#Who knows. we'll see what comes first I guess lol
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okay update I’ve been Instagram stalking and I think I can put pieces together. This is such a long deep dive so bear with me.
January: "I have two that I've written the first draft of and will go into revision soon. I have one that I'm writing now and I'm about halfway through. I have another that I'm planning." (source)
I will label these four books, in order, Mystery Book, Big Book, Paper Model Book, and Little Graceling Book. We'll follow them over the course of the year, and you'll see where the names come from.
The one that she was writing at the time, we're going to call Paper Model Book, because she said this about it: "My WIP includes a character who’s building a paper model of a castle and does other paper art too. Butterflies and moths are also an important part of the book." (source)
This draft was started many months earlier, pre-brain surgery, and went on pause for obvious reasons. From earlier notes, it appears the main character may have an M name. (source) I believe the draft was started all the way back in September 2023, and just took a while due to the aforementioned brain surgery, as well as copyediting for There Is a Door in this Darkness. (source)
She continued working on Paper Model Book for several months. She finished and submitted the manuscript around late April/early May. Several of the notebooks for this book have fox stickers on them, and she also had fox socks and fox art on her desk, which could mean there are foxes in it, but could also mean that she was just in a fox mood.
May: "With this draft done, I now have three entire books in revision, plus There Is a Door in This Darkness releasing on June 11." (source)
In May, she was on a bit of a vacation, but mentioned at one point that she was "listening to a lot of math podcasts and books to help me with a character I’m brainstorming." (source) Guessing this was for Little Graceling Book, the book she started writing in September; it's the only one she would have been planning/brainstorming for.
In June, she began revising a 430-page book. She described this revision as "so complicated" and the novel as "pretty complex". (source) The first draft of that book was written, in part, summer 2023. (source) This should be the one we have called Big Book. She continued revising Big Book for several months, while also doing release stuff for There Is A Door in this Darkness.
Peeks from that revision:
(source 1, source 2)
In September, she started plotting a new book, which we will call Little Graceling Book. Two posts about it have been tagged #gracelingrealm, implying that it's the next Graceling book.
Words I have caught in her notes for this book include: “fox” “castle” “heartless world” “the reader has guessed what A is up to and so has O; move on to other mysteries” (who’s A?? could it be adventure the fox??). Stickers include at least two foxes and a very Graceling-feeling castle.
On November 10, she mentioned writing “a bunch of pages, in a book about a world where things can change for the better (as they can in our world).” <3 (source)
A few days ago (December 21), she posted that she will be setting aside the partial first draft of Little Graceling Book to return to Big Book, her next book to come out. This book has gone through two drafts, and she’s about to get editorial letters back that will allow her to start on the third draft. There appears to be a grandfather clock and a horse sticker on the cover of its notebook, but we don't know anything else about it as far as I can tell. (source)
She also shared that two other books (Mystery Book and Paper Model Book, as far as I can tell) are in progress and hanging out on a shelf. They appear to be printouts with sticky notes in them, which indicates that they're further along in the revision process.
So. That's what I have. Hopefully this is of interest to someone besides me that will justify the several hours I spent back-scrolling Kristin Cashore's Instagram lol
hi excuse me kristin cashore is working on FOUR books rn ??
what do we think they are 👀
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Originally posted July 15 on Twitter/X.
A rough redraw of that one Beastars pose
#Chimera Scribble#Slayer Guilty Gear#Sharon Guilty Gear#Guilty Gear#Sketch#Digital Art#2024#While I still do kinda think this posing is maybe a tad out of character#I do love this pose and my cheesy romance tropes so I might actually give this a redraw one day#Or I guess if maybe enough people want me to#Who knows. we'll see what comes first I guess lol
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I said "I love you."
you say nothing back
Falling in love with Gojo Satoru was as easy as reading the pages of your favorite book, not until you reached the very end of the chapter and the author just loves to twist the story.
contents: it was all a bet trope, angst lol, fluff, hurt!gojo, groveling, satoru gojo x fem!reader, college AU, playboy!gojo, comfort
credits to @/toOOfu for the art above!! ^^
***
September 1, 2023
"She looks like an easy target," Satoru chuckled as he watched you walk over to your friend, Utahime Iori, in the school cafeteria. It was one of those days when he would joke with Suguru and Shoko, with Suguru always making sure Satoru gets riled up by his joke.
Suguru simply told Satoru that girls may swoon over him, but he's sure that they're some others who probably would find him annoying, someone like you. That statement made Satoru cocky, and as prideful as he was, he made it into a bet that he'll make sure to make you fall in love with him by the end of December, enough time to swoon you over.
"We'll see about that, Satoru." Suguru smirked. "The end of December, you say?"
The latter nodded his head, a wide and annoying grin on his face. "Watch and you'll see, Suguru."
The catch? Nothing, just plain fun and feeding his ego.
"Satoru!" Oh, and here comes one of his girls. His flings.
September 2, 2023
Satoru wastes no time. The next day after making their bet, he quickly made advances towards you. After seeing you in the lockers first thing in the morning, he walked over and leaned to the locker right next to yours. And when you turned, you found him there with a smirk on his face.
"Hey, darling..." He said, almost seductively, if not only for the furrowed eyebrows in your face.
"Excuse me, who are you?" Your soft voice echoed in his head.
Now that hurts his ego. Satoru Gojo. Gojo Satoru. The handsome Satoru. The greatest. The flirt. The smartest. The playboy. The Gojo Satoru. The damn Gojo Satoru who you didn't even know who.
His mind was floating elsewhere after hearing your question. As unbelievable as it may sound, you were, unfortunately, serious about not knowing him. And guessing by the look in your face, he definitely was not making a good first impression.
First attempt: Failed.
But he's not the Gojo Satoru for nothing. No, he won't give up just yet.
So he straightened his composure, faking a cough as he flashes his smile that makes all his girls go crazy, and lowers his head to show you his ocean blue eyes underneath his glasses.
He definitely made sure you won't forget his name as he asks forces you to walk you into class, blabbering nonsense by your side.
You were just too nice to tell him to go away.
September 16, 2023
Gojo Satoru was persistent. Walking you to class, even waiting for you outside the door when he was vacant, disturbing your quiet study session at the library, sitting with you at the cafeteria table when Shoko or Suguru was not there. You definitely didn't forget his name this time as he became the annoying Gojo Satoru who's becoming a nuisance to your somewhat quiet life turned into a roller coaster.
During those days, Gojo found out things about you. You were studying at the architecture department, you like arts and coffees as for what he noticed when you were at the library, you were at the top of your class, and you have a few admirers that you turned down in a nice way possible, just like how you were turning him down too.
He also took note of the fact that you were introverted, and a little shy with people so he might just go easy on you. You had a soft voice, however, you weren't as innocent as you came out to be. You are honest with your words, so when you say you're not interested in him, then you're truly not.
You weren't an easy target after all. But Gojo Satoru loved the thrill, you challenged him so much that he wasn't about to give up now that you intrigued him. He wanted to prove to himself that he can get anyone, he can have whatever he wants, and he definitely will.
"It's raining, it won't hurt to get in my car, princess." He said nearly in your ears. You pushed his face away with a look of disgust.
"No way, Gojo. You probably took so many girls in there already, and how can I be so sure you won't do anything bad?" You frowned at him, shoving his chest away as you stand outside the doors of your building, waiting for the rain to stop. You were angry, but damn you can't even raise your voice at him.
Soft. Too damn soft. Can he break you?
Through the days that he came by to woo you, it didn't matter anymore what words came out of your mouth. People may see you as the shy type of girl, but you're not afraid to voice out your opinion, and your somewhat intimidating face speaks a lot for you.
"Jealous?" He laughed when you glared at him. "Princess, I can assure you I haven't taken anyone inside my car. Plus, I can even buy a new one exclusively just for you if it bothers you too much." He grinned, annoyingly.
You gave him a moment of silence, and that sparked a new hope in Satoru's ego that you might be considering his offer now.
"Well... no."
Oh.
But he could only smirk, assuming you were only playing hard to get. Girls always liked when boys chase after them, no?
"I'll walk you home then."
You shot daggers at his back as he ran to his car, and came back with an umbrella. His shirt got a bit soaked, hair a little wet after running to the car, but damn, he still got that annoying smirk on his face.
You sighed, how annoying.
September 29, 2023
He never gave up despite how you rejected him multiple times. He stuck by your side even though you don't want him to, and he was somehow getting into your system. He carries your bag when he walks you to class, or just about anywhere, and you didn't even give your bag to him—he practically forced you. He'd buy you coffee in the morning, making sure he gets the right order, and when you give money to pay, he'd refuse and shove the money back in your wallet. Sometimes, he'd give you sweets even if you don't ask him to, giving you the flavors that he likes the most.
Funny how you can't even get him to stop whatever he's trying to do. No man has ever pursued you like he does.
"Gojo–"
"That's Satoru for you, love." He cut you off with a playful smile. "Haven't I told you already?"
"Gojo." You repeated seriously. His eyes glinted with interest as he waited for your words. "Get lost, please."
How nice of you to say please.
He laughs. He had the audacity to laugh. "You know, you're really cute."
"Look," you sighed tiredly. "Whatever this is you're trying to do, stop. I'm not interested. If you want to get into my pants like you did to those other girls, that's not going to happen."
With one look at him, you snatched your bag from him and walked away with your heart beating loudly. Your face was heating up after saying each word, and never in your life have you turned someone down so harshly.
Satoru watched as you walked away. Sure, that hurt his pride, but he can't let his ego step on so easily.
He left you alone during the day, just giving you the space since he seemed to have pushed your buttons a bit. Plus, he was busy with basketball practice since his coach was already nagging him for not attending their training.
However, your assumptions were only proved to be true when you caught him with a girl at the parking lot the same day. A cheerleader, stroking his chest as if she was comforting him as her other hands wiped his sweat with a towel. You looked at his physique, Satoru Gojo was in his basketball uniform, showing a lot of his biceps. You watched as his adam's apple protruding as he drank his water.
You felt annoyed. Your eyes turning red when you see just how he didn't mind the cheerleader. Of course, Gojo Satoru was a playboy.
Who cares? You definitely didn't.
That's what you thought.
You walked in the opposite direction, just so you wouldn't cross paths. But of course, Gojo Satoru will always see you. After all, he was at the parking lot waiting just for you, and only you.
"Wait up!" You heard his voice from behind, and you didn't even look back, thinking he wasn't calling out for you. You wished he was calling for you.
Satoru grabbed your wrist, and forced you to look at him. "Hey!"
Your brows furrowed, trying to yank your wrist away at his strong hold. "What do you want?"
"Woah... slow down." He said as he grasped your elbows with both hands. His eyes searched yours, his piercing blue eyes staring at the raging fire burning in your gaze. "What's wrong?"
You swear, your brows almost met each other at him. But you didn't want to burst. At least, not in front of him. "Go back to your cheerleader, Gojo." You frowned at him.
He observed you for a minute, then a small smile crept on his lips. Realizing just how much he's finally having an effect on you.
"Sorry," he chuckled.
"What?!" You almost shout at him in annoyance.
"I said, I'm sorry, princess." He repeated. "I didn't think of you as the jealous type. Plus, she was just helping me."
"Help you what? Wipe off your sweat? Since you don't have the hands to do it for yourself?" You glared at his annoying handsome face. "You playboy. I knew you were just trying to play with me." You said, pushing his chest with your pointer finger.
He pursed his lips as he caught your wrist, stopping you. "Now, now, don't think like that." He chuckled. "I'm sorry, I'll be sure to push those girls away so you won't be mad at me anymore."
And damn, he was true to his words. He didn't know what got into him, but he definitely started rejecting every girl that came his way. He didn't even feel sorry, and he even stopped calling those poor girls with sweet endearments as he rejected them.
Gojo Satoru was slowly starting to feel something for you. But he doesn't even know it just yet.
In a span of a month, he successfully got into your system.
October 6, 2023
"How's the deal going?" Suguru asked as they walked together to their class.
"Poor girl, I heard from people that she's nice." Shoko added, shaking her head at them. "Though people may see her as intimidating, they said she's really kind. A soft voice, and all that. Shouldn't you stop, Satoru?"
"Nah, I think I'm enjoying this." Satoru shrugged.
Of course, Satoru definitely felt something tugging at his heart. He definitely liked having you around, since you were giving just the right thrill to rile him up, he loved every rejection, and every attention you gave him. But somehow, he was feeling a little guilty. But he's too prideful to even admit that.
"Plus, she's friends with Utahime. That girl hates you a lot, Satoru." Shoko said. "You wouldn't want to hurt her best friend."
October 13, 2023
"Didn't I tell you to call me Satoru?" He raised his eyebrows at you as he accompanied you in the library, placing a coffee and a small cookie right next to your books.
"We're not friends, Gojo."
"Right, since you're going to be my girlfriend."
You shot him a look, sighing as you turned the pages of your book. "What do you want this time?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to spend time with my favorite person." He smiled, opening his books too. "I'll study with you. I promise, I'll be quiet."
You didn't respond to that, just expecting him to keep his words. And when he did stay silent like he promised, you were already thanking god for having to hear your prayers.
As the hours went by, you slowly fell asleep, your head resting in your arms as your books laid discarded. Satoru looked at you, a small smile crept on his face as he gently stroked your hair.
He stood up, organizing your books in a pile, taking your pencil case as he shoved your pens in them and putting it inside your bag, he got the empty cup of coffee that he got for you and threw it in the trash can, and he did it all so as to not wake you. He waited for a few hours, tenderly watching you doze off, before he tapped your shoulders to wake you up so he could take you home.
October 18, 2023
Maybe Satoru felt guilty now.
He twists and turns in his bed, thinking of you and how you put up with him everyday. And everything you do, never escape in his eyes as he finds himself memorizing you.
You'd smile at him nicely, despite how your eyes show how annoyed you were.
Your feet would tap the floor when you get too nervous.
You don't even know but you unconsciously hold a piece of fabric in his shirt when it gets too crowded, hiding behind him when there's a lot of people.
He notices how your hands move gracefully as you trace your art project, eyes furrowed and focus on getting your work done.
Truthfully, he adores your smiles. The way your eyes would squint every time your lips stretch in delight. He held your hands once at his attempt of flirting, and it was so soft that he couldn't even get himself to let go. He loved playing with your soft, silky hair whenever you fell asleep in the library, staying by your side until you woke up. He also loved your silence, the comforting atmosphere that you give off seems to calm something in his heart. When he manages to get a proper conversation with you, he just wants to melt every time he hears your sooting voice.
And nervously, he thinks he's starting to like you.
October 23, 2023
Slowly, Satoru became a part of your day. Somehow, he managed to finally be friends with you, and still, you refused to call him Satoru, indicating that you still cannot allow yourself to be casual with him.
That's fine. He can settle for whatever you can give him. For now.
"Baby, there's a basketball game coming up this Friday..." Satoru trailed off. You were almost going to point out his endearment, but then again, it's Satoru, and you were slowly getting used to him.
"What?" You asked. "So?"
"I bought you tickets so you can watch. It's two tickets, so you can bring your friend."
He didn't even ask if you wanted to, but then again, for a hundredth time, it's Satoru. He wanted you to watch his game, nonetheless.
And you did. Your seat being close to their benches so he can see you easily.
October 27, 2023
"Seriously? I'm about to watch our school's basketball game, because Gojo Satoru invited you?" Utahime said annoyed as you both sat at your assigned seats.
"Well... yes..." You said shyly, looking around at the amount of people in the stadium. "You know, we've been hanging out a lot–"
"I told you, he's bad news." Utahime cut you off. "How am I supposed to get that in your head?"
"I know, I know... But he's actually been nice. Haven't you notice?"
Utahime thought for a moment. Of course, she noticed some changes. Gojo Satoru seemed to be spending his time with you lately. He didn't even care about his ex flings, or his admirers, he was solely focused on you. Usually, Gojo would take a girl wrapped around his fingers in a day, and then disposing them just as quick after he got what he wanted. He looks like he's not like that to you, Utahime thought. Though, she hated his guts, Utahime knew you were enjoying having him around.
She sighed, "Just... don't get hurt, okay?"
You chuckled at her. "Why would I?"
After the game ended, with your school cheering loudly at winning, Utahime said she had to go home quickly, so you were left alone.
You didn't know what to do, or where to go. Satoru was busy with his teammates, talking and congratulating each other. Satoru wanted to go to you quickly, but his fans surrounded him, stopping him from going your way as they celebrated their victory.
Satoru knew too well that you didn't like the crowd, so he was trying hard to escape from it.
Your eyes watched as his fans congratulated him, asking for pictures, and even giving him gifts. You sighed, texting him that you'll be going home since he wasn't about to finish anytime soon.
You understood that he was famous, and all that. He's Satoru Gojo, after all. And it's another part of him that you're still not used to.
A part of you was proud of him. And you couldn't possibly be selfish about him, especially if you only recently got to know him.
Satoru hurriedly ran away from the crowd, excusing himself politely as he saw you walking through the exit doors. He got his bag, and ran to catch up to you.
Thanks to his long legs, and his intense basketball training, he was able to catch up to you quickly. "Hey!" He called.
You turned as you heard his voice, seeing his disheveled hair and sweaty forehead as he ran to you. "Gojo, hey, I texted you and–"
"Hey..." He greeted, panting heavily.
You pursed your lips, getting a handkerchief from your pocket so you can wipe the sweat off his face. "Why did you leave them? Everyone was celebrating with you."
"You weren't there." He frowned. "What's the point of it..."
Satoru was tired after the game, but he was regaining his strength once he saw you.
"Nonsense." You chuckled, in which he frowned even more.
"I'll take you home." He said as he holds your hand to his, leading you to his car. "I invited you anyway, it's my responsibility to take care of you."
You nodded, getting in his car since you had been tired from all the crowd.
When he reached your home, he quickly got off so he could open the door for you.
Oh, the little things that he does.
You both stand outside of your house awkwardly, both trying to find the right words to say. You looked away, tapping your feet nervously as Satoru watches you.
"Congratulations... Satoru."
Satoru... Satoru... Satoru... His name never felt so good until you said it. It was like an achievement, a big prize that he won in his life. And his heart was almost about to explode when you finally called him by his name.
Satoru almost stuttered thanks to you. Slowly, he was approaching you until your back leaned in his car.
He closed his eyes, as his head fell on your shoulders. "Say that again... please?"
"Huh?" You were confused, your face blushing at the proximity. "Congratulations?"
"No... say my name... please, baby?"
His voice was so soft, desperately asking you to say the words he longed to hear from you. Satoru felt weak in his knees.
He looked up at you finally, his eyes searching your soul. Despite the darkness of the night, his eyes were glowing brighter than the moon.
"Satoru?"
"Fuck..."
Satoru Gojo knew he's in danger.
The moment he locked eyes with your eyes, looking at them until it darted on your lips. Before he knew it, he was leaning down for a kiss.
And fuck it, just how dangerous it was that you weren't even pulling away.
October 28, 2023
You were confused when you saw Satoru at your front door the next morning, his hands holding a bouquet of flowers. He looked absolutely handsome in his shirt, his sleeves tucked until his elbow.
You blush when you remember what happened last night. "Satoru, what are you doing here? It's a Saturday."
"I know," he said, handing you the bouquet of tulips. "I missed you."
"H-huh?"
"Will you allow me to take you out on a date?"
His heart was at bliss when you said yes to him. It was a simple coffee shop date, but you felt so happy as he made sure you were also comfortable and having fun. Having casual talks with you, but this time, there was a lying affection between you two.
And when he took you home, he slowly sealed your lips in a kiss. Exploring your mouth gently, smiling as he pulled away.
October 30, 2023
Satoru finally told Suguru he wants to stop whatever game they started with each other.
"Just about time you do."
Satoru swears he felt his ears heat up when Suguru said those words with a teasing grin. Shoko was laughing at his flushed state, clapping her hands in delight.
"Ah! I knew it!" She exclaimed. "Knew you were going to fall on your own trap. Well, that's actually good."
Satoru blushed even more. Finally, he can admit that he was starting to like you. Love you even.
In all honesty, he felt like he couldn't even live without you in his life. He felt like every moment with you was precious, and he was desperate to make you his, seriously this time.
All those times that he accompanied you to class, were influenced by his own choice. He could've just left you alone some days, but he didn't even know he was doing all those things unintentionally. Buying you snacks, and your coffee, he could've easily stopped that after every rejection, but he chose not to.
Gojo Satoru wanted to always be a part of your day. He was already a part of your present, and he wants to be there in your past, and still be in your future.
November 3, 2023
Satoru, as usual, was eating lunch with you in the cafeteria. Everyone in the school knew by now that he was not entertaining anyone anymore, just you. And he made it that obvious, looking at you so lovingly everyone who passed by would've looked at you in envy.
"Why aren't you with Shoko and Suguru?" You asked as you take a sip of your coffee. You looked over to the table where his friends sat, both busy at whatever conversation they had.
"They don't mind." Satoru replied, scooting closer in your seat. "You should get used to it by now."
"To what?"
"Sitting with you during lunch." He smiled when you looked away. "I like being with you."
Your mind wandered off somewhere when he said that. Does he like you or does he like the company that you give?
November 10, 2023
Satoru was frowning at you when he saw you sitting with another guy in the library. At your usual spot, in his seat, in front of you. He was annoyed that someone even had the guts to make a move to you.
Slowly, with heavy steps, he approached your table, sitting at the vacant chair next to you. His hands wrapped itself between your waist, as his jealousy pulled him to kiss your cheek in front of your innocent classmate.
"Baby..." He whispered closely in your ear. "I was looking for you."
He looked in front to shoot daggers at the guy you were with. The innocent stranger blushed as he looked away, "Uh... I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I'll message you if I need help."
The guy hurried on his feet, stumbling as he exited the library. Satoru's arms tighten on your waist and you looked at his angry face.
"What's wrong with you?"
"Who is he and why is he going to message you?" A frown was evident in his face, and he was getting a little too close. You had never seen him this intimidated.
"That's my partner for a group project, idiot." You muttered the last word. "You scared him off."
Satoru pulled you close, nuzzling his nose against your temple. "It's annoying..."
"What's annoying?"
Satoru cursed under his breath, "Come on, I'll take you out to dinner."
But while he was driving, it was painfully silent. You're not used to this kind of mood, he was always playful and teasing, but now, he was glaring ahead at the car in front of him, as if the car did something wrong.
His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, and for some reason, you find yourself putting your hands above his, running circles on his tensed ones.
His hold loosened up a bit, and he sighed heavily.
"Tell me, what's wrong, Satoru."
Satoru pulled over to the side, facing you with a nervous face. "I'm sorry..."
"For what?"
"I was... jealous." He answered truthfully. He frowned, not liking the feeling twisting in his stomach. "I've never felt this before, baby. I want to keep you to myself, to always have you by my side and not anyone else, and it's so selfish that I hate myself for it. You're driving me crazy, and fuck it, I love you. I love you for making me like this. You don't understand... I'm head over heels–"
You interrupted him with a kiss. Satoru didn't even realize that he was already confessing, not until he felt your mouth against his.
It felt like there were fireworks exploding in your surroundings. Feels like he was finally breathing for the first time ever. Like the summer melting his winter.
"I love you too, Satoru."
He felt like dying right then and there, cupping your cheeks in a hungry kiss. Pulling you to his lap as you both make out in his car.
"Can I be your boyfriend?"
How can he be so cute, muttering those words weakly underneath you?
His question was not even a 'will you be my girlfriend' but a 'can i be your boyfriend?'
It was so cute. He was asking you your permission, he was asking to be yours.
He was... surrendering his heart to you.
And who were you to deny him?
November 20, 2023
You found out Gojo Satoru is a clingy man. It was obvious, the first time that he never left you alone, but this time, it only got worse, in a good way though.
He holds your hand when you're together, not even caring when girls would look at the two of you jealously. He doesn't care if a teacher sees him snuggling his face against your neck, he just wants to be that close to you. He will ask for a cuddle every time you two spend your time in your house. He would dart his tongue out teasingly at Shoko and Suguru when all of you sat at the same table, and he was hugging your waist and leaning his head on your shoulder. And when you two are in a private space, especially his car, he'd pull you in his lap for a long make out session.
You weren't even complaining, since you loved him just as much.
"Utahime!" You smiled when you saw your best friend in the cafeteria. "Haven't seen you in a while."
Utahime gave out a tired sigh. "I know, the professor is always giving out so many tasks, I might pass out anytime soon." She chuckled. "How are you? You and Gojo? He's like a lovesick puppy always sticking by your tail."
You chuckled. "That's so exaggerated, Utahime... But I'm really really happy."
Utahime was glad to hear her only best friend was this happy. She was thanking god that Gojo finally decided to be serious over a girl for once, and if he ever just breaks your heart, she'd be so sure to be the first to kick his ass.
December 4, 2023
"You're still with her?" Gojo's ex flings, Jia, asked him during his basketball training. Jia was the cheerleader girl that you saw him with in the parking lot, the fling that Satoru had for a month, longer than usual. He already rejected her, but she's still desperately trying to get with him.
"Of course, I am." He muttered, annoyingly. He snatched the towel that she was holding, her attempt to help him wipe his sweat. "Jia, I already told you–"
"Isn't she just a bet?"
Satoru froze, as if a bucket of ice was dropped all over his body. Her voice rang in his head, and he blinked furiously a few times.
"She's not–"
"But I heard you and Geto." Jia smirked, knowing she was just pushing the right buttons. "Come on, you were at the cafeteria, were you not expecting someone to hear you? I was pitying her when I saw the poor girl slowly starting to–"
"Whatever you heard, Jia, is none of your business." Satoru said in a cold-hearted tone. "I love her. Get that in that little brain of yours." He scoffed, walking away.
Jia was furious, her eyes turning black in anger. Oh, she wanted to hurt you. She was the last fling of Satoru, and just because of you, he was acting like this. She didn't like the fact that you easily stole him from her.
December 13, 2023
The fall. The breaking point.
Suguru was having a party in his house, a public year-end party with a few of his college friends and blockmates, everyone was invited to have fun. Satoru took you with him, making sure to just stay by your side so you won't get lost at the sea of people.
"How are you two holding up?" Suguru approached you two, handing a cup to Satoru. "You two having fun?"
You nodded your head quietly. "Yeah... there's a lot of people. Are they all from our university?"
"Some are outsiders," Suguru chuckled. "Satoru, we're about to play by the pool. We'll wait for you there."
Satoru nodded, pulling you by the waist as Suguru left. "You okay, baby? Do you want to go home?"
You shake your head, "No, no, it's fine. We can stay a bit more."
"Mhmm, just tell me if you get tired, okay?"
You two walked together to the backyard, where the swimming pool was at. It was a bit crowded, but definitely fewer than inside Suguru's house. Shoko was there, a few of Suguru's friends, and Satoru's basketball teammates. They were all passing out their drinks, mixing whatever liquor was there.
Everyone said hi to Satoru, even to you. You watched silently as a few of his friends talked to him.
"Satoru, I'll go to Shoko first." You whispered above the noise. He turned his head at you, stopping his conversation with his friends.
"What? I'll go with you then–"
"No, it's fine, Shoko's just there." You said, pointing at Shoko who was lighting a cigarette right next to Suguru. "Don't worry, I'll be fine."
Satoru nodded reluctantly as he let you approach Shoko and Suguru, turning back to his friends, glancing at you once in a while.
But when he wasn't looking, Jia just had the perfect timing to enter the scene, stopping you midway.
"Oh, it's Satoru's little toy." Jia slurred her words. You looked at her confused as she looked at you judging. "He's still not breaking up with you? He wants to hurt you that bad, huh?" She chuckled.
You were trying to assess her words. You recognized her as the cheerleader Satoru was with last time, and her aura and words were making you nervous. What was she trying to say? What did she mean by that?
Satoru saw you, and his breath hitch when he saw who you are with. He looked over at Shoko and Suguru, who both stood up to approach you, but Jia was already taking advantage of you being alone.
"Poor girl," she frowned teasingly. "I'm pretty sure Satoru didn't want to go too far with the bet."
"Bet?" Your voice came out hoarse. You looked over at Jia's shoulder, where Shoko and Suguru stood frozen in their spot, their eyes widened in horror, and it gave you just enough explanation about what's happening.
"Oh, they were just betting about how Satoru can make you fall in love 'til December." She laughed wickedly. "I'm sorry, honey, you had to find out this way, but really, I was feeling sorry that I have to tell you–"
Her words were cut short when you felt a hand on your wrist. And you turned to see Satoru, his eyes red and shaking, "Baby..."
"Satoru? Was that true?" You looked into his eyes, hopeful. Your eyes welled up in tears, and his silence just made it worse. His hold on you was trembling, and he couldn't even say the right words out of his mouth.
You looked at Suguru and Shoko, your eyes pleading. "Shoko? Suguru?"
Another silence. It's like something was pulling the strings of your heart, threatening to cut your lifeline. And it hurt so much when they couldn't even say something.
You heaved a gasp, trying to stop a sob to escape your lips. But you failed miserably as Satoru tried to pull you in his embrace. "Let me explain–"
You pushed him away furiously, eyes angrily glaring at him. "Explain? Explain what?! That what she said was true?!"
Satoru's hands balled in a fist, and he felt his eyes burning as you pushed him away from his touch. His heart aches when you look at him full of hatred, and hurt. He felt his world slowly crumbling apart when you ran away in a hurry.
You quickly called Utahime, asking her to pick you up as soon as possible. While Satoru stood there helpless, his feet glued to the ground. He looked at Suguru, his eyes searching for help.
All of you were equally shocked, and nervous.
"Fucking go after her, Satoru!" Shoko shouted as she pulled Jia's hair. "Fucking bitch!"
The latter cried, but Satoru couldn't care less as Suguru pushed him to move. As fast as he could, he ran outside the door of Suguru's house, walking past every dancing body, he didn't even care if he crashed into someone, he just wanted to get to you.
And when he found you walking by the sidewalk, his heart started crying at your panicked state. He approached you, holding your wrist to stop you from walking any further.
"Satoru!"
"Let's talk, please–"
"Let go of me!"
"Let's talk, baby. Let's talk this out." He pleaded desperately, hands grasping your shoulders to stop you from moving.
Your body trembled against him, hands covering your face as you tried to stop your tears from falling continuously. "I hate you."
"I know you do–"
"Fucking jerk."
"I know, I know–"
"Don't touch me!" You burst, pushing him away harshly. His heart crashed into pieces, his breath coming out shallow and slow. Just like you, he was crying just as bad. "I knew! I knew from the very start you were up to no good! Utahime warned me, my friends warned me! But fuck you! I thought you actually cared! I thought you loved–"
"I love you, baby..." He said, weakly.
"You lying skim! I thought you changed!"
"Please, baby, let's talk about this when we're not angry? Please?" He tried to reach out for you, but his heart felt like it was losing its strength when you back away.
"I don't want to see you–"
"N-no, you don't mean that..." His voice came out as a whisper, a desperate plea for you to listen to him. "I'll take you home, we'll talk, okay? I'll explain and–"
"There's no use, Gojo."
Cruel. How cruel of you to say his last name so coldly. It was a sign that Satoru refused to look at. A sign that you were tired, that you want to let this go already.
His beautiful blue eyes seemed to lose its life, the same way that he was losing you. One moment, you were there by his side, and now... you looked at him as if you wanted to get him out of your life.
And it hurt so bad. It hurt so bad when he tried to touch you, but you still furiously backed away.
"I love you." His voice cracked, looking at you weakly. His hands shake by his side, fighting the urge to reach out for you.
You breathed heavily, shaking your head at him as you said nothing back. You clenched your teeth, not wanting to let him hear your sobs. You're starting to pity yourself, of how stupid you had become. You should've listened to Utahime the first time.
December 14, 2023
Satoru had never felt this lifeless before. Even Shoko and Suguru couldn't help him as he refused to talk to any of them.
His eyes were searching for you everywhere in the cafeteria, but to his dismay, you never showed up the whole day, not even in your classes. He wanted to ask Utahime when he saw her walking down the hallways, but the girl only glared at him as she walked passed. And Gojo was just as helpless as ever.
He messaged and called you a few times, but you didn't answer. He wanted to go to your house, but he can't even find the courage to do it.
December 15, 2023
Satoru finally saw you after a day of absence. You looked tired, and he was mentally cursing at himself for making you like this. He was starting to hate himself, and he's not going to forgive himself anytime soon.
Satoru tried to approach you, but you didn't even dare look him in the eye. He bit his lower lip, trying his hardest to stabilize his breathing. Just like he usually does, he walks you to class, only a few steps behind this time.
Fine, he'll settle for this. He'll give you the space you needed first before anything else.
At the cafeteria, he didn't see you once again. That worried him as he left Shoko and Suguru to look for you. The first place he thought of was the library, and he was glad to see you there.
You glanced up from your book, feeling someone staring at you. And you were right as your eyes met with Satoru, and your heart ached as your brows furrowed at him.
You looked away, trying not to be affected.
All throughout the day, Satoru thought of you and your last interaction. Every time the memory flashed in his mind, he wanted to punch himself. Hurt himself twice as much.
He fucked up so bad, and he wanted to make it up to you.
So he finally had the courage to wait outside your classroom's door after his class, waiting for the professor to dismiss everyone. He didn't waste anymore time as he got by your side quickly when you walked out the door.
Your name rolled out his tongue slowly, and you stopped dead on your track.
"I'll t-take you home..." He stuttered, his eyes searching yours for any emotion. But your eyes were dead, not even a single anger, or love for him in there.
"I'm fine, Gojo. You can go away–"
"I'm not going away."
You turned to him furiously. It was like you two are back to square one, to the first time you two met, and no one should ever forget that Gojo Satoru was persistent. But this time, two hearts were breaking and in a need to mend.
"P-please, let's talk–"
You didn't respond as you walked away fast, but damn his legs for always being able to keep up with you. Despite how Satoru took the hint that you don't want to talk to him, he still didn't care. It didn't matter to Satoru if he couldn't take you home with his car, he'll walk with you instead, like how he used to.
He'll be quiet. He just wants to be with you.
December 16, 2023
You hated Saturday classes. And you hate it even more that Satoru Gojo was tailing you behind. Trying his best to get you to talk to him.
"Baby–"
"Don't call me that."
He coughed awkwardly, blinking his tears away. "You didn't eat lunch today again, let me take you–"
"Cut the crap, Gojo."
He gulped when you looked at him, with hatred in your eyes.
Maybe, just maybe he can settle for this. Look at him. Just look at him. At least look at him, even if you don't want to love him anymore. It's fine. He understands. Just look at him.
"Stop with the act already. I'm so tired of it. I'm so tired of you."
"I'm sorry..." He muttered against his breath. "But I can't. Not until you listen to me." Not until you take him back.
"There's nothing for you to explain anymore, Gojo. I've had enough, and I get it. I understand as bright as day that it was just a game–"
"It's fucking not." He gritted his teeth. As much as he didn't want to be harsh, he was so desperate in wanting you to lend your ears to him. "It wasn't a game for me. And I did love you. I fucking love you still. Yes, it was a bet at first, but I told Suguru that I wanted to stop. He knows just how much I love you. Shoko knows. Fucking everyone knows at this point. Why can't you just listen to me?"
He catches his breath as he finishes voicing out his words. But no, you were a little hard in the head. You wouldn't believe him that fast. You didn't want to hurt your heart again.
"I don't love you."
You didn't know what gave you the urge to say that. It wasn't really true, but the wrong words seem to be the only right words to cut it out.
If Satoru's heart is already breaking, he was sure it is now turning into ashes. You're a liar, he tried to convince himself. You love him, and he's not about to give up just yet.
December 18, 2023
You can hurt Satoru how much you want, but that will never stop him from loving and chasing after you.
Another frustrated sigh came out from you when he left a cookie on your table to your first class, with a note saying, 'I love you. Don't forget to eat.' with his name underneath and a heart. You didn't even know how he managed to put these on your table so early in the morning, and your heart just wants to surrender.
But no, you're not.
So, even if it comes out too heartless, you offered the cookie to the person next to you as you crumpled the note, throwing it away inside your bag so no one would see it.
During lunch, Satoru saw you at your usual table, and tried to sit with you. But you got up in a hurry, pulling Utahime who just got back from the bathroom with you.
Being angry at him is one thing, but avoiding him? No, he can't take that. He'd rather have you stay mad at him, scream and hurt him verbally, even slap him if you want, but giving him the cold shoulder was you telling him that he doesn't exist in your world anymore. Satoru's heart is barely living at this point.
Satoru cursed to himself, standing up and going back to Shoko and Suguru who looked at him with a sad smile.
"Give it time, Satoru."
But time doesn't seem to be on his side.
And fate doesn't get along with you on your most desperate days as you watched the rain poured down once again. It was like deja vu. Standing outside the building, waiting for the rain to stop so you can go home.
But the rain was falling a little too harsh, and you know it's not about to stop anytime soon. It was like the rain also had a turmoil within itself, crying heavily just the same way your heart did.
You hate yourself for always forgetting an umbrella as you take a step, lifting your bag to your head, as you let the rain soak your clothes. It's the last day of school today anyway, you're finally taking your Christmas vacation tomorrow, and it wouldn't hurt to get sick for a few days.
Unbeknownst to you, Satoru comes to the rescue at the right time.
He held an umbrella as he ran after you, being careful as he strides so he won't trip on his feet.
He called your name, stopping shortly when he finally got you under the umbrella and pulling you close by the waist.
"I'll take you home." He shouted above the rain.
Your body trembled in the cold, and Satoru was embracing you like he used to. He didn't even mind if you got his clothes wet. But you still have the guts to push him away. "No! I can go home by myself!"
"Stop being stubborn!" Despite holding you with one hand, his other hand holding the umbrella, he still managed to keep you on your feet, his hand squeezing your waist tightly.
"Gojo–"
"Stop it!"
"Let go of me!"
"You're going to get sick!"
"I don't fucking care!"
"No, I'll take you home–"
"Gojo Satoru!"
Satoru gave up as you writhed from his embrace. He dropped his umbrella, using both his hands to grab your waist, and kissing you in the rain.
His tongue was invading, seeking every corner of your mouth desperately. Fuck, he missed this. He missed you so much. And he didn't even care if the rain was slowly ruining his hair and clothes, as long as he had you right here in his arms.
It was a dangerous dance underneath the cold waters beneath the rain. Two lovers, hopelessly trying to heal their broken hearts. Their lips tangled together like it was their last chance to be like this again.
"Satoru..."
"I'll take you home..."
How did you let yourself become weak for him?
You handed him a towel as both of you entered your home. Despite how upset you are with him, you couldn't possibly just leave him wet by the rain and catch a cold. You were just being nice, you said to yourself. It's not because of your affection towards him, you're just being a helpful woman who still has a heart so you invited him into your house. Thats it, that's all there is, perhaps.
Before you can leave him, Satoru holds your hand, electrifying the two of you to stop you from your tracks. You tried to look at him in the eye, but it was impossible. Satoru doesn't even try to hide how much he's hurting in front of you, and that just doubles the pain that you're feeling right now.
"Let's talk..." He said weakly. "Please? I'm not leaving if we don't talk."
"Satoru, please, just let it go..."
"No," he shakes his head stubbornly. "You mean so much to me."
Your breath hitched as he pulled you close, cupping your cheeks with both hands as he leaned his forehead against yours.
"It's true, we did make a bet..." He closed his eyes, the words falling in his mouth felt like daggers shot straight to his heart. "And I hate myself for it. For being a prideful jerk who wanted to prove he can have whoever he wants, and hurting you in the process..."
Satoru breathed heavily, his hands rubbing circles on your cheek. "Before I knew it, I was down badly on my knees. I wanted you. I love you. I wanted to spend each and every waking moment with you. And I told Suguru, and Shoko, that I wanted to stop whatever game we agreed upon, so I can start loving you truthfully..."
"Satoru..."
"And I felt so alive, baby. When you told me you love me too, when you let me be your boyfriend, when you finally accepted my love for you. Fuck, I can die a happy man. I just... love you. I love being loved by you. I love it when you let me love you. I love it when you do nothing and it just drives me wild. I love it every time I see your eyes looking at me. I love hearing your voice, seeing you smile, and love it even more when you let me hold your hand! I love every single piece of your soul, and I want you. I want to always be with you. My heart aches for you, baby... please..."
He was crying. Oh, god, he was crying as he confessed everything to you. And you swear your heart wants to come out from your chest.
Your heart was swelling, he was mending your bruises, healing your scars in every word he uttered. Your tears were falling nonstop, and your hands quiver to place it above his.
"Satoru..." You sobbed, looking at his helpless blue eyes who'd been crying buckets as well. "I hate the fact that I love you so much."
Satoru heaved a gasp as he pulled you to his embrace, sealing you in a wet kiss. Somehow, it didn't even feel cold anymore now that you have your arms around him again.
His face settled on your neck, and he was catching his breath. He ran his hands in your hair, holding you tight as if he was afraid to let you go.
"Don't leave me again..."
"I won't. I promise." You let out a low chuckle. This time, you cupped his cheek so he could look at you. "I love you so much, Satoru. I'm so sorry for hurting you."
"I deserved it." He smiled. Finally, he was smiling at you. "And I love you more."
Satoru made sure he's not letting you escape this time. Everyday, he's going to make it up to you. He's going to tell you how much he loves you, and he's going to make sure you'll never even forget it until you fall asleep. He's going to love you like it's breathing, and he promised to himself he's going to love you until the next lifetime.
***
i know i said I'll do the part 2 of my Suguru fic, but im so sorry this was in my head for ages 😭 i promised ill start part 2 in a while... anyways, thanks for reading! its not proofread so im sorry for any typographical errors and spelling ^^
#gojo angst#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#suguru geto#geto suguru#satorugojo#satoru gojo#jujutsu satoru#jjk satoru#gojou satoru x reader#shoko ieiri#jjk shoko#jujutsu kaisen shoko#jujutsu shoko#utahime iori#iori utahime#jjk utahime#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jjk angst#jjk comfort#—taste of sky ☁️
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I wrote the full parody to Ready For This in the Role Reversal AU because I wanted to lol.
Transcription below.
Ready For This (Role Reversal AU parody)
Alastor: Have you ever wanted something
That was so clear in your mind that you could taste it?
Susan: You mean like ice cream you get for a friend?
Alastor: Ha! No.
It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut
That you could finally be faced with
A million greedy faces, I guess what I mean to say is
For the first time in my life
I might have to be ready for this
Ready to be the one who's leading from the front
Couldn’t do it on my own
And history has shown
Legends cannot win wars alone
The burden is a bit too heavy
So I need to be ready for this
Have you ever felt like you're willing to kill
To save the people on your own team?
Susan: I don’t know, seems a bit extreme…
Alastor: Not to me!
'Cause right now, we need a leader
And it seems to be that
Charlie is forcing me to be that
because she’s pissy
So who's with me?
Wouldn't it just be swell to see more of Hell?
Join up now if you like travel
Come on girls, prepare for battle!
Lotta sights to see en route to the hotel
Not to mention all of the glory!
Yes indeed, your enemies will cower
And heads will be severed!
Charlie: You’ll make a bunch of brand new friends!
Alastor: Whatever.
Exorcists: New friends!?
I'm in
Oh whoa
I’m so lonely
It's time now to act
They're on the attack
When they move to strike
Just know we’ve got your back!
We'll follow your lead
We're eager to see
everyone we meet
On the hellish retreat!
From this moment on, you can count us in
To be organized and disciplined
Our thirst for justice
keeps us strong, fierce, and brave
So I say, "Ho hey! Let’s join in his crusade!"
Alastor: Now thats the spirit! Can we amp it up?
Vaggie: Oh, don’t mind their hesitation, that’s just their new inclination
Alastor: But I can awaken their bloodlust!
Vaggie: Careful, kid. Don’t push your luck!
Alastor: Fair enough…
Alastor and Vaggie: We're super duper grateful
To have you gals aboard
Exorcists: We can’t wait to hug an overlord! (Alastor: Yeah, sure...)
Alastor: For the first time in my life
Maybe I can be ready for this
I can be the marshal leading the parade
I can come into my own
And I think I've always known
My destiny could never be postponed
When they come for the hotel
I’ll give em hell cuz I’m ready for this!
Vaggie: They're dancing along?
They're singing his song!?
Charlie: Surprised?
Why, I knew he could do it all along!
Charlie and Vaggie: He’s bound to be redeemed, the dream has a chance!
Though he seemed hopeless at first glance…
Charlie: He’s filled with potential that I could guide!
Vaggie: Fine, I’m in.
Charlie and Vaggie: Stick with him, he will surely see the light!
All: For the first time in our lives
We know that we are ready for this
Vaggie: We’ll show them we can forgive and forget!
All: It's time to lend a hand
Alastor: It is time to take a stand! (Exorcists: Woohoo!)
Against overlords and their deadly threat!
All: We can provide your support
The time has come to stop a war
Defend your home, we're ready for...
THIS!
Alastor: I really hope that they’re ready for this...
#hazbin hotel#shitpost#omg thank u for being nice to me in the replies n tags u guys r cute🥹#role reversal au
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PAC: Mitski, what about me is eternal like the.. moon?
I had so much fun doing this
~~~~~~~~~~~
Pile 1:
'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love mine, mine, mine Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love is mine, all mine, all mine
I'm sitting right in front of your cards in utter awe. I got goosebumps when I laid eyes on your cards, pile 1. Let me begin by saying this: you've seen some DARK and truly terrible times, haven't ya? Even as I say this, it feels like an understatement. There have been times when you were stripped down to bare bones, and you had to "grow back the rest of you." I apologize for the gruesome metaphor (but hey, I'm just the messenger; this ain't really coming from me :p). Maybe you've had to encounter times when you felt painfully lonely, stuck in your head and in your general life too, like your spirit was beaten down. Or maybe it felt as if the universe snatched away something you thought was incredibly precious? But I hear that it wasn't what you thought it was; that's why it had to go. You probably didn't see it that way at all, and THAT'S ALRIGHT because we don't have Spirit's perspective, now do we? I see that you really struggled to put yourself together after that somewhat 'impossible-seeming' loss. It seemed like it came outta left field.
BUT GUESS THE FUCK WHAT. You, my friend, took this PAIN and these fucked up times and turned it into a damn palace of gold. You read that right. What's eternal about you? Your alchemy. Your fire. Your willpower. Your ability to take life by the balls. Your refusal to let it beat you to dust. Your refusal to be small. Literal goosebumps, you feeling it yet? It's your connection to God/Source/Universe. Your faith. Your mastery of your mind, babe. Yeah. You've somehow mastered your mind in this process of putting yourself back together. Acknowledge that ish! 'Cause you really did do that.
Nothing can ever get you to stop dreaming, and much less trying to stop you from achieving them, love. You're a powerhouse of energy, and God bless anybody who ever underestimates that (you included side-eyeing you right now). Not you getting low key called out, haha.
Don't get me wrong, though; being a powerhouse of energy doesn't necessarily mean being in everybody's face trying to assert your dominance, y'know? It can look like silent crying in the middle of the night and waking up the next day determined to overcome the thing that made you cry the day before.
Your light is what's eternal about you. It never goes off. Like ever. Your dedication to learning and growing through whatever, and I mean WHATEVER, life throws your way is what will never die, sweetie. It's like a part of your essence at this point. I hope you're proud of that and know that it's what will bring you to your success in life, whatever that looks like for each one of you beautiful ass people reading this :)
Haha, that's so cute; I just heard Spirit go "you're going places, sweetheart" ><
And with that, let's end your FABULOUS, goosebumps-inducing (btw, I don't say that about just ANYTHING), and awe-inspiring reading here.
Thank you, pile 1, for sharing your energy with me today. I love you guys so, so much and… not gonna lie, I'm low key honored to have been in your presence today. Haha, see ya!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Pile 2:
My baby, here on earth Showed me what my heart was worth So, when it comes to be my turn Could you shine it down here for her?
My god, why is there so much happening as I tap into your energy, pile 2? And I mean it in a nice way, though. I heard T Swift's song "The Last Great American Dynasty" as I was shuffling for you, and I heard Spirit go, "she's sweet and salty," lol. We'll see how all that plays into the reading eventually.
The first thing I noticed was your incredible balance within your mind and heart. It's shocking. Maybe you've been working on getting these aspects of yours to agree with one another and balance each other out, or it's simply your personality, but… pile 2, this beautiful mind-heart balance is what's eternal about you, love. Your peace. Your calm. The childlike innocence of your heart blending seamlessly with your mind's unending curiosity for life. Your emotional intelligence. The way you flow… like water, I heard. Wow! I find that so amazing, ugh, like can we be friends, pile 2? T-T, 'cause I definitely need some of that in my life right now, not gonna lie, haha.
There's that AND then there's a whole other dimension to you where you give 'life of the party' vibes as well. OH, so maybe that's why I heard Spirit say "sweet and salty," like two very different things but produce a wonderful taste together. Complex. Addicting. You make people want to come back for more, pile 2. Mmmmmm! Love that!
You have this laid-back vibe to you as well that a lot of people in your life appreciate. I see that your ability to lighten anybody's day is what's eternal about you awwww. I heard "she's the sunshine of my life." UGH, this is too wholesome for my heart; please save me. You seem to really perk up people's day/week or just life in general. You give, like, Saggi vibes, bro. It doesn't matter if you have that in your chart, but it's just your soul. The eternal aspect of you feels bright, expansive, loving, and so vibrant in energy, my god. You've also got strong feminine energy too… you must be really good at attracting 'cause you're strong in your feminine energy AND you're chill and detached from it at the same time. Effortless manifester, master manifester are some words that come to mind as I describe this.
Your divinity is what's eternal about you. Your 'witchy vibes.' Your embodiment of your highest truth. Your commitment to maintaining this divine connection in your day-to-day. Bro, what's eternal about you is that you can turn any old mundane task/thing into something fun and magical and full of meaning and symbolism. You live life deep, and even though there aren't a whole lotta people who can join you there, you wouldn't have it any other way. It's your raw authenticity, babe. Circling back to "The Last Great American Dynasty" song, maybe you're like Rebekah that T Swift sings about, "the most shameless woman this town has ever seen." People tend to call raw, authentic women shameless, but you couldn't care less. You will forever do what you like 'cause you're a free-spirited divine mystic in the body of a teeny lil human. Love it.
That's all I have for you, pile 2. Thank you for spending time with me! I love you so much <3
~~~~~~~~~~~
Pile 3:
Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you? So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you?
Ah, my divine activators. What's eternal about you? Your intensity. BS detection might as well be your middle name. Sherlock Holmes who? 'Cause you're the new detective in town, baby, sniffing out illusions, falsities, fake people, LIES, victim mentality. None of that runs free with you around, I'll tell you that. It's your capacity to hold divine truth, lovingly, which is INCREDIBLY hard, btw. You can't stand half-assed people and people who seem to not have their "heads screwed on straight." Lmao, what kinda people are you surrounded by, pile 3? Ooh, I heard that you're divinely planted where you are so you can activate a lot of people into awakening to their true selves, but it looks like nobody wants to actually awaken. Lmao.
-Side note: My heart goes out to you if you've been surrounded by really difficult and chaotic energies that bring you down a lot. That SUCKS so hard, bro. Been there myself too lately, and it's not a fun merry-go-round to co-exist with. Just keep being your amazing cool-ass self, ok? Things will work out eventually. You already intuitively feel that things will get better, so trust that feeling!-
If I could describe your energy, I would use the Phoenix rising from the ashes symbolism to do so. Ohhhhh, as I told you that, I saw a vision of T Swift's music video of "Look What You Made Me Do," where she comes out of the grave and sings, "Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time." I'm a fan, pile 3. Omg. That's some badass ballsy energy, and I'm so here for it right now. You're the epitome of what psychological death and rebirth looks like. You're the textbook definition. And THAT'S what's eternal about you. No matter where you are or what you end up doing in life, you'll always be able to "rise up from the dead" and do it iconically too. Haha, I literally heard that. Lmao. This ability of yours is an extension of the greater aspect of you - your higher self. Whoa… I just heard you've had this ability for lifetimes and you will take it strongly with you to the next ones as well. Powerful. It's etched in your soul, pile 3. You know what you want and how to get it, even if not immediately; you always do eventually. It's the security you possess within yourself that's eternal, love. Nothing can really shake you at this point. Lmao. You've got a strong-ass foundation.
-Side note: I'm really seeing a healed and fully realized root chakra for you. If you haven't gotten there yet, you're well on your way! Good job! Root chakra work is the most brutal, btw, so… you really have my respect. Haha, moving on-
You have warrior energy present quietly in your personality as well. You give spiritual warrior vibes. You don't prefer to live in it 24/7; it's simply something you tap into when a situation calls for it. Otherwise, I see you being quite heart-centered, full of love, looking at the world with rose-colored glasses. Your inner child is what's eternal about you. Your divine sensitivity and your capacity to hold your emotions without judgment and live big from a place of heart. You embody the energy of water in my eyes, tbh. Life-giving but also destructive if need be, and there's absolutely nothing weak about water. Phew. You are eternal as the oceans are.
Ahhh, pile 3, that was sooo much fun! Thanks for stopping by, and I love you soooo much!
~~~~~~~~~~~
#astrology community#spirituality#tarot#tarotcommunity#divination#tarot cards#tarot reading#pac reading#tarot readers#pac tarot#PAC free reading#tarotblr#free tarot#spiritual awakening#spiritualgrowth#consciousness#mysticism#PAC#pick a card reading#pick a pile#pick a card#pick a picture#tarot witch#tarot community#spiritual community#spiritual journey#dark night of the soul#mitski#i love mitski#mitski is my spirit animal now
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Santa Baby
Pairing: Loki x F!reader
Summary: Think of all the fun I've missed/ Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed/ I really do believe in you/ Let's see if you believe in me.
Warnings: Smut. Degradation, dirty talk, loss of virginity (reader's), dom!Loki, oral sex (f!receiving), breeding kink, unprotected sex, ever so slight Jotun!Loki. Loki hasn't had his redemption arc yet
Okay, so, I really have no excuses for this one. It's borderline crackfic but I did my best lol
"Nicholas!"
"Odin!"
You stand shoulder to shoulder with your brother as you watch your father embrace the Allfather. For as long as you can remember, this has been your family's Christmas tradition. After your father finishes delivering gifts all across the nine realms on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day is spent on Asgard with the royal family. You aren't sure why it's a tradition- the elves say it's because Odin was the one to gift your father his powers, to create Santa Claus as the worlds know him- but you've learned over the years it's best not to argue about it.
(There was one year you wanted to spend Christmas at home in the North Pole like a normal family... and your mom fainted from the shock. The elves wouldn't talk to you for a month (which wasn't all that disappointing if you were to be honest). So you considered that lesson learned and never brought it up ever again.)
You watch as your mother greets Frigga next, the two of them looking like the epitome of the Mother archetype. Frigga with her regal air and your mother with her kind smile. You can't imagine ever having to step into their roles and you feel relieved you'll never have to. Your brother is set to be the next Santa and his wife will be Mrs. Claus. Odin's throne will go to Thor and his wife we'll be Queen of Asgard.
All you have to be is yourself.
Free to make your own rules.
To forge your own path.
To-
"Hello, little one." Loki smiles at you fondly and steps towards you. His hands are bound in front of him and the chains draped over his body rattle with each movement.
You tilt your head, observing him closely. "Loki. I knew you were on my dad's Naughty list for the whole New York thing, so I guess it makes sense you ended up on Odin's list too."
His smile morphs into a nasty sneer as he bares his teeth at you. A guard yanks on the chain around his neck, pulling him an appropriate distance from you.
"Must we do this today," Frigga whispers to her husband. "It's the last day of Yule. Let Loki have an hour of freedom."
"And what will that hour cost us," Odin counters.
Your father raises his hand. "If I may? The kids have been working on their magic and sugar plum over here has a real talent for it. I'm sure she could keep Loki in line for an hour."
Loki's eyes burn a hole into the side of your skull as he says, "Yes. The Santa baby can watch me."
"For an hour," you add, turning to your dad. You point a finger at the jolly old man. "And only an hour."
Odin strokes his beard thoughtfully, considering every possible outcome of letting Loki free for a bit. Eventually, he bangs his staff against the shimmering golden floor and Loki's chains fall away. Loki, for his part, makes an effort not to appear too eager. He rubs his wrists and rolls his neck before squaring his shoulders and turning to you.
"I'm at your mercy for the next hour, sugar plum."
And the way he says it so seductively has you reaching the realization that maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.
You fidget uncomfortably, balling the ends of your long sleeves in your hands. Loki watches your twitchy movements silently. That's how he's always watched you. Ever since that first meeting when you were nothing more than a child coming to terms with her father being the Santa Claus. He's always watched you silently, thoughtfully, like he's waiting for you to decide who you'll be... and maybe, just maybe, if there will be a place for him beside you when you do decide who to be.
"I'm already regretting this," you say out loud to no one really.
No one is paying attention anymore anyway.
No one except Loki who places a hand at the small of your back and gestures in front of you with the other. "Come, we both know you're foaming at the mouth to get to the garden."
You can't help the eyeroll his words induce. "How eloquent."
"Thank you."
"I wasn't complimenting you."
Loki purses his lips, fighting back a grin. "No, you would never do that, would you?"
"Just shut up and follow me."
He pretends to zip his mouth shut and throw away the key, earning an aggravated groan from you.
If you were to be honest, you don't find Loki's presence all that objectionable. Sure, his ego is out of hand, he tried to take over your home planet, he can be a real pain in the ass, sassy, confrontational, a know it all... wait, what was your point again? Oh, right! Loki has many, many, many faults, but he's always been kind to you. Deep down you know his affection for you doesn't truly account for the monstrosities he's committed, but it does make him ten percent less Naughty in your eyes.
"When will you tell Jolly Old Saint Nicholas that I've been the one helping you with your magic, sugar plum."
Okay. Five percent less Naughty.
"Never," you say without looking at him. Instead you fix your eyes on the garden up ahead.
He clicks his tongue. "How absolutely Naughty of you. I approve."
Two percent.
"I don't need your approval. And stop calling me sugar plum!"
Loki stops walking abruptly, forcing you to turn around and meet him face to face. Or face to chest rather. He's taller than you by several inches and his broad figure almost blocks out the steadily rising sun. Hues of pink, orange, and purple burst from behind him in pastel streaks of color. The wind is soft and gentle as it wraps around the two of you, pressing your bodies ever closer. If you could paint you think you would paint him just as he is now, all soft edges and gentle eyes.
He shakes his head. "You don't need it, but you want it. You crave it, don't you, my darling?"
You think you prefer him calling you sugar plum. That feels far less intimate than hearing the words my darling come out of his mouth.
"I don't want anything from you," you say full of false bravado.
"Oh?" Loki pulls you in to his body and tilts your chin up with his thumb and forefinger. "Not even my cock? I think if I were to bend you over this balcony and fuck that tight little cunt of yours, you'd thank me by the end of it. Wouldn't you, sugar plum?"
You swallow the lump in your throat and will away the rising heat in the pit of your stomach. "I said stop calling me that, Loki."
"Then what would you prefer, hmm?" His lips are centimeters from yours, teasing you by brushing against you ever so lightly as he speaks. "You positively lit up when I called you my darling. How does my queen sound? Better yet, how about my whore?"
"Stop."
"Did you make it to the Nice list this year? No sneaking around and kissing boys behind my back?"
You grit your teeth, embarrassment washing over you with the realization that you actually enjoy having him talk to you like this. "Stop. I know what you're trying to do."
"And what would that be?"
"You want me to give up on you like everyone else. There's a past between us whether we like it or not and you want me to just... forget it. Let it go. Everyone else already believes you're a monster and you can't stand that there's one person in the world who still believes you can be good."
Silence stretches out between the two of you like a snake sunbathing on a rock. It's an almost tangible sensation. All you can hear is the air rushing through your lungs as Loki's chest rises and falls at an alarming rate.
"Is this the part where we hug and I thank you for always believing in me? Because... no, I don't think I'll do that," Loki finally says after a few painful seconds.
You huff in frustration, spinning on your heel to go back inside and forget the whole deal. You'll lock yourself in a guest room with some delicious Asgardian mead and that'll be that. This whole sexual tension thing with a man you shouldn't want in the first place will disappear along with the alcohol.
Before you can take a step forward and put you're new Christmas Day plan into motion, Loki grabs you by the arm and pulls you back. His chest presses into your back, a warm and solid wall of muscle.
"Where do you think you're running off to, sugar plum?" He bends down and whispers the words in your ear, his lips ghosting over your skin and leaving goosebumps all over your body.
"Your hour's up."
"I've still got forty five minutes."
"Yeah, well... I'm finished with this."
Loki slips an arm around your waist, grinding his hardened length into your ass. "You're through when I say you're through, and right now I want you down on your knees worshipping."
"But... we're outside..."
The protest dies on your lips as green sparks emanate from Loki's fingertips, circling the two of you before sinking back into his palm.
"There," he says simply. "Problem solved. Now if anyone were to walk by they would simply see us admiring the flowers. Now, on your knees."
You let him push you down on your knees, his long fingers curling in your hair. Through the tight leather of his trousers you can make out the imprint of his cock. You won't be able to take all of him in your mouth. There's just no way. You're willing to try though, you think to yourself as you look up into the familiar green-blue of his eyes.
He helps you undo his pants, picking up the slack when your nervous fingers tremble while untying the laces. He's eerily patient and allows you to take your time. Build your courage as it were. You want this. You know you do. You're just... nervous.
The realization strikes Loki suddenly. "You're a virgin?"
The accusation- however true- doesn't sit right in your chest. "Do you want me to do this or not?"
Loki's eyes shine bright with absolute glee. "You are!"
"Loki-"
The world swirls and warps around you, the oxygen leaving your lungs in a sudden woosh. You suddenly find yourself in your usual guest chambers. Still on your knees. Still out of breath.
"Much better!" Loki sighs happily before making himself comfortable on the large bed. "Actually, one more thing."
A fire roars to life in the hearth and the bright gold decorations littering the room turn a deep shade of emerald.
"Lest you forget who you're with," he explains simply.
"I couldn't if I tried." You look at Loki out of the corner of your eye as he lounges on the bed. His pants are undone, exposing the deep V of his pelvic muscles and a light dusting of hair. He looks at you so intently you feel like you might explode. "What?"
Loki motions for you to come closer. "I want you to come on my face, sugar plum."
You swear your body just gives out as soon as you hear the words. "W-what?"
He growls and sits straight up. "You are going to walk that pretty little arse over here, and then your are going to straddle my face, so I can lick your cunt until you come."
It takes everything in you to do exactly as he says. You aren't completely inexperienced and you aren't a complete idiot either. You know what the fire in your belly and the slickness between your thighs means. You want Loki, wanted him for years. Never in your wildest dreams did you think he actually wanted you too.
It's a Christmas miracle in your opinion.
When you make it to the edge of the bed Loki tuts at you, toying with the hem of your dress. "I meant to comment earlier, but this is the most horrid thing I've ever seen."
Your brow furrows. "Hey! Sprinkle made this for me!"
"Sprinkle." The way Loki says the elf's name almost sounds like a curse.
"You've met him before. Back a few- oof!"
Loki rips the dress to tatters in the blink of an eye. You want to hit him, curse him, something, but he moves too quickly. Instead you make a mental note to apologize to Sprinkle when you get home, and let Loki manipulate your body so that your kneeling over his face. His breath on your core sends a shiver through your body.
"Loki," you whine, gripping at his hair.
"Good girl," he moans out as you tug on the long, dark strands. "Let's see if you taste as sweet as you look."
His tongue laves at your folds, teasing you. It's strange but nice and exhilarating all at once. Your hips buck involuntarily when he finally slips his tongue inside you and he sighs happily against your skin.
"Fuck, yes," Loki groans.
You whimper pathetically.
"I need inside you. Now," he says against your soaked cunt. "I need you, darling."
All you can do is nod. Your bones feel like jelly, but you want more. You want him. You want him inside you. You want him to come inside you. You want it so badly you can almost imagine a future filled with children who have your hair and his eyes.
When he looks up at you there's a split second where you think he sees that future too.
Loki ends the moment quickly though, telling you to get on your back. He positions his cock at your entrance and you have a momentary lapse in confidence. You don't want him to stop, but he's bigger than you could've guessed, and-
"Relax." Loki presses his mouth to yours, nipping at your bottom lip. "You were made to take this cock."
You nod and angle your hips up so his tip slips inside you. Your unused muscles twitch against the intrusion, making Loki hiss out something in Old Norse. One of his hands wraps around your throat while the other pins your hips against the bed. Using this leverage he pushes his entire length inside you, swallowing your screams with his lips. Loki pumps in and out of you slowly, watching your face for signs of discomfort.
"M-more," you sigh. "Harder... more... please..."
His breath hitches. "Are you sure, my darling?"
"Yes!"
"Very well." Loki's hips snap, shoving himself even deeper inside you.
Your hands fly to grip his biceps. His skin is colder. Colder than you've ever felt it. And there's a slight blue tinge.
"Loki, fuck... oh my god..."
His hand not wrapped around your throat slaps across your cheek. "My king. Say it. Say I'm your king."
You manage a tiny nod. "You're... you're my king..."
Loki's grip tightens and his pace quickens. You can feel his thick cock sliding in and out of you, stretching you around him, forcing his way deep inside you.
"L-Loki..." You let out a short whine. "Come inside me. Please. I need it. Please, please..."
He chuckles darkly. "How pathetic. You're begging like a common whore. Is that what you are, darling? Are you my whore?"
"Y-yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, my king."
Loki, seemingly satisfied by your answer, lifts your leg over his shoulder and shoves his way deeper inside you. There's a painful burn as you adjust to the new angle and pace, but the look of ecstasy on Loki's face is enough to send you over the edge again. You come on his cock once more, but this time he comes with you, filling you until it leaks out.
You aren't sure when you closed your eyes, but when you open them Loki is looking at you with a strange expression.
"My hour is up," is all he says.
#loki x reader#loki smut#loki x you#loki x y/n#loki fanfiction#loki laufesyon x reader#loki layfeyson imagine
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Rough timeline of Hell
Tldr: devils are such grandpas.
Has anyone managed to write down the timeline in hell yet? Because for now I'm slowly catching up on what I wasn't there and I have to write everything down so I don't get lost. I've done some math before, trying to figure out how many years have passed since Solomon disappeared. I will quickly refresh this information a bit - Most things haven't changed, but I should mention that we now know that time in Hell and on Earth passes at different times and rates. So today a minute may pass, and tomorrow a year may pass.
For the sake of keeping some data, we'll stick with the average I calculated earlier, because I haven't found a better point of reference yet. So - one year in hell is 6.6 years on earth.
Quick proportions: 365*365/6.6 =~56 days
That would mean MC has been in hell for about two months.
Possible? I guess so. I don't remember MC's exact time in hell being given anywhere, but I haven't read 6Ch yet. Devils believe that for them practically no time has passed, but they are long-lived, there's no point in believing them. This is of course the time of the main storyline.
Now it's time for something worse. Two months is a piece of cake - now we'll be playing with years. Let's start with the order in which the kingdoms were formed.
Tartaros - Definitely the first, judging by little Mammon's event.
Hades - I'm betting on the latter, because when Satan formed Gehenna, Levi was already on the throne. We know this from both Sitri and Amy events.
Gehenna - After these two, I think the third one is Gehenna. When Satan found Sitri (which was during his takeover of Gehenna), the other kings also showed up and had their eyes on him. Mammon and Levi. Beel didn't show up then.
Avisos - Continuing, Beel may not have appeared because he didn't care, or because he wasn't king. I have no information on that. So I'd put him somewhere between Hades or not far after Gehenna.
Abaddon - no information. From Asmodeus himself and his behavior I would think he could have taken power quite early, but who the hell knows.
Niflheim - I haven't gotten to that event yet, but from what I've seen of people's mentions, no one really knows what to do with them. Rather leaning towards one of the younger countries. It makes sense that Belphi simply didn't feel like it lol
Paradise Lost - The last of the countries, what we know from Luci's event.
Why did I present this? So that we could have some first idea - because now comes the math. Again. Yay.
Sitri, Amy, and Levi allow us to roughly (very roughly) count how much time has passed since the founding of Gehenna to the arrival of the MC. Thanks to the fact that events overlap with the main plot. Long live backstories.
311 years passed from the moment Solomon disappeared until the appearance of MC.
Solomon lived in hell from 100 to 150 years.
Sitri spent almost 100 years in Hades studying.
Sitri and Amy met every five years at Gehenna meetings so regularly that they made a fandom. It's quite modern, post-Solomon times. We can assume about 50-100 years. That's not a problem for now, because…
…They have known each other for hundreds of years, which ranges from 200 to 999 years.
All these events create a timeline something something like this:
We need to assume something to be able to operate on numbers.
For minimum: 100+200+311-50 = 561
For maximum: 100+999+311-100 = 1310
So the average is: (561+1310)/2=935,5
This would mean that somewhere between 561 and 1310 years passed from the founding of Gehenna to the appearance of the MC. With probability leaning closer to 935 years, since we have nothing better than an average.
I think these assumptions are enough for now. Especially since we have no idea what the truth is. As you can see, there are a lot of maybes and ifs. But still, I think it's interesting to at least try to grasp how older our sexy boys are.
Of course if you have something to add, add it! I could be wrong on so many levels that I don't even know if it's worth posting this, but I had too much fun writing it (and maybe I'll learn something more from you!)
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Aren't you tired yet? So, I have another funfact. It falls into the category of conspiracy theories are my passion. (They are as you see.)
From the moment Solomon appeared in hell to the moment MC appeared, approximately 461 years passed. If MC lived a similarly long life, that's a total of 611 years. In terms of Earth years, the entire cycle, from when Solomon appeared to when Solomon's descendant disappeared, would take about 4,000 Earth years. (611*6.6)
What's interesting about this, you ask?
Let me quote something: "The chronology [of the Bible] is highly schematic, marking out a world cycle of 4,000 years."
Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronology_of_the_Bible
That would be an interesting symbolism. Our ancestor started a cycle that began to change hell, and MC, his descendant, would end that cycle, giving hope for a new, better era.
#wbh#what in hell is bad#as always... it was NOT supposed to be this long#I honestly think it can be improved#but for now I'll settle for this until I get more information#whb hades#whb tartaros#whb gehenna#whb avisos#whb abaddon#whb paradise lost#whb niflheim
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I feel like I’m always harassing you with my asks (sorry!!), but bouncing off of my previous request for Black lore- what are the Blacks (that we know) like ✨in bed✨? What are they into?
I spent way too long thinking of this!
We'll start with Sirius the Grandpa Black. I have a feeling he was wild in bed, like he was wild in everything. Curiously, I spoke with a friend about this just the past week, and I said 'he made his wife very happy in bed, and exasperated outside of it'. He was a leg man- he loved long, shapely legs on a woman. In his time-period, no one could see a woman's legs, all hidden by long skirts, but he had a way of guessing beforehand lol.
Arcturus- funnily enough, in the new chapter I am writing, Sirius jokes that Arcturus probably only had sex twice in his life, because he cannot see his strict grandfather as a sexual being. And while he certainly had sex more than twice, I think he was pretty standard in bed, nothing crazy, just plain old missionary style. He was a virgin when he married and never cheated on his wife, even after she died, had no desire for anyone other than her.
Pollux and Irma (in my story she's also a Black, half, on her mother's side) have the same dynamic in bed they have in real life. Irma really likes dominating him, and in bed, he actually enjoys it.
Cygnus has a pregnancy kink 😂 That aside, poor man hadn't had much sex since his wife fell into a deep depression.
Alphard was into nerdy, quiet men with a hint of a wild side (he once had a brief crush on Tom Riddle, of course). He was a very generous partner, in bed and outside of it. His last partner, whom he'd been with on and off for like two decades, and actually lived with for the last five years of his life, almost made an appearance in Canis Major, but I had to let the scene go. Alphard left what remained of his wealth to Sirius, but he left his beautiful home to his partner, who was disowned by his family when he moved in with Alphard.
Orion, like the hypocrite he is, likes wilful, stubborn women that defy social convention. The surest way to attract his attention was to 'behave atrociously' (as he would call it) in public. He's twisted, and he enjoys pursing strong women, only to dominate them when he gets them. As soon as he 'tames' them, he loses interest in them. He's very good in bed, very open minded unlike in every other aspect of his life. No one ever left Orion's bed unsatisfied.
Orion needs intimacy- he never had a simple one night stand. Even with his briefest affairs, he still took the time to know them first, and never jumped in bed at the first opportunity, nor was he one to feel attraction for a woman just based on her looks. I think he liked 'the hunt' most of all.
That aside, if his marriage hadn't broken apart, he'd have never cheated on Walburga. Before everything went to hell, for the first ten years of their marriage, he didn't even think of other women, was 1000000% satisfied with his wife. Even after it all went down the drain, during the years, whenever Walburga gave the briefest sign she wants him back in her bed, he'd abandon whoever he was with and come *running* back home, eating up whatever scrap of affection he could get from her.
Walburga was basically into everything Orion suggested, and she had a few suggestions of her own (learned from those erotica and sometimes straight up smut novels that she loves and were mentioned very briefly in It runs) that she wanted to try out. She loves dangerous men (that's why we see her reading books with a naked, fanged vampire on the cover). I'm certain she made Orion pretend he was a vampire at least once 😂 She also had a slight exhibitionism streak when she was younger and they lived in Egypt, which put Orion on edge (but also secretly delighted him). They weren't even having full on sex back then (Orion insisted they wait until marriage) but she found ways to rile him up and play with him and drive him mad until they finally retuned to England and got married.
Bellatrix is creative and she always chases a thrill, and her sex life is fabulous. Rabastan, poor dear, had seen and heard things in that Manor that either give him nightmares, either inappropriate dreams staring his sister in law and his brother. Sometimes, Bellatrix likes duels as foreplay, so she and Rodolphus destroy parts of the Manor and then fuck in the middle of the damage. Of course, they also have calmer sex, an entire day of lazying in bed with Rodolphus, filled with gentle love-making. But when they're feeling more wild and duels come into play, whoever wins gets to dictate the encounter.
No one knows what Narcissa likes in bed, only Lucius, and it took him like a few years to find out. So whatever happens in bedrooms in Malfoy Manor, shall remain between them.
Andromeda takes after her grandmother Irma, both in bed and out of it. Ted is her boy toy. He does whatever she asks, and they both enjoy it a lot.
Regulus, the little repressed freak, once he finally gets to have sex, he lets loose, and then he feels guilty for it, because he considers whatever he did as something beneath a man of his station. Orion should have really paid more attention to him, but he was also very young when Orion died, so they didn't get to have fun sex talk like Sirius got. He's so allergic to feelings and affection, he enjoys impersonal sex the most. Regulus only knows to accept love and give it back with his mother and his brother, no one else.
Sirius is- well, we know Sirius. Because of the way he was raised and all the shit he got from his mother about liking boys, he does have certain unhealthy behaviours. He adheres to the strict gender roles when it comes to sex, so when he's with a woman, he must always be in charge. That doesn't mean he isn't adventurous, but only as long as he has control. Even when he first gets with Voldemort, he unconsciously puts Voldemort in the 'woman's role' in his head. It takes a while for him to get comfortable, and he's lucky Voldemort is a very patient dude. Obviously, after that happens, we can see Sirius definitely has some sort of Daddy kink. Not that he'd think of it like that, nor would the word 'daddy' ever be uttered while he has sex with Voldemort, but he enjoys being taken care of by an older, powerful man. He also has a big praise kink, so there's that.
He's into different things in bed, depending if he's with a man or a woman. And while he did have plenty of mindless one night stands, I think he is most satisfied when he has a deep connection with his partner. He's desperate for affection, for a true connection, even if he was also afraid of having a bond like that. It's why he tried to distance himself from Marlene, even if he wanted her, because he was simply afraid of growing too close.
You never harass me with questions! I love the questions, especially because they make me think of my lovely Blacks and their mysterious lives. ❤️
#it runs in the blood#sirius/voldemort#sirius black#orion/walburga#orion black#I think about these people way too much#their sex life is as messy as everything else about them
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continuing to process the new WoT trailer: analysis phase
For all that it feels like there was SO MUCH!!! in the new trailer, it actually seems like it was limited to a relatively small amount of scenes when I look at it more closely.
The main focus of the trailer is Moiraine's visions and we go back to that again and again, with only hints of what else might be happening.
So while the trailer is epic in feel, it's relatively narrow in scope, which I think is good. That spoils a lot less.
First, I'll pull out all the shots that I think are based on "Moiraine's vision" (again, that I am currently assuming will come from the orb that she ponders, but I could definitely be wrong about that!).
a. The Visions
Moiraine lying face-up in the sand; Moiraine cradling and using the Orb; Moiraine lying in the dirt and opening her eye; Moiraine standing with the rising sun; Moiraine flailing around upside down; Rand dramatically dying from a sword wound; Lanfear strangling Moiraine (in bed and in the desert); Lanfear using the Power to slice Moiraine's neck; the shadow!mains in the Ways (as the new Forsaken?) with Lanfear, hunting down maybe Moiraine; Rand in the fancy makeup may also belong here; and then Moiraine telling this to Lan
So... Moiraine touches this orb (maybe) and gets a bunch of visions of all the ways that she can die, or that Rand can die, or that Rand can potentially turn evil (thrilled that we went with the whole Main Six turning evil and joining Lanfear and Moghedien, as it lets them do a little shot of them all getting to be their most evil and hottest selves). I do suspect that we will get Moiraine yeeting herself along with Lanfear into the doorway at the end of this season, and this trailer makes me feel that way even more.
b. Rand in the Waste
We also have the Rand goes to the Waste section, which includes: standing at the cusp of Rhuidian; Lan in the desert; Rand walking through the glass columns and seeing a vision of Janduin finding Shaiel (various shots throughout); Rand and Lan training together; people walking in the Waste; Rand and Moiraine talking to the Wise Ones; the tree in Rhuidean; what is likely Rand with Couladin (someone with better eyes than me thinks that the other man with him in those shots has dragons on both his arms); Rand carrying Moiraine (out of Rhuidean, is my guess)
This is all pretty much similar to what we know about his plotline from the books except for (alas) it does seem like Mat is snipped out of the plotline, which is very heartbreaking, though it has been rumored to be the case for a while.
c. Chaos in the White Tower
We have the Probably White Tower section: The three statues of ladies; Liandrin with her BA squad; two women speaking in the Hall of Servants; Nynaeve in the White Tower; Egwene beginning her Accepted Test; Alanna and Liandrin's fight that destroys some pavement and probably gets one her Alanna's Warders killed; Galad training at the White Tower; Moghedien talking to Liandrin
This is the plotline where I most worry about time-crunch, lol. Okay, so we are likely to start with Liandrin & her fellow BAs escaping the White Tower. Alanna and her Warders try to stop them, and one of them gets killed, setting Alanna up for what she will likely pull in s4.
The Wondergirls return to the White Tower and... I guess lie their asses off. Making Siuan the one who was the threat to Rand last season really complicates the return to the White Tower for me, so I guess we'll see what happens there. I will not venture any guesses at this time.
So in that case, it seems likely that Egwene is going to meet Gawyn and Galad at the White Tower, like she does in the books. There's one shot of her with Rand in what might be the Waste but might be her visiting him in the Waste via TAR; and I couldn't spot her in any other Waste-related shots. But I can't imagine that she'll stay in the White Tower when the other girls go to Tanchico? So maybe she will go to the Waste at some point? idk, like I said, the timeline here is the one that seems most likely to be vulnerable to weird amounts of crunch because there is just so much to do and so much travel time required to bounce around to all those places.
d. Everything Else
Single shots that seem unrelated to the previous themes: Moiraine in the rain; Elayne in white and putting on a crown; Egwene and Rand potentially in the Waste together; Lanfear and Rand nuzzling at some point; Lanfear being annoyed in TAR; Rand's power explosion (I think this is pre-Waste); Blacksmithing; One shot of Min walking away; Mat in a dark place with new clothes and a neck injury; Moiraine and Siuan kissing; Perrin being kissed (by Faile?); Actually Elayne in a very different outfit than normal, so maybe Tanchico; Egwene in TAR; Perrin fighting in the Battle of the Two Rivers
Basically, we get tiny reminders that other people exist and have plotlines: Elayne exists! Egwene and Rand share some screen time! Rand is still dealing with power issues! Min exists! Mat exists (with a neck wound)! We're reminded of the Moiraine & Siuan and Rand & Lanfear romances; Perrin gets to kiss someone (almost certainly Faile) and he's gonna be in a fight. But we don't get any context for any of that like we do with the first three plotlines that the trailer touches in more detail.
#wot#wheel of time#wot on prime#wot s3 spoilers#wheel of time s3 spoilers#wot s3 speculation#wot speculation#wot book spoilers#the shadow rising#the fires of heaven
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New Dragons Rising Article!
(EDIT: I blurred out the episode title last minute. I was feeling paranoid about it. Lol. And I made some last minute grammer fixes. Enjoy!)
The episode titles and descriptions for Season 2 Part 2 just dropped today! There's TONS of new info and lore to unpack. So let's get started! *SPOILERS BELOW THE THE CUT!*
1: So first off we have The Shape of Motion. (This title is clearly parodying The Shape of Water. Lol.) It seems they will be picking up a new baby dragon! Riyu is gonna be a big brother! How cute!💖 I hope Arin finds his parents too. Poor guy.😔
2: Now we have Enter the City of Temples. The Ninja must have found out about the tournament and decided to go there. But why? We're not sure yet. I would think they would want to stay away from the tournament, considering what happened in the last one.😅 Also, Kai and Bonzle are attempting to escape. So that's cool! You guys will get to see them too!
3: Next is Gathering for The Feast. Some how I get an ominous feeling about that title for some reason. Lol. Also, looks like the Ninja's earned their invites somehow and are now in the tournament! And it looks this is the episode where we'll see the return of some old Elemental Masters!
4: Now we have Inside the Maze. This episode is VERY interesting. So much to unpack! Because it's the first mention of some new artifacts. The Horns. Specifically, The Dragon Horns. Arin and the others must have heard about them in the last episode. What are these horns exactly? Are they like instrument type horns? Or literal dragon horns? We'll have to wait and see. We also have a new character called Frak! And finally, something ALL you Jaya shippers have been waiting for...
JAYA TOURNAMENT BATTLE WITH AMNESIA JAY!!!⚡🌊⚡🌊⚡🌊⚡🌊⚡🌊⚡🌊
This is gonna break y'all hearts, I know it.🤣
5: Next is United We Fall. Oh boy! It's named after one of my favorite TSFH songs! Haha! Just kidding! Anyways, poor Wyldefyre is pitted against CINDER?!?! The guy who broke her leg?! Yikes! Looks like it didn't go well either. And the Ninja will have to win they way back into the tournament through a race!
6: Now we have Truth and Lies. Finally a Wu mention! But it doesn't look good. I have a feeling Ras is lying though. Or not. And we'll get some racing action from the rest of the ninjas!
7: Next is The Shattering Sword. Sounds like something from Lloyd's vision, huh? And we get to see the new character Roby giving Arin a museum tour and some new info on the source dragons! (It would be hilarious if Roby was working for Ras the entire time.😂) And here's how to pronounce Roby's name, if you're curious.
8: Next is Clues and Suspects! Tons of cool stuff in this episode! Roby has a way bigger role then I thought! There's a new character mentioned named Bleckt? (I wonder if that's a typo?) Also, FINALLY A ZEATRIX MENTION! And they're transferring her powers for some reason? The how and why are unclear. Also, this new character Bleckt is somehow connected to Arin's investigation. And possibly part of The Administration, since they mention he has an office. My guess is that these Dragon Horn thingies were confiscated by the Administration or something.
9: And here we have The Final Game. That doesn't sound good. Arin learns a "Devastating Secret about the Merge" Uh oh. Cole stays behind to protect the Dragon horns! What??? Oh no! Sora faces off against Nokt and Wyldefyre is too late to stop the "Manipulation of the Games!" OH NO. Yeah, this one is gonna be pretty chaotic. Yikes.
10: Finally, we have Elements of Betrayal. THAT'S AN EVEN WORSE TITLE! It's making me more nervous than the last one!
There's a new location called The Monastery of Gates. That I guess these Dragon Horns are at? Arin, Zane, and Cole seems like a fun combination. Should be a cool fight! And it looks like the elemental masters have lost their powers once again are going to be fighting Ras and his wolf warrior army. NoBoDy SaW tHaT cOmInG. Pfft.
Aaaaaaand, that's it for now. Wow! So much stuff! Sounds like it will be a very exciting collection of episodes! Hope you had fun reading this!
Bye for now!
#ninjago#lego ninjago#ninjago lego#ninjago dragons rising#lego ninjago dragons rising#lego ninjago spoilers#ninjago spoilers#dragons rising spoilers#ninjago leaks#Ninjago dr#Dragons Rising#Dragons Rising ninjago#My writing#Inky's Notes#My art#lloyd montgomery garmadon#Arin Ninjago#Ninjago arin#lloyd ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon#sora ninjago#Ninjago Sora#Wyldefyre Ninjago#ninjago wyldfyre#lord ras#Ninjago Ras#ras ninjago#ninjago dr spoilers
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Cove isn't the stepdad, he's the dad who stepped up, Part 3
A third part (lol) to a story in which Baxter gets you pregnant during his summer in Sunset Bird and then ghosts you. You eventually get together with Cove and fall in love and you're getting maaarried, but Baxter is the wedding planner and isn't that awkward?
Here, you get into the planning process and wouldn't you know it, there are some hiccups with this massively uncomfortable plan.
Part 1 here aaaaaand Part 2 here
When it came to you, Cove was accommodating to a fault -- to the point where you're pretty sure you could murder somebody and he'd say, "Well, I'm sure you had your reasons."
That's why it wasn't a surprise to you that when you had a heart-to-heart on what to do about Baxter, he was comfortable leaving everything entirely up to you.
"I trust you," he said simply. "I'm with you with whatever you want to do."
And then, after you'd called the main office where Baxter worked and they'd told you that it was wedding season, they didn't have anyone else available and you wouldn't get your deposit back if you broke your contract now, he was just as understanding.
"Look," he told you quietly, keeping an eye on Dylan playing with his soccer ball as he stroked your back. "We can make it work. We always do. He can be our wedding planner ... or if you want, he can be more."
"What do you mean?"
Cove paused, scrunching up his mouth a bit, then said, "Like if you want him to meet Dylan. If you want him to know him. That's ok if you want that."
You groaned, but when your son looked up at you curiously, you put on a smile for him.
"I'll just see if he'll still be our planner, I guess?" you said. "Not really loving the idea of losing the deposit."
He laughed and squeezed your shoulder.
"It'll be fine, I'm sure of it."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A couple of days later, the two of you were back at Baxter's office, waiting for him to show up for your appointment. You'd texted him, all business, and he agreed to go forward with the planning without another word about Dylan.
You were starting to think that this may actually work out as you sat by Cove on the couch, giddily whispering about your wedding, but when Baxter came in the room, it was almost like all the air left when he closed the door behind him.
"Hello again," he said curtly, sitting in his desk chair without meeting your eyes. "Are we ready to get things underway?"
"Yeah," Cove answered, then glanced over to you. You nodded.
"Very well," Baxter said, then leaned over to his desk to grab a notepad and a pen. "I have a series of questions to ask you about your plans for the ceremony, we can take care of that today, when we'll go from there if that sounds agreeable."
He was definitely holding you at arm's length, which was fine. But every now and then, you could tell how much that pained him.
Like when he brought up the topic of surnames, and Cove explained that he wanted to take yours so he could share a last name with you and Dylan, that earned a barely perceptible bristle.
Or when your soon-to-be husband described proposing to you on the beach in your old neighborhood -- you caught his hand shaking slightly when he took a quick break from taking notes to smooth out his jacket.
"One of the services I offer for my clients is dance lessons leading up to the reception," Baxter explained at one point. "It's a bit of an edge I offer over competitors, if I'm being honest, but I do understand if you'd rather not --"
"We'll think about it," you told him, cutting him off before he could actually say how awkward things were, and he nodded.
"About the dance though," Cove began, looking at you pointedly.
"Hmm?" Baxter asked.
Knowing where Cove was going, you put your hand on his leg and spoke up for him.
"We want to have our son come in for the first dance, towards the end," you said. "And we want him to stand with us during the ceremony too."
Baxter did look at you then, really looked for the first time that day. Again you were taken aback by how much of Dylan you saw in his face, how your little boy's eyes were a perfect match for the ones staring at you now.
"Charming," he said shortly, looking back down at his notes. "I would advise then bringing him to a rehearsal so you all can get a feel of what that would look like."
"He'll do great," Cove said, almost defensively.
"I'm sure he will."
When Baxter got all the information he needed -- or when the room got too stifling to bear, you weren't really sure what came first -- he stood, bringing an end to the meeting. He offered his hand to Cove, who looked at it for a moment before accepting the handshake. He then held the same hand up to you.
He had a tiny little mole low on this wrist, you saw. You couldn't remember if you'd noticed it back then, but Dylan had one in the same spot.
You shook his hand, not expecting it to be as hot as it was.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And that's how the next few planning sessions with Baxter went. They were never exactly comfortable, but they got a little less weird, and you always found a sitter for Dylan. Whenever you had to speak with Baxter over text messages, you both kept things strictly business. Beyond that first day, there was no mention of the little boy that bonded you together.
The wedding kept creeping closer and closer, and one day, about a week before the big day, Cove brought up a difficult subject while you were washing dishes together after dinner. Your son was off for a sleepover in Sunset Bird -- a preliminary sort of thing to get him ready for the few days you and Cove would be gone for your honeymoon -- and you had to admit, the whole thing felt a little orchestrated.
"So, I've been thinking," he began, then trailed off.
"Is that the whole story?" you teased.
He gave you a playful glare, then cut right to the chase.
"I think it would be a good idea to have dance lessons. With Baxter."
"Huh?" was all you could manage.
He rinsed the last dish and set it in the drainer, then wiped his hands on his pants and turned to lean against the counter and look at you.
"It'll probably be awkward, I know that," he said. "But ... it's our wedding. I can handle an awkward dance lesson so I don't look dumb when we dance together."
"You wouldn't look dumb," you said quickly -- you were fast to defend you darling soon-to-be husband against anyone, even himself.
"I really would."
You took a moment to gather your own thoughts, drying your hands on a dish towel. You wanted Cove to have the dance lessons if he wanted them, of course, but you couldn't figure out a good way to explain how it made you feel to think about either of you spending extra time with Baxter.
"It's not just that it would be awkward," you said finally. "It's just such a complicated kind of dynamic, you know? What if he wants to know about Dylan? What if he asks to meet him?"
Instead of answering, Cove surprised you again with "I think you should take a dance lesson too."
This time, a "huh" wouldn't even come out of your gaping mouth.
"You don't have to if you don't want to, obviously," he said, moving to take you in his arms. He pulled you close to his chest and rested his chin on top of your head. "I won't either if you don't want me to."
"Where's this coming from?" you asked.
"I just think ... we're about to be married. Forever. And I don't think it's a good idea to leave anything unfinished."
You pulled back to look at him, bewildered and a little bit mad, if you were being honest.
"Cove, things between me and Baxter have been finished for a long time," you said. "You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know, I don't mean like that," he told you, cool and confident enough that you didn't have trouble believing him. "I just mean for Dylan. I know it's hard, but you need to talk to Baxter about him. What if when I try to adopt him he fights it? What if he tries to go to court or something?"
You hadn't thought about all of that.
"We should just get it out of the way, I think," he continued. "So we can move on without having to worry about it."
As much as the idea bothered you, he had a point.
Later that evening, Cove held your hand, and you texted Baxter that you'd be taking him up on those dance lessons after all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baxter had planned it so that both you and Cove could have individual lessons with him the same day -- he'd work with Cove in the afternoon for a few hours, then you'd come in in the evening.
When the day came, you dropped Cove off at Baxter's office building, then you and Dylan were off to run errands. Later, while you were taking your lesson (and maybe having a heart-to-heart with your ex-boyfriend days before you got married), they were planning on a visit with Derek.
"Mommy, is it almost time for the big cake?" Dylan asked as you pushed him in a cart through the grocery store, stocking up on a few snacks you needed for home.
"Almost, baby," you told him -- the concept of a wedding wasn't very interesting to the four-year-old, but the big cake? Yeah, that was worth a countdown.
"Is Daddy gonna sneak me a big piece?" he asked next, obviously not very concerned about the concept of sneaking, either.
"Probably, yeah."
Your son smirked proudly at that, and you felt a little tug on your heart.
Baxter disappearing at the end of your summer together was hard, having his child while he wouldn't even answer your calls was harder. But having this precious little boy that you loved more than life itself sporting that smug smirk that his biological father probably could have patented?
Well, that was a special kind of difficult.
When you drove back to Baxter's office building to switch off with Cove, you found felt anxiety begin to really gnaw at you. You tried to put it aside as he hopped in the passenger seat for a moment and turned around to greet Dylan, but Cove knew you better than anyone.
"It'll be all right," he told you softly. "We'll be back before you know it."
You looked at the clock. Time to go.
After telling Dylan goodbye, you got out of the car to switch places with Cove. He hugged you and gave you a kiss on the forehead and told you he loved you, almost like you were going off to war.
It wasn't that dramatic, but it did sort of feel like it.
You made your way to the room where Baxter had told you to go -- he'd given you directions and they weren't difficult to follow. You came to a set of doors, pushed them open and saw him standing by himself in a large room, looking over some papers.
"Hey," you greeted softly, your anxiety only growing.
"Hello," he replied. He gave you a small smile you could tell was genuine, if not a little nervous -- a good sign, at least.
Without further discussion, he pulled a remote out of his pocket and turned on a stereo system somewhere in the room. A slow song started playing, and he wordlessly offered you his hand.
All at once, it was like you were transported five years back in time. You were 18, didn't have a care in the world, and a weird but adorable boy had moved in across the street for the summer and stole your heart in the process.
It wasn't that you wanted to be with Baxter -- Cove was the love of your life, you'd never been as sure about anything as you were with that. And you wouldn't take back the little family you'd created together for anything.
You just wished that parts of it -- like this part right now, reconnecting with Baxter -- weren't so hard.
You took his hand, and he pulled you closer, placing his other hand on your back. You put your free hand on his shoulder, and away you went.
After a few moments of not-so-comfortable silence, you asked, "So how did Cove do?"
"Splendidly," he answered, looking up from your feet to look you in the eyes. "You're very lucky. Both you and your son."
And there it was.
"Why did you have to leave like that?" you asked, the question out of your mouth before you really had a chance to fully process what you'd said.
He took in a shaky breath and you felt his body tense, but he answered. It was more of the self-flagellating insecurities you remembered him being filled with back then -- he didn't want to be important in your life, he didn't think he was. He thought that he could have a nice fun summer with you and that it wouldn't matter to you if he left without a trace.
You'd hated it then, and you hated it now, but this time there was an extra layer to it.
"I honestly don't know what I would have done if I'd known ... about him," he said, moving you around the room as a bit of an afterthought. "I've been thinking about it, and I'm not sure. Part of me likes to believe I would have stepped up as Cove did, but Cove is a far better man than I am. So if it's any consolation at all, I do believe I would have failed you both either way."
"It's really not," was all you could think to say.
"Yes, I didn't suppose it would be. Still, I'm left wondering, as I'm sure you are, where do we go from here?"
You looked at him deeply. It was a good question.
"You're going to meet him, I guess," you said. "At the rehearsal at least, or at the ceremony."
"I've thought about that," Baxter admitted. "I won't do anything you're uncomfortable with, of course. I do find myself interacting with children when they're involved with the ceremony, but ... if you don't want me to speak with him, I will respect that."
Tears sprung to your eyes at the thought -- you knew that since Dylan was going to be in the ceremony, he'd at least come into contact with the wedding planner. But seeing everything come together like this, being faced with the reality of it all, was even harder than you'd anticipated.
"He doesn't know anything about you," you told him. "He doesn't know that Cove isn't ... he's his dad, that's not ... he doesn't know that there's anything to know, I guess is what I'm trying to say."
You'd meant to clear the air with Baxter -- to actually talk about things, really talk about them, and settle them once and for all. But instead, you found yourself dancing around an empty room with him, crying while he held your hand a little too tightly.
#our life beginnings and always#olba#olba mc#our life#baxter ward#cove holden#olba cove#olba baxter#our life cove#our life cove holden#cove x reader#baxter x reader#baxter x mc#cove x mc#cove holden x you#cove holden x mc#cove holden x reader#olba baxter ward#our life baxter#baxter ward x you#baxter ward x reader
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No one likes syringes!
Summary : You gotta take your weekly syringe but you're afraid of needles so how can these mfs (Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, Aku, Chuuya) convince you to take it 🤷
Genre : bit cracky and fluff, prob lots of teasing bc u know who tf im talking about 💀
Warnings : heartattacks bc we all simp too hard for these men 🛐 maybe a bit of suggestive themes at the end
A/N : managed to inject myself for the first time (aint no drugs, need them bc HEALTH) and bro, my hands r still shaky bc fear 😭 how do ppl do this so easily 💀 also the syringe is like a pen (also for this story) but broo its still scary and i need some bsd character comforting me 😩✋✋
Dazai Osamu
Lets say yall live together and hes at work while u r home alone
cant bring yourself to do it alone bc bro syringes are scary (even if its just a pen bc NEEDLES BRO) 😩😭
So you text him and ask what hes doing and tell him if hes got time to come home asap bc we r nearly crying at this point
hes gonna be SO ANNOYING like "i was just waiting for a text from you~ dont worry, your knight in shining armor will save you"
BROO he prob knew that you gotta take them today and also knew that nothing would be going on at the agency so he couldve stayed at home but nah 😭😭 (sadistic a** fr fr)
but hes still hurrying nonetheless bc hes not that MEAN -right???-
arrives at home and finds you on the couch holding the pen with shaky hands and his heart does feel a TAD bit guilty bc fr he couldve stayed at home and u would have gotten this shit over asap
gon be all like "dw im here now, okay? Lets just get this over with and then we'll cuddle, how about that?"
homegirl is about to cry at this point bc just FREE HER from this misery
sits next down to you and takes the pen from your hands
If you do wanna try it out yourself, he'll gently guide you through it
He knows how afraid you are and teasing would just make you sob instantly bc the pressure is already too much to deal with YEAH U BETTER STFU U TEASE !! jk still love him
will try to change your mind tho by sayinf stuff like "Really? ~ i mean its brave and good of you to try it yourself but I really love helping you, you know. Want to do everything for you, darling." he knows EXACTLY what hes doing to us by saying that
Is prob gonna give us that look and whisper in our ear and shi im sorry im too down bad for this man at this point 😩
if you dont wanna do it yourself then, he'll tell you to look at him while hes pressing the pen onto your thigh or stomach
You still cant keep your eyes off of it? Sry girl, theres only one solution
He'll just click his tounge at you while having that fking smirk on his face as he says "still too distracted, I see? Well seems like theres only one way to help you"
gives you a kiss on the lips and just deepens it while looking STRAIGHT into your eyes got my knees weak for him fr
you only feel a tiny sting and as soon as a "click" is heard, he'll break the kiss and just grins at you as if he didnt trick you lol
but who are you to complain, he sees that you liked it and will def comment on that
"see, love? Wasn't so hard after all. But you still did well. Proud of you as always"
pecks you on the lips again before setting the pen onto the table and wraps his arms around your waist bc NO WAY in hell is he gonna let go after that
"i think i deserve a reward for that~" "you said you were waiting for a text so you KNEW i had to do it today, right?" ".... welp, not gonna apologize on that 🤷🤷🤷"
u can understand why kunikida has to SIGH all the time as soon as dazai opens his mouth but oh well, you're too whipped to care about at this point
wont let you go so guess you'll have to reward him 💅 no ones complaining LOL
if you tell him to help you next time before hes gone for work, he'll def do it bc he loves u but poor kunikida gotta expect him arrive at work late more often bc he wont leave home without rewards 🛐
Kunikida Doppo
You already know that he got the exact day, hour, minute and SECOND written down on when you gotta take your pen
You tell him that the day is enough and that the time doesnt matter but NOO 😤 YOU WILL take it at the exact time
If its at ungodly hours like 3am or smth, bro he'll wake you up like no mercy for his schedule 😭
If u complain to him tho then dw he will rearrange it for u bc he may love to stick to his plans but he wont ignore your needs and stuff either get urself a man who takes care of u like that 😤😤
will prefer to do it before work, so if you're not an early bird then he'll wake u up but dw you'll get a forehead kiss and bro's already fully dressed n' stuff BUT waking up to him looking at you with such a loving gaze will make u forget that its 5-6am or smth 😩
will first let you get up in peace and make u some calming tea bc he knows what will come next ✋
"Y/N, I know you don't like it but you have to take your pen today, okay?"
if we start a tanthrum then he already knows about it like bro's prepared for everything!!
"Kuni, do we really ha-" "Yes." "But you know I dont li-" "Yes and yes. I know you hate it but don't worry, I've already written everything down on how to do it and what to be aware of so its okay to feel afraid but don't worry because I'm here. Nothing will happen and I've already bought your favorite snacks so you'll feel better but dont eat too much of it when I'm gone. "
u already know he spent a night or smth just researching everything about it as soon as you told him
prob even went to a library and once came back home with multiple books in his hands, hes THAT dedicated UGH I LOVE HIM 💕
you could just sob rn bc how did the earth bless you with this man KUNIKIDA I NEED U 😭😭😭
If the pen is kept in a fridge then dw he already put that shit out for it to not be cold anymore (prob counted the minutes and seconds LOL)
he'll sit you down on the bed or couch, disinfect the place on where you'll take it (lol that sounds WRONG) and he'll give you a peck on your forehead before asking if you're alright and ready to go through with it bc no way in hell is he gonna do it while you're too shaken up for it
If you wanna try to do it alone then he'll take your hand into his as you're grabbing the pen, slowly guiding it while praising you for how brave you are for trying this and that hes proud of you IM SOBBING
will also tell you to look at him if you get more afraid by seeing it on your skin
Honestly even if you dont wanna do it yourself, he'll make sure to be there and will praise you every time you get through with it bc you KNOW he means it
Honestly makes you tear up everytime and u just wanna kiss this man fr
you thank him and tell him how glad you are to have him, he'll be smitten even more than he already is
Cup his face with your hands and kiss him bro's gonna find it really difficult to not stay at home and just be in your arms
at the end of the day, his love for you exceeds his ideals so he wouldnt mind arriving at work some minutes later if he gets to have you in his arms for a bit longer
Will arrive at work with such a good mood that hes prob gonna freak dazai out with it especially when he overlooks some dumb remarks from him the power of love YALL but who can blame him, his heart is thumping louder than dazai's rambling LOL
maybe yall will continue when hes back home, who knows 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐
Nakajima Atsushi
when you told him about the pen for the first time, he was literally thrown off like "wait, so you have to.... stab yourself regularly with that?????"
hes just SO precious bc his heart's squeezing at you asking him if he could help u bc you just feel so comfortable and just knowing that makes him SWOON
But at the same time hes panicking bc HOW CAN HE DO THAT WITHOUT HURTING U
Ngl hes prob also afraid of needles and stuff 😭 is gonna look at u like the pic above LOL
will ask yosano or even recommend that she should do it but you're like "NO!! im sorry, tsushi but im too scared of her and i feel safe with u :(((("
you got him WHIPPED and DEDICATED bc he'll def research that shit through and through
Will ask his coworkers (prob kunikida) how to best handle the situation
has everything ready but will stumble and be kinda hastily about it at first bc hes prob even more nervous than you are 💀
either it implifies your fear more or its just so ridiculous that you're legit like "ily but im not gonna die or smth 🤨🤨🤨" you cant blame him tho 😤
hes gonna be all like "OKAY OKAY, we got this. No, I GOT this s-so no worries, okay?" bro, BREATHE. Hes just about to pass out at this point jk jk
if you decide to try it out alone, he'll be a bit saddened bc does this mean you dont want him to help you after all?? :(( was he not good enough of a choice to be of help :((( TSUSHI STFU ILY
dw just reassure him that you obviously appreciate his help and still need him to be there bc no way in hell can u do it alone without ur hubby
will tell you everything he had learned about the pen and how to use it with a bit of a tremble in his voice but he pulls through with it!!
You manage to do it and BOY get ready for a rant on how proud of you he is
will want to pamper you with kisses on ur face "tsushi, i know that look. Go ahead and do it, dont hold back" "really, y/n!!?" "😩 bro do it ok" will try to hold back with gluing himself onto you but how can he NOT
If u dont wanna do it urself then it will prob go like this:
its time for yk what and he sees the genuine fear in your eyes but dw he got you
hes prob gon be like "my s/o need me rn and i have to help them!!!" hes actually gonna remember everythinf he looked up and prob memorized for you bc hes AN ANGEL will put his forehead against yours and tell you to look at him "i wont let anything hurt you and happen to you. You're afraid and honestly im afraid too but you and i will get through this, okay?" gives you the most lovestruck smile ever before he looks down and counts to three
"breathe in, y/n. It will be okay" he ignores his slightly trembling hands and at the count of three inserts it. GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER📸📸📸
as soon as yall hear a click, he quietly counts to three before pulling it out and BROO the relief is refreshing af
"WE DID IT, Y/N!!!" Is hella giddy bc how can he not be proud of the both of you!!!! You did it!!! will honestly pull you in a hug bc hes just so happy
prob gonna realise that he just did it without asking u and will be sheepish all like "o-oh sorry, i just got too excited" "no tsushi. We should be happy about this so dont let go!!" no need to say it twice bc hes gonna wrap his arms even tighter around you and nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck ILL GIVE U A KISS TSUSHI 🛐🛐
will he feel bad for arriving at work a bit later? Maybe but a scolding from kunikida wont hold him back from holding you for a tad bit longer
He'll be a bit less nervous for the next times and it will surely decrease with each time bc practice yk but will obviously still hold you until he made sure that you're feeling okay afterwards
Akutagawa Ryuunosuke
Bro's nearly flabbergasted bc why are you making such a FUSS 🤨🤨 im sry dont sue me
"Calm down, you idiot. It's only a pen. You dont even SEE the needle."
dont ask him why hes staying with you if its JUST a needle then bc bro will prob just straight up get up and leave if you point it out 💀
will prob be the first to not even suggest but just TELL you to do it yourself aku im hurting over here 😩
will prob make an effort in atleast roughly skimming through a website about it prob smth weird like wikihow LMAO
If he does see you how afraid you really are of it, hes rly trying his best to ignore the small ache its giving his heart bc he takes no pleasure in witnessing u be so afraid✋ its still JUST a pen in his eyes at the end of the day lol
will just sigh and snatch that shit from your hands bc he cant bear to see you like this any longer are we looking that pitiful, probably LOL
But he'll be surprisingly soft with his touch, nearly just ghosting you with his hands is that even a term, nvm yall know what i mean
Hes just gonna be straightforward with it bc the faster its over the better. He wont admit that he just wants to help but cant convey it bc what even are feelings 🤷
He'll tilt your chin towards him and just say "Look at me, Y/N. Stop overthinking it. You won't get hurt from this stupid thing, okay? If smth does happen, I'll just destroy the factory thats making this."
You dont know if hes joking to lighten the mood or if hes serious bc its aku
But hes prob joking
anyway hes gonna ask you like smth rly random like "What do you wanna eat later" which will confuse you but you'll answer nonetheless bc hey hes initiating a convo!!
as you start to talk and he notices you're relaxed enough for him, welp yk whats happening
Actually makes you wince a bit bc it just caught you off guard
"Ryuu, what the f-?!" "Just bear with it." ok we have been silenced 🛐
yall hear the click of relief, he counts in his mind to three and quickly pulls that shit out
you're slightly trembling from relief from finally getting it over you and bro just clicks his tounge like "You're such a fool. Cant believe something insignificant like that makes you nearly shit your pants."
you lowkey glare at him for that bc BRO needles r spooky 😭 but dw before you even open your mouth to tell him off, he'll look to the side and say "... You did good for holding that out though... but its still stupid."
just give him a peck on the cheek or smth bc this boy is prob craving some praise after having helped you like that
"Thank you, Ryuu. I couldnt have done this without you. You're the best boyfriend I could ever ask for"
Give him a tight hug, kiss and boom you got him around your finger
he'll take a second to wrap his arms around you and will just hide his face in the crook of ur neck like our other boy tsushi
"Of course, I'd help... I'll still blow up the factory for scaring you like that."
"NO!!" jk he wont if u tell him not to but hes just trying to say he doesnt like seeing u like that we know aku, dw 💕💕
if his coworkers ask why hes arriving a bit later at work, he'll just tell them to shut up and continue with their work
If you look closely you'll see his ears turn a bit pink as he keeps thinking of you and your words 💕💕😭
Nakahara Chuuya
Honestly its gonna be a mix of every reaction possible I think
Like if you tell him about the pen, hes first gonna feel a bit pressured like "O-Oh wait so you want ME to help with it??"
Like no offense hes obviously feeling pretty happy about that you are asking him for help especially for smth important as your health
But he knows hes not the most gentle person and does have his worries that he might accidentally hurt you or smth
wont ask anyone for advice bc its his love of his life can i be that pls that asked HIM so he'll do it at the end of the day!!
but if hes feeling rly unsure then he wont mind slipping a question about it when hes reporting to mori
which means being not subtle at all
"So was that all for today's report of the mission." "Yeah." "Then do you need something or why are you still standing there?" ".... *pulls out a picture of your pen* do you know how to use this?..."
you def know that chuuya's feeling so embarassed that hes asking his BOSS but its a sacrifice hes willing to pay
mori will have mercy on him and tell him what he should be careful of and summarise on how to use it
Will prob throw in a "good luck~" bc how can u not TEASE him
anyway our boy's done his research and now comes the hard part
"Okay, dont panic Y/N." "HOW CAN I NOT WHEN YOU'RE HOLDING IT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA KILL ME" "JUST DONT PANIC, FFS"
dw as soon as he sees you trembling, he'll be softer than a marshmallow
a chuuya one
"Oi, look at me. I'll make sure nothing's gonna happen to you, alright? Will just sting a bit and thats it. Will take care of you after this so you'll forget this ever happened."
HOW CAN U NOT SWOON AT HIM 😩😩
he'll even take off his gloves so you'll be more relaxed if you can feel his skin bro the gloves are giving off doctor vibes in this scenario, will make us panic more LOL
if you really cant keep your eyes off it then well....
"Damn it, love. Stop looking at it." will just press his lips onto you for a second before breaking it and inserting that shi*
"Ch-Chuuya!" "I know, i know. Dont worry, its gonna be over real soon."
And boom thr click is heard and yall are finally done
Honestly his shoulders are gonna relax instantly, boy was tensed up even more than you skskskks but who can blame him
"OMG chuuya we did it!!" "Yeah, you did it, doll." bro's gonna latch onto you again bc that kiss from earlier wasnt enough for the both of u 😩
is it riling yall up? Probably but welp you 're already either shirtless or pantless so only one clothing to pull off less work for yall
Mori's just gonna be like "I see, you managed to get through it" and chuuya just tiltd his fedora down so u cant see his face bc he REALLY wants to ignore that his boss knows whats been holding our boy up cant blame him 🤷🤷🤷
***************
Lol that was WAY too long but honestly this was so good to write 😩 now im just gonna be sad that none of them r here to do it irl but oh welp, will just read more stuff about them ✋💅
#atsushi x reader#chuuya x reader#dazai x reader#akutagawa x reader#kunikida x reader#bsd x reader#bsd dazai#bsd atsushi#bsd akutagawa#bsd chuuya#bsd kunikida#bungou stray dogs x reader
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Hello! I will be doing some short pick a card's to help see if I'm the reader for you! Today we'll be doing a personality reading with my astrology oracle cards. Let's go!
Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)
Decks Used: The Arcana or Astrology, Astrological Oracle Cards, claves astrologicae, astrological dice
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Pile One
Cards: Pallas Athena, Eighth House, Eleventh House, Fourth House, Cancer, Pluto Rx, Sun, First House, Solar Eclipse, Virgo, Capricorn, Eighth, Saturn
So far I’m not really getting *you*, I feel nothing. Not in a bad way, but everything is about other people. Which is funny because I have a video I haven’t started yet about how a character’s transformation throughout a series is through his relationships, which I think is what you offer to others. It’s not a subconscious thing, it feels as if you actively seek to help people or point out issues within relationships or people so they can fix them. You value bonds and community and you like things to be even. However this isn’t just you so let’s dig a bit deeper.
Ah I was just thinking ‘they probably really need to feel comfortable’ just as Cancer flew out. Mmm you might have fourth house placements not necessarily Cancer ones, but it’s just more about being easily...frazzled? Oh you’re difficult to explain lol. It’s not that you’re easily frazzled because you can confront/spot these issues within others and it’s not simple things like ‘oh well did you talk to them’, it’s usually deep wounds that long conversations unearth. However at the same time you’re very simple and a bit introverted? This introversion is mainly because you feel more comfortable around people you know or in places you’re familiar with, but you also make people around you feel comfortable enough to be that vulnerable. I’m doing it again- did you. Pick Pile 2 from my pac fooreeeveerr ago when I couldn’t even focus on you - for what makes you attractive. A lot of your personality is like a guiding light, which is a bit annoying because that’s not really describing you it’s about your effect on others you know. So what I can get from that is...you might hold a lot of stuff in. With Pluto coming out in reverse, because I always take my oracles upright, it feels like struggling to deal with that energy on your own. However you have all of this glowing energy to welcome others so that they can be loved and comforted even though you can’t do that for yourself.
Solar! Oh, are you one of my cardinal siblings?! I would guess signs but whenever I pull this section they never match hehe, but I did guess maybe a Cancer Rising, however that doesn’t add up — I’m rambling. Understanding why I took Perfectionist, you sometimes present yourself as someone who needs to always seem okay. I don’t think it’s physically? It’s more like that Virgo cringe of being wrong or making mistakes or like. Existing, let’s be real lmao. However you are very open to new phases in your thinking or view of the world — which does remind me of when people do room makeovers. Changing their aesthetic for something else? It’s like you sometimes do that with who you are (forgiving of your core values). As I said, this section tends to be people’s view which can sometimes conflict with the first pull, but in this case it can match up because the Eleventh can speak to group integration and the Eighth can be constant transformation, just not in the way people seem to think.
Okay with your last roll you have to have some Cardinal dominance with Eighth house placements lmao, happy Solar Eclipse! Really the only thing to add is that you might be a bit restrictive with how you express/present yourself? As in you overthink or you feel like you’re not allowed to do certain things because you didn’t suffer enough for it? Unfortunately problems and emotions will always present themselves regardless of your status, you don’t have to be at a certain level to be frustrated, it’s okay. Also you feel a bit goofy, I hope you’re allowed to let that side out enough.
Songs: Friends – Flight of the Conchords, Girls & Boys – Good Charlotte, Perfectionist – Flash Forward, Drew Barrymore – SZA
Pile Two
Cards: Twelfth House, Hygeia, Last Quarter Moon, Sixth House, Sun, Venus, Jupiter, First Quarter, Seventh House, Uranus, Aries, Eleventh, North Node
Oh? Well, as a side note the cards came out without issue, so there’s a feeling that you know yourself quite well. More than you might realize because I feel like you...there’s a feeling of you making adjustments for yourself without realizing. There’s a house opposition but it feels like it’s working well so far here. In tune with your body and soul, so when something feels off or you’re feeling sluggish, you make adjustments to one portion of your life and you’ll be feeling a bit better the next week. There’s also a pretty forward quality here about you, you don’t pretend to be anything you’re not and you’re down to earth. This first pull can also point to a healing quality about you — the dynamic of the 6th & 12th can usually have someone who ends up working for charities or having a natural ability to help others in some form underneath their daily routine.
I already had a feeling this pile was something else. I don’t know there is a very relaxed energy about your. Even while listening to your first song, it still felt more calm despite the meaning of the song? Considering these are Benefics and The Sun, it’s like you do your best to always look on the bright side of things. I mean yes this can point to overindulging and running away from issues, especially since we got the Twelfth, but I’m feeling more tranquil and like...happy. I’m not getting negativity. So it’s just minding your business and trying to live a peaceful life. Also lowkey spiritual/philosophical, always looking for more.
Not surprised by these cards. Due to your actual energy, you seem very harmonious and pleasant to be around. However looking at these songs I’m getting it’s clear that you’ve experienced connections/situations that weren’t so pleasant. As I mentioned before, you’re someone who prefers to live a happy life, you don’t want to stay in negative places. It’s reflected in these cards that you’re very determined to move on and live the life that you want. From the perspective that you might’ve just had the worst thing happen to you and you’ve moved on next week, it can seem a bit perplexing to others haha.
Oh! That’s interesting. There is that peaceful energy to you, but due to what you experienced you want to protect others. Not in a sacrificial way, but you want to implement change. You’re not someone who wants to sit around and wait to protect after the incident has occurred. Very passionate, possible leader material, and so much care to those around you and the community that you could foster. I absolutely love your energy.
Songs: Best of You – Foo Fighters, When the Day Met the Night – Panic! At the Disco, Demons – Imagine Dragons, Awake and Alive – Skillet
Pile Three
Cards: Virgo, Sun, Taurus, Hygeia, Sagittarius, Pisces, Cancer Rx
I keep being drawn into the hole on the Sun card. I’m getting nothing else, so I think right now there is some healing that needs to be done to the ego — or identity. To piece this together, it’s like someone is being too self-critical of who they are, and to solve this they need to implement self care because I also got that. That could just be parts of the personality but I’m getting. Nothing. Let me see.
Oh my god I can’t read any of this literally. Sag-Pisces makes me think of Jupiter influence, and could point to avoidance for this particular reason. It feels like being asked what to drink, not knowing what to choose so asking to try everything. Everything feels very flimsy, so either I have a lot of people within this pile or we just need to work on who we are at our core a bit longer which is just what happens in life. Cancer being in reversed is also important, because I never take my oracles that way unless they fly out as such. This signifies a lack of nurturing in some sort. Or the emotions are being pushed to the side. Ego can’t survive without emotion — it’s just a paper bag at that point. It feels more like trying to fit into another archetype or be someone that you’re not? Like following trends as an example. I’m pulling advice for you, one second.
Energy to Embrace: Whale, Oyster, Peacock
Yeah, you have to embrace your own qualities and put them back out into the world. All of these cards show that there has been some damage done, so I can understand that there is some insecurity or fear in doing that, but masking as someone else is not the answer and it’s causing more internal confusion/damage. You have gifts that the world should see. Everyone does. We each have something that no one else can offer, which is why we’re here. Don’t water yourself down just because someone else believes you deserve to be. Work on yourself bit by bit and I hope next time I can see this pile glowing.
**As I was finishing up I realized the first song could be from another point of view towards you and you're the second song, but that might only resonate for a few people**
Songs: Oogie Boogie's Song — Ed Ivory and Ken Page, Read Your Mind – Tayla Parx
Pile Four
Cards: Venus, First Quarter Moon, Cancer, Eros, Libra, Gemini, Cancer, Third House, Seventh House, Virgo, Second, Sagittarius, Uranus
Enjoying the finer things in life and all of it’s pleasures. I’m not really feeling an intense energy besides you starting off with a Britney song but it feels more like...hidden intensity. When pushed you’ll bite back. Besides that pretty calm? You know your worth and you’ve very giving to others. Can be a bit infatuated with the idea of love, but I don’t think it’s too unrealistic or imbalanced. You’re very peaceful but also determined to achieve your goals.
Not all my favorite signs??? So you definitely enjoy interacting with others, definitely flirting with and annoying people as well. I’m still getting a really chill energy despite having these signs hit the table haha. I think you’re pretty sweet, enjoy giving your time to others and would appreciate the same back *most* of the time. You can be sensitive to the energy around you considering we got both Venus and Eros before. I can see the messiness from here but I will look away because it’s funny.
Yeah, relationships are pretty important to you. Doesn’t have to be romantic, just making the connection with others puts a smile on your face. You could also be seen as someone who is really easy to get along with. Another thing is you might be known in your community? Like local, not a big name. I’m not sure why it shot out with that, but 3rd is giving me that your parents talk a lot or they’re very involved, therefore people end up knowing you. You could also be very dedicated to what you do? Maybe not a perfectionist but you take your job or craft seriously? So you could be seen as very intelligent or very gifted due to your ‘spotless’ record haha.
Okay also maybe a bit of a smart-ass because the second I said ‘what the hell is this’ I got the last song — which is basically ‘I do whatever I want’. I don’t think that’s your dominant personality, but as I said before there are times where people test you or think lowly of you and that’s when it comes out. Like ‘ah they’re too spineless to do that’ and then you do it to prove them wrong or just piss them off honestly. With the second house I don’t think it’s money that’s a concern, but more like that items that you have, or the clothes. It’s like how you’re seen and present yourself, which can be counted as valuables because they reflect you. Sagittarius and Uranus are both outspoken and well, you want to make sure you’re noticed sometimes.
Songs: Piece of Me – Britney Spears, OT – John K, Speak — DBMK, ^_^ – CHANMINA
#pick a card#pick a card reading#tarot reading#tarot readings#pac#pick a pile#tarotblr#mysticalcreations
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Ep 29 loose thoughts
Oof, Li Lun's really on his last legs, eh? I do feel sorry for him, but I feel even worse for Bai Jiu - locked up inside his own body, poisoned, forced to ingest human livers, coughing up blood and dying. Can this kid get a break, please.
It's funny to me how ZYC might have figured out ZYZ's ruse because of his top-tier observation skills... or it might have been because he pays *that* much attention to the demon. I guess we'll never know 😅
It's heartbreaking in a way how well ZYZ knows LL, still, after all, and trusts him not to hurt Ying Lei, trusts LL to honor an emotional debt. Also, interesting how even while pointing a sword to ZYZ's throat, ZYC trusts him not to go to certain lengths for his goals... I keep saying this, but- the bonds in this drama! 😭
Is this really the time to walk away without saying anything, ZYZ? (I know, I know. It's so that they can break our hearts more thoroughly real soon.)
Oh okay. So even Wen Xiao doesn't know what exactly is wrong with her - don't you think that's kind of vital info you should've shared, Bai Yan daren? Ngl, I guffawed when ZYZ said, "I searched Wen Xiao's body etc," not sure if it's the translation that's lacking or what, but I'm pretty sure we all had the same thought about how thorough that search was 😝 On a more serious note though, is poison always the most powerful weapon of destruction in cdramas? Like ZYZ has the power to heal stab wounds and vein cuts that would otherwise be lethal, but he can't do shit about poison?
Thanks for explaining why she wasn't there when the gang came back with the scale, I thought it was so weird for Bai Yan to just leave like that when she was supposedly the one to tell them how it works. (Still not sure why it had to be her and not Ying Long or even the princess Longyu herself, but oh well.)
Yes, that's why ZYZ stole the scale. The never ending variations on the trolley problem in this drama (I think I saw someone mention it re the Bingyi cave and then it happened again in ep 28, and now it's happening again)!
"It's hard." And? That doesn't mean it's impossible, right? Bai Yan, *please* speak plainly and in full sentences, because instead of raising tension you're raising my blood pressure.
Ah, of course she would withhold that info if it meant saving her son. ZYC, going straight for jugular lol (gotta love the man, for him restoring the sword means not only getting Bai Jiu back but also saving his own life, and he still would choose not to go through with it if it meant losing ZYZ or, as he just found out, WX.) As a mother, she might have thought of letting her son know who she was when she still had a chance; she might have thought of a contigency plan in case something happened to her. They might have not been in this particular mess now, had *someone* made sure the kid didn't have to resort to making wild guesses, ultimately leading him to be lied to and exploited.
Wow, yeah, okay. I officially dislike both of Bai Jiu's parents now. Also, Bai Yan's words once again reinforce the difference between humans and demons/gods and how they think about time and bonds. ZYC might be a demon now, so technically his lifespan is way longer than human's, and still he might not live long enough to see the next incarnation of the Baize goddess; and even if he could, at this point his concern is the *current* incarnation, thank you very much, whereas BY's looking at the situation from a much wider perspective. Because of course both worlds will be involved. And I'm still with ZYC on this. (Unrelated, but I love Bai Yan's voice. It's not often we get to hear that low of a voice from a woman, and especially not in cdramas, as far as I can tell.)
Oh, fuck off. The fatalism rubs me the wrong way always, and coming from such a supposedly powerful being it's even more grating. (Not for the first time while watching this drama I get a flashback to reading Clamp's "X-1999," the set-up and tone is eerily similar.)
Well I guess I got my wish. Li Lun, you sad little demon possessing a dying child's body, I feel for you and your longing. The white petals around them (white, for death and mourning), oh my heart. The fact that they kept switching the actors throughout his reflections made it even more painful. And then he goes and (indirectly) quotes ZYC, the bit about the lamp kept on for travellers... while Ying Lei can only listen and cry. Oof. Can't help but notice that he still focuses mostly on his own suffering, though... I guess it's fair, for all intents and purposes he still has a mentality of a hurt teenager.
The whiplash I got when he switched to, "if I die, I have to find someone to die with," ouch 🤣 Once a drama queen, always a drama queen, right, LL? Gotta find yourself the grandest stage for your final exit... am I ready to see that? (I adore his character song, btw, even though when I first heard it, it gave me a completely different image of what his character's going to be. Hmm.)
Again, fuck right off, Bai Yan. I kinda wish they showed us more of WX in that scene, but hey, I'll take ZYC's memories, too (probably the first time with a time stamp!). "You must live well." It's like a refrain at this point that they seem to cling to, the worse the circumstances get. And the care between them, I'll never be over the bonds we're being shown in this drama.
I relate to WX so much. Like I get the idea that some things are worth dying for and no one in the gang would hesitate to put their lives on the line. And still, WX wants to live. Staying alive is just as, if not more, difficult as dying. Staying alive while others leave is difficult. Only when you stay alive can you really change the narrative. (Also, can we please *stop* sitting on that goddamn bridge. Why are you even there when ZYC was clearly shown back at the Mount Kunlun? Come to think of it, I just realized that they seem to have completely forgotten about Ying Lei??? And where did PSJ go?)
"How is wanting to live not the right choice?" Funny, coming from you of all people, ZYZ. Will you make the right choice for yourself, then? Thank you, WX. Make him sit on that for a bit... Ngl, I cheered when she tore up that goddamned contract. I don't care if they get to kiss now or no, but I care that he won't have to experience a mild heart attack every time he focuses on his affection towards her. (Because I've never seen him look at her as you would a colleague, so technically his heart should've been acting up nonstop, unless the emphasis was on conscious intent on his part. I'd have to rewatch that ep to see if they actually mention the exact wording.)
Awww look at her boys going "I'll find a way" at the same time! I just hope I'm not gonna cry when their way turns out to be yet another self-sacrificial mission. Interesting, there's a bottle of wine and two cups sitting by ZYC, even though he seems to have been sitting there by himself for quite a while... is it going to be one of those tiny details that become relevant later? (I love how this drama makes me pay attention!)
Oh dear gods, I really hope this isn't what I think it is. ZYC!!!
GODDAMNIT IT IS, HE WENT TO SEE WZY BY HIMSELF, FUCKKKKKK
At this point in the story my sincere wish is that, if nothing else, we *will* get to see WZY dying a slow and horrible death. If *he* survives, I'm throwing this whole drama in the garbage. (Also, somehow I'm not in the slightest concerned about what ZYC's choice might be. I trust him this much.)
Lol the moment Bai Yan mentioned that the fire of the mortal world is not enough to forge ZYC's sword I totally went, "it has to be taken to the Mount Dooooooom!" 🤣
Huh, okay, I didn't expect the ever-burning wood to be necessary for this. That's how we know that we're close to the final boss battle, folks, the quests are getting more and more complex.
"Take it"??? Wait, is it that easy? Oh no, of course not. How did it *not* burn him up after all this time though, was it just chilling in his body without actually doing anything? Other than accidentally hurting LL with it, I don't think we've ever seen ZYZ use it in any way, either 🤔 Okay, so he needs the creation stone as well, okay-
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
That's the live reaction of yours truly at *that* visual of golden light blasting from ZYC's sword as he grasps it. Holyyyyyy shit, Guo Jingming, Silmarillion adaptation when????
Oh gods, their hands on that stone. Like in ZYZ's vision. I'm scared again. The image of ZYC morphing into LL and then back again!!! If you want ZYC to promise that he'd protect the Wilderness with you, then *you* better promise not to die, ZYZ! Also, could they be any more queer coded at this point? (Aww, WX, I want to give her a hug so badly. Where the hell is PSJ when you need her???)
I take that back, they can and currently are even more queer coded. ZYZ's face when ZYC prepares his drink for him with yet another jade pendant!!! This whole scene, starting with one of my favorite songs from the OST playing in the background, the soft focus, warm lights, close-ups of their faces, the way they gaze at each other... so beautiful. Of course there had to be some theatrics (ZYZ) and fond exasperation (ZYC) involved, too, that's just how they roll, and I'm eating it alllll up.
Did they *have* to go and draw the parallel to last drink and meal though? 😭 also, also, ZYC doing his best to emphasise that their "blood feud" is in the past! In how many ways does he have to tell you that he wants you to live before you get it, ZYZ?
I also remembered their conversation in ep 15, when ZYC asked how ZYZ could live with contradictions, and boy, is ZYC a walking paradox himself. His feelings seem so tangled and complex, but at the same time he's so clear eyed about them, and able to express them, even while saying that they're ineffable. And ZYZ's response! His face! ::head in hands::
The toasts broke me a bit. The way ZYZ hesitated for the longest time before downing his cup for the first toast. The goddamn *poetry* in ZYC's words, the goddamn eye contact throughout, the goddamn tension, HMH's goddamn face! So good! 😭
!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay you know what? I think I'm getting better at this. There *was* the slight pause before the camera cut to WX and then back to our soulmates (they said it more than once now, I feel justified in using the word for them 😁), I'm gonna wait and see first!
Aw but they're both just so stunning with their hair flying around them lke that. I could watch them forever.
Loved the slow-mo before ZYZ collapsed. Poor WX! That quick shot of her wiping the blood off of ZYZ's chin was so satisfying somehow...
Ahhh I was right, they were in agreement and trying something dangerous together, not against each other! Yay for removing that godawful thing from his inner core, but now what? Are they gonna give it to WZY in exchange for the antidote? Do they actually believe that after all he's done he will play nice??? I love WX, scolding them both like a pair of unruly children 😂
Okay this is getting a little too convenient that they can get eavesdropped on so easily. And not to repeat myself, but where the hell are Ying Lei and PSJ?
I certainly didn't expect to get my wish so quickly lol I guess now we're really down to business when it comes to death countdowns... What did I just say? There is no goddamn antidote! What the fuck did WZY use to create that poison in the first place? The only solution is for someone to use their demonic power to absorb the poison into their own body??? Don't tell me that that's how ZYZ is gonna cure WX. And then ZYC will kill him so that he doesn't suffer. Looking at ZYC, he's about ready to sacrifice himself, though... ::incoherent pterodactyl screeching::
I keep repeating myself, but how is this kid 12. And finally the missing members of the squad reappear! (Just to get the front row, of course.) Oh, oh no. Even though I kinda knew that Ao Yin was going to do this... (I wonder if the poison worked way faster on her because she's a lesser demon?) I can't believe they made me cry over the human livers dealer!
I feel like I said it after every episode so far, but what an episode. I also find it more and more difficult to watch without being tempted to read other folks' commentary first, since I'm so anxious about what's going to happen next; so on one hand, I'd want to be prepared for the worst (so I should spoil myself), on the other though, I want to see what happens with my own eyes first... ah, decisions, decisions.
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Dear Liam,
I'm going to miss you so very much. I'm going to miss opening your snapchat stories, I'm going to miss watching your tiktoks and I'm going to miss hearing your new music. You were such a huge part of my life, even if you never knew me.
I was around 6 years old when what makes you beautiful was released. I live in Canada and One Direction was the only thing every girl in my class talked about. I was wearing one direction pajamas to bed every night and had a 1D backpack just like every other girl my age. However, I wasn't able to fully appreciate everything the band was, I was mainly invested into the singles, and LOVED zayn, especially as a indian girl in western culture.
That is until I was around 12 years old in 2018, where I became a full blown stan. As I learned more about the band, watching every interview and memorizing the entire discography, I imediately fell in love with everything about you (no pun intended). You were always so sweet and funny, which is why YOU, liam, became my favourite. I started getting fully emerged into everyone's solo music, but bedroom floor and strip that down were the songs I played the most.
I was so excited for LP1 to release, I remember staying up all night (no pun intended again), just to be one of the firsts to listen. However, even then I recall everyone hating and comparing your music to the other boys' releases. I didn't care and stood by everything, I remember using the lyrics of 'heart meets break' as a part of my romeo and juliet english presentation in ninth grade LOL.
Then when COVID hit YOU were the only thing keeping me going. I felt completely isolated and lost, but you going on tik tok live, the LP show, the weekly roundups on youtube and everything else you were doing at the time helped me get through it. Every bit of content you released brightened my day, and it gave me something to look forward to ESPECIALLY during those uncertain times. I remember seeing the tik toks you made like wap/wmyb one with abby, or the other one captioned something along the lines of "the meeting after zayn left the band," and i rmr you posting and talking abt Eitan. I remember every tiny detail because of how much it meant to me, and how much I enjoyed your content.
On a lower note, after the logan interview, i rmr distant friends who didnt even listen to 1D text me to debrief the interview, because everyone was hating on you. I however, always defended you to everyone I know. I was truly upset by people who ridiculed you for saying sum along the lines of the band being built around simon's promise to you. Yes I agree everyone in the band is so talented and successful in their own ways, and everyone has come a longg way from then, but I told everyone who approached me abt this that you were probably the most comfortable and strongest vocally during XFactor. You are so so talented Liam, and I have always defended that. I was truly upset by the hatred being sent towards you during that time, and although I missed your regular content during that break, I'm so glad you were able to take some time for yourself.
Fast forward to this year, I was so excited to be signed up for whatsapp updates officially, and thought that was the coolest thing ever!!! I listened to Teardrops as SOON as it was released after waiting forever because this was the start of a new era :). I couldnt wait to hear new music for the first time in a couple of years, the hype with the stickers and everything was also super super cool. The song felt so authentic and I couldnt wait for you to drop a second album. I imagined you'd go on tour next year to promote a new album, but I guess we'll unfortunately never know your plans.
One day when I was opening snapchat stories from my friends as I normally do, I clicked next and stumbled upon a story from you! It was so surprising and shocking, I mean I've subscribed on snapchat to u since I made my account in like 2020, but I've never really seen you POST. Eventually this became a regular thing, the snapchat stories, and I rmr you even posting on your instagram story telling fans to watch the snap content lol. Even up to the days before you unfortunately left us, I would watch those stories over and over because your content has always brightened my life.
I love and appreciate you so much Liam, thank you for everything you've done for us as fans. I hope that one day I will meet you, and that I will be able to thank you for everything. I hope you're happy wherever you are and know that you have always been loved :)
#liam payne#rip liam payne#zayn malik#louis tomlinson#harry styles#niall horan#one direction#remembering liam payne
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Hong Lu: The Vessel Theory
(disclaimer; true to form, long as shit)
Yep. I’m back. This is happening.
I just wanna say first and foremost, I have to give the MOTHER of all shoutouts to Netz (@beanie0bird) for both helping with the theory as a whole and hearing me out throughout its gradual development. He's my Hong Lu expert and I absolutely would not have gotten here without him. ily bestie 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 /p
I should also probably shout out one @lu-is-not-ok, their own Hong Lu theories were a pretty big inspiration for this one and I encourage y’all to check out their posts, they go way more in-depth than I think I’ll ever be capable of lol
OK, theory time. The Vessel Theory at its core is that Hong Lu is, in actuality, some kind of body double or clone of either his original Jia Baoyu 1.0 body, but with 1.0's trademark Jade incorporated into his eye. The idea was essentially brought around so the Jia family could keep their Most Specialest Lil Boy™️ around for forever, and every time a Baoyu 1.0 dies, they make another vessel for his Jade, take the Jade out, put it back in the new vessel, and act like nothing ever happened because they're rich and rich people can just get away with shit like that. My guess as to what Xichun and Wei are doing out and about is that the method used to bring Hong Lu into the world is faulty in some way, which would explain why it goes dim in C7, that's probably a hardware bug of sorts. Either that, or maybe Baoyu 1.0 is starting to deteriorate himself after so many body replacements. It also explains why Hermann roped Jia Huan into her endeavors; the Human Dough from Canto 6 definitely shows Hermann's interest in tampering with the boundaries of mortality in some sense.
The catch is, though, Baoyu 1.0 – his consciousness trapped in the Jade, at least – is still aware of all of this, even though he can't control the bodies he gets inserted into; though I can imagine his vessels can at least feel his presence or thoughts in some quantifiable shape or form. Explains that little "am I the dreamer" monologue from Hong Lu, and why the name of his Canto in other languages can be translated as "All I can do is watch it"; that's all Baoyu 1.0 can do while his consciousness is stuck in the Jade.
Speaking of which, Hong Lu, when he's starting out as the new Baoyu 1.0 vessel, isn't really adjusting super well to the expectations of being the new prodigal son, not to mention the abusive siblings, but Granny's a little nicer to him and reckons "Ah he probably needs to get to know his surroundings a little bit first, tell ya what sonny, you go out and see the world then come back and we'll see how you fare then" and sends the lad on his way. He bumps into Faust at some point. The rest is history. At least, I *think* it's his grandma who gives him the whole sightseeing mission; could be wrong.
Now then, as for what I think this all means for Hong Lu is going, Netz and I had some hiccups piecing this together, I don't think either of us have a concrete grip on the overarching theme of the book ourselves. My prevailing theory is that because the book itself ends with Jia Baoyu 1.0 becoming a monk and isolating himself, and OUR Baoyu 1.0 is already doing that to some degree in the Jade, Hong Lu's arc will be coming more out of his shell and opening up to the Sinners more about his emotions and opinions. He stops living in a dream world where he doesn't have to worry about anything, and can now utilize his experiences in The City to live life beyond the boundaries of what his family wants for him. I also really hope he pushes back against his abusers some, just to bring it all home. Maybe we get the actual Baoyu 1.0 out of his Jade and he takes over for Hong Lu? Maybe Hong Lu has to move on without Baoyu 1.0? Guess we'll just have to find out.
Again, I can't say I have a whole lot of evidence from, say, in-game dialogue or cross-referencing DOTRC to back me up, but then again, I have a Hong Lu expert on speed dial, it's not like I *can't* find anything.
What I *DO* have, however, is EGOs.
Starting with the big one; Land Of Illusion. My hypothesis is that the EGO art is a hyperbolic depiction of Baoyu 1.0 languishing in the Jade, with the rest of the world lying just outside with him now unable to affect it in any way. It also doesn't help that the walls of the room pictured are red; he's literally trapped in a Red Chamber. That's his dream world in the book supposedly; Baoyu 1.0's retreating to his happy place to escape the pressure of always having to be the Most Specialest Jia Ever:tm:. Five Gloom for wallowing in his melancholic solitude, and a Sloth on the side for willfully ignoring his forced responsibilities.
Either that, or it could be depicting Baoyu 1.0 at some point during his FIRST life, before all the body double shenanigans.
The rest of these will be shorter, I promise.
I've seen analyses for Ambling Pearl that describe the Abno as representing "a place made by you and for you," so there's a dead-on hint right there. Can't say I have much else, but at the very least I like how a common theme with the Abno is that it often just gets bored and walks away if you don't directly do anything to it. More on that in a second.
Netz helped me out with Soda; it's escapism for one, and apparently in LobCorp, Wellcheers rewards you for getting good research results on it. That definitely lines up with having to maintain the prodigal son image, at least to me.
Dimension Shredder represents a lot of things, but chief among them to me is a feeling of being lost. It's a little vague, sure, but I can definitely see Baoyu 1.0 not knowing what to do with his life given how he's not in control of it anymore. That, and Hong Lu was *literally* sent to wander around The City to get more used to it. Netz also tells me it represents not being able to keep up a facade, which DEFINITELY scans, although I couldn't tell you how the Abno represents that lol.
Roseate Desire — Rosie, as Netz and I call it — represents Baoyu 1.0's repressed and locked-away emotions, especially given that his mouth is tied up in the EGO art.
Lasso is… fairly loose, all things considered, though I do think there are some ties specifically to the apple from Rose Hunter's encounter. I'm sure we all know what it's implied that apple will become later, and Rose Hunter is actively enforcing that prophecy. An aspect of the EGO is being willing to let bad things happen so long as you feel it's what is best. Granted, in Baoyu 1.0's case, him letting the siblings treat his vessels like shit is beyond his volition, but a clue's a clue. Plus, if nothing else, we can always tie it back to Hong Lu and how nonchalant he seems to be regarding his family and the abuse they put him through in the past.
Lastly there's my personal favorite, Frog Lu (AKA Cavernous Wailing). There's… a lot, lmao.
One: Disobedience. I mean, I reckon getting sent off by your gramgram might go against the family grain some if they had no idea about it. That, and as we've established, Baoyu 1.0 is getting a little tired of the pressure to be perfect all the time.
Two: Obeying the wishes of family after said disobedience. This one I'm a tiny bit fuzzier on, but you could say that Baoyu 1.0 still does feel love for his family, or at least his elders, despite all he's been through, the hangup is he wants to express it in his own way without being forced into it.
Three: Wanting space to tackle your emotions yourself. This is where I was going with that thing about Ambling Pearl wandering off. Leave it alone, it leaves you alone. Let the toad cry, and you get an EGO gift. Baoyu 1.0 stays in the Jade and is thus the only person who can actually grapple with his feelings. Hell, he gets sent out into The City *alone* in an attempt to better his understanding. This man just wants a safe space to cry, goddamn it.
I’ll definitely be developing this further along as we go through the next two Intervallos.
#limbus company#hong lu#jia baoyu#hong lu limbus company#hong lu limbus#dream of the red chamber#dotrc#hong lou meng#hong lu lcb#limbus company theory
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