#WHY DO MY GAY MEN ALWAYS END UP SEPARATED

[paper-lilypie]

ok but that kid Mobius couldn’t prune was Loki right. like, that was Loki right. The brothers at the dock. That was Loki and Thor right. It was Loki

Mobius couldn’t kill Loki, chose his burden, and dedicated his life to him instead.

Mobius’s story started and ended with Loki. It had to be Loki.

[lefteagleblizzard]

𝔇𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔰 Until Dawn males x male reader

Summary: 4 smut scenarios featuring each of the men from Until Dawn. Each scenario exists in its own standalone world, completely unconnected to the others—distinct, isolated, and unforgettable.

Tags: He/Him pronouns used for the reader. Mike Munroe x male reader; Matt Taylor x male reader; Josh Washington x male reader; Chris Hartley x male reader. Set before the events of the game. All of these are separated and not connected. All of these with bottom male reader. Friends to lovers/ established relationships. Smut. Gay smut. Dom Mike Munroe. Gentle dom Matt Taylor. Dom Josh Washington. Submissive Chris Hartley. Pinning. Anal sex. Shower sex. Riding. Blowjob.

Recently reached 300 followers and i wanted to do something special <3

Words counts: 8000 words (around 2000 for each character)

Can also be found on wattpad and ao3

ℳ𝒾𝓀ℯ ℳ𝓊𝓃𝓇ℴℯ

Cocky and relentless. Teasing that borders on merciless, using his natural charisma to push buttons and see you squirm and blush beneath him. He doesn't stop until he's left you utterly wrecked, trembling and begging for more. He'd enjoy having full control, alternating it with whispered reassurances or moments of tenderness.

Mike Munroe sat in the chair beside you, leaning back with his signature cocky grin plastered across his face, a textbook in front of him that he hadn't opened once since arriving. He had the look of someone who didn't really care about studying, which, frankly, was true. This entire night was a ruse, a flimsy excuse to be alone with you under the pretense of needing help with an exam.

The plan had seemed solid in his head. You'd sit close, explain things to him with that focused, determined look he loved and he'd lean in, let his charm work its magic and, eventually, your studying would devolve into something much less productive.

Mike had always been good at getting what he wanted. A flash of his smile, a sly remark and most people melted. But now, as you sat at the desk flipping through pages and genuinely trying to explain a concept he couldn't care less about, Mike was starting to feel… frustrated.

"You're telling me I have to memorize all this crap by Thursday? Who the hell needs to know about… what even is this—" he glanced down at the page in front of you, squinting as if the words offended him “—polynomial functions for real life? What, am I gonna solve equations at my job interview?"

You sighed, trying to ignore his dark eyes locked onto yours instead of the textbook in front of him. "You signed up for the class, Mike. I didn't force you to take it."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered, waving a dismissive hand. "But that's why you're here." He leaned in closer, resting his elbow on the desk and his chin in his hand, his face mere inches from yours. "You make it all make sense. You're, like, my personal genius."

Your stomach twisted at the compliment, even though you tried to brush it off. This was just Mike being Mike, wasn't it? He was like this with everyone. Charming, flirtatious, impossible to ignore. You'd seen him in action before: the way he smirked at the girls in class, the playful winks he threw at random people in the cafeteria.

It was just his thing. And yet, being on the receiving end of it made your heart race in a way that was becoming harder to ignore.

"Your 'genius' thinks you should actually start paying attention," you said, nudging the notebook closer to him. "Try solving this one."

Mike groaned dramatically, dragging the notebook toward him like it physically pained him to do so. "You're cute when you're bossy."

"Mike—“

"I'm kidding." He shot you a lopsided grin before glancing at the problem you'd written out. He picked up the pen, twirling it between his fingers as his brow furrowed in mock concentration. "Okay, so, uh… the square root here is… this, right?"

You couldn't help but laugh at how off he was, shaking your head as you leaned over to correct him. The faint scent of his cologne, woodsy with a hint of spice, hit you as you got closer and you froze for a moment, suddenly all too aware of how close you were.

Mike noticed. Of course he noticed. His grin widened and he tilted his head slightly, his eyes flicking from your face to your lips and back again.

You cleared your throat, quickly retreating to your seat. "Focus, Michael."

"I am focusing," he said, his voice warm and husky now, enough to make your pulse race and your breath catch. He leaned back in his chair and stretched his arms behind his head, his shirt riding up just enough to reveal a strip of toned stomach. He caught your eyes flicking down and smirked. "On you."

Your face burned and you buried it in the textbook, pretending to reread a section. "Don't you have an exam to pass?"

"Yeah, yeah, blah blah blah," he said, waving his hand lazily. "But it’s hard to concentrate when you're sitting there all cute and stuff."

Your heart stuttered, but you forced yourself to roll your eyes, words stuck in your throat as you kept your focus ahead.

He shifted on the chair, his eyes trailing to your lips as you read aloud from the book. God, you had no idea how good they looked, slightly pursed as you concentrated on the material. He could only think about how soft they would feel against his, how warm they'd be as they moved down his body.

His gaze darkened, drifting lower, watching the way your throat moved as you spoke. He wanted to trace his lips there, feel your pulse against his tongue. The idea made his pants feel uncomfortably tight and he shifted again, trying to will the thoughts away.

The study session continued, with you trying your best to keep things on track despite Mike's constant interruptions. He'd accidentally brush his hand against yours when reaching for a pen, his fingers lingering just a moment too long. He'd lean in close under the guise of needing help, his lips so close to your ear that his breath tickled your skin as he murmured, "Explain that one more time?"

The shift you made brought you closer, your thigh brushing against his and Mike had to work hard not to react.

"Here," you said, pointing to a diagram you'd sketched out earlier. "This is how you get everything right. Got it?"

Mike barely registered your words. He was too busy realizing how he could feel the faint heat of your body. His eyes dropped to your hands as you gestured toward the page, wondering what they'd feel like gripping his shoulders, his hips, his—

"Mike”

"Hmm?" He blinked, forcing himself to meet your gaze.

"Are you sure you're okay? You keep zoning out. You said you needed help with this, right?"

Mike sighed dramatically, flopping back on the bed. "Yeah, yeah, I need help," he muttered, though he wasn't talking about school.

As you leaned forward to grab some papers on the desk, his eyes traced the curve of your jaw, the line of your neck, the way your shirt shifted slightly to reveal just a hint of skin.

It was torture.

Sweet, delicious torture.

"Can we take a break? I feel like I'm not gonna retain any of this if I don't decompress a little."

You glanced at the clock. "We've only been at it for 20 minutes."

"Exactly!" Mike said, his grin widening. "That's, like, more than I've ever studied so far."

You rolled your eyes, doing your best at suppress the warmth rising at his warm gaze in your direction. "Let me at least finish this thing?"

"Alright, fine," he muttered, picking up the book with a theatrical sigh and flipping through it aimlessly. "Keep cracking the whip, Teach."

You smiled faintly and got up to grab another set of notes from your backpack. The second you stood, Mike's eyes trailed down the curve of your back, lingering too long on the way your jeans clung to your butt. He bit his bottom lip, running a hand through his hair as he exhaled sharply through his nose.

Enough was enough.

With a quick sigh, he stood, ego hurt and curiosity piqued. He closed the textbook on your desk with a sharp thud. His lip curled briefly at the sight of the boring equations inside, a momentary flicker of irritation at how they'd monopolized your attention. Then he turned his focus back to you.

When you turned around, annoyed at now being able to find what you were looking for, you froze.

He moved closer until your back pressed against the wall. His chest rose and fell steadily, his lips curving into a soft, almost vulnerable smile.

"Can I ask you something?" His voice was low, the teasing edge stripped away, leaving something raw and earnest.

"Uh… sure?" Your pulse quickened as his hand came up, resting lightly against the wall beside your head. His tall frame radiating heat as he leaned closer to you. His dark eyes bore into yours, not with the usual teasing glint, but with raw, unfiltered emotion that made your heart race.

"Do you like me?" he asked, his voice low and intense.

The question hit you like a punch to the chest. "What?"

"You heard me," Mike said, his tone softening, though the intensity in his gaze didn't waver. "Do you like me? Because, damn it, I can't keep this up anymore. I came here because I wanted to be with you, not to study. I just… I need to know."

You stared at him, your heart pounding so loudly you could barely think after hearing the vulnerability in his voice.

"Just tell me the truth," he murmured, his hand lifting to cup your jaw. His thumb brushed lightly over your cheek and the tenderness of the gesture made your knees weak.

Your throat tightened and you felt heat flooding your face. "Yes, Mike. I like you. A lot."

His grin returned, slow and breathtaking, as though your words were the only answer he'd ever wanted. "Yeah?" he asked, his voice dropping to a low rumble. "You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that."

He closed the distance, his lips crashing against yours in a kiss that stole the air from your lungs. It was hungry, raw, as though he'd been starving for this moment. His hands found your waist, pulling you forward until you were pressed tightly against him as his tongue pushed into your mouth, exploring with urgency.

You gripped his shoulders instinctively, your fingers digging into the firm muscle as he deepened the kiss.

He pulled back just enough to whisper against your lips, his voice rough and breathless. "Fuck, I've been wanting this for so long. You have no idea."

He bent down abruptly, his arms sliding under your thighs to lift you effortlessly. You gasped, your legs wrapping around his waist. Mike's lips moved to your neck, kissing and nipping as he trailed down to your collarbone. His light stubble scratched your skin, a delicious friction that left you squirming in his hold. He sucked a mark just above your collarbone, his tongue soothing the sting before he moved up to your jaw, his breath hot against your cheek.

"You taste so fucking good," he murmured, his voice a husky growl.

His lips found yours again, the kiss deeper this time, his tongue delving into your mouth as though he couldn't get enough. His hands gripped your thighs tightly, his fingers digging into your skin as he ground his hips against you. You could feel his hardness through his jeans, pressing insistently against you and making you ache with need.

With a grunt, Mike turned and carried you to the bed, laying you down carefully before crawling on top of you. His weight pressed you into the mattress, his sturdy frame caging you in as his lips found your neck again. His hands were everywhere, exploring your body with a mix of reverence and urgency.

You moaned softly as his teeth grazed your neck, his tongue soothing the sensitive skin before his lips claimed yours again. His hands moved to the hem of your shirt, tugging it off in one swift motion before discarding his own. His bare chest pressed against yours, the heat of his skin making you gasp as his lips continued their assault on your neck.

Mike's hands moved lower, unfastening your pants with a speed that made your head spin. He slid them down along with your underwear, his eyes darkening as he took in the sight of you fully bare beneath him.

His fingers found their way between your legs, teasing you as he leaned down to kiss you again. His other hand wrapped around your length, stroking you with firm, steady movements that made your hips buck into his hand.

"You like that?" he asked, his grin wicked as he watched your reaction. "I want to hear you, baby. Don't hold back."

He worked you with expert precision, his mouth returning to your neck to suck another mark. He was relentless, his fingers slipping lower to tease your entrance, his voice low and commanding.

"Relax for me," he whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I'll take care of you, I promise."

His fingers moving in and out with practiced ease as he murmured praises against your skin. His other hand continued stroking you, his thumb teasing your tip in a way that had you writhing beneath him.

"God, you're so tight," he muttered, his breath hot against your neck. "I can't wait to feel you around me."

When he finally replaced his fingers with the hot, throbbing weight of his cock, the stretch was overwhelming. You hissed, your hands gripping his shoulders as he sank into you slowly, giving you time to adjust to his size.

"Fuck," he groaned, his head falling forward to rest against yours.

Mike’s lips didn't stop their assault on your neck, alternating between wet, searing kisses and the light scrape of his teeth that left trails of fire in their wake. Each movement of his hips pressed his thick, throbbing length deeper against you, and the friction was maddening.

"Fuck," he whispered, "You feel so good. So fucking good."

His restraint snapped, his hips snapping against yours with increasing urgency. His hands gripped your hips tightly, holding you in place as he fucked you deeply, his groans mixing with your moans in the heated air.

His pace quickened, his thrusts hitting deeper as he angled his hips just right. You cried out, your nails digging into his back as pleasure overwhelmed you.

"That's it," he growled. "Let me hear you."

You couldn't hold back, your moans growing louder as he pushed you closer to the edge. His hand slipped between your bodies, stroking you in time with his thrusts.

"Come for me," he whispered, his voice strained.

His words sent you over the edge, your climax hitting you as you cried out his name. The way your body clenched around him pushed him over the edge, his thrusts growing erratic as he spilled inside you with a deep groan.

He collapsed on top of you, his body trembling as he pressed soft kisses to your neck, his arms wrapping around you as he held you close. "Worth every second," he murmured, his voice soft and full of affection.

ℳ𝒶𝓉𝓉 𝒯𝒶𝓎𝓁ℴ𝓇

He would seek constant reassurance as he takes tentative steps. However, once he gains confidence, he becomes surprisingly assertive. He'd focus entirely on your pleasure. His athleticism would lend itself to strength and stamina, ensuring you're worshiped and cherished. He would revel in making you feel safe yet utterly overwhelmed by the raw power of his passion, glowing with pride every time he draws out a moan or gasp.

The campus was alive with the lazy hum of an afternoon sun. Matt Taylor was out on the field, his athletic frame in constant motion as he jogged the perimeter.

The way his shirt clung to him, damp and snug from exertion, only highlighted the strength in his broad shoulders and the subtle definition of his chest. It clung stubbornly to his abs, outlining the defined ridges of his stomach. Every muscle in his body seemed to work in perfect harmony as he moved.

The sweat glistening on his caramel skin only made him look more enticing.

He stopped after a lap, bending slightly to catch his breath, hands resting on his thighs. The sight was enough to steal yours.

There were moments when his head would turn, his dark, warm eyes flicking in your direction. He always seemed aware of your presence, like you were a natural part of his environment. The way you looked at him was as essential as the air he breathed.

He'd catch your gaze just for a second, his lips quivering into a smile. It was like he knew you were watching and wanted to remind you that he saw you, too.

With a deep breath, Matt straightened, one hand pushing his damp shirt away from his torso, exposing the hard lines of his stomach. Wiping the sweat from his face and neck with a calm, unhurried precision.

Matt tilted his head just slightly, as if gauging your reaction. Then, without missing a beat, he pressed his hand to his lips and blew a kiss in your direction.

Your heart stuttered, the sheer casualness of it leaving you stunned.

He turned toward the bench at the edge of the field, where his water bottle rested and took a moment to hydrate. He poured some of the cool water over his head, letting it cascade down his face and neck before trailing over his chest. The droplets caught in the sunlight, gleaming as they traced the curve of his shoulders and the hard ridges of his collarbone. His free hand dragged across his jaw, wiping the excess water away in a move that was as unintentional as it was captivating.

The others called out to him, ready to start another round of drills and he responded with an easy wave. As he jogged back to join them, he passed by where you sat.

"Hey," he said, his voice low and warm, tinged with the kind of softness he reserved for moments like this. He leaned down, resting his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. "I was trying out some new moves. Gotta know if they're, you know, impressive enough." His tone was light and teasing, but there was a flicker of vulnerability in his expression, like he genuinely cared what you thought.

"They're impressive," you admitted, your voice quieter than you intended.

His smile softened and for a moment, he looked almost shy. "Thanks," he said, straightening up and running a hand through his short, damp hair.

You watched as he jogged back to his friends, the muscles in his legs flexing with every step. He jumped right back into the game, throwing himself into it with renewed energy. He made daring plays, diving for the ball in ways that sent his friends laughing and clapping him on the back. He'd glance your way after every particularly bold move, his smile growing brighter each time he saw you watching, eager to impress you.

The dim lighting of the locker room cast soft shadows over Matt's glistening body as he leaned against the lockers, phone in hand, his voice warm and playful. His towel hung loosely around his neck and his shirt was long forgotten, leaving his torso on full display. Every inch of him radiated heat.

The room was quiet now, save for the distant echo of running water in the pipes and the soft shuffle of Matt's footsteps as he paced near the benches.

"Yeah, I'm still here," he chuckled into the phone, his deep voice carrying a hint of teasing affection as he talked with you. "No rush, though. No one else is around."

He glanced at the screen, his smile softening before he made up his mind on what to do next.

"Want to hang out? We can talk later after I'm done here, if you want?" He murmured, voice low with a sweet and earnest tone.

"Turn around," you said.

Matt froze for a moment, processing your voice now coming from behind him. He spun on his heel, his eyes widening as they landed on you standing just inside the locker room door. A surprised laugh escaped him and he hung up the call, sliding his phone into the pocket of his gym bag.

"You're here," he said, his grin growing wider. His dark eyes sparkled with a mix of excitement and shyness as he took a hesitant step forward.

"I wanted to surprise you," you replied, your voice soft but steady.

He moved closer, the heat of his body palpable even from a few feet away. The faint sheen of sweat making every curve of his muscles stand out.

"Let me—uh—just a sec," Matt stammered, rubbing the back of his neck as he closed the distance between you. He was so careful, leaning in slowly as though worried he'd overwhelm you. His lips brushed yours lightly at first, the saltiness of his sweat mingling with the sweetness of his breath.

"You don't mind the, uh…" He gestured to himself, his cheeks flushing slightly.

"Not at all," you murmured, pulling him closer.

The kiss deepened, his mouth moving against yours with a mix of gentle passion and restrained hunger. One arm looped around your waist while his big hand cradled the back of your head. His hands found your hips, his touch firm but tender.

He broke the kiss only to glance over his shoulder, his eyes scanning the empty locker room. Once satisfied you were alone, he turned back to you, his expression soft but smoldering.

"Shower's right there," he murmured, his voice low and husky. "Think we could, uh… clean up together?"

The corner of his mouth twitched in a nervous smile, but the desire in his eyes was undeniable.

You didn't answer with words, letting your lips find his again instead, this time with more urgency as he backed behind with you caged in his arms.

The shower stalls were humid and warm, steam curling in the air as Matt turned on the water, letting it cascade down his back. He stood under the stream for a moment, his head tilted back, droplets running over his shoulders and down his chest, washing away the sweat that clung to him.

He turned to you, his expression soft but filled with intent. "Come here," he whispered, holding out a hand.

You stepped into the stall, the warm spray hitting your now naked skin as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close. His lips found yours again, deeper this time, his hands exploring your back, your sides, the curve of your hips. His touch was firm but gentle, every movement infused with the kind of care that made your chest ache.

His hands moved to your waist, lifting you slightly to press you against the cool tile wall. The contrast of temperatures sent a shiver through you, but Matt's body pressed against yours was a furnace, his heat keeping you grounded.

The water ran between you, slicking your skin as his kisses trailed down your neck, his lips warm and soft against your wet skin. His breath was hot, mouth lingering over every inch of you like he couldn't get enough.

"I want to make you feel good," he whispered, his forehead resting against yours, water dripping from his hair and into your eyes.

Hands broad and rough from years of training roamed your body with deliberate care. He started at your waist, his thumbs grazing your hips, then slid them down to cup your thighs, pulling you closer until every inch of him was flush against you.

His lips moved down the side of your neck, planting open-mouthed kisses that lingered, his tongue flicking out to taste the droplets sliding down your skin. "You feel so damn good." Matt murmured, his voice thick with need.

His teeth grazed your bottom lip before his tongue pushed into your mouth. His hands drifted lower, gripping your ass firmly as he hoisted you up, pressing you against the cold tile wall.

His hips pressed into yours and you felt the unmistakable hardness between his legs, the weight of him grinding slowly.

"Matt," you gasped, your voice catching in your throat as his lips found your collarbone, then moved lower, trailing down your chest. He paused at your nipple, his mouth closing around it, his tongue swirling as his teeth grazed just enough to make you arch into him.

The water streamed down his back as he continued his descent, his tongue and lips mapping a path across your stomach, his hands gripping your hips tightly, anchoring you. He looked up at you as he knelt, his eyes filled with a hunger that made your knees weak.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice low, almost reverent.

You nodded quickly, your breath hitching as he kissed along your thighs, his mouth hot against your damp skin. His fingers traced delicate patterns, teasing you, making you ache for more. He submits his mouth to take on your length, his tongue flicking out to taste you, slow and deliberate as he traced every vein and ridge.

The sensation of his mouth on you was almost too much. Your hands flew to his hair, your fingers tangling in the soft strands as you arched up against him.

His hands gently rested on your soft, supple ass. He circled the hole gently before pressing his finger inside up to the second knuckle. Your head tilting up as the finger went in deeper before adding in another finger.

When you were trembling beneath his touch, Matt stood again, pulling you into another searing kiss. His hands gripped the back of your thighs, lifting you easily as he aligned himself with you. The anticipation was overwhelming, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, "Tell me if I'm too much. I don't want to hurt you."

His sweetness melted into raw passion as he slowly pushed inside, stretching you in a way that made your breath catch. The pressure was intense, the fullness almost too much, but Matt paused, his lips brushing your temple as he murmured against your skin.

"You're doing so good for me," he said, his voice strained, his restraint obvious as he let you adjust.

When you nodded, giving him the okay, he began to move. His thrusts were slow at first, measured, each one sending sparks of pleasure through your body. His hands gripped your hips tightly, holding you steady as he found a rhythm, the sound of skin against skin echoing in the small, steamy space.

"You're so tight," he groaned, his voice barely above a whisper as he buried himself deeper.

His pace quickened, his control slipping with each thrust, his eyes watching you intensively, filled with unspoken adoration and need.

Matt's hand slipped between your bodies, his fingers stroking in time with his thrusts. The dual sensations were overwhelming, your body tightening around him as you felt yourself teetering on the brink.

"Come for me. I want to feel you," Matt whispered, voice a mix of command and plea.

His words pushed you over the edge, your climax ripping through you with an intensity that left you shaking, your cries muffled against his shoulder. The way your body clenched around him sent him spiraling, his thrusts becoming erratic as he groaned your name, his release spilling inside of you hot, heavy and overwhelming.

He held you there, both of you trembling as the water continued to pour over your exhausted bodies, his breath ragged but his smile soft.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice hoarse but filled with tenderness.

You nodded, your fingers threading through his damp hair as you pulled him into a soft, lingering kiss. "More than okay."

And with that, Matt grinned affectionately before wrapping you in his arms, his warmth and love enveloping you completely.

𝒥ℴ𝓈𝒽 𝒲𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓃ℊ𝓉ℴ𝓃

He would be almost hypnotic. His hands firm, guiding you like a puppeteer while he watches every reaction with piercing eyes. Touch that alternate between rough and tender. He'd seek absolute surrender, his lips tracing feverish paths across your skin as he demands every gasp, every shiver, until you're completely undone.

The basement was dimly lit, a warm glow from the single overhead bulb casting shadows over the eclectic collection of items Josh's family had accumulated over the years. Shelves lined the walls, crammed with dusty film reels, old cameras and props from Josh's endless experiments in cinematography. You trailed behind him as he rifled through a box, muttering under his breath about where he'd left the camera he needed.

"You've got enough stuff down here to make a whole trilogy,” you spoke amazed, picking up a fake severed hand from one of the nearby tables. "Let me guess, this was for some horror project?"

Josh turned, his smirk lighting up his face even in the shadows. "Oh, that? Nah, that was just Halloween last year. Dad thought it'd be funny to have it sticking out of the candy bowl." He rummaged through a nearby crate, pulling out a few props from old projects like the fake blood packets and a weathered script.

You laughed, shaking your head as you placed it back on the table. Josh returned to rummaging through his box of supplies and your attention wandered to a nearby shelf where a cracked clown mask hung ominously. This place is like a treasure trove, a mix of fascinating and unsettling, much like Josh himself. His mind always worked a mile a minute, brimming with ideas that danced somewhere between genius and chaos.

"Found it!" Josh declared, holding up a vintage film camera triumphantly. "This baby's gonna make my project an A+ for sure."

"Finally," you teased, crossing your arms. "I thought we'd be down here forever."

Josh's grin widened, that familiar mischievous glint lighting up his eyes. "Oh, don't tell me you're scared of basements."

"I'm not scared of this place," you replied, rolling your eyes while turning around to see again a cool looking mask that you wanted to try out.

"No?" he asked, his tone mock-innocent as he casually reached for something behind him.

When you turned around to face your boyfriend again, your eyes were met with a mask that resembles a skull-like style with a pair of thin black eyebrows, a cracked nose and rotten styled teeth. The dim light casting eerie shadows across the distorted features.

He lunged at you with a guttural growl, arms outstretched. Startled, you yelped involuntarily, stumbling back a step as he grabbed you with exaggerated ferocity. He gripped tightly your waist and hoisted you effortlessly onto a nearby table, pinning you in place.

"Gotcha!" he exclaimed, pulling the mask off to reveal his gleeful grin.

"You absolute jerk!" you gasped, swatting at his chest with your right hand in frustration.

Josh laughed, his deep, warm chuckle echoing through the basement. "You should've seen your face! Priceless."

"You're the worst," you muttered, though the heat in your cheeks betrayed how flustered you were.

"Oh, come on," he said, leaning closer. His hands rested on either side of your hips, trapping you. "You're even more handsome when you're scared. Seriously, it's not fair."

He leaned closer, his lips brushing your ear as he murmured, "Let me make it up to you for my genius prank." He concluded the line with a kiss to your neck, his lips warm and insistent against your skin.

"Trust me," he whispered, his voice low and rough, his hands sliding up your sides as his teeth grazed the sensitive spot just below your ear.

Your breath hitched, your hands finding their way to his shoulders as his mouth moved lower, trailing kisses down your neck and along your collarbone. His fingers tugged at the hem of your shirt, pushing it up to expose more skin, his lips following the path his hands carved.

"We’ve done it not even an hour ago," you murmured, your voice trembling as he nipped lightly at your shoulder.

Josh chuckled against your skin, the sound vibrating through you. "Perfect then! Means that you’re ready for me," he admitted, pressing his lips to yours into a kiss that was equal parts sweet and consuming. His hands roamed your body with a mix of confidence and care, his touch leaving trails of heat in its wake.

He broke the kiss just long enough to tug your shirt over your head, his eyes darkening as he took in the sight of you. "You look good," he said simply, his voice tinged with awe.

"Stop being sappy," you teased, though your heart raced at his words.

Josh grinned, his hands sliding to your waistband. "Fine, I'll focus on other things"

He made quick work of your pants, his lips finding yours again as he pressed you back against the table. The feel of his body against yours, the weight of him grounding you, sent a shiver down your spine.

"Tell me what you want," he murmured against your lips, his voice low and intimate.

"You," you replied without hesitation, your hands tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer.

Josh groaned softly, his fingers tightened on your thighs, his thumbs stroking the bare skin just above your knees as he stepped closer, pressing himself against you. His lips trailed along your jawline, soft and teasing at first, but the heat in his movements grew with each passing second.

He tilted your head slightly, exposing more of your neck and pressing his lips there, warm and insistent.

Your breath hitched as his teeth grazed the sensitive spot just below your ear, his tongue following in a slow, deliberate sweep that left you shivering. His hands roamed upward, fingers hooking under the hem of your shirt before tugging it over your head in one swift motion.

"God," he breathed, pulling back just enough to take you in. His eyes were dark, predatory. "You're fucking amazing."

"You don't look so bad yourself," you managed, your voice shaky but laced with a teasing edge.

Josh smirked, leaning in to kiss you again. This time, there was no pretense of restraint. His tongue slid against yours, the kiss messy and consuming as his hands pulled you closer until there wasn't an inch of space between you.

Your hands found their way to his shirt, pushing it up over his torso. He broke the kiss just long enough to yank it off, tossing it carelessly to the floor before returning his lips to yours. The heat of his bare chest against yours sent a thrill through you, his skin warm and slightly damp as your hands explored the defined lines of his back.

Josh's hips rolled against yours and you felt the unmistakable hardness pressing against your thigh. Your own erection makes your pants feel painfully tight. He groaned softly, his breath hot against your neck as he ground into you, the friction sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your body.

"You're driving me crazy," he admitted, his voice rough as his hands slid to the waistband of your pants. He hesitated for just a moment, his eyes meeting yours. "Can I…?"

"Yes," you said quickly, the word barely more than a whisper.

He grinned, his usual cocky demeanor softened by the flush in his cheeks, and tugged your pants down, his hands deliberate and firm. You kicked them off, your skin prickling with anticipation as he leaned back to admire you.

"You're perfect," Josh said, his voice husky as his fingers traced along your thighs, his touch featherlight but electrifying.

You reached for him, pulling him closer until his body was pressed fully against yours. The feel of him, hard and eager, against your own growing arousal made you gasp. Josh took the opportunity to kiss you again, his hands sliding lower to grip your ass, lifting you slightly as he aligned himself with you.

"Ready?" he asked, his hands voice soft but filled with intensity.

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck as he positioned himself. The stretch as he pushed inside was slow and deliberate, his movements measured as he let you adjust to the fullness.

"Fuck," he groaned, his head dropping to your shoulder as he buried himself completely.

The words sent a shiver through you, your hands tightening on his shoulders as you urged him to move. Josh pulled back slightly, his hips rocking forward again in a slow, steady rhythm that left you breathless.

He found a pace that was both gentle and intense, his thrusts deep and deliberate, each one drawing soft moans from your lips. His hands gripped your hips, guiding you as he pressed kisses to your neck, your jaw, your lips.

Your own voice trembling as the pleasure built with each movement.

Josh's pace quickened, his control slipping as his need for you overwhelmed him. The table beneath you creaked with each thrust, but neither of you cared. The only thing that mattered was the way he filled you, the way his body moved against yours like you were made for each other.

Your climax hit suddenly, a wave of pleasure crashing over you and leaving you trembling in his arms. You cried out his name, your fingers digging into his shoulders as your body clenched around him.

Josh wasn't far behind. His thrusts grew erratic, his grip on your hips tightening as he buried himself as deep as he could, groaning your name as he spilled into you. The warmth of his release sent another shiver through you, the sensation leaving you breathless.

For a moment, the two of you stayed like that, tangled together on the table, your breaths mingling as you came down from the high. Josh pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, his hands trailing soothing patterns on your back.

"Am i forgiven now?" he asked, his voice hoarse but laced with his usual humor.

You laughed softly, nuzzling into his neck. "Yeah, I'd say so."

Josh grinned, his arms tightening around you as he rested his forehead against yours. "Good. Because I'm not done yet."

𝒞𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈 ℋ𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓁ℯ𝓎

Hesitant, nervous chuckles and self-deprecating jokes peppering the atmosphere before his passion takes over. He's the type to fumble slightly, then find his rhythm as he becomes more confident. He'd moan sweetly, almost embarrassed by how lost he becomes in you, whispering heartfelt praise and words that reflect just how irresistible he finds you.

The game's victory screen flashed across the TV, the sound of triumphant chiptunes filling the room. Both you and Chris collapsed onto the bed in an exhausted heap, the adrenaline of finally beating your highest score leaving you giddy. His laughter bubbled up first, that unmistakable mix of relief and joy that only he could manage and you couldn't help but join in.

"We actually did it," Chris said, breathless as he flopped onto his back, one arm draped lazily across his forehead. "I thought we were doomed when you missed that jump in the third level."

"Excuse me, you're the one who forgot to grab the power-up right before the boss fight." You shot back, turning your head to face him.

Chris groaned, dramatically rolling onto his side to look at you. His glasses were slightly askew and his hair was sticking up in every direction, but he looked so completely relaxed and at ease in that moment that it made your chest ache in the best way. "Okay, okay, my bad. But you have to admit I nailed that final combo."

You snorted, nudging his shoulder with yours. "Yeah, sure. But only because I carried us through the rest of the game."

His jaw dropped in mock outrage. "Carried us? You died twice in the first round, man!"

“And who revived you at the end?" you shot back, smirking.

Chris opened his mouth to respond but stopped, his grin widening as he broke into laughter. "Alright, alright. You're not entirely useless. We're gaming legends now! They're gonna put our names in the Hall of Fame or something."

"Right next to the guy who discovered cheat codes for unlimited lives," you quipped.

"Exactly," he said, grinning as his blue eyes sparkled behind his glasses. "We're pioneers of our time."

The two of you laid there, the laughter slowly fading into a comfortable silence. The faint glow of the TV bathed the room in soft light, illuminating the faint curve of his smile as he gazed up at the ceiling. His arm was still close to yours, his fingers just brushing against your skin in a way that felt deliberate but unspoken.

"It was fun," Chris said after a moment, his voice quieter now.

"Yeah," you agreed, your own tone softer. "I don't think I've laughed this much in a while."

He turned his head to look at you, his glasses sliding down his nose slightly. "From now on you'll be my good luck charm."

You chuckled, shaking your head. "You just needed someone to keep you focused. You do get distracted a lot."

Chris groaned, covering his face with his hands. "Don't remind me. I'm like a dog chasing squirrels. Oh look, shiny object—game over."

You both laughed again, the sound soft and intimate in the late-night stillness. When it faded, you found him watching you, his blue eyes catching the flicker of light from the TV.

"What?" you asked, your voice tinged with curiosity.

"Nothing," he said quickly, but his grin gave him away. "You're a lot of fun to hang out with, you know that? Like, even when you're roasting me."

"Glad to be of service," you teased, your own grin mirroring his.

His gaze lingered a little longer than usual, his expression shifting slightly. "No, but seriously. I mean it. You're, uh… you're really great."

You felt your cheeks warm at his words, the sincerity in his voice catching you off guard.

"Thanks," you said softly. "You're pretty great too, Chris."

He smiled, a little shyly this time, and turned onto his side fully, propping his head up on one hand. "Have you ever thought about how weird life is? Like, one day you're just doing your usual things, then Sam one day shows up with someone like you and suddenly everything's a million times better. Boom. Butterfly effect."

You raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to be romantic at two in the morning? Because I think the lack of sleep is getting to you."

"Hey, don't ruin my moment!" he protested, but his laughter undercut his words.

You laughed too, the sound mingling with his as the moment stretched on.

You sat up on the bed and then crawled toward your destination, the TV's glow fading as you turned it off. When you turned back to the bed, Chris was sprawled out like a contented cat, his arms spread wide, his legs slightly apart. His glasses were back into their original place at the top of his nose.

"You just gonna stare, or are you gonna accept my invitation?" he teased, wiggling his eyebrows in an exaggerated fashion.

You laughed, shaking your head, but the way his smile widened when you leaned closer told you that you weren't fooling him for a second. You crawled onto the bed, resting against his side as he let his arm fall lazily around your waist.

"Happy now?" you asked, pressing a quick kiss to his left cheek.

"Getting there," he said, voice soft and a little breathless

You didn't stop, peppering more kisses along his cheek and down to his jaw, light scratches from his stubble against your lips. Your hand wandered lower, brushing over his stomach, then down to his pants, where you felt the beginnings of his growing arousal.

Chris chuckled, the sound nervous but filled with anticipation. His free hand moved to your back, pulling you closer as his breath hitched. "Wow, okay, uh… Someone's feeling bold tonight," he murmured, though his grin betrayed how much he was enjoying it.

"Aren't we supposed to be basking in our gaming glory?"

You squeezed him gently through the fabric, feeling him harden further under your touch. "Should I stop, then?" you teased, feigning innocence as your fingers lingered.

"Nope!" he blurted out quickly, his voice cracking slightly as his head shot up. His face was flushed, but his lips found yours in a soft, insistent kiss, his usual shyness tempered by a growing determination.

The kiss deepened, his tongue brushing yours as his hand slid under your shirt, his fingers warm and exploratory against your skin. You shifted, straddling his lap, and he let out a quiet groan as your weight pressed down on him. His hands gripped your hips, guiding you slightly as he rolled his hips up, creating delicious friction that left you both breathless.

"God, you're… You're really good at this," Chris muttered, his lips trailing down your neck, each kiss accompanied by a soft hum of approval.

"You sound surprised," you teased, grinding against him again just to hear the way his breath caught.

He laughed softly, though it quickly turned into a low groan. "No, no, I mean—I just—" He stopped, shaking his head as if words were failing him entirely. "Never mind. Keep doing that… please?"

You grinned, leaning in to kiss him again, your hands slipping under his shirt to explore the warm expanse of his chest. He was lean but toned, his body radiating heat as your fingers traced over him, eliciting small, breathy noises that only spurred you on.

Chris's hands slid to the waistband of his pants, fumbling slightly as he worked them down. "Help me out here," he said with a nervous laugh, his cheeks red but his smile never wavering.

You helped him and he helped you out, the two of you working together to peel away the layers until you were completely bare. Him beneath you with your naked body on top of his. His erection stood proud, flushed and eager and the sight of him vulnerable yet so clearly aroused made your own desire burn hotter.

"You're handsome, you know that?" you said softly, running your hands over his thighs as you sat back to take him in.

Chris laughed, covering his face with one hand. "Oh my God, don't say stuff like that. I'll die."

"Too bad. I’ll say it, whether you like it or not," you teased, leaning down to kiss him again.

His response was a muffled laugh against your lips, but it melted into a moan as you reached down to guide him to your entrance. He gripped your hips tightly, his eyes searching yours for confirmation and when you nodded, he let out a shaky breath.

"Okay," he said, his voice soft but steady. "Okay, just—take your time."

You did, slowly sinking onto him, the stretch intense but achingly good. Chris's grip on your hips tightened, his head falling back against the pillow as a low groan escaped him.

"Holy shit," he whispered, his hands trembling slightly as he held you steady. "God, you feel amazing."

You leaned forward, bracing your hands on his chest as you began to move, your body adjusting to the rhythm as you found a steady pace. Chris's eyes were half-lidded, his lips parted as he sat up from his previous laid position. His hands were guiding your movements but never pushing, always letting you set the pace.

"Is this— shit, is this okay?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly as his hips bucked up involuntarily.

"it's perfect," you murmured, leaning down to kiss him. "You're perfect."

His laugh was breathless, almost disbelieving, but he met your kiss with fervor, his tongue tangling with yours as his hands explored your body. The soft gasps he made, whispered curses, your name falling from his lips like a prayer… it all drove you closer to the edge with every thrust.

Chris's movements became more erratic, his hips meeting yours with increasing urgency. "I'm—oh God, I don't think I'm gonna last," he admitted, his voice high and strained

"Don't hold back," you said, your own voice trembling as your climax built.

With a choked groan, Chris buried himself as deep as he could and tightened his arm around your body, his release hitting him in waves that left him trembling beneath you. The feeling of him filling you, combined with the look of utter ecstasy on his face, sent you over the edge, your own orgasm crashing through you as you collapsed onto his chest.

For a moment, the two of you stayed in that position, your breaths mingling as you came down from the high. Chris's arms pulled you close as he pressed a soft, lingering kiss to your temple.

"Best. Night. Ever," he murmured, his voice warm and content.

"Agreed," you said, your own smile matching his as you nuzzled against him.

If you liked this, please leave a comment. I love reading them <3. Let me know if you had a favorite one out of this four fine men ;)

[imaginative-123]

Why Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss have a Misandry Issue Part 1

A part of me questions myself if I have to make this post, but then I decided in my free time I finally let go of my doubts and have finally decided to make this post, bec deep inside I wanted to be honest with both of these shows how it depicts men including men who are part of the LGBTQ spectrum, the post will be me going in depth of the creator's shows, that includes the analysis and criticisms of Vivziepop's work.

TRIGGER WARNING:

This post will contain Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment, R@pe, Power Dynamics/ Power Imbalance, Misogyny and Misandry.

If you are uncomfortable with this topic that I'm going to discuss, you can choose not to continue reading this post however if you are willing to continue regardless of the contents and sensitive topics that I'm going to discuss, please proceed with caution.

So first let's talk about Misandry, since this term isn't as well known as Misogyny, Misandry's definition is the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex). However Misandry is a term I didn't recognize being used until this year when I found on Reddit that there are few posts and comments talking about it compared to Misogyny, and it surprised me why isn't this term isn't as talked about but then in my experience on Twitter and Reddit that there are certain subreddits and other comments denying that "Misandry doesn't exist."

To which I disagree while yes I'm a woman, I do see and experience Misogyny in online spaces including in real world and other women face thru issues like sexism, physical and emotional abuse from other men, r@pe, sexual harassment and etc., that still doesn't excuse being biased and ignore what men faced thru in real life, there are stories I've seen from other men who were drugged and also being physically abused by their ex girlfriend or other women, r@ped and sexually abused by the older woman or in this case an older man, I've seen a video before of a guy singing on stage only to get groped on his dick by a woman and she laughed at him and at the end he was shocked and left the stage from embarrassment, falsely being accused of sexual assault, toxic yaoi fangirls sexually harassing gay or straight men of who's the top and bottom, little boys being molested or raped by older people, families and that includes male and female teachers, telling Men to stop crying bec Boys can't cry, there is also a Twitter post from a woman wishing Male Suicide rates go up, there are few Twitter posts from Women wishing to abort male babies from existing, ignoring Male SA Victims and laugh at their experience bec they got "lucky" and wish they got into their place, Media that makes jokes about Male SA and etc., seeing these stories from men who experience that really made me feel sorry for them and I don't think they deserved that. Plus, this isn't me discrediting female victims I do also support them including male victims, in regards to r@pe just bec it happens to women it can also happen to men including people on the LGBTQ community and nobody deserved to be r@ped, I'm not an SA Survivor, but I'm so glad I didn't experienced it bec of how traumatizing and horrifying r@pe is, and also a comment earlier I've seen on Reddit is that Women and children r@ped and died from the hands of men, yes I'm not denying it definitely exists but doesn't mean we can ignore that it can happen to men including little boys in the hands of their abusers and murderers. Also my brother was physically abused by my father and my sister had to witnessed the abuse on front of her, my Mom and Dad were always fighting personal problems and I was also physically abused by my father before my parents separated and it took me years for my father to changed as a person before he died in Sept 5, 2016 due to Stroke. Plus this year is his death anniversary, I understand if there are children who can't forgive their abusive parent but for me my father proved to me that he can change as a person and I have already have forgiven him before he died.

The main reason why I want to discuss Misandry bec it relates to Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss while I can see many posts discussing how poorly the main female characters are handled by Vivziepop and I completely understand why the critical community have issues with that, the issues that happened with the male characters in regards to Misandry have few posts which is why I want to tackle it.

The next topic I want to tackle is the MLM or Gay Representation in the show Helluva Boss bec this also the main reason why I made this post.

Vivziepop and her crew loved to boast and pride about their Queer Representation but as someone who watched the show, as a bisexual woman myself, the Queer Representation is just as shallow and a mixed bag to be honest, the reason for that is Viv's depiction of gay men is not only misandrist but also sexist on how they were depicted. But before we deep dive to the male gay characters on how they were depicted I wanted to focus on the term that is mostly being used on fictional gay relationships that is Yaoi. Yaoi is a Japanese term for manga that features sexual romance between men, specifically as created by and for women. In the West, yaoi is used more generally to refer to any anime, manga, fan fiction, that focuses on romance between men. Although to be fair, Yaoi from what I've seen can also be consumed by gay men, the main reason I brought up Yaoi is that because Viv's shows are being accused of stereotypes about gay men such as fetishization of r@pe, power imbalance, sexual harassment and etc. That's because Yaoi is a very controversial subject in the community where there are gay people who are split about the depictions of gay men in Yaoi and BL's, there are gay men who dislike the fetishization and that it only appeals to women but there are others who defend it as just fiction.

For me personally I don't think there's an issue with consuming Yaoi or BL's and I'm not saying women can't enjoy it, but as someone who is desensitized to the stereotypes that BL I consumed in my earlier teen years I can't just ignore the real issue, bec back then I used to be a proshipper, I used to defend artists who were being sent death threats and harassments from antis and I used to defend problematic fiction and ships and I always go thru arguments with people who don't like it, I was offensive and also not mentally well in the past but as of this year I no longer support Proshipping since I do not stand by that including my not so great behavior from the past, but that doesn't mean I will not stoop down to the same level of antis that will harass or threaten proshippers and I don't accept that. However just bec it's fiction argument, it still needs to be criticized for valid reasons, and also just bec Yaoi have stereotypes does this mean the entire genre is like this? No, there are other stories who don't fall into the same problematic stereotypes, but still sadly, Yaoi and BL is still controversial for continuing it's stereotypical depiction of gay men and it's also mostly present in Webtoons and Manhwas.

When I revisited GoatJesus' video about Examining the Yaoi ★ BL Genre where he as a gay man analyzes but also criticize Yaoi's depiction of men but also praises other shows for straying away from stereotypes and there are certain parts of the video that stood out to me that I will put here where GoatJesus talks about the main points about Yaoi. To which I edited 2 clips into 1 video.

Regarding the women who write BL or Yaoi's, I'm not against women who write that specific genre, nor I'm mysogynistic that women have no freedom to write stories, and I do believe that not many female authors fall into writing stereotypes about gay men, however this does not mean that I can't just ignore that other women and other most popular female writers who still write harmful views onto gay men and this comment under GoatJesus video sums up my main issues from that online article that was being discussed.

The reason it's related to Vivziepop, bec Viv herself a female writer still falls into writing stereotypes about gay men and I will finally discuss on the subject of Helluva Boss first before Hazbin Hotel. The first characters we will going to tackle is Blitz, the main character and founder of IMP, and he himself is also confirmed to be Pansexual.

I'll be completely honest, Blitz is an interesting character, he himself have relationship problems of his insecurities getting in his way and mostly the mistakes that he made to people whom he used to be closed with, and he usually acts as confident and arrogant and badass on the outside but deep inside he had issues, but the way the show tackles jokes that Blitz made is really uncomfortable most especially in Season 1 where he made rape threats to Moxxie and his wife Millie.

That next episodes includes making demeaning jokes to Moxxie and let's not forget sexual harassment and invading space of the Imp couple.

The biggest problem is that Blitz up until Apology Tour had never tried to apologize for making Moxxie uncomfortable and invading him and his wife's personal space, while yes it is true that Blitz himself craves for a healthy relationship that he sees in them that doesn't excuse his past actions. This is not only the issue I see in Blitz's character this is also how other characters also treat him like dirt. Let's start with Loona, Blitz was a caring but also overprotective of Loona bec he himself first discovered Loona at the adoption center for Hellhounds where he saw Loona fending herself against a male hellhound who tried to hurt her and she herself was alone and crying about how depressing her situation was, which thankfully Blitz with good intentions did finally adopted her and became her dad, throughout S1 Loona herself was like any other emo goth girl but for Blitz regardless of Loona's personality still loved her, this however changed in Spring Broken where Loona developed a crush on Vortex and that's where Blitz developed his overprotective tendencies to which when they got in the human world where Loona tried to start a conversation with Vortex until Blitz interrupted them bec he wanted to focus on the main goal of getting back their parking space from Verosika and that's where they both started arguing bec Loona thinks Blitz can't leave her alone and she told him he's not her real dad and she herself views as an adult, Blitz cannot control his overprotective tendencies and Loona tells Blitz she doesn't need him. Loona later tries to apologize but Blitz cuts her off and tells her to enjoy her break while he continues finishing his job, although after Millie defeats the fish monster they both came back in the human world, in Truth Seeker, Loona and Millie where willing to rescue the boys who were left in the human world and being abducted by the Dhorks and Loona was willing to help her team defeat the members of the Dhorks and Loona was given a kiss in the cheek by Blitz and he was proud of her for helping IMP to which she was embarrassed but still continues fighting. The episode that stood out to me is Queen Bee which is the last segment where Loona takes care of the drunk Blitz and was willing to let him rest after Blitz tells her his insecurities of his fear of dying but Loona reassures him she will be there for him.

You know maybe Loona wasn't that bad to Blitz right? Right? Wrong, in the past I used to liked Seeing Stars bec of Loona and Octavia's relationship develop like sisters, yet this however doesn't excuse the problem on how Loona treats Blitz as she's suddenly violent and being abusive to Blitz for no reason like Blitz regardless of me not excusing how he treated Moxxie, but I don't recall him sexually harassing Loona nor talking about her body, all I remember is him trying to be a good dad to Loona yet somehow he's in the wrong for wanting Loona to be better and yet at the end get kicked in the nuts for no reason despite Blitz wanting to apologize to her because?

"HAHAHA! IT'S GIRLBOSS, AND FEMINIST TO KICK MEN IN THE NUTS FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN COMEDY! PLEASE LAUGH!!!"

That's not funny, that's insulting and it definitely regressed the development of Loona and Blitz father and daughter relationship in the first season. Loona however just like Blitz had never apologized for treating people in the wrong and the show somehow forgot about it and it just went back to normal. So anyways let's talk about Stolas, Stolas is by far one of the most controversial characters in the show bec there are people being split about his character, there are fans who loved him but there are haters who truly hated him, bec there are reasons the critical space is not fond or welcome of him, that's bec he has the power in the relationship bec he and Blitz were in a transactional relationship where Blitz is required to have sex with Stolas so that he can still borrow the Grimoire book to the human world for his business of killing people. The Reason there is a Power Imbalance comes from the fact that Blitz an Imp that is a lower class demon and Stolas is from the Goetia a higher class demon above imps and not only Goetias are also racists and looked down upon Imps with the exception of Octavia. This is the common trope that you may see in problematic relationships that also includes transactional relationships in Yaoi and BL's where the Seme has the power and masculinity in the relationship while the Uke is lower and have no agency of his free will and this is the equivalent of a heternomative stereotypes that is placed upon 2 men, while there are people who analyzed Yaoi said that it have Misogynistic tropes bec of hetenormative roles places upon men, I'd say in my opinion it's more Misandrist bec it doesn't view men in an actual gay relationship but in a lens of a straight person on how they view gay men. This is however in Helluva Boss the roles are reversed since Blitz is the top while Stolas is the power bottom, but let's be real if Stolas a Rich Goetia is the Top and have power in the relationship while Blitz is the bottom in lower class it would be much more controversial and people would see it more as sexual coercion. But bec the roles are reversed and why there are fans of the ship don't view it as toxic bec Stolas a gay bottom man was babyfied by the narrative that can't do wrong in the relationship and that Stolitz is just a misunderstanding of bad communication in a relationship when if anyone with critical lens would look deeper and see the relationship as problematic and there is a power imbalance in their relationship yet I found out that one of the fans of HB said that Stolitz is meant to be endgame by Viv, and I was like did Viv see nothing wrong in their relationship? The relationship was built from transaction, including Stolas sexually harassing Blitz in front of his daughter, was the result of cheating from his wife Stella as to why she was rightfully upset at her husband and it was retconned in Season 2 to make her a cartoonish villain with no depth compared to Stolas, and they were supposed to be canon at end? No thank you, Ma'am, Blitz deserved a better partner than Stolas or hell he could've fixed his relationship with Verosika since I found their relationship more interesting than Stolitz, yet Blitz was the one who should apologize to Stolas instead of Stolas taking accountability and not apologizing for looking down on him, sexually harassing him and having the power in the relationship. It's just frustrating to watch that not only diminishes the YT views of S2 compared to S1 but the relationship overtakes the premise of the show about assassination. Doesn't help the fact the show has the will they don't they kind of relationship where the show finds Stolitz to be romantic but also not romantic at the same just like how Viv and her writing staff view them.

Now let's talk about Chaz, he's the character I truly hate on my first viewing of him last year when the episode was released, he's the embodiment of everything wrong with Helluva Boss with it's overused of sex jokes relating to male genitalia or dick jokes and sexual harassment, the guy was just only part of Crimson's Mafia and being both Moxxie and Millie's ex boyfriend. His only character was just being annoying, talks about how sexy he was, his dick, sexually harassing Moxxie and annoying Millie and we don't exactly know why they break up, and his music theme is annoying to listen to. It's even worse that he's Pansexual and just like the main male characters in the show where they nonstop talk about their genitalia like Blitz, I'm serious what's the purpose of his character anyway? He almost serves no purpose to the narrative unless it was just him marrying Moxxie so he can get into Crimson's wealth. I'll be completely honest I'm glad he died, I felt so frustrated to watch him, and unfortunately he had a cult fanbase dedicated to him and there are others like me who don't like him either. I feel like I'm questioning Viv's view on gay men is disturbing to be honest.

Lastly, I wanna talk about Moxxie, my dear poor bisexual Moxxie, he was the character who was the the victim of sexual harassment, the butt of jokes, being humiliated for being in a healthy relationship with Millie that is being set in Hell. I do feel bad for how he was treated by the narrative that involves around SA, the show constantly makes jokes about Moxxie being SA by Verosika and her crew including Chaz and Blitz,

Doesn't help the fact in which he was forced to marry Chaz when he's also forced to wear a Wedding Dress against his will and was being tied up and turned to a damsel in distress for Millie to saved him, I'll be completely honest, I have no issues with Moxxie being Bisexual, the issue comes from the fact that the female and male characters humiliate and SA him and was being forced to a feminine role against his will, it's one thing if a gay man wants to express freely his sexuality and I have no issue with that, men can express being gay and not be shamed for it. The issue was that Moxxie was being forced against his will and it was irritating to see him like that, the last time the show never humiliates him is when he licks Blitz Asmodeus crystal to help him to activate and go back to the human realm bec Blitz conveniently can't activate it himself. However this does not excuse how the past episodes treat him.

This is the post I will make for Helluva Boss bec I have to rest and I will make a second post about Hazbin Hotel when I have time since there's a lot of stuff to unpack in another post. Just a reminder, this post I made have no bad intentions towards Vivziepop and her staff, this is just me a Bisexual Woman who consumes BL who was also being critical of the genre that I'm consuming and giving my personal and honest thoughts of Viv's depiction of her Gay men in her shows. Just a reminder if you want to comment on my post that's fine but I do not accept bigotry and homophobia, bec I might as well block you, all I want is a personal discussion of the gay representations being represented in the show. Thank you and Goodnight.

Edit: I just found out that there is a minor retweeted my post while I do understand that they are also critical of the show however my account says Minors do Not Interact since my post also tackles adult themes that is not suitable for minors and also I personally disagree with their views on Lucifer but regardless, if a minor sees this post please do not interact. Bec I might as well block you, I don't think an adult like me should be discussing adult stuff in front of minors in online spaces.

[derfpossessions]

Rented You Out - Part 1

Ever tried on a suit? Perhaps borrowed someone else's? Or you could've gotten it from a Suit Rental? Well let me tell you about a story of a man, whose body LITERALLY got rented out. So grab your ☕️, grab your 😸, because it's about to get WILD from here, well at least for our main boy.

Meet Denholm Gauthier, the 18-year old boy in 12th Grade, ready to graduate in a few months, but still have no decisions towards what to do in his life. He is a well-loved and kind student at his high school, and as the leader of the Football team and President of the Student Council, oh he's got it all. Plus, he's the class Valedictorian. So why is he such in a lost position? He had always seeked purpose in his life, though no one seemed to give him a damn since he's literally a privileged, handsome white dude. Everyone's got their own shit. To everyone's surprise, Denholm once mentioned that he didn’t want his life AT ALL, to which everyone got outraged about, saying “WHY NOT?!?”. Well, with this story unfolding, I guess I can say he found his purpose.

Chapter 1: Kidnapped

And so we begin. It was psychology class and the classroom was having a heated debate about the human mind and body. It escalated between the nerds too much that a fight could’ve broke out but thanks to Denholm it was de-escalated fast.

“It’s fine Mr Watkins, this topic was a bit controversial if I’m going to be honest with you. But I believe that our human minds are its own unique ways, and one could never be another person.”, he stated as he made the others calm down.

“Well that’s what you thought.” The quiet kid said. His name was Stanley. He’s the kid that sits in so much envy while watching Denholm rise up in the podium of popularity. He was always jealous of him. He wanted to live like him. Heck, he wanted to be him.

“What was that bro?” Denholm politely asked. Stanley didn’t replied, so Denholm’s just shrugged it off and packed his bag.

Lunchtime was up, and Denholm ate with Markus, who’s his childhood and best friend. Denholm long knew then that Markus likes other men, but Markus never really showed him that he wanted Denholm to be more than friends. Though with that said, Denholm is a very liberal person, and of course, a straight ally, which is not what Markus wanted but more than enough to keep them as friends.

“Hey bro! What’s up?” Denholm excitingly said to Markus.

“Nothing much, just tired of life as always.” Markus said.

“Why’s that so? You have friends and family!” Denholm replied.

“Well I don’t want this life. So stressful and so pressured. I wish I could be just as charismatic and attractive and NORMAL as YOUR life!” Markus said with a raising voice.

“Wha… is that what you feel about my life?” Denholm was shocked. Markus raised his voice on him again, which he typically does to cover his feelings of desire towards him. It’s really hard for a gay man like Markus to try and not fall face flat with his feelings towards straight boy hottie Denholm.

“You know my life isn’t easy too. I wish I could live as simpler as any other person.” Denholm sighed.

“Oh I’m sorry..” , Markus said. Denholm hugged him, and so the feelings came in again. Markus’ manhood was rising a little bit high that time, but not too high for Denholm to notice. It was almost like Markus wanted to kiss him on the spot, but he didn’t forgot his dignity and so he didn’t do it.

There was a student council meeting afterschool, so Denholm had to leave the last period early. While walking down the hallway, he saw a black van parallel parking in the lot. It was quite peculiar to see a car parking at that time. He wanted to investigate it but was running late for the meeting, so he ignored it.

The meeting had finally ended. Denholm separated with his classmates because his locker was at the other exit of the school, and now, he’s secured from the hands of evil. “I love you.”, said by Denholm to his girlfriend as he leaves the school through the back exit. As he was leaving, the black van he suspected earlier, was open. He was grabbed by two men wearing balaclavas and shoved him into the backseat.

Denholm tried to talk but his voice was muffled caused by the tape on his mouth. A silhouette of a teenager was seen from the car mirror, but that teenager quickly turned it away to get prevented from being seen. Helpless, Denholm tried everything he can to get unleashed, but it was no use. The two men started injecting something on his back, it wasn’t a syringe, rather a sharp wired material that penetrated his spine, and later his whole body. As he was agonizing in pain, the kid from the front seat was giggling, enticed to see the pain Denholm was going through. They then started to dig down his back even further, almost as if they were cutting it wide open like a zipper. As he can no longer tolerate the pain, Denholm passed out from exhaustion.

Chapter 2: I Am My Bestie

Nightfall came, and Denholm’s parents were very worried. His girlfriend along with his father seeked help from the police, to which they saw the van that took him away. Markus, who thought that the men might have put Denholm captive at school, drove straight there during the night.

To by his surprise, he saw Denholm lying down in the locker room. He screamed, “DENHOLM!!” As he tried waking him up. He tried to lift his body upwards but noticed something strange. His body was a little lightweight.. almost hollow.

As Markus went to see Denholm’s face, his eyes looked… empty. Something wasn’t right. It only took a matter of time until he discovered that Denholm had a huge rip on his back, with a little switch attached to his neck. Markus kept shrugging Denholm to awake him but there was no use. He then examined the rip, and accidentally opened it, which revealed Denholm’s insides with literally nothing in it. Just a hollow mold.

“My friend’s… a bodysuit?!?!?” Markus started to panic. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what he would tell to Denholm’s parents. So he kept trying to wake Denholm up, but he’s no longer there. There was only one choice. If Denholm WAS an empty suit for someone to wear, then someone must wear him for the meantime, and who would that be none other than Markus. “I’m so sorry, I love you.” Markus started to tear up. He then stripped off his clothes. He started to insert his legs and feet into Denholm’s empty body. Markus was a bit larger than Denholm’s so it was a tight fit. the warmness of the insides then slowly binded Markus’ legs onto his. There was no turning back. Next, he put on the torso, and leaned Denholm’s head forward for now. It was almost complete. The last thing to do is to put on the head. As Markus was putting Denholm’s face like a mask, it frightened him too much that he started suffocating. In the outside it looked like an expressionless Denholm but you can hear Markus grasping for air. He eventually fell to the groubd and passed out.

The next time Markus woke up, he was at the floor. His body was glistening with sweat, or should I say, Denholm’s body. He tried to get and up and looked around, then exhaled to see that he can breathe again. His breath smelled like Denholm’s, which shocked him a lot. He paused and saw the mirror, with Denholm reflecting back to him. “De..Denholm??”, Markus said. The voice still sounded like Markus wearing a mask, which was muffled, so Markus adjusted Denholm’s face to fit his even more. And so the face finally locked in. “Denholm??” He said again. This time the voice sounded EXACTLY like Denholm. He started to rub his new wavy hair, and touch his new skin in his face. He also noticed his eyes even changed. Rubbing it through, he no longer has curly hair or dark skin, and his smell noticeably also disappeared, revealing a musky, bold smell from Denholm.

He admired Denholm’s hair, torso, biceps, and stroked his 6.8-inch dick. He then started putting on his clothes, and covered up the switch with a bandage. He looked at the mirror again and said, “Sorry Denholm, baby, but I need to drive you for now.” and kissed goodbye to his reflection in the mirror.

Now that Markus holds Denholm’s life, it was time to tell the news to Denholm’s family. Going home a bit excited, he rushed into Denholm’s house where a worried mother and father rushed in to receive him in open arms. “We missed you so much honey!”, Marta said to her “son” while embracing him. Markus felt a wholesome rather never-before feeling at that moment, as his parents were divorced and was put into care by his evil grandparents. This experience has become a chance for Markus to feel the life he deserved to have: a loving family, popular, charming, spoiled, everything that he ever dreamed of. Besides his sexual desires in the love of his life’s body, it was a chance for him to enjoy a new life of his own.

Chapter 3: Denholm Slayy

Morning came and Markus woke up refreshed, and opened his phone to see that he still has Denholm’s face while looking at the front camera. “Good morning, babe”, Markus started teasing himself. Suddenly something raised from under the blankets. Markus felt aroused by Denholm’s morning look so much that he decided to have a little bit of fun before getting through his day.

He let out a quick moan as he started grabbing onto Denholm’s elastic manhood. And there he unleashed loads and loads of cum which splashed through the whole bedroom. He didn’t even gave a damn into how he’s gonna clean all that mess. Then he admired himself in the mirror then started kissing it. “Oh I wish you were fucking me like this baby. Such a slay”, Markus groaned as he breathed in great intervals. He was having the time of his life.

“Babe??? Babee, I came to pick you up!” that was Paula, Denholm’s girlfriend, picking him up to go to school. Markus got alarmed by this. How was he supposed to clean all that cum on the wall? He quickly got up from the bed and took a dirty shirt from the laundry to wipe off all the stains from the walls and floors. Then he put on a shirt before opening the door. “Babe! What took you so long?? Also why are you not dressed yet we’re already late!” Paula said. “Sorry babe, got a bit hazy from last night that’s all.” Markus replied. “Well if you want to talk about it, we can spend the day together”, said Paula as she seductively touches Denholm’s cheeks. “No it’s alright, besides you have a test today and we must put our studies first right?”, Markus said while feeling anxious. “Ok! I’ll wait for you downstairs while you get ready.” Paula replied.

“Babe babe… Babe my ASS.” Markus side-eyes Paula as she left. “You know Denholm, you don’t deserve this annoying slut!” Markus said while berating Denholm’s reflection in the mirror. “This is why I’m GAY! UGH! If only you were mine… But for now, I am you. I will make the most of it.” Markus said while getting dressed. He put on a new bad boy look for Denholm, compared to the plain shirts that Denholm used to pull off with. Markus did a grin in the mirror as he admired his ideal look for Denholm.

“Oh daddy, you’re really such a fine person. I hope we get to bond more like this again.” Markus sighed. He then headed off to school with Paula.

———

It was now the afternoon. No one has seemed to have noticed that Denholm was being controlled by another person, as Markus has studied every single inch of how Denholm moves and speaks, which counts to the amount of obsession he has towards his homie. But there was one person that wasn’t convinced by the act though. While walking down the street, Paula confronted Denholm/Markus. “Babe, is everything alright? You seem distant.. detached today…”. Markus started to get nervous again, not knowing what details to say to her. “Babe its nothing.. look, I’ll head home now. Maybe I just needed a rest.” He replied.

Markus was finally back at Denholm’s room. It was now late at night. He took off his clothes and decided to lie down. “Maybe I should… do it again..” As Markus tried to stand up, suddenly he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was suffocating through latex. He then started gagging until he choked. It was the suit. He tried leaning on to something, but eventually the sweat that accumulated the suit made him trip down and struggle to get up. It felt like he was about to die, something was crushing him from the inside. Desperate, he tried unzipping off from the suit, which worked perfectly well. Markus finally got out of Denholm again, after over a day of using him. Both of them were covered in sweat, with Markus hyperventilating as he stared at Denholm’s lifeless body.

[lady-of-the-puddle]

Hello hello, it is time once again for, you guessed it!

Rating Clu's

Homoerotically tense

Relationships

I thought long and hard about this because I only had about 2 in my head when I mistakenly threw it out there in another post but like, here you go 😎

Have a picture in case you forgot what cgi Jeff Bridges looks like:

Behold, a guy. Anyway

1. Kevin

He is the most obvious so I'll get this one out of the way

You are me and I am you but you are the darkest parts of me but I love you anyway

This begs the question:

Would you fuck your darker self/clone

Idk about u but my heart tells me that Kevin sure would

7/10 it's about the man vs self of it all

2. Jarvis (why is this photo so fuckin big??)

I know I said Kevin is the most obvious

But this guy has the biggest crush on Clu

He is simp supreme

Like the way he turns to Clu for approval after everything he says makes me feel like I should leave the room

He loses a point for being a dork coward but Sam's mascara is very pretty and he's also a Flynn so I can't blame him too much

9/10 go henchboy go

3. Rinzler

Fellas, is it gay to brainwash god's most specialest boyfriend and make him loyal to only you all while knowing god is still out there and can see what you've done to everything he loves? All while knowing he's nothing more than a pet and will never love you and wouldn't even if he could

Like talk about the ultimate rebound

No notes honestly, I don't even need to go on with this one

11/10 not even one girl(Quorra) could make this all seem a little less gay

4. Dyson

Another case of yoinking your exes boy but this time it was consensual

He literally just agrees with Clu and helped him take over

If that's not a basis for a strong relationship then idk what is

He really seems so desperate to stay in Clu's favor like he must know that tron is the real prize here, his bitter ex. Has there ever been so much dating drama between programs?

5/10 replaceable.

5. Sammy

It occurs to me now that he hasn't made it on these lists yet so everyone clap for him

I feel brave for even acknowledging this one

Is Clu his dad? Is he an entity separate but still containing qualities of his father at a certain point in time that forever diverged from the moment of conception? Idk he's a computer man

So like the part where he's just kinda circling Sam looking him up and down like he's a prized pig? Yeah.

CAUTION THIS IS A JOKE please for the love of Kevin don't cancel me over this

2/10 why the 2? Cause there's fics out there man I know it

6. Zuse

He's so babygirl

Clu even mixed him a drink before he blew him up

I love their dynamic I get the feeling if Clu had to spend more than 5 minutes around him he'd strangle him much sooner

Stoic asshole with the silly asshole

Honestly they're perfect for each other

10/10 what can I say? I'm a simple program I see two men interact and I rate them

Special mention:

7. Quorra

Now some of you might say, hey Puddle Girl, this isn't homoerotic at all she's a girl

Well they're programs so gender isn't real and also they're bi so it counts

Anyway I thought about this one cause there was this weird tense moment towards the end of the movie where Quorra is captured and Clu's just like, talking to her and touches her hair and it was uncomfortable but it also made me feel some type of way

Like I understand that it's 100% a power play BUT

����

3/10 he was gonna add her to the boyfriend collection cause all he does is steal from Kevin

Hi in honor of my Tron themed birthday I finally finished this. I was really reaching for some of these as you can see but I can't take it too seriously anyway. I'm always here for the gay of it all but is it homoerotic or do they just need to put more people who aren't men in this franchise? We'll literally never know! 🙃

Hey @soihadthisdreamonce I'm sorry 5-10 business days turned into 5-10 business weeks I was moving and time got away from me but I didn't forget you

[zodiyack]

Closed Doors

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x (nonship)daughter!Reader, Shelby family x (nonship)Shelby!Reader, Best friend character x fem!reader lol

Warnings: slight angst, fear of homophobia?, fluff, mention of drinking

Words: 414

Request: Hi! I was wondering could you do a pesky blinders fic where the reader is Tommy’s daughter and is gay but too afraid to come out until he finds her making out with her best friend one day (much like your Tommy’s son fic but with a lady?)

Note: oh god i haven't been able to write for a while, and im posting this on mobile (also meaning it'll take a bit to put it on my master list) regardless i hope it's okay. I also forgot who all is on the taglist now, this is just the taglist from when i saved this as a draft. Hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @fandom-puff, @darling-i-read-it, @simonsbluee, @captivatedbycillianmurphy, @jenepleurepasbaby, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @stuckysslag, @psychkunox, @i-love-superhero, @marquelapage, @peakyxtommy, @stydia-4-ever, @babylooneytoonz, @livlaughquinn​, @bubsonnobx​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Tommy walked along the street, pointing out random boys and joking with his brothers. "Wonder what kind of lad Y/N will end up with..." Not that he'd accept just anyone in his daughter's life.

Arthur snorted, "any guy out here would have to go through me. John and you too, no doubt."

John and Thomas nodded with a hearty laugh. "They'd have to fight that friend of hers too, she never leaves her side."

The men continued to bicker and chortle on their walk to the house.

"Hello Mr. Shelby!" Sonia chimed. Sonia was always welcomed, Y/N's best friend. She never had to ask, simply walk through the front door. He greeted her back as she sped up the stairs to Y/N's room, closing the door behind her.

After a few hours, and after the rest of the company went out, Thomas decided he wanted to go to Garrison. As he was the only one home, aside from the two girls, he made his way up the stairs to notify them of his absence.

The courtesy of knocking escaped him as he pushed her door open, the payment for such action taking a gasp from his parted lips. Before him was the sight of his daughter and her best friend, lips upon each other's, quickly separating at the sound of the door.

"Dad-" Y/N's eyes welled with tears, crushing Tommy's heart, and seemingly Sonia's as she looked to her friend with concern.

"Mr. Shelby, I promise-"

"Don't." He looked down and leaned against the door frame. "Why do you feel the need to hide away? Why couldn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry..." She sobbed quietly.

"Don't be. It's who you are, what is there to be sorry about?"

Sonia perked up, "you're not mad?"

Thomas let out a genuine chuckle. "Why would I be?"

"My parents...they weren't too fond of my attraction to Y/N. We feared that you'd feel the same." He felt empathy for the shaking girl, her gaze averted in shame.

"I take pity that your parents are ignorant. You cannot control who you love. In this case, it's my daughter. My only asks, are that you treat her well..."

The girls looked hopeful, staring at him anticipating his continuation. "And?"

"And that you keep the door open when you're in her room. I trust that you can respect these requests. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go to the Garrison and have a drink."

-

Bonus:

"do you think he's drinking because of us?" Sonia asked fearfully.

Y/N chucked, "no, he just likes to drink."

[lesblizzard-ultradyke]

i keep thinking about this lately so I'll post to stop thinking about it so much. so.

they say gender and sex are different things. but you can not claim that and say that words "woman" and "man" and all alike are words that mean gender. if you think about it, "woman" and "man" mean both sex and gender in some way, if we define gender as "set of stereotypes forced on people because of their sex". "woman" has always meant an adult female human and with being a woman people are associating a certain set of stereotypes and also people often use "woman" and "man" to mean gender like "he's so woman-like" (works for other ways to point out someone's sex, too, like "she got balls" and stuff) so, yeah, you could say "woman" and "man" and all alike mean sex and (imply) gender.

so back to why you can't use "woman" and "man" to mean only gender. very simple point actually, it already means sex. you can not just act like it doesn't mean that anymore because you said so, not only do these words were used for centuries in both ways but also it was always to mean sex first and only after it implies gender.

so how can you keep saying that sex and gender are different while also calling female humans "(trans)men" and male humans "(trans)women"? if you do then you believe that having certain behaviours or appearance makes you both different sex and gender which does not really align with you saying "gender and sex are different things". or a secret third thing: you think sex doesn't exist and there's only gender(you're denying physical reality over a social concept!). which is kind of a whole other thing to talk about. (I did end up talking about it a little in the end)

in my opinion, the way to say "gender and sex are different things" and not be a liar(or well, one of the steps to it) is to actually separate sex from gender, or separate gender from words like "woman" and "man". in fact, it has already been done! words "masculinity" and "feminity" literally describe gender perfectly. it means a certain set of stereotypes which are usually expected from members of certain sex but using which to describe someone does not mean that they are a member of that sex (like if I'll say "she's a masculine woman" I will not mean that she's a man, but a woman whose behaviour or appearance in one or another way resembles behaviour or appearance which is usually expected from men).

separating gender in sex in this way has actually so many benefits! it clears out the endless confusion and argue in modern western spaces regarding sexuality and women's rights. this separation is being followed by the recognition of sexuality being an attraction to certain sex(es), so words "lesbian", "gay", "bisexual" and "heterosexual" will have a clear meaning. and by recognition of the fact that misogyny is a sex based oppression.

if any of what I said in this post is somehow offensive or wrong or even transphobic to you then you're either lying about thinking that sex and gender are different things and/or you're trying to reconceptualise sex, only sex is not a concept but a material reality which you can not reconcept. it's just there. not much to do about it! at least not without harming your body(for such reason as different social recognition??!!). what you can do though, is reconceptualise gender. or just abolish it completely.

[officialpenisenvy]

confession, being an update regarding the guy i'm fucking who told his neighbour that i'm his son, and also some other crises:

first, i did actually end up calling him dad, it was on accident and in a stupid context and now he's mad at me (i was the cunt here). the incident being: we went out then back to his, i was about to blow him, but then he said something which reminded me of other guys who used to tell me that same thing, so i had a minor mental breakdown and called him a pervert and a homo (funny thing to call the guy you were about to fellate) and generally trying to macho my way into coming out of this interaction looking straight and normal (not possible). he tried to get me out of it by slapping me, i got more mad, at this point i'm trying to fight him but not doing a very good job (blind drunk, first attempt missed his face and hit the side of his neck, felt like a massive loser), also i'm calling him dad by then. now he's calling ME a pervert back and like yeah he has a leg to stand on here (i didn't) and then i throw up on his shoes and he kicks me out. texted him an apology a few days ago but it was atrociously bad because of my ego and he hasn't replied yet so unless i accidentally run into him while we're both drunk he should probably start thinking how to tell his nosy neighbours why his son doesn't visit anymore.

second, i am glad to announce i found the old keys to my dad's apartment so i went in while he was at work and took back my records that he stole from me when my parents separated. so i win. sadly i found out i owe him money which i won't pay but i'm mad like, conceptually.

third i'm back with my coach from childhood who in retrospect was highly inappropriate and also excessively violent with me but back then i thought it was normal because of, i mean because of my dad probably right, also the one time i can remember thinking something was off he said it was very normal between two men in sport and i fully 100% believed him for years and later got surprised when my football coach was just a normal man basically. but i quit that sport at 14 because i became attracted to him and thought that was gay of me so i legged it. anyway i'm back because he's the only guy training that style in my city so for a year now i'm grappling him or another trainee but under his watch multiple times a week more or less and wires get very crossed and he's still a pervert which is not good for me... advocating for pederasty to preserve my dignity here.

i feel i always unload a sack of rocks upon your blog but i'm bad at shutting up. in unrelated news - joined a band, doing a show tomorrow and opening with black dog which is fun. singer is in the habit of trying to shriek like robert while being... nearly a baritone, but i think it's beautiful when singers kill their voices while young so i encourage it. i hope the rest of your day is joyful........

mama forget the band i think you need to lock yourself in a cloister........ first of all insane way to break up with your daddy boyfriend and possibly the most heterosexual way it could've gone on account of the fistfighting and name-calling. second of all good for you on getting your records back 🥳 third of all im not going to advocate for it explicitly but let's just say i would welcome another ask from you in a few weeks detailing how you ended up getting your back blown out by mister coach. godspeed to you and your multitude of both sexual and antagonistic father figures 🙏

[thestrangestthing89]

Continuing from my post about Eddie being a manifestation of Will... Billy is another character I think Will manifested. Again, I think the characters that Will created are ones that have a similar backstory to him. So in this case: - Billy has an abusive father who calls him gay slurs, - He is from California (a place Will moves to in S4), - In the beginning of S3 we see a similar thing happen to Billy as what happened to Will in S1 - Billy is being chased in the dark by something, he runs to a phone to call 911, the lights flicker and he ends up flashing into the UD. Billy goes through a similar experience Will does - gets used and possessed by the MF (or the inversion of the MF that is in S3) and hurts the people around him unintentionally. - In El's void in S3, we see that Billy's mother abandoned him with his abusive father and that him and his mother were close at one point. There have been hints from Jonathan that Joyce checked out emotionally and didn't deal with Lonnie very well. We know that Jonathan is resentful about this and how he had to pick up the slack. But maybe there is a part of Will that also blames Joyce for the abuse he endured. It is pretty common for kids who have been abused to blame the other parent for not protecting them however unfair that may be. We do see Joyce since S1 doing everything she can to protect Will but there is some indication that this wasn't always the case and that she doesn't know the full story of what her boys went through. - They share a name, but Billy's personality is a 180 from Will. We see when he was a child that he was a sensitive kid who was close to his mother and he was happy. But then he goes through a lot of trauma and abuse and ends up being an abuser himself. Will on the other hand, is still a sensitive, kind kid in spite of the bad things that have happened to him. This reminds me of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Dr. Jekyll separates out all the evil impulses he has into a different person he creates (Mr. Hyde) so that he doesn't have to bear the burden of those impulses. He wants to achieve moral perfection and learns this is not possible. It fits in with the Freudian themes of the show nicely. Jekyll is ashamed and embarrassed about the things that Hyde does. There are homosexual undertones to this story - because Jekyll doesn't want to talk about the crimes Hyde has committed (at a time when homosexuality was illegal) combined with the fact that there aren't many female characters in the story implies that Hyde was gay and was representing Jekyll's repressed feelings. I think this plays into the reason Billy, Eddie, and El are created. Will is taking out all of the parts of himself he is ashamed of and "fixing" himself. Billy represents hyper-masculinity. He dates and has sex with a lot of girls. Will is making himself be what he thinks men are supposed to be like - dating around, being aggressive and dominating. The id. Eddie is the nerdy part of him and is created the season after Will gets made fun of by his friends for being nerdy. He is ashamed of himself for not growing up like them and Eddie becomes the cooler older kid who likes the same nerdy things Will does. Eddie is a freak but in a cool way. The ego. El is the more feminine side of Will. Will is called a sensitive kid several times and boys (especially in the 80s) would have been shamed for this. She does all the things that Will can't do because he's a boy - date Mike, be emotional (more on this in a different post). She is the hyper-vigilant protector. The superego.

Billy also says something interesting to Max when they are first introduced in S2 - "We are stuck here" in reference to why they are in Hawkins. Which is a story we never got completely. I know there is backstory in the books, but there is no indication this is canon. Being stuck is a big theme on the show and Will himself uses this to describe how he is feeling in S2 during the crazy together scene. In Billy (and Max's) case, the context seems like it's different since they don't explain it when they easily could during this conversation. It's kept a secret so I think it's important. I think Billy is stuck as long as Will is. But Will starts to deal with his trauma in S3 and starts projecting all of his problems onto the characters he's created (Billy and El). In Billy's case, Will no longer needs him so he ends up sacrificing himself to save everyone. Eddie does the same thing the next season. The each served their purpose. I think it's a sign of growth and healing that Will kills them off. He doesn't need to rely on them anymore and is getting stronger on his own. When he starts owning his nerdy side and makes peace with Mike (and Mike responds positively to the D&D themed painting), he no longer needs the external person to put that trait on. And I've said this before, but I don't think S3 is entirely real. Most of it seems like it's happening in Will's head. So Billy being the one who gets possessed and hurt instead of Will also falls in line with healing -the strong, macho guy isn't invincible. Will isn't weak for what happened to him. I think this was his way of coping - imagining a scenario where the bad things happened to someone else and realizing it's not his fault this happened because it could have happened to anyone. Once these characters die they "merge" back into Will. We know Will will be dealing with his abuse head on and that D&D and the party are a focus of the season. I think it's because Will is allowing these things to happen now. He was resisting them or ashamed of them before but isn't anymore. Which is also why I don't think this bodes well for El. But more on that in another post. (also the characters in relation to the created ones are interesting - Max, El's mother, Eddie's uncle - I will probably add more on that later too). Other things to note: - The "We're stuck here" line Billy says to Max in reference to being stuck in Hawkins and hating it there. Billy asks Max who's fault it is that they are stuck there and Max says it's his and he gets angry and tries to run over Mike, Lucas, and Dustin (Will is absent from this scene). Billy and Will don't directly interact in the same way Eddie doesn't interact with Will. El is the exception to this, but their interactions are very odd. They have limited screen time and a pretty superficial relationship.

- Steve tells Billy he talks too much and shortly after Will is struggling to explain himself with words so he uses art. He has all these memories that aren't his and is struggling to explain it. Billy acts like the inversion of Will. Billy is verbal where Will is emotional.

[sammy--moh]

A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated

(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)

(Cis/Hets don't touch this post

Terfs especially don't even look at this post

Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history

If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post

Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post

Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3

Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)

So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time

But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies

Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today

But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in

I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me

Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general

Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!

Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be

Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men

Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears

I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in

I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)

I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history

But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations

I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations

But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot

All of these things are me

You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/

There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit

[yr-obedt-cicero]

just curious- somewhat in relation to your fic- but do you think Eliza would have been accepting towards Alexander's and John's relationship? if she ever found out.

Nope. And I highly doubt she ever knew either.

Although we don't have anything that indicates Eliza's opinion on sodomy, it is likely safe to assume she was probably your average, period-typical, homophobic, upperclass woman. Maybe even a bit worse considering she was a devoted christian, and was just a judgmental person in general. Eliza was religious and was adamant about it all considering she was often the one instilling religion and proper Christian behaviors in her kids since Hamilton wasn't really a religious person up until the last few years of his life.

I don't see her as being anywhere near accepting, and I often see people comparing it to the Reynolds affair which is just refutable—Infidelity and affairs were actually a commonplace thing of the day, and it wasn't like the Hamiltons' were sheltered from this issue with Hamilton's own family, and their association with others like Gouverneur Morris. Hamilton and Eliza shared the same class with many couples and families that were a victim of such, so honestly, I can imagine it being more forgivable than sodomy (Plus the whole infidelity loop that twists them in since Hamilton was still in a relationship with Laurens when marrying Eliza). And that point, Eliza would have definitely left.

And there are arguments that she supposedly would have been if she didn't mind Baron von Steuben associating with the family, which leads to the unfortunate truth that; even if she did, let's say, know about the Baron's inclinations, it wasn't her choice or say who associated with the family. Ultimately it was Hamilton's, and as much as he loved his wife, I highly doubt he was consulting her about that stuff. Also it's faulty to even consider she knew, as the Baron wasn't foolish with this sort of thing—He was smart about being good with making friends with the upperclass society (Y'know, like the Schuylers'). And honestly, all the rumors surrounding around why he got discharged from the Prussian army and the conclusion being that he was gay probably weren't even true. It's more likely he was just released from service because the army was downsizing, it's incredibly hard to believe he could have just been so open about his sexuality to people, especially enough so to get discharged. If anything, the most critical thing was that he remained a bachelor. So, I highly doubt Eliza knew of that either.

And now it comes down to, would Hamilton tell her? I don't think so. Nothing suggests he ever did, and that she ever knew even after both men's deaths. Sure, Hamilton confided a lot to his wife, but this would have been too grave to share. Additionally, there wouldn't be any reason to, Laurens was dead and Hamilton ended up pushing the memory of him far away.

But since you brought up my fic, I'll add on what separates some of my opinions and then my stories; it's fiction, and despite some of my beliefs like Eliza never agreeing with this sort of thing, or that Laurens and Hamilton would have fallen out of contact had he lived, it doesn't mean I'm always going to implement the most realistic thing in a fiction story I'm writing for fun. It's all about being hypothetical, and exploring those what-if's—So, please remember I'm not always going to be displaying what I say here in my work. Sometimes I will, but in this case where SFP is just a fun little project I started writing for fun and interactions I wanted to imagine, not everything is going to be the most realistic case in scenario.

[cordycepsfem]

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Six

Previously:

EP gets an acting job and has to wear "girls" clothing which she dislikes

she also acquires a stalker

he is a Creepy Fuck

Toronto is revealed as the Raccoon Capital of the World

EP's father is the opposite of "helpful" and "sympathetic" in regards to her stalker situation and I offer my own father to EP

EP dumps herself into an eating disorder

Now:

Chapter Seven

EP decides she doesn't want her parents to come watch her film

they agree to this, which surprises her

EP stays with some friends while she films which leads to this rhapsodic writing

Speaking from experience in reinventing oneself, EP, I'm glad you were happy, but nobody thought you were a boy. You can reinvent yourself whenever you're around new people but literally everyone at that time knew you as a girl.

this happiness lasts all of a page before we get back into the shit

EP then relates multiple separate times that she experienced sexual assault and rape at the hands of people in the entertainment industry, specifically one male and one female

and then the chapter ends

I need to have a moment of levity so I will say here that I did not learn anything about Canada in this chapter and I feel like I'm missing out somewhat

but FUCK what is EP's life? I am so sad for her. This tracks immensely with what so many of us have read about girls who decide to transition: always felt out of place, possibly on the spectrum, possibly lesbians, groomed and sexually assaulted and raped by men... the more I read that showed me how EP and I were alike as kids, the more I understand how she ended up where she did and why she thought it was the right thing to do

and all I feel is sad

Chapter Eight

we return to the days of 2014 where EP came out as gay

on her speech:

on what happens to her at a party days later

"Men are predators and you're just afraid of them" is a wild thing for a predatory male to say while being predatory, very on the nose

Predatory Fuck continues being, well, predatory:

"it is going to taste like lime" opens wide an arena filled with many questions for me, yes I know it's not the time to have questions about this, but she wrote and I had to read it with my own two autistic eyes and now I am hyper-focused.

I will not share any of those questions because what the fuck is this

Predatory Fuck comes to apologize and just doubles down on being an asshole; he blames it on being drunk but swears he doesn't have a problem with gay people

EP goes on to explain how her being openly gay and trying to be her true self did not help her in the industry

Gaycation was the show where she famously said that we're all born into a homophobic world and gay people should not be made to change to feel "normal"

and based on where she ended up she did not believe herself when she said it

but let's see where this goes

apparently this goes off into the next chapter where there's sex and I am too tired, dear readers, to read that tonight, even for EP

The offer of my dad, of better family, still exists, EP. I talked to my dad tonight and he was absolutely hilarious. There are good people in the world.

[thosearentcrimes]

Read Jane Eyre by Currer BeCharlotte Brontë. It's, uh, interesting. Worth reading, for sure? I'm happy I read it, which I can't always say about the classics. Some of them try my patience, while Jane Eyre was a quick and fun read. Whether you think it is good obviously depends on how you assign aesthetic value, though. I mean I know a lot of people are less preoccupied with politics in art, and for them, go ahead, but I think only some of the political problems are separable from the basic content of the book?

Like ok the racism is almost entirely unnecessary, though obviously predictable given the time period. It really starts ramping up towards the end of the book, too? I say almost, because it's obviously connected with the recurring phrenological theme which in turn relates to the main couple of the story not being very physically attractive. Which, to be clear, is a very nice thing for a novel to include, though perhaps less so when it is related explicitly to phrenology. Whatever.

So the thing about phrenology, and racism too, of course, is that obviously Victorians overwhelmingly understood those to be significant material, biological phenomena, right. And they're super not any of those, except insofar as they have the ability to impose themselves onto the material world, and even then not very much. So when you examine reality, including historical reality, from an enlightened point of view, you can see all of that is nonsense. However, assuming we accept the construct of a fictional world, in the fictional world of Jane Eyre, racism and phrenology are super real and material biological features of persons, rather than a pile of nonsense supported by confirmation bias. It's like if you were reading a comic or watching a TV show and it turned out everyone's personalities were actually determined by their blood ty-

ANYWAY, it's funny how gay Jane Eyre looks from a modern perspective, and I'm not just projecting I swear. Like, half the time Jane meets a woman, she becomes instantly obsessed with her, forms a codependent or dependent attachment to her, starts talking about how insanely perfect and good and beautiful she is and how much her male love interest isn't good enough for her, also one time she's given a description of a pretty lady and she starts drawing the most beautiful woman she can think of to imagine what she looks like. She develops what is barely deniably a gay crush on at least three women over the course of the book. Which is two more women than men. But it's important to recognize that this was a different, substantially more homosocial time, and that the way friendship and romance are expressed has changed significantly since the differentiation of homosexuality as its own identity. Why, even quite recently people wouldn't bat an eye over this kind of female friendship. Like, it feels like every other time my mom sees another woman, she'll start talking about how beautiful and talented and great she is and how her husband isn't good enough for her, and my mom isn-

ANYWAY, one of the real strengths of the book is simply in portraying Jane Eyre thinking and responding emotionally to stuff? It feels like such a basic thing, but it turns out a lot of writing novels is about doing the basics really well. If you make your main character emotionally and intellectually comprehensible to the audience, that'll help establish the stakes and sell the narrative. You feel like you know Jane and you can see why she makes all the stupid decisions she makes, you get a sense of why such an independent and proud woman would nonetheless be instinctively submissive the way Jane is. And the narration of an adult looking back over their childhood experiences is really well done I think. Comparing to Dickens is a bit absurd, because Dickens was quite frankly a slop merchant so you have to apply a different standard, but it is crazy how bad Dickens is at pulling that narrative voice off considering it was his whole deal.

Uh, the main couple is fucked up or whatever. She's a teenager and he could be her father, and is also literally her employer. Comes with the territory, obviously, he's a werewolf or whatever, that's the point. The part where he has his wife locked up in the attic probably a bit more of a problem, though it is hilarious how everyone is worried about the whole bigamy thing, and not about the wife being locked in an attic thing. Also he's like a massive misogynist, crazy (read: normal for Victorians) levels of hating women. I'm pretty sure the reason he gets crippled and blinded in the end is so that it's remotely plausible that he doesn't start beating Jane like six months into the marriage. Given all of this, it's a wonder that Brontë genuinely manages to sell the relationship, even with the added difficulty of me shipping Jane with half the female characters in the book. A testament to her skill and my sentimentality.

Who should read this book? I dunno, I think most of you have probably read it already or something. If you want to know the classics, the literary canon, this is one that is good to read, you'll probably have fun. Be aware that there's Surprise Racism and that the main couple is Problematique. If you want to modernize it, just pretend every time they talk about phrenology they're actually talking about astrological signs.

[sneezemonster15]

I saw recently someone post a screenshot of a woman's video that read "my husband came out as gay after 20 years of together" and the screenshot poster said it's extremely cruel to waste 20 years of someone's life and pretend to be in love with them when they could find someone who actually loves them, "if you're gay and in the closet then just be single, you don't have the right to ruin someone else's life" tbh I don't know what to think, I mean I don't feel bad for Sakura and Hinata because they are selfish assholes, but about real people… I would genuinely think I had wasted my life too if my spouse suddenly told me they were never in love with me, and forever have trust issues. But I feel bad for gay men too. Or are women who end up with gay men a specific, gullible type

Except that in conservative societies where heteronormativity is institutionalised and homosexuality is criminalized, the conditions for straight women and gay men aren't the same. Closeted gay men are closeted for many reasons. Institutional punishment, ostracization, disenfranchisement. That cannot be compared with a straight woman whose feelings got hurt. I am not invalidating her feelings, but it's like comparing apples and oranges. It is unfortunate that she lived with a person who basically lied to her for 20 years but it's different from a man who has been living a lie his entire life. It's a kind of violence one can't imagine unless one has gone through something similar. Denying your identity is like denying your existence. Besides, Hinata and Sakura aren't unaware. Sakura for sure knows the nature of Sasuke and Naruto's relationship, and to a large extent, I think Hinata does too. But it suits them to ignore it as long as they are getting what they want. At least in their case, they don't come off as the hurt party. They are the ones who are benefiting from it, having trophy husbands, which is what they always wanted. If they really wanted to do something about it, they would have.

Also, I think most people talk at each other. Not with. If you really pay attention to the other person, what they say, how they say it, if you pay attention to their body language, you can tell a lot about a person. Or get some solid ideas to follow through at the least. A better part of communication is non verbal. It's very useful too. There's a lot of information to be gleaned and used later. It would be pointless to expect that Hinata and Sakura would know to do all that. Otherwise they would have been better shinobis too lol.

It's not that easy to stay in the closet and remain unattached, I know that in many countries, in joint families, no matter what, you gotta get married when the elders say so. You can't come out and you can't say no. There are other obligations too, people's lives are complex. I don't think a gay man would feel so compelled to get married to a straight woman if he had the freedom to choose and express his sexuality without stigma or prejudice.

Also love does not always have to be sexual. There have been many gay men in the past who married women, sired kids even, and yet, respected their wives, mothers of their kids. Of course, in their case, the wife knew the truth. Thomas Savage, for example. Like I said, people's lives are complex. It's not that black and white. There can be love between a gay man and a straight woman without it having to be sexual. There can be mutual love and respect, if they are both open with each other. If they aren't, they should look at the reasons why rather than playing blame games. If separation is the answer, then so be it.

[taletheoldcrowtold]

Pride - 2024: Day 2

Movie: Brokeback Mountain

Made: 2005 – Set in: 1963 – 1983

Starring: Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Michelle Williams, Anne Hathaway

Rated R for: Language, Nudity (boobies and buns), Violence and Sexual Content (a few sex scenes, mostly hetero)

Plot:

A romantic drama based on the short story by Annie Proulx, it follows Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist over the course of twenty years, starting when they met herding sheep on Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming. At the end of the summer, they go their separate ways, Ennis to his home town in Wyoming to marry his girlfriend and Jack to his home and the rodeo circuit.

It’s a bit of a slow paced movie with little humor and a lot of scenery shots. A drama that doesn’t take that title lightly, it certainly serves up the cold dish of staring, cheating and hopeful hearts soon broken.

Spoilers under Keep Reading Line

Jack dies in the end

I remember when this movie came out, I was around ten years old and never saw anyone of the same gender kiss, so when they showed it on ET (or implied they kissed, I can’t really remember) it stuck with me. I don’t remember the scene they showed but I knew what it was. It was a movie with two men in a romantic relationship. It didn’t stay with me in a bad way, but as a queer kid who didn’t know they were queer (There were a few hints looking back) I hung onto it, I guess. Though I didn’t watch it until years later when I was a late teenager but never had the chance to finish (Computer crashed and I didn’t have the energy to look for where in the movie it crashed). So this time I got to watch it from start to finish and at this point I knew how it ended and was braced for it. But we all kind of know how these movies end. That being said, I do think it was a good movie. Though you don’t see why Jack and Ennis fall in love, certainly not a kind of love that hangs on for years. They spend a lot of time together but a lot of the movie just shows brief scenes of them together and then you move on. In fact, most of the movie is them trying to be happy in a heterosexual life and only small parts of them together. If you didn’t know how it ended, you might find yourself rooting for the two to find a way to work it out. But given the time period, it would be hard to be at ease and happy. I’m not really sure if Jack was beaten to death or if Ennis just imagined it as that was something he always feared would happen. I felt like Jack’s wife knew something and maybe what she said happened to him was just a cover? It was a little awkward watching it with my mom when two men got it on in a tent, but this is day two and I have a feeling by day thirty I’ll be over it :|

Mom’s Thoughts: The movie started rather slow, showing two separate trucks arriving at a certain location and delivering the two main characters. Then they stood around waiting for the boss apparently, saying nothing to each other. Once we got past this slow start, the action picked up. Jack and Ennis get to know each other over the course of the summer and become lovers. I thought the movie depicted the climate of homosexuality in the 1960s pretty well, with the two characters trying to be “normal” young men and not be attracted to each other. The story was realistic, with scenes of the two talking and scenes of herding and guarding the sheep mixed. I’m not sure I would want to watch this movie again as it’s depressing in several places. What saddened me about this movie is that these two men felt they could not be together because of the stigma of being gay. So they spent their lives living a lie and being unhappy, not being their authentic selves. Why can’t people just accept everyone as they are and not be so hateful?

[waitmyturtles]

Okay. The Promise IS REALLY GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD! Gah, I am SO happy I picked this up.

Episode 3: we still don’t have a read on what separated Phu from Nan for 10 years. However, a few notes on why this episode was the best yet so far, despite not getting that juice yet. Some quick notes first, and then big thoughts (and I have a couple of coffee notes as a postscript):

I should have realized this earlier, but I think one reason why I’m loving this show so far is because, while much of the show is flashbacks, our two mains are in their early-going-into-their-mid-30s, and much of the show happens in the context of their professional pursuits. As an #old, me likey -- I always love generational shifts in dramas, and I definitely need more dramas with older folk. 

The sponsorship of this show is so wild, but honestly, I’m not kidding, I kinda think it works (listen, it looks like UMG’s only sponsor is for for CANNED MACKEREL, so like, how they’re going to weave CANNED MACKEREL in the show will be VERY INTERESTING, and I’m NOT looking forward to it). Why does this Devonte Men skincare framework shit work?

Because: this episode focused on Nan as a professional. And I LOVED IT. In his personal life, Nan’s a mess. Before Phu came back, he had trouble sleeping, his house was in disarray. During college, he needed to rely on Phu to keep track of his classes. Phu keeps Nan in check -- he encourages Nan to keep fit, Phu keeps Nan organized.

But in the office? We see that at least in this episode, Nan’s a G, a confident one, too. I can’t wait to get @respectthepetty‘s read on Nan’s red suit vs. the blue suit at the end, but I totally felt the red rascal vibe on Nan for the first three quarters of the show. Nan owned everything! He HUSTLED and GOT THE COFFEE SHOP FOR PHU. He nailed the first presentation with boss Ken. Nan was faltering a touch at the end, but HIS bro (not anyone else’s bro) came thru with the product samples and the dimples. Nan makes shit happen professionally -- for himself, for his team, for Phu. We didn’t get quite that strong sense during the first two episodes, but this episode clearly defined what Nan can do STRONGLY in his life. He’s not a total hot mess. 

I LOVED THIS. We know we need to learn about Phu, but Uncle Tong Khom Kongkiat is out here telling us -- there’s a story, a big story, about Nan, too, that I need to tell y’all, so that y’all have the full context you need to understand what’s happening between these two. 

And that’s why those small flashbacks to Chiang Mai and to Nan’s dad were really important. Phu and Nan, Nan and Phu -- they’ve balanced each other out for their lives. They clearly exist in an equilibrium when they’re together, and it’s so lovely to watch. I looooved that tingle of jealousy at Joe’s club, and then the ride home. It sizzled. 

When Phu was out of Nan’s life, Nan was unbalanced. I think episode 3 makes sense as Nan’s presence as a professional is depicted as so strong, because Phu is back in his life, and Nan is back in balance. 

I THINK THIS SHOW IS SO GREAT. (I totally don’t mind the whole weaving-in of the sponsorship thing. They make it work.) 

****

Okay, quick SE Asian food/coffee thoughts (y’all know I love the food context), because I actually think they’re important to the show. I could maybe make a separate post about this, à la khao man gai, but let me just put this down first. Coffee is VERY important to this show, clearly.

Oliang means coffee! Oliang is specifically Thai black iced coffee, according to Wikipedia. Man, my heart. I love that Nan named his cat Oliang. A way to honor how he missed Phu, the coffee guy, before Phu came back.

Okay, I don’t know that much about this, but it seems that a common way to brew coffee in Thailand is to brew it with spices, which, GAH, YUM. (I once had a drink here in the States called “Bangkok iced coffee,” which was cardamom-infused coffee with half-and-half and condensed milk. GOOD LORD.) Check the Wikipedia article for the different styles of iced coffee you can get in Thailand -- oh my fucking god, YUM.

Alright, kopi. (Peep the definition for Thai kopi in the oliang article linked above.) I love that Thai and Malay both share a same word for kopi, although Malaysian/Singaporean kopi looks like it’s slightly different than in Thailand, because there are many styles of “kopi” in M’sia/SG that don’t necessarily come with condensed milk. Take a look at this list on the Malaysian/Singaporean kopi Wikipedia page. 

I also don’t *think* that Malaysian/Singaporean kopi is boiled with spices (if they don’t mind the tag, my SE Asian homies @telomeke and @tireddddddddddddddd-d might know -- apologies for tagging you if you’re not watching The Promise, but kopi question over here! Is Malaysian/Singaporean kopi ever boiled with spices, as it seems to be in Thailand?)

If you’re a coffee nerd: note that in the Malaysian/Singaporean style of kopi, that the beans are roasted with salt, sugar, and margarine. There’s a style of coffee in M’sia called Ipoh white coffee, which is my personal fave, super strong, and seriously divine, if you ever get your hands on it. It’s famous in part for that roasting in margarine.

It seems that, according to the kopi Wiki article, that the kind of Thai kopi that Nan and Phu drink was actually historically inspired by the Malaysian/Singaporean way of roasting and brewing hot coffee. So putting it all together, the Thai kopi that Nan and Phu have seems to be the hot spiced coffee with condensed milk, which must be just HEAVENLYYYYYYY. Gah. (And I love love love how they reference it as “old-school coffee.” A throwback to their rural childhood.) (I am sure many of y’all have had strong Vietnamese coffee, which is also black coffee with condensed milk.)

ANYWAY. Coffee/kopi culture is big in this region, and so worth nerding out about! Anytime I can get my hands on Malaysian kopi/white coffee, I get it, and I’m certainly going to keep my eyes peeled for Thai coffee preparations now. If I’m ever lucky to get my hands on a cup of old-school Thai kopi, I’ll report back on how awesome I know it will be.