#We Are the Children of Our Parents

[thedooms]

A lot of people like to act like Calvin is just this unstoppable force of Chaos and Philosophy, when really great care is taken to let you in on the fact that Calvin very much IS the child of his parents.

Calvin gets a lot of his verbosity and views on life from his father, but he’s six, so it’s all filtered through a view of a child’s thoughts on instant gratification.

Calvin’s mom is less concrete, but we do get glimpses of Calvin’s gift for sarcasm, and if his grandmother is to be believed, his mother was just as much of a rambunctious chaotic kid as he was.

That’s not even getting into her penchant for tricking Calvin into doing exactly what she wants (a trait she shares with his father) From pretending a plate of rice is maggots to just *letting* Calvin smoke so he can learn a lesson about not doing it, she really passed on a lot of traits to her son.

So yeah, Calvin isn’t some devilish child who cursed his parents. His parents were just immensely chaotic individuals in their youth who calmed down and began to temper those tendencies later in life. Possibly to the point of forgetting what it’s like to be a kid, but those traits are still there, just hidden under a lot of layers of life and needing to be mature to raise a kid.

I meant to post all of these, but they didn’t go up for some reason…

[bixels]

The idea that uni protesters are "elitist ivy-league rich kids larping as revolutionaries" on Twitter and Reddit and even here is so fucking funny to me if you actually know anything about the student bodies at these unis. Take it from someone who's going to one of the biggest private unis in the US, 80% of the peers I know are either from the suburbs or an apartment somewhere in America, children of immigrants, or here on a student visa. I've heard about one-percenter students, but I've never met one in person. Like, don't get me wrong, the institution as a whole is still very privileged and white. I've talked with friends and classmates about feeling weird or dissonant being here and coming from such a different background. But in my art program, I see BIPOC, disabled, queer, lower-income students and faculty trying to deconstruct and tear that down and make space every day. So to take a cursory glance at a crowd of student protesters in coalitions that are led by BIPOC & 1st/2nd-gen immigrant students and HQ'd in ethnic housings and student organizations and say, "ah. children of the elite." Get real.

[mishy-mashy]

Toga: Someone who wanted to be happy

Uraraka: Someone who wanted to make others happy

And also,

Toga: Someone who wanted the world to be easier to live in

Uraraka: Someone who wanted to make the world easier to live in for others

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 117

Bruce does not enjoy magic. In fact he’s absolutely horrible at it, to the point it’s better that he avoids it in general. Getting thrown into some sort of summoning circle bullshit was not helping him feel any better about it either. 

At least he isn’t dead… probably. He might be surrounded by green and there might be a massive entity sitting on a throne, but he isn’t dead yet. Even if the cult had been rambling about sacrificing ‘the dark knight to the dark king’. 

… His kids are definitely going to kill him, but there are small children peeking out at him from within the being’s cape. Who seem happy enough, while the… king looks exhausted in a familiar way. Well. Maybe it’s his own parental exhaustion talking, but they can’t be too bad if their kids are happy to be there. 

[mr-shimurka]

He's just his father's son

[furiousgoldfish]

When you grow up with only abusers around you, it can be hard to find an environment in which you can learn morals, basic values and integrity that most children have access to, if they're surrounded with healthy, just, moral adults. Even as children, we often understand viscerally that we don't want to be like our parents, even if we think they love us or whatever, we firmly see that something is wrong, this person is doing damage, we don't want to turn out like this.

Our experiences in school (if we attend it) can give us a little insight into how a person is expected to behave in an everyday setting, but it is still an environment of constantly being controlled, having to do as we're told, only getting to socialize in little breaks and often struggling to socialize because you have not been offered a proper socialization. At young age you can only mimic what you saw in others, and for you this can mean extreme behaviour, erratic behaviour, isolation, complete apathy, switching from one extreme to the other. It can make you blacklisted in your group of peers, because nobody can understand you or predict your behaviour; you can get called a freak. Your new environment can label you problematic and make you feel like you don't belong there, either. And you don't even know what you've done wrong.

In times like this, we often turn to media to learn what's normal, what ethics we should follow, what values we should integrate in our lives, and this is something that can't cut us out, or call us 'not good enough'. It's a little refuge where we get the chance to learn without being punished for screwing up, or even anyone knowing you screwed up, because you're learning by observing characters who don't observe you.

I remember as a child vividly feeling enlightened, and almost consumed by media that promoted messages of friendship, found family, people sticking together, caring about each other, saving each other. Not only it felt incredibly real, but the morals and messages they promoted, got engraved deep into my heart. I wanted nothing else but to live a life like that, if only I found the right people, or found myself in the right situation. It felt profound, important, life-saving.

When people you're surrounded with are manipulative, self-serving, guilt and shame inflicting and utterly cruel individuals, the depth and emotion you get from media feels powerful. The fact that you can feel and yearn for something that is more pure than you have in your surroundings, that you can reach for higher and deeper and more honest human experience, it can set you apart from the abusers you're surrounded with. It can feel more real than reality, more right and true than what you have in your life.

And the thing is, morals and positive messages from children's media, or even other types of media, aren't made to be adapted by people in real life. They're made for this other, fantastical reality and they don't exactly work in the real world. But for us, they're a step that we take in order to wrench ourselves free from the horrifying and bleak picture we have in our everyday reality - nobody caring about anyone, people exploiting every little bit of free will, being told that your life doesn't matter - we need something fantastical and powerful to combat that shit. We need to believe there's something better out there, and we need a chance to learn how to conduct ourselves when the time is right, what values we should have, what behaviours we should learn.

It's not a perfect help, but it is often the only help we get. Sometimes we can end up a little wonky, with our priorities and dreams slightly unrealistic, because of the mix that we've been brought up in. But it isn't for no reason. We have to believe that there's a fantastic heaven for us somewhere, because we're currently in hell, and we need to know that surviving it is worth it. That there's a different reality waiting for us outside. Place where we belong to.

[theflowerofthecommonwealth]

Jasmine: (Does a ghostly call around a campfire) “¡Ayyyy miiiissss hijooooos! ¿Dónde están mis hijoooooosss?”

MacCready: (Puts his hands over his ears) “StOoOoOoOp!”

Jasmine: (Has her hands out in front of her as she moves around) “¡Quiero mis hijooooos! ¿Dónde están mis hijos?”

Piper: “I have NO idea what you’re saying, kid- but it’s freaking me out!!!”

Danse: (Is as white as a ghost at his spot by the campfire)

X6: (Says nothing while shuffling on his own two feet, hands in his pockets)

MacCready: “Can’t you just… Tone it down a notch or two?”

Jasmine: (Throws up her hands) “It’s Halloween!!! It’s suppose to freak you out!!! That’s the point!!!”

Piper: “After all the spooky scares we pulled on each other during the prank war- we all are a bit tender!!! So give us a break! Now we have to worry about some vengeance filled Mexican lady coming after us!”

Jasmine: (Rolls her eyes) “¡Cobardes! Y’all are a bunch of sissies! I’ve been hearing this story since I was born and so had most of the kids my age in my neighborhood.”

MacCready: “And I’m pretty sure you kids were living off a gallon of coffee and three hours of sleep all the time!”

Deacon: (Comes out from behind a bush dressed in a white nightgown and a long dark wig) “OoOoOoOoOoOo!!!” (Slowly moves towards the campfire, the smoke machine he set up earlier adding extra dramatic flare)

Jasmine: (Points and gasps) “¡La Llorona!”

MacCready, Danse, and Piper: (Scream bloody murder in sync)

X6: (Stands there stock still as his soul silently leaves his body)

Nick: (Comes running over) “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!?”

Everyone: (Dives behind RoboDad for protection)

Jasmine: (Runs up and puts her arms around his waist, staring up at him innocently) “Papi- La Llorona wants to take me away and drown me! So you hafta protect me!”

Nick: (Heavy sigh as he picks the teen girl up) “Not the vengeance ghost lady again- haven’t you told enough of those scary stories?”

Jasmine: (Huffs) “No- I haven’t told everyone about El Cucuy yet.”

Nick: (Glances behind him at the trembling adults) “Maybe hold off the scary stories until after Christmas…”

Deacon: (Waves his hands around some more) “OoOoOoOoOo!”

[batcavescolony]

Batman: Under The Red Hood

I think this is a moment that reminds you that Alfred Pennyworth raised Bruce. Thomas Wayne was Bruce's father for so few years, he was young when they died, he probably doesn't remember much about him. The person that raised him the most was Alfred. So for better of worse Alfred is part of the creation of Batman.

[eyestrain-addict]

Iwtv s2 ep2 spoilers

My thing I'm wondering is that in the promos/trailers claudia screams that Louis "picked another one over me" but in this episode she's encouraging louis to live outside of her and pursue a romance with Armand. I wonder what's going to change in the next few episodes.

[yuridovewing]

i understand the frustration with “i made this gay pairing cis x trans so they can still have biological babies” with no thought to other methods and how ppl assume thats the case when it comes to mothpool aus where mothwing is also the mother of the three, but also…. idk i kinda dont give a shit if someone wants to do that and i dont really think its inherently transphobic as long as its handled with care and respect.

what really concerns me about this debate is how some people are adamant that you cannot portray trans people having biological children in media or youre being disrespectful. and im gonna say as a nonbinary person who doesnt want children for themself- thats kinda fucking weird? like i understand that for some people, theyre trans themselves and theyre speaking from a place of dysphoria, and i absolutely get that, which is why i think the topic should be handled with nuance and diversity in trans characters, but like…. guys. pregnant trans men exist irl. trans women get people pregnant irl. trans ppl’s ability and right to parent and have biological children are being debated irl. we get denied the opportunity to adopt as well.

in a climate like this, are we SURE we want the stance on rewrites and headcanons in the silly cat books to be “if you portray trans characters having children, especially with a gay couple, youre a transphobic freak no matter what!” does it really matter? especially if its being done by a trans person handling the topic with nuance who has a lot of trans characters with varying perspectives?

obviously yes, remember that thats not the only way certain gay couples can have kids, remember that not every trans person is fully comfortable with it and keep that in mind, remember that surrogacy and adoption are also perfectly valid ways to give fan babies- but remember that there are OPTIONS. not that you need to condemn the idea of transgender parents in the first place unless they fit the very specific criteria of “proper transgender representation” and anything that dares deviate from that is proof the op is a transphobic monster (bonus points if theyre a trans creator bc i mostly see trans people getting shit for this and it kinda pisses me off. although idm if cis people do it either as long as theyre handling it with respect)

[fatehbaz]

.

[swan2swan]

Annual reminder that Aang wasn't a terrible dad, that one episode was badly written and had poor perspective. Aang was a busy, working dad who had a lot of stuff to do, and then suddenly his third kid was a full-on Airbender and he was literally the only one qualified to teach this baby, so then he finally had an excuse to put his family before his duties ("My family IS my duty now, suckers!!!"), and so Kya and Bumi were all "What the heck, Dad???" because they were now teens (iirc) and they missed out on all that stuff.

It was basically Aang going from "my family has 20% of my time" to "my family has 40% of my time". Still not enough, probably, but Aang could finally go and explore his own culture without feeling guilty about leaving the rest of the world to fend for itself.

[lucentaire]

something that i think we, as a fandom, should outgrow is reducing characters to common jokes / memes. i think this especially applies for the more minor characters because as someone who has mostly written minor characters, it is really discouraging if the general opinion on a character that you love is [ insert meme here ]. the author already fails to respect his characters. not clowning on the characters your fellow rpers clearly love and adore enough to write them should be the bare minimum

[kdafuckbrigade]

i'm going to tie myself up in knots thinking about lisa silverman. in KNOTS about it. ouroboros, you'll end up letting go. even if you bite down there's NEVER enough meat and it's not even your fault. you're always gonna have to let go. the only thing you get to choose is how far deep the scars can go, and that's not very comforting

[waitmyturtles]

Your post about your upcoming Bad Buddy meta got me thinking about Bad Buddy (again), and I remembered one particular thing that had an impact. Apologies if this is long and rather incoherent, I wrote this past midnight.

In the final episode, the part where we see Ming and Dissaya turn a blind eye to Pat Pran's shenanigans really struck a chord with me.

[I'm an Indian, born and raised, and queer, but it's well worth mentioning that my experiences are not universal- in fact, they may be the exception rather than the rule; I'm not quite sure.]

What it reminded me of was, that asian parents tend to come around eventually- in particular mothers. We've seen time and time again in series' that deal with difficult/not accepting family members; Bad Buddy, GAP, Wedding Plan, maybe even Double Savage (haven't watched this one but I believe the dad feels bad in the end?), that even if the parental figure(s) doesn't agree with their children's choices, they learn to compromise. Because the difference in opinions isn't worth losing their children over. Obviously, for every parental figure that comes around there's one that the children cut ties with (Wedding Plan remains a good example), but I think it's something worth seeing.

It made me think of how I was never scared of coming out to my mother, because I knew that, despite the difference in views, and her prejudice, she'd accept me, no matter whether she thought it was a phase or not.

Do I know what the point of this ask is? Not really, I was rather nervous sending this ask, especially not on anon, but I'd love to know what you think of this, since I've come to really enjoy reading the thoughts you have on these shows.

Ohhhh, wow. @starryalpacasstuff, come 'ere for a big mom hug! HUGE HUGS!

I'm gonna unwind a little randomly; I hope this is coherent. A ton of what I write about on my blog vis à vis Asian dramas are the unique characteristics of Asian families and an Asian upbringing. Parental conditional love, competitiveness, our unique experiences with intergenerational trauma. I write a lot about how Asians, in our cultural expectations of life, accept pain and suffering as an assumed part of our existences. The reason why I watch Asian dramas exclusively is that, as I'm Asian-American, I just connect far more easily to the Asian cultural experience of growing from a child into an Asian adult, than I do the experience of white Western folks growing into their adulthood. I grew up intimately with Asian cultural practices and expectations; but I also grew up with racism in my external American world, and came to my adulthood in a society that still values white Americans above all other demographics.

But one thing I'm cognizant of, that I don't think I write about enough, is that many of these characteristics of the Asian cultural scopes of life are indeed similar to those that a fully American person (for example) might experience. It's not like intergenerational trauma doesn't exist in the West. It's not like homophobia in families against a child doesn't exist in the West.

However. As an Asian-American, one thing I note about many (not all, of course) Western families and family systems is that very often: Western adults will give up their agency to be loyal to what I might call a "higher power" -- a philosophy, a political preference, a religion. If a queer person wants to come out in a conservative American family, that queer person may very well be risking cutting permanent ties with their family.

That, of course, also happens in our Asian family systems. But I think you're onto something, @starryalpacasstuff. While divorce rates are sky-high in the West -- there is also a paradigm of family systems being and looking different in the West than they do in Asia. Asian family systems still don't accommodate for divorce and blended or chosen families as they do in the West.

The Asian family systems and paradigms that you and I grew up with as Indians absolutely still value a heterosexual two-parent household -- and I'd posit that our past generations, our grandparents and great-grandparents, put HUGE, HUGE pressure on our parents to keep the two-parent family systems together and whole. And to keep the children close. It's a huge value in our Asian cultures to have whole and complete families. The West has become far more accommodating, culturally, on this issue.

And, so. I totally agree with you, @starryalpacasstuff. I think we do see the beginning of a coming-around on the parts of Ming and Dissaya. And that coming-around is certainly something we can relate to. Our parents will likely accept us for our differences. I fucked a lot of shit up with my folks when I decided to live independently of their desires -- and I don't think things really healed (and I still carry tremendous traumatic baggage) until after I had my own kids, and expanded all of our families. Because in the end, the value in our Asian cultures is that keeping the family complete and close still matters more than any one's individual biases or desires.

Ming and Dissaya are remarkably traumatized people. Ming was traumatized by the expectations of his father. He screwed Dissaya over, and literally handed his trauma to Pat on a silver platter, for Pat to embody for most of his life. And Pat flipped that platter over in his father's face and ran away. Ming, at the end of the series, is passive-aggressive with Pat, despite Pat's efforts to try to work with him. And yet -- Ming still sips Pran's scotch.

To your point -- does time heal everything? I'm not so sure in the West, with the Western predilection for Christian/Puritanical/conservative values to supersede reasonable family resolutions. But I think, because of the value that Asian systems put on having complete families, that you are right -- that there may be more room in Asian family systems for eventual acceptance of a child's "differences," despite us living in collectivist societies. This is definitely not an absolute. There are environments in which it's still dangerous to come out. But the value that Asians put on family does indeed give us a tiny bit of comfort that our cultures can move the needle on acceptance in different ways over time.

[maggiecheungs]

POV: you’re the son of a qing court official and your venerable teacher has just paused his lesson on ideal confucian masculinity to give the class a PSA about the temptations of running off and becoming a taoist monk