#WHY DO MY GAY MEN ALWAYS END UP SEPARATED

[paper-lilypie]

ok but that kid Mobius couldn’t prune was Loki right. like, that was Loki right. The brothers at the dock. That was Loki and Thor right. It was Loki

Mobius couldn’t kill Loki, chose his burden, and dedicated his life to him instead.

Mobius’s story started and ended with Loki. It had to be Loki.

[imaginative-123]

Why Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss have a Misandry Issue Part 1

A part of me questions myself if I have to make this post, but then I decided in my free time I finally let go of my doubts and have finally decided to make this post, bec deep inside I wanted to be honest with both of these shows how it depicts men including men who are part of the LGBTQ spectrum, the post will be me going in depth of the creator's shows, that includes the analysis and criticisms of Vivziepop's work.

TRIGGER WARNING:

This post will contain Sexual Assault, Sexual Harassment, R@pe, Power Dynamics/ Power Imbalance, Misogyny and Misandry.

If you are uncomfortable with this topic that I'm going to discuss, you can choose not to continue reading this post however if you are willing to continue regardless of the contents and sensitive topics that I'm going to discuss, please proceed with caution.

So first let's talk about Misandry, since this term isn't as well known as Misogyny, Misandry's definition is the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against men (i.e. the male sex). However Misandry is a term I didn't recognize being used until this year when I found on Reddit that there are few posts and comments talking about it compared to Misogyny, and it surprised me why isn't this term isn't as talked about but then in my experience on Twitter and Reddit that there are certain subreddits and other comments denying that "Misandry doesn't exist."

To which I disagree while yes I'm a woman, I do see and experience Misogyny in online spaces including in real world and other women face thru issues like sexism, physical and emotional abuse from other men, r@pe, sexual harassment and etc., that still doesn't excuse being biased and ignore what men faced thru in real life, there are stories I've seen from other men who were drugged and also being physically abused by their ex girlfriend or other women, r@ped and sexually abused by the older woman or in this case an older man, I've seen a video before of a guy singing on stage only to get groped on his dick by a woman and she laughed at him and at the end he was shocked and left the stage from embarrassment, falsely being accused of sexual assault, toxic yaoi fangirls sexually harassing gay or straight men of who's the top and bottom, little boys being molested or raped by older people, families and that includes male and female teachers, telling Men to stop crying bec Boys can't cry, there is also a Twitter post from a woman wishing Male Suicide rates go up, there are few Twitter posts from Women wishing to abort male babies from existing, ignoring Male SA Victims and laugh at their experience bec they got "lucky" and wish they got into their place, Media that makes jokes about Male SA and etc., seeing these stories from men who experience that really made me feel sorry for them and I don't think they deserved that. Plus, this isn't me discrediting female victims I do also support them including male victims, in regards to r@pe just bec it happens to women it can also happen to men including people on the LGBTQ community and nobody deserved to be r@ped, I'm not an SA Survivor, but I'm so glad I didn't experienced it bec of how traumatizing and horrifying r@pe is, and also a comment earlier I've seen on Reddit is that Women and children r@ped and died from the hands of men, yes I'm not denying it definitely exists but doesn't mean we can ignore that it can happen to men including little boys in the hands of their abusers and murderers. Also my brother was physically abused by my father and my sister had to witnessed the abuse on front of her, my Mom and Dad were always fighting personal problems and I was also physically abused by my father before my parents separated and it took me years for my father to changed as a person before he died in Sept 5, 2016 due to Stroke. Plus this year is his death anniversary, I understand if there are children who can't forgive their abusive parent but for me my father proved to me that he can change as a person and I have already have forgiven him before he died.

The main reason why I want to discuss Misandry bec it relates to Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss while I can see many posts discussing how poorly the main female characters are handled by Vivziepop and I completely understand why the critical community have issues with that, the issues that happened with the male characters in regards to Misandry have few posts which is why I want to tackle it.

The next topic I want to tackle is the MLM or Gay Representation in the show Helluva Boss bec this also the main reason why I made this post.

Vivziepop and her crew loved to boast and pride about their Queer Representation but as someone who watched the show, as a bisexual woman myself, the Queer Representation is just as shallow and a mixed bag to be honest, the reason for that is Viv's depiction of gay men is not only misandrist but also sexist on how they were depicted. But before we deep dive to the male gay characters on how they were depicted I wanted to focus on the term that is mostly being used on fictional gay relationships that is Yaoi. Yaoi is a Japanese term for manga that features sexual romance between men, specifically as created by and for women. In the West, yaoi is used more generally to refer to any anime, manga, fan fiction, that focuses on romance between men. Although to be fair, Yaoi from what I've seen can also be consumed by gay men, the main reason I brought up Yaoi is that because Viv's shows are being accused of stereotypes about gay men such as fetishization of r@pe, power imbalance, sexual harassment and etc. That's because Yaoi is a very controversial subject in the community where there are gay people who are split about the depictions of gay men in Yaoi and BL's, there are gay men who dislike the fetishization and that it only appeals to women but there are others who defend it as just fiction.

For me personally I don't think there's an issue with consuming Yaoi or BL's and I'm not saying women can't enjoy it, but as someone who is desensitized to the stereotypes that BL I consumed in my earlier teen years I can't just ignore the real issue, bec back then I used to be a proshipper, I used to defend artists who were being sent death threats and harassments from antis and I used to defend problematic fiction and ships and I always go thru arguments with people who don't like it, I was offensive and also not mentally well in the past but as of this year I no longer support Proshipping since I do not stand by that including my not so great behavior from the past, but that doesn't mean I will not stoop down to the same level of antis that will harass or threaten proshippers and I don't accept that. However just bec it's fiction argument, it still needs to be criticized for valid reasons, and also just bec Yaoi have stereotypes does this mean the entire genre is like this? No, there are other stories who don't fall into the same problematic stereotypes, but still sadly, Yaoi and BL is still controversial for continuing it's stereotypical depiction of gay men and it's also mostly present in Webtoons and Manhwas.

When I revisited GoatJesus' video about Examining the Yaoi ★ BL Genre where he as a gay man analyzes but also criticize Yaoi's depiction of men but also praises other shows for straying away from stereotypes and there are certain parts of the video that stood out to me that I will put here where GoatJesus talks about the main points about Yaoi. To which I edited 2 clips into 1 video.

Regarding the women who write BL or Yaoi's, I'm not against women who write that specific genre, nor I'm mysogynistic that women have no freedom to write stories, and I do believe that not many female authors fall into writing stereotypes about gay men, however this does not mean that I can't just ignore that other women and other most popular female writers who still write harmful views onto gay men and this comment under GoatJesus video sums up my main issues from that online article that was being discussed.

The reason it's related to Vivziepop, bec Viv herself a female writer still falls into writing stereotypes about gay men and I will finally discuss on the subject of Helluva Boss first before Hazbin Hotel. The first characters we will going to tackle is Blitz, the main character and founder of IMP, and he himself is also confirmed to be Pansexual.

I'll be completely honest, Blitz is an interesting character, he himself have relationship problems of his insecurities getting in his way and mostly the mistakes that he made to people whom he used to be closed with, and he usually acts as confident and arrogant and badass on the outside but deep inside he had issues, but the way the show tackles jokes that Blitz made is really uncomfortable most especially in Season 1 where he made rape threats to Moxxie and his wife Millie.

That next episodes includes making demeaning jokes to Moxxie and let's not forget sexual harassment and invading space of the Imp couple.

The biggest problem is that Blitz up until Apology Tour had never tried to apologize for making Moxxie uncomfortable and invading him and his wife's personal space, while yes it is true that Blitz himself craves for a healthy relationship that he sees in them that doesn't excuse his past actions. This is not only the issue I see in Blitz's character this is also how other characters also treat him like dirt. Let's start with Loona, Blitz was a caring but also overprotective of Loona bec he himself first discovered Loona at the adoption center for Hellhounds where he saw Loona fending herself against a male hellhound who tried to hurt her and she herself was alone and crying about how depressing her situation was, which thankfully Blitz with good intentions did finally adopted her and became her dad, throughout S1 Loona herself was like any other emo goth girl but for Blitz regardless of Loona's personality still loved her, this however changed in Spring Broken where Loona developed a crush on Vortex and that's where Blitz developed his overprotective tendencies to which when they got in the human world where Loona tried to start a conversation with Vortex until Blitz interrupted them bec he wanted to focus on the main goal of getting back their parking space from Verosika and that's where they both started arguing bec Loona thinks Blitz can't leave her alone and she told him he's not her real dad and she herself views as an adult, Blitz cannot control his overprotective tendencies and Loona tells Blitz she doesn't need him. Loona later tries to apologize but Blitz cuts her off and tells her to enjoy her break while he continues finishing his job, although after Millie defeats the fish monster they both came back in the human world, in Truth Seeker, Loona and Millie where willing to rescue the boys who were left in the human world and being abducted by the Dhorks and Loona was willing to help her team defeat the members of the Dhorks and Loona was given a kiss in the cheek by Blitz and he was proud of her for helping IMP to which she was embarrassed but still continues fighting. The episode that stood out to me is Queen Bee which is the last segment where Loona takes care of the drunk Blitz and was willing to let him rest after Blitz tells her his insecurities of his fear of dying but Loona reassures him she will be there for him.

You know maybe Loona wasn't that bad to Blitz right? Right? Wrong, in the past I used to liked Seeing Stars bec of Loona and Octavia's relationship develop like sisters, yet this however doesn't excuse the problem on how Loona treats Blitz as she's suddenly violent and being abusive to Blitz for no reason like Blitz regardless of me not excusing how he treated Moxxie, but I don't recall him sexually harassing Loona nor talking about her body, all I remember is him trying to be a good dad to Loona yet somehow he's in the wrong for wanting Loona to be better and yet at the end get kicked in the nuts for no reason despite Blitz wanting to apologize to her because?

"HAHAHA! IT'S GIRLBOSS, AND FEMINIST TO KICK MEN IN THE NUTS FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN COMEDY! PLEASE LAUGH!!!"

That's not funny, that's insulting and it definitely regressed the development of Loona and Blitz father and daughter relationship in the first season. Loona however just like Blitz had never apologized for treating people in the wrong and the show somehow forgot about it and it just went back to normal. So anyways let's talk about Stolas, Stolas is by far one of the most controversial characters in the show bec there are people being split about his character, there are fans who loved him but there are haters who truly hated him, bec there are reasons the critical space is not fond or welcome of him, that's bec he has the power in the relationship bec he and Blitz were in a transactional relationship where Blitz is required to have sex with Stolas so that he can still borrow the Grimoire book to the human world for his business of killing people. The Reason there is a Power Imbalance comes from the fact that Blitz an Imp that is a lower class demon and Stolas is from the Goetia a higher class demon above imps and not only Goetias are also racists and looked down upon Imps with the exception of Octavia. This is the common trope that you may see in problematic relationships that also includes transactional relationships in Yaoi and BL's where the Seme has the power and masculinity in the relationship while the Uke is lower and have no agency of his free will and this is the equivalent of a heternomative stereotypes that is placed upon 2 men, while there are people who analyzed Yaoi said that it have Misogynistic tropes bec of hetenormative roles places upon men, I'd say in my opinion it's more Misandrist bec it doesn't view men in an actual gay relationship but in a lens of a straight person on how they view gay men. This is however in Helluva Boss the roles are reversed since Blitz is the top while Stolas is the power bottom, but let's be real if Stolas a Rich Goetia is the Top and have power in the relationship while Blitz is the bottom in lower class it would be much more controversial and people would see it more as sexual coercion. But bec the roles are reversed and why there are fans of the ship don't view it as toxic bec Stolas a gay bottom man was babyfied by the narrative that can't do wrong in the relationship and that Stolitz is just a misunderstanding of bad communication in a relationship when if anyone with critical lens would look deeper and see the relationship as problematic and there is a power imbalance in their relationship yet I found out that one of the fans of HB said that Stolitz is meant to be endgame by Viv, and I was like did Viv see nothing wrong in their relationship? The relationship was built from transaction, including Stolas sexually harassing Blitz in front of his daughter, was the result of cheating from his wife Stella as to why she was rightfully upset at her husband and it was retconned in Season 2 to make her a cartoonish villain with no depth compared to Stolas, and they were supposed to be canon at end? No thank you, Ma'am, Blitz deserved a better partner than Stolas or hell he could've fixed his relationship with Verosika since I found their relationship more interesting than Stolitz, yet Blitz was the one who should apologize to Stolas instead of Stolas taking accountability and not apologizing for looking down on him, sexually harassing him and having the power in the relationship. It's just frustrating to watch that not only diminishes the YT views of S2 compared to S1 but the relationship overtakes the premise of the show about assassination. Doesn't help the fact the show has the will they don't they kind of relationship where the show finds Stolitz to be romantic but also not romantic at the same just like how Viv and her writing staff view them.

Now let's talk about Chaz, he's the character I truly hate on my first viewing of him last year when the episode was released, he's the embodiment of everything wrong with Helluva Boss with it's overused of sex jokes relating to male genitalia or dick jokes and sexual harassment, the guy was just only part of Crimson's Mafia and being both Moxxie and Millie's ex boyfriend. His only character was just being annoying, talks about how sexy he was, his dick, sexually harassing Moxxie and annoying Millie and we don't exactly know why they break up, and his music theme is annoying to listen to. It's even worse that he's Pansexual and just like the main male characters in the show where they nonstop talk about their genitalia like Blitz, I'm serious what's the purpose of his character anyway? He almost serves no purpose to the narrative unless it was just him marrying Moxxie so he can get into Crimson's wealth. I'll be completely honest I'm glad he died, I felt so frustrated to watch him, and unfortunately he had a cult fanbase dedicated to him and there are others like me who don't like him either. I feel like I'm questioning Viv's view on gay men is disturbing to be honest.

Lastly, I wanna talk about Moxxie, my dear poor bisexual Moxxie, he was the character who was the the victim of sexual harassment, the butt of jokes, being humiliated for being in a healthy relationship with Millie that is being set in Hell. I do feel bad for how he was treated by the narrative that involves around SA, the show constantly makes jokes about Moxxie being SA by Verosika and her crew including Chaz and Blitz,

Doesn't help the fact in which he was forced to marry Chaz when he's also forced to wear a Wedding Dress against his will and was being tied up and turned to a damsel in distress for Millie to saved him, I'll be completely honest, I have no issues with Moxxie being Bisexual, the issue comes from the fact that the female and male characters humiliate and SA him and was being forced to a feminine role against his will, it's one thing if a gay man wants to express freely his sexuality and I have no issue with that, men can express being gay and not be shamed for it. The issue was that Moxxie was being forced against his will and it was irritating to see him like that, the last time the show never humiliates him is when he licks Blitz Asmodeus crystal to help him to activate and go back to the human realm bec Blitz conveniently can't activate it himself. However this does not excuse how the past episodes treat him.

This is the post I will make for Helluva Boss bec I have to rest and I will make a second post about Hazbin Hotel when I have time since there's a lot of stuff to unpack in another post. Just a reminder, this post I made have no bad intentions towards Vivziepop and her staff, this is just me a Bisexual Woman who consumes BL who was also being critical of the genre that I'm consuming and giving my personal and honest thoughts of Viv's depiction of her Gay men in her shows. Just a reminder if you want to comment on my post that's fine but I do not accept bigotry and homophobia, bec I might as well block you, all I want is a personal discussion of the gay representations being represented in the show. Thank you and Goodnight.

Edit: I just found out that there is a minor retweeted my post while I do understand that they are also critical of the show however my account says Minors do Not Interact since my post also tackles adult themes that is not suitable for minors and also I personally disagree with their views on Lucifer but regardless, if a minor sees this post please do not interact. Bec I might as well block you, I don't think an adult like me should be discussing adult stuff in front of minors in online spaces.

[derfpossessions]

Rented You Out - Part 1

Ever tried on a suit? Perhaps borrowed someone else's? Or you could've gotten it from a Suit Rental? Well let me tell you about a story of a man, whose body LITERALLY got rented out. So grab your ☕️, grab your 😸, because it's about to get WILD from here, well at least for our main boy.

Meet Denholm Gauthier, the 18-year old boy in 12th Grade, ready to graduate in a few months, but still have no decisions towards what to do in his life. He is a well-loved and kind student at his high school, and as the leader of the Football team and President of the Student Council, oh he's got it all. Plus, he's the class Valedictorian. So why is he such in a lost position? He had always seeked purpose in his life, though no one seemed to give him a damn since he's literally a privileged, handsome white dude. Everyone's got their own shit. To everyone's surprise, Denholm once mentioned that he didn’t want his life AT ALL, to which everyone got outraged about, saying “WHY NOT?!?”. Well, with this story unfolding, I guess I can say he found his purpose.

Chapter 1: Kidnapped

And so we begin. It was psychology class and the classroom was having a heated debate about the human mind and body. It escalated between the nerds too much that a fight could’ve broke out but thanks to Denholm it was de-escalated fast.

“It’s fine Mr Watkins, this topic was a bit controversial if I’m going to be honest with you. But I believe that our human minds are its own unique ways, and one could never be another person.”, he stated as he made the others calm down.

“Well that’s what you thought.” The quiet kid said. His name was Stanley. He’s the kid that sits in so much envy while watching Denholm rise up in the podium of popularity. He was always jealous of him. He wanted to live like him. Heck, he wanted to be him.

“What was that bro?” Denholm politely asked. Stanley didn’t replied, so Denholm’s just shrugged it off and packed his bag.

Lunchtime was up, and Denholm ate with Markus, who’s his childhood and best friend. Denholm long knew then that Markus likes other men, but Markus never really showed him that he wanted Denholm to be more than friends. Though with that said, Denholm is a very liberal person, and of course, a straight ally, which is not what Markus wanted but more than enough to keep them as friends.

“Hey bro! What’s up?” Denholm excitingly said to Markus.

“Nothing much, just tired of life as always.” Markus said.

“Why’s that so? You have friends and family!” Denholm replied.

“Well I don’t want this life. So stressful and so pressured. I wish I could be just as charismatic and attractive and NORMAL as YOUR life!” Markus said with a raising voice.

“Wha… is that what you feel about my life?” Denholm was shocked. Markus raised his voice on him again, which he typically does to cover his feelings of desire towards him. It’s really hard for a gay man like Markus to try and not fall face flat with his feelings towards straight boy hottie Denholm.

“You know my life isn’t easy too. I wish I could live as simpler as any other person.” Denholm sighed.

“Oh I’m sorry..” , Markus said. Denholm hugged him, and so the feelings came in again. Markus’ manhood was rising a little bit high that time, but not too high for Denholm to notice. It was almost like Markus wanted to kiss him on the spot, but he didn’t forgot his dignity and so he didn’t do it.

There was a student council meeting afterschool, so Denholm had to leave the last period early. While walking down the hallway, he saw a black van parallel parking in the lot. It was quite peculiar to see a car parking at that time. He wanted to investigate it but was running late for the meeting, so he ignored it.

The meeting had finally ended. Denholm separated with his classmates because his locker was at the other exit of the school, and now, he’s secured from the hands of evil. “I love you.”, said by Denholm to his girlfriend as he leaves the school through the back exit. As he was leaving, the black van he suspected earlier, was open. He was grabbed by two men wearing balaclavas and shoved him into the backseat.

Denholm tried to talk but his voice was muffled caused by the tape on his mouth. A silhouette of a teenager was seen from the car mirror, but that teenager quickly turned it away to get prevented from being seen. Helpless, Denholm tried everything he can to get unleashed, but it was no use. The two men started injecting something on his back, it wasn’t a syringe, rather a sharp wired material that penetrated his spine, and later his whole body. As he was agonizing in pain, the kid from the front seat was giggling, enticed to see the pain Denholm was going through. They then started to dig down his back even further, almost as if they were cutting it wide open like a zipper. As he can no longer tolerate the pain, Denholm passed out from exhaustion.

Chapter 2: I Am My Bestie

Nightfall came, and Denholm’s parents were very worried. His girlfriend along with his father seeked help from the police, to which they saw the van that took him away. Markus, who thought that the men might have put Denholm captive at school, drove straight there during the night.

To by his surprise, he saw Denholm lying down in the locker room. He screamed, “DENHOLM!!” As he tried waking him up. He tried to lift his body upwards but noticed something strange. His body was a little lightweight.. almost hollow.

As Markus went to see Denholm’s face, his eyes looked… empty. Something wasn’t right. It only took a matter of time until he discovered that Denholm had a huge rip on his back, with a little switch attached to his neck. Markus kept shrugging Denholm to awake him but there was no use. He then examined the rip, and accidentally opened it, which revealed Denholm’s insides with literally nothing in it. Just a hollow mold.

“My friend’s… a bodysuit?!?!?” Markus started to panic. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what he would tell to Denholm’s parents. So he kept trying to wake Denholm up, but he’s no longer there. There was only one choice. If Denholm WAS an empty suit for someone to wear, then someone must wear him for the meantime, and who would that be none other than Markus. “I’m so sorry, I love you.” Markus started to tear up. He then stripped off his clothes. He started to insert his legs and feet into Denholm’s empty body. Markus was a bit larger than Denholm’s so it was a tight fit. the warmness of the insides then slowly binded Markus’ legs onto his. There was no turning back. Next, he put on the torso, and leaned Denholm’s head forward for now. It was almost complete. The last thing to do is to put on the head. As Markus was putting Denholm’s face like a mask, it frightened him too much that he started suffocating. In the outside it looked like an expressionless Denholm but you can hear Markus grasping for air. He eventually fell to the groubd and passed out.

The next time Markus woke up, he was at the floor. His body was glistening with sweat, or should I say, Denholm’s body. He tried to get and up and looked around, then exhaled to see that he can breathe again. His breath smelled like Denholm’s, which shocked him a lot. He paused and saw the mirror, with Denholm reflecting back to him. “De..Denholm??”, Markus said. The voice still sounded like Markus wearing a mask, which was muffled, so Markus adjusted Denholm’s face to fit his even more. And so the face finally locked in. “Denholm??” He said again. This time the voice sounded EXACTLY like Denholm. He started to rub his new wavy hair, and touch his new skin in his face. He also noticed his eyes even changed. Rubbing it through, he no longer has curly hair or dark skin, and his smell noticeably also disappeared, revealing a musky, bold smell from Denholm.

He admired Denholm’s hair, torso, biceps, and stroked his 6.8-inch dick. He then started putting on his clothes, and covered up the switch with a bandage. He looked at the mirror again and said, “Sorry Denholm, baby, but I need to drive you for now.” and kissed goodbye to his reflection in the mirror.

Now that Markus holds Denholm’s life, it was time to tell the news to Denholm’s family. Going home a bit excited, he rushed into Denholm’s house where a worried mother and father rushed in to receive him in open arms. “We missed you so much honey!”, Marta said to her “son” while embracing him. Markus felt a wholesome rather never-before feeling at that moment, as his parents were divorced and was put into care by his evil grandparents. This experience has become a chance for Markus to feel the life he deserved to have: a loving family, popular, charming, spoiled, everything that he ever dreamed of. Besides his sexual desires in the love of his life’s body, it was a chance for him to enjoy a new life of his own.

Chapter 3: Denholm Slayy

Morning came and Markus woke up refreshed, and opened his phone to see that he still has Denholm’s face while looking at the front camera. “Good morning, babe”, Markus started teasing himself. Suddenly something raised from under the blankets. Markus felt aroused by Denholm’s morning look so much that he decided to have a little bit of fun before getting through his day.

He let out a quick moan as he started grabbing onto Denholm’s elastic manhood. And there he unleashed loads and loads of cum which splashed through the whole bedroom. He didn’t even gave a damn into how he’s gonna clean all that mess. Then he admired himself in the mirror then started kissing it. “Oh I wish you were fucking me like this baby. Such a slay”, Markus groaned as he breathed in great intervals. He was having the time of his life.

“Babe??? Babee, I came to pick you up!” that was Paula, Denholm’s girlfriend, picking him up to go to school. Markus got alarmed by this. How was he supposed to clean all that cum on the wall? He quickly got up from the bed and took a dirty shirt from the laundry to wipe off all the stains from the walls and floors. Then he put on a shirt before opening the door. “Babe! What took you so long?? Also why are you not dressed yet we’re already late!” Paula said. “Sorry babe, got a bit hazy from last night that’s all.” Markus replied. “Well if you want to talk about it, we can spend the day together”, said Paula as she seductively touches Denholm’s cheeks. “No it’s alright, besides you have a test today and we must put our studies first right?”, Markus said while feeling anxious. “Ok! I’ll wait for you downstairs while you get ready.” Paula replied.

“Babe babe… Babe my ASS.” Markus side-eyes Paula as she left. “You know Denholm, you don’t deserve this annoying slut!” Markus said while berating Denholm’s reflection in the mirror. “This is why I’m GAY! UGH! If only you were mine… But for now, I am you. I will make the most of it.” Markus said while getting dressed. He put on a new bad boy look for Denholm, compared to the plain shirts that Denholm used to pull off with. Markus did a grin in the mirror as he admired his ideal look for Denholm.

“Oh daddy, you’re really such a fine person. I hope we get to bond more like this again.” Markus sighed. He then headed off to school with Paula.

———

It was now the afternoon. No one has seemed to have noticed that Denholm was being controlled by another person, as Markus has studied every single inch of how Denholm moves and speaks, which counts to the amount of obsession he has towards his homie. But there was one person that wasn’t convinced by the act though. While walking down the street, Paula confronted Denholm/Markus. “Babe, is everything alright? You seem distant.. detached today…”. Markus started to get nervous again, not knowing what details to say to her. “Babe its nothing.. look, I’ll head home now. Maybe I just needed a rest.” He replied.

Markus was finally back at Denholm’s room. It was now late at night. He took off his clothes and decided to lie down. “Maybe I should… do it again..” As Markus tried to stand up, suddenly he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he was suffocating through latex. He then started gagging until he choked. It was the suit. He tried leaning on to something, but eventually the sweat that accumulated the suit made him trip down and struggle to get up. It felt like he was about to die, something was crushing him from the inside. Desperate, he tried unzipping off from the suit, which worked perfectly well. Markus finally got out of Denholm again, after over a day of using him. Both of them were covered in sweat, with Markus hyperventilating as he stared at Denholm’s lifeless body.

[lady-of-the-puddle]

Hello hello, it is time once again for, you guessed it!

Rating Clu's

Homoerotically tense

Relationships

I thought long and hard about this because I only had about 2 in my head when I mistakenly threw it out there in another post but like, here you go 😎

Have a picture in case you forgot what cgi Jeff Bridges looks like:

Behold, a guy. Anyway

1. Kevin

He is the most obvious so I'll get this one out of the way

You are me and I am you but you are the darkest parts of me but I love you anyway

This begs the question:

Would you fuck your darker self/clone

Idk about u but my heart tells me that Kevin sure would

7/10 it's about the man vs self of it all

2. Jarvis (why is this photo so fuckin big??)

I know I said Kevin is the most obvious

But this guy has the biggest crush on Clu

He is simp supreme

Like the way he turns to Clu for approval after everything he says makes me feel like I should leave the room

He loses a point for being a dork coward but Sam's mascara is very pretty and he's also a Flynn so I can't blame him too much

9/10 go henchboy go

3. Rinzler

Fellas, is it gay to brainwash god's most specialest boyfriend and make him loyal to only you all while knowing god is still out there and can see what you've done to everything he loves? All while knowing he's nothing more than a pet and will never love you and wouldn't even if he could

Like talk about the ultimate rebound

No notes honestly, I don't even need to go on with this one

11/10 not even one girl(Quorra) could make this all seem a little less gay

4. Dyson

Another case of yoinking your exes boy but this time it was consensual

He literally just agrees with Clu and helped him take over

If that's not a basis for a strong relationship then idk what is

He really seems so desperate to stay in Clu's favor like he must know that tron is the real prize here, his bitter ex. Has there ever been so much dating drama between programs?

5/10 replaceable.

5. Sammy

It occurs to me now that he hasn't made it on these lists yet so everyone clap for him

I feel brave for even acknowledging this one

Is Clu his dad? Is he an entity separate but still containing qualities of his father at a certain point in time that forever diverged from the moment of conception? Idk he's a computer man

So like the part where he's just kinda circling Sam looking him up and down like he's a prized pig? Yeah.

CAUTION THIS IS A JOKE please for the love of Kevin don't cancel me over this

2/10 why the 2? Cause there's fics out there man I know it

6. Zuse

He's so babygirl

Clu even mixed him a drink before he blew him up

I love their dynamic I get the feeling if Clu had to spend more than 5 minutes around him he'd strangle him much sooner

Stoic asshole with the silly asshole

Honestly they're perfect for each other

10/10 what can I say? I'm a simple program I see two men interact and I rate them

Special mention:

7. Quorra

Now some of you might say, hey Puddle Girl, this isn't homoerotic at all she's a girl

Well they're programs so gender isn't real and also they're bi so it counts

Anyway I thought about this one cause there was this weird tense moment towards the end of the movie where Quorra is captured and Clu's just like, talking to her and touches her hair and it was uncomfortable but it also made me feel some type of way

Like I understand that it's 100% a power play BUT

😏

3/10 he was gonna add her to the boyfriend collection cause all he does is steal from Kevin

Hi in honor of my Tron themed birthday I finally finished this. I was really reaching for some of these as you can see but I can't take it too seriously anyway. I'm always here for the gay of it all but is it homoerotic or do they just need to put more people who aren't men in this franchise? We'll literally never know! 🙃

Hey @soihadthisdreamonce I'm sorry 5-10 business days turned into 5-10 business weeks I was moving and time got away from me but I didn't forget you

[zodiyack]

Closed Doors

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x (nonship)daughter!Reader, Shelby family x (nonship)Shelby!Reader, Best friend character x fem!reader lol

Warnings: slight angst, fear of homophobia?, fluff, mention of drinking

Words: 414

Request: Hi! I was wondering could you do a pesky blinders fic where the reader is Tommy’s daughter and is gay but too afraid to come out until he finds her making out with her best friend one day (much like your Tommy’s son fic but with a lady?)

Note: oh god i haven't been able to write for a while, and im posting this on mobile (also meaning it'll take a bit to put it on my master list) regardless i hope it's okay. I also forgot who all is on the taglist now, this is just the taglist from when i saved this as a draft. Hope you enjoy!

Taglist: @matth1w, @redspaceace-writes, @fandom-puff, @darling-i-read-it, @simonsbluee, @captivatedbycillianmurphy, @jenepleurepasbaby, @sebastianstanslefteyebrow, @stuckysslag, @psychkunox, @i-love-superhero, @marquelapage, @peakyxtommy, @stydia-4-ever, @babylooneytoonz, @livlaughquinn​, @bubsonnobx​

Masterlist | Peaky Blinders Masterlist

Tommy walked along the street, pointing out random boys and joking with his brothers. "Wonder what kind of lad Y/N will end up with..." Not that he'd accept just anyone in his daughter's life.

Arthur snorted, "any guy out here would have to go through me. John and you too, no doubt."

John and Thomas nodded with a hearty laugh. "They'd have to fight that friend of hers too, she never leaves her side."

The men continued to bicker and chortle on their walk to the house.

"Hello Mr. Shelby!" Sonia chimed. Sonia was always welcomed, Y/N's best friend. She never had to ask, simply walk through the front door. He greeted her back as she sped up the stairs to Y/N's room, closing the door behind her.

After a few hours, and after the rest of the company went out, Thomas decided he wanted to go to Garrison. As he was the only one home, aside from the two girls, he made his way up the stairs to notify them of his absence.

The courtesy of knocking escaped him as he pushed her door open, the payment for such action taking a gasp from his parted lips. Before him was the sight of his daughter and her best friend, lips upon each other's, quickly separating at the sound of the door.

"Dad-" Y/N's eyes welled with tears, crushing Tommy's heart, and seemingly Sonia's as she looked to her friend with concern.

"Mr. Shelby, I promise-"

"Don't." He looked down and leaned against the door frame. "Why do you feel the need to hide away? Why couldn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry..." She sobbed quietly.

"Don't be. It's who you are, what is there to be sorry about?"

Sonia perked up, "you're not mad?"

Thomas let out a genuine chuckle. "Why would I be?"

"My parents...they weren't too fond of my attraction to Y/N. We feared that you'd feel the same." He felt empathy for the shaking girl, her gaze averted in shame.

"I take pity that your parents are ignorant. You cannot control who you love. In this case, it's my daughter. My only asks, are that you treat her well..."

The girls looked hopeful, staring at him anticipating his continuation. "And?"

"And that you keep the door open when you're in her room. I trust that you can respect these requests. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to go to the Garrison and have a drink."

-

Bonus:

"do you think he's drinking because of us?" Sonia asked fearfully.

Y/N chucked, "no, he just likes to drink."

[mysterycat-ism4]

i keep thinking about this lately so I'll post to stop thinking about it so much. so.

they say gender and sex are different things. but you can not claim that and say that words "woman" and "man" and all alike are words that mean gender. if you think about it, "woman" and "man" mean both sex and gender in some way, if we define gender as "set of stereotypes forced on people because of their sex". "woman" has always meant an adult female human and with being a woman people are associating a certain set of stereotypes and also people often use "woman" and "man" to mean gender like "he's so woman-like" (works for other ways to point out someone's sex, too, like "she got balls" and stuff) so, yeah, you could say "woman" and "man" and all alike mean sex and (imply) gender.

so back to why you can't use "woman" and "man" to mean only gender. very simple point actually, it already means sex. you can not just act like it doesn't mean that anymore because you said so, not only do these words were used for centuries in both ways but also it was always to mean sex first and only after it implies gender.

so how can you keep saying that sex and gender are different while also calling female humans "(trans)men" and male humans "(trans)women"? if you do then you believe that having certain behaviours or appearance makes you both different sex and gender which does not really align with you saying "gender and sex are different things". or a secret third thing: you think sex doesn't exist and there's only gender(you're denying physical reality over a social concept!). which is kind of a whole other thing to talk about. (I did end up talking about it a little in the end)

in my opinion, the way to say "gender and sex are different things" and not be a liar(or well, one of the steps to it) is to actually separate sex from gender, or separate gender from words like "woman" and "man". in fact, it has already been done! words "masculinity" and "feminity" literally describe gender perfectly. it means a certain set of stereotypes which are usually expected from members of certain sex but using which to describe someone does not mean that they are a member of that sex (like if I'll say "she's a masculine woman" I will not mean that she's a man, but a woman whose behaviour or appearance in one or another way resembles behaviour or appearance which is usually expected from men).

separating gender in sex in this way has actually so many benefits! it clears out the endless confusion and argue in modern western spaces regarding sexuality and women's rights. this separation is being followed by the recognition of sexuality being an attraction to certain sex(es), so words "lesbian", "gay", "bisexual" and "heterosexual" will have a clear meaning. and by recognition of the fact that misogyny is a sex based oppression.

if any of what I said in this post is somehow offensive or wrong or even transphobic to you then you're either lying about thinking that sex and gender are different things and/or you're trying to reconceptualise sex, only sex is not a concept but a material reality which you can not reconcept. it's just there. not much to do about it! at least not without harming your body(for such reason as different social recognition??!!). what you can do though, is reconceptualise gender. or just abolish it completely.

[officialpenisenvy]

confession, being an update regarding the guy i'm fucking who told his neighbour that i'm his son, and also some other crises:

first, i did actually end up calling him dad, it was on accident and in a stupid context and now he's mad at me (i was the cunt here). the incident being: we went out then back to his, i was about to blow him, but then he said something which reminded me of other guys who used to tell me that same thing, so i had a minor mental breakdown and called him a pervert and a homo (funny thing to call the guy you were about to fellate) and generally trying to macho my way into coming out of this interaction looking straight and normal (not possible). he tried to get me out of it by slapping me, i got more mad, at this point i'm trying to fight him but not doing a very good job (blind drunk, first attempt missed his face and hit the side of his neck, felt like a massive loser), also i'm calling him dad by then. now he's calling ME a pervert back and like yeah he has a leg to stand on here (i didn't) and then i throw up on his shoes and he kicks me out. texted him an apology a few days ago but it was atrociously bad because of my ego and he hasn't replied yet so unless i accidentally run into him while we're both drunk he should probably start thinking how to tell his nosy neighbours why his son doesn't visit anymore.

second, i am glad to announce i found the old keys to my dad's apartment so i went in while he was at work and took back my records that he stole from me when my parents separated. so i win. sadly i found out i owe him money which i won't pay but i'm mad like, conceptually.

third i'm back with my coach from childhood who in retrospect was highly inappropriate and also excessively violent with me but back then i thought it was normal because of, i mean because of my dad probably right, also the one time i can remember thinking something was off he said it was very normal between two men in sport and i fully 100% believed him for years and later got surprised when my football coach was just a normal man basically. but i quit that sport at 14 because i became attracted to him and thought that was gay of me so i legged it. anyway i'm back because he's the only guy training that style in my city so for a year now i'm grappling him or another trainee but under his watch multiple times a week more or less and wires get very crossed and he's still a pervert which is not good for me... advocating for pederasty to preserve my dignity here.

i feel i always unload a sack of rocks upon your blog but i'm bad at shutting up. in unrelated news - joined a band, doing a show tomorrow and opening with black dog which is fun. singer is in the habit of trying to shriek like robert while being... nearly a baritone, but i think it's beautiful when singers kill their voices while young so i encourage it. i hope the rest of your day is joyful........

mama forget the band i think you need to lock yourself in a cloister........ first of all insane way to break up with your daddy boyfriend and possibly the most heterosexual way it could've gone on account of the fistfighting and name-calling. second of all good for you on getting your records back 🥳 third of all im not going to advocate for it explicitly but let's just say i would welcome another ask from you in a few weeks detailing how you ended up getting your back blown out by mister coach. godspeed to you and your multitude of both sexual and antagonistic father figures 🙏

[thestrangestthing89]

Continuing from my post about Eddie being a manifestation of Will... Billy is another character I think Will manifested. Again, I think the characters that Will created are ones that have a similar backstory to him. So in this case: - Billy has an abusive father who calls him gay slurs, - He is from California (a place Will moves to in S4), - In the beginning of S3 we see a similar thing happen to Billy as what happened to Will in S1 - Billy is being chased in the dark by something, he runs to a phone to call 911, the lights flicker and he ends up flashing into the UD. Billy goes through a similar experience Will does - gets used and possessed by the MF (or the inversion of the MF that is in S3) and hurts the people around him unintentionally. - In El's void in S3, we see that Billy's mother abandoned him with his abusive father and that him and his mother were close at one point. There have been hints from Jonathan that Joyce checked out emotionally and didn't deal with Lonnie very well. We know that Jonathan is resentful about this and how he had to pick up the slack. But maybe there is a part of Will that also blames Joyce for the abuse he endured. It is pretty common for kids who have been abused to blame the other parent for not protecting them however unfair that may be. We do see Joyce since S1 doing everything she can to protect Will but there is some indication that this wasn't always the case and that she doesn't know the full story of what her boys went through. - They share a name, but Billy's personality is a 180 from Will. We see when he was a child that he was a sensitive kid who was close to his mother and he was happy. But then he goes through a lot of trauma and abuse and ends up being an abuser himself. Will on the other hand, is still a sensitive, kind kid in spite of the bad things that have happened to him. This reminds me of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Dr. Jekyll separates out all the evil impulses he has into a different person he creates (Mr. Hyde) so that he doesn't have to bear the burden of those impulses. He wants to achieve moral perfection and learns this is not possible. It fits in with the Freudian themes of the show nicely. Jekyll is ashamed and embarrassed about the things that Hyde does. There are homosexual undertones to this story - because Jekyll doesn't want to talk about the crimes Hyde has committed (at a time when homosexuality was illegal) combined with the fact that there aren't many female characters in the story implies that Hyde was gay and was representing Jekyll's repressed feelings. I think this plays into the reason Billy, Eddie, and El are created. Will is taking out all of the parts of himself he is ashamed of and "fixing" himself. Billy represents hyper-masculinity. He dates and has sex with a lot of girls. Will is making himself be what he thinks men are supposed to be like - dating around, being aggressive and dominating. The id. Eddie is the nerdy part of him and is created the season after Will gets made fun of by his friends for being nerdy. He is ashamed of himself for not growing up like them and Eddie becomes the cooler older kid who likes the same nerdy things Will does. Eddie is a freak but in a cool way. The ego. El is the more feminine side of Will. Will is called a sensitive kid several times and boys (especially in the 80s) would have been shamed for this. She does all the things that Will can't do because he's a boy - date Mike, be emotional (more on this in a different post). She is the hyper-vigilant protector. The superego.

Billy also says something interesting to Max when they are first introduced in S2 - "We are stuck here" in reference to why they are in Hawkins. Which is a story we never got completely. I know there is backstory in the books, but there is no indication this is canon. Being stuck is a big theme on the show and Will himself uses this to describe how he is feeling in S2 during the crazy together scene. In Billy (and Max's) case, the context seems like it's different since they don't explain it when they easily could during this conversation. It's kept a secret so I think it's important. I think Billy is stuck as long as Will is. But Will starts to deal with his trauma in S3 and starts projecting all of his problems onto the characters he's created (Billy and El). In Billy's case, Will no longer needs him so he ends up sacrificing himself to save everyone. Eddie does the same thing the next season. The each served their purpose. I think it's a sign of growth and healing that Will kills them off. He doesn't need to rely on them anymore and is getting stronger on his own. When he starts owning his nerdy side and makes peace with Mike (and Mike responds positively to the D&D themed painting), he no longer needs the external person to put that trait on. And I've said this before, but I don't think S3 is entirely real. Most of it seems like it's happening in Will's head. So Billy being the one who gets possessed and hurt instead of Will also falls in line with healing -the strong, macho guy isn't invincible. Will isn't weak for what happened to him. I think this was his way of coping - imagining a scenario where the bad things happened to someone else and realizing it's not his fault this happened because it could have happened to anyone. Once these characters die they "merge" back into Will. We know Will will be dealing with his abuse head on and that D&D and the party are a focus of the season. I think it's because Will is allowing these things to happen now. He was resisting them or ashamed of them before but isn't anymore. Which is also why I don't think this bodes well for El. But more on that in another post. (also the characters in relation to the created ones are interesting - Max, El's mother, Eddie's uncle - I will probably add more on that later too). Other things to note: - The "We're stuck here" line Billy says to Max in reference to being stuck in Hawkins and hating it there. Billy asks Max who's fault it is that they are stuck there and Max says it's his and he gets angry and tries to run over Mike, Lucas, and Dustin (Will is absent from this scene). Billy and Will don't directly interact in the same way Eddie doesn't interact with Will. El is the exception to this, but their interactions are very odd. They have limited screen time and a pretty superficial relationship.

- Steve tells Billy he talks too much and shortly after Will is struggling to explain himself with words so he uses art. He has all these memories that aren't his and is struggling to explain it. Billy acts like the inversion of Will. Billy is verbal where Will is emotional.

[sammy--moh]

A random ramble about my identity, modern queer community and queer history bc I'm hyperfixated

(I don't want slur discourse under my post. I reclaim words that have been directly used to oppress me only and only towards myself, that's where the conversation ends)

(Cis/Hets don't touch this post

Terfs especially don't even look at this post

Anti kink fuckers don't look at this post, kink and LGBT are separate things but you cannot untangle kink history from queer/LGBT history

If your against the use of the word queer, don't clown on this post

Queer cis people are free to interact and add their opinions but don't clown on this post

Trans people and queer punks and activists please interact <3

Any corrections are welcomed as long as their constructive)

So you could probably find a few posts of me talking about some of my more modern and neo/xeno identity labels, its something I'm fairly proud of I'm a neo pronoun user and have been out as a nonbinary man for a long time

But I don't think I talk about my more, I guess classical and older queer labels and that feels disingenuous because I do still love queer history and have a lot of what would be considered ""outdated"" identieies

Yeah I'm a neo user and have some xeno gender labels, and I'm T4T which as far as I know is a label thats been around a long time but its still common and normally used today

But im also just a gender nonconformist(sometimes i use and reclaim the words transexual and transvestite just to piss off cis people who say i cant), i unapolgetically reclaim the word f4g, im in the leather community, I'm a fem man, im a cub, all things that have been around maybe since the 60s - 70s that I/still/ find connection to, comfort and community in

I mean hell I usually consider myself to currently be in a masc 4 fem relationship which you'd probably never guess by just looking at me

Which is another thing! Why is it always assumed that cubs and bears are the mascs?? I think I have more traditionally feminine clothing and presentation then most of my twink friends, I am a big, fat, extroverted, hairy cub and I am still the fem in one of my relationships and very feminine and fem presenting in general

Obviously masc 4 fem is not the only kind of mlm and wlm relationship that's stupid sndnd and expecting it is heteronormative, some people are masc 4 masc,fem 4 fem, heck not everyone /likes/ traditional masc fem labels and that's awesome!

Another thing I don't see a lot of people talk about is the fact that the bear and cub community is objectively a body positivity movement, that's what it started as that's what it always will be

Bear culture was a reaction to the beauty standards of gay culture at the time, when the ideal in gay relationships were young, thin, conventionally attractive gay and bi/multisexual men

Bear culture was specifically made to appreciate, lift up, and love large, hairy,sometimes older gay and bi/multsexual men and cub culture branched off from bears

I'm gonna be honest, I am recovering from a few body image issues and disorders that I wont go in depth on, and bear + cub culture has helped me to love myself and my body and find myself attractive more than any other body positivity space! Not to say other body positvity spaces arent important and needed, but that as a queer trans man this one has been the space I felt the most welcomed in

I wish there were a few expectations we could leave behind, like the idea that bears and cubs only date other bears and cubs, that terms like bear, twink, otter, leather gay, ect are gay exclusive and not just mlm and nwlnw terms, that fem and masc culture are gay and lesbian exclusive (dont come at me there are several moments in history we see these terms used by bi and generally queer men and that show masc and fem culture in bi and generally queer spaces)

I wish I could find more people like me in history, trans men who weren't masc, transmen and transmascs that were unapologetically feminine, I want to find transman queens in history, trans gay and mlm men, it's hard to find.. but I'm almost positive there has to be at least some people like me in queer history

But in general there's so much we can learn and keep from older queer culture that I feel has been lost a lot with younger generations

I love modern queer culture and neo/xeno labels and communities ans MOGAI and the breakdown of gender norms and sexual expectations

But im also unapolgetically a fem, leather loving, kinkster, trans fucking, fat cub, cross dressing faggot

All of these things are me

You cannot untangle or separate these identieies and labels from /me/

There are riots and loss in my history, and there is raw, unapolgetic queer beauty as well. there is pride in my veins, and fight in my lungs, and I wouldn't trade any of it for shit

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Actually sometimes if I think about it I am a little mad that Greg's blatant experience of Tom's homophobic powerplays and abuse is treated as almost nothing in the Family Abuse Through Capitalism show. it's, like, intentionally played for laughs most times.

At the same time, I love the two of them and find them compelling and interesting because I love jealously, possession, and devotion and I ship as many straight ships as I do gay ones. As much as I do want wholesome gay rep I also want hand-in-unlovable-hand, nobody-can-love-you-like-I-do stories too. I'm not mad at my fellow fans for just sort of sweeping it away because the show also does, I think? Perhaps there is an angle I am missing but-

Shiv gets to experience the whole gambit of being a scummy person and a woman and using her position to fuck over other women, but still having harrowing experiences of misogyny when she's utterly surrounded by men. It's heart- and gut-wrenching to watch. Layered and interesting. People have differing opinions, still, but it's in the text and it always has been.

Greg, meanwhile, is ambiguously straight. There are queer readings we can have- going from completely disinterested in sex/women to loudly and obnoxiously flirting with them publically as he gains an increasingly important position and plays the expected part he has to play. Not to mention, his pointedly absent father is gay, more than enough reason for him to not come out.

But we never get a confirmation and... I don't know if I would say there's been anything of Greg grappling with the specifically homoerotic way that Tom has tormented him. Greg seems to be mildly weirded out and then rolls with it- does he not recognize the game Tom is playing? is that a commentary on how victims may not recognize the abuse? If Greg was scared of Tom hurting him, why fuck him over on multiple separate occasions and even right after experiencing physical assault. I'm not asking what Greg's point is, but what is deal is, instead. Cause I can't figure out what they're saying with him when it comes to Tom's emotional abuse specifically.

In my opinion, we still don't have a confirmation on whether Greg really cares about Tom in return (as Tom had tried to make Greg emotionally reliant on himself but ended up emotionally reliant on Greg). Based on last night I think he does, honestly, at least like Tom's company and want to stick with him. Whether he does stay with Tom or not still remains to be seen and I think he's been vague enough they could go any way they want with him.

Greg is not only not a serious person, he's not a serious character, I think. And to me that's a wee bit of a shame. Yes, we also get ambiguous sexuality and issues with Roman but we've also had a deal of exploration of that- I would like more, but, it's been covered. It's been at least addressed, in some way.

Lastly, I will acknowledge that I don't even know what it is I'm asking for, here. I just feel the storytellers are maybe treating the queerness with a bit much levity for the world they've created. And I think the exploration of varying forms of discrimination as they layer on top of the Capitalism-Abuse has left something to be desired, perhaps, and all feel underexplored to me.

[thatludicrousdisplay]

okay okay okay okay okay i've been rewatching it crowd this week and rn i'm watching s2ep1 again. this must be my 20th rewatch at *least* by now, but this time i was struck by how much the conversation between moss and phillip could be seen as a metaphor for moss being gay coded (save all the other parts of the episode, of course)

moss: phillip, who are you talking to? me or Jen?

is there history between moss and phillip? do they know each other outside of their obvious connection through jen? if they do, i would not be surprised at *all* if moss was looking for an in. don't get me wrong, he doesn't pick up on social cues very well (very much due to him being likely canonically autistic), but i think he definitely knew that phillip was talking about a date.

phillip: do you like the theatre?

moss: never been

i think phillip picks up on moss' vibes here, and decides to use the theatre as a metaphor as he tries to figure out if moss is gay or cockblocking him with jen. his body language in this scene is quite important: if you watch closely you can see he angles his body more towards moss, gestures towards him and makes clear eye contact, whereas before he was angled towards jen and only kept glancing towards moss when talking. and again, moss' response suggests that he's never really been in a gay relationship, which, let's be real, isn't that much of a surprise. i've always personally thought of moss as someone who be confused as to his identity not through repression necessarily, but through sheer not knowing

moss: but I've, uh... I've always liked the idea of the theatre - the smell of the grease, the roar of the paint

it's men. he likes men guys.

moss: I've often thought if I hadn't ended up in computers, I would have gone into the theatre.

this line stumps me a little btw. maybe something about the nature of their (meaning moss and roy's) job separating them from the rest of the building and therefore the reynholm industries dating pool? or it could be him saying "yeah i could've been a little whore but i like computers so eh". if you have any thoughts please god let me know

phillip: but you've never been to see a play?

moss: no

phillip: why not?

is it just me, but does phillip sound almost disappointed when moss says he's never been to see a play. this could easily be misconstrued as a theatre lover's pity, but i think it goes deeper than this. i feel like 'play' is being used as a metaphor to represent being with a man in the (non)biblical sense. and notice how moss takes a moment before answering, almost as if he's considering what he's going to say. if someone asks you if you've ever been to see a play, you don't take that second or two, you probably know right away. once again, phillip is talking directly to moss. when roy interrupts a few moments after this small interaction he looks up and seems almost surprised to find other people in the room, including the woman he's supposedly wooing.

moss: never had the interest

moss could definitely be asexual or demisexual. he takes a small moment again, but seems confident in his answer. i don't think he's lying to phillip to try and make himself seem aloof or holier-than-thou, but i think he's being honest with a man with whom he is experiencing a level of attraction (whether that be romantic or sexual). of course i do personally think there is a long-standing will-they-won't-they situation with moss and roy, but i do think he's being truthful. maybe he's trying to be a little bit flirty. i could see him trying to do that, trying something he's seen on tv perhaps? idk i just love him okay <<<3

seriously tho i love this idiot little man so much and i just want him to be happy and comfortable in his sexuality

[yr-obedt-cicero]

just curious- somewhat in relation to your fic- but do you think Eliza would have been accepting towards Alexander's and John's relationship? if she ever found out.

Nope. And I highly doubt she ever knew either.

Although we don't have anything that indicates Eliza's opinion on sodomy, it is likely safe to assume she was probably your average, period-typical, homophobic, upperclass woman. Maybe even a bit worse considering she was a devoted christian, and was just a judgmental person in general. Eliza was religious and was adamant about it all considering she was often the one instilling religion and proper Christian behaviors in her kids since Hamilton wasn't really a religious person up until the last few years of his life.

I don't see her as being anywhere near accepting, and I often see people comparing it to the Reynolds affair which is just refutable—Infidelity and affairs were actually a commonplace thing of the day, and it wasn't like the Hamiltons' were sheltered from this issue with Hamilton's own family, and their association with others like Gouverneur Morris. Hamilton and Eliza shared the same class with many couples and families that were a victim of such, so honestly, I can imagine it being more forgivable than sodomy (Plus the whole infidelity loop that twists them in since Hamilton was still in a relationship with Laurens when marrying Eliza). And that point, Eliza would have definitely left.

And there are arguments that she supposedly would have been if she didn't mind Baron von Steuben associating with the family, which leads to the unfortunate truth that; even if she did, let's say, know about the Baron's inclinations, it wasn't her choice or say who associated with the family. Ultimately it was Hamilton's, and as much as he loved his wife, I highly doubt he was consulting her about that stuff. Also it's faulty to even consider she knew, as the Baron wasn't foolish with this sort of thing—He was smart about being good with making friends with the upperclass society (Y'know, like the Schuylers'). And honestly, all the rumors surrounding around why he got discharged from the Prussian army and the conclusion being that he was gay probably weren't even true. It's more likely he was just released from service because the army was downsizing, it's incredibly hard to believe he could have just been so open about his sexuality to people, especially enough so to get discharged. If anything, the most critical thing was that he remained a bachelor. So, I highly doubt Eliza knew of that either.

And now it comes down to, would Hamilton tell her? I don't think so. Nothing suggests he ever did, and that she ever knew even after both men's deaths. Sure, Hamilton confided a lot to his wife, but this would have been too grave to share. Additionally, there wouldn't be any reason to, Laurens was dead and Hamilton ended up pushing the memory of him far away.

But since you brought up my fic, I'll add on what separates some of my opinions and then my stories; it's fiction, and despite some of my beliefs like Eliza never agreeing with this sort of thing, or that Laurens and Hamilton would have fallen out of contact had he lived, it doesn't mean I'm always going to implement the most realistic thing in a fiction story I'm writing for fun. It's all about being hypothetical, and exploring those what-if's—So, please remember I'm not always going to be displaying what I say here in my work. Sometimes I will, but in this case where SFP is just a fun little project I started writing for fun and interactions I wanted to imagine, not everything is going to be the most realistic case in scenario.

[cordycepsfem]

Pageboy Readthrough, Part Six

Previously:

EP gets an acting job and has to wear "girls" clothing which she dislikes

she also acquires a stalker

he is a Creepy Fuck

Toronto is revealed as the Raccoon Capital of the World

EP's father is the opposite of "helpful" and "sympathetic" in regards to her stalker situation and I offer my own father to EP

EP dumps herself into an eating disorder

Now:

Chapter Seven

EP decides she doesn't want her parents to come watch her film

they agree to this, which surprises her

EP stays with some friends while she films which leads to this rhapsodic writing

Speaking from experience in reinventing oneself, EP, I'm glad you were happy, but nobody thought you were a boy. You can reinvent yourself whenever you're around new people but literally everyone at that time knew you as a girl.

this happiness lasts all of a page before we get back into the shit

EP then relates multiple separate times that she experienced sexual assault and rape at the hands of people in the entertainment industry, specifically one male and one female

and then the chapter ends

I need to have a moment of levity so I will say here that I did not learn anything about Canada in this chapter and I feel like I'm missing out somewhat

but FUCK what is EP's life? I am so sad for her. This tracks immensely with what so many of us have read about girls who decide to transition: always felt out of place, possibly on the spectrum, possibly lesbians, groomed and sexually assaulted and raped by men... the more I read that showed me how EP and I were alike as kids, the more I understand how she ended up where she did and why she thought it was the right thing to do

and all I feel is sad

Chapter Eight

we return to the days of 2014 where EP came out as gay

on her speech:

on what happens to her at a party days later

"Men are predators and you're just afraid of them" is a wild thing for a predatory male to say while being predatory, very on the nose

Predatory Fuck continues being, well, predatory:

"it is going to taste like lime" opens wide an arena filled with many questions for me, yes I know it's not the time to have questions about this, but she wrote and I had to read it with my own two autistic eyes and now I am hyper-focused.

I will not share any of those questions because what the fuck is this

Predatory Fuck comes to apologize and just doubles down on being an asshole; he blames it on being drunk but swears he doesn't have a problem with gay people

EP goes on to explain how her being openly gay and trying to be her true self did not help her in the industry

Gaycation was the show where she famously said that we're all born into a homophobic world and gay people should not be made to change to feel "normal"

and based on where she ended up she did not believe herself when she said it

but let's see where this goes

apparently this goes off into the next chapter where there's sex and I am too tired, dear readers, to read that tonight, even for EP

The offer of my dad, of better family, still exists, EP. I talked to my dad tonight and he was absolutely hilarious. There are good people in the world.

[thatonebirdwrites]

Soft ask game: 1, 2 and 3 please 🙂

What song makes you feel better?

KEiiNO for the win! They're a lovely Norwegian-Saami band. I'm still sad they weren't picked to represent Norway in Eurovision (yeah, they'd represented in a prior Eurovision with Spirit in the Sky but I really think Monument could have gotten in top 3). As a side note, my paternal Grandma was Norwegian-Saami, so it's why this band holds a special place in my heart.

They're known for partnering with Indigenous singers and bands to help with exposure, sales, and lift up the their concerns to wider audiences.

Fun facts: Fred is speaking in Northern Saami by the way. The "Hao-loo-laa" Fred does is known as a "Yoik" which is a specific Saami singing style that's similar to yodeling. In Monument, Fred doesn't do a full Yoik but the apex of one. In Spirit in the Sky, you can listen to the full Yoik.

In case you were wondering, the following is the one KEiiNO did for Eurovision in 2019. The Yoik starts at 2 minutes, and that steady build up is the full Yoik. It gives me chills every time.

2. What is your go to comfort show?

It depends. When I'm feeling ill, it's Ms. Marvel or The Legend of Korra for the most part.

Sometimes I'll play Supergirl (I skip all Mon-el scenes and scenes where mostly men are talking since I'm watching for comfort not to annoy myself).

Other times I'll turn on one of these movies (if I'm ill, I tend toward musicals): Mulan, Prince of Eygpt, Anastasia, Arrival, Interstellar, Sound of Music, Star Trek: the Voyage Home, or Star Wars (either with Leia, Luke, and Han or the first two of Rey and Finn's Saga).

3. Reading or writing? Why?

I've been writing since first grade. I'm also an avid reader, but you're more likely to catch me writing. Writing was my escape. I grew up in a HUGE Catholic family -- five sisters and two brothers all from the same parents. My childhood was traumatic, so I'd write to escape. (I'd read to escape too but that was harder to get away with doing since siblings would always interrupt my reading. But if I was writing, they left me alone, assuming I was doing homework or something.)

There's a large plastic tub by my bed that contains my journals from first grade to today. It's so heavy that my younger sister grouches at me to separate them into two tubs, but I never do.

I wrote my first novel -- as in more than 100,000 words -- in eighth grade, and it was something silly about a girl saving her best friend from aliens, upon which the two girls lived happily ever after together. Which is pretty gay now that I think about it.

The second novel took place on Elivera, which is a world I created and expanded upon for years. (Still am expanding on that world today. Created a few conlangs for it, and calculated out the physics of the star system just so I could have violet plants). Nearly all my novels star queer characters, even before I knew I was queer myself. Funny that. lol

Most of my original fiction takes place on Elivera (where capitalism never existed) or a post-apocalyptic Earth (where Capitalism died out from climate disasters).

I only started fanfiction writing after I caught Covid and ended up with LongCovid. Brain fog killed my writing. Fanfiction helped me regain it since I didn't have to use up as much brain power to write pre-made characters in pre-made settings.

I hope to return to my original fiction someday soon.

Anyway, thank you so much for asking!!

[envihellbender]

So here are five, amazing classic lit novels that are not written by straight, white, American/English cis men.

1. Giovanni’s Room - James Baldwin

Honestly, any of Baldwin’s books are amazing and could have a place on this list. This is my favourite, because I find Giovanni such a relatable character. Baldwin’s main goal in a lot of his fiction books is to separate black characters from the tragedy of being black, Giovanni’s Room focuses on two white gay men and it both does this from a gay perspective and doesn’t. On the one hand, a lot of the tragedy regarding the romantic story has happened within heterosexual relationships, and when Giovanni’s is executed (it’s established from the beginning)… it’s clearly because he’s a poor young man who dared to stand up against the rich older man who at best took advantage of him. In some ways, this is more to do with abuse of power from rich old men.

2. Maurice - E. M. Forster

What if I told you… there was a classic queer novel… with a happy ending? And a working class queer character. And isn’t just about rich gay public school boys who keep everything behind closed doors. It took me a little while to get into it because I thought it was going to be just another book about the latter, but it’s not I promise you. It wasn’t published until after E.M. Forster died, which makes sense since it was written fairly close to the Oscar Wilde trial and prior to homosexuality being made legal in the U.K.. Also, It was inspired by Edward Carpenter, socialist, and early gay rights activist.

3. The Lottery - Shirley Jackson

The gif is from The Haunting of Hill House but Nell’s story is extremely fitting to this short story. Thinking about it shakes me to my god damn core. It’s a small creepy village that has a horrifying ritual, no one does horror quite like Shirley Jackson. Similar to the Haunting of Hill House I think a lot of the disturbing nature of it comes from the people so unwilling to listen. The Lottery itself refers to the annual stoning of a person which is a tradition among the villages to ensure the prosperity of the village for another re crops and such. There’s a bit in it where a couple of old men are talking about how other villages have stopped doing the Lottery and how ludicrous that is, with added “young people these days”. This story really gets into the psychology of why people so adamantly stick to tradition and don’t challenge authority. It’s so great.

4. The Dubliners - James Joyce

I actually think this is the most underrated Joyce book, and whilst I’ve heard some people have read it at school I’m extremely jealous. I always hear about Ulysses when this one is significantly easier to read, and I love how each story is about a new every day, normal person living in Dublin. It does not focus on separatism of religion in Ireland (not entirely anyway), and avoids politics almost entirely (excluding when a woman calls a journalist a west Brit). The idea was that like Baldwin Joyce wanted to depict Irish people being normal, and not to he defined by their tragedy, religion, and politics.

5. The Tenant of Wildfel Hall - Anne Brontë

This is the most underrated Brontë sisters’ novel. It’s absolutely iconic. The inspiration for this novel comes from a story that Anne’s father told. He was a priest who was hearing a confession from a married woman who was being horrifically abused by her husband. She didn’t want to leave him because that would he a sin, Anne’s father told her to do it and that God would understand. When you consider how divorce was seen in the 1800s especially in religious circles… that is pretty astounding. That is essentially the main theme of the book without going into too many spoilers, it’s also about how “odd” Helen is considered because she actually shows love and care to her son (which involves a spirited debate about how all children deserve affection and closeness from their mother.)

[thosearentcrimes]

Read Jane Eyre by Currer BeCharlotte Brontë. It's, uh, interesting. Worth reading, for sure? I'm happy I read it, which I can't always say about the classics. Some of them try my patience, while Jane Eyre was a quick and fun read. Whether you think it is good obviously depends on how you assign aesthetic value, though. I mean I know a lot of people are less preoccupied with politics in art, and for them, go ahead, but I think only some of the political problems are separable from the basic content of the book?

Like ok the racism is almost entirely unnecessary, though obviously predictable given the time period. It really starts ramping up towards the end of the book, too? I say almost, because it's obviously connected with the recurring phrenological theme which in turn relates to the main couple of the story not being very physically attractive. Which, to be clear, is a very nice thing for a novel to include, though perhaps less so when it is related explicitly to phrenology. Whatever.

So the thing about phrenology, and racism too, of course, is that obviously Victorians overwhelmingly understood those to be significant material, biological phenomena, right. And they're super not any of those, except insofar as they have the ability to impose themselves onto the material world, and even then not very much. So when you examine reality, including historical reality, from an enlightened point of view, you can see all of that is nonsense. However, assuming we accept the construct of a fictional world, in the fictional world of Jane Eyre, racism and phrenology are super real and material biological features of persons, rather than a pile of nonsense supported by confirmation bias. It's like if you were reading a comic or watching a TV show and it turned out everyone's personalities were actually determined by their blood ty-

ANYWAY, it's funny how gay Jane Eyre looks from a modern perspective, and I'm not just projecting I swear. Like, half the time Jane meets a woman, she becomes instantly obsessed with her, forms a codependent or dependent attachment to her, starts talking about how insanely perfect and good and beautiful she is and how much her male love interest isn't good enough for her, also one time she's given a description of a pretty lady and she starts drawing the most beautiful woman she can think of to imagine what she looks like. She develops what is barely deniably a gay crush on at least three women over the course of the book. Which is two more women than men. But it's important to recognize that this was a different, substantially more homosocial time, and that the way friendship and romance are expressed has changed significantly since the differentiation of homosexuality as its own identity. Why, even quite recently people wouldn't bat an eye over this kind of female friendship. Like, it feels like every other time my mom sees another woman, she'll start talking about how beautiful and talented and great she is and how her husband isn't good enough for her, and my mom isn-

ANYWAY, one of the real strengths of the book is simply in portraying Jane Eyre thinking and responding emotionally to stuff? It feels like such a basic thing, but it turns out a lot of writing novels is about doing the basics really well. If you make your main character emotionally and intellectually comprehensible to the audience, that'll help establish the stakes and sell the narrative. You feel like you know Jane and you can see why she makes all the stupid decisions she makes, you get a sense of why such an independent and proud woman would nonetheless be instinctively submissive the way Jane is. And the narration of an adult looking back over their childhood experiences is really well done I think. Comparing to Dickens is a bit absurd, because Dickens was quite frankly a slop merchant so you have to apply a different standard, but it is crazy how bad Dickens is at pulling that narrative voice off considering it was his whole deal.

Uh, the main couple is fucked up or whatever. She's a teenager and he could be her father, and is also literally her employer. Comes with the territory, obviously, he's a werewolf or whatever, that's the point. The part where he has his wife locked up in the attic probably a bit more of a problem, though it is hilarious how everyone is worried about the whole bigamy thing, and not about the wife being locked in an attic thing. Also he's like a massive misogynist, crazy (read: normal for Victorians) levels of hating women. I'm pretty sure the reason he gets crippled and blinded in the end is so that it's remotely plausible that he doesn't start beating Jane like six months into the marriage. Given all of this, it's a wonder that Brontë genuinely manages to sell the relationship, even with the added difficulty of me shipping Jane with half the female characters in the book. A testament to her skill and my sentimentality.

Who should read this book? I dunno, I think most of you have probably read it already or something. If you want to know the classics, the literary canon, this is one that is good to read, you'll probably have fun. Be aware that there's Surprise Racism and that the main couple is Problematique. If you want to modernize it, just pretend every time they talk about phrenology they're actually talking about astrological signs.