.

He whispered my name like a prayer, his breath hot against my ear as he drove me to the edge and beyond. I clung to him desperately, my nails digging into his skin as I rode the waves of pleasure crashing over me.

And then, in a crescendo of bliss, we reached the pinnacle together, our cries of release mingling in the air. 

We lay entwined in each other's arms, spent and breathless. In that moment, there was no past, no future, only the intense connection between us, binding us together. With him by my side, I was ready to face whatever challenges life threw our way, knowing that our love would always be our guiding light.

[sarucane]

How did Stede leave pirating so easily?

So in the space of 2 episodes, Stede goes from being "the motherfucking man" to an innkeeper, and there's really not *much* in between there--all his scenes are primarily about other characters in the finale. So I wanted to rant about what I think fills in this gap.

Why did Stede become a pirate in the first place? Well, because he wanted to be a "real boy." He wanted to have a life that felt like his own, a life that wasn't swaddled in comfort (completely, at least). He wanted to break the monotony, the despair of a life without room for deep emotions or agency. And he became a certain kind of pirate because he wanted to be someone important and good in the lives of others, not just a marginal figure.

But why did Stede become a pirate the second time?

Ed.

Sure, there were other reasons: he didn't belong with his family anymore, didn't fit in his old life, and trying to have his cake (having run away) and eat it too (coming back) was just hurting everyone. He changed, and they changed, and a foundational truth of this show is that you can't change back.

But the reason he didn't belong with his family anymore was that he had gotten his original wish. He'd become a "real boy," someone who felt things deeply, who didn't need to keep one foot in his old life by hanging onto his wealth. He'd become important and valued in the lives of his crew, which they demonstrated when Chauncy challenged his right to the Act of Grace

But the moment Stede crosses the line forever between his old life and his new one is when he tells Mary "his name is Ed."

When Stede leaves, he falls in with the marooned crew--but he spends more time pining for Ed then talking to them. There's a place for him with his crew, and he fits in it, and we see in E5-6 that he cares deeply about doing right by them.

But neither Ed nor Stede fully fit into the crew when everyone's back together. Ed's caught up in his own self-reckoning, and Stede's splitting attention between the crew and Ed. In a way, they've outgrown Stede: they no longer need his help to enable the community on the ship. They've reached a point where they can deal with the conflicts in E4 by themselves, can absorb Archie and then Izzy and give both of them space to relax and integrate. They like having Stede as captain, but they don't need him anymore. In E7, Stede takes Olu leaving as a betrayal, but even that goes back to Stede being more focused on Ed than on the crew, and acting out over hurt feelings from a fight.

The only thing left that Stede can only get through piracy is the lure of fame. And that's a real perk--Stede genuinely enjoys his taste of infamy in E7. It's fun, it's a fulfillment of a childhood dream.

But it's also hollow, and it's a trap. It's hollow because Bill isn't Stede's real friend, and the loss of Steak Knife wasn't worth Stede dying by challenging Zheng (nor was Stede's ego worth Steaky's death, but that's another thing). And it's a trap because Stede really is a terrible pirate. Stede has to deal with the pirate world without Ed three times during the show. The first time, the Spanish almost kill him; the second time, Spanish Jackie almost maims him; the third time, he challenges Zheng to a duel and refuses to back down, then tries to "ambush" British officers who kick his butt. Stede's fantastic when he stays in his lane of nontraditional piracy, but if he became a really successful traditionally infamous pirate, he'd no longer be Stede.

So Stede doesn't need the infamy of success as a pirate, any more than he needs is pretty clothes (though he likes both). Stede doesn't need to stay a pirate to keep his relationship with the crew, and they don't need him either. Stede doesn't need to go out and be a pirate to feel real things, or think he's "adequate" enough for his father.

But Stede does need to give his relationship with Ed a real chance, to be what they want it to be. And Ed just cannot be a pirate anymore--there's too much damage and pain. Plus, living on the ship, their lives in danger all the time, heightening everything, pushing their actions out of their control. Their relationship was crushed under that pressure in S2, and it's still a pretty fragile thing. They need space and time. And by leaving the ship, they can have it.

For Stede, piracy meant belonging, love, and fulfillment.

He has those things now: He's got Ed. He doesn't need piracy anymore.

[ofmdbigbang]

Title: Mr. Teach, We're Needed Author: Zuckerbaby_1 Artist: poorlyformed Beta reader: LyraTalise, QuaintlyFig, MerPerson/Lamer_nathalie, GildeCage Main Characters: Blackbeard|Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet Other Characters: Prince Ricky Banes, Steak Knife, Auntie, Zheng Yi Sao, Fang, Frenchie, Nigel Badminton, Chauncey Badminton, Calico Jack Rackham, Wee John Feeney, Lucius Spriggs, Black Pete, Oluwande Boodhari, Ned Low Main Relationship(s): Blackbeard|Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet Other Relationship(s): Lucius Spriggs/Black Pete Rating: Explicit Additional Tags: References to The Avengers (TV 1961), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Smut, Fluff and Humor, Happy Ending, POV Blackbeard, POV Stede Bonnet, POV Alternating, Lovers to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Canon-typical Violence, Blackbeard|Edward Teach Loves Stede Bonnet, Stede Bonnet Loves Blackbeard|Edward Teach, Mutual Pining, Flirting, Blackbeard|Edward Teach Has a Sweet Tooth, Blackbeard|Edward Teach Has ADHD, Protective Blackbeard|Edward Teach, Warning: "Calico" Jack Rackham, Non-Consensual Touching, Frenchie Has a Fear of Cats (Our Flag Means Death), "Calico" Jack Rackham Being An Asshole, Alcohol, BAMF Stede Bonnet, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Switch Blackbeard|Edward Teach, Switch Stede Bonnet, Bottom Stede Bonnet, Top Blackbeard|Edward Teach, Vanilla, Talking It Through As A Crew (Our Flag Means Death), Declarations of Love, Our Flag Means Death Big Bang 2024 Warnings: psychological/emotional manipulation, blood and gore Summary:

Mr. Teach had, once upon a time, been Blackbeard, hacker and conman bringing down bad guys, feared by corporations and politicians the world over. Before that, he'd been Eddie Teach, trainee MI5 spy who dropped out and disappeared in his first year. Now, he's Mr. Edward Teach: polymath, artist, scientist, author and occasional gadfly about town. Mr Stede Bonnet is the erstwhile son of minor aristocracy, lover of fashion and beauty, extensively well-read, master of swordstick and especially dashing in a bowler hat. Stede is also ex-M15, the reason for his leaving just one of the many secrets from his past - and present. Stede convinces Ed to use all of his not inconsiderable experience, skills and intelligence (and looks) to solve mysteries together, mysteries assigned to Stede by the shadowy "Auntie." These mysteries challenge the limits of their knowledge and bravery, and stoking the ever-present undercurrent of mostly unspoken but previously acted-upon shared feelings between them. 5+1 times Stede was in Ed's apartment.

Wordcount: 56125

Mr. Teach, We're Needed

[themisinformer]

Trump Boasts That His Failed Coup Killed Way More People Than South Korea’s

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In light of the recent declaration of martial law in South Korea, President-elect Donald Trump would take the time to publicly condemn President Yoon Suk Yeol’s blatant power grab, bragging that his failed coup on January, 6th killed way more people than Yeol’s, who’s martial law declaration is currently reporting zero deaths.

“Those Koreans are just a bunch of weak little commies, I tell ya,” Trump would say during a GOP event just after finding out about the coup attempt. “Their government has no control over their own country, folks. They tried to make a big show about wiping out the political opposition, but they failed miserably. There were no deaths, and barely any chaos. My coup attempt, on the other hand, killed way more people. Way more. Everyone’s saying it.”

Trump would also use South Korea’s failed coup as an opportunity to boast about his own power. “This type of thing would never happen in America with me as your President,” Trump continued. “We’re gonna bring out the big guns, and nobody will be safe. The radical left, journalists, my ex lovers. All of them will be counting their days. When my supporters rushed the Capitol, they showed us what this country is truly capable of. Nobody does insurrections like America. We’re truly the best at everything!”

When a reporter pointed out that comparing fatalities caused by world leaders might not be in the best taste, Trump would double down. “Taste? I’ve got the best taste!” He retorted. “The best gold toilets, the best branded steaks, the best coups — nobody even comes close! And look, I’m not saying that deaths are good, okay? But if you’re gonna perform a coup, then you’re gonna wanna do it right. You want the numbers, you want the headlines. When I did my coup, even though it failed, I still did right. I delivered the highest ratings in the whole entire world. As for South Korea, they’re barely even trending on Truth Social!”

South Korean officials have yet to respond to Trump’s comments and are expected not to do so for quite some time as they deal with the aftermath of this coup attempt. Trump, however, saw this as “proof” of their apparent weakness. “See? They ain’t nothing but a bunch of pussies,” Trump concluded. “They think they’re so strong and tough within their own country, but the second the next leader of the greatest country on planet earth challenges them, then all of a sudden they go quiet.”

[darkmaga-returns]

A guffaw-inducing story comes to us today from jolly old England, where Kier Starmer has “laid down the gauntlet” to Donald Trump, demanding the incoming US President “show leadership” on climate change:

I laughed out loud just typing that last sentence.

Starmer’s challenge to the new President-elect came as he disembarked his carbon-spewing jet upon arriving in Azerbaijan at the COP29 climate summit. You know, the UN-sponsored event where all the wealthy elite hypocrites gather every year to discuss how to use the climate alarm scam as a means of destroying western democracy and enslaving the masses in energy poverty while they consume $1,000 Wagyu steaks and $2,000 bottles of French wine.

Here is an excerpt from that story at the Daily Mail:

Keir Starmer threw down the gauntlet to Donald Trump at the Cop29 summit today by urging him to ‘show leadership’ on climate change.

The Prime Minister issued the challenge to the US President-elect as he arrived at the UN conference in Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan.

Sir Keir is one of just a small handful of world leaders who have come to the annual event, aimed at curbing catastrophic global warming caused by greenhouse gases.

Trump’s response, of course, is to remove the US once again from the useless joke that is the Paris Climate Accords.

[falciesystemessays]

So I beat the RPG Maker cult hit Helen's Mysterious Castle today! I could heap a lot of praise on this game, from the innovative combat system to the storytelling by implication to the sheer technical wizardry required to make this game in RPG Maker 2000. It's a well-designed game with a lot of good ideas.

But I actually want to talk about a subtler aspect of its design, one that solves a problem I've had with RPGs for a long time. It's the game's approach to grinding and character progression, and how the difficulty is always in the player's control.

So, let's set the stage here. Let's say you're playing a new RPG, and you find yourself loving the combat system. So many people have said that RPG combat is boring, but you've known that's never been true. It's so good that you end up playing it for its own sake, just doing whatever random battles take your fancy. But each fight you win gives you experience points, that gradually make you stronger until you're vastly overleveled for the area. The game has interpreted your love of the combat system as a desire to grind, and now the game is significantly easier, permanently.

You can see a character's level as a kind of inverse difficulty slider, one that can go easier, but never harder. The only way to preserve a sense of difficulty is to play the game less. This deeply annoys me, and has given me an adversarial relationship with leveling systems on the whole. Some games have cool solutions to this; The World Ends With You lets you level down at any time, and rewards you more per battle if you do so. Rereleases of Final Fantasy XII come with a New Game- mode that prevents you from leveling entirely. And indie RPGs like Cataphract OI ditch leveling altogether. That last one comes with a unique advantage, because it allows the designer to precisely design encounters around specific stats. I'm a fan, as you can hopefully tell.

But Helen's manages to compromise between traditional leveling and player choice, letting you decide your difficulty but never forcing it. And here's how: Every increase in stats is voluntary.

Let's start with EXP. First of all, EXP only goes to upgrading weapon stats, and you have to choose to do so. You can grind all you want (and I have), but your stats won't increase until you say so. Moreover, you have a lot of choice as you upgrade. You can hold 8 pieces of equipment at once, and each one serves a distinct purpose. So maybe you want a quicker heal, or a more defensive sword, or a stronger bow. These weapons have a cap of 10 upgrades, and many powerful weapons can't be upgraded at all, so there is a hard limit on how much you can grind. This allows Helen's Mysterious Castle to have a clear minimum difficulty that can be designed around, and I personally found it satisfying.

But here's the other touch that I think is truly inspiring: The steaks after you fall. Essentially, every time you're defeated, you wake up in your room or an inn, so you have to do a lot of the dungeon again. But, each time you wake up, someone leaves a steak on the table. Choosing to eat this will increase your Max HP by a very small amount. This lets you subtly decrease the difficulty if you want to, but only after failing a challenge. The fact that the increase is small encourages you to try again anyway with a new strategy. What this does, in practice, is give you the sense of constant forward progress while making it clear that your skill is what will decide the fight. Helen's Mysterious Castle is a very tightly-designed game, but loosening the grip just a little bit helps the game not feel cold to the player. Also, there is a cap on how much HP you can gain this way, and lategame will set you to that automatically, so it's not possible to simply cheese the game by dying over and over.

RPG Maker, for a while, has been known as the engine of narrative and aesthetics, for making cool adventure games but not so much cool RPG's. Recent years have seen a change in this paradigm, with several developers (including myself) seeing this engine as a valid tool for RPG game design. It's a common beat in game reviews that RPG combat is inherently boring, but we know that isn't true. And it's cool to think that small developers in a maker engine are not just making games that are Pretty Good, but actually making clever choices that solve real problems in the genre.

[cursedfell]

customer-something, trespassing-something. the chef will be delighted to meet an old friend, won't he? " wow, sukuboo, you have a nice thing afoot here, " praises the sunglass-shaded smile. the well-stocked playground is clearly a marvel, but not enough to gawk with bare eyes. " sooo, wanna come teach at my school? or are you still stuck here chasing another michelin star? " 一 gojo to sukuna in some weirdass chef au. i know nothing, just that i've seen chef sukuna on your blog and im here with this abomination

sukuna  crosses  his  arms,  a  smirk  curling  at  the  corners  of  his  mouth  as  he  leans  back  against  the  counter,  eyeing  gojo  with  a  mix  of  amusement  and  disdain.  “ah,  if  it  isn’t  the  self-proclaimed  culinary  expert,”  he  replies,  his  voice  dripping  with  sarcasm.  “you  must  have  mistaken  this  place  for  a  school.  i  hardly  have  time  to  babysit  your  wannabe  chefs  when  i’m  busy  crafting  masterpieces  that  even  your  oversized  ego  couldn’t  fathom.”

he  takes  a  moment  to  scan  the  bustling  kitchen,  the  sounds  of  sizzling  pans  and  clattering  utensils  a  symphony  of  chaos  that  feels  like  home.  the  energy  here  is  alive,  electric,  and  it’s  where  he  thrives.  “and  as  for  chasing  michelin  stars,  let’s  just  say  i’m  more  interested  in  making  real  food  than  pandering  to  critics  who  wouldn’t  know  a  perfectly  cooked  steak  from  a  rock.  the  culinary  world  is  full  of  pretenders,  and  i  have  no  intention  of  joining  their  ranks.”

with  a  flick  of  his  wrist,  he  gestures  to  the  vibrant  dishes  being  plated  around  him,  colors  bursting  forth  like  an  artist’s  palette.  “you  see  all  this?  this  is  passion,  gojo.  this  is  what  cooking  is  about—creating  experiences  that  linger  long  after  the  last  bite.  it’s  not  about  some  shiny  accolade  that  holds  no  meaning  in  the  hands  of  fools.”

sukuna  leans  in  slightly,  his  piercing  eyes  narrowing  playfully  as  he  studies  gojo’s  reaction.  “but  i  appreciate  the  offer,  really.  teaching  at  your  school  would  be  an  insult  to  my  talents.  i  prefer  kitchens  that  challenge  me,  not  some  glorified  daycare  for  wannabe  cooks.”

he  straightens  up,  his  confident  demeanor  radiating  a  sense  of  superiority.  “now,  if  you  want  to  learn  something  worthwhile,  you’d  do  well  to  watch  and  take  notes.  just  don’t  expect  me  to  go  easy  on  you.  after  all,  i  only  deal  in  the  best—and  you  have  a  long  way  to  go  before  you  can  even  consider  standing  in  my  shadow.”

[sizzlinbaconpeach]

Did you see that? 😩

https://twitter.com/PrCat88/status/1695068296221974749?s=19

The link is to a Twitter post that states:

"Chris cried when Piers died. He didn't when Jill had seemingly fallen to her death. That should tell you something."

Please do not take this as an attack on any particular ship. I'm not here to start any wars. I'm merely sharing my thoughts and feelings on the ship that I do enjoy, and trying to politely discuss that and share it with others (and answer this message). I please ask that we have no heated messages in the comments or disrespectful reblogging - please only share positivity or your own thoughts and opinions in a non-hostile manner. That way this can stay peaceful, thank you ^_^

While you could certainly argue, that at face value, Chris might have shown more emotion during Piers' sacrifice than Jill's - those two events happen under different circumstances and at different paces. Jill's sacrifice is sudden and unexpected - Chris is going to be shocked more than anything at first. Piers and Chris actually have some back and forth discussion and/or struggle before Piers finally makes the choice.

Piers

Chris was desperate to try and save Piers - this young protege who was to take his place in the BSAA - the only remaining soldier in his initial squad. I think they both knew, deep down, that Piers had a slim chance of survival. But Chris was going to fight for that chance. He does his best to keep encouraging Piers, because he doesn't want another casualty on his watch. So, of course Chris is going to have a lot of emotion surrounding Piers' sacrifice. It's another victim that he can't save. The whole time they are racing to escape, Chris seems to be trying to convince himself, more than anyone, that both of them can make it out alive. Chris was supposed to train all those men and watch them grow and fight bio-terrorism, alongside and in his place. But instead, Chris watches them all die. He carries a heavy guilt with him, as he was the captain that failed them. This tragedy is already weighing heavily on Chris through the whole game. And Piers was a young man, in the prime of his life. Struck down by the horrors of bio-terrorism - the very thing Chris has been so vehemently fighting. Chris' head was probably spinning as it kept telling him something he didn't want to face, thrumming in his ear, 'it's too late. You failed again', as he helped a struggling Piers continue forward. The shove into the pod was the final confirmation. 'They're all dead'. So yeah, I could see why he'd get pretty teary eyed. Chris abandons his retirement plans and eats a steak in honor. IMO, Chris reacts like someone who grieves for a comrade. A horribly unfortunate and bitter moment, but lest it be in vain.

Jill

Before her sacrifice, Chris and Jill seemed like an unstoppable duo. They faced many challenges, but were ultimately the victors in their battles. They survived the mansion, they gathered info on Umbrella, founded the BSAA, protected the Mediterranean, and even destroyed Umbrella together. They were partners through it all.

So tracking down Spencer to his European mansion was supposed to be the same, right? They were going to bring him down and get information on Wesker, too! Right? It was just the next step to rid the world of bio-terrorism. Right? ...right? But then, unexpectedly, they found Wesker standing over Spencer's corpse in the library. And he moved lightning fast, too. Soon, Chris was dangling in the air as the red eyes locked on to him just like the iron grip around his collar. This was it. Chris was staring his death in the face. But that cry of desperation from the familiar voice on the other side of the room saved him. He turned to the smashed window to reach out for his falling partner, but her form disappeared into the abyss below. The only thing that he could do was bellow her name in anguish. His partner! His bestest friend in the whole-wide world! JiiiilllLLLL!

He didn't take any new partners after her fall and threw himself into work (part of me thinks he was doing that in honor of Jill and to numb the pain of her missing - you can't grieve if you're focusing on other things. Jill even mentions in an email to Barry that she didn't get a funeral - now who would have been responsible for that, I wonder? Maybe the man who refused to believe she was dead? ...Maybe).

Also, this silly precious himbo thought Wesker was dead but never gave up hope that Jill was alive. He kept his ears and eyes peeled for her for almost 3 years! Curiously, he requested an assignment with BSAA Africa, but he wouldn't elaborate on the reasons why. We come to find out in RE5, it was to follow a lead about Jill.

Throughout RE5, Chris is focused on finding Jill. He demands answers from a dying Irving. He demands to know of Jill's whereabouts multiple times from Excella. She even mocks him for it. 'Jill, Jill, Jill. You sound like a broken record. Just as single-minded as he [Wesker] said.' And when Jill is finally revealed to him, she is his main focus. He didn't want to leave her side when he was finally reunited with her, despite Wesker's imminent plans of total cataclysm. His priority was Jill. It wasn't until she urged him on that he, very reluctantly, left her side. And this is Chris Redfield! The man who doesn't let anything distract him from the mission - anything but Jill - that is. :P IMO, Chris reacts like someone who is missing a piece of himself, desperately searching for that missing part to feel whole again.

So the immediate reaction is different because both sacrifices were different.

Chris knew there was a chance of Piers' death the moment he was infected. Combined with the other trauma in RE6, it was no wonder that Chris was torn up over the death of this young man (practically a kid!) with so much potential.

With Jill, her 'death' catches him completely off-guard. He starts questioning if he can even fight bio-terrorism anymore at the start of RE5. He can't believe she is dead. He can't move on from her, and her loss is eating him up inside. The word partner is enough to trigger pain. It's only when he saves Jill and destroys Wesker that his resolve returns.

Both Jill and Piers sacrifice themselves, but both have different instigators, time-frames, circumstances, and ultimately, Chris reactions.