#Whos gonna stop me the canon police?

[queenbeeibee]

"Won't lie, I've been thinking of changing my form up a bit lately. Don't get me wrong, I love how I look now, but I dunno. I've just been wanting to do something different?"

[sevikaskittygf]

officer!els<3

author's note - meow i love this woman.

content warnings - black!coded!reader ig????, fluff, els i love u ellie williams pls handcuff me to ur bed and police-brutalize me! , text msgs from reader that are very me-coded! , mostly just based off every grumpy but cool cop i've seen in media, lots of notes from me i'm going insane I NEED HER!!!!! , there's a white man in a pic i put... you have been warned, smut/suggestive shit at the end!

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- def wanted to be a cop when she was a kid and then was a total fucking juvenile as a teen. (duh!)

- always loved the police officers who barely ever gave troubled kids a hard time. (this is coming from a troubled kid. acab all the way except for u guys. well, still acab, but y'all r cool!) would refuse to talk to anyone except her favorites. i fully believe that's one of the reasons she would go into this workforce.

- when she got approved to start training to be a cop, u were home with her favorite strand of weed and she gave u a look like, "🤨🤨" , "can't be doing that no more baby, i'm gonna be a cop." , "...stfu and take the first hit before you piss me off..." , she's wearing a SHIT-eating grin before she takes it. (don't ask me how she passes her drug-tests!) (probably gets jesse to do it or someone idk maybe joel if she's lucky!) (def not joel...)

- ADDING ONTO THIS!^^ : every single time you smoke when she can't she'll look so sad or just side-eye tf out of you... "really?" , "what do you want me to do ellie..." u stopped smoking around her when she couldn't...

- this woman is so intimidating but once those cop dogs come on the scene she's so cute<3 . she's so smiley and happy they love her AND SHE LOVES THEM. she definitely sent u a picture of her with the group of the babies and was like, "can we adopt them all pls i love them ):" . you guys adopted a rescue pup shortly after...

- whenever you're doing ANYTHING EVER she flashes her badge at you and says something so loser of her , "don't make me handcuff you..." or makes finger guns with the sounds and GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN.

- speaking of badges, she always has her badge on her. ALWAYS. it is EMBARRASSING!

- when she got her first arrest she was so happy:3 . i FEEL like she took a picture with the fucker and everything and she looked so proud of herself. "good job baby now pls get to the station before that mf breaks out of those handcuffs he looks like he's gonna murder u..."

- this is a headcannon of mine (and canon so why am i saying hc maybe it's just bcs it's more in-depth in my head.) but she loves kids and whenever she sees a younger person at the station, she makes sure that they're ok and have everything they need.

- with that being said, she HATES the teens who don't have a valid reason to be such delinquents. lovable delinquents are her soft-spot but those... THOSE ONES😧.

- definitely is a kitten-saver-cop. hates getting the call but she responds every time.

- sends u this pic anytime u say something mildly threatening to her in text msgs:

suggestive/NSFW!

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- the day she got her uniform, you wanted to jump her bones. she came back home, poor girl was so tired and all you could think about is how good she looked in that shit.

- like i said... the badge is with her at all times... maybe this is too feral but i feel like she put IT in ur mouth and took a polaroid of it after u were done eating her out or SSAAAWWWWMMMMTHHHIIIIING. (pls let me wear ur badge baby i'm on my knees BEGGING YOU!)

- definitely joked about role-playing jailer/jailed and then it wasn't a joke anymore. y'all tried it once and couldn't stop laughing.

- has definitely used her handcuffs on u or vice versa. she gets so excited when u pull that shit out.

- ggggg...g-g-gu-....gggggggggguuuunnn ki-

- definitely has fucked u in the uniform. u two probs have had a quickie in the station bathroom on multiple occasions.

bonus round - police!els edit<3 :

[peachyhalstead]

alive | j. halstead

summary: chasing down an offender doesn't go quite as planned (dw it ends fluffy)

pairing: established (married) fem!reader x jay halstead, platonic!reader x adam ruzek

word count: 1.75k

warnings: canon-level violence, gunshot, hospitals, medical inaccuracies

a/n: meet a seasoned fanfic writer's first fic about jay <3 please let me know what you think of this !! also it was originally written in 3rd pov so if you see anything wrong, no you didn't ---- You followed Adam down the alley, weapons drawn. "Chicago PD! Stop!"

You felt your lungs burn as you raced down the alley, nodding when you saw Adam silently gesture to enter through the front door, and he would take the back.

Noticing the door was already open, you walked in, eyes alert for any sign of a victim or offender.

Hearing Adam call out a "clear!" you opened your mouth to do the same, but didn't make it that far as you heard three shots ring out, feeling two sharp pains tear through your body.

Adam, having seen the offender shoot you, quickly fired a round of his own weapon, pressing a button on his radio. "5021 Ida, shots fired by offender and police! We need an ambo to our location, plain-clothed officers at the scene, one in need of urgent medical care!"

Near the end of the block that you and Adam were on, Jay's head shot up to meet Hailey's, hearing their coworker's distraught call into the radio.

The two sprinted out of their location, and down to the abandoned house, hearing the sirens grow louder.

"Ruz! Where are you guys?!" Jay called, stomping through the house.

He felt his heart plummet when he saw his wife on the floor, bullet hole in your shoulder and belly, Adam holding his jacket over the wounds.

"Y/N!" He fell to his knees next to you, letting out a breath when you looked at him.

"J-Jay, I didn't see him coming." You mumbled, breaths shaky.

"Shh, it's okay, hon. You're going to be alright." Jay reassured you, his hands trembling as he reached out to stroke her the back from your face. He shot a panicked look at Adam, who was still pressing down on the bullet wounds.

"Ambo's en route, Jay," Adam said, his voice tight with worry. "She's strong, she's gonna pull through this."

Jay didn't answer, his attention solely focused on his wife. He held onto your hand, willing his strength into you. "Hang in there, baby."

"I'm trying," you answered weakly.

Just then Voight and Kevin Atwater stormed into the room. The sight of you on the floor left them momentarily stunned before they sprung into action. Voight acknowledged Ruzek with a curt nod and Atwater immediately moved to Jay's side, helping apply pressure to your wounds.

The sirens outside grew louder as the ambulance neared their location. It wasn't long before the paramedics came rushing in with a stretcher, immediately getting to work on stabilizing you for transport to Med.

As they carried you out of the house, Jay followed closely behind, fear etched on his face but determination in his eyes. He watched as they loaded yoiu into the ambulance before climbing in right after them.

The team was left in the eerily quiet house -- a stark contrast to the chaos moments ago. Voight looked around at his team, each one wearing an expression of concern and fear for their colleague.

"Everyone alright?" he asked gruffly, though there was a hint of concern in his tone.

Ruzek and Atwater both nodded, and soon the team made their way to Chicago Med, making home in the waiting room, wanting to be there for both you and Jay.

Jay, having hopped out of the ambulance as you were unloaded and ushered into a trauma room, a few nurses stopping him from going in. "Jay, Jay stop!"

The detective pulled a hand through his hair, looking at his older brother, Will. "Will, you gotta help her, man."

Shaking his head, he nodded to where his coworkers Dr. Marcel and Dr. Choi were working on you, who had since lost consciousness. "I can't, bro. She's family, against hospital policy."

Jay hit the wall, tears coming to his eyes. "I can't lose her, man. We just got married, this can't be the end."

Will clapped his brother on the back, jaw tense. "They got her, Jay. She'll be good, she's a strong one."

The two brothers watched as you were rushed into emergency surgery, being told to wait in the waiting room for any updates.

------

Jay stared at the clock on the wall across from him, watching the hands move as time passed. It had been two hours since you were taken to the O.R., and as much as Will tried, he wasn't able to get any more information out of his coworkers.

"Hey, man." Adam walked over to Jay, handing him a coffee.

"Thanks." Jay spoke, voice raw. "You saved her life, Ruz."

Adam shook his head, sitting next to Jay. "It was my idea to split up. If we stuck together, maybe she wouldn't have gotten hit."

Jay looked at his friend. "Don't blame yourself, Ruz."

The two detectives sat in silence, only perking up when Will and Dr. Marcel walked out into the waiting room.

"Is she-" Jay cut himself off, unable to finish the question.

"She's alive. We got both the bullets out, there was some damage to her shoulder, but we were able to repair it all."

Jay let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, grateful smile on his face. "Can I see her?"

Dr. Marcel shook his head. "Not right now. She's being moved to a recovery room in the I.C.U., a nurse will come out to bring you to her when she's settled."

"Will she still be able to be a cop?" Adam asked, the question plaguing him ever since he saw you hit the ground.

"With physical therapy and rest, Y/N should get full function and mobility of her shoulder. It won't be fast, she'll need lots of rest."

Jay thanked the surgeon, shaking his hand before he walked away.

------

Once the team had all heard that you made it through surgery, they headed back to the district to close up the case, the offender in CPD's morgue.

Jay sat up when a nurse walked over to him, smile on her face. Maggie, he recalled, from when Will introduced them a while ago. "She’s awake, she's asking for you."

Rising from the uncomfortable seat, Jay groaned as his back cracked, following Maggie down the halls to the I.C.U.

He smiled when he finally laid eyes on you, blinking blearily as the door opened and you saw your husband.

"Jay," you sighed in relief, her voice barely a whisper.

His breath hitched in his throat as he approached the bed. Your face was paler than he remembered, hair fanned out on the white hospital pillow. The sight of seeing you awake, those sparkling eyes looking at him despite being clouded by painkillers and fatigue, was enough to bring tears prickling in his eyes.

"Hey, baby," he murmured, carefully taking your hand and pressing a kiss to it. "How are you feeling?"

You gave a small wry smile. "Like I’ve been shot twice."

He chuckled weakly, stroking your hand with his thumb. "They said you did great in surgery."

You shrugged slightly, wincing after. "I don't remember much."

"They also said you’ll need a lot of rest and physical therapy for your shoulder."

You nodded slowly. “That’s okay. I can handle it.”

Jay looked at you, admiration clear in his eyes. Despite having just woken up from surgery and being shot twice, you were still trying to put up a brave face.

"There's my soldier," he said softly, brushing a loose strand of your hair from her your-drenched forehead.

Just then there was a soft knock on the door and Will walked in followed Dr. Marcel.

Dr. Marcel greeted you two with a warm smile as he approached your bed. He checked on your vitals before turning to Will and Jay.

"She's doing well considering the circumstances," Dr. Marcel reported.

Will nodded, sending you a comforting smile. "Should be able to get discharged in a few day’s time."

You nodded, looking at the sling your arm was in. "How long do I need to wear this?"

Dr. Marcel smirked, Will had warned him that his sister-in-law wasn't one to sit around and do nothing. "At least a month, but it depends on how your physical therapy goes. But, for a couple weeks, you can't move your arm. We had to repair some muscles in your shoulder, so it'll be sore."

You nodded, thanking the doctor as he left, Will following.

Jay looked at you, sad smile on his face. "Ruz is blaming himself."

You frowned, trying to sit up, wincing as your abdomen throbbed.

"Hey, hey, take it easy." Jay helped you sit up, making sure you were comfortable.

"Can I see the team? At least Adam, I want him to know it wasn't his fault." You looked at your husband, who nodded and pressed a kiss to your forehead, heading down to grab the team.

------

After a few days, you were finally able to leave the hospital. You had signed the discharge paperwork, and Jay walked back into the room after pulling the car around, soft smile on his face when he saw you struggling to get her coat on, one arm still in the sling.

"Here, let me help," he offered, walking over to you. He helped you put on the coat, paying extra attention to not disturb your injured shoulder.

You met his eyes and offered him a soft smile. "Thanks, babe."

Jay just nodded, his throat choked with emotion. He was relieved that you were okay but knew you had a long way to go for your complete recovery. He gently took your hand, gave it a squeeze, and lead out of the room.

As they walked through the silent corridors, you leaned into him slightly. It was subtle but Jay noticed it immediately. He wrapped his arm around you, offering her comfort and support. The worry lines on his face seemed to deepen as they moved towards the exit of the hospital.

Outside, the city was bustling as usual. The harsh city lights reflected off Jay's face as he helped you into their car before moving around to sit in the driver's seat.

The ride home was quiet. The only sound was the low hum of the engine and the occasional honk from nearby traffic. You were staring out of the window, mind lost in thoughts while Jay focused on driving, occasionally glancing over at his wife.

“Hey, Jay?” You looked over at him, voice quiet.

Jay hummed, glancing at you while he pressed on the gas petal when the light turned green.

“Just,” you paused, feeling a teenager in love again. “I love you.” ---- a/n: did u like it? also please don't expect good titles ever titles always make me wanna punch a brick wall

[thepunkranger]

So I was thinking about Claire Redfield (as you do) and how much of an insane badass she is for not only holding her own in Raccoon City, but also protecting a child throughout the entire nightmare, and specifically how, for all intents and purposes, Claire in Resident Evil 2 during Raccoon City and Ashley in Resident Evil 4 are the closest thing to peers that they have.

Both of them are college-aged girls with zero combat/survival experience who've been dropped into a zombie-infested hellhole and have to find their way out, but Ashley is so starkly different of a character to Claire.

From a writing standpoint, Ashley is a very literal damsel in distress character. She's young, she's inexperienced, and she does, in fact, need a man to save her (no shade, I'd probably need Leon and his rippling abs to save me too). Now, she does grow significantly as a character throughout the events of the fourth game, and even gets to save Leon a couple of times, but she's still very much a young girl in need of help

Now, in comparison, Claire Redfield is a damsel in distress in the same way Meg from Hercules is

Claire is actually canonically younger in Resident Evil 2 than Ashley is in 4, being only 19, but goddamn is this girl not going to let that stop her. And while Claire does have a bit more skill with self-defense, all that really adds up to is forcing Chris to teach her knife fighting and probably going to the shooting range with him a couple of times. Claire is very confident in herself, but she doesn't have much real world experience to back that up. Girl rode her motorcycle into a zombie-infested city with nothing but a gun (where did she get this gun? We don't know) to do a welfare check on her brother and came out less scathed than the literal cop she made friends with.

And then, there's Sherry. Claire finds a random child hiding in the police station, saying that she's looking for her mom, and makes it her personal mission to protect her at all costs. And when said girl gets taken by the literal chief of police? Claire grabs her grenade launcher and decides that's gonna be his problem because by god is she taking care of that little girl.

By the time they make it out of the city Sherry might as well be Claire's biological daughter, and she is not about to let anything happen to her (forthcoming events out of her control notwithstanding)

Which, in a way, honestly I think makes 19-year-old Claire Redfield actually a closer peer to Ethan Winters.

Ethan is a nearly 30-year-old man who works an office job (I think he's IT?) and whose wife went missing a few years ago. When he finds out she's actually alive he grabs a flashlight and hops in his car to drive to Louisiana to bring her home.

This man finds out that his wife has been possessed, and he doesn't give a shit. He loves her. He made a vow to care for and protect her, and by god is he going to test the limits of 'til death do us part. He takes on an entire family of fucked up hillbillies and literal mold demons to bring her home. And when he does? They have a daughter, and Ethan is ready to sacrifice the world for her too.

All of Resident Evil 8 is just him fighting a pantheon of demons to save his baby girl armed with nothing but a gun he grabbed off a dead guy (he's from Texas, so I'm not gonna question it) and his innate knowledge of how to make life-saving elixirs. And yes, he does save both his wife and his daughter

Idk, I just think it's interesting that Claire and Ashley are so similar in age and life experience, but Claire winds up having the most in common with the Awkward Suburban Dad in the end

[wild-lavender-rose]

Proposal

Pairing: Darry Curtis x fem!reader

Category: One-shot

Summary: Darry asks your abusive father for permission to marry you, a request that does not go over well. But Darry and you are determined to be together, no matter what it takes.

Warning: Verbally abusive father, drunk father, language, canon typical fighting

Prompts: This is for the @rumble-aint-a-rumble-without-me Valentine's Day event. I chose the prompts "I love you" and "I could marry you right now". Enjoy!

"Get off of my porch and oughta my sight, you filthy little-"

"Dad?" You walked faster down your street at the sound of your father's slurred cursing, paper bags full of groceries heavy in each arm.

"Look, I'm just trying to do things the right way, she deserves the best,"

"Oh god," you broke into a run. "Dad? Darry?"

"Then why the hell you comin' here askin' for her?"

"I can take care of her a whole lot better than you can,"

You rounded the corner to see your Dad backing Darry out onto the front porch. Your father was drunk again, but then there was seldom a time where he wasn't drunk.

"I'm about to take care of you right now." Your father raised the half empty beer bottle in his fist just as you kicked open the broken metal gate guarding the overgrown lawn to you and your father's dilapidated house.

"Dad, stop!" You dropped the groceries without thinking, running up the creaky porch steps to stand between him and Darry.

"Baby," Darry's tone softened.

"I told you not to bother with askin," you looked over your shoulder at him, noting how he had gotten dressed up for the occasion.

"There is no way in hell that I'll ever let you marry him." Your dad waved his beer bottle at you. "Now get in the house."

"No, Dad." You shook your head even as your insides trembled. "Darry and I have a plan, we've had it for a while. We're getting married."

"You are not! I won't let you!"

"I don't need your permission, Dad, I'm leaving."

"What the," your father spluttered. "If you leave I'll call the police and have him and his brothers arrested."

"For what? Taking care of your daughter?" Darry took a step closer, his chest pressing against your back. "I love her, sir. I love her and I'm gonna take care of her."

# # # # #

"He said what?!" Ponyboy burst out laughing as he flopped on the couch next to Sodapop. "Our Darry?"

"This stays in the family, all right?" Darry reached out for you as you came from the kitchen to the living room where the brothers all sat, tugging you easily into his lap. "Not a word about it to any of the others."

"We wouldn't want anyone else to know he's a softie." You grinned as you settled against him, draping your arms around his shoulders with your legs pulled into his lap.

Darry rolled his eyes but didn't bother to hide his smile. "I could marry you right now." He bumped his nose against yours.

"Can't wait three more days?" You nuzzled right back. "I don't mind sleeping on the couch until then."

"Let Ponyboy take the couch, he don't mind," Sodapop nudged Ponyboy who nodded willingly.

"I love you." Darry said.

You blinked, surprised that he said it in front of his brothers. "I love you too."

"What do you say we go wake up the justice of the peace now and have ourselves a wedding?"

You laughed. You should have known something like this was going to happen. A midnight wedding seemed the perfect start to the crazy life you and Darry were going to make together.

"Of course, babe. I'd love that."

"Happy Valentine's Day, baby. I love you."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Dare."

Fanfic Masterlist

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Jus In Bello | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Warnings: yay arrests, canon violence, canon gore, henriksen being lowkey bigoted, mentions of smut (MDNI, 18+ ONLY)

Word Count: 6043

A/N: my american readers, i know we are all mourning this week. i hope that this brightens your day a bit. i love you all!

Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist

Somewhere in Colorado, you and the Winchesters managed to track Bela down to a hotel. You rushed in with your gun stowed in your jacket and were surprised to find no one. Confused, you searched through drawers hoping to find the Colt instead. 

“Any sign of it?” Dean whispered commandingly. 

“No,” you replied. “This is definitely her room, though.” You held up three wigs from the dresser. 

Suddenly, the phone in the room rang. You shared a confused look with Sam and Dean. You picked the phone up trepidatiously, and didn’t say a word into it. 

“(Y/N)? Sweetie, are you there?”

“Bela,” you hissed. “Where are you?”

“Two states away by now.”

“Where?” you snarled. 

“Where’s our usual quippy banter? I miss it,” she sing-songed. 

“I want it back, Bela. Now.”

“Your little pistol, you mean?” she tsked. “Sorry, I can’t at the moment.”

“You understand how many people are gonna die if you do this?” you argued. 

“What exactly is it that you think I plan to do with it?” she scoffed. 

“Uh, I don’t know, take our only weapon against an army of demons and sell it to the highest bidder?” you remarked. 

“You know nothing about me,” she replied bitingly. 

“I know I’ll stop you,” you said evenly. 

“Tough words for a gal who can’t even find me.”

“I’ll find you, I swear to god. Because I have absolutely nothing better to do than hunt you down and kill you,” you said. 

“That’s where you’re wrong. You’re about to be quite occupied.” Her words had a sinking feeling forming in your stomach. “Did you really think I wouldn’t take precautions?”

Suddenly, police officers burst into the room and pointed guns at you and the Winchesters. Immediately, you put your hands above your head and dropped the phone. 

“Hands in the air!” an officer shouted. “Down on your knees.”

“That bitch,” Dean growled from his position on the floor beside you. 

The officers forced you down onto the ground with your hands behind your back. When the officers repeated your Miranda rights, though, you noticed Bela had only given your first name. Thankfully, your full identity was still concealed. 

Though, that momentary relief quickly dissipated when you heard the voice of the man you’d spoken to on the phone of that bank in the shapeshifter case.

“Hi, guys,” Henriksen said. “It’s been a while.”

You watched Dean lay his head down on the floor beside you in defeat. 

***

Stoicism had always been your forte when it came to run-ins with the police. Dean, however, was as quippy and defensive as ever. You loved him more than anything, but that was definitely not going to work in your favor in this situation. 

Dean and Sam were shackled together and brought into the police station first. Meanwhile, one guard stayed with you in the police car. Unfortunately, you were frisked upon your arrest, and anything you had to help you get out of your cuffs were now unavailable to you. 

One other guard returned and led you into the police station. You cut your eyes at the secretary clutching a rosary and cowering in fear while she muttered what you assumed to be a prayer. You smirked at the irony of the situation. 

You were then thrown into the cell across from Sam and Dean; the only two cells in the entire station. You remained silent, not even talking to Sam and Dean. Your anxiety was quickly getting the better of you. No matter what escape plan you tried to think of, you knew it was a lost cause. 

“Hey there, sweetheart,” Dean called from across the hall. 

You kept your eyes at the ground. 

Then, the sound of footsteps you attributed to Henriksen approached. He stopped between the two cells, pacing around and addressing the three of you. “You know what I’m trying to decide?”

“I don’t know—”

‘Don’t do it, Dean,’ you thought. 

“What?” your partner continued to remark. “Whether Cialis will help you with your little condition?”

“What to have for dinner tonight.” Henriksen clearly had no time for Dean’s comments today. “Steak or lobster, what the hell, surf and turf. I got a lot to celebrate. I mean, after all, seeing you three in chains…”

“You kinky son of a bitch. We don’t swing that way,” Dean sneered. 

“Now, that’s funny.” 

“You know, I wouldn’t bust out the melted butter just yet,” Dean continued. “Couldn’t catch us at the bank, couldn’t keep us in that jail.”

“You’re right. Fucked up,” Henriksen nodded. “I underestimated you. I didn’t count on you being that smart, but now, I’m ready.”

Dean scoffed. “Yeah, ready to lose us again?”

“Ready like a court order to keep you in a supermaximum prison in Nevada till trial. Ready like isolation in a soundproof, windowless cell, so that between you and me… probably unconstitutional.”

Your stomach flipped again at his words. 

“How’s that for ready?” Henriksen smiled. “Take a good look at Sam and— oh, nice to meet you, (Y/N)— you three will never see each other again.”

You felt like you could throw up. 

“Aw,” the officer mocked. “Where’s that smug smile, Dean? I want to see it.”

Dean shook his head in disbelief. “You got the wrong guys.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. You fight monsters. Sorry, Dean. Truth is, your daddy brainwashed you with all that devil talk, and no doubt, touched you in a bad place.”

‘Oh, fuck. C’mon, Dean, don’t do it,’ you silently begged. 

“That’s all. That’s reality,” Henriksen finished. 

“Why don’t you shut your mouth?” Dean spat through his teeth. 

“Well, guess what. Life sucks. Get a helmet. ‘Cause everybody’s got a sob story. But not everybody becomes a killer,” the officer pushed back. “And now I have three less to worry about. But what I’m curious about…” Henriksen turned to you. “What happened to you, (Y/N)? What’s your sob story?”

You stared up at him through your eyebrows angrily. 

“What, you met these two on the road somewhere? They convince you of this Satanist crap? Then what, you start givin’ it up to one of ‘em?”

“You shut your mouth now, Henriksen,” Dean roared. 

“Hmm,” the officer hummed. “I’m guessing it was Dean. I almost feel sorry for you. But I gotta tell you, that’s not your only issue, here. It took a while, but I figured you out. You an immigrant? ‘Cause you’re undocumented. Where you from? So I can send your ass back wherever you came from, and they can deal with you as they see fit.”

You still did not respond to him despite the rage and panic bubbling just below the surface. 

Henriksen seemed to get bored and look down at his watch. “Ah, well. It’s surf and turf time.” He laughed coldly and walked away from you. 

“(Y/N), you okay?” Dean asked, reflex seeming to have him pulling on the chains attached to his brother to try and get to you. 

You nodded.

“So, this is how it ends, huh?” Dean tried to remark. 

“No, Dean,” you murmured quietly. “We’ll figure something out.” After the “Mystery Spot” ordeal, you just wanted to spend some time with Dean taking a quiet case or finding Bela. This was not how you would’ve chosen for his last three months to go. You couldn’t believe this was going to be your fate.

Your anxiety was quickly getting the better of you, and you wanted nothing more than to be in the cell with Sam and Dean just for some form of comfort. 

Instead, you were isolated from them. You were feeling more and more isolated from both Winchesters lately. Maybe not physically but mentally. Mentally, you were just living in fear of the day that Dean left you. You were scared of what you were going to become after his death, especially after what the trickster told you. 

A man entering the cells from the office area caught your attention. He closed the heavy door behind him. “Sam and Dean Winchester. And Ms. (Y/N). I’m Deputy Director Steven Groves. This is a pleasure.”

“Well, glad one of us feels that way,” Dean sneered. 

“I’ve been waiting a long time for you three to come out of the woodwork.” Suddenly, Steven spun around and shot at you, hitting you in the left shoulder. You shrieked in pain. 

“(Y/N)!” Dean and Sam yelled. 

You fell back to the ground and scrambled around the cell trying to get away from the shots the man was firing. 

Sam must have realized the man was possessed and began the exorcism ritual, making Steven’s head whip from side to side. He stopped firing, thankfully. “Sorry, I've gotta cut this short. It’s gonna be a long night, fellas.” Then, the familiar black smoke shot out of Steven’s body, and the man screamed. 

Henriksen and two other officers burst through the door. 

“What the hell was that?” one officer asked. 

“Put the gun down!” another commanded.

“He shot him!” 

Sam froze, still holding the gun. “I didn’t shoot him, okay. I didn’t shoot anyone.”

“He shot me!” you squeaked pointing to the man on the ground. You rolled toward the cold cement floor holding your left shoulder with the opposite arm. 

“Get on your knees, now!” Henriksen ordered. 

“Okay, okay, okay,” Sam mollified. “Don’t shoot. Please. Look. Here.” He passed the gun through the bars. “Look. We didn’t shoot him. Check the body. There’s no blood. We did not kill him. Go ahead, check him.”

One officer stooped to check Steven’s body. “Vic, there’s no bullet wound.”

“He’s probably been dead for months,” Dean explained. “What did you do to him?” Henriksen demanded. 

“We didn’t do anything,” Dean responded. 

“Talk or I shoot!”

“You won’t believe us.”

“He was possessed,” Sam began. 

“Possessed? Right,” the agent laughed coldly. “Fire up the chopper! We’re taking them out of here now.”

“Yeah! Do that!” Dean threw his hands up as best he could in his cuffs in exasperation. 

“Bill?” there was static on the other end of the radio in one officer’s hands. “Bill, are you there?” There was no answer. 

Henriksen nodded for the man to go check outside. 

The three other officers stood with their guns pointed at each of you. 

You continued to writhe, the bullet wound in your shoulder making the entire left side of your torso hurt, waves of heat emanating from the hole in both sides of your shoulder. 

“Could somebody help her for fuck’s sake?!” Dean grunted.

“They’re dead,” you heard the radio in an officer’s belt say. “I think they’re all dead.” His voice was cut off with a loud scream. 

Henriksen grabbed the radio. “What the hell was that? Reidy? Reidy?! Come in? Reidy? Reidy?”

Henriksen never got a response. He and the other officers left trying to help the one who was likely dead by now.

You started trying to shove the jacket around your body into your wound as best you could with the limited amount of fabric and range of motion due to the cuffs around your wrists. Then, you noticed a roll of toilet paper atop the metal toilet in the corner.

“Sweetheart, you okay?” Dean asked. 

You laughed through your pain as you crawled toward the toilet. 

“I know, I know, stupid question. I wanna come help you. I’m sorry.” “It’s not your fault,” you hissed through your teeth, trying to keep pressure on the wound with the toilet paper. 

Then, the lights in the prison went off. 

Dean looked up at the ceiling. “Oh, that can’t be good.”

“Nope,” you groaned. “Fuck, man, what the fuck. What is wrong with our lives?”

Both brothers chuckled. 

Henriksen came back into the cell area. “What’s the plan? Kill everyone in the station, bust you three out?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean shot back. 

“I’m talking about your psycho friends. I’m talking about a blood bath,” Henriksen pressed. 

“Um, evidently, they’re not here to help us,” you groaned, motioning to the bullet wound in your shoulder. 

“She speaks,” Henriksen droned. 

“Look, you got to believe us,” Sam begged. “Everyone here is in terrible danger.”

“You think?”

“Why don’t you let us out of here so we can save your asses?” Dean begged. 

“From what? You gonna say ‘demons’?” He raised his gun, pointing it at the ceiling. “Don’t you dare say ‘demons’. Let me tell you something. You should be a lot more scared of me.” Then, he left. 

“How’s the shoulder?” Sam asked you. 

You took a pad of toilet paper with a large blood stain on it away from your shoulder. “I’ll live,” you shrugged. 

“Y’know, if we get out of here alive,” Dean added. 

“Right. So you got a plan?” you asked the brothers. 

Just then, you noticed the secretary peeking around a corner outside your cells. 

“Hey,” you said to her. 

Nancy backed off immediately, scared. 

“Hey, Nancy,” Dean said. “Look, my girl’s been shot real bad. Can you— Can you get her a towel, or something? Just one clean towel, okay?”

Nancy looked unsure. 

“Please, I’m beggin’ you here. Trust me, I don’t do that often,” Dean told her, trying to get her to open up a little. “Look. Look at us. We’re not the bad guys. I swear.” He gave her a smile, and Nancy shuffled away. 

You deflated. “Nice try,” you told Dean. “Thank you.” Your eyes sank to the ground, and then, movement out of the corner of your eye caught your attention. 

It was Nancy, who was back with a towel. 

“Thank you,” you smiled gratefully. 

“Thanks, Nancy,” said Dean. 

Nancy backed away from you when she’d given you your towel. Suddenly, Sam grabbed her from behind and pulled her against the bars. 

Nancy screamed, and an officer came in with a rifle.

“Let her go!” the officer demanded. “Let her go!”

Sam let Nancy go, and she left horrified. 

“You’re okay, Nance?” the officer asked her.

She nodded. 

The officer turned his attention back to Sam. “Try something again, get shot. And not in the arm.”

“Okay,” said Sam. 

“What the fuck was that?” Dean questioned, upset. 

Sam held up Nancy’s rosary. 

You snorted out a giggle. 

***

The towel was helpful, but not as helpful as some stitches, a clean bandage, and some antiseptic would be. 

“We’re like sitting ducks in here,” said Sam.

Dean sighed. “Yeah, I know. Would it kill these cops to bring us a snack?!” he shouted out his last words.

“Always thinkin’ with your stomach,” you snorted. 

Dean gave you a playful glare. 

“How many you figure are out there?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know,” you replied. “But they could be possessing anyone. Anyone could just walk right in, and we’d have no idea.”

“It's kind of wild, right? I mean, it’s like they’re coming for us. They’ve never done that before.” Dean smiled suddenly. “It’s like we got a contract on us. Think it’s because we’re so awesome? I think it’s ‘cause we’re so awesome.” 

You and Sam rolled your eyes. 

A sheriff entered and unlocked your cell.

“Well, howdy, there, sheriff,” Dean said to the officer. 

You stood, immediately uncomfortable and alert. “Uh, sheriff?”

“It’s time to go, darlin’,” he said monotonously. 

You backed up into the cell. “Uh, I’m okay! I’m comfy right here. Thanks, though.”

Henriksen suddenly appeared. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“We’re not just gonna sit around here and wait to die. We’re gonna make a run for it,” the man replied. 

“It’s safer here,” Henriksen pushed. 

“There’s a SWAT facility in Boulder.”

Henriksen stepped into your cell. “We’re not going anywhere.” Then, he shot the officer in the head. 

“Sam!” you yelled, and he tossed you Nancy’s rosary as you dodged a blow from the demon possessing Henriksen. You wrestled the gun away from him and threw it out of the cell. You scrambled to subdue the demon and dropped the rosary into the toilet. 

Between shouts from the brothers trying to break out of their cell and Henriksen grunting as you wrestled him, you got your cuffs around Henriksen’s neck and pulled hard. 

You knew it would hurt like a mother, but you flipped yourself over Henriksen’s head and pulled him to the ground with you where the holy-water toilet bowl was waiting. You shouted out an exorcism, continuously forcing his head into the bowl. You sat on his shoulders trying to use all your body weight to way the much stronger man down. 

“Hurry up!” you heard Dean yelling. 

“It’s too late. I already called them!” the demon told you between gasps as his head came out of the water. “They’re already coming.”

You shoved him back into the water and finished the exorcism. 

Henriksen screamed as black smoke shot out of his mouth and into the air vent in the ceiling. 

You got off the man’s back and sat down on the bed, panting. Henriksen had fallen to the floor. You then noticed the small crowd that had gathered around your open cell. 

“Is he… is he dead?” Nancy squeaked. 

Henriksen regained consciousness and coughed. “Henriksen! Hey,” called Sam. “Is that you in there?”

You got down to Henriksen’s level to give him a once-over. 

“I… I shot the sheriff,” Henriksen breathed out. 

You could feel Dean’s next quip coming. “But you didn't shoot the deputy.”

Despite yourself, you snorted out a laugh. You quickly regained your composure when you noticed Sam’s glare. 

“Five minutes ago, I was fine, and then…” 

You cut Henriksen off. “Black smoke? You were possessed.”

He looked up at you in disbelief. “Possessed, like… possessed?”

“That’s what it feels like. Now you know,” you shrugged. 

“I owe you the biggest “I told you so” ever.” Dean returned his gun to Henriksen. 

The agent stood and addressed the officer standing behind him that you’d just noticed. “Officer Amici. Keys.”

With said keys, he released you and the brothers from your cells and chains. 

Dean rushed to your side. 

“Alright, so how do we survive?” Henriksen looked between the three of you.

***

Dean insisted on patching you up. You insisted you could do it yourself, but Dean was just as stubborn as you were. Finally, you allowed him to work on you. 

Sam had drawn two devil’s traps on the floor of the station in the midst of Dean tending to you. The officer, whose name you learned was Phil, helped Henriksen prepare guns. 

Dean snorted at the guns. “Well, that’s nice. It’s not gonna do much good.”

“We got an arsenal here,” Phil replied. 

“It’s like using a BB gun on a T-Rex. That’s just gonna make them mad,” you informed them. 

“What do you need?” asked Henriksen. 

Dean smirked slightly. “Salt. Lots and lots of salt.”

Phil scoffed. “Salt?”

“What, is there an echo in here?”

“There’s road salt in the storeroom,” Nancy piped up from the corner. 

“Perfect. Perfect,” Dean sighed in relief. “We need salt at every window and every door.”

Henriksen and Phil left to go retrieve it. 

You hissed as Dean made a particularly rough jab at your arm with his stitching and grabbed his wrist. 

“Sorry,” he murmured. 

You stroked his wrist with your thumb briefly before dropping your hand. You turned to Nancy, who looked on silently. “How you holdin’ up, angel?”

“Okay,” she shrugged, taking a moment to collect her thoughts. “When I was little, I would come home from the Church and start to talk about the devil. And my parents would tell me to stop being so literal. I guess I showed them, huh?” 

You laughed softly. “Evangelical?” 

“Yeah, actually,” she replied. “I would ask if you are, but…” 

You laughed. “No. Raised Catholic, though.”

She made a sound of disapproval.

You laughed again. “Yeah, I’m not exactly crazy about it, either.”

Dean finished wrapping the bandage around your shoulder while you talked to Nancy. “Thank you,” you told your partner. 

He kissed your forehead as he stood from his chair. Phil returned at that moment. 

“Hey, where's my car?” asked Dean. 

“Impound lot out back,” Phil replied. 

Dean moved to leave. 

“Wait.” Phil stopped Dean. “You’re not going out there?”

“Yeah, I got to get something out of my trunk.”

You immediately stood to follow him. “I’m coming with you.”

“(Y/N), no,” Dean warned. 

“Dean,” you responded, leaving no room for argument. His gaze was intense, but you held it with equal ferocity. He was the first to look away, informing you that you’d won the argument. 

You smiled cheerfully and followed him out to the Impala. 

As soon as you were outside, Dean was angrily ranting. “I’m gonna fucking kill Bela, I swear.”

“Not if I kill her first.”

“I mean, she nearly got you fucking killed. Over a gun that means nothing to her. What the fuck is she playing at?” 

“Dean—” you tried to cut him off. 

“I swear to god, I’m gonna make it slow and painful.”

“Dean—”

“She’s gonna wish we got locked up in supermax,” he growled. 

“Dean—!”

“What?!” he asked, turning to face you. 

You were looking at him with such admiration, and his shoulders relaxed immediately as did his angry expression. “I love you,” you told him. 

Dean leaned down to kiss you fiercely in the middle of the impound lot, cupping your chin. You pulled yourself impossibly closer to him.

He pulled away from hungrily kissing you momentarily. “I would fuck you right now if I could.”

You laughed. “Demon hunting’s what does it for you?”

“Watching you demon hunt does it for me,” he said. “The way you held your own against Henriksen? Damn.”

You pulled his lips back down to yours but pulled away after a quick kiss. Dean’s lips chased yours, but you turned and started walking forward. 

“(Y/N),” he groaned.

“Hey, sweetheart,” you told Dean’s car as you approached it. You helped Dean pack his duffel bag with various weapons quickly until you caught sight of black smoke hurrying toward you. The lights in the lot flickered, and you smacked Dean’s arm frantically to get him to look. 

Dean immediately pulled you away from the car after shutting and locking it, and the two of you raced back to the station. 

As quickly as you could, you got back in the doors. “They’re coming!” you shouted, slamming the doors behind you and Dean. 

Black smoke hit the window beside Nancy, and she screamed. You grabbed Dean’s and Nancy’s hands and pulled them into the center office with Sam close behind. 

Dean tossed two sawed-off shotguns to you and Sam, and Henriksen looked between the three of you in admiration and confusion. 

Phil, Nancy, and Henriksen had salted the windows while Sam spray-painted devil’s traps on the floor. The building shook as the demons hit what you imagined was the invisible wall keeping them out. 

“Everybody okay?” Sam asked. 

“Define ‘okay’.” That was the first time you’d heard Henriksen’s voice tremble. 

“Alright, everybody needs to put these on,” ordered Dean, handing each person a protection necklace. “They’ll keep you from being possessed. There you go.”

“What about you guys?” Nancy asked.

You pulled down your jeans just enough to reveal the tattoo on your hip while Sam and Dean revealed theirs on their chests. 

“Smart. How long you had those?” Henriksen asked. 

“Not long enough,” Sam replied. 

***

You stayed in the office with Dean and Henriksen while Phil, Sam, and Nancy went to check the perimeter. Henriksen stared sadly at Melvin’s nameplate— the officer he’d killed— and your heart hurt for him. As much of a pain in your ass as Henriksen had been, he had a big heart. 

He then picked up one of the shells you were filling yours and Dean’s guns with. “Shotgun shells full of salt.”

“Whatever works,” Dean shrugged. 

“Fighting off monsters with condiments,” Henriksen said more to himself than you. “So. Turns out demons are real.” He took off his tie and began filling his own gun with the rocksalt shells. 

“FYI, ghosts are real too,” Dean noted. “So are werewolves, vampires, changelings, evil clowns that eat people.”

“Okay then,” the agent nodded. 

Dean smiled. “If it makes you feel better, Bigfoot’s a hoax.”

Henriksen snorted. “It doesn’t. How many demons?”

“Total?” you asked. “No idea. A whole lot, though.”

“You know what my job is?” Henriksen asked. 

“You mean besides locking up the good guys?” Dean smirked. “I have no idea.”

Henriksen began, “My job is boring; it’s frustrating. You work three years for one break, and then maybe you can save... a few people. Maybe. That’s the payoff. I’ve been busting my ass for fifteen years to nail a handful of guys, and all this while, there’s something off in the corner so big. So yeah… sign me up for that big, frosty mug of wasting my damn life.”

“You didn't know,” you told him.

“Now I do.” Henriksen looked thoughtful. “What’s out there? Can you guys beat it? Can you win?”

“Honestly? I think the world’s gonna end bloody,” Dean replied. “But it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t fight. We do have choices. I choose to go down swingin’.”

“Plus, you got nothing to go home to but your brother.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Dean replied, nodding at you. 

You smiled. 

“So I was right,” Henriksen nodded, smiling lopsidedly. 

“What about you? You rockin’ the white picket fence?” Dean asked Henriksen.

He shook his head. “Empty apartment, string of angry ex-wives.”

“Well, if there’s anything this one’s proven to me,” Dean nodded toward you again, “it’s that there’s someone for everybody.”

“Look at you getting sappy,” you said. “Imagine that.”

Dean smirked and clicked the barrel of the shotgun back into place. 

Suddenly, you heard a crash. You grabbed your gun and ran out into the lobby. 

A woman had broken in, but you couldn’t quite see who it was around Sam. 

“How do we kill her?” Henriksen asked, stepping up beside Sam.

“We don’t.” Sam lowered Henriksen’s rifle, informing you exactly who had gotten in. 

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, god.”

“She’s a demon,” Henriksen replied, confused. 

“She’s here to help us,” Sam replied. 

“Are you kidding?” Phil piped up.

“Are you gonna let me out?” Ruby asked. 

Henriksen looked to you, confused. You just shook your head in exasperation.

Sam scratched the ground to let Ruby out of the devil’s trap. 

“And they say chivalry’s dead,” she remarked. “Does anyone have a breath mint? Some guts splattered in my mouth while I was killing my way in here.”

“Show off,” you murmured.

Dean smirked. 

Ruby walked past you into the main office, and you, Dean, and Henriksen followed closely. 

“How many are out there?’ you asked. 

“Thirty at least,” she replied. “That’s so far.”

“Oh, good,” Dean snarked. “Thirty! Thirty hit men, all gunning for us.”

“Who sent them?” you asked. 

Ruby looked to Sam, who stood in the doorway. “You didn’t tell them? Oh, I’m surprised.”

“Tell us what?” you asked, cutting your eyes at Sam.

“There’s a big new up and comer. Real pied piper,” she explained. 

“Who is he?” Dean questioned. 

“Not ‘he’. Her,” Ruby answered. “Her name is Lilith.”

You laughed, immediately recognizing the name. “Like, from Isaiah? That Lilith?”

Ruby nodded. “Look at you, sparky. You almost impress me. She really, really wants Sam’s intestines on a stick. ‘Cause she sees him as competition.”

Dean turned his attention to Sam. “You knew about this?” Sam didn’t answer.

“Well, gee, Sam. Is there anything else I should know?!” Dean roared. 

“How about the two of you talk about this later? We’ll need the Colt.”

“About that,” you said to Ruby. 

She looked at you in anticipation. “Where is the Colt?”

“It got stolen,” you admitted. 

“I’m sorry. I must have blood in my ear. I thought I just heard you say that you were stupid enough to let the Colt get grabbed out of your thick, clumsy, idiotic hands. Fantastic. This is just peachy.”

“Hey, look,” you said. “You’re not my mother. Spare me the reprimanding, okay?”

“Shut up,” she told you. “Fine. Since I don’t see that there’s any other option, there’s one other way I know to get you out of here alive.”

“What’s that?” Dean asked. 

“I know a spell. It’ll vaporize every demon in a one-mile radius. Myself included. So, you let the Colt out of your sight, and now, I have to die. So next time, be more careful. How’s that for a dying wish?” she spat. 

“Okay, what do we need to do?” Dean asked. 

“Aw,” she tsked, “you can’t do anything. This spell is very specific. It calls for a person of virtue.”

Dean nodded. “I got virtue.”

The demon snickered. “Nice try. You’re not a virgin.”

The older brother laughed. “Nobody’s a virgin.”

Ruby looked at Dean and then at Nancy. 

“No. No way. You’re kidding me, r— You’re…” Dean trailed off under your warning gaze. 

“What? It’s a choice, okay?” Nancy’s cheek blushed, and she looked down to her ballet flats. 

“So, y-you’ve never… Not even once? I mean not even – Wow.” “Dean!” you scolded, lightly smacking the back of his head. 

“So, this spell. What can I do?” Nancy smiled at Ruby.

“You can hold still,” Ruby replied, almost smirking, “while I cut your heart out of your chest.”

“What?!” the woman squeaked. 

“Are you crazy?!” you pushed back. 

“I’m offering a solution,” Ruby said in response. 

“You’re offering to kill somebody,” Dean argued. 

“And what do you think’s gonna happen to this girl when the demons get in?”

Henriksen piped up. “We’re gonna protect her. That’s what.”

“Very noble,” Ruby scoffed. 

“Excuse me!” Nancy politely interjected. 

“Guys—” you tried, having heard Nancy trying to speak. 

“You’re all gonna die. Look. This is the only way,” Ruby continued, talking over you. 

“Would everybody please shut up?!” Nancy yelled. She turned her attention to Ruby. “All the people out there… will it save them?”

Ruby nodded. “It’ll blow the demons out of their bodies. So if their bodies are okay… yeah.”

Nancy paused thoughtfully. “I’ll do it.” The room erupted into a string of “hell, no”s.

“We don’t have a choice,” Ruby argued. 

“Yeah, well, your choice is not a choice,” Dean asserted. 

“Sam, you know I’m right,” Ruby tried, but the younger brother wouldn’t look at her. 

Dean smiled, thinking Sam would agree with him. “Sam? What the hell is going on?”

“Sam,” you urged. “C’mon, man.”

“It’s my decision,” Nancy tried. 

“Damn straight, cherry pie,” Ruby commented. 

“Stop! Stop! Nobody kill any virgins. Sam, I need to talk to you. (Y/N), you, too.” Dean led you and Sam out into the hallway. “Please tell me you’re not actually considering this. We’re talking about holding down a girl and cutting out her heart.”

“And we’re also talking about thirty people out there, Dean. Innocent people who are all gonna die, along with everyone in here,” Sam responded. 

“It doesn’t mean that we throw away the rule book and stop acting like humans. I’m not gonna let that demon kill some nice, sweet, innocent girl, who hasn’t even been laid. I mean, look, if that’s how you win wars, then I don’t want to win,” Dean stated. 

“Then what? What do we do, Dean?” Sam pushed. 

Dean turned away, and the wheels in your head turned. “Wait, I have an idea,” you announced. “It’s, uh, a stupid one, but it beats killing a virgin.”

“How stupid?” Sam asked. 

“Like, Dean-level stupid,” you answered. 

“I’m standing right here,” Dean said. 

“I’m kidding. You’re very smart when you wanna be.” You patted his shoulder softly.

“Okay, so, what’s the plan?” Sam questioned.

“Open the doors,” you said. “Let ‘em all in, and we go to town.”

***

You stood near the main entrance waiting for Dean to give the “all clear.” Ruby left moments ago through the doors you stood near, and it gave you a clear view of just how many demons lay ahead of you. 

Nancy and Phil waited on the roof with bags of salt to lock the demons in the station with you to carry out your fabulously idiotic plan. 

“All set?” Dean called to you. 

A string of “Ready!” came from you, Sam, and Henriksen. 

“Let’s do this,” called Dean. 

You broke the salt lines and devil’s trap protecting the doors in front of you. You threw the outside doors open, and suddenly, a demon appeared from above to kick his feet at you. You shot at the demon while you scrambled backward to try and scramble into the office. 

You stumbled toward the audio room, shooting shot after shot over your hurt shoulder. You met Henriksen inside, providing him cover while he waited for the symbol from Dean. 

Your shotgun clicked, having run out of shots, and you chuckled the gun at the snarling demon in front of you. 

“Henriksen, now!” Dean yelled, much to your relief. 

Henriksen turned it on while you wrestled with the demon in front of you, and the demon shoved you to the ground. He had your discarded shotgun pressed to your throat as the beginnings of the exorcism you had recorded played over the station’s radio system. 

The demons screamed horribly as your voice carried over the loudspeakers, and the demon above you rolled off, allowing you to breathe once more. As the exorcism finished, you struggled to get to your feet. You checked on Henriksen behind you, who’d also had a tussle with a demon, and he sighed in relief. 

You stumbled out of the audio room with Henriksen in tow, and you found the boys making their way out of the office.

After stepping over the collapsed, formerly possessed people scattered across the floor, Dean tucked you into his side as you took in the scene around you. You wiped blood off your lip and laughed in relief. You put your arm around Sam, and the three of you stayed there silently for a moment. 

***

You bid goodbye to Henriksen, Nancy, and Phil, and the FBI agent had said he’d kill you, Dean, and Sam in his report back to the Bureau. Despite how rocky your relationship with the man had been, you were grateful for the way it’d ended. 

Now, in your motel room, you packed up, and Ruby appeared at the door. 

“Turn on the news,” she ordered, walking into the room. 

You did so.

“The community is still reeling from the tragedy that happened just a few hours ago. Authorities believe a gas main ruptured causing the massive explosion that ripped apart the police station and claimed the lives of everyone inside. Among the deceased, at least six police officers and staff, including sheriff Melvin Dodd, deputy Phil Amici, and secretary Nancy Fitzgerald as well as three FBI agents, identified as Steven Groves, Calvin Reidy, and Victor Henriksen.”

Your hand flew to your mouth in horror.

“Three fugitives in custody were also killed. We’ll continue to follow the story here at the scene, but for now, back to you, Jim.”

Ruby turned off the television and looked at the three of you with an “I-told-you-so” look.

“Fuck you, Ruby,” you huffed. 

“Don’t shoot the messenger,” she responded. 

“Must’ve happened right after we left,” said Sam. 

Ruby tossed hex bags to you and the brothers. “Considering the size of the blast, smart money’s on Lilith.”

“What’s in these?” you asked.

“Something that’ll protect you. Throw Lilith off your trail… for the time being, at least.”

You nodded to her in thanks, and Sam thanked her audibly. 

“Don’t thank me,” she scoffed. “Lilith killed everyone. She slaughtered your precious little virgin, plus a half a dozen other people. So after your big speech about humanity and war, turns out, your plan was the one with the body count. Do you know how to run a battle? You strike fast, and you don’t leave any survivors. So no one can go running to tell the boss. So next time, we go with my plan.” With that, she left. 

Your head dropped in exasperation, and Dean reached over to grab your hand. He squeezed tightly, and you and the Winchesters sat in silence for a long while. 

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[bdsmrist]

gonna get a bit personal here, but as an actor it hurts me to see how ppl misinterpret a character as layered and nuanced as kim

now u might be wondering: girl wtf does being an actor have to do w lieutenant kitsuragi. well, i believe it to be the case that actors are storytellers. its our job to write in our characters studies what isnt in the script, to fill in the gaps, and portray that to the best of our abilities.

while in school, my professor’s always emphasized that as an actor, 100% of the time its more interesting when your characters motivations are rooted in love, rather than resentment. and i feel like too often i see ppl understand kim’s motivations be fueled by a desire to reject, protect himself, and detach himself from a world he resents.

now; thats not to say that isn’t entirely true. after all it is what the canon tells us explicitly: that he gave up on moralism, religion, etc, because he again and again was disappointed by the reality of elysium. therefore, that must mean that from there on out kim was a lost soul, that when coming to contact with harry’s spark, it lit his ambitions once more

and yes, to an extent, thats true, but its not the whole truth. to imply otherwise is very derivative. one of the things that makes kim such a compelling character is how he never stopped loving the world around him, *before* meeting harry. and even tho he limits how much he allows himself to indulge in it, it still bleeds through the cracks. hence, when he meets harry, he pours his devotion into the case, and in turn, into harry, without even knowing the guy

would a detached character have the patience and compassion he has for harry on day one? absolutely not. the man is borderline coddling to harry despite it all. and you can hear it in the performance!

jullian champenois’ voice is characterized by its mellow, soothing quality. hes gentle about it! and the actor made that choice for a reason! kim is a gentle person! he stands his ground, he sets boundaries, keeps u in course, and is nothing of a pushover. but regardless, his temperament is calm and reassuring. thats his function as a literary device! to contrast harry’s self-hatred and self-loathing with compassion and understanding!

think about it: would a character thats insistent on being a cold wall, sit on the swing-sets with harry for the pure purpose of just being there so harry doesnt have to confront that alone? if kim only wanted to keep people at an arms length, would he insist you two to be the ones to break the news to working class woman about her husband when ur at her doorstep? he said it himself; the precinct couldve handled it fine.

if kims actions were rooted in resentment towards an unfair world, would he be an instrument of justice for the rcm in the first place? kim, who verbatim despises the cops who become cops so they can use policing as an ego outlet?

kim kitsuragi cares. he cares very deeply, and i believe that the walls around him are a result of kim attempting to keep himself *in*, rather than keep others *out*. kim keeps HIMSELF on a short leash, because he knows that otherwise he’d go all in, just like harry.

harry and kim are at the opposite ends of the same spectrum of people that are too passionate for a world that does not reward such earnestness. therefore, harry copes with addiction, and kim copes with restrictions. regardless. its all comes back to love.

[intimacyequalsdeath]

Bubz's Slasher Fictober Day 3 : (Caramel Apple) Stu Macher

Here is day 3 of Fictober! As always I hope you all enjoy today's installment of Fictober. There's much more to come. Notes: Minors DNI, Canon typical violence / Whatever else if there is any.

Support me: KO-FI

"Goddamnit Stu, I told you that wasn't funny"

"Babe I said I was sorry. Me and Billy were just fuckin' around"

"You and Billy are always just fucking around"

Stu rolled his eyes, he had been over this with you many times before.

"Hey you knew what me and Billy did since the start, don't go throwing it back in my face now"

It was your turn to roll your eyes, sure you had known but that didn't mean you had to like it. With attention on the Ghostface ramping up Stu was seemingly spending nearly all his free time with Billy carefully planning out how carry out kill after kill without getting caught.

"I know that Stu, but the goddamn principal ? You and Billy could've gotten caught and because I know about you two I'm gonna go down too"

"You really think if me and Bill ever got caught that we'd throw you under the bus?"

"I know you wouldn't...Billy not so much"

Stu sighed, running a hand over the top of his head. You and Billy had an...interesting relationship to say the least. When you and Stu had first started dating, you and Billy were cordial sure but would never be best friends.

As the months progressed and Billy realized you weren't going anywhere he started to grow more semi trusting but still standoffish. Here recently something had changed, Billy was starting to almost grow hostile, as if he was expecting that any day now you'd turn him and Stu in to the police.

"Babe I told you Billy-"

"I know what you said Stu, You trust Billy but that only goes so far...you and I both know if Billy had to throw even you under the bus to save himself that he would."

"Oh c'mon, have a little more stock in Billy, I mean sure me and him have our moments but we're in this together. He wouldn't do that."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night Stu"

You remark before starting to turn and walk away. Stu quickly catches up to you and matches your pass as he walks beside you.

"Look" he sighs "I know you've never been a fan of the Ghostface thing, and I know these days especially Billy doesn't make you feel any better about it but I want you to trust me ok?"

"Stu, trusting you isn't the thing I have an issue with and you know it."

"I know I know, but I want you to trust me about Billy ok? I know what I'm doing and if he did try anything...you think I don't have contingencies set up for that?"

"Wow contingencies, that's a five dollar word for you Stu"

"That's rude as fuck."

Stu rolls his eyes but grins anyway, throwing a loose arm around your shoulders as the two of you walk. Stu steers you away from the parking lot where you would usually pile in with your friends and go home. He turns you in the direction of Billy and his car.

'Stu-"

"Shhhh, I said trust me remember?"

Billy Loomis was the last person you wanted to see right now, especially after the previous conversation with Stu. But you knew Stu wasn't going to take no for an answer.

Stu leads you from behind with his hands now on your shoulders up to Billy who's leaning against his car. The two of you stop right in front of Billy.

"You two, have some bonding to do"

Both you and Billy turn to Stu with confused expressions"

"Babe-"

"Stu c'mon man-"

Stu hushes the both of you before either of you can start to bitch about the predicament.

"No, you are my best friend and my partner. I want you two to get along and trust each other, that's why we're going to have a family Ghostface night!"

You freeze, eyes flicking between Stu and Billy.

"Stu....no"

"That's not the right answer baby"

"Stu I'm not helping you two kill someone"

"Why not?" Billy chimes in "Afraid that if we get caught you'll be an accessory?"

"N-no, I- I just-"

"Babe you want to be able to trust Billy and he wants to be able to trust you. This will help with that."

Billy looks at you rather smugly with a smile gracing his face.

"Yeah babe, give it a try and join the club."

You thought for a moment, you really, really thought. Stu did have a point, life would be so much easier if you and Billy could easily trust each other. Sure you were never gonna be best friends but mutual trust would help.

Plus if you were honest with yourself you probably could in some sense already go down as an accessory to Ghostface, unless you had trust in Billy that he wouldn't rat you out....Fuck it.

"Fine"

Billy and Stu look as you with raised eyebrows, almost as if they didn't expect you to agree to be apart of their grand plan.

"Wow, look at you" Billy remarks as Stu cackles and throws an arm around your shoulders once more.

"But...first, who are you guys even going after?" A question you'd live to regret.

Billy and Stu shared an almost sinister look between the two of them before both speaking at the same time. Saying only one name.

"Sidney Prescott"

[iz1331]

Gonna have to rewatch Beetlejuice and Beetlejuice Beetlejuice back to back to compose a list of "movie canon" that were deemed not brought back/continued in the sequel.

For example: Like how the sequel "disregarded" the fact that only those who "died of suicide can become civil servants in the afterlife".

NO ONE CONFIRMED THAT! It was just a throw away line by Otho, WHO WAS A FRAUD AND KNEW LITTLE TO NONE OF THE SUPERNATURAL!

The sequel even subtly corrected that misconception. Not everyone in the Civil Service in the Afterlife died of suicide, several were wrongly assigned that cause of death.

Miss Argentina was the only significant character that had an accident in Beetlejuice that we've seen who works as a civil servant. And maybe the flattened guy, but not sure if that was an accident or not. He looked quite jovial for a flattened guy.

Case in point: we have Wolf Jackson, and he certainly didn't die of suicide, yet he works as a self-proclaimed cop and runs the whole police joint there.

The earlier scrapped concept of Betelgeuse hanging himself was just that. An idea/concept of how he died. They never used that in the film, thus it's not canon. It's considered fanon in the fandom cause it's been more than 30 years of no solid confirmation of a sequel and we were hungry for any scrap of Beetlejuice material that we can consume and use as inspiration for art and stories to feed ourselves over the years until news of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was announced and got released.

The sequel answered some questions and gave us new content to work with. For both the characters and about the Netherworld/Afterlife in the Beetlejuice universe.

I'm all for creative liberty and freedom, make a canon divergent or write an Alternative Universe of it all, but don't just shit on the sequel and say that it's an "elaborate fanfiction" like the screenplay writers didn't put a lot of thought in it that even Tim Burton, Michael Keaton, Winona Ryder, and Catherine O'Hara finally, after DECADES of turning down script after script, found THIS story for the sequel to have the most potential and having the right tone as a follow up for the movie that meant so much to all of them.

Everyone who worked behind the scenes in creating the film from props, set location and design, puppetry, stop-motion, costume, stunt people, make-up, lights, sound, extras, production, marketing, EVERYONE put a lot of effort and passion and did AMAZING work on this project. I'm still amazed by every large and miniscule details I discover every time I rewatch it.

Was the story of the legacy sequel perfect?

Of course not.

No sequel ever is. Someone will always find something to complain about and that's just how things work in this industry, in this world.

But, was it fun? Was it both new, and brought the same feel from the original? Did the actors brought to life the characters we've loved for more than three decades and counting? Did it introduce new characters that fit the ensemble and had the same eccentric aura of the Beetlejuice world? Was it a relief that the story didn't just end 30 years ago?

Yes, it did. For me. I loved it. It's not perfect, but for someone like me who's a bit of a perfectionist on my works, and then finding the imperfections actually making the finished product better than I expected, it means a lot.

And for what it's worth, at least the time and love and the littlest of delusion I invested for Beetlebabes actually had something to show for. A one-sided romance it may be, at least I now know that Betelgeuse isn't harboring any lasting ill will towards Lydia for all these years.

That Tim also saw it that way. That Michael and Winona were open to this dynamic and relationship between the two characters/roles that they love and cherished to play.

Also, people change. No one stays the same. Life throws curve balls at us, and yes, to FICTIONAL characters as well. People mellow with age. One person or experience can change someone, even when they've been dead for 600 years.

[porcelainseashore]

Coffee & Secrets (6)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Rookie Cop! Leon x Barista! Fem! Reader

Summary: As a cozy coffee shop owner in Raccoon City, you’re no stranger to visitors seeking comfort, quiet, and warmth. When a rookie officer named Leon finds a kindred spirit in you, it sets in motion a chain of events that forever changes the course of your lives. An alternate universe set in Resident Evil 2 Remake and inspired by the game Coffee Talk.

Content & Warnings: Canon divergence, coffee shops, romance, slow burn, strangers to lovers, idiots in love, fluff, slice of life, swearing

Author's Note: We’re nearing the end of this series! Thank you to everyone on here for your support, especially in the comments and reblogs. This will probably be my last Leon fic for a while. Sometimes it felt like I was writing into the void and it was a little disheartening, but I started to realise that I need a change of scenery and explore writing through other fandoms.

AO3 Link

Chapter 6: Full Circle

“Am I looking at the new Chief of Police?” 

You cracked a grin as Marvin graced your shop clad in his shiny new outfit and badge that made him look almost regal. Gold stripes and stars lined the cuffs and epaulets of his navy blue jacket. He removed his elegantly embroidered peaked cap, tucking it under his arm as he rubbed his buzz cut. And there he was again, the same old Marvin that you knew.

“You sure are.” He winked, reflecting your grin before a minor shadow loomed over his face. “Can’t say the circumstances I got promoted in were the most pleasant though.”

Laying your hand on his shoulder, you gave it a firm, supportive squeeze. “Everyone knows you deserve this, Marv. You’ll do great.”

“Aww, look what you’ve done! Making me cry all over my nice suit like that,” he emitted a low chuckle, his voice cracking up as he patted your hand. Wiping away a stray tear from his waterline, he cleared his throat and pulled up a chair at the counter.

“So, what can I get for the man of the hour?”

“You know me, I’m a creature of habit,” he affirmed.

You caught the drift, your hands already busying themselves as if they had a mind of their own. “Something gingery.”

The kettle whistled as steam rushed through its spout. Taking it off the stove, you poured it over a mixture of the fresh ginger and turmeric root you had diced up. You allowed it to steep for a while before adding in the jasmine tea leaves. Finally, you strained it into a tea cup garnished with the flower petals.

“Your celebratory drink—Golden Dawn.”

“I can already tell I’m gonna love it.” Marvin lifted the cup to his lips, blowing on it lightly before drinking it sip by sip. 

“Nice music too,” he added, bobbing his head along to one of the tunes on the stereo. “This what you kids listen to these days?”

Over the next hour, you engaged in lighthearted chatter until it came to the never ending squabble of who would pay—or not. As always, you won, telling the older man to accept the gift and enjoy some quality time with his wife and daughters.

As Marvin prepared to leave, Ben and Claire coincidentally came through the door. All three of them stopped dead in their tracks, tensing up as they eyed each other awkwardly. 

It was Ben who broke the silence, extending his hand as he said, “Congratulations, Branagh. I mean it.” 

And he truly did. There was not a note of insincerity in the man’s tone.

At this, Marvin smiled, giving Ben a cordial handshake. “Thanks, Bertolucci. Guess I’ll be seeing you around, though hopefully not on my case,” he joked. 

That elicited a roar of laughter from Ben. “I go where the story leads me, Chief.”

“You really are the devil in disguise,” Marvin noted wryly. “Well, I’mma head off, so have a good evening.”

“Bertolucci. Redfield,” he acknowledged, tipping his cap to the two before giving you a final wave as he exited the shop.

“Drinks on me,” Ben declared, smacking the counter table with his palm.

You raised an eyebrow. “Wouldn’t a bar have been a better choice?”

“Yeah, we’re headed there after,” he confirmed. “Just had to patronize the place that fueled all my sleepless nights first.”

“I read the article by the way,” you mentioned in passing as you got to work. “It was very well-written and fair.”

“Facts, you can’t go wrong with facts,” he clarified. “I don’t sensationalize.”

“You could’ve been scathing, but you didn’t. That’s an active choice,” you pointed out.

The article had identified several instances of corruption and gross misconduct that the previous chief had been involved in, but in a relatively neutral tone. It also ended on a more positive and optimistic note, creating hope for the future of the RPD.

“Heh, well,” he shrugged, pressing against the bridge of his spectacles as he gave you a coy smile. “Maybe I am getting soft.”

Turning to Claire, he noted, “You’re quiet today, Red. You should be celebrating, kid.”

“Mmm,” she responded with mild disinterest, though you could see her glancing at the shop’s entrance every now and then.

“I didn’t have shot glasses, so I used your favorite—espresso cups,” you teased, placing the two orders on the table. “These should make good pre-drinks.”

“What’s in it?” Ben asked skeptically, unused to anything other than his trusty coffee.

“Let’s just say a combination of lemon, olive oil and cinnamon. I added some other flavorings to make it more palatable,” you explained. “Prevents hangovers.”

Swirling the liquid, he pinched his lips together and remarked, “Guess it wouldn’t hurt. Bet it’s got one of those hippy names too?”

“Grandma’s Cure.”

“Hah! That’s a good one!” he exclaimed, taking a swig from his demitasse.

There was a short pause before he gave his verdict, “Hmm! Not bad… not bad at all.”

However, Claire still left hers untouched and her mind appeared to be elsewhere.

“Hey, you okay?” you asked out of concern.

Claire shook herself out of her thoughts, stumbling over her words, “Y-yeah, shit, I’m sorry.”

Consuming the drink as quickly as possible, she thumped the cup back onto the counter, cleaning her mouth with the back of her hand. Fortuitously, your next customer who came through the door appeared to be the one she was looking for.

“Leon?”

The young officer froze, swallowing nervously as he stared at her. “Claire.”

You and Ben exchanged looks as you tilted your head in the direction of the exit, indicating to him to give them some space. He nodded discreetly in response, understanding what you were getting at.

Immediately, he stood up with a grunt and clapped Claire on the back. “Alright, Red, I’ll make a headstart first and you can join me at Jack’s Bar when you’re ready.”

With that, he placed some cash on the table, casually saluting you before making his way out.

Claire wasted no time getting to the crux of the matter. “That anonymous tip—it was you, wasn’t it?”

Slumping down on the seat beside her, Leon conceded, “Yeah, you got me.”

“I shouldn’t have pressured you into it, I’m sorry,” she blurted out.

“No, you wanted to do the right thing,” he sympathized. “I was so caught up in an ideal that never existed, I forgot about that.”

“It was decent of you to get Bertolucci to hold off on publishing the article until Irons stepped down,” he continued. “At least it was less of a blow to the department as a whole.”

“Still, the way I treated you was uncalled for,” she argued. “You’re a good friend, Leon, I…” her voice cracked.

“Sometimes, people say things because they’re hurt,” he mentioned, giving you a knowing look. 

You smiled back, acknowledging the very same advice you had given him when you first met.

“Pals?” He stuck out his palm.

“What are you, twelve?” she scoffed. Breaking into a dazzling grin, she grasped his hand as though they were sealing a pact. “Pals.”

“Care for another?” you offered, presenting the drinks you had crafted up on the side.

Claire’s eyes twinkled. “Don’t mind if we do.”

Sherry arrived soon after, instantly taking to the redhead like an older sister. Eventually, Claire went off to join Ben, promising to return for a proper goodbye before leaving to finish her semester.

“How was school?” you asked, scooping yet another dollop of whipped cream into Sherry’s drink upon her instructions. She could be quite assertive when she wanted to be.

“Good…” she hummed. “Made a friend.”

“That’s awesome!” Leon commended.

“Oh, and no one dares to touch me, ’cause I told them you’ll kick their ass,” she added.

“Wait, what?” he guffawed, but she suddenly had the urge to use the bathroom and scurried off.

“Impossible,” he huffed as you snickered.

Leaning on your elbows over the counter, you addressed him, “Not that I don’t ask you this every day, but anything new with you?”

“Well, apart from the stuff with Claire and the RPD, it turned out that the background checks on the suspicious lady in red came up clean,” he reported.

“Wow, Kevin must be pissed.”

“You don’t say. Wesker kinda just lets her through too. The whole thing just screams trouble to me,” he admitted. “Guess you win some, you lose some.”

“Anyway, speaking of Kevin, he told me to pass you this.” Chucking a folded letter on the table, his icy blue eyes watched you like a hawk as an unreadable expression formed on his face.

“Huh, looks like everyone’s doing the rounds today,” you muttered, opening the paper to read its contents.

A telephone number was written down in bold black marker, followed by a “CALL ME ;)”

Your shoulders trembled as you burst out laughing, shaking your head in disbelief. That guy had some nerve for pulling off such a stunt, unless…

“You gonna?” Leon quizzed, and you swore you could sense a hint of jealousy in his voice.

“Whaddya think?” you smirked, closing the gap as your nose nudged against his.

His eyes fluttered, and he sucked in a sharp breath. You felt his lips barely graze yours until—

“So… are you, like, boyfriend and girlfriend?”

All at once, you were back at square one, Leon having hastily distanced himself away from you as Sherry stared at the two of you inquisitively.

“Yes—no. I mean, no?” Leon stuttered, his cheeks burning crimson as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

You let out a frustrated sigh, deciding to leave them to their devices for the moment while you counted stock in the cabinets. At some point, Sherry wanted to go home and Leon took it upon himself to drive her back.

As you said your good nights, to your surprise, Leon wrapped his arms around your waist, dragging you in for a spontaneous embrace. “We’ll talk about this soon—about us,” he whispered into your hair.

Soon could not come soon enough.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[adrienneleclerc]

Don Refri

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Hispanic/Latina! Reader

Summary: Y/N has been the police records clerk for a few months. He’s known as Detective Grumpy to everyone in the district, but she’s the only one who calls him Don Refri. Walter gets jealous when there is a new detective around.

A/N: Walter Marshall is probably my favorite Henry Cavill character to read about, I need more content of him. I’ve also been watching a telenovela and the way Alexander has been acting with Lola when they were fighting, I thought “what if Walter was like this?” So here it is. Also, LATIN PRESENTATION FOR HENRY CAVILL!

For all intent and purposes, this one shot is very humorous, sort of like a sitcom, Walter doesn’t follow canon AT ALL, but I did try to “research” what happens in a precinct.

Y/N was entering the district with a thermos in hand, all bundled up.

“Ay, hace un pinche frío, why the fuck did I move to Minnesota, it’s so cold.” Y/N said as she took off her coat and Matthew started laughing. “Don’t laugh like that, I’m not meant for cold weather.”

“Just start working on something before detective grumpy comes in and starts yelling.” Matthew said, taking Y/N’s coat, folding it.

“I’m not scared of Don Refri, but I will start working because i have to make the case files of whatever criminal is out now so Don Refri and detective Dickerman Can catch them as soon as possible.” Y/N said and she started sipping hot chocolate from her thermos. As she was working, Walter came in. “Good morning, Don Refri.” Walter rolled his eyes at her.

“Morning, Y/N.” Walter mumbled and went to his office. Matthew, Glasgow, and Rachel stared at Y/N. Y/N looked at them.

“What?” Y/N asked.

“You call him Don Refri to his face and he does nothing, but we almost get written up when he overheard us reference him as Detective Grumpy. How is that possible?” Glasgow asked.

“I don’t know, but I’m happy about it, not gonna lie.” Y/N said. She began working on the computer, smiling to herself. No one but her bestie knows about her crush on the grumpy detective.

“I think he has a soft spot for you, what do you think?” Rachel asks.

“Maybe he does.” Y/N replied.

A few moments after creating the case files, Y/N heard Walter yell “Fuck” from his office.

“I wonder what’s got him worked up. Y/N, go check on him.” Matthew said.

“Fine. Now I know how my brother felt when I sent him to ask our mom something.” Y/N said. She got up from her desk and went to Walter’s office, saw that he threw his stuff off his desk and is now running his hand through his hair, exasperated.

“What do you want, Y/N?” Walter asked.

“What’s got you in such a bad mood, Don Refri?” Y/N asked.

“First; you keep calling me that.” Walter started and Y/N rolled her eyes.

“I told you, start being open about your feelings and then I’ll stop calling you don refri, Don Refri.” Y/N replied and Walter rolled his eyes. “What’s the other thing that got you in a bad mood?”

“They’re transferring another detective here.” Walter massaged his temples.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Y/N asked.

“Not if the detective is a fucking pain in the ass. He hits on anything with skirt.” Walter commented. “He has a womanizer, player kind of reputation and I don’t want that guy in this district.”

“Why is he getting transferred?” Y/N asked.

“Don’t know. Hopefully I have time before this fucker gets here.” Walter starts picking up the stuff he threw and Y/N helped him until they heard a voice.

“Isn’t anyone going to welcome me?” The man sounded arrogant.

“Too late. Let’s go.” Walter said, after putting everything back on his desk and him and Y/N went to the front of the district, Y/N went back to her desk. “Team, this is…what’s your name again?” Walter asked.

“Ha ha, nice to see you haven’t changed. I’m Detective Tyler Delgado, I just transferred here.” Tyler introduced himself.

“Well this is my team, Matthew and Glasgow are technicians, Rachel is a profiler and psychologist, and Y/N here is our records clerk.” Walter introduced them to Tyler.

“Nice to meet you guys.” Tyler said, “Especially you.” Tyler said, looking at Y/N before winking.

“Well, Let’s get back to work.” Walter said, leaving with Tyler.

The day went on Walter and Y/N were the only ones left in the district, she was finishing up the police logs.

“Ugh, i can’t wait to sleep.” Y/N said.

“What did you think of Delgado?” Walter asked.

“I Don’t have much of an opinion of him, he doesn’t look like a fuckboy though.” Y/N commented.

“I never said he was a fuckboy, I said he had the reputation of one, big difference.” Walter said.

“Yeah, whatever. If you’re worried about Rachel going out with him, I don’t think she would fall for any of his ‘tricks’ because of her psychology background.” Y/N commented as she took a sip of soda.

“It’s not Rachel I’m worried about.” Walter replied, looking at Y/N. Y/N looked at Walter with wide eyes and she put her soda down.

“Me? You’re worried about me? Why are you worried?” Y/N asked, please say it’s because you like me she said in her head.

“I just don’t want you to get taken advantage of.” Walter said.

“Do I look easy to you, Walter? I know I’m a few years younger than you but I’m not naive, I know when someone has other intentions, there’s a reason why I wanted to be an FBI profiler.” Y/N said.

“I’m just saying, I saw you and Delgado flirting when he was giving you some files.” Walter said.

“I was being friendly! Por Dios, uno ya no puede ser amable o que?” Y/N said, crossing her arms.

“What does that mean?” Walter asked.

“It means I can’t be nice to someone without being accused of trying to sleep with them.” Y/N said in a huff, packing her bag.

“When did I accuse you that?” Walter asked while raising his voice.

“It doesn’t matter, don refri, I finished, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Y/N said and she left without kissing Walter on the cheek or hugging him.

The next day, Walter was running late because he was talking to Angie about Faye. When he entered the district, he saw Y/N and Tyler talking, as he got closer, he heard part of their conversation.

“It’s a date, I’ll pick you up tonight at 8.” Tyler said, winking at Y/N and walked away. Y/N smiled slightly until she heard Walter.

“What was that about?” Walter asked behind Y/N, scaring her and she put her hand in her chest.

“No me asustes así!” Y/N exclaimed as she hit his arm. Of course it didn’t hurt since Walter works out a lot, but he still winces because that’s how he is with Y/N.

“You’re going out with Delgado? After telling me I shouldn’t worry about you? Are you kidding me, Y/N?” Walter questioned.

“Sabes algo, Don Refri? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were jealous.” Y/N said. Hold up, is he jealous? That HAS to mean he likes me, oh please don’t be such a don refri and tell me you like me, PLEASE! Y/N thought to herself

“I’m looking out for you just like I would look out for Faye and Rachel, I am protective over the women who are close to me, especially with this job. I’ll talk to you later.” Walter said and walked away.

Y/N sat at her desk, very confused over what just happened with the grumpy detective.

A week went by and Walter observed Y/N and Tyler. Whenever they would be together during their lunch break or just together in general, Walter scowled. But one day he was walking by Tyler’s office and he heard something suspicious.

“I’m still at work…yes, I’m going to be late again…I’m sorry, the captain is tougher than at the last precinct…I’ll see you at home, love you, baby.” And Tyler hung up the phone. Walter walked in his office.

“Who were you on the phone with, Delgado?” Walter asked.

“My niece, it’s her birthday today.” Tyler lied, Walter could tell. This wasn’t the first time Walter heard a suspicious phone call like this but it’s the first he confronted Tyler.

“Well then, see you later.” Walter said as he walked out of Tyler’s office. He grabbed his lunch from the fridge, heated it up, and walked back to his office where he would do a background check on Tyler Delgado. “I’m not jealous, Y/N is like a sister to me, I just want to make sure she’s safe.” Walter said to himself as he was checking all the information that he managed to pull up about Tyler.

For what seemed like an eternity to Walter, he found out that Tyler Delgado is married! He took a photo of what he found on the computer, he went into the break room to look for Y/N and he found Tyler leaning in to kiss Y/N so he did what any man would do when they see a married man try to kiss their crush, I mean, their “friend”, and punch them in the face. Walter punched Tyler so hard that Tyler got knocked out and was on the floor, out cold.

Y/N was in shock. “Are you insane?!? Que te pasa?!?” Y/N yelled. “You killed him, you fucking killed him.”

“Oh please, how am i going to kill a man with a single punch, Y/N? Seriously, think.” Walter said.

“Well I don’t know, you work out a lot, you clearly have a lot more muscle than Tyler, you probably killed him.” Y/N said.

“You look at my muscles a lot?” Walter said with a little smirk.

“Don’t change the subject.” Y/N said firmly. Rachel was entering the break room with a box,

“Hey, Matthew brought doughnuts, you guys want some? What the fuck happened here?” Rachel asked when she saw Tyler on the floor and she place the box on the table, closing the break room door.

“Oh well what happened was Don Refri here came in and just punched Tyler for no fucking reason. You’re a psychologist, is this an act of jealousy?” Y/N asked.

“First of all, it wasn’t for no fucking reason, he’s scum, did you know that he’s married?” Walter yelled.

“What?” Both Y/N and Rachel asked,

“Yeah, He’s married, and He’s been married for 4 years.” Walter said

“Ugh, stop lying, Don Refri, and just admit that killed him because you’re jealous and that’s it!” Y/N yelled.

“Jealous? You think I’m jealous, really? Of course I’m not jealous.” Walter said, stepping closer to Y/N, resulting in getting closer to Tyler’s unconscious body.

“Careful, you’re gonna kill him again.” Y/N said.

“How am I gonna kill him again if he’s already dead?” Walter teased Y/N.

“Well, He’s not dead, he’s still breathing.” Rachel said, looking a Tyler, seeing his chest rise and fall.

“Whatever, Rachel, why would you think I’m jealous? Do you really think I’m jealous, Y/N? Please.” Walter asked.

“Mm hmm, sure, and your fits just has a mind of its own? Ah! I cant even speak, I’m so mad, your fist, fist!” Y/N shouted the last part of her sentence.

“I can’t understand what you’re trying to say, speak clearly.” Walter said in a fed up tone.

“I am speaking clearly! Fist, fist, fist! You know what? Say whatever the hell you want, to me, this was a crime of passion, you can’t tell me different.” Y/N said and Rachel just observed their argument while eating a doughnut and drinking her coffee thinking to herself that these two people totally love each other, are at the very least shave feelings for each other.

“Y/N, you can’t possibly be acting this way?” Walter questioned.

“Acting what way, hm?” Y/N asked.

“Like this!” Walter said, gesturing to her with his hands. That’s when Tyler started to come to and he sat up.

“What happened?” Tyler said groggily.

“Shut up!” Walter said, punching him AGAIN. Rachel’s eyes were wide as plates, and so were Y/N’s.

“What’s wrong with you?!?” Both women yelled.

“What? I Don’t like being interrupted while I’m speaking.” Walter stated

“Oh my god, You’re crazy, i need to get out of here.” Y/N said. She left the break room with Walter following her. Walter grabbed her wrist and they walked to an empty interrogation room. “What are you doing, Don Refri?”

“Fuck it.” Walter whispered before kissing Y/N passionately in the interrogation room, only lasting when they were out of breath. Y/N pulled away first.

“What was that, Walter?” Y/N asked. The first time she called him by his first name.

“You wanted me to admit I was jealous, right? Well, here I am admitting that I was jealous of you and Tyler. But i am not lying about him having a wife, I did a background check on him before knocking him out, look.” Walter said, showing Y/N his phone. Y/N grabbed his phone, seeing it was true. “I’ve had feelings for you since you started working here but I am very bad of expressing my feelings, as you point out to me daily.” Walter admitted.

“I have liked you since I started working here too. Does this mean we’re together now?” Y/N asked. Walter chuckled, taking Y/N’s hands in his.

“It means I’m going to take you on a date after our shift is over. Hopefully Tyler doesn’t report me.” Walter said and Y/N laughed.

“You’re probably going to be suspended but you can worry about that later, i have reports to write up.” Y/N said and Walter opened the door for her so they could leave the interrogation room. The first time since becoming a detective, Walter had a smile on his face. It was small, but it was there.

The End

Thank you for reading my very first Walter Marshall fanfic, hope you liked it

[thecapricunt1616]

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 18

♡ Chapter Inspo: The Tortured Poets Department ; TS - 'I scratch your head, you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever. But you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head, but i've read this one where you come undone - I chose this cyclone with you, and who's gonna hold you like me?'

♡ Summary: Winnie meets Donna for the first time, Carmy ends up needing an emergency therapy session.

♡ W/C: 8,071

♡ Posted Date: 04/22/24

♡ A/N: Eep here we are! 18 chapters and the plot is finally starting to thicken up! I'm enjoying where this story is going very much. I hope you all are too! When I heard the golden retriever line I was like - wait....Carmy and Winnie hahahah!!! I'm loving this new album V much - tried not to add too much Taylor-talk in here but it's CANON that Winnies a fan so it would be OOC for her to not be excited heheheh ♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, Physical Violence, Alcoholism, Mentions of Police, Family domestic abuse, attempt to enable said behaviors, Sad Carmy

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

Her shrill voice bounced off the walls, and quite frankly made my head hurt. I took a deep breath, clearing my throat and preparing for what was to come. I’d been apart of many screaming matches in my life since Id realized I could fight my mother back - so at minimum 15 years worth of defending myself against a raging narcissist.

“You don’t have to talk to her, my purse is just in there- I need it it has our house keys” I said so just we could hear. 

“Where is he! CARMEN ANTHONY. YOU WILL COME SPEAK TO ME I AM YOUR MOTHER!” she shouted. It was clear she was drunk by the way she was speaking and annunciating her words. 

“Baby go- go outside, I’m gonna deal with her” he said softly, his hands were shaking. 

“I’m not leaving you alone, bear. I promise, I’m not gonna add fuel” I said and took his hand, holding it in mine and squeezing gently. “I love you - and that means we do things together even when they’re hard” I whispered and he nodded, swallowing thickly. 

“Donna! Donna sweetheart we should step outside huh? Let’s go, let’s go outside, we'll have a cigarette. The babies are here, you don’t want them to hear this? No?” Jimmy told her, ushering her down the hall towards where we were in the dining room that contained the front door. 

When she saw him it was like everything stopped, I felt like I was trapped in a lions den, or a fucking bear cave more like it. “Who is this?” She said, just above a whisper and she looks at me, then our enclasped hands, then Carmen again. “Who the fuck is this, Carmen?” She questioned 

“Mom. Mom. Listen-“ I interrupt him because I’d never heard his voice sound so small and scared 

“Hi! I’m Winnie?” I said casually. “And- I assume you’re Donna? Right?” I gently rubbed the back of his hand with the pad of my thumb, it felt like I was trying to tame a mountain lion with a smile. 

“And what kind of fucking name is Winnie. What the hell is this- a goddamn cartoon? And why are you in my daughters house?” She asked and I maintained my cool, seeing as the whole family pretty much had silently crowded in the hall to watch this go down. 

“Oh-“ I cleared my throat, trying to maintain my cool and I held our hands up that were laced together “I’m well acquainted with your son.” I drop them back to our sides “he’s lovely. May I just say you did a wonderful job raising him.” I said and he squeezed my hand tightly 

“And I’m here to talk to said son alone. So you can take your cute little carrot top self back wherever you came from and fuck right off missy “ she snapped and I raised my brows, but before I could open my mouth Jimmy stepped in 

“Heyyy! Hey hey! Donna- Donna the girl hasn’t done anything wrong come on-“

“Oh shut up jimmy.” She seethed 

“MOM!” Carmen snapped, “I’m not fuckin’ doing this” he rose his voice so she could tell he was serious “I’m not. That was it- we’re done we’re leaving good fuckin job- I’m fucking leaving. Syd can you bring Winnie’s fuckin purse please?” He called to her and I saw her shoving through everyone gathered in the hallway to get back into the living room.

“Oh so you’re gonna choose this stupid girl over your own mother? What are you too good for your mother now? Is she- is she some hot shot chef? Oh- no let me guess- she’s a nurse since you messed things up with the Doctor, Claire?” She said and my mouth dropped 

“Actually-“ I scoff “I work at a library- your son is the ‘hot shot’ chef. The only one in your family might I add? Donna, you are speaking to everyone horribly right now. Why do you think he wouldn’t want to talk to you when you’re acting like-“ I see her jerk her arm and I am suddenly soaking wet, and my eyes are stinging worse than I’d ever felt in my life. I shrieked, wiping my face furiously and coughing, my lungs burning as the alcoholic drink that had been thrown in my face choked me from when I’d gasped in surprise and inhaled a gulp of it. 

“Oh- Donna!” Jimmy said “no- no now you gotta go dear, what’s wrong with you?” 

“Someone had to shut her up to stop that annoying little speech she was putting me to sleep” she laughed drunkenly 

“Mom what- WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?! ARE YOU? WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING OBSESSION RUINING EVERYTHING?! THIS IS WHY - THIS- THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU- I CAN'T STAND YOU! I CANT FUCKING STAND YOU MOM” Carmy roars. 

“Oh my god you crazy bitch” Sadie said angrily. I couldn’t even see what was going on, everything was sticky and wet and it was driving me insane. I was still stuck in a coughing fit as I rubbed my eyes but the stinging was getting worse. The amount of overwhelmed, embarrassment, fear, anger I felt threw me headfirst into a panic attack. 

“What did she throw? Oh my god my contacts Sadie - I- I need to take out my contacts” I said gasping and coughing as I felt a hand on my arm guiding me to the kitchen 

“I know, I know, shhhh” she coaxed, bringing me over to the sink. “I’m gonna get them out but you have to do me a favor and stay still” she ordered, but I could barely fucking understand her with the pain. 

I began sobbing uncontrollably and she turned the sink on “I’m so sorry” I said and we heard crashing coming from the front room 

“What? What did she do?! MOM!!!” I heard Natalie shout “MOM THESE ARE BRAND FUCKING NEW CARPETS!! GET HER OUT!!!” She shrieked.

“YOUR FUCKING CARPETS? SHE JUST BLINDED MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND AND YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE CARPETS, NAT?! THIS IS ON YOU, YOU’RE THE FUCKING REASON SHES HERE.” Carmy was in a rage. I’d never heard him so angry before.

“Everything e-everything I’m sticking-  i’m sticking oh my god Sadie. Everything stings, Sadie. Help me” I cried, “what did I even say why did she do that?” I sobbed, each time I tried to open my eyes I was faced with a searing pain. All of the screaming, the fear of his mother finding me and doing further damage for god knows why, the worry for Carmy and what was happening to him - it was all too much.

“CALL THE FUCKIN’ COPS THIS SHIT IS GETTIN’ TOO FUCKIN OUT OF HAND.” Richie shouted 

“I am alreadyyy on it- yup okay- let me just- I can’t hear them! I’m gonna go out there“ I heard Syd say awkwardly 

“Open” Sadie said and pried my left eye open, quickly scooping out the contact before doing the same with the right causing me to wince. She had to essentially trap me against the counter and wall so I wouldn't out of instinct slap and kick her for trying to dig in my fucking eyes with her fingers.

“Ok rinse” she said once she managed to get both of the contacts out. I dove for the sink, scrubbing my face over with water, rinsing out my eyes quickly and doing my best to hold them open under the running water despite the burning and uncomfortable stinging.

“G-get Carmen please, please” I said through shaky sobs. I hadn’t even been able to listen to what was going on since Sadie had scooped out my contacts, it was as if she and I were the only people in the house due to all the adrenaline from the pain coursing through my body allowing me to focus on the task at hand the fucking blinding pain.

“Yup ok. Okay I’ll find him” she said and I heard a sharp slap come from the other room

“MOM - MOM!! DID YOU REALLY JUST HIT HIM LIKE THAT! Oh, Carmy- Are you ok? Go- go out of here- go” Natalie shrieks at donna and there’s a loud smashing of glass 

“MY PLATES!!! MY PLATES!!!” Natalie shouts and starts to cry, “Jimmy! Jimmy those are my special china we got at our wedding!” She sobs “Mom! Why are you doing this?!” she pleaded

“That bitch is FUCKED up! What in the fuckin ghetto ass shit! Isn’t this the north side?!” Sadie said, causing Richie to laugh 

“Welcome to the fuckin Berzatto house my friend” he told her loudly over the chaos

“Natalie! Natalie - Honey- Uncle Jimmy will replace your plates, Come on honey we need to get her out I need your help grab her other arm!” I heard Jimmy tell her 

“Oh my god baby” I heard from behind me and Carmy rushed over, touching my back and I flinch.

“Don’t- don’t touch me I’m gonna have a panic response I can’t see- I don’t wanna hurt you” I said quickly, trying to even my breathing and stop crying so hard. “Please get my bag” I told him, continuing to rinse my eyes until the pain had subsided enough to open them. 

“Yeah- uh…yeah” he said and I heard him go into the living room. I felt around the counter until I found the paper towel, patting my face down with it to dry.  

When he came in, I took my glasses out of my purse, putting them on my face to see his cheek was unnaturally bright red- it looked so painful. There was a big raised mark with fanned out stripes from a handprint - she slapped him so hard it would bruise. 

Suddenly, my panic for myself melted away and I went in to protector mode, any worry or fear melted and reformed into concern for the sweet, damaged man before me. “Oh..Bear” I whispered, rushing to the freezer and getting a bag of frozen vegetables. “My poor love” 

I went over, gently pressing it to his cheek and he hissed in pain “yeah…” he said softly. “ it looks bad?” He asked

“I think she should go to jail. Either that or she agrees to go to rehab,” I said softly, gently thumbing out the wrinkle in his brow with my thumb. 

“She’s not gonna go to rehab” he muttered, looking up at the ceiling and swallowing hard. I could tell he was biting back tears, as was I, because this environment wasn’t safe to cry. 

“Then she goes to jail. Because this is gonna give you a black eye - and don’t you know how much I love your pretty face?” I joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit and I kissed his good cheek. 

He cracked the slightest smile, “yeah she really got me. She’s never uh…well not since I was a kid but I don’t think she’s ever hit me with all her strength like that. I was scared for a second she broke my fuckin jaw” he said and I gently rub his shoulder 

“Baby really” I said softly. “Half of your face is gonna be bruised. She needs help” I said quietly. 

“But….she’d never forgive me” he said brokenly, averting my gaze. 

“Forgive you?! Oh bear. No, no my love. Carm, you should be thinking if you can ever forgive her. Not the other way around.” I gently rub his chest “lets go sit on the couch ok? We don’t want this rash to set and it’ll be so much worse. Cold compress should help the aching and the red and the swelling” I explained. He nodded a bit and took over holding the bag, going with me to the living room. 

“I want you on my lap” he said softly and I nodded, sitting down and wrapping my arm across his shoulders, holding the bag with my other hand against his cheek. 

“They’re fine- yeah- Winnie- how are your eyes?” Syd asked as she came in the living room talking on the phone 

“Okay Syd, thanks. It’s Carmy I’m worried about- is your ear ok bear?” I asked him 

“Still ringing” he mumbled, resting his other cheek on my chest and shutting his eyes. 

“He says his ear is ringing. I’m gonna have him checked out tomorrow” I told her and she nods

“Do you…wanna press charges?” She asked and I shrug 

“Tell them well know when they get here based on her behavior and if she’s being remorseful,” I said and she nodded, heading back to the front room. 

“Oh my god- oh god. Carmy - Carmy I’m so sorry” Natalie said, rushing in and sitting next to us, “Winnie- Winnie I’m so sorry please forgive me I promise. I told her she has to go to rehab I told her she has to go or she can’t come here anymore-“ I cut her off 

“Natalie…” I said softly. “If she doesn’t agree to be checked into an emergency rehab center- tonight? She is going to jail. Tonight. I will make sure of it. So if you don’t want her to go to jail, I would go talk her into rehab. There is nothing you have to be sorry to us for, lovey. If anything- apologize to Pete? Apologize to your daughters. But not us. Because Carmen has been saying for at least 2 months he no longer wants to interact with her, and the only time he has to is when you push him to do so. I love you, it’s why I’m telling you this. And I appreciate the roll you have in Carmys life and all you do for him- but you are enabling her. And it’s hurting the family. No matter what happens after tonight- this is the last time either of us will see her unless we’re shown definite proof she is sober.” I explained.

 Carmen just sat silently, his other cheek flush against my chest with his eyes closed, likely pretending to not be here. He didn’t have the mental strength to stick up to her like this right now, nor did he have the emotional capacity to do it gently. So I was stepping up to take the load for him. 

  “Okay…” she nodded “okay.” She repeated and went back out to the front yard where Jimmy had wrangled Donna off to wait for the cops.  “I love you” he muttered into my shirt, and he sounded utterly defeated.

Donna had chosen rehab- reluctantly. It wasn’t without a huge fight between her, Carmy, and Natalie, with many tears from each side being shed. 

When we finally got home, we wordlessly stripped out of our clothes, I started the shower for us and he got our towels for us and set out our night time lavender lotion we shared on top of the counter. I put the towels in the warmer Carmy had bought for us, since he said it ‘was too much an effort for me to put them in the dryer while we shower, and the floor out there was so cold, and he dripped all over while going to get them’ so the $200 purchase was well worth it to him.  

We had a silent shower, but it was not any less intimate then any of our other shared showers. We still washed each other, we still gently brushed eachothers wet strands of hair off of the others forehead. I had to swallow a lump in my throat each time my gaze met the raised bumps on his swollen red cheek. 

I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the next few weeks until he healed. I’d much rather her had slapped me. I could hardly imagine what he was going through inside his head right now. I had to actually remove myself and go throw up when I heard him crying, begging her to listen to Sugar and just go with her to rehab- or he would have to tell the cops to take her. 

Apparently, she went through the typical stages of grief an addict goes through when realizing they’ve been backed into a corner and are no longer able to make the choice to keep using for themself. She had started by telling them the classic

‘I know- I know I’ve done some messed up things- I know I’ve hurt you kids! But I’m your mother- you really are gonna send your mother to jail? Hmm? Carmy? My littlest bear. You’d send your mama away? I don’t believe that, Carmen. Oh Carmen Anthony. My sweetest boy. Don’t you  let your sister control the situation- you don’t want this sweetheart you don’t want to do this to your mother’ 

And when Carmen simply told her ‘no- I’m with Sug, mom you need rehab- this can’t keep goin’ ’ she flew off the handle once more, screaming at him, Sugar and the police - telling them that they were crazy- that all of them were lying about her, and that she didn’t even have a problem at all. That her ingrate horrible leech children- the ones that she had left at least, had planned for her to be taken away and locked up because they hate her- for why? She couldn’t give an answer to that in her drunken state. 

For the last part of her Oscar worthy performance - She wailed, she screamed, she cursed Carmen and told him he was a mistake- that together he and Natalie had ruined her life. That she ‘knew she should have stopped at Michael.’ That they drove their father away together, drove her to drink, and then drove their brother to do what he did. That they took everything from her. That her very pregnancy’s and births with them were pure hell- as if she was birthing demons and that she’d been miserable since the day Natalie had been born, and that it hadn’t stopped. And not without telling Carmen he made things all the more worse. 

In her vicious words, as told to me by Syd while Carmen comforted Natalie in the laundry room as she sobbed so hard she could barely breathe - the last thing Donna said after finding out Carmy would be the one paying for her treatment - while she being put in Pete’s car so he could drop her off was; 

“Your father couldn’t handle your social deficits anymore- so he left us. that’s what really happened you drove your father away from your brother and sister. You’re the reason the family is the way it is.” 

After Syd told me, I sobbed so hard I threw up again. 

The look on Carmen’s face when he came to collect me in the living room to leave after tending to Natalie and getting her to bed was nothing short of haunted. 

The drive back, likely goes without saying- was silent. 

Carmy cut off the water after he finished delicately rinsing my hair, opening the curtain and grabbing my towel first, wrapping it around my body. 

“Thanks.” I muttered, squeezing the water from my hair before drying my body off and stepping out. 

He hummed in response. The rest of the evening was that- silent. It was almost a shell shock kind of silent. I felt insane guilt, so much so that silent hot tears rolled down my cheeks as we laid in the dark, trying our best to get some sleep. 

“I- I know we said goodnight already” I sniffle, my voice hoarse and raw from crying. “I’ll shut up after this- I just had to tell you I’m sorry. I’m so so fucking sorry Bear. I’ll listen to you from here on. I’m sorry- It- it was so stupid it was my fault- you know your family better than anyone I was so dumb to push you and to ask to stay. I think back on it and I realize why you got upset when I asked on the porch- but hindsight is always 20/20. I got you hurt. I hurt you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. You know I never would intentionally hurt you…right? And it feels like- like I did this to you” I said, gently rubbing his arm. 

He sat up, flicking on the lamp on his side. “It’s my mom.” He said, wiping my tears. “Please. Baby. Please. I- I can’t be away from you tonight- but if I start gettin’ worked up again- I’m not gonna be able t’sleep here. Please. Princess,  Honey - I love you. I fucking love you. Is that what you need? I need you to be okay right now baby- at least not cryin’. I’m hangin’ on-“ he took a shaking breath “I’m hangin by a thread. I already texted Jazz” he whispered, rubbing his face over to rid any building tears. 

I swallowed thickly “I love you, Ok. Ok I’m done, I just had to tell you how sorry I am…” I said, quickly shoving all my emotions into a too small box and locking the bulging lid. He needs me right now. 

“Here, you’ll be little tonight. Turn off the light” I said, laying flat and opening my arms for him. 

He shut off the light, nuzzling his face into my neck, pulling me close as he possibly could. With a featherlight touch, I brush his hair off his forehead so it doesn’t tickle my mouth, gently dragging my nails across his scalp. “Thank you” he muttered.

He shivered a bit, his breath hitching slightly before he melted into me, sighing deeply. “I love you, so much, Carmen. Wholeheartedly. As sure as I am the sun will come up tomorrow, that’s how sure I am I love you. With every cell of my being. And I want you to know that it’s okay to be hurting. It’s okay to show you’re hurting, bear. You’re safe” I said quietly, before kissing his forehead tenderly. 

He remained silent, fingers gently moving along the skin of my back. I continued gently scratching his scalp, rubbing his back in long soothing strokes, the only sound in the room being our breathing and my noise machine. It remained that way for about 20 minutes, before he started softly shaking with silent sobs, holding me tighter and sniffling every so often. 

It went on like this for quite a while. My neck was soaking wet, so was my pillow he was nuzzled on- I didn’t care. I could flip it over. The itch of tear droplets gliding down my skin was only temporary. What he needed right now, was to be held. And to be loved. So that is what I’d give him, without any stipulation, or question, or expecting him to offer any answers. 

“You didn’t deserve it. Any of it. Remember that, ok? I know it hurts. You deserved a good mother, Carm. We both did.” I said softly, kissing the side of his head. 

He nodded gently, tightening his grip on me. “My fucking face hurts again. Like a bitch” he whimpered sadly. 

I swallowed the lump in my throat that formed at the sound of his wet tear filled voice “Give me a second Bear, I’ll be right back yeah? You’re getting too hot, It’s worse cause you're getting all warm and its makin’ the blood rush to your face and it’s throbbing. Cold will help it feel better, let me help you sweets” He wordlessly let me up and I quickly padded out to the freezer. 

Persephone meows, twirling around my legs for attention. “Hey you” I sniffled, tears brimming my eyes without an ability to stop them. I crouched down to pet her and blinked the blurry haze away, the offending tears rolling down my cheeks and dripping in 2 thick droplets onto the floor. 

“Carmy is sad right now, ok? Can you come give us your sweet Sephy snuggles and make him feel better? I know you can make him giggle silly girl” I wiped my face with his white shirt, shaking my head and trying to get ahold of myself.  

“Mama can do this, kittens. I can do it” I told myself, standing up again and momentarily resting the ice pack on each of my puffy eyes before blowing my nose with a tissue and heading back. 

“Hi sweet boy” I said softly, carefully getting back in bed and laying with him. 

“Hey” he sniffled.

I opened my arm for him “Here, we can both be cold” I joked. Resting the ice pack where he usually laid on my chest and patting it. “This will make it feel so much better, Bear” I assured him. 

“Thank you” he said, gently resting his cheek and closing his eyes. He was hiccuping and doing one of those post-sob sniffles every so often, as I resumed petting his hair. 

“Everything happens for a reason, Bear. And I’m really grateful I’m able to tell you I love you, tonight. I love you, and I’m here- I’ll always be here” I said softly and kissed his forehead with a gentle peck.  “You too…” He whispered, and that was the last thing either of us said that night.

The next morning naturally due to the stress I woke up extra early. Well- shamefully half because of the stress. Half because Sadie was coming over for coffee and we were gonna do our usual Taylor album release antics.

I grabbed my phone carefully, seeing that Sadie had sent me twenty seven texts since midnight. The last one being 

THAT CRAZY BITCH!! SHES RELEASING A PT 2. 31 FUCKIN SONGS WIN!!

I gasp quietly, ever so gently untucking Carm’s arm around me and getting up carefully. I picked up Seph who was comfy laying on his hip, squeaking in protest. 

I shush her, kissing her nose and carrying her to the kitchen. “Queen put a new album out fluffabutt!!” I whispered, taking out 2 coffee mugs. 

I grabbed my phone, FaceTiming Sadie “oh! Perfect! I’m at Starbucks what are you feeling?” She asked and I opened the cabinet, putting away the 2 glass mugs. 

“Can I have a large like- triple shot added americano? With extra oatmilk - vanilla and cold foam, iced?” I said and she laughed 

“Jesus Christ ok I’ll be ready to do CPR I guess” she joked. 

“Yup, Carm and I had a late night, shall I spare you the details?” I joked and she snorted, pulling up to the drive through. 

“Please- I don’t have to hear it twice.” She paused to put in our order “what does he like?” She asked

“Oh- black with sugar. He’s a weirdo. Thank you- I’ll cashapp you” I told her and she relayed it to the person working the line 

“Don’t worry about it- I’ll be there soon Kay?” She asked and I smiled a bit and nod 

“Sounds good. Love ya drive safe!” I told her 

“Love you!” She replied as I hung up. 

I heard stirring in the bathroom and the toilet flushed, so I headed back over to the bedroom just as Carm lays back down on his side of the bed.

“G’morning lovey” I said softly

“Hey- whats’up why’ya outta bed?” He yawned. My heart ached slightly at the sight of his puffy eyes and red nose from crying so long last night, but mostly the reddening on his cheek.

“Uh- it’s Taylor day- Sadie was coming over but we’re gonna get outta here so you don’t have to listen to us, don’worry” I sit down on my side of the bed. 

“Why?” He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist and tugging me to him. 

“We don’t wanna bug you…” I shrugged a bit. My past boyfriends would sometimes get annoyed about my passion for music- especially Taylor, and Sadie was just as loud and enthusiastic as I was- and especially due to the previous nights events. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d be feeling snappier then usua & didn’t want to deal with our squealing and excited antics. 

“Why’d you bein’ happy bug me, honey?” He said softly, resting his head on my lap and looking up at me. 

I shrugged, gently playing with his hair. “I dunno… I guess if it’s ok we’ll stay, we’ll make sure t’be quiet cause you need your sleep baby your eyes are exhausted” I said softly, gently running my thumb over the bags under his eyes with my other hand. He sighed contently nuzzling his face in my stomach. 

“Sounds good t’me…Can I ask you somethin’ and you won’t laugh?” He asked, eyes still closed. 

“I’d never laugh at you, baby. Well- except that one time you thought rupaul were 2 different people.” I teased with a giggle and he snorts a laugh 

“Stop it I’m serious. Did that all….really happen? Last night?” He asked and I gently bit my lip. 

“I love you, and your mom is getting help. If that’s what you mean” I said, trying to lead with the good and put the bad as gently as I possibly could. 

He sighed softly “mmhmm.” he muttered, remaining quiet for a little bit. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he didn’t want to speak any more about it. Considering last night was the first time i’d met his mother- he was likely feeling embarrassed knowing him (which he shouldn’t be) but nonetheless- nothing I could say would remove that shame from him. The shame of being the child of an unhealed alcoholic was a wound that no one or nothing could heal unless she got the help she needed.

“Wait don’t we gotta go get the album or whatever baby? From Target yea?” He peeked up at me. My heart swelled at the fact he remembered that I told him about the little process Sadie and I had when Taylor would release an album. We didn’t go as far as to having a huge party and staying up until midnight how we used to, but we’d both take the day off work & get starbucks before going to target and buying the Vinyl & CD & listening it in her car together while we do a mini road trip and get lunch.

When I’d told him about it- he said it was ‘really sweet’ and that it seemed like a great time, I told him it was and jokingly invited him expecting him to pass- but surprisingly he agreed, & told me he likes hanging out with Sadie and I because we were ‘funny’ which just made me fall in love with him all the more that he enjoys my best friends company how I do.

I shook my head a bit “No carmy. We can just relax- we had a hard night. It can just wait you’re more important” I said gently and he sat up a bit, furrowing his brows slightly.

“No- no, I have therapy at 2 we got time you’ve been wantin’ this baby. I wanna see too what it’s about. All the letters and stuff? Mm? It’ll be fun right?” He rubbed my arm gently. I had been telling him all about the letters Taylor had been posting on her social media in preparation for the album. I  never expected him to be actually listening since I was just rambling on and I know he doesn’t listen to music so I thought he was just letting me go on because he cares about me.

“You really…you really care?” I asked, astonished he would even humor me by tolerating my interests- let alone actually asking questions about them and wanting to learn and participate in them the same way I’d ask him about cooking. 

“What? Yes. Yes, honey, I love listenin’ t’you talk about this stuff. Y’fuckin light up when you do. How could I not like it if it makes you happy?” He asked and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes. 

I hugged him tightly, nuzzling my face in his neck and he wrapped me in a bear hug, laying back on the mattress as I curl myself around him. “Y’think I don’t realize when y’tell me things you’re lookin’ forward to babe?” He asked gently and rubs my back soothingly. 

“I love you. So much” I whispered, blinking away hot stinging tears. “Nd you give such good hugs” I giggled, smiling when I feel him chuckle against me. 

“So you’ve told me” he kissed my temple “Now tell me princess, how do we do this? You said it’s a process hm?” He asked and I smiled big, sitting back and looking at him with my arms wrapped around his neck loosely. 

I knew he wasn’t a particular fan of hers, Carmy wasn’t really a fan of anything. He barely listened to music on his own, but because I listened to music near constantly - he’d gotten well adjusted to something always playing, and it was usually her. He would make it a point to say “ I do really like this one honey what’s it about?” When he’d heard ones he liked while cooking dinner or breakfast for us and of course I’d happily oblige. 

“Uh..” my cheeks heat as he kissed down my jaw and neck “so - we usually listen to the first single separately…” my breath hitches as he stops at my collarbones, tugging the collar of his shirt down over my shoulder easily and biting down gently on the fleshy part. He hummed as if to say ‘go on’ 

“That- would um..be the first track so. Yeah and then we listen to the rest together but like slow- we relisten to the songs over and over, it’s weird” I said, losing my train of thought as he kissed the top of my breast, sucking lightly before pulling away and looking up at me.

“Put it on then mm?” he rested his chin in the hill of my breasts looking up at me with those big blue puppy eyes of his. 

“I’m gonna tell you a lot today but I love you and you’re the best” I kissed his forehead gently and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. 

He smiled a bit, blush creeping across his cheeks. “So since im the best…does that mean we can fool around before Sadie gets here?” he sucked on my neck gently and I scratch his hair gently as I one handedly checked her location. 

“She’s 7 minutes away don’t think so especially since she has a key” I connect my phone to my bluetooth speaker. 

“Mmm” he huffs brattily,  leaning into my touch and closing his eyes.

“Ok, it’s been less then 24 hours, you little pervert- this one’s called Fortnight, A Fortnight if you don’t know is a period of 2 weeks. If you can remember the name of one song from this album before we go to bed I’ll do whatever you want any position at all” I smirked and he looked up at me quickly, like a puppy being asked if they’d like to go on a walk. 

“The mating press one?” he asked and I roll my eyes playfully with a smirk.

“Yes you horny fucker. Now shhh” I kissed his lips gently as I hit play on the song so he couldn’t ask any more questions.

He hummed happily and cupped my cheek with his calloused hand, rubbing his thumb over my cheek sweetly. When he pulled away he said, “The beat is cool” which made me smile big and pull him into another sweet kiss, gently rubbing over the back of his neck.

I gently rested my head on his shoulder as I listened and he snorted a laugh at the line ‘Your wife waters flowers, I want to kill her.’ “She’s so honest about her feelings, it’s refreshing” he mutters and I giggle a bit.

“Well yeah- if I lost you and then you went off and dated someone else and got married and we ended up being neighbors? If you didn’t move i’d fantasize about killing that bitch every day” I laced our fingers together.

He chuckled and shook his head. “Marriage would be completely off the table if you left me, so it’d never happen” He said and I blushed pink, squeezing his hand gently. 

“I’d never leave you, Bear. Ever, you know that. Here let me see hows your cheek baby?” I gently turn his face and bit my lip at the fanned out pink and deep red marks as well as a blotch in the middle of his cheek. 

“Yeah I look fuckin…horrible” he cleared his throat, looking away from my gaze. I shook my head quickly

“Baby-” I swallowed thickly, trying to hold back my tears and maintain an even normal voice. He hated when I cried, it always made him so upset, so the last thing I needed was to make him hurt more then he already was right now. “It looks fine.” I lied “I meant are you hurting? Can I get you some tylenol or something? Want me to ice it for you?” I asked and barely even brushed my finger over it and he winced.

“Ah- don’t” he hissed and I frowned. 

“I’m gonna go get an ice pack love” I got up and went to the freezer. The way he wasn’t fighting on me, meant it really was hurting him- but Carmy is Carmy and wasn’t ever going to complain. But it still bothered me how he would just sit there in pain & not say anything about it so I could take care of him.

I came back to bed with the icepack and gently held it to his face and he sighed in relief. “Thank you angel” He said softly. I paused the song before it could start the next one without Sadie here and kissed his forehead. 

“Of course sweets, I’m gonna get dressed mm?” I said and he hummed in agreement, taking the icepack and holding it to himself, laying back on the bed and sighing softly to himself. 

“So do you have a special Taylor outfit too baby?” he asked as I opened my closet. I smiled a bit, looking through it.

“Kinda- I’m gonna wear my Folklore cardigan” I took it out and tossed it on the bed and he looks at it carefully, dragging his finger over the embroidered stars “Cause that’s what Sadie’s wearin’ so were gonna match” I said and speak of the devil, I heard the door open.

“In here! He’s already up, Oh my god!! ‘My husbands cheating I wanna kill him?!’ Bitch this albums gonna be insane” I called out to herand she came to the bedroom, baring a tray of coffees.

“Stop it’s been on repeat since last night for me, It’s so good!! Hey Carm” she greeted him and goes over, setting the tray on the nightstand and handing him the only hot coffee in the tray.

“Oh-Uh, thanks…” He said shyly. He still hadn’t been able to be out of his shell fully unless it was just us, but he was slowly getting there. His eyes slightly widen as I started stripping and putting on a fresh pair of panties and a bra while Sadie and I continued casually talking.

“Oh the first part about being sent away- literally us” I said causing us both to laugh as I hit play on the song again. 

“First thing I thought when I heard it, oh are we twinning?! Cuutee!!” She said excitedly with a smile.

“So…you just look at eachothers tits?” Carm asked bluntly and Sadie and I both laugh.

“No- weirdo- shes just changing i’m not staring at her. You don’t change in front of your dude friends?” she asked and he shook his head.

“You’ve never changed in front of other dudes?” she asked to which he shook his head again lightly as he held the icepack to his cheek.

“He didn’t play any sports bug” I told her as I jumped and wiggled into my jeans before buttoning them. 

“Ahhh- ok. That tracks, when did you graduate?” she asked him.

“High- High School? Er…” he asked, looking at me nervously before looking back at her. If she’d been a stranger I’d willingly save him from the discomfort of being asked about himself - but it’s healthy for him to branch out and talk to people since he refused to do it himself, and Sadie was more then safe for him to try that with.

“Yeah! I went to Gage Park and graduated in 2012 - same year as Win” she nodded 

“Oh- uh..no I um… I went to Foreman and graduated in 2011” he replied and took a sip of his coffee. “How’d you know?” he motioned to the cup and she shrugged with a smile

“If I said i’m a coffee psychic i’m not sure you’d believe me, your lovely pooh bear has your order memorized,” she said and I rolled my eyes, putting on my deodorant with a small smile.

 “It’d be more impressive if he remembered my order since his is literally just sugar” I said and Sadie grabbed my cup from the nightstand, covering the sticker.

“Boyfriend test! What’s her coffee order?” she teased him and I looked over at him raising my eyebrows playfully.

“Here’s your real test of love” I joked, slipping my cardigan on and grabbing my hairbrush, beginning to detangle my rats nest from not tying it up before I went to sleep. 

He rolled his eyes playfully. “Iced americano, with shots in it depending on how tired she is- and then add vanilla, and extra light with the oatmilk shit, and extra of the cold foam stuff on the top - and cinnamon” he said and Sadie raised her eyebrows in surprise, looking over at me.

“Trained ‘em well” she said and I laughed, pausing my hairbrushing to come give him a well deserved kiss.

“Do I love you yet?” he joked and I giggle, pinching his bicep playfully. 

“Remembered the cinnamon huh?” I kiss the tip of his nose and he pats my bum gently. 

“Yes- can we please turn on the next song now? We’ve heard it 50 times now babe” He asked and I laugh a bit. 

“More like less then 10, but ok lover because I don’t want you sick of us just yet” I hit skip to start playing the next song which was the title track as I sat at my vanity and finished brushing my hair. Sadie came up and put my coffee on the vanity for me, going over to my perfumes and smelling various ones as we listened. 

Came the part of the song where the lyrics were ‘I scratch your head, you fall asleep - like a tattooed golden retriever’ and Sadie and I stared at eachother for a moment before looking at Carmen, then back to eachother and cracking up. She had witnessed many times now when we’d have little dinner party’s with he and Syd when they insisted on cooking for us and showing us a new recipe, he’d work himself so hard that sitting on the couch after everything had been cleaned up when I was gently playing with his hair he’d fall asleep in my lap and miss them leaving. 

“Hey- What! What’s funny?” he asked, not even realizing the lyrics we were laughing at, not having been paying attention like we were and he puts his coffee down. “Tell me! Tell me what did I do?” He whined a bit with a slight pout, how he usually did when he realized he’d missed a joke and I laughed at his adorable childlike tiny tantrum.

“Nothin’ - Taylor had a little tattooed golden retriever too I guess” I shrugged and he put the icepack down, confused. 

“Hell’s that mean?” he asked and came over to me, watching as I put on my eyeliner. 

“It means you’re cute and have nice energy, baby” I said before resuming to carefully draw a sharp wing.

“Mm” he grumbled how he did when he didn’t understand me but was just deciding to let it go. “How long will this take? I wanted you t’try that sauce i’m makin’ when we get back” he kissed the top of my head lightly as I paused to shake the pen so more ink would go to the tip.

“Not long, Bear. We’ll be back with plenty of time to try your sauce, yeah? Go shower baby” I said, leaning into the mirror as I start my other eye. 

“Kay…y’look pretty” he said softly and rested his hand on the desk, leaning. I smiled a bit 

“Thank you, you’re hovering, lovey. Did you want a kiss?” I puckered my lips and his cheeks redden in response as he leans down and kisses my lips. 

“Thank you” he muttered 

“Baby you can ask me for loves when Sadies here, shes not gonna judge you” I assured him and she looks up from her phone.

“What?” she replied, clearly not having paid attention. 

“See” I assure him and rub his chest just above his belly gently. “Make sure you dont let your face hit the hot water ok lovey?” I ask and he nodded a bit. It was more than clear that last nights events were causing him to be much clingier and wanting of physical touch which was more then normal after something like that, especially for him. The last time he’d had a big blowout fight with his mom, he’d not even wanted me to go to the bathroom alone - his mind was absolutely a prison in times like this, and me being near made it easier to manage. 

“Mm i’ll be careful” he said and went to the bathroom, shutting the door since Sadie was here and preoccupying Sephy so she wouldn’t feel the need to go and scratch.

“So…How was like- after” Sadie asked when she heard the water start. I cleared my throat, nervously stretching my back and shaking my eyeliner pen some more. 

“Not much. He’s not a talker, made sure he knew I was here. He cried a little, it’s better then nothing. He’s seeing his therapist.” I told her and she nods a bit, looking at me in the mirror. 

“His sister was a mess too, like- her husband had to drop her kids off at his parents house so they wouldnt see the rest of it. She kinda bitched me out when I opened the laundry room by mistake, Syd said she didn’t mean it, though” she picked at her nails nervously.

“She didn’t, Sadie. Natalie really is one of the nicest people. His family is just…” I sighed. “She said it was like this before their brother, but- now its like…no love left. Like he was the main string that tied the family all together and now that he’s gone- it’s impossible to be together. My therapist says that a tragedy like that either breaks a family or brings them closer together- Chris broke mine too, so I don’t blame them. I wasn’t strong enough - er…my family wasn’t strong enough, either.” I explained and she shook her head.

“No way, Win. You’re so strong, and so, so smart. It wasn’t your job- it was your familys job.” She said and I sighed softly, finishing up my eyeliner. I wanted to believe her - but something in me couldn’t help but feel weak at the fact I had no family left that bothered to speak to me other then my Grandma, and I had Carmy and his family right in front of me in dire need of help and I’m not even the one hurting this time- and I still cant save him from them. 

I’m pulled from my thoughts by Carm’s phone ringing - “Hand it please” I requested since Sadie was laying on my side of the bed, she leaned over and grabbed the phone before reaching out to me and handing it over. 

Natalie's name flashed on the screen and I slid it, to answer putting the phone to my ear.  “Carmy? Mom had a seizure last night apparently- uh…they’re saying she has some…some- disease from drinking? Please- how fast can you get here? I really don’t wanna do this by myself…”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

[pinazee]

First season wrap up:

Okay, to start, i should mention my general opinion on first seasons for shows, especially cable shows, is not to read too much of it as canon. The writers, producers, actors- everyone- are all trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t, so i give them latitude, particularly when it conflicts with later seasons. That being said, i do enjoy jumping through the hoops to make it all fit haha

So heres a few leftover notes i had as i revisited the eps to rank them:

I bet part of Lassie was craving the father figure in Henry, since we find out later his own father passed away when he was quite young. I wonder if thats part of the reason why he became a cop, as they are portrayed as the protectors and in the 80’s they were mainly men (i don’t really remember if he states his reason later, i suspect he did and im just not remembering). So when Henry didn’t meet up to the expectation he had in his mind, i bet it hurt a little more as it reminded him of what he lost :/

I think the other reason Shawn plays dumb so much, besides hiding his genius so ppl believe hes psychic, or for laughs, is because its how he gets people talking. Like in Shawn vs. the red phantom, he purposely guessed the wrong room number so the boys would correct him. My apologies if someones pointed this out before, i haven’t combed through the internet for everyone’s theories 😬 i only now noticed. I’m not the quickest at picking these things up lol

If i had to guess, Shawn didn’t want to be a cop for halloween, he probably wanted to be something star wars related to go with Gus’s Lando. So i wonder at what age Shawn stopped trying to please his dad. But also, why didn’t his mother ever stand up for him?? I’ll come back to her later -_-

I somehow missed it the first time, but shawn clearly asked Gus to come to the dinner and Gus even points out that it was a big deal for henry to reach out. Soo, yeah, shawn obviously didn’t wanna be alone with his dad, and even henry seemed nervous about it as hes pretty drunk.

Shawn has a right to be afraid of pointy things, his dad hid his easter eggs under glass when he was 6! Not to mention he later gets stabbed 3 times! (Also its just a legitimate fear???)

So far the list of Shawns knowledge (things i wouldn’t expect an average person to know) includes (beyond the obvious observational skills, deductive reasoning, reading people (poker), and all things police (marksmanship, police codes, etc.)):

Incredible spatial and physical reasoning skills (knowing how much money could fit in the duffle bag, knowing to rotate the water pitcher to catch the reflection from the tv)

Kurt Vonnegut (well, I didn’t know who he was at least)

How to spell aggiornamento (and probably all words because of his photographic memory)

Handwriting expert

Casually spoke and understood german

Has every road he’s driven mapped in his brain, and likely all of Santa Barbara

Familiar with paint (enough to know to mix latex enamel for no messy drips)

Animal tracks (i went back and forth on this but ultimately decided he must have known what to look for)

And heres a list of Gus’s niche interests:

Forensics

Spelling bee

Safe cracking

Historic rifles

Comic books

Astronomy (even though he was going to the planetarium for the girl)

Law

Local tennis

Online poker

Lastly, Ive decided instead of ranking them, im putting them in tiers. I feel like too many of them are hitting at the same level and I can’t differentiate:

Sweetest, Juiciest Golden Pineapple Tier

Scary Sherry, Biancas toast (ohmygod i just got the biancas toast 🤦🏽‍♀️)

Blue Psych Logo Tier

Weekend warriors

Forget me not

From the earth to starbucks

Poker? I hardly know her! (Sorry @pineapple-psychic!)

Pepto Bismo Pink Tier

Spelling bee

Pilot

She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me oops hes dead

Who ya gonna call?

Shawn vs the red phantom

Oops Canadian Flag Tier

Cloudy with a chance of murder

9 lives

Game set muuurder

Speak now or forever hold your piece

Woman seeking dead husband, smokers okay, no pets

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/739381076510785536/so-it-seems-our-flag-means-death-has-not-been#notes

I liked OFMD and I'm sad it's not getting renewed, but I agree that the fandom was especially toxic, even by the standards of currently popular slash-heavy fandoms. I wanted to read fic after s1 ended the way it did, and I read a little bit, but along with it having all the tropes that I can't stand in a lot of what is currently big with the MSF crowd (and that I'd been happy to have a reprieve from in my current main M/M fandom), the toxicity of the online fandom discourse made me quickly realize it was one that I was going to discuss among my current-friends-from-other-fandoms who also watched it, and my sister who watches it, and pretty much ignore the rest of the Internet. It was such a perfect storm of everything awful, from people who are overly invested in it to an unhealthy degree (I think I realized I wasn't gonna be active in the larger fandom around a month or so before the s2 renewal announcement, when I saw earnest PSA tweets telling people to "stop threatening suicide in HBO's replies if they don't renew OFMD"), to bombarding and parasocial obsessions with the creators and actors, to all the classic "anti" and purity police crap that plagues anything that gets popular on here.

The fandom it reminds me the most of, honestly, is Yuri on Ice fandom at its peak in early-mid 2017. Again, a show I love, but a fandom I absolutely do not miss. In some ways they are kind of similar shows: ones with canon M/M romances where they were not billed as that, and they were hinted from early on but people didn't trust it due to years of dealing with queerbaiting, where that sort of thing slowly crept up on people and then became the defining feature of how it was discussed everywhere. I wonder if there's a particular level of insanity that that type of thing breeds in its fans - or maybe, more broadly, "canon M/M with a large female fanbase." Like, you don't see this kind of thing in canon M/M stuff that's mostly watched by queer men rather than women, but there are shades of the insanity I also remember from Glee fandom (I was more active on the F/F side of things there, which had its own unhinged drama, but the Klaine vs. anti-Klaine stuff was so explosive that it was hard not to notice it if you were anywhere in that fandom, like a mushroom cloud in the distance). But YOI and OFMD do seem very... singular in the particular kind of obsession that they generate.

And I really wish people would shape the fuck up, because if they're going to act like this over and over again, that's just going to de-incentivize showrunners to make shows like this for that audience.

Driving Con O'Neill off Twitter was one of the worst parts of it, too. There was something so refreshingly earnest about how much he embraced the fandom, even the weirdest parts - saying with regard to NSFW fanart that "art is art" and retweeting stuff like his character in a crop-top that said "babygirl." It was so nice to see an actor who didn't usually have that kind of following embrace it wholeheartedly rather than steering clear. ....And then people had to be awful and creepy and obsessive and he left Twitter. I bet he's going to be a lot more skeptical of dealing with fans in the future!

--

It's not just the canon m/m aspect: it's the wholesomeness.

Yes, yes, they're all evil pirates, I agree, but watching S1 did give me the feeling of something that was supposed to be very progressive and light-hearted in particular ways. I don't think that's bad, but it does tend to attract some very over-sensitive fans with some very rigid expectations.

It's sadly par for the course that one of the random side character actors is the fun one and people are jackasses and desperately want the leads they ship to be the fandomy ones and/or just start creeping on any actor they can get a reaction from.

[leverage-ot3]

time for the obligatory post about what episodes I want to see in the upcoming leverage season(s)

(for reference, I made this similar post in 2020 after the reboot was announced. I'm pasting some from that post bc I still want them to happen lol)

new ideas:

I mentioned a date night episode in the last post (apollo really did bless me with foresight for the date night job on that one) but for considerment: ot3 date night. possibly their first date night after they all get together. breanna and sophie know it's happening (harry is, like, peripherally aware) and some crime hijinks are going down and the three of them are frantically trying to stop bad things from happening that are going to interfere with the date. I want to see them going through it behind the metaphorical curtain. I want to see breanna fighting for her life trying to out-hack the hacker that is going to ruin their ten-part itineraried date. harry has to get in a fistfight and eliot is so proud about it when he finds out after everything is over

tree law episode. harry has been frothing at the mouth about it since it was made. his life has been moving him towards this penultimate moment. breanna thinks it's HILARIOUS and cheers him on 100% of the way. she is VERY enthusiastic about this con

I'm not going to mention certain things because I've seen jrogers posting on bluesky social and I know he might be already writing some of those plots

con that the food trucks have plot-relevance. like, one of his food truck stations is being harassed /victimized by, like, a local gang or something that takes advantage of food truck/cart workers and the team steps in. the actual (veteran) food truck workers get involved in the con. leverage international might just have gained a few retainer members

quinn should come back for an episode. I know the actor is friends with ckane. they should make it happen because it would be iconic and I said so

on a similar note, ckane is friends with jensen ackles and. guys. wouldn't it- wouldn't it be extremely funny if a flame from eliot's past named sean sylvester who is a rugged drifter with a questionable past

episode where tara or maggie (or BOTH, can you imagine how powerful that would be???) come back and there is slight flirting with sophie possibly??? that or very obvious chemistry from a past tryst. sophie has slept with both of them, I know it in my heart of hearts. bonus points if tara and maggie fall in love (I think it would be funny. maggie's taste in men is canonically atrocious, I think she deserves someone like tara at this point)

I just want a lot of side characters to come back, okay? sue me I miss them

gonna put the rest under the cut since this post has become obscenely long

not episode-specific, but I want more mentions of the korean leverage team. and all the other teams too! we know that in canon there is the south korean one, the nigerian one, and one in london (I think that's it for mentions so far, but correct me if I'm wrong!)

episodes addressing issues with american imperialism and its effects on minorities and marginalized communities, specifically within this country (there aren't a lot of episodes where they are actively out of country)

dear fucking god take a more abolitionist stance on policing I'm begging. would it KILL you to not be weird about cops? pls just punch some more cops. take down white supremacist cops, I'm sure you can scrounge something up bffrrn

women's rights episodes. I know it's kind of recent, but episodes about accessibility of stuff like birth control, abortion access, etc. y'all are capable of making excellent episodes on that I know it

more climate crisis-related episodes. god knows you're feeling it in the deep south

taking down a corrupt megachurch pastor (although lbr, there is no ethical megachurch anything and you can fight me on this)

something to do with ace rights bc I think it would be really cool to see the team advocate for that stuff, especially since breanna is canon ace

helping a polycule that is being victimized by X organization/entity (maybe a housing association or medical or something???). breanna is bombastic side-eyeing the ot3 the entire time. it is making hardison sweat. sophie thinks it's hilarious

taking down 'writers' that use ai and self-publish AND/OR people that take original/fan works off of like ao3 and wattpad and publish them for personal profits without the author's consent. breanna would have a field day with this (god herself could try to convince me that girl does not read/write fanfic and I wouldn't believe it)

episode about underfunded public schools. we saw corrupt private schools in the fairy godparents job but I want an episode that would make abbot elementary writers proud

episode addressing native/indigenous. eliot is from oklahoma, I'm sure he is well aware of the health/job/economic/etc disparities on reservations. I will email jrogers about it myself if I have to- it anyone can get people going about native rights through a tv show it would be leverage.

I sent an ask to wil wheaton once asking if he was open to returning to leverage and I think he said he would be down for it. but chaos either has to be a reluctant ally to leverage international and is being handled by quinn as a hitter OR he is just. in jail. bc he sucks.

bpas and/or pfas episode. breanna has mentioned microplastics before but I want more

the team tears the shit out of conversion therapy camp owners and plants the seeds for legislation that will punish parents that try to send their kids to those hellscapes

while we're at it, I'd love to see an ep where they tackle the trans bathroom issue. god knows the news doesn't talk about it nearly enough

something to do with foster care. they end up starting some sort of foster care network that past clients/allies can take part in. maybe a mentorship program for kids that want to do what they do one day (they are very reluctant to encourage kids to participate in crime BUT if that is the avenue that they are going to inevitably go towards, they guide them in the right direction). nana makes an appearance (*insert 'everybody liked that' meme*)

prison industrial complex episode. I KNOW we had the jailhouse job BUT we really need this in our year of 2024

another episode on corrupt influencers. maybe influencer parents? dear god pls take them down a notch

ep where there is an underlying message that tells you how to avoid becoming victim to scams or something, or like is a tutorial for how to identify scams you might fall victim to (sorry, I just have to say this after two separate people tried to pig butcher me in less than two (2) weeks))

not to say I want them to do an ep calling out cop city, but it would feel really good to watch the leverage team rip that concept to SHREDS

the minimum wage job. need I say more? we deserve the catharsis

pls go after goodwill execs, esp the ones in the pnw that have their sector as for-profit and have become millionaires+ because of it while paying their staff (especially disabled staff) fucking pennies

while we're on the topic, pls call out salvation army (the corporation)

I can probably go on for like five hours so I'll stop here

ep that we get to see harry and his daughter bond :)

job where they get to lower the price of insulin (and other drugs)

actually, you know what? an episode where the crew annihilates big pharma and terrible insurance companies

I think that breanna should be able to go off about mass/over consumption as a treat. I 100% believe she has Thoughts about it. like, she will absolutely call out the corporations that are responsible for these trends, but also she should be allowed to mention our tendency for overconsumption as a society. obviously there are a few corporations that are doing most of the world's pollution/ecological damage, but we should be doing our part too and I KNOW it would be in-character for her to go off on it

I bet she has a LOT to say about influencers, tbh. obviously not all influencers are bad, but there are sooooo many problematic ones and problems within the influencer industry

sizing discrimination in the modeling/clothing industry. let eliot talk about how there are no perfect bodies. also while I'm on the subject, can we PLS have more body-diverse background actors on the show? I know this is nitpicky but I'd really love to see some more people that look like me, even if they are just in the background

a thinly veiled writers' rights episode (I'm looking at you media execs and the stupid amount of time it took for you to comply to the WGA demands)

something to do with media companies making entire movies/tv shows and then fucking cancelling them/not releasing them and using them as tax write-offs. every time it happens it baffles me. that is cartoonishly stupid villain shit. I can't imagine lovingly working on a project for a year plus and then the company just going, nah, we aren't going to release it because you suck and it's a good business move

ai art and ai in general. please. let it BURN

okay now I'm done

ideas from the previous post that I still want:

comicon job. I said it before and I will say it again- we deserve it!!! come on, it's the age of the geek after all!!! (in the last post I also said a ren faire ep, but I will let the card game job count for that)

summer camp ep? I saw a tumblr fic about it and I think it could be cute. it could kinda be like the fairy godparents job- eliot in charge of some type of sports (archery, fencing, etc), hardison would be in charge of arts and crafts (this boy might be a genius with tech and in general tbh, but the show did such a good job of showing that he’s also very talented with the arts- sculpting the statue for the miracle job, forging the old diary in the king george job, etc), parker would LOVE to be in charge of a high ropes course. breanna would totally be down for some sort of nerdy kid robotics or simple, traditional camp games (can't go wrong with the classics. everyone loves making bracelets!) I feel like it's too stereotypical to have sophie have kids put on a play but we all know that's exactly what she would do. idk for harry? I think he has the same traditional camp activities vibe as breanna. he's in it for the nostalgia. OR something to do with videogames

please, please, please, please, please make an episode where they take down a cult, im begging. that would be such a good episode. definitely a mindfuck episode like the experimental job (4x11). I’ve seen a few posts about a job dealing with a cult (here’s one) and I think it would be really interesting 

MORE STERLING being DONE with leverage shenanigans!!! give me feral!sterling like in the frame-up job (5x10)!!! give me sterling that protests every step of the way but conveniently looks away and “whoops, the team just disappeared, I have no idea how that happened!!! diddly dang darn it, they got away again!!! sorry guys!!!” bonus points if mcsweeten is there too and also participates in intervening hijinks

the team takes down a circus that is still using and abusing wild animals!!! because first I’d LOVE to see acrobat!parker swinging up in the air like a pro and being in her element, but also because those places are the fucking worst and need to Go Down. give me eliot having to pose as an animal trainer with deep sympathy for the animals being abused, quietly talking soothing words to them when he thinks no one is around (correction: hardison is, in fact, around, and filming his boyfriend’s softness to save for later). give me charismatic hardison playing the role of ringmaster, running and flaunting about and being passive-aggressive to the circus master. give me eliot freeing the animals from their chains when they are finally able to shut the place down and relocate the animals to sanctuaries (his hands shaking just a little as twists the key in the lock, because he too was once an abused, caged animal in his own right and he knows how liberating it is to finally be free). 

[siancore]

One World, One People

Samtember Day 5 - Canon Divergence

@samsseptember

Everything after Sam's feet touched the asphalt was a blur. Sharon being hit. Karli’s young life being taken from her. The sounds of sirens and the crowds that had gathered. The flashing lights and the people rushing toward him looking for answers.

Who had made him Captain America? Was the threat over? Gratitude for saving the hostages. For doing his part for dealing with so-called terrorists. He paid no mind to the people looking for answers; he needed some answers of his own.  

“Are you still going forward with resetting the borders?” asked Sam; his voice came out tired and sad.  

All he heard was that the ‘terrorists’ only set their efforts back marginally. Soon, the haze lifted, and righteous indignation replaced it.  

“You have to stop calling them terrorists,” said Sam.  

“What else would you have us call them?”  

“Your peacekeeping troops, carrying weapons, are forcing millions of people into settlements around the world, right? What d’you think those people are gonna call you?”  

No one answered, so Sam continued speaking to the two senators.  

“These labels: Terrorist; refugee; thug. They’re often used to get around the question: Why?”  

“Those settlements that happened five years ago,” one of the senators spoke up. “Do you think it is fair for governments to have to support them?”  

“Yes,” said Sam, firm and strong and resolute.  

“And the people who reappeared, only to find someone else living in their family home, they just end up homeless?”  

Sam sighed as the senator continued.  

“Look I get it, but you have no idea how complicated this situation is,” he said before walking away.  

“You know what?” Sam questioned, causing the other man to stop. “You’re right. And that’s a good thing.”  

He turned to face Sam as the police held journalists back.  

“We finally have a common struggle now. Think about that. For once, all the people who’ve been begging, and I mean literally begging for you to feel how hard any given day is – now you know.”  

Bucky’s heart swelled at Sam’s words. All of Sam’s compassion, empathy, and love for his fellow man poured out of him then.  

“How did it feel to be helpless? If you could remember what it felt like to be helpless, and face a force so powerful it could erase half the planet, you would know that you’re about to have the exact same impact. This isn’t about easy decisions, Senator.”  

“You just don’t understand,” the senator replied, almost stuttering.  

Sam scoffed and said, “I’m a gay Black man carrying the stars and stripes. What don’t I understand about making tough decisions? About decisions being made about me and my life. Every time I pick this thing up, I know there are millions of people out there who are gonna hate me for it. Even now, here, I feel it: The stares. The judgment. And there’s nothin’ I can do to change it. Yet, I’m still here. No super serum. No blond hair or blue eyes. The only power I have is that I believe we can do better. We can’t demand that people step up if we don’t meet them halfway. You control the banks. Shit, you can move borders. You can knock down a forest with an email; you can feed a million people with a phone call. But the question is: Who’s in the room with you when you’re makin’ those decisions, hmm? Is it the people you’re gonna impact? Or is it just more people like you?”  

The rest of the evening went by in a flash. Sam helped with clean-up while Bucky made sure Sharon got the care that she needed. The media was buzzing with reports of what had transpired. A terrorist attack. A new Cap. Sam Wilson coming out to the world. Sam Wilson supporting terrorists. Gossip around whether or not Captain America and the former Winter Soldier were more than just partners. It was a lot.  

By the time Sam was ready to lay his head down, it was late, or early, depending on how one looked at it. Rhodey had already contacted him and wanted to meet. Sam had told him he would speak to him later in the day. Sarah was concerned for her brother’s welfare, and he assured her he was fine. Sam’s phone buzzed one more time. It was Bucky.  

“Where are you?” he asked, his voice laced with equal parts worry and exhaustion. 

“Sitting on the roof of a building,” said Sam, sounding just as tired as Bucky. “Is Sharon okay?” 

“She’s fine. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah.” 

“What do you need?” asked Bucky.  

“A shower and a bed wouldn’t be so bad,” Sam replied with a little laugh.  

“I’m comin’ to get you,” said Bucky. “You can come back to my place.” 

“Buck, you don’t need to offer your space. I can get a hotel.” 

“Don’t fight me on this, Sam,” said a resolute Bucky. “You’re comin’ with me for a shower and to get some sleep. Away from all the cameras and questions. Come with me. Where it’s quiet and safe. Let me take care of you. I wanna take care of you.” 

“Okay,” said Sam with a smile. “Okay.”