#this was at least the most recent one that appeared on tumblr search results which as we all know

[antiadvil]

fandommetrics from april 30, 2018, when phan was last the number one ship. like to charge reblog to cast

[labomi]

selfish | one (18+)

Summary: You're a former coworker of Kento Nanami back when he was just an office worker. You accidentally run into him at a bakery many years later which gives you a second chance at getting to know the man who had always caught your eye.

Pairing: Kento Nanami x f!Reader

Words: 11.1k+

Warnings: Explicit sexual content, vaginal sex, vaginal fingering, oral sex, creampie, explicit language, attempted sexual assault, kidnapping, canon-typical violence, alcohol

Note: Read on ao3 here! I’ve been on tumblr on and off for about 10 years at this point (yikes), but I recently decided to start a new one as sort of a writing blog with a lot of anime gif reblogging on the side as well haha. Kind of nervous to post my first fic on tumblr for some reason, so I hope you enjoy! Thank you for reading!

Index: [Part One] [Part Two]

“Nanami? Kento Nanami? Is that you?”

You couldn’t believe your eyes. It had been years! Was that really him?

---

The night you accidentally ran into Kento Nanami started off like any other night in your life. After an exhausting day of work, you decided to treat yourself to some sweets at a nearby bakery. The small chime on the door signaled your entrance with the lone employee warmly greeting you.

“Welcome!”

There was only one other customer in the small shop. A tall man stood at the cash register. 

Hmm.

There was something strangely familiar about the man’s demeanor. Curious, you drifted over to the display case next to the register to try and sneak a peek at his face. While admiring the delicious-looking pastries on the counter, you listened in on the conversation between him and the cashier.

“That will be 2000 yen,” the lady said.

“I’ll pay with card.”

You stiffened slightly, eyes widening in surprise. 

That voice!  

You recognized that voice!

The man shifted his face towards you as he reached to grab his wallet from his pocket. You were finally able to get a glimpse of his face. 

You gasped.

“It is you!” you exclaimed in surprise. “Nanami!”

He looked as prim and proper as ever. The man still wore a suit and tie with his hair neatly parted. The only major difference in his appearance was the sunglasses that now completely shielded his eyes.

“It’s good to see you again! How have you been?” you asked eagerly.

Nanami looked at you silently, trying to recall where he had seen your familiar face before.

Then he remembered.

A flood of memories from a different life overcame him. The man hesitantly said your name, like he couldn’t quite believe your unexpected appearance before him. You nodded enthusiastically while he absentmindedly handed his credit card to the cashier.

“Oh wow,” you breathed, feeling a little giddy. “I haven’t seen you since you quit all those years ago. What are you doing now?”

Nanami seemed to pause for a second, adjusting his sunglasses. “I work at a school.”

“Oh! As a teacher?” 

“No, just as staff.”

“That sounds nice. What school?”

“It’s a private religious school in the mountains. It’s not particularly well-known,” the man replied vaguely. 

“Oh, I see.”

A loud beep of a cell phone interrupted the conversation. Nanami reached into his other pocket and took out his phone. He frowned, looking at the device. “I apologize, but I have to go immediately.”

“Oh, uh, ok,” you said, feeling slightly disappointed. You barely had any time to catch up with your former coworker. Nanami grabbed the bag from the counter and swiftly exited the store. You watched him walk away with a sigh. What were the chances that you would bump into him again? You pouted, upset that the circumstances hadn’t exactly worked out in your favor.

“Oh no!” the cashier suddenly cried out. “He forgot his card!” She pointed at the blue credit card on the counter.

“Lemme see if I can catch him!” you responded, already running out of the bakery. You pushed open the door and ran in the direction you saw the man leave. “Nanami!” you shouted. Other pedestrians looked at you curiously, but you couldn’t see the tall man anywhere. You walked around a bit further out, continuing to call his name but to no avail. Sighing, you headed back to the bakery.

“No luck,” you said to the cashier. “He’s gone already. I have no idea how he disappeared so quickly.” Crossing your arms against your chest, you looked at the forgotten card in frustration. “What should we do now?” If only you had his number! 

“I guess I can keep it here in case he comes back,” the lady reasoned.

Hmm.  

An idea popped in your head. 

A selfish one.

“Wait! How about I take it and return it to him?” you asked. Then you realized that your request might come off as suspicious. “We used to work together, I promise I’m not trying to steal it or anything.”

The cashier smiled at you softly. “I trust you. You come in here quite a lot and that man did say your name, so I know you’re not lying.”

You sighed in relief.

Thank goodness.

After buying some pastries for yourself, you walked out of the bakery holding Nanami’s credit card in your hand. You carefully stored it in your bag before beginning the walk back to your apartment.

A private religious school in the mountains, huh?

It shouldn’t be too hard to find.

---

You groaned, fighting the urge to pull your hair in frustration. 

How hard was it to find this damn school?!

You were sitting at your desk in the dark. The only light in the bedroom came from your laptop screen which was full of search engine results for “tokyo private religious school”. You were on page 15. Not a promising sign.

Recalling your conversation with Nanami, you remembered the man said he worked at a religious school in the mountains. However, none of the private schools you had found so far were located in the mountains. You frowned. Had Nanami been lying?

You shook your head to yourself.

No. 

He’s not the type to lie. He did say it wasn’t well-known.

You scrolled further down and clicked on the next page. Quickly skimming the results, you finally found something that caught your eye. 

Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College.

Huh. What a strange name for a school.  

You clicked on the link. It brought you to a strange forum that looked somewhat sketchy and unreliable, but someone had at least posted an address for the school. You grabbed your phone and immediately plugged the address into the map app.

You punched the air in triumph.

“Yes!” The dot was located in the mountains by some Tokyo suburbs. 

This has to be the place!

Luckily, tomorrow was Friday which meant you had no classes, and you weren’t scheduled for a shift at work. You were free to find the school and return the card to Nanami in person. 

“Ok!” you said to yourself, rubbing your hands together. “Now to find out how to get there.”

---

You looked at the dot of your current location on your phone and then back at the vast empty woods in front of you.

This can’t be it!

You groaned out loud in frustration, stamping your feet in a little tantrum. 

Why is it still so hard to find this damn school?!  

Looking at your phone again, you double-checked the map to see that you were in fact at the exact location of the address you inputted, but nothing was here. It was just trees!

You sighed in disappointment but refused to give up right away. Maybe your phone’s GPS was off because you were so high up in the mountains and the signal was bad. You decided to follow the road that led up the mountain with the hope that you might accidentally stumble across the school. If there was a road, it had to lead somewhere! But strangely enough, you hadn’t seen any cars, buildings, or pedestrians since entering the area. 

After walking around for almost an hour, you decided to take a break. Sitting in the shade of some trees by the side of the road, you took your water bottle out of your bag for a quick sip. You admired the beautiful, quiet scenery in front of you.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

You were currently lost in the mountains of Tokyo looking for a school you weren’t quite sure actually existed. And it was all because you were selfish and wanted to see Nanami again. Your old coworker.

You hadn’t been particularly close to him at work, though he didn’t seem overly friendly with anyone in the office. Nanami was the stoic and serious type. He didn’t talk much with the team, but you could tell he worked hard. He was always one of the last people to leave the office for the night, if he did leave. On many occasions, you found him dozing at his desk in the morning when you arrived early to work before everyone else with the sneaking suspicion that he had spent the entire night in the office.

Unlike most of the other employees and especially your boss, Nanami seemed to still care about the clients instead of just the company’s profits, judging from the small snippets of conversations you overheard from him. You had always wanted to get to know him better, but he didn’t particularly have an approachable demeanor. At the time, you were just a young, newly graduated woman who was afraid of everything and everyone. So you often just kept to yourself.

You sighed, looking down at the ground. Taking Nanami’s credit card hostage was a pathetic way of trying to rekindle a relationship that never existed in the first place. You made up your mind. It was time to head back home and drop off the card at the bakery so he could pick it up himself. Today’s excursion was just a giant waste of time much to your disappointment.

“Excuse me, miss. What are you doing here?”

“Huh?” A man was hovering over you. You swore he hadn’t been there a second ago.

You screamed. “P-please don’t hurt me!” You put your arms out in front of you, shielding yourself from any potential harm. “I don’t have much money, but you can have it all!”

The man burst out laughing. You slowly lowered your arms, hoping that his laughter meant he wasn’t going to attack you.

“I’m not going to hurt you, and I especially don’t want your money.”

You let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.” No longer afraid, you took a closer look at the stranger. He was tall. Very tall. Wearing a black outfit and a matching blindfold that spiked up his white hair.

What a strange appearance.

“Well, I won’t hurt you as long as you tell me what you’re doing here.” You gulped, hearing the silent threat in his words.

“Umm, umm, well, you see I-I got a bit lost and w-was just taking a rest,” you stuttered nervously, fiddling with your hands. “I heard there’s a private school around here and I’m trying to find it, because I know someone who works there. His name is Kento Nanami and we used to work together many many years ago and I just happened to run into him last night at a bakery but he left his credit card there and I wanted to give it back to him in person, so I thought it was a good idea to deliver it at his workplace but this school is so hard to find I have no idea where I’m going and-and I think I’m just going to leave now actually.” You realized you were rambling, so you forcibly shut your mouth to stop yourself from looking like a complete fool in front of the stranger.

The man hummed in thought for several seconds before suddenly grinning and chuckling to himself. His demeanor no longer felt threatening.

“Kento Nanami, huh,” the man said, still smiling happily.

“Oh, you know him?” You perked up, suddenly hopeful.

Maybe they work together!

“Leave it to me!” the stranger cheered, giving you a thumbs up. “I’ll escort you to the school and make sure you hand-deliver that credit card to Nanami!”

You felt relieved, tears almost prickling your eyes. “Oh thank you so much!”

---

“Satoru.”

“Mm.”

“Can’t you tell there’s a human who has been wandering near the barrier for quite a while now? It looks like they’re trying to find a way in,” Yaga commented.

“Well, they can’t. Isn’t that the whole point of the barrier?”

“I know that!” the principal grunted angrily. “But since you’re just lounging here around doing nothing, go check it out.”

“Fine.” Gojo got off the couch and headed outside, wondering how a human accidentally wandered this close to the school so far up the mountains.

---

It only took several minutes before you and the strange man found a path leading to the school. You blinked in surprise. You felt like you had walked by this part of the road earlier but had seen nothing.

Walking alongside the man quietly, you suddenly realized you had completely forgotten your manners. Quickly bowing to your escort, you introduced yourself and thanked him for taking the time to safely bring you to the school.

“It’s no problem. Any friend of Nanami is a friend of mine. Oh, and I’m Satoru Gojo by the way. I’m the first-year teacher here.”

He was a teacher? This man wearing a blindfold in broad daylight? You swallowed nervously. You wondered what kind of school Nanami was working for exactly.

Once you finally reached the main school grounds, all of your reservations immediately melted away. “Wow!” you breathed. The campus was absolutely gorgeous with beautiful statues, shrines, and gates. You couldn’t help but stop and admire your surroundings. “This school is beautiful.”

Gojo brought you to the teacher’s lounge and gestured for you to sit down. “So, tell me again how you know our dear Nanami?”

---

Nanami had just finished a mission when his phone chimed, signaling a text. He finished wiping his blade clean before grabbing the device. The message was from Gojo.

Gojo: Come back to Jujutsu Tech. Your girlfriend is here ;)

The sorcerer stared at the message. 

Nanami: I have no idea what you mean.

Gojo: ( ˘ ³˘)♥

He angrily shoved his phone back in his pocket and walked over to the car where Ijichi was waiting. He entered the back seat before closing the door behind him. “Hurry up. I need to find a certain white-haired idiot and destroy him.”

---

Nanami was walking towards the teacher’s lounge when he heard your bright laughter. He froze for a couple of seconds.

What were you doing here?

He picked up the pace, quickly entering the lounge to see you giggling on the couch next to Gojo. For some reason, it bothered him to see how close the idiot was to you and how happy you looked in his presence.

“Nanami! You’re here!” Gojo exclaimed, immediately noticing the other sorcerer’s presence. 

You turned your head quickly towards the doorway with a bright grin. “Oh, Nanami! Hi again!”

Nanami observed the scene, trying to figure out what was going on, but he was drawing a blank. 

First of all, you weren’t a sorcerer. How did you enter the school grounds? 

Second, did you know Gojo? The two of you seemed quite friendly on the couch together. 

Third, was Gojo implying that you were his girlfriend? That was absolutely ridiculous.

“What are you doing here?” Nanami asked you cautiously, adjusting his sunglasses. 

“Oh!” You dug around in your bag, pulling out your wallet. You removed a blue credit card. “You left this behind at the bakery yesterday. I tried to chase after you, but you disappeared so quickly. I had the day off today, so I thought I would try to find your workplace and give your card back to you.” You got off the couch, approaching Nanami and handing him the card.

Nanami took the card from you before placing it back in his own wallet. “You didn’t have to do this. How did you even find your way here?”

“I found her wandering nearby!” Gojo jumped in, grinning at the other sorcerer. “Imagine my surprise when she said the two of you used to work together back when you were just a salaryman. I just had to invite her back here. You never mentioned you used to work with such a lovely lady.”

You visibly blushed at Gojo’s words which just bothered Nanami even more. “Thank you for returning my card, but I think it’s about time y—”

“Nanami. Nanami. Namami,” Gojo said in a singsong voice. “You’re all work and no fun. It’s been years since the two of you have seen each other, and you’re already trying to get rid of her? Don’t you want to catch up a little bit?”

You played with your hair, a little nervous. “I mean if you’re busy Nanami, I can go. But I was hoping we could talk a little bit.” You looked up at him with bright eyes. “I want to hear how you’ve been doing.”

Nanami took one look at your hopeful face and immediately gave in. “Alright.” He gestured for you to sit back down as he walked over to one of the armchairs. The sorcerer pretended like he didn’t see your little jump of excitement as you hurried back to the couch with Gojo.

Once the three of you were all seated comfortably, you brought up what you had been previously discussing with Gojo. “I didn’t know you’re teaching at the same high school you went to as a student. That’s pretty cool!”

“He was one of the few students who graduated and decided to leave the community,” Gojo pointed out. “Most of us stay here and continue working for the school.” Nanami subtly glared at the white-haired sorcerer, wondering how much he had told you about the jujutsu world.

“Why did you decide to come back then?” you asked curiously.

“I changed my mind,” Nanami simply stated. “I realized I would find my career slightly more rewarding if I worked for the school than that company.”

You nodded in agreement. “That makes sense. I’m glad we eventually both left that job.” You slightly grimaced, just thinking about your past. It didn’t go unnoticed by Nanami.

“When did you leave?” he asked.

You hummed, recalling the past. “It was probably a couple of months after you left. I, uh, messed up something really badly and I got fired.”

Nanami raised his eyebrows in surprise. You didn’t seem like the type to make big mistakes. He remembered you as quite the careful and diligent worker. He narrowed his eyes slightly, wondering if you were being deceitful.

“It’s ok though,” you continued. “I worked a couple of odd jobs afterward to keep up with the bills until I decided I wanted to become a nurse! So I’m actually back in school now and working part-time to help pay tuition.”

“A nurse, huh,” Gojo remarked. “What a noble career choice.”

“Ahh, I wouldn’t say I’m noble or anything. I just think I would find my life more fulfilling if I was actively helping people,” you explained. “Probably similar to how you felt when you switched careers, Nanami.”

He nodded at your words.

uThe three of you chatted amicably the rest of the day. Gojo and you mostly carried the conversation, but Nanami would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy listening to your voice. After he ran into you at the bakery last night, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was the first time he was confronted with his old life after deciding to become a sorcerer again. Part of Nanami wanted to never look back on that phase of his life again, but perhaps it wasn’t all bad. Sure, he hadn't particularly liked anyone from that office, but he didn’t mind you. You had always been quiet, polite, and hardworking. 

Nanami still remembered his last day at the office. You had organized a surprise farewell party just for him with a cake, balloons, and everything. After everyone had their fill of free food and left the conference room, you had shyly wished him luck in the future and said you would miss seeing him in the office. All those memories came rushing back after encountering you in that bakery.

The sun started to set when you finally noticed the time.

“Ah! I should probably go,” you announced, checking your phone. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstay my welcome.”

“No, no,” Gojo assured. “You are very much welcome here. Like I said earlier, any friend of Nanami is a friend of mine and all my friends are welcome here!”

“How do you plan on getting home?” Nanami asked, mildly concerned.

“Don’t worry!” Gojo said. “I got it handled. Ijichi will drive her back.”

“Huh? No, it’s fine,” you tried to argue. “I can get back by myself. It’s not a problem.”

“What kind of gentlemen would we be if we didn’t ensure you got home safely? Ijichi is our finest chauffeur,” the blindfolded man insisted. “He will take care of you.”

You looked at Nanami who simply nodded at you, encouraging you to accept Gojo’s offer. Sighing, you crossed your arms over your chest with a pout. “Alright. Thank you.”

The two men waved goodbye as you left in Ijichi’s car to head back home.

“Was it really wise to have her on the school grounds?” Nanami asked.

Gojo hummed. “It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. Normal humans aren’t allowed here for a reason.”

The blindfolded sorcerer didn’t reply. Instead, he took out his phone and started tapping on the screen. Nanami’s phone chimed. It was a text from Gojo. Opening it, he saw it was a string of numbers.

A phone number.

“You should call her sometime,” Gojo said. “She likes you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do. What kind of woman travels to the mountains on her day off to try and find a publically non-existent school to return a credit card to someone she doesn’t like?”

Nanami remained silent.

“Just because we’re adults and jujutsu sorcerers doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to have some normal fun. It’s alright to be selfish every once in a while.”

How badly Nanami wanted to believe Gojo’s words.

---

You heard the door open and close.

“Hello! How many I help y—Gojo?”

You blinked in surprise, not expecting to see the teacher at your workplace. While taking classes to become a nurse, you worked part-time at a small boba tea shop. You had just finished serving the flurry of college students who needed a midday pick-me-up when Gojo appeared. Several of the seated patrons whispered and pointed at him, wondering why he was wearing a blindfold and how he could see.

“Thought I would drop by and say hi,” he said with an easy grin.

You returned his smile. “Is Nanami with you too?” you asked, trying to sound casual.

“No, not today, unfortunately,” he replied. You tried to ignore the flash of disappointment you felt. “I’ll bring him next time.”

You perked up at Gojo’s promise, nodding eagerly. “Sounds good. So, would you like something to drink?” 

The man ordered a large brown sugar milk tea with extra sugar. You looked at him, mildly concerned. “You sure you want 120% sugar? It’s pretty sweet to begin with. Trust me.”

Gojo nodded. “Yup!”

“Alright,” you said with a shrug. You did try to warn him. 

You finished preparing Gojo’s drink and handed it to him along with a straw.

“Hey, do you mind if I borrow your phone for a second?” the teacher asked.

“Oh, sure,” you said, grabbing your phone from your back pocket.

Gojo took the device and opened the camera app. “Smile!” That was the only warning you got. He had taken a selfie of the two of you together. You weren’t even smiling in the photo, completely caught off guard. But Gojo was at least prepared, grinning happily and showing off his milk tea in one hand. You watched as the man repeatedly tapped on your phone screen.

“What are you doing?” you asked hesitantly.

“Here!” Gojo handed the phone back to you. Looking at the screen, you saw that he had sent the selfie of the two of you to a random number with a text that said “Having fun without you!”

“Um. Who did you send this to Gojo?”

“Nanami, of course!”

“Oh,” you said quietly, feeling butterflies in your stomach.

Nanami’s number!

You finally had it! 

Gojo chuckled to himself as he saw the way your eyes lit up.

“Oh, by the way,” you said, looking up from the phone. “It’s my birthday next weekend. I’m going out with a couple of friends on Saturday at 8pm at the bar around the corner, and I was wondering if you and Nanami would like to join? You should bring Ijichi too and anyone else from the school! Only if you want though. It’s ok if you don’t want to come or you’re worried about being awkward with my other friends even though they’re super cool and encouraged me to invite you guys and I promise I won’t be upset if you can’t make it because this is kind of last minute and I—”

“Sounds great!” Gojo interrupted your rambling. “I’ll be sure to pass along the information. We'll be there.”

“Really?” You grinned at the teacher. “Awesome! I guess I’ll see you then!”

Gojo waved at you goodbye as you tried to compose yourself before the next wave of customers arrived.

---

“Ahh!! You guys actually came!” you squealed as a group of individuals approached your table in the bar. You stumbled out of the large booth where your other friends were seated, already several shots in for the night. You clumsily hugged Gojo without thinking. Releasing him, you took in his new appearance.

“You look so different!” you commented. “But not in a bad way!” The man had traded in his signature blindfold for a pair of sunglasses that still hid his eye. His hair was lying down flat instead of its usual spiked-up look.

Behind Gojo, you saw Ijichi with a woman you didn’t recognize. 

“That’s Shoko Ieiri,” Gojo said, following your gaze. “She’s the doctor at our school.”

You happily greeted both of them, thanking them for coming. 

And finally, you saw the person you were looking forward to seeing the most. Nanami looked good as always. He was dressed a little more casually for the night without his signature jacket, tie, and sunglasses. Instead, he wore a crisp, blue button-up shirt with the top few buttons undone. You tried not to stare too much at his revealed skin.

As you approached Nanami, you reached out to hug him but you managed to stop yourself in time. You were worried about coming on too strong and opted for a small wave instead.

“Thanks for coming, Nanami! I’m so glad you came!”

Sitting at the table altogether, your other friends immediately fawned over Gojo. One of them grabbed you and whispered in your ear.

“What the hell? You didn’t tell me one of your friends was incredibly hot?”

You shrugged and ordered another round of shots for the whole table. Gojo ended up passing because he didn’t drink, so you took it upon yourself to finish it for him.

Nanami quietly nursed a beer as he observed the scene. He didn’t typically like crowded, loud bars like this, but he would make an exception for you. Gojo had also been extremely intent on making sure everyone from the school attended your little celebration. He managed to get Ijichi to come along only after getting Shoko to agree by bribing her with free alcohol.

Nanami was currently sitting across the booth from you, watching as you chatted with your friends. You were wearing a dark red dress that perfectly showed off your curves. The left strap of your dress was a little loose and it kept falling down the entire night despite you constantly readjusting it, not that Nanami had noticed. 

You looked so carefree and lively in this atmosphere. Every once in a while, you caught Nanami’s gaze and beamed at him happily.

At some point during the night, you left the table to go to the bathroom. It was only once you tried walking back to everyone that you realized how drunk you were. Stumbling a bit in your high heels, you leaned against the wall by the bathrooms for stability.

“Excuse me miss, are you alright?”

A man approached you, but you instantly waved him off. “Mmm, I’m good,” you replied. “Thanks though.” You were determined to make it back to your friends on your own, but as soon as you took a step away from the wall, you tripped. The man caught you before you could hit the ground. He had a tight grip on your waist.

 “You don’t seem good,” he chuckled softly. “How about I help you?” You could feel his hands starting to go lower, and you quickly latched onto them and tried to pry them off you.

“I said no,” you said firmly, but the man ignored you and pressed you against the wall. “Get off!” You struggled against him but to no avail.

Suddenly, the weight of the man was lifted and you felt like you could breathe again.

“Are you alright?” a smooth voice asked. 

You looked up to see Nanami in front of you. You nodded silently and admired his strong jawline and sharp eyes in the bar’s dark lighting. 

“Can you walk?”

You nodded again. Taking a step away from the wall, you immediately staggered again much to your embarrassment. Nanami grabbed your arm and lifted you up until you were half leaning on him for support. Inhibitions suddenly gone from all the alcohol in your system, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and gave him a hug. The man tried to ignore the shiver that went up his spine when he felt your warm, soft body pressed up against him. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was quite jealous that you had hugged Gojo when they first arrived. What was so special about that idiot anyway? Nanami slowly wrapped his arms around you, indulging himself for once and returning the hug.

“I’m so glad you came,” you mumbled against his chest. “I was so happy that I ran into you at the bakery that one night. But I was afraid I would never see you again.” You paused. “I really wanted to see you again.”

Nanami didn’t know how to respond to your words, so he gently rubbed your back instead. You leaned into his touch happily.

“Let’s get back to the others,” he said gently. You sighed and reluctantly removed yourself from the embrace. Nanami half-carried you back to the table and carefully deposited you next to your friends. To your disappointment, he didn’t sit down next to you and instead headed towards the front doors.

“Nanami? Where are you going?” Gojo asked, eyebrows raised.

“I’ll be back.”

When Nanami exited the bar, he was greeted by several couples who were taking a smoke break. He walked a bit further away, so he could be alone. The sorcerer leaned against a random building, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself down. 

Nanami felt quite ashamed of himself. Acting like a hormonal teenage boy just because he briefly held you while you were wearing that damn dress. He tried to ignore the way his cock was straining in his pants. Gritting his teeth, he willed his body to relax. Nanami refused to let you see him so worked like this. He especially couldn’t let Gojo see. He could only imagine the endless teasing he would endure from the blindfolded idiot.

Inside the bar, you watched sadly as Nanami left. You wondered if it was something you did to scare him away.

Gojo sat next to you and handed you a glass of water. “Drink,” he commanded.

You did as you were told, keeping an eye on the doors to see if Nanami had come back in yet. “Does Nanami not like me?” you asked Gojo quietly with a pout.

The man chuckled. “I assure you that’s not the case.”

You turned to look at him. “How do you know?”

Gojo lowered his sunglasses slightly, and you were able to get a glimpse of his gorgeous blue eyes for the first time. “Trust me. I have good eyes.”

---

Nanami ended the call with Ijichi. He leaned against the wall of the bathroom with a grimace. He was still applying pressure to the wound he had received from Mahito. The sorcerer scrolled through the contacts list on his phone. He found himself hovering over your name.

Yes, he did save your number from Gojo’s text. Why wouldn’t he? It would be frivolous to ignore that kind of contact information.

Nanami grabbed another wad of paper towel to replace the one that was already drenched in blood. He grunted in pain.

A nurse, huh.

He wondered what you would do if you saw him right now. If you fuss over him and take care of his injuries yourself. Nanami sighed. He wouldn’t mind that. Would you carefully unbutton his shirt to get a better look at the wound? He could almost imagine the way your fingers would ghost over his stomach.

With a groan, Nanami banged his head against the wall. He couldn’t believe he was fantasizing about you while profusely bleeding in a public restroom.

The sorcerer cleaned up his blood all over the sink and threw out the dirty wads of paper towels. He went outside to wait for Ijichi to bring him back to school for proper treatment.

---

“I’m going to take my break!” you announced to your coworkers as you exited the bubble tea shop. You decided to go outside for a quick breather because it was such a nice, sunny day. Avoiding the crowds, you headed over to the alleyways near the shop to scroll through Twitter in peace.

You were so engrossed by your phone that you didn’t notice the presence of someone next to you. It was only when you heard them clear their throat that you looked next to you to see a man wearing sunglasses and a hat.

“Oh, sorry. Am I in your way? I can move.”

In the blink of an eye, he held a knife to your neck. You felt the cool blade lightly press into your skin. You held your breath, afraid to react in any way.

“Don’t scream. Don’t move,” he hissed.

Your eyes widened in shock.

That voice.

You recognized that voice.

The man grabbed you by the back of the neck and pulled you in the opposite direction of the busy street where unaware pedestrians were still walking by. He pressed the knife against your side now, digging it into the thin t-shirt you had to wear for work.

“Walk.”

He led you to an abandoned building several minutes away. Once you were inside and the door closed shut, he roughly shoved you to the ground.

You landed in a heap, groaning in pain. Turning around, you finally faced your captor.

“It’s you, isn’t you,” you said evenly. “Boss.”

The man chuckled, removing the hat and sunglasses. It was your former boss from the company where you and Nanami had once worked together. You dug your nails in the palms of your hands. If he was here, you knew you were in trouble.

“You called the cops, didn’t you!” he yelled at you, pointing the knife at you menacingly.

Cops? What was he talking about?

“No, I didn’t,” you replied honestly.

“You BITCH! Don’t lie to me.” He waved the knife closer at you.

“I promise! I didn’t tell anyone!”

With a shout, the man grabbed your hair and held the knife to your neck again. You squeezed your eyes shut and couldn’t help but let a small whimper leave your lips.

The truth was you weren't just fired from your job. You were threatened. When numbers weren’t adding up, you realized that your boss was embezzling money and had been doing so for a long time. He found out that you knew the truth and protected himself by forcibly ousting you from the company. As a young professional, you knew better than to fight against a big shot financial executive. When he warned you to stay quiet or face his wrath, you were wise enough to shut your mouth, clean your desk, and leave the building immediately. True to your word, you had never mentioned your boss’s crimes to anyone. You thought you were safe to move on with the rest of your life but apparently, that was not the case.

The man spat at you before roughly kicking you away. He started pacing as you wiped his spit off your cheek with a disgusted groan.

“This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. I’m about to lose everything. EVERYTHING!”

As he muttered to himself, you tried to survey your surroundings and determine if there was a way you could safely escape. Before you could figure anything out, your old boss approached you again, knife still in hand. He seemed to have made up his mind about what he was going to do.

“You’re going to fix this. Yea. This is your fault. I’ll pin it all on you. You’ll go down for this, not me!”

As the man ranted and raved at you, something appeared in the shadows behind him. There was some movement. You blinked your eyes, wondering if it was just a trick of your imagination. But to your horror, a green creature grew larger and larger in the background. It had three heads, each with multiple eyes and giant drooling mouths with huge teeth. The monster raised its multiple arms, hovering over your boss with all eyes fixed on him like he was a piece of prey.

“Scared, aren’t you?” the man commented with a chuckle. He was misinterpreting the horrified look on your face. “This is what you get for messing with the wrong man.”

You shook your head slowly and lifted a shaky finger to point behind him.

He turned around, dropping the knife in shock.

The weapon clattered to the ground.

Your boss screamed. He immediately tried to run away, but one of the monster’s arms snatched him in a tight grip. The three heads fought with each other as if deciding which one of them would get to swallow the prize. You took that as a cue to start running.

The monster was blocking the way you entered, so you ran towards the only other door you saw, which led to a stairwell. You ran up a couple of floors before hiding in a small closet you found. It was cramped and dusty but you hoped it was enough to hide you from that creature.

Sitting on the ground, you took out your phone shakily and called the police.

“Hello, what is your emergency?”

“I’m trapped in an abandoned building, and there’s a monster here.” You realized it sounded ridiculous, but you didn’t know what else to say in the moment.

The dispatcher groaned. “This is the last time! You kids have to stop with the prank calls. This line is for emergencies only!”

They hung up on you.

You stared at your cell phone in disbelief.

Shit.

Instinctively, you scrolled through your contacts list until you found who you were looking for. You pressed the call button.

Please pick up. Please pick up.

It went to voicemail.

You cursed to yourself again.

“Nanami,” you whispered quietly, voice quivering. “I don’t know when you’ll listen to this, but you have to believe me. I’m in an abandoned building near my job, and I swear there’s a monster here. I-I think it might have killed our old boss. I don’t know what to do, I tri—”

There was a loud bang. You quickly hung up and pressed the phone into your chest while you covered your mouth and nose with your other hand to quiet your harsh breathing. The sounds got closer and closer until it sounded like it was right outside the closet door. Your heart was beating so loudly you were worried the monster would hear it. But luckily, the noises started to become fainter. Eventually, you heard nothing even after a long time of terrified waiting.

Once you were reasonably convinced the coast was clear, you quietly opened the closet door and peeked out. The hallway was empty. Maybe this was your chance to finally escape the building.

You carefully climbed to your feet and tiptoed your way back to the stairwell. 

Your phone loudly chimed. The noise echoed throughout the empty building. It was a text message from your coworker asking where you went. You had forgotten to turn your phone on silent.

Almost instantaneously, the monster started roaring from the floor beneath you. You barely caught a glimpse of it before running up the stairs again until you reached the top floor. Exiting the stairway, you ran through the hallways until you reached a dead end.

Back pressed up against the wall, you watched in horror as the monster let out a sharp laugh as it approached you. There was blood dripping out of the mouths of all three heads. You didn’t want to think about where it came from. With no other options left, you weakly held your arms up in front of your face and squeezed your eyes shut with a whimper.

Suddenly, there was an angry shout and a loud splat.

You felt some sort of liquid splash all over you. Lowering your arms, an unexpected sight greeted you. It was the body of the monster all chopped up into pieces. You realized you were covered in its blood.

Behind the monster’s corpse stood Nanami. He had a covered blade in his hand that was also stained with the creature’s purple blood.

“N-Nanami?” you whispered hoarsely.

You couldn’t believe your eyes. Did he take down that monster? With a sword?

Nanami wiped the blood off his weapon, putting it away in its holster. He approached you as you shuddered violently, still in shock.

“Are you hurt?” he asked gently.

You shook your head no, wrapping your arms around yourself.

He kneeled down in front of you, taking out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping the droplets of blood from your face.

“What was that thing?” you whispered.

Nanami sighed, twisting the handkerchief in his hands once your face was relatively clean.

“A curse.”

You gave him a confused look.

“It’s a long explanation.”

“Yo!”

You flinched as Gojo suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the hallway. You instinctively grabbed onto Nanami’s arm in fear. He glared at the blindfolded sorcerer in anger for startling you.

“Oh, you’re already done here? I thought I’d check up on you two to make sure everything’s okay.”

First, your boss had threatened you with a knife. Then, a giant monster, no, curse appeared and attacked both of you. Nanami killed said curse. And now Gojo had appeared out of thin air. Your brain was officially broken. You just wanted to go to sleep. Surely this had to be a dream. You would wake up and everything would be normal again.

“We should probably bring her to Shoko just to make sure she’s fine and clean her up,” Gojo said, observing how your eyes were starting to glaze over.

Nanami nodded in agreement. He lightly touched your shoulder, but you hardly reacted. He said your name quietly. Blinking slowly, you finally turned to acknowledge him. “I’m tired,” you mumbled.

“I know,” Nanami said gently. He picked you up in his arms. “You can go to sleep. I’ll keep you safe.” With a sigh of relief, you closed your eyes and surrendered to the darkness.

You woke up in a small room, tucked under the covers in a warm bed. Nanami was silently sitting in a chair next to you. You let out a deep breath and turned towards the man. The rustling of the covers alerted him that you were finally awake.

“Why was the boss with you?” Nanami asked suddenly.

So it wasn't a dream.

“Oh. He was trying to threaten me,” you explained. “I didn’t lose my job because I made a mistake. I found out he was embezzling money. He said the cops were starting to question him, so he accused me of reporting him.”

Nanami clenched his fists in anger. That bastard.

“Is he alive?” you asked.

“No.”

“I figured.”

You quietly observed Nanami. He had taken off his sunglasses and blazer. You admired his wide shoulders and the way his tie was slightly loosened. 

“Nanami. What do you actually do?”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to tell you.”

You gripped the covers. “Why not?”

“Because,” Nanami sighed. “It’s a dangerous profession. You don’t need to be dragged into this world for no good reason.”

“What do you mean?” You didn’t understand what he was saying. “I do have a reason. It’s you.”

The man didn’t respond.

You sat up in bed suddenly. “If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Gojo.” You started to climb out of bed, but Nanami stopped you.

“Fine. Fine. I’ll tell you. Sit back down.” He let out of a deep breath, rubbing his face.

You silently listened as Nanami discussed the existence of curses, the theories behind cursed energy, and the role of jujutsu sorcerers. He explained how the school’s true purpose was to train the next generation of sorcerers and act as the main headquarters for all jujutsu-related activities. 

You only asked one question. “Why was I able to see that curse?”

“Regular humans can see them in life or death situations.”

“I see.”

Nanami was surprised at your reaction to learning about cursed spirits thus far. He expected you to ask more questions, to be more doubtful, to laugh and call him an idiot, or to scream and accuse him of being crazy. But you did none of those things. You just listened quietly and accepted everything he said as true. 

In your heart, you knew there was no reason to doubt Nanami. You were trying to wrap your brain around the existence of curses you couldn’t see, but you didn’t consider that the sorcerer was lying to you for a single second. He wasn’t that kind of person.

Nanami abruptly stood up. “Ijichi will drive you back home.” He started to walk away from you, but you quickly grabbed his wrist.

“Wait, don’t go,” you pleaded, eyes wide. “I haven’t thanked you for saving me yet. Thank you, Nanami.” You didn't want him to leave you. Not yet. You didn't want to be alone.

The sorcerer refused to look at you. “I think it’s best if you kept your distance from Gojo, me, and this school.”

“What?” you breathed. “What are you saying? I-I won’t tell anyone about curses or that you’re a sorcerer if that’s what you’re worried about. I promise.”

“That’s not it. I already told you. This world is dangerous. You should stay away.” He paused. “Stay away from me.”

You flinched, releasing Nanami’s wrist. The sorcerer walked out of the room without another word. You didn’t call out after him.

As Nanami walked away, he knew he made the right decision. There was no reason for you to get involved with the jujutsu world. He wanted you to live a normal life, not one plagued by constant death and despair. He was doing this for you. For your future and your safety.

“It’s alright to be selfish every once in a while.”

Gojo’s words echoed in his mind.

No. This wasn’t about him. It was about you. It wasn’t right for him to drag you into his world. He should be happy. Happy that you would eventually move on and live a long, successful life.

But why did he feel so sad instead?

---

Numerous opened textbooks and notebooks were scattered around you on your bed. You had an upcoming exam at the end of next week and were in the midst of cramming a semester’s worth of information in your head.

There was a knock on the door.

You frowned, carefully getting off the bed and walking over to the door. You weren’t expecting any visitors or a delivery today. Looking through the peephole, you gasped. You clutched your hands against your chest, trying to calm your frantically beating heart.

What was he doing here?

You hadn’t talked to or seen Nanami since your last conversation with him at Jujutsu Tech. And that hadn't ended well. You respected his request to stay away from him and Gojo, making no attempts to contact either of the two sorcerers. Instead, you had thrown yourself into your schoolwork and picked up some extra shifts at the boba shop. The less free time you had to think about your emotions, the better.

But now the man who still weighed heavily on your heart was at your doorstep. You wondered whether or not to pretend you weren’t home, but you couldn’t bring yourself to turn him away. He had clearly come here for a good reason and you wanted to know why, especially because he was the one that told you to keep your distance from him.

You unlocked the door and opened it slightly.

“Nanami.”

He said your name quietly.

The two of you looked at each other in complete silence. You waited for him to say something, but the man just continued to stand there without a word.

“Umm, well, I have an exam I need to study for, so if you have nothing to say I’m just going to g—”

Nanami suddenly pushed the door open wider, shoving you into your apartment. You stood there in shock as the door slammed shut behind the sorcerer. His unusually aggressive behavior had you baffled.

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked sharply. The man told you to leave him alone but then showed up at your apartment and invited himself inside without a word. You couldn’t help but feel a little irritated. “What are you do— mmph!”

Nanami had pushed you against the wall and kissed you.

You froze in surprise for a second before immediately kissing him back fervently.

One of his hands had settled on your waist while the other was pressed against the wall by your head. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed him closer to you, unable to get enough of this man. Nanami eventually left your lips, causing you to groan in frustration before he attacked your neck with wet kisses. You panted heavily, brain suddenly fuzzy as you tried to process that this was actually happening.

“W-what happened to staying away?” you breathed as Nanami sucked on a particularly sensitive spot that left you weak.

“I changed my mind,” he muttered against your skin before continuing to attack your neck.

After Itadori had saved him from Mahito’s domain, Nanami realized he had been given a second chance. He didn’t want to live a life without regret, especially as a sorcerer. So he decided to heed Gojo’s advice for once. 

He wanted to be a little selfish. 

He wanted you.

Nanami pressed his forehead against yours as he rubbed his hands up and down your soft curves. You breathed heavily, trying to catch your breath as you got lost in his dark gaze. 

“Bedroom,” you whispered. Nanami nodded and quickly released you, so you could guide him to your room. 

As soon as you entered the bedroom, you inwardly cursed. In the heat of the moment, you had completely forgotten what you had been doing before Nanami arrived. “Uh, sorry, let me clean up real quick.”

What a way to kill the mood!

Nanami didn’t seem to mind. He looked fairly amused as you swiftly closed all the books on your bed and haphazardly tossed them on the ground. Once the bed was finally cleared, you turned around to face Nanami, but he was already one step ahead of you. He gently pushed you on the bed, so you landed on your back as he hovered over you. Your breath caught in your throat as you admired the man in front of you. He was absolutely perfect. 

Nanami played with the hem of your shirt. Taking the hint, you sat up a little and swiftly removed your shirt and bra, throwing them in the corner of your room. Nanami let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as you took in your body. You fought the urge to cover yourself, feeling slightly embarrassed at how intensely the man was looking at you.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathed as you flushed in response. He reached out with both his hands to start kneading your breasts. You moaned as he began playing with your nipples that were already hard from excitement. Nanami removed his hand from your left breast and replaced it with his mouth. You squirmed underneath him in pleasure as he lapped and sucked on your nipple. Once he was satisfied with his work, the sorcerer switched to your other breast to give it the same treatment. With every flick of his tongue, you could feel electricity run through your body. You only craved his touch more and more.

Nanami started kissing down the valley of your breasts to your stomach. He eventually reached the hem of your shorts. “May I?” he asked.

You nodded, unable to trust your voice at the moment.

As he started tugging down your shorts, you lifted your hips to assist him. The garment was carelessly tossed to the ground. Immediately, Nanami could see how soaked your underwear was with your own arousal. His dick twitched in his pants. The sight of you so wet and eager from his touch alone only heightened his lust for you.

You practically sighed in relief when Nanami removed your underwear, fully exposing yourself to him. The heat from your core was overwhelming. You needed him to touch you and relieve some of that pressure before you lost your mind. A single finger stroked your folds, already slick with arousal. You gasped while Nanami groaned, enjoying how wet you already were for him.

“I’ve barely touched you and you’re like this already,” Nanami teased. You panted, trying to grind yourself on his hand for more friction, more pressure, more anything. He chuckled seeing how desperate you were for his touch. The sorcerer finally reached your swollen nub and rubbed it leisurely. You immediately cried out, arching your hips into man’s touch.

“Fuck,” you cursed as pleasure surged throughout your veins. Your eyes were squeezed tight as Nanami continued to play with your clit. You were so distracted by his fingers that you barely registered the hot breath near your entrance. It was only when a wet tongue began to prod into you that you realized what was happening.

With a gasp, your eyes flew upon to see Nanami’s head comfortably settled between your legs as he licked at your cunt without restraint. The sight of him eating you out only stoked the raging fire inside you. You buried one of your hands in Nanami’s hair as he worked diligently to get you off. The way he lapped at your fluids and sucked at your entrance had you moaning and quivering uncontrollably. 

“You taste so good,” he groaned against your folds as you barely registered his words.

A familiar pressure was building in your body. As it got stronger and stronger, you couldn’t stop your legs from thrashing about. With a growl, Nanami locked his arms around your legs to keep them as still. It only took a gentle suck to your swollen clit for the tension in your body to finally snap. Mouth opened wide in a silent scream, you writhed around on the bed as you finally reached your peak. 

Your mind was completely emptied while white-hot pleasure overtook your entire body. You swore you could see stars behind your eyes. As you rode out the last waves of your orgasm, Nanami eagerly slurped up your release, refusing to let a single drop go to waste.

Once you came down from your high, you released Nanami’s hair and laid back on the bed with a sigh. He removed himself from between your legs. Your fluids still covered his face, and his normally styled hair was a complete mess from your grip. Just the sight of him was enough to cause another spark of desire to flare between your legs. This man was going to be the death of you.

“Holy fuck, Nanami,” you breathed.

“Kento,” he replied, wiping his mouth clean on his sleeve. “Call me Kento.”

You flushed. Saying his first name felt incredibly intimate. 

“Kento.” 

He grunted with approval and then began to unbutton his shirt. You licked your lips as his broad shoulders and wide chest were finally revealed to you. He was incredibly well-built with defined muscles and abs, but a number of scars littered his body. Some looked quite fresh while others were old and almost completely faded.

This was the body of a jujutsu sorcerer.

You now understood why Nanami warned you that the jujutsu world was unsafe. You couldn’t imagine the suffering behind all those wounds. Perhaps one day he would be willing to share his pain with you, so you could understand his world.

You wanted to rub your hands up and down Nanami’s bare chest, but he moved out of your reach to start fiddling with his belt. Eyes lowering, you swallowed nervously as you stared at the large bulge that greeted you. Nanami slid down his pants and underwear in one go, erect cock finally released from its confines and bobbing in the air slightly.

The sight of him was both mouthwatering and intimidating. You admired the bulging veins and the bits of pre-cum that were already leaking out from the tip. He wasn’t excessively long, but he was incredibly thick. You nervously wondered if you would be able to handle his impressive girth.

You wanted to touch and taste him, but Nanami wasn’t interested. He gently pushed away your eager hands and instead spread open your legs once again. At the moment, he was more concerned about prepping you than chasing after his own pleasure.

He pressed one finger into your entrance, groaning as your walls greedily sucked him inside. You gasped, clenching around him. With how easily you were able to take one finger, Nanami slipped a second into you. It didn’t hurt, but you could feel your cunt stretching around them as they thrust in and out of you. Nanami’s fingers were so thick and long that you already felt so full.

“You’re so tight,” Nanami hissed as you got lost in pleasure once again. He pushed those two fingers in and out of you, occasionally scissoring them to loosen you up. You could hear how wet you were as he continued prepping you to take his cock. Nanami moved his fingers at just the right angle to hit a spot that had you instantly moaning and clenching around him. But he suddenly removed himself from you which had you whining at the sudden loss of contact, feeling empty. However, you stopped complaining as you watched Nanami stroke his dick, spreading your fluids and his pre-cum all over himself.

“Are you on birth control or do I need a con—”

“I’m on birth control,” you cut him off impatiently. “Hurry up. I want you inside me.”

Nanami didn’t keep you waiting much longer. He lined himself at your entrance and slowly began to push in. It wasn’t painful, but you still gasped as your walls stretched to accommodate his girth. The sorcerer immediately cursed when his tip entered you. You were so hot and tight around his cock that it took all his self-restraint not to immediately ram his full length into you. With slow, shallow strokes, you were able to accommodate more and more until his entire cock was buried inside you.

You felt so incredibly full. Your hand gripped the blanket on your bed to anchor yourself as you tried to get used to the sensation of being stuffed with Nanami’s dick. He tried to remain still above you, waiting for your signal. Eventually, you met his gaze and gave a little nod. He sweetly kissed you on the lips before he started to move.

Nanami started at a slow pace afraid to hurt you at first, but he eventually settled into a rhythm that had you moaning his name over and over again. You were so wet that he slid in and out of you effortlessly, rubbing against your walls in a way that had you seeing stars again. You had wrapped your legs against his waist, allowing him to enter you even deeper. 

You were almost babbling nonsense at this point, unaware of exactly what you were saying as your mind was just consumed by pleasure. “Fuck. Kento. You’re so big,” you whined. “Faster. Harder. D-don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

Nanami adjusted the angle of his thrusts until he finally found the spot that had you gasping and clenching down on him again. He groaned, making sure to continue hitting the same exact spot with strong, fast thrusts at just the right tempo. “You’re so perfect. Looking at you, taking my cock so well,” he growled.

The pressure was building again. Everything was so overwhelming. The lewd, wet noises of your bodies moving together. The way Nanami growled praises of you in your ear. The muscles on his back rippling with exertion underneath your wandering hands. You just needed that one final push.

One of your hands sneaked down to rub your clit, but Nanami pushed it away and pressed his thumb against your swollen nub instead. Just a couple of strokes had you reaching your peak again. You clenched down so hard around Nanami that his hips stuttered, groaning loudly in your ear. You were completely consumed by wave after wave of pleasure. You couldn’t think. You couldn’t hear. You couldn’t see. All you could register was the pure bliss that racked your entire body, leaving you gasping and shuddering.

Nanami continued to fuck you through your orgasm, ramming his cock into you over and over again. His thrusts had become more frantic and uneven, chasing his own climax after you started to come down from yours.

“Where should I cum?” he groaned with gritted teeth.

You wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down closer to you.

“Cum inside me,” you panted against his ear.

He groaned. You were perfect. Absolutely perfect.

With a couple of more thrusts, Nanami completely buried himself inside you when he flooded your cunt with his cum. He remained inside for several more moments to catch his breath before finally removing himself from you. You slightly winced as his cock brushed past your sensitive walls. Nanami couldn’t help but admire the way his cum slowly dribbled out of you.

He laid down next to you as you both began to calm down. No words were needed between the two of you. The silence was comfortable as you cuddled against his chest. Nanami rubbed your back absentmindedly as you hummed in delight.

Eventually, the two of you got out of bed and cleaned up. The textbooks and notebooks haphazardly thrown on your floor were ignored for the rest of the day. You thought you deserved a break anyways. The two of you ate dinner together, cuddled on the couch while watching a movie, and went at it again for another round before settling down to go to sleep.

You were passed out next to Nanami, completely worn out from the day’s activities and normal sleep deprivation you had as a student. Your heavy breathing was the only sound in the tiny apartment. It strangely calmed Nanami just listening to you. He turned towards you and stroked your hair affectionately. 

A part of Nanami still worried if he had made the right choice with you. He was still concerned about your safety and well-being. Would he only bring you more grief if you constantly agonized over his dangerous missions as a jujutsu sorcerer? 

He let out a quiet sigh. He knew he would have regretted it if he continued to push you away. And if he was going to be a sorcerer, he wanted to be a sorcerer with no regrets. 

Nanami only hoped that he would never cause you any pain and anguish because of his profession. It was rare for sorcerers and non-sorcerers to find happiness as a couple. But perhaps the two of you would be an exception.

He prayed the two of you would be an exception.

---

“Welcome! How may I help y—oh!” You blinked in surprise as three individuals walked into the small boba shop.

Gojo waved at you with an easy grin. Nanami stood next to him as handsome and stoic as ever, but there was a new face behind them. He looked like a high schooler.

The blindfolded teacher wrapped his arms around the boy’s shoulder and pointed at him. “Meet Yuji Itadori! One of our first-year students!”

“Oh, it’s nice to meet you,” you said introducing yourself.

The boy tilted his head, looking at you curiously. “How do you know Gojo-sensei and Nanamin?”

Nanamin?

You chuckled at the cute nickname. 

“I told you to stop calling me that, Itadori,” Nanami replied, clearly bothered.

“Well, I’m…” you hesitated. You didn’t know what to say. A friend? An ex-coworker? A normal person who couldn't see curses but knew about their existence?

“She’s Nanami’s girlfriend!” Gojo exclaimed to your horror. You immediately flushed and looked to Nanami for him to clarify, but he didn’t react. He glared at the blindfolded sorcerer as per usual but didn’t refute the statement. Your eyes widened in realization. 

“Uh, y-yeah,” you stammered. “I guess I am.”

“Nanamin has a girlfriend!?” Itadori gasped. He had even more respect for his mentor now.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Nanami growled much to your amusement.

You took their orders and began to prepare the drinks. Nanami and Idatori were talking in the corner while Gojo hung out at the counter near you. You had just finished sealing the drinks when the teacher explained something to you.

“Oh, by the way, Yuji is supposed to be dead so be sure to not mention his existence to anyone else.”

You almost dropped the drink you were holding. “Um, okay.” You thought it was better not to ask questions.

Gojo thanked you as he took his drink from your hand and grabbed a straw for himself. “Yo! Nanami! Yuji! Grab your drinks and let’s head out!”

Itadori followed Gojo out the door once he had his milk tea, but Nanami stayed behind.

“I meant it.”

“Huh?” you asked, cleaning the counter with a rag.

“I want you to be my girlfriend.”

You blinked, processing his words. A bright smile grew on your face. “Well, according to Gojo, I’m already your girlfriend.”

Nanami let out a rare chuckle and flashed you a small smile. “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Goodbye!” You waved as he left the shop.

Your coworker came out of the back room, looking at you suspiciously. “Why are you so smiley?” She looked around the empty shop. “There’s no one here.”

“Oh, no reason," you replied with a hum.

[agallimaufryofoddments]

Just a heads up, new Fate/strange fake is coming out in March. What do you think this means for Baccano since he promised 1935-E will be the next thing he finishes?

Hey there, anon; long time no chat, Tumblr; and long time wait, eh, Narita?

Here’s hoping that the sheer amount of links in this post don’t cause it to disappear from Tumblr’s internal search results...

For those wondering, anon is referring to two things:

The appearance of Fate/strange fake, Volume 7 on Dengeki Bunko's list of upcoming releases for March 2022.

The most recent tweets from Narita about Baccano! 1935-E, which date back to early 2021 and late 2020. I will be citing the machine translations of three tweets below; the original Japanese of each is provided under the cut w/archived links.

For Baccano!, you ask? Quite the ominous question you’ve asked. 

It means effectively the same as what Fire & Blood’s 2018 release meant for A Song of Ice and Fire when George R. R. Martin supposed that Winds of Winter could theoretically be published first. It means what F&B’s upcoming TV adaptation this year means for ASoIaF when Martin promised in 2019 he wouldn’t write the TV scripts until WoW was delivered.

Ish. Ish? Ish.

In all seriousness, I don’t think this means as much for Baccano! as you might be fearing. I know I’ve made jibes now and then about 1935-E being “challenging,” but, in truth, this says far more about Narita and his health than it does 1935 and its status. Here are my main takeaways from a chronological review of (some of) Narita’s tweets and publications throughout the past few years:

Narita’s health crisis has drastically affected his work-life balance.

Where a young Narita’s schedule was dominated by work (penciling his life in-between writing sessions), his schedule is now dominated by his chronically-ill health for the foreseeable future. He has to go to the hospital every month. He has various medical appointments. He has been diagnosed with, lest we forget, a disease that is ultimately incurable.

He is, or was, I have come to think, also just...burnt out. For a time, at least. I’ll elaborate on when and what I mean a little later, but it suffices to say that gone are the days when Narita could churn out four novels in a year. Right now, he’s still figuring out if he can manage two.

That is to say, I have the feeling that Narita is, at least for the time being, not quite up or able to spend...”as many spoons” on big projects / long writing sessions as he was when young.

For the past couple of years,  he has clearly been finding it easier to work in “spurts” commensurate with short fiction: manga chapters (c.f. DMDP), serial fiction (c.f. Shark Roar installments), novellas (c.f. Kurayukaba), and short stories (c.f. those two Naritaverse ones I shared last year).

I don’t think Narita necessarily even realized he was some equivalent of ‘burnt out” for a while, there. Summer 2020 does a number on hiim—maybe the pandemic picking up steam is what does it, exacerbating his problems or otherwise worsening the strain on his physical and mental health.

2021 is a different story. Actually, 2021 has a few reasons for me to be optimistic about Narita and Baccano! 1935-E, enough for the Vol. 7 release not to instill pessimism. 2021 is the first year in a while that Narita has written new Naritaverse content, putting aside whatever he wrote in honor of Durarara!! Stage.

Well, hold that thought. The chronological recap I’ve compiled below of some tweets and some publications is really worth looking over at this point, if nothing else for the sequential look at Narita’s own words on his own health and his own projects. You’ll be able to better contextualize my takeaways, whether or not you agree with them.

Keep an eye out for the April 8 (day?), 2021 tweet. I’m not really a Japanophone, so I’m not sure which of the two interpretations is closest to correct. The difference between them is major enough that it does actually undermine my ‘take’ on the F/sF Vol. 7 vs 1935-E situation.

Quick Chrono Recap

Notes: This is a non-exhaustive chronology, obviously; not all relevant tweets are quoted / mentioned, nor are various Narita works, but enough are provided for a sense of trajectory.

I’ve used machine translations for the Anglicized “quotes” of Narita’s tweets, so please check the original Japanese versions for yourselves via the archived links in the tweet’s chronological date. The dates may need to be double-checked for time zone adjustments, oops (my zone is EST); I tried to keep time zones in mind, but I keep getting muddled over which tweets I have and haven’t checked because there’s so many that I keep jumping between...

2017 April: F/sF Vol. 4 is published.

2018 Mar 20: Narita apologizes to a B! fan that Baccano!, “which was scheduled to be published last year, has been rescheduled.” He says the publication schedule isn’t up to him.

2019 Apr: F/sf Vol. 5 is published.

2019 Nov 08: Narita tweets that he is currently working on Baccano! and Durarara!! (He said he was “planning” to work on them “next” on Sep 27). The next month, he mentions again that he’s writing the last B! 1935 on Dec 18.

2020 Jan: F/sF Vol. 6 is published.

2020 Feb 8: In the first of three replies to “Fan A”, Narita echoes the aforementioned ‘19 tweets by saying he is still writing Baccano!

*ignores second reply in which Narita admits Vamp! wasn’t popular enough because it hurts*

In the last reply (poss. Feb 9 his time), Narita laments, “. . . . Baccano was just about ready to be continued when I was hospitalized for a few months and the timing was completely delayed . . . .”

2020 Apr 30/May 1: Narita tweets that he has decided to write a novella as one of the tier rewards for the Kurayukaba crowdraising campaign; he says he’ll start work on it once he finishes the Baccano! manuscript he’s working on.

2020 Dec ~24: Narita tweets...

“I've been working on Fake for a while now, but before that I have a book I need to publish for Dengeki that I'm behind on due to a number of personal and professional commitments this year, including medical treatment. I'm working on getting it out as soon as possible after that book (Baccano) comes out. ......I am very sorry for keeping you waiting.......”

He reaffirms this order of priority in a 2021 Jan 25 tweet.

See the April 8 tweet below for this translation confusion x2: is he saying he will release Fake “in one go” here and in that tweet?

2021 ~Apr 8, aka no F/sf Vol. 7: Narita replies to a Fate fan via tweet...

“I've been working on Fake, but I promised Dengeki Bunko that I'd publish the last issue of Baccano 1935 first, so I'm planning to publish it after that. I apologize for the delay. I'm very sorry for making you wait.”

Alternative TL?: Japanophones help me out here. Could this alternatively read “I’ve already written Fake [...] so I’ll be putting it out in one go after 1935″ or something along those lines? if so, the difference is pretty important.

2021 Apr 24: In a thread’s second tweet, Narita confides...

“Due to physical and mental reasons, I've been [struggling or unable to write / behind on writing] novels since last summer, but I'm finally back on track, and [Pandora Shark of Torch Island] is the first installment of my novel work. I'm sure I'll be able to update you on the progress of the Dengeki and other collections that I'm rebooting at the same time, so please bear with me!“

“Due to [physical and psychological reasons caused by illness and other factors]s? alt?

Check out this important reply to a fan (below):“...and I'm really sorry about the situation, it's just my [unpreparedness / malaise / age] that got me [confused / into trouble] after I went through surgery and a long hospital stay while writing Baccano. ......[We/I]'ve been working on this project for a long time, but [we/I]'ll be able to give you more information about Baccano soon, so please wait a little longer!”

I think the gist of his last reply is that he spent so long in the hospital that he was “out of practice” when it came to writing Baccano! after he was finally cleared to work or what have you? I knew my suspicion re: Narita needing to reacquaint himself with 1935 wasn’t entirely unfounded.

2021 May 25: Ditto the thread...

“I'm very sorry. I'm very sorry for the delay due to my long hospitalization and other circumstances after contracting a disease designated as intractable, but as soon as Baccano is finished, I plan to publish Fake in succession, so I hope you can wait a little longer.“

Observations: 1935-E’s active advocate is whom?

Call: Who...killed...thirty-five E...?

Dengeki Bunko, the phrasing of certain tweets seems to imply. Narita “needs” to publish 1935-E but “is behind.” Dengeki Bunko is thus the expectant party to Narita’s “obliging” party. Narita “promising” Dengeki Bunko out of context could be taken as Narita being 1935-E’s active advocate...if one assumes Narita volunteered such a promise without prompting.

With the context of the Dec tweet, however, I suspect it likely that Narita’s promise may have been a reactive rather than active one—reactive, perhaps, to Dengeki Bunko asking about 1935-E (yet again?). With the new retroactive context of an March 2022 F/sF release, the April 2021 tweets become that much more important to include here.

Speculative Interpretative Summary

Response: “I,” said Narita, “with my biro narrow / I...killed...thirty-five E.”

Q: To whom did Narita make his promise? 

A: Not us. He made Dengeki Bunko a promise.

Q: When did he make that promise?

A: Theoretically any time in (late) 2019.

No, seriously. As early as 2019. He quipped that he was “healthy now” in the afterword of F/sF Vol. 5. He did say he was planning to work on B! in September 2019, and was allegedly working on it by November. He will reiterate that he is working on 1935-E a few times in early 2020, and, at the cusp of May, is still referring to a finished Baccano! manuscript as a certain thing in firm terms. Maybe he really did believe it was doable, at this point in the year.

However... Narita’s physical and mental health evidently take a different turn that summer, c.f. his April 2021 tweet. His illness, it goes without saying, is one factor. Naturally he doesn’t say much about the other factors, which is his right as it is his personal business; I am sure, however, that the pandemic’s grip on Japan in Summer 2020 absolutely did not help matters. (You know, Summer 2020? When Tokyo was supposed to hold the Olympics? You probably remember reading about the COVID-19 situation in Japan in the news.)

His December 2020 tweet, then... Well, honestly, it reads like progress has been more “stuck” than “made” since December. Narita is essentially saying that Fake is on hold until 1935-E is out, but 1935-E is referenced in such a way that makes it feel more like a static obstacle than something dynamic. 

If we think of 1935-E and Vol. 7 as two vehicles on a single road, then Fate/strange Fake should be trailing behind 1935-E—stuck at 1935-E’s pace, with no choice but to wait until they reach an intersection and 1935-E can turn towards its finish line, allowing Fake to speed on ahead. This tweet instead has me picturing 1935-E stalling in place, with the driver of the Fake driver (DB exec) blowing his horn and checking his watch. Now, I guess, the Fake vehicle can simply not wait any longer; it is swerving around the 1935-E stall for a March release. 

—At the time Narita shared the Dec 24 tweet, I was latching onto the apparent reaffirmation of 1935-E being up next and thus saw the tweet as a positive update. Of course, the tone of the tweet itself is actually almost morose; Narita doesn’t actually hint at how 1935-E is going, as if he’s spent the last several months . . . . struggling to work on it or any other large-scale project...

(Oh wow. Hell. That is me. I’m describing me. On second thought, this may just be a massive case of projection so ignore me and draw your own conclusions from his own words in the original JP.)

Then we roll into 2021, and I guess April 2021 is where Narita starts to, as he says, “rebound.” 

Remember that 2021 Naritaverse content I mentioned?

Narita kicks off the year in a Naritaverse mindset via the two Baccano! 193X and Baccano! x Durarara!! 2020 short stories published in Feb 2021 as part of the Kadokawa Expo 2020 memorial book.

Then, in April, he kicks off a new serial novel (?) (Shark Roar series / Pandora Shark series), the installments of which take place in the Naritaverse c. 2034. 

(I know, right? I ignored the new Shark series for so long! How did it never come to my attention that the stories were set in the Naritaverse? I found a tweet in which Narita does mention this, but unfortunately it didn’t enter my radar at the time.

( Whatever Narita’s reasons were for launching Shark Roar, I’d like to think that writing the installments has been a fun way for him to kindle his excitement for the universe itself (through, what else, vampires and sharks) without any of the pressure that, say, the finale of Baccano!’s biggest arc entails.)

Baccano! is still on Narita’s mind toward the end of 2021, since he shares the news that Fujimoto’s Baccano! manga is fully available to read on the MangaUp! app. We’re approaching the two month mark since that tweet...

...Okay, so now what?

Well, let’s all go buy the first Shark Roar volume, for one thing. (It collects the nine installments released betw. April – November 2021). Am I right, fellas? I wanna see if there’s more info on that Nebula curator that’s mentioned...

If I really dared to go all out with optimism to the point of Isaac & Miria-levels of hopeless delusion, I would latch onto the “project / story” word choice (?) in the Spring 2021 tweet and hope that maybe Narita and Dengeki Bunko are figuring out how to hype 1935-E up once it’s ready. Again, the part of me who’d be doing the latching on is the part of me who still can’t let go of the “Baccano!” 2003–2023 extravaganza” fantasy founded on the conceit wherein the last B! LN is hypotheticaly published in 2003. 

(My consistency in wishing for this time and time again really might blow up in my face, because for all my “best to keep expectations lower than low” posturing I am definitely setting myself up for heartbreak if 2023 gets nothing in the way of a Baccanniversary,)

Summary, for the love of sanity?

To summarize this really lengthy position (God, I tried so hard to keep this whole response relevant, I’ve rewritten this whole thing twice in the mode of Theseus’ ship, cut out so many pointless paragraphs)...

Fake Vol. 7 beating out 1935-E seems less serious if one zooms out to consider the bigger picture.

2021 was actually more of a content win for Baccano! & the Naritaverse than it was for strange Fake!

(2020 as it turns out was really bad healthwise both physically and mentally, whodathunk!)

The cause(s) of 1935-E’s setbacks are manifold and cannot be reduced to any one factor. Narita’s rustiness with the material, Dengeki Bunko’s publication order decisions, Narita’s health, the pandemic (which likely has taken a toll on Dengeki Bunko’s available staff in addition to Narita’s own condition), these are all concomitant with each other and all relevant to 1935.

You know what I think Fate/strange fake coming out in March 2022 means? I think it probably means that Dengeki Bunko had some Terms & Conditions when it was decided that 1935-E really well and truly had to be Narita’s next release. See, March 2022 is the last month of Fiscal Year 2021 in Japan (Fiscal Years’ start & end months differ per country). 

I’m guessing that Dengeki Bunko could have said, “Look, we’ll hold off on publishing F/sf Vol. 7 for as long as we can, but we really will need it out by the end of Fiscal Year 2021 no matter what.” Again, sure, maybe there’s been some big new development that’s really responsible for the publication order switch, but—this is Fake we’re talking about. If those April 2021 tweets do actually mean that Narita finished Volume 7 well in advance, that would certainly be conducive to such a scenario.

I wonder whether there’s been any rumbling on JP Twitter or 5Ch about the updated list? I expect I’ll find some rumblings sooner than Narita will confirm or deny Vol. 7 is happening right now. (Whether he says something or doesn’t in a month’s time will really seal the deal.)

...I’m pretty sure there was at last one other definitive thing I wanted to say in this last section, for it’s popped in and out of my head at least three times in the last five minutes, but at this point I probably have exhausted you and the salient thoughts to be shared anyway. I guess I can edit it back in when I work up the energy to edit all the story titles...

Addendum: “big new development”...or any number of smaller issues. Reminder to myself and others that there are numerous people involved in a novel’s development process beyond “the author” and “faceless executive who personally hates Baccano!” ha. There never is just one person who can decide the fate of a product in a Japanese company; everything has to go through tons of people for review and approval per collective decision-making. As you can imagine, it often takes a long for these bureaucratic cycles to complete, and projects can be held up accordingly whiel their members wait for someone to get back to them.

Meanwhile, Katsumi Enami is always in demand for other projects; they need him to be available to illustrate the novel. Meanwhile, who knows to what extent COVID-19 has been taking out Dengeki Bunko’s staff? 

Meanwhile, by the time you finish reading all this, Fate/strange Fake will probably be out. Whew boy.

Totally Canon Dialogue between Narita and Dengeki Bunko

Insert after the paragraph that ends with “Dengeki Bunko has Narita sit at a table upon which 1935-E is the main draw.“   ←Can you tell I had to extensively rewrite this post? Because I did; this comment and, frankly, the entire ‘dialogue’ below, are vestiges of the early chaff.

Dengeki Bunko: Narita-sensei, we are very sorry that your health has been so mercurial. We are all rooting for you.

Narita: Thank you very much.

Dengeki Bunko: It has been two years since 1935-E was scheduled for release. Is there a chance that progress has been made during this time?

Narita: Yes.

Dengeki Bunko: Is there a chance that the novel can be completed by next year?

Narita: Reply hazy, try again.

Dengeki Bunko: We would like 1935-E out as soon as there is confidence it is ready.

Narita: I understand.

Dengeki Bunko: It has been two years, Narita-sensei.

Narita: I promise I am able to finish 1935-E.

Dengeki Bunko: If we push back F/sf Vol. 7 from a Spring 2021 release, maybe there will be significant progress on 1935-E? Enough so that we can finally publish it and thence Vol. 7 in succession?

Narita, in F/sf Vol. 6′s afterword: “I somehow managed to get two books out in fiscal year 2019! I hope I’ll be able to maintain this pace. . . .”

Narita: I promise I will finish 1935-E next.

Dengeki Bunko: We are holding off on Volume 7 for this, you understand, because 1935-E is so extremely overdue, but please understand that we cannot delay Volume 7 overlong. You have at minimum most of Fiscal Year 2020; we will renegotiate at the Fiscal Year’s end. Does this sound reasonable?

Narita: I promise I hope to maintain my hope that I can write at the pace I managed to maintain for the past several months, hopefully.

Dengeki Bunko: Narita-sensei, please try your best to finish.1935-E as promised. However, if it should happen that we approach the end of Fiscal Year 2021 with 1935-E still not quite ready, we will have no choice but to ensure Fate/strange fake Volume 7 is released before Fiscal Year 2022 begins. It would be shameful if the Fate fans had to wait even longer than they already have.

Narita: Yes, It would be a shame.

Dengeki Bunko: Please take care of yourself in the meantime, for it seems that COVID-19 coronavirus is proving to be quite contagious...

Non-Non-Non Canon (except for the part where the shark series is set in the Naritaverse)

Dengeki Bunko: Narita-sensei, please try your best to finish.1935-E as promised [...]

Narita: Yes, but what if I decide in 2021 to publish some serial installments from, let me see, April to November 2021? Could I do that?

Dengeki Bunko: Concentrate and ask again.

Narita: I will do that via a different Kadokawa subsidiary. By the way, they will potentially be set in the same universe as Baccano!, so can we count a collected volume of those stories “just as good” a substitute?

Dengeki Bunko: Eh? Who is allowing this to happen?

Narita: Dwango, to whose IP brand IIV I belong. If it is a comfort, the installments feature new characters and are set in c. 2034. I will be mentioning Nebula outright in the blurb for the second installment.

Dengeki Bunko: Is there a chance, Narita-sensei, that you have been writing Winds of Winter instead of 1935-E all this time?

Narita: No, but it is true that I wrote the original manuscript for the TV Drama Mushikago no Jōmae not so long ago...

I could write hypothetical dialogue between them all day. Unfunny dialogue that quickly outstays its welcome, but fun enough to write..

[do-a-reference-properly]

AO3′s users alert! Unauthorised fanworks copying

26/09/2019. Important update on this mess: we found a way to delete fanworks via take down request to the hosting provider. Please check it here https://do-a-reference-properly.tumblr.com/post/187926459079/finally-some-good-news

Dear AO3 users,

We would like to bring your attention to an ugly situation with unauthorized copying of works posted on AO3.

A lot of works from AO3 have been copied to fanfics.me (we’ll call this site FFM for brevity’s sake) and are still being copied right now, either:

— automatically by a code specifically created by FFM’s owner for this purpose, or

— by unaware or unscrupulous FFM’s users via semi-automatic method (by inserting a link to a work from AO3 into a web-worm on FFM).

All works from AO3 — with a few exceptions (I’ll elaborate on this below) — can end up on FFM without authors even noticing. Even fanarts or podfics.

FFM doesn't comply with DMCA which means that such reposts endanger fanworks' creators in case the copyright holder demands to delete the fanwork.

Authors of the copied works do not have any control over them; if the work is edited it won’t be updated on FFM until someone manually updates it.

Additionally FFM’s owner makes money out of reposted free fanworks from numerous Google and Yandex ads on each and every FFM’s page by having people go to this site when searching for fics on Google etc. So we recommend using an Ads Blocker when visiting this site in order to prevent the owner from earning more. Ghostery or Adblock Plus work just fine, but you can use any other Ads Blocker that is convenient to you.

Oftentimes FFM even shows up before the original post with the work on Google search results.

The owner’s e-mail: refery@fanfics.ru.

The owner at AO3.

We are trying to bring AO3’s users attention to this situation and help authors with taking their works down from FFM.

 Briefly about the website and its owner

Let me start from the very beginning as it will bring into the light the nature of FFM and give a good example of its owner characteristic behavior.

At first, some person with nickname Refery created FFM as a web archive where authors — mostly from Harry Potter fandom — could publish their fanworks.

Time passed, the site grew and added some features (blogs, pre-moderation and etc.), and all was good and well up till the moment when Refery decided that it would be a great idea to copy to FFM fanworks published on other Russian fanfiction archives — among them from the biggest and most known site ficbook — without asking authors for permission. Even those works that had “Ask me before posting the story somewhere else” mentioned in its text or summary were copied.

For some time nobody noticed, but when finally and inevitably this came out the authors were outraged. It took a lot of time to finally persuade Refery to at least not to copy fanworks bearing a special tag “Уточнять у автора” (Ask the author first).

But after some time Refery — without giving any notice — violated his own promise and resumed copying to FFM fanworks that had the agreed upon tag. The authors complained again, so very reluctantly and after many painful discussions this feature was reinstalled.

So FFM has been notoriously known, mostly amongst Russian fandom, for claims on re-posting fanworks without the consent of the authors.

We're mentioning this situation just to give you a detailed portrait of a person we are dealing with here.

Not only fanworks are copied to this website, but original works, too. Even those which were already published. There were all 7 of Harry Potter novels (both original text and translation), The Hobbit: There and Back Again (translation) and Vorkosigan Saga (translation) available for everybody to read and download. They were taken down only recently due to the attention this whole situation had drawn, but nothing ever goes away once it’s posted online and you can access the proof via Internet Wayback machine. We know for a fact there are other books on FFM and some actions have been taken in this regard, but still it takes time to find published books on this site.

Recently Refery decided that Russian archives are not enough for him and started copying all fanworks into FFM without any permission from the authors from numerous sites, like AO3, fanfiction.net, fictionpress.com, fanfiktion.de and likely other web-archives.

Moreover, the authors of these works can not delete their works from FFM and/or manage them. The site is in Russian only and, hence, we strongly believe that non-Russian speaking authors even do not know that their works are reposted somewhere else.

As a Russian fan-community, we have tried to stop such activity of FFM many times; however, we have not been successful in achieving our goal completely. Our most recent achievement is that the FFM’s owner implemented the "Don't copy to another site" tag created specifically for AO3 (here is the link to FFM’s owner post on his personal blog regarding this tag. Please use Ads Blocker!). This tag should be added to each work presented on AO3 in case the author does not want their works to be copied to FFM.

We are of the opinion that no work should be taken without permission in the first place, but this tag is all we’ve got.

Please note that it seems that some time ago there was similar case of unauthorized copying with other site. Please check this link, they give useful advice.

How to prevent copying from AO3

If you check AO3 you may notice that "Don't copy to another site" tag has hugely emerged in the recent weeks, but mostly amongst Russian users and there is a good reason for this: the owner of FFM announced this tag only in Russian and only on his private blog, so naturally there is no way for non-Russian speaking AO3 users to know about this — albeit non-satisfactory — solution.

There are no guaranties that the FFM’s owner won’t change the rules again as has already happened numerous times before (few examples we described above) and that works with this tag won’t be reposted in the future, but for now it’s the only quick and working solution besides making your works visible only to registered users, which is not ideal. 

This situation is highly unpleasant, but we ask you not to delete your works from AO3, because if the work is deleted from AO3 it will be nearly impossible to delete it from FFM: we won't be able to refresh it manually and remove the text.

Please note that adding this tag won’t work for texts that have already been copied. Only users who have accounts at FFM will be able to delete them. Each work needs to be deleted manually.

However, the Russian fandom — except for the owner of FFM — strongly condemns reposts without the consent of the author, so feel free to contact our volunteers (through DM or Ask on our tumblr page) providing the links to the works stolen from AO3, so we could delete them for you.

Unfortunately, it is not possible to cover all authors and works manually. So, we contacted AO3’ Technical Team with the aim to bring their attention to this situation and inform about it all AO3 users, and hope that AO3 team will find a general solution to resolve this problem, possibly, in collaboration with the AO3 lawyers.

We are trying to warn as many authors as possible and recently started spreading this information via comments on AO3; but considering the number of works copied to FFM informing all authors will take considerable time, and we can easily miss someone, especially since the copying is still in progress and new works from AO3 are appearing on FFM every day.

Please help us spread the word!

 We tried to make a comprehensive FAQ about this. Feel free to ask if anything is unclear!

FAQ

Q: Can I check if my work was copied to FFM?

A: Yes, you can.

FFM makes money on Google and Yandex ads, so we recommend turning on the Ads Blocker of your choice before visiting this site.

Please follow this link, insert the title of your work or your AO3/other web-archive nickname into the field containing the words "insert-title-nickname" and hit "Искать" (Search).

For works rated Mature or Explicit you will be able to see only the caption "Текст произведения доступен только зарегистрированным пользователям старше 18 лет" ("The text of the work is available only to registered users over 18 years old"), but FFM users are able to read and download the story.

Q: My work from AO3 was copied. How can I take it down?

A: First of all add the tag "Don't copy to another site" (without “ “) to the stories you want to be taken down.

Actually we would recommend adding this tag to all the works you don't want to be copied.

Contact one of our volunteers (through DM or Ask on our tumblr page) providing links to your works or send an e-mail with your deletion request directly to the FFM owner at refery@fanfics.ru or at AO3. 

There is a third option: to register on FFM and delete the work yourself by hitting the refresh button, but considering that the site is in Russian we do not think it will be very convenient to those who do not speak Russian language.

Q: I got the message that my work has been deleted. How can I check if it is true?

A: You can go to FFM, search for you work, click on its title and scroll down.

After the summary there is a field that should look like this for those fics that have been deleted.

Basically it says that the author of this particular work has forbidden its copying and that only the information on its title, author’s nickname, rating, pairings, summary and the link to original post on AO3 are available. 

For works that are still available on FFM this field looks like this (if the work is open for non-registered users).

Q: My work copied from AO3 was deleted, but FFM still shows some information on it. Can it be deleted?

A: Even though the text of the fic is not going to be on FFM anymore after it has been deleted, the fic's title, author's name, rating, pairings, summary and link to original post on AO3 will remain there.

The deletion of this leftover information can be done only by the site owner himself.

Some Russian authors tried to make him to delete it, but in most cases the FFM’s owner refused them mentioning that publication of such information is in line with fair use concept and doesn’t violate authors’ rights.

We are yet unsure how to delete this leftover information. In case you need it as well, try contacting the FFM owner at refery@fanfics.ru or at AO3. Maybe e-mails of a large number of authors will work, but unfortunately we can’t guarantee anything. In case you need it, we can provide Russian text for you to send by e-mail (please contact our volunteers through DM or Ask on our tumblr page).

Q: My work from fanfiction.net/fictionpress.com/fanfiktion.de/other web-archives was copied to FFM. How can I take it down?

A: Unfortunately, there is no possible way for us to delete from FFM the fanworks that are copied from web-archives other then AO3. Only FFM’s owner can delete these works, please try contacting him at refery@fanfics.ru or at AO3. In case you need it, we can provide Russian text for you to send by e-mail (please contact our volunteers through DM or Ask on our tumblr page).

Please do not delete your works from the web-archive it was stolen from, because if the work is deleted it will be nearly impossible to delete it from FFM.

Also it seems that some time ago there was similar case of unauthorized copying with other site. Please check this link, they give useful advice.

[gay-otlc]

Do you hate me, one of my opinions, something I frequently post about, or think anything else negative about my blog?

Good news! You don't have to keep me a part of your tumblr experience!

Instead of sending rude asks, which (a) takes unnecessary effort on your part, (b) sometimes lead to harm or death of the person receiving the ask, and (c) causes us both to talk to one another, which both of us will hate...

Here are four simple ways to avoid whatever you don't like about me!

Method one: Do not initiate conversation with me.

If you don't want to hear what I have to say, do not give me the opportunity to say something. Conversations typically involve me responding, which, if you hate me so much, you probably would not like. In order to avoid having to hear my response, don't give me anything to respond to.

Don't reach out to me. Don't send me a message. Don't reblog my post. Don't initiate conversation, and I guarantee you will see my opinions less frequently.

Method two: Filter tags.

There's only a specific topic you hate me talking about, and everything else is alright?

Well, tags on tumblr exist for a reason.

If you hate seeing me ramble about my personal life? Block "shai rambles" or "saturn rambles." You hate my vent posts? Good news, I always tag them "vent tw." I curse a lot, and that's triggering for you? I try my best to tag everything "cursing tw." You don't want to see posts about, say, polyamorous posivitity? I tag it all "polyamorous positivity."

If there's something I don't tag yet, you can break step one and send me an ask or a DM requesting that I tag it. I'll try my best to remember, and if I forget sometimes, it's 100% okay to remind me. I won't ask why you want me to tag it, I just will.

If you go to the top right of the tumblr screen (on desktop at least, all of these instructions will be for desktop. if someone could rb with mobile instructions that'd be great) there should be this person-silhouette-icon-thing. Click on it, there will be a dropdown menu. Click on settings.

[Image description: A screenshot of the dropdown menu when you click on the silhouette in the top right corner. Settings is circled and has a cursor over it.]

Scroll down; right below the language settings will be filtering. There's going to be a box for filtered tags. Type in whatever tag you don't want to see- "suicide tw," for example, is a common one, and then click the blue "add" button.

[Image description: The tumblr settings page. "suicide tw" is written in the filtered tags box, and the cursor is over the "add" button, which is circled.]

Then, tumblr will block anything tagged with whatever you filtered!

[Image description: A tumblr post with the message "This post contains filtered tags: tw suicide." There is an option to view the post.]

Whatever you didn't like and wanted me to tag, you won't see it unless you choose to (assuming I remember to tag it; I will try my best).

Method three: Unfollow me.

Filtering tags isn't working well enough? Either I keep forgetting to tag it, or you don't like seeing any of my content. In this case, you should probably stop seeing my content and unfollow me.

Go to my blog- I'll be using tumblr's staff account as an example. It should look something like this:

[Image description: A view of the tumblr staff blog, with the url, search bar, three dots, and unfollow button at the top. The heading is below that, and then their most recent post.]

Now, in the top right corner, there's this button labeled "unfollow..."

[Image description: The same view of the tumblr staff blog, but the unfollow button in the top right corner has a cursor hovering over it, and is circled in red.]

Click it! My posts will not appear on your dashboard.

Method four: Block me.

I'm still annoying you? Alright then. You can take some extra measures to ensure we don't interact.

Once again, you should go to my blog...

[Image description: The same view of the tumblr staff blog, but the three dots next to the unfollow button are circled in red. A cursor is hovering over that.]

Click those three dots! A dropdown menu should appear.

Congratulations! You have blocked me. According to the tumblr website, this means...

I won't be able to follow your blog.

I won’t be able to message you.

I won't be able to send asks to your Tumblr.

I won't be able to see your posts in my dashboard.

I won't be able to like or reblog your posts.

You won't show up in my search results.

Sounds like you won't have to hear my opinions ever again, unless you want to.

From this point on, you will have to waste zero mental energy thinking about me or dealing with whatever about me you don't like! You can just enjoy your tumblr experience without letting me ruin it. Whatever you hate about me, it's over, and you can pretend like I was just a bad dream.

TLDR: If you hate me and my opinions, there are a lot of things you can do. You can not reach out to me so we don't have a conversation; you can filter tags you don't like; or you can block me.

[an0nymousghost]

simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring. 

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files 

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze​ is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though 

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient. 

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays. 

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save. 

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet. 

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them. 

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out 

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds. 

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah. 

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no. 

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think! 

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes. 

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives. 

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are: 

paisley and alari started dating during this 

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators. 

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff. 

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip. 

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves. 

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do. 

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so 

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Are you aware of operation pridefall?

Lee says:

Transphobic and homophobic trolls have been on the internet forever, and sadly it looks like they won’t be going away any time soon. Ain’t nothin new.

I’m a pre-med college student with a wonderful partner and plenty of friends, and I’m happy, loud, proud, and living my life. I came out 8 years ago and never looked back, so nobody is going to stuff me back in a closet. Trolls don’t have any more power over me or my life than the power I give to them, so I’m not going to be afraid because there’s nothing to be afraid of. Like ? Ohh noo, what if someone sends something rude to my inbox?? whatever will I do, I sure wish there was a “block” button ...

But while I personally don’t feel concerned about this particular troll effort and I’m no stranger to rude and hateful anons, you should always take whatever steps you feel like you need to take in order to protect your mental health.

If you get anon hate, or are worried about getting anon hate, here are a few options:

Step one: Don’t reply to the ask, and don’t delete the ask- block them! You can’t do this in the Tumblr mobile app, but if you’re on the computer-version of the Tumblr website you can block an anon in the inbox, which will also delete their ask. Often anon hate is just from like 1 user pretending to be different people.

Step two: If you keep getting hateful anon asks from different anons, you may want to check the tags on your original posts. You might be accidentally using a tag that discoursers use, which makes it more likely that you’ll attract hate from people scrolling through that tag. You may also want to avoid tagging or using key words in your posts, so censoring things when necessary can help avoid your blog from showing up in searches.

Step three: If you don’t want to appear in search results at all, you can always remove your blog from all search engine results (including Tumblr’s) by turning off the “Allow this blog to appear in search results” option in your blog’s settings on the web. This means your posts won’t show up in the “recent” posts if you search on Tumblr, and it makes it harder for people to search within your blog itself.

Step four: If that doesn’t work, and you’re still getting anon hate, turn off anon. People can’t send you anon asks if anon asks aren’t enabled. People are less likely to send hate when their URL is attached- it doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to avoid getting hate, but it does make it way less likely.

On the Tumblr website on the computer, click “Settings” under the account menu at the top of the dashboard, then on the right side of the page, choose the blog you’d like to update. In the Ask section, enable “Let people ask questions.” Then uncheck the box that says “Allow anonymous questions.”

I’ve turned off anon asks on a number of my blogs, including @brownandtrans because there’s no reason someone has to be sending me questions anonymously in some places. I know you might get fewer asks, but you have to ask yourself if that’s an acceptable trade off, and honestly it usually is.

Step five: Your other option is turning off asks entirely and turning off submissions. You can similarly restrict replies so only blogs you follow can reply to your posts, and you can restrict messaging so only blogs you follow can message you. That way people can only send hate via reblogs.

It’s reasonable and valid to be upset about people being transphobic in your inbox, and I’ve been through the same thing so I know how you’re feeling. It sucks. But you don’t have to be passive about it! If IRL transphobia was something you could control your exposure to and simply turn off in the settings we’d all be a lot happier, but that isn’t the case. But that is true in some cases when you’re online, so why not take advantage of the opportunity?

If you’re getting a lot of hate, it’s worth blocking those asks and then turning off anons or asks entirely for at least a month and seeing how it goes. Your social media is supposed to be safe space for you, and you control what content you want to be seeing and interacting with, so there’s no reason you have to allow people to send you asks at all if it’s going to be negatively impacting your mental health. Even if you haven’t had any trolls yet but you’re really anxious about it and it’s affecting your mental health, it’s okay to take the steps you need to take to protect yourself.

Step six: Hide your blog entirely and password protect it. Only tell your blog’s password to people you trust and want to interact with, like friends or mutuals. This is another option in your blog’s settings on Tumblr. Now the only people who can see your blog are the people you’ve explicitly given permission to.

TLDR: You don’t have to take all these steps if you don’t feel like you need to, but at the very least don’t reply to anon hate (stop feeding the trolls, it isn’t helping you or the best way you can spend your efforts to help the movement) and block the ask instead.

Note: These are my tips for Tumblr specially, so you should look through your privacy settings and options on any social media site you use to see what your options are!

But honestly, I don’t really predict much more trolling this June than we experience in general. Most of these troll campaigns are a lot of bark and no bite, and they usually end up creating more fear and anxiety when people warn each other about it than from the troll’s actual actions, in my opinion. Sadly, we can get homophobic and transphobic anons at any point in the year.

[throwitawayokay]

Predators around every corner

This is confusing. A lot of your favorite fandom creators, out of nowhere, are being accused of endangering minors and others for making nsfw content or following/being-friends-with people who do; that is a serious claim, and a frightening one, and no one would say such a thing if they weren’t 100% sure they were correct about it, right? After all, to say something about someone is an awful thing to say, and needs proof and reason, or else it is libel and grounds for a defamation lawsuit and would, morally, be an absolutely terrible thing to accuse a person of if it was not true.

Obviously, they must have reason. Obviously, these accusations are founded and must eventually prove to be true, even if they cannot now, or maybe they can, maybe the accusations would hold up in a court of law, but for some reason the same people making these accusations... won’t come out directly and accuse these people and don’t have any evidence besides what they ‘think’ this other person is thinking.

Someone has made an argument, somewhere, that writing nsfw of aged up minor characters in atla is predatory behavior and endangering to minors. Is it?

1. Is it legal?

   Easy answer, yes. It’s legal. By definition it is smut of adult characters, regardless of where it originates. None of it is on tumblr, where it would not be allowed, but instead on a web site where it is clearly tagged and behind an age limit. In fact, this argument would be laughed out of court. Because no law is protecting the nsfw depictions of fictional characters, who are not real, regardless of age, besides potentially copyright.

If the stories are about underage fictional characters? It still, at least by USofA law, still not illegal. Yes. That’s correct. Stories depicting underage fictional characters in sexual situations does not follow under the definition of child porn and is allowed in publication and law. To see proof of that, besides reading the actual law which you are free to do, simply note the fact that Stephen King’s It is not only still in print but recently had two film adaptations.

So that, would in fact, be allowed; however what is being called into question is depicting adult fictional characters in nsfw situations. A completely different thing that is, actually, very different from the other. But, to simply answer the question of legality, it’s all legal.

2. When is it endangering to minors?

   This content can, in fact, be endangering to minors when they are exposed to it either without warning, in a search, or if they are sent this content by another person. Ways that this could happen are if nsfw images appear google searches (where such content can be reported and taken down) or if nsfw writing is not properly tagged or accompanied by archive warnings (posted on ffnet for example or not properly rated on ao3). If this is happening, it is a good idea to go to the website to report it properly, or have someone contact the artist/author about the lack of tagging - the content itself is irregardless, the problem that exists here is the lack of warning.

Nsfw art is also not allowed by the tumblr guidelines; feel free to report it if seen. Please, however, take a step back to remember than an image of a person in their underwear is not, in fact, pornography. If you’ve ever walked past a billboard for a clothing company or seen a Victoria’s Secret catalogue you should know this. There is, in fact, an actual parameter for what sets apart sfw and nsfw.

If this content, however, has been properly tagged and is behind a proper age limit, with warnings and the like, it is not endangering toward minors. Clicking on a nsfw art or writing with clear warnings for what it is does not make the creator of that content responsible; a porn star is not responsible for endangering minors if a minor answers falsely to a website agreement stating they are 18 and views their content. The responsibility lies with the minor as well as the guardians of that minor for not teaching them how to responsibly search the internet and recognize what they should or should not be viewing.

If you are not mature enough to recognize this, you should not be online.

3. But I disagree?

   You are within your rights to have a difference of opinion or feel uncomfortable if a person posts links to their nsfw content, or mentions that they make nsfw content. In fact, nsfw content makes many people uncomfortable. There are many ways to avoid seeing this.

First, go to the filter on your blog and filter all nsfw related tags you can think of, some starting points I would suggest are: nsfw, nsfw tw, nsfw mention, adult content, adult content tw, adult content mention (feel free to keep going, be as thorough as makes you comfortable). Next, block the blogs you do not personally like; feel free to block as many blogs, for any reason, that you like. This is absolutely fine and no explanation is needed. If you feel uncomfortable having your blog followed by any adults at all, you can also take steps to make the blog unsearchable and only follow as few people as you like.

What you should not do is harass people for making content that you personally do not like. This includes nsfw content. Making such incredibly serious claims as to state someone is a predator who endangers minors for making nsfw content in your fandom is unfounded, dangerous, and entirely irresponsible. Adults participating in this rhetoric need to take a very good look at themselves, and minors who have been experiencing anxiety as a result of this claim, I am very sorry.

4. What was the aunt-suki thing?

   Where did this whole thing start? No one was making this point only a few months ago, did it just pop up out of nowhere?

^ this blog, since deleted [also goes formerly by tumble-dump (nowlil-baby-man) as well as jetru(deleted) safe-for-atla, and dennis-quaid] spearheaded this opinion after accusing one of the largest creators in the fandom, an adult poc, of endangering minors for an image posted to tumblr with possible suggestive themes (Tumblr does not allow nsfw art, it was not nsfw). Aunt-Suki is a 23 year old, self-described “titanium white” woman. She stated directly that anyone who posted nsfw content behind age limit barriers was predatory and that nsfw artwork of atla characters was rampant on this website without evidence.

After curating a blocklist, and admittedly receiving hate for doing so (despite oddly enough asking for anon hate on several occasions) aunt-suki did in fact create a first draft blocklist including fandom creators who make nsfw content, who are follow or are friends with those who make nsfw content despite not doing it themselves, and people who specifically asked her to be on the blocklist. This, in itself, was fine. A list of creators making nsfw content could, in fact, be helpful and good for those who do not want to see such content to have a handy resource of who to block and avoid. Unfortunately, the rhetoric of “they are all predators” was something aunt-suki fostered and continued to repeat, getting a lot of people to also feel the same way. This invited harassment, much of which directly done and targeted at others by aunt-suki. She repeatedly stated on her blog ‘I am safe, no one else is unless I say so, in order to keep yourself safe you must ask me who is bad [paraphrase, not direct quote]’ insisting that anyone who wished to know who was a predator on the website had to privately DM her for the information. Aunt-Suki used this to gain followers of minors and to specifically foster friendships with them.

We know this because aunt-suki made a post exposing herself. An anon asked her to defend the way she interacted with minors and she defended herself with phrases such as “I love kids so much more than grown ups”[quote], stating she runs a server of 13+ wlw and they all “care a lot about each other”; she also admitted she takes it upon herself to “expose kids to [heavy topics]” including race, sexism, queer issues, mental health, politics, etc. Aunt-Suki is not a trained professional for these issues and admits in the same post that she does not understand there could be any difference in power dynamics between her and these teenagers.

In addition, while defending these close relationships with minors that she specifically admits to reaching out for, Aunt-Suki also divulged her past at 18 years old of saying the n-word (excused by explaining she has a black friend); saying that this is the reason why she should, as a 23 year old white adult, be allowed to discuss “heavy topics” with minors.

This most certainly calls into question the fact that it was, with one exception, non-white creators that aunt-suki chose to publicly call out by name.

After being asked to defend herself for these actions she admitted to, Aunt-Suki deleted her blog but has continued to go online on her others blogs and discords, dm’ing others and making posts accusing people who called her out of being predators, asking for sympathy, blaming her actions on her adhd, and refusing to answer any of the messages sent to her. Other large creators have made posts about this, very rarely using her name to allow her some anonymity or time to explain her actions which she has not done. She choose instead to send anonymous messages further accusing these creators.

5. Why did you tell me that?

   This directly illustrates the problem with presenting an issue such as nsfw art/writing in the fandom without pointing out why others might disagree with it; and jumping past logic to decry those who don’t agree with extremely serious accusations. Someone with actual ill (or misguided) attentions may take advantage, deliberately isolating minors and portraying themselves as ‘good and safe’ while slowly whittling down who the minors can and cannot follow until no one able to call them out when they are the one participating in actual behavior that is inappropriate to minors.

6. I still don’t agree with the first points.

   That’s fine. Please call out actual predators if you see them. Do not, however, do so without any evidence or for reasons that simply are not, and never would be, considered basis for doing so in any legal or reasonable capacity.

[qsdblogging]

10 More TV Shows You Need To See

This is the second installment of my recommendations of shows for you to add to your own lists. I watch a lot of television and I’ve got, what I consider to be at least, a wide variety of shows under my favorites. 

If you haven’t seen the first list, you don’t need to unless you want to see another list of ten shows you may want to check out if you’re looking for anything new to watch.

Warning, though, some of these don’t end the best way and may end up more as a disappointment. I’ll leave that up to you to decide.

I. Warehouse 13.

Pete and Myka, U.S Secret Service Agents, are deployed to South Dakota’s Warehouse 13 with a new assignment from an authority above and outside the government. 

Intrigued?

With the Warehouse comes assignments regarding objects that hold some sort of abilities that can cause people to do wild and crazy things. It’s their job to find the artifacts (as they all hold significance to history) and bring them back to the Warehouse for safe keeping.

Things get wild and some serious topics get handled, but the show isn’t alone. It’s connected to another on this list, Eureka. More on that when you get to Eureka.

Some familiar faces are Eddie McClintock who played a part in Bones, one episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Joanne Kelly who played a role in The Dresden Files television series, Allison Scagliotti who played roles in Stitchers, The Vampire Diaries, and Drake & Josh, Aaron Ashmore (twin brother to Shawn Ashmore, who has been in the X-Men movies alongside appearing in The Boys, and voicing Conrad in Man of Medan) from Killjoys, Lost Girl, and Smallville, and Jamie Murray from Castelvania, Gotham, The Originals, Once Upon a Time, Defiance, and Dexter.

I highly recommend, especially because the dynamic of the characters is really interesting and covers a lot. 

II. Eureka.

As mentioned above, this is connected to Warehouse 13. But only in the last two seasons of this show are the two connected. 

Eureka is a town full of geniuses and advanced technology that the government funds, and when a new sheriff comes to town, he’s exposed to all the daily occurrences the locals get up to. And maybe a couple instances of time travel that may or may not have to do with the connection.

The town is full of faces you may recognize. Colin Ferguson who has roles in Haven, The Vampire Diaries, and Maytag commercials, Erica Cerra who has roles in The 100, Supernatural, Deadly Class, and the first Percy Jackson film, Felicia Day who has roles in The Magicians, Supernatural, Con Man, The Guild, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Trevor Jackson who has roles in Grown-ish, and a couple Disney productions.

It’s a huge science fiction show and if you’re into that, give it a watch.

III. Alphas.

Now, like the two above is, Alphas is a science fiction packed drama. And it’s rumored to be connected, like be in the same universe, as Warehouse 13 and Eureka. It’s never been confirmed, but there is one character (same name and job) that plays a part in both Alphas and Warehouse 13, which is the stem for the theory. (Plus, some other ideas floating around). 

But Alphas focuses on a team that investigates people with supernatural abilities while they, themselves, have abilities. These powered people are referred to as Alphas, due to their nature.

Unfortunately, this show ends on a cliffhanger in its second season.

Yet, I still recommend giving it a shot because it truly is an interesting show and it’s got some people you may recognize. 

IV. Haven.

If you’re a fan of Stephen King’s “Colorado Kid”, you’ll most likely enjoy this show since it’s loosely based off of it. 

Set in the coastal town of Haven, Maine, FBI Agent Audrey Parker comes to town to find that the residents have dormant curses, or rather troubles, that can be triggered at any given moment. She, along with the Sheriff and the town’s black sheep, must deal with the troubles’ deadly effects. And a few things may be revealed about herself too along the way.

It’s pretty interesting and I enjoyed it quite a lot when I first watched it. I’m not the biggest fan of Stephen King, and the connection seems to barely be there, but I wouldn’t know given my dislike for King. 

I highly recommend giving Haven a shot, however, especially if you’re a crime and fantasy fan. 

V. Lost Girl.

Lost Girl focuses on the gorgeous and charismatic Bo, a supernatural being called a succubus who feeds on the energy of humans, sometimes with fatal results. Refusing to embrace her supernatural clan system and its rigid hierarchy, Bo is a renegade who takes up the fight for the underdog while searching for the truth of her own mysterious origins. (Taken from IMDB). 

Plus, there a lesbian romance or two. 

Now, the show itself is pretty strong holding in its own storyline and lore, but the last season does get a bit rocky feeling. It could’ve been better, and it definitely feels a little rushed, but it wasn’t too bad of an ending. However, it’s not a show that got cancelled before it could wrap things up and it leaves things pretty open-ended.

In my books, that’s a point. I highly recommend this is if you’re a fan of fantasy.

VI. Almost Human.

Unfortunately, this is one of the ones in the list that only has one season (that seems to be out of order and frankly I’m not entirely sure of the order myself, so rely on googling it yourself and hopefully you find the right order) and was cancelled not long after airing. 

BUT, it’s a good watch. It’s set in the distant future, where cops are assigned an android partner to protect and serve. Things get pretty wild and I’m quite sure there are some bombs involved at some point, but there’s a bonus to all the madness of Almost Human.

Minka Kelly and Karl Urban. Two incredibly beautiful human beings.

I highly recommend bingeing this single season show. 

VII. American Gods.

This shows feels very confusing. But it’s still a good watch. 

It centers on a recently released ex-con named Shadow Moon. He runs into a man full of mystery named Wednesday (and you’ll later come to find out who he really is, or you may already know given your knowledge on the book of the same name or just how well you know mythology) who seems to know more than Shadow about his own life and past. 

There are Gods, mischief, and a lot of crazy shit in this show. So far it’s on it’s third season as far as I know (I have to rewatch the first two before I pick it back up).

You should give it a shot, but I won’t blame you if you feel way too confused about the whole thing.

VIII. The Boys.

Now, there’s a lot of controversy regarding this Amazon Original Series, but honestly, I think everyone should at least give it a chance. I know a lot of Tumblr users were put off on trying to due to the advertisements on the site. 

If you don’t know what this series is about, it follows a group of vigilantes set on taking down the corrupt superheroes that are abusing their powers and status.

It covers a lot of ground. Murder, sabotage, terrorism, capitalism, and a lot more. Feminism and sexual harassment occur, but there are warning before each episode for what you may see in the contents.

Some familiar faces include Karl Urban, who’s known for his roles in Thor: Ragnarok, the newer Star Trek movies, Almost Human, Lord of the Rings, and more, Erin Moriarty from Jessica Jones, Laz Alonso from The Mysteries of Laura, Chace Crawford from Gossip Girl and The Covenant, and Jensen Ackles from Supernatural has been confirmed to be joining the cast for its third season.

The Boys is currently on it’s second season, being released on a weekly schedule. So, if you like superheroes and graphic content, this show might be it for you.

IX. Chuck.

Chuck is the result of when a twenty-eight year old computer geek inadvertently downloads critical government secrets into his brain, the C.I.A. and the N.S.A. assign two agents to protect him and exploit the knowledge, turning Chuck Bartowski’s life upside down. (Taken from IMDB).

This is one of the shows I cannot recommend enough to people. It’s the right mixture of action and comedy, plus a little romance. Spies, love, and murder, oh my! What more could you want? 

Plus, Zachery Levi plays Chuck. If you don’t know him by name, you probably would recognize him from some of his roles with the most recent being in Shazam!, Fandral in the second and third Thor films, voicing Eugene Fitzherbert (or Flynn Rider) in Tangled, and Heroes: Reborn. 

If Zachery Levi playing a lovable computer geek turned spy doesn’t interest you, maybe some more familiar faces will. 

Yvonne Strahovski from The Handmaid’s Tale, The Astronaut Wives Club, acting as Daenerys in a Princess Rap Battle on Youtube, and Dexter. Adam Baldwin from Firefly/Serenity, Bones, Angel, The Last Ship, and Independence Day. Brandon Routh who plays Ray Palmer from the DC Shows. Matt Bomer from Doom Patrol, American Horror Story, White Collar, Magic Mike, and True Calling.

X. Deadly Class.

Unfortunately, I have a truly bad streak with new shows. Deadly Class, like others that have been mentioned in these lists of mine, got cancelled and on a cliffhanger no less. However, that shouldn’t stop you from enjoying the action-packed coming-of-age story set in the 1980s. 

Following a new recruit for a high school training assassins, things get pretty wild when you pair death and teenagers. 

[ayamari-no-goshi]

Eidolon 14 | (T)

ff.net | AO3

Fandom: Danny Phantom (DP)

Summary:  AU: What started off as the result of a simple act of rebellion ends up causing his life to spin out of control. How will young Danny cope with the results as well as a past that has a strange habit of coming back to haunt him.

Warnings: rated T for violence, mentions of death, kidnapping, and various other things

Chapter warnings: implied character death. Entrapment

Parings: hints of Danny/Sam much later on

Notes: originally uploaded to Ff.net. Cross-posted to AO3 and tumblr

Chapter 14: History

"Sweetie, could you hand me the socket wrench? I think it's somewhere to your left…" a woman asked as she looked up from the device she was creating to glance at her daughter calmly reading on a worn couch about twenty yards behind her.

The girl being addressed sighed but complied with the request. She moved to a nearby tablet and quickly began searching through various stacks of blueprints of various inventions yet to be invented to find the tool which was possibly lurking underneath. "Mom!" she called out rather sheepishly a few moments later, "which one is it again?"

"It's the silver one that looks like it has a nozzle on the end."

"Well… that's not very specific."

A few moments later, the girl came over to the woman's workbench and produced a few different tools. Chuckling, the woman grabbed the needed tool, placed to others on a nearby table, and thanked her daughter. Quickly, she began tightening a nut needed to keep her project together. It needed to be stable if it was going to do its job.

"Um… what exactly are you making again?" her daughter asked after a few awkward moments of examining the device.

"It's a containment unit to trap ghosts," she explained without missing a beat of her work. "I thought I had mentioned this one to you before."

"Probably, but you know it's hard for me to keep all of your various inventions straight." The girl fell silent and started to head back towards the couch. "Mom…" she called out before she had reached her destination, "If he's just going to destroy your work, why do you continue to make all of these inventions? It's not like they'll help us escape."

Now it was the woman's turn to sigh. She gently put her tools down, pushed her red safety goggles up, and turned towards the younger girl while adopting an understanding expression. "Jazz… I know what I do seems pointless at times… But, if we can manage to either trap or incapacitate Vlad, then maybe we can finally get out of here."

"But Mom, in case you forgot, we need a ghost to get out of here! That maniac put us in a room with no door, no windows, and a ventilation system way too small for a human to even consider using for an escape! Unless you've found a way to safely blast through eight feet of steel enforced concrete, even if you can incapacitate him, what good will it do?

The woman bit her lip at her daughter's words. "It does seem hopeless, but I refuse to give up. We are going to get out of here, somehow. I promise." She gave Jazz a glance conveying the conversation was finished for the moment before turning back to her work.

Dealing with a teenager was difficult on the best of days, but when she was the only completely living person the woman had contact with for the previous thirteen years or so, trying to convey hope was exceedingly she was, Madeline (Maddie) Fenton, ghost hunter and paranormal research extraordinaire trying to convince her daughter they would be able to escape, when she had been utterly trapped and neutralized by a ghost who could disguise itself as a human. If only she had realized such a thing was possible years prior, there was a chance she could have prevented their current predicament and the separation of their family.

The man had seemed nice enough when he had introduced himself to her and her husband, Jack, all those years ago. He had even helped fund their various anti-ghost projects, but it was all a sham. The man had only gotten close to them to keep an eye on their research and any children they might have. She should have seen the warning signs when he brought up that one particular legend, but she, like Jack, just brushed if off as simple curiosity.

But, soon after Maddie became pregnant with her second child, Vlad's interest in their family started to verge on obsessive. It worsened after they found out the gender of the growing child. This, his possession of one particularly old book, and the growing notion he was somehow involved in the raids on the lab by the ghost known as Plasmius had forced her to reconsider Vlad as the person who would look after her children if anything would happen to her and Jack.

About a year after her son was born, the attacks from Plasmius on their research compound and home had gotten much worse, and Vlad's behavior had gotten more eccentric. Worried, she contacted an old friend of hers who had worked with her and Jack in the past and explained the situation to him. He seemed to understand the situation and agreed to her request. Not wasting any time, Maddie sent him a copy of the new will she and Jack created so he could look over it before it was finalized. Unfortunately, she never got the chance.

Plasmius had managed to find a way to get by their security system and enter the main part of the house. Maddie barely had a chance to hide her son before Plasmius knocked her out. When she awoke, she found herself alongside her husband and daughter in what appeared to be a large concrete room with no apparent doors or windows. Little did she know it would become her prison for the next fourteen years.

When Plasmius (who revealed himself to also be Masters) demanded to know where their son was, both she and Jack refused to tell him. He appeared to take it well and left them to their own devices for a couple weeks. During those weeks, the only outside interactions they had were with the ghostly servants who tended to their needs and furnished the room. Maddie still could fondly recall the way Jack tended to attempt to attack the servants on sight.

When Vlad reemerged, he was absolutely livid. Her son had been found where she had hidden him, but the courts had refused to let Vlad anywhere near the child due to the presence of the document her friend held. While surprised the courts ruled it as official, Maddie couldn't help but be pleased. However, Vlad found it as unforgivable and took his rage out on Jack. Maddie still was not entirely sure what happened to her husband after Vlad took him, but Vlad had given her enough hints for her to understand Jack was dead.

After her husband's death, she believed the same fate would befall her and Jazz, but it never came. Vlad had developed somewhat of a liking for both of them and had gone to great lengths to keep them happy and healthy. Her concerns turned to her missing son, who was still outside of Vlad's reach. The boy's new guardian had disappeared from Vlad's sights making the hybrid furious. What Maddie never understood was why the man never used his abilities to overturn the different court orders to gain control of the child or even just kidnap him. The only thing she could fathom was either he could not properly forge signatures or it dealt with his pride as a man, if one could refer to him as such.

After about a year of imprisonment, Maddie devoted herself to three main goals: educating her daughter, escaping, and taking care of Vlad for good. When she wasn't helping Jazz increase her knowledge with the books and materials Vlad had given them, she was working on weaponry which had the potential of fighting off Vlad and his servants (though most of them were relatively harmless). Unfortunately, it seemed as if Vlad had a means of spying on her as he seemed to always know what she was making and would frequently take and/or destroy her work, forcing her to start from scratch. Though it was disheartening, she was not going to give up. From her perspective, getting a handle on Vlad was the only route of a feasible escape.

Though most of her thoughts retained to the protection of her daughter, she would occasionally wonder about her son. She had no knowledge of his life which she supposed was a good thing. The less she heard, the better as it meant Vlad was not making progress. However, there were whispers among the staff involving Vlad's interest in a recent case involving missing documents in a single parent household. Though it was probably no big deal, Maddie had an uneasy feeling every time she thought of it.

…..

An odd noise caught her attention around dinnertime. It almost sounded like a yell. Glancing over at Jazz, Maddie noted her daughter also had heard it. She looked in the direction of the noise just in time to catch someone falling from the ceiling. Unsure who had intruded into their space, she grabbed her newest completed weapon, an ecto-staff (complete with retractable edges), and slowly approached the newcomer. The person lying on the ground appeared young and completely knocked out. But, her assumption was quickly proven wrong as the figure groaned slightly before shakily standing up.

It was a teenage boy, or at least its appearance suggested it was, with startling white hair and a mostly black wardrobe. The white aura around him indicated he was a ghost, but Maddie had never seen a ghost fall such a manner which made her suspicious. Deciding to gain the upper hand in the situation before he could react, she snuck up on him while he was glancing around and stabbed him in the back with her staff, effectively shocking him. Secretly glad her invention worked, she removed the weapon from him back and then used it to slam him into the closest wall.

"Don't move!" Maddie hissed at the boy after shocking him again with the staff. "I don't know why Vlad sent you, but I am not going to let a ghost harm either me or my daughter!"

"Hold on a second!" The ghost's voice was full of fear and confusion as he held up his hands in protection. The echo in his voice made him a little difficult to understand, but it was the same with most ghosts. "I'm not going to hurt you! I didn't even realize you were here!"

Her response was to shock him again. "Nice try, ghost!" she snarled after his screams died down. Most ghosts, no matter how friendly they seemed, lied. It was in their nature to try and trick the living.

"Wh-what are you talking about….? What ghost? I'm… I'm not a ghost!"

Maddie raised an eyebrow as she studied the boy. He seemed genuinely confused; she could see it in his eyes. Was it possible this ghost didn't actually know it was a ghost? No, that was impossible."Oh, and I suppose normal people have unnaturally white hair and glow?" she asked sarcastically trying to force him to admit he was lying.

"Hey, that was something Vlad did to me…!" he retorted indignantly before realization seemed to hit him. "Wait a minute…. I'm glowing?" A frown crossed his features as he examined his hands and noticed the pale light emanating from his body. "Why the hell am I glowing? What was in that drink he gave me?"

She stared at him in amazement. "You didn't even realize…" she muttered to herself as the scientist in her started to emerge. "You're either a good actor or newly formed…" Examining him more, she quickly threw out the notion he was acting. Everything about him, from his body language to the honest surprise in his shockingly green eyes, indicated his expressions were genuine. But, ghosts weren't supposed to be able to be so expressive, unless they were newly formed as they still had some recollection of their human life. If he was newly formed, it represented such a great possibility! "Hmm… I've never gotten to study a newly formed ghost before…"

The boy seemed to understand her intensions and immediately tried to scoot away from her. Fascinating! Didn't he realize he could just phase through the wall? "Look, I really didn't mean to bother you!" he told her quickly as he glanced around for an escape route. "I really want to leave as much as you seem to want me to. So… if you could please just show me where the door is, I'll be out of your hair."

Maddie didn't answer him immediately which caused him to cringe. She was far too interested in his physiology. After powering down her staff, she placed the end of her staff to lift the boy's chin. "Fascinating! Your body structure is incredibly similar to that of a human's, and you clearly still think like one." It was true. He was the most human-looking ghost she had ever seen. If it wasn't for the white hair and glow, he would look exactly like a normal teenager. Even his skin color could pass as a human's. Normally, the closest a ghost got was a sickly pale white, but this kid was actually tan. Maybe his appearance would become more ghost-like as he got older.

"'Think'? What's with this think business? I am human!"

She was about to retort when her daughter suddenly pushed her aside. "You're scaring him!" she scolded before turning towards the boy and extended her hand. "Here, I'll help you up. By the way, my name is Jazz."

The ghost looked at Jazz warily before accepting the hand. "I'm Danny," he told her with a smile as she pulled him to his feet. Maddie was surprised how easily the ghost was able to interact with her daughter. Though most ghosts could interact with the physical world, it tended to take some effort. They boy seemed to have no problems whatsoever. Maybe it was another particularity of such a young ghost. "And… I … uh, didn't mean to come in here, I promise. I was just trying to get away from Vlad…" He coughed awkwardly for a moment before he looked around. "Um, where exactly am I anyways?"

Jazz was obviously amused by his response. After patting his shoulder, she led him towards her favorite couch, an old and patched gray thing she refused to let Vlad replace. "Let's exchange information. You're obviously confused by this just as much as we are."

Maddie watched the interaction with a wary eye. While she wasn't too keen on letting the ghost get close to her daughter, it didn't seem like it was hostile. Maybe hostility was another trait which was age dependent. No matter the reason, it was still a great opportunity to study the boy. It also gave another possibility; he could have some information on Vlad she could use. So, observing was her best course of action, for now.

…

"And I thought my situation was bad!" Danny remarked after he listened to Jazz explain their situation. He leaned back, allowing himself to rest his head on the back of the couch. "I can't imagine being trapped in a place like this for so long. And there isn't any way to escape?"

Jazz shook her head. "Trust me; we've looked over this place hundreds of times with no luck."

A frowned crossed Danny's face as he considered it. "It's just like the room he had me in… except it at least had a door. Man, that guy really is a fruitloop. Why has he kept you here for so long?"

"He hasn't exactly privileged us with that information," Maddie sniffed as she stared at the ghost. While he didn't seem like a threat, she still wasn't sure he wasn't under Vlad's control. "I'm surprised he hasn't told you."

"I keep telling you I have nothing do with that guy! Not only did he kidnap me and give me this weird stuff, but Winston told me he's the one who attacked my family!"

"Hey…" Jazz quickly interrupted noticing Maddie was starting to get irritated. She inwardly smiled at her daughter; Jazz was really good at reading her mood. "You've mentioned this drink Vlad gave you a couple times now… What exactly was it?"

"Not sure…" he replied with a frown. "I was trying to break down the door to that room I was in when he came in and somehow managed to be in two places at the same time. One of the Vlads held me still while the other forced this nasty tasting green glowing stuff down my throat. Next thing I know, I'm sick to my stomach and in a lot of pain." He grimaced and grabbed his arms as he recalled the event. "After I woke up… Vlad came in and started talking about this curse before dragging me in front of a really big mirror. After catching a glimpse of my appearance, I freaked out, ran for my life, and tripped over my own feet. Next thing I know, I'm in a strange room being stabbed by that staff." He glared at Maddie. "What exactly did you do to it to make to shock people like that?"

"Hold on a moment… you 'caught a glimpse of your appearance'?" Jazz paraphrased slowly. "So, you're implying you didn't look like you currently do before getting here?"

"Yes! What's so hard to understand about that?" Danny's voice was full of frustration. "I don't know why Vlad changed my clothes and hair color. Where does that guy get off dying someone's black hair white? It's going to take forever to get all of this bleach out…"

Maddie shared a look with her daughter as Danny examined one of the snowy locks near his face. He really didn't seem to understand exactly what had happened to him, and he certainly didn't seem to realize he was no longer human. He was even sitting perfectly on the worn out couch like a regular person. Normally, even when sitting, ghosts tended to float above the piece of furniture instead of touching it.

But, there was a bigger implication to the ghost's words. He was suggesting he was still alive when Vlad had gotten a hold of him. If Vlad had indeed killed the boy than how many of the other spirits they had encountered through the years had met their fate in the same way?

"So… Danny," Jazz stated suddenly in an attempt to change the subject, "how old are you?"

He frowned for a moment before he rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Hmm… that is a good question. Since I'm not exactly sure how long I've been here, I'm not sure if my birthday's passed. If it has, I'm fifteen now."

Maddie had to turn away for a moment after listening to the boy. Usually she was unaffected by the words of a ghost, but this one was different. He was approximately the same age as her missing son. Had he been taken away from his family like hers had been? At least she was still alive and would eventually be able to try and reconnect with the boy when she eventually escaped. This child would never get the same chance.

…...

About an hour had gone by since Danny had fallen through the ceiling. While the boy was proving to be surprisingly good company, Maddie was surprised no one else had visited them as dinner time had passed. Suspicious, but not overly alarmed, she turned her attention back towards the boy.

Though Danny had initially come across as shy, he was actually rather talkative and had a good sense of humor. Even she was warming up to him, though she wasn't going to admit it. She did allow herself to politely offer him a drink from the small fridge Vlad had given them in an attempt to play hostess. Amazingly, he drank it with no apparent problem. Ghosts weren't supposed to be able to handle human foods, but perhaps since he was so young he still had something of a human constitution. She was going to have to ask the boy to allow her to study him more in depth.

While the boy was telling a joke, he suddenly gasped and shivered. "Danny… are you okay…?" Jazz asked him hesitantly as she touched his shoulder. A small gasp escaped her as she watched a faint mist form from his breath before disappearing. How peculiar. Ghosts shouldn't be able to breathe, and it certainly wasn't cold enough in the room for it to be visible.

"Someone's coming…" Danny stated as he stood up and looked at the ceiling. His breath misted again as he spoke.

Maddie looked at him curiously. "What do you mean? Are you telling me you can sense other ghosts?"

"I… I don't know… But I think it's Vlad… Great… just what I need right now…"

"Are you sure?" If this boy was telling the truth, he presented an interesting possibility. This was the first time she had ever heard of such a power.

Danny wasn't able to give an answer before Vlad phased through the ceiling in about the area where he had been staring. The man looked agitated as he glanced around the room before allowing his gaze to focus on her and the two teenagers. A smile graced his lips as he floated down to their level.

"Ah, Maddie, Jasmine, you look wonderful today," he told them as a form of a greeting. "I do hope you forgive me for dinner being late today. A certain someone disappeared, and it's been a mess trying to find him." His attentions turned towards Danny, who hesitantly backed away. "My dear boy, how did you ever manage to end up down here?"

When Danny didn't answer, Vlad rubbed his eyes and continued to talk. "Though I had planned on introducing you to the girls eventually, I was hoping you would have a much better grasp of your powers before then. No matter… In fact, this may actually work to my advantage." He glanced at back at Maddie and gave a strange smile. "So, my dear, do you recognize him? I've heard a mother will always have some sort of recognition when she encounters a child she hasn't seen in years."

Maddie narrowed her eyes at the strange comment. "What are you talking about?" She glanced to her side to check where her staff was. Drat! Why didn't she grab it when it Vlad entered the room?

"Oh, how silly of me," he said as he placed his hand over his face in feigned embarrassment. "It would be much harder to recognize him in this form. Come here, Daniel."

The boy shook his head and continued to move away. "No way! I'm not letting a sicko like you come anywhere near me again."

"When will you learn you are in no position to argue?" Vlad's tone was rather resigned as he tiredly made three duplicates of himself.

As Danny kept switching his glance between the different Vlads in a terrified manner, Maddie snuck over and grabbed her staff. She kept her movements as quiet as possible until she noticed the clones were about make a move to grab the boy. "Danny, run!" she shouted as she attacked what she believed to be the original with her staff.

"You'll regret that, woman!" the hybrid snarled as he and two of the clones turned their attention to her.

One of them shot a beam of pink ecto-energy while another disappeared. She easily blocked it with her staff, as most ecto-infused weapons could deflect such attacks, before using it to stab the air behind her. A grunt of pain told her she had hit her mark; Vlad could be so predictable some times. Bringing the bottom of the staff up from the ground, she nailed the ghost in the chin to giving him an injury somewhat comparable to that of an upper cut. She then flipped the staff to use the momentum to bring it horizontally and nail him again in the face. A satisfying crash told her he was down for the moment. One down, three more to go.

She quickly jumped back as another blast was sent her way. As soon as she landed, she had to lean back as the other Vlad involved in her fight swung a right hook at her. Recovering before he could, she swung the bottom of her staff up towards her so she could circle it and hit him. The ghost tried to turn intangible before it hit, but the ecto-energy within the staff still sent a painful shockwave through him. Bringing the bottom of the staff up, she switched the position of her hands to allow her to bring the tip down on the top of his head. Sensing the approach of another clone from behind her, she thrust the staff backwards,hitting the him, before sliding it back forwards to once again hit her previous opponent.

Quickly adjusting her hands again, she swung the staff around, much like an overly large baseball bat, catching both of her opponents as the move caused her to crouch. Bringing the rear end of the staff to the floor, she slid the tip out until it was resting under the opponent behind her as she turned around. Standing, she shifted positions and brought the end of the staff right between Vlad's knees. She could hear him slump to the floor as she turned her attention back towards the other one. Somewhere on her right, she could see the Vlad she hit earlier getting up from the floor.

The frustrating thing about ghosts was their incredible resilience. While they could be damaged with the proper weapon, they were easily able to recover if given the time. Though Vlad was somehow only half ghost, he still possessed the annoying trait making him a difficult opponent, even if she was the better fighter. And, he was an expert at distractions.

A yell somewhere to her side caught her attention. The one Vlad which had gone after Danny had finally gotten a hold of him. Vlad was trying to say something when an irritated, "Get away from him!" was shouted followed by a heavy book being thrown. Though the book easily passed through Vlad, he did give Jazz a rather irritated look.

"I would stay out of this if I were you, girl," he retorted as he raised his hand towards her. Pink energy circle the outstretched hand as he kept the other firmly attached to Danny's shirt.

"You leave my daughter alone!" Maddie shouted as she started to charge towards the fourth Vlad. Her movements were cut short as she was grabbed from behind by several hands. She struggled only to find she was effectively stuck and at least a few inches from the ground.

"Just sit back and watch the show," one of the Vlads hissed in her ear. "Struggling won't get you out of this mess."

"Now that all of the distractions are gone…" the Vlad holding Danny looked over the terrified boy rather carefully. "You've caused quite a lot of trouble today… I would be more careful in the future. You wouldn't want the people who care about you to get hurt, would you?"

Danny was barely able to mumble an answer when Vlad started sending shocks through his body. Maddie watched in horror as the boy screamed as he started to convulse. After an agonizing moment, Vlad stopped the shocks and held the limp boy by the arm seemingly waiting for something. After a moment, a dazzling blue-white ring appeared from Danny's waist. It quickly spilt in two; each half traveling along both halves of his body. When the lights died down, a completely different boy was dangling from Vlad's grasp. This one had pitch black hair and lighter skin. Even the outfit was different.

Apparently satisfied, the solitary Vlad glanced at Maddie and held up the seemingly unconscious boy. "Maddie, meet your long lost son, Daniel Fenton." He then flung the boy onto the gray couch. As he did so, the other Vlads let go of Maddie and were absorbed back into the other one. "As you can see, he has come into his birthright… though he doesn't look anything like what either of us were expecting. But, I'm not overly bothered. There are things I must prepare for him, so until I return, look after him. I dare say you should welcome this as a great time to bond with him. Ta!" With a mocking grin, he floated up towards the ceiling and disappeared.

Maddie, though no longer trapped by the ghost, was unable to move as she stared at the boy on the couch. This child… this ghost, was really her son? But how…?

She collapsed to the floor and tried to hold back her tears. She had tried to prevent this! Vlad wasn't supposed to get a hold of him! And Danny… poor Danny, she and Jack had done research to try and prevent him from becoming like Vlad, but it had all been for naught. She should have known better than to try and fight fate. But, how was she going to live with herself when the sweet boy from before became the monster from her nightmares?

=== End of chapter notes:

It was actually pretty fun to write Maddie's fight scene. I've actually taken Kung Fu in the past and was fortunate enough to learn some staff forms. With my staff currently sitting in the living room (where I usually tend to do my writing), I was able to grab it and fool around with different movements and forms to try and get a semi-realistic fight going in my mind. But, staff movements aren't easy to describe. There aren't a lot of technical terms and you can't swing them sideways without picking them up in certain ways. The circling I describe is in reference to switching staff positions/forms. Note, when you learn how to work with a staff, it's usually taller than you are.

Vlad is a master manipulator, strategist, and can fight, but knowing he tends to let others do his work, I'm fairly certain Maddie would be able to take him in a real fight if he didn't get a chance to plan it out. Sure, Maddie could have gained the upper hand on him a while ago, but that's exactly why he takes away her weapons. The staff escaped due to the ends being retractable allowing it to be stored in odd places. Yes, I thought about this.

[mulanxiaojie]

Chinese article on their observation of how much more popular Mulan is in the West than in China.

Date:  2018-08-17

<Translation>

How popular is "Mulan" in the eyes of foreigners? More so than in China.

When you mention Hua Mulan, I believe every Chinese person will have an impression that is more or less the same. Even if you were not forced to learn the original ballad, you should have at least heard the story of Mulan taking her father’s place in the army.

But this is a well-known heroine in China. After flying across the sea to the United States and Europe, it immediately became foreign, and it seemed to become more popular than in China. Don't believe me?

Last week, Disney released a new trailer for the latest animation "Ralph Breaks the Internet", along with a group photo of Disney girls:

These are all characters in the "Disney Princess" series. In addition to the characters in the animated movies that we are familiar with in recent years, the girl with black hair and yellow skin on the right is the focus of this image. She is the Mulan designed by Disney animators.

If you want to use the "ranking theory" commonly used by the Chinese people to analyze things, Mulan is sitting firmly in the top three.

To know that compared to the few girls who have been in the public eye in recent years, Mulan's last appearance in Disney's animation has to be traced back to "Mulan 2" in 2004. For Chinese audiences, the 1998 movie "Mulan" is more familiar. This classic animation movie on IMDB scored 7.6, Rotten Tomato freshness was 86%, and it won the Oscar and Golden Globe Awards. Nominated, US $304 million at the global box office.

As the image of Hua Mulan created by Disney is very different from the image of the traditional Mulan military story, it has become a girl who is very in line with the aesthetics of Europeans and Americans. I have to say that she may have become one of the most influential Chinese stories in the hearts of foreigners.

There is strong evidence to prove this argument. Soon after this new Wreck It Ralph image was published, foreign netizens were immediately inspired and enthusiastically created fan art for Mulan.

This is the result of searching for "mulan" on Tumblr. The top pictures are all over 30,000 notes. The creation time was after the image was released by Disney, and the Mulan in each picture was almost all wearing the same modern day casual outfit. The red sports jacket with two dragons printed on the chest.

Let’s look at a few examples:

Yellow skin, black hair, black eyes, red jacket with a dragon pattern, lantern symbolizing Chinese culture, and as for the action...It is a bit like a Jackie Chan action movie. These may be foreigners' first perception of Chinese culture. By the way, this picture is the one with the highest praise for Mulan found on Tumblr.

get off the roof !!! Image source: Sacin @Tumblr

In all these creations, the themes are generally divided into three categories: One is a re-creation of an original Mulan image of two Disney animations, and the other two have nothing to do with the movie, but one reflects "Chinese Kung Fu", and the other reflects everyday life.

Such as:

Image source: jayessart @ Tumblr

This one has a bit of "A Chinese Odyssey" flavor:

Image source: giadin-a @ Tumblr

Generally speaking, most of the fan art are street style, but these have a very thick American flavor, which is far from the usual image of Mulan in our minds, let alone the princess or the army. I thought it was an Asian or foreign student:

Image source: kaleydoskope @ Tumblr

Image source: Cecile @ Twitter

Image source: C A M @ Twitter

If you are tired of this sort, you can also change the style of art:

Image source: hieu @ Twitter

Image source: M.Y@Twitter

Image source: txuun @ Twitter

Do you see anything in common from these fan arts? Converse shoes and sports team jackets are the champions...

Some people may be curious to know what sorcery makes Hua Mulan so popular with foreign audiences. This may be due to many factors.

Objectively speaking, she is part of an Oriental culture, and Chinese Kung Fu naturally attracts them.

Secondly, the story of Hua Mulan's father joining the army fits the consistent Western woman's belief of pursuing independence and equal rights. In this regard, when Disney interpreted this story, they made a lot of changes in order to be more in line with European and American thinking. They abandoned some traditional Chinese cultural meaning, which also made her shift away from her original appearance in Chinese ancient books, but more popular with Western audiences.

In addition, Disney's success in art design is also obvious. This Asian face of Mulan may not be associated with us when we recite "The Ballad of Mulan", but it really caters to the aesthetic taste of Westerners towards East Asian faces. This also provides a good basis for fan creations.

If you have to find some more reasons for the above points, the poster and the fans may just catch up with Liu Yifei in the live-action "Mulan" movie. Regardless of whether we think that Liu Yifei is suitable or inappropriate of the role, from the foreigners' comments and the number of likes or forwarding, we can almost see that most of them think "This is absolutely reliable!"

So, do you now know how popular Mulan is abroad?

Original text:

说到花木兰，相信每个国人心中都会有一个差不太多的形象，即使没被逼着背过《木兰诗》的的，起码也应该听过花木兰代父从军的故事吧。

可就是这样一个在中国家喻户晓的形象，飘扬过海来到欧美之后，立马变得洋气了起来，而且看起来比在国内人气还要高。不信吗？

上周，迪士尼公布了最新动画《无敌破坏王2：大闹互联网》的新预告，一同放出的还有一张迪士尼旗下的姑娘们的合影：

这几位都是“迪士尼公主”系列中的人物。除了那些个我们近些年比较熟悉的动画电影中角色之外，右边这位黑头发黄皮肤的姑娘才是这幅画的重点，她就是迪士尼画师们笔下的花木兰。

如果要用国人常用的“排座次理论”来分析的话，花木兰可是稳坐前三把交椅啊。

要知道相比近些年上过镜的几位姑娘，花木兰上一次在迪士尼的动画里露面还要追溯到2004年的《花木兰2》。而对于中国观众来讲，更熟悉的还是1998年的电影《花木兰》，这部堪称经典的动画电影IMDB评分7.6，烂番茄新鲜度86%，还拿下了当年的奥斯卡和金球奖提名，全球票房3.04亿美元。

虽然迪士尼笔下的花木兰形象，已经与传统的木兰从军故事中的形象大相径庭，变成了一个非常符合欧美人审美的姑娘。不得不说，她可能已经成为了老外心中最有影响力的中国故事之一了。

证明这个论点还有一个有力的证据，就在这张新海报公布不久，国外网友们便立刻被激发出了为花木兰创作同人图的热情。

这是在Tumblr上搜索“mulan”时得到的结果，排名靠前的几张图热度都在3万以上，创作时间都是在迪士尼公布那张海报之后，而且这里面的木兰几乎全穿着海报里那张胸前印有两条龙的红色运动夹克。

挑几张有代表性的看看：

黄皮肤，黑头发，黑眼睛，印有龙图案的红色夹克，象征中国文化的灯笼，至于动作嘛……也有点成龙动作电影里的味道，这些可能都是老外对于中国文化的第一直觉吧。顺嘴说一句，这张图在Tumblr上是搜索到有关木兰点赞最高的一张。

get off the roof!!!（我从屋顶上下来了！！！）图片来源：Sacin @Tumblr

在所有的这些创作中，主题一般分为三类，一类是原版两部迪士尼动画的木兰形象的再创作，另外两类则跟电影没什么关系，其中一种体现了“中国功夫”，一种则是走日常路线。

比如：

图片来源：jayessart@Tumblr

这个动作越看越有点《大话西游》里面至尊宝的味道：

图片来源：giadin-a@Tumblr

日常路线的话，大部分同人图都是街头风，可是这样看起来一股浓浓的美式审美味，跟我们脑中惯常的花木兰形象相差甚远，别说公主或者从军了，猛一看还以为是某个亚裔或者留学生：

图片来源：kaleydoskope@Tumblr

图片来源：Cecile@Twitter

图片来源：C A M@Twitter

看腻了的话，还可以换一种画风：

图片来源：hieu@Twitter

图片来源：M.Y@Twitter

图片来源：txuun@Twitter

从这些画里，你有没有发现什么共同点？匡威鞋和电竞战队夹克恐成最大赢家啊……

看到这里可能会有人比较好奇，花木兰这个形象究竟有何种魔力能够这么受国外观众们欢迎呢？这其中可能包含多方面的因素，从客观来说自然是东方文化，中国功夫对他们有着天然的吸引力。

其次，花木兰替父从军的故事或许���好契合了欧美一贯的女性追求独立，平等的权利意识。在这方面，迪士尼翻拍这个故事的时，为了能更符合欧美人的思维方式做了不少改动，抛弃了一部分中国传统文化的含义，这也让她逐渐远离了她在中国古籍中原本的模样，但却更受欧美观众喜欢。

除此之外，迪士尼在美术设计方面上的成功也是显而易见的。花木兰这张亚裔面孔，或许我们在背《木兰诗》时候根本没法联想在一起，但却实打实的迎合了欧美人对亚洲面孔的审美口味。这也给粉丝们的二次创作提供了很好的基础。

如果非要以上这几点上再找点理由的话，海报和同人这事儿或许正好赶上了刘亦菲出演真人版《花木兰》电影的茬儿。别管咱们觉得刘亦菲合适不合适，从老外的这些言论，和转发点赞数里就能差不多看出来，他们大部分人觉得“这事儿，绝对靠谱！”

所以说，你现在知道花木兰在国外有多火了吗？

[lunagalemaster]

I’m super surprised I haven’t seen anything about it on my dash. Usually when Tumblr changes or messed us, there’s an avalanche of people talking about the specificity of it, but for some reason, my dash is quiet, so I guess I’ll make a post.

Tumblr’s trending tab has broken. Or, if it’s not broken, they changed it. Usually tumblr’s trending tab is worldwide. Whatever people are talking about, it will show the top results. However, within the last week (today being August 26 2019), the trending tab has only been relative to what you personally talk about.

(Btw it’s like this on desktop too, but it’s easier to show on mobile.)

These are the things I’ve been searching about or use a bunch of tags for. I started searching Spider-Man after the Sony deal and trending after my trending tags started looking fishy. Both of which appeared in my trendings after I looked them up despite the fact that if they were trending, they should have appeared earlier. And as much as I like YGO, the fact it has two tags is sus af.

You know, most tumblr changes have been real bad, but at least I knew about them. The change in background color, the porn ban, and so on. However, the closest equivalent to what’s happening now is the weird thing where no links appear in the tags. And even THEN people have talked about it.

Maybe it’s because I just recently joined a smaller fandom or because making it personal trends just for against any point of the trending tag, but I really hate this change. I know plenty of people who learned of what’s going on in communities and the world through the trending tag. Heck, I know so many people joined fandoms because they were curious about what these new things that started trending out of nowhere were. I don’t know what’s going on, but making “trending” like this defeats its entire purpose. I don’t care if something I like is being talked more than others; I can look things up on my own. With how the trending has changed, it gives no new information to tumblr’s user base and it hides what people are actually talking about. It’s like tumblr wants to keep you in your own little bubble and dash and idk. It’s a weird change and something that doesn’t do anything but keep people from being aware of what’s going on.

There’s a recommended tab for a reason. Don’t turn the trending tag into one staff.

Edit: Thank you @mobilesickness​ and @inquisitivemoth​ for replying with the information!!!

Apparently staff is testing a new feature on a selected few tumblrs. This is why not everyone is talking about it and why there hasn’t been an official announcements. While I’m glad it’s not a huge thing, I still hope it’s fixed soon. Thank you again you two <3

[unpretentiousblogging]

My first suicide note

Don’t worry, this isn’t THE note, merely me reminiscing about what WAS my first note. And anyway, starting my actual suicide note with ‘first’ would be extremely stupid and already declaring defeat...which is ironic, since, you know, suicide is declaring defeat from life in general. 

Oh god. I do this a lot. Use poor humour to deflect from my obviously concerning thoughts. But anyway, it’s fine.Back to topic. (side note; there was no humour in my first suicide note. Hmm. Maybe I should incorporate that in the next one...joke. Maybe.Hopefully. Idk)

Anyway, first suicide note. Ah yes. I was fifteen.It was..2014? I don’t really remember much of it or the details surrounding that year. Just that it was angry and sad and vengeful and full of so much...hurt.Against everyone.My friends.My enemies. My mother. 

Ah. My mother. A recurring character in every suicide note I’ve ever written. It’s not her fault. She is not per say a bad person. But more on that later. This isn’t about her. This is about my suicide note and how it ended up being the first one.

A lot had been leading up to it. I should probably avoid saying the work depressed since I wasn't clinically diagnosed, but a bitch isn’t dumb. Or I mean, she is. But not in this case. You know when you spend the better part of two months not talking to anyone and experience the crushing pressure of this giant, pressing hollowness gnawing-ness that stays there no matter what you do, that THAT isn’t normal. Or at least, it wasn’t to me.

Tbh, I don’t understand much of it. That feeling. What caused it. Why it became such a significant part of my being. I was just in a negative head space. I had suddenly become hyper aware of the farce in everyone’s interaction with me. I detested that I couldn’t study what I wanted to. I had just...a lot going on. 

And also, truthfully, I think I had been using too much Tumblr. I would see this constant downpour of emaciated, beautiful girls talking about sadness as skinny white boys with cigarettes dangling from the corner of their mouths would tenderly hold them and I guess I internalised that this was what it took to be loved and also all that life had to offer.

Love. What a funny thing I chase after.So uninterested but also so extremely curious. Sigh.

Also, funny how the very platform that propelled me into the state I was then, is what I have chosen to come back to while meandering somewhere similar to that state. Not really funny,but what did I say..force of habbit. 

Anyway, back to story. I was sad.Really sad. And angry. And the final straw was the fight with my mom. I don’t remember what it was about. Not important. Just that I realised that I didn’t want my life anymore. Any life for that matter.

So, how does a 15 year old, kill herself? Or well, try to. Because, suuurprise. It obviously didn’t work. I didn’t die. (yet) Or I wouldn’t be ‘’killing time’’ (haha) by writing this.

Well,didn’t own a gun.not smart enough to figure out how strangulation worked.House not tall enough for free falling from roof to cause desired effect. Too much of a wimp to cut veins.

The only other logical explanation was to ingest some poison. Painless. Bound to achieve results without risking grotesquely convulsing my appearance in the way that free falling or burning would do should the fail to work.

Now, we didn’t have any poison lying around the house but I remember how popularised the video of the Amanda Todd suicide was and how she mentioned drinking bleach to kill herself. So, my manic self rushed to the bathroom in search for my poison.

Unfortunately, I could find no bleach. So,I reached out for the next best thing. This anti acne product I had bought from Shams recently. It was pretty expensive and barely used but since I was going to die anyway,what was the point of me being careful with this overpriced bottle of skin care.

Yes, I decided to die by gulping down a bottle of a beautification product for my skin. Not only is that highly improbable but I think about it and snicker at the fact that is basically a twist on the whole ‘eat makeup to become prettier on the inside’ joke. I was basically annihilating all the blemishes on my inside by ingesting that bottle of toner. Pretty funny, if you think about it. Or just me?

To be fair, at the time, I didn’t think it was. I legitimately thought I was going to die.With my eyes sputtering out a tsunami of tears,I guzzled the colourless liquid from the transparent bottle and drank till there was only around 20 percent left. 

The whole thing rushing down my windpipe in one giant gulp. The second I was done with this I started freaking out. My throat burned and I felt this warm, icky wave of nausea steadily creep up on me.

You see, I stupidly didn’t wager that it would take so long.My juvenile brain had been expecting the job to be done quick and painlessly. This was neither and now my paranoid brain started whizzing like an unstoppable slot machine. I started panicking, remembering this post I had read online by this guy who recounted how his failed attempt at ingesting pills for suicide resulted in a highly painful stomach pumping experience and a life time of painful and uncomfortable digestion. I wasn’t prepared for that.I couldn’t not die and also end up with more issues on top of the ones I already did.

In a mad rush against time, I scrambled to get my phone and performed a quick Google search-what to do if you eat poison. The most frequently suggestions were to call poison control and to induce vomiting. Since, I couldn't really do the first one, I made way to the toilet and thankfully to my minor stint with bulimia (and they said eating disorders aren’t useful, pfft) , I knew exactly how to do the latter. Quickly, I shoved my fingers down my throat and attempted to force my alimentary canal to defy gravity. I alternated between this and ramming my toothbrush down my mouth and lo and behold, spurts of translucent chemical gush forth from my mouth like a faulty tap. 

At this point, I had progressed to full blown sobbing. I wasn’t able to successfully eliminate all the toxic liquid from my body and the purge had just resulted with me hiccuping incessantly and my stomach gurgling uncontrollably. Also, my mouth had a horrible aftertaste. Overall, I felt repulsive and sick and also glaringly aware of my soon to be (in my head) death.

In my misery studded mind, I made peace with my fate and decided that were I to to die, I had to make sure I hurt everyone who ever hurt me just as much as. I wanted them to feel guilty. Afterall, my death couldn’t just end with a bunch of people feeling sorry for me and the people who had done me wrong to not experience any of the anguish I had. So, I put pen to paper and began to scribble on an old English paper-my first suicide letter.

At the time, I didn’t know it was to be my first, of course. I thought it was my one and only. I dedicated this atrocious piece of writing to virtually everyone who meant anything to me in my life. Ex best friend? Obviously mentioned. Brother? Definitely to blame. Friend who cared but not enough? Special shout out.

But the star of the show, the main dedication of the bitterness fuelled literary rampage was  one person-my lovely mother. Like I said, not a bad person.  But just not compatible with me, to put it nicely. Anyway, the body of this letter revolved around her and how all the events of my interactions with her had materialised into this blame. If any one was to be guilt ridden after this entire ordeal, I wanted to make sure that it was her. 

Everyone else got a few sentences or a paragraph, but my mom, well she got pages and pages of my teen angst and venom against her. In fact, the opening of this abysmal note started off with something like, ‘’In case I don’t wake up tomorrow’’ (I wasn’t sure how effective the ‘’poison’’ would be. In hindsight, not at all), ‘’ you (mother) should know that YOU are to blame for all of this’’.

Pretty dramatic, am I right? Anyway, I don’t really remember more of what happened in the note, but basically, you get the idea of how it went, ok? 

So, yeah, after penning that intense piece of literature, I willed myself to go to sleep and hopefully die painlessly in my slumber. Or not. I wasn’t sure at this point whether I wanted to survive or not. Probably the most anxious sleep I was getting. After all, I didn’t know whether I was going to wake up the next morning or not.

Spoiler alert: I did. With relief.

And I tore up the note immediately. I think my mother had already read some of it but I am not sure if I remember entirely. I recall sitting in the car with her as she drove and a passing mention was made of it and all I said was that I had written a story in my notebook. And that was it. Did she believe me? Or did she simply not care enough? Or maybe her brain could not even begin to register that I was capable of performing such an abominable task. I don’t know. I wonder though, if she ever stays up at night wondering about what it meant. What any of it was.

I’m pretty sure she doesn’t even remember. I do. 

And that, brings to a complete, the pointless rambling of me and my first suicide note. 

good bye.

(we’ve reached the end. im not gonna go kill myself...right now. lol. maybe/ ok bye)

[marvel-lously]

Cartoons

Words: 1100

Pairing: avengers x reader

Warnings: none

A/N: As promised, I am now finally posting the requested fic. I’m so sorry I haven’t written anything recently. I find myself often preoccupied, and even when I do have time, my mind is filled with hundreds of ideas that I just can’t seem to put into words. I promise I will try to write more. Please reblog if you like this.

This was the request:

Can you do a avengers x reader where the reader voiced a bunch of cartoon characters and the avengers don't know. So one day, they are playing a game together which is you get a card and it says any cartoon characters name and they have to a impersonation of that character and the avengers have to guess and when reader gets a charachter that she voiced and avengers are comfused why she sounds so much like the character? P.s. she's an avenger

P.S. I´m posting this again because I´ve noticed that it didn´t appear in the search results before. I´m so sorry, I don´t know why tumblr is messing it up again.

Taggs: @supersoldierfreak @mandatheredpanda @ryleighisapanda@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @angeliceverything@itsbuckysworld @thats-so-bucky @hufflebucky 

“Okay, okay… my turn.” Wanda happily chimed as she already stretched out her hand to grab the next card.

She coughed before she stood up confidently, starting to swiftly dance around the room and sing.

“Let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back any more-“ she nearly tripped on the chair behind her, nevertheless continuing to sing completely off tune, yet still at the top of her lungs “-let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door. Here I stand and here I stay. Let the storm rage on. Cold never bothered me anyway.” She finished her performance by swinging her hand just like Elsa did in the movie.

You and the entire team started applauding her. »What an astounding performance Ms. Maximoff« Tony joked.

»Thank you, I live to entertain.« Wanda grinned and bowed mockingly.

You were playing a game where you picked a card with one of the famous Disney character’s name on it and you had to impersonate that character. Whoever made the best impression, got to choose one of the other’s most prized possession and keep them for one day.

»Who wants to try next?« Nat claped her hands giddily, excitment clear in her voice.

»I’ll go!« Sam snickered before he started his impersonating. He leaned back, standing in what seemed to be the most unstable position one could master then started talking as if he had had at least five bottles of rum that day.

»Crazy people don’t know the’re crazy. I know I’m crazy therefore I’m not crazy. Isnt that crazy?« He slurred his words as much as he could, waving his hands frantically in the air.

The entire room burst out laughing, clapping and whistling while Sam stil continued on with the show. »Did everyone see that? ‘Cause I will not be doing it again.« After finishing that line, he too, took a bow and laughed along.

»A striking act of Jack Sparrow indeed.« Tony continued to narrate.

»Captain Jack Sparrow.« The entire team shouted at once.

»I want to go next.« Rhodey cleared his throat before doing his impersonation of Donald Duck. He was surprisingly good at it too.

Then next went Scott, impersonating Minnie Mouse.

»You know, it’s scary how your voice can reach such high octaves you know?« Bucky teased.

»Hey, sometimes having to entertain your daughter while being on house arrest can be challanging, you have no idea to what extents I had to go, learning how to talk like somebody’s squeezing my balls just so I could do the princesses’ voices when reading a story isn’t even half of it, but hey, it comes in handy at moments like this.« He chuckled.

»Okay Y/n, wanna go next?« Steve asked, seeing as it was only the two of you left, who hadn’t ˝performed˝yet.

»Sure.« You smiled, pulling the card off the deck. This one was going to be easy, you had done it a hundred times before. You cleared your throat and took a deep breath in before words just naturally rolled off your tongue.

»I gave my mum a cake, she turned into a big bear, my own dad tried to do her in, if that’s not pure mess i don’t know what is!« You finished off by plopping dramatically back into your seat on the sofa. However, there was no applause or whistles after that, only a bunch of shocked faces and wide open mouths.

»How… how did you do that?« Wanda asked, a curious tone coloring her words.

»Do what?« You asked, your voice now shy from feeling all the stares on you.

»The… the voice, the Scottish accent, all of it!?« It was now Scott who spoke, his surprise still written all over his face.

“Yeah, this was way to real.” Bucky added.

»Well… I… I used to voice cartoon characters before I became an Avenger.« You explained, a nervous sigh escaping your lungs.

»You what?« Sam, Bucky and Nat all spoke at once.

»Who else beside Merida did you do?« Rhodey questioned.

»Well let’s see…« you had to think for a moment, since it was quite a while ago »I did Ana from Frozen, Tinker Bell, Princess Jasmine, Rapunzel and…«

You were about to continue, before Nat interrupted you.

»Wait… you voiced Rapunzel?« She asked, exhilarated.

»That’s like, my favourite Disney movie ever!«

»Oh really? It was one of my favorite I voiced in.« You smiled at how enthusiastic she seemed to be.

»Alright guys, give her a moment to breathe.« Tony said, stepping towards you and outstretching his hand.

He coughed before swiftly lifting you back into a standing position.

»Ladys and gentleman, I believe, although our initial response might not have shown that, we have a winner!« He lifted your hand up, while everybody around started cheering.

»Hey, what about me? I didn’t even get my turn!« Steve pouted.

»You really think you can compete against that?« Bucky raised his eyebrow in amusment.

»You’re probably right.« He laughed, turning to you. »So.. Y/n, the big question remains, who’s the unlucky victim that will have to give up the thing they hold most dear to their heart for the entire day?«

You looked around the room, thinking about what would be most fun to use for a day.

Steve’s shield? Useful but boring. Nat’s guns? Meh, maybe some other time.Tony’s suit? Tempting.

Finally, it hit you.

»I want Scott’s suit.« You outed after a few seconds of consideration.

»What? Y/n! I thought we were friends.« Scott cluched his chest, acting broken-hearted.

You just snorted in response. »Hey it’s for a higher purpose.«You smirked, mischief seeping from your eyes.

»That being…?« Scott awaited an explanation.

»Getting back at my Maths techer from high school.« You simply said, shrugging your soulders.

»And that counts as higher purpose?« Tony raised his brow bemusedly.

»Well naturally, I will spare all the future generations of kids from having to listen to her and dealing with her inability to teach and that to me is a higher purpose.« You smiled cheekily.

»What are you gonna do? Crawl up her ass and then expand?« Sam joined in on the conversation.

»No, I was actually only thinking about getting an army of ants to her house, seeing as she hates them so much, but now that you’ve mentioned it…«

»Y/n no!« Scott almost stuttered, now semingly genuinely concerned aout his suit.

»Catch me if you can!« You yelled, already sprinting to his room, hearing how Tony shouted after you.

»Don’t let him get you Y/n, avenge the children!«

[spnfanficpond]

July 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting with @crispychrissy today! Thank you so much, Chrissy, for joining us!

This month, to make up for not having a chat in June, we chatted for two hours about some issues related to posting your works on Tumblr. Chrissy talked to us about making our own gifs, we discussed giving credit to gifmakers, how to make a Keep Reading cut, and much more!! A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut!

[Editor’s Note: For ease of understanding, the tags you put at the bottom of a post with a # will be called #hash-tags, while the tags you use to notify another Tumblr user that you’ve posted something will be called @mention-tags.]

Q: What programs do you use to make gifs? Are they free, or do you have to buy them?

Chrissy: Well, there is a free one I used back when I started called GifCam. It's easy to set up (it's just an exe) and there's a little learning curve, but it's easier than what I do now. I currently use a screen capture program that came with my $1500 graphics card along with Sony Vegas. If anyone wants GifCam, I can send it to them.

Q: And are you watching via Netflix or some other way?

C: Yes, I use Netflix. I have the first 6 seasons on DVD along with 12 and 13, so for bloopers and deleted scenes I have to use the DVD's. For current episodes, I have YouTube TV, and use the screen capture option with that. Tumblr has a 3MB limit on file size, so it’s really hard. The amount of frames you can fit in a sub-3MB gif depend on so many factors. Colors in the scene, movement, FPS (frames per second), and length. A low FPS gif looks pretty choppy, while a high FPS gif is smooth as butter.

Q: So that's why some gifs seem to go on forever, and others are quick things.

C: Yes. I can make a really long gif of something that's really really tiny, but if you want it to fit into the pixels of a Tumblr post, it limits how long they can be.

Q: And I guess that's also why some gifs I find from Google and try to put into a post won't animate right. If they're too big, I guess Tumblr stops them?

C: Yes. Tumblr just freezes the image instead of animating it. When you save it, check the file size.

C: So this is an example of the brightness and colors of a gif affecting the size. Since there's so much brightness and color, the more the gif has to render, meaning the bigger the size. This worked out to be only 35 frames, which is like... really small, but the gif itself came out to be 2.83 MB.

Q: Are websites that come up when I Google "gif maker" worth my time and effort?

C: Only if you don't mind a stupid watermark from the company.

Q: About giving credit to gifmakers....any thoughts?

C: Well, all my gifs have "cc" in the bottom right corner, that's how I give myself credit if they're used. Not everyone knows the "cc" gifs are mine, but I do. I offer my gif making services to anyone if they need a specific gif made for a story or otherwise, not limited to SPN. I've made porn gifs, ones from YouTube, and from other shows. If it exists, I can gif it. Tumblr's search feature is... well, it's not perfect, but it'll help give you a quick gif and give credit to the author. When someone uses a gif I've posted, it gives me a notification, which is awesome, but annoying if it gets reposted a crap ton. It also links the person back to the original post and who posted it.

Q: Some folks seem to think that if they grab a gif from Google, just saying they found it on Google is giving credit. I know this isn't the case. (I mistakenly thought that pasting the link to the image would allow folks to click through to where I found it, but discovered last night that's not the case.) If I found a gif on Google that was yours and used it, and provided a link to the page where Google found it, would that be enough, do you think?

C: Sometimes a reverse image search can be helpful, but it mostly doesn't work with gifs. That would be fine for me. Like I said, I have "cc" in the corner so that's me marking the gif as one of mine. I can't control where someone reposts them or uses them. There's a difference between reposting it to a site like Pinterest or using my gif on a LiveJournal post and saving it and reuploading it like it's yours and without giving me credit. One is malicious, the other isn't. I have a problem with the latter.

Q: I started looking at where Google finds gifs last night, and noticed that sites like gfycat have whole pages of gifs, and just citing that page might not be enough. (And trying to find where Google found them many times leads to a Tumblr blog that’s now gone.)

C: Google finds gifs all over the place. Someone can take my gif from Tumblr and reupload it to a bunch of different websites, all which would show up in a Google search. It's hard to find the original poster when it happens. Yeah, people delete their pages, but the gif stays. If you get to that point, just say, “Gif found on Google, unable to find original post"

Q: Speaking of finding gifs, how does the search function work on Tumblr? Is it just whatever the post was tagged with or the first 5 tags like regular searches or something else entirely?

After some discussion, we all decided that the gif search uses whatever #hash-tags are on a post where a gif is used, and then makes that gif searchable by that #hash-tag. So, if you make a post about chronic pain and use a gif of the Winchesters hugging, that gif will then show up in the gif search under #chronic pain. Also, popularity of the gif ensures it shows up at the top of the search. As people stop using a gif, it eventually falls out of the search results.

Q: Going back to file sizes...Do the dimensions of the source video (like watching Netflix/YouTube in full screen vs in a smaller window) impact the size of the gif, specifically with GifCam?

C: Now, that's a HUGE reason why I switched the way I make gifs. Netflix has a set streaming rate, which is only optimized at full screen. So the smaller you make the window to get it to fit into the size of the gif, the more degraded the image is. (Some confusion was expressed, so she continued to explain it further.) Netflix likes to run as big as possible. It wants as many pixels it can get to show you an image. If you minimize the window, it kind of freaks out and has to quickly scramble to make everything smaller so the video keeps playing. It does that by squishing everything down, making the image look weird. It might not be too noticeable when you look at it, but when you make gifs, they're gonna come out lookin all wonky.

Q: So, you have to make the Netflix window smaller in order to capture the images with the gif-making software? The gif-making software can't capture full screen?

C: GifCam will record the gif based on the window size. You gotta squish the window down to make it a reasonable size to fit on Tumblr. Other programs, which you might have to pay for, might be able to capture full screen and do the squishing for you. (Side note: during this discussion, Chrissy gave us some examples, and in showing them to us, revealed that a good gif size for Tumblr is around 410-430 wide, 230-250 high.)

After that, we moved on to other topics that had been brought up in the Pond survey a while back. 

How to make a Keep Reading cut and when you should use it.

Note: Although this worked for one person on the app, it doesn’t seem to work for all, and we’re not sure why. There are too many variables to determine the root cause for why it doesn’t always work. 

Q: "When should I give someone credit for being a beta (for example: I bounced ideas with someone for a minute or two but they didn’t technically beta read it; I can’t decide between X and Y (with no context), pick one)"

A: Always mention anyone who helped you. You don’t have to say they beta-read your story, but at least mention that they helped, even if they didn’t know it! Gratitude is always a good thing!! Writing takes a village, and being thankful for help is courteous, kind, caring, and helps you to make friends that will be the same right back to you.

How do I add my masterlist for my blog description?

Note: Chrissy pointed out that if you change your bio by hitting “edit appearance” instead of “edit theme” the link will break, so be careful where you add this! These things and more can be found in the Pond FAQ list!!

Q: The facts on search issues (re: links, tags, and anything else that keeps a fic from being “searchable”)

A: A lot of testing and research went into trying to figure this out, and we still probably don’t have it all figured out, but we learned some interesting things!

Most importantly, since we have a lot of smut writers, if you use the #hash-tag #NSFW on your post, your post will NOT show up in any searches!!

Adding an external link should not cause your post to be unsearchable, but that’s not guaranteed. According to Tumblr’s own help pages, “some links may cause posts to be hidden from recent search results.” Since spambots use external links in their posts, this will always be something that could possibly interfere with your post being searchable.

According to Tumblr: “Blogs that have been either self-flagged or flagged by us as “explicit” per our old policy (before December 17, 2018), will not show up in search. Users under 18 are still not allowed to click through to see the content of these blogs. If you think your blog has been erroneously marked as explicit, you can file an appeal by following these instructions.”

When you are searching for your post, make sure you are looking at Most Recent posts, not Most Popular! 

Some things to know about searching:

There are two ways to search a blog. If you use the search box at the top, then your results will have a URL like this:  https://spnfanficpond.tumblr.com/search/big-fish-chat

However, that is not the only way you can search your blog. If you look at a post, and click on one of the tags on that post, your results will have a URL like this: https://spnfanficpond.tumblr.com/tagged/big-fish-chat

The first search will look through all of the text in a post to find the words you’re searching for. The second search will only look for posts with that specific tag. If a blog doesn’t have a search box in its theme, you can type these searches in manually, and they will still work.

You can also do these searches manually through all of Tumblr. Keep this in mind when you’re doing your general Tumblr search and check the URL of your results, because... “search” & “tagged” look at #hash-tags differently!

(This is so confusing, we know.)

“Search” will look through 20 #hash-tags. “Tagged” will only look through 5 #hash-tags. So, put your most important #hash-tags in your first 5!!

Q: Can you talk about xkit?

A: xkit is awesome and we should all bow down to the xkit guy because he fixes things when Tumblr poops on the carpet. Seriously. It’s only for use on desktop, but it makes Tumblr so much easier to manage.

xkit is an extension for your browser. Look for New xkit, and download that. Once you have xkit loaded, click on the xkit icon near the top right of your screen. When the xkit window pops up, click on Get Extensions. We could suggest a list of the best extensions, but they’re all seriously awesome. Blacklist seems to be the most common, as it filters out posts you don’t want to see based on tags and text. Auto Tagger, Activity+, Outbox, One-Click Postage, and Quick Tags are all ridiculously useful for everyday blogging. The whole thing is super easy to learn and use, and you can’t break anything while you’re learning. Some extensions, like Blacklist, may slow your computer down when you’re surfing your dash because they essentially surf it ahead of you and manipulate it. If you start seeing problems, you can disable any extensions you decide you don’t want to use, anymore.

Seriously, it’s freaking awesome.

Great talk, guys! If you have ideas for topics, please let us know!!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: 

We’re working on setting up the discord server. We’re still learning the ins and outs and all the options available. More options means more discussion among the admins and decisions to be made, so please be patient! We’re getting there!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Challenge - Now that the season is over, we will be reposting each prompt list through the summer months! Remember, there’s no deadline for submissions!

Say hi to June’s New Members!

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the chat room and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We don’t have a topic or speaker set up for August’s event, yet, so if there’s something you want to talk about, or someone you want to talk to, LET US KNOW!

[clevercatchphrase]

You Monster Chpt. 34

(This story is also available on ao3, under the same username as here~! I am no longer linking the chapters here, or else tumblr would hide the results in their search engine. Sorry for the inconvenience!) 

It’s a couple hours before all the amalgamates are back with their rightful families.

With you, Sans, Papyrus and Undyne as her moral support, Alphys makes her way through each of the Underground’s main regions, returning Reaper Bird, Lemon Bread, Endogeny and Mrs. Drake to their respective homes.

While there were a few harsh words given to Alphys, mostly from Astigmatisms and Snowdrake Senior for not telling them what had truly happened to their loved ones, most of the monsters seemed so overjoyed at having their relatives back, they couldn’t have cared less if their appearance had changed, or if they now shared a mind with a dozen other monsters. All that mattered was that they were alive and they were home.

It’s almost midnight when you finally get back to Hotland.

“Hey pal,” Papyrus says when he catches you yawning on the couch near Alphys’ huge monitor. “While we were in Snowdin, I ran by my house and got your things.”

He hands you a plastic bag with your yarn and green sweater.

“Thanks Papyrus. You didn’t have to.” You smile. “I was gonna trade them back for your cellphone, remember?”

“Yes, I know, but…” Papyrus trails off. “I figured giving them to you now would make the inevitable goodbye a little easier… in the future.”

“That’s really thoughtful of you.”

“I also took the liberty of washing your shirt. I remember you remarking how it felt nice to change into clean clothes, and figured it was a small kindness I could do to make your day a little easier.”

“Yeah, I could REALLY go for a shower right now,” you say. “I think I saw one in the basement lab-”

“W-wait, I do have a bathroom on the ground floor, believe it or not,” Alphys says. “It’s the first door on the left by the front entrance.”

“Thanks, Alphys,” you yawn a second time, suddenly drained as all of the day’s excitement catches up to you. “Guess it’s too late to go to the king again, huh? But tomorrow for sure, yeah?”

“Y-yeah… Say! Let’s have a slumber party!” Alphys suggests. “I’ve still got the movies queued up, a-and we’re all already here, a-and… there might be more things I need to get of my conscience. It would be nice to have some friends nearby.”

“Hey! Yeah! A slumber party sounds like fun!” Undyne agrees.

“I second that notion!” Papyrus says. “We can tell secrets and make friendship bracelets! It’ll be great!”

“I dunno, guys,” you interject. “I should probably get some sleep if I want to see the king first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Kid, you’re within spitting distance of the stinkin’ castle now!” Undyne points out. “All the elevators are fixed, so it’ll be a straight shot up there tomorrow. I think you can afford to watch one more movie with us!”

“Y-yeah! You can’t go back to the Ruins before I can get a chance to introduce you to anime!” Alphys pleads. “Please? Will you watch just one with us?”

You shift your eyes to each of the puppy-dog faces and sigh in defeat.

“I guess just one more movie wouldn’t hurt…”

“Great! F-feel free to take a shower while I go g-get some sleeping bags!”

Thirty minutes later you’re sitting on the couch with Papyrus, freshly washed and fiddling with the new features on his phone while Alphys rewinds the deer movie you had left off on, and while Undyne makes a fresh round of snacks. Together, Papyrus and Sans introduce you to the world of texting, showing you how to make faces out of the letters and symbols while the movie more or less plays as background noise.

The deer movie ends, and the third one, the one with the lions, starts to autoplay. Alphys perks up excitedly. The royal scientist says this one technically isn’t anime, though it’s argued that it might be a rip-off of an anime with a similar name. Undyne asks why they don’t just watch that one instead, and Alphys explains with a bit of nervous apologizing that she doesn’t have that many episodes on VHS.

You shrug it off, and turn back to the screen to give the movie your full attention. Based on Alphys’ reaction, this was one of the better movies she had and you wanted the best experience, but as you watch the movie, that curious sense of familiarity begins to tickle the back of your mind. There was something about these characters and songs…

“I think… I’ve seen this movie somewhere before…” you say vacantly, staring at the screen.

“Impossible!” Papyrus interjects. “You confessed yourself you didn’t know what TV was until two days ago!”

“I… didn’t see it on tee-vee…” you trail off.

That strange déjà vu feeling was beginning to rear its ugly head yet again, and this time you weren’t going to let it get away. Sensing it coming, you mentally grab it, and focus on it until-

You see flashes of darkness and a bright screen in front of you. There are other kids around you, laughing, crying, screaming. The air smells sweet and savory, much like the popcorn you’re eating- JUST like the popcorn you’re eating. There’s an adult on each side of you, telling you to sit up, listen up, SHUT UP, you should be happy They’ve given this treat to you, you should be thankful because They’re being nice to you when you haven’t earned it, but the room is too cold and the noise is too loud and you don’t like it, so you hum nursery rhymes to yourself until it’s all over, and on the car ride home all the streetlights blend in with the stars above, and the air smells like cigars and alcohol, which you don’t like but don’t mention, because if you complain then They will give you something to REALLY cry about-!

You don’t realize you’re convulsing until strong arms are holding you in place. People are yelling at you, but their words are meaningless. It’s just noise, noise, noise, too much noise-

“Kid! Kid!” A concerned voice breaks through to you. “Deep breaths! Stay with us!”

You force yourself to inhale and blink until the halo of faces staring down at you come into focus. Everyone is staring at you in fear and confusion.

“A-are you alright?” Alphys asks.

You roll your eyes to see the legs of the couch beside you. Cold tile presses against your cheek.

“Why am I on the floor?” you croak.

“You tell us, kid,” Sans sighs, rubbing his neck. We all thought you were super into the movie the way you were just staring at the screen. The next thing we know, you’re eyes are rolling back and you’re having a seizure. What happened?”

“I… don’t know…” You admit. You touch your face to find your cheeks are wet with tears. You don’t remember crying. “I… I don’t think I want to watch this movie anymore,” you sniff.

“Th-that’s okay! All these Disney movies are kinda wearing me out too. W-would you like to skip to anime now?” Alphys asks.

You shrug, not really caring as you cradle your pounding head.

Alphys skips ahead to her last movie while you snuggle between Papyrus and Undyne on the middle cushion of the couch. You try your hardest to read the captions on the screen translating what the characters are saying, but your mind keeps drifting back to the vision you had, struggling to make sense of it. What was that place you saw? Who were those people? And why did thinking about it fill you with such dread?

You shake your head, trying to force yourself to stay focused on the screen in an effort to distract yourself, but it isn’t working all that well. Your most recent episode seems to have drained you to absolute zero with how heavy your eyelids feel. Blinking several times, you struggle to stay awake and look back to the movie. You forget what it’s called, but it’s about a goat and a wolf who become friends despite being natural enemies. The animation gets a little weird now and then, but the colors are nice, you guess. You have no idea what the story’s supposed to be about since you keep nodding off. Before long, you decide to rest your eyes and just listen to the movie, despite not being able to understand a word. It’ll only be for a little while. Just until your eyes stop stinging. And at least the music is calm and soothing… and without even realizing it, you’ve fallen asleep.

________________________________________________________

Sans is first to notice that they’re out cold. He nudges them with one slippered foot, but they don’t respond.

“Welp, looks like they’ve finally checked out for tonight,” he says. “It’s nearly three a.m. With any luck, they’ll sleep through the whole day and give us a few more hours to come up with a better plan for what to do next.”

“Phew, I’m glad they feel asleep during this,” Alphys says pausing the VHS. “The only other movies I have that don’t have humans in them are the Ice Age sequels and I wouldn’t want to force anyone watch those. That would just be cruel and unusual torture.”

“I’ll put them to bed,” Undyne offers, carefully cradling the child in her arm as not to wake them, and takes them upstairs.

“So… What do we do now?” Alphys asks. “W-we can’t just let them go to the king. He’ll exicute them as soon as he sees them.”

“Should we call ahead and let the king know?”

“And what would we tell him? ‘Hey, Asgore! We’re bringing the last human soul needed to break the barrier to your place because they need a favor of you! Could you be so kind as to let them live, pretty please? They’re a real good kid and we like ‘em, so we’d prefer you don’t kill them on sight?’ Get real.”

“We could go with the kid and meet him there?”

“Oh, and have him say, ‘thank you my loyal subjects and royal scientist and guard for personally hand delivering me this human. As a special treat you can watch me take their soul?’”

“We could always tell the kid the king got sick and he doesn’t want us to catch it!”

“Do you really think they’d fall for that?”

“We could say he’s out grocery shopping!”

“No, that won’t work either.”

They toss ideas back and forth, bringing up dozens of potential scenarios and shooting down why each one wouldn’t work. Soon their arguments become circular and repetitive, with still no solution to be found.

“The thing is, none of the ideas will work ‘cause the kid won’t believe us.” Sans says. “They’ve caught wise to us and know anything we try now would be a ploy. We can’t try to hold them back now or they’ll cut us off and go it alone, which would be a certain death sentence. We gotta find a way to make ‘em choose not to go to the king.”

“We’ve guided ourselves into a corner…” Papyrus nods glumly.

“Nothing else much we can do at the moment…”

“And if anything… we can at least say we tried.”

“Well… th-there is one last option we have…” Alphys says. Undyne, Papyrus and Sans look to her, waiting for her answer. “W-we can tell them the truth; let them know the s-situation, gently break it to them.”

“Alphys, you know we can’t do that.”

“A-and why not?” Alphys argues. “They’re g-gonna find out sooner or later! I-if not tomorrow, then for certain when they meet Asgore! What’s the worst thing that’s going to happen? If they go to the king tomorrow unaware or not, they’re going to die. I-I let a lot off my chest today. I came clean with all my secrets, but being a part of this one m-makes me afraid I’m going to relapse into a fibbing mess again! I can’t keep making exceptions like this, or I’m just going to go back to my old ways.”

“Maybe… maybe we should just go to Asgore first without the kid and explain the situation,” Undyne suggests. “I’ve trained with Asgore for years, and I know the guy. Sure, he can fight when he needs to, but he probably doesn’t want to. He’d spare an innocent child… right?”

“He didn’t the last six times,” Sans points out.

Everyone looks down solemnly at their feet.

“Say, we’re all p-pretty tired,” Alphys says. “L-let’s sleep on it a-and see if we can come up with any new ideas tomorrow before the kid wakes up. You know, it’s always easier to tackle a problem with a clear head and fresh eyes.”

The four agree, seeing no better solution in the moment, and reluctantly head upstairs to join their sleeping friend, and secretly praying tonight’s dreams wouldn’t be their last.

_______________________________________________

You sleep. You dream. You see your reflection.

And yet…. The closer you look, the less it looks like you. You know your skin is not that pale, and your hair is not that light, and your eyes are not that RED. The reflection tilts its head and you find yourself copying it, and that’s when you realize with rising panic that this is not your reflection-- you are ITS.

“You have come so far,” the doppelganger mouths, and you startle when it’s YOUR voice that comes out of YOUR mouth though you didn’t put the words there.

“I realize what you are trying to do,” the voice says against your will as the replica in the mirror speaks. They look straight at you while they force you to talk, yet you cannot help but feel as if these words are not for you, but are instead directed at someone else. “Your plan is noble, but ultimately it will not work. They have impressed upon too many.”

You want to look away, but you can’t. Your actions are left to the mercy of the onlooker, whose movements you are slave bound to. As long as they stay focused on you, you have no choice but to return the notion.

“But maybe…” the person in the glass blinks at you, as if seeing you for the first time. “Maybe… if I can take it NOW… I can make a difference.”

The reflection raises its arms and you’re forced to do the same. They bring their fingertips up to the glass, until they’re touching. Your hands stop against the cold surface, but the copycat’s don’t. You can only watch passively as your mind yells in horror as the hands phase through the glass while yours are stuck in place.

The apparition’s arms pass through yours, and then violently grab your sleeves and start pulling, pulling, pulling you forward, trying to force you to go through the mirror, trying to take your place, and with every ounce of will power you can muster you scream in your mind, desperate to move even a single muscle but to no avail.

The hands are clawing up your shoulders, grabbing at your shirt, at your chest, at your SOUL-

You jerk awake. Your eyes fly open and you almost scream. Beside you, someone grunts in annoyance, your spasm apparently disturbing their rest.

You try to sort out where you are and the memory rushes up to you like a tidal wave as it all comes flooding back. The amalgamates, the slumber party, the movie. You sigh in relief. It was just a nightmare. It wasn’t real. Already it was quickly fading from your mind as if it had never happened, and you decidedly chose not to think about it to let it be forgotten even faster, but when you close your eyes you can’t help but glimpse the bright red afterimage of two eyes staring back at you on the inside of your eyelids.

Geez, you hadn’t had a night terror that bad in years. But you were admittedly close to the CORE. It wasn’t unlikely that stray magic could reach this far in high concentrations and mess with your dreams. Unfortunately you were far too awake now to go back to sleep.

You sit up carefully and look around to find your friends dogpiled around you on the bed and half hanging off the sides. You exhale with a smirk at how tightly everyone is packed on the mattress. Who thought it was a good idea for all five of you to share one bed when Alphys got sleeping bags for this very reason? You had to admit, though, with friends packed together so close, you certainly did feel safe and secure.

Gingerly you untangle yourself from the pile, trying your hardest not to disturb the other sleepers until you extract yourself from the mess. You stand up and stretch and search for your borrowed phone. It’s just past six a.m. You know you didn’t receive a lot of sleep, but you feel remarkably rested regardless. The rest of the Underground should be waking up in the next hour or two.

You look back at your friends, heart panging with melancholy. Right from the moment you met each one of them you knew you would be dreading the minute when you’d have to say goodbye, but for now they were at peace with serene faces, blissfully unaware of your fast-approaching departure. At least they weren’t looking at you with sadness or worry anymore. You decide to cherish this moment of tranquility by letting them rest a bit longer. They would wake up when they were ready.

As quietly as you can, you pad over to the escalator and make your way downstairs. Alphys has packets of instant noodles in her fridge along with a few cans of soda and a carton of ice cream in the freezer. You take a packet of noodles on the assumption it was the healthiest of the three options and try to read the cooking instructions, but it’s all written in a language you don’t understand. Out of famished curiosity, you try eating the noodles dry and discover that they aren’t half bad uncooked. You throw out the flavor packet, though. You can pick out enough context clues to decipher the nutrition label and would rather not ingest something that contains enough sodium to kill a small mammal in one little bag.

Nibbling on dry noodles, you go back to the television, turn it on and turn the volume down way low so you don’t wake the others. Inside the tape player is still the movie about the goat and the wolf. It seems Alphys and the others paused it right after you fell asleep, so you continue watching from where you left off. You still have no clue what’s going on, but thank goodness for subtitles so the TV isn’t too loud and noisy.

Wrapped up in a blanket burrito, you passively watch the movie while you wait for your friends to wake up, but apparently you were a lot closer to the end of the movie than you realized, because the next thing you know, the names of the cast are rolling. You search the couch for another movie, but all the ones available are the ones you already watched last night, and after your episode yesterday, you don’t really want to risk triggering another one by watching the same thing that caused the first. Wait, didn’t you see a room filled with video tapes down in Alphys’ true lab? You bet that’s where Alphys is keeping some more. Surely she won’t mind if you browse for another movie? She was very adamant about introducing you to anime after all.

Dragging half of the couch blanket with you, you shamble over to the elevator door and stumble sleepily inside. The doors close behind you and lower you down. Alphys’ true lab is a lot brighter now that the amalgamates are gone, especially Reaper Bird with their photosensitivity to bright light. The place practically felt hospitable.

You retrace your footsteps, even following the arrows Undyne had carved on the walls until you stumble upon the video room. There’s a television ready and waiting on a table in the middle of the room. Four tapes are scattered in front of it, with one tape already in the player. You scan the shelves for a potential movie, but nothing catches your interest. Every title is either a documentary or in a language you can’t read. You skip over them without a second thought.

When nothing the shelves have entices you, you turn to the TV and push in the tape just to see what Alphys was watching last, grab the remote, and hit play. The screen flickers from a dull grey to black, and muffled audio crackles from the speakers. Huh. Either the TV or the tape was on the fritz. You’re just about to hit ‘eject’ when suddenly the audio pops and comes through loud and clear.

“Howdy, Chara! Smile for the camera!”

You freeze, finger poised over the button, and listen closer.

“Ha, this time I got YOU! I left the cap on... ON PURPOSE! Now you're smiling for noooo reason!”

Your heart skips a beat and a strong sense of foreboding grips you. The speaker said your name. They were talking to you, but you don’t recognize the voice. You don’t remember this conversation. Heart pounding, you shift your fingers away from the pause button and hit rewind instead. The gears inside the tape player cough and chug as they scroll back the tape, and you watch the screen closely for any clues, but the video remains dark until-

There’s a flash of white, a blur of green, and suddenly two kids are on the screen, doing rapid movements in reverse. Your fingers fumble with the remote, mashing the play button repeatedly until the TV finally gets the message.

The tape stutters and chokes and then at last a grainy image comes on the screen. At first you can’t tell if the recording is out of focus or if it is just the kid; a young monster with white fur and long ears. Looking at him fills you with a sense of apprehension. Half a thought forms in the back of your mind that this is what you’d imagine your mom would have looked like when she was younger, but you’re far too focused on the other child in the background. That kid- that kid with the brown hair and pale skin. Something about that kid is making alarm bells go off in your head. You’ve SEEN them before. It’s the same kid you’ve seen in your dreams. In your nightmares.

That kid... there’s something unsettling about that other kid. You realize with horror and awe that they look just like you.

Well, maybe not exactly- their hair was lighter, their skin paler, and their eyes were unique shade of brown that bordered on being red in the right light, but you looked so similar you could have been siblings. What’s worse, they have your NAME. But why?

The furry child smiles, his face far too close to the camera. “Okay… the red light is blinking. I think that means it’s working now…” He mumbles to himself, before turning the camera around onto the other kid. The recording bounces in time with the filmmaker’s footsteps as they get close to their subject who’s reading a book.

“Hey, Chara,” the filmmaker snickers. “Look over here.”

The other child looks up, semi-annoyed at the request. When their eyes meet the camera they flinch and throw their hands up to cover their face.

“Stop it, Asriel! I don’t want to be filmed!”

Asriel… You’ve heard that name before, but where? Didn’t… didn’t Kid say something about a monster named Asriel once?

A cold, nervous sensation starts to grow in your gut and spread up your spine.

You pause the video and take several deep breaths. Something ominous lingers on the edge of your awareness. Something warns you not to turn your head to see it clearly, because once you see it- once that connection is made it can’t be undone.

Curiosity and caution war within you as your trembling fingers hover over the play button. Who was this monster who looked like you and had your name? You… you want to know, you have to find out- and yet, something deep within you warns you you’ll regret it if you do. You hesitate, thinking and thinking… and against your better judgement your curiosity wins out. You hit ‘play’.

“C’mon, Chara! You promised me you’d make one video with me after I got the camera fixed!” The child wielding the camera whines.

“Oh, alright, put it on the table and I will be in your silly vlog. Let us get this over with.”

The camera is set on the table and faces a blank wall.

Wait, you’ve changed your mind. You don’t want to watch this anymore. Shaking, you grip the remote and hit the stop button, but the TV doesn’t respond.

The goat kid jumps in frame from the right. “Howdy! I’m Asriel! Prince of the Underground!”

“Greetings, I am Chara,” says the other kid stepping in from the left.

You desperately hit stop again and again, but the TV’s sensor is old and unresponsive. You don’t want to see what happens next, intuition tells you that you already know. Something bad was going to happen if you kept watching, if you kept pushing. You had to stop it, stop it, stop it now!

“And together we are the future!”

“-Of humans,”

“-And monsters!”

The children clasp their hands together and raise it triumphantly over their heads before dissolving into laughter over how silly it looks.

The remote control falls from your hands and hits the floor with a hollow clack. The tape finally stops and jams on the frame of them together.

“No…”

Humans... and monsters. Humans and monsters. Prince Asriel. You remember now, the story Kid had told you in Waterfall, how he had befriended a human who fell here years ago.

“No.”

A human child that had gotten sick and died which in turn led to the death of the prince. A human child named Chara that looked like you, because-

“No, no, NO! IT’S NOT TRUE!”

The room around you begins to spin and you’re stumbling backwards as you lose your sense of balance, but dare not take your eyes off the TV, all the while shaking your head in denial. Your knees give out at the same moment your back hits the wall, and you slump to the ground, grabbing your head as the world falls apart around you.

_______________________________________________

On the ground floor, the credits finish rolling on the VHS left unattended, and the screen fades to black before flickering to a soothing blue. Despite the TV’s volume being turned down to nearly zero, when the tape hits its last inch of film, the blue cuts to static that thunders like a thousand avalanches crashing at once.

Upstairs, the four monsters jolt awake, and tumble off the bed in a tangled heap of bones and scales.

“Whaszat!? Where’s the fire?!” Undyne demands in a drunken daze.

“Did someone turn the TV on?” Alphys says.

“Hey, where’s the kid?” Sans asks.

Everyone scrabbles to their feet to check if one of them accidentally flattened the kid in their sleep. All eyes turn to the bed only to find it vacant. A wave of dread washes over them.

“Q-quick! Downstairs!” Alphys says. Papyrus and Alphys dive for the escalator while Undyne vaults over the loft’s railing and Sans winks himself down. The couch in front of the TV is empty.

“Look!” Papyrus points to the blanket trailing off the couch. It’s pointing to the elevator.

“They went back down to the lab?” Undyne asks. “Why?”

Beside her, Alphys gasps. “I have more tapes down there.” She says. “B-but If they’re not careful, they could end up seeing something they shouldn’t!”

“Well then what are we standing around here for?” Sans says. “Let’s go stop ‘em!”

The four monsters pile into the elevator and travel down. Alphys takes the lead when the doors open, dashing off straight to the tape room. The four monsters sprint through the halls, skidding around corners until they all close in on the open door.

No one speaks when they get there. The TV is on, a tape frozen on a scene Alphys has re-watched more times than she could count.

The sound of erratic breathing draws their attention to the side. There. Huddled against the wall is the kid, curled into a tight ball. They’re staring at their trembling hands, their tiny body hyperventilating so hard it makes it looks like they double to twice their size with each breath. Their eyes are wide and wild. They turn to the monsters in the doorway.

“I… I… I’m… I am…” They try to speak between exhales, but either they can’t find the words or they don’t want to say them. They swallow hard and try again. “I’m… human?” The choke out at last. They stare at them, silently begging one of them to say it wasn’t true, that the film was wrong, but no one says a word. No one looks them in the eye. Instead they look to one another, lost for words, and then off to the sides or at their feet.

The kid watches them unblinking, a horrible realization clicking in their mind when no one replies. Their eyes go narrow, and then alarmingly wide as all pieces begins to fall in place.

“You… you knew…” They accuse. “ALL of you? And you didn’t say anything? Why-” They cut themselves off from finishing the question. They already know why.

“Pal, it’s not what you think,” Papyrus says.

“Not what I think?” The kid spits back, their voice laced with venom and hurt. Slowly, they unfold themselves and stand. “No… No, I get it now. I GET it. You all lied to me!”

“We were doing it to protect you-”

“Protect ME?” The kid shouts, their face sneering in disgust. “Are you sure it wasn’t to protect anyone else? Because as we all know, humans are malicious! Humans are violent! Humans do nothing but destroy!” They look at each of the other monsters in turn.

“Is this why YOU wanted to study me?” They glare at Alphys, who cowers in shame. “So THAT’S why YOU cut the bridge.” They snarl at Undyne, who flinches like she’s been slapped. “And that’s why YOU attacked me in the kitchen,” they spit at Sans, who eyes go dark as he tries to shrink into his hoodie. “Because I’m human and that means I’m inherently dangerous! Is that why you don’t want me to go to the king as well? Because you all think I’ll hurt him?”

“No! That’s not why at all!” Undyne interjects. “Well, i-it was at first, but not anymore-”

“All this time… All this time I thought you were trying to help me when you really only wanted to stop me. I TRUSTED you, but you NEVER trusted ME! Better not tell them or it could make them unpredictable! Just like I‘m feeling right now!”

“Kid, we were trying to help-”

“I can’t believe you,” they cry as hot, angry tears rolls down their face. “I…I...! I hate all of you!”

The human surges forward. For a split second, it’s everyone’s worst nightmare coming to life; the kid knows the truth and now they’re turning on them, but no one can find it in themselves to fight back. Everyone is frozen to the spot they stand, unable or unwilling to put up a defense. They brace themselves for an attack, but a blow never comes. Instead the human roughly shoves them aside as they make a break for it.

“Kid, come back!” someone shouts, but they don’t heed their words and vanish from sight.

“Shit! Catch them!” Undyne commands. Nobody needs to be told twice. All four monsters leap for the doorway at once and successfully end up bottlenecking themselves.

“Sans, you’re stepping on my tail!” “Undyne, you’re kneeing me in the spine!” “Papyrus, get your elbow out of my eye!” “Alphys, will you stop clawing my ribs?”

Precious seconds are wasted as the four untangle themselves painstakingly slowly until they at last squeeze out the door and race back to the elevator, only to arrive too late. The elevator has closed and was on its way to the ground floor.

“Quick! The emergency exits!” Alphys says, pointing to a door for a nearby stairwell. They burst into the hall and climb the steps two at a time.

Everyone is breathless by the time they get back to the ground floor, but Alphys’ upper lab is empty. Together, the monsters race out onto the streets of Hotland, only to find them vacant.

“Where’d they go?” Papyrus frets.

“Sans, can’t you just do your weird space jumping powers to find them?” Undyne demands.

“It doesn’t work like that, Undyne!” Sans complains. “It’s not a homing device! If I don’t know where they are, I can’t magically find them!”

“M-my access card is missing!” Alphys gasps, catching up a minute later. “Th-they could be heading back to the CORE!”

“Or they could have used it to ride the ferry back to Snowdin!” Papyrus suggests.

“I think I saw something running towards Waterfall!” Undyne says.

“We need to split up,” Sans says turning to the group. “Alphys, you search Hotland. Put the entire region on lockdown if you have to. Undyne, you know every inch of Waterfall. Rally the other royal guards. Papyrus, you and I will take Snowdin.”

“W-what if we can’t find them?” Alphys questions.

“We will find them,” Sans assures, refusing to let doubt enter his soul. “We have to, before they end up hurting themselves.”

“And if they end up hurting someone else?” asks Undyne.

Sans pauses, his eyes going dim for just a second. It was a possibility they had all considered, but didn’t want to acknowledge. “We can’t let that be an option. I hate to say this, but the kid was right. Their entire world view has just been shattered, and right now they’re unpredictable. Do whatever you can to stop them, but proceed with caution. We may have a volatile human on the loose.”