#Warlock as a devil baby

[lejoursobre]

That's how it happened to me 🦆 S2 made me re-watch s1 and as 2019 is now a long time ago, I forgot how much I loved it!

[an-excellent-choice]

Headcanon where Gale is the famous professor in the academy for being one of the few professors who actually had a great perilous adventure but none of the students (and some staff too) believe it really happened.

Like they file it away as one of those things where he probably just saw it at the sidelines not really like thick in battle since he has the orb to worry about.

Until finally one day Gale holds a special series of seminars/demonstrations for in the field spellcasting for fights or crisis. He invited all the party members he could in these seminars

Suddenly a former shar worhipper, gith, vampire, devil, is that the blade of frontiers(?), the legendary jaheira and the hero of baldurs gate just are there to help the demo/seminar.

A nighttime demo for Astarion, A lesson on how to cast light spells and be alert for rogues. Not to mention how to maintain concentration when you get shot by an arrow, Gale will say as Astarion shoots an arrow at him. ( at some point an arrow does sink in Gale's shoulder and the whole class freezes but Gale just tuts disapprovingly while Astarion just acts innocently like he doesnt have a longbow in his hand)

Karlach makes a demo on how to distinguish devils and how to kill them. She and Gale also show how to deal with a raging barbarian in a fight as a wizard, Hint human shields i mean tanks companions are important.

Wyll is charming the socks of the audience and shows self-defense tactics when an enemy too close. Oh yes he used to be a warlock but his patron was a devil so he had to cut ties with her

Shadowheart talks about healing spells and being aware of the your companions healths. She especially emphasizes the importance of being able to self heal in emergencies especially for wizards while giving pointed looks at Gale while Gale awkwardly(or guiltily?) shuffles and clears his throat

Laezel talks about the battlefield positions and best placement of wizards in the field to help the strongest soldiers and she also shows which of the body parts they should aim their spells. (I like imagining Laezel having her baby strapped on her while doing her demo or using her baby to show which body parts)

And after a while the students realize with how Gale seamlessly shows or helps in the demos that omg maybe professor Dekarios did help save the baldurs gate

[sorcerous-caress]

Heyyy!! Could I request the companions taking care of a new baby + a toddler while their partner recovers?

Taking care of the kids while you recover

[Fluff, marriage, raising kids, nb!reader]

[Astarion, Wyll, Gale]

I'm not feeling the best rn so I did just three, i hope you enjoy anon.

Astarion

Seeing that this is your second baby together, he feels less out of his element now. He is more confident in his ability to care for this little bundle of joy with pointy ears cradled in his arms.

He almost doesn't recognise his own self these days. When did his sharp edges grow so soft? When did he become so tender, and when did his eyes become so round and happy?

When you proposed to him that day in the underdark, when you presented him with a modest ring that made him go speechless. He has seen many more glamorous ones, much more expensive ones, but somehow, this simple band with the most precious gem completely took his breath away.

That's how he ended here on this cozy couch with a silver haired toddler running around enthusiastically. Astarion calls them over to gently wipe some crumbs from their face, looking at their innocent adoring eyes.

They had your eyes, he couldn't help but squeeze their adorable cheeks and give them a kiss on the forehead like any dotting father would.

Him, a doting parent? That idea would've made him choke with laughter some years ago.

The ring glimers on his finger as he holds the newborn baby closer to his chest, humming a soothing melody in elvish for his second child. The first stared at him from the side with a pout.

His child was so obvious with their emotions that Astarion couldn't help but chuckle, "Jealously isn't a good look darling, come here." With that, he had another kid cuddling up to him and demanding a lullaby too.

Astarion obliged, relieved that his presence seemed enough for his children at the moment while you were recovering. Part of him was anxious about what if they only wanted you? What if they weren't as attached to him as he thought?

He was never happier to be proven wrong in his life.

Wyll

The sun shines brightly through the thin white curtains in the kitchen. Wyll is mixing together a baby formula on the counter, measuring the right amount on the spoon as he scoops away the extra powder from the top.

Adding the powder into the baby bottle, he gently shakes the warm bottle. The sound of light footsteps approach him in a failed attempt of stealth as a toy wooden sword is pressed against the back of his legs.

"Surrender!" A high voice calls from behind him, his very own kid with determination in their eyes as they press the dull edge of the sword more against Wyll's pants.

"Oh noble hero, may I know what crime am i being accused of before I surrender?" Wyll plays along, a smile painting his lips.

"The crime of!!" His child starts with confidence, "of...." trailing into uncertainty as their grip on the sword falters.

Wyll is patient as he lets them have the time to gather their thought. cleaning and wiping the counter down.

"Of not giving me food!"

"Didn't you just eat your breakfast after stealing my breakfast?" Wyll scooped up his child up in his arm, holding him with one hand while carrying the bottle with the other. His kid kicked their feet in the air as they dropped the wooden sword.

"But dad!! That was hours ago, I'm hungry."

"I clearly recall it being minutes ago."

Moving to the living room where his youngest laid peacefully sleeping in their small rocking bed, Wyll let go of his hold just as he sat on the couch.

Climbing into his lap, the most adorable brown puppy eyes looked up at him. "I want pancakes please" stretching on the end of the word, his kid whined.

With a defeated smile, Wyll agreed to it. Knowing you'd scold him for spoiling the kids too much if you were here right now, still he was weak against them. Somehow, his own kids were more persuasive than any devil this warlock has ever encountered before.

Gale

"There you go, all dry and clean" he said as he started to put on the baby bear onesie back on the giggling infant in front of him, their small hands gripping on Gale's beard with surprising strength as he zipped them up.

Yet the discomfort barely mattered to the wizard, he happily let them play with his face as he admired how adorable they looked in the fluffy animal custom. Smiling and giving their belly a soft kiss to make them laugh even louder.

The loud crash from outside the room barely phased him either as he kept coddling the infant, calling them endearing names and cradling them in his arms. "Papa's here, no need to fret."

"MR.DEKARIOS!" Tara's screech followed shortly after, "your presence is required immediately!"

Still too busy entranced by how adorable his child was, Gale took slow steps out of the room, contouring harmless light tricks to impress his youngest.

The sight that met him was one that would've probably given his younger self a heart attack no doubt, the countless torn pages of books thrown around the floor, the spilled ink and the crumbled magical scrolls.

But as the years went by, he found himself mellowing out much more. Very few things phased him by now, especially with how ironic life tended to be. The fates must be snickering right now. to give him a kid with wild magic in their veins, brimming with sorcery from such a young age.

You usually kept them in line, Gale was too guilty of being an enbaler as you've put it. It's not his fault he thought his kid was the coolest person in all the realms.

"Books are for losers!" Ah, there they stood, his own flesh and blood. Amidst the chaos of papers and magic, a potted plant.

A talking potted plant.

"Did your magic surge again?" Gale could only feel amusement as he leaned down to pick up his child, making sure to hold it far away from his other child so they don't nibble on the leaves of their sibling.

It seemed like both his cat and his child prefered to continue their argument. "Why, I have never heard such nonsense before! Mr.Dekarios, would you please get your spawn in line." Tara, his beloved elegant tressym, was flying around him in an attempt to smack the plant with her soft paws.

With a giggling wobbling infant on his right arm and a potted plant polymorphed kid on his left, Gale effortlessly casted the necessary incantations to reverse the polymorph while avoiding Tara's claws.

A poof of sparkling light filled the room as a full toddler replaced the potted plant, Tara blinded by the light, crashed into them and they all stumbled down onto stacks of torn papers.

The three of them buried under the pile, only the fluffy bear onsie wearing emerged unharmed on top.

[bluecoolr]

Have a coronation ink doodle

And Bloo's biography nobody asks about her, so I'm gonna take the initiative to yap about her as much as I want

Emmeline is a high elf warlock, whose patron is Levistus.

Part of their contract involved Emmeline bearing Levistus’ child, his eventual successor as the Archdevil of Stygia. That is, once Geryon the Usurper has been dealt with and the child accepts its intended purpose to be Levistus’ puppet.

Emmeline, not willing to condemn her baby to a life of evil, hatred and loneliness, entrusts the child to the cambion Raphael.

Raphael makes a deal with Emmeline: her soul for the safekeeping of her child. He casts a powerful charm to disguise the winged, icy-blue cambion infant as a tiefling, and leaves it for a tiefling couple to find and adopt.

The baby is named Bloo as a term of endearment.

Raphael, however, intends to use Bloo as a pawn in his plot to acquire the Crown of Karsus. He also intends to tempt her with the chance to rule Stygia independently from her father. This is another deception, since he would also use her as a puppet once he becomes the Archdevil of the Hells.

Bloo grows. Everything's daisies and sunshine.

Raphael spies on her (to make sure she hasn't died or something) from time to time.

Then, Bloo starts to show signs of magical abilities.

She starts to sprout gnarly wing-like protrusions on her back.

Her adoptive parents notice that she gets physically sick when she eats anything other than meat.

A pervasive burnt smell seems to follow her, as if someone had struck a match and let it burn down.

She was just odd. She made the villagers uneasy, to say the least.

They called her a freak.

She ends up friendless, shunned by her village, and hated by the father she came to know as her own.

The turmoil of her home life makes her magic unstable and at times destructive. Like a beacon, Levistus hones in on his spawn's energy and despair, tracking her down before making himself known. Not yet as her father or liege lord, but as someone she can find solace in (a manipulation tactic). A strange friend, but a friend no less.

Bloo reaches young adulthood more or less unscathed, embittered by her experiences and dreaming of a life somewhere she's wanted.

Finally, she gets accepted into an apprenticeship. Her father is more than happy to send her on her way with a bagful of clothes and as little money as he can spare. On the road, Bloo gets abducted by the Mindflayers and implanted with the tadpole.

She goes on the journey, companions in tow, but being an outcast makes it hard for her to fully connect with everyone. During the journey, Raphael and Levistus fully reveal themselves and their respective involvement in her life. Basically, both devils bid for her loyalty, banking on their past efforts of manipulation and isolation.

Raphael restores Bloo to her true form - gives her back her wings and unties the knot on her infernal talents.

Levistus lends his own strength and abilities to his spawn, allowing her to channel ice- and storm-related powers.

Bloo, in her desperation to be loved and wanted, to feel useful, to feel in control for once in her life, decides that she would get the best of both worlds. She signs Raphael's contract, promising to deliver the Crown of Karsus in exchange for the Orphic Hammer and the Throne of Stygia.

She deposes Geryon and rules in her father's stead. He remains frozen in his icy prison.

Bloo also agrees to become Raphael's consort - cementing their alliance and strengthening Raphael's claim as Archdevil.

[atrueneutral]

I had an idea for a cute scenario for Raphael x Tav involving Scratch and the baby owlbear. Now, Raphael probably wouldn't be a fan of the two, but Tav either comes with the fur-babies or not at all. However, one day Raphael (and, to a lesser degree, Tav) are tricked into a trap by other fiends - maybe implying a desire to negotiate with Raphael - where Raphael ends up being drawn away and separated from Tav while other fiends/warlocks ambush his little mouse, either to kill or maybe use as a hostage, (a 'If you're here, Raphael, then who is watching out for your little mouse?' kind of situation) and the only reason the scheme fails is because Scratch and the owlbear intervene to fearlessly protect Tav until Raphael arrived and could help Tav put the attackers in their place.

Judging by their protective body language and their overall wariness of their surroundings, the owlbear cub and the mongrel didn’t trust the devil Mez’gal.

They were smart creatures, at times, but they were also filthy, malodorous, and an unfortunate, bothersome consequence of his… partnership with Tav.

“I was summoned to hear you grovel, and yet I hear none,” Raphael said with a sneer and a gesture to the pit fiend.

Mez’gal had ‘surrendered’ to his little mouse as soon as she and her four-legged hunting party had found him outside a village, and she aptly called a mortal appearing Archdevil Supreme to hear the fiend's final pleas.

“Might we conduct business within your House of Hope, my lord?” Mez’gal proposed. His large fiendish body bowed - a sign of desperate submission.

“I’d sooner let that dog step foot in my House than you, but, seeing as how eliminating you here would only send you back to the hells, and I desire to end you completely...”

Raphael looked back to Tav. She gave him a nod and a small smile, and he raised his hand in preparation to snap. 

It was at the last second, just as friction was applied to thumb and middle finger, that he caught a malevolent glimmer in Mez’gal’s infernal eyes.

Snap!

They materialized in the entrance hall, and Raphael shed his mortal visage.

“Grovel,” the Archdevil Supreme demanded.

Mez’gal smirked.

“I was under contract, my lord,” he spat. “And by bringing me here, I’ve just fulfilled it.”

“By bringing you here… I’ve guaranteed your death.”

Mez’gal's face turned mocking as his arms opened wide. “I’ll be a martyr - by the time you kill me, your little pet will be dead from the ambush.”

Rage boiled, spilling over, and Raphael ascended - to rip and bite and tear the pit fiend asunder as quickly as possible.

—

When he reappeared, no longer ascended, there was nothing but the scent of bloodshed; the bodies of three warlocks were scattered about with gashes in their clothes, bite marks in their skin, and arrows embedded in limbs.

The two remaining enemies were busy throwing panicked spells at the filthy, malodorous animals coming for them.

Snap!

Snap!

Hellfire consumed the warlocks - their screams deafening as they instantly fell to the ground.

The two creatures watched, growling and posed defensively as they waited for the last breaths to leave the warlocks. When death came, smelling of burnt flesh and blood, Tav went over to the cub and mongrel. Raphael was somewhat irritated to see how non-plussed she appeared - as if attempts on her life were an amusing everyday occurrence.

And she was ignoring their true savior!

“My two good boys, yes, you are!” she said, giving them pets and scritches that delighted the animals greatly. Tav then leaned her ear towards the mongrel’s head. “What’s that, Scratch? Why, yes! I do think Raphael owes you both a ‘thank you’!”

Raphael’s irritation increased; he knew she could not speak to animals.

She was grinning at him, and he was weak for loving her smile so.

“Thank you,” he bit out.

Tav grabbed the mogrel’s muzzle , and the mongrel allowed her to move his jaw as one would a puppet.

“Rawrrororor,” went the mongrel.

“You’re most welcome, Saer Raphael,” said Tav as the mongrel.

Yes, filthy, malodorous, and sometimes helpful creatures they were.

[onmyyan]

Been playing so so much baldurs gate and wanted to submit DND considerations for your OCS, please share your thoughts on the vibes:

Caspian: cleric all the way baby. can hit things real hard AND won't let shit hurt a loved one, but if it does get past him, he'll patch you up <3 healing touch on darling so he can cradle their face all lovey dovey. Could also see a paladin, but maybe one with a very unique understanding of his oath to protect others. Maybe even secretly broke the oath but doesn't care; if he's sworn to protect life, surely the oath should understand that he WAS protecting darlings life by violently ending another one?

Gabe: barbarian, obvs. himbo energy, big and tall, flies into a rage when need be, likes and enjoys violence with as little armor as possible. Tries to drink everyone under the table in every town and usually wins, but also usually ends up in a bar fight when his drunk competition ends up a little too mouthy abt darling for his liking. Will throw darling over his shoulder when they need to run

Ricky: wizard pondering his orb but in the snarkiest way possible towards everyone but his darling. "Are you that fucking stupid??? Are you illiterate?? Why get in the direct and literal line of fire when I'm casting. You deserve that scar" vs "if I ever accidentally singe even a hair on your head, I'm going to throw myself off a cliff". Likes to read to you in your tent bc it's "easier to focus", but just thinks you're so cute when you're falling asleep listening to him <3

Marcos: rogue, baby!!! He's stealing shit off anyone that annoys him, pulling darling out of the way of traps and into cozy little nooks with him while the others scramble out of the way. The party gets stopped at a toll house and he pickpockets the guard, then undoes their trousers and ties their boot laces together for good measure.

Manny: warlock but some real freaky shit, eldritch horror type beat. He's flickering at the periphery of your vision and you SWEAR he's got tentacles coming out of his face but when you look directly at him he's all :3c . his patron doesn't come around too much, Manny picked one that specifically wouldn't be too intrusive, bc he's been planning this shit out since the moment Ricky first cast a spell. He's always wanted magic but didn't feel inclined towards the scholarly pursuit of it so much as the "deal with a devil" thing. Is trying to figure out ways to bend the deal to benefit him and darling through powers beyond mortal comprehension

Diego: druid, no question. Affinity for wolves over everything else but makes a very cuddly lap dog too when the need strikes. Probably hangs out with darling as a literal stray first and then accidentally shifts one day, ending up directly in the lap of a now very freaked out darling

Ash: long-suffering ranger in a party of city dwellers. "Put that down" "don't eat that" "for the love of- no, you cannot pet the owlbear". Secretly enjoys being the only one in the know when he gets to show off for his sweet pea and may let the others do stupid stuff knowingly if it means he looks better by comparison.

Darling could be some adventurer or innkeeper who crosses paths with one and then all of the party, who just has to go with them to finish their quest or stay safe from the town that's suddenly overwhelmed with monsters. Or maybe HER party was wiped out by some shadowy threat, and she never figures out that her new pals know more about that tragedy than they let on.

This is absolute perfection??? How did you know I been playing baulders gate huh?? How'd you know this would scratch my brain in a perfect way??

[incorrect-dnd-classes]

Warlock: you say i can sink no lower, but baby im playing limbo with the devil in hell

[aziraphales-library]

Hey, I love you guys sm! Thanks for the amazing work

Could I ask for more kid fic recs? Especially if they include Warlock too.

Also, if you wouldn't mind, some queer!warlock & the ineffables recs would be perfect!

I've read almost everything there is in your tags regarding this tropes and I'm struggling to find new ones by myself.

Thx! <3

There are only a finite number of fics, and at this point I think we have just about all of them on our #kid fic tag! I have managed to scrape up a few more, a couple of which include queer Warlock...

(Re)Found Family by N_N_Nics_s_s (T)

Warlock knew four things. One, They were in Soho. Two, they needed to get back to the room they were renting. Three, they had no idea how to get back. Four, their phone was dead and they had a cord but not a battery pack. Maybe they could ask one of the shop owners if they could plug in their phone in their shop? Yeah, that seemed like a good plan. Or: Warlock gets lost in Soho and goes into one A.Z. Fell & Co. and ends up with an unexpected reunion.

When 'Baby A' Grew Up: Soho by seekeronthepath (T)

Now that he's reunited with Crowley and Aziraphale, Warlock starts figuring out who HE is. Who they are? Something like that, anyway.

Devil's backbone by Joseph_Amadeus (T)

Single father Ezra Fell and a single father Anthony Crowley meet when Ezra needs his plumbing fixed. There's no innuendo here, none at all! It's just that they... Get along. They get along very well.

what you feel is what you are by suzukiblu (T)

Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis retire at the same time, without any warning or anything. Warlock doesn’t need a nanny anymore and it doesn’t matter who the gardener is, but . . . But they retire without any warning, and they don’t even say goodbye. Not to him, at least.

Creative Writing for Creative Children and Panicked Nannies by munchmulch (T)

Unsurprisingly, it only takes a few moments for pounding feet to be heard from the hall before a harried looking man skids to the entrance of the room, halting with a jerk before actually stepping in. “Adam! You can’t just run off like that! I told you that they’re not going to want a bloo—“ he cuts himself off with a strangled sound, “blasted adult sitting in on a club!” --- Aziraphale is as prepared for the new school year as he can be-- what he's not prepared for is an awkward man in sunglasses who's about to pull Aziraphale into not only his own life, but the lives of Aziraphale's students.

Secret Santa by AppleSeeds (T)

On the advice of his therapist, Crowley signs up to be a 'Secret Santa', an anonymous gift-giver for a community initiative aiming to bring some Christmas joy into the lives of people going through a hard time. He's partnered with Aziraphale, a librarian who has lost his home and bookshop in a fire. Through the power of Christmas Magic, Crowley ends up meeting Aziraphale in person when he takes his nephew to the library and is immediately smitten. He becomes determined to use his expertise and influence to give Aziraphale the only Christmas present that could really make a difference, but are some things too important to be kept secret?

- Mod D

[beebopboom]

The Meta Underground

A Guide to Navigating what has been my brainrot posting about Good Omens

I apologize in advance for how long a lot of these are

feel free to message and asks are always open!!

non good omens related blog -> @boppinbee

Meta Series

The Bookshop

A Bookshop in Soho Eden - the bookshop is set up like a garden, hidden Tree of Life, rivers of time, and is the whole of Whickber St Eden?

The Book of Life to The Second Coming Pipeline - a couple of theories about the book of life, the rings, the fly, bookshop, and coffee

The Second…….Ball? - Gabriel’s arrival really did trigger the Second Coming - at least a version of it

The Title Sequence

Background Shenanigans - hints in the background of s1’s TS that lead to s2’s and what that might mean for our story.

Timeline Theory - those walkways are timelines

Heaven’s Timeline - a more in-depth look at how the walkways are Heaven’s planned timeline

Three Final Acts -the three magic tricks we see in the title sequence and what they might be in the show

Not the Magic Trick we see - initial findings for Three Final Acts

Mystery symbol - the ongoing search for a mystery symbol

The Metatron

The Angel Behind the Curtain - some wizard of oz parallels - we are just warming up people

Always an Angel, Never a Man - let’s dive into who he is in scripture shall we?

Am I a Good Angel? Am I a Mad Angel? - some similarities between him and the figure head of the devil

A Kind of Magic - numerology, tarot cards, and is he cosplaying?

Words of a Wise Angel - an actual look into his actions in the show and some of his funny word meanings

Agnes Nutter

The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter - a list of all her prophecies and images I could find from her book

Messages from Above - is she a witch? is she a prophet? how about both? let’s look into how she is getting her prophecies

Refined by Fire

(unfinished)

Clothing

there will be more here eventually and has to be updated

Clothing within Ranks -Angel Clothes and what the colors mean in show!universe

Aziraphale’s tartan - how lighting seems to effect his bow tie

Theories

Greasy Johnson: A Red Herring? - season three speculation about how the baby swap included Jesus as well, Hello Warlock

Unexpected Help - Saraqael was the one who opened the gateway in the bookshop

Nuns Night Out - what are those nuns doing at the theatre?

A Case of Missing Weaponry - ever wondered where Michael’s spear is? boy do i have a crackpot theory for you.

Meta Groups

Aziraphale

Aziraphale’s Flaming Sword - the human history behind his sword

The Halo was the Cause - why the Halo was the reason the Metatron showed up

An early journey of questioning - it really doesn’t take him long

Aziraphale’s Protection - how he protects Crowley

Aziraphale’s unintentional? placement - Aziraphale standing to the left of Gabriel in Job

A lying Angel - lying to protect his love

Choosing Death- choosing death doesn’t work maybe it’s time for something else

Don’t try to be God - why Aziraphale got nervous in Before the Beginning

Crowley

Crowley’s Fall - he really didn’t mean to Fall

Anthony J Crowley - a self discovery through his name

Defensive Crowley - acknowledging the consequences of the arrangement

Crowley losing the bookshop - and he’s the only one to have

Crowley giving up Alpha Centauri - he gave away their safe space

Stars to Plants - she just wants to watch her creations grow ok

Crowley’s Ringtone - not quite a normal phone sound

It’s always too Late

The Ineffables

The apology routine - maybe there is more to it than the dance

They love humanity - just in different ways

A duet - it’s not a want but a need

Nothing - their versions of nothing

Power dynamic - “second in command” ok wow that hurt

Paranoia and Isolation - how the pandemic may have affected them

Difference of Perspective - how the audience vs characters view A&C

Timeline

The Flood changed it all - it really fucked them up

Future Minisode time slots - the gaps in time for possible future minisodes

Heaven

1827 Second Coming? -crowley and aziraphale unintentionally fucking things up

Metatron future manipulation - something he is going to “let” Aziraphale do in s3

Angel confrontation tactic - they really like trapping Aziraphale into conversations huh?

Wildcard

Dirty Donkey Lift - just questioning why the hell it is there

Cut dream sequence - whose is it?

Something up with fours? - discussing some fours in the show

Angels don’t dance - and they don’t ask for forgiveness

Freemasons lodge - duality of the Resurrectionist

No Garden? No God - they left the garden

Maggie’s Ugrency - picking apart her misspelling

Questioning the Coffee Shop - only two beings do it - Crowley and the Metatron

Slamming of the books - Jim says some interesting things when slamming two books together and what it could mean

If Gabriel can leave Heaven and be with Beelzebub, why can’t Aziraphale do the same with Crowley - more of a ramble than anything else

The Wicked Bible - the second printing error

ASAP - further look at the many asap’s around the coffee shop and how it plays into the final fifteen

Memory Returns - a (currently) three way visual parallel of when memories are returned

Acrostic Clues

fuck I have to reorganize this again

[victorgrwrites]

Gortash is an Artificer

Some people doubt this, and those people do not see the light. One angle I've seen is that he just steals other's schematics, but let's be real. If you're not stealing or finessing into other artificer houses' schematics, you're not an artificer.

Two, there's documents that clearly comment about additions to those schematics in Gortash's writing. It takes knowledge to alter those schematics, let alone comprehend them.

AND ANOTHER THING, there's no reason for a warlock (and by extension a devil patron) to be interested in a dirt poor kid with shitty parents. Unless that kid happens to be good at something, and there's multiple times where his mom talks about how he was a smart kid that was too smart for his own good.

If I had to hazard a guess, parents that talk like that probably didn't like that he was more interested in artifice than shoe making, didn't like that he was smarter than them in anything, and didn't like the 'mess' or 'time wasted' on pulling apart and putting together little machines.

Now, with my rant done, here's some bonus HC broth I've been making specifically about Gortash.

He absolutely snuck into the Hall of Wonders all the time as a kid, just to look at everything. There might have even been a worker there who let him sneak in cause Enver just looked so damn excited every time.

Man doesn't have a crossbow, fuck that. He has a gun/enhanced arcane focus, Larian just didn't have time for artificer stuff yet we're just not ready for it.

In case anyone hasn't noticed yet, he likes artifice because they're machines and can't turn on him. He literally builds them; they can't lie and choose to hurt him, they can't leave for something better, they are the ultimate barrier between him and anyone else.

The majority of his knowledge came from his time in the House of Hope, or maybe elsewhere in the Hells. It's why the Steel Watch have infernal engines.

Durge Bonus:

I've got a little bit in mind for the first fic where Jack (Durge) and Gortash meet, and Jack asks to use his knife. He throws it back at Gortash to give it back, but instead of stabbing his leg, it just comes back to Gortash's hand. Returning Weapon, not RAW, but rule of cool, baby. Because again, Enver's machines never hurt him.

Jack often wonders if he'll find metal in Gortash if he digs around in his body enough. Even though he knows it's probably not true, his instincts tell him it'll be in his chest, near the spine, under the sternum. One of the many and various kinds of looks he'll give Gortash is the 'searching for your metal' look every now and again.

And Gortash finds it weirdly flattering.

[moghedien]

ok fine so like preface just wanna say this isn't really a critique on Wyll specifically. his patron and whatnot at least has some contextual reasons to make sense in this game on the sorta devil side of the plot and I'm also like only barely starting act 2 of the game so I have not seen where his whole story is going. this isn't a Wyll specific thing and more just like the general way Warlocks are handled in dnd media that I've experienced

because when it comes to dnd I am absolutely a warlock apologist. Its my favorite fucking class and I will fight anyone to the death who argues that it's only good as a multiclass option because it is one the classes that has the MOST rp fodder built into it and its so versatile. if you're a minmaxer who just wants to make the biggest explosion or do the most damage yeah you're probably not gonna like it. but if you wanna be forced to fuck around with magic in creative ways (and even use weapons while being a caster) and have your backstory be important to everything about your character, then its warlock all fucking day baby.

but I find fiend warlocks just so fucking boring.

not because they have to be inherently boring but because that's for whatever reason the only kind of warlock that exists to everyone involved in making dnd related media. like I swear every time its just "someone made a deal with a devil and it turned out to be bad!" like come oooon. Doctor Faustus was written in the 1500s, we can be more creative than that.

and yes, examining the fucked up power dynamics between a warlock and their patron is great! but we know a devil is bad when we make a deal with them! there's arch fey, eldritch beings, even fucking celestials as patron options in dnd that are at the very least morally indiscernible and sometimes outright good that are like much more interesting moral and ethical storylines to go down. for instance, why a morally good celestial might turn to some freak willing to make a deal with them to get something accomplished rather than, say, a cleric.

like I love warlocks. the potential to get messy and fucked up with it is just soooo ripe no matter which direction you go. but GOD. why do we just always go down the same "deals with devils are bad!" storyline over and over again.

[verosvault]

🚨SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR EPISODE 7🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Junior Year"

Episode 7 "Stress Tested"

Timestamp: 1:01:58

Video Length: 5min.

Fig talks to Zara about continuing Warlock classes + Impromptu Field Trip to the Bottomless Pit (‣Pt. 1 | Pt. 2)

Brennan: "I think if you wanted to talk to any of the teachers, you feel cool to talk-"

Emily: "I definitely wanna go to the Warlock."

Brennan: "Cool. I think, like, that night after the Twilight Ceremony is when Warlock class is anyway. So like 30 minutes later you're skateboarding into school and Zara says,"

Zara: "Ah, Miss Faeth, it is good to see you."

Fig: "Hi."

Zara: "Listen, I think I checked the roster. There's some paperwork that needs to go through. What- and I don't want to harsh your vibe."

Fig: "Right, right."

Zara: "What class on paper are you in?"

Fig: "I'm just sort of an off paper kinda person." 😂🤣💀

Zara: "Right, so you're trespassing?"

Fig: "Yeah." 😂😂

Zara: "Okay." 💀💀

Fig: "Okay, here's the deal. I think I like your class, and so I would like to keep coming."

Zara: "All right."

Fig: "So if there's a matter of paperwork, I'm willing to dot some i's and cross some t's."

Zara: "Perfect, I think this is a very wise decision. You are in Bard classes, I believe. But as long as you get permission from your Bard teacher."

Brennan: "You see she produces a contract, and a little thing of flame and it's an MCAT. She signs her name allowing you to multiclass into her class. She hands it to you and says,"

Zara: "The power of the Warlock is the power of the agreement, which is the power of the relationship. Where do you wish to draw your power from? And where do you feel that you are drawing it from now?"

Fig: "I am an archdevil of rebellion 'cause my dad was an archdevil of rebellion. Now he actually coaches-"

Zara: "Your dad is Gorthalax?"

Fig: "Yeah, Gorthalax is my dad."

Zara: "All right. Students, impromptu field trip!"

Brennan: *screaming* "And a burning sigil appears on the ground and you see a portal opens up, and you are looking at the Bottomless Pit. And you see Baby goes,"

Baby: "Oh, Mistress!"

Fig: "Hey, Wretchrot. Can we have a field trip?"

Baby: "Ah, yes! Everyone has to lick me!" 😂😂

Fig: "Well, he's the boss!"

Zara: "Is he the boss?"

Fig: "He is the boss I work for."

Zara: "Demon, no- Er, Devil" *hand motions* *magical surge* *abjures Wretchrot*

Baby: "Ah! She's killing me!" *flies away*

Brennan: "And all these Warlock students sort of, like, gingerly step through this flaming portal and you see yourself back in the Bottomless Pit. You see there's a bunch of harried-looking little spine devils and barbed devils going like,"

Devil: *grunting* "Mistress." *rubbing hands together*

Fig: "I had this actually other crazy idea. Sorry, I'm so all over the place. I was thinking we could set up a recording studio."

Devil: "A recording studio."

Fig: "Are you guys good sound technicians?"

Devil: "Hold on one second."

Brennan: "They open a pair of double doors. It is a sort of grand cathedral-esque waiting room with almost like city hall style pews. It is crammed with souls. It is just crammed with damned souls being like,"

Damned soul: "Oh, thank God."

Brennan: "And you see they come in and all the devils go,"

The devils: "We've been waiting to hear from you for some time. We're not sure how to process these. These are all edge cases and, sort of, we need a ruling on a lot of them."

Fig: "Ruling. Okay, blanket ruling: I condemn you all to rock!"

One guy way in the back: "Nooooo!"

Brennan: "And a bunch of other people start looking around and talking. And you see this one guy who's got like-"

Fig: "If you're here it's 'cause something ****** up happened in your life. Work it out in a ******* guitar, process through some nasty distorted amp. I want you to blow out the ******* electricity in here!"

Baby: *re-manifests* "Ha ha, you heard mistress. You must turn this room into the bangingest sound studio that the Nine Hells have ever seeeeen. And then lick meeee!" 😂😂

Fig: "You guys actually don't have to do that last part. Yeah."

The one guy way in the back: "Nooooo!"

Fig: "You can. You can."

Brennan: "And you see that all of these damned souls begin to toil in the burning heat. Then sort of start constructing, like, booths. So you see that one of the barbed devils goes- with a nasty cat of nine tails is like,"

Barbed devil: "Get foam!" *whip cracking*

Fig: "No, no, no. We can't do that."

Emily: "Can I take his little nine of cat tails and give him a guitar?"

Barbed devil: *starts playing a guitar*

Ally: "He's a noodler! Oh no, he's a noodler!"

Barbed devil: *weeping* "The music feels so good!" *keeps playing guitar*

Fig: "Okay. Yeah."

[dimension20npcofalltime]

Round 1A - Bracket One [Dimension 20 NPC of All Time]

Swifty vs Wretchrot/Baby

Propaganda Under the Cut (Contains major spoilers for A Crown of Candy)

Swifty - he/him

Campaign: A Crown of Candy

Who is he?

Swifty is a little gingerbread man with a little Peter Pan cap. Other than that, he's pretty much naked. He has the classic buttons and is almost two-dimensional. He wields a lollipop shard knife. He's a pretty fucked up little guy that has a penchant for stabbing everyone he sees.

Why is he the NPC of All Time?

What's there to say? He's absolutely perfect. No one has a the clear and intense first impression that he does (stabbing everyone all the time). It's a clear character, and it really works.

He’s 43. He’s twice divorce-widowed. He’s deep down bad and he recognizes that.

The violence of this little gingerbread man with his stupid voice brings joy to my heart.

He's a fucked up little gingerbread man that is a 43-year-old twice divorced little gremlin. Whats not to love?

Wretchrot/Baby - he/it

Campaign: Fantasy High Sophmore and Junior Year

Who is he?

Wretchrot is blood red, has a scorpion tail, little wings, and no erogenous zones. He is a very low status devil, being formed of the blood of a half-mortal, but still looks down on the Hangman for being a hell hound. He is made up of blood and eats blood as well. He is weird and has a eccentric behavior which makes him bad at making friends, but a great dancer.

He is not a class feature at time of posting but if Fig takes another level of warlock it is implied he will become her familiar.

Mod Comment - I implore you all to look at Baby's wiki page because some of it is so funny

Why is he the NPC of All Time?

He's baby

He's a little guy who likes whispering and screaming :)

Baby is just a little guy who wants to whisper and scream. He’s creepy and bloody but he’s ultimately hilarious and he is always down for (trying to) steal stuff.

[sighed-the-snake]

Crack theory.

Banana fish gorilla shoelace with a dash of nutmeg.

Excerpts from the book, too lazy for page numbers

Banana = Warlock.

When Warlock was ten he liked baseball; he liked plastic toys that transformed into other plastic toys indistinguishable from the first set of plastic toys except to the trained eye; he liked his stamp collection; he liked banana-flavor bubble gum; he liked comics and cartoons and his B.M.X. bike.

Fish = Greasy Johnson.

But Greasy Johnson had never found a sport that suited him. He was instead secretly devoted to his collection of tropical fish, which won him prizes. Greasy Johnson was the same age as Adam Young, to within a few hours, and his parents had never told him he was adopted. See? You were right about the babies.

Gorilla = Second Coming.

“Whole sea bubbling, poor old dolphins so much seafood gumbo, no one giving a damn. Same with gorillas. Whoops, they say, sky gone all red, stars crashing to ground, what they putting in the bananas these days? And then—”

Shoelace = Adam.

Adam brightened. “Oh, tomorrow’ll be all right,” he pronounced. “They’ll have forgotten about it by then. You’ll see. They always do.” He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellissed Elba. “You all go,” he told them, with a brief, hollow laugh. “Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be all right. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

and

And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot . . . no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human . . . Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield. . . . . . . forever.

Nutmeg = The events at Sodom and Gomorrah.

“Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy,” said Crowley sourly. “Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?” “Sure,” said the demon. “There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass—” “I meant afterwards.” “Oh.”

Aren't these things mentioned plenty of other times in the book?

Sort of.

Lots of mentions of fish, but only one connected to a character.**

A few interesting mentions of bananas, but again, only one personally attributed to a character.

But the only two mentions of shoelaces belong to Adam.

The sole mention of Nutmeg is associated with large swaths of humans getting murdered by Heaven.

Gorillas are only mentioned when Crowley and Aziraphale were discussing the end of the world.

(** There is one other character associated with fish, and that's Greaser, one of the bikers. He has FISH and CHIP tattooed across his knuckles. Greaser. Greasy Johnson. Both greasy and fishy. I'd say it still fits. Maybe Greaser is foreshadowing of Greasy Johnson's future as a bully; that's for another meta.)

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Don't know. Maybe it foreshadows the events of S3, that the three boys are going to be heavily involved in the oncoming disaster, and (due to the phrase's connection to deception/magic tricks) they are going to pull a fast one on Heaven and Hell that no one expects.

Maybe the story begins with Warlock and Greasy, then the Second Coming business heats up, and Adam doesn't get involved until the end, when the world needs defending. After all, Adam has done this before.

[little-pup-pip]

i remember u posting a thing where it shows all the requests you haven't done yet. I just want to see as I requested something long ago in 2023. I'm not trying to seem pushy, I'm just curious!

(this was rhe person that requested a bugbo thing)

Here you go!! This is very long, so I put the list under the cut!

These are the requests sent after I stopped accepting them that I didn't delete for various reasons. If you sent in a request after I closed them on March 14th and don't see it here, you'll need to send a new one (please don't take it personally if I deleted it)!!

Black + squirrel

Asra (the arcana)

Shurara (keroro gunsou)

Ring tailed lemur

Buzz light-year

Rottweiler

Yellow raccoon petre

Lionel Messi

Sonic the hedgehog

Light pink and blue bunnies

Middle school gym class

Jenny wakeman (my life as a teenage robot)

Chris Kratt (wild Kratts)

Yuri (doki doki literature club)

Cole (Lego Ninjago)

Crowley (good omens)

Stingray

Prince + bunnies

CG vil (twisted wonderland)

Alt + Wolf-dog

Golden retriever

Hobbes (Calvin and Hobbes)

Kipo (kipo and the age of wonderbeasts, I think)

Leif (my inner demons)

Little big planet 3

Clouds + pastel blue

Outdoorsy + animals

Sun and stars + bunnies

Chase (paw patrol, I actually have two of these waiting)

Cinnamoroll

Eastern red bat

Octopus regression

Tiger CG

Aquarium trip

Pastel coloring + kitties

lavender/grey bunnies

Pastel dolls

Jumping spiders/Leopard geckos

Dr. animo (ben 10)

Shuichi saihara

Black Shiba inu

This is everything left from before I closed my requests!

Osamu dazai (bsd)

Flutist

The dazzlings (equestria girls)

Vampire with Halloween themes

Guardians of ga'hoole

Gromsko (MW2/3)

V (murder drones)

Cg SD-N (murder drones)

Cassidy (overwatch) and cowboys

TMNT Leonardo

Ranboo

Pastel kitty

Lackadaisy

Epithet erased

Another OC named cerys

Pikmin

Slay the princess

Someone's pictures (Idk what to call this one just know that I'm going to do it)

The Magnus protocol

Bive (regretavator)

Donnie darko

Megamind

Jake Peralta (Brooklyn nine nine)

Allister (pokemon)

Umi (idk from where I'll figure it out eventually)

Rottweiler puppy and the creek

Monster tom (eddsworld)

Gnarpy (regretavator)

Xianzhao loufu (hsr)

Cg jing yuan (hsr)

Cupcake and dino

Kitty petre pomni (tadc)

Shiromo (pui pui molcar)

Jack harkness (doctor who)

Pettoism

Cg basil hallward (the picture of Dorian gray)

Cats

Spiderman (again! lol)

Mei (Lego monkie kid)

Cats + cakes

Houndoom (pokemon)

Wolfwalkers from cartoon saloon

Lucifer (hazbin hotel)

Critterspace (drafts)

Minecraft lush caves (drafts)

Ibara saegusa

Llewellyn Watts (Murdoch Mysteries)

Jake (trailer park warlock, drafts)

Cult of the lamb (pet dreaming themed)

Tubbo

Cassie (fnaf: ruin)

Black kitten + space

Grey draik (neopets)

Pumpkin head (still needs more research)

Someone's OC Avery & siblings

Maki harukawa

Brown, lime green and forest green puppy

Dylan (the magic roundabout)

Zombies

Vincent (dead plate)

Osamu dazai (bungo stray dogs, drafts)

Vision CG (marvel, drafts)

Light blue

Bearded vulture

Mind (Chonny Jash/CCCC)

Seam CG (deltarune)

John Constantine (Justice League Dark)

Keralis (Hermitcraft, maybe)

Tula tones (novi stars, drafts)

Eevee + dragons (or witchy themes which I may do instead)

Kitten + stars (I think, the request actually says stairs though and it's been confusing me)

Mushrooms

Grey + Ross federman youtooz (drafts)

Boyfriend.xml (Friday night funkin')

Puppet (fnaf)

Genshin impact (drafts)

Eddsworld

Karako Pierot (hiveswap)

Scorpion

Border Collie

Mortal Kombat

Puppy + SpongeBob (drafts)

Baby vulture (drafts)

Rain world/slugcat (drafts)

Border Collie

Modded smash hit rooms

Crying child (fnaf)

Agent Smith CG (the matrix)

Rolfe DeWolfe CG (Rockafire Explosion)

Slime rancher

Puppet (fnaf)

Parado (Kamen Rider)

Tally hall

Rockabilly (probably)

Felix Lee

Charles Xavier CG (X-Men)

Naoto Shirogane (persona 4, drafts)

Kitoto

17th century dutch (drafts)

Sees behind trees (drafts)

Allay (Minecraft, I think. Drafts)

Tasmanian devil (drafts, can't figure out if they want the cartoon or animal)

Spamton CG (deltarune, drafts)

Grunge + lop eared bunnies (drafts)

Yume-Nikki (drafts)

Daxter (jak and daxter, drafts)

Madness combat for puppies (drafts)

James Sunderland (silent Hill, drafts)

Shirokuma (Danganronpa, drafts)

Leo (IDW comic, drafts)

[rayadraws]

The way Wyll's and Cirrus' relationship develops (starting with canon events in BG3 and then with my own HC:s/working off that is like) amuses me because it's like-

What people THINK:

Wyll Ravengard, the duke's son and folk hero, suddenly disappears. When he's finally back in the city he has been transformed into some kind of devil, sporting great horns and a red-on-black eye, etc. He's married(?!) to another devil, a sorcerer one - apparently the marriage took place in Avernus, one of the hells, where Wyll supposedly spent the better part of a year. The duke claims all is well, but clearly Wyll sold his soul to that other devil or something, he probably enchanted him to look more like himself too.

What REALLY happened:

Wyll is abducted by the Illithids, he ends up running into another group of abductees, among them a tiefling sorcerer named Cirrus. The two of them quickly catch each others' eye, starting with curiosity that grows into fondness that grows into love. Cirrus helps Wyll end his contract with his warlock patron (though not before she punishes him by transforming him), as well as helps save his father the duke's life.

Wyll eventually proposes and Cirrus accepts, but soon after they travel to Avernus to help save their friend Karlach's life. While there they decide to marry proper, given that they aren't sure they'll even survive this and want to at least get that far - and besides, everyone knows infernal contracts are absolutely airtight, best you can get. Eventually they make their way back to Baldur's Gate, where Wyll presents his spouse to the court.

Bonus:

The first rumour among the nobles is doubtless that Wyll first met Cirrus in Avernus, but eventually it's found out that no, he's actually a Baldurian too, specifically from the poor Grey Harbour area aka the Docks. It's been confirmed in fact - apparently he had a reputation growing up there where he was known as the "Bad Omen". Something about an unexpected tiefling baby being born during a terrible storm.

For the first time ever, Cirrus' undeserved reputation Sort Of works in his favour lol