#WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE DEAD KIDS THAT GET TO ME FFS

[cuteniarose]

I'm not into The Dragon Prince at all (I've seen the first 5 seasons but only remember the first 3 clearly, now that my sister and I live apart she can't force me into watching it anymore lmao), but my sister was ranting about the latest season to me yesterday and...

Look. I'm the kind of person who doesn't get too emotional over media that isn't of my own creation. There are notable exceptions (LoK Book 3 finale, Tomorrow was the War, The Dawns Here Are Quiet, just a few that come to mind) but for the most part, it's rather hard to get to me. My sister is the same, I don't think I've ever seen her cry over a show or movie or book.

But the ending of the seventh season? Leola's Last Wish?

It fucking BROKE US

WE WERE SITTING THERE ACTUALLY GODDAMN SOBBING

THIS SHOULDN'T BE FUCKING ALLOWED I'M GOING TO CHEW ON DRYWALL

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 40

PREV

The Winter Banquet.

Where the Spring Championship announcements happen for Collegiate Exy. A formal event meant to allow the ERC to showcase how their stars weren’t just brutes on the court. Look at how beautiful and handsome they all were. Look at how they danced together. Look at the smiles and laughter and-

Wait.

No.

Put that down.

Who had the great idea to put the Jackals next to the Terrapins? Things have been tense between the teams since the Captain of the Terrapins stole the Captain of the Jackal’s date during the Fall Banquet!

I thought we all agreed that there would never be any more steak knives! What was the point of paying for all the pre-cut tenderloins if we’re just going to give them steak knives?! 

Really gotta find an intern to pin this fiasco on.

Oh great the Foxes are leaving! Did we even get a picture of Kevin Day in his suit? Fuck it’s going to be a two intern firing kind of day isn’t it.

Someone get an eye on the Ravens before they try and grab some hapless idiot and sacrifice him to revive Riko Moriyama. If there’s even one more damn tabloid with a blurry photo of ‘Riko Moriyama’ to prove that his death was faked then heads will roll.

Honestly, the biopic that some Edgar Allan Film student is making about him seems pretty interesting. The ERC just wishes people would stop taking pics of the ‘lead actor’ and sending it to tabloids as proof that the King hadn’t died.

Fuck, the Foxes left before we got any decent pictures.

Well just great.

You’d think that after all these years of the Foxes leaving early they’d have learned that getting pictures as they arrive is the most important thing. 

Oh thank god it looks like the Trojans are starting to mediate the fight. You can always count on good ol’ Jeremy.

Fuck.

A Raven got too close to Jean Moreau and now Jeremy Knox has punched a Backliner. Great. The Trojans have formed ranks around Moreau but the kid’s just too damn tall. Someone has hit him in the head with an especially saucy meatball, he’s not injured, just confused. The Trojans are acting like it’s a gunshot he just took to the head.

The refreshment table just seemed to collapse in on itself and god wasn’t that just an allegory for this entire damn evening.

Anita Flores sighs as she watches yet another banquet go down in a riot. Honestly, she doesn’t know why they think these will end up differently. She finds herself often missing when she used to coordinate banquets for football teams.

She sighs and thinks about her least favorite interns.

Alex had been getting a bit too cocky lately. He’d make a good sacrifice.

***

(Three hours earlier)

The Palmetto State Foxes were on their way to the Winter Banquet. From what FF understood it was categorically always a 90% chance of a shitshow. Honestly FF was surprised that the percentage was that low.

There was a general tenseness in the air surrounding it that went beyond the Banquet’s propensity to become a fight. 

This year the Winter Banquet was going to be held up at the Binghamton Bearcat’s stadium. The nation knew the story from the news and FF knew the story from both that and from the Foxes themselves who were there at the time in bits and pieces.

Captain Neil had been kidnapped from this stadium and then he’d been tortured. FF hadn’t even been on the team when it had happened and he was anxious about Captain Neil going anywhere near the stadium.

“He was just…he was just gone.” Matt had said, “Neil was gone and Kevin said that he was probably dead when Andrew got back with his phone.” He continued as the two of them sat up late in the living room of the dorm one night back in early October.

“I thought Andrew was going to kill me y’know.” Kevin had said bottle in hand as FF tried to help him up the stairs because apparently he would 100% guarantee vomit if he was in the nausea box. “I thought that maybe I deserved it, since I didn’t help Neil. I just let him walk to his death.” He said and despite assurances that he wouldn’t puke FF’s shoes did not make it through that journey unscathed.

“We called…we called everywhere.” Nicky had stared up at the ceiling of his hospital room, “Andrew was adamant that he was still alive even though Kevin kept saying he was dead and that dead was the nicest thing he could hope for. I thought that was a terrible thing to say.” Nicky curled up closer to him.

“I told you, Andrew dragged me like I was nothing to get to Neil. I don’t think he even noticed the guns.” Wymack said to Abby as the two sat on the back porch during Aras’ going away party. “His eyes were on Neil.” he gestures towards where Andrew was watching Captain Neil wrestle with Matt.

“He looked like shit.” Aaron had said unable to stomach a diagram of different degrees of burn in his medical book. “At least he was alive.” He adds.

“A hero.” Andrew’s voice had been what could be considered teasing from Andrew, “Someone who looks like her.” he had said touching Captain Neil’s burn scars as they drove away from the stadium after coming back to pick FF up.

Captain Neil had come to him the day before they were set to drive out, “Take me somewhere no one will find me for an hour.” FF hadn’t quite understood what Captain Neil meant, he never hid anywhere. People just failed to realize where he was.

“Ok.” he says instead of trying to explain because being unnoticed means no one hid codes from him.

The roof of the Library wasn’t that much different from the roof of the Tower, only that it was taller and bigger. Captain Neil had shut his phone off after texting something, likely to Andrew, and then put it into his pocket.

FF settled on the roof, sat with his back against a heating vent to stay warm. Captain Neil settled next to him and they sat in silence. It felt like back at the start of this where Captain Neil and Andrew would come find him and just sit in silence. 

It was nice. He had missed-

“They act like the stadium is the thing that kidnapped me.” Captain Neil says.

Oh okay, quiet time is over apparently.

FF doesn’t say anything, figuring that nothing he could say right now would be the right thing and maybe Captain Neil just needs to talk through some stuff.

“That stadium is where I thought I’d have my last good memory.” Captain Neil explains, “I’m not scared of it and yet Andrew’s acting like I’ll die if I’m left alone for more than 2 seconds while we’re there. Every time we go there they all act like the most important thing in the world is that I get on that bus at the end of the night.” Captain Neil explains.

FF does remember how Andrew had grabbed Captain Neil after their October game up in Binghamton. How Captain Neil had complained bitterly but had gone after looking at Andrew.

“He’s dead!” Captain Neil exclaimed and FF couldn’t help but look over at the entrance and hoped no one heard them. “He’s dead! I watched him get shot! He can’t kidnap me again!” Captain Neil continued to yell and FF couldn’t help but worry that they’d be heard below, or worse bother a student trying to study below.

FF reached out and touched Captain Neil’s arm and bright blue eyes turned to him, “We’re on a library. Don’t yell.” FF said and Captain Neil looked at him incredulously.

Then he laughed. He laughed and laughed and FF was worried that he’d gone and broken his Captain.

He suddenly felt bad about his own bout of hysterical laughter a while back.

“Thanks Smith.” Captain Neil had said with a smile.

They had sat up there until it was dark and Andrew had started calling FF’s phone and Captain Neil took the call to say he was coming back.

Now they’re on the bus, dressed nicely, and on their way up to Binghamton’s stadium. Captain Neil and Andrew are hidden in the far back of the bus with Andrew looking far more like a watchdog than anything else the closer they got to their destination.

Captain Neil had seemed largely resigned to this treatment at this point. Eventually they were at the stadium and shown to their seats. They were sat across from the Trojans and it seemed like the rest of the team was quite pleased with that.

“Smith!” Captain Jeremy Knox is smiling at him, “Nice to see you again bud, nice name change too.” he says.

“It’s nice to see you too, Captain Jeremy.” FF says and doesn’t notice how Captain Neil’s head whips around to look at him.

“You two know each other?” Nicky asks looking between the two of them with excitement.

“Of course! We offered Smith a spot at the USC Trojans.” Captain Jeremy says and FF feels his stomach cramp at the memory.

That had been terrifying.

Coach Rheman and Captain Jeremy wanted to sit down to make their offer with his parents. He was still 17 and unable to sign anything legal without their permission. He’d tried to decline and move past them and Captain Jeremy had put the final nail in the coffin at the time for any thought that he could go to college on the power of his apparent Exy capabilities.

“I saw in your file that you have brothers! USC always gives a second look at student applicants who already have siblings in the university. You could go to school with your brothers!” he had smiled brightly like he wasn’t issuing FF one of the most terrifying threats he’d ever heard in his entire life.

He had given the firmest ‘No thank you, I’m not interested in playing Exy in college.’ he could and was running to his Grandma’s to breath into a bag for twenty minutes.

“I see you changed your mind about playing Exy in college.” Captain Jeremy said with the same smile that still feels like a threat.

“Coach Wymack and Captain Dan were convincing.” he says and looks to see if there’s any way he can move further away from Captain Jeremy’s attention.

“Can I ask what convinced you to be a Fox?” Captain Jeremy asks, “I’m always trying to see what support we should be offering. I found out last year that we missed out on Andrew because we didn’t offer spots to Aaron or Nicky. I thought since you had brothers that’d be the thing that got you.” Captain Jeremy leans across the table but stops when he notices the Foxes all tense. “Whoa, what’s up?” he asks.

Jean Moreau sighs from next to Captain Jeremy, “Not everyone wants to go to college with their family, Jeremy.” Jean says, “Did it not cross your mind that he changed his entire name?” he asks with a raised brow.

Jeremy blinks, “Oh,” he looks at FF, “I guess that wasn’t the right thing to offer.” he says leaning back in his chair.

“I guess I should thank you for offering that?” Nicky says wryly before turning to look at FF, “You look better in orange anyways.” he says.

“Thank you Nicky.” FF returns loyally.

The banquet gets started shortly afterwards. Food is served. The bar is opened. People are talking. FF finds himself relaxing the longer the conversations around him go on. Matt is talking with a backliner on the Trojan line named Todd in good cheer. Captain Neil, Kevin, and Jean are all talking about the latest updates with Ichirou in French with the occasional gesture towards FF. Jean Moreau looks at him with a raised eyebrow but gives him a single nod when Captain Neil explains what happened.

Jeremy is chatting with Jack and even Jack was finding it hard to maintain his usual level of rudeness in the face of such unbridled positive energy. Nicky was talking with Katelyn and Alvarez. Aaron was chatting with a fellow med student college athlete who was an offensive dealer. 

It was shaping up to be a good night.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Just watched episode fourrrr thoughts below the cut

I AM IN SHOCK

DEAR LORD

Okay I had to write in a notebook this time bc my phone was running out and Y’ALL I filled/nearly filled six pages so omg - transcribed below:

‘Paint the town blue’ -> another Jinx-centric episode? Ohhhh I get it now - brilliant & fascinating

Oh, kiddo 💔

Already understanding more of the intro better, which is fun

MADDIE AND CAITLYN ARE TOU KIDDING ME!?

How long has it been?? I was expecting a time skip but…

“Sharp as sharper daggers” “the other grey corner” gigglinggg - is this acc a kid’s game or something? OH IT IS! That’s freaking adorable

[NOTE: I was convinced for part of this the kid’s name was Ishwa and then I thought it was Isha so I swap a bit in this but I think when I turned the subtitles on towards the end Jinx said Isha]

I love Ishwa omg this is so cute but my heart is so broken

OH! Jinx is ‘dead’? This is fascinating - how long HAS it been?

Damn I forgot just how many people went missing 💔

This is a setup right? Someone else using the Jinx persona?

-> ISHWA!!!??? Oh baby 💔

CAIT AND JINX SHARED REFLECTION OMG SCREAMING

“You don’t trust me” “the blade cuts both ways”

“Why is peace always the justification for violence?” -> my girl’s still in there somewhere come on Caittttttt

Where’s Vi? I’m worried about her

Oh ffs Salos is talking again please shut up

Omg the miracle healer is Viktor isn’t it?

ISHWA WEARING THE HAT W THE GOGGLES omg

Aw 💔

Jinx my heart is so broken

God… all of this is just so… so… *much*, you know? 

WOAH erasing the eyes from Caitlyn propaganda ugh this is so brilliant & so fascinating

The iconisation of Jinx… I wanna study it under a microscope

ISHWA baby oh sweetheart you don’t deserve to get caught up this no-one does

Noooooo sweetie you don’t - oh god oh god

Is that…? It can’t be……?

Sevika - JINX oh my poos sweet darling. God I thought Sevika might be in some danger for a minute there

Oh Isha Isha Isha

THIS IS INSANE

I adore that Jinx getting back into the game is to save Isha but she might not be about to like what she finds…

“You expect me to believe Jinx wears pants like that” helpppppp

Lmao loving the prosthetic slow middle finger

Recognition between Sevika and Amassa? Maybe?

The iconisation of Jinx, again, is utterly fascinating and although it holds weight in a different way this touching her shoulders makes me think of the Hunger Games scene where a stranger in the Capitol reaches out to touch Katniss as she walks by

Ambessa!?

Ishaaaaa omg these two are so cute my heart ACHES

Oh boy here we go…

My brain has been saying Vander for a while now and I kind of hope it’s wrong bc I will CRY

Oh god they were freed into a massacre

Sevika on the steps holding Isha… what a powerful image

OH SHIT I was RIGHT!!??

I’M CRYING

[ganondoodle]

so, doing this as an extra post bc i dont want to spam op nor invite more disaster into their post (sorry)

(i get annoyed, i get frustrated, but i rarely get pissed off, so if this sounds aggressive to you, it is; i have had enough of arguing with people -even if most of that arguing has happened on twitter-)

someone had replied (and later apparently deleted) something along the lines of "well zelda wanted to restore hyrule at the end of botw and what is so bad about ganondorf always being the bad guy in the way that he is?"

so first off, while i know hyrule and KINGDOM of hyrule is often used as an equally interchangeable word to refer to the world there, i dont think she meant the kingdom or its or its monarchy when she said that (does she? i dont have the end in my head rn and pretty sure its a lil different than english anyway) and much more the LAND of hyrule, its still in shambles even if people have found ways to live with it- that is an interpretation of me mostly, you can think what you want in that regard idc

secondly .... im not gonna get into that rant bc you cannot be seriosuly asking what is bad about how ganondorf is presented, treated in the games (espeically in totk) and his role and "writing" (oh geez i dont know maybe all the racism and stereotypes?? also, frankly boring ass writing, if your villain can be replaced by a cloud of toxic goo incapable of speech and nothing would change except saving money for voice actors that dont fit the role that is not a great look- hes never gotten much but totk is a new low)

then theres this reply

astro-shark3113 replied: "You're kidding right? If she cared about reinstating the monarchy then why is the castle still in disrepair after five years? Why does she become a teacher and live in a cottage with her boyfriend instead of taking on duties as princess? She clearly wants to help people and be a leader but she can do that without wanting to be a Queen. Please be real"

i am not kidding and i AM being real, i think you need to look at the game without your rose tinted glasses for a second; the castle is still in ruin? what the hell do you expect, theres no soldiers and very few servants left, repairing anything is quite impossible in that time and frankly not a priority (not proof of her not caring lol) also there is a plan for it at the very least given the camps with the hyrule crest all over it in the ruins of castle town- we dont SEE her as a teacher, or living a "normal" life, that happens in between the game, its flavor text, what HAPPENS in the game is her being taught a lessson on who she needs to be and what hyrule needs to be (pretty in your face too, she gets sent to paradise past of the "first" king that is some supposedly godly thing from the HEAVENS and watches him and his queen die at the hands of the eviiil guy, the last scene in the game mimics perfectly the scene where everyone that god king got under his rule swears undying loyalty to her ffs); she does live in that house, but what other option is there, set up camp in the collapsing throne room all alone?? nigh everyone from that time is long dead and the only one she actually knows is link who happens to have a house (bc impa doesnt care i guess idk), with her ""boyfriend"" is also interesting, a "boyfriend" that apparently is locked in the basement, lives in the woods or straight up dematerlializes when theres no big bad in need of stabbing bc why the hell does no one fucking know him in hateno??? not even the kids that come to the house EVERY SINGLE DAY?? and taking on duties as a princess, she very much does? just bc she doesnt get physically carried around in a castle doesnt mean she isnt doing royal stuff (also, again, that happens BETWEEN the games, not actually in totk), she still sees herself as the princess, everyone calls her that, she herself calls herself that (if the memorial stones are anything to go by) and everyone listens to the most overtly stupid and nonsensical stuff that zelda puppet says (even her friends follow that order without even asking back???) after over 100 years of there not being a kingdom as such its pretty weird how everyone immediately, even the ones not alive for the calamity event, snaps into blindly following her orders

"she can still lead without being a queen", did we play the same game?? totk? TEARS of the KINGDOM?? (its zeldas tears, she IS the kingdom) that game?? the game couldnt be more directly telling you that its whole point is that royal family holy and good and how much everyone has to sacrifice to uphold the holy kingdom bc its the only thing that keeps evil man from overtaking it!! including turnign herself into a farmable, glorified stone pedestal for the entirety of the actual game and then that sacrifice not meanign shit bc she just gets deus ex machina'd back (i didnt need her to stay a dragon, though it would have been the better choice if she still didnt get an active part in the game i would kill for her to have been a capable companion instead of the stupid ghost sages, and you dont even get to actually do anything for it, it just happens), not even the nuclear pebble is lost, how great! she and everyone else that is a leader of their people has a nuclear pebble now!! they will not let a bad evil man be a threat ever again!! like the point to bring her back in that utterly unsatisfying way is that otherwise the royal line wouldnt exist anymore, its a blessing of her ancient ancestors!! woohooo!!

and the thing is, i LIKE botw zelda, i liked her character, that she wasnt the typically maiden princessy type, her struggle (even if i find the way she unlocked her powers lame), i do NOT like totk zelda, after the intro of the game she is a princessy maiden standing prettily at the side of the god king that rules the only thing keeping evil at bay, the level of how much totk disrespects her makes me mad on her behalf but i have ranted about that alone enough as well

and with this i am DONE talking about this game, i have ranted so much about it, made my points carefully clear over and over, said that i dont have the nerves left to be nice anymore about it given how much shit alone on twitter i had to live through just bc i dared mildly critisizing the damn game, if you comment some snarky "be real" thing again im just gonna go straight to blockign people bc i am done with this

[valla-chan]

Was looking at that recent 'girlhood is a spectrum' post and it's wild how common it is for trans women to lose like huge chunks of memories from when they were a kid due to such strong detachment. I assumed this was a lot less common than it is but it's also quite validating in a way.

The level of memory I have for my childhood is never very strong but never totally gone either, I have all the resulting mental affects and hobbies and speech patterns and interests and stuff still, and I do strongly remember playing various games and whatnot but a lot of IRL occurrences are either wiped or hold no emotional significance for me. A lot of photos I remember the photo being taken or shown or edited but I don't remember how I felt or being at that location unless I've been back there more recently.

I really dont think cis ppl understand that growing up trans basically means that your entire sense of self and belonging in the world is disrupted from the moment you are old enough to be aware of your own body and social role?

I would say "I don't know why it feels so traumatic to grow up this way" but I think that realistically I've heard enough people talk about it that I kinda do now, which is that when it comes to gender roles, trans women are basically considered the most undesirable thing you can be, especially when being "male" is always seemingly on the table of possibilities of how to be, and that is basically the most desirable role for others to put you in. And being that basically requires that you throw away all personhood as you were meant to be and want to be, in favor of causing no waves.

And it's like... That shit never really goes away for a huge chunk of your life? As a kid I wasn't even aware I was even doing it! but looking back it feels so intentional, that even though I didn't know the reason, the mechanisms that enforce masculinity and suppress femininity were acting up on me from day one. And you subconsciously have this feeling that something is wrong but it's never validated, never discussed, rarely even ever made aware of let alone FELT, ffs.

I felt like an observer for my life, a pair of eyes that would eventually turn into a person, or maybe not... And I loved activities where my self could be expressed through things I Did rather than who I Was. Providing thongs for others to make them happy, creating content on the early web, being good at school and getting good grades, etc etc... you learn to Be what you Do, you learn to Be what you are Not, you learn to Hate what you Are.

And I really do mean that, I really did learn to hate what I was, iirc! It seems all too common that trans women would have an interest in women's culture, such as fashion, female puberty, sex appeal, identity, anything that could be put through a male-enough lens to pass as something normal to other males in your peer group and family, even if done with this constant layer of irony and uncertainty and emptiness...

And now it feels like that was all a dead end. The person I do remember being, from when I dig deep into what I do remember, is basically not a lot like me outside of hobbies/interests and humor and masking.

Really who I am now is actually based on the complete opposite of who I was as a kid, which is to say, I took everything I liked that I wasn't socially allowed to, and I shoved that onto an abstracted female character in my brain for safekeeping.

When I look back even harder I remember that I even had alternate account for her online which I would use to have conversations with myself or my friends to see how it was to give these thoughts a voice or something. It's hard to recall the reason, except I guess, I suppose, that there was no outlet; no other way for these ideas to escape without driving me crazy since I didn't know transition was even possible let alone an option for little personless me, how am I supposed to adapt my identity if I don't have one? (Checkmate liberals)

And I guess ultimately it's all been said by people more eloquent than me, it's all been gone over in my own head already, but I think everyone's story is worth something, and I need to learn to value my own for what it is. I wish that I could learn more from what I was crushing down and putting aside onto fake characters and projecting onto others... Maybe more so than learning, id like to experience it. But there's no real way to go back to childhood, let alone one that I made up to cope with my real one, despite my real one being pretty damn cushy on the outside (aside from some shit but this post is not about Fathers and whatnot)

Cause right now I feel like I don't really have a relevant childhood to point back to or take comfort in, aside from origins of hobbies and other material interests. It's not comforting. No matter how many facts and images I do manage to dredge up, I don't Feel it. Even the sweetest memories I can fish up actually hold... basically no emotion. I've done shrooms, and seen my friends access and address pivotal moments of.their childhood while tripping, and coming out the other end refreshed. For me it's just blank slate, but I still feel like a kid. (Fulfilling in its own way yeah, but 2 bad trips has deterred me from going back to that for quite some time now.)

Now I guess I'm at the point where this is something I become aware of quite often and feel quite sad over. Something akin to derealization took a lot of my early 20s as well, and with all these things combined, I feel like I don't really know how I got here- despite the fact that I can trace it back through events and factually say, yeah, that's how it all went down. I've seen those services where you can upload childhood photos and have them photoshopped to be the opposite gender in order to help relive dysphoria over past... And I won't lie I have considered it, just to see! But it would be fake... It would be like acknowledging that I am fake, or something. Or that I literally come from a rebound of suppressed emotions that boiled over, rather than actual lived experiences (once again excluding most hobbies cause those are tried and true. Keep feeling the need to put this disclaimer as it it matters.)

And like, I dont want to be fake. I don't even really want to be trans, I don't think I ever wanted to be, I just wanted to be myself from the get-go. I personally subscribe both to born in the wrong body and identity changed over time cause realistically it's like, both? There was no belonging in my body, only crude fascination in what a mess everything was; how nothing seemed to align to anything I was supposed to be, despite never once actually realizing that for myself. For a long time that being funny was enough to get me by.

So I guess to make this post worthwhile, because I desperately want to ask this:

How do y'all cope? This is not rhetorical, btw. How do fellow trans ppl, esp transfems but really including any mostly fully transitioned person, deal with this feeling of not really having a past or at least one that feels applicable? How do you rationalize and happily exist with the knowledge that your personal development happened through made up characters and unassuming daydreams? How do you learn to connect and live your younger self when you hated him (/her) even while being them, and who actively sabotaged your own existence for safety reasons?

I feel like I've had about 5 years out of my 25 to get up to speed on what type of person I am, as to not waste any more of my youth before it's gone. I feel like I should have had 2 decades of this like everyone else; like my age suggests. I feel like I got cheated out of experiencing life as a human being that had time to develop and find myself before having to worry about money and independence and adulthood.

I have an ask sitting in my askbox asking about my favorite story from highschool and I would absolutely love to tell a story but it wouldn't be a story about me. I don't have that many stories about me. I don't know what to talk about when people talk. How do y'all cope with the feeling of it? Can you? How do you be okay with having childhood toys that mean something to you but you can't recall moments with them? How do you love your family to that normal level when you only remember key events? How do you come to terms with never having been to school as yourself? How does any of this ever get resolved??? I cannot bear to keep wishing and yearning to be present in my own past without being vocal about it, how do you do it y'all???

Hope you liked the random images from my phone, I wanted to make this post more fun to read than a giant text wall lol. Happy holidays and good luck to all people who are struggling to reconcile identity, self, family, and this time of year!

Please reblog, this may be a personal post but I am hoping it connected ya with others!

[yakumtsaki]

Continuing to part 2, part 1 here!

Laksmhi gives us Gallagher Newson and they have 3 bolts! I've been playing the Tinkers because Melody is like 150yo and it'd be too sad to have them outlive their only kid. They both wanted a baby but were a few days from elderhood so I had them foster the Newsons in their giant house! It's such a wholesome household to play, like literally the exact opposite of this one.

Gallagher is super cute and I'd normally consider him for spouse but thanks to Barth's ridic 20 woohoo LTW all we want here is to get our first kiss and bounce. Will we do it???

-NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT🐺

YOU. GTFO RIGHT NOW

-NOT A CHANCE, I'M HERE TO PICK UP MY OLD HOBBY OF COCKBLOCKING🐺

-And we're here to help! -The wolf that is, not our son!

FFS. Despite all this malicious sabotage-

-which at some point included Liz playing catch with the wolf, which Jojo only got him to do after like 30 years-

-this went really well! Not Felina-Meadow tier well, but well for Barth subterranean standards..

..Gallagher even got a crush on him from one little flirt! Cute!

We take our date Downtown to seal the deal, everything is going great-

-Bartholomew is pulling these impressive moves.. and then.. FOR NO DISCERNIBLE REASON..

I CURSE YOU, SHAJAR'S PERSONALITY PANEL. I CURSE YOU TO DAMNATION

-How dare you not accept my flirting! -YOU JUST PUT ME IN A HEADLOCK, FREAK -What's your point!

-Look at these shameless idiots dancing! Gross! I'd have to be like.. 200% drunker than I am right now to even consider it! -You're drunk?? -You're not?? Man if I was a broke orphan I'd be drunk all the time. Which I am. Drunk all the time, I mean, not a broke orphan. -I'm outta here. -WHAT! WHY!

Welp, we still got our first kiss thanks to the automated goodbye kiss thing that I finally have to get the mod that disables it because it pisses me off. But whatever, a win all around!

-Hi, Grandpa >:( -What's wrong, Bartholomew? -I WISH I WAS DEAD

-This is exactly what I was worried about when your mother married into that trash family, look at you.. -What! There's nothing wrong with me! -Nothing? Really?? The correct form is 'I wish I WERE dead'! -WHO CARES -Clearly not your dimwitted, Union-gene inflicted self! -OH THAT'S IT, GET READY TO RUMBLE

-I can't believe Grandpa Ti-Ning beat me up! This is the worst day of my life!

At least you have Jimbo!

-Yes, yes I do.. It'd definitely make me feel better seeing the shock and betrayal in his eyes as I choke him to death.. -Ha, like you can get your tiny hands around my thick-ass neck, pussyboi, I'll bite your entire head off! Now shut up and clean off this manure I've been rolling in, and look at me in the eyes while you do it!! -..I need a drink.

Yes you do, I mean if this is how your life is gonna go you might as well be drunk.

Sandy has found a new dog bestie in Veronica to the point she completely missed work to stay and play with her-

-while iVan is team Wendi!

-𝙸 𝙶𝙴𝚃 𝙸𝚃, 𝚆𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙸; 𝙸 𝚃𝙾𝙾 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝙴𝙽𝙶𝙰𝙶𝙴𝙳 𝙸𝙽 𝙰 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙱𝙸𝙳𝙳𝙴𝙽 𝙸𝙽𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙲𝙸𝙴𝚂 𝙻𝙾𝚅𝙴 𝙰𝙵𝙵𝙰𝙸𝚁;

-𝙵𝚄𝙲𝙺 𝚈𝙾𝚄, 𝚂𝙰𝙽𝙳𝚈, 𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙱𝙾 𝙱𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙽𝙶𝚂 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝚆𝙴𝙽𝙳𝚈; -JI̸M̵BO B̴E̶L̴O̶N̴G̸S W̴I̷T̵H V̵E̸R̷O̵N̵IC̷A̶, Y̴O̵U̶ AN̷D̷ YO̵U̵R̵ C̷A̵T AR̸E B̵O̴T̶H PE̴RV̶E̷RT̵S🧟‍♀️

-Forget it, Jim, it's Uniontown.

As I'm intently watching the billionth iVan-Sandy fight the fighting window pops up again-

-and sure enough, THIS BETTE/JOAN SHIT HAS ESCALATED. I 1000% blame Barflina.

Bruh. Not only did Sophie lose-

-but her disloyal hoe wife immediately went to chat with Liz after! SHAJAR FFS

-What! I'm allowed to socialize with whoever I want and I happen to like Liz! It's not because I have some deep-seated resentments toward Sophie or anything!

It's ok, Soph, you'll always have your pets💛

-And my pets will have Eliza's heart for dinner💛

Can't blame you💛

It's officially time to fuck off for college as there's some glitched bill on the lot and we got repo'ed despite not owing anything! Gross!

-HA! I TAKE YOUR POOL LIGHT. I TAKE IT

For a moment I thought you were taking Glitched Butler #7!

You know what, take Shajar while you're here. BITCH FFS

-What!

You've talked more to Liz since she beat up Sophie than you have the entire time you've known her!

-That's a complete coincidence!

Ya well when you get fed to the dogs it'll be a complete coincidence too!

Alright we're outta here, college time for Barflina. Can't say I'm looking forward to it!

-Anything to get me into Meadow's arms and away from Grandma Victoria's batshit ghost!

-THAT URN-SMASHING BRAT IS NOT WINNING THE HEIRSHIP AS LONG AS I LIVE👻

Vic, I don't know how to tell you this, but you are not currently living. Well, I guess you metaphorically ~live through~ Barflina.

-GROSS. I'D RATHER BE DEAD👻

See you at La Fiesta!

[toxifoxx]

ok serious thoughts on the fnaf movie this time. they're a little scattered but i did just see it so i gotta think on it some more before i give like an actually structured review. but immediate thoughts post-viewing:

i had fun with the movie! i thought it was enjoyable. was hoping for at LEAST a little more blood (i really wanted to see william fucking explode into blood for one) but i knew there wasn't gonna be much since its pg13. it wasn't scary like in the slightest except for 1 jumpscare that almost kind of got me but i wish they set up the atmosphere a little bit more.

MAJOR GRIPE. i hate that vanessa is related to william. please stop retconning the afton family scott pretty please. give that man his dead children back. i seriously seriously love the "man goes fucked up sicko mode because of his grief" trope but alas.

i think that the pacing is NOTTTT very good at all. william needed more screen time 100% and there wasn't that great of a build up to the climax. maybe its more impactful to people who didn't already know that steve is william, but i'd wager that they're probably like HUH WHUH??? at that reveal because its not really. set up that much. and yes im biased because i fucking love william ok.

i think matthew lillard did a great job, BUT... we barely got to see him at all! and, especially with the "i always come back line..." i cringed a little bit man. like what are you coming back from? you haven't died yet man. there's nothing to come back from yet tf are you yappin about. it felt like it was really shoved in there honestly. we DESPERATELY needed to see more of him! in fact, most of the characters needed more set up! like ok... mike lost his brother? why should i care. mike is gonna lose his sister? why should i care tho?? these kids died but they dont really seem like they care too much about being dead either so whats the big deal.

AND WHY DIDN'T THE KIDS HAVE BEEF WITH WILLIAM/THE YELLOW RABBIT. THEY CLEARLY WERE SHOWN TO KNOW HE KILLED THEM, BUT THEY DON'T TURN ON HIM UNTIL ABBY PUTS UP HER SHITTY LIL DRAWING? FOR REAL????? WHY? + THEY DONT EVEN GET NAMED AT ALL. THE MOVIE CARES SO LITTLE ABOUT THE KIDS AND YET THEY DONT EVEN ALLOCATE THAT TIME TO AFTON EITHER. THEY FUMBLED BOTH SIDES!

also a lot of stuff just kind of isn't resolved? like the mike vs his aunt thing. is his aunt dead or...? + what was the fucking freddy saw trap thing that doesn't get explained at all. did the police not see that or does william just lug that thing in and out of the building constantly. what's it even for.

im also curious about some things. whats up with that kid who had a midnight motorist shirt. whats up with the other random springlock animatronic that is never named nor do we get a full look at. Where's Henry. are we just straight up ditching henry this time around?

i came into this knowing it wouldn't be lore accurate nor gory because of the rating but ugh. Ughhhh. can we please settle on one fnaf timeline to be canon its been almost 10 years we don't needa be playing like this anymore bro. i want to see the afton family for REAL show me cc getting his fuckin head chomped off or elizabeth getting snatched. give us literally any of the original missing children give us cassidy or something. like even in the silver eyes at least we got henry ffs! it just makes me a little sad knowing that one of the rejected scripts WAS accurate to the game lore.

shout out to my homie @yellowbutterbear for seeing the movie with me and discussing this stuff with me 🔥

6/10 not enough william afton moaning and whimpering AMEN!!!

[storiesofsvu]

happy thursday hoes. time for some law and some order

Well fuck…what an opening..

“but there are definitely still traces of blood” girl… that hammer is COATED wtf…

I would like to point out that the way Kate runs her squad is the legit way that squads run. The CO (whether it be captain, lieutenant or sarge) is gonna stay in the office, they’re piled up with paperwork, the brass, putting out fires, they’re not out in the field…. Like svu. Ugh. I’m already not prepared for svu tonight, I’ve been watching through velasco’s eps and his older seasons were so good, esp compared to this year…

So we’re really doing this Ukraine surrogate/adoption plot line again, hey?

(I mean it is slightly different so far but like, it’s the same idea, right lol)

Samantha crushing it in the wardrobe dept as per usual

I like this new DA so much more than mccoy. Sorry not sorry.

I haven’t been paying too much attention to what’s going on (surprise) BUT, wtf does this case have to do with the grand jury that was taking place at the beg of the ep? With the girl all “he doesn’t know I’m here, right?” like, that girl was the murder vic? Or am I on crack? What is the connection?!

Uugggh… saaaammm my baby just needs a HUUUGGG

Okay, im actively not watching Toronto, see ya in an hour for svu.

Starting off with some personal, at home comfort. This is what we’ve been asking for forever (now give us rollisi at home pls).

OHHH GOD WHY ARE WE ALREADY BACK TO THE MADDIE SHIT FFS.

“I googled you”

Oh booooyyy are we in for it now. HOW MUCH DOES NOAH KNOW?! CAUSE LORD KNOWS HE PROBABLY FELL DOWN A PIT OF NEWS ARTICLES.

NO

WHY

WE DO NOT NEED TO BRING WL BACK TO THIS SHIT LET US HAVE SOME PEACE PLS.

Okay so we finally did get noah discovering where he came from. Woof.

Olivia kinda sucks at parenting sometimes. Like… he’s a kid, he’s an *adopted* kid who already knows about gramma Sheila and ellie… he’s gonna be curious, he’s gonna wonder, also what kid HASN’T snooped through their parents private things? Like yeah it’s not ideal… it’d be best for him to ask you a question and you slowly reveal into things or whatever but we all know she just would’ve shut him down right away anyways.

Lowkey love those heart lights in noahs room, ngl.

I’m not gonna lie. If it was olivia I’d be more concerned about him knowing/reading about William lewis and all the shit that went down than finding out johnny d was his dad…

You know what I think? I think this would be a great time to call you bestie amanda and have her over for a bottle of wine while you talk this through and see what jessie knows about her dad/how amanda’s gonna approach that. Also like, does billie just think sonny’s her dad or does she know? LOL. But will that happen? Obviously not.

Okay you know what, carisi is the second best bet so I’ll take this.

Olivia really needs to catch a fucking break

Carisi you sit like a whore. But we already knew that.

Is there not a way to trace this call? Or like, I know the phone is about to die but like…find my iphone even works on dead phones…use the stepmoms phone rn to find out where she is. Easy fix. Use your brains.

Man… parents on these shows are always so fucking trusting of their kids and they think they know everything about them. Like...what world are we living in?

Awweeee lil carisi back in cop mode!

Girl… you barely looked in that one, that’s not clear

Me: where do I know this actor playing the step mom from?

Checks imbd: ah. She’s been on svu as a diff character before. Of course.

We love a good parent who immediately offers up all their money to pay ransom of their kids bff with no question.

I swear to god it wasn’t raining 5 seconds ago.. I get that these are likely filmed on diff days but that really came outta nowhere

Olivia’s drenched and velasco’s barely wet… wtf lol

Oh god she’s really about to go feral isn’t she?  Like, even velasco’s nervous af.

That’s exactly what I knew he was gonna say. Like, liv should’ve just said she was dead.

Okay what about the other three perps? Where are they?

JESUS FUCK. Velasco… be mean to me. yell at me.. degrade me. jfc.

Okay I love that when she told Velasco to put the perp in her car he was all “uh… that a good idea boss?” kinda unsure thing but as soon as she started going feral he was just all “yup. Okay. I know how to do this.” And was totally on board. That’s my boi

“youre lucky im not in IAB anymore” damn right bitch.

That’s a cozy ass looking sweater liv has on and I want it

He already knows about ellie…why are we starting there?

I can’t wait until this conversation sparks a “hey… can we go see grama Sheila? Is she still sick?” and liv THEN has to explain that gramma Sheila is in fact in JAIL because she kidnapped him

Okay… that episode was honestly really good. It was a nice balance of the at home/personal lives and the case.

OC time.

Pls god have a last time on cause I do not remember what was happening… baby bro joe was doing heroine? That’s all I remember

Is this his apartment or elliots apt? it looks similar but also I like it better lol.

Bernie is a blessing to this show.

Elliot all “an intervention?” as if they didn’t host one for him like two years ago?

Also I JUST watched the ep with Muncy’s brother this week and that actor is baby boy joe stabler so this is throwing me off.

Is this an apt or a hotel? CAUSE ITS GORGEOUS!! HOW TF ARE THESE STABLER MEN AFFORDING THIS SHIT IN NYC?!

 “we don’t do that…” jet. Another fucking legend on this show

SO glad Bell’s back.

Clearly im not paying attention to this ep in case anyone’s wondering (and yes, it is because it’s a stabler ep…)

Leave it to stabler to be there less than 5 mins before beating someone

OH MY GODDDDD BELL LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD IN THAT BLUE SHIRT

Thank god bell had bobby with her cause homegirl had a cane last week, there’d be no way she should be on a foot chase rn. Lol

Omg jet and bobby UC yet AGAIN. I fucking love it.

Jet being absolutely the person that likely annoys the hell outta her, love that. 

[murfpersonalblog]

Btw, I'm gonna save my questions about book plots because I sent you something about Prince Lestat and then I went to Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis and I don't even know what to think anymore. 🤔🤷‍♀️😅 When I finish Blood Communion and Interview With the Vampire I can come back with them lol. Now, I don't know if I asked it before and if I did, I'm sorry and you can just send me the link instead of answering again, but who are your favorite Anne Rice characters and why? How do you feel about the show? And you said you don't like human vampires as much, but is it just about their physical characteristics or do you also prefer when they aren't as emotional and conflicted as Anne's/IWTV's?

LOL, no worries--you didn't ask about characters before. Imma ask YOU the same questions, once you've finished all the books, so be prepared! 😈

My fave AR characters are:

🧛 Fave (Male) Vampire - Armand: This boy's been through SO MUCH misery, and yet he's still standing strong as THE boogeyman of rogue vampires, what an icon. I love that he's SMART--despite being an adolescent, Armand's never been stupid. He's got a genre savvy ruthlessness to him, seeing & noticing things that tend to fly over the heads of other people (*cough* Lestat *cough*). Granted, sometimes it makes him look like a cruel a-hole (a la the Replimoids); but other times he's the only sane one in the room (a la Rhoshamandes). But it's just like Claudia--kids are just more in-tune to things than adults are.

🧛‍♀️ Fave (Female) Vampire - Claudia: She creeps me out, and I love her for it. I couldn't handle being in a 5-year old's body, even when I was 5; and that was just for a year, let alone 60+. I'd've killed EVERYONE. I love how Claudia's IQ is through the roof, and how much she makes Lestat, this grown effing man, look like an utter toddler. It's hilarious. She's just following him around, staring at him him silently, and he's like LOUIS, SAVE MEEE~! XD She's such a BAMF. AR doesn't tend to write women very well, but she writes children REALLY well, esp. Claudia. Omfg what an incredible character.

👻 Fave Ghost/Spirit - Azriel (Servant of the Bones): TRAGIC, what happened to him. It's hilarious to see how although he and Lasher have very similar origins, Azriel didn't turn into a psychotic rapist sadistic eugenicist. Azriel actually tries to help SAVE the world and HELP people, despite all the curses put on him, and the ways he was demonized. He's a literal angel; he just so happens to also be a dead man, lol.

🧙‍♀️ Fave witch/psychic - Michael Curry (Mayfairs): THOR WITH HIS HAMMER before Marvel was cool! My favorite AR character, PERIOD; from my fave AR book, PERIOD. He's a blue collar architect with a scholar's soul and an aristocrat's aesthetics. He loves renovating fancy Victorian houses, and is secretly in love with tweed, even as he schleps around in his dirty construction-worker clothes. So many contradictions! He's got a big heart, and he works with his hands--so OF COURSE after his near-death experience you find out he's an empath/psychic who can feel emotions through his fingertips. And of COURSE he falls in love with a woman who just so happens to have inherited a slightly run-down Victorian mansion in the same city where he grew up as a kid, in THAT house where he always thought he saw a strange man looking at him him who no one else could see.... SUCH a perfect setup, and AMC effing BLEW IT. Sure, Cirprien Grieve is cool, he's one of the best characters in that dumpster fire of a show, but he's got NOTHING on Michael.

🧬 Fave Taltos - Ashlar (Taltos): Getting his backstory was SO cool. LEAGUES more interesting than Lasher's, cuz Ashlar just KNOWS more. He's lived A LOT longer, and he never lost his empathy & loving heart. He makes toy dolls for a living, ffs. I felt so bad for him, living all alone cuz people think he's a freak, with his strange height & hands & feet & eating habits. I would've happily been his Morrigan (so long as I had the extra chromosome, ofc, LOL).

👽 Fave Replimoid - Kapetria (PL Trilogy): I hate when AR writes Black people; esp. Black women. Even Merrick got on my nerves; and the way AR wrote about her was gross, fetishized by David & Aaron as if all she was good for was to be lusted after for her body or exploited for her magic. But Kapetria's an alien, so she's just way cooler & more interesting--NO ONE is disrespecting her, unless they want a syringe stabbed in their effing eyeball.

🐺 Fave werewolf/morphenkinder - Margon: I just love when AR has these primordial beings who've lived for 10,000+ years and have seen the world when it was young and humans were all still swinging from trees and nature was full of magic and the immortals lived in innocent harmony before The Cataclysm Effed Everything Up, And Now I Am The Only One Left To Tell The Tale Of My People. I fall for it every time, and Margon's another one.

👭🏻 Fave Twin - Mekare: The strong silent type, even though ironically back when she still had her tongue she was the talkative charismatic Alpha type twin. Mekare's just about that action; everyone else was busy tryna talk to Akasha, all democratic & diplomatic--but all Mekare had for her was STRAIGHT HANDS. You love to see it.

[scentofdriedflowers]

I like the start of the episode but is she gonna go all meredith grey pov thing all the episodes now? it's not bad bad tho just asking

And I knew the possibilities were low but a little hope was still there, instead they really went there and called the baby Nicky uuughh, that baby is adorable, so so cute but a big nope for the name, I feel like they went with their idea and didn't ask Kelli and Peter I fear, she wouldn't have gone there I believe, fuck DG, also who the hell call their kid their ex name?! both of them! Carisi ex was Nicole, Amanda had a fwb situationship with Nick and yeah call him ex is definitely not it lol, but still?? weird af. Carisi has also a cousin called Nikki??! something different maybe?? especially if it stands for Dominick for me, like again? a third? it's so old 'patriarchal' school I don't like it, it's 2024. For me there's no way Amanda and Sonny would have gone for that. This is why I wanted a girl, I feared they were gonna go there and look, they did. Give him is own name. Anywayyyyy baby name rant over, sorry not sorry I needed to get it off my chest. I'm cool now lol.... -ish. Anyway that baby is the cutest tho, he's so them, good choice in casting! let's see how the eyes evolve tho 😂 did they look blue? i don't remember, with both parents with blue eyes he gotta have blue eyes, 1% of mayyybe green but brown? it gotta be very very very rare.

Also tho, why did they cut half the baptism scene and there was NO SIGHT of the girls???! like why the hell do you call them to be there in both scenes, film them and then you cut them out?? also rude? 3 seconds of their back running doesn't count. but oh Noah had to go on a tangent about the baby, at least this time he didn't interrupt the scene. I wanted the girls to talk about their brother, a 'dad' line maybe, a family of 5 little scene at the party. We got more bts than product filmed ffs. At least we got a damn good Rollisi scene😍😍 I missed them soooo much it's been a year without them. To bad they had spoiled all the scene already. I miss them already. One good thing is, if they're going with Rollins-Carisi I love it?! I always prefer when they include both names especially in het relationships, and not making it all about the man, I like 'Rollins', Amanda made her name a good one she fought to be better and defy the legacy of her father name, I would hate to lose it.

Thankfully! Amanda Rollins and the Rollivia scene saved the episode, I absolutely adored LOVED their scene, Amanda first concern: How is Liv 😭😭 and Liv opens up only with her😭, this kind of talk was like their usual talks in her office, when Amanda would knock, come in, ask how she was and the talk would unravel. I missed this. And here as soon as she started talking about the case Amanda went into detective mode, -investigating thinking face activated-! adfghjkljhgfdsfghjk the OUR PERP, Liv face 😂, her 'when are you coming back' face lol. Also 'Don't make me miss you more than I already do' I'm dead! we all thought that!! This is so so telling tho bitch come back soon, Liv misses you, that team definitely misses you and your brain. Too many men, it's not acceptable! and I don't want random rotating female detectives just to fill the spot (they could have kept Churlish tho??), women are not interchangeable thank you, we need Amanda back! the scene says it all, again. Also also also, holy shit Amanda/Kelli she was soooo hot in that scene, like wow. Blouse, pants, hair everything perfect! this was filmed during the 'lil boo thang dance video' right?!😂😂

Also I love the idea that Liv didn't even bat an eye when she goes all 'Carisi told you about the dolls right?' like it's a given that Amanda knows everything about the cases anyway lol. Does Amanda grill her husband when he comes home in the evening?! 😂😂 "Tell me everything about the case, I'm listening (I'm bored I need a challenge)" so if this is what happens there's no way Carisi doesn't know she's bored and miss SVU, come on, like Liv, he knows her the best, he's just waiting for her to come clean I believe, and I get it, maybe she doesn't want to burst the bubble, also with baby number 3 challenge added, and probably the writers want us to see the moment it happens and with this strike it prolonged everything, I will accept the fact that they haven't talk already as long as they really show it tho, because it needs to happens, she wants back! and she's so needed!

watching next week promo tho, Amanda can skip this one, she had already enough danger drama thanks lol

the last but not the least, McGrath gotta go, ASAP, persona non grata, give me back Garland, hell even Dodds was way better. If a character like that doesn't evolve and doesn't learn and doesn't gets better after 3 seasons... he gotta go. Actually he's getting worse.

[evermoredeluxe]

i have to get some thoughts out about the inner circle members and the dynamics between them (mainly ACOSF)

- first of all, i do think that the IC members can be self-righteous and think they know better always. and it doesn’t help that feyre’s love-driven mate perspective makes people mad about rhys not taking more responsibility and always being the hero.

- amren gets too much of a pass on things. i get that they love her and need her (esp because of the powers she had and the knowledge she has), but ffs you don’t always know better. sometimes power is not the only answer. also, love her, but should’ve remained dead oops

- on one hand, there’s an argument that the IC is being graceful to nesta (re: alcoholism, paying rent, etc), but on the other hand, they could be more understanding imo. elain is given endless grace and babied whereas nesta is not. i don’t like that rhys and amren viewed nesta as a weapon and something that needs to be trained so that they can use her. i get why they used elain to convince her to use her powers, but then rhys going on this thing about nesta having a choice… you damn well know it’s not a choice. in order to do something right in an extraordinary circumstance like war, it’s understood that you may do wrong by a person. i can understand that they don’t have many options, but then just be gray characters, don’t force that “we’re always perfect” bullshit.

- i actually am not upset by feyre not including nesta’s painting. sister dynamics can be harsh and weird. even in book 1, feyre hated them for not helping her, but still talked about how she loved them. she tried to include nesta in decorating, invited her to solstice and did other things, but when you’re being spat at by your own sister, you will do spiteful things in return to feel good. she still included a perfect room for her in the house despite being mad.

- i also think that feyre herself was tryna juggle being high lady and pregnant and felt pressured to “control” nesta due to that. inexpected a clash between being high lady and a sister. i don’t think it can be denied that nesta being an alcoholic, abusing NC’s money and being a bitch didn’t hurt feyre. and it can be forgotten that despite all her bravery, feyre is still young. i can get why she thought being with the priestesses would be healing for a person with trauma and how training can help you channel that anger and energy. so she forced that on nesta. so it’s complicated (which makes sense because that’s how it is irl too)

- i think cassian is stuck too much between choosing his family of 500 years vs choosing nesta. i think he’s not perfect at it, hence why all these complains about not being a good mate. but i think it’s realistic that he struggles with this because it’s natural it’ll take time for him to sort out his dynamics. his family always has a list of grievances about nesta to prove they’re right about her being terrible, and while some are unfair, he can’t always outrightly deny them. rhys and feyre were different because feyre is high lady, and has a streak for caring and being a savior (whereas nesta is not like that) and rhys is the high lord

- it’s funny for me to see feyre whackings about her destroying lives of the spring court common people, and what will she do for illyria, but… she literally became a high lady 1-2 years ago and she’s processing her own trauma and is dying with a kid, i get why she isn’t doing shit lol. i agree with the spring court thing (also, what of alis?!), but it’s been established that it takes centuries for change in illyria because of immorality. feyre is paid dust by illyrians, and rhys and cassian are already seen trying to implement changes so yeah.

- unpopular: i think the thing with nesta giving back the power to the cauldron in exchange for saving feyre made sense because so much of the theme around the books has been the cauldron hunting for its power back, and all of ACOSF was about how “like calls to like” (like nesta, i was tired of that sentence lmfao). i also think that people forget that genuinely bad things are happening to the IC, but SJM just saves them and that makes people mad i think lol

[iwant-fuitgummi]

Kaeya Headcanons!!!!!!!!!! (FF = Found Family)

Kaeya Alberich-Ragnvindr

he/they/she

23

Genderflux, Demisexual, Demiromantic, Bi

In an unlabeled relationship with Huffman Schmidt

Family: Crepus Ragnvindr (Dad), Diluc Ragnvindr (Brother), Jean (FF Sister), Eula (FF Sister), Bennett (FF Brother), Klee (FF Sister), Collei (FF Sister)

Best Friend: Rosaria Nacht

Kaeya is genderflux. This basically means that they're genderfluid with fluctuating intensities. They feel masculine most of the time, but often feel like a girl, too. They paint their nails different colors to let people know what pronouns to use. Is this me projecting onto Kaeya? Maybe.

Kaeya loves wearing dresses. They make him feel beautiful. However, he also loves suits. It's always a challenge to pick out an outfit for special occasions. One constant in his outfits is the fluffy scarf.

Kaeya's right eye is partially blind. It has a burn scar over it from his fight with Diluc. He uses his eyepatch and his hair to cover it.

She has nerve damage in both of her hands and her left shoulder from severe burns.

Her left leg is a prosthetic, which she often switches out for a peg leg to play pirate with the kids of Mondstadt. It was amputated when Crepus first adopted her, as it was severely damaged.

Despite what most people believe, Kaeya is actually incredibly shy. Although he is beloved by many people in Mondstadt, he is very selective about the people he gets close to. This is due in part to his paranoia. There are few people who’ve given him any reason to trust him in the past, why should he start now? One of the few people he opened his heart to ended up dead, and the other almost killed him. 

Kaeya and Eula bond over their family issues. Kaeya sees her as a sister. They’re both considered untrustworthy by people in Mondstadt, so they support each other as much as they can.

Kaeya taught Bennett how to use his sword. They still meet up to spar sometimes, and Kaeya’s constantly giving him tips. It reminds Kaeya of sparring with Diluc when they were kids.

After Collei left Mondstadt, Kaeya felt incredibly guilty about the way they went about their investigation. They went to Sumeru with the traveler and apologized to her, explaining what happened. After a while, they became best friends and now see each other as siblings.

Kaeya has 3 big dogs: an Icelandic sheepdog named Sigrid, an Australian shepherd named Eira, and an Irish setter named Annika. He also has a cat, a Scottish fold named Fiske. The three dogs are girls, but Fiske is a boy. All of his pets live inside his house and, a lot of times, they sleep (or at least try to sleep) in his bed. He loves them too much to say no, even though they each have their own comfy beds. All of them were strays who were terrified of people until Kaeya came along.

Kaeya’s house is incredibly clean, despite the amount of pets he has. He's a very tidy person.

Kaeya is a great cook. She doesn’t often cook for herself, though. She's too busy with her work to bother. She makes home cooked meals for her pets more often than she does for herself.

It took forever for Kaeya to notice that Huffman was into them. But when they did notice, they began to realize just how much they liked him back. Kaeya doesn't fall first, but when they do, they fall hard.

Kaeya helps Mika train to use his vision.

Speaking of Mika, Kaeya uses his position as Captain to make Huffman and Mika spend time together and bond by bringing both of them on missions with him. He doesn't have a good relationship with his brother, but maybe he can save the Schmidts from that same fate.

Kaeya is often invited to other nations for diplomatic parties. This is due to his charm and charisma. He's invited to Fatui-run balls at the Zapolyarny Palace, where he gathers intel on the Harbingers without them noticing. He's just that chill.

They still send letters to Diluc occasionally, updating him on their life. They also send birdseed for his falcon.

[bethanydelleman]

Asks about my OTPs

Pick your top 10 OTPs without reading the questions, then answer the questions after you've made your list (I will do my top 10 Austen OTPs)

Catherine Morland & Henry Tilney

Fanny Price & Henry Crawford

Elizabeth Bennet & Fitzwilliam Darcy

Harriet Smith & Robert Martin

Caroline Bingley & Sir Walter Elliot

Elinor Dashwood & Edward Ferrars

Marianne Dashwood & Colonel Brandon

Emma Woodhouse & Jane Fairfax

Eleanor Tilney & her laundry Viscount

Sir Walter & Himself

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6? – When Edward comes to Barton and makes fun of Marianne's love of dead trees.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2? – Yes, my favourite is Fanny: A Mansfield Park Story by Amelia Marie Logan, and I've written severa, including one full length novel.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver? – Nope! Always my kids these days.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be? – This actually happens in FF quite a lot, people are always killing off Brandon early into the marriage and leaving Marianne with a baby. It makes me sad, let Brandon be happy! He's only 37 when they marry he probably has another 20 years at least! (Honestly, since Brandon has survived to his age, Marianne actually has a higher chance of passing away since she's the one making babies).

5. Why is 1 so important? – Because they are so uncomplicated and happy. Just two very cute people making a cute marriage and I would defend their ship to the ends of the earth.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship? – Um, it's a whole joke that Austen didn't reveal a new character because the new viscount made a laundry list that Catherine found. But I love Eleanor so much that I do seriously want her to be happy.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry? – Henry & Catherine, Harriet & Robert I think? I may be a bad judge of "chemistry".

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond? – Elinor & Edward, I'm always surprised how sure they are of the other's love in spite of of all the obstacles.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom? - I honestly don't know at this point, I read Persuasion once as a teenager and I didn't like it but I LOVED Sir Walter. I've watched all the adaptations (including 1971) and I've read/listened to the book multiple times now.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest? – Sir Walter & himself obviously, that's been going strong for 54 years. I hope it continues until his death at 93. All the others are new pairings.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up? – The only Austen couple to break up and get back together is Anne & Wentworth, so zero for Elinor & Edward.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8? – Huh, Fanny & Henry or Emma & Jane? They both have a sickly member, which is not great for their odds... Emma is smart but often distracted which would be really bad but Jane is a devoted learner.... Henry would "improve" his estate with zombie moats... I'm voting for both Fanny and Emma don't make it and Henry Crawford & Jane Fairfax find their second true pairing together.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason? – Colonel Brandon is attempting to hide his regard out of respect for Marianne and that's why I love him so much.

14. Is 4 still together? – Yes, eating walnuts and petting "her" little cow. Man they are cute!

15. Is 10 canon? – Yep! Though a bunch of the others aren't

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win? – I'm going to put my money on Colonel Brandon, who will do anything to save Marianne. He would be the Katniss and she is the Peeta.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship? – Yes, Mr. Elliot has been trying to prevent Sir Walter from marrying again so he can inherit the baronetcy. He almost succeeds!

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond? –  Catherine Morland and Henry Tilney, they are the only couple I can't bring myself to break up in fan fiction.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page? – Um, none? I end up seeing Elizabeth & Darcy stuff no matter what, I have tags on the lesser known Austen characters.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink? – That is hard because these are my favourite, but I guess Emma can marry boring Knightley instead of having a torrid enemies-to-lovers affair with Jane Fairfax...

I'm not big on chain letters. Thank you @firawren for the tag, if anyone wants to try go ahead!

[borathae]

chapter 1

“Thank you good sir” i havent seen this in a serious manner in a long time, and laughed cuz it sounded like 1890s memes 😭 im sorry

pulls the door open with ease. NO WAY I PUSHED AN PULL DOOR BYE U DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK SOME OF US LIKE THAT 😭 violence i will be meditating

ALSO IS IT TAE OR JIN AAH HOLD ON JOON IS TALL TOO maybe kook??

“I’ve been a student here for quite some time actually” this sits at the same table as "how long have you been 17? a while"

oh it was jooniebug WHY IS OUR PRESIDENT A DICK 😭😭

“At least I don’t look like a stoner from the seventies” JIN STOP, HOBI U LOOK AMAZING

funky what is funky why is funky when is funky where is funky how is funky who is funky

what is she studying to have history and human anatomy together?/srs. ooh literature with different stuff for minor

boi i havent heard the word coolio in a decade, the last time probably while reading ff in 2014

oh my god its the bad boy. is it yoongi? YES I WAS RIGHT

4 HOUR LECTURE ON ONE TOPIC?? BOI I WOULD HAVE DIED AND RESURRECTED IN THAT TIME. i have 2 hour lectures with 5 minute after an hour and its amazing

"No reason really”, *plays why u always lying meme

Hoseok agrees with a quirk of his perfectly styled eyebrow. YES HIS EYEBORWS ARE HOT AS FUCK

ofc kook is a sports major

rest of the Alpha dirt”, damn hoseok really got beef with them

status from royal blood? eww hoseok is slay for that *me acting like i wasnt being a thot while reading yoongi, tae, kook drabbles/oneshots

FUCK SOCIETY

“Dear lord, give me strength”, jin and joon with bangtan

JIMIN WTF U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIL FLUFF BEAN *bitch stop u knew how they were in the beninging(yes i misspelled for the meme) YES KICKING IN THE SHIN SUPREMACY

what is a hacky sack? i found out its a game? but what is he exactly studying lol?

also its the way she is making friends and talking to people LIKE SHE SPOKE WORDS YALL could never be me, sure i would have asked someone to help me to my classes but i wouldnt be talking after that, would have said im busy even though im not

if you would excuse me, but you’re quite weird, BYE IM LEAVING THE EARTH THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IM EMBARRASSED you can find me in 134340 business days, where i will be rotting under my blankie bye

“Perfect, now that everyone is welcomed accordingly. an example of when theater theaters in the most theater form

It leaves you wondering what he meant with that. u know what he meant by that, this is where you do the whole twilight thing

“I feel I just witnessed a man high on three different drugs theatre kids in a nutshell (apparently people on tumblr are either gay, english major or a theatre kid, and i sent the meme to my friends, guess what they said................... "looks like you fit all three category" our schools dont have it, but im apparently a theatre kid to them 😭)

WHY DOES THIS MAN WANT TO KILL ME SHUT UP I HATE YOU GO AWAY *gets closer again

How is he walking that quietly you walk with your entire feet, part by part, like in those "special" shoes ads, that helps in reducing sound. slow yet quick

“well, that is indeed a predicament.” oof so elegant, classy, AND RUDE (there 2seok, happy?)

your voice actually comes out squeaky. girl mine would have came quiet yet squeaky way before 😭

BABY CONNECT THE DOTS HOW DID THEY GET THAT FAST QUIETLY??

let’s get the 1860 one.” IS SHE THAT SPECIAL?? WHATS GOING ON AAAH

Seokjin actually answers him with a quiet “yeah!” OFC HE WOULD DO THAT

THEY GOT DEAD BODIES IN THE FREEZER

If you died here tonight EXACTLY U GONNA DIE BYE GIRL, YOU WILL (NOT) BE MISSED jk jk lol

ig kook is scared of girls *eww that was cringe bye Maybe he just needed to take a really urgent shit OH MY GOD PLS😭😭 this is going to stay in my mind forever, everytime i see him running im gonna think of this no doubt

“exactly, that is the reason. He is really shy.” aww such a shy lil bean OK BUT IK THATS NOT THE REASON *inserts suspicious hobi eyes

you must have the crispiest oxygen sounds like an indian water ad, that said "more of oxygen " Arrey yaar h2o water has not turned into h2o2 toxic hydrogen peroxide 😭

i love ur descriptions, they are very picturable and i love the vibes. it is soo good, i could smell the place? the seats, library, just the university smell, restaurant. it was great. i dont think my words do any justice lol

NO WAY I PUSHED AN PULL DOOR BYE U DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK SOME OF US LIKE THAT 😭 violence i will be meditating

I think this is like a universal human experience to push a few pull doors lmaooa

ALSO IS IT TAE OR JIN AAH HOLD ON JOON IS TALL TOO maybe kook??

questions over question mhmhmmhm

oh it was jooniebug WHY IS OUR PRESIDENT A DICK 😭😭

QUESTIONS OVER QUESTIONS INDEED

what is she studying to have history and human anatomy together?/srs. ooh literature with different stuff for minor

honestly? i gotta be honest with you, don't think too deeply about the logistics of her studies. i chose her courses for the sake of plot and nothing else LMAOAO

boi i havent heard the word coolio in a decade, the last time probably while reading ff in 2014

coolio still slaps like 10/10 word (also you see how I made them using "outdated" words wink wink almost as if they were from a different time wink wink)

oh my god its the bad boy. is it yoongi? YES I WAS RIGHT

BADBOY YOONGI AWOO

Hoseok agrees with a quirk of his perfectly styled eyebrow. YES HIS EYEBORWS ARE HOT AS FUCK

THEY ARE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT

ofc kook is a sports major

djjfja thinking back, it makes no sense for him to also study JFJDAFJ (you'll understand it later fasdjfj)

JIMIN WTF U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIL FLUFF BEAN *bitch stop u knew how they were in the beninging(yes i misspelled for the meme) YES KICKING IN THE SHIN SUPREMACY

HAHHHAHAH he may have tricked you fadjfjas

what is a hacky sack? i found out its a game? but what is he exactly studying lol?

yes it's a game fakdsfka in theory he studies dance PLEASE don't think too much about the logistic I literally just went with vibes

also its the way she is making friends and talking to people LIKE SHE SPOKE WORDS YALL could never be me, sure i would have asked someone to help me to my classes but i wouldnt be talking after that, would have said im busy even though im not

i get both sides like i would want to make friends but would be too scared that they would hate me FADJFJ if people like 2seok talked to me though? helloooooo :)

if you would excuse me, but you’re quite weird, BYE IM LEAVING THE EARTH THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IM EMBARRASSED you can find me in 134340 business days, where i will be rotting under my blankie bye

hahahahhaha this part is actually so embarassing bHAHAHHAHAHAH

“I feel I just witnessed a man high on three different drugs theatre kids in a nutshell (apparently people on tumblr are either gay, english major or a theatre kid, and i sent the meme to my friends, guess what they said................... "looks like you fit all three category" our schools dont have it, but im apparently a theatre kid to them 😭)

i don't get the hate on theater kids, all I see is people who don't fit into the "societal norm" and are therefore labelled as weird losers. we don't have stuff like "theater kid" or "sports kid" in Austria either becuse school is solely there to study not to offer clubs but I still never understood the weird hatered some clubs get in America jfdjfa

THEY GOT DEAD BODIES IN THE FREEZER

👀👀👀👀

ig kook is scared of girls *eww that was cringe bye Maybe he just needed to take a really urgent shit OH MY GOD PLS😭😭 this is going to stay in my mind forever, everytime i see him running im gonna think of this no doubt

as for now it seems like he is ooooh 👀

“exactly, that is the reason. He is really shy.” aww such a shy lil bean OK BUT IK THATS NOT THE REASON *inserts suspicious hobi eyes

SUSPICIOUS INDEED MHHHHM

i love ur descriptions, they are very picturable and i love the vibes. it is soo good, i could smell the place? the seats, library, just the university smell, restaurant. it was great. i dont think my words do any justice lol

OMGG THANK YOU!! gosh this is actually such a big compliment :( I'm so happy to know that I managed to really make you exprience the place gaaah thank you for this review heheh 💜💜

[bxriles]

Fuck it. If Gege pulls a deus ex machina to kill Sukuna and keeps on with the bs about how ‘he wasn’t even giving it his all’ in the fight with Gojo, we can validly say JJK has gone down the toilet. It won’t be reaching, it won’t be delusional or biased, it will be legit criticism.

Am i nuts for thinking that at this point JJK needs to end tragically for it to be a satisfactory ending? Because good stories set expectations for how they will go. Sure, there can be some good twists, but there’s still a basic understanding of what kind of story it’ll be. Like Naruto and Avatar: The Last Airbender were set up so that the audience could tell that they would end with the protagonist saving the world and having a mostly happy ending, and that didn’t take away the quality of the writing.

But JJK isn’t set up for a happy ending anymore. People who valued kindness and/or had no ill intent are dead - Nanami, Haibara, Yaga, Riko, etc. Or there was Geto, whose kindness turned into something ugly and hateful. The most powerful character who was the cornerstone of the Good Guys’ movement was killed. And even worse is that Gojo makes his grand declaration to Ijichi that he’s going to change society and make things better, but in the end he didn’t accomplish that. He ended up killing the higher-ups anyway, told Gakuganji to continue the very same system just with different people, and he doesn’t beat the strongest force of evil that he was foreshadowed to defeat. That’s not a good twist, it’s disappointing.

If there’s a ~bittersweet~ conclusion it is going to come across as poor writing. The Good Guys have been steadily losing and losing and losing, jujutsu society hasn’t been changed, and a lot of interesting/good characters are dead.

At this point let Sukuna win. Uraume can cook all the surviving humans for him and then Sukuna can save his beloved chef for last to cannibalize.

Sorry this ask was long oops you don’t have to read all that

tl,dr - Gege is on the precipice of ending JJK quite poorly and Sukuna should win

YES!!! Literally yes to ALL of this!!! This sums everything up so perfectly. You said everything that needed to be said and took the words right out of my mouth. More unhinged ranting below the cut:

You are SPOT ON with the Naruto and ATLA comparison. I am not kidding when I say I am now Team Sukuna. Why wouldn't I be? With the way the narrative is right now, I would feel so cheated if he didn't win. Does Gege really expect us to believe that the remaining Good Guys can beat Sukuna when the singular character who has been set up to defeat Sukuna since chapter 2 couldn't do it? Does he really expect us to be satisfied with Yuji (ily bby but wtf can you actually do rn?) killing Sukuna when Gojo Satoru, the strongest, could not?

I saw a post the other week that compared JJK to Naruto. The whole point of the post was that with other shonen manga (Naruto, OP, DBZ, etc.), we KNOW the protagonist is always going to win, even if it feels like a cop out. So when Kid Naruto beats tf out of a very powerful Orochimaru, we're all like "yeah okay, makes sense." But JJK has done the opposite. JJK has told us that just because someone is the protagonist does not mean they're going to automatically win. I mean, we've seen Yuji get the shit beat out of him so many times because of this. So JJK set up this pretty legit power dynamic and told us that the only person who can defeat the big baddie is Gojo Satoru and we have been given no reason to think otherwise. So when Gojo dies and Yuji somehow defeats Sukuna with an ass-pull, we're all going to be pissed because we were promised otherwise. If we saw Yuji beating special-grades left and right from the first few chapters, then it would probably be fine. But that is not what Gege wrote!! He wrote the opposite of this ffs.

And your whole point about all the people who valued kindness being gone is another thing that makes me even more frustrated. If we're going for a straight up tragedy, FAIR ENOUGH. But if Gege wants to turn this into a bittersweet ending or if he wants Yuji to beat Sukuna, it'll feel cheap.

Let Sukuna and Uraume kill everyone and everything. Any other ending will be bullshit.

[autopotion]

Liking Chrono Cross a lot so far... It's cute, colorful, and full of character. (And characters.) Not always a huge fan of the many varied "phonetic" accents, but it does add a decidedly unique tone... Did a disciple of Ted Woolsey translate this, lol? So far I think I like the combat; it's taking me a bit to get used to elements, but in general I prefer magic systems that aren't based on a flat numeric pool you can only replenish with items (sorry FF), so it's alright in my book.

Other stuff:

Doesn't matter how hard they push the Serge romance angle, Kid comes off as a baby lesbian. TJ O'Malley Jr.

I have mixed feelings about Leena. I actually find AW Leena kind of compelling--like, HW Leena is on her way to her happy ever after, while AW Leena doesn't have that and is alone, and then her dead best friend appears out of nowhere--but she's also like... How do I put this. She's from a rural village, her only apparent dream is to find a husband, her unique tech MaidensHand involves slapping her opponent, and she fights with kitchen utensils. Simultaneously I find her to be a victim of extremely misogynistic writing and also feel like she's the type of small town straight girl who would call me slurs in the locker room. I've got ToB on the brain cuz AW Leena feels a bit like Velvet, in that she's been denied the life of a traditional housewife, but it's difficult to maintain sympathy for that bcuz why would I want her to have that lol. And she doesn't even get a cool gender-complicating demon hand for her trouble. Nevertheless I still kinda like her. Hoping AW Leena discovers some things about herself...

In general too many girls are interested in Serge. Now this clown with a bad French accent is hitting on me. Ik constant attention from female characters is sort of a staple of 90s RPGs, but it's not one that I miss lol

I'm going into this not expecting an awful lot in the way of character arcs from the forty or so party members (not enough space), so I am pleasantly surprised so far at how much character building they're squeezing in. Vignettes instead of arcs maybe. Even the nameless NPCs are written thoughtfully, with tons of interesting dialogue about their lives. I love talking to the people in CC.

I know the body-swap mid-game twist, and there is some excellent foreshadowing wrt that.

SO yeah I'm having fun. As a roleplayer, I'm basically a consummate character collector, so the idea of collecting lots and lots of characters is very appealing to me and the biggest reason I picked up this game (even though I'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed already trying to keep them all on track... maybe I'll just focus on my faves, haha)