#spn sister

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

Request: can you do one where their sister is in purgatory with Dean and when they come out they realize Sam didn’t even look for them and was with a girl while they were suffering in purgatory fighting for their lives basically. The sister had a really really hard time in purgatory and is defientely scarred and has bad ptsd like super bad. I see how messed up it made Dean and I imagine it would take a huge mental toll on their sister. Make it dramatic and have Sam and her make up somehow and deans mad but for his sisters sake he has to keep himself together to fix their problem as a family.

A/N: this was so fun to write, I hope you like it! Requests are open please send in some ideas because I’m bored and want to write stuff LOL

Sam and Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

The ground was uneven beneath Dean's boots, the dim light of the underworld barely cutting through the suffocating darkness. He had just pulled himself and his sister, Y/N, out of purgatory with nothing but their ragged breaths to anchor them back to reality. But as the veil between those two worlds lifted and they found themselves standing on solid ground once again—on earth, on familiar soil—the weight of it all hit Dean harder than he could have anticipated.

They had escaped, yes. They had fought their way through the endless maze of creatures and the sickening, oppressive silence of purgatory. But that didn’t mean they were free. Not truly. Not when their minds were still wrapped in the haunting memories of everything they'd seen, everything they'd endured.

Dean knew it would take time, but he hadn’t expected it to start this fast. The moment his boots hit solid earth, his sister's body tensed beside him. Her breathing was shallow, a slight tremor running through her limbs. She wasn’t hiding it well. But Dean could tell. He always could.

He glanced sideways, watching her for a second longer than he meant to. Her face was pale, eyes wide and unblinking, as though she couldn’t fully comprehend the freedom they had just won. He reached out for her arm, stopping her in her tracks. “Y/N,” he said softly, his voice strained with the weariness that had settled deep into his bones. “You alright?”

But as soon as she looked at him, her walls broke down. Her breath hitched in her throat, her hand shaking as she reached for him, her fingers clutching his jacket like she was afraid it would slip away. She wasn’t okay. Not by a long shot.

“Dean…” She gasped his name, her voice barely audible as it trembled. She looked almost feverish, her eyes darting around the open space, as if expecting something to jump out of the shadows at any given moment. The world was no longer a safe place for her—her mind still trapped in purgatory, the fight to survive still clawing at her chest. “I… I can’t—Dean, I can’t—” Her words were falling apart in front of him.

Dean’s heart twisted in his chest, and without thinking, he pulled her into his arms. It was instinctive, a desperate need to protect her, but it was also the one thing that seemed to ground him in this moment too. She clung to him, her body shaking uncontrollably, the sobs that had been building finally breaking free.

He hadn’t expected this. He hadn’t expected to feel this—the vulnerability, the absolute terror in her small, shuddering frame.

“Y/N… Hey, hey,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady even as his own heart threatened to beat out of his chest. "We’re here. We’re back. You’re safe. We both are. I promise."

But the words didn’t land. They were hollow, meaningless, because nothing could undo what they’d been through. Not the screams. Not the endless days of fighting without rest. Nothing could erase the raw, jagged scars that purgatory had left on their souls.

She pulled away slightly, her eyes wide, haunted. “I’m... I’m so scared, Dean. I’m always looking over my shoulder. Always hearing them... hearing the growls, the whispers. It’s like I can’t escape it. I’m still there, and I can’t stop hearing the screams.” Her voice cracked, the terror unmistakable.

Dean’s throat tightened, the words sticking there. He had fought and clawed his way out, but the truth was—he hadn’t really left either. He could still feel it. The suffocating grip of purgatory on his chest, the constant need to fight, the adrenaline that had coursed through him for so long that now it felt like a damn near permanent part of him. Even the sunlight, which should have felt like salvation, felt like it was too bright. Too real. Too normal.

He wanted to say something, anything that would make this better. But the reality was, he knew what she was feeling. He had felt it too. Every single moment since they had made it out of that hellhole, his body had been reacting like it was still there.

"Hey, I know," he said quietly, his voice suddenly thick. He wasn’t sure if he was reassuring her or himself at this point. “I know what it’s like. You’re not alone, okay? I’m right here.”

But even as he spoke, her sobs intensified. She broke down completely, her whole body shaking, and Dean held her tighter, his own breath shaky as he pressed his forehead against her hair. "I’m so scared, Dean…. I feel like I’m going to lose my mind. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be scared all the time... to hear things that aren’t real. It’s... it’s not over, Dean. It’s not over for me."

A raw sob ripped through her, and Dean felt it deep in his chest, the weight of it pressing down on him in ways he couldn’t explain. He wanted to say something to help. He wanted to tell her that it would get better, that time would heal them. But deep down, Dean knew it wouldn’t. Not completely. Purgatory didn’t just break you; it remade you in its own image.

“I understand,” he whispered, surprising himself with the confession. “I can’t... I can’t shake it either, Y/N.” His voice cracked, and he hated it. He hated how raw it sounded. How human it made him.

Y/N looked up at him, her tear-streaked face a mirror of his own pain. And for a moment, the two of them just stood there, holding each other—sharing the weight of their suffering in silence.

The world might have looked the same, but nothing felt the same anymore. They weren’t the same anymore.

“I’m here,” he repeated, a little more firmly this time, even though he wasn’t sure how much comfort it really offered. “You’re not alone. We’ll get through this together.”

And they would. Maybe not perfectly. Maybe not quickly. But they would figure out how to survive in a world that felt so much bigger than the one they’d left behind in purgatory. For now, it was enough that they had each other. For now, they had the silent understanding of two people who had seen the worst of it and somehow, somehow, were still standing.

Though, they still had to face one more thing: the looming question of where Sam had been during all this. “We gotta find Sam.” Dean muttered under his breath and with determination you would both stop at nothing to find him.

When they had finally reached Sam, the reunion was nothing short of overwhelming. Y/N felt the warmth of Sam's embrace seep into her bones as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her in tight as if he were afraid that if he let go, she might vanish. For a moment, everything else faded. The horrors of purgatory, the constant fight for survival, the fear and isolation—it all slipped away in the comfort of Sam’s arms. She clung to him harder than she thought she ever could, her body shaking violently as the sobs wracked through her chest.

She had thought she would never feel safe again. But here she was, in Sam’s arms, and it was everything she’d longed for. Before she knew it, Dean had wrapped his arms around the both of them and Sam patted his back.

“I can’t believe you’re both here,” Sam said as Dean pulled away. His voice was thick with emotion as continued to hold his sister who wasn’t letting go, tightly. His hand moved over her hair in a soothing gesture, and Y/N let herself melt into it. She didn’t want to think, didn’t want to feel anything but this moment, this relief.

Dean watched them from the side, a small smile on his face, though his eyes were weary. Something wasn’t right. Something in Sam’s demeanor felt... off. There was a subtle distance in his expression, an awkwardness to the way he spoke. It was like he was relieved to see them, sure, but not the way he should’ve been. There was something missing.

Sam pulled back slightly, his large hands still resting on Y/N’s shoulders as he looked down at her. He smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I didn’t know if I’d ever see you both again. I was starting to lose hope. I... I thought I’d lost you both.” His voice faltered, but then, almost offhandedly, he added, “I mean, I tried looking for you but there was no trace of anything. There was nothing else I could do. I’ve... I’ve kind of stepped back from all that now.”

Y/N’s heart stuttered in her chest, and the air between them instantly grew cold. She stared up at Sam, eyes wide with disbelief, her breath catching in her throat. “What do you mean, you stepped back?” She asked, her voice barely a whisper, but already tinged with confusion and hurt. “Sam... what are you talking about?”

Sam shifted uncomfortably, his eyes flickering toward the ground for a moment, his hands dropping from her shoulders. “I mean... I’m not hunting anymore, Y/N. I... I don’t do that anymore.”

The words hit Y/N like a slap in the face. Her breath left her entirely, her legs weakening as she stepped back from him, blinking rapidly as the confusion and hurt in her chest twisted into something far more primal. "What?" she croaked, the words tasting like bile on her tongue. “You... you don’t hunt anymore? What does that mean? You just gave up?”

Dean, who had been standing off to the side, felt his stomach drop at the tone in her voice. He stepped forward, his gaze flickering between Sam and Y/N, a frown pulling at his features. But before he could say anything, Y/N spoke again, her voice rising in disbelief.

“You... you just stopped hunting? For real?” Her chest was heaving now, her breath shallow, and Dean could see the wave of emotion crash over her. Her eyes were wide, her face pale. “Sam, we were trapped in purgatory. We were fighting every single day to survive—dying out there, and you—”

Her voice cracked, and she stumbled back a few steps, shaking her head, as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You... you left us to suffer... for what?” Her voice was trembling with anger now, with disbelief, the hurt evident in every word. “You just stopped looking for us, Sam. You gave up on us.”

Sam opened his mouth to respond, but the words didn’t come. His eyes flickered with guilt, but they couldn’t meet hers. “Y/N, I’m sorry... I just... I didn’t know how—”

“No,” Y/N snapped, her voice escalating to a scream now, the floodgates opening. “Don’t give me that! How dare you say you didn’t know how?!” She surged toward him in a wild rush, shoving him with all the force she could muster. Sam staggered back, eyes wide with shock, but Y/N was unstoppable now. “We were fighting for our lives out there, Sam. I was terrified every second. I needed you. We both did!”

Dean’s jaw clenched, his own anger flaring at the scene, his fists clenched at his sides. His eyes shot between his sister and Sam, disbelief twisting his features as the weight of what Sam was saying hit him. His throat tightened, and his voice came out sharp, raw.

“What the hell, Sam?” Dean barked, his tone hard. “After everything we’ve been through, after all we’ve fought through together, you just quit?” He took a step forward, his voice rising as he let the rage build. “We were fighting for our lives every damn second in that place, Sam. You didn’t even look for us.”

Sam flinched, taking a step back, his eyes flickering with guilt, but his words were weak. “I didn’t know what else to do, Dean. I tried to find a way. I thought—I thought you two were lost. You don’t understand—”

Y/N was shaking now, her fists clenching at her sides as tears welled up in her eyes. Her heart was hammering in her chest, and it felt like the world had dropped out from under her. “You left us behind,” she whispered brokenly, but the words cut through the silence like a scream. “You didn’t even look for us, Sam. You left us to suffer... for what?”

Sam’s eyes flickered with something—guilt, shame, confusion. He stood there, frozen, his hands held up in an attempt to placate her, but the words were already spilling out before he could stop them. “I... I met someone.”

The words didn’t register immediately. Y/N stared at him, her mind trying to piece together the nonsense she’d just heard. It couldn’t be—“What?”

“I met a girl,” Sam repeated, his voice softer, almost apologetic, but it hit Y/N like a punch to the gut.

“A girl?” Her voice cracked as she took a staggering step back, her body swaying with the weight of what Sam had just revealed.

Dean's eyes widened in complete disbelief. He took a sharp step forward, his anger boiling over now. He had been furious, but now? Now he was fucking seething.

“You gotta be kidding me. Are you out of your goddamn mind, Sam?” Dean growled, his voice low but venomous.

“A girl? That’s what you’ve been doing, Sam?”

Y/N’s voice rose, trembling with hurt and outrage. “You left us to suffer. For a girl?” Her breath caught in her throat, and her chest burned with the sting of betrayal. “A fucking girl?” She whispered, the words barely coming out, but they were enough to make the air between them feel like acid.

Her breath catching as she stared at Sam, the disbelief on her face growing darker with every passing second. “That’s what you’ve been doing? You met a girl?” She stumbled back again, this time with a look of pure betrayal, her hand flying to her mouth as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Please, it’s not—” Sam started, his hands reaching out to her in an attempt to calm her down, but the damage was done.

She lashed out, her fist connecting with his chest with a force that made him stumble back, the shock of the hit barely registering before she attacked again. “We were suffering, Sam! Every damn day!” Her voice was ragged with pain. “You didn’t even look for us. For a girl?! You abandoned your family for that?” Her chest heaved as the words came spilling out in desperate, frenzied bursts. “I was terrified, Sam! I thought we were going to die out there. You don’t get it. You don’t get it, do you?!”

Dean’s hand shot out, grabbing Y/N’s arms before she could strike Sam again, but her anger made her stronger than him in that moment.

“How could you do that to us?” Y/N screamed, her voice shaking. “We were alone. Alone in that place, surrounded by things that wanted to kill us every second. And you just... you just let us go, Sam. How dare you?”

Before Dean could step in again, Y/N's fists flying toward Sam’s chest with a force that had no place in the fragile, exhausted body she’d come back with. It was a frantic, desperate kind of attack—one fueled by pain, by betrayal. She slammed into him again, the punch landing square in his gut.

Sam stumbled back, wide-eyed, hands raised in defense. "Y/N, wait—"

"Shut up!" Y/N screamed, her voice breaking with the weight of everything she couldn’t keep inside. She swung again, but this time Dean was there, grabbing her around the waist before she could make contact. She struggled against him, kicking her legs, her breath hitching in sobs that she couldn’t control. “You left us! You left us for a random fucking girl! How dare you!”

Dean gritted his teeth, trying to keep her calm, his grip firm but not hurting her. He pulled her back against him, holding her against his chest as she kicked and screamed, the words coming out like raw, guttural cries. "Y/N, stop," he murmured in her ear, but it wasn’t enough. Not yet.

Sam stood there, frozen, his mouth moving like he wanted to explain, but the words wouldn’t come. His eyes were haunted, like he could barely stand to meet her gaze, but Y/N wasn’t giving him an inch. She pushed against Dean’s arms, writhing in his grip, her body still trembling with pent-up energy, the frustration pouring out of her.

"You—" Y/N sobbed, her voice breaking into the words that had been festering inside her since they’d realized they were trapped. “We needed you. We needed you to save us, Sam. You could’ve saved us.” Her words shook with pain, every syllable like a slap in the face. Dean pulled her into his chest, more forcefully this time. His own chest was tight, his eyes burning, but he couldn’t lose it like she had. He couldn’t let her spiral completely. He knew she was about to cross realities from purgatory and where she was in the moment now.

“Y/N, please,” Dean murmured into her ear, his voice gentle but firm as you whimpered against him. “I know. I know. I need you to breathe, okay?”

He said calmly, holding her tightly against him, even as she writhed in his arms, her body shaking with the full force of her emotional breakdown. Her breath came in quick, gasping sobs as she tried to break free from his hold.

“Stop, Y/N,” Dean said softly but firmly, his own voice raw with the same anger and hurt she was feeling. “You’re scaring yourself. Calm down for me, please.”

But Y/N couldn’t stop. She couldn’t stop the tears that were now flooding her face, the hot rush of betrayal, the crushing weight of realizing that, in the end, she had been nothing compared to the life Sam had chosen for himself. “You didn’t even care enough to try to get us back.” She sobbed, her voice breaking.

Sam stood there, completely still, his face hollow with regret, guilt eating at him as he watched his sister unravel before him. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He couldn’t speak. How could he?

Dean glared at him, his eyes burning with anger, but it was a look that spoke volumes—this was Sam’s mistake, and now it was time to fix it.

Dean’s jaw clenched as he held her tight, feeling the heat of her rage and grief, her entire body vibrating with the tension that she couldn’t let go. His own chest tightened as he felt the overwhelming sense of betrayal rising in him too. He hadn’t wanted to believe it, not really—but now it was clear.

Y/N’s breath was ragged, her sobs coming in gasps as she buried her face against Dean’s chest. She couldn’t look at Sam anymore. She didn’t want to. “How could he leave us there?” She whispered brokenly, as if the question could somehow make sense of it all.

Dean’s gaze shot to Sam, who looked utterly devastated, his eyes full of regret, his posture stiff.

“Sam,” Dean said, his voice dangerous in a way that only came out when he was pissed beyond belief. “What the hell, man? We’re standing here, barely alive, and you didn’t even try to get us back?” His voice cracked in frustration, his eyes never leaving his brother. “She’s right. We were fighting for our lives every damn day, and you—”

“I didn’t have a choice!” Sam snapped, his voice sharp, cracking under the weight of his own guilt. “I didn’t know what to do! I—I couldn’t find you, Dean. I swear, I was—I was trying to figure out how to bring you back. But I didn’t even know where you were!” His hands fumbled in front of him, as if looking for something to grab onto. “I didn’t leave you. I just... I didn’t know how to get you back.”

But Y/N wasn’t listening anymore. She pulled herself from Dean’s arms, her face red with anger, tears still streaking down her cheeks as she stepped right up to Sam. “You didn’t try hard enough,” she spat, every word coated with venom. She couldn't look at him anymore.

Without a word, she turned and walked out the door, her footsteps uneven as she left the house behind. She needed air. She needed to be alone.

The cold hit her immediately, biting at her skin, but she didn't care. She sank down onto the front steps, her hands moving to her face as her chest tightened in a way she couldn’t control. Her body trembled, and she could barely keep her breath steady. Tears flowed freely now, a flood of emotion that she had been holding back since the moment they’d returned—since she’d realized that Sam, one of the last people she had always counted on, had left her behind.

She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping the sting of her tears would block out the storm inside her chest, but it didn’t help. Her body heaved with sobs, her head buried in her hands as the weight of everything crashed down on her.

Inside the house, the argument was escalating. Sam’s voice was muffled through the thin walls, but Y/N could still hear the frustration in his tone. Dean’s was louder, sharper, each word cutting deeper. It didn’t matter to her anymore. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want to hear their voices arguing over her, over the past.

Her mind was reeling, spinning with thoughts she couldn’t quiet. She tried to take deep breaths, to pull herself together, but it was impossible. She thought she was past this—thought the terror of purgatory was a memory she could lock away. But it never worked that way, did it? The fear always came back.

It was too much. The memories, the sounds, the feeling of being trapped in purgatory, the constant fight for survival, for breath. The way the ground had never felt solid beneath her feet. The way everything was dark and endless, every corner hiding something dangerous, something that could kill her. The way she had felt like nothing, just a pawn in a game of survival, fighting against an unstoppable tide.

The panic gripped her, suffocating her, and suddenly, she was back there.

She couldn’t breathe. The air felt thick, oppressive, like she was drowning. Her hands clutched at her sides, and she rocked back and forth on the cold steps, trying to ground herself, but she couldn’t. Her vision blurred with fresh tears, and her body shook uncontrollably. The memories were too vivid, too real.

Stay down. Keep quiet. They’re coming. Don’t let them hear you...

Please, please don’t let them find me. Please.

She was shaking, her whole body quaking with terror, her knees pulled up to her chest as she rocked on the steps, trying to hold onto something—anything—that would remind her she was safe now. But it wasn’t working. The fear, the panic, the terror—it was all too fresh. Too close.

Dean’s voice broke through the fog of her mind. “Y/N!”

It was sharp, desperate. His voice seemed to reach her from miles away, but it pulled her back, just a little. She could hear footsteps, loud and frantic now, coming closer, but she couldn’t stop herself from rocking. She couldn’t stop the tears that kept falling, couldn’t stop the fear from consuming her, from taking over every part of her.

“Y/N, hey, hey,” Dean’s voice was right next to her now. His hands were warm on her shoulders, his grip firm as he gently pulled her back from the edge, but she was too far gone.

Her breath came in short, frantic gasps, and she could feel her chest tightening, the air around her getting thinner and thinner. She wasn’t here, in this moment, with Dean and Sam. She was still stuck in purgatory, fighting for air, desperate, terrified.

Dean kneeled in front of her, his voice low, soothing as he tried to reach her. “Y/N.” His hands moved to her arms, trying to ground her, but she snapped her head up at the sound of his voice, her heart racing even faster than before. Without thinking, she jumped up from the steps, her chest heaving as panic exploded in her chest.

“No! No, Dean, we have to go!” She screamed, her eyes wide with terror. “We have to run! They’re coming! They’re going to get us!” Her voice broke on the words, each syllable filled with pure, unrelenting fear. She didn’t even realize she was trembling so violently. Her hands flew out in front of her as if to push him away, like somehow she could give him a running start ahead.

The frantic look in her eyes, the wildness in her movements—Dean froze for a split second, caught off guard by the intensity of her reaction. His body instinctively moved forward to close the distance, but his hands held up, trying to keep her from spiraling further.

“Hey, hey, wait,” Dean’s voice was calm, but his expression was one of disbelief, trying to understand what was happening. “Y/N, it’s okay. We’re safe.” He took another step toward her, his voice more urgent now. “You’re out. You’re with me. Nothing’s going to get us.”

But Y/N was beyond listening. Her breath was coming in quick, shallow gasps, and her eyes were darting around as though she could see something that wasn’t there, her chest heaving with the intensity of her panic.

“No, no, no,” she repeated over and over, her voice growing higher, more desperate. “We have to go. We have to leave! They’re coming!” She took a stumbling step backward, her body jerking as she tried to run, to flee from something that wasn’t there.

Dean’s eyes widened, his heart aching at the sight of her. He could see the fear consuming her—he had seen it in purgatory, had watched her fight for control, but this... this was different. It was like she had been torn open, exposed to something she couldn’t escape. Something she couldn’t outrun.

“Y/N, hey, look at me!” Dean’s voice was firm now, the edge of panic creeping in, but he was trying to hold it together for her. “Look at me. You’re safe. We’re not in there anymore. We’re out, okay?”

But Y/N wasn’t hearing him. She wasn’t with him. She was still stuck, lost in purgatory in her mind, the same place she had been for so long. The place where the monsters were always coming.

She started to turn away from him, her whole body tensing as if preparing to run. She was shaking, every part of her rigid with fear. “No, Dean! They’re coming! We have to run!”

Dean moved in quickly, stepping forward and gently grabbing her arms, keeping her from retreating any further. “Y/N!” His voice was softer now, more insistent. “Y/N, listen to me.” He locked eyes with her, his hands tightening just enough to ground her without hurting her. “Look at me. You’re not in purgatory anymore. You’re safe. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

But she was still shaking, her mind a whirlwind of fear and confusion. The echo of purgatory still felt real to her, the constant threat of death and danger clawing at her.

Her hands were shaking violently, and she finally collapsed into him, pressing her face into his chest, her breath ragged and broken.

"Dean," she whispered, voice hoarse with terror, "I can't... I can’t breathe. I can’t... I’m still there. I’m still... I can’t...” She gasped. “I’m still stuck there. I can’t get out.”

Dean’s heart broke at the sight of her. His voice was steady, despite the panic rising in his own chest. “I’m right here, Y/N. You’re out. You’re here. You’re with me. We’re okay.”

But Y/N couldn’t stop shaking. The memories were still fresh, the terror still suffocating. She felt like she was drowning all over again.

Dean’s voice grew firmer, pulling her focus back to him. “Look at me, Y/N. Focus. Breathe. In... out. Come on, just breathe with me. You’re not in there. You’re here with me. You’re safe.” He took a slow, deep breath, matching her frantic gasps with his calm, steady rhythm.

She tried to follow, her breath ragged, her chest tight. She couldn’t get it right, but Dean didn’t let up. He stayed there, holding her, guiding her, forcing her body to slow down.

“Just breathe, okay? You’re safe. I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m not going anywhere,” he said, his voice soft, but insistent.

Y/N’s body jerked, the fear still clawing at her, but slowly—so slowly—her breathing started to match his, each inhale and exhale a little steadier than the last. Her hands trembled in his grip, but she was listening now. She was trying.

The sound of Sam’s footsteps getting closer made Y/N flinch, her body tensing, but Dean’s grip tightened on her arms, grounding her back to him. “It’s Sam, it’s just Sam. Relax.” He reassured her. Sam hovered at the edge of the porch, his face pale, his eyes filled with guilt and regret as he watched his sister struggle. He didn’t say a word, but his presence was there, heavy, inescapable.

Dean shot him a look over his shoulder, his voice low but harsh. “This is your fault, Sam,” he growled, before turning his full attention back to Y/N.

Y/N squeezed her eyes shut as she clung to Dean, her body trembling less now, though the fear still lurked in the back of her mind. She was still shaking, but Dean’s steady presence was the only thing that made sense anymore. He was here, and that was all that mattered. Slowly, but surely, she felt herself coming back to the present, the overwhelming panic ebbing away.

“Come on,” Dean whispered, pulling her into his chest as she continued to shake. “I’ve got you. You’re safe. You’re out of there.”

Sam stood quietly, watching them. He could barely look at her, barely look at Dean. The weight of his failure—the fact that he hadn’t been there, hadn’t even tried to find them—was too much to bear. His heart sank as he watched Dean take care of Y/N, the realization that he had caused this all too real.

But there was nothing Sam could say. Nothing that would fix this. He had lost his chance.

Dean kept his arms wrapped around Y/N, whispering soothing words as she finally began to calm, her sobs dying down into quiet sniffles. Her body still shook, but it wasn’t from panic anymore. It was from the aftermath of everything she had been through. Everything they had both been through. Everything that Sam could have helped them out of, but didn’t.

The Impala’s engine hummed as it rolled down the empty road, the familiar sound a small comfort in the midst of everything that had just happened. The air inside the car was thick with tension, with so much unsaid between the three of them. Sam had been quiet since they left the house, his guilt weighing him down like an anchor, and Dean—Dean was focused on driving, his jaw set, his eyes straight ahead, trying to keep his mind from spiraling back to the mess they were all still tangled in.

Y/N had fallen asleep in the back seat, her head against the window, the weight of the past few hours—hell, the past few years—finally pulling her into a deep, much-needed sleep. The tension in her body had finally subsided, but her breathing was still uneven, a subtle reminder of how much she was still struggling.

Dean’s gaze flickered in the rearview mirror every few moments, checking on her, but he didn’t speak. He wasn’t sure if she’d wake up crying, or if she’d wake up terrified again, caught between two worlds—between purgatory and the life she used to know.

Sam was quiet beside him, his hands folded in his lap, his eyes trained on the passing road but clearly lost in thought. The silence stretched on until it was almost unbearable.

Dean knew Sam was probably wrestling with guilt, but he wasn’t sure if Sam even knew how to begin the conversation. Dean didn’t want to talk about it. He didn’t want to talk about purgatory, or the things they had seen, or the horrors they had lived through. But Sam needed answers. He needed to understand what had happened to their sister while they had been trapped there.

Finally, Sam broke the silence, his voice low but filled with regret. “Dean... I—I don’t even know where to start. But... I need to know what happened to her. What you guys went through.”

Dean’s grip on the wheel tightened, his knuckles turning white as his jaw clenched. He didn’t look at Sam—he couldn’t. Not yet. He needed to focus on the road, on anything but the memories that were clawing at him, threatening to pull him back into the nightmare.

But Sam needed to hear it. And as much as Dean wanted to protect her, as much as he didn’t want to relive the horrors of purgatory, he knew Sam needed to understand.

“Sam...” Dean’s voice was rough, the words caught in his throat. “You have no idea what it was like in there.”

Sam sat up straighter, his eyes never leaving Dean’s face. “I... I know I can’t understand. But I need to know what she went through. I need to know how bad it was for her. For both of you.”

Dean swallowed hard, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him. His eyes flickered to the rearview mirror again, looking at Y/N’s sleeping form, her face so peaceful for the first time in what felt like forever. He wasn’t sure how to explain it—how to put into words what he had witnessed, what he had felt during the hellish time they had spent in purgatory.

Dean exhaled slowly, his voice thick with emotion. “It was... it was brutal, man. Every damn day, it was a fight. Not just for us—for her.” He swallowed again, trying to get the words out without cracking. “She wasn’t... she wasn’t the same when we first got there. She was strong. She’s always been strong. But being there, being hunted by monsters and being trapped like that... it changed her.”

Sam shifted in his seat, uncomfortable, but he couldn’t look away. He needed to know.

Dean’s eyes stayed focused on the road as he spoke, his voice growing quieter as the weight of his words began to settle in his chest. “I had to take care of her, Sam. I had to watch her fall apart. Every day. It wasn’t just the monsters. It wasn’t just fighting for survival. It was what that place did to her.” He paused, his voice cracking just a little as he relived the memory. “She was scared, Sam. Absolutely terrified. I could see it in her eyes. I could feel it, like a constant pressure. It was like... like she was losing herself every damn day.”

Sam’s jaw tightened, the guilt eating at him with every word. “I had no idea... I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“No,” Dean said sharply, his voice almost a growl. “You didn’t. Because you weren’t there. We were. We fought our asses off every damn day just to stay alive, and I had to hold her together, Sam. I had to keep her from falling apart, from losing herself completely. And some days...” Dean’s voice faltered for a second, the weight of the memories pressing down on him. “Some days, I wasn’t sure if I could do it. If I could keep her with me.”

Sam stayed silent, his hands gripping the edge of the seat, his chest tightening with the brutal reality of what Dean was saying. He knew it hadn’t been easy for them—he had felt that when he first reunited with them. The distance between them, the look in Y/N’s eyes, the way Dean had kept his focus on her, protective and unyielding.

Dean took a shaky breath, glancing back at Y/N again. “There were days when... when she just couldn’t. When she couldn’t fight anymore. She’d... she’d just sit there, curled up, shaking like she was about to break in half. I don’t know if you can even imagine that, Sam. Watching her go through that. Watching her become some terrorized with no hope.”

Sam’s throat tightened, guilt flooding him as he tried to picture it. He couldn’t. It was too much. He had been so consumed by his own guilt, his own demons, that he hadn’t even considered how badly purgatory had affected his siblings. He hadn’t realized how much she had been suffering.

Dean shook his head, his voice softening as he continued. “It was the silence that did it. The constant, crushing silence. The emptiness of the place. And the monsters, the ones that never stopped hunting us. We didn’t have a moment’s peace. I don’t even know how we made it through.”

“You keep saying she was scared, but... what else? What did it do to her? How much of her did it take?” Sam’s voice cracked, his eyes searching his brother’s face for some kind of answer.

Dean swallowed hard, his eyes flickering to the rearview mirror again, where Y/N’s pale face was pressed against the window, her body still trembling slightly in her sleep. “It took everything, Sam. Every part of her. Every day was like living in a nightmare that never ended. She started to shut down after a while, like... like she didn’t think she could survive anymore. I had to pull her out of it. But it was never enough. Nothing was ever enough. And that place—that place... it never let up. It broke her, Sam. It broke me too.”

Dean’s voice caught in his throat again, and for a moment, the car was silent except for the low hum of the engine and the occasional creak of the Impala as it rolled down the road.

“Purgatory’s not just a place, Sam. It’s a damn mindfuck. It gets into your head. It turns you into something you don’t even recognize anymore. You don’t know what it’s like to be constantly hunted. To never feel safe, to always wonder if you’re going to die that day.” Dean’s eyes were haunted now, his voice distant as he spoke, remembering those long, dark months. “I had to keep her close. I protected her with everything in me and it wasn’t even enough.”

Sam could hear the strain in Dean’s voice, the exhaustion that had never really left him. The weight of the responsibility. The fear.

“And now...” Dean’s voice softened again, almost to a whisper, “now she’s back, but she’s not the same. The things we went through, the things she went through... they’re with her. She’s not gonna be able to shake it off. You can’t just forget something like that. Her PTSD—it’s gonna be bad, Sam. She’s gonna be jumpy. She’s gonna be scared. She’s gonna feel like she’s still there. And I... I don’t know how to fix that. I don’t know how to make her feel safe again because I know I barely feel safe.”

Sam’s heart broke as he absorbed the weight of his brother’s words. He had left them in purgatory. He had abandoned them, and now he was faced with the consequences of his failure. His siblings trauma was something they couldn’t fix alone, and Sam was going to have to help them. He had to make up for the time he had lost.

“I’m so sorry, Dean,” Sam said softly, his voice filled with regret. “I should’ve searched harder.”

Dean didn’t respond right away, his eyes focused on the road ahead. But after a long moment, he finally spoke, his voice tight, but filled with an unspoken promise. “Yeah you should have…” Dean trailed off, clenching his jaw. “We’ll figure it out, Sam. But it’s gonna take time. For all of us.”

And in the backseat, Y/N stirred slightly in her sleep, her breath still shaky but a little more even now, her body curled up tightly as if she was still trying to protect herself from the memories that haunted her. Dean’s grip on the wheel tightened and he focused his attention back to the road.

The hours passed, the road stretching out in front of them as they made their way towards the nearest motel. The car was quiet, save for the occasional sound of tires humming on the asphalt and the soft breath of Y/N as she slept in the back seat. Dean kept glancing in the rearview mirror, checking on her every few minutes, but for the most part, his focus was on the road. His mind was still racing, replaying everything that had happened in the past few days, in the past few months, hell, the last few years. Every part of him was exhausted—physically, mentally, emotionally. But it was the ache in his chest, the fear for his sister, that was the hardest to shake.

Sam had fallen quiet next to him, his eyes lost somewhere in the dark night outside the window, probably replaying their conversation from earlier. There was guilt in his posture—his slumped shoulders, the way his hands were tense on his knees, like he was trying to keep himself together. Dean didn’t know what to say to him anymore, not with the weight of their shared history, the things that had gone unsaid for so long.

The Impala’s engine purred on, the miles slipping away, but the tension in the car was almost suffocating. Dean didn’t want to think about purgatory anymore. He didn’t want to think about how it had broken Y/N. He just wanted to move on. But there was no moving on. Not yet. Not when the scars were still so fresh, when they were all so damn broken.

Dean pulled into the parking lot of a small motel on the outskirts of town. It was a place he had passed by countless times, a quiet spot that they had used more than once in the past. The neon sign flickered in the dark, casting an eerie glow over the place, but it was far enough away from the main road that they wouldn’t be disturbed. Dean turned to look at Sam, who was still sitting there, staring out the window.

“You good?” Dean asked, his voice flat but laced with an edge of concern.

Sam nodded slowly but didn’t look at him. “Yeah. Just... thinking.”

Dean didn’t press him. Instead, he pulled the keys out of the ignition and turned to the back seat, checking on Y/N. She hadn’t stirred since the car had stopped, but her breathing was still unsteady, a telltale sign that the trauma was still haunting her even in her sleep.Her head rested against the window, her face pale, her body curled into the seat like she was trying to protect herself from something that wasn’t there anymore.

Dean didn’t want to wake her. Not yet. He knew the toll purgatory had taken on her, and he didn’t want to rush her back into reality too quickly. He wanted her to rest, to feel safe, but part of him—part of him that was always on alert—was worried about what would happen if she woke up in the wrong moment.

Sam, however, didn’t see the concern in his brother’s eyes as he pulled himself from the car and moved toward the back of the Impala. Dean’s gaze flickered to him, his voice low and filled with warning.

“Sam, wait. Let her sleep. She—”

But Sam was already leaning into the backseat, his hand gently tapping Y/N’s shoulder. “Y/N, hey, we’re here.”

Dean’s eyes widened in alarm. He knew it was too soon. Too soon for Sam to try and wake her up like this. Her instincts, sharpened to a razor’s edge during their time in purgatory, would kick in. She wasn’t going to wake up slowly, not after everything she’d been through. But it was already too late.

Y/N's body jolted awake with a sharp gasp, her eyes snapping open in a split second, wide with terror. She immediately went rigid, every muscle in her body locking as her eyes darted around, scanning the unfamiliar surroundings, confusion flooding her mind. The fleeting fragments of reality and nightmare twisted in her head. Purgatory had taught her to fight first, think later. The moment her gaze landed on Sam, it was like everything she had suffered, every monster she had fought, every split second of terror, came crashing back all at once.

“No!” Y/N screamed, her voice raw with panic and desperation. She didn’t recognize him, didn’t see Sam as her brother—only a threat, an enemy, someone to fight against. Her arm shot out before Sam could react, grabbing him by the collar and throwing him back with an unexpected force. She swung with wild, panicked energy, not knowing where she was or who she was fighting.

“Sam! Get back!” Dean shouted, but it was already too late. Y/N’s instincts had already kicked in, and her body was moving like a well-trained soldier, every movement a flashback to purgatory’s brutal reality.

Sam stumbled back, narrowly avoiding her fist as she lunged again, her face twisted in fear and anger. “Get off me! Get away!” she shouted, her words incoherent, her mind still trapped in the hellish cycle of survival. She wasn’t seeing Sam—she was seeing the monsters, the endless nightmarish beasts from purgatory that had hounded her every single day. The creatures that never stopped hunting her.

“Y/N!” Dean’s voice cracked with urgency as he reached for her, trying to grab her arms. “It’s me! It’s Dean! You’re safe, okay? You’re safe now!” But his words barely cut through the fog of fear and confusion clouding her mind.

Y/N thrashed against his grip, her knees buckling beneath her as she dropped into a crouch, her hands clawing at the air like she was still trying to fight off something invisible. “No! No! They’re coming!” she screamed, her breath coming in ragged, desperate gasps. Her whole body trembled as she curled into herself, rocking slightly as if trying to shield herself from an attack that wasn’t there.

Dean was trying to hold onto her, but she was so damn fast, her survival instincts too well-developed. “Y/N!” Dean’s voice broke, his hands desperately grabbing her wrists as he pulled her into his chest, his voice low and soothing, though his heart was pounding in his throat. “It’s okay. We’re not in purgatory anymore. You’re safe. It’s just me, okay?”

But Y/N wasn’t listening. Her chest was heaving as if she couldn’t catch her breath, her eyes wide, darting around the room as she continued to struggle in Dean’s arms. “No! No, please!” she sobbed, the sound tearing at Dean’s heart. “They’re here. They’re going to get me. Dean, we have to run. We can’t stay here. We can’t! They’ll find us—” Her voice cracked, desperate, pleading, as her eyes darted around, scanning the parking lot like she was expecting the next threat to come barreling toward them. But it wasn’t there. It was never going to come. Not in the real world. Not anymore.

Dean tightened his grip on her, holding her still, trying to calm her. “Shh, I’ve got you. You’re safe. We’re not in that place anymore. It’s over. It’s over, baby.”

Y/N’s body trembled against his chest as she tried to push away from him, still disoriented, still lost in the trauma of what had happened. Her mind flashing with images of all the horrors she had endured there. Dean tried again to hold her, to ground her. He was strong—too strong for her to escape—and yet it felt like she was slipping through his fingers. “Shh, I’ve got you. I’m here, okay? You’re safe, Y/N. You’re with me. We’re safe.” His voice was tight with emotion as he held her close, trying to block out the terror that had overtaken her. “You’re home. You’re not there anymore.”

But Y/N’s body continued to tremble, her mind still fighting to keep her from the monsters that lived in the dark corners of her mind. Her fists shook, her nails digging into Dean’s shirt as she struggled to get away, her mind not yet fully realizing she was safe.

Dean’s voice dropped to a whisper as he stroked her hair, his hand gently pulling her back into him, keeping her close so she couldn’t hurt herself or anyone else. “It’s over, Y/N. You’re safe. You’re home. I won’t let anything happen to you. No one’s coming. It’s just me and Sam, alright?”

Then, a flicker of recognition.

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. Y/N froze, her body taut with tension.

Sam.

Sam was there.

She looked around with wild eyes until they locked onto the face in front of her. Sam, standing a few feet away, his face still full of shock and guilt, his body frozen in place. She stared at him, as if trying to make sense of something that had been lost.

For a heartbeat, everything else faded away. The screaming, the terror, the fight for survival—all of it vanished in that single moment when she saw him. Sam.

Her mouth trembled as she breathed out his name, barely above a whisper. “Sammy?”

She blinked. Once, twice. The recognition was slow, but it hit her like a wave crashing over the shore. Sam. Sam was here. And if Sam was here... it could only mean one thing.

She wasn’t in purgatory anymore.

The realization hit her with such force that it almost knocked the breath out of her. She wasn’t surrounded by darkness, by monsters, by the endless fight. She wasn’t there anymore. She was... home. She was safe.

Sam wasn’t a shadow in the dark. He wasn’t one of the creatures that had hounded her every day. He wasn’t part of the nightmare. Her chest rose and fell with a jagged breath as her whole body went still.

“Sammy... you’re here.” Her voice was shaky, still wrapped in disbelief. Her eyes scanned his face, her mind still reeling, but it was there. That final piece of clarity.

Dean didn’t know if it was the fact that Sam was real, or if it was the way her body slowly began to relax against him, but the tension in Y/N’s form started to ebb. She was still trembling, still disoriented, but the fight was gone. Her mind had finally caught up to the present.

The grip of fear around her heart started to loosen.

Sam stood frozen, his body still, but his eyes softened when she called out for him and he understood. He saw that he was her pull to reality. That if he were around, it was her reminder that she was out. That she was safe.

"I’m here, Y/N." Sam said, his voice cracking, full of love and guilt. "I’m so sorry. I’m here now. You’re safe. I promise, sweetheart."

He took a step closer, hesitant, unsure if he should reach out, if he should even get too close. But he had to try. His voice trembled as he spoke again, his words coming in a rush of guilt, sorrow, and raw emotion. "I’m here. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. I should’ve found you, I should’ve—"

But before he could finish, Y/N’s body moved with an almost primal urgency. Without thinking, she lunged forward, her hands reaching for him. And then, she was in his arms.

Sam barely had time to register it, his own arms wrapping around her as she buried her face in his chest. Y/N was shaking, her whole body convulsing with sobs, but she held on so tight, like if she let go, the nightmare would come crashing back. Sam held her just as fiercely, his own heart pounding as he whispered, over and over, "I’m here. I’m here. It’s okay. It’s okay. You’re safe now."

For a long moment, there were no words. Just the sound of Y/N's breath ragged against Sam’s chest, her body shaking in his arms. Sam didn’t know what else to say. He had failed her, failed Dean and the weight of that failure hung heavy in the air between them. But for now, he could do this. He could hold her, let her know that he was there. That he was there for both of them.

"I’m so sorry.” Sam said again, his voice thick with emotion. "I wish I could’ve been there with you. I would’ve traded places with you in an instant. With both of you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there."

Y/N's hands clutched at him desperately, her voice muffled in his shirt as she finally spoke. "I—I don’t want to be angry at you. I can’t..." Her voice trailed off, as if she didn’t have the strength to hold on to that anger anymore. It was just too much. Too much fear, too much pain, too much everything.

She swallowed hard, the lump in her throat threatening to choke her, but she pushed it down. "Sam... I—" Her voice faltered, but she steadied herself. "I don’t have the strength to be angry anymore. I—I was terrified, Sam. Every second.... but I can’t hold onto this anger. I just—I can’t."

Sam’s eyes welled with tears as he pressed his forehead to hers, his voice breaking. "I’m so sorry, Y/N and I’ll spend the rest of my life making it right. I’ll be here for you. For both of you. I promise."

Y/N’s arms tightened around him, and Sam felt a flicker of hope stir in his chest. He wasn’t sure if things would ever be the same between them, if they could ever get back what had been lost. But he would spend every damn day trying to make it right, trying to help her heal. And maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.

"I forgive you," Y/N whispered, her voice so quiet, so raw.

Dean watched them, his arms crossed as he stood a few feet away, letting the siblings have their moment. His heart ached for all of you. The pain, the suffering—they had all been through too much. But seeing Y/N in Sam’s arms, finally finding some semblance of peace, that was something.

He could see it now. The crack in the wall, the first real sign that they could begin to heal.

Dean nodded to himself, taking a deep breath as he walked closer to them. "You hear that, Y/N?" His voice was soft, but the weight of it was clear. "We’re all in this together. Always. We’re not alone in this."

Y/N looked up at her brothers—at Sam, still holding her, and Dean, standing behind them, his eyes full of love and protection. She felt a weight lift from her chest, not completely, but enough to know that they had her.

She finally let out a shaky breath, the kind of breath that carried a small but meaningful relief. "Yeah," she whispered, a tremor still in her voice, but something else too—something fragile, but real. "Together."

And maybe, for the first time in a long time, it felt like it might just be enough.

[winniewritesstories]

Taking After Them | Winchester!Reader

Some headcanons on what it would be like if you were just like your big brothers!!

Taking after Dean:

Having the same taste in music, rocking out in Baby to Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Bob Seger, etc.

Driving Sam crazy because there's basically two of Dean

On movie nights, you and Dean basically act out the scenes for Rocky, every Clint Eastwood film, Die Hard, so on, there's really no need to even play the movie (Sam is dying inside)

Arguing over the last slice of pie

Stealing his clothes, especially band t shirts

Always begging Dean to let you drive Baby

Loving slasher films & Halloween, always planning costumes with him (but rarely getting to actually dress up as hunting gets in the way)

Making pop culture references with Dean

Being obsessed with bacon

Calling each other Batman & Robin

Being pretty flirty as you get older, Dean giving you pick up lines & tips

Him teaching you to fight & defend yourself, being proud of how strong you are but also scared for you

Taking after Sam:

Always down for a library trip with Sam

Dean rolling his eyes at his "nerdy little siblings"

Arguing over the best fantasy books and films

Swapping & sharing books, talking about how you liked the book or what you didn't like

Eating your fair share of salads BUT you love pie almost as much as Dean does

Going through a break up and Sam playing Celine Dion at full volume while you cry

Talking about college when the time comes, Sam helping you with your admissions essays

Him helping you study by quizzing you, marking practice tests, etc.

Dean always complaining about how long you both take to wash your hair

Dragging Dean around museums, you & Sam having a great time & Dean losing his mind (he likes the gift shop though)

Sam teaching you Latin & lore, you helping him organise the Bunker's files & archives

Going for runs with him but complaining like 90% of the time

BUT overall I think you'd be a little bit like both of them while still being your own person. Growing up with little influence other than those two, it would impossible for you not to be like them.

graphics from @saradika-graphics <3

[winchesterdefender]

And Then There Were Three | Winchester Sister I

Summary - A baby shows up on the Winchester's doorstep, and their entire lives change.

Pairings/characters - John Winchester, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Meg Winchester (OFC), Sam & Dean Winchester x little sister, John Winchester x daughter

Warnings - very mild cursing, John Winchester

Language - English (British)

Word Count - 3,096

Notes - This is the first instalment of the Winchester Sister series featuring my OFC Meg Winchester! Please be kind <3

Credits - dividers by the lovely @firefly-graphics

UPDATE - I have moved my writing to @winniewritesstories to make my writing easier to find than on this mess of a blog! I won't be taking this down but all future writing (for Meg and reader inserts) will be there!

Dean Winchester was strong. He was brave, and fierce. He fought monsters - has done his whole life, as long as he can remember. He liked to think he was unbreakable, invincible. The hits kept coming, and he kept taking them. Fear, pain, worry - he pushed it all down, kept it locked away. In some ways, he had a heart of ice. He never broke.

Dean Winchester was strong.

And then one day, just before he turned nineteen, a baby appeared on a motel doorstep. A baby who wasn't his, but was. Would always be. A baby in a pram, with a note addressed to John Winchester, a note that eased the fears this baby was his, but it would be his, really. John Winchester was never a father. Not to him, not to Sam, and therefore not to this baby.

It was early October, and already Maine was cold. Dean's breath clouded in front of him in the cool, dark night. A glance around the parking lot revealed nobody, no cars, nothing to indicate where this baby had come from. His first instinct was to bring the baby in from the cold, and he did, careful to fix the salt line the wheels of the pram disturbed.

The first thing that struck Dean was that this kid was definitely a Winchester. They were a carbon copy of baby Sammy, same little button nose and eyes, barely any hair gracing their head. A memory tugged at the corners of his mind, four years old and holding Sammy for the first time, his mom supporting Sam's head while dad took a picture. Still a kid with two parents but keenly aware of his responsibility, of how his centre of gravity had shifted from himself to his baby brother.

But his mom wasn't here now and Dean would have to support this baby's head on his own. And his dad hadn't taken pictures of his kids since Mary died. So his centre of gravity shifted again to the baby in the pram. Another of John Winchester's kids for Dean to raise. Part of him was angry, part of him defeated. Sammy was fourteen, able to look after himself now. Dean didn't have to worry about him in the same way - Sam fed himself, did his homework, all that crap. Dean had almost been free.

But he couldn't blame the baby. He didn't. It didn't ask for this. Didn't understand anything. Dean reached a hand down, pulled the little yellow blanket away from their face. It was small, smaller than Sammy had been, and not just because Dean was grown now and over six foot. Small in a way that told him this baby was young. Small in a way that put fear into him. Small in a way that made him desperate to protect them from the horrors and cruelty of their world.

He felt sick knowing he could never protect them from that. From their lives. This baby was a Winchester, which basically meant it was fucked.

The bathroom door opened, and Sam walked out.

"What is that?" he asks, damp hair curling against his forehead.

"A baby," Dean replies, still looking down at them.

"A what?" Sam asks incredulously, crossing the room to stand by his brother. He looked down and saw there was, in fact, a baby. "The hell did this come from?"

"Was on the doorstep. Came with this." Dean said, handing Sam the unopened letter addressed to their father.

"It's dad's?" Sam was having a hard time digesting all this. He had to admit, his first thought was it was Dean's. "Where even is he?"

"Bar, I think. Reckon he knows about it?"

"If he knew he had another kid out there, don't ya think he would've mentioned it?"

"Yeah, 'cos Dad's a real open book." Dean replied. Sam turned the envelope over and made to open. "What're you doing? Don't do that, is addressed to Dad."

"Figured this might give us some answers. Maybe a name for the mystery baby."

Dean snatched the letter from his brother. "We ain't reading this til Dad has."

"Is Dad dating anyone?" Sam asked. "He's never mentioned anyone."

Dean shrugged a shoulder. "Doubt Dad dates. Probably a one time thing."

"And after he gave me the safe sex talk. Hypocrite." Sam said. Dean shot him a pointed look but didn't say anything. After all, Sam wasn't wrong. Dean'd received the John Winchester safe sex talk, too (an uncomfortable memory).

As if summoned, the rumble of the Impala's engine and the beams of her headlights signalled their father's arrival. The brothers exchanged a look, knowing that a mystery baby showing up on their doorstep would not go down well with John Winchester. Dean didn’t know why, but he positioned himself in front of the pram, standing between the baby and the door John would walk through. Sam copied him.

The door opened and John walked in, stepping over the salt line. He nodded his head towards his sons, locking the door and shrugging off his leather jacket. He turned around; neither Sam nor Dean had moved, or even said anything.

"What?" he asked gruffly.

"Um, so something kinda... turned up. For you." Dean started. John cocked an eyebrow.

"This ain't exactly our forwarding address. What is it and how'd it get here?" John asked, heading to the fridge for a beer.

"Well... it's..." Dean figured it was easier to just show him, so he stepped to the side and motioned for Sam to do the same.

John nearly dropped his beer. He immediately fixed his gaze on Dean.

"What did you do?" he asked. Dean sighed. Why'd everyone assume it was his?

"It's yours," Sam said bluntly, taking the letter from Dean's hand and holding it out for him. "Showed up on the doorstep with this."

This time John did drop his beer.

The bottle smashed on the floor, glass and alcohol flying everywhere. The sudden noise startled the baby awake, and they promptly burst out crying. John reached for the letter, Sam for a broom, which left Dean with the baby.

He gently lifted them out of the pram, careful of their head. The yellow blanket fell away slightly, revealing a light pink romper underneath. Presumably a girl then. A little sister. Dean rocked them gently, the way he remembers his mother doing with Sam, quietly shushing to calm her down.

In his arms, he was again struck by how small she was. He held her easily in just two hands, one under her head, the other on her back. She opened her eyes then, wide and blue like all babies, taking in the motel room around them before settling on Dean's face.

"Hello, you," he whispered, unable to keep the smile off his face. "I'm your big brother." His heart clenched in his chest as he held her.

"What's the letter say?" Sam asks, knelt on the floor to pick up the glass. John was staring intently at the letter in his hands.

"It's from her mother. Says she can't look after a baby. Too young."

"Jesus, Dad. How young?" Sam asks. Dean groans inwardly. Not the time for this, Sam.

"What the hell are you trying to ask?" John fired back. "She was early twenties. Drinking age, anyway. I don't know why the hell she'd think I'm any more capable of this than she would be. How the hell'd she even find us?" Sam and Dean both shrugged. How were they to know?

"What's her name?" Dean asked, still swaying gently back and forth.

"Amanda something. Don't really remember, to be honest. It was two nights. The sex was alright, nothing special. Didn't exchange numbers."

Sam and Dean cringed. They did not need details.

"I meant the baby, Dad." Dean replied. John at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed.

"Right, of course. Says here..." He scanned the letter. "Margaret." Dean screwed up his nose. That's an old lady name. His little sister was going to be cool, and that couldn't happen with a name like Margaret.

"That's a terrible name for a baby," Dean said aloud, looking down at her. "She doesn't look like a Margaret."

"Meg March was actually a Margaret," Sam said. John and Dean looked at him, perplexed. "Little Women? Louisa May Alcott?" More blank stares. Sam just rolled his eyes.

"Meg." Dean repeats, squinting his eyes at the baby. It fit. "Meg Winchester."

"It doesn't matter what she's called," John said. "We ain't keeping it." Dean's head snapped up.

"What?" Dean asked incredulously.

"How the hell are we going to look after a baby, Dean?" John asked. "We don't have a house, or any baby supplies. We're always on the move. We're hunters, not nannies. I spent two nights with a woman a year ago and then a baby appears. Kid's probably not even mine anyway. We'll take her to a fire station or something."

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. They'd managed before. Sammy had been but six months old when they started hunting, and Dean - though he tried - hadn't been able to help out as much as he could now. This baby was family. Family is everything to the Winchester's.

"Course she's yours, Dad, look at her! She's a spitting image of Sammy as a baby. Besides, Sam was a baby and we raised him on the road. You can't just abandon her." Dean cried out.

"Maybe Dad is right, Dean. She'd be better off with a family - "

"We're her family! The three of us."

"A real family, with a mom, a dad, a house. She'd be normal, Dean, safe. We can't give her any of that!" Sam replied. True, he was projecting his own dreams onto a baby, but he had a valid point, or so he thought. All Dean heard, however, was that Sam didn't believe they were a real family.

"We are a real family, Sam. Just because we don't have a white picket fence, don't mean we ain't a real family. Besides, you really want this kid growing up in the system? Anything could happen to her!"

"Anything could happen to her here, Dean! All it takes is - is a spirit, or a pissed off monster out for revenge, and she-"

"But we can protect her from that. You think some civilian family would keep her safe if a monster decided to get revenge, Sammy? You have know idea what happens in the foster system. She could be abused, or trafficked, or-"

"Enough!" John snapped loudly, startling the baby again. He couldn't hear himself think. And he did need to think, long and hard, about what was best for them, and for the baby. Sam made a good point, of course, and God knows John's not equipped to look after a baby. But Dean was right, too. Anything could happen to her out there. "Sam, get me a beer."

Sam sighed but did as he was told. John walked over to Dean, who was gently rocking the baby to settle her after John's outburst. He looked at the baby for the first time, really looked at her. Dean was right; she was a carbon copy of baby Sam. And she was cute, too. Dean, admittedly, had been a funny looking baby, especially as a newborn, a squished face and large head he eventually grew into. But this baby - Meg, he reminded himself - was sweet looking, almost doll-like, with her pouty pink lips and button nose.

He and Mary had never talked about more kids - Sam had only been a baby when she died - but he'd always imagined them having one or two more, and he'd always wanted a little girl. Mary had, too, he had no doubt.

But Mary wasn't here, and this wasn't her baby. Part of him felt guilty, as though he'd been unfaithful, despite the fact she'd been dead almost fifteen years. John thought of his own father then, Henry, who'd taken off when John was only four, leaving him and his mother on their own. Even all these years later, he still felt bitter about it - bitter and hurt. Of course it hurt, knowing your own father didn't want you and took off into the night. And that's what he was about to do to this little girl. Her mother had already bailed. John was all she had left.

John, and his boys. Sam had kept his distance, almost wary of the baby in Dean's arms, but Dean - he was whipped. That was the only word for it. He was smiling softly down at her, cooing gently to soothe her. Deep down, John knew Dean would end up doing more for this baby than he ever could. But maybe that was a good thing. Dean wouldn't make the mistakes John did. Wouldn't leave her alone like he did, leave her to raise herself.

The guilt twisted in his gut like a knife, but he knew what he had to do.

"We'll keep her. It'll be safest for her. We'll... we'll make it work somehow. We'll have to." John said, placing a large, calloused hand gently on his daughter's head. Dean looked up at him with Mary's green eyes, raw hope etched onto his face.

"Yeah?" He asked softly. John nodded once, clapping his eldest son gently on the shoulder. Sam handed him a beer, then stood on Dean's other side.

"Can I hold her?" Sam asked. Dean looked reluctant to let her go.

"Be careful. She's really small and can't hold her head up on her own yet, so make sure you support it. Don't drop her, for God's sake." Dean rambled on as he gently shifted the infant into Sam's open arms, already fretting like a mother hen. John smiled softly at his children - all three of them.

Sam smiled at the baby, rocking her gently the way Dean had. "Hi, Meg. I'm gonna be your favourite big brother." He said. Dean rolled his eyes.

"No way, Sammy. I'm already her favourite."

"That's crap, she doesn't speak, can't even smile. You don't know that."

"Sure she can, she smiled at me just now."

"Yeah, that was gas, Dean. She farted on you." Sam replied, and Dean's smile faltered.

"Speaking of," Dean said, changing the conversation abruptly. "We're gonna need supplies. Diapers, a car seat, formula."

John nodded, moving to the pram that Meg had turned up in. There was a bag in the basket underneath the bassinet. John leafed through it quickly. "There's some stuff here," he said, holding up a muslin cloth and some diapers. "Enough for tonight, at least. We'll find somewhere in town tomorrow that sells baby stuff. Maybe pick up a book, too."

"A baby book?" Sam asked. "Why'd you need that?"

"It's been a long time since I did any of this, Sammy. Besides, I didn't do it on my own before, I was working a lot. Your mom... your mom looked after you guys most. Did all the hard stuff." John admitted quietly. The room fell into reverent silence the way it always did when someone brought up Mary. Sam didn't point out that he'd still been a baby when she died, and John had raised him for most of life alone. It didn't seem like the time. But a book seemed overboard, in Sam's opinion. How hard could a baby be?

Only a minute or so later, Sam's question was answered. Meg began fussing in his arms, quietly at first, but getting louder despite Sam's gentle shushing and swaying. When her cries turned to wails, he looked up at his father and brother, panic in his eyes. "I think I broke her."

It was Dean that stepped forward, plucking the baby from his arms. "You didn't break her," he assured Sam. John stepped up too, looking down at the infant whose fist she was trying to squeeze into her mouth.

"See how she's sucking her hand?" John spoke quietly. "Mean's she's hungry. C'mon Sam, I'll show you how to make a bottle. If I can work it out, that is."

Sam and John stepped away to prepare the formula. Dean watched them as he swayed the baby. "It's okay, princess. Daddy and Sammy will get you some food."

Dean watched his father, usually so confident and self assured in everything he did, falter at almost every step. Checking the instructions on the formula, then checking again. Rinsing a bottle and filling it with hot water. Hands hesitant, unsure of what they were doing. Hands that could assemble a shot gun in under a minute, but seemed to tremble as he shook the bottle. Testing the temperature on his palm, his wrist, then his wrist again. He had no idea how warm it should be.

Although it was strange to see John so unsteady, Dean found it strangely... comforting. Humanising, perhaps. He pictured briefly John doing the same thing for him as a baby, the unsure hands of a first time father. Pictured his mom along side, walking him through each step.

John handed the formula to Dean. "You gonna do it?" he asked. Dean nodded. He didn't want to relinquish the baby, even though John hadn't even held her yet. Although, he'd made no move to hold her either. John talked him through it, how to hold the bottle, at what angle, as best he could remember.

Dean paced slowly around the small living space of their motel room with his sister in his arms. Sam had pulled out some homework, John writing something in his journal, beer in hand. But for Dean, it was just him and his sister in the world. Hell, his sister was his world now.

Dean Winchester was strong.

But he could feel his heart thawing out for the baby in his arms. He knew he needed to be strong for her, yet he'd never felt so weak. The fear of what could happen to her, the need to keep her safe, was almost overwhelming. Was this parenthood?

The love, too, he supposed was overwhelming. The kind that made his heart clench, made him want to fix the world for her and burn it down at the same time. The kind he'd kill and die for.

And somehow, despite everything he'd seen and done in only eighteen years, this was the scariest thing he'd encountered to date. He kept it together for her. He was strong. He had to be.

He's Dean Winchester.

[thewnchstrs]

Dream a Little Dream of Me

Pairing: Winchester!Sister (OC)

Summary: When Bobby falls into a coma and can't be awakened, Sam, Dean and Ellie race to his side.

Disclaimers: almost smut, near-death, mentions of childhood abuse, blood

Word Count:  9.7k

S E R I E S   M A S T E R L I S T

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Dean’s POV

I could hear the Doobie Brothers even from where I parked the Impala outside of the last dive bar in town after having dropped Ellie off down the street to do some searching on foot. I yanked the bar door open, frantically looking around for any sign of Sam who’d been missing for the better part of four hours. 

I breathed a sigh of relief when I spotted him sitting at the bar hunched over a glass. “There you are.” Sam looked up at me. I raised my eyebrows, arms raised. “What are you doing?”

“Having a drink,” he slurred.

I eyed the dark liquid moving slowly around inside the glass before looking back to Sam with a questioning look. “It's two in the afternoon. You drinking whiskey?”

“I drink whiskey all the time.”

“No you don't.”

“What's the big deal? You get sloppy in bars, you hit on chicks all the time. Why can't I?”

I glanced around the six other patrons, spotting only one woman who was in her mid forties with blazing red hair. I looked back to Sam, “It's kind of slim pickings around here. What's going on with you?”

Sam looked back down to his glass, swirling the alcohol. “I tried, Dean.”

“To do what?” He wasn’t making any sense.

“To save you.”

I watched him for a second before pulling out the bar stool beside him, realizing it'd probably be a while before I could get him out of here. I motioned to the bartender, “Can I get a whiskey? Double, neat.”

“I'm serious, Dean.”

“No, you're drunk.”

“I mean, where you're going...what you're gonna become. I can't stop it,” he said, defeated. From where I sat now I could see that the rims of his eyes were red. “I'm starting to think maybe even Ruby can't stop it. But really, the thing is...no one can save you.”

Although it's what I knew all along, hearing it come from Sam made my heart sink a little. “That's what I've been telling you.”

“No, that's not what I mean...I mean, no one can save you, because you don't wanna be saved,” he said, looking at me now. I kept my eyes on his, trying to understand where all this was coming from. “I mean, how can you care so little about yourself? What's wrong with you?”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just stared back at Sam when my ringtone cut through the tension. We both looked away as I pulled my phone out, not recognizing the number. “Hello? Yes, this is Mr. Snyderson.” A low, firm voice was on the other end when he said something that automatically made my heart sink. The urgency in my tone making Sam look to me. “What? Where?”

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Ellie’s POV

It nearly killed me to see Bobby look so vulnerable in the hospital's bed. He was found unconscious in his motel room, but he didn’t look sick, he looked like he was just sleeping. I looked to the doctor, crossing my arms over my chest, “So, what's the diagnosis?”

The doctor shook his head, flipping through Bobby's file. “We've tested everything we can think to test. He seems perfectly healthy."

“Except that he's comatose,” I pointed out.

“Mr. Snyderson, you're his emergency contact,” the doctor ignored me, looking to Dean who flicked his eyes to the doctor. “Anything we should know? Any illnesses?”

Dean wracked his memory, “No, he- he never gets sick. I mean, he doesn't even catch cold.”

“Doctor, is there anything you can do?” Sam asked.

“Look, I'm sorry, but we don't know what's causing it...so we don't know how to treat it." I looked to Bobby, wondering just what kind of trouble he got himself into to get this way. “He just...went to sleep, and didn't wake up.”

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We hoped Bobby’s last motel room he was staying in could give us some idea as to what happened to him. Sam looked back at us as he opened the door to the room, “So, what was Bobby doing in Pittsburgh?”

“Unless he's taking an extremely lame vacation...” Dean said as we looked around the seemingly normal room.

“I mean, he must have been working a job, right?” I assumed, the three of us opening cupboards, drawers, desks, but nothing even gave away that Bobby had ever actually been here. If it hadn’t been for the paramedics telling us the room number, I would’ve insisted it was the wrong room.

“Well, you think there'd be some sort of sign of something, you know? Research, news clippings...Or a fuckin' pizza box or a beer can,” Dean said as he loudly shut one of the dresser drawers.

“How 'bout this?” Sam said from behind Dean and I where he stood in front of the open closet. He pushed aside the t-shirts and pants to reveal the back wall of the closet filled with maps, obituaries, diagrams of flowers and mushrooms along with different herbs.

“Good ol' Bobby, always covering up his tracks,” Dean chuckled.

“You make heads or tails of any of this?” Sam asked.

Dean reached into the closet and pulled down a print out depicting a flower, “‘Silene capensis’, which of course means absolutely nothing to me.”

“Here,” I said, pulling the obituary clipping from the wall. “‘Dr. Walter Gregg, sixty-four, university neurologist.’”

“How'd he bite it?”

I scanned the page, frowning, “Actually, they don't know. They say he just went to sleep and didn't wake up.”

Dean took the obituary from me, examining it. “That sound familiar to you?”

Sam leaned against the closet doorframe. “Alright...so let's say Bobby was looking into the doc's death. You know, hunting after something-"

“—that started hunting him,” I finished, nodding along to Sam’s theory.

Dean nodded too. “Alright, stay here. See if you guys can make heads or tails of this.”

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, “What are you gonna do?”

Dean smiled, “I'm gonna look into the good doctor myself.”

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Dean’s POV 

“So you're Dr. Gregg's lab assistant?” I asked as she led me into Walter Gregg's office.

“That's right.”

I glanced around the place, the shiny oak desk, the numerous bookshelves and tall windows with the blinds drawn. His desk was cluttered with pens, books and papers like he’d disappeared out of thin air right in the middle of working. “His death must have come as a shock to you.”

She nodded. “Yeah, it did. But, still, to go in your sleep, peaceful...that’s what you wish for, right?”

“Yeah. Right,” I said as I looked back at the desk, picking up a book on sleep studies. “Dr. Gregg uh…studied sleeping disorders? Dreams?”

“I don't understand. I went over all of this with the other detective,” she said, seeming suspicious of me already.

I narrowed my eyes at her, “You already spoke to another detective?”

“Yes. A very nice older man with a beard.”

At least we knew we were on the right track if Bobby had already been here. “Well, I'd love to hear it again if you don't mind.”

The woman hesitated, “Thing is, I'm sort of busy. Maybe we could do this later?”

“Sure. Yeah. Just bring you down to the station later this afternoon, and get your statement on tape, do it all official-like,” I said, making her squirm under my gaze. She tore her eyes from mine.

“Look, okay, I didn't know about Dr. Gregg's experiments. Not until I was cleaning out his files.”

“His experiments...the ones he was conducting on...sleeping?” 

“No one knew, okay? Not the university, not anybody,” she said quickly before defensively crossing her arms over her chest. “I already spoke with a lawyer and he told me I can't be held liable for anything.”

I racked my brain for anything to get this girl talking. “Maybe you couldn't, but that was before the new evidence came to light.”

She furrowed her eyebrows and shifted on her feet, “New evidence? What new evidence?”

I hesitated this time before settling with my go-to: “I'm not at liberty to say.”

“Look, I'm just a grad student. This was a gig to cover tuition,” she said, anxiously running her hands through her hair.

“Maybe so. But, uh, still, this- this...this could go on your permanent record,” I bullshitted, making her eyes widen slightly. “Unless you hand over the doctor's research to me. All of it.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I desperately tried to keep my gaze ahead of me, failing as multiple college girls brushed past me in the dorm stairwells. I smirked over my shoulder, watching them descend the stairs until I’d made it to the room I was looking for.

I banged hard twice on the door, holding my badge up to the peephole. The kid slowly opened the door, the unmistakable smell of weed rolling out of the room. "You Jeremy?"

“Look, I don't know what the RA said, but I was growing ferns.”

I chuckled as I stepped inside, “Take it easy, Phish, that's not why I'm here.”

He visibly relaxed, “Really? Oh, thank god. Okay.”

I glanced around the cluttered dorm room. “I wanna talk to you about Dr. Gregg's sleep study.”

“Yeah. Dr. Gregg just died, right?”

I nodded. “You were one of his test subjects, right?”

“Yeah,” he said as he opened the small mini fridge behind him, holding a beer out to me before he paused. “Unless you're on duty or something?”

I glanced from the beer to the open door out to the hallway before shrugging, “I guess I can make an exception.” I took a long drink from the beer before opening up the files in my hands. “Now, Dr. Gregg was testing treatments for a ‘Charcot-Wilbrand syndrome’? Which means...?”

“I can't dream,” he said simply. “I had this bike accident when I was a kid and banged my head pretty good and I haven't had a dream since. 'Til the study. You know. Sort of.”

I frowned, nodding as I rifled through the papers. “What'd the doc give you?”

“It's this yellow tea. It…it smelled awful, tasted worse.”

“What’d it do?” Jeremy shrugged, “Just passed right out. I had the most vivid, super-intense dream. Like a bad acid trip, you know?”

“Totally,” I said instinctively before coughing, getting back into character. “I mean, no.”

“That was it. I dropped out of the study right after that,” he said as he took another drink. “I didn't...like it. To tell you the truth...it kind of scared me.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ellie’s POV

By the time I made it back to Bobby’s room, Sam and Dean were sitting at Bobby’s bedside, whispering quietly to each other, their conversation immediately dying once I walked in. I ignored the way their words died on their lips as I dropped my papers onto the small table at the end of his bed. “How is he?”

“No change,” Dean said, glancing to Sam and then back to me. “What’d you find?”

“Well, considering what you told me about the doc's experiments…Bobby's wall is starting to make a hell of a lot more sense,” I said, flipping the folder open.

“How so?”

I picked up the first print, handing it to Sam. “This plant, Silene Capensis, is also known as African Dream Root. It's been used by shaman and medicine men for centuries.”

Dean looked up at me, “Let me guess. They dose up, bust out the didgeridoos, start kicking around the hackey.”

“Not quite,” I chuckled. “If you believe the legends, it's used for dream-walking. Entering another person's dreams, poking around in their heads.”

“I take it we believe the legends,” Sam said as I handed them more papers.

"When don't we? But dream-walking is just the tip of the iceberg."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, this Dream Root is some serious mojo. You take enough of it, with practice, you can become a regular Freddy Krueger,” I said, looking to Bobby. “You can control anything. You could turn bad dreams good, you could turn good dreams bad."

"And killing people in their sleep?" Dean assumed.

I shrugged, "For example."

Sam nodded, "So let's say this doc was testing this stuff on his patients, Tim Leary-style."

"Somebody gets pissed at him, decides to give him a little dream visit, he goes nighty-night,” I confirmed.

"But what about Bobby?” Dean questioned, the one piece of the puzzle I couldn’t quite place. “I mean, if the killer came after him, how come he's still alive?"

"I don't know,” I said honestly, hoping we could figure this all out before whatever got to the other victims got to him, too.

"So how do we find our homicidal sandman?" Dean asked as we left Bobby’s room, walking the halls toward the exit. I felt the anxious pressure on my chest begin to lessen the closer we got to the outside. Being in Bobby's room was fine, but the rest of the hospital smelled like antiseptic and old people.

"Could be anyone,” I said. Suddenly the case became a million times more difficult, not to mention dangerous. "Anyone who knew the doctor or had access to his dream shrooms."

"Maybe one of his test subjects or something?" Sam offered.

Dean shrugged at the theory. "Possible. But his research was pretty sketchy. I mean...I don't know how many subjects he had, or who all of them were." We rounded a corner as Sam scoffed. Dean looked at him in confusion. "What?"

"In any other case, we'd be calling Bobby and asking him for help right now,” Sam said.

At Sam’s words, Dean suddenly stopped in realization, a hand held out to stop Sam and I from going any further. I suppressed a groan, eyeing the exit just ahead of us. "You know what? You're right.”

Sam glanced at me then back to Dean, confused, "What?"

"Let's go talk to him,” Dean insisted.

I furrowed my eyebrows at the suggestion, unsure whether or not Dean was fucking with us. "Sure, but I think we might find the conversation a bit one-sided."

"Not if we're tripping on some Dream Root."

"What?"

"You heard me."

Sam raised his eyebrows, "You wanna go dream-walking inside Bobby's head?"

"Yeah. Why not? Maybe we could help."

"We have no idea what's crawling around in there."

"Well how bad could it be?"

"Bad."

"Dude, it's Bobby," Dean countered.

I thought about it, weighing our options. It was either that, or risk Bobby getting torn to shreds by this Boogeyman. Sam nodded in agreement. "Yeah, you're right. One problem though. We're fresh out of African Dream Root, so unless you know someone who can score some..."

"Shit," Dean groaned.

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, "What?"

"Bela."

"Bela? Shit,” I mumbled, shaking my head at the prospect. “You're actually suggesting we ask her a favor?"

"I'm feeling dirty just thinking about it, but yeah."

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Sam's POV

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands, my head aching from staring at my laptop screen for what felt like forever. I glanced at my watch, counting down the seconds until I called Dean and Ellie to get back to the motel where I knew they were out just avoiding doing research.

Just as I brought my eyes back up to the screen, there was a knock at the door. Without thinking much about it, I pulled it open, but it wasn’t Ellie or Dean. I groaned as Bela sauntered inside. "Hey, Sam."

"Bela, I didn't think there's a chance in hell you'd show up,” I said honestly as she came to a stop in the middle of the room, her hands stuffed in the pockets of her knee-length jacket. Her legs were bare despite the cold weather outside.

"Well, I'm full of surprises,” she said. She sounded...different. “Though, truthfully...you wanna know why I'm really here?"

She took a step toward me as I took one back, almost reluctantly. She brought her hands down to the straps of her jacket tied around her waist. I swallowed thickly, "Okay."

"Because of you,” she said as she undid the knot and let the jacket fall off her shoulders, nothing but a black, silky, lacy, slip dress beneath it.

I desperately tried to keep my eyes on hers. "Uh...what are you doing?"

"I can't stop thinking about you,” she whispered as she brought her hand up to my cheek.

"What-" my questions were instantly silenced as she leaned forward and kissed me, the kiss deepening every second before I reluctantly pulled away. "Are you sure?"

Bela smiled up at me as she kissed me again. I brought my hands up to her arms as I turned us backwards, walking back until my legs hit the end of the bed and we fell together. Bela’s lips never left mine even as I rolled her over onto her back, kissing down her jaw to her chest and then all the way down her body.

"Sam,” she moaned, gripping my hair in a tight fist. “Sam. Sam!"

"Sam! Wake up!” A harsh voice rang through the room as my eyelids snapped open. The room was sideways from where I was leaning on my arm, drool making a steady stream down my chin and onto my wrist. My smile faded as I slowly sat up, wiping the spit from my face.

"Dude, you were out. And making some serious happy noises,” Dean said from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder where Dean was sitting in the motel arm chair and Ellie was sprawled out on the couch, the two of them marking up numerous sheets of paper.

"Who were you dreaming about?" Ellie asked, smirking.

"What? No one. Nothing,” I dismissed quickly, turning away from them.

"C'mon, you can tell us,” Dean prodded. “Angelina Jolie?"

"No."

There was a beat of silence before Ellie spoke, "Brad Pitt?"

"No. No! Guys, it doesn't matter,” I dismissed, wanting to change the subject altogether.

"Whatever,” Dean said, shrugging it off. "I called Bela."

I paused, slowly turning back toward him, trying to seem nonchalant but it just came out awkwardly. "Bela? Yeah? She- what'd she...you know, say? She...gonna...help us?"

"Shockingly, no, which puts us back to square one. I've been trying to decipher the doctor's notes. Unfortunately, he has worse handwriting than you do."

"You gonna come help with this stuff?" Ellie asked, chewing on the end of her pen, not looking up.

I shifted in my seat, hesitating, my heart still hammering behind my rib cage. "Yeah, yeah. Just give me a sec."

A series of knocks came from the motel’s door, the three of us looking up at it. Dean pulled his legs down from the coffee table in front of him, peering into the peephole before rolling his eyes at us and opening the door. "Bela. As I live and breathe."

I held my breath as Bela came inside, dressed in the same black raincoat she’d had on in my dream. I immediately became even more flustered. Ellie shot her a forced smile from across the room.

"You called me. Remember?" Bela reminded Dean as he shut the door behind her.

"I remember you turning me down."

"Well, I'm just full of surprises,” she smirked.

"Hey, Bela,” I breathed out, trying not to focus too hard on my dream and getting it mixed with reality. I gave her a quick wave before averting my eyes again.

Bela furrowed her eyebrows at me as she opened her purse, pulling out a large jar and passing it to Ellie who was leaning against the small table I was sat at. "I brought you your African Dream Root. Nasty stuff, and not easy to come by."

Ellie turned it over in her hands. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"What? I can't do you a little favor every now and again?" Bela reached for the knot at the front of her jacket, undoing the belt as she slowly let the jacket slide from her shoulders. I held my breath, but instead of the small black slip before, now it was a dark blue long sleeve and pencil skirt. I let out somewhat a sigh of relief.

"No. You can't,” Dean retorted. "Come on, I wanna know what the strings are before you attach 'em."

"You said this was for Bobby Singer, right? Well, I'm doing it for him. Not you."

Dean raised his eyebrows at this, "Bobby? Why?"

Bela hesitated before speaking, "He saved my life once. In Flagstaff. I screwed up and he saved me, okay? You satisfied?"

Dean grinned, “Maybe."

Bela rolled her eyes to the ceiling but pushed his prodding away and beamed, "So when do we go on this little magical mystery tour?"

“Oh, that’s cute,” Ellie said. Dean took the jar from her hands. Bela gave her a puzzled look before looking to Dean.

“Dean—”

"Oh, you're not going anywhere. I don't trust you enough to let you in my car, much less Bobby's head,” he said as he made his way to the closet, opened the safe where the Colt was safely tucked inside and set the jar of African Dream Root beside it. He snapped the safe shut and spun the dial. “No offense."

"None taken,” Bela said, agitated. “It's 2AM. Where am I supposed to go?"

"Get a room. They got the Magic Fingers, a little Casa Erotica on pay-per-view. You'll love it." Bela was starting to visibly become angry when she realized we’d used her just like all the times she’s used us. She snatched her coat from the chair, huffing as she yanked the door open.

"Nice to see—” I started, standing just as the door slammed shut behind her. “...see you...Bela." Dean and Ellie glanced sideways at me, confused.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ellie’s POV

Dean and I sat at the end of each of the motel beds as Sam brought the glasses of the dream root mixture. It looked less than appetizing: a light brown and green liquid with white foam bubbling on top. I didn’t dare ask him what was floating around in it. I hesitantly took it from his hands, staring down into it as he sat beside me.

"Should we dim the lights and synch up Wizard of Oz to Dark Side of the Moon?" Dean grinned. Sam and I furrowed our eyebrows.

"Why?" Sam questioned.

A beat passed between them as Dean narrowed his eyes, “What did you do during college?"

Sam scoffed. Dean then began to bring the cup to his lips when Sam suddenly stopped him, "Wait, wait, wait. Can't forget this. Here."

Pulling a small manila envelope from his shirt pocket, he plucked out three very small, fine strands. He placed one piece into my open palm and then Dean’s. I examined it, wrinkling my nose, "What the hell is that?"

"Bobby's hair." I glanced at him, "We have to drink Bobby's hair?"

"That's how you control whose dream you're entering. You gotta...drink some of their uh...some of their body."

Dean looked down at his palm, "Well, guess the hair of the dog is better than other parts of the body."

I hesitantly agreed as I dropped the hair into the unknown mixture. I sighed, "Bottoms up."

We chugged the drinks as quickly as we could, trying not to process the rancidness of it. I winced, forcing myself to finish it completely. I pulled the glass away, swallowing the last of it.

A moment passed before Sam spoke up, "Feel anything?"

I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve. "No. You feel anything?"

"No,” Dean said, stumped. He looked into his empty cup. “Maybe we got some bad schwag."

The sound of rain hitting the window filled the room. I looked toward the drawn curtains. "When did it start raining?"

Dean stood from the bed, pulling the curtains apart. "When did it start raining upside down?"

Sure enough, the rain was climbing upward against the glass. Sam and I stood from the bed, turning when we realized we were no longer in the motel but a dark, crowded living room.

“Holy shit,” I whispered. “I think we did it.”

"Okay, I don't know what's weirder – the fact that we're in Bobby's head...or that he's dreaming of Better Homes and Gardens,” Dean said.

"Wait. Wait a second,” Sam said, narrowing his eyes at our surroundings. “Imagine the place without the paint job. More cluttered, dusty, books all over the place." We began to meander around the living room. Now that I was truly looking at it, it did feel familiar. The wallpaper, the couch, the pictures framed on the walls. Suddenly it hit me: “It's Bobby's house."

"Yeah," Sam chuckled. There was just one thing missing.

"Bobby?!" Dean called out, his voice reverberating off the walls.

"Bobby?" Sam called up the stairs, but nothing.

I continued walking throughout the living room when my eyes settled on the front door. "Hey, I'm gonna go look outside."

"No, no, no, stay close," Dean protested.

"I'll be fine. Just, look around in here," I protested. Dean still looked unsure. "Look, we gotta find him."

Dean still didn't seem like he loved the plan. "Don't do anything stupid."

I nodded once before pulling the back door open, stepping out onto the porch, instantly stopping in my tracks. It was daylight, when before the house was swimming in darkness. But that wasn't the weirdest part. The lawn was a bright green, trimmed closely to the sidewalk that led to the house, lined with pink, yellow and red tulips. I furrowed my eyebrows at the scene. For as long as we'd known him, Bobby's house never looked like this.

The sound of the door slamming shut behind me made me jump. I quickly turned, trying the doorknob that wouldn't budge. I pounded my closed fist against the wood. "Sam! Dean!"

I turned toward the windows when neither of them heard me. Inside, I could see Sam still investigating the living room, his back turned to me. The house was still dark inside, even though the curtains were drawn. I slapped my hand against the window. “Sam!”

When he still hadn't heard me, I huffed, descending the porch stairs. I knew I'd have to find another way back inside.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sam's POV

I pulled open the double doors that none of us had checked since we got here. I had a feeling I knew what was behind them, even though they'd since been taken out for as long as I've known Bobby. The doors led me into the kitchen, but it looked much different than I was used to. Light blue walls and pristine, sparkling white counter tops, placemats on a small, round dining room table. A damn cat clock was nailed to the wall.

"Bobby?"

As Dean and I walked deeper into the kitchen, I whipped around toward the door at the end of the hall. A quiet, murmuring voice coming from inside. I began to walk toward it when a familiar voice called us back. “Who's out there?"

Dean looked to the pantry, to me, and then back to the door. “Bobby, you in there?”

“Dean?”

“Yeah. It's me. Open up." The pantry door opened, Bobby, looking panicked, peered around the corner of the fridge.

“How in the hell did you find me?”

“We got our hands on some of that Dream Root stuff.”

Bobby's eyebrows furrowed, still looking for an unseen threat around the corner. “Dream Root? What?”

“Dr. Gregg, the experiments?” I said, trying to jog his memory.

“What the hell are you talking about?" Suddenly, the door across the hall began to shake violently as someone on the other side was banging on it. The lights above us started flickering. Bobby's eyes widened as he grabbed us, turning back toward the pantry. "Hurry.”

Dean stopped in place, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on?”

“She's coming," he said, sounding terrified.

“You do know this is a dream, don't you?” I tried to reason, but it was no use.

“What are you, crazy!?”

“It's a dream, Bobby! None of this is real!” I shouted at him over the shaking doorframe when suddenly the door flew off its hinges. The pantry door behind us slamming shut. We were cornered.

“Does that look made-up?” He asked, pointing past us. I followed his terrified gaze as a woman, dressed in all white came through the doorway. Blood soaked her dress, open and leaking stab wounds covered her chest.

“Bobby, who is that?” Dean asked.

Bobby hesitated as the woman came closer. “She's...she's my wife.”

My heart sank. I always knew Bobby had been married before, but he refused to ever talk about what'd happened to her. She drew closer. “Why Bobby? Why did you do this to me?”

“I'd rather died myself than hurt you," Bobby said, pain laced throughout his voice. Mine and Dean's eyes bounced between the two of them.

“But you did hurt me. You shoved that knife into me. Again and again. You watched me bleed. Watched me die.”

Dean grabbed Bobby's jacket in an another attempt to shake something loose, “Bobby, she's not real!”

Bobby didn't take his eyes off what seemed to be a spirit. “You were possessed, baby. You were rabid. And I didn't know what I know now. I didn't know how to save you.”

“You're lying. You wanted me dead!" She shouted. "If you'd loved me, you would've found a way!”

“I'm sorry," Bobby pleaded before she ran at us at full speed. I gripped Bobby by his arm, yanking him back into the living room and slamming the sliding doors shut before she could make it through.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ellie’s POV

I followed the path of flowers around the house that lead to the back where there was a fenced-in garden, no sign of the junkyard that has always surrounded Bobby's house, since we've known him at least. I had just ducked under a clothesline hung with white sheets when I heard quiet footsteps behind me. I whipped around, but not quick enough to react to the bat being swung right at my chest. I fell to the ground, holding my shoulder where I'd been hit. I narrowed my eyes at the man above me. "Who are you?”

“Who are you? You don't belong here.”

“You're one to talk. You're in my friend's head.”

“You got a poor choice in friends. This is self-defense. He came after me. He wanted to hurt me!"

"That may be because you're a killer."I could tell now that this guy was my age, maybe even younger.

“You should be nicer to me. In here...you're just an insect. I'm a god.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sam's POV

Dean and I threw ourselves up against the double doors. Bobby continued to look stunned as he stood helpless in the middle of the living room. The doors behind Dean and I shook as we gripped the doorframe, trying to keep her at bay. “I'm telling you, all of it. Your house, your wife, it's a nightmare!”

“I killed her," Bobby mumbled, not having even heard what Dean was trying to tell him. I looked to my left, noticing a wire dangling from a table lamp. I yanked it from the wall, pulling it free from the lamp.

“Bobby, this is your dream. And you can wake up," Dean said as I began to tied the wire around the double door's round knobs. "I mean, hell, you can do anything.”

The screaming continued on the other side of the door, the wood shaking against the pounding of her fists. I wasn't sure how much longer they'd hold.

“Just leave me alone. Let her kill me already.”

Dean had finally had enough, grabbing Bobby by the shoulders as he pulled him away from the doors. “Look at me. You gotta snap out of this now! You're not gonna die. I'm not gonna let you die! You're like a father to me." Dean was gripping the front of Bobby's jacket in his fists, pleading. His eyes were wide, searching Bobby's face. "You gotta believe me, please.”

Bobby hesitated, unsure of what to believe. “I'm dreaming?”

“Yes! Now take control of it.”

Bobby watched Dean for a moment before slowing his breathing, closing his eyes. It only took a second before the screaming and pounding stopped. I looked at the double doors. Slowly, I untied the wire and slid the doors apart. Sunshine shown in through the kitchen windows, no woman in sight.

“I don't believe it," Bobby muttered.

“Believe it," I said, turning back to him. "Now would you please wake up?"

In an instant, the three of us shot up in bed, back in the motel room.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ellie’s POV

We'd gotten the call almost immediately that Bobby was awake. Dean and I stayed behind in the hospital room as Sam went to go check on Jeremy, who Dean was able to decipher after I told them what I saw.

We were flipping through Dr. Gregg's case files when Dean finally spoke up, breaking the silence, “Hey, Bobby. That stuff with your wife...that actually happen?”

“Everybody got into hunting somehow," Bobby said. It was horrible hearing about Bobby's dream, about his wife. I realized now why he never talked about her. Part of me wished it was just a horrible nightmare and not his past catching up with him.

“I'm sorry," Dean said.

“Don't be sorry. If it weren't for you, I'd still be lost in there. Or dead. Thank you."

A beat of silence passed as him and Dean looked to each other before Sam came in through the open door. "So, stoner boy wasn't in his dorm. My guess is he's long gone by now.”

“He ain't much of a stoner," Bobby said, reading from Dr. Gregg's file on him. "His name's Jeremy Frost. Full-on genius. Hundred-and-sixty IQ. Which is sayin' something, considering his dad took a baseball bat to his head. Here's Father of the Year.” He handed Sam a printed copy of Henry Frost's driver's license. “He died before Jeremy was ten.”

“Looks like a real sweetheart," I said as Sam passed the picture to me. He reminded me a lot of the guys dad used to be friends with from the military: rugged, usually drunk.

“Injury gave him Charcot-Wilbrand," Bobby said. "He hasn't dreamt since.”

“Til he started dosing the dream drug," Dean said. “How'd he know how to dig up your worst nightmare and throw it at you?”

“Hey, he was rooting around in my skull. God knows what he saw in there.”

“How'd he get in there in the first place?" I asked. "Isn't he supposed to have some of your hair, your DNA, or something?”

Bobby nodded, “Yeah. Before I knew it was him, he offered me a beer. I drank it. Dumbest fuckin' thing.”

“Oh, I don't know," Dean chuckled nervously. "It wasn't that dumb.”

I turned to him, sensing his embarrassment, “Dean, you didn't.”

“...I was thirsty," he admitted.

Sam scoffed, “That's great. Now he can come after either one of you.”

“Well, now we just have to find him first.”

“We better work fast...and coffee up," Bobby said. "Because the one thing we cannot do is fall asleep.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

2 Days Later.

Sam and I closely watched Dean whose been on edge all day. His hands were gripping the wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. “I mean, this Jeremy guy's not a fuckin' ghost. Where the hell could he be?”

Sam glanced at me before looking back at Dean. “Dean, you sure you don't want me to drive? You seem a little...caffeinated.”

“Well, thanks for the news flash, Edison!” Dean shouted. I eyed the speedometer when Dean's phone rang. He fumbled with it as he pulled it from his pocket, frustration and caffeine making him clumsy. He snapped it open, “Tell me you got something!”

“Strip club was a bust, huh?” Bobby said on the other end.

“Yeah," I sighed, crossing it off our list. “That was our last lead.”

“What the hell, Bobby!” Dean shouted into the phone.

“Don't yell at me, boy. I'm working my ass off here!”

Dean tried to lower his tone, running a hand down his face. “Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just...I'm- I'm tired. What's Bela got?”

“What do you got, Bela?" Bobby asked. We could hear her in the background, but not enough to make out what she was saying. "She's got nothing.”

“Great! Well, I'm just gonna go blow my brains out now!” Dean slammed the phone shut and threw it to the seat between him and Sam. He closed his fist, bring it up to his mouth when suddenly, he veered the car onto a hidden road. “Alright, that's it. I'm done." He threw the car into park and cut the engine, settling into the seat.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Taking myself a long-overdue nap.”

Sam's eyes widened, “What?! Dean, Jeremy can come after you.”

“That's the idea.”

“Excuse me?”

“Come on man, we can't find him, so let him come to me!"

“On his own turf? Where he's basically a god?”

“I can handle it," Dean huffed out, his eyes already closed and his arms crossed over his chest.

“Not alone, you can't," Sam said before quickly plucking a strand of hair from Dean's head. I followed suit. I wasn't gonna leave them to clean up this mess.

“Ow! What are you doing?” He yelped, grabbing at the back of his head.

“We're coming in with you," I said.

“No, you're not.”

"Why not? At least then it'll be three against one.”

Dean hesitated, looking to Sam and I, “'Cause I don't want you digging around in my head.”

“Too bad," Sam said already beginning to make the Dream Root mixture.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I sat up first, blinking away sleep. We were still in the car. I nudged Sam and Dean who sat upright, looking around the small enclosed dirt road we fell asleep parked on. "What are we still doing here?”

“I have no idea," Dean said.

A sound came just outside the car. Sam looked to us, “There's someone out there.”

We quietly filed out of the car, listening for more signs of what we assumed would be Jeremy. Then, I heard the noise again, soft and melodic. It was...music?

Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper 'I love you'.

“Hey," a voice said soothingly. The three of us turned. A woman, bathed in golden light despite the darkness consuming us, with dark hair and a yellow dress perched upon a plaid blanket. A picnic basket and bottle of wine were next to her. Dean froze in place at the sight of her. She smiled sweetly. I recognized her. Lisa. "You gonna sit down?”

Sam and I stood back. Dean gulped. Lisa patted the blanket and picked up the bottle of wine, refiling her glass. “Come on. We only have an hour before we have to pick Ben up from baseball.”

Say nighty-night and kiss me. Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me.

“I've never had this dream before," Dean muttered, looking at us over his shoulder. Sam and I continued to watch Dean, knowing he was bluffing. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Dean," Lisa said. Dean looked longingly at her. "I love you.”

Dream a little dream of me.

Suddenly, the music cut out and the image of Lisa flickered until she was no longer in front of us.

“Where'd she go?” Dean breathed out.

We looked around the dense forest when Sam motioned toward the other side of the tree line. “Jeremy.”

Sam led the way, Dean and I following close behind. I kept my eyes trained on Sam's brown jacket, trying not to lose him as we dodged in and out of the trees. It wasn't until I'd happened to glance behind me when I realized Dean was nowhere to be found. I stopped, looking every which way, my chest quickly rising and falling. "Dean!?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean’s POV

One second, I'm trailing behind Ellie in the pursuit of Jeremy through the thick forest and the next second, I'm not in the forest at all. I slide to a stop before I run straight into the wall ahead of me, painted with green oak trees. I slowly turned around, knowing that this was a dream. Knowing that anything was possible.

I was in a long hallway, doors lining the walls on either side of me. I glanced at each one, but it wasn't until I'd reached the end when the door ahead of me creaked open on its own, seemingly inviting me in. I stepped inside, quickly realizing I was back where this all started: Bobby's motel room. A faint clicking noise came from the otherwise silent, dark room. It was a man, sitting at the desk. His back was facing me, clicking the desk lamp on...off...on...off.

“Jeremy?” I called out to him. The clicking stopped, leaving the desk light on. In the light, I could tell it wasn't Jeremy at all. The figure looked halfway over its shoulder before standing, confirming what I feared deep in my stomach.

“Hey, Dean," it said. It was wearing my clothes, had my voice, in my skin.

“Well, aren't you a handsome son of a gun.”

“We need to talk.”

I nodded as we began circling each other around the small room. “I get it. I get it. I'm my own worst nightmare, is that it? Kind of like the Superman III junkyard scene? A little mano y mano with myself?”

“Joke all you want, smart-ass," he said. It was unsettling to say the least. We stopped on opposite sides of the room. "But you can't lie to me. I know the truth. I know how dead you are inside...how worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror...and hate what you see.”

I ground my teeth, “Sorry, pal. It's not gonna work. You're not real.”

“Sure I am. I'm you.”

“I don't think so. 'Cause see, this is my siesta. Not yours. All I gotta do is snap my fingers and you go bye-bye," I said, ready to get this shit over with, knowing that the longer I stayed inside this part of my dreams, the longer Sam and Ellie would be alone to hunt down Jeremy. I snapped my fingers, expecting him to disappear. However, he only continued to stare back, solid as a rock. I snapped again and again before I realized it was no use. My hand fell to my side.

He smirked, as if he knew I'd try that. “I'm not going anywhere, and neither are you.” The door behind him slammed shut, the deadbolt locking into place. My heart rate began to pick up speed. He lifted a shotgun -- my shotgun -- that seemed to have materialized out of thin air. “Like I said...we need to talk.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ellie's POV

Simultaneously, Sam and I shot up in our seats in the Impala, yet Dean stayed asleep. Sam grabbed him at the shoulder, trying to shake him awake, “Dean. Hey. Wake up.”

Instead, it was Jeremy in the front seat. Quicker than either of us could react, Jeremy used the end of his baseball bat to smash into Sam's shoulder so hard I heard an audible pop. He groaned in agony, opening the passenger side door as he rolled from the car. I quickly grabbed Jeremy in a headlock from behind, but he was faster. He grabbed me by my shoulders, yanking me over the front bench seat. My back landed hard against the dash board, making me suck in a painful breath of air. He stood from the car, pulling me out by my arms and dropping me to the forest floor. I scrambled to my feet, rounding the car to meet Sam but the unmistakable sound of the bat slicing through the air filled my ears before it came crashing down on the middle of my back. I crumpled to the ground next to Sam, the two of us shuffling away as quickly as we could from Jeremy who loomed over us.

“Boy, you just don't know when to leave well enough alone, do you?” He said, swinging the bat in circles.

“You're a psycho," Sam spit at him as we maneuvered backward on the forest floor.

Jeremy bared his teeth. “You're wrong.”

“Yeah? Tell that to Dr. Gregg.”

He scoffed, “The doc? No, no. The doc's the one that got me hooked on this stuff and then he took it away. But I needed it, and he wouldn't let me have it.”

“So you killed him?” I asked. Sam and I continued to kick at the wet grass beneath us to put as much distance between us and him but he continued to loom over us.

“I can dream again. Do you know what that's like, not to be able to dream? You never rest, not really. It's like being awake for fifteen years.”

“And let me guess," Sam said, holding his shoulder. "That makes you go crazy?”

“I just wanna be left alone. I just wanna dream.”

“Sorry," I said. "Can't do that.”

Jeremy paused, looking between Sam and I before suddenly we were forced flat onto the ground. I lifted my head, looking down at mine and Sam's hands that were tied with ropes and secured with large stakes into the ground. Our feet were bound at the ankles. I tried pulling, but the knots only seemed to tighten, digging into my skin.

Jeremy stepped forward, looking down at the bat in his hand. No doubt the same bat that put him in this situation in the first place. “I'm getting better and better at this. Stronger and stronger all the time." I looked to Sam, praying he had an answer to get us out of here. "But you two, your brother? You're not waking up. Not this time. I'm not gonna let you.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean’s POV

I didn't take my eyes off this other version of me. There was something off about him. We were circling each other again, like predators. “I mean, you're going to Hell and you won't lift a finger to stop it. Talk about low self-esteem. Then again, I guess it's not much of a life worth saving, now is it?”

“Wake up, Dean. Come on, wake up," I muttered to myself, unsure of where this was going. I knew that it wouldn't only be me that would die if I couldn't get back into my own body, but Sam and Ellie, too.

“I mean, after all, you've got nothing outside of Ellie and Sam," he went on, stopping in front of the desk. "You are nothing. You're as mindless and obedient as an attack dog.”

“Now that's not true," I said, trying to dismiss his words but knew I couldn't. This wasn't some monster trying to get into my head. This is my head.

“No? What are the things that you want? What are the things that you dream? I mean, your car? That's dad’s. Your favorite leather jacket? Dad's. Your music? Dad's. Do you even have an original thought?" He spat. I shook my head, trying to drown his words out. "No. No, all there is is, ‘watch out for Sammy and El. Look out for your siblings, boy!’ You can still hear your dad’s voice in your head, can't you?" He brought the barrel of the shotgun up to his temple, tapping it lightly. "Clear as a bell.”

“Just shut up," I warned, feeling a burning in my chest at his words because I knew, better than anyone, that they were true.

“I mean, think about it...all he ever did was train you, boss you around." He took a step closer. "But Sam and Ellie...them he doted on. Them, he loved.”

“I mean it. I'm getting angry," I warned again, but he went on.

“Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy's blunt little instrument. Your own father didn't care whether you lived or died. Why should you!?”

I reached my boiling point, shoving him so hard against his chest that he flew across the room and smacked the wall behind him. “Son of a bitch! My father was an obsessed bastard!”

He tried to get up but I was faster, kicking him square in the chest, sending him flying back against the stone. I grabbed the shotgun, shoving it against his chest and shoulders, keeping him pinned to the wall. “All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam and Ellie, that was his shit! He's the one who couldn't protect his family!”

I swung the shotgun back, bringing it three times across his face and pinned him again. “He's the one who let mom die. Who wasn't there for Sam and Ellie! I always was! He wasn't there! I didn't deserve what he put on me. And I don't deserve to go to Hell!"

For one last time I pulled the shotgun away and pumped four rounds into his chest, blood spraying.

My chest rose and fell quickly as I stepped toward my own lifeless body, slumped against the wall of the motel. Suddenly, the figure's eyes snapped open, clicking to pools of black. I took a quick step back, my eyes wide. “You can't escape me, Dean. You're gonna die. And this? This is what you're gonna become!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ellie’s POV

"Please, stop!" I begged over and over as Jeremy continued to bring the bat down over Sam's beaten body. He groaned in pain, trying to dodge the blows but it was no use. "Stop!"

Jeremy looked to me, his chest heaving as he brought the bat down, but this time swinging it at my sides. Air escaped my lungs as the blows continued to rain down.

"Jeremy, stop!" Sam pleaded, but it was like Jeremy was in a trance, or he didn't care, or maybe both.

He finally took a step back and I could finally catch my breath. The faint taste of blood at the back of my throat. He pointed his bat down at me, just inches from my face. “You can't stop me. There's nothing I can't do in here.”

“Because of the Dream Root," I gasped out. I definitely had a few broken ribs. "Well, you're forgetting something.”

Jeremy shifted, planting his feet on the ground on either side of my hips. He squared his own as he raised the bat over his shoulder once again, working up what looked like would be a lethal blow right to my head. My blood ran cold. “What's that?”

I smiled, feeling blood coating my teeth now. “I took the Dream Root, too.”

A booming voice sounded on the other side of the forest clearing. “Jeremy! Jeremy!”

Jeremy whipped around at the sound of the man's voice, panic replacing the blood-thirsty look in his eyes. “No. No...dad?”

“You answer me when I'm talking to you, boy," Henry Frost stepped closer to his son who took two steps back for each one his father ascended upon him.

With his guard down, the ropes vanished. Sam was on his feet in an instant, using Jeremy's own bat to collide into his face. I hurried to my feet, watching as Sam swung one last time, bringing the bat down onto Jeremy's skull.

I flew upright in my seat in the car, Sam and Dean following suit. I gripped my chest to steady my racing heart.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We followed Bobby back into the motel room where Dean was just getting off the phone, turning to us, “Hey, you guys seen Bela? She's not in her room. She's not answering her phone.”

“She must've taken off or something," Bobby suggested.

“Just like that? It's a little weird," Sam said. “Yeah well, if you ask me what's weird is why she helped us in the first place," Bobby said.

I looked at him, confused, “I thought you saved her life.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“The thing in Flagstaff.”

Bobby raised his eyebrows, searching his memory. “That thing in Flagstaff was an amulet. I gave her a good deal, that's all.” Sam, Dean and I looked to each other. “You three better check your pockets.” Immediately, we patted the pockets of our coats and jeans. Bobby sighed. “Not literally.”

Suddenly, Dean widened his eyes as he turned directly toward the safe in the closet. “No, no, no, no.”

I watched in shock as he pulled the safe door open. Where once the Colt had been safely tucked inside, it was now gone. I clenched my jaw. “The Colt. Bela stole the Colt.”

“Damn it, kids!” Bobby shouted, shaking his head.

“Pack your shit," Dean said, grabbing the keys for the car. “We're gonna go hunt the bitch down.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dean's POV

I glanced sideways at Sam as we stood at the trunk of Baby, zipping our duffles. “Hey, Sam. I was wondering. When you were in my head, what did you see?”

Sam shook his head, “Just Jeremy. He kept us separated from you. Easier to beat our brains out that way, I guess. What about you? You never said.”

I bit my tongue, thankful that was all he'd seen. “Nothing. I was looking for you two the whole time.”

I slammed the trunk shut, the two of us rounding the car and slid into the front seat. I turned the engine over, glancing in the rearview mirror to where Ellie was coming out of the motel, helping Bobby carry his things to his truck. My throat constricted. Although I'd hardly slept the last three days, I laid awake all last night, unable to get the image of me with black eyes out of my head. “Sam.”

“Yeah?”

I tossed around everything in my head that I wanted to say, “I've been doing some thinking, and...well, the thing is..." I paused, swallowing past the lump in my throat. "I don't wanna die. I don't wanna go to Hell.”

Sam was quiet for a minute before he nodded. I couldn't meet his gaze. “Alright. Yeah. We'll find a way to save you.”

I tried my best at a half-hearted smile but it came out as more of a grimace. I knew the chances were slim to none. “Okay, good.”

“You can't escape me, Dean.” The words rolled through my head again. I gripped the wheel. “You're gonna die.” I cranked the music louder in an attempt to drown out my own voice but it was no use. “And this? This is what you're gonna become!”

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*DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SUPERNATURAL OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS.

[hahahahahangst]

The Cake

Tags (as per my masterlist): ❓👨🏻‍👨🏻‍👧🏻💖

Requested by: @themerakisstuff (happy birthday!!!!💕💖 )

Summary: it's your birthday! Sam and Dean seem to have forgot about it... but have they really?

AN: omg my first request AND my first reader insert ❗❗ i am beyond excited!

Sam and Dean have been gone the entire day. They left you in a random motel room. On your fucking birthday. Those two are un-fucking-believable. 

Leaving you alone on your birthday has to be one of the worst things they have done recently. 

You cross your legs on your bed and turn on the TV. Surely, there must be something to watch, right? 

The light of the television lights up your skin in the dark as the sound of the telenovela makes you roll your eyes - you never understood how Dean can enjoy this shit.

You change the channel. Doctor Sexy. Really? Another one of Dean’s favorites. 

Just when he has forgotten about your birthday. The universe really is trying to mess with you. You change the channel once more to land on a documentary. 

Know what? It’s good enough. Documentary on bees? On your birthday? Why would it be the pinnacle of sadness? Speaking about bees… Maybe Cas is available to spend some time together. 

Maybe, since it’s your birthday, you can try and convince him to bring you some cake from that bakery in Fort Wayne. You close your eyes and think of the cake fondly, your stomach growling. 

God, you are hungry. You haven’t eaten anything, thinking Sam and Dean were going to be back before evening, that they were just late, that they didn’t forget your birthday. 

Stupid of you to think that. 

You check the time on your phone. 3 AM. 

“Cas?” You say, closing your eyes and feeling kind of stupid for talking to yourself like that. “Are you free? It’s kind of my birthday, and nobody is around.” You open one eye, expecting to hear Cas’ wings flutter any moment. But you don’t. The bee documentary keeps going in the background.

So, just to recap: your brothers seem to have forgotten about you, Cas isn’t answering your prayers and the most compelling thing on TV is a documentary on bees.

That’s the premise for a very trashy, filled-with-drama teenage movie. 

You lean against the headboard of the motel bed and close your eyes. At this point, you might as well sleep.

“I told you we would never be back here in time!” Sam’s voice woke you up. “Fort Wayne isn’t exactly a short way from here.” You remain in bed, refusing to move. You don’t feel at all rested, just a slight pain in your neck from sleeping against the headboard. “You know how y/n is about her birthday!” Whispers Sam. “She surely thinks we’ve forgotten.”

You hear the sound of the door closing lightly and plastic bags being placed on the table. “We haven’t!” Complains Dean. “It was just… an organizational delay.” 

Sam sighs. “I’m not saying it wasn’t worth it, just… maybe next year we can take a case closer to Fort Wayne if you really want to go get that cake for her birthday.” 

You open one eye. “Can you guys shut the fuck up?” You mutter, mouth still dry and brain still clouded by sleep. You’re hearing their words, but you’re not really registering anything they're saying. “I’m trying to sleep.” You feel a hand on your shoulder and open both your eyes. 

“Happy birthday y/n!” Sam smiles widely. All of a sudden, you feel awake. You drag your hand over your eyes, surprised. “We brought you something.” That’s when you finally see the cake. It’s that cake. The cake from Fort Wayne you love so much. You snap into a sitting position Dean grins. 

“Always that look of surprise.” He says. “What? You thought we forgot about your birthday?”

You feel your cheeks fill with embarrassment. “Kind of.” You whisper. “You were gone all day.” 

“We took the day off to get you your favorite cake.” Dean smiles, satisfied. “I can’t believe you thought we forgot about your birthday!” He repeated. You smile so hard you almost hurt yourself and stand up from the bed. “Sam also brought you something.” 

You turn towards Sam, excited. He hands you a box a little bigger than your hand, wrapped in christmas-themes wrapping paper. “Sorry about the wrapping.” Says Sam, embarrassed. “They- they were out of birthday wrap and I had to improvise.” You smile at him and gently open the gift. You quickly realize it’s several DVDs of your favorite tv show. You force yourself not to start jumping in excitement. “Sam, this… this is amazing!” You look up at your brother and hug him. “Thanks.” You feel Sam’s arms around you as the comfort and familiarity of being close to your brother goes through you, flushing all anxieties and worries out of you. 

“Of course, kid. Anything.” Says Sam. How could you ever think they had forgotten about your birthday?!

“Alright, my turn now.” Says Dean, opening his bag. “I got two things for you.” He announces. You let go of Sam to turn towards him. “First of all, I made you your own copy of Baby’s keys.” He throws a keychain at you. You stare at it, completely overwhelmed by the fact Dean is giving you free access to his precious car. “And then, since you’re now technically an adult, I purchased this for you.” He hands you a small envelope. You open it and almost choke. 

Gift card valid for the purchase of 1 (one) DVD in our adult section

“I didn’t know what you liked, so…” Dean trails off. You look at the three objects you have in your hands and smile. A stack of DVDs, the keys to your brother’s car and a porn gift card. 

Well, maybe the gift card isn’t as emotionally valuable as the other two things, but it’s still… a gift? A well thought one for that matter. It’s not like he gave you his used magazines. You also hug Dean, who seems not to be expecting it, taking a couple steps back. “Thanks.” 

“Kid, I will never forget your birthday.” He says before kissing your hair. “Happy birthday, y/n.”

A/N: If you enjoy this or any sisfic content, I am writing a looong sisfic! :D Feel free to check it out here

[inlovewhithafairytale]

POV: Dating Dean Winchester....

[lady-bizarre]

DUDE

[annaruby]

hm. thinking.

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Y/N: Can I have more some candy, De?

Dean: What did Sam say?

Y/N: He said no

Dean: Then why would I say yes?

Y/N: Cause he’s not the boss of you

Dean: *internally* It’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a-

[sammyluvr]

✶ . ၄၃ . easy, maybe — sam and dean w.

cw : gn!winchester!reader, hurt/comfort, reader’s the middle sibling, peacekeeper/selfless(?) reader, blood, injury & pain, stitches, nicknames (bud), poorly edited, no y/n, 3K words. requested !

summary : you try to hide a bad injury after a hunt. sam and dean patch you up, and spend the night worrying until you wake.

it’s not as hard being easy as some people might think. maybe that’s because it’s all you know how to be. the easy one, the quiet one, the peacekeeper, the blend into the background and don’t worry about me one. and it’s not that you’re weak-willed or unopinionated; there are times when you put your foot down, times when you argue, times when you’re petty or annoying or grumpy because you’re legitimately upset or possibly just a little too hungry.

one must note that easy does not mean perfect. it just means that you let sam ride shotgun despite being two years older. it means you take the couch most nights, you’re often impressively polite, and you patch up your own injuries in the bathroom before helping your brothers out. it means you let annoying little things slide, you pick up food when the other two are too tired to drive, you take care of the most tedious or boring tasks, and you tend not to get into any trouble with law enforcement or regular citizens. life is just easier for you all when sam and dean don’t have to worry about you too much.

naturally, you’ve developed quite a pain tolerance over the years of hunting and killing and nearly being killed; all three of you have. but you have become concerningly and particularly excellent at hiding wounds. it’s mostly about the breathing, you’ve decided. if you can hide the blood, move without any apparent stiffness, and keep your breathing even and normal, then sam and dean tend not to notice. they’ve got enough to worry about, you think.

but, unfortunately, there's certain things you can't quite hide, no matter how good of a little actor you can be. there's just far too much blood, more than you think you've ever bled from any one wound. it's not arterial, that much you know; you're familiar enough with basic anatomy to understand that a knife to your lower left side shouldn't be piercing any main veins or arteries. but it is soaking through your jacket and you're getting lightheaded. and you're almost to the impala, you remind yourself. you can make it that far, you're sure. if you just keep breathing, watching dean's trudging form as the distance between the two of you grows while your sluggish footsteps slow... if you just keep breathing, you're sure you can make it.

the leaves under your feet hush your footsteps, soft and soaked from this morning’s rain. dean doesn't question the fact that he can't hear you right behind him; you're quiet nearly all the time. the growing fog in your head makes you stumble. you slip, deprived of the bearings or stability you'd need to right yourself. the softened soil welcomes the crumple of your body, but your cheek scrapes on a ragged twig embedded in the ground. the dampness of the earth swallows any loudness to your fall, the little strangled noise that leaves your lips in surprise and hot white pain. the twig that draws a line of blood across your cheek doesn't even snap.

but you can't fall in complete silence; there's a rustle and a dull thud and dean's ears are attuned to listen for you and sam. he hears your grunt of pain, regardless of how quiet the sound is. he's immediately on high alert, spinning around and holding his gun at the ready. for split second, he thinks you've disappeared completely. he didn't know you'd been falling behind, twilight is ending, and your brown jacket melts into the color of the ground. but he's got keen eyes and spots you quickly.

"shit," he curses under his breath, all but sprinting back to you, long legs clearing logs and rocks without any fuss. before he's dropped to his knees by your side, he's already asking, "hey, hey, hey, talk to me, bud. what happened?"

you've managed to twist over onto your back by the time he gets there, though not without much effort. there's dirt clinging to the side of your face and wet leaves stuck to your clothes. it's become too dark for dean to see the spread of blood on your jacket.

"just a... just a cut," you breathe out. your voice doesn't sound quite right and it sets off blaring alarms in dean's head.

"where?" he demands, not harshly. his flashlight clicks on and you squint at the sudden brightness. he doesn't need you to answer. his free hand doesn't hesitate to move your bloodied jacket out of the way, and he sucks in a sharp breath before he even sees the full extent of the wound. his fingers gather up your soaked through shirt and gently peel the fabric away from your skin. "jesus, what the hell? when did this happen? just a cut?" he asks, bewildered and beyond concerned.

"b-before," you answer unhelpfully. "it's fine. help me up." you don't feel fine at all. your head pounds and your limbs are heavy and your voice is tight with pain.

dean scoffs, pulling off his jacket with an almost panicked urgency. "you were stabbed, are you crazy?" he accuses, sounding much more worried than actually angry. he messily folds up his jacket, not hesitating to push it against your wound, not so gentle in an effort to slow the bleeding. you grunt and he frowns deeper.

"more like a… a slash… less- less stabby. 's not that bad," you mumble, completely unconvincing.

dean's jaw clenches like he disagreed. "sammy'll fix you up," is all he says. "c'mon, let's get you up. you'll be just fine." dean knows that you prefer patching yourself up. he knows that you don't like letting them see you injured. but this is bad, he thinks, and his blood boils and his heart lurches at the thought that you tried to hide it.

sam, stuck in the motel with his healing broken arm, doesn’t expect much but a “we’re on the way back” sort of phone call from dean when he answers the ringing tone. dean himself is barely paying any attention to the phone. he should be paying attention to the road, but his eyes flick over to you often, and linger for too long. the first thing that sam hears over the phone is the muffled honk of a car horn.

then comes a quiet, “shit. i’m sorry, bud. you’re alright,” from dean. he doesn’t hear the little sound of pain you made when dean had to swerve the car.

“dean?” sam says, voice plainly worried. dean sounds off. “what’s going on?”

“sammy,” dean breathes, uncharacteristically afraid, “they’re bleeding bad. need you to be ready to stitch ‘em up when we get there. five minutes.”

“where? how bad?” sam asks in a rush, already standing and searching for a medical kit. there’s one on the coffee table.

“lower left side,” dean answers, voice a bit more sure when he can actually give a solid, factual answer. then it falters. “just– bad. real bad. they’re barely awake.”

“dammit,” sam mutters. he wants to ask what happened, but dean sounds like he’s driving recklessly through the panic of your injury. he doesn’t want to add anything else for him to think about. “you sure you shouldn’t be headed to the hospital?”

dean shakes his head, then glances at you and your heavy lidded eyes. “nearest one’s too far. you’re closer.”

“okay. alright. just– just drive safe and keep them talking,” sam says at the risk of angering dean in his precarious mental state. asking him to drive safe is a bit silly, and he already knows to keep you talking. 

but dean doesn’t retort, he just spares you another glance. “keep those eyes open for me,” he urges, leaving it up to sam to hang up the phone. he only does so in order to focus on gathering the right supplies for you. and when the impala pulls up into the parking space right in front of tonight’s motel room, sam’s waiting outside by the pale yellow door with a janky metal ‘17’ on the front. he’s at the passenger’s side before dean’s even turned the car off.

you’re leaning against the car door, so he’s precise and careful when he opens it, reaching in with one hand first and cupping the side of your neck to keep you steady while he slips in closer to you. 

“hey,” he says gently, hiding his fear. he’s not sure he can deal with all this shit without you. you’ve always been such a steadying presence. dean’s jacket that you keep clutched to your wound with shaky hands is all bloodied, and the only thing sam knows is that dean said it’s real bad.

dean’s there, opening the door the rest of the way so that sam can bend down and pull you into his arms. first goes your head to his chest, then his arms wrapping around your shoulders and tucking under your knees.

“there we go,” sam murmurs, wincing softly when the movement pulls a groan of pain from your lips. “can you talk to me?” he’s swift and gentle in his movements, getting you through the door and to the bed with the least amount of discomfort for you that he can.

“it’s okay, sammy,” you mumble in response to his request. of course that’s what you’d say. dean frowns, barely able to hear your words despite how close behind sam he hovers.

“yeah,” sam agrees, laying you out on the bed, pulling the ruined jacket away from your wound and gently moving your own clothing out of the way. it’s not a pretty sight, but the bleeding’s slowed enough for him to see that maybe it’s not as bad as they thought. stitches should do the trick, you’re just all messed up from the blood loss. “it is okay,” he confirms, “you’ll be okay.” 

as he soaks a clean rag with alcohol, sam wonders when the last time he’s stitched you up was. it must’ve been a while ago. he even can’t easily think of the last time he helped you deal with any injury. right now, it’s his job to stay calm and patch you up, but the way you said it’s okay, sammy, made him want to act a bit like the baby of the family. he wants to hug you. it doesn’t make him feel small, though, just extra responsible for making sure you’ll be alright. you’re always taking care of him and dean, even if it’s just in the smaller ways, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t fix this for you.

dean’s hands are far more tender than usual as he holds yours. sam cleans your wound, and you don’t react much. it worries them both, but sam assures that it’s not as bad as it seemed before.

the cast over sam’s wrist and forearm doesn’t make giving you stitches all that easy, but he manages. his big hands are somehow always much nimbler than dean’s, the stitches he produces less crude. but no matter how used to the feeling of a few stitches you are, once he gets to the sixth, you’re not sure you can stay awake any longer. you hate the feeling of the needle and thread going through your skin.

you give dean’s hand a weak squeeze. “’m gonna pass out,” you slur in warning. his eyes widen in worry. sam tries to stay focused, but his frown deepens. he’d much rather you didn’t, but he thinks you’ll be alright.

“hey, hey, hey, no. stay with us,” dean urges, brushing his fingers over your forehead. “you’re fine now, just stay awake, bud. look at me.” you meet his gaze with drooping eyelids and a weak frown. you feel bad for making him worry like this. 

“’m sorry,” you mumble, “so tired.” you close your eyes against his wishes, and your hand goes limp in his. 

“dammit,” sam whispers, noticing the way your muscles all go slack. dean’s not so quiet when he curses, standing up angrily. as sam finishes the stitches, dean paces, hands in fists.

“it’s my damn fault, sammy,” he growls. if sam looked up, the tears in dean’s otherwise angry eyes would betray his blatant concern for you. “i wasn’t paying attention.” sam worries now that dean’ll start throwing things. he doesn’t deal well with his little siblings getting hurt.

“they’re okay. seriously,” sam insists. really though, he’s worried out of his mind. freaking out won’t help him give you effective stitches, so he just focuses on the silent promise he’s made to take care of you. “they’ll heal. the stitches will be enough,” he says, instead of asking what happened to avoid upsetting dean further. dean returns to your side just as sam finishes the last stitch. he dresses the wound with a bit of help from dean, but mostly, the oldest just combs through loose strands of your hair, picking out dried leaves and twigs. dean cleans the little cut on your face too, wiping away the dirt from when you fell.

he holds you gently upright as sam trades your bloodstained jacket and top for a simple long sleeve crewneck shirt to keep you comfortable and warm as you rest. he monitors your pulse and constantly checks your breathing, and his nervous behavior doesn’t go unnoticed by dean. but your heartbeat remains steady and the soft sound of your breathing is the only thing that can be heard at times. it’s comforting to them both, taking turns by your side, though they’re most certainly overly concerned now that your body is set to start mending.

you sleep a long while, long enough that dean starts pacing again when he tires of sitting on the edge of the other bed with his head in his hands. sam sits in a chair by your side. he dozes lightly for a bit, until the sun rises and brightens the room through half opened curtains. dean’s asleep on the couch when sam comes back around, despite the completely free bed. when he wakes, dean makes coffee for him and sam, brooding the whole while. he still looks like he’s holding back the urge to throw a rickety motel chair into the wall, but he’s a bit more blatantly anxious than angry by now. he holds your hand for a little while before you wake up.

you start to stir at 9:37 in the morning, which means you’ve been sleeping for almost ten hours. sam had checked the time when you passed out, in the midst of all his worry as he stitched you up. but no one catches the time. you, of course, are not checking the time. you’re barely awake. dean doesn’t think to check the time, he’s much more concerned about the light rustle of the bed sheets that he hears coming from your direction. and sam is drying his hands in the bathroom. he probably wouldn’t care to check the time either even if he were standing right by the clock. he hears dean say your name through the thin bathroom door, quiet and nervous. the hand towel slips off the rack in his rush to get to you.

dean’s sitting by your side, both of his hands wrapping around yours. “hey,” he murmurs, soft and glad to see your eyelids fluttering. you see the water stained ceiling of the motel room and feel the end of the bed dipping by your feet, then a big, soft hand on your shin. that’s sam. dean’s the one holding your hand.

you try to say hey back, but it comes out as a hoarse groan. your throat is very dry. so you just squeeze dean’s hand back as best as you can. one of his hands leaves yours to rest on your tired head. you look over and offer him a little smile. he feels a rush of affection as you meet his gaze like that, and a little bit of guilt for always letting you be the best of them. the quietest and the easiest. he doesn’t know what to do with those feelings, so he asks a sweet, almost teary looking sam to go grab you some water. he does so without a qualm, tries to help you take a sip, and relents with a subtle pout when you refuse the help. you’re insistent about holding that cup for yourself.

“let me help you,” he murmurs, voice all soft. he sounds extra young right now, as his hands try to hold the cup and your head up for you. you grab the cup, shaking your head despite being plagued by a pounding ache at your temples.

“mm-mm,” you hum a no, as if it bothers you that he’s trying to use his hand in a cast to help. you’re truly just that stubborn that it makes you strong enough to hold the cup with your own shaky hands. sam’s hand hovers nearby anyway. when you’ve taken a good drink, and the water starts to slosh a bit because you’re having a hard time holding it steady, dean takes it from you and sets it on the bedside table. 

“you gave us a good little scare there,” he murmurs, voice gentler than usual. he doesn’t even pretend to sound annoyed. sam thinks his demeanor is a bit funny now, considering how much of a mess dean was last night and before you woke. but he easily lets it slide for right now. without a doubt, you’re his main concern.

“sorry,” you mumble, still sort of smiling.

“don’t,” sam scolds softly. “don’t be sorry.” it seems to him like you’re always willing to take the fall, fix the problem, ease the tension. right now, he’d rather you just let him and dean take care of everything for you. you look like you want to protest, keep apologizing for making them worry, but he grabs your free hand as a means to stop you. dean gives your hand a little squeeze to punctuate the same sentiment. 

you have nothing to be sorry for. and they are very grateful for you. losing you scares them more than anything, and for a moment, they will both be a bit vulnerable and ask for you to do the same by holding your hands tight for just a little while.

“okay,” you murmur. you won’t be sorry. i love you, too, you’re saying.

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Too Much (Little Sister Version)

Dean Winchester & little sister!reader

Requested by @redbird-tf

Synopsis: you have nightmares of dying like Mary, and you start to get really clingy with Dean.

It started out in a subtle way. Your first nightmare had been vague, and though it had jarred you, it wasn’t enough to curb your day-to-day activities…much.

“I’m going for a supply run.” Dean’s words had you looking up from the homework you’d been working on. “We’re out of beer…and food.”

“I’ll come.” You were on your feet before the words even left your mouth.

“It’s just a quick run,” Dean argued. “Don’t you have homework?”

“It can wait,” you insisted, already on your way to the Impala. “Let’s go!”

Of course it would be Dean—it had always been Dean. Sure, he had his anger issues and his bad moments. He drank too much and he isolated himself when he was upset. But he always came back; when Sam was at Stanford, when dad disappeared, it was always you and Dean.

So when you started having nightmares about burning on the ceiling, Dean was who you turned to.

Scary things shouldn’t phase you anymore, not after all you’d seen. But this was different. Your whole life you’d heard “what happened to mom.” Never any specifics—it was always, “the demon killed mom,” or “what the demon did to Mary.” Nobody ever gave you any details; they always said you didn’t need to know.

So when you snuck into Dean’s room in the bunker and stole dad’s journal, you were in for a surprise.

The pages you’d read had been stuck together—it didn’t look like anyone had read them—and it took you a moment to peel them apart.

I went to visit a shrink today—I thought he might be a vampire. I went in undercover, booked myself an appointment. I figured out pretty quickly that he wasn’t a monster, but I didn’t leave. It sounds stupid, but I actually talked to him. Told him about Mary. Well, as much as I could tell, which is more than I’ve told anyone. Point is, he told me to write down what happened to her. Every detail I could remember. I don’t like thinking about her…but maybe he was right. Little Sammy asked about Mary just the other day, and I yelled at him. I still feel bad…it’s not his fault, he’s just a kid. Maybe this is the only way I’ll be able to talk about her, but maybe that’ll be enough to keep me from going off on the kids. So here goes…

And John had laid out every gory detail of that night, and you’d read the whole thing. You’d always thought it would be better knowing; that it would somehow bring you some extra closure to know how your mother’s final moments went. You were wrong.

And so came the nightmares. The first one was fuzzy and indistinct; a fire, the sound of screaming. But it was enough to have you going with Dean whenever he left the bunker.

The second one was more vivid. It was also when you realized that it wasn’t your mother you were dreaming about—it was you.

It was so real—you felt the demon’s powers slashing open your stomach, you felt your body lifting off the floor…

But the worst part was the heat. It stung your eyes and sizzled against your blood and seared your skin. You tried to scream, but the smoke choked you and stopped your voice. You struggled to inhale, coughing on the smoke and crying at the pain that lit up every nerve ending.

The bright light of the fire left first, then slowly afterwards the pain. But you were still choking and gasping for breath when you sat up in your bed.

“Dean,” you whimpered, the lone word echoing through your empty room. You weren’t quite used to the bunker yet—you were so used to the motels, where your brothers were right next to you at all times. Most of the time it was annoying, but right now…

You threw your covers off you, finally getting a hold of your runaway breathing as you padded barefoot towards your door. You couldn’t stay in this room—it was this room that you’d dreamt of, this ceiling that you’d burned on.

You flung your door open and started down the hall, but you only got halfway to Dean’s room before you stopped. You couldn’t go to him like this, a tear-streaked mess in the middle of the night; he would know something was wrong, and then you’d have to talk about it.

You couldn’t talk about it.

A bang from the kitchen stole your attention and your breath, your mind wandering towards images of a yellow-eyed intruder. You tip-toed to the kitchen, peaking around the corner and breathing easily when you saw Dean rummaging in the fridge for a beer.

You slipped into the kitchen, heading straight for Dean.

“You’re up early,” he greeted, stiffening in surprise when you wrapped your arms around him. “Hey, something wrong?”

“No,” you mumbled, your voice muffled by his shirt. “Good morning,” you added lamely as you pulled away, as if the greeting would explain away the hug.

“Yeah, mornin.” Dean shrugged, choosing to ignore your strange behavior. “Couldn’t sleep? It’s only 5.”

It was later than you’d thought.

“Not really,” you said. “Can we make breakfast?” You weren’t hungry, but you’d take any excuse to keep Dean close.

“Only if you get the bacon,” Dean said with a grin.

“I think we’re out,” you answered.

“Unacceptable,” Dean decided. “You start on the pancakes, I’ll make a run.”

“Wait! Um…” you wracked your brain for an excuse. “Um, the pancakes can wait, I’ll go with you.”

Dean squinted ever so slightly as he stared you down—that was twice in a week that you wanted to go with him to the store without a good reason.

“You sure you’re ok?” He asked.

“Yeah, just…I want some fresh air.”

“Alright.” You both knew he didn’t believe you, but neither of you brought it up again.

You felt pathetic as you trailed behind Dean, but the idea of sitting around the empty bunker alone until he got back or Sam woke up…

You just couldn’t do it. You couldn’t feel safe anymore, not even in your own home, without Dean around.

You sat just a little closer to Dean than you normally would once you got into the Impala, sitting towards the middle of the seat even though the right side was empty. You felt Dean watching you from the corner of his eye, but to your relief he didn’t say anything.

…

“Ok, so how many pounds do we want?” You held a brand of bacon in each hand, eyeing them both. When Dean didn’t respond to your question, you turned around to find the cart there, but no Dean. “Dean?” You glanced up and down the aisle, but he wasn’t in sight. You threw both bacon packages into the cart and ran down the aisle, going down the row and looking frantically down every aisle you passed. Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing.

You rubbed a hand against your chest when your next breath wouldn’t go through your tightened wind pipe. You tried to take deep breaths, but each one was less satisfying than the last. Once you reached the last aisle with still no Dean, you turned around and started back the way you came, hoping that he was down an aisle on the other side of the store.

“Dean? Dean!” You were calling his name, but you could barely even hear your winded and squeaky voice in the vast emptiness of the store, so you knew there was no way Dean could.

You passed the aisle with your cart and kept going, looking down the first, then the second…

“Dean!” You rushed forward, flinging yourself into Dean’s surprised embrace.

“Hey, what happened?” Dean was stiff and alert, whipping his head around to see what had spooked you.

“I couldn’t find you,” you whimpered, tightening your arms around Dean’s midsection. “I-I didn’t know where you went. Don’t do that to me!”

“Ok, ok hey I’m sorry,” Dean soothed, pulling away and kneeling down, brushing your hair out of your face so he could see you. “C’mon, what’s going on with you? What’s got you so spooked?”

You didn’t answer—you just launched yourself forwards and wrapped your arms around Dean’s neck, burrowing your head against his shoulder.

“Don’t leave me,” you pleaded.

“Ok, ok.” Dean held you closely, rubbing your back. “Ok I’m right here kiddo. Let’s get out of here, ok? Let’s go home.”

…

You held Dean’s hand in vice grip on the way out to the car, but he didn’t comment on it. He waited until you were safely bundled into the Impala to speak again.

“Kid, you need to tell me what’s going on here.”

“I’m fine,” you mumbled. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Dean glanced at you, but he didn’t speak again.

…

You were feeling lucky for most of the day—Sam and Dean spent the morning going through books in the library, so you were able to do your homework right next to Dean without warranting worry or attention.

“Check this out.” Sam’s words to Dean had you looking up curiously while Sam turned his computer around. “Looks like a case in town.”

Your heart dropped to your toes—you were too young to hunt, so a hunt in town meant that you sat in the bunker while the boys were out.

They spent the next twenty minutes talking about the case before they got ready to head out. Dean was throwing guns in a bag in his room when you went to find him.

“We’ll be back tonight,” Dean promised. “But if we find the thing that’s killing these people, it might not be until late, so don’t wait up ok?”

“Can’t I come?” Your tug on Dean’s sleeve stopped his movements.

“You know you can’t,” he said. “What’s going on with you? And don’t say nothing, because I know something’s wrong.”

“I just don’t want you to go,” you said. “Please De? Please don’t leave me here alone.”

“You’re not gonna tell me what’s going on?” Dean asked.

You shook your head.

“Then I have no choice.” Dean sighed. “People are dying, and you can’t come. I have to go.” Dean zipped up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “We’ll be back before tomorrow.”

“Dean—“ you reached out for your big brother, but in one stride he was out of your reach, then to the door, then he was gone.

…

You were trying to read the same page over and over, but the words were swimming around the page, blurred by the tears in your eyes and the shaking in your hands that had the pages fluttering. You looked up for the millionth time, a deep pit in your stomach convincing you each time that the yellow eyes demon would be standing in your doorway, waiting to kill you.

You dropped the book on your desk with a thud, finally giving up on homework—you wouldn’t get anything done until Dean was home, you just couldn’t focus.

You picked up your headphones and slipped them over your head, but you found that not being able to hear your surroundings made your anxiety even worse, and the soothing notes of your favorite song did nothing to help for once. You tried turning on the tv, but you found that you couldn’t look away from the door for more than a few seconds before you started to get scared again.

Finally you couldn’t take it anymore—you closed your room door, your bathroom, and even your closet; open doors just had your imagination running away with images of yellow eyes coming to kill you.

You burrowed yourself under the covers and tried to force yourself to sleep. Hour after hour you convinced yourself that you’d just never be able to sleep, but you didn’t have anything else to do but keep trying, so you didn’t move.

You were still laying there when the door opened.

“Hey sweetheart,” Dean greeted. You smiled at him, and he smiled back for a second before the smile faded. “Me and Sammy have another case—we’re gonna be gone a while, ok?”

“No, wait!” You tried to get up to stop Dean, but you couldn’t move. “Dean, don’t go! Dean don’t leave!”

He was already out the door, and in his place stood Azazel, pale yellow eyes glowing in the darkness.

“Dean!” You screamed, but it was too late; your pajamas were already soaked in blood coming from a painful gash across your stomach. You whimpered, finally able to move as you wrapped your arms around the wound as if you could protect yourself. You couldn’t.

You were sobbing as your body lifted off the ground, your stomach lurching as you went from wall to ceiling. There was no warning spark, or small flame—you were just suddenly and completely engulfed in flames, your hair burning and your skin scorched. You were still screaming when Dean came running back into the room.

“Dean,” you whimpered. “Dean no!”

Yellow eyes had a knife in his hand, and he turned it on your big brother in an instant. As the fire burned around you, you watched as Dean got stabbed again and again and again…

You woke up screaming. The fire was gone, and so was the pain, but you couldn’t even tell. Your eyes couldn’t take in a single detail of the room—they were blurry and unfocused from sleep. Your brain couldn’t decipher what parts of your dream were real and what weren’t. You sobbed out short and shaky breaths, and your cries were just starting to fade into whimpers when you heard it; the loud thunk of the bunker door closing.

Your fears and your crying returned full force, and you were gasping for breath as you felt around for any kind of weapon.

He’s coming he’s coming he’s coming he’s coming…

It was like all you could see was Azazel as you heard footsteps echoing down the hallway. You wanted to do what Dean always did—push his fear down, throw away his emotions, and just fight—but you couldn’t. You couldn’t catch your breath, you couldn’t stop sobbing, and you couldn’t find your gun.

When your door handle started to turn, you thought you were going to pass out. Your already-unsatisfying breath caught in your throat, and with the lack of breath came black spots at the edges of your vision.

You forced a single deep breath in and out—you couldn’t be unconscious when the demon came to kill you, you couldn’t be that helpless. You had to fight, even though you would lose.

The door swung open, and you were still gasping for breath and grappling for any kind of weapon when—

When Dean walked in.

“Dean!” You were off the bed and in your brother’s arms before he had a chance to speak.

“Hey, hey what’s going on?” Dean’s arms tightened around you when he heard you sobbing and felt you shaking. “Baby what happened?”

“Don’t leave me,” you begged between sobs. “Don’t leave me De, don’t leave me.”

“Ok, ok I’m not going anywhere,” Dean promised. “N/N I’m right here.”

“What’s going on?” Sam walked into the room, staring at his siblings with concern.

“I…I think we’re ok here,” Dean decided, carrying you to your bed. “You should go bandage that cut, I’ve got her.” When Sam hesitated, Dean assured him, “I’ve got her Sam.”

Sam finally left, and Dean climbed up on your bed, settling you into his lap when you wouldn’t let your vice grip around his neck go.

“I need you to talk to me,” Dean pleaded. “I need to know what’s going on, what this is.”

“There was fire,” you whimpered, your tears soaking Dean’s shirt. “There was fire, and it burned everywhere, and I was bleeding and I was on the ceiling, and-and yellow eyes stabbed you, and—“

“Whoa, whoa, slow down.” Dean started to rock you back and forth subconsciously. “Hey, how do you know about all that stuff.”

“I’m sorry.” You were sobbing again. “I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I read his journal and he wrote down everything and I thought it would help but…but now I can’t stop dreaming about it. I’m so—I’m so scared, De. All the time.”

“Shh, shh you’re ok,” Dean soothed, his hand cradling the back of your head. “I’ve got you sweetheart, I’m right here. Listen,” Dean tried to pull away so he could look at you, but you just tightened your grip. “Ok. I used to have nightmares about mom, too. All the time. I still get them sometimes.”

“You do?” You sniffled. “What do you do about them?”

“Well now it’s easier, because we killed yellow eyes. He’s gone, N/N. Nobody’s ever gonna die like mom did again, especially not you. You know that, right?”

“The dreams feel so real,” you answered.

“I know, I know they do. But they’re not. And I’m gonna help you through this, but kiddo, I can’t be around all the time, you know that. I’ve got a job to do.”

“O—ok,” you sniffled. “I can do better.”

“But I’m still gonna be here when you need me. I promise.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“I need you right now.”

Dean’s arms squeezed impossibly tighter around you.

“Then I’m here for you.”

Taglist:

@nyotamalfoy @mrvlxgrl @chocorade @aestheticdaisies @inlovewhithafairytale @that-wannabe-vangoghgurl @casmustdiee @987coley @deadlymistletoe @wayward-impala83 @whump-loverz

[winchestersisterimaginessss]

Request: hellooo! could you please write one where dean and sam are having their usual arguments but the sister is so sick of their shit, tried to tell them to get a grip and they come to their senses. but then flash forward the boys are ACTUALLY fighting, like throwing punches, and she gets caught by one of them? thanks, love your work!! <3

A/N: Hiiiiii!!! Thank you so much. I love this request and I hope I wrote it in a way you were imagining. If not, send me another request! As always requests are open. You can request anything you want, even if it’s something I’ve already written. Thanks everyone!!

Sam and Dean Winchester X Sister!Reader

I stood at the edge of the living room, eyes fixed on the familiar scene unfolding in front of me. Dean’s voice was as sharp as ever, cutting through the thick air of tension. The words were bitter, like venom spilling out of his mouth, each sentence more loaded than the last.

“Sam, you don’t get it. We don’t have the luxury of time. People are dying out there!”

I watched Sam, his jaw clenched, his posture rigid with barely contained fury. He leaned forward, hands planted firmly on the table between them. “You’re acting like we’re invincible, Dean! Like we don’t need a plan—like we can’t think through this!”

The frustration in Sam’s voice echoed in my chest like a drumbeat. But the thing that had finally snapped my restraint wasn’t their words—it was the way their anger was bleeding into everything. Every argument. Every conversation. It was relentless, a storm that never seemed to stop. I had been trying to hold onto whatever semblance of peace I could, but today… today I couldn’t take it anymore.

I could feel my heartbeat in my ears, that familiar surge of adrenaline clawing up my spine as I paced around the room, eyes darting from one brother to the other. My hands trembled by my sides, but it wasn’t just from the anger. It was the heartbreak—the exhaustion.

It had been happening for weeks. Every day, every single fight felt like it was tearing us apart. The same stupid arguments. The same stubbornness. And it wasn’t even about the monsters anymore. It was about us. The Winchesters. Our family.

And I was sick of it.

“Enough.” My voice cut through their bickering like a knife. The room froze in an instant.

Dean’s eyes snapped to me, that familiar scowl on his face as he straightened up from where he was leaning against the kitchen counter. “Y/N, don’t—”

“No,” I interrupted, my voice shaking, but this time with raw emotion. “No more. I can’t do this anymore. You two are tearing me apart.” I stepped forward, my chest tight with the weight of what I was about to say. “Every time you fight, it’s hurting everyone around you. Do you even see that? Do you realize what it’s doing to me?”

Dean’s expression faltered for a split second, but it was gone just as quickly, his jaw setting again, like a wall coming down. Sam, too, was silent, his eyes fixed on me, but I could see the flicker of guilt in his gaze.

I felt the tears pricking behind my eyes, threatening to spill over. “I’m your sister, goddamn it. And every time you fight, it feels like I’m invisible. Like I’m just the collateral damage. It’s not just your war anymore, okay? It’s all of ours. But I’m the one stuck in the middle, cleaning up the mess. And I can’t… I can’t do it anymore.”

My voice cracked with the last words, the weight of the admission crashing over me. I hadn’t realized how much I’d been holding in until it all came pouring out. The years of trying to keep things together. The endless struggles. But this—this constant fighting, the endless cycle of hate and misunderstanding—was the last straw.

Sam opened his mouth to respond, but before he could speak, I turned and stormed out of the room, unable to look at either of them. I couldn’t. I needed to get away. The walls were closing in. I ran to my room and I slammed the door behind me, the sound echoing through the hallway. The cool, dim light of my room offered no comfort. I collapsed onto my bed, burying my face in my hands. The tears I had been fighting for so long finally broke free, each one a painful reminder of how far we’d fallen.

I wasn’t sure how long I had been lying there, the muffled voices of my brothers drifting from the living room, distant and eventually fading into silence. For a moment, I allowed myself to hope they’d finally come to their senses. The tension in the air lifted, and I let out a shaky sigh of relief. I rolled over, searching for something to occupy my mind, anything to fill the quiet space between the cracks of everything left unsaid.

It felt peaceful—finally.

And then it didn’t.

A thud. A grunt. A crash. The unmistakable sounds of a fight.

My heart dropped. I knew what it was. It wasn’t the first time.

I shot out of bed, adrenaline surging through me. My fists clenched, nails digging into my palms as I sprinted down the hallway. Every step felt like it was dragging me deeper into the chaos that had consumed our family. I didn’t care if I was still raw from the argument. I didn’t care if my own heart was shattered.

I pushed through the door, eyes wide, breath ragged. Dean and Sam were on the floor, fists flying, faces twisted in rage.

"Stop!" I screamed, my voice hoarse and desperate.

But they didn’t stop. They didn’t even look up. Sam’s fist connect with Dean’s jaw, sending him stumbling back. And then Dean retaliated, throwing his own punch, and for a split second, I watched in horror as they both swung at each other, neither one holding back.

“No! Stop! Please, stop!” My voice cracked as I rushed forward, desperate to break it up, but I wasn’t fast enough.

They continued to swing, and this time one of their fists caught me by accident. The world around me seemed to slow down in that moment. The knuckles collided with the side of my face, and everything went black for an instant. I felt my body hit the floor with a sickening thud, the sharp pain in my head drowning out everything else.

Blood filled my mouth, and I could taste the metallic tang of it. I gasped for air, but it felt like the room was spinning. I tried to get up, but my legs wouldn’t hold me. My body was too heavy, too overwhelmed with pain.

Tears stung my eyes as I lay on the floor, blood dripping from my lips. I couldn’t believe it—couldn’t understand how we’d gotten to this point. How we—we—had let things get so bad.

“Y/N!” Dean’s voice shattered through the haze. He dropped down next to me, panic overtaking his features. “Shit… kid, don’t move. Don’t move, okay? You’re gonna need stitches.”

But I couldn’t hear him. My mind was clouded, my vision fading. I choked back another sob, my hands instinctively reaching up to touch the fresh wound on my face. The pain was blinding. I felt myself shaking violently, my body not able to handle the weight of it all—the physical pain, the emotional pain, the betrayal of it all.

“Why?” I whispered, my voice barely a breath. I turned my head to look at them, but my vision was swimming with tears. “Why do you keep doing this? You’re brothers. You’re supposed to protect each other. Look at me! Look at what you’ve done to me!”

Dean looked as if he had been slapped, his face pale and guilt-ridden, his lips trembling with words he couldn’t form. Sam, who had been hovering in the background, now moved forward slowly, his hands trembling as he knelt beside me.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Sam said quietly, his voice cracked with emotion. He reached for my hand, but I yanked it away.

“I don’t want your apology!” I screamed through the blood in my mouth, the words raw and painful. “I don’t want anything from you right now. I just… I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Sam looked like he was about to say something, but I was already staggering to my feet, my vision still blurry, my head spinning.

“No, you’re not helping!” I shouted, my voice breaking. “I’ll fix it. I’ll fix myself.” And with that, I rushed toward the bathroom, my legs unsteady beneath me, my heart pounding with each step.

I slammed the door behind me, locking it before either of them could follow. I couldn’t let them fix it. Not yet. Not when they were still at war with each other. I had to do it myself.

I grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink, my hands trembling as I fumbled with the supplies. I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I wasn’t sure I could even see straight through the tears and dizziness that clouded my vision, but I couldn’t stop. I had to fix it. I had to fix myself.

I dug the needle from the kit, my hands shaking so badly I could barely hold onto it. not even registering the pain as I pressed it into my skin. I was too dizzy to see straight, too lost in my pain to think clearly. The needle jabbed into my skin, but the agony of it was nothing compared to the emotional ache. My hands were shaking uncontrollably now, the stitches coming out uneven and jagged. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t. I couldn’t see the wound, couldn’t tell where I was supposed to stitch, but I pushed through the agony anyway, my body wracked with sobs. Every breath felt like it was going to tear me apart.

“Y/N, open the door,” I heard Dean’s voice from the other side, pleading. “Please. Please, we’re so sorry.”

“I don’t care!” I screamed through the door, the words strangled by tears. “You should’ve cared before! You should’ve seen what this was doing to me! To all of us!” You whimpered before slammed your hand down on the bathroom sink. “Our fucking family!”

The sobs wracked my body, my chest tightening with every breath. The blood dripped steadily from my lip, staining my shirt and the bathroom counter. I felt myself getting weaker by the second.

“We’re so sorry. Please let us help,” Sam’s voice came through the door, soft, desperate. “Let us help you, bug.” His voice was quiet, gentle, and broken.

“I don’t want your help!” I sobbed, my voice breaking. “I wanted you to stop fighting! I wanted you to care about me. About us.”

But the pain was too much. The dizziness too overwhelming. I could barely keep my eyes open, but I still fought, pressing the needle into my skin.

Suddenly, the door burst open. Both of them rushed in, their faces stricken with horror at the sight of me, hunched over the sink, blood staining the bathroom floor. Dean moved toward me, but I pulled away, backing into the corner.

“I told you,” I whispered hoarsely, my voice ragged with exhaustion, “I don’t want your help.” The words felt like sandpaper scraping against my throat. Maybe I was scared. Scared of how much this had gotten out of control. Scared of how much I’d let it tear me apart.

Dean’s expression twisted in anguish, and for a moment, I saw it. The guilt. The understanding that this was bigger than a typical fight. That I wasn’t just angry—I was devastated.

He dropped to his knees in front of me, the movement quick, but careful. His eyes locked on mine, full of regret, the weight of it pressing down on us both. He reached for me slowly, his hand hovering near my face. "We didn’t mean for it to get this bad, Y/N. We just…" He trailed off, swallowing hard as if the words were too difficult to say. "We didn’t know how to stop."

I felt the tears coming again, but this time, it was different. They weren’t angry, not fiery and sharp like before. This was something quieter, deeper. The rage had burned itself out, leaving only aching sorrow in its wake.

“I know,” I whispered, my voice barely more than a broken breath, “But… you can’t fix it with more pain.” My chest tightened with each word, the weight of everything pressing down on me like a storm I couldn’t outrun.

Sam’s face crumpled at my words, and I saw his jaw tighten as he stepped forward, his eyes darting from my blood-streaked face to the needle still clenched tightly in my hand. His hands shook as he reached for it, and when his fingers brushed against mine, I flinched, my body wracked with a fresh wave of pain.

“Y/N, please.” His voice broke through my haze of pain, gentle but firm. "Let me do it.”

I felt the sting of the needle being pried from my hand. For a moment, I wanted to pull it back, to insist I could finish it myself, but then I saw Sam’s face. The look of terror in his eyes. He knew me. He knew I didn’t do this. I didn’t stitch myself up—they always did that for me. Always. The realization hit him hard, the understanding that I had reached a point where I couldn’t rely on them, not even when things got this bad. And it was that look of pain in his eyes, that unspoken hurt, that made everything feel even worse.

Sam grimaced when he saw the uneven, jagged stitches I’d attempted—some parts too tight, others barely holding together. The pain from them was unbearable, but it wasn’t the physical pain that tore at me. It was the fact that I had been forced to do this alone. That I couldn’t trust them to see the full extent of what I was feeling.

He exhaled sharply and immediately set to work, pulling the needle through my skin with slow, meticulous care. My body tensed in response, and I couldn’t help but whimper as the needle pierced me again. The pain was excruciating, a deep, fiery throb that seemed to echo in every bone, every muscle.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Sam murmured, his voice so soothing it felt like the only thing keeping me tethered to reality. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ve got you.” But the words didn’t make the pain go away.

I felt every movement of the needle, every tug of the thread, and the sheer agony of it made my whole body quake. It was like he was stitching up my heart with every pull, each stitch a reminder of everything that had gone wrong. The tears kept coming, hot and bitter, spilling down my cheeks without my permission.

Dean moved in closer, his hand brushing my hair out of my face, and I could feel the weight of his gaze on me. His fingers were gentle as they touched me—like he was scared I might shatter under his touch. I was shattering though, all around the edges.

“I’m so sorry,” Dean murmured, his voice low and raw, barely audible above the pounding in my head. “We never should’ve let it get this far. I didn’t see what we were doing to you, Y/N. We didn’t see how bad it was.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hold onto the last shred of control I had left. The pain from the stitches was bad—so bad—but what hurt more was hearing the pain in his voice. Dean wasn’t supposed to sound like this. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one who fixed things. But now? Now, he was just as broken as I was.

“It’s not just the fights,” I whispered between sobs, my voice tight with the effort of speaking through the agony. “It’s everything. It’s how we’ve been falling apart for so long, and you didn’t even see it.”

Sam’s hands were steady, but his expression was pained, and I could see the way his jaw clenched as he worked, each stitch a slow promise that he was here, that he wasn’t going anywhere. But it didn’t stop the pain. The physical pain, the emotional pain. It didn’t stop me from feeling like I was drowning in it.

Dean leaned closer, his breath soft against my ear. “We’re here now, Y/N. We’re gonna fix it. We’re gonna fix us.”

I could feel his words, but I wasn’t sure if I could believe them. I wasn’t sure if any of us could ever fix what was broken. Not completely.

But Sam’s careful hands were still stitching, and Dean was still here, his hand resting on my shoulder now, providing the smallest bit of comfort as I cried. The pain from the stitches was blinding, but somehow, through it, I could hear them. They were here. They were trying.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Sam said again, his voice breaking. He was almost finished now, his hands trembling slightly as he worked the last stitch into place. “We didn’t see how much we were hurting you. But we will fix this. I swear. You’re not alone in this.”

The last stitch pulled tight, and the pain that followed was sharp, but brief. I let out a sob, my body trembling from the aftermath of it. Sam gently pressed a bandage to the wound, his hands now much more careful, but still steady.

Dean’s voice came again, quieter now, more vulnerable. “We see it now, kid. Everything is better when we’re in this together. We’re a team and we have to stay that way.”

And that—just that—felt like it was enough, for now.

Later, I sat on the couch, the bandage tight across my side. Sam was beside me, and Dean was sitting on the other side, his hand resting on the back of the couch as if to remind me he was there. We weren’t talking much. There was nothing really to say. Not yet. But somehow, the silence didn’t feel as suffocating as it used to. It was a quiet that was filled with understanding—the beginning of healing.

I leaned back into the couch, my head resting on the cushion. I wasn’t fixed. We weren’t fixed. But we were trying. And that was enough for tonight.

We were family. Even if we had to rebuild, piece by piece. We would make it through this. Together.

[winniewritesstories]

Balls | Meg Winchester Drabble ii

Summary - Meg learns a new word.

Pairings/characters - Meg Winchester (OC), Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, John Winchester

John Winchester x daughter, Winchesters x little sister, Dean Winchester x little sister, Sam Winchester x little sister

Warnings - 0 (John Winchester)

Language - English (British)

Word Count - 360

Notes - It physically pained me to write potato chips btw (they're crisps)

Credits - @firefly-graphics for the Impala divider <3

The Winchester's were situated in a motel room, much like all the other motel rooms, in all the other backwater towns they stayed in across America. Sam had his head buried in some homework, John and Dean pouring over newspapers looking for any freak accidents or weird deaths.

Two-year-old Meg was waddling about the room in just a diaper, bag of potato chips in hand. She was speaking more and more these days, learning new words every day, and she liked to babble to herself, little made-up conversations or singing silly little songs.

Having circled the musty couch where Sam was sat for a third time, she decided to venture toward the kitchenette instead, the ratty old carpet giving way to cracked linoleum. The divide between carpet and lino was uneven, the old flooring lifting up and warping from years of use and misuse.

Meg tripped, arms windmilling slightly, enough to keep her balance, but lost her bag of chips in the process.

"Oh, balls!" she exclaimed, letting out a small huff and crouching down on her chubby legs to start piling the chips back into the bag.

All three Winchester men looked up, staring dumbfounded at the toddler.

"What did you just say?" John asked, brows furrowed. Meg straightened up.

"Balls!" she said again, pointing to the spilt potato chips. Dean choked, stifling a laugh, turning his face so Meg couldn't see his smile. Sam, similarly, brought his book in front of his face, shoulders shaking as he laughed quietly. John's mouth twitched as he fought to keep a straight face.

"Meg..." he began, battling his facial muscles. "You don't say that word. Understand?"

Meg did not understand, frowning indignantly at her father. "Unca Bobby says it." she chirped matter-of-factly. John sighed, running a weary hand across his face. Dean let out a soft snort.

"That's not... it doesn't mean...." he sighed again, standing from his seat. He scooped her off the floor, settling her on his hip, intent on giving her a stern talking to, but one look at her wide, innocent eyes had him crumbling. "Remind me never to leave you alone with Bobby Singer again, okay?" 

⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆ ✦ ✧ ⋆

[thursdaythen]

Day 6: New & Niche

What if we were two unknowable, female-presenting entities in the vast void haha.... unless?

[thewnchstrs]

The Letter

Pairing: Winchester!Sister(OC Ellie)

Disclaimers: n/a

Word Count: 754

A/N: sorry this one is so short omfg. also, this would take place at the beginning of season 3 :)

M A S T E R L I S T

REWRITE MASTERLIST

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Are you sure it’s in here?” Sam said, rummaging through the glove box of the Impala, running a finger through the neck of his shirt that clung to his back. 

Dean grumbled, sifting through the visor above the driver’s seat in search of the same damn insurance card that seemed to go missing every year. “Check the visor.”

Sam pulled down the visor, two white pieces of paper flittering into his lap. Sam picked one of them up, showing the insurance card to Dean who snatched it from his hands. Sam chuckled, shaking his head as he grabbed the small white envelope, going to put it back in its place when he noticed the large, looping handwriting across the front. Handwriting he immediately recognized as Ellie’s.

“What’s this?” Sam asked, holding it up.

Dean narrowed his eyes, reading his and Sam’s names across the front. He shrugged, taking it from him and ripping it open. He unfolded the thin notebook paper, glancing to Sam in confusion before looking back down at it again.

Sammy + Dean,

Fuck. I guess I’m dead. I mean…if you’re reading this, then I probably am. Or maybe Dean went looking for that insurance card he loses every year. Sorry for dying, by the way. That really sucks and it was kind of shitty of me, leaving you two alone. I’m sure you’ll manage.

Sam and Dean glanced up at each other from the note and up to the motel room where they could see Ellie through the window, packing her clothes into her duffel bag. They both looked back down at the letter.

At the time that I’m writing this, I only have about six months left. It’s strange, knowing that every day that passes on the calendar I’ll never see again. I’ll never see the fireworks on the 4th of July, or the leaves changing in the fall. I’m just trying to soak it all up while I can. My birthday’s coming up. And to be honest, I never thought I’d see 22 years of my life. I’ve lived much longer than I ever expected to.

I’d never say to your faces, but thank you for all you’ve done for me. No matter what happened or where in the world we were, I always knew you guys would be right behind me, every step of the way. We never had any stability growing up. No home, no school, no friends. But in the end, none of that really mattered, because I had you. And that was more than enough.

So, please, for the love of god, don’t sit around moping. I mean…maybe a few days is okay just for you guys to remember how fucking cool I was and all that…but then, you need to move on. Hunters die every day, but that doesn’t mean the job does. I lived a good life, despite it all. I’ll be okay. And maybe one day we’ll see each other again.

Kick some ass for me.

Love,

El

Dean let the paper fall in his lap as they reached the bottom, sitting silently back in their seats. They watched her move across the motel room, unaware of what they’d found, something she’d intended for them not to find until she was long gone.

“We can’t let her go,” Sam whispered, looking over to Dean. “We can’t let her go to Hell.”

Dean had been telling himself this ever since he found out about Ellie’s deal. That he couldn’t let his sister be dragged to the worse place he could imagine, but nothing he tried was working. Either Ellie died and went to Hell and Sam lived, or vice versa. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself either way.

He glanced over at his brother, nodding. “We’ll figure something out.”

“You have to promise me, though, Dean,” Sam said in a serious tone. “You need to promise me that whatever we do, we do it knowing for sure that we all live. No more deals, okay?”

Dean wished he could keep the promise, but he knew better. He’d already been down every avenue, looked under every rock to figure out a way to get Ellie out of her deal, but nothing was working. He knew that if it came down to it, he would sell his soul for Ellie’s in a heartbeat. 

“Okay,” Dean agreed guiltily. Sam continued to watch him, like he didn’t believe him. Dean nodded, folding the paper again and sliding it back into the envelope. “No deals.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

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[strawlessandbraless]

Cas watched Dean kiss one person who wasn’t him and was immediately all ‘I'm considering disobedience’ and ‘for the first time, I feel…’