#Wine Mum

[yourmomwhitediamond]

Okay, I just thought I'd talk about my ideas on how the Diamond would be as mum's. Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes.

First White. She is 100% a wine mum. Nobody can change my mind on that. She has an assortments of wines, a whole cellar dedicated to the stuff. Of course she wouldn't allow the child to drink any, she know better and the wine is her prized possesion. Okay maybe, just maybe, she'd allow the kid to take a sip while Blue and Yellow weren't looking. The kid would just end up spitting it out and try get the taste out of their mouth. This would draw the attention of Blue and Yellow and they'd most likely not be happy with White allowing the child to have a tiny sip of her wine. She'd just shrug it off. Apart from that, she'd just down right spoil the kid with load of expensive things and couldn't give a crap what they do. White would be so sassy and sarcastic but would make a great mum. Nothing is boring when your with her. Obviously she has an amazing sense of fashion and would try get the kid into wearing clothes like her. Blue and Yellow would come home to find the a mini White. They'd not be able to tell the difference between the two if it weren't for their difference in height. She wouldn't be happy when the other two Diamonds try to remove all the make-up from the childs face. That took time talent and hard work. Not to mention the make-up was expensive.

Yellow would always, and I mean always, be seen with a coffee in her hand. Just black coffee. It would be the only thing you see her drink. She just needs the caffeine to help power her through the kids incessant whining and nagging. She can't deal with kids and stares into space as they run around her reeking havoc. Honesty, she just couldn't care less. Even if the kid had set fire to a building shed stand their with the coffee, a blank expression on her face. In fact, she would probably end up praising the kid for doing such a thing. She might help the kid with it. Blue and White would not be impressed though, more so Blue. Would definitely laugh if the kid fell over. She wouldn't even try hold it back. But, she would definitely not stand for anyone bullying or being horrible to the child. If anyone made the kid cry they'd feel the full wrath of Yellow Diamond. She protects the kid no matter what and might teach them to fight, but just can't wait for White or Blue to take the kid off of her hands. However, the child does have a special place in her heart, though she'll not let anyone see that.

Blue would practically wrap the kid in bubble warp. She'd molly coddle them and stick by their side 24/7. No doubt she would have a full first aid kit in her hand bag and would overreact if the kid got a tiny scratch. Just wraps the entire limb in a badnge. She just can't say no to the kid and would buy them anything they want. That kid would be spoiled. She wouldn't hesitate to lecture the kid if they did something wrong. If, for some reason, the kid ended up crying because of her words then she'd end up crying too. To apologise she would take the kid to McDonald's, all while Yellow and White stand there unimpressed. This would mean it was down to White and Yellow to teach the kid the rights and wrongs of life. Blue just doesn't have the heart to make the child feel upset.

Overall, they would probably make great mums.

[disaster-theysbian]

Just had a wild experience at a BnB on England's South Coast. Buckle up!

The lady who owned it was very nice. Well turned-out, in her sixties, she raised her children and grandchildren in the house before turning it into a BnB. She showed me round, went through house rules, and introduced me to her cat. We'll call him Henry.

Henry is very fluffy, slightly wonky, with one eye. He was found in a pile of rubbish, and the lady nursed him back to health as a kitten. Apparently, he was born without a brain, because he has been hospitalised no fewer than three times after running into the road without looking. One of the rules was that Henry has to be kept inside, as he clearly does not learn from his mistakes and costs his human a lot of money when he decides to play in traffic.

Later on in my stay I was chilling on the bed, the window in my room open (it was very high up, had to stand on my tiptoes to open it, and the windowsill was basically nonexistent.) The door was closed but obviously not clicked fully shut... because the next thing there is a bang, the door opens, and Henry throws himself at the wall and riccochets out of the window.

I *freaked*.

I tried to call him back in, but no, he just stood on the roof of the conservatory and stared at me. A long term tenant appeared, rolling his eyes and shaking his head, said not to worry, this happens sometimes, he'll be back (hopefully).

I tried to enjoy dinner with my friend but I was worried about Henry. I got back after midnight, tipsy, and went to bed. Not long after, I heard the landlady crash in and call Henry. I thought I'd better own up so I went and told her I'd accidentally let him out. She said (drunkenly) "it's alright darling, he's here, I just wanted to cuddle him!" I was like "omg thank God!"

Then she giggled like a naughty child and said "do you want a glass of wine?" So I said "Go on then!"

Then two hours later we are both plastered and I'm like "Jane why are you with this man he is a WALKING RED FLAG BABE HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU" she's like "YOU'RE ONLY A BABY HOW ARE YOU SO WISE" and I'm like "because it's cheaper to take my therapist's advice on board than go back every month with the same shit"

*giggling*

I didn't see her again before I checked out but I left her a thank you note on the back of a piece of paper with positive affirmations on it that I've had in my wallet for months. I felt it was a nice thing to have happened, to have been able to pass on some of my therapy to someone else and help them set boundaries and heal, and that it's never too late to start saying yes to yourself.

And then I had to help Henry again because he got his paw stuck trying to get the window open.

[degenerate-otaku]

oh yes it's time yet again for gankaru weekend!! Featuring young franziska!

Hope u guys fw it heavy

[theeerealpunkin]

Patton, somewhere to the side: *incredibly distressed puppy sounds*

Janus: *vaguely intrigued, knowing this is a bad idea but too curious about the outcome to stop them* no no, don't mind him. Go on

[c-kiddo]

thinkin about when tmn met cad and nott was like “do you need any help there, mr? mrs?” .like Let me get this bitchs pronouns before i call him strange and frightening and then shoot my friend to check if he has healing powers

[guardianofthedawn]

Kung Lao: Hey Raiden, remember when you dared me to lick one of the monks’ bald heads?

Raiden: No, I said, “Don’t lick the monk’s head, Kung Lao.” You said, “Don’t tell me what to do, Raiden,” and then you licked the monk’s head.

[adlamu]

COME KNOCKIN' | happy birfday the mr recoilboss man, alan wilder 🦊🎉 re: Why alan is the death tarot card inb4 i get stick: upright, it means: endings, change, transition, transformation - and i felt it was fitting for him, given the all change/transition/etc he's done.

[spell-fox]

Hunnydd ! Travelling Ahrimane currently stranded in Oxford

Ahrimane tired mum, potential sire to Leo (?? •⁠ᴗ⁠•), adopter of strays into the travelling troupe and therefore wrangler of chaotic kine, one (1) rambunctious cainite and one (1) changeling. Girlbossing her way around the isles freeing folk from terrible situations and terribler men

[blorbocedes]

this milf wants to stay in saturday night and invites u over to watch true crime and a glass of wine 🍷😳 WDYD.....

[journey-to-the-attic]

lucifer acts like he's the type of guy who'd be into dark comedy or high-brow satire, and he is to some extent, but he in fact prefers to watch michael mcintyre walk around on stage going "wooo wooo" pretending he's hoovering

[pseudophan]

im so fucking bored i take it back dnp should have uploaded tonight

[in-tua-deep]

The thing about my mum is that she is extremely powerful and can just clean for hours without break, which is decisively not how I function

I’m moving into a new place and she has been helping and the way I have been dealing with this is declaring loudly every so often that it is time for my union break

[pierregaslays]

grief is so funny bc it’s made me such a nicer person but also the worst person you’ve ever met

[theeerealpunkin]

Yes I'm still doing this & I got the next part done & it's Sanders Sides again xD

Been a while since I drew the snake boi

Peek under the cut for the whole thing & to understand why like half of the tags are there lol

[laz-kay]

Upon watching Bob's Burgers for the first time, my dad has decided that Tina is the main character and he and I are Bob and Tina. I want to cry :')

[greaseonmymouth]

underrated aspect of being that age where your friends and same age cousins are in serious relationships and having kids is that inevitably some of them will wind up in relationships with step kids and for some reason that hits a lot harder than them just getting married. like getting married isn’t hard people do it all the time. but step kids? at our age? oh right we’re almost forty. as you were