#and i wish he had been able to really sit with and recognize how fucked some parts of his childhood were ... and ***consistently*** reflect

[transsextual]

i think i have problems and issues

[sleepingdayaway]

just read your majoras mask post and i wish i could hug young link so bad😭 I then thought of what would happen if its LU and reader stumbles upon Time, who hasn't seen them since Majoras Mask. The reunion would either be devastating or really cute since hes old and seeing a parental(ish) figure again😭🩷

UR SO BIG BRAIN ANON. FUCK, I CAN NEVER MAKE HIM HAPPY

making a big strong leader be sad and cry for his parental figure fuels me with so much joy

It's a quiet night for the Chain as they all chatted amongst each other while setting up camp for the night. Wild is preparing a a fire, so he could make plans for dinner with Warriors helping him by going through the recipes that he saved on his slate. Wind, Legend and Hyrule are sitting together and speaking about their homes; Wind mostly talking about how he misses his younger sister and his grandma.

Twilight has left to keep an survey the surrounding area. Separate from the group so he could transform into his wolf form without the others knowing. Sky and Four are besides the cook and captain as they had a soft conversation about Sky's sword during his time in the Knight Academy, and when he was forging the Goddess Blade/Master Sword.

Meanwhile Time is sitting a bit farther away; not too far that he couldn't hear them but he's able to have his own space. He’s been feeling heavy these days as it takes a mental toll on him. Attempting to be the voice of reason isn’t easy even though he is in a body that now matches his mind.

Time doesn’t understand the heaviness that he has been feeling as their journey continues; the years long exhaustion seeping into his bones as he watches the rest interact with each other. A small nagging in his skull refuses to allow him a moment of relief. Urging him to get up and not stay idle which causes the older man to let out a sigh.

Which turned out to be a good idea when two sets of footsteps could be heard approaching the camp. Time turned to look at where the noise was approaching which in turned caused the rest of the hero’s to tense up slightly.

If old man Time notices something first, the others will follow suit. Instead of the noise of monsters which most of them can recognize; it was instead the voice of Twilight with a familiar one in tow. Everyone relaxed when they realized it was the Rancher, but were curious on who was he bringing. It was unusual for him to bring a civilian into their camp.

Except as soon as they were in view it made sense. The civilian was roughed up and had scratches and scrapes all over their body as if they had been running away from something. Although they acted as if they were fine, smiling and making exaggerated gestures for Twilight. A slight distraction one as would a parent would to distract a child from something

It seemed to work as Twilight was fully engaged in conversation and only broke out of it when Hyrule reacted first and approached them. They smile at Hyrule and began introducing themselves as the boy checks up on the civilian, upon seeing the injuries on them.

That voice. Time’s ear gave a slight twitch upon hearing them speak, as a sudden coldness enveloped his body. He knows that voice. Holy shit, Time fucking recognized who is speaking to Hyrule and Twilight.

Time needs to step away; as he felt his own body began to tremble at the memories of his past adventures with them. He can’t show weakness in front of the others. If he starts acting up then everyone will become suspicious of them even though they have done no wrong.

Quickly he gets up before approaching Warriors and muttered some excuse about him needing to take a walk. Warriors, who understands that Time had a lot on his plate recently, agreed and reassured that he and Twilight will keep watch over everyone.

In an instant, Time is walking away from the group as he felt someone’s gaze on his back.

The sun is gone by the time he returns to the camp.

Time curses himself for leaving for so long. He wasn’t supposed to be gone for a long time; he merely needed time to recollect his thoughts and get his act together before approaching them again.

The scarred man lets out as sigh once he catches sight of the campfire. His body slowly begins to relax once he spots the rolled out bedrolls that are occupied by the rest of the group.

As he nears closer he counts the ones who a sleeping, noticing that the only one that isn’t asleep is Wild. Said man is by the fire and already staring at the older hero and quietly goes up to him, “Time, you’re back.” He states softly, trying not the wake the others from their sleep.

Time nods and scans the younger man for anything that could be bothering him, “Yes, sorry for being gone until nightfall, it wasn’t my intention I just-“

“Needed to clear your head?” Wild interrupts with a small smile of understanding. In which Time lets out a small sigh before humming in agreement.

“Is everything alright? How was….the civilian that the Ranch hand brought?” He asked.

As if barely remembering about them Wild slightly shuffled on his feet, “They’re fine! It’s just that……”

The Hero of Time raises a brow at him, “Did something happened while I was gone?” He questioned as he placed his hands on his hips.

“No! Nothing bad happened it’s just, they were determined to repay us by keeping watch and letting us all rest,” Wild responds before turning away and looks behind him; Time follows his gaze. Sitting away from them on a log near the edge of camp is them; staring out into the woods and appears to be keeping watch as Wild says.

”Huh….. I would’ve assumed that one of you would be weary of letting a stranger be in charge of your safety.” Wild lets out a slight wince at his words, and a hand comes up behind his neck as he remembers what happened a few hours prior.

“You’re not wrong, in fact the Veteran was the first one to express his distaste at the idea who was then backed up by Wars.”

Wild explains how after the two voiced their opinions and how they’re greatful at the thought, but they didn’t trust them. The civilian nodded in understanding before they began interacting with the rest. Somehow as the sun was begun to set and everyone ate their meals; did they all began to grow tired as their journey from today hit them unusually hard.

Warriors pulled Wild to the side and explained how Time was still out there and how they might need to go search from him, but that was when the Civilian spoke up. Saying how they’re sure that he’ll arrive soon and to soothe their worries they’ll stay up to wait for his return.

Reluctantly, Warriors agreed as his exhaustion doubled before crawling into his bedroll and promptly passing out. Leaving Wild and them awake as Wild fights off sleep; keeping them company as they waited for Time to return.

“I know it’s ridiculous for a group of hero’s to lower their guard to someone unfamiliar, but for some reason…. I feel as if……”

“As if you know them from somewhere?” Said Time gently, now understanding where he was coming from. Wild nodded as he looked down, finally realizing how tired he was.

Time put his hands on Wild’s shoulders and gave them a comforting squeeze, “I’m here now, go rest.” He says softly with a slight tone of appreciation, “Thank you, for waiting Wild.”

The young man nodded before walking limply to his own bedroll and collapsing as well.

He watched Wild fall asleep completely as an attempt to delay the inevitable, but Time knew it was futile and he knew that they would still be waiting. After a few moments passed did he begin to walk over to the edge of camp where they sat.

He sat down next to them without thinking twice, but didn’t look at their face. He had a feeling that string holding himself together would snap if he looked at them.

But it would be broken anyway since they made the first move.

“I’m sorry for leaving without goodbye.”

Time tenses before dropping his face into his hands, letting out a silent sob, in an attempt to hide himself from view.

A gentle hand lands in his hair as it begins to comb through it, and once more he’s pulled back into his memories during his journey through Termina. Of the same hand running through his hair in the aftermath of a battle that took a toll on him.

Losing all strength that is holding himself together; Time collapses on himself and curls up to them. Losing all rationality and just wants to be held by them again as he clings on their clothes.

“It’s okay, I’m here now Link.”

Their voice calls out to Time as their other arm wraps around his back to hold him closer. As he cries to himself as the memories of Termina returns full force, the amount of times he failed the people of the town. The moments where he messed up and had to start over again-

He failed to save that girl’s father.

He failed to reunite Kafei and Anju.

He failed to protect Romani from those monsters.

He failed-

Humming interrupts his train of thought as he opens his eyes in shock. The feeling of a hand rubbing his back and another in his hair brings him back to them, as he leans his head on their chest.

Relaxing into their hold as he listens to their heartbeat and to their humming of a familiar song.

Finally.

Someone else sings for his sorrows to heal.

[1d1195]

Ding - Round 7

Read Ding here | ~4.6k words

Warnings: punching, fighting, fixing my cliff hanger from the previous part.

From me: This is the last part, but I tried to keep the ending open a bit so I could come back if you want 💕 thanks for reading this one. Hope you liked it!

Summary: Harry isn't the only one fighting the night of the biggest match of his career.

Three minutes.

Each round was three minutes.

She thought over the last few months of watching Harry train had engraved a three-minute timer into her internal clock. Like her mind was able to simultaneously count out 180 seconds and continue working on whatever project she was tasked with at the time.

The crowd was so loud—just several feet behind a door. She thought about her phone. The one she left with Niall so it wouldn’t get lost while she tried to get towels, food, and use the restroom. Alongside Harry’s phone. Part of her believed even if she could have used it, Niall wouldn’t have heard it anyway. She straightened her back, standing taller and preparing herself. She pulled against his grip on her arm. Her heart was pounding but she felt it in her bones.

She could do this. She had to do this.

She heard Harry’s voice teaching her all the self-defense moves she had practiced for months in the back of her head. She thought about the classes, the training in her living room.

The goal isn’t to win. S’not a boxing match. Want t’minimize you getting hurt. Your only goal is t’get away safely. If y’get away, you’re gonna come find me, Cupcake. M’not gonna let anything happen t’you.

“What’s your problem?” She snapped.

“You told other girls about me?”

“No, I warned them.” He narrowed his eyes as he stared at her.

“You’re a bitch.” She tried to keep the nerves from getting to her.

She could run out the back door and try her best to get to the front again. Harry would understand. It would be better than being the sitting duck she was now. There was the whole no phone thing but at least the security guard would recognize her. He would keep an eye on her. No way he’d be willing to face the wrath of Harry for not doing so.

She pulled on her arm again trying to loosen his grip. She thought about the shower she took after their date. If it could really be called a date. Despite everything happening in the moment she had the intense desire to look up the definition of date because that could nothave been a date. A date had to have some sort of mutual feeling of companionship or amicable emotion. The way his body felt on hers made her skin crawl.

She didn’t want it then and she didn’t want it now.

“Let go,” she ordered.

“You’re—”

“I said let go,” she pulled hard, dragging both of them further back into the room but closer to the backdoor.

“Stop—”

“Let go, or you’ll regret it.”

He chuckled; it sounded sarcastic. Disbelief evident in his tone—even his short laughter. “What are you going to do?” He taunted. Honestly, part of her wanted to know the same thing. What was his plan? Attack her alone in the back of this place? It was obvious. Niall would come looking for her sooner or later. Someone would come back here because they needed towels. It was a matter of when not if. All she needed to do was hold him off.

Fortunately, she had been given all the lessons on how to do just that.

“Let go,” she repeated, feeling stronger than that awful night and more so than she had in the months since. “Harry—”

“Your boyfriend is busy.”

With a deep breath, she realized she had lost count of the seconds. Was the round over? She didn’t know. But she knew Harry was safe. Harry would never fuck around with consent. He said so himself. Harry was going to rip Jack’s arm off. Hell, Harry would rip his own arm off if she asked him to.

She narrowed her eyes at him. Clenched her jaw and yanked on her wrist in his hand again. “If you don’t let go, he’s going to see. Then you’ll wish you never touched me,” she vowed.

He smiled darkly. “He’s not going to see,” he promised.

Despite how much stronger she felt than the day she met him, she was still scared. Her stomach twisted; nausea ensued. There was a genuine fear growing inside her that felt very similar to how it felt right before she thought was going to throw up. The feeling rose to her throat, and it took all her control to swallow it back down. She inhaled deeply through her nose and brought all the steps and moves Harry had taught her in the self-defense classes to the forefront of her mind.

Jack was bigger, stronger, and way more terrifying than she was.

But she was determinedto get away.

“Let. Go.” She ground her teeth together tugging on her arm that she knew was going to bruise.

“Just—”

“I’m going to scream,” she could see the irritation on his face as she continued to interrupt him.

“Don’t you dare you stupid, little—”

She was glad her dominant hand was free and used it smashed her palm into his nose so hard she felt a crunch and was immediately met with a stream of blood. It poured immediately on her hand, and she should have been more grossed out but before she could think about it for long, she bolted back for the main room.

He groaned loudly but chased after her. He reached her at the door, grabbed her arm, and flung her back to the ground. She yelped as her body landed with a thud. Her head hit the ground making her wince involuntarily. She could hear people cheering. No one would hear her if she screamed. He knew that.

Harry wouldn’t get to her.

The mere thought terrified her.

She kicked. Making minimal contact with some part of him but did leave him incapacitated for just a moment—a moment she needed. He cursed lowly under his breath. Her mind was working at the same slow pace she crawled and clawed at the ground, blood dripping on her shirt from his nose as he stood over her clutching his groin. Harry told her the most vulnerable position she could be was defending herself on her back. She was mortified. Her adrenaline screamed through her veins.

The announcer was calling something about Harry and the match. There’s a ding, ding, ding signaling the end of the round or the beginning of the next. She didn’t know anymore. All she knew was she wanted to be in there. She wanted Harry to see her. She was certain he would stop in the middle of a round for her.

“You broke my nose,” He snarled.

It took every ounce of her self-restraint to keep her mouth from saying good with a smug smile. Her heart was in her throat. Clawing uselessly at the floor knowing she wasn’t going to get anywhere at that rate. She kicked again, trying to remember the training and the moves Harry made her practice in her apartment. Her instinct was taking over and arguably making it worse for her just as Harry had warned.

The air suddenly felt so thin. It was difficult for her to keep breathing steady—scared and anxious out of her mind. She could see little black dots in her vision with anxiety taking over. The roar of the crowd made everything she needed to do impossible to focus on.

But the little voice in her head had a nearly melodic British accent now. Slow, steady. Encouraging.

It screamed at her to get up and keep going.

She slammed her foot into his leg, just at his knee, knocking him off balance. He landed just as hard as she did. She knew he was going to get up quick, so she needed to be quicker. She leapt from the floor and burst through the double doors. She sprinted toward the ring. He was hot on her heels she could feel it, but she didn’t stop—couldn’t stop. Not when security shouted at her and not when the attention of people watching finally got them yelling for her.

She told Harry earlier that day she wasn’t lucky. But at that moment she was. Perhaps the luckiest person ever. She felt it in her bones, and she planned to thank every divine spirit in the universe when she reflected on it later. There was the briefest moment in every round right after the bell rang where there was the slightest down pitch in volume as the cheering stopped and people waited to see who would make the first move in the ring.

That moment happened the second she was close enough for her voice to carry the final distance to Harry. “Harry!” Her voice was cracked and broken but she knewhe heard it just because of the volume of her shriek. She believed everyone in the arena heard it.

She wasn’t quiet about it; just like Harry (and Louis) taught her. Her voice was so loud even the referee looked over and watched as the man chasing her grabbed a fistful of her hair and yanked her back to the floor. Her head hit hard against the hardwood. Stars reappeared in her vision, and she wondered if this was what a concussion felt like. For a moment she was stunned. Forgot that she was supposed to be fighting for her safety. Defending herself. The seconds ticked by so slowly, she wondered if she was going to pass out. There was a deafening quiet, muffled shouting; like a scene in a movie where the hero is aware of her surroundings but can’t quite get a grasp on it.

It was weird it was happening to her in real time, and she blinked rapidly trying to get her vision to focus and her hearing to return. But she was able to register in her confused mind that she was in the main arena. Because even if Harry didn’t hear her, she knew that everyone saw him take her down to the floor.

That was the goal. To get away and find a crowd.

She did it.

“You stupid, fucking bit—” the sound came roaring back so loudly it felt like he was shouting right in her ear. But he was standing above her again still dripping blood on her clothing. His face was in her vision for half a second. But that was all he got. Half a second. It wasn’t an exaggeration. Her heart was flying so fast, so she knewhis smug expression was hardly in her scattered vision for a mere fraction of a second. Not even one whole beat thudded against her ribcage and then he was gone.

Once more someone was standing over her, but unlike moments before, she felt so utterly safe.

Harry was there. Like some Greek god scorned. She almost felt bad for Jack. Because the thought of being on the receiving end of the look she could only imagine Harry was giving made her shiver. Half-naked, his black shorts, his black gloves hung at his hips, and she could tell his hands were balled into tight fists inside his gloves. She could see the rise and fall of his shoulders even at her angle. The heaving breaths he was taking.

Briefly, he turned his neck, to look at her over his shoulder. His eyes were furious and wild. There was a cut on his eyebrow again—probably the same one that kept reopening without the proper time to heal. She could see the redness on his ribcage starting where she knew he’d be bruised like a peach in the morning. His jaw was sharp, teeth gnashed together, lip curled in a terrifying snarl.

He turned back to him, on the ground, holding his face with blood still pouring from his nose. “You goddamn piece of fucking shit,” he growled.

The adrenaline in her veins stopped working overtime. With Harry standing over her, his feet shoulder width apart straddled on either side of her legs she felt herself relax. He was ready to fight—of course he was. He was in the ring only moments ago. His stance was itching to punch someone. He had that look in his eye that he had in the first round. But now it could have been the fifth or six round that she had interrupted. She didn’t know because she wasn’t there to see and lost track of counting the seconds. “What did you do to her?” He snarled.

Reason began to return to her mind. Harry was going to kill him—which would really put a damper on their night if he went to jail or something. “Harry,” her voice broke hoping that maybe he’d just let it go. She was safe now.

But she also knew it was well past the point of return for her boyfriend. Someone hurt her. He saw it.

Harry wouldn’t take it lightly. Couldn’t. He promised her dad. He promised her.

“Harry,” Louis hissed sensing the same thing that she did.

“Oh shit,” Niall hurried to her. “Are you alright, Cupcake?” he cooed gently and tugged her from beneath the arms and out from under Harry’s threatening stance. Niall held her the way she wanted Harry to hold her. His hands were on her cheeks, assessing her quickly, searching for a signal that she was okay. “Is this you?” He asked, looking at the blood all over her shirt as he searched for the injury that caused it.

Harry was still heaving, waiting for his opportunity. Her voice was dead in her throat trying to answer Niall but the only word that would leave her mouth was Harry’s name. It made him even angrier; terrified and hurt that she was possibly hurt. So hurt she couldn’t respond to Niall’s question—a question that Harry wanted her to answer just as badly.

“She broke my fucking nose,” he growled, eyes intent on her even though he nearly had to peer around Harry to look at her.

The whole arena froze.

She couldn’t see Harry’s face any longer, but she could sense a pleased smile was on his lips. Niall glanced away from checking her over as the smile passed over his lips as well. Hiding how happy he was that the blood was not hers. Louis, despite how pissed he was at Harry, couldn’t help the little smile that graced his face, either; proud that she used his lessons to help herself.

She swore everyone in that arena was smiling.

Harry turned back to her in Niall’s arms and winked at her. “That’s my girl,” he said proudly.

In spite of how scared she was, how sad she was, how much her head hurt… nothing but pride filled her body in that moment.

Then Harry lunged for him.

*

It took Niall, Louis, and Harry’s opponent from the ring to pull him away from pummeling him beyond recognition. Niall had nearly dropped her after he lunged. Grabbing his arms before he could do more damage than two punches. Louis suffered at least one punch to the face himself which she was sure was going to be returned in kind during Harry’s next training session. It would probably do Louis wonders to just punch Harry once and for all.

But naturally, it was her that stopped him. Her head ached and she wanted to lie down but she stood anyway. As Harry fought tooth and nail to be released from the hold of his friends and opponent, she stepped in front of him catching his murderous gaze. “Harry please,” she pleaded her eyes watery with all kinds of emotions coursing through her. She was wobbly on her feet, and she felt a little nauseous fearing her head injury was worse than she thought without all the adrenaline flowing through her. She put a hand on her head and winced in pain while trying to keep herself from swaying in front of him.

There were police and security guards and all kinds of shouting. But Harry finally saw her, his breath was shallow, his opponent from the ring was standing in front of him as well; a gloved hand pressed to his chest while Niall and Louis held each arm forcing him back. But it was her voice, her tear-filled eyes, that made him stop. His breathing started to slow. He swallowed hard, glaring at the opponent he wanted more than the one that was in the ring only a few moments earlier.

He gave Louis and Niall a shove. “M’alright,” he snapped and pushed his opponent out of the way. Within two seconds she was in his arms. Feet floating off the ground and he swore he never heard the crowd cheer for him the way they did then.

Harry didn’t even revel in it. He loved boxing. It was cathartic for him. Competitively, he was good at it. But he wanted nothing more than to not be in that arena and never come back. Her body was warm against his skin. He was cool with sweat. “Let’s go, Cupcake,” he murmured in her ear and started back for the locker room.

*

Harry was disqualified from his match. A single “1” in his loss column that upset her more than it did him. He was icing her hand and arm where his fingerprints left bruises. He kept rubbing her shoulders, her temples, and any of her muscles that ached in her back without the hormones that dulled her senses during her own fight. The intensity of it all, all that adrenaline subsided and made her body crash. All her muscles ached with the notion something happened.

And she stopped it.

Harry, despite everything, could not stop smiling as if she had boxed her own match and won. “I’m so proud of you, Cupcake,” he murmured and kissed the back of her achy head. It was sore from where it hit the floor (twice—once harder than the other). Louis deduced she did have a concussion; so, Harry was doting on her as if his life depended on it. Now that they were home in his apartment, he was much calmer—surprisingly. Granted, inside his home was safe. She imagined anywhere in public he was going to turn into a bit of a crazy person when it came to her safety. Honestly, she couldn’t wait to see him in action. She didn’t want him to act insane, but the worry was nice in his own way. (Plus, she was pretty certain she could get him to relax with the promise of kisses.) “When you’re able to, I want to know everything.”

“I don’t like punching,” she told him wrinkling her nose even though he couldn’t see her. He chuckled.

“I know, kitten.” He shifted her in his lap so she was propped against the armrest of his sofa, her legs strewn across his thighs. Now he could see her face. His smile was lazy, adorable, boyish once more. Hard to believe someone so cute could be terrifying when needed.

“I broke his nose,” she reminded him quietly.

“I know, Cupcake,” he answered tiredly. His own body was sore, his mind exhausted. She could see him practically snoring while talking his eyes turning to slits as he tilled his head against the back of the couch. One arm draped over the front of her body protectively. His other hand pulled at her hair gently as possible, massaging her scalp where he knew that horrible, moronic man yanked it hardest when she was running from him. “M’so proud of you,” he murmured.

Her cheeks turned pink under his praise, but she remained silent for a moment. “I’m sorry you were disqualified,” her frown was deep.

“Kitten,” he tutted opening his eyes at the same time, a renewed sense of energy had him looking at her with such disapproval. He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the cheek. “Nothing’s important as you,” he promised, a frown touching his lips.

“But you were undefeated, it bothers me.”

“I know,” he closed his eyes again—maybe the smallest part of him feeling bad for himself. “But it doesn’t bother me, Cupcake. I’d rather lose m’undefeated record for this than ever let something happen t’you. Rather have a losing record. Far as m’concerned, m’still undefeated. Honestly, y’should see the other guy,” he smirked ruefully. She watched his gentle breathing, felt the soft pull of her hair on the back of her head, and she bit the inside of her cheek.

“I wish I could’ve—”

“Uh-uh, Cupcake,” he interrupted, his voice quietly on the edge of sleep. His mind reeled with the thoughts from the locker room.

Harry paced, still angry beyond belief. He settled her on the bench that he usually sat on after a fight. His doctor and Louis looked her over. “She hit her head hard on the ground,” Louis murmured looming over the doctor’s shoulder as he examined her eyes. Harry punched the locker nearby creating a dent the size of his glove. She flinched at the sound as he paced. The doctor didn’t move.

“Twice,” she offered weakly.

Twice? He growled low in his throat. Niall was right beside him in case he tried to make a break for it and find him again. Niall planned on tripping Harry worst case scenario to keep him from leaving.

“Twice?” Louis repeated curiously. “Shit, babe,” he frowned. Harry punched the locker two more times, making her flinch again. “Harry, she’s already scared out of her mind,” he snapped angrily. Harry was still pacing. Niall paced alongside him, trying to keep him calm. Her eyes locked on Harry as he paced, and the doctor looked her over. She felt like she was blinking a thousand times per second. But she couldn’t tear her gaze away from Harry.

“Do you have any other injuries?” The doctor asked. She shook her head.

“Just my head.”

“You’re sure? This is a lot of blood.”

Harry growled again. She glanced at him nervously again. “S’not mine,” she whispered reassuringly.

The doctor smirked, patted her knee as he nodded. “Good girl. Harry, you taught her well,” he assured. “Ice. Harry, I am to presume you’ll be her bedside nurse? Concussion protocol, wake her tonight, every couple hours, and pain meds. Call me if there’s an issue.”

Harry was still fuming. “Can y’drive her car t’my place?” He asked Niall. He nodded solemnly, afraid of angering him further. “Get these off me,” he held out his hands feeling frustrated that Niall didn’t move faster to get them off. He wanted to cradle her face and massage her achy muscles. He wanted to kiss her pain away and hold her until he felt she was better. She was only vaguely aware of his frustration. Louis was tending to her while Niall cut the tape off his wrists, nipping his skin with the scissors because Harry refused to sit still.

“Here you are, love,” Louis was gentle, cupped the side of her head as he sat in front of her and placed an ice pack on the back of her achy skull. She blinked unsurely, eyeing Louis suspiciously.

“Do you hate me?” She asked, tears filled her vision without her realization, and she heard Harry snort.

“Jesus Christ, Cupcake,” she could hear the way his eyes rolled. Niall snorted.

Louis chuckled, shook his head. “Not at all, babe, why?”

“He lost because of me.”

“He could lose a thousand times because of you,” he assured her. “Your safety is most important.”

She took a deep breath and sighed. “He’s late because of me too.”

“He was late before you came along,” he promised. “Also, I like those Oreo brownies you make more than him,” he winked.

Harry smiled as she did. He could see her adding it to her mental list of goodies she would need to make.

“Harry, baby?” She whispered. Pulled him from his thoughts—fortunately so. He didn’t want to think about how much her head hurt.

“What, Cupcake?”

“I love you.” He smiled up at the ceiling, eyes still closed. Like it was new to him to hear her say it and it was just his dream telling him she loved him.

Right as he inhaled to say it back, his phone rang beside him. One eye peeled open and then the other as he looked at the number. “’Lo?” He asked, pressing the speaker button.

“Hey, Harry?” The voice at the other end asked. She didn’t recognize it.

“Speaking...”

“Is your girl okay?” He asked.

Harry looked at the phone curiously, he glanced at her and then back at the phone. “Yeah. She’s fine. Broke his nose.”

“Good girl,” his voice was quiet, but there was an air of pride in it as well. She blushed at the compliment, remaining silent while she listened in.

“Yeah... Listen... s’been a long night. Can y’tell me what y’want? Was it t’gloat?”

Her lips parted, realizing the man at the other end that earned the coveted one in Harry Styles’ loss column. Because of her. (Although she knew Harry would tell her it wasn’t her fault if she said that out loud.) “Right, sure. Sorry. Listen... M’glad she’s alright. Sorry it happened. But... anyone with a brain and two eyeballs knew that wasn’t a fair loss. Anyone would have stopped in the middle of our match. Hell, I almost stopped for her,” Harry waited for the point of saying all this. He squeezed her shoulder and brushed his lips across her cheek. “So... I want a rematch.”

Harry straightened, his hand falling limp behind her back. “A rematch?”

It was quiet. “I want to win the right way.”

Harry smiled; excitement danced in his eyes. Gently, he squeezed her knee. “Y’mean lose the right way,” he taunted.

He chuckled on the other end of the line. “We’ll see, I guess. Yeah?”

Harry hung up. He turned to her, kissed her on the forehead, and smiled. “What do y’say? Y’still want t’be m’good luck charm, Cupcake?” He pulled her into his lap and buried his face into her neck. Like he belonged there.

“You still think I’m a good luck charm? After today? Hell, since the day I met you? I’ve been nothing but a headache. Clay is dented because of me. You had to teach me how to defend myself. I’m whiny and injured and—”

Harry didn’t seem to register anything she said at all. “M’the luckiest man alive t’have you, Cupcake. Will y’be m’good luck charm, still?”

She stopped listing her faults. It didn’t seem worth her time. “Of course, Harry,” she smiled.

“Y’think I can go the distance?” He asked.

Honestly, the thought of Harry getting punched for twelve full rounds still scared her. It was a lot for her to watch him do five or even three. “Maybe not all twelve,” she hedged with a giggle. “Want you in one piece at the end, baby,” she reminded him.

“Ye of little faith,” he frowned, grumbling. She giggled and Harry couldn’t help but smile at her. His lips quirked into a shy grin, and he pressed his face back into the crook of her neck. “Well, one round?” He asked. She swore she heard the bell in his voice as he asked. The start of a new fight, a new set.

“No,” she shook her head, pressed her lips to his hair just next to his ear. The only space she could reach while he was tucked in her neck. “I’ll go the distance with you,” she assured him.

Maybe the concussion was playing tricks on her. But she swore she heard a bell as he smiled against her skin.

Ding.

taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach

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I'm sorry if I missed anyone in the taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join, if it didn't work, if you no longer want to be included, etc. :)

If you like this, check out my masterlist here

[mingsolo]

hot and buttered

mingi x reader (f) / g: established relationship, smut / wc: 813 / warnings: cursing, masturbation (both), phone sex, semi public sex but not rly / r: 18+

another tipsy drabbles log :^)

Mingi couldn't believe it.

You said you will be there for the birthday party his mom had prepared for him. It was a little early from his actual birthday, sure, but it was a party for his special day anyways.

A few miles away, you hurriedly finish getting ready,  you know Mingi´s now sulky about you not being able to make it to his parents house, but this client was important and if you didn't go personally to sign things up apparently, it was a deal breaker for them.

Before leaving for the meeting you call him, trying to sound innocent and sweet but the pout on Mingi´s lips was palpable even from the other side of the phone. 

“After this I'll get a few weeks off and we can celebrate for sure! I promise, your birthday isn't coming until next week” 

“Yeah I know…¨Mingi sounded defeated on the other line. “But my mom really wanted you here, and i really miss you…¨

You recognized the tone, his already low tone went lower and he dragged his words, which honestly just made you instinctively rub your tights together. You glance at the clock, you have some time to make it up for him, only a little.

“Mingi, are you alone?” you heard Mingi groan softly, and the sound of his steps hurriedly going somewhere. 

“Mingi! Don't be late, the food is almost ready, is yn getting here soon?” 

The voice of Mingi´s mom sounded in the background, Mingi replying to her a hasty “I'm going to change mom, i'll be outside in a minute!” made you smile. You lay on the bed, waiting for him to get to whatever he wanted to go to, probably his childhood bedroom.  “I'm here, yn?” 

“I'm here too, tell me what you´ ve been thinking?” 

Mingi whispers. “You here, with me. In my bedroom. You touch me, licking me…¨he stops and groans. “I'm sorry I'm just… I need you”

“It's fine love, I'm here to help you not miss me so much, again, I'm sorry I can't be there today, but ill make it up for you meanwhile, can you lay down for me on your bed?¨ Mingi swallows and you can hear him shifting his position. “Good. now I'm thinking how much I wish to sit between your legs and take in my mouth, you must be so hard right now” Mingi moans, the sounds of his hands on his length pumping slowly are unmistakable. “Imagine how i'd look while i suck you off so good, licking my lips as i get some air, you know how much i struggle to take you whole”

“Fuck” Mingi groans, the palming noises are faster. “Yes, I love that sight, you always do so well” 

Your hands slowly go down the hem of your skirt, slowly rubbing circles over your clit until Mingi´s whimpers and moans get impossible to resist, and you whine wishing you were indeed sucking him off right now. You slide one finger and then another, as his breathing gets more agitated. 

“How many fingers?” he asks plainly, and you bite your lip. He knows you too fucking well. Knows you can't resist his voice more than he can resist yours. 

“Two” you whine, pressing another. “Imagine me licking you, suckign you, as much as i can, you will probably make me choke if im not careful, you so fucking big you know?” you breathe, trying to pace yourself to finish aligning Mingi, who´s wet stroking sounds become louder by the second. 

“When i got back home, ill fuck you so good”

You hummed in response, a moment of silence of just both your breathing and whimpering filled the line that connected you. 

“I'm not resisting anymore… please, let me…” Mingi pleaded. “Please come with me, yeah?” 

“Where do you want it?” the words easily slipping form you, imaging it was his cock and not your fingers inside you. 

“All over you, please just let me…” a loud whine stopped Mingi mid sentence, alongside a loud bang that made you pop your eyes open. 

“Mingi! The food is ready and everyone is waiting outside!¨

“Fuck… “ he whispered, both breathless and annoyed. “One minute, I'm changing!¨´

You laughed loudly. The knot on your stomach evaporated as soon as you heard Mingi´s mom's voice but it made you laugh imagining how much of a mess Mingi would be in this moment. 

“Love, are you alright?” 

“Pff fuck, i made a fucking mess……. not the lamp!” Mingi giggles. You both laughed, embarrassed and amused. “I'm sorry about that, i'll tell everyone you couldn't make it… and, make it up for you as soon as I get home”

“I'm sure you will, I miss you so much” 

“I love you yn, so fucking much” you hear kissing noises on the other side.

“Oh Mingi, I do too.” 

[literaryslapshot]

wordless apology being accepted

pretty pls need this with sidney, can be coach!sidney or not, whatever you wanna do 💞

february prompts | coach!sidney x fem!reader

remember how y'all said you wanted the angst....yeah...

"hey, ryan's doing great in practice. he is the best kid a coach could ask for, really," sidney gave his players parents praise in the stands. it was thirty minutes until puck drop. occasionally before games sidney would go up in the bleachers and talk to parents while he could. he wanted to keep the relationship with his player's parent's strong, knowing that he was for their kids just as much as they were.

he sat next to y/n right before going back down to the bench on the ice. his hand subtly rested on her thigh as he listened to you talk about all you did that day, the parent meetings after class. he wished that he had time to actually talk to her, had time to sit with y/n and hear her go into more detail. but mid season he has to find a little bit of time to sit with her where he can.

"carter's getting better every day. i talked to the coach from arizona state today, he called wanting to know about him." sidney said, taking some of the popcorn she held in her hand. whipping her head to make eye contact she felt a few butterflies fluttering about in her stomach, college coaches already?

"but he's a freshman? are they even allowed to reach out when they're freshmen?" those were the questions that y/n was able to put words to, but in her head she had a thousand and one roaming about.

"all i told him was that he's everything a good program needs, he'll only get better with time, but to give me a call in a couple more years. coaches can go look and scout players as young as they want, but typically they don't get offered until they're a junior," sidney explained, "but if they're good...which carter is, then yeah. they can call, i got calls when i was in the eighth grade."

y/n felt intimidated, she isn't ready for conversations with college coaches and she knows carter isn't either. y/n just wants carter to enjoy the innocence of it all before dollar signs get thrown in his face.

"ten minute mark, i better get down there. want me to meet you guys at the restaurant?" she nodded her head and gave him a kiss on the cheek for good luck. by now parents had put two and two together of y/n and sindey's relationship. she had been approached and so has sidney, but for the most part it's been supportive. a few rumors here and there, but how can they complain when their son has the best coach in the country?

sidney starts to walk down the steps and takes a second to get somewhat of an outside perspective on warmups. hands in his pants pocket watching the opposing team but his thoughts were interrupted when a man approached him.

"i have a, uh, question," the man seemed nervous. he was stuttering over his words, not in a drunk way but he was extremely anxious over something. "can you maybe tell me," he took a breath before moving on, "which one my son is?"

sidney was taken back- no, he was floored. is this a joke? is this man serious?

"are you joking with me man?" sidney asked, taking a half step back to face the mans body with his. but from the way sidney looked in his eyes, they were nearly glossed over with fear and intimidation. the man shook his head as he looked on the ice again.

"i've been out of his life, i haven't been a good man and i'll be the first to admit that but, please i gotta start somewhere. saw his picture in the paper and i recognized him from the letters and stuff my mom sends me- his name's carter."

sidney pulled his lip between his teeth. he felt his leg start to shake and his stomach coil from anger, his hands grew sweaty as he balled them up in fists. he looked this man, this small weak man in the eye, he leaned into his level, "your son is number eighty in black. now get the fuck out of my arena before i have you kicked out, you fuckin-"

before sidney could say what he wanted to he felt y/n's hands on his chest pushing him back, "go to the bench, i'll handle him."

sidney looked down at her then back at the man behind y/n. he was still raging with anger on the inside, but did as told and walked down to the bench. when he got down there he watched as she talked to him a little bit before walking him out of the arena.

"what the hell are you doing here, john?" y/n finally asked as they stood out in the cold. she had kept in vague contact with john, trying since they divorced when carter was five to get him to come by at least once. for a birthday, christmas, or even an easter. but he never did.

occasionally he would send a gift card or a card with some cash, but y/n wasn't fully convinced it was him. she had her suspicions that his mother did it. she was involved in her grandson's life; she repeatedly apologized for her son's actions and for his absence. she was just as disappointed as anyone else was.

"'cause i feel horrible, y/n." was all he could say. it was all he had been thinking the past year. "i...i started going to therapy, and i've been trying to get the courage over a year and i just...i wanna be involved. i wanna be there, i wanna get to know my son."

"well you should've thought about that before you walked out on me and your son with your secretary, john. you should have thought about that before you chose a woman who was barely twenty years old over your wife and your child, you had the chance but you lost it."

y/n had so much more to say. she had thought for a long time what she would say if she got the chance. she often rehearsed in her head all that she would say, all that she would yell and scream at john for. she thought about all of it.

"y/n just give me a chance!" john shouted, taking a step closer to y/n not caring about the people who were walking past.

"no. it's not my chance to give. if carter wants to meet up with you then i'll get with your mom, but i could care less. to me you're a fucking loser, john." she felt tears begin to fall down her cheeks as she looked the man she loathed in the eyes for the first time since she last saw him after the divorce was finalized ten years ago.

"leave, just leave. this isn't how carter would want to see you for the first time in ten years anyway," john ducked his head and walked toward the parking lot. y/n turned and went back into the arena to where she was sitting.

a few parents asked her if she was okay, those who knew her and carter's story giving her a hug and a pat on the back. she was appreciative of those around her who supported her and her son.

y/n could barely focus on the game that had already started when she sat back down, her perspective and head space too foggy to even comprehend the game unfolding before her. all she could do was think about the worst days of her life replaying over and over in her head. she was replaying the minute she found out about john's affair, when she packed up her and carter's things and went to her parents house for the time being. she was replaying the divorce meetings, the arguments, the tears.

she was replaying having to explain to her five year old son where his dad went and why he wasn't going to be at home anymore. y/n hadn't gone into full detail with sidney about all of this yet. their relationship was just a few months old and she wanted to protect carter as much as she could. y/n knows and trusts that sidney was and is a good man, but she wants carter to tell what he wants to, not tell for him.

but now she will probably have to.

-

she went ahead and sat in sidney's office, she walked down there a few minutes before the last period ended. she knew that carter had a couple of points on the board, but y/n couldn't remember how he got them. her mind was full of remembering the worst years of her life with her ex husband.

she sat in a chair next to his desk, silently staring at the mess of practice plans, rosters, and scheduling papers strung along his desk. he walked in and shut the door behind him with a thud, plopping his game folder down on his desk. he didn't sit down, he stood with his hands in his pockets looking down at her as she remained sitting.

"you okay?" he asked. she could tell that he was tense, she couldn't figure out why though. they had won the game, the boys played well, and he didn't have anything to worry about. why was he so tense?

y/n nodded her head in response.

"i'll uh, make sure that he doesn't come to another game again." sidney sat down in his chair, resting his chin on his hand. there was an awkward tension in the room. sidney didn't know much about her past marriage, she didn't reveal too much to him. but now he had more questions than ever, he wanted to ask but it was clear she wanted nothing but to keep everything bottled at the moment.

"he seemed like a dick, don't know why anyone would want to marry him." sidney muttered, moving a few things around his desk. but y/n heard him loud and clear.

"what did you just say?" she asked, speaking for the first time since he walked into his office. oh no. he registered what he said, he didn't think before he spoke. he just let his thoughts flow freely off his tongue, shoulda held that one in.

"i- i didn't mean it, y/n i-"

"no, you think i don't regret being married to a man like that? one who was a complete horror of a man? who cheated, who left his wife and child? do you think i'm not embarrassed?" y/n felt tears brim her eyes and she stood up in front of him.

"y/n you know that's not what i meant," he stood up with her and walked around the desk. he put his hands on her shoulders but she slapped them away walking toward the door. she quickly opened it and headed toward the stairs. he thought about running after her but he didn't want to cause a scene. walking back into his office and closing the door he took a spare hockey stick that sat in the corner of the small space and smashed it as hard as he could against the wall, solving his anger in just that moment.

he fucked up.

-

sidney saw a text from carter which had him gathering his keys and putting shoes on his feet.

hey mom hasn't stopped crying since we got home, you know something i don't?

sidney picked up a to-go order on the way to her house, he knew that she wouldn't have eaten anything since leaving the arena. when sidney walked into her house he saw carter sitting at the dinner table eating a bowl of soup watching youtube videos on his laptop. "everything okay?" sidney asked, dumb question.

"i don't know, when i got in the car she was crying. i asked what was wrong and she just shook her head, i thought you guys broke up or something. did you?" carter asked, pausing the video.

"no, we didn't. it's not my place to tell you what happened, but i'll go talk to her." sidney patted carter on the back and walked toward the back master bedroom. he softly knocked on the door, he tried turning the doorknob but she had it locked. "y/n?" he softly asked, knocking again.

he heard sniffles and light footsteps across the wooden door. she unlocked the door and opened it. his heart softened at the sight, her eyes were puffy and her lips were chapped, she wore soft clothes.

walking back to her bed she got in it, pulling the covers over her legs. sidney sat at the foot of her bed and handed the greasy paper sack to her, his form of an apology in that moment. she took the bag and looked inside, a little grin coming on her lips as she saw the bag was full of fries.

she ate the fries in silence, her brain is dull and her head is hurting from crying for two hours straight. sidney sat on the bed with his hand on her leg, just hoping she feels comforted by his presence. he thinks she is, since she didn't take the bag of fries and kick him out.

she sat up, setting the now empty bag on her bedside table, leaned forward to take his hand in hers. sidney scooted closer to her on the bed when she folded her legs. then she gave him a kiss on the cheek, accepting his apology that came in the form of fries.

"i'm sorry for what i said y/n," he whispered again, pressing his forehead against hers. "it slipped out, i shouldn't have said it, i didn't even mean it i-"

"shh, you're forgiven sidney." y/n placed both hands on either side of his face, keeping her forehead against his. she sniffled and sidney parted for a moment, pressing his lips against her soft skin, taking both of her hands in his.

"you don't have to tell me anything about your marriage right now, but i promise, you say the word and i will make sure that he never steps foot anywhere near you or carter again." he tucked some hair behind her ears and kissed the top of her hands.

y/n shook her head, "you don't have to do that." she scooted back toward the pillows that leaned against the headboard, sidney moved on the bed to sit next to her. he put his arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head while she laced her fingers with his.

she told him everything that happened in her marriage; she told him about the way john would speak to her in such degrading ways, how john never really made efforts to go to carters special events, how he would make excuses and say things he's in preschool how special could it be? she explained how she found out about john's affair and the messy divorce. right after the divorce john left the state and she never heard from him until five years later. y/n explained how john's mom still keeps in contact with herself and carter, and that she sends john letters and cards with pictures of carter.

sidney felt himself boiling with anger inside, how could someone be that bad of a person? why would anyone want to do such a thing?

"this was the first time in...years that i had seen him in person and it just brought back, everything." tears began to flow through once more and sidney wrapped both arms around her and pulled her in as close as she could. "i don't know what i'd do without you."

[steppingstar]

Gun x Goo: shed your knuckle velvet (torn on my teeth)

(is this how u post fanfictions on tumblr?? i’ve never done this..)

Goo visits Gun in prison.

“You dick.” is the first thing Goo spits at him when he enters the visiting room, pressing a finger firmly against the glass partition, so close Gun can see the ridges and furrows of the skin of his index finger.

Gun, in his usual manner of answering Goo, rolls his eyes. He’s without his sunglasses now, so Goo can actually see him do it for once, and he has to bite back a smirk at the offended squawk he receives. His eyes don’t leave Goo as the blond sits down in the designated chair, fingers already itching for a cigarette as the other man leans in far closer than he needs to. There’s a glass window separating them, he has no idea why Goo is leaning closer like he’ll somehow be able to reach him.

“You have any idea how long it took for me to get them to let me come visit you?” Goo huffs, crossing his arms, like he’s talking about something as mundane as the weather, like Gun didn’t almost kill him the last time they met. Like nothing has changed between them. And, maybe, nothing has.

“I don’t.” He says dryly in return, and he’d really like to take a drag right now. He always found amusement in the way Goo’s face would scrunch up in disgust at the scent.

“Well, a while!” Goo scowls. “I’m not one to give up, though,” He’s grinning now, the smile stretched wide across his face in a way that Gun thinks makes him look uglier than usual. It’s admittedly his favorite smile on him. “It only took a little bit of bribery to convince them.”

“Bribery?” Gun sighs, straightening up in his chair finally, resting his arms on his knees. “Of course.”

“Yep!” He chirped, still grinning at him. “All on your card, don’t worry.”

“..How the fuck did you get access to my card.”

“The same way I always get access to your things.” He says in a singsongy voice. Gun wishes there wasn’t a glass wall between them so that he could reach over and hit him over the head.

They don’t..talk about. Goo chats his ear off, rambling about whatever new anime he’s been watching, about the new people he’s met, yada yada. Gun, like always, tunes him out, and takes a moment to observe the other man across from him. He seems unfazed, like he walked away from their fight the same man, but Gun knows him better. He’s broken him down and put him back together more times than he can count in their years together, the same way Goo has done for him, and he can recognize the smallest shift in his expression, the way he winces ever so slightly when he moves a certain way.

He’s hurt him. Bad.

Gun can’t help but feel a bit of satisfaction well up within him at the knowledge. He thinks he should feel guilt at the damage he’s caused to his body, but he feels as if this is the most suitable way to leave his final mark on Goo. They’ve always been violent people; it’s why they work so well together. If he thinks hard enough, he can even remember the way Goo’s hand fisted in his hair as he pressed painfully close to him, the taste of blood filling his mouth when he bit Goo’s hard enough to make him gasp and slip his tongue into his mouth like it was yesterday.

The conversation reaches a lull, neither of them speaking for a moment. They simply stare at the wall, stare at each other, Gun’s eyes catching on Goo’s lips and staying there a while.

Gun had always imagined since they had first met how their final meeting would go; his knuckles kissing a bruise into Goo’s unmarked face, his fingers clenched and wrapped tight around his slender neck, squeezing like he was trying to hold onto him, all the way until the warmth, the light, the life he always brought with him drained out of his eyes.

He didn’t expect this, the two of them uncharacteristically silent, gazing at each other through the glass that separates them with a soft look unusual of men like them.

He feels an inexplicable tenderness suddenly. The urge to wrap his arms around Goo and never let go, until their bodies meld into each other and become one. Like they were always meant to be. One in the same, two halves of the same coin.

“I love you.” Gun cannot say.

“Get the hell out of here, Goo,” He drawls instead, leaning back in the uncomfortable metal chair. His lips twitch just barely, the closest thing to a smile he’ll allow himself to direct at the blond.

Goo just laughs, unfazed. “I’ll leave whenever the hell I want to, you bastard.” He shoots back, grinning, eyes glittering mischievously beneath his glasses.

And this, Gun thinks, is the best possible outcome.

[icallhimjoey]

AAHH my favorite bitch back at it again! This will be a 5 chapter fic, correct? Because we best make him the FILTHIEST of martinis that makes him drop to his knees and kiss the floor we spill drinks on walk on. He better recognize we are more than just cute 😤😤😤

well, best we can do is TRY, isn't it? And that is, if Martin will let us... Wordcount: 3.7K

---

Mistaken, Not Stirred

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

“Surprise, surprise. Look who's back again. For the, what, fifth time this week, is it?”

“That’s... that’s no way to speak to a customer.”

You let your mouth smile so hard, it made your sarcastic eyes disappear entirely.

“What can I get you?”

“Oh, that’s all right, I think...” Joe started, and Martin reached to place a drink down on the bar where Joe would usually sit. Joe pointed at it for you to see, like you were dumb to even suggest you had to take his order. “I’ve already got one waiting. But thank you. Next time.”

Disrespectful idiot.

You didn’t like Joe.

You did. You liked Joe a lot. But you didn't like him, you know?

It had been a few weeks of this now, and the comments had become more and more biting. Always said with smiles – ones that didn’t reach your eyes, nor his. Never mean or actually bitter, but there was definitely a “you suck at this job you stupid cow” vibe coming from him, and a “you come here too often you sad sack of shit” vibe coming from you.

It made Martin bite away sly smirks and swallow his obvious laughter when he witnessed you interact with each other.

You just didn’t like how Joe seemed to act like he was above you in this bar, even though he didn’t even work there. Only vaguely knew the manager. Came in a couple nights a week, mostly by himself because he didn’t have any friends.

You didn’t know if that was true, but who the fuck spends hours in a bar by himself if they have actual friends to hang out with, you know? Man was a loner. A real loser.

Shame he looked so good. And shame that it always made your heart beat faster when you saw him walk in every couple of days. You’d tell it, fucking knock it off with the palpitations, I don’t have time for this shit, he called us inadequate, you stupid bitch.

Cute too, sure. He had called you cute as well. It was why he made you blush just by looking at you.

But he’d wished Martin good luck with that one and he obviously had meant you. So you didn’t like Joe. Even though you did. And even though he’d been right.

Because Martin really did need good luck with this one, you thought, mentally pointing a fat thumb at yourself. Martin hadn’t called you inadequate to your face, yet, but… the message was clear.

No one else got told to just go sit and to closely watch what he did. See how he made drinks. Learn from what you could observe. 

Martin had said it all politely, but had grabbed onto you by the shoulders and steered you around the bar without any hesitation. Gestured at the barstools there and… you were a little dumbfounded at first. 

“Just... so I just sit…? And watch?”  

“It’s a little too busy to have so many bodies behind the bar.” 

You were in everyone’s way a lot, is what he meant.

James had shoved you aside more than once and had dropped a bottle of sticky syrup when he bumped into you. Somehow that was your fault. You’d been standing in a spot you weren’t meant to be standing, because apparently you had to by now be able to anticipate his every next step all night long.  

You sat down closest to Martin’s station.  

Decided if you were going to be tasked to watch and learn, you might as well watch and learn from the best.  

It had been three days since you’d been called cute by a stranger and three days of trying to mix the perfect dirty martini.  

And it really shouldn’t be so difficult. You knew the steps. You knew what went into the glass. You could do everything exactly the same as Martin would do it, but somehow, you thought it always didn’t come out right.  

Martin said yours was good. Had tasted the dirty martini you’d mixed before opening just to show him you knew exactly how now, and he’d said, “Yea. Good. So that’s one drink down.”  

Only thirteen more to master from the current menu.  

And then whatever other random off menu drinks people would ask for. Like frozen cocktails that weren’t on the menu. But there was blender behind the bar, and people would go, “I see you have a blender, can I have this drink, but have it frozen, please?” and Chloé would tell them, of course! And then would have you try your hand at it. 

You weren’t sure if she was giving you the orders she knew you were going to fuck up just to mess with you.  

But you were kind of fucking everything up, off menu or not, so, probably not. It was likely more an issue of incapability on your end than a malicious thing on hers.  

Martin made you sit and watch him, and after a little while, he passed you a little notepad and a pen. It was weird to have someone rest their head on two stacked fists on the bar all night. Taking notes made it look like you were actually doing something. So Martin started giving instructions on what he was doing whenever he could, whenever he felt he had the time to do so, to give you things to write down.  

He didn’t have a lot of time to do so, though, so you just started writing down what you saw. Wrote down ingredients. Step by step instructions. Utensils and glassware used. 

You had to be quick though. 

Martin was fast.  

You had to keep eyes on his hands and hope that what you were writing down was still readable after.  

In your focus, you hadn’t noticed that someone sat down next to you. 

Someone who now had to sit at the long end of the bar, cringe, eyeroll, so very annoying, because you so happened to have taken the seat he’d usually occupy.  

Joe sat down and sort of watched you for a little bit. Looked at what you were doing. Puzzled together why you weren’t behind the bar doing your job, or trying to do so at least, and instead hogged his favourite seat.

He saw how you didn’t break eye-contact with Martin’s hands and chuckled to himself when he saw your handwriting.

There was no way you’d be able to decipher that. Didn’t even look like you were writing down words.

He looked on as your pen slipped off the paper and left a mark on the bar. 

“Careful, that’s the end of the note right there,” Joe said, condescending, too late to actually be helpful.  

You rubbed at it with a finger and quickly got your eyes back on Martin. 

You’d missed a step. 

Shit.  

“I’m sorry, I’m trying to pay attention because,” you paused, wrote down what Martin did with some lemon zest.  

“Because…” Joe egged you on. 

“Because apparently, I can’t mix my cocktails right.”  

“Oh,” you heard next to you as you watched Martin finish the drink, followed by, “So, you’re aware?” 

Hm?

What the fuck? 

You frowned as you looked down at your note and tried to process if what you just heard had been right. Then you slowly looked up, eyes first, then your head followed, and, oh no, this was the guy.

There wasn’t even time to think of a smart comeback quick enough, because the realization immediately made you move onto different things.

“Dirty martini!” you exclaimed, eyes wide, and you immediately got up. Well. You tried to immediately get up. The barstool scraped against the floor loudly, but it didn’t move back far enough, and you got caught between the chair and the bar and it made your tits land on the edge awkwardly before you turned and let your feet find the floor properly.

The whole scuffle of it made the little smile on his face break into an actual laugh.

“Careful,” Joe laughed as he hovered a hand near you that did nothing, all pretend helpful.

But the second you were off the seat, you got instructions to get back on.

“Sit back down.” Martin said, eyes not even on you, and it was stupid how quick you climbed back onto the seat again. It was also stupid how you were legitimately proud of yourself for succeeding at something Martin asked of you.

“This one’s for Joe,” Martin said as he placed the drink he’d just finished right in front of this guy. Joe, you’d just learnt. “But you can get him a dirty martini next if he’ll have one.”

Martin looked at you like you were a child, eyebrows raised up high on his forehead, and then when he turned to Joe, he broke into a grin. It felt like it was a smile that made fun of you a little, but then he said, “Let me know what you think, I need to sort the Christmas menu.” and you hadn’t even considered the menu changing soon.

Fuck.

That meant there were more drinks you were going to have to learn how to make. Things with seasonal ingredients. Things that were more festive. Things that included fire maybe, and you weren’t ready to light yourself on fire. You weren’t ready to see the horrified reflection of your hairdresser in the mirror as you explained that it was just an accident, and could she please fix it because you had a big New Year’s Eve party to attend soon?

 You didn’t get to make Joe his dirty martini that night.

Or the next time he came in.

Or the time after that.

Instead, you got to listen to him wince, hiss and then laugh when you dropped a full tray of drinks over yourself before you could even step around the bar to bring them over to the right table.

Instead, you got to see him hide a giggle when you held a bit of orange peel the wrong way when you squeezed it over a drink, spraying the juice right into your eyes.

Instead, you got to see how he seemed playfully impressed when you bit back at a comment Chloé made about you needing to get out of the way after she bumped her hip into you, and you’d said that it wasn’t your fault she had a fat arse.

When you looked at him though, he’d pretended to be absolutely scandalized. Like he was on her side for it. Like he was about to go, "Are you just going to take that, Chlo?" and egg this on.

When he didn't see you look, you'd seen him smile softly to himself and, you know what, he could actually piss off for real, who did he think he even was in the first place?

You’d apologized to Chloé immediately after, terrified Chloé would be offended, mortified you’d started an actual fight, but you’d seen a flicker of joy across her face, and you had felt comfortable enough to show a little of a smile in return. Felt like the first little bit of acceptance, of you speaking her language, and all it took was a little gas to the fire.

Instead of getting to make Joe a dirty martini, Martin made you do a million other things. He had you take peoples orders, had you learn how to close the bar to make opening easy and efficient the next day, had you prep ingredients the correct way, and had you do mundane shit like cleaning floors, tables, toilets, et cetera, et cetera.

You basically got to do anything but make drinks.

And Joe was the type of person to give you tips from where he was sat. Unwelcome shit. Things like, “Missed a spot here,” when you would wipe down the bar, or, “That table has been waiting for ages,” when you were just about to go over to take their order.

But Joe was a guest, and you were meant to be friendly and polite.

So you’d smile your most inauthentic smile and would tell him thanks in your flattest voice.

It always made him laugh.

Which, in turn, always made Martin smile.

Weird how that worked.

“Good evening,” you’d tell Joe when you’d see him walk in, all exaggerated faux politeness which he easily accepted from you. Before he’d even be able to go and sit down, before the coat was even off, you’d raise your pen to your pad and would ask, “What can I get you?”

And Joe’d just smile, like he couldn’t help the grin, and then he’d nod his head down, scrunch up his nose and point towards the bar before walking over to where he always sat. Where he’d take his coat off and reveal he was wearing a shirt with the first three buttons undone, sometimes even four, showing off literal cleavage. You didn’t need to get him anything. He’d get whatever Martin was already loudly shaking in his shaker.

It felt a little like you were put on the bench. By Martin. By Joe. Like you got to be a part of the football team, but didn’t actually get to play at all.

Didn’t get to take Joe’s order.

Didn’t get to make any drinks.

After a few shifts like that, James took pity on you, and when Martin left him in charge for the rest of the night, he’d given you an order to make.

Fuck yes.

Excellent.

And Joe was there, too!

Maybe if you did this right, James wouldn’t bat an eye if you just started on a dirty martini after, to slide over to Joe and to do what Martin always did. Ask him what he thought of it. Ask him to give a lengthy review which you knew was going to be nice words only, topped off by the satisfaction you’d get from him expecting the worst and then tasting the best.

You wanted to see that face. Feel it in your bones.

The Simon-Cowell-watching-Susan-Boyle-for-the-first-time face.

But then you didn’t do it right, did you?

You poured all liquids into the cocktail shaker and closed it properly, like you’d been shown how, but, you weren’t meant to put all liquids into the shaker, were you?

You were meant to keep the carbonated drink to the side and add that directly to the glass after you’d mixed the rest of it.

You only shook it twice.

Maybe three good, violent times, to really get the ice to rattle.

The cocktail shaker exploded in your hands.

You gasped as the cold drink hit your front, and stood there, frozen as the drink dripped down your face.

You saw Joe very slowly reach and wipe underneath his eye with his middle finger as he rapidly blinked, like a little drop had made it onto his face.

There was no way any of that had gotten onto him, but the fact that he pretended that it did was just as infuriating as it was embarrassing.

James and Chloé stood there frozen also, until James reached for a dishtowel and hit you in the face with it.

“I think maybe Frank needs help,” he had then said after you’d finished cleaning, and were sent upstairs to join Frank by the door.

Not the worst job.

Frank was nice, didn’t mind a break from playing solitaire on his phone for a chat, but... joining Frank by the entrance was the bar equivalent of being put on time out, and Frank knew it too.

When he saw you come into view as you dragged your feet up the stairs to where he was sat, he smiled and said, “What’d you do this time?”

You plonked onto the barstool next to him in the small little hallway and sighed as you leant back against the wall.

“Put fizzy drink into a shaker.”

You bonked your head against the wall behind you, once, twice, three times.

“Shook it.”

Frank huffed a laugh, said, “Nice.” and got back to his game on his phone.

“When do you think I'll get fired?” you asked jokingly.

“Hmm, a week, give or take.” Frank answered, eyes on his phone, and you couldn't help but laugh.

“Nice.”

As the night came to a close, you saw people out along with Frank. Opened the door for them. Wished them a lovely rest of their night.

Just when you thought you might as well go down to help James and Chloé with closing, the both of them came up the stairs, talking, laughing, both in their coats already.

“Hey, what’s...” you faltered, confused. There was no way they’d actually finished already.

“We’ve done most, you’ll be fine finishing up, yea?” Chloé asked. It wasn’t a question for you to answer though. She was already standing outside when James tried to give you some last instructions.

“Use the key in the cash register, leave it in the letterbox after locking up.”

You just looked at him. Blinked a few times, because, were you allowed to do this on your own? Would Martin be okay with you closing the place by yourself?

“You got this!” James smiled, and you knew it was just that he was happy to be fucking off early for once.

When the heavy door fell shut behind them, you stared at it a second before you huffed a humourless laugh.

“What the fuck was that?”

“I still got half an hour on my clock,” Frank said after checking. “Do you need any help?”

You considered it for a moment.

“That's kind of you, but... I actually don’t, thanks.”

You didn’t.

Martin had practically let you close on your own before. He’d just been sat at the bar whilst you worked around him, big grey folder opened and pen in hand, doing whatever admin needed doing.

“Join them. Have a... somewhat early night.”

It was late.

“You sure? Can’t place blame with me for anything if I’m not around.”

“Fuck off,” you laughed. “I’ll be fine.”

You said goodbye to Frank, closed the door behind him and sighed.

Fine.

This was fine. You could close by yourself. Lock up by yourself. You’d be there for opening the next day anyway, so if you were to leave anything undone, you’d be able to pick up where you left off, stepping on your own toes, no one else’s.

You made your way back down the stairs.

Around the corner. 

Past the toilets.

Down the dark hallway. 

Into the bar, where... there was loud music playing. Loud music.

When you stepped inside, you were fully expecting to be alone but then realised: you'd not said goodbye to Joe yet.

And there he was.

Behind the bar.

Hands near the sound system, like he was trying to figure out how to use it. The song skipped to the next one, and Joe clapped his hands together once before he held both arms out wide as he spun around.

Teeth bitten into his lip, he made eye-contact with you near the entrance and... danced. Did a stupid hip and shoulder shake to the beat before he clapped in his hands again.

You frowned, loudly shouted, “Guests aren’t allowed behind the bar!” as you made you way over.

Joe completely ignored you. Got really into his old-man-at-wedding dance as he lipsynced along, all playful, all goofy.

When you were close enough, he grabbed a wet dishcloth and was about to throw it over. He waited for you to hold you hands up, to get ready to catch it, but you just said, “Yea, great, the tables probably still need doing, thanks.” as you slapped him on the shoulder, passing behind him to get to work behind the bar.

Not before you changed the song to something you liked, asserting power over Joe, because you worked here. Not Joe.

He could treat this place like a second home all he wanted.

You were closing the bar, so you got to choose the music.

And you expected to turn back around and see Joe get into his coat, dishcloth abandoned on the side.

You expected an overdone smile, a snarky comment, a mocking smile with narrowed eyes as he’d insincerely wish you good luck.

You expected to have to go and look to see if Joe paid for this drinks.

You expected he probably hadn’t, because by now you’d clocked in on this weird agreement Martin and Joe had, but you were going to make him pay regardless.

What you weren’t expecting was to turn back around and to see Joe bent over a table, hips wiggling as he wiped it down, focussing on a seemingly extra sticky bit, mouth pouted and brow furrowed.

Oh shit.

You didn’t like how that worked something in the pit of your stomach.

You also didn’t like how you watched Joe clean a few tables and then saw him catch you staring.

You snapped out of it and pretended you dropped something, just so you could duck down behind the bar for a second.

When you got back up, Joe had moved on to do more tables, and you were glad that he ignored the staring. He could’ve absolutely made a sassy comment to embarrass you, but he’d chosen peace over violence tonight, so it seemed.

Dirty martini.

Yes.

A filthy one.

You could make him a dirty martini as a silent thank you, because there was not a chance you were going to say those words aloud.

Just make one and then leave it out on the bar for him to find as you cleaned up behind the bar so you could pretend you didn’t even care if he liked it or not. Be all casual about it.

But then Joe looked up at you again, and a small smile grew into a wider one and there was no way he wasn’t going to slag you off for something, so you abandoned all plans and just... went for it. Asked him in an almost challenging way, no smile to be detected, with eyebrows slightly raised,

“Dirty martini?”

---

The Taglisted

@adoreyouusugar, @alana4610, @ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @barfightzanddiscolightz, @bettyfrommars, @cancankiki, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson, @chrissymjstan, @choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @dylanmunson, @eddies-puppet, @electricmunson, @emma77645, @emmamooney, @everythinghasafacee, @figmentofquinn, @frootvelvet, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @harringtonfan4, @haylaansmi, @jasminearondottir, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @kellyxo1, @kennedy-brooke, @lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @miserybeans, @nadixq, @notverywise, @pepperstories, @phyllosilicate-s, @roosterisdaddy36, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @thebellenouvelle, @thewondernanazombie, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

[evergruen]

Final thoughts on JJK's last chapter and Gojo's ending

Now that I've had the time to sit with my thoughts, and process the ending properly, my perspective has changed a little. If you disagree with this, that’s fine, these are just my thoughts after all.

I’m not going to delete my previous posts, as those are genuine reflections of my feelings at the time, and I’m not one to pretend.

Gojo's ending is bittersweet, painful, tragic. He's always been a tragic character. Made to carry the world's weight and sins on his shoulders, made to feel like all of it was his fault, a direct consequence of his existence. Left alone, understood by no one (but one), isolated, never really alone but still lonely. So much so that in the end he didn't even really feel like a real person. Seeing himself more as a creature than a human, a weapon, the strongest.

And yet, despite all the pain (or because of it), he tried his best to make sure no one else will ever have to be like him. That no one will ever have to carry the same burden as he had to.

And he succeeded, didn't he? His students won't have to go through what he went through. They aren't alone. He made sure of that. His dream became true in that sense. He died fighting, for the first time, against someone who was able to equal his power and beat him. He died without regrets and now gets to spend his afterlife with the person he's been chasing after (in one way or another) all his life, the afterlife symbolizing the time period in his life he was the happiest.

I have a lot of issues with Gege's writing. His habit to ignore meaningful character interactions for one, Megumi's wasted potential, Nobara, I could go on. I can disagree with the glossing-over of grief and lack of funerals in this story and also recognize it fits narratively. Believe it or not.

Gojo's story ending the way it did makes perfect sense narratively. Does it make me sad? Incredibly so. I want him to be happy (which he is, while still dead).

I know I said I felt like Gege's disrespected his character, and I’m now saying that I don’t feel this way anymore. I also don’t at all agree with anyone who says Gojo's talk with Yuuji was Gege projecting. Gojo saying "haven't we had enough of Gojo Satoru?" Isn't Gege trying to piss you off, that’s Gojo saying "Haven't we had enough of one person shouldering it all? Suffering underneath the weight of it all? Can I rest now?".

I also don’t think he went into that fight with Sukuna expecting or even planning to die. He's not stupid, he simply was aware of the fact that he could die. I don’t know why some people think him acknowledging that possibility somehow goes against his character.

Satoru was loved and he won't be forgotten. Despite how that fact suffers under the weight of Gege's execution and writing. I'll forever mourn the wasted opportunity to show us Megumi's grief specifically. Despite what tiktok wants you to believe, Gege doesn't hate Gojo. Please let's move on from that.

We spent chapters on Yuuta literally shaking and on the verge of throwing away all their plans because of his desperate desire to save his beloved sensei, Yuuta as the one to call everyone out on placing the burden of being a monster on Gojo's shoulders alone, willing to throw out his own humanity if it meant he'd get to lessen his sensei's burden just that tiny bit.

Am I sad? Hell yeah. Do I wish Gojo was alive and got to watch over his students? Fuck yes. Do I still think his death was meaningless (I said this before) and that he had to die unsatisfied? No.

In 236 (titled "go south" or something similar) his final thought is him literally begging for it all not to be a dream. Gojo clinging to the past and wanting to return to when he still felt like a person, happy, with his closest person right next to him, makes perfect sense. We see this as a tragedy. We see someone clinging to a past long gone, wishing to return to that and automatically associate it with stagnation.

But this isn't how Gojo sees it. To him, it’s going home, finding peace. Achieving what he wanted to achieve, knowing his students got it from here, knowing they won't have to suffer the same way, and going back to his happiness free of guilt. He's played his part. He did what he set out to do and now he's free.

What I wished for his character resolution and what Gege decided makes sense for his character don’t cross paths. But that doesn't make Gege's writing wrong. He simply decided that going south is ultimately what Gojo would want most. And if you've read the manga, you'd realize that fits.

I still wish he was alive, but I can see why Gege decided to not bring him back. He gave him his own version of a happy ending by letting him go back to what made him happiest.

Gojo literally has one of the (if not the) most satisfying character developments and stories in that entire manga. As a side character.

You did well, Gojo Satoru.

[saphir93]

Adam x Lute - First meeting in Eden

Adam chose his exorcists, but if he and Lute had already met before in Eden? I loved the character of Adam so much, he is very deep and full of things to say yet, his narrative arc is not closed and his emotional bond with Lute is wonderful, it definitely brings out his best and best side. He must came back in the show, as I say feel that his character arc is not closed. Hope evry Adam fan and Lute X Adam will enjoy this things that I made.

First meeting in Eden

Garden of Eden. Adam and Lilith have just been created, but they don't get along at all and do nothing but argue. Adam turns offended while Lilith escapes and runs away. Lute comes down from the sky because she is curious to see the first man, so she flies through the garden but Lucifer is also there, so she decides to land and hide behind a tree. “What am I doing? I…I shouldn't be here.” she thinks. She is sweaty and her heart beats hard, but as soon as she places her gaze not covered, she scrutinizes Adam. Adam is sitting on a rock, he is naked, beautiful, perfect but sad, very sad. Lute is struck by such beauty and blushes.

“So this is the first man.”

Meanwhile Adam complains “That damned female never listens to me! I fucking hate her! I do everything I can to please her and she rejects me!” Lute sees that Adam is crying out. “I can't accept it, I can't see him being like this.” she thinks, then she decides to reveal herself to him. Adam looks up and is struck by his beauty and stops crying.

Adam “You are an angel…but, but you are a woman.” Lute “Hello first man. Yes, there are also female angels among us.” Adam “Well you know, the only one who visits us often is always Lucifer. I didn't think there were even females among you. My name is Adam anyway.” Lute “Adam, what a beautiful name. So tell me Adam, why are you so sad? Something wrong?" Adam “What's wrong? That I, Adam, I'm never enough for that ungrateful female! She's always complaining and criticizing, I can't stand her anymore." Lute approaches Adam, stroking his back. “But you are Adam, you are the first man, she must respect you and be grateful to be able to have you by her side. She doesn't realize how lucky she is!" Adam sprang to his feet. “You're fucking right! I am Adam, the first man! Everything will come from me, I need respect and I will have it!” Lute smiles “Of course the first man deserves it!”

Adam “Oh Lute, it would be nice if women were all like you angels! I feel better now and I thank you. I will make sure he respects me!”

Lute “Happy to have been of help to the first man.”.

Adam as he walks away. "Yes. You know, I also hope to see you again.”

Lute makes a sad face, then she thinks "I also wish it could have lasted longer Adam.". Lute while she is returning and flying carefree collides with Lucifer "And what are you doing here?" Lucifer was perplexed "I'm asking you the same question! I was checking that everything was fine as usual." Lute "Me too." Lucifer "Actually, I saw you as you approached Adam." Lute "But you were very close to Lilith!"

Lucifer "Okay, listen...neither of us saw anything." Lute "Clear" Lucifer "Good." Lute thinks “He knows I shouldn't be here and yet he's letting me go” she arrives at the gates of heaven to look sadly at the clouds beyond the gate “I hope Adam is okay”.

A lot of time passes and Lucifer is expelled with Lilith, the two make Eve eat the apple. Adam eventually became the first soul welcomed into heaven. Adam becomes an angel. Sera's office. Sera “Now that you are leader of the exorcists you can choose from our best fighting angels.” Evening shows the row of exterminating angels. Lute meets Adam's gaze and is afraid of being discovered, Adam recognizes her immediately and with a pleased face points to her without thinking. Adam smile “How small the universe is...” Sera “What's happening Adam?” Adam “It happens that I have chosen! There she is, the sexiest one. I really want that badass bitch over there! She is perfect! " Sera rolls her eyes at Adam's response while Lute tries to keep herself composed even though she feels uncomfortable while her linemate, Agatha glares at her full of envy. Adam “Even the one who looks at her badly, but yes. I want both bitches. They are perfect.”. Once outside Sera's office, Adam takes off his helmet and looks at Lute "I knew I'd see you again." Lute tried to avoid it. Adam “No. Don't do that, look at me." Lute takes courage and looks at him, Adam winks “It's our secret.” Lute blushes. “Lucky bitch who saw the first man. You are so sweet.” concludes Adam.

The start of a fan series I'm working on and writing the script. This part will become a future fan animated video, collaboration with @kimtrik96

[starfacenix]

How the gods “speak” to me.

For a while when I read posts about how people had full on conversations with their deities I was SEVERELY confused. It took me way too long to realize that for *some* people, they use different types of divination paired with clairaudience and other things. As a kid, I stuck to just tarot. But now, I finally understand what all these other people were getting at.

For me personally, I’m unfortunately not getting full on sentences. If I’m really lucky I’ll get 1-3 words that sometimes make sense. What I get the most is being able to “read the room,” so to speak. I recognize and am becoming more and more familiar with what Hermes feels like when I’m speaking to him and how to differentiate him from Dionysus. The one time I had them both in the room with me, my mind was a mess. I didn’t really get anything clear. It felt all muddled.

I wish I could get more than I do. I’m quite jealous of the fact that some are lucky enough to get a sentence or two. But then I remember there are people that can’t get anything at all, and you know that? That’s okay too. Because your gods are still with you even if you can’t feel them, or can’t hear them in your own way.

To give an example, if I were to summarize a conversation with Hermes, I may say he told me I need to work harder/I need to put more effort into xyz, and that yes, he did indeed send me on the path of reconnection with my former best friend. What that actually means is I asked with a pendulum if that’s what happened and I got a strong ass ‘yes’ swing lol. And then I pulled multiple cards that did indeed tell me that I need to do more. Or when I first contacted him, I got multiple cards that expressed enthusiasm and that it would be a fruitful relationship.

Or, something sillier like how my first offering went down.

Mind you, I’m still very new to all this. I’m trying my best while also trying to maybe help other people not feel too afraid about unknowingly fucking up.

So, I’m sitting down at my kitchen table. I have some homemade bread on a plate with a slightly fancier glass holding some homemade pudding in the other. I very awkwardly pray aloud to Hermes after lighting a candle, telling him about the offering. Just a simple thanks for being so patient with me.

The energy in the room immediately brightened, and that’s when I almost jumped at how clearly I felt his pleasure at the small gesture. (Even heard an “ooh!”) After some time had passed, I personally eat the offerings I give due to my circumstances. I thank him before eating.

Somehow, somehowwwww, that piece of bread and pudding treat was the most filling thing I had eaten in ages. I have a very very big appetite. Any other time I’ve had something of that portion size, it’d take a lot more eating to keep me full lol. That’s been my experience since with offerings I eat since.

So that also goes to prove offerings really don’t need to be grand. I honestly just really enjoy cooking, and the idea of making something small he may enjoy perks up my day.

I need to make more bread.

[lavenderbexlatte]

day 5: mile-high club

nct/wayv 1.9k words female reader insert Reader x Wong Kunhang (Hendery) NSFW

🖤 warnings: idol au, public sex, penetrative sex (f receiving), they fuck in an airplane okay idk what you expected🖤

kinktober masterlist

connect with me! / masterlist

You have never wished for the gift of being clueless more than you're wishing for it in this moment.

Because, of course, you know too much. You're observant by nature, and you like that trait most of the time. It's helpful. It keeps things interesting.

It also means that you know full well that the person in the seat next to you on this half-full flight from Hong Kong to Seoul is famous.

You don't know who he is, exactly. It's not that serious. But you can tell just by looking at him that he's someone. Famous people have this air, especially these young sheltered ones. Not cocky, like rich American popstars. Nervous, as if they're about to be scolded at any time. This one looks like that.

He's handsome, though. From the peeks you've been able to sneak as the flight attendant handed you a water over him, anyway. He's got a hat on, and a mask, but you can see the telltale flawless skin and terrified eyes of a young, company-stranglehold celebrity.

There's a seat between you. He's in the aisle, you the window. It's still too close for comfort. You wish you were the kind of person who didn't notice things.

Because now, all you can think about is who he might be. What he might look like, under the careful disguise. And, kind of evilly, how many girls in how many countries would kill for the opportunity you have, here, just to be next to him.

It's only a three-hour flight.

So when the flight attendant returns with snacks - the only service on this short flight - you make the most of your chance to break the ice.

You drop your pretzels on him.

The bag is closed, of course. You're not a monster who's about to waste a snack for attention. But it falls into his lap, and he barks out a startled laugh.

"Sorry," you say, flashing him your best smile.

Like you'd expected, he jumps at being addressed. His eyes dart to you.

It's as if he thinks any person who looks at him is going to whip out a camera and start making calls. So-and-so from such-and-such group is here! Look!

"Can...I have my pretzels?" you ask gently.

"Oh!" He startles all over again, snatching up the little packet and holding it in your general direction.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Words. That's progress.

"D'you fly this route a lot?" you ask.

He actually looks at you this time. "...A couple times a year, maybe?"

You nod. "This was my first trip to Hong Kong."

"For what?"

Ice, broken.

"Work," you say.

Your business trip was three days and two nights, and you've been bored out of your mind since you left your hotel room the first morning. Conferences are inherently boring. This is the most fun you've had in weeks, as you watch this anonymous celebrity's curious eyes as you give a vague summary of your long weekend abroad.

"Me, too," he says, when you've finished.

You grin. "You?"

"Yeah."

"You work?"

The two of you obviously aren't speaking his first language right now, but he catches your joke easily. "Do I look like I don't work?"

"You look..." you hesitate, and he notices.

He notices, and he wilts. As if he's expecting you to realize, to recognize. To ruin this moment of human to human.

"I-"

"Good," you interrupt, before he can shut down on you completely. "Too good. Like a nepo baby."

"Nepo baby." He turns the phrase over on his tongue.

"Nepotism. Personality hire. Friend of a friend? Daddy's money, maybe?" you tease.

He smiles. His mask is still on, but you can tell by the crinkling lines near his eyes.

"All talent."

It's a hint, a little hint about who he really is. You just let it lie.

You grin back, but you sit more firmly in your seat, straightening up from the way you'd been leaning toward him to talk. You've done your searching, now you can give him some space.

That lasts for about one episode of television on the cramped little seatback screen.

After that one episode, your handsome seatmate gets up to use the restroom, and he leaves his phone on the empty middle seat.

You don't think it's on purpose, but the phone is unlocked. Open, plain as day, messaging up all queued up and the most recent texts plainly visible.

You're not in the business of snooping, usually, but come on. You're only human. And the most recent message, one from your seatmate sent to a contact in a language that you can't read, says something in another language that you certainly can read.

Well, some of it. The word "pretty" stands out pretty starkly. The blushing emoji doesn't hurt.

So he thinks you're pretty.

When he comes back, you've got another episode playing, innocent as can be.

He sees the open phone, still just laying there, showing everything, and he grabs it so fast that he nearly drops it.

You let him sit with the question that he so obviously wants to ask for just a moment, or two. You can see his uncertain gaze, trying to wager if it's worth embarrassing himself.

You pull your earphone out on the near side, and you meet his eye. "I think you're pretty, too."

The earbud goes back in, as he faceplants into his palms.

There's only two hours of the flight left, now.

You can't even finish the episode. You're too curious.

"So, it's mutual," you say lightly.

"I guess so," he replies.

His voice is small, strangled with self-consciousness but also something else. You figure it out when you see him eyeing the row ahead. He must be on this flight with other people. People who wouldn't be too pleased to see him doing...anything, really. Company people, maybe, work people.

Well, you don't really want to get him in trouble. But he is very pretty.

"If you..." You're trying to word your question carefully. "If you could do something about that, would you?"

"Do something?"

"I think you're pretty. It's mutual. In some situations, people would do something about that."

You don't know why you're doing this. He's obviously nervous, and he's obviously famous. You also think he's probably out of your league, under that mask.

"I can't really do things like that," he says.

"Have you ever tried?"

The airplane cabin is only half full, maybe less, but like any flight, it's dark. Simulated nighttime, even for a short trip. Easier if the passengers sleep through the whole thing.

You stand up. Everyone in the rows around you - maybe six people, including the tired-looking middle-aged guy in the row ahead that your seatmate had been eyeing, and the two young men beside him - are asleep, with eyemasks and headphones. The works.

"You can come if you want."

He looks confused, until you head toward the restrooms at the center of the plane. You make sure he's watching which one you choose, and of course, he is. You lock yourself into the little booth, barely enough room for one person, and wait. You wash your hands, for good measure.

There's no reason why he would come. If the flight attendants catch you, if that guy he's with sees, the consequences could be-

But then there's a tentative little knock. Barely loud enough to hear, over the normal noise of the plane.

When you unlock the door, he pressed himself inside so quickly that you stumble against the rounded wall. He's got the mask pulled nearly all the way up to the brim of his hat, face completely hidden except for two very anxious eyes.

"You didn't have to-"

"I wanted to." He locks the door, leaning against it. "One crazy thing. Just once."

"Careful. If you like it, you'll have to do more," you say somberly.

He laughs softly, just a sharp breath. "Don't care."

Under the mask, he has a long, handsome, masculine face, classic like a movie star. Under the hat, he has long glossy black hair that practically touches his shoulders, cut in lovely rounded waves.

Under his shirt (though you don't take it off, for time and convenience), a thin, wiry physique that makes you think he's probably a dancer, not a model or actor.

Under his joggers, a pair of well-worn black boxer briefs that do not a single thing to hide his half-hardness, his length and girth that both have you wondering how you're going to walk out of here like nothing happened.

Under all of your clothes, it's just you, but the way he's watching as you strip the layers away makes you feel like you must not be half bad.

"Is this illegal?" you wonder, as you settle back against the wall with your panties hanging off one leg.

"Probably," he says. "Do you wanna stop?"

"No."

That's all he needs to hear, apparently, because he's got his length freed and your leg hitched around his hip lightning-fast.

"What can I...what's your name?" he asks, as the hot, broad head of him nudges up against you.

You're honest. You tell him your first name.

He smiles, showing off very straight, slightly overlarge teeth. "Call me Hendery."

It sounds like a fake name, because nobody's fucking name is Hendery, but now isn't the time.

Hendery pushes in, and you sigh, pitching forward to bury your face in the crook of his neck to muffle any other noises, and to avoid looking at his gorgeous face.

Eight hours ago you were having cheap coffee in a stupid boardroom with Ms. Li from the Hong Kong branch, and now you're having your insides rearranged in an airplane lavatory.

It's extremely unfair that this man is handsome, well-endowed, and somehow also talented, in this, regard, as he keeps a bruising pace while avoiding any kind of telltale rattling of the folding lavatory door, keeping you close but also letting you tip your head back again, expose your throat, stifle your noises into the meat of your arm.

"Wish you didn't have to be quiet," he says.

You huff out a laugh. "Unless you want paparazzi waiting for us, I gotta-"

"Paparazzi?" he grins. "What would they want?"

"You tell me."

He doesn't tell you, but he does grip you harder by the hip, use the leverage of this position to pull you in time with his motions, force you down harder, faster...

Maybe it's the adrenaline, or the risk, or the fear, or maybe this guy really is some kind of supernatural force, because your peak is looming. Your head is buzzing, your veins thrumming...

Hendery is gonna make you cum, like this.

You tell him, and he laughs. You can feel it reverbing in his thin chest. He trails his lips over your cheek, down to your throat.

Playfully, he bites.

Your world goes white.

-----

It's strange, to be back home so soon. Familiar soil, Incheon Airport arrivals, getting yourself a snack.

The convenience store is mostly empty, due to the late hour and the odd time of year. That's just fine, though, because it means that no one is around when you scream.

You don't mean to, of course. It's not even a whole scream, just a startled yelp. And you thank your lucky stars that the bottle in your hand doesn't pop when you drop it on the floor. The mess would just be the icing on this cringe cake.

It's a birthday message on the electronic screens at the mouth of the store. The kind of things that music and drama fans buy out for their idols, whitewashed photographs and cheesy well-wishes.

Happy Birthday to our prince, it reads.

His name really is Hendery.

Hm. Well.

You take your snacks, and head to checkout.

He looks better than that in person.

[mrsshabana]

Do you take requests? I'm having a really crummy time rn and would love to see Gyutaro stumbling onto a young woman with some pretty bad parent issues. Like, the man can fr relate.

Gyutaro comforts you when you're having family issues

❀ CW: Angst & Fluff, Gender neutral reader

❀ AN: I am so so sorry it took me so long to answer this one. It got drowned in the sea of requests, but I hope that you enjoy how it came out!

❀ WC:985

Gyutaro was waiting outside of Ume's school to pick her up from cheerleading practice. He got there a bit early so he was just waiting around outside by his motorcycle. And that's when he heard it. The sound of someone crying.

Walking around the corner of the brick building, he sees you sitting on the ground with your knees pulled up to your chest. Sniffling and trying to muffle your sobs.

Shit, Gyutaro thought as he stared down at you. He recognized you. You were one of the students on the team with his sister, you had even been to their apartment a few times. Gyutaro had never spoken to you much but he knew you well enough to know that you were a good influence on his sister. One of the few friends of hers that he actually approved of.

"Y/N?" he kneels down and puts a hand on your shoulder.

You peer up at him, "Oh, h-hey Gyutaro," you sniffle. Usually you'd be more embarrassed about crying in front of someone, but you've reached a point where you can no longer care.

"Everythin' alright?" He says with concern, trying to be kind but also not pry too much. He normally wouldn't give two shits about someone crying. But he knows you are his sister's friend and he has a soft spot for you. If someone saw his sister crying and he wasn't around to comfort her, he'd want them to help her too. He doesn't know if you have a big brother, but right now he's going to try to be that comforting big brother for you. It's one of the things he's best at after all.

You shake your head, "No." You mutter and cover your eyes as your tears continue to flow.

Gyutaro frowns and sits beside you, putting his hand on your back and rubbing it. "Do you wanna talk about what happened? I'm here to listen." He soothes you until you are able to calm down enough to speak.

You go on to tell him about the situation with your parents. And how every day you dread coming home from school and having to deal with their judgmental and controlling behavior. How you don't even feel comfortable in your own home, and it's gotten to the point of being unbearable.

"I-I wish I could just run away... I can't do this anymore Gyutaro. But I have no where else to go... I feel so trapped." You whimper, feeling everything crumbling around you as you finally verbalize your feelings to another person for the first time.

Gyutaro knows this feeling all too well. You remind him of himself when he was in high school. But he doesn't want you to end up like him, a drop out working a dead end job.

He wraps his arm around you and allows you to cry on his chest. Using his other hand to stroke your hair, muttering, "Shh it's ok... I know I know..." as you break down in tears once again.

"I was in a similar position when I was in high school," he sighs, "I understand how you feel. And it really fucking sucks. It makes you feel like you'll be trapped forever, and you can't even go to the people that are supposed to be there for you the most."

He pauses for a moment as he remembers a painful memory, "But look, you can't be like me. I ended up dropping out my junior year... and look where it got me? Nowhere."

You look up at him and wipe your tears, "But that's not true! You were able to get Ume out of that bad situation and provide a better life for her and yourself," you try to reassure him that he isn't a failure like he may think.

A small smile forms across his lips, "I guess that's true... but that still doesn't mean you can drop out! You need to value your future, at least more than I did," he pulls out a receipt from his pocket and writes something on it.

"Here, this's my phone number. I know it ain't easy to just suck it up and live like things are ok. Nah it's actually impossible. And right now it may seem like there are no options for you, but I promise things will get better. As soon as you graduate I'll help you figure out how to get away from your parents. But for now, you have to stay with them."

He frowns somberly, wishing he could give you some better advice but he knows he can't.

"If you ever need me, don't hesitate to call. You're welcome anytime at our home, ok? If things get to be too much and you just need to get away, call me and I'll come pick you up. Just promise you won't drop out, alright?"

You nod, taking the piece of paper with shaky hands. Staring at the number scribbled down, repeating it in your head just in case.

"Thank you, Gyutaro," you smile, "I really appreciate this."

"Don't worry about it," he pinches your cheek, "There's that pretty smile. You shouldn't cry so much or else you'll get ugly forehead wrinkles like my sister."

You can't help but chuckle from his comment. Using his brotherly charm to make you laugh warms his heart.

He stands up and reaches his hand out to you. You grab onto his large hands and pull yourself up, wiping away the dirt from your cheerleading uniform.

"How about you come back to our place tonight. I can order takeout and we can watch whatever reality tv shit you and Ume like."

"R-really? I don't want to inconvenience you..."

He leans forward and snatches your bag, "Well I'm takin' your bag so if you want it back I guess you gotta come to our place," he gives you a cheeky smile.

[fractalcloning]

In the shadow of Ganmadan.

It was a little offensive, the clear sky and beautiful weather. It should be raining, thundering, like in her dreams--red and scary, foreboding--but it isn't. Jean Luc Picard died and it is...just another day. She knows that Alton Soong and Dr. Jurati are working on it, maping and copying his neural patterns into the golem Soong had reserved for himself. There's no guarantee it will work, that they can take the patterns off a dead man and expect them to function. He may not be restored at all, and Soji feels terribly lost. She has siblings here, dozens of them, but she's the odd one out. Not one of them can really comprehend what she's been through in the last few days. None of them can even start to relate. Dahj is gone. Her mother is an AI, a holo construct that was meant to keep her from breaking her cover. Narek is--somewhere outside. In a cell? The fact that she'd even consider talking to him only enhances her distress. She's all alone. Again. And the Romulan fleet is gone, but so is most of the Starfleet one. They are defenseless, completely out of orchids, and only Soji seems to recognize that the danger hasn't passed. That they aren't actually safe from anything. Another nudge to her bedrock could topple everything again, and again, and again and she chose to let the guarantee of safety go. She hates herself for giving that up, for shutting down the transmitter, and then hates herself in another way for even considering summoning the extra-galactic synthetics. Her life isn't worth every organic one. It's objectively true but so very hard to remember when the threat of death and destruction seems to hover over her like her own personal raincloud. So Soji sits, miserable and distraught, on the edge of Alton Soong's desk and tries not to think about it. Unfortunately the only distractions she has are the synthetics littered around the office. Alton Soong had been so proud, so excited to show her his prototypes. The golem, the next set of fractal clones, mice for Spot II to chase. Each one was meticulously designed and he loved them, truly. His crowning masterpiece was the reproduction of Data. It took up the center of the room and all Soji could do was stare. He looked peaceful, like he was sleeping and not just an empty, expertly sculpted husk in a stasis chamber. She was almost jealous, that he got to sleep so softly while she was vibrating with anxiety about the next calamity, the next loss, the next inevitable, crushing death. She runs both hands through her hair, tugging it to try and clear the maudline catastrophizing. It half works. "I wish I could have met you," Soji says to the stasis chamber and her arms drop back to her sides. "If half of what everyone said was true, you'd probably have something profound to say."

"Or...at least you might give me a hug."

She was tearing up, thinking of her Dad, the fake ghost in her dreams. He never existed but she had memories of him saying profound things. She recalled her mom trying to cheer her up--or Dahj, who may have actually done that before they were separated. Picard had even tried to comfort her, in his own way--and now she comes back to Narek again. The last man standing. God, her life was pathetic if the Tal'Shiar were her best choice for a hug. She wipes her eyes and tries to stop thinking again. It doesn't work any better this time. "Fuck," Soji says to the empty room. To the construct that is not her kind of father. It required a quantum computer to hold what they had of Data's neural patterns--if the code, the information, were any less she might have been able to boot him up, to talk to him through holograms like she did her mom, but even Soji understood that he was too complex for that. Data required a body and Soong had never completed the method to transfer-- "Wait--Agnes fixed it," Soji says, largely to herself, partly to the construct. Alton Soong had lamented how his masterpiece copy of Data would forever lie dormant. Because Bruce Maddox hadn't finished the work to make transfering consciousness possible. But Dr. Jurati had finished it. They were using it on Picard right now. Which meant-- Soji shot up from the side of the desk and all but darted to the stasis pod in the center of the room. Now, looking at the unoccupied copy, she saw something other than a hollow body--she could--she could put him back, right? If it were a copy of Data, he could work in this body? She immediately pulls up the controls on the stasis chamber and snatches a data slate off Soong's desk. Data was kept in the computer, he was the cornerstone of it, she should be able to just...run Jurati's protocols and put him into the duplicate, right? The tiny thread of hope that wrapped itself around her heart was as cutting as it was fragile, but Soji was desperate and so very alone. If she thought anything could work, anything at all, she couldn't have stopped herself from trying it.

[lunapwrites]

having a bit of a bad brainspace weekend.

i am intensely uncomfortable and unable to do things for myself that i normally could do and this is my not-so-friendly reminder that despite the sometimes crippling ADHD and the fact that my GI issues suck i am, in fact, mostly usually quite able-bodied. i am used to things i am not physically able to do being more in the realm of "touching my toes" due to my intense lack of flexibility or "lift my partner" due to him being 3x my size. I've historically been pretty strong and in good shape for someone that is allergic to the gym, so i was not anticipating adding things like "putting on socks" and "rescuing my sweet idiot dog from the couch he's forgotten how to get off of" to that list.

i made the mistake of asking my partner what it looked like i was struggling with rn because i'm not good at recognizing when i actually need to ask for help vs when i can just power through. this was a poor decision because this means that i received an itemized list of my recent failures. not phrased in a way to be hurtful, just expressing frustration because these were all things that i had previously handled myself with ease and now a) was suddenly not doing, or doing inconsistently, and b) was not indicating i needed help with. and he's not trying to step in on his own and make me feel micromanaged or smothered, because he knows i want to do for myself as much as possible (and also i'd probably bite his head off) and he's 100% correct. and he had to kind of sit me down and be like "you are pushing yourself too hard please stop" and i wanted to shake him and scream that i'm not, that i don't feel like i'm doing enough because i am just a pile of disappointments right now. massive laundry lists of things i need to do and can't because literally if i try it physically hurts me.

anyway i really want to write but the second i sit down i either get distracted with something else or fall asleep or sit there vibrating over the things i should be doing but can't so. there's that. [gazes longingly at several half-written WIP chapters wasting away in the corner] i know where they're all going. i just don't have the gas to get us there. and i hate that. especially because i have this intense fear of not having time for writing at all once Bean is here.

idk. everything sucks rn and i hate it here and i don't wish this on anyone. next person who tells me this is a wonderful miracle and that i should feel so blessed is getting a shoe thrown at them. "best thing you've ever done" fuck you. i know what i did and why, but i also knew it was going to suck ass at least 90% of the time. it was, i thought, an informed decision. i either underestimated the level of disability i would be experiencing or overestimated my ability to cope with it. like it's fine it's temporary i will get through it but jesus fucking christ this is rotten work. and not in a "not if it's you" or an "especially if it's you" sort of way, but more of a "despite" situation. i adore this kid so much already but i also want to be able to stand up for more than 5 consecutive minutes without feeling like i might die. i want to be able to have a conversation without immediately being out of breath. and even all of that i feel terrible venting about because in terms of symptoms i am getting off SO FUCKING EASY. it could have been way worse. and i'm bitching about it this hard. bitching about what???

anyway. so begins the final countdown. with me crying hysterically over a bag of fuckin pastries i left on the counter and feeling lower than i think i've felt since '09, which ain't a great feeling.

[deep breath.] everything will be fine. it just sucks right now. and also i really hate writing thank you cards.

[paintmegrey]

Sharing 2 of my favourite deleted Jegulus scenes from Yeah My Boyfriend’s Pretty Cool (But not as cool as me) :

1)

They were lost.

James’ words sit between them, growing like some undefinable river. Too harsh to cross—too cold to bear.

“Regulus if you” James struggles to catch his breath, “if you get on that plane—I don’t know what I’ll do.” James deflates with the words. So true that they even leave him bewildered for a second.

Their love, it feels like the soft whistle to a song. So delicate, yet James would recognize it anywhere. He’s memorized all of it but standing here now James feels as though he’s forgetting the tune. As if the soft hum and whistle is fading into the end of the song.

“James I can’t-“ The hitch of Regulus’ breath is so harsh that James feels it in his own chest, “I can’t. This is not worth—this shouldn’t be worth anything to you.” The words are hushed, muffled under layers. But James doesn’t know what Regulus means. He wants to ask. He wants to scream to know. But every word is stuck in some lost corner of his mind, and all that he has to give now is his silence.

Nothing will ever define James the way this love has. They way Regulus has. Regulus is standing right in front of him, watery eyed and fading into shadow, but James already misses him. James can’t unclutch Regulus’ from his grasp. Everything that James has ever had to leave behind is buried with scratch marks, with every desperate attempt to hold on.

What is happiness if not love? What is James?

Regulus turns around, his body stiff and entirely closed off to James. “Go back inside, James.”

“Regulus.” It’s nothing other than a plea. A beg for Regulus to let them have this. To let James keep this.

Regulus hesitates for half a second, a simple twitch of his hand and then he’s walking away. The straight lights perfectly still. The echos of conversion, and laughter, and beautiful life continuing around them.

As James watches Regulus’ back he swears, somewhere in the distance someone is whistling the tune of a song. A delicate soft song, a precious one. And as Regulus gets further away, as James' existence is slowly ripped in half he focuses on that whistling and how it fades into nothing but air.

Then it is silence. Just James, just silence.

2) (the voicemail)

Regulus, hey. I’m not sure if you’re going to hear this anytime soon or ever—I hope you do though. Um- There’s a heavy sigh, and Regulus finds himself holding his breath. I’m not mad at you Regulus. I wish I could say I was, but—I just can’t. James’ voice gives a dry laugh, not a drip of humor. Maybe it’s pathetic but I—I care about you so much Regulus. So much that I—fuck, I would have helped you pack your stuff and leave to London if that’s what you really wanted. I would’ve held your hand until you left for that flight—I The sound of James’ voice breaking down starts to fill Regulus’ eyes with tears, barely able to stop themselves from pooling over.

—I would have just loved you until the end, as long as you would let me I’d love you. Even now…But your Mother called. I’m sure you already know that. I’ve been wondering if maybe I was…too much for you. If maybe I’m just too much. She told me that you want me to leave you alone. That you want nothing to do with me. Regulus hears the way the tremble in James’ voice becomes worse with ever word, and it kills him.

If that’s what you want Regulus. For me to just pretend there was nothing, I can—for you I can do that. And I’m sorry if I was a lot. I just— It’s then that James starts crying, and Regulus starts crying right along with him. Covering his mouth to muffle his sobs, desperate to hear James’ words clearly.

I just never want you to be afraid of me Reg. Like you can’t tell me things. You can always tell me anything, I will always listen. I’ll always be here, and I hope you never doubted that. If you don’t love me—that’s okay. It’s okay. I hope for the sake of my heart that you loved me at least once—that at some point you at least thought you could. There has never been anything wrong with you Regulus. I just— wanted you to know that you’re worth so much more than what this world has given you. You’re more than this job Regulus. You’re more than this imaginary worth in these awards. Or your family.

You are everything to me Regulus…all you’ve ever been is everything to me. You don’t have to be better or changed, you didn’t have to pretend for me. You never did. And LA—my house, is just not the same without you. I just want you to know I’m always here, that I’m always wishing you’ll call just so we can talk. Talk about anything. About the weather for fucks sake. Just to—just to know you’re there, love. I really do hope you’re alright Reg. I hope you’re happy, I hope it’s not too cold there. That you remember to water your plants and drink enough water.

If you need anything, I’ll always be here. Just a call away. I love you more than anything, darling, and I hope you’re okay. I hope you felt loved by me at least, because you were. You are.

The voice recording stops. Regulus’ hands are shaking and he’s choking violently on his sobs.

[thewnchstrs]

The Letter

Pairing: Winchester!Sister(OC Ellie)

Disclaimers: n/a

Word Count: 754

A/N: sorry this one is so short omfg. also, this would take place at the beginning of season 3 :)

M A S T E R L I S T

REWRITE MASTERLIST

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Are you sure it’s in here?” Sam said, rummaging through the glove box of the Impala, running a finger through the neck of his shirt that clung to his back. 

Dean grumbled, sifting through the visor above the driver’s seat in search of the same damn insurance card that seemed to go missing every year. “Check the visor.”

Sam pulled down the visor, two white pieces of paper flittering into his lap. Sam picked one of them up, showing the insurance card to Dean who snatched it from his hands. Sam chuckled, shaking his head as he grabbed the small white envelope, going to put it back in its place when he noticed the large, looping handwriting across the front. Handwriting he immediately recognized as Ellie’s.

“What’s this?” Sam asked, holding it up.

Dean narrowed his eyes, reading his and Sam’s names across the front. He shrugged, taking it from him and ripping it open. He unfolded the thin notebook paper, glancing to Sam in confusion before looking back down at it again.

Sammy + Dean,

Fuck. I guess I’m dead. I mean…if you’re reading this, then I probably am. Or maybe Dean went looking for that insurance card he loses every year. Sorry for dying, by the way. That really sucks and it was kind of shitty of me, leaving you two alone. I’m sure you’ll manage.

Sam and Dean glanced up at each other from the note and up to the motel room where they could see Ellie through the window, packing her clothes into her duffel bag. They both looked back down at the letter.

At the time that I’m writing this, I only have about six months left. It’s strange, knowing that every day that passes on the calendar I’ll never see again. I’ll never see the fireworks on the 4th of July, or the leaves changing in the fall. I’m just trying to soak it all up while I can. My birthday’s coming up. And to be honest, I never thought I’d see 22 years of my life. I’ve lived much longer than I ever expected to.

I’d never say to your faces, but thank you for all you’ve done for me. No matter what happened or where in the world we were, I always knew you guys would be right behind me, every step of the way. We never had any stability growing up. No home, no school, no friends. But in the end, none of that really mattered, because I had you. And that was more than enough.

So, please, for the love of god, don’t sit around moping. I mean…maybe a few days is okay just for you guys to remember how fucking cool I was and all that…but then, you need to move on. Hunters die every day, but that doesn’t mean the job does. I lived a good life, despite it all. I’ll be okay. And maybe one day we’ll see each other again.

Kick some ass for me.

Love,

El

Dean let the paper fall in his lap as they reached the bottom, sitting silently back in their seats. They watched her move across the motel room, unaware of what they’d found, something she’d intended for them not to find until she was long gone.

“We can’t let her go,” Sam whispered, looking over to Dean. “We can’t let her go to Hell.”

Dean had been telling himself this ever since he found out about Ellie’s deal. That he couldn’t let his sister be dragged to the worse place he could imagine, but nothing he tried was working. Either Ellie died and went to Hell and Sam lived, or vice versa. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself either way.

He glanced over at his brother, nodding. “We’ll figure something out.”

“You have to promise me, though, Dean,” Sam said in a serious tone. “You need to promise me that whatever we do, we do it knowing for sure that we all live. No more deals, okay?”

Dean wished he could keep the promise, but he knew better. He’d already been down every avenue, looked under every rock to figure out a way to get Ellie out of her deal, but nothing was working. He knew that if it came down to it, he would sell his soul for Ellie’s in a heartbeat. 

“Okay,” Dean agreed guiltily. Sam continued to watch him, like he didn’t believe him. Dean nodded, folding the paper again and sliding it back into the envelope. “No deals.”

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