#WHICH JUST MAKES IT ALL THE MORE FUNNY TO ME TBH…. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iaus · 3 days

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so. the nature of epilogue made it really hard to hammer home the fact that. while porter did care about jace he was pulling strings. he was lining jace up to be his perfect little pet sorcerer.

and part of it i think is that i had to cut porter's reaction/discovery of jace's spell thiefing (which is a homebrew boss mechanic i made specifically for jace... and will be borrowing)

eli. if you read this i'm doing bad things to your new adopted wyrmling.

also i go over some mechanical stuff that... justifies jace to me. if you don't wanna read that skip to the giant ANYWAY.

and also. this post. is a doozy and i cannot tell how coherent it is tbh. so uh. if you read the whole thing. i love you.

first thing's first. this "stealing" that jace does was literally me saying fuck rules as written i HATE rules as written i want jace to have cool powers that porter would have IMMEDIATELY been interested in and wanted under his control.

the long and short i have jace as a level 20 divine sorcerer with a unique action that i have crafted. just for him. because if he's not porter's specialest sorcerer he's mine.

Spell Thief 3/Long Rest

You harness the source of your magic and use it to rip a spell from the Weave itself. This is considered extremely dangerous to you and those around you. You do not require components for the spell you steal, unless using this to resurrect a dead creature. The spell you steal does not have to be from your class list but 1) cannot be a spell you currently know 2) cannot be a spell higher than your casting level. (For example, a 5th level caster cannot use this to manifest the Wish spell.) With DM’s discretion, you can use this to steal higher level spells, but this may incur grievous consequences. The first time you use this feature priming the spell is a DC [10+Spell Level] spell check. Upon each success or failure, the DC raises by 5+Spell Level. To use this feature, roll a primer check [1d20 +Spell Casting Modifier +Proficiency] to see if you can manifest the spell. Whether the spell is successfully stolen or not, roll a CON saving throw at the end of your turn to determine the cost of your spell. Use the table provided below to determine the price.

i won't put the table in but the consequences vary from everyone around you has to roll a dex saving throw or take take [Spell Level Summoned] d20 + [Spell Level Summoned] force damage (the sorcerer always fails this save) to you can never cast the spell you stole again to you permanently lose spell slots to there are actually no physical draw backs (20+ save).

so as you can see this is a pretty fucking powerful ability. i'm going to be using it for a boss fight later in my campaign.

but anyway. giving jace this ability automatically makes him interesting to porter. it gives porter a reason to actually pursue jace (besides finding him attractive because i find porter being desperately attracted to jace so funny all the time, sorry man).

ANYWAY.

the (multiple) cut scene(s) i have from chapter 11 is one that gives a lot more detail to porter first bringing up that he knows about what happened to jace in college. but. due to how epilogue is written and presented it was JANKY. like it did not mesh well at all there was no reason for jace to think about what happened in college even IF it was a flashback with porter. the other thought was to have jace pass out after using his spell thief ability and to have a dream about rage!porter we saw in the finale.

this also felt janky and i didn't want to do any more dream scenes after chapter 6.

but this leads to these two cut instances of porter (in their first year of hooking up, because. though they don't really gel imo my first fic does lead into/happen in the same universe). i'm gonna put both of them here to kinda see what i was working with and to show why this ultimately got cut.

version 1 (scene that got cut quickly because the tone didn't match):

Jace had hummed, thought to say something snippy like speak for yourself, but stayed quiet and let himself relax in Porter’s hands. He wasn’t sure how long they had sat like that before Porter ruined it by saying, “Wanted to ask you something.” The memory of the incident—as Jace had taken to calling it during his later years at Aguefort—was fuzzy at best. The campus police reports filed were much more detailed. He had told Porter as much at the time, mood souring as he pulled back. “If you’re that fucking curious just pull up the paperwork. It’s easy enough to find. Especially since you’re a fucking adventurer.” “Hold on—we don’t have to talk about it.” Porter had sounded remorseful. As if he actually regretted upsetting Jace. He still pulled back. The blue and white snowflakes illuminated a dark look on Porter’s face. “Listen—” “I need to go home.” “Let me drive you.”

and version 2 (which almost made it into the final draft):

This—whatever volatile, greedy thing inside him made it possible to do this—it seemed no one could take it from him. Porter had asked him about it once that first year they knew each other—had tried to play sweet at the Moonar Yulenear party and told Jace he had wanted his help on a faculty adventuring quest over the break. You were flagged when I tried to add you to the roster, Porter had said with a frown, said you were… what was the list called. Jace had left the party—drove home tipsy and ignored Porter’s calls and messages for the next three days. He’d been intent on ignoring Porter the entire break until he showed up at Jace’s townhouse with a coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Didn’t think you were gonna be rid of me for three weeks, did you? He’d been charmed. And Porter didn’t ask about the list again.

i am kind of disappointed that this ultimately was decided to be not.... jace enough to make it into the final draft but. what i'm about to say is going to reveal WHY it could not make it into the final draft:

porter, to me, is a little too... overt. almost creepy in theses scenes (which i was angling for). but for the context of epilogue where jace is romanticizing and pining for this idealized porter he has in his head... it didn't work.

this is porter angling to get something from jace. he's fishing for information about what jace did in college and whether jace felt remorse over it or not, he shuts it down and porter then has a reaction to it. in version 1 even jace manages to notice a "dark look" and this is in their first year of being a situationship!

this is a little peek into what epilogue porter actually was. it's really hard to get a read on him in epilogue since he is a memory/ghost for the entire story and we are viewing him in this hopeless, searching for meaning jace who cannot see himself without this man who has abused, used, and killed him. he is coping by only remembering the good things about porter-- he is seeing porter as a man who loved him so much he had to kill him, who wanted jace so much that he was doomed to never leave.

it's what he's always wanted-- no one has ever wanted him like this, chased him like this. but the problem is we can't see porter's thoughts in this. as author of this horrid little universe i know the approximate truth that these two unreliable men hold for each other and i can say that i do think porter loves jace. he sees it as love, but there's a lot of dark shit. a lot of isolating, patronizing, possessive unhealthy ownership happening that makes it, imo, inevitable for jace to break down the way he does.

he doesn't want the reader to see that in epilogue though.

he wants to frame this as a i need to get back the only person in my life who loves and gives a shit about me.

but in his need to do this, he glosses over really dark shit about porter and their relationship.

to continue that version 1 scene a little:

Porter rubbed the curve of his hip and smiled indulgently. “C’mon, Jace. I’m being a considerate coworker.” That had made it worse, somehow. “Sober me up. You do it all the time.” “Tapped out—some of the seniors got rowdy last period.” Jace rolled his eyes. “Fine. Take me home. One condition.” Porter hummed, still rubbing circles along Jace’s hip. “No. Asking me about.” He waved his hands vaguely. Porter had agreed, then stood and tucked Jace under his arm. Told everyone they passed: Stardiamond’s cut off. Just looking out for him. “You,” Jace had announced as Porter fiddled with the climate control. “Did that on purpose.” Porter grinned at him. “It’s winter break. Everyone will forget about it.”

[...]

“It was an accident,” Jace finally said, head feeling unfortunately clearer. He recognized the streets. They weren’t going downtown; they were still in Tillering—winding the streets to Porter’s house. “It was… like a wild magic surge.” Porter had stayed quiet, keeping his eyes on the road. Snow was finally beginning to fall (what a strange detail to remember so clearly). Despite the empty roads, Porter signaled his turn and as he was slowly easing onto his street he finally spoke: “Didn’t think you were that kind of sorcerer.” “I’m not.”

i think this is a perfect example of the kind of read flags jace was ignoring and the kind of red flags he wouldn't want in his narrative. (there's a reason this scene is cut.)

porter does a few notable things here, right:

ignores jace's boundaries- jace puts distance between them. porter ignores it and grabs him. intimately. and continues the contact.

porter tells everyone he's taking jace home. something jace doesn't want (especially since this would be like 5 months into them fooling around.)

he then, instead of taking jace to his townhome, takes jace to his own house. when he knew jace didn't want to go there.

like. jace doesn't react to these- he sees them as flattering in a way. but it's bad. porter starts this shit early and it doesn't stop. jace just doesn't tell us about it in epilogue because he doesn't deem it good enough for his narrative of the man who wanted him so bad he was willing to sacrifice him and bringing him back all wrong.

also... in chapter 6 jace does give the tiniest nod to porter and this whole college situation but it never comes up again because jace doesn't think it's important outside of his dream:

How strange to think that Porter had known about that in this moment. Had that been what made Porter pick him?

he knows porter knew about his spell thief ability. we just don't get to understand it until much later.

THIS LITERALLY WENT NOWHERE I'M SORRY. but let me leave you with a cut bit that almost made it into the final draft and that i now regret cutting, but hope you can see why i felt it necessary to cut:

He wonders. Would Porter have been excited at the prospect of Jace’s talents if he had told him that night? Would he have asked in hushed tones if Jace could still do that. Could he still steal magic—rip spells that weren’t his out of the weave itself? Would Jace have seen earlier the way Porter might have wanted to use him? Porter had never been shy about saying how he loved Jace’s magic—loved watching him use it, loved how powerful he knew Jace would be. I’ll make you more than you are, Porter had whispered in his ear one night as he pressed Jace into the mattress. Imagine it, pet. Jace stares at the spot of blood on his carpet—aware of the ache in his bones, the blood under his fingernails and wonders, faintly: Did Porter ever want him? Was it always his magic? Did it matter? He thinks. Porter had felt so inevitable. Does it matter? He gets up. There’s one way to find out.

#.txt #.writing #uhhhhhh #i don't think this makes sense #and it's not really what i meant to write but.#enjoy? if you read it?#epilogue tag #calling this the porter is a creep but jace doesn't want YOU to think that the meta #i'm half joking

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