#Why do I project my issues onto a triangle

[sticcmann]

MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING FOR SH and depictions of PSYCHOSIS

I spent days researching schizophrenia for this guy

[spockandstars]

I think that a lot of people take issue with the way the Spock/Chapel/T'Pring love triangle is presented in Strange New Worlds, but that sometimes this is dismissed as fans just being bitter spirk shippers. So here are a few reasons why I believe people are iffy on this plotline. (Disregarding the fact that we're disappointed that the showrunners didn't, and most likely won't, take the chance to do something really cool with Spock's legacy as a queer coded character...)

Firstly, it takes time away from other characters to address an element of Spock's story that has already been explored beautifully. (I will get into how this treats Chapel and T'Pring later...) Spock's struggle with his humanity and his anguish over the depth of his feelings for others (particularly Jim) is a focus in TOS and the movies, and if you're going to keep on talking about it, at least do it in a more creative way? This isn't to say that it shouldn't be acknowledged at all, seeing that it is a lifelong struggle for him, but by making it such a focus of the series they're not giving other interesting characters as much of a chance to develop.

Additionally, it has traditionally been understood that Spock coped with his inner turmoil by repressing his feelings. Over the course of his lifetime, he learns to embrace his human side more to become a more balanced and healthy person. SNW takes the approach of "young Spock was more human and horny!" which isn't necessarily bad, but they better be giving us an explanation for how he transforms so dramatically to the extremely repressed character he is in TOS. Maybe this is reaching too far, but this whole approach of young Spock just feels like an excuse to get hot ladies into his bed and to fulfill the fantasies of nerdy men who project onto him. This is the same Spock who scoffed at the idea of going to see dancers at a bar, who was immune to the charms of the sexy ladies in Mudd's Women, who only entertained women when drugged or when he needed to do so for a mission...

Furthermore, I believe it's a disservice to Chapel. On one hand, it does make her love for Spock seem more grounded in reality, which I appreciate. In TOS, it's pretty clear that Spock doesn't share her feelings and her crush is only really ever used as a means of ridiculing her. There goes silly Chapel again, trying to win over her unrequited love! It's not cool. But on the same token, making Spock the focus of her character yet again only further reduces her to nothing but that. Why can't we let the girl breathe and do other stuff? Sure, she does get some of the AOS Uhura treatment where she gets to be a generic cool badass lady, but this is in a way that is lacking in any real depth. Chapel deserves better.

I also don't love the way it treats T'Pring. Was it really necessary for her to be Spock's eye candy wife that he gets to bang and cheat on? In Amok Time, it's heavily implied that this was an arranged thing and that they hadn't seen each other since they were seven. If they really felt the need to include this relationship, it would have been so much cooler if they had explored it from that angle, with neither of them truly wanting to be together but being forced into it by societal expectation. Which of course, results in T'Pring using her intelligence to gain her freedom in Amok Time.

So yeah. Those are my main gripes with this whole thing. Overall, I think it's lazy writing that allows the writers to benefit from the nostalgia of legacy characters without developing them in actually meaningful or revolutionary ways.

[a-suspicious-lack-of-bagel]

too many beds: the couple gets to try them all and it's a bonding experience

accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss: they mistake your car for their getaway car. they're worried the police are chasing you; you calm them down cos why would the police chase you?

nice guy who hates only you: you get to have fun with the reason why and if you MUST you can make it enemies to lovers but the guy doesn't have a fuckton of red flags for once

academic rivals: Teacher Proxy War Edition: love this.

divorce of convenience: isn't that just what it's like to be disabled in america? the world is depressing.

too much communication: adhd can't shut up meets autism overstimulated by conversation. they adapt to eachother.

true hates kiss: curse of War and Famine. responsible rulers whose love for their respective peoples is marginally more than their hatred of eachother.

dating your enemies sibling: did someone say Awkward Family Dinners?

lovers to enemies: ah yes my parents /hj

hate at first sight: ah yes, me in primary school /hj

love triangle gets together: B and C bond over their love for A and realise they actually like eachother more. excellent.

fake amnesia: no matter how you do it, Dorothy Sayers did it better (I think it's a side plot in 9 Tailors?) - escaped British criminal steals identity, accidentally goes to war; fakes amnesia and attempts to live a quiet life in France

Soulmates fated to kill eachother - people are angsty about it but they don't care. they joke "you'll be the death of me". after 80 happy years together as A finally turns off B's life support, the faulty outlet electrocutes their frail heart.

strangers to enemies - the art of holding a grudge

not actually fake dating - "and they were roommates", bonus points for "if we're both single at X time let's date eachother"

too hot to cuddle: welcome to Australia, bitches. they cuddle anyway and one of them gets a heat rash (I Will project my skin issues onto nonexistent characters)

CEimbO runs company into ground: love interest fixes their shit. ends up running the company. is shocked when promoted to CEO. tony stark X pepper potts minus tonys PTSD.

nursing home au: HECK yeah would DEFINITELY read. the possibilities for hurt/comfort are limitless.

REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPTS

Too many beds

Accidentally kidnapping a mafia boss

Really nice guy who hates only you

Academic rivals except it’s two teachers who compete to have the best class

Divorce of convenience

Too much communication

True hate’s kiss (only kissing your enemy can break a curse)

Dating your enemy’s sibling

Lovers to enemies

Hate at first sight

Love triangle where the two love interests get together instead

Fake amnesia

Soulmates who are fated to kill each other

Strangers to enemies

Instead of fake dating, everyone is convinced that you aren’t actually dating

Too hot to cuddle

Love interest CEO is a himbo/bimbo who runs their company into the ground

Nursing home au

[multiple-authors]

6 August 2023

wIf I keep writing then the answers must surely come. Bad sleeping last night. In not the best sleeping routine. Since I was avoiding people yesterday, I ended up retreating to my room and fell asleep for a few hours. So I couldn’t sleep last night. Started watching ‘Triangle of Sadness’. Resonated with me. The issue of money. Trying to start off with a good morning. Got ready for a workout. Made some porridge. Sat writing in my room now. Trying to let today happen without it being too military. I just want to feel better. Every week or two I really should factor in a full rest day of no work or anything that requires me to show up, just let myself do what I want to do. Want to have another day away from everyone again. Keep everyone at a distance. Why do I want to keep everyone at a distance? I’ve also realised that I don’t want to... Lost my train of thought. I feel like I’m responding to the present with my past. If I let go, be in the present more, respond to the present by being in the present, what would happen? What’s thrown me the past few weeks is the fact that my bank balance is so appalling, and that I ran out of protein powder for smoothies in the morning before the gym. Worrying about money has stopped me, again. I’ve tried to ignore it. Not ignore it but just put it out of my mind and focus on what I can do to improve things. I can’t start my morning off right without the right food, I know I’ll feel sick if I try to work out with not enough in my system. How can I make sure this doesn’t happen again? Or that it doesn’t throw me off so much. Maybe I can settle for porridge instead. Need to do my washing when I’m back from the gym. If I just finish those paintings.

Realisations: - Respond to the present with the present version of myself - what I can become rather than what I have become - Always do something active in the morning... Start with lots of actions to get out of my head - Every week or two have a full rest day, just me – factor it in. It’s part of being productive. [ Why am I so obsessed with being productive? Something to do with time=money. ]

Had a phone call with my mum yesterday. I was kind of hesitant at first. When I’m not in a good place I don’t want to be vulnerable to my family because they start to think it’s something they’ve done. Or they try to help me. They give me advice without me asking. I don’t want anyone to come and save me. I want someone to just listen, validate how I feel. Not to judge me. Not to make it about them. I want to try to live unashamedly - with all the bad stuff happening and on show, not that I want it there - and I don't want to have people project their feelings about the situation onto me. I never felt like I could do or say how I felt. The feelings and emotions of others drowned out my own. I need to live out mine without feeling bad about them. I feel shame that I feel this way. The conversation with my mum slowly got better. We opened up to each other more. She shared the worries of her work life. We spoke about money. She said she wanted to send me twenty pounds a month to help me pay for my new bed frame. I could cry. I told her I didn’t want her to. I asked her not to. I said. I would prefer if she didn’t. She said she would prefer if she did. Nobody is going to save me but myself. I am the only one who can help myself. I need to look after myself, invest in myself, encourage myself. I am my own salvation.  I also don’t want to spend time with people. I am distancing myself from them. I would prefer to be on my own right now. I find comfort in being on my own. I don’t have to pretend. I don’t have to consider someone else’s feelings. I don’t have to perform. What happens if I can be vulnerable with someone else? Fully vulnerable. Never trying to appease how someone else feels. It seems very scary. Have I ever been fully myself? Who am I? I don’t know who I am. I am lots of people. I don’t know what to do. I am writing the thoughts that come to mind. I need to sneeze.  I ignore my friends sometimes. I distance myself*. I say I don’t have the time to spend with them (to myself). I say my social battery is exhausted. Which is true. I don’t have the answers. What would the best thing to do be? Rest for myself, set the boundaries, don’t feel ashamed. Organise time with friends. Keep making the effort. I just don’t feel like it half the time. Maybe I should place my focus on expressing what I need to do. I’m running out of steam for writing. I want the answers now.

[masterthespianduchovny]

I’m going to be honest: I dislike Nate right now.

And that’s perfectly fine.

I understand that this show loves to redeem people, however, as I said in another post, you can only redeem someone if there are negative feelings and/or you believe that person wronged someone or whatever. If you have positive feelings and excuse what they did, what exactly are they being redeemed for?

Despite loving Rebecca’s character, when I rewatch season one, I don’t like her at times. I dislike a lot of what she did back then. It doesn’t matter that I know she tells the truth eventually, the stuff she did was still fucked up. I’m not going to preemptively excuse her actions because I know the end goal.

Take Jamie for instance, his behavior was not okay. We know why he behaves that way, but it still wasn’t justified. We are still allowed to dislike him and what he did then. We talk about the negative effects of the bullying Nate received from the players, yet some try to excuse Nate’s bullying and his actions?

Wrong is wrong. Jamie being verbally abused by his dad didn’t justify how he treated others just like how Nate’s father (and bullying by others) is emotionally abusive doesn’t justify Nate’s behavior.

Although we understand the context, Nate IS being a fucking backstabbing asshole right now. Some may hate to hear that, but this isn’t an unfair opinion or unflattering light of him. This is exactly how he’s behaving.

There are some who has a ton of sympathy for Nate, but I’m not one of them. Please believe, I do hold some sympathy for him, but I have a limit.

So here’s reasons why Nate is on my shitlist and I’ll wait until he’s actually redeemed to forgive him.

1. Calling Rebecca a shrew. It’s not the fact that he literally called Rebecca this, but that he immediately verbally attacked the woman. We can say, “oh no, she’s the owner so he had reasons to think…”

No, Nate literally attacked Rebecca for no reason at all. She had little to no interaction with him and has never disrespected or harmed him in anyway, yet he has these intense feelings of dislike in the moment based off what exactly?

Nate attacked Rebecca because she is a woman. If you disagree, what other reason it might be? The reason I believe it was due to her gender is because she’s been defanged so to speak. So he doesn’t fear her like he used to. But Nate also practices in casual misogyny ie his shoe remark to Rebecca and Keeley. That may not seem like a big thing, but how is that an involuntary response??? With him believing he got fired, he doesn’t wait for answers, he immediately attacks her. And I had to ask myself, would he have done this with a man? With someone like Rupert? No fucking way. Nate can’t even directly challenge Ted who is a ray of sunshine, but attacks someone who he literally ran away from in fear in the pilot. Although Nate respects power, he respects male power the most. He skipped over Ted and Beard and went straight towards Rebecca. The fact that this even happened has always been disturbing to me. And Nate is fucking lucky that he hasn’t said any of his comments to old Rebecca (not age, but personality. 🥺) because she would have fired him. Only due to her relationship with Ted and him getting to let her guard down and find her old self that she frowned and shrugged Nate’s comments off. Most bosses at the very least would’ve talked to Nate and he didn’t get even that.

2. Projecting his daddy issues onto Ted. I understand that nate is going through some tough shit and has been for literally decades, however, that doesn’t mean make someone your stand in dad because they were nice and kind. Ted treats Nate like he does the other coaches, but Nate wants a special and unique relationship that will never exist. Ted is not his father and he didn’t ask for the job or the responsibilities.

I understand that people go through shit and latch onto those who made the rough times easier. I get that. However, all this animosity, scheming, and resentment because Ted isn’t giving the attention he wants. That fucking unfair to Ted. He didn’t ask or sign up to be Nate’s father figure. Yet he’s being punished for not being something he never wanted to be. Never even thought about it.

And because I’ve seen/partially experienced this shit, people getting mad at you for not being who they projected onto, it makes me upset at Nate. Because people like this really do become resentful and manipulative and that is not okay despite their own hurt that they’re dealing with. Why does the person you projected on have to suffer for something they’re unaware of and have no obligation to fulfill?

Nate isn’t just trying to blow up Ted’s professional career, he’s doing it via one of the cruelest ways: using his mental health against him. Thereby exploiting Ted’s trust in him.

Ted has literally changed Nate’s life for the better and rather than have a man to man talk with him, he cowardly tries to sabotage Ted in one of the worst ways imaginable.

3. His cognitive dissonance about how coaching works!!!

This seriously irritates me because, on some level, Nate knows that the very system he’s criticizing is how it works across ALL team sports and with reason.

He wants to be a damn head coach soooo bad—does he think ideas, plans, plays, etc only comes from head coaches???

What does he think assistants are there for?

For those who aren’t familiar with sports and coaching, literally every team sport has a head coach and then assistants under them. These assistant typically specialize in a given thing.

In American football, I believe there are like defensive coaches, strength and conditioning coaches, etc. there are coaches who watch a lot of tapes to learn the opposition and how to make plays to hold them exploit their weakness and tailor plays around that.

Like on the professional level there are so many types of coaches and, hell, not all of them want to be head coaches. Some of the greatest coaching minds aren’t head coaches.

For example, the American basketball team the Chicago bulls fired their coach Doug Collins in like 1989, I think. He was a good coach, but one of his assistant coaches had a basketball IQ out of this world. Doug refused to listen to him, but management fully supported this assistant coach. Now the other assistant coach they were grooming to take over, Phil Jackson, if you’ve heard of him, DID listen to this basketball genius. So much so that when he became head coach after Doug was fired, he continued to implement The Triangle offense that came from this basketball genius, which Phil was known for until he retired.

Nate’s upset that Ted gets all the credit for if they win, he does realize that Ted also gets all the blame for if they lose. Ted has always highlighted his coaching staff and everyone who helped him. He has always stressed that he wouldn’t be where he is without them. And when he loses, he takes full ownership. He doesn’t pass the blame at all.

Does Nate seem like someone who’d take ownership for losing?

Does Nate seem like someone, at this moment, who’d appropriately give credit to assistant or anyone else who helped him?

Would he even listen?

What makes Ted a great coach is that he gives others opportunities to step up to the plate and if/when they succeed, he allows them to shine.

Ted sees the fuller picture, for the most part, and knows how to address his weaknesses and who’s stronger than him in what area. He realized that the team needed a presence like Roy on the team. He knew he needed someone like beard who could absorb insane amounts of knowledge. He saw that Nate had potential coaching ability.

But Nate doesn’t understand the importance or value of this. He also doesn’t understand how instrumental Ted’s philosophy has been in transforming the culture of the team. That this is also a reason why the team is playing better.

So like, yeah, I’ll forgive Nate when he’s redeemed. But these three things are what really irks me about him. Just because I understand why he is acting this way doesn’t mean I have to excuse it when he’s being a dick to others, complaining about shit only due to his ego, and doing fucked up shit like leaking someone’s mental health struggles so he can gain an advantage over them.

Does he think that if Ted leaves/gets fired that he’s getting the job??? I mean hopefully whatever he has going on with Rupert works out (before it inevitably goes wrong) because this isn’t going to turn out how he thinks it will.

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | four

> series masterlist <

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)

words: 4.2k

warnings: implied sexual content, your friends are still extra, cussing / mature language, relationship issues, angst, making out, slight dry humping, you actually act on your hoe-ish thoughts because seokjinnie keeps testing you??

notes: 2nd member involved in this love triangle will be revealed next chapter and it’s actually gonna start getting messy. are you with me? 😈

tags: @laurynne5 @yiyi4657 @miinoongi @teamtardis-notdead @bluesharksandfish​ @photographic-girl (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

A couple of days have passed and you were only getting more giddy as time passes. It sounds stupid as hell, and sometimes you can't help but curse yourself for having a crush on someone so unattainable. The thrill, though, is what excites you, and knowing that there's a possibility Jin may reciprocate the same feelings. Since he had placed his number in your phone, he had sent you random, occasional 'have a good day!' texts and smiley faces. Maybe it didn't help that he was only fueling the fire by sending you texts like this. You couldn't help but ponder on the thought that you had crossed his mind from time to time, and that my friends, was fucking attractive.

"Her head game was on point." Taehyung smirked and leaned back in his chair, making Ryujin roll her eyes at him.

"You're sick, no one asked about your night."

"Why do you sound so mad, sweetie?" He leaned closer to her.

"I'm not mad." She scooted her chair away from him. "Can you believe this right now?" She shot you a look, but you were too busy texting on your phone, responding to the messages you couldn't get to earlier.

[jin] 3:05pm: I hope your day has been treating you well. See you soon?

[y/n] 5:37pm: Been a little busy, but hasn't been bad. :) Excited for class!

You laughed at yourself because who even says 'Excited for class' like that? You were really playing yourself right now.

"Earth to Mr. Kim's mistress?" You shot Taehyung a look and immediately shoved his face away.

"Jeez, you've been glued to your phone so much lately. Did you find new dick, or something?" Ryujin asked as she rested her chin on the palm of her hand.

"No, god. I've just been trying to keep myself occupied." She shrugs and doesn't press any further. Thank god, because you hadn't told any of your friends how Jin comforted you that evening and how he had given you his personal number just to check in every now and then. You didn't plan on telling them anytime soon, only because they'd be dramatic about it and you didn't have the energy to calm the chaos that would ensue.

"Speaking of - have you guys started the assignment due next week for Mr. Kim's class?" Jimin kept his eyes on the work in front of him.

"No. I'll probably do that the day of." Taehyung says as he texts on his phone.

"I was going to ask him for help later."

"Were you now?" Jimin rose his eyebrow, shooting you a look.

"Yes, and it's only because I can't choose which topic to write about."

"Why don't you ask us?"

"Because this always ends up being an open-ended debate and the conversation ultimately ends with no decision made." Jimin nodded in agreement.

"Touché."

"Bat your eyelashes while you're at it, kay?" Ryujin giggles.

"You guys are free to join me."

"Mmm no thanks, I don't think I need any help right now." Jimin responds.

"Same. Besides, I'd rather not cockblock."

"Honestly so sick of you guys." You all end up packing your things to head to Jin's classroom, all four of you entering one by one and taking your seats near the front. Class goes by rather quickly, you and Jin stealing glances from time to time. Ryujin, Jimin and Taehyung offer to wait up for you near the library and you simply nod, letting them know you'll only take a quick minute to talk about the assignment. Once they've disappeared from the hallway corridor, you turn on your heels to make your way over to Jin at the front desk, where he's arranging his things and getting them together.

"Y/N, hey." He smiles at you, tilting his head to look at you from his stance. "What's up?"

"I uh, just wanted to ask for your opinion about the assignment. If.. you aren't busy?" He chuckled and shook his head.

"No, not at all. What's going on?"

"Well, I've just been having trouble deciding on a topic." You placed your things down.

"Alright, try me." He nods towards the whiteboard, signaling for you to scribble your ideas onto the board so he could help you map out your thoughts. You quietly walk over, grabbing the only black whiteboard marker available and start talking through your thoughts. He sits on the desk, arms crossed, watching you scribble on the board. He chimes in every now and then, either agreeing or disagreeing, and providing his honest opinion as to what might work best for the assignment.

"Mm, okay. I think that makes better sense." You step back and take a look at the things you've crossed out and circled, leaving you to finalize the topic for your assignment.

"Yeah, I think so." He stands and nods in agreement. You turn to look at him, only to realize how close in proximity your body was to his. His hands are tucked into his pockets while he looks down at you. Both of you don't move, regardless of how close you two are at the moment. You feel stuck, and the only option that crosses your mind is something you shouldn't even be thinking about. Yet, you still act on it. You find yourself on your tippy-toes laying a kiss on his plump lips, but you quickly pull away and gasp, realizing what you had done.

"I-I'm so sorry, I-" You stutter as you step back to try and quickly grab your things. "I gotta go." You dash out of the room, your heart beating through your chest. As soon as you were far as possible from his room, you slowed your pace to gather your breathing. You facepalmed so hard because what the fuck! You felt dumb as hell for acting the way you did, let alone for thinking his texts and all the attention even meant anything.

Way to fucking go, Y/N. You could feel how embarrassing next class will be already.

As soon as you spot your friends, you try to put on a smile and brush the thoughts out of your head when you see them waving you over. Jimin instantly throws his arm around your shoulder, helping you feel at ease as you momentarily forget about the events that just transpired.

"Ready? We're gonna go grab some pizza before heading home." You smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'm down."

Jin grabbed his things, feeling a little conflicted about what just happened. He knew this was something that shouldn't have happened, nor should it ever happen again. Yet, he wanted more of this feeling you gave him. He longed for it. He couldn't explain the feeling he got when he felt your lips against his, he just knew he was interested in more. It was bad as fuck, but it was the same thrill you felt that peeked his interest.

Jin pulled into the lot of him and Grace's house, seeing he was the first one home yet again. It wasn't a surprise to him anymore, and quite frankly, he was used to being home first all the time. It would have been a surprise if Grace was here before he was. Not gonna lie, after what happened, it makes him feel a little empty inside. He's starting to feel like he wanted more of you and to see you outside of campus grounds. He wanted your company and enjoyed your presence, inside of the classroom and even through simple things like text. It just made him happy, and like he was appreciated. Wanted.

Yeah, that quick. He was starting to crave you.

He kicked off his shoes by the door and changed into comfier clothes. He took some time to work out at their home gym before eating whatever leftovers were left in the fridge. He happily warms up his food and quickly gobbles it up, leaving the dishes in the sink for him to get to later. He hops into a hot, relaxing shower, letting the heat hit his back and relax him from all the stress he had been experiencing lately. It was so relaxing that he didn't even hear Grace shut their front door. He only found out he wasn't alone when he heard dishes being washed and slammed onto the dish rack and cabinet doors being slammed shut. He dried himself off a bit, before wrapping the towel around his waist and heading into the kitchen to see what the commotion was.

"Hey, you're home." He says with a smile on his face, but she continued to place dishes on the rack without looking at him.

"Yeah, and you couldn't even think to wash your dishes and clean up the kitchen?" His smile immediately turned into a frown when he realized Grace was far from being in a good mood. Over what? Dishes that he was eventually going to wash anyways?

"I was going to get to them."

"Jeez, Jin. I've had such a long day, the least you could do is help out and clean up after yourself." She glared at him.

"Woah, hey. I do my part around here. Just because I didn't do my dishes right away doesn't mean I don't do anything at all under this house."

"Hasn't seemed like it." She walked away, brushing him off completely. If it's one thing Jin could point out about his fiancé, it was the fact that she liked to project when she was upset. It was the one thing that drove him crazy, and the one thing he felt like couldn't be fixed. It was just in her nature, no matter how many times they've fought and argued about it. He tries to be patient and understanding. He tries to relate. Yes, I'm sorry you had a bad day. But just because you had a bad day, doesn't mean you bring the negative energy into this house.

"That's not fair, Grace."

"Grow up, Jin." She snapped as she headed upstairs. "I'm going up to pack and head to bed." He continued to watch her, appalled at the attitude she was throwing tonight. He really couldn't understand why this was happening over some dishes. He didn't wanna be here right now, and he wasn't going to deal with this shit. To be honest, he was feeling a little relieved knowing he'd get some space from her when she flies to New York for a week. She had some work to do for the opening of her restaurant down there, plus some related projects for her book.

He heads upstairs to throw on some jeans, a hoodie and a hat before passing Grace in their walk-in closet.

"Off for a drive again, huh?" She says as she keeps her eyes on the luggage laid out in front of her. It's sad that Grace knows what Jin does whenever he doesn't wanna deal with her attitude. But, no matter how many times he's tried to communicate and talk it out, it never mattered to her.

"Yeah, because it doesn't seem like you can communicate properly tonight."

"And how is a drive supposed to help?" She turns to look at him, but he doesn't say anything. She scoffs before returning her attention back to the clothes she was packing into her luggage. "Perfect. Run away from our issues, Jin. It's what you do best." He shook his head and sighed.

"I'm not doing this with you tonight, Grace. Not over some dishes that were eventually going to get washed and fixed." He walked out, but turned back on his heel to finish off his thoughts. "You know, I really wanted to have a nice night with you. Pop some wine and put on a movie, just to enjoy being in each other's presence since it feels like we haven't done that in a really long time. But, so be it." He threw his hands up in defeat and continued to walk out. He really did want to try, though. Part of him felt like he needed to because he was probably just longing for that attention from his fiancé, which is why he had been feeling the way he had been about you. Maybe it would have helped him brush it off like it was a silly, little crush. However, tonight just amplified those feelings he had for you and he wanted nothing more but to just see you and hear your voice.

He lowers the brim of his cap as he walks to his car, instantly starting it up and driving off. At first, he was conflicted. He wasn't sure if he was making the right decision or not, or if his judgment was cloudy. But something in him tweaked and made him say, fuck it. He was tired, and for once, he just wanted to feel wanted.

You sat on your living room floor, putting together a vision board for yourself. A ton of magazine cut outs and printouts laid alongside of you, waiting to be organized onto the small white board. You had been rearranging the layout for quite some time, feeling a little frustrated at the perfectionist in you. This definitely could have been quicker if you hadn't picked at the fine details too much. It was nearing 10:30pm; after you and your friends had ate pizza together, you all went your separate ways, tired from this week's events already. You especially didn't want to linger around, the thought of you kissing Jin in the classroom still haunting you. You felt your phone vibrating off to the side, signaling a call coming in.

Speak of the devil.

You hesitate, afraid that this had to do with what happened earlier and to be frank, you weren't sure if you were ready to deal with the repercussions just yet. The call ends, but a text notification pops up at the top of your screen.

[jin] 10:27pm: Are you free right now?

[y/n] 10:28pm: Sorry, yeah I am. What's up?

[jin] 10:29pm: Can we meet up?

You stare at your phone, unsure if you should take the opportunity to see him. It could mean a lot of things, or it could mean nothing. It could be about the kiss, or it couldn't be. But, you can't help but feel a little guilty that he had been there for you when you needed someone and here you were, contemplating if you should blow him off.

[y/n] 10:32pm: Sure. Is everything okay?

[jin] 10:32pm: I think, kind of just need some good company.

[y/n] 10:33pm: Oh, okay. Yeah, I'll come. Just let me know where.

You watch as he drops his location into the message, and it's not too far from where you live. You actually are quite familiar with the area to know that he's sending you up to a view that overlooks the Bay Bridge. You and your friends used to go there often during undergrad, just to eat edibles and eat hella junk food. Those were the days. You all quickly outgrew it though.

The drive up is a little scary, with only a few street lights posted as you drive up the hill. You catch a glimpse of Jin's car, being that he's already leaning against it, facing the view. You pull up into the empty spot next it, taking a deep breath and recollecting your thoughts before stepping out. Whatever it is, just be honest. That kiss was because you wanted to kiss him, but perhaps you misread the vibe about everything.

Not perhaps. You for sure misread the vibe about everything. He's fucking engaged. There was no way.

"I brought you brownie." Is the first thing you say as you hand him a ziploc with a huge brownie square. "There's no weed in it or anything, I promise it's clean." He chuckles as he takes it from you. "I just figured you could use a picker upper since you seemed like you might've need it."

"Thank you." His trunk had been open, so he takes a seat and invites you to sit next to him. You leave a bit of space just to be sure, since you already crossed your boundaries earlier and you weren't even sure how that was gonna play in to tonight.

"So, what's on your mind?" You dread asking him the question but you knew there was a reason he brought you out here.

"I, uh. Just had a pretty tough day and wanted to surround myself around good company." He turned to look at you.

"Oh, so I made the good company list?" You chuckle.

"Yeah, you did." He looks back out at the view. You examine him, his body language still a little tense from whatever he had just experienced.

"Was it Grace?" You ask softly and he nods in return.

"We've just been having issues. It's no biggie."

"No biggie, huh? Then why are we out here looking at the bay bridge?" He chuckles again. You think it's cute the way his dimples under his eyes pop out when he smiles and laughs.

"Touché. I mean, what if I just wanted to hang out with someone who could cheer me up?"

"Wow, then that's a lot of pressure on me." You laugh. "I can already tell something's wrong. You were there for me, so I just want you to know that I'm all ears." He sighed.

"It's kind of dumb? Maybe not? Me and Grace just haven't been the same for awhile now."

"How so?"

"We're just distant. We haven't done things together like we used to because we're both busy and so wrapped up with work."

"Jin." You smile shyly because this couldn't be a serious excuse. You always need to try and make things work! "You know being busy shouldn't be an excuse, right?"

"I know, I know." He shakes his head. "I'm sorry, it's difficult to explain. I question if we're still in love with each other or if we're just sticking to this because we're comfortable."

"Deep down, I know you still love and care for her."

"I do. It's been hard to show that these past months. I guess.. what I'm trying to say is that it's been easy to focus more on the negatives than the positives. There have been more negatives than positives."

"Why don't you sit her down and talk about this?"

"I can't. I try, but I really can't. She's always coming home in a nasty mood all the time."

"Well, she might have a lot to balance on her plate. Not everyone approaches things the same way and if you know Grace easily shuts people out when she's overwhelmed or stressed, then I think you just need to continue supporting her by simply being there for her."

"I know." He looks down at his hands.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking. I hear you loud and clear though." He smiles at you toothlessly.

"Try talking to her. Work it out. I know she's important to you."

"She is but," He shakes his head once more. "I can't shake off this feeling."

"What feeling?"

"It's going to sound stupid."

"Nothing is ever stupid." He simply looked at you before responding.

"Earlier, in the classroom—" Fuck, you thought. You thought you had just gotten lucky tonight and that you both had put it past you so that you could move on without ever mentioning it. But half of you knew you'd still have to confront your mistake either way. Nothing was ever that easy.

"Jin, I'm so sorry, I didn't think about—"

"I didn't want you to stop." He spits out, causing you to stop mid-sentence. Your eyes widened after you had just registered what he had said. Was he fucking playing with you right now? This shit really couldn't be real.

"W-what?"

"I can't shake off this feeling because of you and as bad as it sounds, I really don't want that to go away."

"Jin." You say softly. "You should really work this out with Grace. This feeling is just temporary and you know it is because she's your fiancé. What happened earlier was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened." It kind of sucks, but it's true. You don't really know why you did what you did and what you wanted out of it. You knew what this would entail and it would be too messy. People would just end up getting hurt left and right. It would be a domino effect.

"Was it though?"

"I'm not trying to get in between you two." You beat around the bush with your response.

"Then, what did you want out of that earlier?" He stares at you. You can't help but feel yourself melt at the way he's eyeing you and the way he's actually teasing the fuck out of you with his piercing eyes.

"I don't know." He continues to stare, but this time his face is edging closer to yours.

"You can't even tell me straight up that it was nothing." He says, almost at a whisper. Your knees are starting to buckle beneath you and although you knew you needed to stop this, you couldn't see yourself doing it right at this moment.

"We shouldn't be doing this." You whisper, his lips inches away from yours at this point.

"Then why aren't you stopping me, Y/N?" No response. Before you knew it, your eyes were shut as your lips pressed against his. The feeling of his lips sent chills down your spine, his hand now tugging you closer to his body. You waste no time straddling his lap, deepening the kiss as your hands rest on his face and your hips grind against his. God, he was so fucking attractive and everything about him drove your ass crazy. You wanted him.

But you couldn't have him.

"Stop, stop." You edged your head back, reality settling in once his hands start to dip inside your sweats. "We really shouldn't be doing this." You climb off of him and gather your things.

"Y/N, wait."

"Jin." You turn to look at him. "Listen to me. We would never work."

"I wouldn't say never—"

"Look, this is already difficult as is and I'm trying really hard not to make this even more complicated for anyone. At the end of the day, you're still with Grace. You're still engaged to Grace." You emphasized. "I can't get in between you two, and I don't want to hurt her." How in the fuck did things escalate so quickly? How did we get here?

"I know that, and I know you don't. But you can't tell me that you didn't feel anything just now."

"I'm not saying that I didn't. I did, I-I do." You stuttered on your own words. "But I shouldn't be acting on it and neither should you. You should really focus on working things out in your relationship. I know deep down you love her and want to make this work."

"That's the thing, Y/N. I don't know how else I can make this work with her. I've ran out of options."

"Jin, you planned to marry her! You do understand that you can't just give up on someone like that, especially your future wife."

"As much as I appreciate this and understand where you're coming from, you don't know our relationship."

"I just don't want you to give up on her. I want you to try for her, not just because I told you so." He can see how serious things have turned, and  he knew you were right. This would be complicated. But damn, was he undeniably attracted to you and he loved the feeling he got from all of this.

"I-" He sighs. "You make me feel things that I haven't felt in a long time."

"You have your life planned out already, and so does Grace. You obviously saw a life and a future with her, and that's what you should continue building. I don't even know how to get from point A to point B in life and I still have shit to learn. Like-like changing car lights or how to do a fucking oil change by myself! I'm a mess. I'm not the one you should be thinking about."

"I don't care about that." He spits out as he gently grabs your wrist and turns you to face him.

"Don't make this harder than it already is." With all this shit going on, you still found yourself wanting him the same way you did earlier. Looking at him made you want to do unspeakable things and it didn't help that he gave you the green light to do so.

The temptations.

"I'm not trying to."

"We should really keep our distance from each other, okay? You need to work things out and I'm going to give you the space to do so."

"Fuck, Y/N. I really don't want that."

"I'm sorry." You whisper as you break free from his grip and get back into your car. You hear him groan, causing you to cry to yourself as you drive off and get back home. One mistake turned everything upside down, and now everything was suddenly 10x more complicated than it ever was in the beginning. You couldn't help but curse yourself and blame yourself for letting this happen the way it did.

But shit is done. The mistake happened. There was no taking it back.

You just needed to give him space to get over it, and that would be the end of it. Easy.

Or so you assume.

[sun-to-my-luna]

WJH: Salsa Bowl

First I’ll start with most logical. Let me break it down to you in a simple triangle. Becky’s Marketing Agency 3 weeks ago decided they felt like her podcast was lacking a lot in the LatinX department and so they dragged Lauren into her podcast to spice things up a little bit by talking about Pride.... AND spice things up they did. 

Interesting enough I found out that Lauren’s ex manager and current manager follow the guy in charge of Becky G’s marketing. Therefore getting Lauren on her podcast series really wasn’t that hard. We’ve already been through this but there are always ties between everything, everywhere,  the more you dig.

For some background: She toured with Fifth Harmony in 2017.  She knows. She’s interacted with them behind the scenes. It would be highly impossible for her not to know.  Take for example the opening act on the 7/27 tour, “CamrynRocks.”  They toured with Fifth Harmony once, and then out of all the things to possibly like, randomly liked camren posts on Instagram.

One thing a lot of people all seem to forget is that Becky G is under (SMG. aka SONY music), and she like everyone else most likely already KNOWS about camren.

...Especially, after she was dragged into Camila and Austin’s PR stunt by him calling Becky his “first REAL girlfriend.” Are we forgetting about that too? Yikes, Camila was exposed for being his fake girlfriend. When did this happen in 2015. Interesting.

Moving on.

Here’s my opinion knowing the above. The interview was all fine and dandy until Becky asked Lauren about her coming out.  That’s where I personally was taken a back. The reason her labels have an issue or might have a problem with controlling her is because of the fact that she’s too vocal. However, when it comes to Camila, not a single peep or mentioning of Camila’s name has happened. In years. Out of her own mouth or on social media. Sure an interviewer asked her in Spanish if she would collaborate with her, but she didn’t initiate that. Now suddenly out of nowhere in an uncalled for manner she says her name not just once but more than twice. That’s definitely an upgrade. Heck she’ll probably even say happy birthday Camila, next year.

Word choice makes a difference. For Lucy it was so easy for Lauren to mention her in the podcast as just “this one girl,” and not by her name.  I think that was done purposefully to deflect the fact that CAMILA was/is not just A GIRL.  She was apart of Fifth Harmony. The girl band that had an image to uphold and now she’s Camila.  Lauren could’ve easily decided to do the same for Camila as she did for Lucy. She could have not mentioned her name in order to project her frustration and  everyone would have know it was about her still but she didn’t. Had she said, “ everyone was assuming me and a friend or me and someone close” it would not have made the same impact on camren shippers as stating her name. Not stating Lucy’s name, but stating Camila’s is important to keep in mind. While I do understand that being in the spotlight does affect how you feel about yourself especially when you’re queer in my opinion she wasn’t actually expressing her current emotions. Throughout her whole interjection she was projecting/gas-lighting  negative emotions she felt in her teenage years onto camren. An example of that is her calling fans invasive and stating that “fans” leaked the photos of her and Lucy kissing.  WHICH IS NOT TRUE. Fans did not leak those photos. In fact I don’t  know about you, but I was sitting at home, and didn’t even know where the fuck she was. No one knew where she was. Those photos were protected by a password and  came out of nowhere and then Perez Hilton wrote his stupid article and outed her. That’s when we found out she was at a wedding with Lucy. We did not out her and the fact that she accused “fans” of doing that is projection. She also had to emphasize that she loved that person? But for what reason? Trying to make people believe that you loved them? We already addressed this during Tyren, but there’s no reason to emphasize something unless you’re subconsciously trying to make people actually believe what you’re saying. Instead of just saying it. The last thing I have to say is Billboard may have not reached out to her for a statement, but you don’t simply get a billboard article for yourself unless you’re trying to do some PR damage...against camren rumors? Cause a Laucy breakup followed before/after that let’s not forget it. The thing that will never make sense to me is that she was also affection to all the other girls, and there were other ships as well, but if she was so concerned about how she acted with them, why not give a fuck about those but give a fuck about camren? When there’s nothing to hide, you don’t care so much about it, and you certainly don’t bring it up from the dead. I feel like camren simply was an easy projection for internalized homophobia and emotions she didn’t want to express or feel. In a way she was also protecting Camila in this podcast. That’s it. That’s all I have to say about the subject. The only thing it left me wondering with is where Tyren fits into the timeline cause that was a fucking mess.

[wolfwhiteflowers]

I keep trying to understand other shippers's thoughts on why they're so upset. I wanna help but I'm confused. But I think I already covered those issues they have in many of my posts I posted and reblogged. 🌰🌰

And so I guess I explain it again lol...

There's like many reasons why some fans are upset. It seems like the main one I guess is saying Daryl was ooc for ... I would say "loving" Carol-lite years ago. And him getting mad in present time at Carol.

Tbh from the spoilers and stuff I don't know why most shippers think Daryl was super out of character or to think writers suddenly crammed a super ooc story to it. It all seem reasonable to what he/writers did imo.

But uh idk it seems th fans are upset is about the quotes of Daryl and ships. Daryl loving someone and when it happens for him it's forever. U know that quote NR would say, and Kang mentioned Caryl are like soul mates. Idk but I feel a lot of people have different interpretations on the quotes and high? expectations onto Daryl then.

First, what I always think of (any) the show is that the show is still going on and had 6 bonus episodes and a 24 episodes in season 11. Writers always got to make drama and conflict.. to be entertaining and get us speculating to what is to come. Therefore a lot of drama for Caryl. 🎢

Anyways, for Daryl having a gf in the past (while CZ were together) is alright with me. He couldn't be with Carol. And of the six years he had one gf. Its still in-character to me for Daryl to take his time and grow and was open for a gf. I always think of him as idk like a slowburn dater. When he dates he's commited to the person(not casual dater). I don't think its like realistic? to expect Daryl to wait till Carol dates him or die waiting for Carol. It's like he can try to live on and date someone ..when all he knows Carol was married at the time. Another thing with the quotes it's like they meant imo that what Daryl does is slow burn way. Idk I mean he can try and he's allowed to make mistakes (tv drama) and date someone who isnt right for him. Anyway I think Caryl is endgame and I think writers challenged it by putting angsty plots on like Daryl being depressed and found someone who is similar to Carol and settled. Which means first gf in the show for him is still about Caryl. And that the way (based on spoilers) writers showed D/L being implied as a couple and explained in one episode it means it's not worth to get invested in them.(it's like CZ,I'm suspecting) So in a way, imo, Daryl is still pining and loving Carol, his soul mate, who he settled with Leah years ago because Carol was taken. S10 Caryl moments still matter. I think Leah in s11 will challenge the Caryl relationship more and Caryl will have to really face their feelings in their relationship.. with romantic topics and stuff. Maybe Carol will get jealous. 👀 Like I think the love triangle(or something like that) will happen, arguments n talk about the letter, are to get Caryl closer to being canon. I think in s11 Daryl will figure out what he truly wants and maybe realizes Leah isn't who he wants. And Carol will learn she has feelings for him and is ready for relationship with him. Just tv drama 🎢

And Daryl getting mad(he really cares which makes him react) at Carol in end of Find Me. Idk I just wanted them to talk it out more. I guess Daryl was projecting to Carol leaving, of the cabin & letter , Leah been gone, and Carol on rage that she didn't listen(sucidial?) In s10b. Idk ... I might have done the same thing. They just need to talk. I know they're good hearted people and they will work it out. ...And again the ep is about Caryl. (Ship, drama.)

Ok anyway..

I realize Fandom bothers me recently because partly (twitter) of saying things hurtful in general..im too sensitive. Also I'm kinda realize once again i have unpopular opinions in the fandom. So I usually just try ignore fandom noise. Wait and see... Writers and actors do care even though I may disagree with the story or show business things.

[marksinn]

Passion Project: Inspiration

I don’t think I’m starting at the beginning with this post. Keep your eyes peeled for later posts that explain what I’m doing and why.

After a month of thinking about, sketching and painting designs, I have finally done something. Essentially, recently watching two films has pushed me into action, and a part of me is ashamed to admit it. There isn’t a word count or any typesetting to curtail my thoughts here, so strap in.

When I created this brief I figured I’d draw a million wee skateboards, colour a few of them in, then fling my favourites into Adobe illustrator and make them look good. From there I would take the 5 best up to the skatepark and ask some of the patrons there which designs stood out to them. Next, I would adapt the three front-runners and create sweet PhotoShop mockups that would show what my designs would look like as skateboards. If I had the time, inclination or money by the end of the project, I would have the design laid onto a real skateboard (I’ve been looking to buy a new one for some time) and then be proud of myself.

So I’ve drawn some wee skateboards. Then I started upscaling the designs onto the floorboards of my loft:

This was an exercise to let me see how small things need to be adapted to be blown up. Skateboards can have any level of detail that you like on them, I hadn’t considered this until I was trying to draw a semi-perfect triangle for the traffic cone, or until I was using chalk to recreate four cubes. It’s also been fun to work with different media on chipboard - I have learned that most kinds of pencil, paint, chalk and charcoal do not like being used on chipboard. Decorating paint, however, has no such issues. Thanks, Dulux!

And so, with a few of these under my belt, I decided to try some digital designs. So I jumped into Illustrator and totally ignored my sketchbook, coming up with three designs that were all inspired by the day I had just had. The top design, I’ll focus on last, for reasons that will become apparent (unless you follow me on Instagram, where you’ll already know that it’s an absolute hit, with over 19 likes already!). I was told by a guy at the skatepark that he likes decks with very basic designs, just a colour or two, nothing overly detailed. Another skater told me that he often likes the basic wood background with one small emblem or sticker just beside the wheels.

The duo-tone design felt nice, I’m usually one for over-complicating things. I definitely have an attitude of “If there’s more in it, there’s a greater chance someone will find something they like”. The first colour choice put my girlfriend in the mind of a hand-bag she had seen photographed in the arms of Carrie Fisher - it was designed to look like a Prozac pill. So I changed the colours up, and added the separating black lines and textures to give it some subtle character. I then went full meta with the Minimal design. And, if I’m being honest, I’m incredibly happy with how it looks like a wee character. Expect to see that making a comeback in the very near future. But the top design is what really got me going. 

I’ve recently been watching...

...Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and have been loving Miles Morales’ multiple hobbies of graffiti, mixing beats and saving his neighbourhood from a variety of dangers. 

I then went to the cinema to see In The Heights, telling the tale of the Latin community during a blackout in North Manhattan. I found myself wrapped up in the romance, tribulations and music of the cast, and was felt oddly proud of Lin Manuel Miranda - who wrote this as a stage-musical while he was in college, had a modicum of success with it, then went on to create Hamilton, one of the most important musicals of our time. With the success of that particular show taking the entire world by storm, he was given the opportunity to make his old, relatively only semi-popular play into a blockbuster film. You can’t help but be inspired by someone like that.

I often find towards the end of a film I’m inspired by the characters’ journeys: be that from zero to hero, from lonely to loved or from rags to riches. Then I walk out and carry on with my normal life doing normal things. And as the hero of the story’s dreams all came true in the closing minutes (sorry for the spoiler, but it’s a musical, they rarely end in despair), a thought floated across my mind:

I’m utterly sick of being inspired

Now, to my credit, I did figure out in the car home that ‘tired’ would be a far more fitting and rhythmic word to use in this sentence, but this was a mentality that I found resonated really strongly with me. I’m very good at being inspired, I think most people are. We hear stories of people starting their own business, achieving some sporting brilliance or overcoming a personal hurdle and we say “Wow, isn’t that inspiring?” or

“It really inspires you to go out and make a difference!” or

“They are such an inspirational speaker!”

Then we go off about our day, not acting on the inspiration, and, for the most part, remaining uninspired. So I decided to act. 

I did some very quick research (/acquiring of images of graffiti) in order to get the right shapes and textures to create a spray paint effect in Illustrator. I did some very quick research (/confirming the colours) of South American flags, taking the blue and red used in flags of the home nations of Miles Morales from Spider-Man and Usnavi from In The Heights. And I created the top design.

YES! I had been inspired and I had drawn a wee picture to show that - I had acted on my inspirations!

Then I looked to my left and spotted three, blank skate decks that I had bought on a whim from Re:Ply (a wonderful wee company who do a great deal of charity work supplying boards to people who need them, selling boards to people who can afford them, and for a very reasonable fee, providing unusable decks to people who want to use them for artistic purposes). I realised I hadn’t acted on my inspiration, I had just drawn a few pictures of skateboards with the eventual aim of PhotoShopping them onto other pictures of skateboards.

So I took myself...

... into the city centre with a shoddily prepared speech: “I’m looking for some cheap, small cans of spray paint. I’ve no idea what I’m doing, or if I’ll be good at it, so don’t want to invest too much into this.” Hiding behind this self-deprecating shield I barged into multiple art-, pound- and model-shops and pleaded with the staff to help a young idiot out. Amazingly, a very kind shop assistant pointed me in the direction of Fat Buddha, a clothes shop I’d always ignored as it seemed a bit to “...” for me. I don’t know what it seemed, but I knew it wasn't my kind of shop. Happy to prove me wrong, the guys in there were super helpful and they helped me buy my first cans of spray paint. 

Now I’d spent money...

... and as a skinflint, that meant I had to get use out of my purchases. I had tricked myself into being inspired. Inspiration led me to the drawing, inspiration had led me to buy decks and the paint, now inspiration had to make me spray paint.

I’ll stop yammering on now. Essentially, I had planned on creating some analogue designs then digitising them (I’m guessing I should do a post on my brief, yeah? Might just upload the PDF to save me talking more), but then I found that I was doing the complete opposite. Genuinely accidentally. I had played with a few typefaces from various websites to get fonts that represented the ideas I wanted. The top one was semi-stolen (I can’t use the word ‘inspired’ any more in this post) from the end credits of In The Heights. The larger font is something of a nod to inspirational quotes you see on Facebook or on glittery frames in B&M.

I printed those out and cut them into stencils (very impressed that my digital boards have been drawn to a workable scale, thanks Maths). And after putting down a tack-layer (GRAFFITI JARGON (I think)) I sprayed the whole lot in blue.

Next, I tried to get a little fancy. Using cardboard blockers to create straight lines I added stars* (borrowed from the Puerto Rican flag) and made the bottom stripes vaguely reminiscent of America’s Old Glory.

I peeled the lettering off, and I’d done it. I may have to explain the overtly-negative inspirational quote to people, but to me it’s a clear sign that there’s no point in just being inspired, and that’s all I wanted.

A weight I didn’t know I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders. The plan was to possibly end up with a self-designed skateboard. And now I have one.

*Yes, I know they’re crosses.

[nataliedanovelist]

GF - How A Star Is Born ch.IX

Hercules AU, founded by @evaroze, whom this fic is a gift for. I hope y’all like it!

ch.VIII - ch.X

AO3 link

~~~~~~~~~~

Mabel never thought the day would come when Grunkle Ford would ask her to go down to Earth. Sure, she was allowed to go visit as long as she was hidden and back at Olympus at a certain time, but she never thought she would be standing before her father-figure and be asked to specifically go down to Earth, but here she was.

“I… I want you to check on Stanley.” Grunkle Ford asked solemnly. “And Mason, too, for that matter. See if they’re alright.”

“Um… okay.” Mabel was a bit unsure if she dared believe his instructions. “You want me to go down there and pay them a visit?”

“No.” Grunkle Ford said. “I’m sorry, but no. I want to project yourself onto the art of Thebes and see if they’re alright. Bill says Stanley isn’t… with him, but he is very busy thanks to a small war in the Middle East. Do not make yourself known, simply see if they’re both okay.”

Mabel smiled slyly at him. “You want me to spy on our mortal family members?”

Grunkle Ford sighed and nodded. “Yes.”

“YES!” Mabel cheered and punched the air. “Finally, a chance to use my sneaky peaky spy skills!” And she ran out of the temple, tripping and breaking a vase along the way.

And so Mabel went down to Earth, traveling from statue to statue, painting to painting, floor art to floor art, all throughout Thebes. She had never been to the Big Olive and was excited to see the new place and to find Dipper and Stan’s home.

It was well into the night at this point. The stars twinkled and the night air was warm and soothing. Mabel thought he heard a familiar voice filled with laughter, and she looked down the street and grinned widely from the stem of a birdbath. She was ecstatic to see her brother on a date with a beautiful young lady; she decided to follow them and listen carefully. This was also good reassurance that Stan was okay; Dipper wouldn’t have left his side otherwise.

“Wow, what a day.” Dipper sighed. “Dinner by the ocean, that play… oh boy, I thought I had problems.”

Pacifica and Dipper both laughed, but one was having to force it more than the other. Slowly, steadily, Pacifica could feel herself becoming distracted. She had to focus. Her freedom was on the line. Still, as much of a nerd Wonderboy may be, able to tell the measurement of an item by glancing at it and solve impossible equations in his head in a second, he was actually a really nice guy. Getting tired of pretending, she decided to try a bit harder to find Dipper’s weakness so this whole thing could end.

Walking down some steps, Pacifica faked a trip at the last step. Dipper caught her swiftly and Pacifica winced. “Ugh, I think I stepped funny, landed on my ankle wrong.”

“Ouch,” Dipper sympathized. While he may have super god-like strength, that didn’t mean he never twisted an ankle or bent a wrist wrong, a small pain but no damage or hardly an injury. “Here, we can sit for a sec.” And he scooped her up gently and carried her to sit on the edge of a giant water fountain, the same water fountain Mabel was projecting herself into the heart of the small wall, eagerly hoping her twin would at least get a kiss.

“Oh. Thanks.” Pacifica was a bit taken back by his extra effort in manners, but quickly reminded herself that with strength like his picking up a girl was nothing. So she moved on with her plan. “So, do you have any issues with weak ankles?”

“Hm? Oh. No, not really.” Dipper chuckled.

Pacifica giggled alongside him and sat closer. “Really? No trick knee?” She asked slyly. “No bad shoulder?”

Dipper was blushing heavily, a bit uncomfortable with the praise and trying to remain humble as he gave an honest answer. “No, I’m… I’m pretty healthy…” And his smile dropped at remembering that the same couldn’t be said for Stan.

Pacifica rolled her eyes, ready to give up on her quest. Bill would just have to find some other way to kill him. She then noticed how down Dipper appeared, much more so than he had been all night, and before she realized what she was doing, she asked, “Hey, you okay?” Pacifica instantly bit her lip. Why did she say that? And why did she actually care?

Dipper looked at her with heavy eyes and sighed tiredly. “It’s Stan. He’s… He’s not well.”

Pacifica softened a little. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Dipper looked up at the stars to make it easier to talk. “It’s just… he… I dunno. I was raised in an orphanage until I was twelve and went looking for him. Stan’s looked after me ever since, and… and he feels like family. I’ve never had one, and… it sometimes feels like he’s all I got.” Dipper was being very careful not to talk about the fact that he had a family waiting for him, but after only talking to Mabel here and there for so long, having never met them in the flesh or been at home, it sometimes felt like Stan was truly the only one there for him.

Pacifica scoffed and stood up to make some distance. “Family isn’t that great.”

Dipper blinked and stood to follow her down the street. “What do you mean?”

“I dunno, people just make such a big deal over families or whatever.” Pacifica complained. “It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. They’re just a bunch of people who would turn their backs on you just as quickly as anyone else.”

Dipper was a bit taken back by the harshness of her tone, but he shook it off to try to comfort someone who was clearly hurt. “That’s not true. Some families, sure, maybe. But not all families are like that.”

Pacifica gave him a sharp look. “How would you know?”

Dipper was a bit hurt by that, but it only made him more determined to change her mind. He took her hand as they were at the doorstep of his home, and he said firmly, “My family might be really small, and kinda broken, but it’s still an amazing family. We look after each other. We care for one another. And… And you could be a part of that.” Dipper bit his lip. Why did he say that? And why did he actually mean it?

It was Pacifica’s turn to be dumbstruck. She shook her clear to try to clear it and said, “I gotta go. Goodnight, hero.” And she kissed his hand, let go, and hurried down the street.

Dipper’s mouth was open so wide a fly nearly threw in, but luckily he coughed it out before he accidentally swallowed it. He brought his lucky hand up shakingly to smile at it, swearing he would never use it for anything ever again. Okay, maybe for one thing.

Mabel, meanwhile, knew that Pacifica liked Dipper and hurried after her, ready to perform a musical number to convince her to admit it and follow her heart and say she was in love, but as Pacifica hurried into the outdoor museum full of art, Mabel felt a chill go down her spine. She stopped at a brick wall-art of the sun and hid herself behind a bush, remembering her grunkle’s orders to stay hidden, just in case.

A small pyramid glowed yellow and with a small poof the triangle with a black toga appeared, smiling (as much as one can without a mouth) at Pacifica. Mabel stared, a little confused; this must be Grunkle Ford’s friend, the one Uncle Fiddleford didn’t seem to like very much. Instantly she could understand why Uncle Fiddleford didn’t like him, but so far Bill hasn’t done anything to learn Mabel’s dislike, so she kept an open-mind and listened.

“Hey-o, Llama, so whatcha got?”

“Nothing.” Pacifica said coldly, her arms crossed.

“Nothing?” Bill repeated.

“Nothing. No weak spot, no bad nerves, no tricks. Nothing. He has no weaknesses.”

Bill growled in his throat, floating back and forth in a pacing kind of way, his black hands behind his back. “No! Everybody’s got a weakness! We just gotta find it!” The demon stopped as he looked at a statue of a couple in love. “Maybe… Ugh, if only Sixer wasn’t so overprotective of Shooting Star. We could use her as bait.”

Pacifica snorted. “Yeah, good luck getting your hands on her.”

“But maybe…” Bill held his… well, he doesn’t have a chin, but he did put a hand to the front of his body in that type of manner. “... there’s someone we can get our hands on.”

“What?” Pacifica asked, not seeming bored for the first time in this entire conversation. “You mean Stan? I guess… Dipper did say he was like family.”

Bill cackled. “Oh, if only he knew.” The triangle gasped and punched his hand with the side of his fist in thought. “Hey! We can use that! Great work, Blondie. Now c’mon, we got a whole galaxy to conquer!” And he swooped himself and Pacifica away in a burst of blue fire.

Mabel had both hands over her mouth to keep herself quiet. She had so many questions and was confused on a few things, but she did know this: Bill wanted to hurt Dipper. Bill wanted to take over the galaxy. And he was lying to Grunkle Ford.

Without another thought, Mabel dashed as fast as she could for home. She accidentally gave herself such bad tunnel vision out of fear and desperation that she didn’t hesitate until she was at the entrance of her shared temple with her great-uncle. The young lady peered his office to find him hunched over his work, finding it hard to concentrate with the fate of his brother on his mind. Mabel didn’t know much about Bill, despite being a fellow god, but she did know that Ford considered him a friend, so this would be difficult news to deliver.

Mabel gently knocked on the column beside her to alert her guardian of her entrance. He turned and smiled genuinely at her. “Mabel, I’m happy to see you’re home safe. How… How is Stanley?”

Mabel winced; she had completely forgotten to check on her long-distance uncle in the excitement of her brother’s date and the harsh discovery. “Grunkle Ford, I need to tell you something.”

Immediately Ford feared the worst. It was too late. He would never see Stan again, and it was all his fault. Mabel sat on the desk and took his six-fingered hands. He bit his lip and braced himself as Mabel looked down, trying to find her words. After a moment or two that nearly killed the immortal god, the young muse asked carefully, “Bill… Is he your friend?”

Ford felt the wind being kicked out of him from the shock. He could have cried, he was so relieved, but instead he laughed and nodded. “Yes! Yes, my dear, Bill is an old friend of mine. If it wasn’t for him, the world would still be in complete chaos. My leadership position, and really the existence of you and your brother, is all thanks to him. He helped me save the world.” He praised.

Mabel looked even more nervous; Ford had hoped that this answer would assure any worry she had, but clearly this wasn’t the case. Before the god could ask what was wrong, the muse said quietly, “I think he only helped you save it so he could have it someday.”

Ford blinked like a confused owl at her. “What… What are you talking about?”

“I… I think… no, I’m sure that…”

“STANFOOOOOOOOORD!”

Mabel and Ford turned to the direction of the call and ran for the exit of their temple. They watched Fiddleford use his super speed to dash to them, pale and stuttering with fear. “HONEY FOGELIN’, SALT-LICKIN’ SKULLDUGGERY! OH, WE’RE IN TROUBLE! OH!”

“Fiddleford, buddy, calm down.” Ford gripped him by the shoulders to give him a chance to breathe and adjust his small glasses. “What’s the matter?”

“We’ve got an army o’ monsters that are practically at our gates!” Fiddleford informed. “There’s only a few minutes until Olympus is overrun!”

“What?! Alert the other gods! Prepare for a counter attack! Go, go!”

“Gone, babe.” Fiddleford said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes and ran as fast as possible as he blew his trumpet loudly throughout Olympus.

“Mabel, sweetie, I want you to go keep an eye on your brother.”

“But…”

Ford whistled loudly and the giant goat, Gompers, came trotting toward. Ford lifted her like a child and ignored her kicking and squirming. “Grunkle Ford!”

“I’m not asking!” Ford growled and gave her a firm look. “I can’t lose you! I just can’t! Now I’m ordering you to go check on M-... on Dipper. Now go!” And he smacked Gompers to make him gallop off the mountain and down to the mortal world.

~~~~~~~~~~

Just a few minutes after Dipper arrived back home, thinking about his amazing date with Pacifica, he decided to check on Stan. After making sure he was nowhere else in the luxurious house, Dipper gently knocked on his teacher’s bedroom door. “Stan? You okay?”

Praying the old man was at least wearing a toga, he carefully opened the door, but was a little surprised to find the bed empty. After a quick look around the lavish bedroom, Dipper concluded that Stan wasn’t here. He closed the door and turned away, wondering if Stan had gone outside for some fresh air, but was suddenly greeted by a high-pitched laughter and the lit torches made of stone were now blue. Dipper looked all over and was startled to find a huge golden triangle with one eye staring at him.

“Hey there, kid, name’s Bill, big guy of the Underworld, nice to meet you.” Bill said, a smooth-fast talker like a chariot salesman.

“Uh, hi.” Dipper greeted with a small, hesitant wave. There was no way the Ruler of the Underworld, the most mysterious god of them all, would be paying him a visit unless it was important or he wanted something.

“So, listen, Pinetree,” Bill said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and floating alongside him, walking like they were old friends catching up. “I’m an old friend of your great-uncle, Stanford. He’s a fun guy, great god, you’re a lot like him, you know that? Anyway, so, as a friend of the family, I need a favor from you.”

Dipper wasn’t sure what to make of this. This was his first time meeting a god apart from Mabel, and now to be needed by one was a bit confusing. Why now? Was it possible he was on his way to becoming a true hero? Was he almost a god again? Was this a test? He smiled nervously and shrugged. “Uh, sure, what do you need?”

“Oh, boy, look at this guy! A real trooper he is! You’re alright, Sixer Jr!” Bill laughed and clapped his shoulder. “Now, I would be eternally grateful if you took a day off from this hero gig. I mean, c’mon, monsters, natural disasters…”

All hope that this visit was a good thing died. Dipper scowled and shook his head, shoving Bill’s hand off his shoulder. There was one reason and one reason only someone would want him to stop being a hero, even if it was only for a short time. “No way…”

“Not so fast,” Bill said coolly and he locked his own fingers cunningly. “Cuz I have something that might change your mind.” And he snapped his fingers.

Out of thin air an old man appeared in chains, on his knees. “Stan!” Dipper gasped.

“Dipper, what the h-...” And more chains covered his mouth.

Dipper ran for his teacher but Stan was gone before the young hero could help. “Let him go!” He dove for Bill, but only fell through him, like the demon was made of mist.

“Here’s the deal: you give up your strength for the next twenty-four hours,” And Bill snapped his fingers again and Stan reappeared, gagged and trapped. “And Knucklehead here is as free as a bird and safe, we dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we go home happy. Whatcha say, c’mon?”

Dipper stared at Stan, who was shaking his head. The young man looked away and then back at Bill. “People are gonna get hurt, aren’t they?”

“Nah,” Bill dragged, flicking his wrists downward and then instantly shrugging with his hands behind his back. “I mean, maybe, there’s a possibility, it happens cuz, y’know, life sucks. So what?” The triangle joined Stan and cupped his face teasingly. “Isn’t your great uncle more important than they are?”

Dipper opened his mouth to order him to stop, but his jaw fell and his voice was stolen from him. Bill smiled excitingly and asked, “Oo, struck a nerve, did I?” He laughed maliciously. “You seriously didn’t know he’s Sixer’s brother?! Oh, man! This is sad! Ever wondered why he had a grudge against Fordsie? Ever wondered why he even gave a worthless orphan the time of day to begin with? It’s cuz he only barely cared cuz you’re blood. Duh.”

“You’re lying.” Dipper said firmly. “Stan, he’s making it up, isn’t he?” He begged, his brown eyes on Stan, the same eyes that matched his own. “Because… you would have told me if it’s true… wouldn’t you?”

Stan looked away.

“Daw, don’t blame him, kid. It’s not his fault you didn’t inherit Mr. Lightning Bolt’s brains. Now, c’mon, you really wanna lose another pwecious famwy member?”

“OKAY!” Dipper yelled to get Bill to fall silent. There was a moment of pause and Stan stared at his nephew. “Okay… okay… But you gotta swear Stan won’t get hurt.”

“Fine, whatever. Stan won’t get hurt.” Bill said and walked towards the birthmarked hero, leaving Stan alone for a moment. “Otherwise you’ll get your strength right back, fine print, blah blah blah. It’s a deal?” And he held out a hand encased in blue fire.

Dipper hesitated, looking down at it, and that made Bill a little irritated, a dangerous game to play. Bill withdrew his hand. “Y’know I really don’t have time to bat this around, I got places to be, people to see, I need an answer, like, now. Going once, going twice…”

"It's a deal!" And Dipper ceased Bill's hand.

At once, the demon's thumb sharpened, cutting into Dipper's hand and seemed to be sucking the strength out of him. The young man sagged and Stan fought harder than ever to break free, but it was too late. Bill let Dipper go and he fell to his knees like a puppet with his strings cut off. One could say Dipper should have made sure he agreed to only give away his "god-like" strength, rather simply "strength," for this loophole left Dipper far weaker than any man, arguably weaker than an infant.

Bill cackled as he held his three-sided body and wiggled his legs in joy. "Thanks for the favor, Pinetree! Now if you'll excuse me, there's an entire cosmos out there with my name on it! Oh! Right, can't forget." Bill snapped his fingers and Stan was set free from his chains. "The guy ashamed to be your family is all yours, hero."

He instantly ran to Dipper's hunched-over body and rubbed his back. "Easy, buddy boy, I got you. It's okay."

Dipper swatted his hands away and groaned from the effort. "Stan… why… why didn't you say…"

Stan was hurt, but pushed it aside to focus on how hurt his nephew was. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I… I wanted to. Believe me, kid, I wanted to, but… I couldn't."

"Oh, and one more thing. Lil'Llama, thanks for the info." Bill sneered, curling a finger from the shadows to himself, and his slave emerged with her head down in shame. "A deal's a deal, you're free to go."

Dipper stared, heartbroken more so than ever. "Pacifica?"

"Hey, that's the blonde damsel from the river." Stan growled. "Tramp. C'mon, Dipper, let's get you to…"

"Don't." Dipper snapped as he steadily got to his own feet. "I… I can take care of myself…"

Stan withdrew his hand and took a step back, letting Dipper hold himself up by leaning on a column, catching his breath. The proud uncle bit his lip and was distracted from his misery and shame when a big bang could be heard outside.

He stood outside his home and his mouth was open as the sky was an unnatural sea of colors and the ocean was raging with waves that seemed to make everything it touched weird. Bushes were coming to life and eating ghosts. Old women were being turned into furniture. Men were going delusional and eating their togas. Stan cringed at the weirdness, and it only got worse when some big goblin-looking monster with Eight Ball eyes was bringing havoc to Thebes.

~~~~~~~~~~

The planets aligning created a weak spot in the dimension, and in the depths of the sea, Bill peered down and could practically see his old minions in the Nightmare Realm. “My friends!” He called, pointing a finger at the weak spot and tearing a whole in space-time. “We finally have a new home, boys! But one guy stands in our way. An obnoxious poindexter with six fingers. So, since I’ve given you guys a stable home, whatcha gonna do about it?”

“DESTROY HIM!”

“Good answer.”

And so, when Fiddleford was disturbed from his nightly slumber on a low cloud outside of Olympus, he screamed and ran as fast as he could to alter his friend and the leader of the gods. Huge monsters scaled the mountain. Flying eyeballs flew like bats and screeched, turning fighting gods into stone and flying them away.

With Mabel gone and no longer terrified for her safety, Ford stood on a tall cloud just inside the gates of his home and shot down bolts of lightning with his golden crossbow. The monsters were sturdy, and while the attacks did slow them down, the battle was not looking good for the gods. Ford caught his breath and was very disturbed when a giant gray-blue loaf of bread with arms and legs but no face broke down the gates.

“What’s our status?!” Ford asked his best friend.

“Everyone’s bein’ turned t’stone!” Fiddleford yelled as an eyebat shined a beam down at him. “Even me!”

“NO!” Ford threw his last bolt at the eyebat, but it swerved out of the way and scooped up Fiddleford’s frozen body.

Ford looked left and right, waiting for an idea to come to him, but he was too clouded with anxiety and worry that he failed to notice the huge, now three-dimensional demon behind him. “Fordsie, I’m home.” A shrill voice sang.

“Bill?” Ford breathed, his eyes narrowing in anger and he shook with rage. He should have listened to Mabel and knew he was behind this. He growled like an angry bulldog and tried to throw a punch, but with a lift of a finger Bill had total control over Ford’s body and made him float lifelessly in front of him.

“Well well, looks like you truly are as dumb as you look. Tell me, did you really think such a powerful being would ever be friends with a six-fingered monster?” Bill laughed evilly and moved two arms close, creating lava and ice to work together to encase Ford in a stony prison. “This dimension is mine, Sixer, and it’s all thanks to you.” He said as Ford climbed and crawled to try to escape, but was steadily being encased, like quicksand. “Now all I need to do is make sure those brats stay out of my way.”

“NO! NO!” Ford screamed. “NOT MY KIDS, YOU CA-...” And he was completely covered.

“I’m the one giving orders now, Freak.” Bill sneered and sat in his new throne the eyebats had made for him, made entirely out of gods and goddesses. “And I think I’m gonna like it here.”

[spaceorphan18]

Looking at that joke grid of what every teenage show should have, and Glee matched them all apart from a beach episode, do you think it’s true to say they took on every single issue possible. And never actually dealt with any topic particularly well?

And that after season 2 really it became a mess as they were trying to cover all lot of stuff, as well as a lot of music? Was there a point when the plot became secondary to the music, and the plot was added after the songs chosen?

To answer your second question first... they always had themed episodes, even in season 1, and sometimes they worked, and sometimes they didn’t.  I’d say things like the Break Up episode really worked.  Other times, like Michael, it felt like it was stretching.  It really depended.  :) 

Okay, uh.... you know what, let’s go through the bingo card (post found here) and see how well Glee did... 

Pregnancy Scare: Well, not getting into Quinn, because that’s Teen Pregnancy, which I think is a different beast.  The actual tropey one is a scare, which was had by Rachel Berry in season 4.  And it was handled terribly.  Not only was it saddled with the tired -- who is the baby daddy drama -- it was forgotten, literally, an episode later.  Bad, show.  Bad.  

We Won The Game (Literal): They won the big game in Preggers and The Sue Sylvester Shuffle, both of which worked for not being a sports show.  

We Won The Game (Figurative): My god, every time they had a competition episode... some were handled well, others not so much... 

Parents Get a Storyline: Not very often though, but Burt and Carole’s romance and partnership remain a staple of the show. 

Fight!!!: Good god, this was, like, every other episode.  I think the most amusing was when it was less about physical fights (Finn/Puck; Quinn/Santana or Santana/Rachel) and more about Diva-Offs! 

He Cheated: So, I know we all collectively looked to Blaine on this one, but pretty much every character on this show cheated in way or another.  Again, some of it worked, some of it didn’t, and I don’t think Blaine’s was the worst one of the bunch. 

School Dance: You know, it’s surprising we didn’t have more of these. Prom Queen - good; Promasaurus - meh; Sadie Hawkins - relatively decent;   Tina in the Sky with Diamonds - not good.  

Someone’s Gay: I mean... they were all gay.  This is why we were watching the show, right? 

Celebrity Cameo: Thinking about it, I think most of them worked? Most of them.  I think Brittany Spears was way overhyped for what it was, and Lindsey Lohan really didn’t need to happen.  

Someone Gets Arrested: Sure, Puck did, that was almost always going to happen.  But what is interesting is that we didn’t have that very special... chased down by the cops thing that often happens in these shows -- and you know what, that’s fine.  

Overly Involved Authority Figure: Good god, to the detriment of the show itself.  

Girl Loses Her Virginity But Is Conflicted About It: Was Rachel that conflicted about it? I actually think Glee handled sex much better than most teen shows, tbh -- they had some great narratives centered around it, and with exception of the stupid ‘your first one is special’ stuff that got saddled onto Finn with Santana, I really liked a lot of the conversations being had -- especially about Marley and Mercedes, both of whom had valid reasons for not wanting to have sex. 

Issues Episode (That Is Never Mentioned Again): Oh, god, I feel like this happened all the time.  The catfishing and Ryder’s abuse was definitely up there, but school shootings and spousal abuse are also up there.  And yeah, these were usually the weaker storylines because they often felt out of place.  

Underage Drinking: BIOTA was actually fantastic, and I’m kind of surprised they never really went back to that well, but it’s nice that no one developed into an alcoholic (and if they were it was a joke; re: April Rhodes).  

Vague But Menacing School Project: I mean, ha, every one of Will’s theme weeks?  Did they ever do projects for other classes?? Did they take other classes???  

Love Triangle: I mean, you need a whole damn chart to unknot all the relationship threads.  Pick one, and I’ll tell you how well it worked (probably not well because love triangles don’t work).  

I Think I’ve Heard That Song: What trope is this exactly? Clearly, though, a show of musical covers is going to have a song you’ve heard. And you know what, most of them weren’t as bad anti-glee people wanted them to be.

Eating Disorder: AAAHHHHHH Marley’s eating disorder was the worst.  I am glad they dropped this. 

They’re On a Beach: It is a damn shame we never got a summer episode.  We did get some pool related things, and didn’t Sam model something on a beach set? 

Drug Addiction: Not really done (probably for the better) -- the show shied away from it, but I love that you can bring up Vitamin D cause that, and Sandy Ryerson’s Weed Empire, is the closest the show gets to tackling drugs.  Are’t drugs hilarious kids? 

We Lost The Big Game (figuratively): Ahh, the rest of the competition episodes, usually done better than the ones that they won. 

Clique Showdown: I mean, that was Ryan Murphy’s thing, right? Was it good? Lol, I have no idea.  The Bullying story with Karofsky was great.  The mean girl schtick got old really fast, though. 

Admission of Love: Kurt... there is a moment when you say to yourself, oh there you are... I’ve been looking for you forever.  (haha -- I think a lot of characters got this, and it was one of Glee’s better tropes.) 

Homoerotic Male Bonding: Well, um, yes.  Again, was this not what the show was about? 

Slut with a Heart of Gold: I loved that Sam was brought up -- yes!

School Shooting: Ug.  I think the ten minutes of actual tension during that episode was good.  Everything else related to that plot line was not. 

How’d Glee do, guys? 

[kitsbookshelf]

The Twilight Saga: a detailed review of why I can’t stand them and love them in (almost) equal measure

Before I start this borderline scathing review, I just want to let you know that it's full of spoilers, so if you haven't read the books, look away now. This is your only warning.

Now that that's out of the way... I can't stand the Twilight saga. Twelve-year-old me is cringing at my hatred for it, and Twilight fans are waiting to set me on fire, but it's true. I think they're poorly written, and there are soooo many parts of every book that just...missed the mark, at least for me. Let's start at the beginning, with the first book: Twilight.

Bella, our darling main character, moves in with her dad, Charlie (let's take a moment to appreciate perhaps the only normal, mentally stable person in this entire saga), in the rainy small town of Forks, Washington.

Bella is quite a bland character, but that just makes her easier to project yourself onto when you're reading the book if that's how you immerse yourself. For me, I found her obsessive and definitely not emotionally stable, and it did honestly feel like reading the diary of a manic and very unstable 17-year-old. On one hand, that's good--I'm reading from Bella's perspective, and it's written exactly how I'd expect her to write--but on the other hand, the writing feels...cheap? I completely blame my own taste in writing style for my opinion on this one, but I just couldn't enjoy the very boring storytelling happening here. It was all very 'tell-tell-tell' instead of the 'show-tell-show' way of writing I prefer.

Now here is where my adoration for this book comes in: Edward Cullen. Specifically, the interactions between him and Bella. They have conversations, and banter, and it's a fun little human-vampire-friendship that isn't awful to read (I will never never forgive the films for leaving some of the dialogue out, it's pure gold and possibly the only saving grace of this book). The characters felt like teenagers here, but it was only for the few short pages we got of them interacting without the overly-exaggerated brooding that our sweet Ed is known for.

The romance between Bella and Edward is...concerning. For me, I couldn't find a single bit of actual romance between the two of them beyond Bella's obsession with him and Edward's bloodlust and weird self-control thing he has for her. It felt really unhealthy, and I couldn't wrap my head around how people actually think there's romance there.

The whole James thing...I don't know about anyone else, but it felt really random. Yes, it added a conflict to the book, but I felt like there wasn't really any good development to make it more relevant. That all seemed to happen later with Victoria, but James didn't really feel like he fit into the story very well. I think I would have preferred it if he was gradually brought in through the book, or if there was some sort of lead up to the conflict instead of just--WHAM! Tracker dude wants to kill Bella because Edward got protective and now only the final section of the book has any action.

Twilight completely had the potential to be a good vampire-human romance novel. There was no real need for the James-Victoria storyline, even in the later books. What did they add? Only the entirety of Eclipse, but that book could be taken out completely without disrupting the story all that much.

New Moon feels like a completely different book, and I actually really liked it. The writing style still got on my nerves and made it more difficult for me to enjoy the book, but the content was so much better.

Bella's spiral in New Moon really added something to her character. Instead of another book of her constant Edward-Cullen-is-the-most-beautiful-man-to-ever-exist inner monologue, we got a whole book of her.

Jacob Black was introduced, and he was a genuinely likable character (the one thing I will say is that his inability to take 'no' for an answer really did put me off him for a large portion of the book and the next one) who brought some more normality into the book. It didn't feel like I was reading an overly-exaggerated supernatural romance, and I enjoyed it. The banter between the two of them was so realistic, and I actually really loved how Meyer explored Bella's coping mechanisms and her dependency issues when Jacob phased and Bella was left without him again.

The conflict here was much more well-executed than in Twilight, with the Volturi having been mentioned before and now becoming established properly in the saga. They're the perfect villains, and I enjoyed reading about them much more than I enjoyed the rushed few chapters of James's story in Twilight. I loved how Meyer kept Bella awake the entire way home from Italy. You really got to see the sort of wild relief that she felt when getting Edward back, and I think it was well-written and made me feel like there was slightly more going on here than the forced romance in Twilight.

I really do feel like the subject of them being mates should have come up a lot sooner. Maybe some questions on how a human could be a vampire's mate, or exploring the complications of it, because then maybe Bella's obsession would have been far more understandable earlier in the saga, and it might have felt more 'organic' than the relationship I read until Bella became a newborn later on.

And now we reach Eclipse... Eclipse, Eclipse, Eclipse... I hate it. There isn't a single part of this book that I can honestly say I enjoyed. I felt like it could have been taken out completely, and it wouldn't have made a difference to the story.

The whole book felt like a filler, purely there to resolve the issue of Victoria before moving on to Bella's pregnancy and vampirism in Breaking Dawn. It didn't feel like any part of it was important, or really memorable.

Victoria's whole storyline could have been erased without destroying the saga. The only interesting thing about the whole conflict with her was that she managed to orchestrate it without Alice seeing her, and that was the one thing that kept the book rolling on instead of it being a handful of chapters of the newborns being defeated.

The one thing that this book set up was the truce between the werewolves and the vampires, and I definitely think that could have been done in another way if James and Victoria had never existed (if you can't already tell, I really don't see the point to James and Victoria, and they don't add anything to the books except for a tiny, irrelevant bit of drama).I enjoyed how Meyer wrote the love triangle, and how she made Bella love them both. It felt, to me, more realistic that Bella would feel something for Jacob after everything we read in New Moon and how much she cared about him.

Beyond those things, though, this book really did feel completely useless to me, and I couldn't wait to stop reading it and get back to something that felt like it had a decent plot.

Okay, last one (I commend you for surviving this far). Breaking Dawn.

I...didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. I think it's a good conclusion to the saga, and I like how the characters all got a happy ending, but I can't say I think it's amazing or even close.

Bella becoming a mother felt strange and disjointed to the rest of the books--she'd never said she wanted to have a baby, and had even stated that she didn't mind not having a child if it meant being a vampire with Edward. Then suddenly she's pregnant and will let herself die to give birth to the baby? It doesn't fit with what we've read of her character up to this point, and it irked me.

And the baby name...Renesme... Can we take a second to appreciate how stupid that sounds? There were so many other options--honestly, I'd have taken literally any other option--and Bella chose to mash their mothers' names together in the worst possible way. Renesme. Ugh.

Don't even get me started on Jacob imprinting on a baby. The whole thing of imprinting makes perfect sense, but why, why, why did he have to imprint on a baby? A half-vampire baby? Surely his wolf-y instincts would be telling him to get away from her, not throw him right into her tiny little arms and have him fall in love with her. I don't get it, it creeps me out, and that's all I'm going to say about it.

As for everything else... I think it was good, it just sort of felt flat to me. All of the good parts seemed to happen intermittently through the book, scattered between barely tolerable sections and parts that, in my opinion, were shoddy. It made for a difficult book to get through, but the conclusion to the saga was almost worth the trouble.

[sound-of-the-cosmos]

30 day Whump Prompt Challenge: Day 1 (Crying)

Fandom: Detroit: Become Human

Pairing: Connor x reader

Summary: Connor almost dies trying to you while you interrogate the deviants; he soon after saves you from being shot, and you break down.

Warnings: Violence, blood, fear, swearing, mentions of anxiety and PTSD

The room the Deviant Leader had used to project his message was fairly clean, aside from a few bullet holes and some blue blood. The android that had been working there stood in the small break room attached to the main broadcast centre. 

Those at the scene of the crime wore hazmat suits, as to not disturb any evidence. You’d walked in with Connor and Hank, and listened halfheartedly as they rattle off what had happened. Did anyone bother to read reports anymore? 

Looking around the scene, your interest was piqued. There was no evidence of violence in the hall, just an unconscious worker. And the person who called the DPD had said that their leader had the chance to kill him, and didn’t. 

You look at the security footage, and your eyes narrow. Someone let the 4 deviants in. Must’ve been one of the androids, as the chair in front of it had the triangle logo imprinted on the back of it. Exhaling softly, you glance around before entering the break room. 

Three androids stand against the far end of the room, each identical to the next, down the the uniform. Your eyes narrow as you look at each of them. One of them was a deviant. You had no issue with them, in fact you felt that the androids deserved freedom. 

But one of these caused another android to die. It could’ve caused injuries. And if you weren’t careful, it could either self destruct, or cause more. 

“One of you is a deviant. One of you broke protocol and let in a group of androids.” You begin, not hearing the other android enter the room. His analytical stare bore into each of them, while you didn’t see it. 

“You know, your actions could get two innocent android to be killed. If you were to confess now, their lives would be spared. If not..” You trail off for effect. “You’ll all be killed.”

You miss it, but Connor doesn’t; The android on the far left flinched. Connor steps in front of him. “You’re going to be switched off. We’re going to search your memory, and tear you apart, piece by piece, for analysis.” He steps closer, now mere inches away from it’s face.

“You’re going to be destroyed! Do you hear me?” His volume raises, catching you slightly off guard. “Destroyed!”  

There’s still no reaction, but Connor isn’t done yet. “You scumbag! I know it’s you!” He grabs it by the collar of it’s uniform. “You’re just a fucking deviant. Go on, admit it!” He brings it closer to his face, and as you step in to intervene, the deviant finally acts.

It throws you aside, and you slam into a table. Groaning, your head begins to ring as you attempt to bring yourself up on your elbows. The deviant pushes Connor into the counter, and slams a blade through his hand. Connor tries to push him off, but the Deviant pulls out his thirium pump.

Tossing it aside, Connor begins to gasp as it steps towards you. It holds another knife, and slams it into your shoulder. You let out a cry out anguish, before it kicks your stomach. Connor falls to the ground behind you, and the deviant runs out.

Tears pool in your eyes as you fight through pain to get to the pump. Connor is trying to crawl, but it’s too far away for him to make it in time. You grab it, and toss it over to him, collapsing onto the ground shortly after. He brings it into his chest again, and gasps loudly.

You had pushed yourself up, and attempted to run after the deviant yourself. You manage to make it into the hall, and Connor runs past you. “That’s the deviant! Don’t let it escape!”

It grabs a gun from an officer beside it, and Connor does the same, shooting it directly through the head before it can even aim. 

You collapse against the side of the wall, tears streaming down your face due to pain. Your vision is swimming and white at the edges. “Y/n!” Connor runs over, throwing the gun to the side. 

Hank’s face went white as he finally lays eyes on you. “Someone call a fucking doctor!” His voice carries, and someone comes into the room. Connor gently picks you up, bringing you back into the break room, much to your discomfort. 

You were shaking, you knew that. You were in so much pain, and you were utterly terrified. You almost died. You could’ve easily been killed, Connor was almost killed.

“Hey, stay with me, Y/n,” Connor says gently, letting your hand grip his as the paramedic pulls the knife out of your shoulder. You let out a bloodcurdling scream, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks. It pained Connor to see you this way, but he couldn’t pinpoint why. Androids couldn’t feel emotions.

As they wrapped your shoulder, your head rests on Connors. Your face was pale and gaunt, exhausted from crying but still in excruciating pain. The paramedic hands you two pills. “The red one is a painkiller; the white is an iron pill. They should help.”

You swallow both, and the reality you’ve been avoiding finally hits you. You almost died. Connor almost died. That deviant could’ve killed Hank, and all of the people you worked with in that hallway.

A choked sob escapes your throat, and Connor’s eyes shoot to your face in alarm. “Y/n, it’s going to be ok, we’re ok,” He tries, but you weren’t there mentally. Your breathing picks up, and you begin to mumble soft apologies. While you knew you could die on the force, you didn’t want to see him be killed. Not like that.

Your last partner had been killed in a Red Ice raid, his organs pulled out by a deviant. This was too similar to that. “Y/n, look at me,” Connor’s voice breaks through the haze you found yourself in. 

“You’re ok; I’m ok, see? Everything is ok now,” He smiles a little, and your heart skips a beat. This was unlike him, but god fucking damn it, you needed it. 

“You won’t lose me like you lost them; I know that was a hard thing to experience, but I’m an android. I can’t die.” His voice was soft, and held a small hint of sadness in it. Strange, but you didn’t care in that moment. 

You wrap your arms around him, which he awkwardly reciprocates. “You’re ok; I promise.”

// I am going to try to do a 30 day Whump challenge! The original prompts came from @whumptopia​. I don’t claim the prompts as my own, but the story is. If you want to repost it, that’s alright, but please please please give me credit! Thank you!

[olivieblake]

Sorry I haven't detailed my Friendship breakup ask earlier, managing life is taking too much time these days!

It's a bit hard to summarise but I have been soulmate-type friends with this girl, K, for three and a half years and really good friend with this guy, R, for two and a half. We all work together and our triangle friendship worked well. K and R fooled around a few times after parties, K developed feelings, R didn't and thought it was a friends with benefits thing while K hoped it would become more but it never did. Big problem was the lack of communication between them, both thought the other knew what they wanted but we know that things don't work this way.

I've been there for all of it, particularly for K who had been hurt by the lack of emotional intelligence R indeed displayed along the way. But I also felt, and I think R knew it herself, that she had been getting her hopes up almost all along and was setting herself for heartbreak, but life needs to be lived and sometimes we make mistakes just so that we can learn from them and K and I talked a lot about that, as I was myself getting entangled with another colleague.

Fast forward to last November, where, after months of horrible things piling up 2020 style, R and I spent an evening together watching movies, eating pizzas, drinking English cider and talking about how fucking sad we all were and fuck 2020 and family members dying of cancer way too fast, both in his and my family, and work being hell because the government is doing shit for making schools safe and everything going wrong all the time. At some point during the night there was a moment when I felt that R was offering more than just sleeping together in the same bed and I had a moment of hesitation but decided to not give in to it and to the the confort it might bring us both, mainly because I was sure it would hurt K if she ever heard about it. So we just slept, read books in the morning while drinking tea and there was no awkwardness because we both knew that it came from the fact that we trust each other enough to ask for comfort and even if it would have been a possibly stupid way to get it, it might have made us feel better in the moment. (even though we both think we'd have burst into tears 30 seconds in and not done it in the end)

I wondered whether I should tell K or not and decided to do it because nothing had happened, really, and if I didn't tell her when we told each other most things, that's when it'd have become suspicious and dishonest. So I told her that there had been a weird moment between R and I, that nothing had happened in the end, not in the best way in retrospect because it felt too casual to her, confirmed that had it happened it would have been weird for her and thought that was that since the next few days went fine. But at the end of that week she sent me an audio, saying that if I had feelings for R, I had a lot of time to tell her, that she needed people she could trust and who respected her in her life and that we weren't friends anymore. And that was it. Since then, she has refused to have a conversation to clear things up and has avoided me several weeks but has kept talking to R as usual.

I should have told her in a different way and I understand why she felt hurt imagining that R and I had spent a night of passion together but I told her, and then explained more clearly, that nothing had actually happened, that I wasn't into R and he wasn't into me, we were just both very sad and a bit too drunk.

The thing is, he's not hers, they haven't been in a relationship, he's not her ex either. Even if we had slept together, it wouldn't have had anything to do with her; people don't belong to people. But what's really hard is that we've been really good friends for several years and she was so quick to assume I would be cruel to her on purpose and that her feelings didn't matter to me when we've been there for each other a lot. And that putting an end to our friendship via WhatsApp was apparently so easy to do. (I don't really think it was, but it sure feels like it.)

And I've been asking other friends' opinions to see how in the wrong I was really, since maybe I couldn't see the situation clearly enough from my position, and the general consensus is that since I didn't do anything with him and was honest with her right after the nothing happened, she's being a bit extreme when the only actual thing she could reasonably resent me for is the way I told her. We're adults, we should be able to at least talk about it but I've offered several times and she says she doesn't need to or want to. But we're in the same friend group, we're supposed to spend time all together at some point and us not talking has an effect on the whole group dynamics, not just on us, and my awful need to make sure everything is balanced for everyone is going crazy.

It's been a long few months and my already sad and stressed out brain is having a hard time dealing with it and I hate that we're in this situation for something as futile as boy problems. I think there are issues of jealousy and self-confidence that stem from something else and that she's projecting it all onto this but it still sucks a lot, especially since she's refusing to talk about anything, even if we're at least back to saying hello and she has stopped fleeing every room I am in.

Anyways, friendship breakups suck, they can be as stupid as romantic breakups, and 2021 has better be nicer too everyone than 2020! Sorry for the novel-lenghth ask/story, my life is a succession of ridiculous plot points.

I hope you and Baby and Mr. Blake are doing well in these weird, weird times and I've started your book and I have loved your last video, especially the part on jealousy/possesiveness which was really well-put, as usual! Oh and thank you so, so much for your book recs on my last ask, I've added them to my To read-list <3

Okay, Love you, bye!

I feel like my last ask was a little bit too detailed to give a general answer/launch a large topic so I'm guessing it's mainly about how to deal with a lack of closure when people end things without the possibility to talk and get/give explanations. And I guess it goes for romantic relationships as well as friendships.

Love your big sistering, love you !

WELL I actually did not get this ask until a few hours after I had filmed this week’s video so not to worry lol I wasn’t able to address this specifically. but I think that’s the thing about the generality of grief over losing a friend—we don’t necessarily have to know the specifics of your story to understand it’s something we probably all relate to. and in this case I most certainly relate! I think this is one of those things where your friend had some personal things to work on and it put you in a difficult position, wherein you made the most logical choice. that’s the problem: you are looking logically at what is for her an emotionally fraught situation about her self-worth and your loyalty, which is why the math on your end isn’t adding up. (for the record I am much more likely to be in your position than hers; she sounds like a water sign but WHO’S TO SAy)

anyway, I don’t think you’re in this position over boy problems. a boy appears to be the subject yes but in fact he is the object; the subject is your friend’s feelings about herself and your—forgive me, but your compulsion to force her to get over it. I may not be completely right about that, but it does appear to me that you could have said nothing about the “nothing” that happened but chose not to because, ultimately, part of you wanted her to know. I don’t think this is sinister of you; I have a lot of friends who really need to just get over it as a general rule and sometimes it does feel like shocking them into it with new information might do the trick. but I think most likely she feels or intuits that in some way, and I suspect the root of her anger isn’t really about him but the “betrayal” she feels from you: that in that moment, you weren’t thinking about her* despite the fact that you would probably have known she would hurt if you had been (I’m sure you did know this to be true, and in my opinion are rationalizing your part in it; which is fine because you’re the main character in your life and not hers, but it is what it is) and of course she’s thinking about her, so what seems like a lot of pain on her end that she has no healthy method of dealing with is straining your relationship. I hope she can bring herself to deal with it, but she has a lot of work to do on herself before she can reach the pinnacle of what’s really bothering her. until then, it’s easier to blame you.

* edited to add: I know you said that you decided not to move forward sexually because of her, but I think what actually hurts her is not the possibility of sex, but the intimacy you had with him in that moment, which even you know is something she craved; perhaps delusionally. you don’t have to acknowledge whether this is a reasonable thing to be upset by, but I think the entirety of the situation is probably hitting her much differently than it hits you.

anyway my answer was not about this situation specifically but about why friendship breakups hurt so much, and I don’t think knowing the situation changes my answer. I hope it does help, because I think there is some part of this that is always true: one person needs to do something on their own before the friendship can be repaired, and it may not have been a problem at all if not for an issue of very specific timing. but trust me, whether this specific thing had happened or not this would still be true about the two of you, and about the ways your personal dogmas differ, and perhaps it’s better to see if she can take this leap now. maybe she will grow from it; maybe she won’t. either way, this is the part-grief, part-guilt formula I’m talking about, where sometimes you have to admit the breaking point happened, whether it could have gone differently or not, and now it’s out of your control

but I hope it helps to talk about!

[angelofthequeers]

City of Bones thoughts

I finally got City of Bones the other day and my scattered thoughts (tagging @repulsolife who wanted to know my thoughts):

I didn’t think Clary was a Mary Sue. People who slammed the series kept insisting she was one because she was so “speshul” with runes, but I’ve stopped caring about hating female characters based on special abilities since the realisation that people worship special male characters like Luke Skywalker but slam girls for the same reasons.

And on that note, I really like Clary. I resonated with her and how she felt like she didn’t fit in either world. I was reminded of Percy Jackson from when I read The Lightning Thief: both are kids shoved into a deadly world that wants to kill them while losing their mothers in the process after said mothers tried to keep them away, both meet a cute and highly skilled blonde with a painful past who are prickly with them at first but then slowly warm to them (Jace and Annabeth), both are powerful and have latent abilities that they need to learn to use, etc.

(Except I’ve seen a lot more scorn directed at Clary than Percy but that’s a story for another day)

Like, she makes mistakes and has flaws that are actually mistakes and flaws. She runs headlong into dangerous situations and ignores the advice of people telling her not to, and she genuinely gets her and others around her into trouble because of it. She has insecurities. She was so damn hurtful to Alec and was way out of line to weaponise his crush against him, but I also understood where she was coming from and that it wasn’t just a tantrum. I do like her overall.

Can’t stand Jace. I know he has a Tragic Backstory and he’s just Insufferably Smug As A Mask, but he annoyed me from the moment I saw him. I honestly wondered wtf Clary saw in him, even after all the times he opened up to her.

Simon was hilarious but even he got annoying when it came to the love triangle. I was expecting Isabelle to eventually return his crush and have the dynamic of the Hot Girl and the Nerdy Boy, so it was a little refreshing for Simon to realise that what he was feeling was shallow infatuation and have that help him see just why he liked Clary. A lot of these “I’ve been in love with you for years” crushes are just...there, but I genuinely enjoyed the rapport between Clary and Simon, and I could see why Simon was crushing on her, even if it got annoying.

Hated the love triangle. Hated it. I’ve never liked them in the first place but it honestly detracted from the story for me. I wanted to find out more about Jocelyn and Valentine and the Cup and angels and demons and the world in general without having the damn love triangle intrude on everything every time Jace and Simon were on the page. The dick-measuring contest got old fast.

I feel like people who complain about Clary being oblivious and how could she not have noticed Simon was crushing on her because it was so obvious have never heard of us aroaces. Her not catching on was very real for me.

The Clary/Jace relationship was a bit...sudden. Like, I know it’s taken half the book, but it’s only been a few days in the actual story and then they’re making out. Idk, maybe it’s just me being too aro for all this. I might grow to like it as it’s fleshed out but for now, it’s way shallow and idk what Clary sees in Jace and why Jace is into her in return. I would’ve liked for the first kiss stage to happen in a later book, but I know in passing about the upcoming relationship drama, so...I guess.

Isabelle was cool. She was pretty obviously the Designated Hot And Quirky Female Friend, but I still liked her. And I liked that she wasn’t outright rude to Clary or basically pitted against her in a catty bitchfight; each girl had their insecurities and projected onto each other, but they weren’t nasty to each other like Rosalie was to Bella in Twilight.

Alec was okay. He obviously had a Painful Past too, but I didn’t really feel either way about him. I guess because he’s not Jace, so we’re not meant to root for the Hot Bad Boy in the same way with Alec. I did love how he was explicitly gay in a book that came out when explicit queer rep was a pipe dream (like 2007 or something), especially in YA literature. And him getting flustered with Magnus was hilarious.

Magnus was a gem. I could immediately see why he’s a popular character.

It’s a bit of a slow book but maybe that’s just because it’s the introductory one and has to set up an entire world. I did enjoy it, though, and I’m glad I decided to check it out for myself instead of just going off everyone else’s whining.

It was very refreshing to have something other than Christianity validated, because so much of this genre heavily relies on crosses and Christian imagery, and one of the issues I’ve had in my own writing is wanting to write about angels and demons without them being Christian.

Definitely a family reveal worthy of “I am your father” but it was kind of ruined for me because I know in passing what actually happens later on. I did like how good Valentine was at emotionally manipulating Jace and how he knew exactly what to say, and I did feel for Jace even though I’m still ehhh about him.

Loved the Clary-Isabelle ending. So much better to see girls getting along and trying to navigate a girl-girl friendship than seeing them at each other’s throats for a boy. Also helped that there was nothing romantic between Isabelle and Jace.

Also like how Alec’s softened now. He really is likeable and I want to read more about him.

I liked it. It wasn’t my favourite book in the world, but it was a good introduction and I do want to keep reading, so I guess the book succeeded in its mission. I’m just bitter that I didn’t let myself get into this years ago because of internalised misogyny. Definitely going to start ‘City of Ashes’ at some point over the next few days.

[butterflydm]

So, after falling face-first into The Untamed | Chen Qing Ling, I was kinda looking around for other shows to give me the feels like that one did. I thought about watching Guardian (and I still might) but I wanted to watch something that didn’t have to have the explicit queerness censored out of it.

And so I learned first about Tharntype the series, and then alongside it, about the Thai ‘BL’ subsection of the Thailand film industry. The BL shows that I’ve watched so far have varied in how they’ve been along the spectrum of ‘this feels genuinely queer’ to ‘this feels like slash fanfic’ but it’s been an interesting and enjoyable experience.

Tharntype remains my favorite so far due to several factors:

a. the chemistry between the two leads. They’re electric together.

b. it’s gorgeous and polished on-screen but feels raw and unfiltered.

c. as a long-time romance fan, I’m fond of characters who have to Earn Their Happy Ending.

d. willingness to deal with complicated and painful issues in complex ways -- the show deals with some very heavy topics.

e. the show does a really good job of remembering who knows what and doesn’t have characters act with author knowledge that they shouldn’t have access to. I understand why that can be frustrating to parts of the audience, especially in relation to one character who does some horrible things that many of the other characters are unaware about, but I appreciate the lack of... narrative cheating, I guess.

f. characters are allowed to screw up horribly and then grow from their mistakes and bad choices (specifically, Type starts out with major anger issues and Tharn has boundary issues and they both cross big lines at the start of the series and through to mid-way through the series too).

There are some pretty major content warnings I would want to give people before recommending it, but if you’ve watched ex. Black Sails or Spartacus then you’re probably prepared for the emotional wringer Tharntype goes through.

Right now, I’m watching Why R U? (just watched the newly released third episode today) and I’m catching up on Until We Meet Again (just watched the fifth episode, so I’m far from caught up on that one). They’re both a lot less realistic than TT, but I’m enjoying them.

UWMA definitely reaffirms my current feelings (along with CQL) that I can only handle ‘Bury Your Gays’ these days if it becomes ‘BYG in the first few minutes but then immediately resurrect/reincarnate them to give them a happy ending’. I do admit that so far, I’m more into the past-lives Intouch & Korn story than the present-day Dean and Pharm story, but they’re cute enough too and if the story gives them more conflict in the future (internal or external) then I will probably be more into it.

WRU? - the main thing I’m super-into in this one is definitely Fighter and Tutor. Fighter is such a disaster gay. He gay-panicked himself into a semi-relationship with the female best friend of the guy he actually has a crush on. That’s almost impressive in a sad way. He’s such a self-contained character that a lot of the other characters project pretty hard onto him and make assumptions about what he feels, because he doesn’t say much and tends to have muted reactions (to everyone except Tutor).

I watched Saint Suppapong in Love By Chance before I started WRU, so his performance of Tutor in WRU has been impressing me a lot with his range as a performer. The whole Tutor-Fighter-HwaHwa love triangle situation is so messy that I just really enjoy watching any combination of them interacting.