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Pomefiore vocabulary lesson All of these words are pronounced "coo" !

Bonus 2nd and 3rd French option because of course there's an option with a silent 'p' and one with a silent 't', of course !
#twisted wonderland#pomefiore#the ^ accent on letters in french are often used to replace a “s” letter that used to be in the word (In most but not all cases)#for “coût” which means “cost” it was probably written “coust” and it ressembles the english word much more that way#I forgor if Kuh is die or das... I'd say die since it's lady cow but idk#in french it's “la vache” which means both “the cow” and “oh damn !”/“holy cow !”#re learning to gender everything when your own language is gendered but not the same way is so confusing#then there's finnish that is extra neutral and doesn't even use he/she - w language
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For the haunted au I had an devilish little thought. Has Optimus ever had a really bad time and when the primes try to give him advice he just shouts "you guy's FAILED!" Like for all their wisdom they couldn't beat the quintisons or see Sentinels betrayal coming?
He feels bad but in his spark he wishes HE didn't have to do what THEY couldn't.
absolutely evil thought that was inflicted upon me months ago and that i finally get to inflict upon the rest of y'all OTL
i can see it happening with the caveat that he immediately regrets saying it. but it's too late. it's the kind of thing you say in the heat of the moment and then feel the ground drop under your feet because you never meant to say it out loud. but now it's out there and you can never unsay it.
it's just. a bad situation all around :(
haunted au
#hey i got an ask#lvinvint#transformers#transformers one#maccadams#optimus prime#zeta prime#haunted au#my art#absolutely delightful ask i loved it thank you so much for sending it!!!!!#and as you can see i've been hoarding it for fucking months just so i could make art for it aksjhdka#sorry this took me extra long i don't have an excuse i've been. doing bad :)#but it's fine we're all cool#ANYWAY i don't think OP totally means what he said#at least. not the way he said it.#i think it was his anger and frustration twisting up insecurities he has of himself and exploding on this defensiveness#this however doesn't mean there's not a part of him that's bitter they expect him to succeed at something they couldn't#there were thirteen of them and there's only one of him and they had several millions of years of experience that he doesn't#so how is he supposed to fix something they weren't capable of fixing by themselves#he's terrified of his odds#and them ganging up on him to point out his flaws (which. if you'll notice is mostly just them being terrified to the point of anger#for his safety) just brings up all those ugly feelings and turns them into anger#again! bad situation all around! no one is happy here!#i'll fix it. maybe :)#tf one
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there are so many people who keep @-ing me lately who are obsessed with the idea of WWX being this underprivileged victim who suffered unfairly at every turn…
no, he wasn't a "scholarship kid" in contrast to JC being a trust fund kid, his family paid for him to go to college exactly the same as his brother, where he had the confidence to behave with absolutely no regard for consequences; before the war he carried a platinum credit card with JFM's name on it and he had job security from like age 10 as JC's future head of R&D
no, he was never treated as a servant, he was the HEAD DISCIPLE of a top 5 sect and afforded much of the privilege and respect that came with that. after the war he was JC's right hand, being second in the sect only to the sect leader. even in the burial mounds he never did a single chore and in fact got lightly scolded for creating more chores
he wasn't hated by the cultivation world because he was an uppity servant trying to climb beyond his class and making the gentry look bad through his own integrity and righteousness, he was hated because he was extremely powerful and super scary and violated a ton of social taboos and behaved erratically in public and seemed beholden to nobody
like girl… you're thinking of Meng Yao!
#and not to clarify the obvious but NONE of this is to say that wwx hasn't suffered. he was in an extremely vulnerable position as a child.#the jiang family dynamic was very damaging and he was unfairly singled out. he was OBVIOUSLY mistreated after the war in many ways.#SO I AM JUST SAYING THERE IS NO NEED TO INVENT MORE WAYS IN WHICH FOR HIM TO SUFFER#and he was as much 'jiang cheng's servant' as jiang cheng was his father's servant. just because there is hierarchy between them –#and just because that hierarchical gap did cause many emotional problems – doesn't mean it takes the form of a master/servant dynamic!#SORRY THAT PEOPLE CONTINUE TO @ ME WITH BAD TAKES FORCING ME TO PERPETUATE THE CYCLE OF TAKES#shut up phee#mdzs
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big big big fan of found family relationships with shithead sibling dynamics
sure, yeah, they had no one in the world until they found each other, and they will fight tooth and nail for each other's safety, but they will also eat the last of the other's cereal and put the box back in the cabinet or tell the other's significant other every embarrassing story about them or greet each other by means of full body tackle and chokehold
#ragsycon exclusive#mark and pip have this dynamic and it gives me so much joy#she gives him so much shit for being awkward and painfully uncool but she will not hesitate to stab someone for being mean to him#he's focusing on something & doesn't hear her come in the room and she slaps him on the shoulder which startles him so badly he alert barks#which he is instantly mortified by the fact that he just literally actually barked and goes 'please don't tell anyone that happened'#to which pip responds by showing him her phone screen where she has just texted literally everyone that this just happened#......#hall of fame
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enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.
#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#loveless aro#loveless#non-partnering#nonpartnering#non partnering#nonamorous#aplatonic#enough of amatonormative tropes in media!!! enough 'you're miserable without love' stories!!!#less “you're too focused on ambitions to make you happy that you dont let yourself fall in love”#more “you're too focused on finding love to make you happy that you wont let yourself live”#more “there is so much more to life than love and so much more that can bring your happiness if you just let yourself experience it.”#maybe I should write this story#and when i say love i mean all love. not just romantic love.#which is why i tagged aplatonic too#while i mostly see this trope in terms of romantic love i think there's something to be said about#telling stories where people are perfectly content alone too#it doesn't have to be sad or pathetic to not have friends by choice. they dont have to be a miserable person to not have friends#i think we need more variety in stories where it shows people just content in their lack of love or relationships in all shapes#not everyone wants a family not everyone wants friends not everyone wants a partner not everyone wants love#some of us are content without. that should be explored without the need to fix it.
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Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.
#as a note do NOT read the comments on any T'Pol marriage clips on youtube they're full of 'haha women amiright' jokes about#how she's leading Trip on and being a bitch for not choosing him etc - if you become interested in female characters you learn#quickly just how much people still hate women displaying any amount of complexity/doing anything that isn't just falling into a man's arms#even if that hatred doesn't take the form of outright vitriol (aka: 'I feel so sad for Trip bc T'Pol's marrying some other guy')#Trip: T'Pol listen this arranged marriage stuff is no good - you've gotta be free! You have to do what YOU want to do!#T'Pol: -legally seen as property of her husband in the eyes of the law- ...............#<- not dunking on Trip it's just funny how easy it makes it seem - but!! He doesn't know all the facts#as evidenced by him saying T'Pol might 'call off the wedding' to her mother - T'Pol can't legally call off shit#It's also interesting how gender isn't really mentioned in any of the clips I've seen - it's very clear to me that T'Pol has no options#specifically because she's a WOMAN within her culture but that's almost like a quiet undercurrent and not focused on as a main#point of dissatisfaction - which I imagine it 1000% would be for Vulcan women when men have infinitely more freedom#Vulcan Man: I don't wanna marry this lady#Vulcan Law: Ok#Vulcan Woman: I don't wanna marry this guy#Vulcan Law: Noted. So - if you and your lover are willing to risk his life there's a chance (if he wins) that you can get out of marrying#him BUT if your husband kills your lover and still wants to marry you you DOOO have to marry him sorry you just gotta#<- this also makes it incredibly dangerous to in any way warn your legal husband that a kal-if-fee might be incoming#the element of surprise is a HUGE advantage when it comes to winning a fight to the death (which your lover can train for)#Vulcans#T'Pol#T'Pring#star trek#I don't think this is bad necessarily (as a fictional worldbuilding thing) but I wish it were explored more#It's especially interesting because it's an aspect of logical Vulcan society - it's clearly not logical but it's also clearly rooted deeply#in tradition which may mean Vulcan long ago used to have a much more extreme gender bias towards the male population#it just implies a lot that Vulcan has these old laws which are unfair towards women yet they still follow BUT women are treated as equal#citizens OUTSIDE of marriage! Maybe there was a feminist movement before? Is there another brewing? Where are the Vulcan feminists!
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I really really like that lucanis reaches the 'there must be some way through this' realization 'off camera', so to speak, while presumably looking at rook explaining the situation to spite. it just. hits right. he gets that moment to himself after 'this place is a nightmare, why would I want to stay here' to come back into focus, to gather himself and think it through in peace, outside of the demands of anyone’s gaze (including the player’s!), while rook takes care of spite’s confusion and urgency and distress as he can’t himself in this shattered state. they're inside his soul, but he still gets that moment of privacy, with rook and spite there and supporting but not intruding. idk there's just something so good and right-feeling about it. rook's presence in lucanis' mind at its most vulnerable and frozen could have felt SO invasive if the quest wasn't written as skillfully as it is, and I get skeeved out by that kind of thing incredibly easily so it's a testament to how well it's done that it always feels safe and supportive. lucanis has had both his bodily and psychological (slash spiritual/existential) integrity and autonomy violated so brutally and repeatedly, and having even the way the camera perceives him here grant him the dignity and respect and privacy of soul he hasn’t experienced in a long time… it’s a whole thing huh. No wonder it’s taken me a while to put it into words lol
(also what a contrast to what solas and rook have got going on, and what a sly way to slide the point of comparison in there to build to the thematic whole. the solas version of this IS of course wildly invasive and skeeves me out but in the intended delighted horror movie way. solas, too, was let into someone’s soul through the cracks in the wake of a traumatic event, and he IMMEDIATELY sought to turn it to his own benefit and use that trauma as a weapon against them fhdsja I’m sorry but it’s just such a character-revealing instinct for him to act on without hesitation and I love how terrible he is, it’s all so unforgivably premeditated and consistent.
rook acting out of the desire to make sure lucanis is ok vs. solas going ‘well. When life gives you oops killed my friend, make dead friend poisoned lemonade and make his loved ones drink it. this sunk cost fallacy isn’t going to perpetuate itself’ is such a neat contrast and it’s not in your face about it but it’s still there, deep and solid down in the thematic narrative. rook doesn’t do anything to or in lucanis’ mind, really — they negotiate their way through the layers of defense and are let through, and they help him make the whole thing more explicable, but they never exert any force or go rooting around for anything that doesn’t present itself to them first. solas goes about gathering ammo for when he's going to nothing personel kid this person from like the first moment fhdskh doesn't waste a second before he's on that gaslight gatekeep girlboss grind. the fact that the game goes out of its way to show there IS a respectful, non-selfish and kind version of this process makes what solas is doing even more deliciously awful (glee) and rook and lucanis’ relationship (platonic, romantic, whatever it might be in any given playthrough) all the more moving to me)
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#solas#getting some affectionate solas slander in there is always correct as far as I'm concerned that's basically his form of prayers I think#one of the most non-alienating depictions of trauma and mental illness I've come across honestly. up there with harrow the ninth#(which is the all-timer of course. that book gets me when no one else gets me) and the hawk and a hacksaw speech in due south#for things that have resonated with me recently. you can tell how deeply lucanis feels like he's a completely shattered and destroyed thing#that can't come together and be a person again. and the narrative treats him with such affection and respect anyway#even on the worst route where he doesn't really get to resolve anything he IS still a full whole incredibly loveable (and hilarious) person#even though he can't see that from the inside at this point because there's so much pain and confusion in the way.#and there's no condemnation or blame there that he shuts down irrevoccably in many ways on the fallen treviso route -- only#a neutral not-unsympathetic recognition that this was one thing too many added to the burden. this was more than he could take.#and it's not a failing it's just a fact. he's surviving the only way he knows how even when it isn't immediately uplifting or cathartic#no there are things here that's beyond you to help him with and you have to sit with the discomfort and grief of that without#getting acess to his inner life the same semi-unguarded way again actually. it's so interesting. it's subtle and real.#he was a person with deeply entrenched patterns of psychological defense before he met you and you are not an exception to that#in an automatic way. you can't 'fix him' or his relationships you can only be there with him and when conditions are right that alone heals#(subtlety in some of these things I think a lot of the 'rook is only a therapist' criticism completely fails to engage with. btw.)#anyway. he means the world to me and I love this game I only wish there was more of it
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Is Izutsumi canonically aroace? I see a lot of people on the fandom referring to her as such but has it ever been outright confirmed or is this just an interpretation of the succubus scene?
Interpretation of the succubus chapter plus there's what she says in that chapter
(From EHScans, Official English and Japanese cause I don't trust translations anymore)
"私は好みとかないから平気だ" "I don't have any preferences so it's fine."
By context it is pretty obvious she's saying she's not attracted to anyone, so take that as you will.
I think that's as close as a fantasy character without the term "aroace" in their vocabulary could express that, but you might interpret it differently (like her being a stubborn teen maybe?) but I think as headcanon goes that one fits well within canon.
#ask#speculation#headcanon#If you mean a confirmation from the author we don't have that#Kui doesn't really confirm or deny much which I think it's the right thing to do as an author#your work should speak for itself#dungeon meshi spoilers
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Eloise Bridgerton being an absolute mood:
and Cressida's reaction of 'this girl is so weird, but I'm into it??? Wait am I into this??'':
#i was so sad that no one had made gifs of this moment#that i simply made one myself#i just love this almost smile cressida has here#like she can't believe eloise would just say and do this sort of thing#which kind of also adds to what she says in a later episode about eloise being courageous#she means this; eloise just being unapologetically herself without caring about whats appropriate#something cressida doesn't have the freedom to do (because she lacks the family support eloise has) but probably wishes she could#i love finding these little moments bc you can interpret so much from them even though they're only seconds long#yes i am autistic why do you ask?#eloise bridgerton#cressida cowper#creloise#bridgerton#bridgerton s3#bridgerton 3x02#gifs#my gifs#(also i don't know how to gif i did my best with what gimp can do)#bc id rather die than using something adobe makes
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if the clocks could turn back, then I'd change everything but life don't got sympathy or second tries and nothing can save me from myself
#fhr#sidestep#fallen hero#art#mine#*25#jericho/requiem#i thought abt making the clocks move (either have there be a swinging clock/have the arms move etc) but that is so much effort#and like for what. to waste time making it and then reducing it into a tiny little gif that doesn't even look that great? pass. anyway#fate sidesteps are something special huh. what a resigned life they lead. after Everything you come out of it w/ the#mindset that you never really had any control anyways and you still don't. 'suffering for a reason' but the reason isnt even 'for you'#but its rly interesting bc jericho also has the hunger scar. which kinda just means they feel empty about everything and they can't do shit#about it anyways bc its 'fate' and they're not even sure what the hell it is they specifically hunger for except to really Live.#i looove making my sidesteps miserable yaayy
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I think along with Izzy being just as obsessed with Blackbeard in modern AUs as he is in canon, Pete also needs to be just as obsessed in his own way. If Izzy is going "Edward I'm not going to let you throw away your reputation as the best waffle house manager the world has ever seen for some [slur redacted]" then Pete needs to be standing 10 feet away going "Holy shit Lucius that's Blackbeard! The man who became a waffle house manager in just two weeks by being able to cook a sausage perfectly every time!!! Do you think he'd autograph the receipt for me?? 😍😍😍"
#Pete doesn't always show up in every au which is understandable bc he doesn't have much of an effect on Ed and Stede#but when he does show up i love to watch him do this#2pm in the morning#ofmd#our flag means death#black pete
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"I'll make a save here and try breaking up with Astarion, just to see the dialogue- I could see him get kinda nasty about it, but I honestly don't know what to expect so---"
...............
.......
....
#-ke me back but that didn't fit#astarion#squirrel plays bg3#when i tell you i reloaded so fucking fast.....#curse my curiosity#jesus fucking christ he's so RESIGNED#it's such an “ah; there it is. yeah can't say I'm surprised but it was nice while it lasted”#it sounds a bit mean but i fully thought he'd get at least a bit nasty about it#(the breakup also doesn't seem to have any options that nets disapproval???)#(which is just..... sad)#(it'd be so much less painful if he could at least hate you for it you know)#(this boy's self-esteem is -as we say in my country- beneath the miner frog's asscheeks)#(and now i need to go spend some time kneeling on the floor sobbing please do excuse me)
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DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN | 1.09
You asked me for a favor. I did it.
#Daredevil Born Again#ddba spoilers#Frank Castle#Karen Page#Kastle#Daredeviledit#Daredevil Spoilers#Not Revolution#GIF set#Mine#He blinked first.#(I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? Let them kiss.)#Credit where credit is due - I don't always agree with the creative choices or the writing but the actors all clearly love their characters#and put alot of time and energy into portraying them with a more realism (and sincerity) then you'd expect for a superhero show#And Deborah and Jon go above and beyond for Karen and Frank.#I did not mean to love either of them and I did not know either of these characters before Daredevil was on Netflix but they made me fall#in love with them as individuals AND as a pairing. That whole tortured we can't be happy in this life sh*t is always going to f**k me up.#She challenges him & he meets her beat for beat. He's attentive. Sweet. A little awkward. He's head over heels for this woman who's always#5 minutes from running into danger with little to no hesitance or self preservation. Which is ironic because he doesn't give a sh*t about#his own survival and is merely existing as a form of spiteful vengeance at this point. Hoping to take out as many people as he can on his#way out. And what strikes me about this scene is his need to keep his hands busy. The way he looks up and then away again before deciding#not to let her have the last word. Because letting her walk out - thinking he doesn't care about anyone - would be a mistake.#He never knows the last time he's going to see her. Not the way he lives his life. So it matters. SHE matters.#And she needs to know it.#(But seriously would it kill the writers to just let them makeout once? It's beyond teasing at this point. It's reached bullying.)
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David "Tell me you're being safe" Shaw and Darlin' "I know what I'm doing" Shaw
#“i know what i'm doing” instead of “i'm being safe” because darlin' doesn't want to lie to david again#especially not now that they actually have a good relationship to him#especially not now that they consider him family and they've always been taught that family always tell each other everything#especially not now that they know how much they actually mean to david#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted darlin#redacted david#anyway this is danger polycule bts as i'm writing the fic btw lol#which is why i'm tagging this as#danger polycule
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fandommetrics from april 30, 2018, when phan was last the number one ship. like to charge reblog to cast
#dnp#phan#dan and phil#lou is loud#this was at least the most recent one that appeared on tumblr search results which as we all know#doesn't mean much#but stuff was mostly showing up in order so seems legit to me#fandommetrics
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So I could be totally wrong but, I believe it was sort of expected that men/gentlemen lose their virginity before marriage in regency times. But I also there’s some fandom ‘debate’ about whether or not Mr Darcy would’ve had sex before getting married. So I was just curious about what your canon for Mr Darcy in T3W is. Is he a virgin or not?
I knew someone would ask me this eventually, haha. I've actually had really long conversations with my beta reader about this trying to figure it out. It sounds like this might all be stuff that you’ve already seen discussed in the fandom, but I’ve never thought about it deeply before and so these are new thoughts to me.
I keep going over the historical real-world likelihood, the authorial intent, and the text itself but I’m still not 100%. I’ll explain my thinking and what I find most likely, but here’s your warning that it’s not a clear cut yes/no.
Because on one hand, at that time period it was most common for men in his position to have seen sex workers or have casual encounters/mistresses with women from their estates. Though I do absolutely believe not all men did that, no matter how much wealth and power they had. To go back some centuries, William the Conqueror seemed to be famously celibate (no hints of male lovers either according to the biography I read) until his marriage, and there's no evidence of affairs after it either. The best guesses as to why are that it was due to his religious devotion and the problems that had arisen from himself being a bastard and not wanting to recreate that situation. Concerns over religion and illegitimate children would certainly still have been applicable in the regency to men who thought that way. And in modern times I've seen sex workers say that when an 18/21yo is booked in by his family/friends to 'become a man' often they end up just talking and agree to lie about the encounter. After all, it’s not like every man wants casual sex, even if they aren’t demisexual or something in that vein. But, statistically speaking, the precedent of regency gentlemen would make Darcy not a virgin.
On the other hand, just how aware was Jane Austen, the very religious daughter of a country rector, of the commonness of this? There’s a huge difference between knowing affairs and sex workers existed (and no one who had seen a Georgian newspaper could be blind to this) and realising that the majority of wealthy men saw sex workers at some point even if they condemned the more public and profligate affairs. The literature for young ladies at the time paints extramarital sex - including the lust of men outside of marriage - as pretty universally bad and dangerous. This message is seen from 'Pamela' and other gothic fiction to non-fiction conduct books which Jane Austen would have encountered. Here's something I found in 'Letters to a Young Lady' by the reverend John Bennett which I found particularly interesting as it's in direct conversation with other opinions of the era:
"A reformed rake makes the best husband." Does he? It would be very extraordinary, if he should. Besides, are you very certain, that you have power to reform him? It is a matter, that requires some deliberation. This reformation, if it is to be accomplished, must take place before marriage. Then if ever, is the period of your power. But how will you be assured that he is reformed? If he appears so, is he not insidiously concealing his vices, to gain your affections? And when he knows, they are secured, may he not, gradually, throw off the mask, and be dissipated, as before? Profligacy of this kind is seldom eradicated. It resembles some cutaneous disorders, which appear to be healed, and yet are, continually, making themselves visible by fresh eruptions. A man, who has carried on a criminal intercourse with immoral women is not to be trusted, His opinion of all females is an insult to their delicacy. His attachment is to sex alone, under particular modifications.
The definition of a rake is more than a man who has seen a sex worker once, it's about appearance and general conduct too, but again, would that distinction be made to young ladies? Because they seem to simply be continuously taught 'lust when unmarried is bad and beware men who you know engage in extramarital sex.' As a side note, Jane Austen certainly knew at least something about the mechanics of sex: her letters and literature she read alludes to it, and she grew up around farm animals in the countryside which is an education in itself.
We can also see from this exert that the school of thought seems to be 'reformed rake' vs 'never a rake' in contention for the title of best husband, there's no debate over whether a current rake is unsuitable for a young lady. And, from Willoughby to Wickham to Crawford, I think we have a very clear idea of Jane Austen's ideas of how likely it is notably promiscuous men can reform. This does not preclude the possibility that her disparaging commentary around their lust is based more on over-indulgence or the class of women they seduce, but it's undoubtedly a condemnation of such men directly in line with the first part of what John Bennett says so it's no stretch to believe she saw merit in the follow-on conclusions of the second part as well. Whether she would view it with enough merit to consider celibacy the only respectable option for unmarried men is a bit unclearer.
I did consider that perhaps Jane Austen consciously treated this as a grey area where she couldn’t possibly know what young men did (the same reasoning is why we never see the men in the dining room after the ladies retire, etc) and so didn't hold an opinion on men's extramarital encounters with sex workers/lower-class women at all, but I think there actually are enough hints in her works that this isn’t the case. Though, unsurprisingly, given the delicacy of the subject, there’s no direct mention of sex workers or gentlemen having casual lovers from among the lower-classes in her texts.
That also prevents us from definitively knowing whether she thought extramarital sex was so common, and as unremarkable, as most gentlemen treated it. But we do see from her commentary around the consequences of Maria Bertram and Henry Crawford's elopement that she had criticism of the double standards men and women were held to when violating sexual virtue. Another indication that she perhaps expected good men to be capable of waiting until marriage in the way that she very clearly believed women should. At the very least, a man who often indulges in extramarital sex does not seem to be one who would be considered highly by Jane Austen.
She makes a point of saying, in regards to not liking his wife, that Mr Bennet “was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly or their vice.” This must include affairs, though cheating on a wife cannot be a 1:1 equivalent of single young men sleeping around before marriage. However, the latter is generally critically accepted to be one of the flaws that Darcy lays at Wickham’s door along with gambling when talking about their youth and his “vicious propensities" and "want of principle." Though this could be argued that it’s more the extent or publicity of it (but remembering that it couldn't be anything uncommon enough that it couldn't be hidden from Darcy Sr. or explained away) rather than the act itself, or maybe seductions instead of paying women offering those services. I also believe Persuasion mentioning Sunday travelling as proof of thoughtless/immoral activity supports the idea that Jane Austen might have been religious enough that she would never create a hero who had extramarital sex.
So, taken all together this would make Darcy potentially a virgin, or, since I couldn't find absolute evidence of her opinions, leave enough room that he isn’t but extramarital sex isn’t a regular (or perhaps recent) thing and he would never have had anything so established as a mistress.
I’ve also been wondering, if Darcy isn’t a virgin, who would he have slept with? I’ve been musing on arguments for and against each option for weeks at this point. No romantasy has ever made me think about a fictional man's sexual habits so much as the question of Darcy's sexual history. What is my life.
Sex workers are an obvious answer, and the visits wouldn’t have raised any eyebrows. Discretion was part of their job, it was a clean transaction with no further responsibilities towards them, and effective (and reusable, ew) condoms existed at this time so there was little risk of children and no ability to exactly determine the paternity even if there was an accident. It was a fairly ‘responsible’ choice if one wanted no strings attached. In opposition to this, syphilis was rampant at the time, and had been known to spread sexually for centuries. Sex workers were at greater risk of it than anyone else and so the more sensible and risk-averse someone is (and I think Mr Darcy would be careful) the less likely they would be to visit sex workers. Contracting something that was known as potentially deadly and capable of making a future wife infertile if it spread to her could make any intelligent and cautious man think twice.
Servants and tenants of the estate are another simple and common answer. Less risk of stds, it can be based on actual attraction more than money (though money might still change hands), and is a bit more intimate. But Wickham’s called wicked for something very similar, when he dallies (whether he only got to serious flirting, kissing, or sleeping with them I don’t think we can conclusively say) with the common women of Meryton: “his intrigues, all honoured with the title of seduction, had been extended into every tradesman's family.” And it isn't as though Wickham had any personal duty towards those people beyond the claims of basic dignity. Darcy, who is shown to have such respect and understanding for his responsibilities towards the people of his estate and duties of a landlord, would keenly feel if any of his actions were leading his servants/tenants astray and down immoral paths. Servants, especially, were considered directly under the protection of the family whose house they worked in. I think it's undoubtable that Mrs Reynolds (whose was responsible for the wellbeing - both physically and spiritually - of the female servants) would not think so well of Mr Darcy if he had experimented with maids in his youth. It would reflect badly on her if a family entrusted their daughter to her care and she 'lost her virtue' under her watch. Daughters/widows of others living on the estate not under the roof of Pemberley House are a little more likely, but still, if he did have an affair with any of them I can only think it possible when he was much younger and did not feel his duties quite so strongly. Of course lots of real men didn't care about any of this, but Darcy is so far from being depicted as careless about his duties that the narrative makes a point of how exceptional his quality of care was. Frankly, it's undeniable that none of Jane Austen's heroes were flippant about their responsibilities towards those under their protection. I cannot serious entertain an interpretation that makes Darcy not, at his current age, at least, cognizant of the contemporary problems inherent in sleeping with servants or others on his estate.
A servant in a friend’s house would remove some of that personal responsibility, but transfer it to instead be leading his friend’s servants astray and in a manner which he is less able to know about if a child did result. That latter remains a problem even if we move the setting to his college, so not particularly likely for his character as we know it… though it wouldn’t be unusual for someone to be more unthinking and reckless in their teenage years than they are at twenty-eight so I don’t think having sex then can be ruled out. Kissing I can much more easily believe, especially when at Oxford or Cambridge, but every scenario of sleeping with a lower-class woman has some compelling arguments against it especially the closer we get to the time of the novel.
Men did of course also have affairs with women of ranks similar to their own, though given Jane Austen’s well-known feelings towards men who ‘ruined’ the virtue of young ladies we can safely say that Darcy never slept with an unwed middle- or upper-class woman. Any decent man would have married them out of duty if it got so far; but if he was the sort to let it get so far, I think it impossible Jane Austen would consider him respectable. Widows are a possibility, but again, the respectable thing to do would be to marry them. Perhaps a poorer merchant’s widow would be low enough that marriage is off the table but high enough that the ‘leading astray’ aspect loses its master-servant responsibilities (though the male-female ‘protect the gentler sex’ aspect remains) but his social circle didn’t facilitate meeting many ladies like that. Plus, an affair with a woman in society would remove many layers of privacy and anonymity that sex-workers and lower-class lovers provided by simply being unremarkable to the world at large. It carries a far greater risk of scandal and a heavier sense of immorality in the terms of respecting a woman’s purity which classism prevented from applying so heavily to lower-class women.
I think it’s important to note here that something that removes the need to think about duties of landlords towards the lower-classes or gentlemen towards gentlewomen is having affairs with other men of a similar rank. But, aside from the risk of scandal and what could be called the irresponsibility of engaging in illegal acts, it’s almost certain that Jane Austen would never have supported this. For a devout author in this era the way I’m calculating likelihoods makes it not even a possibility. But if you want to write a different fanfiction (and perhaps something like a break-up could explain why Darcy doesn’t seem to have any closer friend than someone whom he must have only met two or so years ago despite being in society for years before that) it does have that advantage over affairs with women of equal- and lower-classes. I support alternate interpretations entirely – it just isn’t how I’m deciding things in this instance.
I keep coming back to the conclusion that, at the very least, Darcy hasn’t had sex recently and it was never a common occurrence. It wouldn’t surprise me if Jane Austen felt he hadn’t done it ever. Kissing, as we can see from all the parlour games at the time, wasn’t viewed as harshly, so I think he’s likely made out with someone before. But in almost every situation it does seem that the responsible and religious thing to do (which Jane Austen values so highly) is for it to never have progressed to sex. I also don’t think it conflicts with his canon characterisation to say that he wouldn’t regard sexual experience as a crucial element of his life thus far, and his personality isn’t driven to pursue pleasure for himself, so it’s entirely possible that he would never go out of his way to seek it. So, I’m inclined to think that the authorial and textual evidence is in favour of Darcy being a virgin even if the real-world contemporary standard is the opposite. (Though both leave enough room for exceptions that I’m not going to argue with anyone who feels differently; and even if you agree with all my points, you might simply weight authorial intent/textual evidence/contemporary likelihoods differently than I do and come to a different conclusion).
Remember that even if Darcy is a virgin this wouldn’t necessarily equate to lack of knowledge, only experience. There were plenty of books and artwork focused on sex, and Darcy, studious man that he is, would no doubt pay attention to what knowledge his friends/male relatives shared. Though some of it (Looking especially at you, 'Fanny Hill, Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure') should NEVER be an example of appropriate practice for taking a woman's virginity. Darcy would almost certainly have been taught directly or learnt through exposure to other men talking to make sex good for a woman – it was a commonly held misconception (since Elizabethan England, I believe) that women had to orgasm to conceive. It would be in his interests as an empathetic husband, and head of a family, to know how to please his wife.
Basically, I’m convinced Darcy isn’t very experienced, if at all, and will be learning with Elizabeth. But he does have a lot of theoretical knowledge which he’s paid careful attention to and is eager to apply.
#sorry for how my writing jumps around from quoting sources to vaguely asserting things from the books I only write proper essays when forced#if anyone has evidence that Austen thought a sexually experienced husband was better/men needed sex/it's a crucial education for men/etc#PLEASE send it my way I'm so curious about this topic now#this is by no means an 'I trawled through every piece of evidence' post just stuff I know from studying the era and Austen and her work#so more info/evidence is always appreciated#I had sort of assumed the answer was 'not a virgin' when I first considered this months ago btw but the more I thought about it#the less I was able to find out when/where/who he would've slept with without running into some authorial/textual complication#so suddenly 'maybe a virgin' becomes increasingly likely#But the same logic would surely apply to ALL Austen's heroes... and Knightley is 38 which feels unrealistic#(though Emma doesn't have as much commentary on sex and was written when Austen was older so maybe she wasn't so idealistic about men then)#but authors do write unrealistic elements and it's entirely possible that *this* was something Austen thought a perfect guy would(n't) do#and if you've read my finances breakdowns you know I follow the text and authorial voice over real-world logic because it IS still fiction#no matter how deftly Austen set it in the real world and made realistic characters#pride and prejudice#jane austen#fitzwilliam darcy#mr darcy#discourse#austen opinions#mine#asks#fic:t3w#I'm going to need a tag for 'beneath the surface' but 'bts' is already a pretty popular abbreviation haha#just 'fic: beneath' maybe?? idk
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