#Who is trying to destroy our ship?!

[respectthepetty]

The issue I have with Choco Milk Shake is that I watched it before it was finished.

Now I'm sitting here after each episode hopeful yet destroyed by the possible outcomes.

Destroyed.

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

after listening to an among us song i was given the drive to reboot this au so ,

originated from a doodle that spiraled , SPREAD THE INFLUENCE is an au where ragatha is the ( unwilling ) host of a parasite called ' the influence ' which is a virus that only wants to spread and survive . she wasn't compliant about it at the beginning which was ' fixed ' with an itty bitty bit of psychological torment !

also yes i know the abbreviation is unfortunate and i do not care it's funny

even though ragatha's still our usual sweet little optimist , there is this persistent feeling of wrongness . too positive . too affectionate . it's like all of her humanity has been scooped out and you're left with the mask she made for others in the circus .

which is how the virus spread in the circus - they preyed on vulnerabilities which was what their host is perfect for . striking when the victim puts their guards down , making them submit under the guise that their problems will be fixed ... unfortunately it's a monkey's paw situation .

of course , that's only for this particular instance of the influencer ! something to note is that the virus takes a lot from the host's personality , so t.i's mellow and passive , only resorting to violence whenever necessary . t.i's not really an opposite ragatha she's more like a Dark , Fucked Up Version of ragatha the amazing digital circus . she cares a lot for everyone she considers a part of her hive , but it took a lot of manipulation and gaslighting for them to get infected .

caine is left uninfected because " i would do that if my goal is to destroy this place ! " t.i's ultimate fear has always been dying . it'll do everything to not die , to the point it's trying to spread out of the circus ( <- honestly take this info with a grain of salt i wrote this before i fully developed the story ) . unfortunately there's this jester who's resisting the virus with pure lesbian rage and is trying to stop her .

now rags would eventually get de-influenced and the circus will no longer be infected , but we will talk about the extremely rocky journey of recovering from knowing you harmed everyone you cared about Later

was this ' the influence ' that amanda ( ragatha's va ) keeps referencing ? sighs ... yeah . ( feels so surreal that i can say i have their seal of approval for this )

why ragatha ? in story , how is she not the perfect host ? metatextually , this is an au of an au - this came from a blog about ragatha getting a virus that is inconveniencing her life . i simply thought of an idea of ' hey what if the virus took over her body ' one day . then this abomination was born . i would reveal the why and how she got infected ... eventually .........

is she still afraid of centipedes ? is it a ragatha if she doesn't have a fear of centipedes

does pomni still use a taser ? yeah

could i use / be inspired by the influence for my au ? i did not invent the concept of Computer Viruses so feel free to be inspired by it , no credit needed . for t.i as a character specifically , please credit me !

are there ships ? just pomni x ragatha

is suggestive content of t.i ok ? just don't send them to me , tag it as #tw suggestive or #suggestive so i could filter it out

is nsfw content of t.i ok ? my tiny artist hands are powerless against the unstoppable force that is the internet so my answer will not matter . that being said , i recommend that they're not put in the main au tag so people won't unexpectedly come across it . and no i do not want to see it please do not send them to me

could i draw fanart / write fanfic of this au ? 100% yes you could either mention me or tag it under #tadc influence au

does this au have an ask blog ? nah just a normal blog lol

READ THE COMIC ... I GUESS ... !!

the main story

oh boy a prologue

[soon-palestine]

Israel, the world’s most innocent country, fell victim to a horrific attack from Iran with zero reported casualties on the same day Israel killed dozens of civilians in Gaza.

Israel had been minding its own business, quietly bombing hospitals, schools, universities, mosques, and an embassy, when the Iranian regime launched their outrageous attack for no apparent reason. Thankfully, the US and UK scrambled jets to defend Israeli airspace because it’s wrong to bomb countries in the Middle East, unless your name is Israel, in which case you can do all the bombing you want.

Every British and American ship in the region is now in grave danger and the risk of terror attacks on our soil has surely increased, but you will be relieved to know our countries have not benefitted in any way from our intervention. Personally, I can’t think of a better way for Israel to spend our tax money.

Our leaders have condemned Iran in the strongest possible terms, which is confusing because I thought we were supposed to remain ambiguous and say we’re investigating the matter when such an attack occurs. Perhaps this is one of those rules that only applies to Israel though.

When informed of the attack, a calm and rational Suella Braverman screamed: “WAR! I WANT WAR!” and when she’d stopped hyperventilating, she added: “This must be the end of western backsliding on Israel,” because she thinks we have not been sufficiently supportive of their genocide. Anyone who is not on the same side of the argument as Suella Braverman must ask serious questions about themselves.

Iran’s unprovoked attack involved giving Israel adequate warning and launching 30-year-old missiles, 99% of which were intercepted, and then saying the matter is closed unless Israel escalates further. The fact Iran would consider retaliating to further escalation from Israel shows just extreme these lunatics are.

Among Iran’s targets was the Israeli air base from which the missiles that struck its embassy were launched, killing 13 on April 1. As of yet, we have no indication as to why Iran carried out the attack, but we’re going to tell you it’s because they want to start World War III. Psychos.

Conspiracy theorists have suggested it’s actually Benjamin Netanyahu who wants escalation, but it’s unclear why the man who faces political oblivion, and possibly jail, would be incentivised to draw his allies into the fight and cause everyone to forget his many war crimes.

Israel, the country that definitely does not want war, has vowed an “unprecedented” response against Iran which will probably kill many more than zero people. If Iran expresses disapproval at Israel’s next mass murder, it’s because they’re trying to destabilise the region. At this point, we’ll have no choice but to help Israel do to Iran what we’ve spent six months helping them do to Gaza - launch precision strikes that destroy 70% of the buildings in the country and leave survivors living in tents.

Worryingly, we’ve just discovered at the most convenient moment that Iran has enough uranium to build 12 nuclear bombs. If it were true that Iran had so much weapon-grade uranium, it would be incredibly stupid to attack them, but we’re going to insist we must attack them because we’re weapon-grade idiots - and we think you are too.

Please just switch your brain off and accept what you’re being told, you simpletons! What matters is rich people can afford nuclear bunkers if this all goes horribly wrong. In the meantime, you can look forward to lots of exciting stories in the media about bringing back conscription and describing how you are likely to die in humanity's final war. Are you looking forward to radiation sickness and nuclear winter? Because they sound like brilliant fun! x

Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this outstanding piece of journalism as much as I did, you can support my work here:

[radiance1]

Danny:

Pariah Dark:

Fright Knight:

Danny: Look, I can explain-

Pariah Dark places a hand on Danny's shoulder, crouching down to his level (or as much as he can anyway) and giving the boy the proudest, most loving look he is able. "Son. I am so proud of you."

"Hah?" Danny asked, intelligently.

Fright Knight nodded. "I am as well." He even went as far as wiping an imaginary-no wait that's an actual tear. "It is just- It is so beautiful to see my nephew following in our footsteps." He sniffed, taking a handkerchief from... Somewhere, to further dab at his eyes.

"Hah??" Danny, once more, said intelligently.

"It is alright son." Pariah Dark continued, giving his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You did extremely well. Never let another say you did not. I am sure Time would be most pleased as well."

"What the fu-" Danny began.

"Language." Came the instant reply from them both as Fright Knight casually bisected an alien.

"Funny cheese puffs are you guys talking about??" Danny very shamelessly changed his sentence and went with.

"You started a war-"

"And cultivated fear."

"-Were you unaware?"

Danny blinked. Once. Then twice.

"Nuh uh." He said maturely. "I didn't do shii-" Faced with the glares of two angry parental figures, he very carefully chose his next words. "Ship. I'm innocent."

"He's even denying responsibility." Fright Knight dabbed away a few more tears and sniffed. "Truly, he reminds me of when you were younger my king."

"Haha!" Pariah Dark laughed, standing up and dusting himself off. "Truly! A prince after my own core!" Pariah patted Danny on the head, ruffling his hair. "Yes, my little 'ling is as innocent as he appears." Pariah winked knowingly.

Danny has some choice words for who let him know how to do that.

"Now..." War rubbed his chin as he looked out over the amount of carnage taking place in the city below from the fight between the aliens and the League of Justice. "Fear, do you think they would oppose to us joining?"

"That would depend on which side we fight for." Fear inclined his head, kicking a corpse off the side of the building they stood on. "Though I would rather not have this planet destroyed as we have an arrangement later this week."

"Ah, with Kents, yes?" War chuckled, cracking his knuckles. "Up for a wager, Fear?"

"What kind?"

"Least kills has to attend with no food."

"Hey wait a minute-" Danny tried to interject.

"This is not within my favor." Fear said calmly. "But I shall take you up on this offer regardless, my king."

And just like that, they were off.

Danny stood there for a moment, questioning if he should really step in and try to stop them. What would the Justice League say when the Ancients of War and Fear join in on a totally out of the blue invasion that Danny totally didn't have a hand in. How would the GIW react to this?

Then Danny thought. 'Wait, I have nothing to do with this.' And then decided this... Isn't his problem.

Then went back to sleep.

[hamliet]

Excited for your thoughts on the bnha ending

Also I’ll be honest I dropped this like 200 chs ago and I’ve just kept up through your metas because I was so disillusioned with the manga 🥲 I even sold my copies

it's a bit bittersweet to see bnha handled this way. sometimes i think we'll get a promising continuation from the author which is major cope for me T.T

fix its are otw but damn it doesn't mend that it ended this way rn

Diff asks, answering together.

Not saying too much because there's not much to be said besides that a friend who wrote a meta who won't post it (to all our detriment!) said it best last week: this story is cowardly. It's afraid to say or do anything because it wants to make everyone happy and realized it can't, so now it just wants to make no one upset, but everyone's upset.

I feel sad for Horikoshi. His recent interviews are quite depressing, and he seems burned out and done with his own manga in a way that makes Gege look enthusiastic about JJK.

Like, he doesn't confirm Touya dead or alive--which frankly I will take--but leaves it up to the reader to decide. Is the doctor's word final, or is Touya crying a symbol of healing since he previously couldn't? I know which one I choose to believe, but this way people can choose to fit the manga into their personal beliefs. He's trying to say nothing to avoid rocking the boat. And that's just sad, especially when we consider what likely contributed to that.

Which is to say, on a purely story level, the story has no power. There's being open to other perspectives and then there's not having a message. This is sadly the latter. It's a mess. Deku "heroes save" doesn't save, but he's still heroic, but that line isn't demolished or destroyed. AFO may be dead, but he won in the end because what he used to taunt Deku came true. Deku's character is nothing more than a vehicle--no struggle, no emotional climax, no principles. The ships are not even confirmed because the story can't even commit to the obvious Ochaco/Deku (which I dislike even!) for fear of angering other loud shippers. Society is the problem, but also the answer. The hero system is the problem, but also the answer. It's not a paradox because it doesn't explain the layers at play here. It's just noodles that have cooked far too long and turned into a congealed mess.

The only message I can take from it is "yay authoritarianism" which I'm going to hope Horikoshi is saying accidentally (and most likely is). It's as meaningless as GoT season 8, and TROS, and that's not good company to be in.

[mingis-orangejuice]

Asking the L&Ds boys "What are we?" Part 2: Xavier

Summary: MC and her boy have been in a sort of situation-ship but MC wants to know why they haven't officially called her their girlfriend

a/n: This ended up being much longer than I thought so I'm making it into 4 parts (one for each boy) here's part 2 with Xavier. you can request who you want me to post next if you want

Genres/Warnings: angst, fluff, kinda slow burn

Word count: 1250

Other parts: 1, 3, 4,

After another long day of battling wonderers, you and Xavier head back to the office to change out of your hunter’s uniforms. A whole day of combat makes you very sweaty and you don’t want to be smelly for your date with Xavier. But was it a date? You and Xavier had been going out for dinner almost every night since you found out you both lived in the same apartment complex. But they never really felt like dates, and he’s never really called you his girlfriend. You told yourself It was just more convenient since he couldn’t cook without potentially burning down the apartment and after a long day, you were just too tired to. Was that all it was, just a convenient way to have a meal? But what about all the dirty looks he gives the other male hunters when you get paired with them for assignments, were you just seeing things or was he jealous? But what does he have to be envious of if you’re not truly his?

“Are you ready to go?” a soft voice breaks you from your thoughts. You turn around to see Xavier standing behind you. You’d been waiting outside the changing rooms for him for a few minutes. “Sorry it took so long there was a problem with one of the showers, I had to rinse off in the sink” 

You give Xavier a small smile as you both start to walk down the empty hall “How do you always end up in these situations? Are you cursed or something” you laugh “Don’t stand too close I don't want your curse to rub off on me” you say jokingly as you dramatically step away from him.

Following your joke he dramatically steps towards you and tries to put his arms around you. “But I don’t want to be the only one that's cursed hold me and we’ll be cursed together for the rest of our lives” he pulls you into a big bear hug as you both laugh while you pretend to escape. You both are having too much fun to notice the janitor glancing at you from over his shoulder while he cleans the windows “Ah, young love” he said with a sentimental sigh, quite enough that you two could just barely hear it but enough to make you realize that you’re not the only people in the building as you had initially thought. You can feel your heart race a little at the janitor's words.  Xavier lets go of you and you continue to walk out of the building. 

Trying to break the awkward silence Xavier finally speaks up. “You know, I heard wishing on a star can break a curse, and since we’re both cursed now you have to help me find a wishing star tonight to undo the curse. What do you say?” he asks looking at you expectantly

“Well yeah now since you’ve cursed me I guess I have no choice but to help you break the bad luck with showers curse” You feigned annoyance. “But first we need food! Where were you planning on taking us tonight?”

Xavier smiled, happy that the awkwardness from earlier was gone. “I saw this new pizza place a few blocks away from our apartment, it's like a DIY place they give you the dough and toppings and you get to bake it in the little ovens at your table” Xavier basically had stars in his eyes when he mentioned baking.

“Uh… maybe we order in tonight, you don’t want to have to pay for repairs when you destroy their oven now, do you ?” you look at him with a sarcastic grin.

“I promise I won’t burn down anything this time, plus I’ll have you right there with me, there's no way you’d let me burn our dinner right?” he chuckles and puts out his hand to grab yours. “Let's go, those pizzas aren’t going to DIY themselves”

Later at the pizza place you and Xavier are having fun making tons of fun, and in Xavier’s case, weird pizza combos. You two spent so much time having fun that you almost forgot you promised to go stargazing tonight before you went home. Xavier gets the attention of the waitress so that he can pay the bill. 

The waitress was a sweet old lady who, when she wasn’t busy helping other tables, made it her mission to make sure you guys hand everything you need. “Did you two have a great time?” she asks handing Xavier the check.

“Yeah it was great, I love the concept it's so fun,” you said with a big smile. Xavier pays and looks up at the waitress “Yeah we’re definitely going to come back here”

“Oh, I’m glad,” The waitress says as she starts to grab your empty plates off the table. “You two are definitely the cutest couple I've seen here in a while, I hope you stay together forever. 

“Um.. we’re…no…” you started to correct the lady but she just kept going.

I heard if you wish on a star by the fountain down the street you’re 100% guaranteed to have that wish come true. Maybe I’ll make a little wish for you two”

You were about to correct the lady again but Xavier cut you off “Thank you that's very kind of you ma’am” Xavier politely bowed as she stacked the last of the dishes and walked away. Xavier puts out his hand to help you out of your chair. “Well let's go find a wishing star to break this curse”

At the fountain, you and Xavier sit quietly for some time just looking up at the sky trying to find a star to wish on. Still feeling a little awkward about what the waitress said, you wanted to say something to make it less awkward but the words that spilled out were anything but. “What are we? 

Xavier, without missing a beat answered “We’re just two people looking up at the stars”

“Just?” you questioned

Before you can say anything more a shooting star passes overhead, Xavier clasps his hands together and starts to wish “ Oh great wishing star please let me and my wonderful girlfriend be together forever, even though she doesn't trust me to use an oven by myself but that just means I get to take her out on more dates. And sometimes it may take her a while to notice things but she’s mine and I want to be with her forever, even though we might be cursed” Xavier finishes his wish and looks to you “What was it you wanted to ask me?

“Uh… nothing … never mind” You looked up to see him staring at you his eyes sparkling like stars a slight blush on his cheeks. This made your heart skip a beat so you looked away quickly and turned your head up to look for more stars.”I hope your wish comes true” you stated bashfully.

Xavier chuckled and also looked up “ Well since we’ll be together forever now, I guess we don’t really need to wish away the curse right ?” 

“Yes, we do! I don’t want to be washing off in the company sinks every day, let’s hurry up and find another wishing star I'll stay here all night if I have to” You say in a joking tone

Xavier places his hand over yours “Well then, I’ll be glad to accompany my girlfriend on her quest to lift our curse.” 

[s0lemnhypn0s]

(Warning for this post I'm half asleep so I might be incoherent or have disjointed topics. Bare with me, I'm trying to express my thoughts the best I can.)

(and WARNING! i discuss personal paranoias at one point during this, which include the topic of bugs and self harm)

"Billford is ironic we're shipping them ironically" "We don't actually want to see them together" "We don't think theyre a good pair" "its irreconciliably abusive" "its one sided"

ok I'm gonna put forward a take that might be poorly recieved: I think you all are misunderstanding Billford (And each character individually) and just reducing it to "bill abused ford" takes away so much of what makes their dynamic fascinating. And also claiming "Erm its a bit" while engaging in something you "recognize" as abuse only does a disservice to the topic of abuse and how it relates to the mentally ill (I will get into that later). You are treating the relationship as a joke and only acknowledging the abusive aspects when people come at you is just pretty scummy of you. Speaking as someone who experienced a near identical abusive relationship, where my paranoia was preyed upon, causing me to still suffer from the paranoia of being watched by them or that my abuser will eventually send someone after me.

In general, the existence of abuse is a complicated one and abuse is not a catch all, end all term. Not all abuse is built the same. Billford is undeniably abusive, but there is not a period after "abusive", are you picking up what I'm putting down. It's not just "Bill was exerting power over Ford and thats it"

Lets start with: We all recognize Ford is paranoid, but we don't seem to recognize Bill as paranoid in the exact same way, dare I say - Even more paranoid than Ford. I mean, ford got his "Trust no one" quote from Bill directly saying his rule of thumb for trusting people is to just trust no one. He doesn't trust others - He simply doesn't. And this is part of where Bill Cipher's manipulation of SPECIFICALLY Ford comes in.

Now I am going to speak from a personal anecdote of my experience with paranoia and delusions - Me, I will try to "safeguard" against my every little fear and belief that something will, undoubtedly, undeniably, be out to hurt me, and these safeguards are often extreme in nature. They don't make sense to the people around me, but they make sense to me. Sometimes they hurt the people around me. Sometimes, they hurt me. I believe this is the same with Bill Cipher himself. He is taking measures to make sure his worst fears do not come to pass. And because Bill is decidedly not human, only interacts with humans when he deems neccesary, those measures often take the form of something even more extreme than, idk, me shaving my head because I thought bug eggs were in my hair or trying to cut open my skin because I thought something was living in it. They take the form of something abusive (Which is also just... Something that happens with the mentally ill sometimes. I see you guys trying to separate our mental illness from our actions and claim "thats not making you do that". I see you.). Him trying to guard himself from something so terrible(facetious) as Ford's percieved betrayal ultimately becomes a self fufilling prophecy.

Not to mention, if you guys didn't notice. Bill without a doubt projects his own insecurities onto Ford. "I make you feel important" Ford makes Bill feel important. "No one loves you" He was ostracized in his dimension. "Who will miss you" He destroyed his entire home, nobody would mourn Bill, because they were all gone, long gone. "I'm sending someone to steal your eyes" Might be a stretch, but I look towards the silly straw poem "A different kind of eye doctor, who wants to make his patient blind" Obviously the use of "blind" here is metaphorical, but I feel its still in some ways applicable.

Bill very evidently experienced medical abuse and ostracization in Euclydia, something exceedingly common for those labeled as mad. (Which also brings me to the topic of people saying "I'm so glad they didn't make Bill a sympathetic villain in the book of bill" bc. Hi. I'm a guy thats experienced ostracization and medical staff forcibly medicating me in order to fix me. I think he is sympathetic actually). Not only that, Bill Cipher had a trillion years to fester in his resentment and his guilt, and you think that like. Didn't effect him at all. I really and truly beg to disagree.

Not only that: I think Bill felt a kinship with Ford. Ford was ostracized, he was betrayed by the world (and "betrayed" by his brother), he was regarded as a freak for what he was born with, just as Bill was regarded as a freak for his mutation in Euclydia. Bill thought Ford was just like him. Bill thought Ford would understand him, and furthermore would jump at the opportunity to burn the world down with him. And. to his credit. Ford does, in some capacity, understand him. As much as Ford could understand, with Bills lies within lies. Bill craves the intimacy and fears the touch. He uses fear to get Ford to love him, not only because he thinks it will safeguard him from what he fears most, but likely because it is all he knows, all he was taught. Love through fear. Our love is painful, but we only want to help. Pain in love is natural. It's right. It will only hurt a little. This is how you know we love you. He was shocked when Ford rejected him. He thought he did everything right. He had everything planned, for them to be together for eternity.

And bare in mind also that - Bill. Most evidently. Views himself as a monster. When Ford asks about what happened to his dimension, who destroyed it - Bill responds "A monster.", he says "Sixer, it would eat you alive" when Ford offers to help hunt it down. He lets his mask of jovial, mysterious mischief drop just slightly, and we understand just a little bit more of how he feels about the euclidean massacre, how he understands himself through his actions. And what he understands, is that this is just his nature. "I liberated my dimension, Stanford", a lie but not in the way you'd think. He lies, acting like what he did was intentional, as its the only way he could ascribe "reason" to what he did. It couldn't have been an accident. That is just how I am. It wasn't an accident, and I liberated them. (I wish I could go back.) And I come back to the idea of a self fufilling prophecy, because its again- That exactly. Bill decided this was all he could be, he did everything that would make him a "monster" after the accident that caused the euclidean massacre - And so, he was. A sick prognosis that he created and fufilled with his own two hands, he became the monster he and his home dimension envisioned him as.

Abuse is a complicated subject. What Bill did was abuse, yes, but I also distinctly believe it to be a case of abuse between two mentally ill people, one of which is so old, his hate his anger and his regrets, all are ancient and yet so fresh.

I feel another part of the problem is people are taking Bill at face value. Which is exactly what he wants to do because then you dont get at what hes doing all this for and why. You don't get past the exoskeleton to the tender flesh beneath. But stop taking what he says at face value. Read into it more. Analyze the triangle.

Also it might be controversial (hyperbole.) , but I do thing it means /something/ that during Ford's part of the book of bill, where Bill and Ford's relationship is recounted from his perspective, Bill is notably absent, whereas in the rest of the book, he is guiding us through it and constantly maintains a loud presence in it. You could interpret this in a lot of different ways I think, but the way I've chosen to interpret it is as a mix of shame, regret, and an unwillingness to revisit their past together. Perhaps even Bill having enough respect for Ford to not interject his telling of their story together, if you want to get real complicated about it. Paradoxal, if you will.

(Also I find the theraprism to be a most fucked "end" for Bill Cipher due to the medical abuse he experienced as a child. Something something, mad people can never escape the institutions which seek to "fix" them.)

anyway if you read through my mad sleep addled ramblings CONGRATS! i'm probably going to make edits and add to this when I wake up in the morning but i needed to get this out or id forget. billford is abusive but its way more complex than just... abuse. Abuse is a complex subject and it exists on a spectrum, for a lack of better words. and dont twist my words - That isn't saying "this is less bad abuse", this is saying "its complicated and just leaving it at abusive does their relationship a disservice"

[breeyn]

An essay rebutting the “bad writing” claims of s2 ofmd. Spoilers herein.

I’ll preface this with saying you’re obviously allowed to like and dislike whatever you want. I am in no way opposing that. And your reasons are your reasons. Have at. (Also - this is a collection of observations from the past few days, I’m not calling anyone out)

I AM going to rebut the idea that season two was poorly written and lost the spirit of what the show is about.

My favourite movie of all time is Empire Strikes Back. It’s been my favourite movie since I was four. I’m pretty sure it’s a fave of David Jenkins, too. He and Taika have made absolutely no attempt to hide their love of all things 80’s - Prince, the Princess Bride, Kate Bush, Star Wars, etc.

I have ancient video tapes (that I can’t play because who has a vcr) where Lucas is interviewed by Leonard Maltin? Malkin? I dunno. Who cares. Maltin asks him about the Star Wars (original trilogy) story arc. Lucas says “in act I, you introduce all the characters. In act II, you put them in a situation they can’t get out of, and in act III, they get out of it.”

That’s how it works. This is how stories and literary structures work.

Of course you’re not satisfied with season two. You’re not supposed to be.

The arguments I have read on why s2 loses the spirit of s1 is because no one heals. No one learns anything. No one moves forward properly. The person who makes the biggest move towards healing dies. The two main characters end the show doing the exact fucking thing they had promised themselves and each other they wouldn’t do. Our romantic lead still doesn’t understand his value or make any headway on addressing his tragic flaw. It makes no goddamn sense.

My gremlins in weird: it’s not supposed to. In Act 2, EVERYONE LOSES. This is how it goes.

I’ve read a lot of people saying “but this felt like a series finale, not a season finale.” We all know that outside politics play a part here, the strikes make everything precarious. I remember the last writers strike. It destroyed tv for fifteen years. Anyone remember Pushing Daisies? Some of y’all have never had your fave show cancelled with zero resolution for the characters and it shows.

Daddy J did us a kindness. He softened the blow of a tough season. After the brutal cliffhanger of s1, he gave us a little softness and hope. All those things you’re mad aren’t resolved? It’s because THE STORY ISN’T OVER.

No one on earth thinks “stuff all your trauma into a box and ignore it” is good advice. A way to actually live. This show did not have enough screen time to throw out dialogue for no reason. There was foreshadowing in s1 for s2, and there is foreshadowing for s3 in s2. This is a well-crafted story by very smart people who care very much for these characters. There is zero chance Frenchie explained the box in his head for no reason. The reason people have not resolved their trauma and growth is because they haven’t done it *yet*.

And friends - it’s not thinly veiled. They straight up fucking tell us what they’re doing.

Luke Skywalker spends the first two movies fucking up and desperately trying to prove himself and just generally being an idiot. Sound familiar? He ignores the lessons he is supposed to be learning to go off and do what he feels like doing, and loses fucking badly. At the end of Empire, Han is gone, Luke and Leia wave goodbye to the Falcon that has Lando and Chewy - the rest of their crew - aboard. Everyone has lost everything they care about. Vader is undefeated. Yoda is pissed. Nothing is resolved.

You see where I’m going?

If you think I’m stretching this too far, welp, when Ed tells Stede he loves him - the climax of the finale - Stede quotes Han fucking Solo. Like - *it’s right there*. The story structure. The reason everything is unresolved.

So yeah. They wave goodbye to their ship because they have wounds to heal (like Luke’s hand). The people aboard the ship have things to find. Ed and Stede have *not* learned their lesson about whims and how not to be like Anne and Mary. It’s not stupid that they’re doing the same thing, and it’s not pointless that we were shown Anne and Mary. It’s all relevant.

The resolution comes in Act 3. None of these people are done. The story is far, far from over. And just in case the studios want to be dicks about it, David Jenkins was lovely enough to not repeat my enduring heartbreak over Pushing Daisies.

Thank you, @davidjenks 🖤

[heavenlyascent]

You can tell what the ship war/Tifa vs Aerith/Whose the “True” Heroine/Love of FF7 is about because it never includes Barret, despite him being a romance candidate (even IF the OG boiled it down to one big antiblack gay joke), or Yuffie (thankfully because of her age though I shutter to think how she would have been treated if she was an older, viable candidate), or Zack despite his bond with Cloud, or Jessie for that matter. All these are background elements to the ongoing fight over who is the default love interest and thus true love of Cloud.

Which is boiled down to, which one of these women are meant for this man.

It doesn't care that Final Fantasy 7 is a world-spanning story about humanity, genocide, imperialism, and trauma. It ignores that while Cloud is ultimately our main character, it's a story of an entire cast of main characters who are just as important to the ever moving plot as Cloud.

And really, as it insults Tifa and Aerith by trying to suggest one's story is more "important" than the other, it also insults Barret by completely ignoring that his efforts are the instigating factors OF the story and that the running theme of saving the planet? Is because Barret was the first one to scream it in the narrative. It ignores Yuffie's and Red XIII's fight to preserve their dying cultures in a world that actively wants to destroy them for the sake of capitalism. It ignores Cid as someone whose dreams were crushed by capitalism and become so consumed by his pain, he hurt everyone around him. It ignores how Vincent played an active role in Sephiroth's birth and the core corruption of Shinra.

And I think it absolutely misses the theme of FF7 and Cloud in general. Cloud loves everyone. He loves all his friends. If the Remakes and Rebirth did anything, it put on display that there's not one single person that Cloud loves--but all those he has met. Yes, he loves Tifa and loves Aerith and maybe in one or both, he has romantic feelings for them but he clearly loves Barret, Red XIII, Yuffie, Zack, Jessie, Bigs, Wedge, Reeve/Cait, and--as we'll see later--Cid and Vincent.

If any of them died, Cloud would have been devastated. Aerith is special and he mourns her in a specific way because she's AERITH. Not because she's the ONE. SHE'S AERITH. Irreplaceable just like Tifa, just like Barret, just like Yuffie, just like Red XIII, just like Zack, and Cait/Reeve, Cid, and Vincent.

For the last near 30 years, the ship wars have rewrote Cloud's intense love for the people around him as just a heteronormative love story and it's gross.

None of the characters deserve that, but specifically Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith who are so much more than players in a stupid love triangle.

[darkbluekies]

I am not sure if you have done it already but:

Yandere x affection-starved Black Sheep darling?

Hear me out: a darling who is so used that their golden child sibling takes everything from them, from nice clothing/stuff to dates with potential partners. The sibling just steals everything away. And the parents only praise the sibling but never darling. Whenever bad something happened, darling is the one who gets to blame.

Neglected, traumatised and emotionally deprived they meet the yanderes, 100% believing they are just "interested" in them bc they want their sibling and are absolutely convinced & annoyed by their shows of affection (when in fact they are just scared to be hurt which always had been the case before).

Saying stuff like "Y'know, why dont you ask them directly? Stop using me to get closer to them!" And are absolutely puzzled by the reaction, when yan stress that they dont want anything from their relative. They want their darling.

And proceed to be persistent on that statement until darling believes them.

Well, basically this 👇🏼

I absolutely LOVE this kind of dynamic ♡^♡

Not only would all of them DESPISE the sibling (and the rest of the family) for beating their darling this much down, that darling does not have the heart to trust and love - including themselves - anymore, but are on edge to wipe them off from the face of earth. I say on edge because:

It would be too easy just to kill them. No. They have to suffer at first.

The most fun part: all yanderes have some sort of power / & wealth, which appeals the siblings (bc they are basic beaches) and try to seduce and snatch them away from darling like they always used to. And yanderes noticing, pulling strings to slowly but surely for the sibling to fall into insanity and ruin them once and for all.

Dr. Kry, my most favourite boy (Bonus: affectionate!cured!Darling x yan!Dr as it just fits 🤌🏻✨ to my favourite ship dynamic like a glove✨🤌🏻 that picture above🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻)

Dr. Kry would be on a whole new level of persistence and pettiness. You thought he was controlling, manipulative and unhinged 100%? Make it 200% :)

I can imagine how he would look down at the sibling when they show up to "visit their little troublemaker", showing themselves off, bragging how good they are "to come by" (however they never seem to ask to see darling directly though) and proceed to claim that darling is just overly dramatic and should "give you a break, and you shouldn't believe everything what they say. They just making it up". Laughing behind the back of darling's "sickness".

Remember that bloodphobia thoughts I have written? Yeah, imagine the rage if our beloved Dr. Kry finds out that the sibling is the key reason who triggered the phobia in the first place. Like humiliation in front of the class when darling got their first time period and sibling "pranked" them by lying to them that they are dying or sm HOMAGOSH HE WOULD BE SO MAD >:D

After finally persuading darling that he loves obsesses about them and not and never anyone else, month after month reassuring his likeness to darling, (Dr. Kry, a patient man) they start dating once darling surprisingly gets better after startint to believe him.

As a well-respected doctor and a rich man (I mean to remember you said he hardly spended his money, thus posessing goods) their sibling tries to seduce him but he shuts them down every time. In front of darling, in front of family, in front of everyone, in a humiliating way. Absolutely no f*cks given that he is talking to the "golden child". Then he starts to pull on the strings really hard. From making their sibling's wedding/relationships plans cancel to destroying their career and material possessions. But no one would suspect them bc Dr. Kry had taken care of it and happily cut ties off between darling and their obnoxious family already before.

His little one will never have to suffer anymore. And they gradually heal. With him on their side. Forever.

He would definitely have a saviour complex in this AU lol

Blue, what are you doing lately? HOW are you doing? I wish you a wonderful day my dear and hope you enjoyed my thought process again ^*^ 💕

(btw, I am fine. Really, without sarcasm, I come from a very loving family with a wonderful supporting sibling lmaoooo. So, pls don't worry XD As a fellow overthinker I feel the need to clear that hah~

Just loooove the creepy but strangely endearing vibes of these relationships lol There's just something catchy about them right???) And your OCs are just.... so FUN TO EXPLORE???!!! Like OMG, I love them and your stories all so. much! It really gives me motivation and kicks me into writing AGAIN after so many damn years of writer's block (but oc x oc. I find reader perspective strange ngl) even though I am not very strong in writing xD I write. But not that good...

Anyway take care of yourself and have a great week! 🤭❤

Byeeeee~

Fun fact about the black sheep concept: I actually have a black sheep character. Check out the 'Secrets' oneshot and you will see how Ares talks about Silas🤭 but a black sheep yn could also be quite cool???

I love how you wrote Kry, that's so cool to think about. He would 100% go out of his way to ruin your siblings life after everything they've deprived you off!! Doesn't he already have a savior complex? A white knight complex? At least a little? This is probably one of the few times there will be a happy ending with Kry lmaooo

What I'm doing lately? I am taking an 5h 20min test this Saturday (the entirety of it is 8h 50 min including breaks) so that's not very fun, but I think that my life is slowly starting to get better. I think that my legs are starting to heal from my injury, I have saved up money and my best friend comes home next week!! She moved to Germany 3 years ago. I miss her so much, we have been friends for 11 years and she has always taken care of me. She's the type to give me her jacket if I say that I'm cold and to warm my hands under her shirt. Only princess behavior here🥰

Haha don't worry, I'm the same. I'm a big overthinker (its better now though) who comes from a loving family, but youre right about that there's just something so interesting about yanderes lmao. Thank you so much foe liking them, I love to create characters that really feel human, because they make rhe story feel more alive that way!!

I totally get that you mean by oc x oc, moat of my private stories are that way, bur oc x you works better for Tumblr which is why these stories have that format!! Normally I write in 3d person with a fixed main character!

Please please write and show me!!! Feel free to reach out if you ever need some writing advice!! I'm not professional, but sometimes it's nice to just bounce thoughts with someone else<3

[foone]

you know what'd be a fun idea for a trek fanshow? Star Trek: Mission Logs. You just put a couple people in starfleet uniforms, and have them read off summaries of episodes in an increasingly incredulous tone. Like Drunk History: Star Trek Edition.

"so the captain says that while on the way to the inauguration ceremony, they diverted course to Vulcan as their first officer needed SO MUCH to fuck that he was a week from death, but then when they got there, he got stood up, and then fought the captain TO DEATH but he was ok?"

"so it turns out when they disappeared during the battle with the borg, they went back in time and found out that the first use of warp drive had been undone, so they had to personally help Cochrane rebuild his ship, and they were there for first contact!?"

I say "drunk history" because I imagine the people at the starfleet HQ have to drink heavily to handle the kind of reports they keep getting in from starfleet captains.

"So after a miserable first contact, the commander, doctor, first officer, and science officer disappeared, and their security officer found that the boardgame the barkeep was playing had pieces that represented them? and they were somehow mystically imprisoned inside the game!"

"so the captain says that they detected a ship trapped inside a black hole (!?) and when they tried to rescue the ship, they got damaged and then discovered they were that ship, trapped inside without realizing. Fortunately they found the crack in the event horizon and escaped." (the lieutenant then passes out after finishing the entire bottle of Bolian vodka)

"So while they were on a vital mission to locate the aliens who had blown up florida and were planning to destroy the entire planet, they found a... Cowboy Planet!?" Everyone yells "COWBOY PLANET!" and takes a shot.

"So while testing a weapons upgrade, a crewmember's case of flu was accidentally turned into an infectious de-evolutionary mutagen, causing the crewmember to turn into a spider, and the rest of the crew to undergo similar changes." "stop, stop, STOP! you made that one up, admit it!" "no, really! Their counselor turned into a frog." "ok, now I'm just not going to believe anything you say."

"so a former captain of the ship was visiting when they tried to rescue a ship flying directly into a supernova, but got 'pulled in'!? and ended up in a REVERSE TIME UNIVERSE? naturally, everyone quickly de-aged to children, and the elderly former captain had to take command" "Spelk, you're not even trying this time, that's not even remotely plausible"

"So it turns out that the terrorist who took over the paradise planet was the first officer's (half-)brother, and he uses his magic hypnosis to cause the crew to mutiny and join his mission to travel to the middle of the galaxy... and find god!?" "Did... did they find god?" "oh yeah! turns out he was evil. Don't worry, the first officer blew him up using a klingon warbird." "he blew up god?" "yeah!"

"So this is a little different, it's not a mission log... it's a repair log." "That doesn't sound like it'd be very weird..." "Oh, just you wait. So, they had to get refueled because all their dilithium had been stolen." "Stolen?" "Yes. By a man from AN ANTIMATTER DIMENSION" "So a man in an antimatter dimension discovered there were two dimensions, and his matter counterpart went insane and obsessed with killing the anti-matter version of him, but meeting outside the dimensional corridor would destroy both universes" "both... universes? So if the captain didn't stop these guys, everyone in our entire universe and some other one would be gone?" "YEP!" "did he stop them? well, I guess he did, since we're still here" "oh yeah. trapped 'em in the dimensional corridor forever." "so they're just out there in some weird in-between-the-universes place, just fighting, for all time? and that's the only reason we haven't blown up?" "YEP!" "and this all came out in the logs... because they put in for repairs?" "yeah. to replace the stolen dilithium" "are you sure the captain wasn't really into dabo or kotra and wagered the dilithium crystals on a "sure thing" that didn't pan out?"

"So this one is a report of some people (with pictures!) who don't exist." "They don't exist?" "Nope! never did. They weren't born." "So, we have pictures of them, because?" "Well, the ship crashed, and the stranded crew had kids... then they uncrashed." "uncrashed?" "yeah! so it turns out when they approached the planet, they got thrown a couple centuries back in time, and met their descendants. then when they tried to leave, the ship would crash, restarting the loop. but it didn't." "it didn't?" "yeah, one of the crew was secretly in love with another officer, but she wasn't going to survive the crash, so despite the crew attempting to recreate the crash to continue the existence of their past-future-descendants, he sabotaged the ship into not crashing" "wait, into not crashing? he did sabotage to make everything... work perfectly?" "yeah! they were trying to crash, remember? So they inadvertently didn't crash, undoing the existence of all of their descendants, so they never existed. But here's their pictures!"

"ooh, I found a really weird one! It's not a mission report, medical file, or even another repair log" "So what is it? Another weird artifact?" "no no no, I sent those off to the SCP division. This is a SPY REPORT! About a dead Romulan!" "So this report is on a spy saying that the Romulans had gotten access to some secret information about the then-upcoming Intrepid-class starships. Very minimal info, but this was found in a Romulan database when the ship was just undergoing initial design stages" "Here's the weird part: The database file with the information on the Intrepid was timestamped 2351, but Starfleet didn't even start initial design work on the Intrepid until 2364!" "So they used time travel? to get... basic information on one single starship class?" "Kinda? See, there's a P.S. on the spy file, added later when it was declassified. The leaked info in the Romulan database was discovered in 2371, but the file was updated in 2378, with an explanation." "and?" "Remember when the U.S.S. Voyager was lost?" "oh yeah, they turned out to have just been stuck on the other side of the galaxy, right?" "Yeah! And while they were there, they found a microscopic wormhole, and successfully used it to communicate back with the Romulans... but discovered it was a TIME WORMHOLE" "oh, so they were talking to the Romulans back in 2351?" "Yep! They figured that out and then decided not to transport through the wormhole, as they would have gotten home 20 years before they left, but they sent some messages back to be delivered later. They didn't come through" "why not?" "well... turns out the romulan guy (Telek R'Mor) died before Voyager ever launched, so he never got a chance to deliver the messages. but he DID inform the Tal Shiar about some design elements of the Intrepid class, years before it was launched" "that must have confused them" "yes... the report is basically just two spy agencies completely confused about what to do about the intelligence they had, and confused about why they had it"

"ok ok ok, enough artifacts, mission logs, spy reports, medical reports, repair logs, how about a really weird one: A SENSOR REPORT!" "why is that one weird?" "well, look at the timestamp. Both of them." "so one timestamp is 2372, and the other is... negative 16 billion?" "yep! This one is a scan of the big bang. And slightly before it." "... before?" "Yeah! They did a scan, and then THE BIG BANG HAPPENED, and then fortunately they got out of there before the universe fully existed, as that would exceed the ship's safety tolerances" "so... why were they at the big bang?" "well... you know the farpoint encounter, and that godly being the USS Enterprise ran into?" "oh god (uh, no pun intended)... but yeah, vaguely" "WELL it turns out there was another one of those godly beings who was suicidal and imprisoned in a comet, and-" "wait wait wait. there was a god trapped in a comet?" "yes. apparently they're infinitely powerful but weak to comets. ANYWAY. he was suicidal and trying to hide" "hide? WHAT DOES A GOD HAVE TO HIDE FROM?" "well he was hiding from the other god! the one at farpoint! that one was the one who imprisoned him. because he was suicidal." "so the god was in the comet, and the other god put him there, and someone let him out? and then he hid?" "yes! and where does a god hide?" "at the big bang?" "slightly before, but yes! and he took the ship along with him, so that's how they were able to scan the big bang. because of getting involved in a weird game of hide-and-seek between a suicidal god and a jailer-god" "so what happened? how did they get out of the whole god-war thing?" "well... usual stuff. they put the god on trial to see if he could be allowed to die, but compromised on making him human and a crew member" "so they had a former god on their crew?" "briefly. then he died." "he died? after settling for human?" "yeah, it turned out the jailer-god changed his mind and decided to rebel against god-society and started by giving the former-god some deadly poison to let him finally die, like he wanted" "well, at least that seems to have ended... well?"

"oh no, there's a follow up! see, it seems the dead god thing lead to a god-civil-war and it seems that caused a bunch of supernovae in 2373." "wait... supernovae? plural? like, outshined-the-entire-galaxy SUPERNOVAE? that must have killed billions, or trillions!" "yep! it was a massive disaster and caused a real crisis in astronomy because we had no idea why it was happening, but it suddenly stopped, thankfully. But yes, it was started because the crew accidentally freed a suicidal god from a comet." "oh god..." "literally!"

"don't worry, though... that's not the weird bit" "HOW IS THAT NOT THE WEIRD BIT?" "OK I PROMISE I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP... but after the first supernovae of the 2373 Calamity, it turns out the captain (of the ship that killed the god) discovered another god... in her bed" "her... bed?" "Yeah! it turns out the other god wanted to have a child. with her." "... that's weird but what does this have to do with the supernovae?" "he wanted to end the war, and figured the best way to do it was to get her pregnant with a god-baby"

"NOPE! That's it! I'm out. that's not real. you're making it up. We don't live in a universe where one captain caused death across the universe by sparking a god-war and then only ending it by having a baby with a god. I'm out. I have a Warp Dynamics test to study for anyway."

"wait! wait! I didn't even tell you about the time she turned into a lizard and had babies with her pilot" "NO! I DON'T CARE HOW MANY WEIRD THINGS YOU MAKE UP, THERE ARE NO LIZARD BABIES"

"no, I swear, it really happened! Look, they went infinitely fast and occupied every point in the universe!" "THAT'S NOT HOW SPEED WORKS" "it is! and it turns out going everywhere at once infinitely fast turns you into a lizard!" "*sigh* Are there any reports on unhearing that?"

I imagine they sometimes decide to go HARD MODE on the report readings, where they have to put aside all the ones with "Voyager" on them. They're just too easy.

"So I've got two reports here, and I want you to pick between them. One is the second weirdest transporter visitor log, and the other is a report on why a science officer is 30 years old... except his head, which is 495 years old!" "I'm going to cut you off there, because I know your tricks: those are both the same incident." "Yep! You got me. Am I really that predictable?" "You are. Also, second weirdest transporter visitor log? You phrased that very specifically..." "I wanted to rule out all the transporter accidents and strange misuses of the transporter, and focus solely on WHO was transported. This was the second weirdest person." "I'm not going to take the obvious bait and ask who it was... but I will ask: who is the weirdest?" "Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln. President of the United States, a predecessor to the unified Earth government... he died in 1865." "WHY WAS HE TRANSPORTED? Who was time traveling back to the 1860s? and if they were in the 1860s, why were they beaming up Presidents?" "HARDMODE: No time travel! He was transported out of open space in 2269, because he had been recreated by the local mineral beings on their lava-planet" "why... why did the lava aliens recreate a 19th century Earth president?" "To study GOOD AND EVIL!" "Like you do, I guess?" "Yeah... anyway, the recreated Lincoln got killed by a spear, thrown by either Genghis Khan or Kahless the Unforgettable" "THE FOUNDER OF THE KLINGON EMPIRE?" "Yeah! he got recreated too. And teamed up with Genghis." "No. no no no no no you made this up" "It's real! Check it out, there's a message here to the diplomatic department, asking for the proper protocol to accept a 19th century US president abort a quasi-military vessel. And there's a video clip! Hit play on that..."

"Man, video quality was terrible back in 2269" "Yeah, they were using analog tapes back then. Don't ask why. Retrotechnology studies are so complicated even without timetravel messing everything up. So yeah, apparently the answer is 'dress uniforms, security guys, whistle'" "oh yeah. You can't welcome a 19th century Earth president on board without a whistle. Where's your sense of ceremony!?"

"So I really have to go, my Intermediate Klingoneese class starts in like 5 minutes, but just tell me one thing: Who was the 2nd weirdest transporter visitor on the logs?" "Oh! Samuel Clemens." "Who?" "Mark Twain! Earth author, wrote Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn?" "What? How?" "Yeah, a crew found a time portal that went back to 1893, while trying to figure out why the head of one of their crewmembers was in a cave on earth, and accidentally sent him forward to 2368, and beamed him aboard." "Did they wipe his memory afterwards or something?" "NOPE!" "So the 19th century Earth author Mark Twain, who I'm now remembering wrote a novel about time travel, didn't he?" "yep!" "So he wrote about time travel and HAD PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH IT?" "Yeah! thanks to snake aliens, eating humans in the past"

"Yeah I'm gonna go ask my teacher how they say 'You deserve to die for your lies' on Qo'noS" "I think it's... Hegh nep qotlh SoH? maybe 'urmang instead of nep?" "I'M OUT, petaQ!"

(a transcript of a twitter thread I made from back in July 2020)

[specialagentartemis]

Something always fascinating to me is the "character who thinks they're in a different genre" phenomenon. The theme of the story you are telling determines what the right and wrong actions to take are; but the characters, reacting in-universe to the situation, don't know what story they're in, and the exact same responses can be what saves you or damns you depending on what kind of story the author is telling and what the story's message is about what life is like.

In Wolf 359, Warren Kepler approaches the mysterious and powerful aliens with threats; he kills their liaison and tries to position himself as a powerful opponent. However, he's shown to be wrong and making things worse: his preemptive aggression is unwarranted and unhelpful and bites him in the ass. The aliens want to communicate and understand humanity and share our music. It's Doug Eiffel, the pacifistic (and kind of scaredy-cat) communications officer who loves to talk and share pop culture, who talks to them and understands that the aliens are scary not because they want to kill us but because they don't understand the concepts of individuals and death. Talking to them, communicating with them, understanding where they're coming from and and bringing them to understand a human point of view, is what succeeds. Openness rather than suspicion, trust rather than aggression. Kepler thinks he's a dramatic space marine protecting the Earth from the alien threat by showing them humans are tough and can take them, but that's not the kind of story this is.

Conversely, in Janus Descending, Chel is in awe of the strange and beautiful alien world around her. She wants to touch it, understand it, get up close to it. When she sees a crystal alien dog, she wants to befriend it, despite Peter's warning. But when she gets close to it, extending her arm in greeting, it attacks her and drags her down into the cave to try to eat her. This sets the inevitable tragedy in motion. Suspicion is warranted; trust will get you killed. Because this is a sci-fi horror, with a major running thematic reading about how racism and sexism will destroy your brain and your society, and how the people who think they're too smart to be prejudiced don't see their own prejudice and will end up ruining the lives of the people they still don't fully see as equals, this kind of trust that Chel shows this strange alien is tragic. However it is also a horror story where there are very real hibernating space snakes ready to wake up and eat the fresh meat that has landed on their planet, and by being too trusting Chel has accidentally introduced herself to one.

Kepler, suspicious and ready to shoot any alien he doesn't understand, would likely have survived Janus Descending; Chel, with her enthusiasm for learning about and meeting aliens, would have been a wonderful and helpful member of the Wolf 359 crew.

In a similar manner, in Alien, Ellen Ripley yells to the rest of her crew not to bring the attacked crewmember with the alien on his face back on the ship and into the medical bay, you don't know what contamination that thing might have; she's ignored. She tells them not to let the crewmember out of quarantine even though he seems fine; she's ignored again. Ripley is the one person protesting this isn't safe, we don't know what's going on, and she is consistently ignored, until an alien bursts out of her crewmate's chest and then eats everyone and Ripley is proven to be right and also the only survivor. (And it turns out that the science officer consistently overriding her protests was an android sent by the company that contracted them, and said android was given orders to bring the alien back so the company could study it and do weapons development with it, try not to let the crew find out about it, and kill them if he had to in order to do so!)

Ripley's paranoia and mistrust of the situation was correct, because Alien is a space horror and the theme is in space no one can hear you scream (also corporations consider you expendable).

Conversely, in All Systems Red, we have a damaged and almost-combat-overridden Murderbot being brought back into the PreservationAux hab medical bay after being attacked by other SecUnits. Gurathin becomes the one person protesting this isn't safe, we don't know what's going on, he doesn't want to let Murderbot out because it's hacked and probably sabotaging them for the company contracted their security and sent it with them. Gurathin thinks he is the Ellen Ripley here! He is trying to warn his teammates not to make a dangerous mistake that will get everyone killed!

However, All Systems Red is a very different story than Alien, and Murderbot is neither a traitor on behalf of the company to sabotage them and steal alien remnants for weapons development, nor a threat to the humans - it's a friend, it's a good person, and it wants to help them against both companies willing to screw them over. Trusting it and helping it is the right thing to do and is what saves their lives. Gurathin is proven to be wrong.

If everyone on the Nostromo crew had listened to Ellen Ripley, they would still be alive (except Kane. RIP Kane), because this is a horror story about being isolated and hunted and going up against this horrifying thing that wants to kill and eat you and just keeps getting stronger. If everyone on the PreservationAux team listened to Gurathin, they would all be dead, because this is a story about friendship and teamwork and trust and overcoming trauma and accepting the personhood of someone very different from you.

Same responses. Different context. And so very different moral conclusions.

Warren Kepler was about how the brash violent over-confident approach to things you don't understand is wrong, and that openness and developing that understanding between people is what's important; Chel was about the tragedy of trust destroying a Black woman who wanted so much to believe in a world that could be kind and beautiful. Ripley was about a woman whose expertise and safety warnings were ignored and brushed aside and everyone who did so died because of it; Gurathin was about how even justified fear shouldn't mean you make someone else a scapegoat and mistrust them because they seem scary.

Sometimes you're in the wrong genre because you need to be, because the author is trying to show how not to react to the situation they set up in order to build the mood and the theme they're trying to convey.

[somanyratsinthewalls]

Prescribed Medicine (+18)

Prescribed Medicine (+18 Law x Reader)

Summary: Law knows you have trauma. He wants to help you look past it. The doctor orders a risky procedure. Will it be successful?

Pairing: Law x afab!reader

WC: 3900 lmao

AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS DNI

TW: MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING. This fic hints that the reader has experienced sexual trauma. I understand the delicacies in this matter and have not tried to highlight them any more than necessary for the plot. sex, kissing, pet names, praise, doctor play, vaginal sex, oral sex, fingering, begging, crying.

*Get off of me! You’re sick! No!*

“No!” You sat straight up in your bed, chest heaving trying to catch your breath. Sweat dripped down your neck, staining the grey tank top you had on. Another nightmare. You had been having them almost every night lately. Every time you close your eyes you see those men and live through what they did to you over and over again…

—

As a much younger woman, your island was raided by violent pirates and burnt to the ground. During the fire you snuck onto the pirates ship while they pillaged and destroyed your home. You hid in a storeroom and shook while you imagined what they were doing to your friends and family back on the island. You had to save yourself. 

To your dismay, upon discovering you holed up in a broom closet, the pirates took you straight to Sabaody and sold you to the slave auction. A young, beautiful virgin woman fetched a high price. 

You spent the next 5 years as a slave. Being bounced around from master to master, having to do more depraved and violent acts each time. Until one day your life changed forever. Your weak body and mental state had left you a lifeless husk. When you overhead the whispers of your fellow slaves that there was a strong pirate crew liberating the slaves you barely even looked up. It was probably just a rumor. There would be no end to your suffering, this was your life now. 

But they were right! The pirates had handily took out your brutal captors and no less than an hour later, men in white jumpsuits were removing your shackles and cuffs. The other slaves all ran to the docks, cheering, trying to get a ship back to their home islands as fast as possible. You however, just stood there. You were in the middle of the plaza in town, surrounded by bodies… no… not bodies… body parts? The men had been sliced into neat, tidy pieces and littered across the ground. Who could have done this?

“Aren’t you going to run?” A deep voice rumbled from around 20 feet behind you. You whipped your body around, shocked out of your trance. There stood one of the most powerful pirates in the New World, a Warlord of the Seas. 

“Trafalgar Law…” You said more to yourself than anyone else. 

“I didn’t ask you my name, I asked if you were going to run.” He says nonchalantly as he crosses his arms in front of him and leans back. “You’re free. Go.” Law turns on you and starts to walk away when you yelled out. 

“I don’t have anywhere to go. My home was burned. This is all I have.” 

Law stopped in his tracks but didn’t turn towards you. “Hm. And what can you do? Anything useful?”

“I.. I can cook… pretty well actually. My parents owned a bed and breakfast on my home island. I can clean… and I… I can fight too… well.. at least I could…” 

There was a long silence. You could see the gears in his brain turning just by staring at the back of his head. 

“Alright. Let’s go then.”

“What?” You asked, tilting your head. 

“You’re coming with me. Our cook sucks. It’d be nice to have a decent meal after all of this.” Law didn’t turn toward you, just started walking back to his ship. You said nothing. You couldn’t believe that he was inviting you to join his crew.. one of the most powerful pirates to ever live was asking you to join him at sea. But, what choice did you have? You could go with him and risk your life on a journey of piracy and probably die in the process, or you could stay and rot here.

You saw him walk further and further away from you, so you started jogging after him… fully committing to your new life.

—

“Fuck” 

You started to sob. All you could think of was your past, the things that befell you during your time as a slave. You needed to distract yourself. After you wiped your tears and blew your nose, you hopped up out of your bed and pulled on a pair of black joggers over your panties. After pulling the door of your small stateroom aboard the Polar Tang open, you made your way to the kitchen. Trying to slow your heart and catch your breath, you brewed a cup of tea. Sitting at the counter in the galley with your tea, you let your head fall back and eyes close with an exasperated sigh. 

“No sleep for you either?”

Your head shot up and you opened your eyes. 

“God damnit, Law. You have to stop doing that.” You scolded him for having a habit of sneaking up on people. 

“It’s not my fault you have poor hearing and can’t tell when I’m coming.” He smirked at you. Law walked toward the counter and sat down sat the stool next to you. You look up at his grey eyes and they met yours. He was searching for something. He saw that they were bright red and your eyelids are puffy. There was no hiding that you had been crying. You hung your head back down.

“The nightmares… they’re back, huh?” He knew. This wasn’t the first time you’d had periods of night terrors due to your past mistreatment. He could always tell. He rarely slept so he knew when someone else was awake on the sub. Sounds traveled far under the sea. He could hear your wracked sobbing or your feet pacing across your room trying to calm yourself down from a panic attack. His normally unaffected heart couldn’t help but feel for you.

Without an answer from you, he continued. 

“I want you to come to my office tomorrow night. I think… I think I know what treatment you need…” Your head shot back up to meet his eyes when you heard him.

“You mean… you can make them go away? The nightmares?”

“I don’t know, y/n, but don’t you want to at least try?”

You nodded. 

“Good. Go back to your room. Try and get some rest.”

Law stood up and walked out of the galley. You finished your tea and stared at the empty mug. What did he mean? What kind of treatment? It had been a year of sailing together now and he hasn’t offered any sort of procedure or medication so far. Why now? 

—

It was 9:55 PM the next evening and you were checking yourself in the mirror before you were going to head down to Law’s office/surgical room. After smoothing out your hair and your off-white jumpsuit, you left your stateroom and walked nervously down the narrow hallway towards your captains office. Upon reaching his door you stood still starting at the doorknob, unable to move your body another inch. 

“Come in, y/n” Law said as the doorknob turned and the door creaked open. Fucking haki. 

You gingerly walked into the office. It had been so long since you had been here… His tall bookcases so unorganized with some books facing the wrong way outward. It smelled like him… a musky, mysterious scent. Law was hunched over at his desk, going over some maps of the New World. 

“I’m glad you could make it. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this for awhile.” He says as he rolls up the maps and moves towards his bookcase. He’s being so casual about all of this while you’re nervous out of your mind. He hasn’t even looked at you. It’s like you’ve come to him for a band-aid, not a life altering cure. Law grabs a large book off the shelf and brings it back to his desk. He finally looks up at you as he opens it and flips through the pages. 

“Sit.” He nods towards a leather char next to his desk. You oblige.

He settles on a page in the book, which you now realize is a psychiatric textbook.

“Post traumatic stress disorder.”

You stare blankly at the words he’s pointing to in the book. You didn’t know what to say.

“People who have experienced massive, violent trauma often suffer from side effects long term, even years after the event. Effects include night terrors, panic attacks, trouble focusing, and other psychical symptoms… Y/n this is what you have. I am certain. It’s no surprise after what those..” He slams his fist onto his desk next to the textbook. “.. Those fucking monsters did to you. I am so sick and tired of seeing you suffer every day and every night because of what happened.”

He crouches down next to you seated in the chair. He looks directly into your welling eyes.

 "I want to help you. Will you let me? Y/n, do you trust me?”

Tears were threatening to spill over, could he really fix your pain? Did he have that ability? And he would do it… for you?

You nodded. 

“Captain… please help me…”

“Hm.” He nodded his head and stood up. “I need you to go next door into the operating room. Remove your clothes, all of them. Lay on your back on the table. I will be in in a few moments.”

Law left the room. You stood there in shock. You had no idea what was going to happen or what he had up his sleeve. He had essentially just told you that your brain was broken and he was going to fix it. You finally collected yourself and you went towards the door of the operating suite he kept next to his office. You walked into the cold, sterile room. There were machines, surgical instruments, a large operating table… nothing comforting. 

But, not wanting to displease your captain you followed his orders to the Nth degree. You zipped down the front of your jumpsuit and let it slide off your shoulders onto the floor. 

*remove your clothes, all of them* you heard Law in your head. You slipped your sports bra over your head and you pulled your panties down to the floor. Finally fully bare, you hopped up onto the operating table and laid down on your back. You expected there to be some sort of blanket to cover your body with, he was a doctor, wasn’t he? But there was nothing. You were completely nude staring up at the fluorescent lights. 

The doorknob turned and your head instinctively snapped in its direction. Law came in wearing gloves and a white coat. 

“Y/n… literature suggests that sufferers of post traumatic stress can be aided by turning those negative feelings into positive ones. In a way, replacing the memories of those events with more pleasurable ones.” 

You were confused, but he stared into your eyes and you saw a flash of warmth. He wanted to help you. You gestured for him to continue.

“My plan of treatment is to give your body intense sexual, physical pleasure slowly over time to retrain your brain into associating those things with good memories as opposed to the bad ones.” 

“Intense what-?” You must have misheard him. There’s no way he said what you thought he did. 

“Y/n those horrific cretins took your body from you, I intend to fight to get it back. You deserve your own autonomy. If you trust me, I’d like to begin.” He said as he pulled the metal foot stirrups from the corners of the operating table and folded them up. “Scoot down and place your feet in here and we can get started.” 

You moved down to do as you were told. You hesitantly opened your legs. You knew that it wasn’t pretty. You had experienced such hardships that things weren’t looking as nice as they should. You opened them anyway and slotted your feed up into the cold stirrups. 

Law rolled his stool over to between your legs and sat down. 

“I am going to touch you now, okay? If anything is uncomfortable at any point I need you to say ‘stop.’”

You nodded.

“No, y/n. I need you to tell me you understand.”

“I understand, Captain.” 

Law leaned in and inspected your pubic area. He saw the scars and deep cuts that were left on your inner thighs from those disgusting monsters long ago. He ran his gloved finger over the ones on your right leg. You jolted from his touch, so startled by someone touching you there. You didn’t like it. It reminded you of the last time someone tried touching you there. 

“Law.”

“I can stop. But just breathe for a second.” Law looked at a monitor across from him but behind your head. “Your heart rate is at 124, try thinking of something else. Remember when we landed on that tropical resort island? And Penguin tried taking that girl back to the ship?” 

You chuckled. That was such a nice day. Nothing but sun and pampering yourself. You read your book on a pool float while waiters served you endless margaritas. Law paid for everything of course, happily watching you from a shaded lounge chair. He loved seeing you relaxed. It was hard, due to Penguin and Shachi constantly trying (and failing) to pick up women and Bepo complaining that this was not the correct environment for someone with a fur coat. But Law tuned them all out, seeing you smiling and content floating in the sparkling water… in the tiniest yellow bikini he’d ever seen… You were the only thing on his mind.

“Yeah, Law," You breathed out heavily. "I remember that. It was a fun day.” He continued to slowly stroke up and down your inner thighs, getting you used to having his hands on you. 

“I remember the bathing suit you wore… When you jumped into the pool it bunched up on your ass. I watched you adjust it, and pull your top down.” He laughed softly. “Your tits are incredible. Your whole body, really y/n.”

Law had never spoken to you like this. He found you attractive? He watched you in your swimsuit and thought about your body? You had pined for him for so long, there was no way that he felt the same way. Maybe he was just talking like this to get you more receptive for his treatment… but it was working. 

“You.. you think so?” You stutter out as he gently grazes his right hand over your heat. 

“Of course I do. I’ve always thought that. Such a perfect little thing you are y/n.” Law’s tattooed hand finally moves to rest over your whole mound and pussy.  Your hips buck instinctively. This was nothing like anything you were used to. 

“The procedure is going well. I can see you’re becoming more lubricated. Far more, actually. I am going to touch you here now, y/n.” 

Before you could protest he  takes his pointer and middle finger together to stroke the sides of your now engorged clit up and down. 

“Oh! Law!” You shout and lean up on your elbows. “I… That feels… Oh my god…”

Law takes his fingers and now applies pressure to your bud and rubs it in smooth, tight circles. You feel your lower abdominal muscles tightening and releasing outside of your control. 

“Talk to me y/n. How does this feel?” Law asks, his eyes never leaving your dripping cunt. 

“I.. It feels? Pressure? It feels warm, it feels.. fuck, it feels like so much Law” 

“But good or bad? Does it feel good? Your pussy is leaking all over the operating table. Do you enjoy when I rub you like this? When I treat you like my sweet little girl?” He was so serious. It was like he was taking notes on a mental pad in his brain. 

“YES! Fuck yes, Law, yes this is good I don’t want you to stop.” Your chest was heaving, you had never experienced a sensation like this before. You only knew pain, not pleasure. You felt Law’s other hand ghost over your thigh. 

“Ok y/n I think you’re ready for the second part of the procedure. I am going to insert my fingers into your hole now.” He said it so casually, like he was prescribing you an aspirin. 

Law continued rubbing your clit with one hand as he took his two fingers and slowly pushed them into your sopping wet hole. You gasped and jolted at the intrusion. Your mind started to go a darker place…

“Hey y/n it’s me, I’m right here. Your captain is right here. It’s me. It’s just us, okay? Try to keep your eyes open for me, sweets.”  He felt your muscles tense so he rested the side of his face on your thigh. The scruff of his facial hair brought you back to reality. He was looking up at you to gauge your facial expressions. You looked down at him breathing heavily, he smirked at you from between your legs as he began to crook his fingers up and pull on them. 

“FUCK, Law!” You shouted, forgetting that everyone else on the Polar Tang would hear you. 

“Perfect, that’s perfect. Keep your eyes on mine, sweet. You’re doing so well for me. I am so proud of you, y/n you’re being so good.” He praised your endlessly while his two hands worked your pussy into a soaking mess. 

“Law I’m starting to feel weird…”

“Weird how, describe your symptoms to me.” He was back in doctor mode. 

“Like… Like there’s something in my belly that’s big and swollen. It feels like my skin is hot. It feels like something is going to burst… it feels like I have to pee but I don’t? Law there’s so much pressure, Law, please help me I don’t know what it is! Stop!”

Quickly Law pulls out his fingers and stops his motions on your clit. 

“Room.”

A light blue tinge covers your space. He raises his right hand, tips of his two fingers glistening with your slick. His doctors notepad and a pen come flying into his hands. He furiously takes notes. 

“Hmm… Yes…. Better than expected…”

Your body started to ache. An ache you’ve never experienced before. He flips his pad over and looks through previous notes he had taken. You realize they were all about you and your condition. He had been watching you for awhile. 

“Y/n… have you ever experienced an orgasm?” Law asks after he closes his pad and sets it down. 

You flop backwards on the operating table, unable to look at him with your answer. 

“No. No I haven’t.”

“I see…” Law looks over your sweaty, heaving body. He knew you were frustrated by not achieving release, even if you didn’t know. “I’d like you give that to you. I think it’s what’s best for your treatment. Would you allow me to do that?”

“… how…?” You knew where this was going. 

“I’d like to fuck you, Miss y/l/n.” He smirked down at you from the side of the table. “I believe I can make this all go away soon.”

You were hesitant. 

“Ok…”

“Y/n listen to me.” He grabs your hand and pulls it to his chest and looks into your eyes. “I promise I won’t hurt you. I won’t hurt you and I won’t let anyone else hurt you ever again. You’re mine now. I’d kill anyone for you.” He was confessing. This wasn’t about your treatment anymore. He let his feelings take over. It as no longer doctor/patient. It was no longer captain/crewmate. This was 2 lovers. 

You were nervous, but you trusted him. You brought your hand that was still held in his up to his cheek. 

“Fuck me, Law. Make love to me. Fix me.” 

He stripped his white coat and gloves first. Yellow baseball tee and hat went next. After he was out of his jeans and boxers, your mouth was agape at the size and girth of his hard cock. Clearly the “procedure” was affecting him just as much as it was you. He hopped up on top of you on the operating table swiftly. He locked eyes with you before he brought his face down to give you a soft, yet fully passionate kiss. Your lips moved together slowly, you moaned softly into his mouth.

Going back into doctor mode, Law looks down between you and grabs his cock to line it up with your hole. 

“I am going to push inside of you now, y/n. Tell me if there’s any discomfort.” 

He presses the weeping tip of his massive dick into your pulsing warm hole. You begin to get stretched out and instinctively slam your eyes shut. 

“Hey, hey. No. With me.”

Law holds your cheeks with the hand that wasn’t holding himself up on top of you. 

“I need you to know you’re here with me. No one else. Just us.” His breath was ragged, now that’s fully pressed  inside of you his calm demeanor seems to dissolve.  You open your eyes and look up at him.

“That’s my girl… that’s my good girl…” He coos to you looking into your eyes as he starts thrusting. He lets go of your face as he lifts your hip upwards onto his strong thighs. His cock was pressing hard into a spot inside of yourself you didn’t know existed until 40 minutes ago. 

“Law! It’s there! It’s right there! Please don’t stop!” You shrieked at him, no longer knowing yourself. That strange “weird” feeling starting to come back in your belly but it was coming on much faster than last time. 

“Law wait I feel it again…”  You push your hands on his shoulders.

“That’s you about to cum, sweets. I promise it will feel so good. Don’t fight it anymore y/n. I want you to cum on my cock. It’s going to feel so good. It’s totally normal and healthy. Let it go. Do you trust me?” He punctuated his sentences with strong grinds against your spot. 

You did trust him. You’d do anything for him. He was your captain, and now your lover. 

“Law I-“ You moaned out louder than you ever have. Your vision went blurry and your body lurched forward as your muscles spasmed. Your cunt tingled and squeezed without your permission. You could barely breathe it felt so incredible. 

“Such a good job you did, y/n. You did so perfect. You’re the perfect patient. You’re the perfect girl for me. I want you forever, y/n. Oh sweets I’m going to cum-“ Law let out a strained groan as he pushed his hips into yours as far as they would go. You felt his cock pulse within you, pushing out his hot seed. 

His head lolled forward after your pussy was finished milking his cock. He kissed your lips gently before pulling out of you. Your brain was hazy and foggy. Law was saying something to you but you were so relaxed that you felt yourself drifting into sleep already. He carried you bridal style, fully nude back to his captains suite. You fell asleep immediately in his strong, tattooed arms. 

—

You woke up after an uninterrupted 12 hour of sleep. You couldn’t even recall the last time you got more than 2 without having nightmare. But when you woke up, Law’s bed was empty other than you. Had he regretted helping you? Changing your relationship forever? You brain ran a mile a minute before Law walked in with a tray from the galley holding a few pieces of toast, a glass of water and a little white pill.  He smiled at you. 

“I’d say your procedure was a success.”

He set the tray down in front of you. 

“You should drink a lot of water today. You lost a lot of fluids last night.” He smirked to himself at his dirty implication. 

“What’s with the meds?” You gestured at your tray. 

“There’s enough crazy pirates out here in the New World. Let’s not add one more.”

You laughed, realizing what it was. You swallowed the pill with your water and took a bite of the toast. Law added,

“Not now… at least…” 

[soapsilly]

Redemption - Roronoa Zoro Imagine

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Spoilers for One Piece (?)

A/N: This is Part 2 for Betrayal, another Zoro imagine I wrote, so if you haven't read that I'd recommend you do that first.

Summary: After (Y/N) confessed to the Straw Hat Pirates that during their two year separation, she betrayed her boyfriend Zoro and had a child back on the island she was stranded on, she had to leave the group. But once her new home was under attack she had no other choice but to once again hope for the crew's help. Will they forgive her?

Part 3

Requests are closed

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Fire... smoke... screams...

She could see the clouds of smoke from miles away. Once she set foot on the island the first things that greeted her weren't the familiar smell of the autumn leaves or the sound of the market place but rather the smell of the burnt down huts and the pleas of the townspeople. Ever since Whitebeard's death two years ago pirates from all over the world set sail in search of the One Piece. It was exactly like after Gol D. Roger's execution all over again. But her little island? This wasn't where the One Piece was hidden. What these pirates wanted was merely to destroy, to pillage and to artificially drive up their bounty...

"We would never do that", the young woman thought to herself, "all our bounties were racked up for far better reasons. Luffy would never allow this" (Y/N) was well aware, that she herself was part of a notorious pirate crew - or rather she had been part of one until recently...

The realization hurt but she didn't have time to keep thinking about her misery. All that mattered right now was the little boy for whom she had given up everything. As fast as her feet would carry her she ran towards the edge of the forrest where the little cabin that she called her home stood.

She breathed a sigh of relief once she arrived and saw that the destruction of the village had not yet reached that part of the island. But she didn't plan to just sit by and wait for that to happen. The people on the island she called her home weren't fighters. If they were lucky there were a few handymen that knew how to handle tools and heavy machinery but that was about it. She knew that she could never take on those pirates on her own - even if she improved her strenght greatly in the span of those last two years. But she knew who could...

************************************************************************

"Are you sure you're okay?", she whispered, not wanting to get caught by the other Straw Hats.

"Pffft.. Never felt better", the swordsman dismissed her worries with a movement of his hand and continued undressing the woman that was lying underneath him. Calloused hands roaming her body, trying to take in as much of her as he could.

"But - But you should rest...", it became increasingly harder to string together coherrent sentences with the way Zoro was kissing down her chest.

"If you insist", with a swift movement he flipped them around and in an instant the witch was now on top her green-haired boyfriend, straddling him firmly.

She started laughing, "You know, that's not what I meant"

Not many people knew Zoro the way (Y/N) knew him. The other Straw Hats would probably describe him as a 'matter of fact' - guy. His playful side wasn't something he kept hidden - not at all. It's just that the stupid jokes were only funny when they left her lips.

"Hey, Zoro. Dinner's ready", Sanji's words pulled the swordsman out of his thoughts. Every since (Y/N)'s confession nobody on the ship acted normal around him anymore - well nobody except Luffy and Robin. Luffy was never the most delicate, which Zoro was grateful for and Robin probably knew that he just wanted to move on. Nami however didn't leave him alone, offered to speak, to be a shoulder to cry on. He appreciated her good intentions but he just wanted to repress the feelings, exercise and drink his pain away. But the thing that annoyed him the most was that shitty cook being so nauseatingly nice to him. Nami told Sanji that she would raise him hell if he even dared to think to start a fight with Zoro. But what she had achieved, was that the only little thing that the swordsman had left of his (Y/N) was now gone too. He remembered how amusing she found the fights he and curly-brows had - so much so that Zoro tried to initiate fights with the cook. But Sanji never took the bait no matter how hard he had to pull himself together. If Nami-swan wanted something from him, he would not disappoint.

************************************************************************

There she was, it was barely a week and a half since (Y/N) left the Thousand Sunny back on Sabaody but yet it felt like a lifetime. The witch took a few deep breaths before slowly making her way over to the ship. She was grateful that Robin told her that the crew would have to make a stop for supplies an island over before heading to Fish-Man Island. On her way over there, she had hoped that she didn't miss them, that they'd still be there and all the hoping seemed to have payed off. But the hardest challenge - convincing her former friends to help her after everything she put them trough - still lay ahead of her.

Much to her dismay the whole group was not only on the ship when she arrived, they were also in the middle of dinner.

"(Y/N), you came back!", Luffy's voice broke the silence. The girl realized that he genuinely sounded happy to see her. She wasn't quite sure if she felt happy that there was at least one person left on this ship that didn't hate her or sad because she had to tell him yet again, that she still wasn't coming back.

But before she (Y/N) could even attempt to say anything, Nami spoke up, "No, Luffy. She's not. What are you doing here?"

Her voice was cold - so much in fact, that (Y/N) needed two attempts to explain the reason for why she was there. Once she finally ended her plea for help there were a solid few seconds where nobody said a word. (Y/N) had mostly spoken to Luffy as the captain of the ship but she knew that it was really the navigator that she would have to convince to help her. She kept her eyes firmly trained on the Straw Hat anticipating his decision. She, of course, noticed Zoro's presence in the room - how could she not? - but right now all that mattered was that the crew agreed to help.

"Please, I wouldn't ask if I had any other choice...", (Y/N) added quietly after a few more seconds of silence.

"Of course, I'm coming to save you, (Y/N)-chan~", Sanji was the first one to speak up in his sing song voice with hearts in his eyes. For him it wasn't even a question at all. All he saw was a damsel in distress and he'd be the knight in shining armour to come and save the day. He could already picture himself as the hero of the battle and all the ladies clinging on to him to show their gratitude. It was Usopp that had to break the flirtatious cook out of his ramble with a slap on the back of his head.

"What are we even debating about? Of course, we're helping, guys! She's one of us", Chopper agreed. The ship's doctor was always a loyal soul. Chopper and (Y/N) both were outsiders before they met the Straw Hats so she knew how important his nakama were to him.

"No, Chopper. That's exactly the case! She's not. Not anymore", Nami objected, "she should've thought about that before betraying the whole crew. We can't always drop everything just because a former acquaintance happens to have a problem"

Nami liked to say that she was only upset for Zoro - and she really was. She knew that the mosshead was utterly in love with the other woman. She could tell from the way he would loosen up around her, she could tell by the way he would look after her to make sure nothing and nobody would ever upset or hurt her, she could tell by the way he was slightly - only slightly - less annoying when he was around her but the truth was also that Nami was hurt for herself too. (Y/N) was her friend, the first girl that joined the group before Robin finally made them a trio. They had talked about their plans and then (Y/N) just chose the domestic life over everything they had dreamed of?

"And what will you do the next time you'll be in trouble? We won't always be around to save the day", the red-head now spoke directly to (Y/N).

"I promise, I won't ever bother you again, but you haven't seen what I've seen. I'm not asking for myself..."

Of course, she wasn't asking for selfish reasons. Zoro knew that. (Y/N) always chastised him for being so stubborn. But the swordsman knew that she was honestly none the better. If he ever told her that, she'd never admit it but it was the truth. And so he also knew that (Y/N) was far to proud to come and ask them for help so soon after leaving the crew - well, except if she had no other choice. But it didn't really matter anyways, if she was in danger or even just in any type of discomfort, he'd always come and save her.

Zoro had heard enough, "We're helping"

It was the first time that (Y/N) looked at him since she entered the ship. She looked like a scared deer with how wide her eyes were. It was clear to him that she didn't expect him to stand up for her at all. Did she really think that lowly of him? Why did that thought sting? If Nami was anything to go by, he should hate her and helping her should be the last thing on his mind but he just couldn't help his feelings. This time it was Zoro that couldn't stand the tension, so he tore his eyes away from his ex-lover.

"Zoro, are you-", Nami seemed unsure.

"Either we all go or I'll go alone, I'm done talking about this", and with those words the swordsman stood up from the table and left the room. When he passed (Y/N) on the way out, he had to side-step as to not bump into her but just that act alone was the closest he's been to her in a long time.

"Guess, it's settled then", Luffy laughed, "(Y/N) lead the way!"

************************************************************************

Zoro and (Y/N) were lying on the deck of the Sunny at the moment talking about anything and eveything. Usually the mosshead would have a afternoon nap but instead (Y/N) and him decided spend some time together soaking up the last sunrays of the day.

"Is there anything else you want out of life?", (Y/N) asked her boyfriend, who had his head comfortable rested on her lap.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... other than becoming the world's greatest swordsman?"

"No, why would I?"

"Well, you made that promise to a friend when you were a child. You're a man now. Isn't there anyhting else that you could wish for? In addition to being the best? I mean what happens once you reach your goal?"

Zoro was quiet for a moment, it was clear to (Y/N) that her lover had truly never ever considered there possibly being more.

"Well, what about you then?", he positioned himself so that he was now looking up at her.

"I guess, I'd like to be married someday", she answered nonchalantly.

"Why?", Zoro's voice dripped with confusion but there was also somehting else... judgement maybe?

"I don't know, I think I just like the thought of having that special bond with a person, you know? Belonging together, having each other's back...", she trailed off towards the end. She could feel her cheeks heat up. Talking about feelings was so much easier when drunk...

"Oi! Everything okay with you?", Zoro sounded amused, "you sound exactly like curly-brows"

"Why? Because I want to belong somewhere?", she was irritated by his reaction.

"Don't be so dramatic", the swordsman rolled his eyes, "you belong to the crew like all of us"

She wiggled her way out from underneath him not wanting him on her anymore.

"Do you really not understand how that's different? I just don't want to be just someone's girlfriend for the rest of my life", she was starting to get frustrated now.

"Just someone's girlfriend? And being someone's wife is better? What kind of goal is that?", (Y/N) could sense that Zoro was not taking her seriously at the moment, which made her even more furious. Unfortunately the witch was an angry-crier, so wasn't long before the tears started to fill her eyes. When he saw her reaction, he added, "Damn, you are so sensitive"

"And you are always so goddamn insensitive! Talking to you is like talking to a brick wall!", (Y/N) knew she shouldn't yell but the way he was talking down to her made her feel so helpless.

"I don´t want to talk to you anyways when you're being so difficult. I should've just taken a nap", he was annoyed by her behavior.

"Fine!", with that she stood up and walked away from her boyfriend but as she was walking inside the Sunny she turned around telling him, "and for your information, the are some things that Sanji actually gets very right, you know..."

She knew that indirectly comparing him to the cook would rub him the wrong way but she really couldn't resist.

"Oi, are you actually trying to start a fight or what?!", Zoro yelled after her, raising his voice for the first time the entire conversation.

Zoro mindlessly sat by the railing sharpening his katanas. Would things be different today had he acted a little more sensitive during their fight? Back then he didn't pay it anymore mind. In fact, he didn't think (Y/N) would've either. They had had far bigger fights - or so he thought - but guess it was more important to her than he anticipated. Maybe he wasn't enough for her... Was she really that unhappy?

"Hey...", Zoro was pulled from his thoughts by (Y/N) herself. It was the first time that she directly spoke to him since her confession on Sabaody, "I just wanted to thank you for speaking up back then. You really saved us"

Us... Zoro felt a sting in his chest. Of course, her new man and their son. Helping her wasn't even a question for him but the thought that she was in that situation to begin with made him angry. What kind of man doesn't protect his family?

"Don't mention it", he grunted, still not looking up from his blades.

"No, I mean it. If it wasn't for you I don't know what I'd do", Zoro couldn't help but notice that the way she was talking to him wasn't as familiar anymore almost like they were strangers. First the crew and now (Y/N) too. All this tiptoeing around made him sick - he wasn't used to being pitied and he didn't like it. One bit. He would almost have preferred it if she had just sad down with him and talked... normally?

As if she had read his mind, she asked him if she could sit with him for a moment. She took the shrug she got in returned as a 'yes' and sat down opposite from him.

"Zoro... I - I really never meant to hurt you", she continued. He wasn't sure if he wanted to have this conversation now but the alternative was her leaving again, so...

"It's my own fault. I should've known better", he answered.

"What? Why would you say that?", the woman opposite of him truly sounded upset with his statement. She was trying to catch his eye but he adjusted himself so that he was now facing the water.

"I wouldn't give you what you wanted. I was too occupied with my goal of becoming the strongest. All the training, the exercising...", he trailed off towards the end. "Logical consequences", he tried to sound unbothered.

The witch furrowed her brows, "No... No, no. Where is that coming from?"

"You told me you wanted to get married someday and I didn't take you seriously"

She remembered the fight but hadn't thought about for ages - especially because - in her mind - it wasn't so big of a deal. But then again, the swordsman also never heard what happened after the fight.

When Sanji entered the dining area the first thing he noticed was a sniffling (Y/N). With the speed of lightning he was kneeling in front of her, tracing soothing cirlces on one of her hands.

"(Y/N)-chan! What happened? Who hurt you?", the cook jumped up from his position on the floor.

"It's nothing, Sanji. Just a little fight", she wiped her tears away and tried to smile up at him.

"Was it that stupid Marimo? I'm going to break his face for making you cry", he was already halfway out of the room before the witch could even react.

"Sanji, no, please don't", she pleaded. Usually she'd be the last person to stop either one of them from starting a fight with the other but this time was different.

When the blond heard how desperate she sounded he stopped in his tracks, instead he turned around and started to prepare some tea for himself and the girl.

Once the tea was served, he sat down with her, so they could talk.

"It's silly...", she tried to dismiss the problem but Sanji wouldn't have it.

"How silly can it be if it makes you cry?", at the mention of her tears she swore there were distinct flames in his irises.

"It's just... Zoro and I were talking about our goals in life and when I told him I'd like to get married someday, he didn't seem to like the idea"

"How could anybody say 'no' to a proposal from you? I would marry you in an instant ~", where the witch had seen flames a moment ago, there were now hearts in his irises.

"Oh yeah? Sanji, no offense but you'd marry any woman that's not on the tree by three", she couldn't help but laugh, "But in fact, I wasn't proposing to him. We were fighting because he's just so... insensitive? You know, sometimes it's like only his thoughts and feelings are what make sense to him and so other thoughts and feelings are irrational and therefore not valid..."

"Stupid.. selfish.. douchebag.. mosshead..", Sanji was talking more to himself than to the girl sitting opposite of him, "why are you even putting up with him? You could easily find a better man that would cherish you and worship the ground you walk on"

The witch was sure the cook was talking about himself but let it slide for the moment.

"I love him", she shrugged, "what you don't understand is, that I'd rather have a thousand fights and never ever get married than to marry somebody else"

In that moment, the cook genuinely could feel how serious the girl was.

" - but don't tell him that. Otherwise, I'll never get him to tie the knot", she quickly added.

"I wouldn't dream of it", the blond confirmed.

"So, and now let's make dinner, yes? I'm starting to get hungry", (Y/N) was nudged Sanji in the side, a bright smile lighting up her face.

To further cheer her up, the cook promised to prepare the witch's favourite meal for dinner and (Y/N) was happy to help and spend some more time with her friend.

(Y/N) was in the midst of stirring one of the many pots, that were cooking on the stove - with Luffy as their captain a single dish would never be enough - when she heard Zoro's voice from outside the kitchen.

"Oi! (Y/N) come quick! There's something I want to show you"

The girl turned to the cook, who by the look of it was busy with adjusting the taste with seasoning so every dish was nothing short of perfect.

"Is it okay if I leave you to it now?", she smiled.

"Are you sure? The stupid marimo didn't even apologize"

"Positive", she shrugged, "I'm not angy anymore and I'm sure he isn't either. Why waste time being pissed at each other when you could also just spend the time that you have together being happy?"

And with that she skipped towards the door leading to the deck where her stubborn, stupid marimo headed boyfriend was already waiting for her. But just before she could leave the kitchen she made an abrupt stop, returned to where she left the cook standing and gave him a kiss on the cheek, which almost made the receiver levitate.

"Thank you, Sanji"

"Zoro, no... There's nothing you could've said or done differently that would've changed anything. I'm... so sorry", she hoped that this would convince him that it really wasn't a 'him-issue' and that he shouldn't give up on love all together, but he remained silence. When she realized that he wouldn't answer her she made a move to get up but just before she could leave Zoro spoke up.

"I don't hate you, you know?", it was the first time during their conversation that he had looked at her - really looked her in the face. She could see that he still loved her. He has always been bad at articulating his emotions but that was okay for her because she could always tell how he felt about her. He showed her. Two years of seperations didn't change that.

She didn't expect him to say anything now - least off all that. Of course, she felt glad to hear it but still she couldn't help but to feel guilty... like she didn't deserve forgiveness for all the pain she caused.

"I wouldn't blame you", she sat back down.

"I could never. Three days are one thing. Two years a whole nother", he shrugged, "Besides, Nami hates you enough for the both of us"

The witch sat there shocked but once she saw Zoro's smirk, she let out a relieved laugh.

"I think Nami hates me enough for the whole crew", she giggled.

The two of them started teasing each ofther and for a moment it felt like before. Before Sabaody, before (Y/N)'s confession, before their separation.

"By the way, I like your dress", the woman told Zoro with a deadpan look. It took a few moments for her words to register in his mind before he started yelling.

"Dress?! Are you blind, woman??"

When she saw how frustrated he was with her she couldn't hold back her giggles.

Their laughs could be heard all over the Sunny, much to the bewilderment of a certain navigator.

"Look at that! How could he be laughing with her like that after everything she put him through?", she turned to Robin.

"They love each other. Feelings don't change from one day to another"

"Well, for her they apparently did...", Nami retorted.

The older woman sent the red-head a knowing smile but chose to stay silent.

************************************************************************

The battle was in full effect and (Y/N) was in awe of how strong everybody has become over these last two years. Even the self-proclaimed coward trio of Usopp, Nami and Chopper did a lot of damage to the enemy crew. A lot of parts of town have been destroyed during the fight but the witch knew that this was the lesser of two evils and the townspeople would work together once everything was over to build it up again.

"They're like vermin!", Nami shouted. She was right. The pirates weren't strong - at least not compared to the Straw Hats - but they were many and they were everywhere.

"Doesn't matter. We're stronger", Ruffy laughed.

During the fight (Y/N) felt like she never left the crew, working together like a well maintained machine. For a moment she forgot about the struggles and that all of this would be only temporary - that they would leave once the threat was over - but then a loud explosion pulled her back to reality. A cloud of black and grey smoke rose up from just outside of town where the forrest began.

"My house!", the young witch shouted, "I need to go- I need- I-"

The others could see the genuine fear in her eyes as she was running towards where the flames were blazing up from afar.

"I'm coming with you", Zoro started to follow her.

The girl stopped in her tracks, "Wait, no you can't come"

"Why? Don't be ridiculous. You'll need help"

"Yes, but not from you", she her voice sounded urgent, "Sanji? Can't you come? Or Robin?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? You're wasting time!", the swordsman was getting angry. Why would she rather want the waiter's help before his? He could keep her safer that any body else on the crew but of course she had to be stubborn again.

"Both of you are wasting time. I'm coming", Robin interjected. Zoro tried to object but before he could both of the women already took off.

"What are you hiding, (Y/N)?", the older of the two asked.

"You'll see soon enough"

************************************************************************

Once the fight was over the forrest floor around the hut was littered with pirates. Neither (Y/N) nor Robin believed in taking prisoners. Fortunately, (Y/N)'s little house and garden were unscathed.

"How?", Robin was puzzled.

The younger woman sent her a bright smile, "That's Mim's doing"

"Mim?"

And so (Y/N) told her about her mentor. Mim was an older woman - an old hag to be specific - that took care of (Y/N) when she landed on her island two years ago. She was strict and a little grim but also extremely warm-hearted and as chance would have it, she was known as the island's sorceress. At first (Y/N) believed that it was only hearsay, like it had been in her home village, but she quickly realized that the old lady was an actual witch and better yet - she would teach her.

"I see. So, your mentor protected your home with a spell", Robin concluded as the both of them walked over to the little hut.

As they walked up to the door, an old woman and a little child came up to them. When Robin saw the little boy with the green hair and the outstreched arms, she quickly realized why (Y/N) was so against Zoro accompanying her.

"You need to tell him, (Y/N)"

"I can't, Robin. It wouldn't change a thing"

"You don't know that", she insisted.

But before (Y/N) could give an answer, they heard the voice a certain green-haired swordsman.

"What wouldn't change a thing?"

(Y/N) stiffened up. When Zoro saw the little boy in her arms his eyes immediately grew wide. The whole crew waited in anticipation.

It was the toddler that broke the silence with his babbling, signaling for his mother to be wanting to be let down. Once she set him down the little boy immediately started to wobble his way over to Chooper, where he promptly fell on his behind and happily started to wildy gesture around.

"Is that - ? Why did- ? When-?", Zoro was lost for words and so were the others. It was Nami that spoke up first.

"(Y/N)...", she walked over to the other girl and hugged her tight, "I'm so sorry"

"You didn't know", she assured the navigator, "to be honest? I probably would have reacted the same way". She sent her friend a half-smile.

"Ma-ma?", the toddler demanded his mother's attention, two fists full of Chopper's fur in both of his chubby hands.

"Ah. No, no. Leave the nice Tanuki alone, honey", she walked over to the little boy scooping him up in her arms again, ignoring the ship doctor's protests over the misidentification.

Zoro cleared his throat to get her attention back to him. As much as he enjoyed the moment of reconciliation, he still thought there was some things the two of them had to talk about.

Within seconds the mood switched yet again and all of a sudden everybody was reminded of the reality of the situation they were in.

"Maybe we should give those two a minute or two...", Robin suggested.

"Yeah", (Y/N) answered but didn't take her eyes off of Zoro, "Sanji, why don't you cook something nice for us? The fridge should be stocked...". Her suggestion was met with instant approval from their ever hungry captain.

Sanji just nodded, still not having processed the newly gained information. How could the marimo be a father??

Nami made grabby hands towards the Mini-Zoro in (Y/N)'s arms. Usually she was rather unimpressed with babies. But this was different. This baby belonged to her best friend and... Zoro.

"Come to aunty Nami", (Y/N) didn't hesitate for a moment to hand him over to the red-head. Had it been Luffy or Usopp she'd think twice but she trusted Nami to take care of her baby.

"I'll leave you two to it, so you can talk", the navigator continued, "What's the little man's name by the way?"

"Oh, I decided to name him Sanji", (Y/N) answered seriously.

"Excuse me?!", Zoro was shocked.

"Just joking! I'm sorry", she tried to calm the mosshead down. From behind her, she could see Usopp and Nami snickering behind their hands and Sanji nearly dying of heart palpitations. "It's Sora", she added quietly as the others left her and the swordsman alone.

"Is (Y/N) coming back now?", the witch heard Chopper ask somewhere in the background but she didn't have the mental capacity to think about anything but Zoro at the moment.

"Sora...", he repeated thoughtfully once they were alone, "Does he- does he have my name?"

(Y/N) felt anxious. Would he like that?

"Well...", she started but had to stop because she didn't know what to say, "I mean... yeah?"

"Roronoa Sora...", Zoro didn't know how to properly express his feelings in the moment. Hell - he didn't even know himself. But he knew that he liked the sound of that.

"Why didn't you say anything?", he asked her. It was almost like a plea.

"Would it have changed anything? I didn't want to burden you"

"Burden me?", he was in disbelief, "How could you ever burden me?"

"Don't you understand? I was alone on this island. All alone and I had to make a decision" she was getting emotional - for the first time since her confession. There were no more jokes and funny digs to mask how she really felt.

Zoro felt terrible, he knew how hard it was for her to feel isolated and then to go through something like this without any help? When they first got together he would've never thought that he'd ever grow so attached to the girl but it didn't take long for him to really fall madly and deeply in love with her. Sometimes he'd feel bad that couldn't really express how he truly felt for her but he promised himself he would do anything in his power to protect her. But he couldn't even do that.

"You had your goal... and... and... I never wanted to hold you back", (Y/N) couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore. Being separated from him was the worst feeling in the world but she would give up everything and more for him.

Zoro pulled her into his chest, holding her close and tucking her head underneath his chin. From the way hear hands would immediately grab at his robe, it was noticeable how much she missed his touch.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry you felt like you had to lie", he hated that she felt like she had to protect him. The crew - especially Nami - had been so terrible to her, "I love you more than anything..."

She pulled back and looked up at him. Tears still streaming down her face. Even now, he couldn't help but to think how beautiful she was. And for the first time in over two years his lips met hers.

The kiss wasn't hungry or sensual. Zoro could taste the salt from her tears on her lips but it didn't bother him at all.

Once they broke apart she smiled up at him, "I've missed you"

************************************************************************

"Are you sure?", Nami shouted down from the Sunny.

"A pirate ship is no place for a child", (Y/N) answered back.

It's been a week since the fight. The townspeople were already in the process of building up what's been broken and it was time for the Straw Hats to move on. Of course, the offered the witch to join them again but nothing changed for her. She had to think about her son first and foremost - as much as she would miss life on the sea. Most of the crew already boarded the ship. It was only Zoro left on the beach with (Y/N) and their son.

"I guess it's goodbye then, huh?", the witch had a sad smile on her face.

"I promise it's not forever. As soon as Luffy is pirate king I'll come back for you... both of you", the mosshead still wasn't the most secure in his new role as a father but as long as he had (Y/N) he knew that it'd be alright.

(Y/N) went in for what would be the last hug for a long, long time, "Promise me you'll be safe. Who's gonna make you take care of yourself when I'm not there?", she smiled.

The two of them exchanged a few more kisses and 'I love you's before the crew told them it was time to depart. During the last hug, Sora, who was seated in his mothers arm reached, out and grabbed his father's cheek with a happy laugh. Zoro furrowed his brows for a moment but then quickly started grinning.

"And you keep an eye out for your mother, yes?"

The toddler babbled as if to confirm that he understood his father's order.

A loud sob disrupted the family moment. When they turned to the Sunny they saw the whole crew smiling down at them - much to the discomfort of Zoro, who was still not entirely at ease with PDA. It was Franky that the initial sob came from. The cyborg has always been prone to tears but on closer examination it was almost the whole crew that was at least a little teary-eyed. Everyone except Luffy, who had a puzzled look on his face.

"Oi, that baby looks like Zoro..."

That sentenced earned him a hefty slap at the back of the head from nami and a hearty laugh from (Y/N).

"I'm gonna miss you guys so much", she smiled through tears.

"We'll be back before you know it, (Y/N)-chan~", Sanji shouted down to her.

"Oi! Let my girlfriend alone! Nobody's gonna miss you", the swordsman, who had joined the others on the ship by now, yelled at the cook.

(Y/N) stayed on the beach listening to the two of them fight until they were too far away to make out the words anymore. Then she turned to the little mosshead in her arms.

"Guess, it's just us now huh? Roronoa Sora..."

***

Tag List: @ikissnishiki, @multi-writer-personal-blog

[ronwestbreeze]

you're gonna go far | 3

pairing: jake sully x neytiri x tsu'tey x fem!human! reader summary: a scientist arrives on pandora (unwillingly) a year after the exile of the rda. now she must deal with the likes of a clan leader, a great warrior, and a thanator rider. . . word count: 8.2k warnings: depictions of depression (not too explicit)

read on ao3

The view of Pandora from the sky should’ve been amazing. Your heart should’ve leaped many times over as the Samson ship flew over many beautiful sights of nature. It should’ve finally occurred to you that you were on the planet of your dreams, that you were witnessing the life of Pandora, mask and all.

Instead, you just stared at the world as if you weren’t in your own body. Floating outside of it and looking down at yourself. It hurt that you practically didn’t recognize yourself anymore. And you wished you could blame it on your current circumstance but even before you were brought to Pandora, before your mother’s forest had withered away, you had always had this familiar feeling. This dislike of what you were becoming.

Bitter. Resentful. The child-like wonder, long gone. You hated what you saw. You hated how so easily you believed back then that your own mother would’ve abandoned you—forgotten you simply because she was on a different planet. How selfish could you have gotten?

You had been burying yourself in jealousy while your mother was already six feet below you.

In the corner of your eye, you spotted Jake flying next to the ship, on one of those winged creatures. You hadn’t noticed Norm, who sat across from you, watching your expression with a frown. You hadn’t realized he’d seen the dullness in your eyes, the exhaustion making you way older than you were. You weren’t even that old actually—but the world aged you. In a way, no one should have to experience.

“They’re called ikrans.” You dragged your eyes toward Norm who nodded his head toward the creature Jake was flying on. Both of you watched as he flew by and took to the front, leading the Samson ship. “It’s who the Na’vi bond with for life. And their way to get around. It’s a lot better than walking, I can tell you that.”

He chuckled a little while you nodded absentmindedly, barely taking in the information he was giving you.

“You’ll definitely appreciate the life here a lot more when you’re steering your avatar.” Norm added on after a pause. 

Okay, he must’ve noticed your lack of interest at some point, right? Why was he so adamant to have a conversation with you? What exactly was he trying to accomplish?

Your mind spurred slowly as you finally watched him, both warily and with interest. Maybe you could take advantage of his talkative mood and gain some type of understanding here. Maybe it would help your mind focus on anything else at the moment. That always helped. Forcing your brain to hyper-fixate on something else besides your own psyche.

“Tell me about the war.” You finally said to him. Norm raised his brows, startled. “Clearly, I have no idea what exactly happened a year before I arrived. And DeVoe didn’t either, considering she thought she would win against the attack on our ship. Clearly, she forgot that a lot could happen during five years of cryosleep.”

With that, he nodded, “Yes, you’re right.” You watched his thoughtful expression turn to sorrow, as his gaze went back to the view below them.

A view you should’ve been looking at too. But for some reason, you just couldn’t bring yourself to do it. It hurt too much. It would only keep reminding you…

“There used to be this place called the Kelutral.” Norm began, finally, drawing your mind back to him. Refocusing your gaze on his grim features. “It was this big tree that the Omatikaya used to call their home until the RDA destroyed it for a bunch of unobtanium that was buried beneath the tree. Basically, the rich fucks took their home away and that caused the war that led us into exiling the RDA off this planet. Jake, who was considered an outsider before, helped reunite the other clans to defeat them, Toruk Makto. Because of this title, he was accepted into the Omatikaya, despite being a Sky Person as well.”

You watched him with a frown, taking in the brief, summarized story. “So what, should I become some great warrior to impress the natives too?”

“Couldn’t hurt.” Norm shrugged with half a joking smirk but winced right after. “Don’t know if there’s a lot to choose from though.”

You scowled, not really in the mood to match his playful response, “And Sully knows what it’s like to be an outsider yet acts like a total dickhead still? Some guy.”

Norm awkwardly scratched the back of his head, “Your arrival did kind of spook us, and it happening a year after the RDA were gone too—it was just bad timing, really, Doc. I’m sure once this all cools down then Jake will, I don’t know, get his head out of his own ass and finally get it. But right now, he’s just—they’re all scared. And I can’t necessarily blame him for that either.”

Somewhere, behind all this anger, grief, and exhaustion, there was some part of you that did understand it.

But rationality was hard to come by now. Being reasonable was far from your grasp—in fact, you kicked it away out of spite. Every bit of you just wanted to embrace this anger, embrace this frustration.

You did not ask to be put here. To you, at this moment in time, that was all that mattered.

You were wronged. You were kidnapped. You weren’t responsible for what the RDA had done here—nor what your mother had accomplished on this planet. None of it had anything to do with you.

And for a brief moment, this selfishness felt right. There was no self-hatred for what you felt here. Because you were right to be pissed off at your situation. And no one was going to make you feel bad for it.

Norm didn’t. He took to being neutral. Understanding your side and the natives—which was somewhat fair. At least he didn’t completely write you off as some sort of destructive lost cause.

At some point, Jake maneuvered from the front of the ship to the side of it, gesturing for the pilot to land. You braced yourself as the Samson lowered itself to the ground, the trees flying around you from the spinning blades of the ship.

Once the ship was securely on the ground, you followed Norm off the ship just as Jake landed his winged creature—ikran—in a tree a few feet away from you. After adjusting the exopack you wore—again—Jake landed on the ground and flicked his head in the direction straight head.

“This way.”

The forest was vast and big around you. Perhaps even a bit scary if not for the natural lighting of the plants—bioluminescence—surrounding you. If your mind wasn’t so distracted, you would’ve thought it was absolutely beautiful and ethereal. Unlike anything you had seen in your life.

As you walked, many small creatures flew around you. One of them was a flying lizard which glowed along with the forest. A kenten, you remembered them from your mother’s videos. It flew around you for a bit until it moved on. For a moment, you watched it until you couldn’t see it much anymore as it flew further and further away.

You tried to will some type of amazement. Some type of awe. But nothing came to you. Nothing at all. So, you moved forward, forcing yourself to forget the flying lizard and focus on what was ahead of you.

The clan’s new home must’ve been close by since Jake decided to make them walk the rest of the way to it. Norm was still beside you, also in human form which was slightly comforting. At least you wouldn’t be the only puny creature here.

When you began spotting huts in trees, that’s when you realized you must’ve arrived. The first few practically blended in with the nature of Pandora. But as Jake led you deeper, more huts began to appear, more visible as you walked by. Natives were out and about as well. Children, women, and men alike.

Now you really felt small. Almost pathetic. Being among the Na’vi constantly reminded you of this. Even the children sometimes towered over you. The smallest one that you passed had to have reached your shoulder, and she looked young. Seven years old at least.

Jake glanced over his shoulder at the two of you every now and then, making sure that you were keeping up and that he didn’t lose his eyes on you. He wasn’t the only one watching you keenly, some of the natives did as well. Making you feel both self-conscious of yourself and rather irritated. It was like they wanted you to snap at them.

Next to you, Norm whispered. “The Tsahik, Mo’at, is pretty wise. Basically, everyone looks to her as a spiritual leader. A spokesperson. Interpreting the will of their deity, Eywa.”

“So why does she need to see me?” You questioned as Jake led the both of you to a hut, stopping just at the entrance of it.

Jake looked at you—his face still unreadable—“Wait here.” And he ducked inside. Leaving both you and Norm outside.

The scientist shifted next to you, “Probably to determine whether or not Eywa has truly chosen you.”

“Chosen me?” You repeated incredulously.

“Well, Neytiri did say that those woodspirites—atokirina—were around you earlier.”

“So?”

Norm frowned exasperatedly, “To them that means something. Which means your odds might not be looking too bad now.”

At that, you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the long curious looks sent your way by the natives. “You’re all more worried about my odds than me.”

He didn’t respond despite the question in his frown. You didn’t offer an explanation.

A minute or two later, Neytiri came out of the hut instead of Jake. She still held a thoughtful yet wary expression when looking down at you. “The Tsahik will see you now.”

Norm gave you a pat on your back, “Good luck.”

Again, not offering a response, you followed Neytiri into the hut, not before hearing Norm say behind you, “I’ll be out here if you need me—"

Inside the Tsahik’s hut, it was pretty spacious—probably because everything just looked much larger to you than it actually was. There were a lot of earthy materials—the air smelled of smoke, herbs, and spice of sorts. Unlike anything you’ve ever smelled on Earth.

A part of you expected this from a Na’vi shaman, so you didn’t observe too much of the space you were in.

Instead, you focused on your busy mind. Your walls going up to defend against any accusation attacks or insults that would be sent your way because of your species, because of your unwelcomed arrival here. Observing the unique hut wasn’t much of an option when your eyes settled on the woman at the center of it.

She was sitting on the ground, eyes focused on something in the wooden bowl she held in her four-fingered hand. She had yet to look up at you, but she didn’t tense at your presence. Not like how Jake did in the corner of your eye—whom you just now noticed standing near the entrance of the hut.

How you had missed his tall blue ass, you didn’t know. 

Your mind had been too blurred and defensive as soon as you stepped in. Not realizing until then that you were standing in front of the Tsahik of the Omatikaya Clan.

Suddenly, you felt intimidated. Like the type of intimidation, you were sure you were supposed to feel while facing Jake. Only you didn’t with him.

But with her? No, there was something about her that exuded something far more powerful than some scary Marine. She hadn’t even said anything yet and you for some reason stiffened at the sight of her.

Mo’at turned her attention to you. “Come, sawtute. Sit.”

Cautiously, you came forward and sat where Mo’at pointed. Neytiri had come inside shortly after, taking the spot behind Mo’at. Watching you and her keenly. You realized while looking at both Na’vi women, how similar they were.

Jake was still standing near the entrance.

All eyes were on you.

And you truly realized then that you were alone. That, essentially, everyone was against you. The way each Na’vi eyed you carefully, as if watching for any sudden movements, the same as the first time you met both Jake and Neytiri at Hell’s Gate.

You realized that the only person who had been in your corner was gone.

It was you against Pandora.

Something suddenly pricked you, interrupting your bleak thoughts. Mo’at held a needle of sorts which was now red with your blood. You watched as she gave it a sniff and then a lick, something you would’ve cringed at if not for your and everyone else’s silent anticipation. All you could do was sit silently, spine straight and protected by steel.

Ready to fight for yourself because no one else would.

Mo’at then peered down at you, “You know who I am.”

You blinked at the question, “Norm told me, yes.”

She made a sound of content with your reply.

Another beat went by as she stared at you, “Tell me about your dying planet. Tell me why you have no interest in making our home yours like your clan.”

You stopped, staring at her in bleak surprise. That certainly wasn’t something you were prepared to answer. Again, you blinked and Mo’at stared at you expectantly.

Unsurely, you finally replied, “It’s like you said. It’s dying. I don’t know how much simpler that can get for you. Saving our home—it’s a naïve dream. That’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? Humans killed our own planet and now we want to claim another, just to fuck that one up too.”

Neytiri’s tail moved slightly behind her. In the corner of your eye, Jake stiffened—the only former human here who knew what you were talking about. Who understood what you meant, where you came from, and your position. 

For some reason, that only made you angrier at him. For some reason, now he wanted to pretend that none of that happened. That you, just like the RDA, were just as bad. Without even trying to understand your side.

Mo’at raised a hand as if silencing your bitter thoughts. “I didn’t ask for ‘we’. I want to know why you aren’t following your clan’s ideas. What makes you different from the rest of those sky demons?”

Still confused and now annoyed, you respond anyway, “Because I have no interest in trying anymore.”

And you paused, remembering your mother’s songcord in the back of your pants pocket. You moved your gaze down to your hands, which were clutching your knees until your knuckles were practically shades lighter than your skin.

“Back on Earth, my mother—she believed in the hope that she could save it by starting small. Never mind the hundreds of years of wasted pollution or deforestation, she believed there was still a way to save it. So, she created the Amazon Project. There was still a small patch of land in Brazil left untouched. She took the opportunity to nurture and protect it. Since I was young, I’ve been working under her. Watching her succeed in her project. Until she passed it down to me. To care for it while she left for the Avatar Program. And I was happy to do it. I wanted to see my mother’s work flourish even if she wasn’t at my side. I did it to make her proud.” 

Again, you paused, resisting the urge to reach for the songcord to distract your hands. Despite your trembling, your voice remained steady, “Five years later, RDA agents tell me she died a year into her stay there. Her forest is gone too. By fire. Deforestation. As all the others.”

Mo’at was quiet but thoughtful. Neytiri was staring at you still, her expression less wary, less—almost no severity left there. She was listening, closely. The way her ears twitched every now and then was a sure sign of it.

You couldn’t see Jake’s reaction, your gaze going back down to your hands again.

Until Mo’at finally spoke, “And now you are here. Yet you have no interest in following your clan’s path. Because you have, ‘given up’. Now I am told that we cannot escort you off this planet. So why should my people trust you to stay here—”

“I didn’t want to be here.” You were tired of saying it. Tired of fighting for your innocence here. Fighting for them to see that you too were wronged here. That you were the victim, not the monster in all of this mess. 

If anyone was to blame, it was DeVoe.

But DeVoe was dead. And you were left fending for yourself.

And you were angry all over again. 

“The RDA wanted me to come here and continue my mother’s work. I refused and they brought me here against my will. They tried to get me to buy into this bullshit lie that my mother wanted this, when really they were just desperate fuckers who wanted to get their hands on her work. I destroyed it. No one, not even me, could use it. And if you’re not happy with that explanation either, then do what you want with me—I don’t know how many times I have to say it. I’m not here to take anything. I’m not here to live among you and I’m not here for the Avatar Program—if killing me is all it takes for this shit to end then just get it over with already—”

You missed the way Neytiri frowned, confused by your words. You missed the way Jake winced and looked away from your smaller hunched figure. You missed the way Mo’at nearly chuckled at your words. Because it was always amusing how many didn’t realize how the Great Mother worked. Even when it happened in front of them.

The flaps of the hut entrance yanked open as two Na’vi figures stepped inside. One of them you recognized as the clan leader, Tsu’tey?—while the other was an older woman with a sling across her chest. And in that sling was a sleeping baby.

His eyes found you and his scowl worsened, “What is this?!”

“Tsu’tey,” Neytiri warned as she stood. She moved around Mo’at while saying something to him in their language.

He ignored her and looked to Mo’at, “Why is the demon here?! I already said it isn’t welcomed on our land!”

“I called her here, Olo’eyktan,” Mo’at responded simply, looking increasingly similar to Neytiri as a sort of warning appeared on her own lithe face.

Even Jake stepped forward, placing a hand on the male’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, “Just be calm. Mo’at—”

“We agreed the demon would be gone!” Tsu’tey snapped, now glaring at you again. You stared back impassively and for some reason that only seemed to piss him off. “And now you’ve shown her our home and endangered us all!”

Neytiri then hissed at him in their language. You watched both of them quietly go back and forth, Jake even adding input every now and then. Whatever it was they were saying, Tsu’tey didn’t look too happy about it.

“The atokirina has given us a sign.” Mo’at interrupted the three in English as she gestured to you. “Allow her to explain her intentions to the Olo’eyktan and then we can decide—”

“It is already decided.” Tsu’tey snarled. “She leaves—”

“There’s no ship we have that can send her back,” Jake informed calmly. He glanced toward you for a beat, something settling in his yellow gaze before looking back at the heated male. He continued whatever he said to try to persuade the chief in Na’vi. His use of the language wasn't as natural coming from him—which, you noted, showed he hadn’t been experienced in their language for long now.

Neytiri also grabbed and squeezed at Tsu’tey’s arm as she spoke, this time her words sounded a lot more clear instead of quick with a hiss like before. She too was trying to persuade him—or perhaps you weren’t reading their body language right. After all,  you were practically the only one in the hut that didn’t speak the language. Who knew what they could’ve been saying about you—which was slightly irritating.

The nameless woman, whom you had forgotten was there until you spotted the vicious scowl she sent Jake. She was older, around the same age as Mo’at. Had to be. And she was holding that baby in her sling close to her chest, protectively almost. Like there was no way she would let the infant go, not even if someone dared to ask to hold it. Hell, you weren’t even sure if the baby even belonged to her.

But she did look eerily similar to Tsu’tey. Same scowl and all.

And the baby, despite the chaos, was still sound asleep.

There was a certain innocence at the sight. Something so pure about it.

“You claimed to have left the Sky People.” You tore your eyes away from the baby to find a restrained-looking Tsu’tey now peering down at you. “And that you do not want our home. Then what is it that you want, demon?”

Another question you weren’t prepared for. Frankly, you didn’t think they cared for what you personally wanted, even if they got over their fear of you destroying their home like the RDA had done.

Jake and Neytiri now stared at you expectantly. Neytiri’s gaze curious while Jake, as usual, was guarded.

Mo’at also watched you, keenly. Like she knew something you didn’t.

And the nameless woman continued glaring at you with pure and utter hatred.

“Since I can’t go back home. I don’t know.”

Maybe you’ll lay down next to your mother’s grave. Until you turn into a rock, keeping her company.

Tsu’tey scowled, his tail lashing behind him. “That’s not an answer.”

“Well, I don’t know what to fucking tell you. I just lost the one person I ever cared for—so yes, that’s my answer. I don’t know.” You never broke eye contact with him as you said this. Even when he leered at you for your response. There was a certain bite to your words, especially when you said, “God, it’s like you all haven’t fucking lost someone before. Sorry, if my grievance is such an inconvenience to you all.”

Jake winced at this while Neytiri lowered her head. Tsu’tey didn’t appear phased by the comment but his face noticeably grew more hostile, baring his teeth.

Unbeknownst to you, the nameless woman, Artsut, suddenly hissed in offense for her son, “Are you going to let that demon talk to you in such a way, son? You are Olo’eyktan! Put that alien in her place!”

“Be calm,” Jake warned her with a certain look that meant he was not in the mood for her and her unnecessary comments right now.

But of course, Artsut bit back, “You do not get to tell me to calm down, demon! This is your people! You brought her here, it is your fault for this!”

Jake scowled but swallowed his venomous response down his throat.

Because he knew she wasn’t wrong. His presence alone already made some of the natives uneasy. Toruk Makto or not. And he knew that it could draw more Sky People here one day, after pushing the RDA out. The inkling of vengeance they might take on him and the people never left Jake. Not even when he thought he was finally at peace.

“The Tsahik decides what to do next.” Neytiri reminded the woman with a stone look sent her way. “You do not interfere.”

She refrained from screwing her face into a scowl at the sight of Artsut holding Neteyam. But she could not deny her right to hold her grandson. Not even when it made her sick at times.

Instead of bringing attention to it, Neytiri pointed toward the entrance, “Leave. Take our son to bed. You are not needed here.”

Artsut scowled and looked at her son, “Tsu’tey! You let her dismiss me like this? Your own mother?”

Without looking away from you, Tsu’tey muttered, “Take Neteyam, mother. I will find you later.”

With a huff, Artsut raised her chin, sending you another glare as she said, “I hope you kill that demon where she sits. The Great Mother will forgive you if you at least get rid of one stain on our land.”

In the corner of your eye, the woman left finally, and whatever she had said clearly angered Neytiri and made Jake go quiet as he watched her leave with a solemn look.

“What will you do with her then, Olo’eyktan?” Mo’at questioned in English.

You still didn’t look away from Tsu’tey, almost like a silent challenge between the two of you.

Mo’at watched the both of you. All four of you.

Until someone cleared their throat.

At the sudden sound, all of you turned your attention to the hut entrance, finding Norm standing there looking just as puny as you.

“Dr. Reeds can stay at Hell’s Gate with the rest of us—she doesn’t have to be here if you don’t her here. And since she’s a scientist, Dr Patel can take her on. She’ll be out of the way.” Norm offered, carefully when he took in everyone’s different expressions. Including yours.

She’ll be out of the way.

“Thanks, Norm.” You snipped dryly.

He sent you a pointed look. You rolled your eyes but willed yourself to stay quiet. Mostly, because you didn’t care for all of this anymore. You said your peace and now you were done explaining yourself.

All you wanted to do now was sleep.

You almost missed Tsu’tey’s reply as your mind began to drift, “Away with her then. If I see the demon again, I will deal with it my way.”

There was a shudder through your body at the finality of the conversation. But you remained quiet, staring down at your hands, remnants of dirt still left on your fingernails and palms.

The world had gone too quiet, even when you halfheartedly watched everyone’s mouth move. Only for nothing to come out of it but soundless silence.

Eventually, you were allowed to follow Norm out of the hut and back into the village. Getting ready to leave for Hell’s Gate. At some point, you were floating outside of your body again.

Until Norm spoke next to you, “I think that went well. I’ll have to talk to Dr. Patel and arrange everything—but all in all, you’ll get situated just fine. Plus, you still have your avatar—hey are you okay?”

You barely heard his question or anything prior to that. Your knees buckled and your mask began to fog up from the hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

You weren’t wailing. You weren’t shouting. You just cried on the forest floor with quick breaths and a racing heart.

“Dr. Reeds?” Norm knelt down beside you. “Are you—what—”

You just shook your head and continued crying, clutching your shaky hands to your chest. Letting everything you held back in the hut slam into you like a tsunami wave. Overwhelming you. Disarming you and your walls.

“Okay,” Norm mumbled, looking around. Fortunately, you had made it far enough away from prying eyes. He then patted your back, “Okay—Okay, if it helps, I’m here for you. I won’t go anywhere, right? We’ll sit here until you’re ready, yeah?”

You didn’t get out of your bed for the first few days.

Norm showed you your new room after coming back from your visit with Mo’at. Since then, you stayed there.

Fortunately, no one came to get you. Norm only came around to drop off the food you barely ended up touching.

At some point, you realized that there was just no way you could get out of bed. Everything finally came crashing down. The anger still simmered with your situation, but at this point, there was nothing you could do about it. Even if you could go back, there was nothing waiting for you back at home.

Your mother’s songcord lied on the dresser next to the cot you slept on. Sometimes you’d stare at it and other times you’d get so angry at the sight of it that you’d throw it into one of the drawers. Leaving it there until you quietly panicked and took it back out again.

You hadn’t left the room. The world of Pandora was out there and yet you were here. You couldn’t move. Your body was stone.

And you were fine with being stone.

At least the skin would be harder to break this time.

“It is not your fault,” Tsu’tey said, pulling Jake out of his swimming thoughts—nearly drowning if not for a hand always latching onto him, keeping his body dangling above the waters.

When Jake tore his drifting gaze away from sharpening his arrow, his mate was sitting next to him, eyes soft but face set in a determined frown. As if Tsu’tey made a mission for himself. “I will not let you blame yourself for this. I do not care for my mother’s words and neither should you, tiyawn.”

In response, Jake offered a short nod, not entirely trusting himself to speak at the moment.

Guilt wasn’t a stranger to him. He would live with this until his body was buried somewhere on this planet. He would live with this guilt for the rest of his life.

For Grace. For Neytiri’s father. For Tommy.

Suppose all of this started with his twin brother. Suppose it always did.

“I will always be human,” Jake said to both himself and Tsu’tey, clutching the arrow tightly in his grasp. “That’s never going to change. And I gotta live with that.”

Tsu’tey took his hand—the one gripping the arrow—and squeezed it gently. “I know this. Neytiri knows this. Neteyam is half of you. And half of us. You have proven yourself, Jakesully. Long ago. We have not forgotten what you have done for us. What you’ve done for me.”

Jake winced and looked away. 

It wasn’t selfless—saving Tsu’tey after the battle with the Sky People. He had only done it because he didn’t deserve the title. He didn’t want the title. If Tsu’tey lived, he would still be Olo’eyktan. And Jake would just be the Toruk Makto. Nothing more and nothing less.

It wasn’t selfless. It wasn’t.

There was one tablet in your room. At some point, you dragged yourself from the cot and grabbed it.

Turning it on, you searched the system for Joan Reeds.

Her video logs came up. The public ones at least. The ones you destroyed were private. Only for you to see in the end.

This video had to have been when she first arrived. Maybe a few days later.

“Log—um, wait, what day is it?” Already your mother looked frazzled as she searched around the public lab she was in. “Oh! Found it! Video log 10. Today, I got to run around in my avatar and gosh, it’s so jarring how small everyone is—or how small you are. I keep tripping over myself so Dr. Augustine has me putting in more work. Says I’m not useful if I’m always falling on my face. Jokes on her, I’m always falling on my face…I probably won’t be allowed outside of the Avatar Compound.”

Joan laughed at herself in the video. Your heart tugged at the twinkle in her eye as she kept going on and on about her week so far. You listened intently, ignoring the plate of food sitting on your dresser.

In another video, Joan steered off updates and instead took out a tablet. Showing the camera a picture of a forest.

Her forest. On Earth.

Joan was smiling brightly here, “This is the Amazon back on Earth. Or what’s left of it, still preserved under my daughter’s watch. I taught her everything she knows. My very own little shadow. You know when she was smaller, she always used to follow me around. And I mean all the time. Hence the nickname I gave her.” She paused, the smiling faltering a bit. “She doesn’t do it anymore—has a doctorate and everything. My baby’s all grown up. And so, so, talented.”

“Reeds, you’re supposed to be logging. Not crying over your baby photos again.” A voice said in the background.

Joan pouted, “I know, I know. Alright, here come the boring parts—”

“Reeds!”

“Kidding, kidding!”

The video stopped. She never did get to the boring parts.

You stared at the screen in silence. And then you replayed the video. A few more times that night.

Tsu’tey felt small whenever he went to see Mo’at.

Most times he was always accompanied by either Jake or Neytiri—sometimes both—or to bring a warrior who needed healing after a bad hunt.

But when it was just him, it was always different. It had been this way ever since he was young. She just always had this air of importance about her—royalty even. Sometimes—all the time—she was often regarded highly over the Olo’eyktan. Tsu’tey even saw her as the true ruler over the Omatikaya, even before he was named their chief.

It had gotten better, visiting her in his young adolescent years. However, that was only because of their shared grief and the loss of Sylwanin years before. It was easier to be around someone who understood. It was the same with Neytiri. The intimidation was lost because of this.

But now things have changed. Too many things.

After the war, after the battle with the Sky People, Tsu’tey didn’t remember the end result. He never saw them win. Not when he was shot down by one of the Sky People. All he remembered was falling from one of their flying ships and falling back into the arms of his home. Readily to embrace his impending death. Ready to greet Eywa.

He remembered Neytiri crying over his body. He remembered trying to make Jake the next Olo’eyktan. And then it was just darkness. Nothingness. For a moment he could’ve sworn he saw Sylwanin.

And then he woke up with Mo’at crouched over him, hard at work at his severe wounds. Wounds he was sure he would’ve died from. Should’ve died from.

Tsu’tey had lived through the war and came back with nightmares and aching scars in his wake. Sometimes wishing he had stayed asleep for good.

Then the pain would be gone. Then the strange tightness in his chest would go away. Then he wouldn’t have to keep experiencing his breath shortening and his heart racing every time the world spun just a little too much or he’d pulled himself—half a man—out of another one of his nightmares.

Then he wouldn’t have to suffer.

Then he would be at peace.

But a gentle hand always pulled him back. Lifting him out of the ocean. Keeping his head just above the waters, just enough that he could breathe.

Neteyam’s eyes held him in place and stopped his world from spinning.

The world got a little brighter because of his little boy. Because of his mates.

So, when Tsu’tey visited Mo’at on the day of one of his healing sessions, there was always something to keep his head floating above water.

Today it was Neytiri who had his hand against her cheek, running fingers down his arms softly as Mo’at massaged the healing wounds on his back and chest. Last night it was Jake, who hugged him tightly after waking up from one of his nightmares. The day before it had been Neteyam. And the day before that, it had been unintentionally you. His rage for the Sky People kept him grounded.

And tomorrow, he didn’t know what it would bring. He would just have to leave it to the Great Mother. And pray that she doesn’t want him to suffer.

Slowly, you began to eat again. And that was a start.

By the third week, you began doing little exercises in your room.

Push-ups. Sit-ups. Planks. Anything to make your mind start moving again.

It wasn’t perfect. You knew this. But you tried.

One day at a time.

Neytiri and grief were friends.

There was nothing difficult about her emotions or how she expressed herself. Neytiri felt everything. And she could not stop feeling. She could not stop understanding.

So she understood Tsu’tey when he changed after Sylwanin’s death. Neytiri had changed too.

She understood Jake when Grace had died in his arms. Her father had died in her arms too.

She did not want to understand Sky People. She did not want to feel sympathy for the people who stole everything from her. She did not wish to feel sympathy from those that stole her sister away and as if they weren’t greedy enough, took her father and her home from her as well.

And she was tired because of it. She just wanted peace. She just wanted to raise her children and be with her mates. She did not want to worry about those demons coming back and destroying her home, and her life again.

Neytiri was just so tired of it. Being stuck in this never-ending cycle of grief.

Was this the path the Great Mother wanted for her?

Was she just never meant to be happy?

“Hey.”

Neytiri perked up and turned to find Jake watching her curiously. She had forgotten where she was for a moment. In the forest with her bow and Jake. Ready to hunt.

“You here with me?” Jake asked, smiling at her.

And she returned the smile, her chest warm. “Yes.” She then gently smacked his arm, “Now focus. We need dinner for tonight.”

She was always standing at the edge of the cliff, the water staring back at her below. There was always a weight that she held onto, with such desperation. She wouldn’t dream of letting it go. She wouldn’t dream of letting them drown.

So she always held tight. She would be the tether. 

The following week arrived. You managed to take a shower and finally leave your room.

Today you were just numb. And you would work with that.

Hell’s Gate was a vast place that you wanted to map out and fully explore. If this was the place you would be stationed/forced to stay at, then you needed to understand the layout.

You started at the administrative centers; passing the Operations Center and a few link rooms. Some people nodded to you in acknowledgment as you passed while others ignored your existence, being too focused on their work—which you didn’t mind.

Eventually, you made it to one of the bio labs. There, you found a few more people—which you assumed were scientists. You passed another link room—Norm mentioned these places a few times whenever he stopped by your room to try and pull you into a conversation.

You lingered there for a minute. Watching two people enter the link beds. By the time they were closed in, you moved on.

The Avatar Compound was of course the last place you visited. You ignored your mother’s old lab and sauntered toward the gardens.

There was a lot more browning than you saw before. Most of them were dead, others were on the verge of dying. It looked pathetic, really. How some of them stood limp. Nearly touching the ground.

You frowned at the sight, fingers twitching.

You moved on.

“Do you guys have a library here?”

Norm looked up at you, eyes alight with surprise at the sight of you, “Um, I don’t know anything about a library. What are you looking for exactly?”

You frowned, tucking the tablet from your room under your arm. “You worked with the former head of the Avatar Program, Grace Augustine. She has a book on the plant life here. I was wondering if this place has a copy lying around somewhere.”

“Light reading?” He asked with a raised brow.

You shrugged, “Something like that, yes.”

Norm nodded with a smile, “Well, like I said we don’t really have a library—but I actually have a copy of her book. I'm a big fan myself. I could lend it to you if you want.”

“I’d like that. Might be a while before I give it back though.”

He grinned, “I don’t mind. Knock yourself out! I’m just glad to see you walking around.” Norm sat back down at his computer with a sigh. “They’ve been sending warriors to check up on things but when I’ve been giving them the same updates, they kind of stopped coming around. So, it might be good for you—”

“Thank you, Spellman.” You nodded, as you started for the doorway leading out of the lab. “Send the book to my room whenever you can.”

Right now you were just floating out of your body. It was easier this way, you realized. And you would work with it.

The book was in your room the next day. You took it while holding your mother’s songcord and read through it. Front and back. You grabbed your tablet as you read the book again, taking notes this time around.

You organized the plants, you separated them into categories. Foods humans and Na’vi could eat. Plants that were meant for herbs and medicine. And plants to avoid altogether.

You read it for a third time to make sure you didn’t miss anything.

Finally, you went to the gardens. After examining which plants needed replacement—which was mostly the fruits and vegetables, food sources that they couldn’t afford to run out of. Hell’s Gate was living off rations, which were bound to be gone at some point. A harvesting garden would be useful.

So, you adjusted your exopack and got work.

You didn’t do too much the first day, just tore down the dead plants—which was practically the whole land of the garden. The plants themselves were big so it took most of the day. Those that could be saved were mushrooms. They hadn’t blossomed yet so you took care of it. Adding water, and new soil—you did this until the night came.

The next few days were planned accordingly. You found yourself busy foraging for fruits and vegetables in the forest surrounding the compound. Of course, you didn’t wander too far from the compound, making sure to keep track of every path you took.

It was quite big and overwhelming, the forest. Even some of the fruits you carried back were bigger than your own body. But you managed well enough to plant down some seeds. Which also took quite some time.

It wasn’t until you saw avatars running around your mind suddenly clicked.

“Spellman.” You ran up to him one day, catching him going into the bio lab. He turned as you stopped in front of him, “I have an avatar, right? How long does it take to get used to being in the body?”

Norm, who had been waiting for you to ask this very question, grinned. “Right this way, Doc.”

Frankly, it took a couple of days until you were finally used to being in your avatar body. Which unfortunately slowed your progress with the garden, but you managed in between breaks from training with the avatar body to continue planting more seeds as best as you could.

But once you could manage to stand on your own two feet in this new body, your process with your garden got a whole lot easier.

One of them was the fact that you didn’t have to wear those stupid masks anymore. Not having to worry about losing oxygen after a couple of hours was a huge plus.

Admittedly, it was strange at first. Suddenly being taller than humans, having a tail that sometimes moved without your knowledge, and then there was keeping both bodies healthy. That would be a challenge but you could deal.

After getting used to your new body, you continued tending to the garden which was making great progress. Except for the mushrooms. They just wouldn’t grow.

“Mmm.” You mumbled to yourself while tucking your tablet—a new one large enough for you to hold—under your arm. Maybe the roots were too old and weak. Maybe it was best to cut it down and start over again.

You went into the bush. The forest looked a lot different with brand-new maskless eyes. A lot more vibrant. A lot more real.

Eventually, you found the same mushrooms in the forest that were in your garden. Kneeling down, you grabbed your tablet. Studying and comparing it carefully.

Of course, the roots were a lot more greener than yours. Maybe it needed fresh soil. Or more moisture. These mushrooms were obviously different from the Earth ones, so you were a little out of your depth here. The book didn’t talk too much about mushrooms, unfortunately.

There was a quick shift in the corner of your vision—something you definitely wouldn’t have caught in your human body. Another plus with the avatar, better senses.

You looked up, your eyes locked with another pair of yellow ones.

A familiar face you hadn’t seen in a while.

Neytiri crouched down on the branch she was on, staring at you intensely.

You stood, “Come to spy on me yourself this time?”

A flicker of recognition flashed through her eyes, her head tilting as she analyzed your features. “You are the demon but different now. You are dreamwalker.”

You gave a single nod and took a moment to observe her carefully. Just as she was doing with you.

After a while, you turned away from her to focus back on the mushrooms. You knelt back down to get a better look at the roots again. The grass shifted after as a soft thud sounded next to you. A second later Neytiri’s feet appeared next to you.

“Why are you doing that?” She questioned.

“I am growing some mushrooms.” You replied simply. “Mine aren’t growing like they’re supposed to…” You then looked up at her curiously. Neytiri stared back at you with a small frown. A strange idea struck you then. “Can you look at the mushrooms back in my garden?”

Neytiri huffed, her tail swishing behind her.

You shrugged, “Or not. I’ll figure it out.”

After you secured the tablet under your arm again—you really should get yourself a bag at some point—you started back to the compound.

Surprisingly, Neytiri followed.

There weren’t a lot of avatars out today so it was practically just you and Neytiri. You found your mushrooms and knelt back down to the ground.

Behind you, you felt Neytiri looking at you. “You did all of this?”

You made a sound of confirmation without looking up from the mushrooms, “We can’t survive off just rations. Sure there’s a lot—meant for a lot—but it won’t last. Better start now than later.”

“And you intend to do it our way?”

“For the most part, yes.”

After a while, Neytiri knelt down next to you as you brought out your tablet to take notes. She tapped your arm, drawing your attention to her.

She then lowered your tablet and pointed to the semi-growing mushroom. “The sun is blocked. You need to move it. Or it won’t grow.”

You frowned. Huh, that was simple enough.

With a nod, you placed the tablet aside and dug up the roots. Neytiri watched as you moved the soil into a more sunny spot. And for the next few minutes, you planted it down with your hands. Once it was done, you looked to Neytiri expectantly.

She was studying your other plants. There wasn’t any annoyance on her face, which was a plus at least. You watched quietly as she poked and prodded at the plants until her eyes met yours. Her ears perked, her face became tight, and her tail curled behind her. She now looked both annoyed and—flustered?

You gestured to the mushrooms, “Anything else?”

Neytiri inched toward you and examined your work, “Yes. That is good.”

You nodded and stood, “Thank you for your help.” She blinked and nodded reluctantly. Then she departed.

It was progress. Your new garden. One day at a time.

Neytiri did not want to understand Sky People.

You were sad, she concluded.

While human, you had appeared dangerous, vicious-looking. Defenseless. But then again, she thought that of all humans.

In your false body, you were easier to read. Your words, as you spoke, still never matched your face. Low ears and tail. Dull, almost unfocused eyes.

Neytiri and grief were friends.

There was nothing difficult about her emotions or how she expressed herself. Neytiri felt everything. And she could not stop feeling. She could not stop understanding.

So she understood Tsu’tey when he changed after Sylwanin’s death. Neytiri had changed too.

She understood Jake when Grace had died in his arms. Her father had died in her arms too.

Unwillingly, she somehow began to understand you after the meeting with her mother. Humans were hard to read, so when she listened to your words, she also watched your face. And it was almost solemn and expressionless. Neytiri wondered if you were like Jake, locking your emotions up, not allowing yourself to feel.

Neytiri did not understand why they did that. Sky People and the way they dealt with their emotions were strange.

You were no different.

You were at the bottom of the ocean. Whatever hand tried to grasp for your body, it always slipped. And you just sunk deeper and deeper.

Until you were a forgotten shadow.

so, yes, this one is a little longer than the last two chapters, lol. i got a little carried away but i really wanted to take a look into the minds of both, jake, neytiri, and tsu'tey, just to gain a little sense as to why they act the way they do towards reader.

they are all very much soulmates. grieving in their own ways. i can't wait to write more of them.

let me know your thoughts! i love talking to y'all and reading your very kind comments!

taglist: @doggyteam2028 @slutforsmut4ever @lik0 @bigbootahjudy @innercreationflower @n7cje @celi-xxmoon @readerofallthingss @childofgod-05

[holybibly]

CAPTAIN!Hongjoon pirate AU where he kidnaps you when you were wandering around the docks. He would be very possessive over you as he sees you as his own personal treasure to use whenever he pleases.

BUT! He definitely has no problem sharing you with the other members, or let them have their way with you whenever he thinks you deserve a punishment. One time, he allowed one of the members to tie you up naked against the pole in the middle of the deck, completely exposed for everyone to see. How long were you supposed to stay there? Until you’ve learned your lesson of course. You must fully understand you belong to him, and only him. Knowing the only reason the other members gets their turn with you sometimes, is because he let’s them. No other reason.

(Nice add is always being a princess who gets kidnapped by the captain and his crew. Humiliating you into fully understanding you are nothing more than their own personal play thing. No royal status for you anymoooore)

URGHHH I’m such a sucker for PIRATE! AU and nobody pulls this concept off like ATEEZ🫠

Oh, our captain. When he wants something, he is going to get it.

When he first saw you, something clicked inside him. A dark thirst for destruction was stronger than any rational thought. He should have you. You are a true princess.

Oh, you would be such a beautiful addition to his treasures, his crown's sparkling diamond.

On your wedding day, or more likely, on your wedding night, Joong would have kidnapped you. Maybe he would fuck you there, in your luxurious chambers, in front of your fiancé, to show him who you belong to.

Hongjoong would call you his precious, his true treasure, his special black pearl, but only if you were on your best behaviour. If you dared to contradict him, all cute nicknames would instantly turn into horrible, humiliating insults.

He might even slap you to teach you obedience if you pushed his buttons hard enough. Of course, Hongjoong would then treat you sweetly. He would hold you on his lap all the time and plant hot kisses on your neck until your skin was raw and red from the rough, passionate caresses.

I can easily imagine him laying your naked body on the table during a communal dinner while the other participants try to ignore your moans and sobs as their captain eats you up as the main course. Extremely dirty and loud, he wouldn't shut up about how wonderful your sweet cunt is, and he lapped up your juices as if it were the last meal of his life.

"You're dripping like a real whore. You're no longer of royal blood, are you, Princess?"

He would probably pour the wine on you so he could slowly lick it off you while his stunning cat-like eyes stared at the participants as if to say, "Look, she's mine. I can do whatever the hell I want with her."

"Tell me: Who owns this pussy? Come on, say it." He would definitely slap you in the pussy a couple of times to make you squeal and squirm.

He would make all the boys watch him enjoy your tight, pink cunt in front of their faces. Hongjoong could also have a cum on your face because he could do it.

As a punishment, he would give the boys the use of your impudent mouth, but first he would put a crown on your head with diamonds and precious stones as a form of mockery.

"Is it possible for a princess to have such a dirty mouth, full of sperm and drool?"

In the end, he was going to get what he wanted, which was to make you completely subservient to him and to destroy your royal status.

Hongjoong did everything in his power to make you realise that there was only one person on this ship who could be considered royal, and that was himself.