#Webmd

[dumblr]

Me: I have a headache.

WebMD: And it'll be your last.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

WebMD Page for Aziraphale

As promised to you all, inspired by that video of Aziraphale as an antidepressant. The WebMD drug format, from your clearly deranged mascot, Asmi. This took way too much effort. For legal purposes, even though this blog is a lawless hellscape, this is a spoof. If you did like it, reblog it, maggoty loves of mine, because likes don't help visibility on tumblr, and I want everyone to be traumatised with my own specific brand of unhinged. No pressure though, be rebels muaha. That being said:

MENU > DRUGS & MEDICATIONS > AZIRAPHALE

COMMON BRAND(S): Guardian of the East Gate, Angel GENERIC NAME(S): Aziraphale

USES This medication is used to treat mood-related disorders ranging from depression to chronic loneliness and anxiety. It has also been proven effective in treatment of Compulsive Demonic Behavioural Disorder (CDBD) and Post Fall Stress Disorder (PFSD). The medication results in an overall improvement in mood (see Side Effects), morals, and lifestyle choices. This medication is sometimes described as a 'miracle-worker'. It is advisable to ensure that the correct dosage is taken at regular intervals. The doctor/God/Forces That Be may prescribe a lower dose at the start, gradually increasing frequency and amount over the course of millennia.

SIDE EFFECTS Documented side-effects include pining behaviour, severe withdrawal symptoms in case of suddenly stopping the medication, heart palpitations, stuttering or stammering, mood swings including irrational lashing out or defensive behaviour when faced with highly emotional situations, break-ups, misunderstands, obliviousness, amongst others. Despite the studies being limited to a single subject (see Crowley et. al. updated 2023) these effects are typically harmless in the long term. Life-altering effects may also be noted, including irretrievably falling in love, marriage, a positive character arc, tendencies to put oneself at risk to ensure continuation of medication, lifelong friendship, fate-defying romance and severe allergy to the idea of discontinuation of medication.

WARNINGS Casual or reckless consumption can be too fast for the medication, which will lessen its effects, leading to withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal symptoms range from repeated indulging in CDBD and PFSD induced behaviours to alcoholism, depressive episodes, recklessness, listlessness, and prolonged car rides with no purpose. While the medication should not be consumed too fast, regularity is also advised. This is a long-term medication and not a short-term fix. Rare, short-term exposures will only worsen the side effects, withdrawal symptoms and may even reverse the drug effects.

PRECAUTIONS Ensure immortality so that the medication may be able to work its effect through the full course. Pre-existing trauma and heart conditions may require regular consultations with a therapist.

INTERACTIONS Drug interactions may change how the medication works or increase severity of side effects. This document does not include a comprehensive list of all drug interactions, please do adequate research and check instructions on the medication before proceeding with additional drugs. Aziraphale is known to have highly negative interactions with the toxin hellfire as well as the drugs Gabriel (only when sold as Supreme Archangel), Satan and Metatron (known toxin). Negative interference may occur due to most drugs from the class Heaven and Hell. Vague interference may occur with the drug class Homo sapiens.

OVERDOSE While less dangerous than withdrawal symptoms, overdose may lead to lack of personal space, miscommunication, and decrease in mood stability. Increased irritability is also common. Use with caution.

IMAGE

REVIEWS (1) Effectiveness: 5 stars Ease of use: 4 stars Satisfaction: 100000000000000000000e stars

It must be noted that in the country where I live (India), advertisements for pharmaceutical drugs are legally prohibited on television and other media. Which is why I was very bewildered at the initial video. But WebMD is a universal phenomenon so this shall by my contribution to the fandom. Thank you @neil-gaiman, Good Omens has given me a lot of opportunities to exercise my brain in all the weirdest ways.

[sophieinwonderland]

WebMD's DID article was reviewed by a microbiologist and I feel like more people should be talking about that!

Really WebMD?

Do you just not have any psychiatrists or psychologists willing to work for your site???

I get that it may be hard to specifically find a specialist in DID, but literally any psych doctor? Even a neurologist would be at least tangentially related! Are you seriously telling me the most qualified person to review this article was someone who studies GERMS???

[nevver]

Symptoms, via @marknewgarden

[iheartliquor]

[everett-fornow]

Are you serious rn

[papas-majadas]

[rxvera]

Useless trivia for your fic?

Oooooo, I'm not sure exactly what this question means lol, reading comprehension is not my strong suit, but for my most recent posted one, I considered naming it "Captain Healthcare" as a reference to this WebMD poster dkjxjhgkgjk

[incorrectclassicbookquotes]

So apparently WebMD Symptom Checker's slogan is "Good for what ails you." I have another slogan, "Good for making your anxiety go from zero to one hundred in only 10 seconds"

[changeling-of-the-fae]

WebMD at 3 AM; aka internet-era campfire ghost stories.

[popculturegenealogy]

Deception, the Diamonds, and the Truth: Steven Universe's family tree

Steven unsure what to think of his mom, as shown in the episode, "An Indirect Kiss" in Season 1

Steven Quartz Universe, the protagonist of my favorite animated series, Steven Universe, has a non-traditional family tree, although it is not affected by time travel and distortion as Philip Fry's tree is in Futurama. His family is unique but has some features of typical families. [1] Warning, that there are some spoilers about major plotlines in the show here, just a heads up.

Reprinted from my Genealogy in Popular Culture WordPress blog. Originally published on August 4, 2020.

Using various fandom pages, here is a rough chart I produced:

This chart leaves a lot of questions. For one, who are the parents of Greg's parents? They would be Steven's great-grandparents. Additionally, who are the parents of Doug and Priyanka? Who created Blue, White, Yellow, and Pink Diamond? Who are Andy's grandparents? And that's only the start. Technically, all four Diamonds are one entity, the Great Diamond Authority, but Rose/Pink is Steven's mother, who sadly died while giving birth to him, throwing the Crystal Gems (Steven's guardians) into a bit of turmoil. Due to this connection and the fact that White, Yellow, and Blue treated Rose/Pink as their child of sorts, they are basically Steven's grandparents, specifically his three grandmothers. Also, only a few of the couples on this chart are married, specifically the parents of Greg and Andy, while it is presumed that Doug and Priyanka, Connie's parents, are married. To be exact, Connie and Steven, former lovers Rose and Pearl, former lovers Rose and Greg are not married. Andy points this out rudely in the episode "Gem Harvest." There is another detail I need to talk about as well. The surname of Universe is one that Greg changed from Demayo. As such, Steven was born with the surname of Universe, and the middle name of Quartz. His full name, according to his fandom page, is Steven Quartz Cutie Pie DeMayo Diamond Universe.

The above chart misses a lot, however. Steven considers his guardians (Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst) to be his family, as he does with Connie, Lion, and his other Gem friends (Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot) to be his extended family. As Steven's chosen family, as some people call it, they are definitely a part of his life, but with the chart in its current organization, the typical hereditary format, I'm not sure where to add them without creating confusion for the viewer. Perhaps if the chart had a different format, they could be included in their entirety. It also misses something else, the four beings considered his creations: Watermelon Stevens, Pumpkin, Cactus Steven, and Topiary Stevens. Since they come about from his DNA/Gem abilities, they can be considered his children. It's almost akin to artificial insemination, where, according to WebMD, a "doctor inserts sperm directly into a woman's cervix, fallopian tubes, or uterus."

Among other issues that complicate this is the fact of fusion, symbolic of relationships or friendships between two or more people. This almost completely operates outside the above-mentioned family tree, with a few exceptions: Steven and Connie form a fusion, while Steven and Greg form a fusion. Some people have shown them in a "fusion tree," while others put together a "fusion graph." Unfortunately, both are sorely out-of-date, with the fusion graph done three years ago. So, I made a new chart, with the Crystal Gems in the center, and not including Fusion Gems not tied to that core group. [2] Since Steven is half gem and half-Gem, he is a fusion himself!

This chart says a lot more about Steven's family and the connections they have together than the earlier one shown in this post.

© 2020-2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

Notes

[1] To create this tree, I used the Steven Universe, Greg Universe, Minor Characters, Andy Demayo, Rose Quartz, Pearl, Doug, Priyanka, Connie Maheswaran, White Diamond, Blue Diamond, and Yellow Diamond pages from the Steven Universe fandom site.

[2] This includes Bluebird Azurite, Rhodonite, Topaz, Lemon Jade, Topaz Chamber Guard, Crazy Lace Agate, Watermelon Tourmaline, Ruby, Hand Cluster, Giant Ruby, Fluorite, The Cluster, and Cluster Gems.

[kdnotkevindurant]

Me: I have a headache

Google: GET IN THE CASKET ⚰️

Me: 👁️👄👁️

[maryjbligefashionbook]

Event: @therealmaryjblige Cover WebMD Magazine -January/February 2008 . #MaryJBlige #webmd #tbt #magazinecover https://www.instagram.com/p/CqblM-TuHQf/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[firespirited]

On a side note, I’d really like a button to press on online medical sites to say I have an autoimmune disorder and I have a high pain threshold because I stick anything new in there and it spits out

cancer,

worse cancer,

your liver is dying

oh no it’s complete organ failure

and if you scroll down far enough:

If you are on cancer treatment, had an organ transplant, have AIDS or an autoimmune disorder, it’s probably this fairly harmless opportunistic infection.

(You look it up and it’s treated with a medicine developed in 1937 for arctic sailors with foot rot except it’s not an ointment anymore it’s in pill form - it works a treat by the way except it turns your tongue blue)

[ofwordsleftunsaid]

No, you probably do not have ADHD. You are easily suggestible, falling into the hive mind, and most likely are a perfect target for propaganda.

See a professional. Your thirty-seven seconds on WebMD does not make you qualified.