#What its done to his mental health and how he had to learn how to cope with it but it's still so hard for him at times and -

[2024skin]

It's fucked up that the sober population straight up ignores how a huge portion of addicts have chronic illnesses

[adragonsfriend]

Use this one trick to instantly fix all childhood trauma (Jedi Masters don’t want you to know this)!!!!!

That is what every “if Obi-Wan had just— *adds one extra scene to canon* —then Anakin would’ve had perfect mental health and never listened to Palpatine at all,” sounds like to me. Look I am not an expert on any kind of psychology at all let alone early childhood development but,

It is possible to do your very best to help or raise someone and still have bad or imperfect outcomes, especially when you have someone actively, secretly working against you (cough cough Sith Lord of the month cough), (for many reasons, but in this case particularly), because unravelling the mindset built in early childhood is hard, actually.

Coming at this from the “raised in a safe and loving environment” side of things, it took me years to figure out and internalize that my friends whose parents weren’t as great as mine were functioning in an entirely different landscape when it came to their interactions with adults.

Many years ago when I was in middle school a friend (acquaintance? idk I think most people thought I was annoying) told me that her ankle kept giving out and causing her pain. I asked if she'd told her parents so she could rest or go to the doctor. She told me she had, but her mother either hadn't listened or refused to help. My (approximate) responses?

"So it's not actually that bad then?"

"You should tell her again."

"Are you sure you explained it right?"

The only explanation I could comprehend at the time was that there must have been some unclear communication about the situation or its severity--if her mother had understood she was in pain, she couldn't possibly have just not done anything about it? Adults are responsible, caring, etcetera! They wouldn't do that?!

With more experience, I've come to understand better, and learned to respond in kinder, more helpful ways, but the shift in mindset was not and is not intuitive.

And I had the luxury of figuring all that out whilst being safe myself. Coming from the other direction, being in danger and trying to figure out why other people act like the world is safe? I can't say for sure, but I imagine it’s a lot more complicated.

Point with regard to Star Wars being, it really is harder for Anakin, coming in later, to acclimate to the Jedi ways and thought processes than it is for his peers who grew up in the safe environment of the Temple. And whatever arguments people want to have about how much psychology and therapy exist in the Star Wars universe, or how much “Jedi just do cognitive behavioral therapy” (not totally inaccurate, but reductive on several levels), no matter what the answers to those questions, it will still be harder for Anakin.

There is a reason the council changes its mind on training him only after he is suddenly famous and the Sith are proven to be back. When Anakin was not in significant danger of being snatched up by someone else, it was genuinely probably the easier and safer option—for him and everyone else—for him to live a different life.

The Jedi are not necessarily fully prepared for a child with Anakin's history, and, there is nothing bad about living an ordinary life. Anakin would not have been somehow unforgivably robbed by living life as a mechanic or an engineer or something, rather than being a Jedi.

Anakin is a victim of many things in his life—Sidious, Watto, Gardulla, Tatooine’s everything, his own conscious choices—but he is not a victim of malice, incompetence, or idiocy by the Jedi just because they couldn't—in only a decade or so—help him fully and perfectly unravel the mindset he developed in his early childhood. If there was any lack of qualification on their part, it was one they were aware of—but which was outweighed by the danger of little Anakin getting kidnapped out of normal-kid elementary school.

Being brought up in and around slavery absolutely made him more vulnerable to Sidous and became the basis of their dynamic as master and apprentice. Acting like the trauma that affects his mindset and actions for his entire life can be obliterated just by making minimal changes to the plot is wild to me.

And don’t get me wrong, fics and headcanons can do whatever they want, not everyone wants or is trying to write a deep psychological character study (also fanfic and even fiction in general cannot and should not be held to any standard of realism if it's not serving the story and the author)—simple fix-it’s (my love) are fun and an excellent short-cut to other things like happiness and fluff (my other loves)—but don’t act serious about the idea that adding one conversation about his feelings or one extra explanation about Jedi philosophy would automatically lead to Anakin having perfect mental health outcomes and always making good decisions.

Disclaimer (if the ones throughout weren't enough) : please go forth and do whatever you want. the moral of this post is actually just that (1) you won’t convince me, (2) I wanted to talk about this, (3) the clickbait title was too funny not to post, (4) i literally can't open my mouth without phrasing things like i'm in the middle of a heated debate, and (5) i continue to not be an expert in early childhood development—my evidence is very literally anecdotal

[redcherrykook]

── ˙✧°📷 TORN PICTURES AND FROZEN LENSES 3

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College Photography Teacher!Jungkook x Student!Reader

27 year old, stupidly handsome asshole teacher Mr. Jeon has absolutely no human decency, he believes your victim complex is what keeps you from ever achieving anything, letting people use you as a bridge. When something unexpected happens, the ice starts to melt as a foreign word called "empathy" enters his egocentric lense. Maybe he will finally manage to teach you a lesson now, since you keep failing his class.

(Mini series)- Episode three!

Song recommendation: The heart wants what it wants- selena gomez

Content: Cold, mean, distant, unprofessional Jungkook, hurt, stubborn reader, enemies to lovers, lowkey dramatic, accident happens, mutually beneficial relationship (emotionally), Jk learns a lot from her, Jk is mean but has a soft spot for reader (eventually), 6 year age gap, Reader is from a struggling background, Jk kind of rescues her, happy ending, angst at first, fluff, smut, comedy/crack, bickering, college setting

Warnings: swearing, name-calling,mentions of an accident involving a biker, mentions of hospital, mentions of injuries, really mean Jungkook, i promise he gets sweet, mentions of trauma and abuse (non detailed), mental health struggles (semi detailed), arguments, alcohol consumption

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You're running around in a beautiful field, kissed by sun, however, when you listen closely...

Riiing

Riiiing

"God what the hell" you grumble, rubbing your eyes instinctively. Finally understanding you were infact not in a pretty field but instead awoken by that damn alarm, you turn to your phone, shushing the unbearable ringing.

6:45 am.

Confused and hazed by the morning, your brain still foggy and not quite caught up, you sit there, blankly staring at the wall.

Jungkooks wall.

Right, you are in your teachers house.

In his bed even, well, his guest bed.

Without knowing what to do next, you try follow your usual morning routine, a miserable attempt at normality. Like making the bed and opening the window.

Toothpaste, toothbrush, hairbrush, deodorant, moisturizer and fresh clothes in hand. On your way to the bathroom, starting an easy and clean morning

Opening the door you didn't think twice about seeing Jungkook, purposefully you had set the alarm early. Class doesn't start until 8:45, although it wasn't Jungkooks class today, he should be in school around the same time.

That would mean leaving at around 8.

So a little more than an hour earlier should do the trick just right.

"Look whos finally done sleeping"

His raspy voice makes its way to your ears,

Assumed wrong i suppose.

He's stood at the table in the living room, setting down a kettle and plates. Given the impression that he has already made breakfast, you wonder just when he wakes up in the mornings.

Most importantly, he's in the very same clothes as yesterday, loose grey sweats that sit lowly on his hips, a oversized black tshirt covering his torso. His brown- darkish hair is still a little rough from sleeping. Additionally to not wearing any glasses, he looks,

different.

You had always known that Jungkook was very physically attractive. You're stubborn sure, maybe a little slow.

Certainly not blind.

On this day, he seems particularly pretty. At this point you're practically oggling at his tattoos that are on full display, a casual outfit displaying his well built body, it made him look so,

Attainable.

Enough, enough of fanatasizing about the looks of Jungkook.

"Uh, yeah, good morning" you clear your throat after awkwardly noticing how obvious your staring must have been.

He chuckles quietly, "Had a rough sleep i see" his usually glaring eyes wander up and down your face, pointing to your hair with his finger as he holds back a cocky laugh.

It is only know you noticed how ridiculous you must look, haven just woken up, hair in a mess and the same clothes from yesterday all twisted and turned.

While he stood there, looking..

Whatever

"Shut up" you roll your eyes at him, walking to the bathroom.

But his voice stops you,

"Did you get changed already?" The question made no sense to you, was it because you worse the same clothes you went to bed with?

"What do you mean?"

He shakes his head "Because you are wearing the same things as yesterday. Don't tell me you slept in that?"

Your eyes wander to the ground, sighing in embarrassment while also asking yourself how slow he really is.

"Unfortunately Jungkook, I have to. I can't tell if you're making fun of me or if you're seriously behind, why do you think i only got one bag? I got like, 10 shirts, 6 pants none of them bad enough to sleep in" Furrowing your eyebrows, you meet his annoyed expression

Scoffing he waks into his room, leaving your question on heard.

What a great start.

After that lovely conversation, you make your way into the bathroom, trying to wash away the weird feeling of sleeping in Jungkooks guest bed.

By washing your face, freshening up, changing (finally) and putting your medium greasy hair neatly into a ponytail.

In all honesty you're in desperate need for a shower. Restricted by the thought of getting naked in your teacher's shower, it made you so repulsed you preferred spraying yourself in deodorant from top to bottom to cover up.

It's not like he meant what he said yesterday, not like you would have to use his shower eventually,

You wouldn't actually be staying here.

If it was not for your stomach grumbling loudly, you could be spending the rest of the day locked in the bathroom, thinking about that sentence

Just fucking stay here

As soon as you walk out of the spacious, brightly lit bathroom, you are hit with something else.

No really, you're hit in the face with a black shirt. The scent of cotton and wood immediately clouding your sense, this shirt did not belong to you. The much larger size being another give away that yes, Jungkook just threw his shirt on your face. Catching it in your hands, you look at him confused, fully stopped in your tracks.

"Just wear this when you sleep, dumbass. I have too many anyways. Get to eating now we need to leave soon"

He mumbles while sitting down at the table and eating the eggs he had cooked earlier, his eyes not looking into yours once.

There is no way he could look into your eyes after imaging you wearing his shirt to sleep, disgusted at himself for that image. He simply wanted to help you out, thats all.

For some reason.

Registering what just happened, you giggle in disbelief, thanking him for the food and sitting down yourself. He just groans in response.

He doesn't think he will ever get used to that clingy gratittude.

"You know, you're doing great at becoming nicer. Im starting to actually like you" you say while chewing on a toast.

It would be a lie to say you did not like him. After being a complete menace, he has only shown you kindness. In his own, very strange way. Someone showing you care trying to understand the situation you are in, that was rare. Naturally, it meant even more when the person has previously contributed to you feeling horrible.

Living a life of prejudice and judgement meant appreciation and insight on the smallest signs of help and kindness.

His eyes dart up to meet yours, surpised at first before regulating into a blank look. He nods, smirking just a little bit.

"You're becoming more annoying by the day. Guess we really are learning"

You give him a expressionless "ha ha" in return for that snarky comment.

He's still an asshole, that's for certain.

He hums, remembering something.

"So about yesterday"

Immediately you knew where this was heading, he was gonna tell you to get out today and find somewhere to go. Obviously, you weren't upset at that, he has done enough for you. It would just be painfully awkward to make the walk of shame out, still having no idea where to spend the next night.

"yeah dont worry, I'm gonna find something"

Confidently you set your finished plate on top of his, ready to clean up.

His eyes roll,

"You never listen huh? I told you, you can stay here. Im sure a shelter will call back within the week. Im not risking having to pick you up again anyways or you doing some stupid illegal shit" he reaches to take the plates into the kitchen while finishing his sentence, organized as always.

"You would actually let me stay?" Your voice sounding a little irritated, not because he suggested you to stay, it´s the way he presented it to you. Irritated that he assumes for you to cause trouble and having to act like a caretaker for you.

"Want me to say it a third time? Look, if you don't want to i obviously don't care"

Jungkook can't help but feel offened at the thought of you rejecting his help. He's trying way too hard for some student of his, the more he thinks about it, coupled by your silence, the angrier he gets,

that also reflects audibly in his voice.

"I know there isn't much in that head of yours but god can you say at least something? Im not wasting my time trying to help you if you're gonna be a lost cause"

You frown, looking at him nervously and taken aback at his harsh words. It had been some time since you had last seen him angry. The rapid change from the downlow mean guy you had adjusted to, to an angry man in front of you had made you begin to tremble, recalling past encounters.

"I-I'm sorry i, I just was surprised you would be willing to take that burden on you. I didn't mean to, anger you or something" the words come out in a low stutter, feeling like one potential conversation into the direction of genuine friendship was now endangered.

Upon hearing the way you responded he sighs, two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose as he closes his eyes.

It made him feel heavy.

Jungkook was slowly begining to let you get through all the walls he had so firmly build up, all to hold up that unattainable and cold exterior of his. He knew it aswell, he could feel himself wanting to be nicer to you, getting to know you beyond you being the worst student in his class.

Beyond what he had thought to be an awfully annoying brat.

He just could not explain why, why you bothered him so much, why you got through to him so much quicker than anyone who has ever attempted and notably, failed.

"Damn I, I didn't mean to get so loud. Let's just forget it yeah? You're welcome to stay here, if not i'm gonna drop you off at least"

Once his eyes open they nervously make their way over to you own, soft ones.

Relief enters his system seeing you less intimidated. However, looking down to your visibly trembling hand, a pang enters his chest.

"Are you-"

"Oh look, its almost time to leave. Im gonna get my bag" you rush past him, entering the guest bedroom and closing the door.

For the second time today, in the span of what had only been an hour, you find yourself staring blankly at his wall.

The question of actually staying with Jungkook for a couple more days floating around in your head. Was it really okay for you to sleep, eat, shower, exist in his house for so long? Wouldn't he be too bothered by it?

He did suggest it and hes not one for kindness out of respect.

Where else were you going to go?

It would only be for this week anyways, since it's tuesday already, that's five days at maximum.

Fuck, I'm really gonna have to stay here.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

The car ride to University has gone by for what felt like eternity. Jungkook refused to turn on the radio once again, claiming that it would give him a headache this early in the morning. Just like it would have at night or you guessed he would use the same , lame excuse for every hour of the day.

He hasn't spoken a word about your stay nor have you, feeling too afraid to trigger another argument.

In order to protect his job and your reputation, if there is any left, he lets you off at a cornerstore 10 minutes from campus.

"I"ll go collect you later at F41 yeah?"

You nod, closing the car door and walking on to campus.

The University is decently sized, not as big as a state college but far from a small town school. A library, a buisness, medical, performing arts building and a cafeteria all inter connected.

On any other day you would be walking to the performing arts building, tuesday morning classes are always practical lessons like guitar, piano, trumbone, violine and many more depending on your skills and chosen instrument, of course.

However having recently seen an advertisement around campus for a crash course and orientation in art majors, directed to the next freshmen, you decided to take up the chance to meet some new people. Although a massive introvert, you need friends, at least a couple. As a music major, you had every right to attend as well.

In reality you just needed an excuse to not show up to miss Yun's dreaded piano lessons.

F41 is a giant hall reserved for events and rehearsals, having been in that room countless of times over the past two years, seeing it filled with all sorts of people, sounds, activities. A warm feeling spreading inside your chest when remembering so many people come together to create.

Jungkook would be attending the event around 10:25, right when his first lesson of the day ended. As a representative of an arts major, he should be there to finesse new freshmen into his classes. Whether that be by his charming looks or his passion for photography.

When entering the room, it was already filled to the brim with people from your university. Familiar faces you had seen in classes, girls everyone knew and wanted to be like, guys everyone wanted to get with, all the while mentally groaning at the idea of it getting even more crowded with time passing.

And so the time did pass, glancing up at a clock hung up high, it read 10:05 am. You must have talked to over two dozen people at this point.

Lost in your own little world, ready to look for more potential freshmen interested in music, and making even more uncomfortable small talk with classmates you were able to tolerate, something fell to the ground.

A loud thump echoing across the hall, everyone in the vicinity turning around to look what could have fallen to create a sound like that.

Correction,

Who could have made a sound like that..

"Oh god do you need help?" You ask, crouching down and reaching a hand forward to the handsome guy that just fell face first on the floor.

His jawline is so sharp it could cut, his eyes are monolided and a dark shade of hazel, with a head full of curly black hair and full lips, a high nosebridge and lots of moles on his face.

He definitely looks like an artist.

"Oh uhm, yeah, thanks" he mumbles shyly, accepting your hand with his slim fingers, pulling his slim form up with your help.

When he stood in front of you, his figure was a lot taller than yours, looking down to you appreciatively.

"I'm Kim Taehyung" he says while smiling, the palm of his hand rubbing his nape.

The way in which he speaks has you smiling, dark and raspy,

It reminded you of Jungkook this morning.

"Y/n. Are you a freshmen?" You ask him curiously, he looks to be around the same age as you.

He nods before replying "Pretty name for a pretty girl. Yeah, looking into photography" he explains.

You´re kind of blushing at the way he so shamelessly flirts after having fallen on his face just two minutes ago.

Your eyes widen as you begin to shake your hands furiously in an X motion

"Oh my god don't even THINK about photography. I have it and its horrible, plus the teacher is an asshole, to get on his good side you have to be-"

"That would be me. Nice to meet you, I'm Mr Jeon., head of photography and you're currently speaking to my worst student"

Jungkooks stern voice cuts you off rudely, he shoots you a glare while wrapping a hand around your shoulder firmly when referring to you.

You look back at him with a nervous smile, squirming at the sudden touch

Taehyung bows to Jungkook, "I'm looking forward to meeting you mr Jeon."

He turns back to you, giving a flirty wink,

"See you around then, pretty"

Jungkook scoffs and makes a gagging sound once Taehyung has left, looking after him as if his eyes were lasers and Taehyung was the target.

You look up at him with a scrunched nose "Seriously? The one time i get hit on you remind me I'm gross?" you say to him clearly pissed off, his eyes roll as lets his grip on your shoulder go.

"Yeah you idiot, what else would i be doing. Lets get out of here I'm bored already, had a horrible meeting just now" his jaw clenches at the memory.

For Jungkook, there is nothing worse than people misjudging him. He so carefully, so delicately created his distance so no one could over interpret meaning into his words. His rough attitude is that way so everything is as clear as day, everyone is aware of the one and only way Mr. Jeon acts.

Surprisingly, some people still did not catch on. A substitute teacher started a huge fuss over Jungkook calling someone's artwork tasteless, she accused him of a billion different things except for honesty. The one thing he always tried to be.

Emphasis on tried.

"Responsible , mr. Jeon" you nod to mock him, he just groans and speed walks off to his car with you jogging behind.

When sat in his car, the conversation of where to let you be had to have come up eventually. You couldn't tip toe around any longer, see where things would go, it would just lead to Jungkook being frustrated at your carelessness, even if you did not mean to be careless at all.

"I'm staying at yours" you say suddenly, turning your head around to find him already looking at you, he smiles briefly,

"Not the bench huh? Liar" his joke about the night in the library makes you snicker but cross your arms in defense.

"Under one condition" you add afterwards, having a genius plan in mind.

As anticipated he does not look happy to even hear you out.

"We get drunk tonight. Just, lets just buy some cheap soju and get tipsy, i need to reset all of this mess" a sigh escapes your lips when you think about the past week and the events that have let you here.

Too much happening in too little time.

Jungkook shrugs,

"Sounds better than what i imagined that weird head of yours could come up with. What do you wanna eat? Soju pairs great with chicken" he suggests, small bundles of excitement forming in Jungkook's brain as he imagines you being drunk and funny around him, comfortable around him.

He wondered if it would be a chance for him to loosen up too.

"Sounds fantastic! Havent eaten that in a while. I'll pay for soju yeah?" you grin, hands clasped together as you turn towards him when he begins driving.

He shakes his head, "Am not letting you pay. You cried to me about being poor and think i'll let you buy me anything?"

You open your mouth in a dramatic gasp,

"Wowww okay rich teacher, I never cried though you absolute drama queen"

Jungkook rolls his eyes and chuckles, he mutters a "whatever" while continuing to drive back to his apartment.

"No, thank you though. I feel bad for being on your ass so much" you punch his shoulder lightly, a small gesture of friendship that tells him you're starting to become more free and easy going around him.

"Yeah whatever stop saying it like that. You're making it weird"

You knew he didn't mean it, his eyes remained soften for the rest of the drive.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Settling down has never been your thing, being used to moving around all the time and never really finding ground to sprout on has made you easily adaptable though.

Like spending nights at a library studying or sleeping in your teachers apartment.

It has not prepared you, however, to be comfortable in every situation.

Oddly enough, the past 7 hours you've been comfortably sitting at Jungkook's living room table, studying your heart out while he prepares his lessons and corrects exams.

A peaceful work space for the both of you as you have barely said anything to one another. Only one dim light illuminating the room, his laptop counting as a small light as well. You asked him to light a candle, since it would create a cozier space.

As expected he reluctantly agreed

The silence never once being awkward during this time.

Here and there you had exchanged glances and maybe you have stared at him and he caught you.

Multiple times.

So what? You simply appreciate a good looking guy when you see him.

Somehow the whole day it has been especially evident, from breakfast to the car to now.

How could you not look at him when he sits there, his face full of concentration and his tongue licking his lip piercing, probably unaware he is even doing it?

Moreover, how could he not clear his throat in an attempt to not call you out, asking you why you look at him like you want to kiss him?

Mutually impossible.

"Its getting late already. Lets go soon" he says while stretching his arms above his his head and tilting his head back, his neck exposed delicately to you, you wonder if he´s trying to tease you.

looking away trying to shake off that stupid thought, you answer him.

"Yeah, i'll take a shower first i think"

His nose scrunches up as he hold it, as if signaling to not wanting to smell you

"PLEASE you stink"

A quiet laughter fills the room when you look at him again, his face just looking so unserious and non- Jungkook, not super blank and not super stern either.

Perhaps this was actually the most Jungkook you had ever seen him.

"Nevermind I won't, so i get on your nerves even more" you stick your tongue out when you say that, he replies with his middle finger and you burst out in laughter at his childishly stupid behavior.

27 whole years old and holding up a middle finger.

"Im kindly asking you please take a shower for fucks sake. Didn´t you say you DON´T want to get on my nerves?" he says again, giggling slightly, his smile not matching his eyes that are focused on yours.

"Is it really that bad?" wondering self consciously, you smell your shirt, shrugging afterwards "Its alright to me"

"Yes, yes it is bad, awful literlly disgusting" he goes back and forth with you on this for a while, even while you to grab your sweatpants and a spare tank top you have from the guestroom, he keeps arguing with you, follwing closely behind and using every insult for smelling bad he could think of.

"You're so childish Jungkook it's insane"

Managing to manuver your way into the bathroom frame and he's still chanting for you to shower, you decide enough is enough

"Shut up you just wanna have me naked in your house you creep" and then, just like that, the door shuts, locking yourself in.

Your giggles can be heard from outside of the bathroom, clearly satisfied at managing to stun him in place.

Jungkook just stands there, stunned at the fact you really just said something so vulgar to him, something so out of left field.

It began with you guys arguing like crazy and ended with him following you around his own apartment before getting drunk together.

Cruel world?

"HEY! NO- THATS-" he tries to argue, banging against the locked bathroom door.

"LALALAL CAN'T HEAR YOUUU" you scream back, turning on the water and finally blessing yourself with a much needed shower.

So much to feeling repulsed at the idea of showering here.

One of many things you had said you would not do,

Oh well.

Jungkook laughs a genuine laugh when turning to lean his head and back to the door, listening to the water running as his thoughts start to cloud up his mind.

His eyes close when he understands that, you really were naked inside his bathroom, just on the other side of the door.

He can't stop himself from biting his lip when his thoughts shift to picture how you must look, small hands gently roaming to wash your wet frame, massaging and reaching for every inch of your skin covered in water.

How you must have looked stripping away each item of yours so carefully, slipping your panties down your hips and legs, your shirt stretched over your head

After what has been only a couple seconds to him, the water stops and he's ripped out of his daydreams.

Shaking his head and covering his mouth with his eyes growing more wide by the second, he realizes he had spend minimum the last 10 minutes fantasizing about your naked body, touching yourself, washing yourself under the warm soapy water of his very own bathroom.

Looking down to glance at the tent in his pants, he quickly scurries away from the door,

"What the actual fuck is wrong with me?" he mumbles to himself, practically running into his room to change.

[thepersonnamedsam]

headcanons of the genz!driver

pairing: the genz!driver

summary: some cute and chaotic headcanons of the genz!driver

warnings: none :)

note: we love ourselves a chaotic queen

masterlist / taglist

we all know that a 18/19 year old will cause chaos on the grid, much more even if she is allowed to be there and not get evicted

like there was this one time, where she snook into the drivers conference, she was late, as usual, and instead of being silent and unnoticed, she let the door fall shut loudly and announced her great entry with: „welcome my fellow drivers, the best one has arrived and will grace your presence from now on. please, do not stop the meeting on my behalf, i am just here to look pretty.“

or there was a time when the FIA announced that no bikes on the track were allowed anymore and what do you think, at the next race, she arrived with her super fancy bike, blasting bicycle from queen singing the lyrics and riding her bike around the track, obviously

we love ourselves a confident queen

and she is so relatable

like, she posts vlogs on youtube of her life, stuff with a day at the paddock or a day outside the paddock and look, even though she is famous, her life is so relatable

she can’t drive, (seb learned it with her though), she struggles with her hair, almost every day, doing normal stuff is really hard because of mental health problems, her anxiety sparks in situations she doesn’t know, her jokes are weird and dark and almost no one understands them. it’s like she is almost a normal teenager

young fans, female ones especially, look up to her so much, just because she is honest, shares her struggles and is so supportive about it. depression and anxiety are valid and is not something to hide, it’s okay to struggle and she talks so openly about it. fans absolutely adore her and because of her, some find inspiration to do stuff they wouldn’t have done normally

so many young girls started karting because of her, she believes in everyone of them and is sure that they can make it big

lewis and seb are so proud of her, seeing her inspire so many people, makes them feel so so proud. seb has seen her grow up and has helped all the way from karting to formula 1

we all know that seb is the worrying one and always urges her to be careful. but lewis, oh lewis does stuff with her, that if seb actually knew what it was, he would die of a heart attack

he took her to go skydiving once, having her swear not to tell seb or lando, because he would so tell everyone else and seb would instantly know

or the one time let her have a drink with him when she was still underage, psst don’t tell seb

lewis is the cool grid dad, that lets her do stuff that she shouldn’t, always supervised though

because if you let her unsupervised, she is pure chaos

the one time her and lando got left alone, they had to get rescued by george

lando‘s car broke down

and not broke down like it just stopped working

no, his fiat jolly fell down, it laid on its side, on her side to be specific. lando and you were doing stupid stuff, putting all the weight on one side to see how much it would take to overthrow the car

it didn’t take much…

when seb found out, he didn’t let her out if his sight, always making sure she wasn’t doing something stupid that could get her injured

when seb retired, she cried like a baby. she was not sure what to do without him on the paddock, who would make sure she wouldn’t die? who made sure she was drinking enough and eating probably (it was a bit dramatic, because her personal trainer was doing that aspect of her life and not seb).

but still, she would miss seb, she would miss him a lot

that’s where danny comes, seeing her so lost and struggling, he kind of swept into her life as an older grid brother

helping her with stuff and being protective

he was not as great as seb or lewis, who is still the fun grid dad, but danny did his best

she is so happy to have all those people around her

and she is forever grateful and tries to let them know how grateful she is, but sometimes it backfires a bit

like the time she tried to gift all of them something for christmas

oh that was chaos

what do you gift 19 drivers, all at least 4 years older than her, something for christmas that is personal for them and her?

lance got alcohol, he was happy about it

she got lando some socks, he wasn’t sure why

alex got hair dye, made sense

she gifted max a stuffed lion, which he was actually happy about

but george got a shirt with a naked torso on it… she found it hilarious, he not so much

charles got a ‚sorry that your team is shit‘ bracelet

carlos got a chilli tree and a hard copy of smooth operator

zhou got a book of all of lewis‘ paddock looks

lewis got a whole gift basket with vegan stuff and toys for roscoe and a day with her

and many other weird gifts, but it shows that she is so grateful of all the people around her

we know that she always gives her best and that’s the most she can do

°°°

taglist: @ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @missskid , @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23

[malakaie]

had some feelings to write out – for/about @tommyend, no pressure at all to respond

I started watching wrestling – specifically, AEW – in late October 2023. It’s been just over a year since I started watching, and I didn’t expect it to consume as much of my brain-space as it has. When I started watching, I didn’t really know who anyone was. I had heard a few names – Randy Orton, CM Punk, Jade Cargill, Roman Reigns – but had no real concept of the landscape I was entering or what it would mean to get invested.

Truthfully, it was a little overwhelming, and there was more I didn’t understand than I did. In those first few weeks, I received one very helpful piece of advice: don’t try to understand everything. Find a wrestler or two whose vibe you like and stick with them – the rest will click into place eventually, or it won’t, and either way is fine.

And so I did. I think it was around the lead-up to Full Gear 2023 that I started really paying attention. There was something about what House of Black was doing that was different from anything else I was seeing. I could understand just enough to recognise talented athletes when I saw them, but I wasn’t quite plugged in enough to the overall wrestling “ecosystem” that that was enough on its own to get my attention. Now that I understand more of what I’m looking at, it’s easier to understand what I’m meant to be impressed by – it’s easier now to have that moment of, holy shit, how did they do that?

But I didn’t understand yet. I’d been watching wrestling for about a month and was still finding my footing. What I saw, and latched onto, in House of Black was a group of four impressive performers that I could tell were in love with the art of what they were doing. Everything was done with intent – the way they entered the ring, the different but cohesive styles with which each member of the House wrestled, the gear they wore, the ever-evolving paint on Malakai’s face, the evolution and growth of Julia’s character.

It was both the moment that I finally, properly understood that professional wrestling was also theatre—and, I think, the moment that I was magnetised. It felt like a faction that was made for me: a band of storytellers who wanted to take my hand and show me what wrestling could be and was and is, and had the creativity and cohesiveness and physical talent to pull it off.

I could breathe a sigh of relief. I wasn’t lost anymore, desperately trying to catch up to understanding something that everyone around me already seemed to know. I had a guide of some sort, and one that resonated: I’ve been reading since I was 3, writing stories since I was 11, have always been a little “strange,” drawn to creative types and niche hobbies and other people that don’t have many friends. And here was someone who not only felt like me, sounded like me, but was wanted and loved and succeeding. A stranger to me, in the way that performers and public figures always are, but I felt like it was going to be okay. If Malakai could make it—though I didn’t and don’t know him personally, I had no way of knowing if he was ever afraid, or if he doubted himself—then maybe I could, too.

The more I watched and the more I learned, the more true that became. I’ve been depressed and anxious most of my adult life. I have scoliosis that is likely to get worse as I get older, and causes me pain multiple times a week, if not every day. Hearing someone whose work I admired be open about his mental health—especially when sports industries have typically not been kind to people, perhaps especially men, who are vulnerable in that way—and be honest when he’s in pain shook something loose in me that I hadn’t quite realised was stuck and frozen in shame. It’s okay that I’m afraid. It’s okay that I have days where my brain is trying to consume itself. It’s okay that I’m in pain. Did I get out of bed today? Have I been outside? Have I eaten? Have I done something to be kind to myself—or, failing that, kind to someone else? Have I done something creative today?

I started my “gender journey,” for lack of a better phrase, in 2018. There was a lot, a lot, of messing around with pronouns, labels. I didn’t know what I was, only that “just a girl” didn’t feel quite right anymore. And then I felt like I was lying, because, well—I was fine being a girl when I was ten, and thirteen, and sixteen, so why was it suddenly different at 25? Sometimes I still feel like I’m lying. The generation above me often still holds an image of trans people that requires them to have always been miserable, always been “pretending.” A few months ago my mother suggested it was fine if my idea of being feminine had expanded, but she didn’t really believe I was trans, because I’d never been unhappy as a girl child, and besides that I looked like a “clone” of the small handful of other transmasc and nonbinary people she’s met. I must be a pod person. (Newsflash, mom: This is just what queer people look like, a lot of the time. I cut and dyed my hair and got one singular tattoo. How terrible.)

She didn’t ask me how I feel when people call me she, or her—it makes me feel horribly small and unreal, by now—and in fairness to her, I didn’t quite defend myself either. I cringed and shrunk and asked for time to think about it, when what I wanted to say is yes, I know I haven’t had the history you expect to see from me, but this is who I am, and I’m not telling you that I was never a girl. I’m telling you that girl isn’t the place where I stop.

But I was scared, and I felt cornered, and I didn’t say any of that.

What I did have, though, was an artist and a performer and a storyteller who did things with his expression, his clothing, how he presented himself to the world that was like a lightbulb going on. The confidence of a man who told stories with the way that he looked, and who used feminine symbols to do it. He wasn’t any less masculine—but it was an embracing of both that cemented who he was, and I thought: holy shit. I can do that. Our identities are not the same, and I’m not too keen on speculating about the identities of public figures that I don’t know in any event—but it’s reassuring, motivating even, to be able to regularly see someone comfortably expressing his gender (because, yes, cis presentation is gender expression too) in a way that makes sense to him and incorporates the feminine and resonates through his art without doubt or reservation or compromise. This is who we are. Take it or leave it.

I don’t know what’s coming next for any of us. AEW looks like such a different place—in a good way—from when I started watching, and the world is looking pretty scary these days, but I’m still here. The art that got me interested in wrestling in the first place is still here, and I have my theories—unsubstantiated, so far—about where Malakai and House of Black are taking their story, but regardless of theories I’ve been so fortunate to watch them continue to grow and evolve over the past year. There’s a lot I don’t know, but I know the love for the story and the art is real.

I don’t know you personally, Malakai, and I don’t want to claim to, no matter how many scraps I’ve gathered together from interviews and how much of the backlog of matches I’ve done my best to watch so I can understand where you’ve come from and where you’re going next. But your work and your love for your craft has moved me, and I’m glad I stayed alive when it was hard so I could be around to see it when it mattered.

[verdantwyrm]

In Defense of Curly.

I'm going to start off with the biggest thing that this post could ever mention. Obviously this thread is not at all claiming he is innocent, at all, but some of you need to learn what an unkowning bystander is before you all go and jump Curly and make him out to be just as bad as Jimmy, if not worse for his "Inaction" and i'm going to explain in this thread that accounting bystanders to be apart of the crime is not fair, and how the situation with Anya, Jimmy and Curly is actually very realistic on how real life rape situations go, and the spiraling that occours afterwards.

This is going to be a long thread involving the topics of rape and other mental health junk, so strap in!

Anya's rape.

I'm going to immediately preface this section with a very big important thing. I am a victim, so do not think I am talking out of my ass here when I am talking about Anya, kay we cool now? kay.

So, we as the player know what happens. We know that there was a situation between Anya and Jimmy which either lead to rape, or it was enforced upon her, the actual content of the situation we don't know anything about, all we know that it was not consensual. But how it started and the exact details, we know nothing about.

When Anya tells Curly that she is pregnant, she expresses its something bad, but never tells Curly HOW it happened. And Curly's immediete action is to be concerned for her, he is worried for her, and even though he shouldn't, he LETS HER keep the gun as well!

But WE KNOW exactly what happened, as the player, but Curly wasn't told. He was only told that a pregnancy occurred between her and Jimmy, but the actual details of the event- what we know, is not something that Curly knows. We're able to pick up all the signs and see the language and imagery used, but to Curly, it just sounds like they had a hook up and it ended up in a pregnancy.

And that is a totally fair assumption to make, and it is also a completely fair assumption that your best friend wouldn't do such a thing. (I'll touch on this a bit later) So why would his first assumption be rape? Being unhappy about the pregnancy doesn't exactly scream anything in particular, in Curly's mind, she could be unhappy for multiple reasons. That it happened with Jimmy (of all people), that she is stuck on a ship in outer space for what seems like the remainder of her pregnancy, which is an already unsafe environment to be pregnant in and carry a baby to term. So it is a totally understandable and fine thing to not automatically assume rape when there are already plenty of other things at play that could make her and Jimmy unhappy with the outcome.

And plus, when Anya asks what Curly would have done, people seem to be ignoring (or just plain outright not even noticing) the language used. She's asking him what he would have done. The event is already over, it happened, she is asking what he would have done if he had been there, or if he knew earlier; or maybe if he knew at all.

For safety, for whatever reason the cockpit has locks, whatever reason the Meday has a lock, but not any of the bedrooms. Curly acknowledges the absurdity behind the decision, but he doesn't quite understand or grasp why Anya could be asking such a thing beyond simple curiosity because of course someone like Anya would be pointing out something like this, she spends the most time in the med bay, and Curly likewise with the Cockpit.

There are a ton of nuances that go into play when trying to realistically picture what could have or what should have happened on the Tulpar with Jimmy, and I really wish more people were willing to understand that it's not just as black and white, and not people that end up enabling said abusers are not always a willing and knowing crowd. And start maybe thinking about the fact that maybe

Curly really did not know the depth of the situation.

Jimmy's Spiral

The other thing I see tons and tons and tons of people talk about is "why didn't Curly do more about Jimmy!" "Why didn't he see this coming!"

Because, proven by my point of him not noticing Anya's rape, he would not have noticed Jimmy to do such a thing as murder-suicide. They have been friends for a "long time" according to Curly, but what if this was truly the first time he's ever seen Jimmy get this mad? When Anya tells Curly she told Jimmy, his first immediate response is to panic, he knows that Jimmy is an angry man, possibly a violent one as well.

He expected there to be yelling, or worse, physical violence, but Jimmy just.. walked away. And that's what scared him the most, the fact that he didn't react terrified Curly. So he ran to go and check on Jimmy and try to calm him down, which he thought worked, until it didn't. Curly would not have ever expected Jimmy to do this, how could he?This is probably the very first time that he's seen Jimmy spiral so hard, so intensely and in such a short time. He's seen him get mad, get angry, get violent, but those have all been in different situations, which have not as dire consequences as being the co-pilot of a ship with everyone on board. How the hell was he supposed to assume that he would ever do something like this? And that's even further proved by Curly's shock when Jimmy does divert the ship to crash it.

He is in genuine shock that Jimmy would even do this, and it seems like even Jimmy is as well. Despite having made multiple conscious decisions, turning the steering wheel right, getting out of his chair, grabbing the override key, disabling auto pilot and then steering again into the asteroid, he is still in shock that he actually went through with this. He wasn't actually expecting to do it, and then he did, and now he's grasping the consequences of his actions way too late.

And Curly is also just as shocked.

"I didn't- I should have..." is an immediate blame towards himself for not thinking that Jimmy would do something like this, but again, how do you plan for something like this? If Curly knew Jimmy was capable of such collateral destruction, he would not have him as his co-pilot, so it only makes sense that this was the first real and dangerous time he ever saw Jimmy truly spiral into madness. There were all the warning signs, all the red flags, but nothing could have prepared him for this. Why would Curly's first reaction to anything be the worst outcome, you don't do that when you trust someone. And again, this could be seriously the first time he's ever seen Jimmy react like this.

All we know is that Jimmy has had it rough back on earth, that he was jobless for a long time. Nothing else, nothing about him being a criminal, nothing about him being in trouble with the police, just that he has had it hard which can really mean anything.

It was the wrong time, the wrong person, the wrong break with all the wrong tools.

In conclusion, Curly is not entirely innocent. But I think it is extremely fair and very realistic to not automatically assume the worst of someone you thought you could trust. And he genuinely thought he could trust Jimmy, and he reacted pretty realistically and fairly given the circumstances. He absolutely cared about Anya and the rest, and would have done much much more if he had the time or the ability to do so.

Of course he didn't notice the smaller details, he's used to looking at the bigger picture.

[multifandom--mess]

Hannigram Fic Recs!

These are just a select few of my personal favorites. I'm sorry if these are too long but I mostly only read long fics

Shark Tank by xzombiexkittenx (71k) (Explicit) - Will and Hannibal meet in prison. Hannibal is still the Ripper, Will is still a profiler who had encephalitis. Only now they're cell mates (SO GOOD and i love love the ending of this one)

Five Times Hannibal Visits Will and One Time He's Already Home (or: Coffee Cake) by bones_2_be (82k) (Explicit) - When Will tells Hannibal to leave at the end of Digestivo, he goes. And then, a few years later, he shows back up. They have long conversations, drink a lot of wine, at the end of it all they find something that works.

In Sickness and in Health by BonesAndScales (76k)(Mature) - Everyone knows that Will and Hannibal are married. Not everyone knows that they are married to each other. (SO CUTE)

Letters to You by Wr4tttttthh (17k)(Explicit) - Will and Hannibal want to learn to love. It isn't easy, it never was. (Post-Fall where they both keep a journal and they write letters to each other. There's some angst but its so so so sweet such a good read)

Time Waits for No One by Shotgun_sinner (104k)(Explicit) - After Will turns Hannibal away in Digestivo, he does not surrender to Jack. Instead, he heads to Cuba with Chiyoh, where he recovers from emotional and physical wounds. Hannibal was resolved to let Will go, and he does. Until he reads a Wedding Engagement announcement, that is. (THIS ONE IS SO GOOOD)

On Hiatus by Observe_or_Participate (197k)(Explicit) - AU where Abigail and Hannibal met in similar circumstances to those narrated in S1, only without Will being in the picture. They bonded. 4 years later, it's early summer 2021. Hannibal and Abigail are living in Tuscany as father and daughter, where they run a high-end bed and breakfast in a remote location on the hills... amongst other things. FBI profiler Will Graham, on leave from work after the restrictions caused by the Covid-19 pandemic worsened his already iffy mental health, arrives on the premises, for reasons he is not fully ready to admit to himself. An incendiary attraction between our two boys is inevitable, but how honest can they really be with each other? (THIS IS SO UNDERRATED OMG)

between here and there by deadratz (78k)(Explicit) - Will's name is the last word Hannibal spoke in his presence. That was two months ago, directly after the fall, and Hannibal has not said a single word since. Now Will has to navigate through their lives together without Hannibal's voice to guide him. (PLEASE READ THIS ONE IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL)

Falling Away with You by Shotgun_sinner (191k)(Explicit) - Will Graham is a private detective with a fiancée who doesn't understand him, his empathy disorder, or his obsession with catching the Chesapeake Ripper. His night terrors force him into an ultimatum; couple's therapy, or their relationship is done. Will meets his new therapist, Hannibal Lecter, and his entire world is turned upside down. (this is one of the first hannigram fics i ever read and i still come back to it often it is so good)

Dianthus Barbatus by Cynthia_Cross (84k)(Explicit) - Set 10 years before the start of the show, Will and Hannibal meet in the dead of night while dumping the bodies of their respective victims in the same place. (THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT HERE)

With a Crown of Stars by romanticallyinept (33k)(Explicit) - When the call connects, Will says, “I know what kind of crazy I am, but I’m not this kind of crazy.” “Will?” Dr. Lecter says. “Yes, hi, sorry,” Will says. “It’s me. There’s a baby on my porch.” (A cute kidfic to end with. I was grinning the whole time)

I hope you guys enjoy these. If you read any of them(or have read them before) tell me your thoughts. I feel like i don't have anyone to scream with about fics

@imthebisexual @mildlyinterestedcreature

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

The Impact of Tech's Death: Was it necessary? Was it in vain? Why did Tech have to die?

Disclaimer: This will be a very emotion fueled rant and I'm sorry if my personal feelings get in the way. I love my boys, but there are times when I just sit there and shake my head. I do my best to understand their circumstances, but sometimes the Crosshair girlie in me really can't make sense of things.

The short answer: NO, it wasn't necessary. With S3 now behind us and my rewatch of S2 at its conclusion, it hit me just how little weight Tech's death had on the overall plot.

Let's breakdown the finale a bit:

The lead up: Tech found out that his long-lost brother Crosshair was captured by the Empire and sent to a shady place where no good was to come. He also discovers that Crosshair sent a distress message, warning his brothers to hide. Realizing that Crosshair was in danger, Tech decided to rally the others on a mission to find and track Hemlock's ship, hoping it would lead him back to his brother. The mission is a complete failure, with Tech being forced to sacrifice himself in order to save his family.

The Aftermath: the Batch is discovered by Hemlock, Omega is captured, Hunter cuts his losses, and Crosshair remains a prisoner

Here's the part that really messed with me: Tech's death DID NOT affect Hemlock's capture of Omega and it DID NOT change the ability to track the ship. The only impact it had was that Hunter decided to cut his losses and pull an early retirement. And even when Hunter is like "we're going to get Omega back," he doesn't mention Crosshair once.

Tech died to save Crosshair. Period.

(and the others I know, but this mission wouldn't have happened if Cross wasn't in trouble)

Which brings us to S3 where Tech is hardly mentioned, Crosshair himself is never shown on-screen learning of what happened, and there is no moment where anyone (except maybe Cross) processes their feelings about it. Why kill off a beloved character when their demise has almost no impact on anything? The only thing it really impacts is the speed of which things get done and Crosshair's mental health. It makes no sense. I think there was an interview where DBB said they tried to keep Tech alive, but couldn't write a script where that was the case. Ok? Then go back and talk some more about the plot. Or if you can't avoid killing him off, then show the characters processing it or why Tech's death mattered. The cynical side of me says Tech died in vain. I'm being brutally honest here. Tech could've survived and Cid would still sell out the Batch and Saw's detonators would still destroy the ship and tracker. From a story POV, it's pretty bad when a main character's death barely leaves an impact.

In CW, Fives' death enabled Rex and Ahsoka (and Maul by extension) to all survive Order 66. Satine's death led to Mandalore being thrown into chaos, thus leading to the Siege of Mandalore.

In Rebels, Kanan's death crippled Thrawn's Tie-defender project, made Pryce look bad, and taught Ezra important lessons about sacrifice. For Hera, we got to see her grieve the loss of her lover. Kanan's death mattered. Also, the buildup to Kanan's sacrifice was him becoming Caleb Dume again after everything he went through.

The buildup to Tech's death was great too because it was about the Batch trying to find Crosshair. And while the mission is a failure, it showed that they were willing to go back for someone they lost. They hadn't given up on him. But everything after falls pretty flat and only makes Tech's death even sadder.

Why did Tech have to die? Because he probably would've found Tantiss a lot quicker than everyone else. I really think that's the case and that's pretty bad writing if you ask me. I still love TBB immensely, but I'm willing to call it out when it falls short.

It also really pisses me off as a Crosshair fan that Hunter just completely throws him under the bus. I will let my biases speak for me because it really bothers me and I'm sorry if you disagree. I value your opinion too. I don't know if Hunter subconsciously blamed Crosshair for Tech's demise, but I would've felt a whole lot better if he decided to honor Tech's wish of saving him. Hunter was always going to go after Omega, so why not add Crosshair to the mix? Was it because he still thought Crosshair could be lying? I understand cutting his losses in the moment due to the pain of losing Tech. I get that 100%. But after, he just doesn't bother to think about Crosshair. Would he even have gone after Crosshair if the original last-minute retirement plan came to fruition? Crosshair suffered immensely and who knows what would've happened if he just got left there with no one coming for him. Tech was the only one who supported Operation: Rescue Crosshair. No one else suggested that idea except him. (I know Omega also supports it, but I'm talking about the boys). Yes, I know I'm being harsh and perhaps unfair, but it hurts ok? I know Hunter has no clue what's going on with Crosshair.

But here's why it bothers me so much outside of Crosshair getting the short end of the stick again: It makes Tech's death feel even more in vain because the reason for why Tech died is just forgotten about.

Let that sink in. Tech's death doesn't leave ANY lasting impact on the plot post-incident.

It makes even more frustrated and just heartbroken because of how cruel and unfair losing Tech really was. Had we gotten more time of the Batch processing emotions or taking something meaningful away from it, then that's different. But no. That's not what we got and I am heartbroken by it. At minimum, we should've gotten one scene in S3 where Crosshair (or anyone really) talks about it in a meaningful way. (No, "CF99 died with Tech" doesn't count). Yes, Tech's legacy can be seen through Omega's actions but that's not enough.

All and all, the only real weight Tech's death had was on Crosshair's mental health. And even then, it's only implied instead of said straight out. If Tech hadn't died, then Crosshair probably wouldn't have decided to enact Plan 99. (Or he would've due to other reasons).

In conclusion: Tech never had to die nor should he have died.

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

I love how so many interpersonal conflict in MDZS aren't caused by simple 'miscommunication' – they're caused by people being too quick to judge things based on rumours or one-sided information, without consideration for the actual evidence behind that.

The soup incident? JZX only believed the guest cultivator's side of things without consideration of JYL's words. 3zun's fate? LXC only considered JGY's side of the story, without considering NMJ's may have some truth to it (because in his mind, JGY had a justifiable reason for all his actions). Sunshot-era Wangxian conflict? LWJ believed the unfounded* narrative he was taught around what guidao does, contrary to what the only source of evidence was saying, and it's this that leads to WWX constructing a barrier between them. Their final confrontation at Nightless City? WWX came to the conclusion that LWJ was against him, hated him too, despite the fact that "any sane person would be able to tell that Lan WangJi’s voice was clearly shaking" (EXR, Chapter 78), due to his mental state at the time.

This same mindset is also leveraged by other people, for varying purposes – whether it be JGS blatantly lying about WWX's words in the hopes people would believe him, or NHS spreading false rumours about the man-eating castles at Xinglu Ridge in order to stop people disturbing the sabre spirits (of course he uses this mindset in his plan to utterly destroy JGY as well, both directly and to contribute to the view NHS is useless). And that mindset also creates the main driving antagonistic force – the rumour-driven mob mentality so present in the world.

I just love how present this theme (the harm of coming to conclusions based on incomplete evidence) is in the novel, even when it's not drawn attention to**!

(more discussion under the cut)

Now, there are obviously other factors to the conflicts above – and in most cases, these reactions are understandable (WWX's misreadings due to his mental state at Nightless City, for one thing, but others, too). For example there was evidence that appeared to be there supporting LWJ's views on guidao: WWX did appear paler, there would definitely have been differences in his health vs the health of those with a working Golden Core, and he was quick to anger and did seem more arrogant than before, even though that was moreso a combination of trauma and constructing an image that meant nobody would look into the matter of his Golden Core too closely. So argubaly, he did weigh the evidence he had, and it just led him to the wrong conclusion! But none of that means this aspect wasn't a major factor in those conflicts – just as it doesn't mean that LWJ didn't instantly disregard the other side of the story (WWX's words), and came to the wrong conclusion partially because of it.

That also doesn't mean the characters can't learn from this or change their conclusion – LWJ comes to accept WWX's words towards the end of WWX's first life, LXC does open up to the potential flaws within JGY when Wangxian raise it, and after he's seen NMJ's corpse, due to receiving strong evidence (the wrong melody and cleanly missing pages in the Collection of Turmoil, for instance). If he only started suspecting JGY after he shows his cards at the Guanyin Temple, he wouldn't have done things like block JGY from the Cloud Recesses, for instance.

(And, a final note: the problem isn't that these characters chose the 'wrong side' of the issue to see it from – their process would still have been flawed even if they came to the right conclusion from its other side. The problem here is that none of them consider both and weigh them up to judge.)

––

*Regardless of whether you believe guidao has an adverse effect on mental state, and it isn't just trauma – WWX is the inventor of guidao! So any pre-invention speculation about the effects of guidao was, by the word's definition, unfounded... and these teachings were certainly pre-invention! So though I do have an opinion regarding this, it doesn't affect the point.

**Chapter 30 is a good example of when it is: '[LWJ:] “One should not comment without understanding the whole picture.”' (EXR) – but it appears in many of Wangxian's actions throughout the present day section of the novel (especially in regard to teaching the Juniors).

[league-of-sam]

Don't Be Shy | Konig x Reader

Kӧnig x TF141 x AFAB!Reader

PART FOUR

Summary: Transferred against your will to a new task force to calm a troubled soldier, you felt way in over your head - especially when you came face to face with a 6'10" mountain of Austria. 18+ MINORS DNI! t.w // angst, mental health, language, violence, human trafficking, death, sexual themes/SMUT, military inaccuracies, language inaccuracies (google translate).

1 / 2 / 3 / 5

It was mission day.

Training over the last two weeks had been exhausting, but the payoff was right around the corner.

The mission was simple – get in, get the hostages, get out.

Fender had been given intel of another AQ human trafficking den on the border of Serbia, and it was KorTac’s job to get them out and get them to safety.

Simple enough, and something this task force has done a hundred times over. That didn’t stop the nerves from creeping up from within you, though. it didn't feel right, being on a mission without the 141, without your family.

How much could you truly trust the people around you?

Now you sat, clutching your rifle to your chest, surrounded by the rest of the team; all of you clad in the best tactical gear that Laswell had to offer.

You scanned the room, desperate for a glimpse of the giant man that had clouded both your heart and your brain, frowning when you came up empty.

Kӧnig had been…odd to deal with.

But you were quick to learn that that was just him. He was sweet, quiet, kind, thoughtful, fidgety. It made you like him all the more, and you were so incredibly bad at hiding it. Ghost almost had a heart attack when you admitted about your little crush, the man had to be held back by Soap, Gaz, and Price to stop him ‘coming down there to get you and shoot him’.

And people said Price was the father of the group!

After spending three hours convincing Ghost you were just fine, Kӧnig had knocked your door, ready for his next lesson. You’d made an agreement – he opened up to you, working on his issues with social interaction, and you would teach him to be a better sniper.

It worked, you thought, and you were finally breaking down some of his walls.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are you so quiet and closed off?” You asked tentatively, putting your rifle back into its protective carrier.

“Was, how you say, bullied? As a child, I was always big, and the other children made many comments and hurt me.”

Your heart hurt hearing him say this. You were no stranger to bullies, having been picked on your entire childhood also.

“Yeah, I know the feeling.”

“You do?” he said, voice surprised.

You smiled softly, “Yeah. Kids aren’t nice. Adults are even worse. Still happens every now and then, people underestimating me or thinking I don’t deserve to be here.”

“That’s horrible.”

“It is. I can understand why you wear the hood all the time, keeps people away from something else they can use.”

“Ja.”

“I sometimes wish I had something, but Ghost always told me not to go down that road. He says it’s a hard one to come back from.”

“It is true. It’s scary, revealing yourself.”

“I’m sure it is, but it’s scary wanting to cover up, too.”

“Why would you want to?”

You frowned, looking away from him as you continued to pack your things, “Because I don’t like the way I look. Sometimes, I wish people couldn’t see me.”

He looked at you, dumbfounded, “Aber du bist so hübsch. (But you’re so pretty.)”

“What?”

He blushed, looking at his shoes, “Oh, um, you are just kind. I am sad for you.”

“I’m sad for you too, Kӧnig.” You smiled, “But it’s alright. Those people mean nothing now. I used their hate to help my anxiety, and now I’m here to help you improve yours.”

“(Y/N), I think you are helping.”

“Yeah? I think so too.”

He stepped a little closer to you, his movements stopping you in your tracks.

“Ich habe noch nie ein so schӧnes gesicht gesehen, Schatz. (I have never seen such a beautiful face, sweetheart.)” He whispered, his fingers barely touching your chin as he tipped it, making you look up at him.

Your breath was caught in your throat, heat rising to your cheeks as you melted into his touch. You reached up, your hand cupping his as it moved to your cheek.

Your heart thudded in your chest as he stepped closer to you, the other hand slipping around to rest on your waist.

Before you knew it, your body was pressed against his, the two of you searching each other’s eyes for any sign to stop.

There was none, but as soon as your fingers grazed the bottom of that damned hood, moving to lift it away, the familiar jingle of the ringtone set for Price echoed around the walls.

You fumbled, stepping back from the giant, “F-fuck…I- sorry, it’s Price I-I have to take it.”

Kӧnig released a long breath as you moved away from him, whispering to himself, “Oh, mein gott. (Oh, my God.)”

He barely paid notice to you speaking with your Captain, until something you said caught his attention, making his heart shatter.

“Yes, Price,” you laughed, “As soon as the job is done, I’ll be on my merry way.”

You were leaving?

“Yeah!” you spoke again, turning to smile at him briefly, “He’s doing well, I think he’ll be fine here. No- Captain, listen…you know what Ghost is like! It’s just a job, right? So, when I’m done, I’ll be back, promise.”

What?

‘It’? Were you talking about him like that?

Did you really think of him as nothing but a mission, something for you to fix and then leave behind once the work was done?

“I’m just a job?” he said, voice small as he watched you put your phone down.

You stood confused for a moment, until you looked back at your phone, reliving the conversation with Price.

“N-no, Kӧnig, t-that’s not what I meant by that-”

“I’m just another task for you to complete before you go leaving to your elite task force, ja?”

His voice raised with every word as he angrily collected his own things. Hurt seeped from him, and you could understand exactly why.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” you pleaded, “Yes, I was brought here to do a job, but you are not just a job to me. You’re a human being!”

“A human being you were brought here to babysit.”

“Yes! I was! But that wasn’t my fault! I didn’t fucking want to!”

Your frustration got the better of you, and you snapped. No, you didn’t want to be someone’s babysitter. You were an SAS-trained sniper, for crying out loud. But you’d seen someone in need and stayed.

And you were so glad you did.

But he didn’t see it that way, who could blame him?

“Okay, sergeant. Danke for the lesson.” He said, and he nodded to you, turning towards the exit.

“Kӧnig, please- don’t leave, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean-”

He ignored you, shaking his head as he flung the door open, the noise echoing around the shooting range. You winced, tears welling in your eyes as you watched his hulking form stalk away from you.

That’s the last he spoke to you.

It was the last you’d even seen him.

For three days.

He didn’t come to the shooting range, he hadn’t been showing up for training, and he hadn’t been eating from the canteen.

You never meant to hurt him or pry too far, but it was why you were here. To help him understand about teamwork and morale, to help him understand that not every person was out to get him. But you never meant to make him feel like he was just a job, just another assignment.

In a last ditch effort, you scanned the room again, and your heart skipped a beat as blue eyes pierced yours.

He was leaning against the concrete pillar on his left, arms crossed over his vest, hip stuck out as one of his feet rested in front of the other. Your eyes examined his frame, subconsciously licking your lips as you took in his appearance. He looked even bigger with all the gear on…even better.

Kӧnig blushed furiously under your gaze, flustered as he tore his eyes away from you to look back at his superior, who’s voice was booming around the room.

“Karma!” his voice made you jump, head snapping forward, “You will be taking primary overwatch. The snipers are to follow your command.”

“Yes, sir.” You answered.

Fuck.

“Now, the mission is simple. We will take the trucks down through the mountain pass, and there is a guard under our pay to let us pass without issue on the border. Roze.” Fender spoke, passing the baton to his second in command.

“From there, Contact Team 1 will press west, taking the building from behind. Contact Team 2 will follow after breach, collecting the hostages and running them to the van that is waiting. I will be driving that.”

“The Sniper team will head east, setting up overwatch to take out any stragglers that push through from the breach, am I clear?” Fender finished.

Several voices answered in unison, nods and encouraging looks thrown around the room between comrades.

You only squeezed your gun tighter, teeth sinking into the flesh of your lips.

KorTac was so different to 141.

The journey to missions would be silent, all of you quiet from the weight of what you were about to endure.

But not here.

People were chatting away, making jokes, making plans for the evening as if they were so certain they’d even make it home. It completely terrified you. The only thing keeping you alive was the promise you made to get back to your boys.

No wonder Kӧnig hated it here…so did you.

Somehow, the journey felt like it took forever, but no time at all at the same time. Something wasn’t right, you could feel it deep within you. Even the encouraging texts from the 141 group chat weren’t helping, despite Soap insisting that his flurry of memes was appropriate.

It wasn’t long until you were in position, the front of your body damp from the moisture in the grass surrounding you.

“Karma to Actual, Sniper team in position, waiting on count.” You spoke quietly, nodding to your team to settle.

“Copy that, Karma. Contact Team 1 is on route for your position.” Fender replied.

As soon as he said that, the sound of combat boots connecting with the ground flooded the air around you, legs wading past with guns held high on the target. Your heart skipped as you caught a flash of red and white stripes as Kӧnig moved past you.

He moved swiftly and silently, completely in his element.

Now was the time you’d see him in action; you’d see the crazy that everyone warned you about.

“In position, sir.” He spoke, his accent thick as he whispered into his comms, taking up position in front of the doors.

Moving the scope to settle on him, you peeked through, gasping as you saw he had no weapon at all on him. It was just him and his fists.

They genuinely did just use him as a human battering ram.

“On your count then, soldier.”

You watched him as he took a final breath before his voice flowed in your ear, “Eins…zwei…drei…

Einsetzen! (one…two…three…engage!)”

On cue, the splintering of wood echoed around the trees, and the popping of gunfire and the screams of women followed.

“Okay everyone, on your mark! Let’s clear the way.” You commanded.

One by one, you shot your rifle with ample precision, taking out the AQ soldiers that tried to escape the hands of Kӧnig, and the rest of Contact Team 1.

“This why they call you Karma?” Calisto’s voice sounded.

You let out a laugh, “Indeed it is.”

“Badass!”

As yours and König’s team cleaned out the AQ, contact team 2 made their way in to collect the hostages. That’s when you got the ‘all clear’ to move in, offering any aid needed to the poor victims.

You moved quickly, throwing your rifle over your shoulder as you stumbled down the hill towards the building, your team following swiftly behind you. The doors swung open, and a crowd of dirty and frightened women poured out, Roze pulling up with the van and ushering them in.

It was seemingly over, and you threw a small smile to Kӧnig as he helped one of the smaller girls out of the building. He looked back at you, holding your gaze for a moment, until screams and cries and yells of commands tore your attention away.

Running towards the group with a fully loaded semi-auto was a straggler, the last AQ soldier that had apparently been missed, and he was headed right for Kӧnig and the little girl.

You tossed your gun aside, not even taking a second to think, and ran as fast as your legs would take you towards them.

You ignored every order to stand down, every yell from Fender to fall back.

But no one was as quick as you to react.

You reached them just as the bullets started spraying, the force in which you banged into Kӧnig knocking him to the floor as you scooped the girl in your arms to shield her.

Somehow, you’d managed to save them both from the oncoming assault, but your complete disregard for your own life came to bite back at you as you screamed, a searing, burning pain shooting through your thigh as a bullet struck you.

Roze yelled, reaching for the child as you tossed her forward, falling to the ground when another bullet shot into your back.

Your vest protected you from deadly harm, but the force of the impact had you fall to your knees, landing on your front in a daze.

The rest of the team didn’t even get a chance to unload their own weapons into the enemy, as Kӧnig shot up, tears pricking his eyes as he ran at the soldier, tossing him into the air and bringing him back down over his bent knee.

A sickening crack of bones echoed through the valley, until silence fell, and the only sound was your laboured whimpering in the grass.

Until that wasn’t heard either.

Your body went limp.

And your vision faded to black.

[meixstar]

heyy, i saw that your requests are open and i was wondering if i could please request fluff with sukuna, comforting the reader when they have a bad mental health day if its okay, thank you🩵

❥ Synopsis In the end everything will be fine, if just for a moment.

❥ Pairing Sukuna x Reader

❥ Content gn!reader, mentions of mental health, some swearing, fluff, slight angst to comfort, Sukuna being Sukuna

❥ Word Count 905

❥ A/N Thank you for your request, Anon! :) I should have done more research about mental health but I still hope this comforts whoever needs it right now. I'm also still learning how to exactly write characters and their personalities so please be patient with me, and give me some tips if you like c: Take care of yourself and enjoy!

♡ Finding Comfort in the Storm ♡

It was clear that today hadn't been the best day - not after oversleeping, missing an important deadline, and then once again getting yelled at by your boss.

Why did these things always have to happen to you?

Sukuna could tell that you weren't feeling well. Or at least he knew that something must be bothering you by the look on your face. Was he annoyed that you won't tell him? Definitely.

"Oi, what is it with you today?" He speaks in his deep voice as he watches you flop down on the couch beside him, face buried in the soft material. You just shake your head, not daring to meet his eyes while your own fill with tears.

Today had been really stressful, and now you just want to let go and let everything out.

"Don't play dumb with me, I know you're upset over something," he says gruffly, pulling on your arm to make you sit up. His fingers wrap around your wrist like a vice as he examines your face, trying to figure out what's going on behind those tears.

"I'm not," you answer in a weak attempt to stop him from further investigating. "Today's just been.. shitty." Sukuna raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by your half-hearted response. "Save it, brat. You think I don't know when someone is lying to me? What's going on? Did someone bother you?"

The grip on your wrist tightens ever so slightly as he leans closer, his breath hitting your forehead. Finally, the tears are being spilled as they run down your cheeks. You desperately try to dry them with the sleeve of your sweater but to no avail.

He lets out a low growl under his breath, his expression darkening as he watches you cry, his gaze piercing through the tears, almost as if searching for the root of your distress. "Tell me." his demand is soft-spoken yet laced with an underlying intensity that brooks no refusal.

"I-I'm tired," quiet sobs leave your lips as you lower your head to flee his piercing gaze. "All week I've been just so tired. I can barely get out of bed, shower or find the motivation to eat. Work has been stressing me out as well. I just.. want to sleep."

His grip on your wrist eases, his touch gentling as he reaches out with his free hand to brush away the strands of hair clinging to your damp cheek. "And you thought you could handle it all on your own, huh?" a hint of amusement creeps into his voice, accompanied by a raised eyebrow, though his eyes remain fixed on yours, probing deeper.

You shrug weakly in a feeble attempt to respond to him. "I have to," you answer in a hoarse voice from your crying session. "But at the same time, I feel like I can't even take care of myself sometimes. I hate that feeling.."

A fleeting glimmer of curiosity flickers across Sukuna's face before he masks it with a neutral expression, his gaze never wavering from yours "So, you'd rather exhaust yourself than admit weakness and ask for help?" his words are laced with a subtle, probing quality, as if he's digging deeper into the recesses of your mind.

You let out a quiet sniff and wipe your nose with your sleeve. "What?" With a slow raise of your head, you come once again face-to-face with him. His expression is cold, yet there lies something else.. perhaps tenderness? Care? Who knows.

Sukunas eyes seem to bore into you, "You're still not getting it, are you?" he whispers ever so slightly. His breath dances across your skin, sending shivers down your spine as he inches closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "You don't have to be strong all the time." that was.. unusual for him. Him? The King of Curses saying you should let your guard down?

Once again, your lips begin to tremble. But it's still so hard to do just that - being not strong when everyone, including yourself to be just that at any given moment. "Let go, just for tonight. Let someone else carry the weight of your heavy burden for once." his words are laced with a promise, a silent vow to be that someone who'll hold you together when everything seems to be falling apart.

"I'm tired.." a weak whisper into his ear as you slowly begin to calm down. Sukuna's lets go of your wrist, and he wraps his arms around you instead, pulling you close as he settles back into the couch, cradling you against his chest. "Then sleep. I've got you." his words are low, reassuring, and for once, devoid of any arrogance or condescension.

"Since when are you so good at comforting?" you let out a big yawn as the tiredness you so desperately tried to avoid comes seeping through.

A low, rumbling chuckle vibrates through his chest, making you feel the vibrations against your ear. "I'm not. I'm just good at manipulating people to get what I want." he murmurs, his hand stroking your hair in gentle, soothing motions. "And right now, I want you to relax."

A small smile forms on your face before you drift off into a peaceful slumber. Sukuna's gaze lingers on your serene face, his expression softer than usual, before he looks away. His eyes drift towards the window, where the first hints of darkness are creeping in.

♡ fanart from @xshuh90 on pinterest ♡

♡ divider by @benkeibear ♡

[hiraeth-nostalgic]

SO (sorry i was gone i'm back to YAPPING)

who the FUCK is out here thinking reki had absolutely NO growth through the first season of sk8??? I saw a post talking about how even though he is the main character we "never see any development" regarding him and i just need to tell people who believe that: you are wrong.

Listen, reki is the main character™ so let me recount some things for us all.

first thing that comes to mind: when he is experiencing the jealousy that comes from the insecurity of being left behind, but he still shows up to see Langa race Joe. He still calls out to langa, and we see that even though he was insecure and feeling left behind he STILL came to support someone. he then sees that video talking about the guy who created the track shoes that were being worn and thinks it's stupid. that if he can't be at the top of skating, he shouldn't even skate anymore. he should just give up his dream bc a couple people are better than him. He has the talk with his manager that even if you aren't the MOST talented that doesn't mean you can't be involved and Reki still isn't quite there yet. I believe it was Joe who reminded reki that they are all on different levels and reki gets pulled into the beef with Adam. NOW the beef with Adam we see Reki trying to bridge the gap. He wants it so bad. it's not that he's not a great skater, because he is, but i think it comes from the general lack of self-love/self-confidence that held him back for a couple of things. HOWEVER he avoids Adam's moves, he literally JUMPS off the side and FLIPS (something he had never done before!) reki NEARLY wins and he would've if his board hadn't snapped!!! He embarrassed Adam!! something no one else had done!!!

the second thing: We see Reki become okay with not being the absolute best of the best and how he is a great skater, in his own way. (this starts to show in the race with Adam and then at the end we see it REALLY show) sure it may take him a little longer to learn a trick or something but he still learns it. he still loves skating. he redefines his LOVE of the sport not because he's the best of the best but because he actually has a support system in skating instead of before when he had no friends who shared the interest (you know, aside from a previous friend who could no longer skate) and its the story of even if you aren't as great as someone else you know, its still okay to do things for FUN and hanging out.

like this idea haunts all of us. for example: singing? most people are fine singers!!! but because they don't sing like Beyonce or Billie Eilish, suddenly they shouldn't sing for fun bc "they can't make a job out of it" like, the same for reki. Joe, Cherry, and Shadow are all adults who have lives outside of skating but for a CHILD it's the only thing for them at this point in their life, they are still trying to figure out who they are. its crucial to teens. Reki's not getting on a national team, he can't build a career out of actually skating so does that mean he shouldn't enjoy it? no!!! he works at the skate shop, he's really talented at building the boards, designing them, and understanding what will help individual people the best!! that's more than anyone else in the S community that we see actively skating.

Anyway, reki has so much growth in not only his skating but in his mental health but because it's not as flashy as Langa's or Adam's, people overlook it and downplay it.

[ossiethegreat]

I'm not sure if this has been asked before, but what are your Delta headcanons? :D

HIII THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!

so I am usually terrified of these questions because of my crippling social anxiety, but I love Delta too much to NOT yap about him..

Alright so I’ve seen some other people (howls and sandee) talk about how he would have toxic masculinity and have difficulty dealing with emotions. I COMPLETELY agree with this, he absolutely would.

He would most definitely overwork himself in an attempt to prove his bravery and whatnot. He gets himself badly hurt in fights and proceeds to brush it off because he doesn’t want to look weak. (Loser)

So I like to headcannon that he eventually gets a service dog to help him with this issue, since the injuries were very inconvenient, and Epic and Color were worried for his physical and mental health.

If he ever overwhelms himself by running around and constantly helping people, the dog would do its job and force him to take a break :3

(I drew him with the doggy once) (its name is Zorox) (take a guess why)

Anyway obviously he would be opposed to the idea of a service animal because “that’s stupid, service animals are for disabled people, I’m perfectly fine��� but Color and Epic forced him to for his own good.

He grew fond of the dog after a while, and accepted the idea since it was actually helping him.

-

Anyway enough of the dog, I wanna talk about him and Color.. 😣

So basically I’ve drawn ship art of them and I’d like to say I headcannon them as exes. Howls at some point said they could have been roommates in the Omega Timeline and I’ve just stuck with that because I’m not original.

I think the isolation Color went through made him very touch starved, and he attached to Delta because he was one of the first people he saw after a long time.

Delta, on the other hand, in general is a very social and friendly person (in his own ways), so he was just nice talkative to Color as he is to most people.

Anyway I think they dated because roommates lore /j

It ended up not working because Delta wasn’t very good with relationships, and his personality and morals clashed with Color’s. They broke up and stayed on good terms as friends 😋😋

-

As for Delta and Bravery, the two are literally just besties.

I think Delta initially had a father/kid relationship with Frisk, and he was extremely crushed when he failed to save them. It was like losing a kid basically, and he probably forced himself to help people all over to make up for his mistakes.

He ended up exhausting himself, and Core found him when he was having a mental crisis due to all of the guilt and stress he was put through, and he was later relocated at the OT.

As for Bravery, as Delta was recovering from his little guilt trip, he got to know the kid better and learned about who they were, their backstory, how they died.

He felt bad at first, convincing himself that he was just trying to replace Frisk to get over their death, but Bravery urged him not to have those thoughts because he wasn’t being “brave.”

Whining about the past wasn’t something a brave person would do. He should move on because dwelling on it wasn’t going to help him get better, or stronger.

Poor Bravery accidentally convinced him to push down his feelings 😭😭

But other than that, they just act like father and kid all the time, like best friends. Bravery offers him battle advice, keeps him from falling apart when things go wrong, and they work as a team.

In return, Delta takes the kids places they always wanted to see, lets them try new things, basically just letting them experience being a curious kid again, as they died WAY too early.

okay I’m done yapping because my phone’s about to die and it’s almost my curfew at camp 😣😣

PLEASE add to this if yall have more headcannons I love him :3

Delta belongs to animatedzorox

[bluepeachstudios]

PART 2 OF 2

“Good. You’re in one piece.”

“‘Scuse me?” Leo asked, bewildered. He looked back towards the darkness he’d come from, but it was gone. There was only vast nothingness around them, a grayish white that stretched on for eternity.

“I’m Atlas,” the turtle greeted, holding out a hand. “You must be Leonardo.”

“Yes…?” Leo slowly took his hand and shook it. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I need to get back–”

“You can’t,” Atlas said simply. His expression softened, sympathetic. “I know you want to, but there is no leaving this place.”

“Did…” Leo swallowed. “Did the goop get you too?”

“No.” Atlas shook his head. “I came here through other means.”

“Then how did I get here? What happened?” He turned again, searching. “Where is here?”

“You were absorbed physically and spiritually,” Atlas explained. “The ‘goop’ then used that energy to break free of its prison.”

Leo winced. “We have to stop it, I have to stop–”

Before Leo could continue, Atlas waved a hand. Pale gray streaks of light flickered through the air as he did, and a mirror rose out of the ground like an archway. Leo stumbled back in surprise.

“What–?”

He was interrupted once again by Atlas touching the mirror. The image in it shifted, showing a shrine. Leo recognized his brothers’ masks, his scarf that Sprout had given him.

Leo got another shock when he saw Sprout walk into the room and settle there in front of the shrine.

“Sprout?” Leo asked out loud, stepping closer.

“He can’t hear you,” Atlas said gently. “Think of it like a television screen.”

“He’s so much older…” Leo whispered, tears welling up in his eyes. “What did I do…?”

“I’ll let him explain it,” Atlas murmured.

So Sprout did, and as he did, the mirror showed Leo the memories. Sprout spoke to Leo about the goop spreading, about after Raph they lost Splinter, and Draxum, and April, and Casey, and Casey Junior, and finally Donatello. He told Leo about Mikey’s deteriorating mental health and the final attack on the bunker.

Leo sank to his knees as it all happened, tears streaming down his face, soaking through his mask. He broke into sobs.

“It’s my fault,” he cried. “I-I– hk–”

Atlas moved to sit beside him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You should keep watching,” Atlas said gently.

Leo wiped at his tears, breath shaking in his chest. Did he even need to breathe anymore?

Sprout was pushed through Mikey’s portal. He fell through, tumbling into a familiar sight. A tiny Leonardo, right arm gone, a freshly bleeding wound in its place. Unlike Leo, Sprout didn’t hesitate. He lunged for the little version of themselves, wrapping him up, falling through yet another Mikey’s portal.

Leo wept.

Sprout was shouting orders. He knew what he was doing because this was what Leo had done for him. He had the mind to cauterize the wound.

That was so smart, Sprout, Leo wanted to tell him. Look at you. You didn’t even think you could lead, and now here you are. Saving us.

Atlas touched the mirror again. Leo looked at him, wiping away his tears as quickly as he could. Atlas pulled a cloth from thin air and loosened Leo’s mask gently, letting it fall around his neck before patting his cheeks dry. Leo felt oddly like a little kid again, getting his face cleaned like this.

“You can help him,” Atlas told Leo softly.

“What?” Leo asked weakly. “Everything I did– I told him this wouldn’t happen again! I doomed him! I failed to protect him! How am I supposed to help?!”

Atlas cupped his face, and Leo sputtered to a stop, confused.

“He is alive, isn’t he?” Atlas asked. “He may be repeating your circumstances, but he’s learned from your mistakes. You taught him everything he needs to know to make everything right. He knows all the feelings he felt and he knows now how to help himself, because of you.”

“But the key–” Leo protested.

“He will know what to do,” Atlas insisted. He squished Leo’s cheeks and Leo blinked in surprise. “You guide him, even in your absence.”

Atlas released him and touched the mirror again. Leo looked into it, eyes widening as he saw Sprout once more, sitting alone in front of the shrine, slumped back, looking lost and exhausted.

“Put your hand here.” Atlas directed Leo’s hand to the center of the mirror. “And let yourself feel whatever you want to feel.”

Leo did as he was told, staring at Sprout as his voice was a whisper through the mirror.

“Is that how you felt when you first saw me?” Sprout asked. “Terror? Guilt? An urge to protect until the very end.”

Leo gritted his teeth. “Yes,” he whispered back, though Sprout couldn’t hear him. “Yes.”

“I’ll… try and protect him for as long as I can,” Sprout offered weakly. “I’ll protect them all, I am just…”

Leo wanted to hold his Pea Sprout. He wanted to pull him into a hug and apologize many times over for his mistakes. He wanted to curl around him and protect him from all the cruel things that had happened, to dry his tears, to tell him this time it would be okay, that Sprout would do better than Leo ever had.

He let all the agonizing want pour out, and he cried.

In another room, tiny Leo suddenly felt like he should check on his older counterpart. He got up and headed into Sprout’s room, caught him talking out loud to his shrine, to the people he’d lost.

“Scared,” Sprout breathed out.

Little Leo settled beside him without a word passed between them, and Sprout wrapped his arms around his shoulders, hugging him into his side. Leo swore he could feel the warmth in his own scales.

Leo’s hand fell from the mirror.

“You did well,” Atlas said gently, draping a blanket around his shoulders. “Now rest, breathe. You can find him again when he needs you.”

“What is this place?” Leo asked shakily as the mirror slipped away. He pulled the blanket around him closer.

“Ahh…” Atlas sat beside him, offering an uneasy smile. “Hell? Though now that you’re here, I doubt that.”

Leo stared at him, mortified, and Atlas rubbed the back of his neck.

“Okay, bad choice of words,” he muttered. “Have you ever heard of the multiverse theory?”

Heard of it? He’d lived it. Leo couldn’t help the disbelieving laugh that bubbled up from him.

“I know.” Atlas dismissed him with a hand wave. “Hear me out, though. Think of a universe as a pancake. The multiverse is a stack of them. Sometimes you can get through to the one next to you. Sometimes there’s a hole.”

He paused for a moment, just long enough for Leo to furrow his brow in concern.

“This is the plate,” Atlas said finally. He smiled slightly. “There’s no pancake on this level, it’s just… the cradle.”

Leo clutched the blanket closer, pulling his knees up to his chest slowly.

“How did I end up here?” Leo whispered.

“That was my fault,” Atlas admitted. “I brought you here after you stopped existing. You didn’t just die, you were consumed entirely. Your energy was turned into something else, but there were still… pieces of you left. Your ghost.”

“Why did you bring me here? I don’t understand.”

Atlas’ eyes shifted away. “I can put you back,” he said, hushed.

“No, just–” Leo frowned. “Tell me.”

“Loneliness,” Atlas replied. He said the word like it might break him. “I fell… over and over again, through so many different universes and realities, until I finally reached the bottom. No way back up.”

“You can send me back, though?” Leo asked slowly.

“You’ll be nothing, just like you were before. This version of you is gone. This is the only place you can exist consciously now. So yes, I can send you back, but I will be ending you in the process.” Atlas’ eyes were distant. “Keep that in mind when you make your decision.”

Leo didn’t know how long Atlas had been alone. It didn’t seem like there was anybody else there. Slowly, he bumped his shoulder against Atlas’.

“I’ll stick around.” He smiled sadly. “I’ve got a sprout to watch grow.”

Atlas nodded slowly, leaning against Leo. Leo leaned back, and rested his head against Atlas’ shoulder. The mirror returned, and Leo watched Sprout use everything Leo had taught him and more to make things right again.

[gunkbaby]

Thinking about Shuu BPD headcanon again. He’s 21 in TG, and given his loneliness I think it’s fair to assume Kaneki was his first favourite person. Like I acted very similar to Shuu when I had my first favourite person - including when the ‘relationship’ (i wouldn’t call what i went through a relationship personally. It was an internet mutual lol) ended, it went on to affect me for several years, to today, mentally and physically.

I get sad when I think about it, because I don’t like thinking about Shuu going through or feeling what I have - that horrible moment where you look back on your experience with someone, and you can only feel guilt, because you can see now that all you acted so inappropriately. Being overly clingy - dependent - on someone you barely know - because Shuu doesn’t know Kaneki in TG. Not deeply. He’s still in the moment of only wanting to eat him, everything he learns is compartmentalised as knowledge to use as manipulation and such. So his breakdown when Kaneki is taken away from him is a shock to his system - because this is the point where maybe one realises that this is not just about wanting him to eat anymore. It’s indicative of Shuu feeling something more for someone, which he’s probably never had before, and one can imagine how it might feel to realise - oh. I really fucked this person I adore up, because I didn’t understand myself well enough. And that shit hurts man.

Whilst a neurotypical person might be able to look at this realisation and handle it better, for someone with BPD/neurodivergence, this can affect one’s mental and physical health for years afterwards. A known symptom of BPD is not being able to recover ‘typically’ from breakups (meeeeeeeeeeeeee), often leading to self-harm, depression, and such, as well as taking a much longer time to actually recover from the breakup (generally. Ofc not everyone has it like this).

This also explains why in :RE, Shuu is seemingly just as obsessed with Kaneki - because he can’t fucking let go of it. He goes out of his way to ‘get Kaneki back’ for his own benefit, and I wonder if maybe, Shuu wants that Kaneki back so he can right his past wrongs. His newer awareness of his past actions weighs on him, and he wants to show that version of Kaneki that he has changed, that he’s not like That anymore - but he is, in a way. He’s still ill, and this is never brought up. Shuu gets better throughout :re, but we never see how, and either man’s on Elvanse or something, or he’s actively making an effort to restrain the ‘BPD side’ of him. I compare having BPD to having a dog on a muzzle - controlling it is horrible and it’s difficult, but if you don’t, the muzzle comes off and your dog is going to maul someone. Having BPD can be really terrifying sometimes - note: people with BPD are not monsters and if I see one more person say Shuu’s feelings are ‘creepy’ istg—

In early :re, Shuu’s actions can be viewed an overcompensating - trying to fix the damage he feels he might’ve done to Kaneki. He wants Kaneki back for himself, but not to eat him, to show Kaneki that he’s not the person he was. That he’s changed - but he hasn’t. He’s become self-aware, but this isn’t enough to change someone. Shuu still doesn’t understand that. He’s like a beautiful butterfly in that stage where the chrysalis is clear and starting to shake, but the butterfly isn’t out yet, and when it is out, it still has to wait for its wings to dry. Shuu is impulsive, and fails to properly think things out especially in a social situation (another symptom of bpd is impulsivity, particularly in regards to self-destruction). So he’s bombastic in rushing in and trying to get that Kaneki back, even if he doesn’t exist, and we can argue that this brazenness, this impulsivity, goes on to foster more destruction.

Therefore, it becomes even more weird that Shuu seems to recover after Kanae’s death in particular, because I feel like Shuu was already grappling with some guilt in regards to his past self. Kaneki throwing Shuu from the rooftop is met with Shuu’s acceptance of it - it’s a passive kind of suicidality. What better repentance is there - what is the best way to say sorry - than letting the person you hurt kill you? I know I’ve attempted or hurt myself in attempt to repent and say sorry for the people I’ve hurt, (I even became Christian, briefly!) But Shuu isn’t killed. Kanae is, and directly because they save him. Shuu’s love for Kanae is evident by this point, so one has to question how someone who already seemed to be passively suicidal, who presumably held a quite a hefty amount of self-loathing - would be able to recover from someone they love dying specifically to save them. Shuu tells Kanae to save themself (in my translation), he seemed passive in the prospect of Kaneki killing him, so this turn of events should be absolutely fucking devastating to him.

His entire family, bar one person, were killed to protect him. People gave up their lives, for him - a person who was extremely mentally unwell. Shuu is egotistical, arrogant, and selfish, but too often I see people conflate this with narcissism or self-love - narcissists don’t even tend to love themselves, it seems the opposite (I am not well-versed in npd pls correct me). I don’t think Shuu likes himself, particularly in :re. I’m honestly surprised he survived through :re sometimes, because I feel like the events of the Tsukiyama extermination would eventually kill someone who was already mentally unstable.

But after the Tsukiyama arc, there is very little acknowledgement of Shuu’s mental state. It’s like, oh, he’s fine now. Kanae isn’t even mentioned again, (I think), and it’s really weird. One can argue Shuu is just pretending to be fine, maybe Kaneki being back is enough to shift his focus from those events back to his favourite person - but that’s not mentally healthy. That’s not recovery. You can argue that maybe he learnt to cope, did DBT or whatever, but I doubt he would’ve had time for that in :re? Iirc it was kind of busy, I mean…Man got fired from like 4 jobs after losing his family - self-worth must’ve been in the shitter fr

Shuu is supposedly better by :re and the end of :re, but I can’t fucking buy that. Maybe I’m projecting too much, but I still haven’t recovered from my favourite person and it’ been three fucking years, and I have a parent who is willing to literally die for me, and it feels like shit. These things don’t just go away. They condense, and they stay. It’s like the dog won’t die unless you do, and even then, the pain stays.

I’m off track - the point is. I don’t like it. I get narrative time and that - Shuu isn’t the main character, but still. TG has so much depth and nuance in its characters and I wish more work had been put into Shuu post-Tsukiyama arc. (I also wish Kanae hadn’t died but fuck my stupid Baka life i guess)

I can’t help but feel like Shuu was ill at the start of Tokyo Ghoul, got even iller. And by the end of :re, he’s still very much ill.

sorry if this doesn’t make sense I cried halfway through and im tired

[j0kers-light]

Hi chaos! I hope you’re having a good day!

I saw your headcanons post for joker x reader who struggles with anemia & loved it so, so much! It’s always lovely when we get to see our favorite characters caring for us in little ways like that, especially when it comes to our daily struggles that often go largely ignored by society. I was wondering if you’d be willing to do a joker x f!reader with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome sometime? And as always, no pressure at all <3

— 🌹

Welcome my sweet 🌹anon!!

You ask, and I deliver! I had to do some extensive research with my mom to make sure I was accurate with this request! I learned so much via articles and short documentaries! Shoutout to my chronic pain sufferers! Chaos acknowledges you and I loves you!!

If anything doesn't sound right let me know 🌹 anon so I can correct it! I hope you enjoy! There are several sub-types of the disease but we'll focus on hEDS for this head canon 🖤✨

Since your disorder is rare and hereditary, there isn't any known treatment or any medical studies/research done to cure the illness. There isn't even a test done to diagnose its so vastly ignored! 😡😡

Society turns a blind eye to _EDS, simply chalking it up to hypermobility and being non-life threatening. WRONG.

hEDS is life threatening and sources fail to address the lifelong chronic pain and other debilitating issues that the rare disease causes. There are 13 sub types with their own crippling ailments.

Joker would hardly notice anything wrong until you go and hurt yourself, which is rather easy due to your fragile skin and joints.

Your body doesn't heal well after injury so bruises linger, scars are permanent, and dislocations are a common occurrence. Yay to pain. 🙃✨

Growing up, it was cool to show off your double joints and overly flexible body but as your age hit the double digits, you noticed the complications of your parlor tricks pretty quickly.

Muscle weakness was the first indicator followed by scarier issues like weak blood vessels and potential organ ruptures. Chronic pain is a reality that you have to endure since your body fails to function properly.

Life grinds to a halt when you have a flare up and Joker arches an eyebrow when you stay in bed for days at a time and work remotely.

Just moving is an impossible feat and your body punishes you for defying its demands for rest. You still have to live your life! Somehow.

Joker tries to crack jokes but you roll your eyes and ignore him. You’re just not in the mood.

He doesn't understand how you can go from practicing yoga in the sunroom to being bedridden in the same hour so he assumes you're faking being sick and that thought makes you cry.

Knowing that your lover believes that you are acting, hurts more than your aching joints and Joker immediately notices when your mental health begins to decline.

Now he's worried. When you can, you do as much as you're able, never knowing when your body will betray you and confine you to bed. Every moment is precious and Joker will never understand that.

Life returns back to "normal" but Joker demands answers. He's still in shock.

Weren't you on death's door just yesterday? Now you're returning to work, laughing and smiling, as if nothing is wrong. He doesn’t know what to think.

So he disappears to search the internet and after hours of clicking away, he's just as confused as when he started. (I feel you J..)

Joker refuses to believe there is nothing he can do to help his Bunny. This hEDS can't keep you down forever. Right? 👀

Why aren't there any studies, or any institutions pledging to find a cure for this?! Does he have to kidnap a doctor or two to get the ball rolling?

Joker remembers he does have a doctor on his payroll. He calls up Sarai and bombards her with the same questions he typed into Google.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BUNNY?🧑‍💻

Sarai doesn't give him much else to go on except keeping you comfortable, well medicated if you take any, and to continue your physical therapy but not too much exercise as to aggravate your joints.

Great... so he's back to square one!

Joker hears you groan from the next room and goes to check on his poor Bunny. He would find a way to make you feel better himself.

You had dozed off for a long quick nap and woke up to the sound of something falling over in the bathroom.

It still hurt to move but at least it wasn’t agonizing anymore. This current pain level you could tolerate.

You were willing yourself to toss the covers back when Joker appeared in the doorway looking rather sheepish.

“Hey doll. Uhh are ya feeling up to move?” He scanned you over as if he could gauge your pain tolerance by sight. Your small smile gave him some hope.

“Mmm. I gotta get up and fix something to eat.” You were weak and probably dehydrated from lying in bed all day, but that was to be expected.

Joker watched you swing a leg over and rushed to your side. “I uh.. ran a bath. If ya want. A Reddit post mentioned ah.. hoT water being helpful.”

It didn’t dawn on you just what Joker was saying. All you heard was the latter part of his sentence. “You have a Reddit account?”

He smacked his lips while helping you slowly walk towards the en-suite bath. To your surprise, the bath was waiting for you with a rolling cart next to it, hopefully with something to snack on.

You were speechless. “J… you did all this for me?”

He looked away and you got the impression that he was blushing. He still had his clown makeup on so you couldn’t tell for sure.

“Thank you J. I mean it.” He helped you sit on the nearby wooden bench after you kissed his cheek. “Um. I can undress myself.. if you need to—ah! Okay! You’re seriously doing this.”

Joker started with your socks and worked his way up until not a single thread of fabric was left on your body. You felt so exposed sitting there nude while Joker dipped his hand into the bath water.

It was hot enough to be medicinal but not scalding. He snapped his fingers and dashed over to the storage area to grab your bag of epsom salt before dumping a few cups in.

You got to see a rare softer side of Joker hard at work. No one would believe you if you reported this. The Joker, Gotham City’s worst nightmare, was preparing you a bath with the greatest care.

“All-right-yyy ya ready pretty girl?” Joker’s voice snapped you out of your daydream. He playfully flicked some water at you to get your attention.

You couldn’t flinch away and huffed your displeasure.

“I couldn’t resist, Bunny. Now in ya go! Hold onto my shoulders, yeah?” He picked you up as if you were made of glass and gently lowered you into the bath. “Easy doll, I know it’s hot. Just relax.”

Joker shushed any whimpers you made and held you steady underneath the water. For the next few unbearable moments, Joker was right there whispering sweet nothings to calm you down.

Finally you relaxed with a deep sigh, “This is perfect.”

“Good. If ya want, you can rest a bit. I’ll keep you.. well you know.. from drowning. But ya do need to eat something first. Here.” He dried his hand off and fed you a [insert favorite snack].

You felt like royalty and Joker had no issue helping you adjust to the role. He fed you piece by piece, offering you sips of water in between while holding your hand and rubbing soothing circles on your skin with his thumb.

The contact warmed your heart. Joker may not know much about your medical condition, but he would always be there to support you.

You couldn’t ask for a better partner.