#While I don't COMPLETELY agree with this I am 100% there in spirit.

[astralbondpro]

“The most detestable habit in all modern cinema is the homage. I don't want to see another goddamn homage in anybody's movie, there are enough of them which are unconscious.”

- Orson Welles

[sophieinwonderland]

So, singlet here, been on tumblr for a while but only started to join plural spaces when a friend told me they were plural and now I am trying to learn more. Sadly, the first plural creator I found was Aspen and now I’m trying to unlearn all the endo hate I’ve learned in the past month. If you don’t mind, could you tell me what an endo actually is? Whenever I asked them they just told me what I now know to be lies.

Sure! Thanks for reaching out and being open-minded!

In its most simple form, an endogenic system is a system who is plural for reasons other than trauma.

These include created systems, systems who have been plural as long as they can remember, and spontaneous systems who become plural without explanation. And any of these can have spiritual or psychological views on their system. The plural umbrella is inclusive to any plurals regardless of origin.

Here is what we know:

Plurality is old and everywhere: Throughout history, in cultures around the globe, plurality has existed in the form of possession states or communing with spirits or similar phenomena.

Many of the above experiences have been studied, and psychiatrists agree that they generally aren't aversive and shouldn't be considered a mental disorder. There are specific exceptions carved out stating that non-aversive plurality shouldn't be diagnosed as a disorder.

The invention of the internet and ability to connect with other plurals without fear of persecution led to the creation of the first inclusive plural communities online, shared by anyone who was multiple in one body for any reason.

At the time, the term "natural multiples" was used to refer to what we now call endogenic systems. The community replaced the term with "endogenic" around 2014.

Most of the resources used by the modern plural community came out of the inclusive side of the community. "Headmate" was a non-medical alternative to "alter." "Plural" was coined as a non-medical alternative to "multiple" which was associated with "multiple personality disorder" at the time. Fictives and factives both date back to the soulbonder community. And resources like Pluralkit and Simply Plural were made by endos.

What we don't know:

Scientific research into endogenic systems is still in its infancy. And though it indisputably exists, we don't know exactly what causes it... but we also don't know what causes someone to be a singlet...

Our brain is estimated to have 86 billion neurons with over 100 trillion synapses. We don’t understand what make all of these create one single personality.

The theory of structural dissociation suggests that children start with a less integrated personality that integrates over time. But that opens the door to ask, does this integration occur naturally due to biological factors, or is it from sociological and environmental pressure?

It seems possible to me that different environments or genetic factors could lead to certain humans just integrating into multiple people instead of one. This would explain systems who report being plural since birth.

For created systems, one hypothesis could be that it might involve a form of hypnosis. Some doctors have long believed hypnosis might involve dissociated parts, and Dr Samuel Veisseire and Michael Lifshitz, who have studied tulpamancy closely, believe the practices tulpamancers use to create tulpas might be inherently hypnotic.

Stanford University is doing a neurological study into tulpamancers, and I'm excited to see the results of that, but we aren't sure when that study is going to be complete. And that's likely just the first of many, and though it will be another piece of the puzzle, it certainly won't answer our most pressing questions for how this works. But I, for one, can't wait to learn more! 😁

[badsalmonella]

My hottest Camelot revival take is actually that when it comes to magic in the show I'm running on death of the author rules. Like I actually don't think Aaron Sorkin should have gone around saying magic is 1000% axed gone completely from the show and it's world, because when you actually watch the show I feel like it exists more ambiguously, and it's a belief that multiple characters hold to varying degrees. And I think the clashing of beliefs is interesting actually especially because how it slots into changes in the show. This is why I do not hate these changes and like idk maybeee you should HEAR ME OUTTTT

How going in with this sexy, sexy reading benefits me and might even benefit YOU. TODAY. RIGHT NOW:

-Any mean spirited jokes about the magic system feel a lot more like character moments. Important to note that Guinevere is the character who tends to go hardest on these types of comments, whereas Lancelot is completely devoid of them.

-Genny being the most cynical is a fun lil nod to her now cut line from Simple Joys of Maidenhood where she so easily ditches St. Genevieve when she doesn't feel like her prayers are being answered.

-Even more interesting is how Arthur seems to be somewhere in the middle on this. He thinks legends abt him slaying dragons, and this idea that Lancelot revived him from the dead is ridiculous because these are his lived experiences he knows that's not what happened. But he believes Merlin whom he holds in high regards could see the future. And he is constantly debating on what made the sword come out of the stone when he pulled on it. It's like he needs a reason. What can he say about him and his reign if it was completely random?

-Am I being cheesy if I say I think the conclusion he comes to at the end issss kind of sweet and feels like ohhh the magic??? Of humanity??? Yeah probably.

-Also as much as Arthur and Genny insist that Lancelot did zero resurrecting can we trust them??? It's played off as a joke but Pelly's got a point he WAS UNCONSCIOUS! HOW COULD HE 100% KNOW??? Perhapssss the truthhh is whatever the individual believes now!!! 🤔🤔🤔 perhapssss it's MYTHOLOGY BEING FORMED IN REALLL TIMEEE BABYYYY. ARTHUR CAN SAY WHAT HE WANTS THAT STORY IS LOW KEY OUT OF HIS HANDS NOW! Which looms over his whoooleee legacy

-Lancelot believes his virginity is tied to his miracle work and strength I just think you should put THAT in the toaster of your brain while watching ILYOIS

-this has ALWAYS existed in every version of Camelot but it feels really at home in this version where Lancelot still manages to fight off unreasonable amounts of men post Genny hook up, which now puts all his beliefs up for debate.

-side note when my friend pointed out that his miraculous acts of strength come out It's tied to a love for Genny (rescuing her) or love for Arthur (reviving him) I needed 10 business days to recover. Sequel post Camelot is bisexual you CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHER WI

-sorry staying on topic

-Anyways important to note all these characters and their varying beliefs rarely have clear cut answers who's right and who's wrong

-except maybe Lancelot in that top point

-but is that due to lack of magic or just not knowing where it comes from???? 👀

-Guys is magic and religion and mythology true or real??? Or is it what we put in it??? Do we give it power when we believe it???? WAS THE ROUND TABLE AND CAMELOT EVER TRULY AS PERFECT AS THE TALES SAY OR IS THAT JUST SOMETHING WE HAVE TO TELL OURSELVES SO WE HAVE THE WANT TO STRIVE FOR GOOD??? IT'S WHAT WE TELL THE KIDDOS WHO WILL BE OUR FUTURE

-Guys Jordan Donica low key agrees with me. He's never had a bad take about Camelot ever. So like trust me fam.

-or maybe there's like a line or plot point I completely forgot about and someone will point it out in the replies and this whole house of cards will fall apart 😔 IDK thoughts??? Feelings???? Guys plz send food through the bars of my enclosure I need it I'm sooooo mentally stable I prommyyy 🥰

[sage-nebula]

And now, 13 years after it first released in Japan, I have finally played and 100% completed Ace Attorney Investigations 2!

Honestly, part of me still can't believe it. I was floored when it was announced for localization. I never played the fan translation because that wasn't what I wanted; I didn't want an unofficial, possibly too literal* translation by fellow fans doing their best, but the official localization from the same team (or at least company) that brought me the other games that I had loved. So I held out for an official localization, while at the same time giving up hope we'd ever see it. It was a spinoff, after all, and one that was 13 years old. Chances were slim. I just gave up on knowing this particular story.

But I should have learned from the Vesperia PS3 situation, honestly. My patience was rewarded! And now here I am all these years later, having finally played and completed it. It was worth the wait.

(*Sometimes—not all the time, but often—fan translators will translate the text, reword it into grammatically correct / passable English, and call it a day. This is both expected because they are not professionals and are doing it for free, but also sometimes not the best for the end product. Yes you want the translation to be faithful, but that doesn't extend to just words; meaning and intent is important too. And with Ace Attorney, which has puns and personality oozing from its pixels, I just personally wasn't interested in rolling the dice on a fan translation. This is not a knock to the fan translators; I haven't played their version and I'm not judging it, but merely explaining why I chose to not bother in the first place. And hey, bright side—none of the official names bother me as a result! I win!)

I do agree with the general consensus that AAI2 is better than AAI, and I stand by my earlier reasoning that it's because AAI was originally conceived for a different protagonist (Ema Skye), while AAI2 was an Edgeworth game from the ground up. But even apart from Edgeworth lore, the way the cases and characters all tied together was great. I do have my nitpicks (chief among them that I wish Kay was more central to the story), but overall I really enjoyed it. It's up there among the best.

As of now, the only Ace Attorney games I haven't played to completion are TGAA, because I started the first one and then got pulled away from it early on (I think perhaps because Legends Arceus came out?). Well, that and the Layton crossover, but I will never play that because I don't like Professor Layton games lol.

Regardless, I need to play Echoes of Wisdom next (it has been sitting there WAITING for me to finish AAI2 since Thursday), and then I want to replay the sequel trilogy (including—and I feel an immense dread even speaking its name—Spirit of Justice), and THEN TGAA. Probably. We'll see.

But at least I finally got to play AAI2. I can rest in peace now.

[farewellneverland2004]

my gripes with ep 1 Phayu

so I came across this post that made me remember my biggest gripe with Phayu at the begining.

Plot-wise, I see why that needed to happen, because unlike everyone else around them, Rain doesn't really Idolize Phayu, in fact, he's semi-jealous because his current crush is enamored by him. Still, he doesn't know the bike bro is Phayu, so he admires him in a different way than others. If he acted nice (like he should've done) and let him know he indeed remembered him, he'd probably just be another admirer from afar. but if Phayu pretended not to remember him when it was only like a day or two ago and they actually talked, he'd have a less than admirable look at Phayu but still recognize him as a flawed person.

while also giving a better excuse as to why Rain didn't hesitate to ask him for help, because he knows more about cars than he does, but since he doesn't remember him, He feels comfortable asking for help from him again. at least, that's how I read it

but character-wise, this seems not only cruel to crushing Rain's spirit but also a way too convoluted and silly plot for a man with Phayu's level of intuition. Like what nitwit tinkers with a guy's car to have an excuse to be their knight in shining leather jacket, yet decides "you know what? I should make the cute guy think I don't remember him instead of just saying the truth that I vividly remember the cutie on the side of the road with a flat tire to maybe idk have a cute little icebreaker talk?"

Like there was no reason for him to think this would actually work out for him in his favor and he just got lucky that Rain is terrible at subtly stealing glances at him. Because for all we know, he could've just been completely willing to accept that he didn't remember him and move on with his life.

If anything, this, along with him fucking with his car should give him the idea that maybe Rain isn't just completely playing hard to get.

Maybe I'm Bias, but I 100% am on Rain's side for the mishap/borderline assault. Phayu! Buddy! you're supposed to be smarter and more mature than this! You genuinely thought that he was supposed to get the hint that you wanted to hook up instead of having him pay money to get his car fixed, when his car was messed up BY YOU!? You're hot! but sometimes people are just stranded in a rainstorm and need a mechanic, and they're willing to pay money for their car to be fixed.

It's not easy for everyone to catch on to the deeper meanings behind "can you pay the price" or whatever. and if you thought he was just clumsily hitting on you, why did ti take you a good head wack before you got the memo that he wasn't looking to sleep with you?

Is that what you think "playing hard to get" is? You're the king of playing hard to get! you should be able to tell the difference I feel.

But, like I said before, I am speaking from the lense of someone who is neurodivergent. So I might just be interpreting things as the way I view interactions with people.

But can someone else tell me if they also agree with this gripe? cause I know that kinda toxic and jackass decisions in the first episode of shows aren't anything new, but I just feel the scene is almost written as if we are supposed to all believe that Rain was the one making mistakes and leading him on because he's supposed to be too dumb to realize how obvious he is about his attraction towards Phayu. And I hate that because not only does that feel like victim blaming, but also excuses Phayu for making a dirt bag decision of trying to sleep with a very confused college student who is verbally telling him to stop and that he was not intentionally throwing himself at him.

like i said before, I love Phayu, but that decision making always pisses me off because it doesn't even really fit with his character.

[thecloudstan]

(Prt. 1) I just checked your blog and saw you replying in real-time to my messages. XD OMG, YES! I completely forgot to mention his iconic "I guess we can't be friends" line ASDFGHJKL. There's honestly so much to say about Cloud and Rufus because, let's face it, Rufus has been underappreciated and overlooked for YEARS (and the Turks, too, while I'm rambling again, but that's for another day...). Back in the OG, I get why that is because of his stereotypical portrayal and lack of screentime.

Anonymous asked:

(Prt. 2) Added to the long stretches of time between the FFVII novels/other titles through the years and plot demands focus on main party, it's such a SHAME that a lot of fans just haven't read the novels or guidebooks because they provide SO MUCH depth to Rufus' characterization/growth from being a wannabe fascist dictator to fighting for the planet because of GENUINE REMORSE and DESIRE TO PAY HIS DEBT BACK TO THE PLANET. Sure, he's still looking out for Shinra, but hey, that's business.

(Prt. 3) And despite all these years, I am SHOOK that there's so many out there that haven't realized despite whatever differences Rufus and Cloud have, THEY REALLY DO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. When I got into FFVII and started seriously exploring and paying attention to these characters, it really struck me how much Rufus and Cloud are ACTUAL FOILS to each other. And all the Remake trilogy is doing just bringing into the main games than shoving into the novels that half the fandom hasn't even read.

(Prt. 3? I'm losing track fast because I'm on A ROLL! XD) Because I'm anonymous and YOU'RE A WONDERFUL PERSON, Heich, I feel safe for saying something that some may take issue with and you don't even have to agree with me since I was DONE with shipping discourse when I was 13 and differing opinions should be respected. I 100% BELIEVE that Rufus would make a better romantic partner for Cloud than literally ANYONE ELSE in the series. Yes, that includes T*fa and Aer*th. Why, you ask? See next part.

Rufus and Cloud both love their mothers (Rufus's mother died when he was young) deeply, and don't have much of a relationship with their fathers (Cloud's father was too much of a "free spirit" and got eaten by fiends, as stated in ToTP, and Cloud knows what his mother tells him; Rufus's father was neglectful, and Rufus grows up hating/resenting him, as stated in OtWtS). Both hide their loneliness growing up by acting stoic and cool, and they carry this in their adult lives, too.

Both of them grew DESPARATELY trying to be somebody important and prove themselves to others. And for those who don't know, Rufus DOES crave his father's acknowledgement since he was a child as stated in the novels (he still hates his guts, of course). By the time they're both adults, they even know how childishly rebellious they acted, but they still struggle with their insecurities and loneliness. Again, Rebirth is making those two points in particular VERY OBVIOUS outside the books.

Okay, anon, I wanted to answer your first group as an aggregate this time so it would all make sense. I'll put my reply under the cut so the post doesn't get too long!

It's true, so much of Rufus' history and then character development is hidden behind a wall-of-entry, so to speak, and that does suck. You really just can't get the full depth and breadth of him as a character, especially as he's being fleshed out in Remake/Rebirth, without that background. Or, at least, you'd be missing a lot.

I don't want to focus too much on who is 'best' to ship Cloud with, I'm not here for that and I think the reason I love this world so much is because of the strength and uniqueness of the interpersonal relationships. I think the people around both of them are integral to their lives and development, 'yes men' or otherwise. That said, I do believe they're good foils to one another and that it's a great ship. Considering the people who are left after Meteorfall and then Bahamut Sin, I can't say I'd be entirely disappointed or shocked if Cloud and Rufus did not become closer allies...and then closer other things are possible. Which is the only window I need 😈

What I'm really interested in with Rufus is the exploration of this desire to pay back what Shinra owes, how deep it could go, how his own near-death experiences shaped him, and how the people close to him followed whatever path he decided to take, regardless. It really is a lot like Cloud's story. He takes his group down an extremely dangerous path, unbeknownst to him (and them), and everyone suffers for it, but the intense bond they have, the ability to forgive and see a bigger picture, keeps all of his loved ones close and still believing in him.

I have more to say but it's in response to your next group of asks, so I'll pick up once I draft that reply! Thanks so much for the fun analysis, it's really so validating to have someone to talk to about this specific ship/topic!

[dasenergi-diary]

Good morning, friends.

So what I wanted to talk about the other night—

I suffer from a problem I call “magical thinking.”

Here’s what happened:

[Sex talk below the cut.]

After dinner we went back to his apartment and I was giving him birthday sex.

We broke-up last March (after 3 years together) and in the 8 months since, neither of us have been with anyone else.

I felt out of practice. Once upon a time I was one of those who would have competitive sex, not casual sex. I would have marathon sex. Olympic sex. But those days are gone. I am retired from sex life.

But once I got out of my head and let my intuition take over, my body remembered how to work him like an instrument and make him sing. It was very hot. Both of us were very aroused. And we were both ready to take it to the next level.

But just as I was starting to top him, an idea popped into my head...

Background information - I exist in the spirit world. Everything to me is energy. I have a very tenuous grasp on "agreed upon" reality. Constantly half of me exists in the "real" world and the other half is in the "spirit" world.

This is exactly why I do NOT use plant medicines (marijuana & mushrooms) - when I do, I am 100% in the spirit world. And I lose ALL grasp on reality. And that is not a fun or safe space for me.

...when I started to top him, I slipped into the spirit world. (Without any plant medicines.)

What I saw was, if I top him I will die.

If you all remember my mushroom incident from July 26 (the day Sinead O'Connor died), this is a running theme of mine -- thinking I'm dying. And although I am not afraid to die, it is NOT my time, my kids still need me. And when I think that I am dying (or that I am already dead) I begin to have a panic attack.

And that's what happened when we were having sex, I started to have a panic attack. My pulse was racing. I began hyper-ventilating.

To this date he still doesn't know that I started to have a panic attack while making love to him. I am proud of how well I covered for it. Luckily hyper-ventilating sounds a lot like sex. I was still 100% invested in giving him great birthday sex. And if he knew what I was going through internally, that would kill the mood. I was not going to ruin his birthday. I drove all the way out to Palm Springs to do this to him. (Otherwise he would have been all alone on his birthday.)

I simply stopped topping him and began doing other things to him that he enjoys and I ultimately gave him an earth shattering birthday sex biting a pillow orgasm.

Dave - why did you think you were going to die?

An invisible small thin silver thread connects people together. It is the flow of energy between two people.

A fire hydrant flowing full-blast connects Michael and I. It is big and loud and multi-colored like a rainbow. I have physically seen it a few times. But I can feel the connection, always. Distance does not matter.

Sex is about returning to source. Two souls become one. And in that moment I felt that all my life, everything has been leading up to this moment—if I enter him, if our two souls become one, if our souls are reunited, I will die. This was my destiny. Reunification. A return to source. My life’s journey complete. I will cease to exist in the "real" world. The "real" world is only an illusion. The REAL real world is Spirit World. That is where we are immortal. That is where we are all One. That is where a part of me always exists, conscious in the spirit world.

And now I don't think I can ever have intercourse with him again. This idea will always be in my head. Sure, I can do other things to sexually pleasure him. But not that.

Anyhow... the 24 hours after that incident I was in my head a lot about this. But now with time and distance I am understanding it more. And I really don't see him very often anymore, just every couple of months. We are broken up, only friends. I don't see myself in a committed relationship with him again in this lifetime. But it is nice to play with him every now and then. No one else feels as good as he does when we become one. We are both into the same thing. Our parts fit.

[northwest-cryptid]

im sending a cute moth to cheer you on while you're high

Oh man I love moths, fun fact; in my Native language the word for moth roughly translates to "The Night Spirit Butterfly" and I unironically think that's such a great name for moths

I wanted to see about the credibility of this however since a lot of the time I've heard people say that "the Native american word for this is [generic mystical sounding animal thing]" and then I look it up and it's like "nah we just kinda call that a bird." So I did some digging and located the original text it's sourced from:

I've been learning Lakota since it's my Native language and I was forced to learn English directly after learning barely enough Lakota to be conversational; since I wasn't able to keep up in school when it came to learning English. This is why I will always say English is my second language, because I was literally taught Lakota first and it made learning English significantly harder.

As a quick aside, I think it's interesting that after learning Lakota I had much more trouble learning English; while my brother who did not learn Lakota had no trouble picking up English as a first language. I believe this is honestly because English uses a completely different sentence structure and since my brother didn't have anything to compare it with it became the first and only structure for sentences he knew; it was the only pronunciation he knew. Meanwhile I had learned that wášte is pronounced like "Wash-teh" with a very subtle "ee" after the h, so then I went to school and they said "okay here's the word "Waste" how do you say that?" Not to mention the word wášte basically means "good" so learning an entirely new concept of a word made no sense at a young age.

Regardless, now I'm older and have a better grasp on how language works since I've spent my life learning a good few now (memory problems be damned) translating everything from games to web comics and novels for fun. So I've picked up Lakota and boy I forgot just how much of a weird language this is.

Like okay I know we're on a tangent here, but hear me out right; I need to explain this because it baffles me why they would do this.

So the word tȟó means blue, the word zí means yellow, and the word šá means red.

So then if we know what Blue, Yellow, and Red are; what do you think the word tȟózi means? It means Green right? because Blue and Yellow make green! Alright so then what about tȟóša it's gotta be Purple right? Yea exactly! Because Blue and Red make Purple! Okay one more here, zíša You probably already know this is Orange because of how this has been working so far; and that's 100% correct! It's a really simple and effective system right?

Alright, so then if we look at Black which is sápA and White which is ská we should be able to discern Gray!

So then what would Gray be? Based on what we know; there are two possible answers right? So we all agree that it's ȟótA right?

...

...

...

Wait, oh no it had such a good system it can't just NOT use it...

SURELY Pink would just be Red and White right?! Skasa or Saska or something...

WHY IS IT šamná?! In fact why is it šamná / šásaŋ / šástaŋ?!

Yea so anyways color system was so cool until they decided to just not use it and I am forever baffled by why this is the case.

So knowing what I know let's look into our case of the Night Spirit Butterfly.

Well right off the bat we can see it uses the word for Butterfly, that being Kimimila and I happen to know very well the word Nagi or "Wanagi" means Shadow or Spirit. So that gives us Wanagi and Kimimila but we're still missing that bit in the middle, where does that Ta come in?

Well the only example of ta being used is in the word Tatanka, which is literally the word Tanka and the word Ta which is cited as making it possessive. My best guess is that in this case it's being used as some kind of particle but I don't necessarily see how it making the word Wanagi possessive would fit that translation. That would make it closer to The Spirit's Butterfly, or something of that sort.

Of course this source actually does know what their talking about upon further reading through the document they have a lot of translations that are perfectly accurate so I believe them on this one but personally the inclusion of the "ta" particle there makes me wonder if it was suppose to be something closer to seeing the night in a possessive sense.

As to say Butterflies are to the day what Moths are to the night, they are The Night's Butterfly. The only issue there is that we need to remember that Nagi and Wanagi don't really mean "Night-Spirit" like that they do mean Shadow or Spirit and in some cases even Soul or Ghost depending on the context so I see even "The Ghost Butterfly" as being more accurate than to say The Night-Spirit. However this might just be a case of it being context sensitive as it does get across the fact that they're nocturnal rather than just being a dark butterfly.

Bonus fun fact, Mothman is my favorite cryptid.

tl;dr

[comically-chaos]

so on a serious note, I've had some places reach out to me and I've come to the determination that my new job has literally increased my standards for work expectations.

expectation: am I going to get cut off at my 40 hours and not otherwise be bothered? or is this a salary situation where if I work 50-60 hours in a week to resolve scenarios that come up am I going to get overtime or does that time get lost? does overtime exist?

expectation: are the goals that I am given in a day, measurable and obtainable? if I exceed the tasks given in a day am I able to do additional tasks to further benefit the team overall?

expectation: am I going to get health benefits at a reasonable (or beyond reasonable) cost to me? and is the benefits package a genuine known brand or is it a third party that operated out of a known network?

expectation: am I going to be supplied uniforms and the tools needed to perform the tasks needed for this job?

expectation: is my commute going to be reasonable or am I going to be stuck in traffic for an extended period of time? am I going to get reasonable parking options?

expectation: your hours suggest that there is a period of time for breaks, am I going to be guaranteed the breaks or is it a situation where "you need to find time between meetings"?

expectation: outside of work, are there additional activities or events for team-building or community focus?

I won't say that my current job is glamorous by any means, but they genuinely make sure to take care of their employees. I've gotten a ton of care and support so far with this job and it's genuinely encouraging to see and hear that people RETIRE from this place.

I know that those that have been here a lot longer than I have can see the differences from 'how it was' to 'how it is' but they don't understand the perspective that I'm coming from.

While some of it was imposed, I was;

working 50-60 hour weeks (quite often working from 8am-midnight to get to everything before deadlines), could be called at 11pm for customer support

had to "find time" for breaks (more often than not eating lunch at my desk while doing meetings)

had expensive insurance (~$280usd every two weeks for insurance nobody took)

pto was a joke because while we accrued the time the way to get the day was having 100% confirmed backup and if they or multiple had the day off it wouldn't be approved, and it capped because "we want you to take time off", it does not get paid out if you leave (unless your state says it as a mandate)

during the pandemic they (old job) went completely remote, which was a major lifesaver because to get there it was a guaranteed 1-1.5 hour drive (36-40 miles depending on the choice of highway) for a one-way drive. they then mandated the worst days for us to get there for 'the spirit of team building', which we were all on different accounts doing different things and spent the time on Microsoft teams meetings anyways... because the account that I was supporting was highly involved I was in meetings 99% of my day, so going outside for a few moments was a prized time in my day.

then hearing from management on a regular basis that the flawed contract they agreed to isn't successful and we need to do better with limited supplies, not enough staff (and not being able to pay the people what they're worth for their regions), things within the environment breaking significantly every week, and just... yeah. thinking about it makes me sad that I put up with so much for a long time.

this new job is amazing. I'm no longer eating my feelings, I'm genuinely laughing again (which my family says they've not heard in years), I'm now officially down 50+ lbs from my highest weight, I'm working hours that I prefer, I don't get frantic calls outside of my shifts demanding that I do x/y/z, my commute is literally 10 MINUTES if I hit every stop light in town, my managers and supervisors communicate effectively with me and let me know when something needs adjusted and my suggestions and concerns get addressed. they're still getting used to me with the approaches as they can tell I'm traumatized but seriously, SERIOUSLY I LIKE MY JOB. and I've gotten kudos only a month in.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hewitts / Pleasant Valley x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Title: The Multiverse Theory and the Horror Fandom 

Notes: 

I don't really know what it is, but I enjoyed creating it, so I’m posting it! If I get an idea as to what might happen next, I’ll probably add a part two. 

Its crack

Plot: 

Okay, you are from this universe and you are your Slasher fucker self. But you’re transported from your home, to the universe that the Slashers live in, specifically 2003 Texas Chainsaw Massacre. They capture you of course and decide to keep you.

Now the Hewitt’s have decided to go on a roadtrip and are of course taking you, their hostage, with them.

They end up staying in Pleasant Valley, despite your warnings not to. 

Warnings: Mention of real life people, breaking of the 3rd wall, if you look then there is some hints towards sexual assault cursing. Its comedy though mostly, so its pretty okay

~~~

“We’re lost.”

“No, mama, we not lost. We’re just taking the scenic route… “Hoyt transparently bullshits, looking around completely lost at the surroundings that we pass at a 100 km/h. Nothing but wheat fields and cows as far as the eye can see. Georgia is even more boring then Texas had been.

Luda Mae rolls her eyes, not taking any his shit after 6 hours in the car with him just today. God, I’m on her side. Can we stop somewhere just for a little bit? I mean, I don’t have to pee anymore since I held it for so long that the urge went away, but I’d still like to try because now I feel like I’m going to explode at any time. “So, we’re lost.” She announces, leaving no room for argument.

“Definitely lost… “Monty, in the seat beside me in the back seat of Hoyt’s tiny sheriff car, agrees with his sister, also watching the fields go by moodily. Why didn’t we take the goddamn truck, anyway? I would rather be tied to top of that, then squished back here between Thomas and Monty. I mean, there’s not even any doorhandles in the back here! Why did I have to be in the middle? Its not like I’m going to throw myself out the window! Sometimes I think Hoyt’s paranoid. And I hate him. And his ego’s too big.

Of course, Hoyt snaps back at Monty even though what he said was so mellow. It certainly didn’t have the amount of pent up frustration that Luda Mae’s had behind it. “We ain’t lost, goddamn it- Look! There’s a town. We’ll stop there and ask for directions if you really want. Just to make sure we’re going the right way, which I’m sure we are.” I look up from my hands, bruises all over the wrists from Hoyt and the ropes, and cuts all over the fingers from cooking with Luda Mae… and jagged fingernails from before I gave up. When I was still scratching at the walls and floor and Thomas, wanting to escape this mad family.

My fighting spirit isn’t completely crushed, now… but it has been a while since I screamed for help. I’m waiting for the moment, the right moment to try and escape. Of course, I don’t know if that moment will every come… but I still hope. And that’s something.

Now, looking up out the front window to see the town Hoyt’s talking about, I wonder if this will be the place that I’ll escape in.

Then we rush past the sign and I do a double take.

What did that say?!

I glance at Thomas, my designated warden to see what he’s doing now since he had been sleeping for most of today’s trip- yesterday he had stayed awake and alert, but today it seems that he decided I wasn’t about to crawl over anyone and creep through the window so it was cool to nap,- to see he’s alert, and when I look at him he turns to look at me back. I flash him a fake smile and turn to Monty, because he speaks. And he’s on the right side of the car, so he would have seen the sign.

“Hey, what did that sign say?”

“Why are they talking again?” Hoyt pipes up in the front as we get nearer to the town and I start to feel sick in my stomach. I raise my eyebrows at Monty instead of answering Hoyt’s goad.

Monty shrugs, leaning his back on his hand and looking out the window again. “Uh, Pleasant Valley.”

Oh my god.

It cannot be possible that more then one Horror movie exists in this world… right? I’ve been through enough trauma; I do not need to endure Robert Englund’s trademark craziness- oH, or Bill Mosely’s either. Oh god, - and his band of confederate lunatics. Do not do this to me, universe.

My heart’s beating faster then a bullet train as I wait, still as a statue and straight backed, for any more hints that I am where I think I am.

Thomas watches me with a hard stare, alert and suspicious about my odd change in posture and body language. I try to ignore him, which is of course hard, but I make do.

Then we start to pass people in this town, and they’re men in overalls and women in the most era-incorrect costumes I have ever seen. And they’re smiling and waving at us.

And I feel sick, and sink back into my seat so nobody outside can see me through Monty or Thomas, hopefully.

“Hoyt,” I call, quietly for the ‘sheriff’s’ attention. My voice doesn’t lift even to a normal volume, I’m so scared so he either ignores me or really doesn’t hear me. I try to be louder. “Hoyt!”

“Yes, hostage?”  

“I think we’re going the right way as well; I saw sign on the road a few miles back that said so. We should just keep going.”

“What?!” Luda Mae turns in her seat to look at me furrow her eyebrows- she doesn’t believe me one bit. “What are you doing, slouching in the back like that? Sit up!”

“Are we stopping?”

“Uhh… “She turns to look at Hoyt, and he nods. “Looks like it. About time, too. I need to stretch my legs, and we obviously need those damn directions.”

“We do not need the- “Hoyt sighs, exasperated, then furrows his eyebrows as he focuses on something in front of the car. “What the fuck are these wackos all doing out there in the middle of the road? Get outta my way… “

Mow them over, Hoyt! MOW THEM OVER.

Of course, he slows to a crawl and then a stop, and I thank god that the back windows don’t open, lest I feel any more in danger. If they were open, I definitely would have feared scary ghost cannibals would stick in their hands. As it is, cross my arms and let Hoyt do the talking. Of course, I mean. What else could I do?

I can see full frontal the mess that we’re getting into, which once upon a time in a different world -my world. Oh, how I wish I was there right now, - would have been a good sign. Seeing Kane Hodder, Robert Englund and Lin Shaye and the ‘Guts and Glory Jubilee’ banner would be a sign I’m about to have a good night full of horror movie enjoyment and probably fanfiction as well. But now I see it and I wish to never watch that movie again, much like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise.

Hoyt puts his hand on the car door handle next to him. “No, no, no, don’t get outta the car!” I exclaim, quietly and reaching to grab him back but he looks over at me, gives me a ‘I do what I want’ kind of look and then gets out of the car.

“Good afternoon, sheriff! Welcome to our Guts and Glory Jubilee! You’re our honoured guests!”

Oh, dear god.

Hoyt slams his car door shut and Luda and I wince at the sudden noise. “What the hell are you people doing out here in the middle of the road??! Me and my family are tryna get through here.”

“Aw, my bad sheriff! We’re just so tickled to have you with us this fine day!” Buckman doesn’t seem stirred that Hoyt’s clearly southern, and therefore ‘confederate’, like him, as far as he’s concerned which is what I was hoping for, so I decide to blow this whole situation out of water- I have no choice.

And what, in hell’s name, could I possibly lose at this point?

I lean forward in the car, keeping an eye on the scene, to talk to Luda Mae. “Hey, so this may be a bad time to mention this but, uh.” How do I break this news? “Well, I’m from a different universe. That multiverse noise? That’s real. Anyway, more importantly, I’m from a world in which you and your sons, and Monty, are just movie characters. Your movie is called ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’, Thomas is the Texan Chainsaw guy and he is called Leatherface.” Luda’s slowly turning her head to look at me like have 7 eyeballs. I keep talking through, quickly ad feverishly, desperate. “I know it sounds crazy, and you can ask me any question about ya’ll’s passed if you want as proof but just get your son back in this car please. This place also has its own movie, and its even less pretty then what goes on in your house.” I look pleadingly at her, hoping to God, by some miracle she believes me.

“Sit back down!! I’ve been in a car with 3 sweatin’, stinky men for 6 hours now today and I am in no mood for your stories.” She turns back in her seat. “God.”  

“Oh Jesus, you said it… “ I whine, plopping back down in my seat, looking at Hoyt and Buckman who have now met in front of the car and aren’t yelling at each other across the road and immediately assume the fucking confederate mayor is successfully feeding the fucking fraudulent sheriff’s ego, and drop my face into my hands. A few minutes pass, and I stay like this, occasionally making frustrated crying sounds without really crying, and getting annoyed groans and ‘shut up’s from Monty beside me, until a hit to the car jolts me up. “What! What? What’s happening- are they attacking!?”

Everyone who heard, ignores me and I see it’s just Hoyt coming around the car opening Thomas’ side. Oh god, breeze has neve felt so terrifying. “Come on out, family. We’re stayin’ the night! I can’t tolerate settin’ in this car with you people anymore.” On no. No, no, no. STAYING?

Thomas gets out and Luda Mae follows, opening Monty’s door for him and letting him out onto his wheelchair that Thomas gets out of the trunk for him and unfolds. I cross my arms and stay inside. When Hoyt realises this, he leans down to peer inside the car at me and thrusts a thumb to point behind him. Slowly, menacingly he drawls. “Get out of this car.”

Oh, what is he going to do? What could he possibly do that he hasn’t already done to me.

I stubbornly look away. “You said family, I’m not family. I’m not leaving this car, no way. You can’t make me.”

“You wanna bet, sugar?”

He reaches in, wraps a calloused hand around one of my arms and starts pulling me until I topple out of the car, into the dirt. He lets go of me and immediately slams the car door closed again so I don’t slither back in.

“Fuck.” I mutter, glaring up at him from the floor. He locks the car in front of my eyes.

“Now, when you’re feeling more like an adult and not a child, you can come on to our room- that building over there. “ I feel like running after him when he walks off to the building, but before I can get myself out of the dusty, beige dirt, a hand enters my vision and I follow it up and scream on the inside. Mayor George Fucking Buckman.

He smiles so charmingly… you could nearly believe he isn’t depraved. Then I see the eyepatch and I’m reminded. “Would you let me help you up outta the dirt, little miss?”

Mmmm, I guess.

Best to stay on his good side, I think as I take his hand and he hauls me up. I don’t want to be on the receiving end of one of those glares that the whole town like to take part in with him. Noooo thank you. Not for me.

“Thank you.” I say quickly, looking to get out of there and find the Hewitt’s. They’ve all disappeared into the building Hoyt went towards a moment ago now. I brush the dirt off my pants and then clap my hands off of each other to get rid of the dirt that’s on them now, and any remnants of feeling Buckman’s hand, then flash a tight smile in Buckman’s general direction and escape towards the building.

They have to listen to me!

I burst into the place and see Thomas trailing behind the rest of that devil family down a hallway and run down there. “Thomas!” I pant, because that was a long hallway. Where are we now?! The Overlook hotel!?! “Thomas, what kind of warden are you? Please, don’t you ever leave me alone with that man ever again!” Thomas narrows his eyes suspiciously at me above his normal, leather mask -Luda and Hoyt had decided before we left their murder mansion that the human flesh mask would probably not fly in normal society, so he swapped it in for the old one,- then nods in front of him for me to walk there where can watch, and I gladly go there.

___TIME SKIP: A couple hours later___

All day, I have been trying to persuade the Hewitt’s that I’m not from here. I described Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning in explicit detail, including of course the Sheriff Hoyt thing, the Eric/Dean confusion, Bailey, Monty’s legs being chainsawed off… I even recruited some comic book information about Hoyt’s time in the Prisoner of War Camp and Sargent Chow, but they just think I’m a stalker now.

I mean, why the fuck not? Why wouldn’t I stalk these freaks? Truly, being around them has been a joy filled time.

I don’t throw back at my face that I watched their movies religiously, readers. That’s was when I thought they were fictional! (Yeah, I know you’re there reading this. This sure feels like a fanfiction to me, and as a fangirl, I’m an expert.)

So, I’ve decided I have one more option. One more chance to survive.

Hopefully this doesn’t go worse then plan A did.

Through pretending like the rope around my wrists was too tight when Hoyt tied me up by the hands to his bed frame, when really in truth it was a bit loose, I manage to make him think I’m stuck for the night. So, when he falls asleep – I know he’s asleep because he snores like a feral racoon… that also has rabies… (He drools) – I carefully, quietly, I struggle out of the ropes and carefully put them on the floor. Then turn to the window.

We’re on the second level of this building, but the possibility of a broken bone or two will not deter me from getting out of this mess. Especially since Thomas is waiting in the hallway outside this room for any sign of me trying to escape and getting hurt from falling out of a window is much preferred to meeting the business end of his chainsaw.

Not that I’ll be out of danger when I get out… as I’ll still be in Pleasant Valley… but I will have completed Level 1 at least.

Opening the window, I wince and look back at Hoyt to make sure the gentle rubbing sound the window makes against the frame doesn’t wake him, then turn back and immediately get to crawling out. Once I have succeeded in getting onto the ledge I hold on to the gutter - hoping beyond hope that it’s sturdy, - and reclose the blinds and push the window closed as well again. Covering my tracks.

Then I start the perilous journey down the building, which somehow, I succeed in! When I finally drop down on the dirt again and turn around though, I nearly out loud this time. “Miss Shaye! -“I stop myself, making an ‘Oop’ sound. You would think I would stop making these mistakes- I have been tortured and keep prisoner by the Hewitt family. Certainly not the late R. Lee. Ermey or Andrew Bryniarski either. The Hewitt’s. - But alas, I am still making this mistake apparently. “Sorry, you remind me of someone else!” I smile at Granny Boone, who must have been standing there watching the whole time I conquered the hotel building, stands with her hands on her hips and one eyebrow purposely halfway up her forward. She’s waiting for an explanation. “I didn’t want to wake up my family, and its time for the midnight stroll. Couldn’t sleep!”

My heartbeat races in my chest, because I have every confidence that this woman could kill me with her bare hands if she doesn’t like my answer. For a few moments, she makes me wait as she does looks at me suspiciously like Thomas. Oh god, are you going to eat me or not, ghost lady!?

“Oh, well that’s very considerate of you! Could I join you on your walk? I’m in the same boat.”

Oh, for fudges sake.

I smile politely though, and we start walking side by side down the middle of town. Silence hangs between us, but as we walk, I start to think this could work. I was planning on finding Buckman and telling him my story to see if he would believe me and do something because this whole town is supernatural and hard to believe, but I actually think this may have worked out in my favour! Maybe. He’s a sexist, chauvinistic bigot. But at the very least Boone’s a woman like me, with less of a boner for authority so hopefully she’ll at least listen. So… maybe…?

“So… “I start, sounding loud since it’s so quiet out here. “Can we talk? Woman to woman? I don’t know, you just seem trustworthy!” Oh, puke. What am I saying? “Sorry if I’m out of line, but… something crazy’s going on in my life.”

“Oh, trust me. I know crazy.” I side eye her as she smirks ‘mysteriously’. Oh, I know you know crazy, lady. I know. I know it all. You know crazy intimately. “Uh but go on. Sure thing. What kind of good Christian lady would I be if I didn’t bend an ear to our esteemed special guests?”

… Uhuh.

Well, okay! Works for me. “Thank you.” I clap my hands together. “Well. It started a month ago now, I guess… Haven’t really been able to keep up with time. First, I should probably explain the multiverse theory…”

[desirexwolf]

Night Before Christmas

Summary: Christmas had always been a quiet affair for the Parkers and when Peter met Tony Stark, he didn't think anything would change about that. Tony proves him wrong.

Word count: 2951

This is my entry for @irondadsecretsanta! I wrote this for the amazing @whumphoarder, happy holidays. <33

Winter had always been Peter's favorite time of the year. Ever since he could remember, December was the time of fairy lights, hot chocolate and May's burnt Christmas cookies. Ben would take Peter to pick out a Christmas tree and all three of them would decorate it afterwards. His uncle always picked Peter up to put the star on top even when Peter was already a teenager.

And then it was just May and Peter.

They spent their first Christmas after Ben's death in a diner down the street after May burnt the turkey, both of them silently wiping away tears. Neither of them really was in the Christmas spirit.

After that, May tried to give Peter a proper Christmas every year. The weeks leading up to the holidays she would take countless double shifts in the hospital to afford at least a Lego set for her nephew. It was different from what they were used to, but they made it work.

When Peter met Tony Stark, he didn't think anything would change about that.

But after the whole showdown with the vulture, the two of them got a lot closer than either of them originally anticipated. Peter regularly went to the compound for upgrades and after a while, he would spend whole weekends with Tony tinkering in his lab.

They didn't spend Christmas together, but they got each other presents and for New Year's Tony even invited him and May up to the compound.

Barely half a year later, Thanos invaded the earth. Then Titan happened.

When he woke up, five years had passed and Tony almost lost his life defeating Thanos. And now, December 23nd, he is sitting in the Stark's living room, surrounded by fairy lights in each corner of the room when a little thatch of brown hair comes rushing in and barreling into his legs.

"Petey!" Morgan climbs up on the spot next to him with a serious look on her face, skipping the greeting to focus on more serious matters. "Gerald needs a bell."

Peter grins. "Oh yeah and why is that?"

"Because someone's got a little bit too deep into the Christmas spirit while shopping," Tony calls. He enters the living room with a bag so huge he has to use both arms to carry it and drops it onto the dining table with a huff. "Isn't that right, Madam Secretary?"

Morgan just giggles.

Peter picks her up and walks over to Tony, sparing a glance into the overflowing shopping bag. "Jesus, how much did you buy?"

"Don't ask me, I just paid for the stuff. But someone else here was very convinced we could not celebrate Christmas without these," - Tony pulls out a box with obnoxiously white and pink Christmas balls - "very beautiful Hello Kitty decorations."

Morgan hides her face in Peter's neck with a mischievous smile and presses her cold nose against his skin. He wraps his left arm around her waist so he can look through the bag with the other hand, pushing through numerous fairy lights, candles and Christmas balls.

"Well, I don't see a bell," Tony quirks an eyebrow at him and Peter shrugs. "The Chef said Gerald needs a bell and I do agree. He does need a bell."

Tony scoffs. "You're supposed to agree with me here, you know?"

Peter just smiles while Morgan throws her arms around his neck in a strangling hug.

"Unbelievable, betrayed by my own blood. Savages, both of you." Tony says and wraps his arms around his daughter, pulling her away from Peter and tickling her sides.

Morgan squeals loudly and wiggles out of Tony's grasp. She slaps his hands away when he playfully jabs her side again. "Can I go look for Uncle Happy?"

"Sure you can. But don't talk him into Juice Pops before dinner, Mom sees everything, you know that!" Tony calls after her, but Morgan was already dashing out of the living room in search of her uncle.

Peter stifles a laugh and Tony turns to the teenager, clapping a hand down on his shoulder. "Yeah, laugh it up. Don't think I'm letting you off the hook, you'll help me unpack all of that."

Peter whines, but starts to take the decorations out off the shopping bag and throwing them onto the dining table. He's at his fourth packing of fairy lights when he speaks up. "Not to judge but, uh, where do you plan to put all of that?"

"The basement," Tony picks up a ginormous, fluffy elk with a Santa hat and examines it with a skeptical frown. "Pepper is going to have a fit when she sees all of that stuff, so let's pick up the pace, kiddo."

Peter grins, but keeps unpacking silently.

To be honest, Peter enjoys the overbearing Christmas spirit the Stark's have going on. And that does include all the unnecessary Christmas decorations, so he actually doesn't mind helping Tony unpack everything. Peter just hopes that May will think something similar when she joins them on Christmas Eve instead of finding it too overbearing. She was at a staff training in New Jersey over the weekend, which is why Happy had picked Peter up from school and brought him to the lake house to spend the days leading up to Christmas there.

"- Hey, kid, you listening to me?"

Peter jerks up, blinking at Tony. "Sorry, what? I- I didn't catch that."

"Yeah, I noticed," Tony smirks, but his smile is soft and his eyes held a fondness that was reserved only for his kids. "I asked how your Spanish exam went. You tired, kid?"

Now that Tony mentioned it, Peter realizes that he was tired. He had been generally exhausted for the past two weeks, but between finals and patrols he had paid that not a lot of thought. Now that he could relax, the ache in his bones became unpleasantly obvious.

"Worn out from finals, I guess." he admits sheepishly.

Tony nods and walks around the table to Peter. "Yeah, you look it." he mutters, running his flesh hand through the teenager's hair. Peter makes a sound of protest but it quickly dies down when he leans into the comforting touch. He reminds Tony of a kitten. "You wanna catch a quick nap before dinner? I got the rest of this. And

don't worry, I'll cover for you with Madam Secretary."

Peter chuckles quietly, feeling drained all of the sudden. "You sure?"

"100%. Now go before I change my mind." Tony says and gives Peter a gentle push towards the hallway before turning back to the dining table.

Peter just gives him a mock salute in return.

He can hear Morgans‘ enthusiastic chattering outside when he walks down the hallway to his room and closes the door behind him, blocking out the noise. He shuts the window for good measure as well and pulls the curtains closed before crawling under the covers. Peter falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.

X

It’s already dark outside when Pepper comes home from work. Tony had thankfully managed to clear all evidence of their Christmas shopping, stuffing most of it into already overbearing corners in the hope that his wife wouldn’t notice that way.

Morgan had claimed the hideous elk they bought as hers though, dragging both Happy and the stuffed toy into the living room to play while Tony prepared dinner.

After hearing his wife greet Morgan and Happy in the room next door Pepper joins Tony in the kitchen, giving him a peck on the cheek. “Where are you hiding Peter?”

“In his room, catching up on sleep before dinner.”

Pepper hums and leans over her husband’s shoulder to peek into the cooking pot. Tony turns around, putting his hands on Peppers waist and gives her a kiss to greet her properly.

“You’re just trying to keep me away from your chili, aren’t you?” she grins up at him, wrapping her arms around Tony’s neck.

“Well, is it working? It’s the only thing I can cook, you know.”

Pepper just chuckles quietly before going in for another kiss.

Tony breaks the embrace first, picking up the wooden spoon from the counter and holding it out to his wife. “Don’t let the food scorch while I go and wake Peter.

He hands the spoon over to Pepper and sticks his head into the living room to tell Happy and Morgan that dinner’s almost ready before heading down the hallway to

Peter’s room.

Tony stops in front of the door and knocks. “Peter,” he calls out. “Dinner’s ready.”

When he doesn’t receive a response, Tony huffs and opens the door. Unsurprisingly, Peter’s room is immersed into darkness, lights shut off and the curtains drawn. It’s only from the faint light in the hallway that Tony can see the bed and Peter, completely hidden under his comforter.

Tony makes his way over to him and peels the blanket away from the heap that is Peter. Woken up from the sudden movement, the teenager blinks up at him owlishly. “Good morning, sunshine,” Tony says and sits down on the edge of the bed. “Dinner’s ready. You want to try and emerge from your cave?”

Peter groans. He sits up and rubs his eyes, curls falling loosely into his face. “I slept. Why am I still so tired?”

“Burden of being a teenager, huh?”

Peter just glares at him halfheartedly and Tony pats Peter’s calf through the blanket. “C’mon, chop chop. Dinner’s getting cold.”

With a sigh Peter moves to get up from the bed and Tony waits until he’s on his feet before leaving the room.

In the kitchen Pepper was already serving the food while Morgan’s sitting at the table. Morgan beams as Tony enters room and he blows a raspberry on her cheek while passing by her seat. She giggles, but is already distracted when Peter shuffles into the kitchen.

“Petey”, she cheers and Peter tries to smile. “You’re awake!”

If you can call it that, Tony thought. In the bright kitchen light the kid looks the worse for wear, two shades too pale and deep bags under his eyes. But even though the kid’s obviously exhausted, he still tries to keep up his banter with Morgan and sits down beside her.

Tony keeps up conversation with Pepper during dinner, she tells him that Happy had to leave before dinner because he was needed in town, but he can’t help glancing back at Peter every now and then. He’s barely touching his food and when everyone else is already finished, not even half of it is gone.

“Didn’t you like it?” Morgan wonders loudly, suspiciously eyeing Peter’s plate.

Before Peter can response, Tony chimes in. “Morguna, why don’t you go in the living room and pick out a movie we can watch,” he gets up and loops an arm around Morgan’s waist, picking her up. “That sound like a good idea?”

“Yeah!” she cheers and Tony presses a series of kisses onto her cheek before she runs into the living room.

Pepper had already begun to collect the dishes and Tony quickly jumps in to help her with dish washing. Peter now gets up as well, bringing the last bowl over to the sink before asking if he can help out.

“Oh no, sweetie, I’ve got it covered.” Pepper assures him with a smile.

Tony goes to ruffle Peter’s hair, but halts when he comes into contact with his skin. He runs his hand through the kid’s hair until he can cup the back of his head and holds Peter in place to put his lips onto his forehead.

Peter balks, but Tony doesn’t pay that any attention and instead moves back with a frown and replaces his lips with a palm to the cheek. “You’re warm.”

“What’s going on?” Pepper asks over the running water, turning her head over her shoulder.

“Kid’s coming down with something.”

“I’m not,” Peter protests, moving back so he’s out of Tony’s reach. “I’m just tired, okay? Finals were exhausting and- and patrols just take longer now because apparently no one got the memo that you don’t do crimes on Christmas and-”

“Woah kid, hey,” Tony interrupts Peter, putting his hands down on his shoulders. “It’s fine. Let’s just take it easy tonight. C’mon, we’re going to sit down on the couch, I’m sure Morgan needs help picking out a movie.”

He guides one hand down to the small of Peter’s back and steers him towards the living room, but not before throwing a subtle look over his shoulder to Pepper. She looks after Peter concerned before catching Tony’s eye and giving him a meaningful look.

Tony gets Peter settled on the couch and tellingly, Peter lets Tony manhandle him for the most part. He’s just opened out a blanket and places it over Peter when Pepper joins them and sprawls out on the seat next to Tony, pulling Morgan into her lap after she chose Nightmare Before Christmas for them to watch. Tony snorts at the irony of that.

Peter curls up onto the couch, rearranging the blanket until it covered most of Tony’s lap as well before putting his head on Tony’s shoulder. Tony moves his arm around Peter and runs his hand through Peter’s curls, discreetly pulling out his phone to check Peter’s temperature.

He rarely uses FRIDAY these days, but for occasions like this he still had her installed in the lake house. Tony didn’t need her to power the suit anymore, so she was more of a convenience than anything else.

Peter’s temperature sits around 99.8 and while that wasn’t exactly a fever, it was an elevated temperature. Tony frowns as he looks down at Peter, brushing hair away from his forehead.

“What?” Peter suddenly asks, almost slurring with tiredness, and looks up at Tony blearily.

“Hm?”

“I can feel you starring at me,” he mumbles quietly to not distract Morgan from her movie, closing his eyes again and cuddling into Tony’s chest. “S’creepy.”

Tony snorts in amusement and lowers his cheek onto Peter’s head. “Go to sleep, kiddo.”

“M’kay.”

Sometime during the movie Morgan had moved to lay on both Tony and Pepper’s laps, snoring quietly and outstretched like a starfish which, to be honest, was pretty impressive given the little space she had. Pepper was leaning against his metal arm, playing with Morgan’s hair in her lap while Peter was asleep on Tony’s chest

Tony was drifting off himself when Pepper leans in. “I’m going to bring Morgan upstairs and then go to bed,” she whispers. “You want me to wait for you?”

Tony glances at Peter, then shakes his head. “No, it’s okay.”

“Alright.”

Pepper gives Tony a goodnight kiss before lifting Morgan up into her arms. She stirs but doesn’t wake and Pepper carries her out of the room, giving him and Peter a

soft smile before closing the door behind her.

X

When Peter wakes up the next morning it’s to a splitting headache.

He opens his eyes with a low moan, blinking until his vision clears up and realizes that he’s, in fact, not in his bed. He’s sprawled out on the couch, curled up to Tony with his head on the man’s chest.

Tony’s still asleep so Peter tries to sit up without waking him, but as soon as he moves pain shoots through his head and he flinches, letting out an involuntary groan.

“Peter?” Tony asks groggily, propping himself up onto his elbow. But as soon as he sees Peter, grimacing in pain, he sits up abruptly and puts a hand on Peter’s back. “Hey, kid, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“Headache.” he croaks out and Tony puts the back of his hand to Peter’s forehead.

“Shit. Friday, temperature.”

“102.4° Fahrenheit, boss.” the AI answers and Tony pats Peter’s shoulder in sympathy, the teenager whining quietly.

Tony gets up from the couch. “Sit tight, kid.”

He disappears into the kitchen and Peter falls back onto the couch, curling up around a pillow and squeezing his eyes shut.

He must have dosed off again because he startles at the sound of the curtains being pulled shut. When he opens his eyes again, the room his comfortably dark and he watches Tony sit back down on the couch holding pain killers and a glass of water.

“Here,” Tony hands both over to Peter. “How are you doing? You feel like eating?”

“Not really.”

Peter takes the painkillers and drinks about half the glass of water before he puts it down on the coffee table. Tony’s not taking his eyes off him, face set into a worried frown.

“C’mon, say it.” Peter sighs.

“Say what?”

“That you were right and told me that I was coming down with something beforehand”, Peter settles down against the back off the couch and Tony moves to sit beside him. “I’m ruining Christmas.”

Tony ducks his head to meet Peter’s eyes. “You’re not ruining anything, kiddo, okay? I’ll take care of you and you’ll be fine by tomorrow, just wait. We'll make it work, I promise.”

Tony puts an arm around Peter and pulls him back against his side. Peter cuddles up to him again, resting his head on Tony’s chest while he pulls the blanket back over Peter. “You just rest now. I’m not going anywhere.” At the end of the day, Peter is still sick on Christmas Eve. He's running a decent fever and Tony dotes on him like a mother hen, making him broth and massaging his scalp to try and ease the headache while Morgan brings him Juice Pops he can't eat because he's nauseous. He wouldn't have it any other way.

My very tiny, very cute taglist of very tiny, very cute people (let me know if you want to be tagged for future works): @baloobird @toomuchtoread33 @fourleafchloe @gabesgoldwings @starbirks @yepokokfine ​@thatmarvelstan @autisticbabynurse @crytallized @mysterio-is-a-little-bitch @sbiderman-ironcan @iron-damn

[familiarvulpes]

Tool - Fear Inoculum Album Review

It feels good to review albums again. I reviewed albums last year for about six months but it just became too much trying to juggle everything with personal life and day job and writing songs for the channel and creating stuff for the second channel. But now instead of doing video reviews, I can do blog reviews. To be honest I don’t know why I did not think of this sooner. Album reviews will be about once a month. If I am feeling giddy then maybe two. Another good thing with doing reviews through this blog is I can spend more time on each album talk about it more and give more thought to each review. Like before with the reviews that were on the YouTube channel. Each album will get a score between one and ten. The higher the score, the more I enjoyed the album. It is just a number on how much I enjoyed it. It is just an opinion. One thing I am going to add is that in these reviews here on the blog, I will go track by track and talk about each one specifically.

The first album I am going to review or talk about is the brand new album from Tool “Fear Inoculum.” The first time I heard Tool is a toss up because I can't really remember. It was either on the video game Guitar Hero World Tour. It had three songs from them. “Vicarious” “Parabola” and “Schism.” The other time that it could have been the first time I heard Tool is when in high school I was in the car with my band mates and he played Tool. I believe it was Sober. Either one of those two were the first time but ever since then, I have been obsessed with them. They are the reason I make the music I do. I never knew you could make with dark spin and a hint of ambiance. Unfortunately, by the time I discovered them it was after “10,000 Days.” If you are a Tool fan then you know that is a horrible time to become a fan because it would be 13 years before any new music would come out. I am not going to talk about each time there was a rumor on the internet buring the span or the lawsuits had to deal with during that time. All I want to talk about is the new album.

The first time I listened to the album in full, I was in complete silence and in awe. You can say I was fangirling, I don't care. I love this album. The fillers I am not the biggest fan of but the songs themselves are amazing. You know you are doing something right when you right a ten minute song and it goes to number one on the billboard top 100. My personal favorite on the album is “Culling Voices.” It is the calmer one of the main songs and the lead vocals just make the song. Maynard James Keenan and his haunting voice makes this album very special. I love the album. The wait is worth it. I know people complain about it. I knew once it came out that people would have a problem with it. When you wait 13 years to release an album, there will always be people who expect way too much. I knew that when this would come out that people would feel underwhelmed. This album has become almost a deity with all its rumors and hearsay. Number one rule in life. Don’t try to make other people happy. You can’t make everyone happy. That doesn’t mean be rude to everyone but do things that benefit you. Now onto the songs.

Fear Inoculum

The First song on the album, and the single, opens up with your classic Tool ambiance. From faded in and out guitars that pan left to right , which is a good touch, to the drums and synths from the incredibly talented Danny Carey. After a while the bass comes in. What brought me to love Tool is the bass riffs. They play bass like a guitar which gives them part of their sound I believe. If you would ask me what is the heart of Tool music, I would say the bass. I know not a lot of people would agree with me but I can not think of another rock band has the bass guitar be so unique. Most of the time the bassist is just playing the root notes of what the guitarist is playing. But with Tool, the bass gives something more to the songs. Then Maynard James Keenan comes with the vocals. His vocals on not just this one but all of the songs sound amazing. The vocals are crisp and clear and just the overall tone of his voice is beautiful. The word inoculum I had to look up and it turns out Maynard talked about ‘inoculating’ in an interview about his wine making business. This interview was like three four years ago. The title was right in front of us for so long and yet we were looking for some weird spiritual things. No, its a wine making things, at least I think. I am not the greatest at grammer. Worst subject in school. At one point Mayrd does this whisper type of vocals and goes right into singing. The melody during the ‘chorus’, I was not expecting. Do not get me wrong, it was a pleasant surprise. Then after a whole the bridge hits and it is classic Tool. Almost dissonant guitars with punchy bass riffs. It calms down with the whole band with Maynard doing a very eerie vocal performance. The next vocal part is chant like. This song just goes into one thing after another. The transitions between are performed smoothly and precise which I expect no less from these guys. Then at the end of the songs everything picks up and gets heavier. At times it sounds like there are two drummers but in fact just one drums with 42 arms. I don’t know how the guy does it. You also have a guitar solo that sounds similar to something you would hear on 10,000 days. Then the very end is just guitars and crazy drums. I love this song. I think it is the perfect single for the album because it is the ‘catchiest’ on the whole thing.

Pheuma

The second song on the album is called “Pneuma.” This might be the most “Toolest” title ever because the word pneuma means the spirit or soul of a person. The song starts with a guitar riff that is kind of hard to explain. It is unique but hard to explain. Then the drums come and play some complicated groove that I am not going to even try to count because I am bad at math. Then it fades out to a bass riff that is in an odd time signature with a delay effect so the whole thing so far is in classic Tool fashion with being in an odd time signature. The guitar joins the bass in the same groove with a delay affect so it gives it a more spacey vibe to the riff. Then the Maynard comes in and the song officially starts. This song also has some chanting like parts from Maynard which is a theme in the album so far. I can only imagine what it is like live. After the chanting it goes into open chords and drums fills and just a huge sound. The quality on this record just surprises me every time how clear and crisp it is. The song continues a little while instrumentally and then goes back in the chanting like vocals with a little bit different guitar. This song is much more trippy and spacey than “Fear Inoculum.” It continues the pattern so far for quite a while. For some, I could see that being a turn off but I enjoy mainly because I love the sound to begin with but I can see why people would say that the record is too repetitive. I think it is meant to be repetitive because I have always seen Tool as a band that make music for meditation and it is hard to meditate to a three minute song. After several rounds of the same thing it breaks to just bass and what I think are bongos but I could be wrong. Then Synths come into the mix. That is another thing I believe they added more of than the previous releases is synths. I have noticed that synths are making a comeback, especially analog or modular. They’re just fun toys and super easy to make trippy music with. The song has a solo that sounds like a Tool solo. That is one thing about the solo’s is that once you hear you can instantly know who plays it. After the solo, it goes into a super heavy riff that is one of my favorites in the album. It is almost like a breakdown. The guitar tones rip through the mix in the best way possible and then song goes back into the chanting like vocals with the whole band just going crazy. The whole song explodes at the end. This song is becoming the fans favorite one I can see why because it has all the classic Tool characteristics but more. The song slowly fades out with instruments. My favorite thing of the song is the bass and delay effects. I am a huge nerd for delay effects and reverb so anytime I hear stuff like this I just love it.

Litanie contre la Peur

This is the first filler song for the digital album. Funny story about this song. First off you have to know what it sounds like. It is this super creepy synth that fades in slowly. The sound is very disheartening and creepy. One night at 4 in the morning, myc at apparently got on my computer keyboard and hit the play button and this song is the song that played. I was so freaked out. I thought the raptured happened or aliens invaded or a ghost with a broken flute was haunting me but it was just my silly cat. The song is ok. Like I said before, I am not the biggest fan of the fillers. I just am not sure why they put them in. If it was to make the album more than ten songs then ok maybe I understand. It is just ok this one. But lesson learned. Don’t have your cat walk on your computer keyboard.

Invincible

This is one is to me the best song lyrical on the album. It starts with a sweet guitar riff. It goes on for a bit but there are some changes in the riff so it is not the same thing over and over. Then the bongo whatever things come in and then Maynard starts singing. Like I said before, the lyrics on this one are amazing to me. From what I got from it is a person struggling to stay relevant, which is kind of the theme on the whole record but this song really hits the nail on the head on that theme. Then after a while a break happens with another Tool bass riff with a delay affect on it and goes back into Maynard singing. Just like before but without guitar and a more of a focus on the bass. After a little bit, the guitar comes back and whole the whole bands plays this trippy whatever you call it. One thing about this song is the chugging is real in this one and yet still has parts of ambiance in it. Like the ones before, the transitions are smooth and clean. For about the first half of the song they kind of repeat the riffs and parts but add little differences to them. Pretty much you are going to hear something different every time you listen to it. Around the six minute mark there is the first breakdown. Again the tones are monster. The breakdown does not last long but later in the song, they make sure to properly do a breakdown. It is kind of weird to talk about and the usage of breakdowns but they do great at them I think. Around the seven minute mark, it cuts to what is almost a different song or a different tempo. Super trippy and psychedelic. Then goes into a very tribal chugging part. It sounds like something you would hear from a tribe like thousands of years ago that is about to go to war or sacrifice some goat or fish or something. Maynard adds some vocals in this part with some effects on his vocals. I am not sure what the effect is though. The tribal chugging continues for a bit then breaks into super heavy chugging even though it's the same riff. It is just really heavy. Only complaint about this super heavy thing is that it does go for a long time. I would’ve liked to hear some ambient stuff or something different as the breakdown went along. Then all of the sudden when you think the song is over the whole band comes back in with a killer riff and picks up the tempo a little bit. The end of the song, the whole band just jams out and does what Tool does best. I love this song especially the lyrics on it.

Legion Inoculant

This is the second filler. More ambient-synth stuff. It is border-line noise music. You hear some vocals from Maynard from songs on this album. This is my favorite filler on the album because I do love noise/drone music.

Descending

This one the band has been playing bits and pieces of for a couples before the release of the album. It starts off with ambient noise and then comes in a bass riff with what sounds like a phaser or chorus effect. This riff is the riff they played at shows before the release of the album. Not long after the riff starts Maynard starts to sing. The songs start off very calm and hypnotic like but you can already tell it is in an odd time signatures. This song is more ambient than the others and somewhat chiller than the others. I am not saying that is a bad thing at all. Sometimes you gotta chill and relax and not listen to constant tribal chugging. Around the five minute mark, things pick up and up, not much and then the guitar and bass ring out to start with chugging on the guitar and the bass riff that was in the beginning of the song. This song so far is just one big build up. The part in the song where Maynard sings loudly “Stay Alive” is just so haunting. Around right before the seven minute mark the band goes into a massive jam session with Danny Carey just destroying the toms and the bass and guitar sounding massive. Adam Jones goes into a solo that just Tool. One thing I did not expect was the harmonizing on the guitar during the solo which I thought was a very nice touch. Then the ambiance comes back with the guitars fading in and out and the same bass riff that was in the beginning of the song. The jamming comes back in the while the band and you almost forget you’re listening to a song because it puts you into a trance, at least it did to me. Then another solo comes in and Danny Carey is just destroying the drums. This song just has so much in it. I think over half the song is instrumental and if you know me, I love that. The song just ends with the band going crazy. There is not much more to say about it that that.

Culling Voices

This song is hands down my favorite. It starts off with some sweet ambient noise and goes into a beautiful guitar riff. Maynard comes shortly after. What I like about this song is the vocals and melodies. That are so haunting and hit so hard. The song itself so almost creepy it is so haunting and I love it. This is actually, when it comes to songs, is the shortest at ten minutes and five seconds. Says a lot about the album when the shortest actually song is over ten minutes. My favorite part of the song is when Maynard sings “Don’t you dare point that at me.” I don’t know why I love it but I do. Maybe it is the style of singing he is doing or maybe it hits with me personally. I don’t know. I just love it. The guitars for most of the beginning of the song remind of a post rock band. It could easily be mistaken for a post rock band like God is an Astronaut or Russian Circles if you added more reverb to it. After a while the bass comes in with its own riff and of course sounds amazing. Around the six minute mark, you can tell the song is slowly starting to pick up. As Maynard sings “Don’t You Dare Point That At Me,” The song grows and explodes with full band just going crazy. Even Maynard after a while pretty much screams it in like a whisper cream. The song has a little break near the end but of course picks back up with another jam. This album is full of jams. Every now and then on the internet you will see a person ask for an instrumental album from Tool. There are plenty of instrumental parts on this album that will suffice their fancy. This song is great, I love it. It is my favorite it and I don’t feel like it is talked about enough.

Chocolate Chip Trip

This is my least favorite thing on the album. The synths I do not care but this is just a drum solo. I Know Danny carey is a monster of a drummer but the synths on this just ruin it for me.

7empest

The Longest song on the album. Clocking in at almost sixteen minutes. It starts with a guitar intro that similar to ones throughout the album but then goes into a riff that sounds like it could be on a Tool album in the 90’s. Reminds me of chevelle almost. They said in interviews I believe that they had this riff for years and now are able to put it into a song. The song sounds like it could be on undertow. Even the vocals and melodies sound like undertow. Out of all the albums, Undertow is my least favorite but has one of my favorite songs on it. That album to me feels like they were beginning to find their sound. Around the two minutes and forty second mark, they do a quick chugg thing then go right back into the song. Maynard’s vocals are angriest on this one when compared to the whole album. Of course it is in an odd time signature. I am not going to try to figure it out. The more you listen to the song, the more you hear other albums on it. It is ike every album into one song. The band even goes hard on this song. They let everything loose and just go insane. There are guitar solos, sweet bass riffs and insane drums throughout the whole song. The guitar solo goes for quite a while. And more impressive is that it is in an odd time signature as well which of course makes sense. At times I wish there was more singing but I am totally OK with these exteneded instrumental parts. It is hard to digest the whole song in go since it is over fifteen minutes long. Around the half way point of the song, they do this really fast guitar chugging which at first listen took me by surprise because it is just so cool. They have done riffs like that before when it is chugging pull offs but not the fast before. This song is really something else. It is a behemoth of a song because there is so much in it. I could only imagine the writing process for it. No wonder it took so many years to write the album. Around the ten minute and forty second mark they do a nasty breakdown that you can’t but help bob your head to and right after that, goes right back into a solo. Once the solo ends, you hear the guitar riff you heard at the very start of the song. It picks back up and the band goes crazy again. This song is a rollercoaster. At the end you heard that nasty breakdown with vocals for a short period and everything fades out at the end.

Mockingbeat

This is the last song on the digital version and probably the weirdest filler thing on the album. I am not sure what it is. I don’t really understand. But they put it on the album for a reason and there is probably some hidden meaning behind it but we will probably never know. Or maybe we are looking to much into it. Oh well.

Final Thoughts

The albums is a 9/10 For me. At times, I wish there was more singing and yes at times it does repeat a lot but that does not take away from the masterpiece that is this album. And now time to wait 54 years for the next Tool album.

If you want your album reviewed. Email perfectdourthrecords@gmail.com. There is a small fee but email for any other questions.

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Destiny of the Damned

Part 1 - Meeting Roman

Chapter 3 - Zombie

"Why wouldn't you go on dates? They're fun. Even if you end up never speaking to the person again, how else are you going to embarrass yourself singing karaoke, or bowling, or playing putt putt golf, or laser tag?" I asked.

"I'm more interested in fast forwarding to the end of the date." He smiled and winked at me. "Besides, I don't think I've ever done any of those things you said... Ever"

"Whhhhhhaaaaattttttt? Shut your dirty whore mouth." I exclaimed wide eyed with my mouth hanging open.

"What? That stuff is too cheesy for me. I've got a lot on my plate, I don't have time for nonsense."

"When I grow up, I wanna be just like you." I say like a smart-ass, resting my chin in my palm as i lean on the center console "Ok change of plans. We are now going to this address." I keyed in the new information into the navigation.

"Is this like your favorite place?" he asks with a smirk.

"No, I've never gone, but I remember reading about it."

"So any address you ever see, you remember forever?" he asks incredulously.

"Yes. Anything I read or see, I remember. Not so much what I hear always."

He raised my hand to his pillow lips and gently kissed along my knuckles and across the back of my hand. He took my index finger into his mouth and gently sucked on it, turning his lustful gaze on me with such intensity, i could feel the heat in my core. I could see how he got his reputation, and Although it felt nice, I blurted out my first thought.

"I bet you made out with your hand when you were a kid huh? Like when you decided to practice?"

He froze and removed my finger from his mouth and turned to me rolling his eyes, "Don't you find me attractive?"

"Duh." I giggled.

"Duh?" He shook his head and dropped my hand putting both hands on the wheel and staring ahead with a sour look on his perfect face.

I stare at him as he continues to ignore me. Good fucking luck buddy. I got my phone out and opened my karaoke app. I turned the radio off and selected a song I figured everyone knew; "Zombie" by the Cranberries.

"Excuse me, I was listening to that." Roman said, flashing me an annoyed look, as he reached to turn his radio back on, but I karate chop his hand at the last moment, and he lets out a yelp in surprise.

"Hiya!" I shouted playfully. "We are going to sing karaoke on the way and get that off your bucket list."

"I wasn't aware that was on my list." He said icily, staring straight ahead again looking even meaner.

"Brrrr. It's so cold in here... must be you." I take my seat belt off and lean across the center console and breath hot breath on his throat and then lick all the way up to his ear, and then gently kiss his cheek. He visibly melts and lets out a low growl and pulls over. As soon as the suv was in park, he picks me up completely and sets me in his lap before crushing my lips with a frantic kiss. I could feel him getting aroused since I was in his lap, and I pull away to look at him, both of us already out of breath. We lock eyes and he opens his mouth to speak, but thinks better of what it was he was going to say and just returns my gaze with a half smile playing across his lips. I search his face, taking in the Gorgeous green color of his eyes, his pillow soft lips, The little line in the middle of his nose, the hardly noticeable scar on his cheek, his severe cheekbones, the way his face looked almost perfectly symmetrical. He was so beautiful. What the hell do I have to lose here?

"What are you thinking about?" He asks as I lean in to kiss him again.

"How someone so beautiful, can be so lonely." I say against hi lips without thinking. As soon as it comes out, I want to slap myself.

"Who said I was lonely?" He says almost shyly. 

I meet his eyes and tenderly kiss him. I place my hands on each cheek and nibble on his bottom lip ending in a drawn out smooch. I open my eyes and he is staring at me thoughtfully. I nuzzle my nose against his cheek and I feel him relaxing, before he snaps to attention, glring at me suspiciously. 

"Tell me What.You. Want. From. Me."He commanded. His eyes never leaving my own, his intense gaze willing me to tell him what he wants to know. I don't think he knows what it's like to hear no. I try to think of the answer to his question, because I am just as curious what the answer is. finally I think I have the answer. 

"I want you Roman. And I want you to want me. But not the easy way" I said pressing my hand down on his stiff erection. "I want it from here." I placed my hand on his heart and placed his hand on mine.

He looked a little nervous, and broke our eye contact and looked out the window. He chuckles uncomfortably shaking his head, "If you knew me, the real me... you wouldn't say such a thing. I'm ugly and I'm incapable of love. Giving it or receiving it."

My heart broke for him. What could be his reason for saying such a thing? People don't say stuff like that for nothing. This boy had some deep issues and some serious baggage. i let out a big sigh, as  I crawled back over into my seat.

"I should take you back." He said, not making eye contact.

"I'll fucking climb through your doggy door if you try to escape me now." I teased.

He smiles in spite of himself and turns to me with his eyebrow cocked, "I don't have a doggy door."

"It's easy enough to make one." I say seriously as he searches my face for something. 

"Great you're a psycho," He laughs. He was trying not to smile but he couldn't help it. He tried a few times to go back to his brooding mean mug, but then hed glance over at me, and break out into a smile again. "I like you a lot. You're crazy." He leaned over to kiss me gently on my lips, running his fingers into my hair, before pulling away, and turning on the car. "Now let's try this again shall we?"

He truly was breathtaking when he smiled. It was then I decided I wasn't going to be cautious or hold back. I was just going to give 100% and hope for the best. Worst case scenario; i get to have a night with Roman Godfrey, Best case, well I wasnt sure what the best case was but i bet there was a Pinterest or two dedicated to it. 

"You remind me of her so much. Your attitude and free spirited carefree nonsense..." He said wistfully.

"Letha?" I asked.

He nodded slowly.

"She must of been a fucking legend," I joked."Time to sing fool!" I howled.

"You really don't forget do you?".

"um, nope. I'll go first, and you can see how I do it and then, we will switch, and you sing while I drive, and so on and so forth."

"What makes you think I'll let you drive my car?"

"Because I can afford to replace it and you don't give a shit about material possessions anyway." i huff.

He laughed and agreed.

"Prepare to be entertained!" I belt out "Zombie" like i  was on stage performing for thousands. I knew I was an excellent singer and I wanted to impress him and it was clear i Had.

 "Could you sing one more song for me?"

"Sure. What song you wanna hear?" i asked excited he liked my singing.

"Geri by Super Humanoids."

"Oh I like that song." I found the song and started to sing. I decided to use two voices for the man and the woman singer. I sounded kinda silly but I had good range and could do high notes as easily as very low notes. It was actually a challenge sounding so ridiculous and we both laughed and laughed when the song ended.

"Switch." I yelled.

He sighed dramatically, but he pulled over. I jumped out my side and he stepped out walking around the front of the car. Just as we were about to pass each other, I grabbed Roman by his blazer and pushed him against the grill kissing him hungrily. He was all for it and switched positions with me pressing me against the large Mercedes symbol. I reached for his belt buckle and looked at him for permission.

"Wow really?" He hissed mischievously.

"I'm giving you 100%, I'm not being afraid of you, I'm trusting you." I looked up at him innocently. "Can we try that?"

"I don't know beautiful. I've never done that, and we hardly know each other, and you don't want to try that with me." He said looking everywhere but my eyes.

"Yes I do." I stated. "Don't be a pussy, what are you afraid of?"

He looked down at me, still hesitant but with a sparkle in his eye. "I'm terrified of you."

"wow. honesty. youre turn. ask me anything!"

"Tell me your darkest secret... " it was an order, but he wasn't trying to compel me. This was sincere curiosity on his part.

"wow you don't fuck around! Well the date might be over when i tell you, but here goes.' why this question I scream in my head, before blurting out, "I killed my parents, I'm not sorry, and if given the chance, I'd do it again." Shit. That was a bit of an overshare. I could of left out the last half.

Romans eyes grew wide and his eyebrows shot up as he took a few steps back from me. "Fuck baby, you don't gotta tell me why, but did they deserve it?"

"Yes." I said without hesitation. My heart sank as he looked at me strangely, unreadable to me.

"That's so fucking hot." He closed the gap between us and pulled me over to the passenger side of the car, seating me on the seat, facing him as he stood between my legs. His kisses were so fevered and desperate. It's like he was starving and I was the only cure to his hunger. He stripped my shirt off and whimpered when he saw my breasts in my sexiest lace bra that only covers less than half my breasts, and at 36D, that's quite an eyefull. He slipped my nipple into his mouth, circling each nipple several times before sucking on them hard and then lapping at them back and forth at a feverish pace. He pulled my panties off, but left my jean skirt on, and plunged his fingers inside my soaking wet core, using his thumb to rub circles on my clit.

I reached down and unbuckled his belt and pants, freeing the biggest penis I had ever seen. It was more girthy then usual and quite long. No wonder he was so arrogant. "Let me suck your cock please." i stated. I have an admitted oral fixation, and quite enjoy wrapping my lips around a nice cock. theres something about making a man melt, and be putty in your hands, that gets me excited. 

"Yes mam." Roman said breathing heavily and groaning as I run my hand up and down his shaft. He backed up and I got on my knees assessing his cock. My god IT IS EVEN BEAUTIFUL! How is he so perfect? I opened my mouth as wide as I could and barely fit it inside. I had no gag reflex, but even with that advantage, I could only handle a little over half of the total cock in my mouth. I used my hands to work the rest of it, making sure to play with his balls and look up at him now and then. 

He moaned "oh baby, You're so fucking good at that. I swear baby, you are the fucking best blowjob ever and that's saying a lot." He was breathing heavily and watching every thing I did with great interest. "Can I fuck your little pussy now please? Cars keep passing and totally know what we are up to, so we need to hurry, but first I need to bury my cock deep inside of you."

I stood up, wiping drool from my chin, and bent over the seat, offering Roman to take me from behind, but he flipped me around crushing me with his lips as he shoved his cock deep inside me. I couldn't help but to cry out. I'd never felt so full, it was amazing. Anyone that ever says size doesn't matter, is a fucking liar. If I hadn't been so wet, it may have been an issue, but luckily I was embarrassingly dripping.

"I want to see your face as I fuck you, is this ok?" roman moans kissing me deeply again.  "Why do I feel so fucking attached to you like I'm in fucking love with you? What have you done to me angel?" He whimpers as my breath hitches and i nod that I am ok, so he picks up the pace and I scream out his name.

"Harder Roman! It hurts so fucking good. Fucking break me baby,I'm gonna cum, don't you dare fucking stop." I held on to him as I felt my orgasm building up to near spilling over when I felt his teeth sink into my shoulder causing my release to hit me like a tidal wave and I bite him back, Digging my teeth in his collar bone, tasting his blood splash into my mouth.

"Where do I cum?" He asks frantically, peering into my eyes, pupils blown out, looking fucked out and helpless.

"Back up." I ordered. He did so and I got on my knees and opened my mouth as He shoved his cock down my throat and convulsed, shooting his load down my throat. I get up and he grabs my face smiling.

"Baby you look so fucking crazy. You bit the shit out of me." He says pulling me to the rear view mirror, to see the blood and drool all over my face. 

I grabbed some napkins out of the glove box and poured the remainder of my water on it, so I could clean off my face. I did the best I could and got in the driver seat. I looked over at Roman and he had this dopey look on his face. "You okay?" I asked.

"I think I'm smitten." He said dreamily. "That was so fucking hot, I will go play fucking mini golf or fucking bingo or wherever the fuck you want,I don't give a shit. I want to make you happy."

I looked over expecting a joking demeanor but there was none. He was serious. I was right about him, he just needed someone to love him most. He needed to be the boss and in control and to feel special and I was going to give him that.

"You've got me 100% Roman. Now choose a song. Don't think I forgot!"

"Do we get to do that every time we switch because if so, I'm gonna have a fucking marathon karaoke session up in this motherfucker." he said with a twinkle in his eye. 

I genuinely laughed with him, intoxicated by this strange feeling we were feeling. Happiness and attachment, were no friends of mine but for once i wasnt afraid,which was insane! If there was ever a boy to be afraid of, he was it, but not tome. To me, he was just perfect.

[aquarianlights]

Alrighty fact about me: I'm very stoic. I've never been super expressive, but I'm a bit more so for the like...week out of the month where I'm legitimately happy and have a zest for just existing. I still don't naturally express much, it's more a learned behavior at this point though.

I actually kind of know what you mean. I used to be that way until....well, literally until towards the end of age 24, beginning of 25. Because I just wasn’t allowed to be nor did I see any logic in it. Now I’m probably the most expressive person you’re ever gonna meet. Lmao. A lot of people say I come on a little too strongly when they meet me irl coz I’m kinda....idk. Larger-than-life/in-your-face kinda personality. But not all the time. This is why I am a fox. . .I either act super expressive like “DAD DAD DAD YOU’RE HOME YOU’RE HOME DID YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY YOU’RE MY FAVOURITE HUMAN AHHHHH YOU’RE HOOOOOME” or I’m “I guess I can chill in the same room with you. . .not like I enjoy your presence or anything. I just happen to be in the same room as you right now and I’m gonna do whatever the fuck I want and idc if it makes you uncomfortable or not.” kinda way. It’s literally 50/50. There’s just no inbetween. Lmao. But man I’ve never been more expressive than I am now. Only time I’m not really anymore is either a) when I’m around my parents (since I’m not allowed to be) or b) if I’m in psychosis.

But living completely stoically for majority of my life. . .I get that. I was never legitimately happy until end of age 24/beginning of 25. Well. . .there was one time where I felt legitimate happiness but that was from overdosing on exactly 100 xanax and drinking an entire bottle of vodka. So, I mean. Idk if that was even real but I have never and probably will never feel so genuinely elated in my life. It’s fuckin’ crazy, man. But I think I get where you’re coming from. . .but in a totally different way. I feel like, from what I have seen from your online persona, we are like. . . Idk 50/50 same/different. Like...50% same, 50% totally different. But we agree on the core, moral, ethical things which. . .is what really matters (to me). Not to mention you’re a cutie and you’re a very positive influence on my life (and I’m sure many, many others) and my life is much better with you in it. And idk why I’m even saying that coz I’ve probably said it before. I tend to reiterate that to people I like a lot. Especially to my close friends. Lmao.

But thank you so much for sharing a piece of yourself with me! It made me very happy to read this. And it makes me happy to know that for at least a little while every month you are happy. c: You deserve to be happy every day of the month except one. Because if you don’t experience the sadness and the darkness, you’ll never be able to appreciate the good and the light. And you will forget what happiness really feels like and start to question whether you’re really happy or not. . .which could just spiral into darkness and OKAY GEORGE ORWELL’S SPIRIT NEEDS TO STOP WRITING THROUGH ME NOW HAHA.

Anyways. Love ya, Ty. Thank for the info share. I love it when people let me know them a little more, which is why I asked for that as my christmas present. c: I hope you’re having a good day.

[queercelticcronewitch]

Being an eclectic pagan my journey

. I grew up with one parent catholic the other atheist with very good reason but I cannot share their story and is not mine to tell. Nor have I had contact with this parent for the last 10 years for reasons known to them.

As a kid being forced to practice the Catholic religion until I made what was known as confirmation,@14 after that we could practice whenever we wanted. As liberal as my parents were however, I always had the feeling that if I brought a pentacle in the home as a minor my Catholic Parent would have flipped out and my very Catholic very sweet grandmother definitely would've lost it.

I was exposed to every path except paganism only because my parents didn't know anyone who is not because they would not allow us to know what it was. My belief is my parents had this liberal attitude because I was born with cerebral palsy began using a wheelchair full-time at 10 years old and knew I was going to face discrimination being a person with a disability so therefore they did not want to act critically towards different cultures when they knew I was going to be discriminated against. Little did they know later in life I would come out as both a fabulous lesbian and an eclectic pagan witch.

Even as a little girl, being forced to practice Catholicism I never grasp the concept of Jesus being a Savior because he chose to die and supposedly rose again this concept has never made sense to me.when I would question it as a little girl I got two answers one was not to question and just have faith which made me feel worse as if I was failing as a Christian , The other answer I got was well I must believe otherwise I was not getting into heaven and because I had a disability I already have a strike against me because God created my disability as a punishment. To that I say what a crock ! Not to mention as a minor I had hands laid on me because people thought they had the same power as God to heal me another crock , you can now see why I was atheist or agnostic for 14 years You will never be able to convince me ever that the resurrection was based on love or that it even really existed at all.

I remember being 15 or 16 in picking up Scott Cunningham's Wicca for solitary practitioners from my local library while much of it resonated with me, I like thousands of people didn't understand at the time that there is a huge difference between A pentacle (which is a five point star used in paganism and Wicca it symbolizes earth, air, fire, water, spirit the fifth and the most important point . Sadly, I like millions of people had the impression that a pentacle symbolized Satanism which nothing could be further from the truth.

For seven years I was a staunch atheist, another seven I was in agnostic I also was a student of metaphysics, then in 2006 I was invited by a friend to a church that had an openly gay Dean who is female . She was a phenomenal preacher and walk the walk. It was an incredible group of people(And still are) who believed in equality and social justice which resonated with me because I was a social worker at this time working with both people with disabilities and the GLBTQ community. For almost 9 years I was very active within this community and very grateful to them and honestly, fear of losing my connection with this group of people is why I waited so long to write this blog about my journey,however , coming out of the broom closet is exactly like coming out as a disabled lesbian fear is there, but ultimately , True authenticity becomes more important . I will always be grateful for their support and friendship but after six of the nine years I started questioning things such as "did I believe the bible was the word of God? Answer. No I consider the Bible to be something of a historical reference book if you will, did I believe a man named Jesus existed absolutely. Do I believe this same man was a Lord and Savior and was resurrected for my sin? This is a bit of a complex question that I will try to break down as simply as possible based on my both good and bad experiences with christians.

While I am on the subject the fact that some but not all Christians use hell and the fear of it as a way to recruit people to come to Christ. Fear has nothing to do w/love two very different very separate emotions I simply do not believe there is a Satan or a hell for me they are a man created figures & places nor do I believe there is a heaven I do however believe that there is an otherworld where spirits continue On;

I do not believe in sin original or otherwise, That is another concept created by man I do believe in taking 100% responsibility for your choices good or bad.

I do not believe there is such a thing as Christopaganism for me personally, you cannot believe Jesus is the end-all be-all and believe in paganism at the same time but I understand there are many who do. While I don't agree, I do respect it.

I believe in multiple deities, Magick, all of the elements, lunar cycles, candles, (,you can never have enough) The druid path,The power of intent good or bad, ancestors, The witches wheel of the year which celebrates eight sabbats if interested I encourage you to Google it, dragons, spell casting in partnership with the multiple or singular deities, intuition, smudging, crystals, using plants as part of wellness but never a substitute for medical intervention when needed, The path of the Druid , my chosen path of Celtic as that is also part of my heritage, and being eclectic witch. Defined by I find something useful in the majority of beliefs take things from different areas and use it to define my craft

Paganism existed before any of the Abrahamic faiths,see the meme I included in this blog about being pagan it explains my path and my views completely. I respect anyone beliefs with the hope that mine are respected in kind

When I was in my early 40s I began to realize that not only did I have the gift of incredible intuition , (Actually my intuition developed at age 10 looking back now as I write this) and when I walked into rooms I was able to pick up other peoples energy though it took me a little while to figure that out and how to best handle it also known as being an empath which is not the same thing as being empathetic. looking back , was given the gift of intuition as a very young child but I come from a generation where children were not encouraged to speak up and being a triple minority Woman did not make it easier but speaking up and finding my own voice was an absolute necessity

. Paganism for me is about empowerment. The same is also why I claim the title of witch it is empowering knowing I have partnerships with my multiple dieties ;withHaving a disability that doesn't allow your body to do what you want/need it to do The empowerment aspect along with the freedom of eclectic spirituality , Most importantly learning that The aspect of my craft is intention and I don't have to have a crap load of supplies to practice my path I knew this was the right path for me finally 💜💙❌⭕️❌⭕️🙂

Melissa

[seyaryminamoto]

How sexist is the Fire Nation? It's interesting to see how they have female soldiers in the main islands, but don't have any on the invasion forces. This seems to be a reference to Total War, World-War-style societies, where women and old men held the Home Front, and these were pretty sexist societies... although much less sexist than even a few decades before.

Tbh I hadn’t quite thought about it that way. I had thought about the fact that I can’t name any high-ranked women in the army, though. You have a great point with that, though. I do reckon the Fire Nation was progressing in regards of equality for the sexes, but they’re not 100% there yet by ATLA’s time.

Goddammit, I know I’ve ranted about the softcore sexism in the Fire Nation before, but I can’t find the post. Linking you to it would have been a lot more useful than going on about it again, but what the heck. I guess I’ll have to do it again after all! :’D Brace yourself! Long post!

I agree completely, the Fire Nation isn’t sexist on Water Tribe levels, but either because of Bryke’s own understanding of the world or I don’t even know what, there’s a strange lack of relevant female characters in the Fire Nation outside of Azula, Mai and Ty Lee. You might think about Iroh’s prison guard, too, but she only shows up for one episode, just feeds Iroh, just gives Serena Williams her chance to be in the show xD but plot-wise, she’s not exactly a big deal.

There are also, as you said, other women in the Fire Nation defenses in Book 3, but what I’m wondering, always wondering, is why aren’t there any other named female firebenders in ATLA aside from Azula. There’s some in the background, some in the Boiling Rock, some in the main islands. But they are just as irrelevant as their nameless male counterparts. In that sense, sure they have perfect equality.

But that’s regarding low-ranked officials only.

High-ranked ones, on the other hand… just how equal are we here, I wonder? 

Let’s go through the Wikia’s pages on Fire Nation military leaders, shall we?

General Bujing, male.

General Iroh, male.

General Mak, male.

Colonel Shinu male.

Colonel Mongke, male.

General Shu, unknown, but with that name it sounds like a guy to me.

General Mung, male.

Mai’s Warden Uncle, obviously male.

Constable Sung (from Smoke and Shadows), male.

Warden Poon, male.

Admiral Chan, never shown but known to be male and to be young Chan’s father.

Admiral Jeong Jeong, male.

Admiral Zhao, male.

Even Captain Li, male.

And Captain Chey, male.

In short, you’re not wrong, there are women in the Fire Nation Domestic Forces, as they’re called by the wikia: but even then they’re not commanding officers. I can’t name a single female Fire Nation official in a position of power. If they exist? We never saw them. Instead, we saw this:

Zhao’s war meeting. All men.

Ozai’s war meeting. These are the best shots I have of it, but still, they prove all the people gathered around the map are men. 

There’s one woman in a figure of power in these scenes, though! :’D Aaaaaaaaaaaaand…

It’s Azula. As usual. Our only female firebender with a name in the entire show.

And I’m not done yet @_@ can you believe it? xD

On with something I’ve heavily relied on for Gladiator’s worldbuilding: we don’t know of a single female Fire Lord in Fire Nation history until LOK’s Izumi. Before her?

There’s Zuko, no portrait, but no need to have one because we know he’s Fire Lord anyhow.

So, there’s Ozai:

There’s Azulon:

There’s Sozin:

Sozin’s father:

Sozin’s grandfather:

SOOOOOOOOOOOO… is Zuko destroying sexist traditions by giving the crown to his daughter, making her the first official female Fire Lord in history? I’m very much inclined to think so. How likely is it for every single one of these men to ONLY have male firstborns? Isn’t it more likely that they passed over any potential female heirs in favor of males? Because that’s what I’m pretty sure happened. 

More, though! Education! A society where men and women are viewed as equal would not have different education for boys and girls. But the Royal Academy for Girls is where Azula, Mai and Ty Lee meet and become friends. Royal Academy FOR GIRLS. 

Of course, the argument can be made: The Headband shows a school where boys and girls are in attendance!

If anything, that argument proves that the Fire Nation upper class differentiates between male and female, while the middle-low class won’t do the same thing. Great for the middle-low classes! But… who are the ones who rule this nation, again? Who’re the ones who have the most power? That’s right, the upper class. The probably-traditionally sexist ones.

So this means, as I’ve proved with the evidence of the Fire Nation military, that the higher you go in the Fire Nation society, the less women you’ll see in positions of power and the more men you’ll see instead. Heck, the Headband is great proof of this: who was our teacher?

Ms. Kwan right here.

Who’s our Headmaster? Who’s HER BOSS?

Another man. Again.

This is really in no spirits to make the Fire Nation look as “bad” as the Water Tribe, because no doubt that’s NOT the case. But this is still part of the problem: if men and women were equal in this society it should be fairly obvious in every regard, in every level of society, and not just regarding the way that the Fire Nation allows women in their Domestic Forces while the Water Tribe never would.

Now, regarding that matter of comparing nations… I’m sure every case I’ve made about the Fire Nation’s underlying themes of sexism can also be seen in the Earth Kingdom. I cannot for the life of me remember any women with genuine power in their armies either, in fact I can’t remember any women in their fighting forces at all… so haha, they’re worse than the Fire Nation! :’D but alas, that the Fire Nation is better doesn’t mean it’s ideal either.

I’m not doing this to shoot down the Fire Nation’s one and only redeeming quality in the eyes of many, but I am saying that their equality isn’t all it’s made out to be by the fandom and even the wikia. It’s better than the other nations? Maybe. But it’s still not 100% equality by ATLA’s time (I’d like to think Izumi’s appointment as Fire Lord is actually proof of the Fire Nation becoming all the more progressive once the war ended… but that still doesn’t apply to the Fire Nation as we knew it in ATLA).