#i really do think everyone on this site (and the internet in general tbh) just hates people with ocd

[sureuncertainty]

officially covid negative!!

[siyzuii]

⨳ 　 ʾ apps/sites 4 shifting 　 . 　 ♡

hi! this will be long but i made a list of apps/sites that might be helpful for your shifting journey. reminder that you don't need these to shift but they can be helpful with manifesting, keeping track of stuff, etc.

enjoy! divider cr

NOT SPONSORED BTW LMAO

﹒ 　 ⊹ 　 🝮 　 OO1: NOTION 　 ✩

description:

basically notion is an app for documents and stuff. i have to say this one's relatively known and it's such a huge life saver and i know that probably everyone knows about it already (as they should) but i'm gonna recommend it once again.

useful for:

scripting

dashboards you can add life goals & stuff here you can look up some templates/ideas and see what i mean LOL

cons:

i personally can not think of any major ones because this app is just that good

you do have to make new accounts for the text ai generating feature but i don't know if anyone would use that

additional notes:

i personally love how customizable it is! like you can make each page have a custom icon & header, add widgets, images, and so much more. it is so so so insanely helpful for scripting i'm telling you. or you can just be basic, that works too. there's also a bunch of script templates online including specific ones (like a better cr, fame dr, fantasy dr, fandom-specific drs, bla bla bla) and it's literally the only thing shifttok is good for imo. i'm a big fan of shifterium's templates but there's other people who make them as well and i'm sure you can find some recommendations!

★ 　 ₊ 　 ➲ 　OO2: CANVA

description:

a website + app where you can design stuff from headers down to presentations, posters, covers, etc..

useful for:

album covers for singer/idol drs

book covers for writer drs or something

fake social media posts but there's better apps out there and i'll list them here as well

and much more!

cons:

a lot of things (most of which i think are the good stuff) are paid but you can find similar replicas if you scroll long enough i guess..?? and there's a free trial but i don't know if that helps

additional notes:

definitely my favorite place to go when i need to design something tbh. there's a bunch of templates you can use and the layout is very easy to navigate through! and it's pretty easy to find free alternatives for the paid stuff you do have in there

₍ⁿ⑅..ⁿ₎ 　 ˇ 　 ⩩ 　 OO3: PARROT 　 ❀ 　

description:

parrot is an app where you can record yourself saying literally anything and play it on a continuous loop

useful for:

affirmations (manifesting??)

cons:

i'm pretty sure it's iOS only

additional notes:

personally i haven't used this app (i don't like my voice so i will not be recording myself saying affirmations thank yew) so i can't give it a rating but from the looks of it and based off of recommendations i've seen it's pretty useful. should be a white icon with a pink circle that has a white parrot in it!

≥≤ 　 ﹕ 　 ⤷ 　 OO4: BEHINDTHENAME 　 ◍

description:

a site where you can generate names & even life stories if you choose it (including height, weight, blood type, birthday, nationality and more i think?? at least it gives those for me). you can choose from different cultures and stuff like fantasy & mythology.

useful for:

finding a name & info for your dr self (which is literally you by the way don't forget that!) and potentially other people you'd like to script in

cons:

it really just helps to make a basic profile of a person so the things you can do with it can be a little limited

additional notes:

i prefer using this site for ocs instead but i think it can definitely help with shifting! oddly enough it also shows like a lifespan & cause of death so.. cool i guess!!!!

✦ 　 ﹕ 　 OO5: SOCIAL MAKER/dummy

description:

social maker & social dummy are both apps where you can replicate almost basically anything from the internet from twitter posts to facebook posts, youtube posts, and more!

useful for:

social media stuff especially useful for fame drs, streamer drs, idol/singer drs and so much more

cons:

both apps were deleted so you have to have had installed them before if you want to get them back

social maker is ios only i think?

additional notes:

yeah both apps are deleted but there's alternatives out there like twinote (for twitter) photonote (for instagram) canva (has fake social media templates as i said lol) and others that you can look for (because i personally only use twinote)

⋆ 　 ᶻᶻ 　 　 OO6: HELLOFACE 　 ﹒ 　 ★

description:

basically an app for ai face swapping

useful for:

seeing what your face claim (if you have one) would look like on for example dances, fancams, interviews definitely useful for idol/singer/maybe fame drs

cons:

uses ai (i'm personally not a big fan of ai)

pretty underground so the chances that you might not like it are not low

✭ 　 　 ❒︎ 　 OO7: ROOM PLANNER 　 . 　 ♡

description:

basically what the name says. it's a 3d home designer

useful for:

making your dr room/house

visualizing your dr room/house

cons:

has paid stuff

┊ 　 ‧ 　⬭ 　 OO8: COMBYNE

description:

an app where you can combine items you like from a wide selection of stuff to make outfits!

useful for:

making outfits for your dr

visualizing said outfits

additional notes:

there's other things you can do on the app like challenges where you can compete to make the best outfit i think?? looks pretty fun i might try it HAHAHA

yuh so i got a little lazy here at the end & i know this is prolly not very helpful because most of these apps/sites are pretty well known but maybe just maybe.. i helped someone out...

HAPPY SHIFTING!!!!!

[slut-4-remuslupin]

So I only got back into fandom culture in October of this past year, and I finally downloaded Tumblr a couple months ago, after going on a 9 year hiatus from this site (and, to be frank, the more I see on this app and think about fandoms in general, I’m really quite concerned about what my 13-14 year old self was doing/reading on the internet—I had absolutely zero reading fanfiction about two very real grown ass men who identified as straight at the time, but I digress) and I’m still learning how this all works.

Anyways, I recently learned that all of your ‘liked’ posts are saved on your profile as well as your reblogs, and it’s made reading one-shots and drabbles SO much easier tbh (which are now the only things in my liked section), but that also means that if I like all the posts I come across, it buries everything I’ve saved😭 I feel like such a creep now, because I keep forgetting that, and so I’ll like a post, only to immediately unlike it when I remember, and tbh I just feel so bad for everyone I’ve done it to😂

So this is my little PSA; if you get a notification that I liked your post, but then can’t see it anymore, I swear I’m not being weird/trying to be rude, I just wanted to show appreciation but forgot it messes with my saved posts😭

[housewarningparty]

Uh, genuine question, but what should non vegans and/or non vegetarians do to be respectful of vegans and/or vegetarians?

And also, a second more specific question, i get that unless the person has actually said something, irl wise it’s generally kinda dumb weird and probably a bit rude to go out of your way to avoid any mention of meat as food in front of a vegan/vegetarian, but online, where the rules are obviously different,

would it be good practice to tag posts that are about or mention meat or other animal products being used as food? Because i imagine even if you don’t care it just might get a bit grating? Like when you keep having to hear a bout a fandom you’re apathetic about

Again, promise this isn’t mocking or anything, these are genuine questions, 🙏 i just believe that similar to religious beliefs, veganism/vegetarianism shouldn’t be mocked and instead respected

None of this is dumb or weird! I think it's nice that you're trying to be mindful.

Personally, I don't think tagging for meat or animal products or stuff like that is necessary. I feel like 99% of the fast food ads I see on billboards or commercials is more obnoxious than like someone posting a pic of their dinner and talking about how good it was.

Tbh the only content I actually see on Tumblr that bothers me In A Vegan Way falls into one of two categories.

Exploitative Animal Images: idk to me this ranges from like mildly annoying to hellish. I feel like a lot of images of animals clearly in distress or in unsafe circumstances get passed around as memes a lot here and it's genuinely kinda disturbing. I mean obviously pictures of living animals captioned with something obnoxious about the kind of food you want to turn them into is one example.

Other stuff would be like videos of wild animals in domestic settings where they don't belong (I hope I never see another pet sugar glider video in my entire fucking life tbh) or like otherwise in captivity under CLEARLY shady circumstances (those tiger farms for example). Otherwise stuff like videos of people scaring their pets bc they make funny faces or silly noises about it. A lot of this stuff is pervasive in Internet humor or like cute animal pages and it can be easy to overlook but I think it's worth being critical of thinking about the circumstances animal content is produced under. Tbh I think this is a good internet rule in general - esp when it comes to meme images of violence and stuff like that.

The other category is probably more obvious and the thing I most frequently block/unfollow people over - please don't reblog weird anti-vegan propaganda. I feel like I don't really have to worry about this from you, anon, since you're clearly approaching from a respectful place but there's been what feels like a significant uptick in anti-vegan content couched in progressive language on this site recently.

From blatant misrepresentations of what veganism means to holding vegans solely accountable for stuff everyone does and/or corporate marketing, to weirdly hateful and defensive screeds - there's a LOT of really popular bad takes going around. And some of it is truly wild and really shows how little people read a post before reblogging it - a couple years ago I saw several majorly popular blogs on Tumblr reblogging an anti-vegan post that had lines about the "occult implications" of veganism buried somewhere in the text and it nearly drove me insane. More mundane examples would be the recent rise of 'vegans love to pollute with fake leather bc they're ignorant babies' type posts. A lot of these don't even have to be outright hostile to be annoying, but they all fundamentally fail to understand what veganism is about. It's not a health movement or an environmental movement or a 'lifestyle' movement - the #1 concern of veganism is animal rights.

Not saying there aren't overlapping concerns like environmentalism that can be used in the messaging, but at the end of the day whether something is good for your health or for the planet is a secondary consideration to 'does this system harm a living being unnecessarily.'

Anyway I hope that was a helpful answer!

Thanks for reaching out! Have a good one!

[subzeroparade]

💌 📡🕯️for the ask game please!

Also might I just say that I love your designs for the Byrgenwerth crew and Laurence, Ludwig, and Micolash in particular??? Your drawing style is absolutely fantastic :D

Thanks for the ask!

🕯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

So turns out there’s two candle emojis on this list??? I’m going to choose this one because the answer to the other one is just no and no because I love writing and I’m a meticulous planner lmao. 

I’m pretty low-key irl so engaging with folks over art and writing in fandom in ideal for me. I’m not the type to be vocal on a discord server but I love the time consecrated to looking at other people’s works, indulging in their headcanons, etc. I’m also old enough to know how to curate my own internet experience, and so have never had to deal with any unpleasant fandom drama (10/10 would recommend).

I would like to be better at leaving comments, especially on AO3, where there are some excellent works that are just woefully under-appreciated (probably because of AO3’s more general audience). I’d like to be better at engaging with those works to show my appreciation. 

📡why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

I think it can double as dialogue and creative exchange - so more than just a healthy indulgence. Everyone is chasing that feeling of “ugh this piece of art makes me feel all the things” and I want to try give as much as I get in return.  

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

I have no major working WIPs right now worth sharing tbh, so I took this earlier today as a little prompt/spontaneous writing exercise and extracted a bit from Litanies for 2k words worth of an “extra” scene. 

Title: Foxglove Rating: G Characters: Gehrman & Laurence Wordcount: 2k

Gehrman returns home to find Laurence digging through the dirt.

This will only really make sense for those who've read Litanies. It's extracted from this excerpt, in Gehrman's chapter:

I remember watching from afar, years ago, when he’d been the only soul willing to confirm a theory about the lake at the edge of Byrgenwerth’s grounds. The Prospectors had come across a veritable trove of seals that year, and Willem had begun to wonder if there weren’t perhaps hidden access points to the tombs obscured by the lake itself. No one knew how long the lake had been there or how exactly it had formed. The possibility that flooded passages to burial sites deep in the caves might be discovered and seized upon was suddenly at the forefront of our collective obsession. 

With all the bravado of a modest man with a death wish, he’d volunteered to go below. The scholars had outfitted him head to toe in watertight canvas and rubber, crowned by the diving suit’s great, bobbing head like a primitive carved idol with its single, staring eye. He’d spent twenty minutes walking along the lake bottom, getting as far as the cables allowed. When he re-emerged the scholars had crowded around him excitedly, given him no room to squeeze out of the suit and barely enough room to breathe. Once the glass and steel shell had been pried off his head, he’d only shrugged and told them solemnly that there was, "Nothing but silt, I’m afraid, and bulbous-faced fish with gaping mouths and silly stares, handsomer than the lot of you gawking at me now."

Only one scholar had laughed at that, a glint of copper in the sun. 

I enjoyed the concept so much I ran with a scene from the night before.

Foxglove

Gehrman returns home to find Laurence digging through the dirt.

Home is a generous word for what it is: four walls, some wood and some stone. A hearth in need of sweeping. A table with three working legs and a dubious fourth one. A bed, soft enough for his needs, softer than the hard stone floors of the labyrinths below Byrgenwerth. Outside, a sad little square of soil that doubles as a vegetable patch, where desperate, hardy things occasionally grow. Pails hung by the windows to collect rainwater. A stream for bathing, cluttered by cattails and hidden by high rushes and, past it, the path to the workshops, hard floors he’s made his bed on plenty of nights before. He’d like to sleep in his own bed, tonight. But first he needs to tend to the scholar rooting through his makeshift garden.

He walks up to the door and unlatches it. An old habit, the latch - useless here, deep in the forested paths of the academy grounds. It opens with a groan of protest.  

“I’ll be done in a moment,” comes the voice from the soil patch. Low, distracted, the sound travelling from a face that hasn’t looked up. 

Gehrman lays his overcoat across the back of one of two wooden chairs, pulled close to the hearth. He lights it, slowly, feeding it thin, dry logs at first; then any other detritus still lingering in his four square walls that he can afford to give up. Bones, most often, or scraps of parchment. A garment too worn to repair, or the nettle that grows insistently over the back windows of the little homestead. It reeks of something sharp and brackish when it burns. 

The floors are covered in the pelts of things he’s hunted on the outskirts of the grounds - beavers, mostly, though a fox or two and even a sable marten, which he’d used to make trimmings on Maria’s gloves and hat late last winter. A single wolf pelt is lain out by the fire - a beast separated from its pack, driven mad as much by starvation as by solitude. On an amber autumn night it had tried to take a student, and met its end in the muzzle of Gehrman’s pistol. He’d managed to save everything but its head. He does the tanning in the workshops to avoid the overwhelming stink from settling in his cottage for good.

Instead, the claustrophobic space smells like his little assortment of vices - poppy resin and tobacco, mainly; with notes of a bright, floral gin, which he’d been told was odourless but was certainly not. It tastes like red peppercorns and berries, with a hint of copper, laced with regret. 

He takes his pipe and tobacco pouch and steps outside into the fading light. Rounding the side of the cottage he treads across verdant, mossy things that release fragrant evidence of their decay. A few mushrooms pop their smooth, capped heads alluringly from the soil, a flash of white like bare flesh against black robes. Not edible, Maria had told him once. Not if you want to see tomorrow. He’d laughed, and she’d looked at him strangely. Gallows humour, he came to learn, made little sense to her.

Sidling up beside Laurence, he watches the last of the afternoon’s fading light travel down the scholar’s back. The anatomist’s knees are planted squarely in the dirt, legs folded under him. His sleeves are rolled up, white cuffs stained around the edges, and his suspenders hanging loosely in the dirt around his waist. He’s left his robes hanging by the door, in the same place where Gehrman hangs the nets of nettle and flax for catching fish in the generous stream nearby. He’s long since ceased trying to weave or patch them himself; not since Laurence began to do it for him with the quick, deft fingers of a surgeon used to sewing more than just plant fibres.

Laurence cuts and gathers the leaves and stems with the kind of methodical boredom of a practised hand. Not for the first time Gehrman wants to chase off the other man, to berate him for laying claim to what isn’t his, a clever little wild animal always rooting around for something more. Always taking, this creature of appetite.

Instead he knocks old cinders from his pipe and pats down the fresh mixture before charring the top. The tobacco is sweet, the quality fair - a rare indulgence he’s allowed himself. He doesn’t mind the telltale bitterness of poppy resin laced through it, the way it settles in his mouth after each breath. The hiss of the match fills the silence between them. He takes a few sips before speaking. 

“Does Maria know you’re here?”

He watches Laurence place the leaves meticulously in the square of his neckerchief, laid out in the dirt beside him. The red silk, wet at the edges, gleams like a pomegranate.

“No. I’ll thank her for these later.”

Gehrman does little for the soil patch himself. Maria cultivates it, when she comes around: her own private garden, her own little research supply. When Laurence comes he only takes from it, as he does with everything else around him. And Gehrman, patient as the white cliffs whittled away by the sea over aeons, does not stop him. 

He tamps the tobacco and relights the pipe. When he exhales, the smoke curls invitingly into the darkening air. “I’ve decided I’ll do it.”

Laurence stops and looks up at him. The soil under his fingernails hides the ever-present ink stains.

“The suit looks steady enough,” Gehrman continues, under the weight of his gaze.“Watertight, the scholars told me, and reinforced with canvas. The helmet can withstand pressure much greater than the lake’s bottom.” 

“I know,” Laurence replies, turning back to the dirt. He lays marigold across the silk neckerchief. “I checked with the scholars myself.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“Because I don’t trust it.” He tucks a strand of hair behind his ears with dirty fingers. “It’s a thing made by men. It’s fallible.”

Gehrman coughs through a smile. “But you trust the blades I sharpen in the workshop to keep you alive.”

Laurence brushes soil from a long, spindly valerian root. “A blade can kill a monster. It can’t defend against a lake.”

“No one else will go below.”

The scholar shrugs. “I’m sure they can find another fool with a death wish.”

 “Would you go?” Gehrman allows himself to press, chewing absentmindedly on the end of his pipe. “You want to know, don’t you? If there are more passages down there. Hidden ways into the tombs.”

Laurence opens his mouth, then closes it. Gehrman studies his expression, familiar enough after so many years of companionship. There’s something watchful about it - not animal wariness, but a sort of jaded watchfulness that speaks to a hurried, instinctive rush to action, held in check by the burden of consequence. He gathers some chickweed leaves gently in both hands and places them to the side before leaning back on his heels.

“I tried to talk Willem out of it, you know. But he wouldn’t hear me.” Something drifts languidly between them, long and iridescent, like a dragonfly. “Truthfully, I can’t understand why he still searches for seals. It’s been years. Eventually we will need to do something with the labyrinth relics. We’ve a cabinet of curiosities from the depths and very little practical research to show for it.”

“This will double my wages for the month,” Gehrman blurts. 

“A great consolation when you’re dead, I’m sure.”

Keep the garden in my absence, he wants to retort, but he doesn’t have the stomach for it now. The tombs took his father, and the tombs will take him. What use in pretending otherwise?

Laurence shifts on his knees, looks up at him through the last muted rays of daylight. Silently Gehrman refills the oil in the lantern that hangs from the roof’s shallow awning. The warm light ignites the copper in the scholar’s hair. 

Laurence plunges his hands back into the dirt, gaze focused on the vivid, bell-like blossoms of foxglove. “Who’s to accompany me on labyrinth expeditions, if you’re gone? Maria? She would push me down a well if no one were looking.”

“She would,” Gehrman concedes, his smile weary at the edges. “But you handled yourself well enough with a torch last time, if memory serves.”

Laurence scoffs at that, a disgruntled sound that matches his expression. They’d been separated for the first time, Gehrman remembers; someone had failed to leave the proper markers and they’d circled back, lost in the gloom, torches burning low. Gehrman had heard the scholars cry out in the same heartbeat he heard the bell - that malign silver sound he dreads on every descent. When he’d finally found them in the blackness they were at the mercy of a rat, all teeth and sinew and madness in its mouth - and Laurence, waving a torch with the kind of dogged indignation of a man who rebukes the reaper because he’s otherwise occupied.  

“Well enough that I almost set fire to the lot of us.” Laurence grabs a fistful of his own hair as if to make his point, cut just below his jaw, shorter than Gehrman ever remembers seeing it. 

“Aye.” The nauseating reek of burnt hair had made the rest of the blackened tunnels smell almost agreeable. 

He inhales deeply, tries to keep the taste of resin on his tongue. The foxglove blossoms look soft and inviting enough to caress in the pleasant glow. Laurence begins to fold the scarlet neckerchief on itself, carefully making sure not to crush the little trove of leaves and stems, delicate as vellum. Then, like an afterthought, he plucks a few leaves of mint and slips them into his sleeve.  

“Twenty minutes,” Gehrman says into the quiet hum of twilight. “Enough time to see what’s down there. No more.” 

Laurence looks at him with all the frankness of a fist to the face. “More than enough time to drown.”

Gehrman ignores this. “He’s looking for a Great One, isn’t he? Willem, I mean. Weren’t you the one to tell me water is a channel through which to commune?”

“It’s only a theory.” Laurence pulls his suspenders back over his shoulders and gathers the little bundle of silk in one hand. He extends the other to Gehrman. “And I sincerely doubt you’ll find a Great One waiting for you at the bottom of the lake.” 

Gehrman takes his hand and pulls the smaller man to his feet. “What if I do? I’ve heard it said the gods are merciful, if you can get their attention. Sympathetic, or suchlike, to our dull little existence.”

“Gods help me, Gehrman, do you believe every fanciful thing scholars tell you?” 

Gehrman’s chuckle rolls from his throat in thick puffs of smoke. “Only the ones I hear from you.” He lets go of Laurence and removes his hat, brushes the wild tufts of hair back from his cheeks and forehead, then puts the hat back on. “Will you come in and have a drink to my last night on earth?”

He watches Laurence chew the edge of a mint leaf thoughtfully. He turns away to spit the leftovers, then wipes the flecks of green from his mouth. His fingers linger over his lips. 

“Can I talk you out of it?”

“No, silver tongue. You can let me smoke my pipe in blessed silence." Laurence flashes a smile. The tight one, the one that shows his chagrin at the corners. Then he reaches into his trouser pockets and pulls out two coins. Gehrman catches their surface only faintly in the dim firelight. Old Yharnam silvers, from the looks of them. 

Without a word, Laurence takes Gehrman’s hand, lays the coins in his palm and closes his fingers. His expression doesn’t change. 

“If something happens, I won’t be the one to bury you.”

Gehrman makes his own face very still so that Laurence will not see the bitterness there. But Laurence only ever sees what he wants to see.

“And if you don’t drown, you can use them to buy something other than that vile gin you insist on serving me.” 

Gehrman dims the lantern and lets the night air chase the spectre of death from his face. 

“Come inside.” 

[cleverthylacine]

Tbh I think a lot of online people have some form of moral OCD, as someone who's looking at the symptoms and seeing myself in them. I can only speak from my own experience, but I've always felt like a piece of shit if I ever put my own oxygen mask on before helping others. When covid started, I remember telling my mom that if I got it I didn't want to go to the hospital because I'd be taking a spot away from "someone who deserves it more than me". So yeah you can probably imagine what current events have been like. Damn brain running in circles of "I'm literally a murderer because I can't help more" vs "I'm doing everything that's realistically in my power to help people and can't be expected to help more than I can". I don't have a real diagnosis about it at the moment, but recognizing this as A Symptom helps me not fall into the same traps I think a lot of online people are falling into. I can't say 100% that that's every internet person's problem though, I'm just spit balling here

I debated about answering this publicly (also in may I was just trying to keep going the last 2 months till retirement), but I realised you're probably not alone among my followers.

You are never a piece of shit for fixing your own situation before trying to help others. If your own situation is a mess and you spend all your spoons or money on someone else's situation, you have not reduced the general burden of people in the world who need help vs the actual number of people who really can help. You've just transferred someone else's problems to yourself, possibly without even fixing all their problems first.

That does not in any way decrease the suffering or need in the world.

Everyone's resources are limited except for people like Elon Musk. who was once shown a plan to solve world hunger with a tiny portion of what he has and elected not to. If he chose to, he could fill up every gofundme that gets passed around this site for a desperate trans person who is trying to get out of an abusive home or a Palestinian, Sudanese, Ukranian or Congolese family that would like to live somewhere that's not being bombed.

He chooses not to because he's an asshole. He might as well be a sapient covid virus.

You don't really have a choice. You have to pay for your rent, food, utilities, household goods, medications and enough enrichment to keep you sane. After that, is there anything left at all? That has to be saved because sometime soon there might not be, right?

That's not the same thing at all. We all know who the real selfish assholes on this planet are.

It's just easier to yell at people online in the same boat as you for not doing what you think they should be able to do, than it is to demand that he help, because in a just world, the community would take action about his resource hoarding. (I don't even mean the space stuff, I think space research is super important; I mean all that money he has sitting around not doing anything except earning "interest"--which is imaginary money anyway and probably shouldn't even be a thing.)

[rinskirt]

does ami still know how to use tumblr?

i figured i could start journaling again. tbh i always liked long-form journaling a lot more than short-form blurbs and updates. twitter is more for memers, or people who like to make big, bold statements. i like to flesh things out, or think in pointless circles, which usually means 10-tweet threads no one asked for cluttering up their timelines. my posts aren't funny, or entertaining. i feel like i come off as really annoying on twitter. which for a long time has sucked and made me use of the site unpleasant. especially since it seemed like the last one left. but with twitter falling, where else is there to go?

i wish we could just bring back livejournal. i feel like the way hey separated things into communities--so you weren't forced to get annoyed over memes that aren't even for you in the first place, or diatribes about ships that are only logical and enjoyable to the people who ship them--was sincerely superior. i miss it. sadly, i don't know if it will ever come back since social media prioritizing engagement means the more people who see something, the better--even more so if it starts a fight because that will mean even MORE engagement, and even MORE clicks, and the cycle just keeps going.

tbh, for a couple years now i've been thinking it would, mentally, be so much better for me if i just quit social media. then i wouldn't have to see my friends' super exciting lives while i'm sitting home alone for the nth weekend in a row. it would mean less comparing myself to other people. more time to spend on doing things that would actually better my life. but it's a scary thought. because i'm so used to social media, so used to relying on the constant presence of others, would i still reach out to people? do i even know how to reach out to people anymore, without just screaming into the void that is twitter and hoping someone hears? will everyone forget i ever existed if they no longer see my tweets? or, worse, will they actually be glad i'm not on their feed anymore? would leaving social media just mean i'm alone from here on out?

idk. this is the dumb shit that haunts me. i grew up on the internet and on social media--was a part of the first generation to do so--so it's hard to envision my life without it. (really, social media is probably why my ability to reach out to others is so stunted...) plus, as an otaku, you kind of need social media to connect to others who share your interest. at least, you do if you're not an intensely outgoing extrovert. which i am most definitely not.

going to the genshin concert made me long so much for at least one actual flesh-and-blood friend who would want to go with me to stuff like that. i had so many feelings and thoughts that i just stewed over the entire walk back to the station, and then the hour and a half train ride home. all around me were people discussing it excitedly during every intermission, but i just kinda sat there and stared into space, listening to everyone around me talk, taking in all their thoughts and feelings and not being able to share any of my own.

i'm not someone who minds doing things alone. i think because of who i am, and the life i live, and the illness i've been dealt, i couldn't survive if i wasn't willing to do things alone. i feel like maybe that's a very lonely thing to say, and a very lonely way to think, but it's just my reality. i decided to abandon my entire life in the states where i already didn't have a ton of friends, and i came to a place where most of the people are just as shy and unwilling to reach out to strangers as i am. plus i continue in this limbo of moderately-okay-but-not-great japanese, at the level where you plateau if you don't speak much. and i don't speak much. i have a lot of trauma around speaking. it takes a very safe atmosphere to coax it out of me.

i was considering starting a journaling style that i saw recommended, where rather than writing, you record yourself speaking your thoughts and feelings. and while i know that would probably be very therapeutic and helpful for me in the long run, i haven't been able to bring myself to do it. in a book i've been reading lately, "the body keeps the score" by bessel van der kolk, he discusses how trauma freezes the part of the brain that processes language, and makes it hard to actually discuss what you're feeling. that's always been a problem for me. i don't want to talk about things. i don't want to put certain feelings and thoughts into the world. i don't even know how. not even to my phone in the privacy of my home.

but i do want to try it, if i can get myself to that point. i really do want to get better. i want so badly to stop being afraid of everyone in my life, of being abandoned by them, or being hated by them if i open up and show them the worst of me. if i admit how lost and sad and trapped i feel a lot of the time. i feel like i look like such a negative person, such a bitchy and whiny sadsack of a human, but it's because i'm afraid of everything. i'm like that annoying small dog that's so afraid you're going to kick it and so it makes itself as unpleasant to be around as possible so you just leave it be. if no one likes me, if everyone just leaves me alone, i'm safe. i can't be hurt anymore.

for how sad this journal entry comes off, though, i feel like i've been in an okay place mentally lately. the fact that i've been going out and doing stuff again is a sign of that. for a long while i remembered the first year i was in japan, how excited i was to go out and just do things, even if i had no one to do them with. but sometime around covid, that started slipping away--i stopped leaving my apartment until i was invited out, and stopped going to restaurants and shops and events unless someone would hold my hand. but i'm finally in a place where i feel like i've started to rebuild a bit.

i've been thinking a lot lately about what my priorities are, and what i can do to achieve those things, so i can have some semblance of peace and stability in my life. and right now, i feel like i want to just prioritize the idea of feeling good about myself and good about my life. i worked so hard to get to where i am now, and it feels like such a waste to be living it miserably. and while part of me can't help but feel like being miserable is just the hand i was dealt with my anxious, weird brain, i want to try to do something about it. i don't want to just continue to be sad about things and let those things fester even if they're things that can be changed.

so for now, i'll change the things that are in my power to change--my diet, my sleeping habits, getting enough exercise, doing more of the things i enjoy, cutting out more of the things that make me miserable (no matter how fun and addictive they seem in the moment...), and just being kinder to myself if i fail in any of those at any given moment. i want to feel like i am some power over my life again, however little.

anyway. now that i've made myself cry writing this, i need to run to the store. but it truly is therapeutic to actually type all this out. i enjoyed it. i missed journaling. i'll have to do this more often.

[artificial-radiance]

So I get your point on the case of "it hurts impressionable young kids." Which IS true, but also… Kids shouldn't be learning things from the internet. Their main circle of peers should NOT be the internet. It's not people online responsibility to be teaching other people's children- that's their parents responsibility. That is literally the job of a parent, to make sure their kids know what's wrong from right. TBH any parent that LETS their young and impressionable kids online without supervision is pretty irresponsible. The internet is not a source to learn from until you know how to filter the good stuff from the bad stuff, and parents should be ensuring that their kids understand that before letting them go unsupervised. It's WAY more your mothers fault for not teaching you, especially when you straight up asked her directly, that it was wrong. Than for people drawing stuff online. While I really don't like that stuff, it's incredibly off putting and discomforting to me; I recognize it's not that persons responsibility to be teaching someone ELSES kid, that they don't even know exists, what's right and what's wrong. It would be nice if they did anyways, courteous, thoughtful, and generous of them to do so- but not their responsibility and so if they don't do that, they aren't to blame for it.

I'm sorry that your family, and circle that is supposed to be educating you, failed you on something that important. But it's not the artists you saw online fault that your mother didn't set you straight, especially because at that age you shouldn't have been online without a parent monitoring.

I'm not saying you are inherently wrong, because it IS harmful to young kids; but that's why there are kid friendly spaces online, the entirety of the internet is not designed to be safe for those kinds of kids. I'm mostly saying that your anger is misdirected, it should be at the guardians who are not being responsible about the stuff their kids are seeing, and not at the people who are making them.

I don't mean this to be argumentative, and I apologize if I wrote it as such; I'm just trying to offer another perspective on the matter

I appreciate the perspective, and I agree that parents should watch their children on the internet, it certainly would've saved me from many of my issues. But this is an age where we hand children phones and tablets at a young age alongside toys and cartoons, whether we're watching with them or not. (This gets kinda long, so I've placed it under a read more)

We're in this sort of spot in time where parents are expected to give their children tablets and call it a day. Where people just want to have things be quiet in the house for once, especially with Everything that has Happened and things that are Happening. The internet is part of our lives now, whether we like it or not, and it is fully ingrained into our downtimes, schools, and work lives.

Parents don't know what's safe. Parents can do research, and research will say something like... Oh yeah, YouTube is safe! DeviantART is safe! But that didn't keep my brother from finding GTA5 videos when he was maybe 6 when my mom was right there in the room with him (I'm the one that stopped him and told him off from watching them), and it didn't keep me from finding porn at the age of 10 on both sites when my mother watch still making me usernames and passwords with my birthday and dead name in them.

Every website has the ability to be harmful to kids, so long as there's some sort of login and any semblance of being social, and that doesn't leave many options for kids in that in-between age where they 'upgrade' from toddler levels of nonsense to older kid nonsense, where they learn more than how to spell words and the water cycle and how chicks hatch from eggs.

What I'm getting at is that sometimes parents and grandparents and other such guardians just don't know and don't have the time. Parents will think that their kids will just Get It because everyone that's grown has Gotten It. Parents can love their kids to the moon and back and still not be there for them. They don't know about the abundance of incest and pedophilia in communities because kids lie about what they do or don't tell them about their interests (or they don't care), or kids don't know and they don't think they need to ask because everyone seems fine with it, especially when creators have the power to delete and hide and block negative replies. People will respond to criticism with "well I think it's fun" and a kid will go "that's right! people should have fun!"

This is why I cracked down and talked about it being on the creators as well. Kids can weasel their way onto any website just by typing something in on google, and we know that when you type in something as well-loved by children as Minecraft and FNAF on google images you don't always get the safest results, even with safe search on half the time.

And on kids having peers and friends on the internet, sometimes that's all you have. I was an outcast among my peers for years and continued to be even when I had found friends in school, and the internet provided people who would listen. I was the butt of jokes just for existing, and adults there couldn't help that. But online I could talk to people and they'd affirm that it was wrong and they would be nice to me, and what kid wouldn't kill to have people be nice to them?

And did your parents ever have to teach you that incest or pedophilia was wrong? It's not something I recall ever being directly taught, it was something I observed and realized. Yeah, it very much was on my mom for telling her however many years old child that 'well sometimes people do marry their cousins', but that wasn't even a direct lie either (sadly and disgustingly). She simply didn't tell me the truth because I was a child and are you really going to tell your child that sometimes people do that? While we need to stop censoring things for kids, there's definitely things I wouldn't want to tell a child whether they could handle it or not.

And if we depended on parents to teach their kids everything and keep them from every website on the internet, we get people like one of my partners who didn't realize they were being abused up until a few years ago because they met me and our other partners and friends. They'd think certain things were evil and vile by existing, they wouldn't know for sure that they weren't trait or cis.

There's so much to the nuance of the question "who should be teaching our children", and my best answer is everything should, which is why we need to make environments everywhere where kids that aren't little kids but not quite teens can safely learn and actually feel "mature" and "cool" doing it, rather than thinking they're on some site with pretty colors and round surfaces that are sterilized for 5-year-olds with padded corners and baby gates.

(I also feel it's worth mentioning I'm not at all mad at you, anon, but this is my rambly addition)

[anicocat]

Wow you nailed it talking about people’s behavior in this fandom, always so quick to judge everyone like... I can’t get used to it, it’s draining and mostly makes me want to stay away even though when a season starts I need to see what people are thinking because I like reading takes that are different from what I thought/noticed while watching.

I just wish people wouldn’t assume they know what’s going on in everyone else’s mind when someone types their opinion on this site, it’s so brave of the people who still do it, tbh! I myself would have already given up a long time ago, my mental health wouldn’t be able to take it.

Anyway thanks for putting my thoughts into words!

Hallo! Sorry it took a bit to answer, I get confused with my notificactions haha.

Well, yeah, some people can make really hurtful, harsh judgements... It used to really affect and scare me but over time I understood that a lot of those persons overidentify with certain character‘s attributes (body size, sexual orientation, etc) and they think everything someone says or thinks it‘s about that. It‘s worse when you‘ve been hurt because of those attributes because you‘re always expecting something bad from everyone and it‘s really difficult having a neutral, objective mindset. Sorry, but I think characters like Lou shouldn‘t be generally known within the fandom as the “fat girl“. I personally hate that but some people love it because of representation and stuff, so I guess it‘s whatever and everybody can think whatever they want.

Personally, as a fat, queer and gnc person, I used to think thought my whole identity revolved around that and if people said something I immediately thought it was because of that. I am fat, I am queer, I am gnc but I don‘t know why make a big deal of it. I hope I can live to see the moment those attributes can be see as something regular or normal. You can feel proud and unique, but that‘s it. I don‘t see straight or thin people making their whole identities about that. I think that only reinforces the idea that you‘re different and you‘re going thru some alternative, solitary path. It‘s really difficult tho, especially if you‘re not living in safe environment or you‘re still living with trauma.

Anyway, my point is that sometimes opinions are about that, sometimes they are not, so it‘s important to stop being so reactive and first make some questions or listen instead of making assumptions. Maybe on the internet is easy calling out faceless usernames for supposedly being fatphobic, fetizisher, etc., but in real life you can‘t go around labelling/classifying people like that because in the end you only isolate and hurt yourself and you think everyone is bad. That’s some kind of distorted cognitive process that is not helpful at all. There‘s obviously lots and lots of fatphobic, homophobic, racist people but not everything is about that and you have to stop seeing the world through your wounds/trauma to understand it. I‘m not really trying to downplay anyone‘s painful experiences, I‘m only talking about mine and the conclusions I‘ve reached through my own trauma healing that have made my life more peaceful and happier... Because of that, I like to think I‘m not as lost as before lmao (please dear god 🙏🏻 hahaha)

[theboy-thebitch-thelegend]

a reflection on my night / morning

hello everyone, feel free to scroll right past this, but I just need to get some thoughts out before I log off-

as context, I came out to my parents this weekend, and well, go read the post if you want, but basically, I’ve got a long few months ahead of me. Don’t worry, I’m not in any danger, I just have a lot of patient educating, researching, debating, and communication ahead of me. Which is tiring to think about, but I do feel I have a responsibility. Perhaps I’m going above and beyond, perhaps I shouldn’t feel this sense of duty. Irrelevant. I feel that way, and I’m going to act accordingly. 

Tonight, I just needed to be reminded that the world is bigger than the bubble I feel trapped in right now. 

Also, I am feeling rebellious. 

Not, maybe, rebellious in a normal sense. 

My rebellion often takes the form of aggressive positivity, strange as that may be. My rebellion is often realised through love, especially when I have been told that I must contain my love, that I must subject it to religious guidelines, that I must save it for one man that I may or may not ever meet. 

I am, in fact, bisexual, and I may very well end up marrying a man, though tbh I do always picture myself marrying a woman if I ever do marry. Tonight however I was feeling especially rebellious.

first thing I did (and the only thing I originally planned to do) was make a pinterest board that was essentially a comfort to all my gay yearnings.

Then I decided I wasn’t done being rebellious and I updated my pfp with the bi pride flag. Which got me on Tumblr. And I decided to stay here a while, and just generally spread love and positivity, and also reblog and find things that I love and that make me happy. 

And I talked with friends; caught up with people I hadn’t talked to in a while; got to know people I hadn’t previously interacted with much; shared posts and stories and laughs and ideas; vented to people (tysm again, and sorry lol- you know who you are, ily); and was able to offer some encouragement to others, or so I hope.

I discovered some new music- go check out Chub Rub, they’re awesome- and of course was reminded of my love for songs and music I’ve known for a long time (maybe I should start a running tally of how many times I unintentionally use Queen lyrics in expressing myself in personal posts and convos, lol) 

And now I’m planning to go listen to Queen II, which is my go-to album for pulling myself out of a bad funk and restoring my self-confidence.

I guess what I really wanted to say is that, as cliché as it may sound, I am genuinely so grateful for this site, and all the friends I’ve made here. Don’t let anyone tell you Internet friends aren’t real friends. You’re all real people, and we care about each other, and that makes us real friends. Period. I love you guys, and I wish you all the best in life- and, I’m going to do my best to make sure we all get the best in life, not just wishing it. 

I may not always know *how* we’re going to get through things, but I just know we will. And that means we will. I don’t even care if that sounds conceited. 

I believe in you. I believe in myself. I believe in us.

Thank you.

[angels-heap]

All your freehoun fics are aaaaaaaaaaa perfection!! tbh tho I wish you didn't post ns//fw on main bc there are minors in this fandom and we don't want to see all that

Soooooooo... I put off responding to all the asks I received last night because I needed some time to process this one, and I think I’m finally ready to try to articulate my thoughts. Anon, please understand that I mean all of this respectfully, but I am going to have to decline your request.

Before I say anything else, I do want to thank you for your kind words! Seriously, I’m glad you enjoyed my writing and I really appreciate you taking the time to send me an ask to help lift me out of my funk.

As for the second part of your ask... y’know, it’s funny, actually, that I was just talking about this with another fandom friend yesterday. I have made a very conscious decision not to separate my ns/fw fics from my other content, for a variety of reasons. Although I don’t necessarily owe you an explanation, I’m going to provide one anyway:

All of the Half Life games are rated M and the active fanbase was almost entirely comprised of older teens and adults until very, very recently.

I’m not ashamed of my ns/fw content. I mean, I’ll be the first to admit that some of it has not aged terribly well, but I’m not ashamed of the general fact that I occasionally write smut.

I have been told that I have a very distinctive writing style, which means posting fics on an alt account wouldn’t really grant me any anonymity. 

Posting my ns/fw fics to an alt account wouldn’t prevent minors from knowing that they exist, seeing as they’d still be posted on AO3 with the same tags.

All of my ns/fw fics are appropriately rated M or E and have been marked with 1-3 additional tags clearly indicating this is smut; do not read if you’re not here for smut. The descriptions are completely sfw and I have chosen not to tag specific sex acts, because I personally think scrolling through AO3 and encountering a huge list of sex words is off-putting (and potentially triggering). So, the worst thing anyone will encounter when browsing my works list on AO3 is the word “porn,” unless they click through to read more.

I honestly can’t be bothered to create a throwaway email address and another AO3 account. (And I like having all my emails and stats and comments in one place.)

Obviously, I want minors to be safe on the internet. We’re in agreement on that. And that’s why I do everything a content creator could reasonably be expected to do to make sure nobody accidentally encounters adult content in my fics that they weren’t prepared to see.

Beyond that, though, everyone (minors and adults alike) is ultimately responsible for their own internet/fandom experience. I am an adult who writes fanfiction about a game rated for adults, for an audience that is still mostly comprised of adults, and I am well within my rights to do that. Smut is always going to exist, and as long as it’s tagged properly on sites that allow it, it’s not really anyone’s place to try to change that. (Not to mention, I write the most ridiculously vanilla smut ever. Seriously. Even by fandom purity culture standards, I think I’m fine.)

If you don’t feel comfortable even knowing that ns/fw fics are out there, that’s cool. Bookmark an AO3 search with M and E ratings filtered out. Subscribe to individual works instead of subscribing to me as an author. Ask authors or friends about the content of sketchily-tagged fics that you’re not sure you feel safe reading. You have options; use them. 

And finally, all that said, I want to address one last teensy, tiny little thing that might have been a typo on your part, but just in case it wasn’t, it’s worth making a point here: You complimented my freehoun fics. Plural. Except... I have only ever written one (1) entirely sfw freehoun fic. The other two are rated E and M, respectively; granted, the M-rated one hasn’t gotten terribly spicy yet, but it will once the freaking fandom discourse dies down, and it’s been tagged accordingly since I initially posted it.

If you have read one or both of those fics, that is a choice that you made to ignore the ratings and warnings and consume content that might have been upsetting or inappropriate for you. I hope you’re okay, but I’m not going to apologize for that. That’s on you. 

Take care, and as always, I’m open to follow-up questions about this. 

[brujoenlafrontera]

hi!!! I’m a puertorriqueño/nicaragüense enby looking into resources for learning bruja stuff, any good place you know to start?

I’ve gotten a couple of asks about this lately, and i’m so happy to know there are more latinos finding their way to the practice, tumblr’s brujeria tag often gives the impression that theres so little of us out there reclaiming our practices but getting asks like these brings me a lot of faith that thats not true :) first and foremost:

GETTING INTO BRUJERIA IS HARD.

it really is. baby brujos like us know that better than anyone- getting started, is often the hardest part of doing anything, and its no different with brujeria. it can feel so overwhelming and feeling lost is natural. from my experience, although i am still a newbie ive been able to find a lot of information out there, here are the best places to find info, sorted by priority:

FAMILY! a little self explanatory, but brujeria at its best is truly is an inherited, familial practice. If you can, before delving into internet resources, definitely connect w your family if you’re able to and ask them for guidance and about their experiences!

Your family is always the best resource over anything you can find online; theres so much misinformation out there or information not relevant to your region and if someone in your family already has established practices, always trust them first

 Do some thinking back to all your cultural traditions, quirks, stories, and superstitions that you’ve  learned from your family across time and never thought too much about- and rediscover them under a new light

KEEP IN MIND: brujeria is NOT a singular , concrete practice w concrete rules in itself, the term blankets a lot of traditions across latam, the caribbean, mexico, but imo its always best to stick with brujeria related to your heritage and where your connection is.

this can be hard for people (like me!) with huge family taboos toward brujeria that make it unsafe to ask around about, and/or limitations in family connections (also like me unfortunately). I personally can really only get the tidbits and stories that my family accidentally slips out when I occasionally see them. i try to write them down as much as possible, but the info i can get is limited... and thats where the following comes in.

ONLINE COMMUNITIES. i.e, youtube, tumblr, instagram brujx communities. notice I haven’t said “internet” in general- the reason why i trust community based social media more than random individual websites you find on google is because, in the case of brujeria and honestly any non-european craft, you’re often gonna find a LOT of white people writing blogs, books, etc about their “spiritual experiences” in latam countries and wrongly/incorrectly taking ATR or indigenous traditions (like with smudging). I know, with social media, although those same white people are also on insta and tumblr, it’s a LOT easier to see the face behind the accounts and differentiate who to trust, who’s legit and has real experience to share, rather than a nameless, faceless, website that is actually some colonizer sharing colonized ideas who thinks theyre on a spiritual journey taking traditions all willy nilly. And the fact that in social media, its much easier to find a lot of good brujas at once bc they tend to follow each other lmao.what ive personally done to find information tho is essentially SCOUR tumblrs, insta accs, and watching tons of youtube videos for posts, accounts, videos, etc, and narrowing down good info from there through , namely:

CHECKING WHO YOUR SOURCE IS!!!

ASKING YOURSELF FROM WHAT EXPERIENCE THEYRE SPEAKING FROM

ALWAYS TAKING EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT

AND STICKING TO INFO FROM CULTURES OPEN AND RELEVANT TO ME.

again, brujería is different depending on where your family is from in latam, and if you have an established connection to indigenous and/or black roots, so it’s useful to use keywords relating to that when searching (like if ur black, you can look into ATRs(african traditional religions) which tend to mix deeply with brujeria, if ur indigenous, finding other people from your tribe is great, and if youre not pursuing your already learned traditions you can think about connecting to them more deeply(altho indigenous traditions are their own thing, sometimes they do mix with brujeria too), and apart from familial roots, if ur catholic/christian and/or want to explore it, saint work/catholic brujeria might be a good fit for you!)  

tumblr: there are a couple of fantastic brujxs on this site with great blogs and resources who have sadly left the site, but i still go through their posts heavily for spells, rituals, scraps of info! etting started w brujería is hard bc there’s really not that much info out there right now, but i compile as many good brujeria posts i find on my acc.

@brujeria-n-bongs great for catholic brujeria, now at @Upliftherbs on instagram

@brujeria-lost @barberwitch @reina-morada @highbrujita

@naomi121406 is by far the most active and informative tumblr resource ive found, shes an afro-indigenous diaguita curandera from argentina so shes also really helpful if ATRs are in your path!

Im not black myself and dont follow ATRs so i don’t really know many good blogs for afrolatine brujxs out there but if anyone would like to tag some in the replies thatd be awesome!

instagram: Ive found that instagram #brujeria tags has a pretty healthy active stream of posts. You’re gonna have to sift through a lot of them to get to the good stuff though- imo a lot of hispanics use the brujería tag not to mean “latine brujería” but just the spanish word for witchcraft, so a lot of white hispanics will put wicca/neo witchcraft in the tag. imo that’s really not something i’m personally interested in bc it’s not true to brujeria’s traditional nature, is very white/eruropean , and that wicca shit basically just got here. its a relatively a recent thing😭 so i try to stick to bruja accounts that aren’t influenced by that.

youtube: The youtube brujería tag is hit or miss? and again, contains a lot of wicca. But there are some good practitioners on there like The Mexican Witch! You just gonna look around, and dont be afraid to click on videos by really really small youtubers; they often are the ones with the most informative and legit things to say!

Everyone’s path as a bruja/o/x (sjdf trying to be inclusive w gendered language is difficult) is different but here are some topics i think are great to look into as a beginner!

ancestors: start at the bottom and figure out who they are, where theyre from, and set up an altar. it’ll help you a lot with figuring out your identity and path as a bruja later on.

setting up a grimoire

divination: tarot is actually what got me into brujeria at first! tarot isnt strictly traditional and is european in itself but its a wonderful tool for connecting to dieties, saints, etc as well as super fun and helps a lot with introspection

ritual abrecaminos, aka road opening spells!

amarres (love spells... proceed with caution)

limpias, mal de ojo

saint work: even if you’re not catholic (im ex catholic), a growing number of us (especially lgbt latines like @/upliftherbs on instagram) are starting to take back and decolonize our view of saints like La Virgen Maria and removing her from the rigid european/colonized interpretation thats been forced into us

candle spells in general (i fucking love candles tbh, cheap, easy, fun, and WORKS)

spiritual colognes, how to cleanse

finally, here are some helpful posts yall should definitely read and think about moving forward!

about using tumblr as a resource

about looking into brujeria as a part-white part latine

bruja psa + about reclaiming lost indiginety

honestly naomi’s entire brujeria tag is great and super informative for beginners and basically holds answers for almost anything at this point

hope this post helps yall out!

EDIT: oh lord now that this is posted the outline format i tried to use is all kinds of fucked up please dont mind the odd numbering lmfao tumbr hates organized formats

[purplesurveys]

1037

survey by joybucket

Do you have a vlog? No, but I’ve always thought it would be fun to start and maintain one. Just never got around to it because it’s so much work, from conceptualizing to shooting to editing; and idk if my humor will translate to the camera. Plus I hate being shot in public, so it would never work out for me.

If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? Yeah, a lot of times. It just looks like such a therapeutic outlet that I can sink my teeth into. Who knows, if I ever gain more confidence in the future I may just try making a video or two.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? AM. As much as I hated waking up early from ages 4-6, it was nice to be home by noon and it also made for good training for the rest of my years in school.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? Good Mythical Morning, several wrestling-themed channels for their weekly lists, and KBS for their Return of Superman clips. I have a lot of other subscriptions, but those are the main ones I’ve been tuning into lately.

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? I get my mom the most, but sometimes I’ll be told I look like my dad as well.

Have you ever watched a live birth video? I don’t think so.

Have you ever given birth? Definitely not.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? That wouldn’t be possible as I wasn’t born yet and by the time that I was, the internet had already been around for a few years.

Do you remember Y2K? I was alive when it happened but barely conscious, so no. I was only 2.

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? I was 1, turning 2 that year.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? We didn’t have lots of vacations when I was a kid, because for most of the 2000s my parents were still busy saving up and climbing up their respective ladders at work. We only started to regularly go on vacations by the time I was around 11, when finances started to get easier to handle. That said, as a kid I really loved the time my parents would bring us to the local water park on weekends.

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? As a teenager when hating pink and general girliness was cool, probably. I don’t wish for it now.

What's your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? I’m the eldest.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? Idk what kind of stereotype you’re looking for, tbh. As much as I don’t really like tooting my own horn, I’ve heard firstborns are usually more intelligent than their younger siblings and I would attest to at least that lol

Have you ever worn overalls? Yup, though they aren’t the denim kind.

If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I had just turned 10. I thought I was going to get it while I was still 9 (the signs had been showing for a while by then), but it ultimately came a month after my 10th birthday. Still, I was one of the rare cases in my family who had it at a lot younger.

Do you get cramps? I used to get leg cramps all the goddamn time as a kid, and they always came in the middle of the night. I don’t get them or any kind of cramps anymore, thankfully; and the only time I do is on my fingers when I don’t hold my chopsticks properly.

Is your mom mentally stable? I think there are definitely some things therapy could fix.

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? No, you’re referring to the other parent.

Where do you want to go on vacation next? Oh my godddddd, Thailand plz.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? Wrestlemania.

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? A neighbor’s kid passed away a few months ago, but I didn’t know them.

What's your favorite type of crackers? Ritz Bits are where it’s at.

What's your favorite spice? Cumin.

Are you sensitive? Yeah. I’m a little soft and I tend to take a lot of things personally.

Are you intuitive? It wouldn’t be the first word I’d use to describe myself, but I guess I have my moments.

Are you spiritual? No.

Do you wish your life were easier? Um, if it was a legitimate option then yeah obviously.

What color hair did your first crush have? Black.

What was the name of your first crush? Andi.

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? I don’t think I’ve heard of that site. If we’re talking of websites that host flash games or whatever it is they’re called, I always hung out on Y8 haha.

Do you remember your first email address? I didn’t anymore before encountering this, but this question made me automatically rack my brain and now I do remember and now I’m wincing as well. 

Did you name your lego characters? I didn’t make any characters, I think. I just liked making towers.

What was/is your high school's mascot? Both my schools don’t have mascots.

What is/was your favorite class in high school? All the history classes we had to take under the social sciences umbrella; it was Philippine history for freshman year, Asian history for sophomore year; world history in junior year; and then unfortunately we made the switch to basic economics for senior year which was like ???? Why couldn’t we have gone all the way with history? Economics ended up being super boring lol.

Is college an adventure? It really was. I grew and learned so much in it and I couldn’t have spent the last four years in a better place and a better school.

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? No.

If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse?

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?

Who is your favorite cousin? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who pretty much feels like my older brother and not a cousin at this point.

Do you look your age? According to most, no. I look a little younger than 22.

What's your favorite flavor of frosting? Chocolateeeeeeee.

Do you like toe socks? I’ve never had to wear those before so I don’t have an opinion.

Muffins or cupcakes? Cupcakes.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? I’ve had a wallet stolen, so kinda.

How old were you when you got your first phone? I was technically still 6 because I had an advanced celebration, but it was for my 7th birthday.

Are you ready for summer?!?! Now that I think about it I do want to go back to summer, just because it was such a vastly different – and a lot happier – time...

Is winter your favorite season? It probably would be if we had it.

How many people do you know who've said winter is their favorite season? Zero.

Are you unique in any way? I think everyone is.

Do you have any hidden talents? if there are any left, I’m not aware of them yet.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? Just about everyone, all the time.

Who was your best friend in high school? Gabie for the most part, but Angela was there as well.

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Commercials creeped me out as a child, not a certain book or movie.

What song makes you cry? Usually it’s 26 by Paramore, but not always.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Yeah, I’ve told a couple of people.

How many teachers have you had crushes on? I think around three or four. Possibly more, but I don’t remember all too well as I’ve since discarded a lot of memories from my old school.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? Nah. I mostly stripped them of their clothes and broke their arms and legs, lol.

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? Nope. I didn’t have enough dolls to do that, anyway. It wasn’t my toy of choice.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? I was 16.

Do you like church? Hell no.

Do you have scars from self-harm? You’d only be able to make them out if you knew I self-harmed, but I think they’re almost unrecognizable at this point.

Do you have cellulite? It’s only present if I tightly twist my skin.

How old were you when you started getting zits? Not sure, somewhere in the middle of high school. I’ve never had lasting problems with acne though; I only ever get one or two at a time and it happens like, once a year.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? Aside from hair growing in places? No, not really. It stayed the same.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? I’m a tad bit shorter, though for a time it seemed as if my growth spurt would lead me to overtake her.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? It’s not a personal choice of mine, but there could very much be situations in the far future where I would consider doing so. I’m not shutting that possibility down.

Who was your first roommate? I’ve never had one; I haven’t tried living on my own yet.

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? So many.

Is your mom paranoid? Very much so. She shows some signs of OCD and her paranoia is reflected through that. 

Do you trim your own hair? Not my hair, but I do this with my bangs.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? No. That’s one of the things I’ll change if I myself become a mom.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? Pirate, Tinkerbell, Daria, AJ Lee, Dora the Explorer, Sofie.

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? My first goldfish.

Did you have your own room as a child? Not until I was 10.

What color was your nursery? I wasn’t put in one. I shared a room with my parents and siblings until I was 10.

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? I think they waited it out until a few weeks before I was born.

What is your name (first and middle)? My first name is Robyn and my second is Isabelle; I don’t need to share my middle name.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? They never thought about it, which is kinda disappointing because I do want to know what my other name could’ve been.

Do you like your name? I’ve ended up doing so, yes.

What would you name your children? I haven’t cemented decisions that far ahead. I have ideas for names, like Olivia, but they’re nothing absolute. 

Do you exercise regularly? Nope.

Do you have a healthy BMI? No, I’ve always been a little underweight.

What is your favorite season? Wet/rainy.

Do you look like your mom? This is like the third time I’ve answered this within just this survey lol, yes I do.

What is the origin of your last name? Spanish/Portuguese.

What is the meaning of your first name? I’ve heard it means ‘fame.’ I just don’t feel like checking.

What month were you born in? April.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? Nope. But my sister and one of my cousins share the same birthday, right down to the year.

Do you have a sweet tooth? Eh, it comes out every now and then but it’s not all the time. I definitely enjoy savory more.

What photo editing software do you use? None lol, photo editing is one of my Achilles’ heels.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? Tianggeeeeeeeees.

[semi-anonyme]

November 3, 2020

12:05pm

I woke up at 7:00am today and I knew a few things: 1.) I would buy a Vitamix and begin to make smoothies every day 2.) I would stop holding onto the past 3.) It would be my last entry on this tumblr

Today, it is Election Day. I am very much hoping Joe Biden will win, not just for my sanity but for everyone’s sanity, for a little hope in humanity’s fight against the allure of anti-intellectualism, scapegoating, its growing tolerance of hate.

I remember the last election day, or rather, the evening. We all thought Hillary would win uneventfully. I remember my colleague dipping out of work early to go to the Javits Center to celebrate her victory. I remember watching in disbelief from my basement computer, walking upstairs with my eyes wide and jaw dropped. “Are you watching the news right now Mike?” “Yeah, Trump is in the lead. It looks like he’s about to win Pennsylvania (or was it Michigan? Or Wisconsin?)” I walked to bed in disgust, woke up in disgust, confirmed my disgust.

There was not one conversation I heard on the train or in the street that day that didn’t involve Trump. That night, I drank alone at Three Diamond Door. I still remember the buff black dude sitting in the corner downing Bell’s Two Hearted IPAs.

Anyway, election day 2020. I’m going out to vote in about 2 hours. I got today off. Thanks, progressive companies.

I’ve had a lot of internal discussions with myself on here, published them as blog posts. I have timestamps to remember them by, I’m glad. In the past ~8 months since the pandemic began, I’ve gone back to a lot of my entries -- oh, this is what it was like in the beginning in March. Oh yes, May, I was indeed watching a lot of K-Dramas, it was getting hotter. Ahhh yes, I did learn a lot about not having the city as my crutch.

Just in general, on this blog, on the countless loose leaf papers in my journal, I’ve had these battles about meaning. This blog pre-dates seeing Jody my therapist, who I’ve been seeing faithfully for over 1.5 years now.

I could go on. The point I’m making rn in this last entry is this -- all that stuff is in the past, it was important, I internalized it. Now it’s time to move on. I’m glad this exists, these 450 entries exist, they exist with a purpose. But now? I know who I am, what I want to be.

I have no dilemma of engineering vs artistry. Now that I’ve been away from loud bars, I have no FOMO about the nightlife. It’s kinda just time to start from scratch, this knowledge.

I just created a new tumblr, domo-knows. I’ll likely have a companion YouTube channel in the future. Anyway, a few and somewhat ambiguous bullets for myself since, you know, this blog was always just for me.

ON THINGS I’M LEAVING BEHIND ACTIONS 1. Random drinking. Today, I’m going to buy an Other Half Finback IPAs, pop them open around 8pm and start watching election results. I’ve gone into detail before about drinking, but just to sum it up, drinking alcohol is the one thing I can say captures how complex and funny it is being a human -- how we use it socially, justify it, cling onto it, how it becomes tangled up in our highest achievements and our most shameful insecurities. I’ve consumed alcohol for these various reasons in my life:

a.) I was avoiding doing something difficult b.) I didn’t want to be alone in my room, and preferred the loud chatter of conversations and music at a cramped bar c.) I did not trust my social abilities sober, so I drank alcohol because I’ve never known anyone who has not liked me when I’ve had a couple (when I’m shit-faced, another story) d.) To hook up with a girl e.) I was bored f.) I was about to do something boring and wanted to make it more exciting g.) Because it was a beautiful sunny day, perfect for a beer on a patio h.) Because it was a cold and dreary day, perfect to brood over a Manhattan i.) I was lonely j.) My life was going too well, I wasn’t used to that, and I needed something to question k.) My life was going poorly, and I needed something to cheer me up for the evening l.) I needed to make a decision, so I drank alcohol and wrote in my journal and came to a good decision that I stuck with m.) I needed to make a decision, so I drank alcohol until I no longer cared, and the decision was punted off until the next day n.) I I needed to make a decision, I thought a drink or two would jigger my thought process, but I ended up getting distracted by something my drunk self was interested in, and the decision was punted off until the next day I’d come up with more but they’re all just variations of that and who wants to read more of that? 2. Eating sugary sweets, justifying it by saying I have “an addiction” I actually never cared for sweets until high school. Most birthday cake I had was gross, my parents bought Chips Ahoy or Oreos which tbh aren’t all that great, and I was never exposed to really good pastries until I was in college. In high school, I dropped a buncha weight entirely too quickly and I ended up with a fats and sweets “addiction” that I’ve “had ever since”. This is a common thing.

I’ve held it close to me mentally -- my “sweets addiction”. I didn’t question it, it was something I just had, something to hang onto for the rest of my life because I fucked up when I was younger.

But as I’ve gotten older, I understand that these things -- addictions -- serve purposes. They keep us comfortable in what we deem to be true of ourselves. They (poorly) provide temporary breaks from incessant mental gymnastics/fatigue. Anyway, blah blah, big sweeping declarations, blah blah, I’ve done that all before. But when I woke up today, I knew I would get a Vitamix like I’ve been talking about for years, and I made a decision to stop holding onto this. I always eat 2 meals a day with a wild west assortment of things in between, cake and cookies and granola bars and Halloween candy. Now, 2 meals and a protein smoothie/juice.

Let them muscles grow bb. Feel good about my body, treat it like the fucking temple it is.

3. Dicking around on the internet I enjoy reddit. I enjoy wikipedia. I also end up on these sites when I’m avoiding other major responsibilities and uncomfortable feelings. I know what I want: it involves a lot of deep practice. I could read about programming all day and I’d be fascinated -- you know, the history of Silicon Valley, Introduction to the Rust Programming language, new JavaScript frameworks, discussions on HackerNews about The Best Way to Build Something. But nothing beats getting your hands dirty. Nothing beats poring over source code, running into strange errors, resolving them, moving on, over and over ad nauseam until lo-and-behold, you are an expert.

I can read about music, listen to raps over and over, but nothing beats analyzing a verse over and over and actually hearing the syllables landing on, falling behind the beat.

I’m here to structure my day. I know what I want. Expertise, pride, and know-how. A differentiated skillset so I can collaborate with other differentiated skillsets. Good taste, a feeling of belonging. All that shit, all I ever wanted but didn’t know until recently. THOUGHT PATTERNS 1. FOMO What is it with being a human -- a Man, especially (sorry is that sexist, but also, not sorry) -- that makes us believe that everyone has everything we have and more? That we are the base model without power windows, and everyone else is an upgrade? I love going on walks in New York City. I love riding the trains in New York City. But while some of this love is healthy spectatorship, much of what I’ve engaged in is unhealthy envy.

I’m done with that though. I know what I like. And I know I have a dope life. And I know that I’m a good person to know, that people may have different qualities than me but I also have different qualities from them. I’m cool with my small close-knit friends. 2. INDECISION I kinda expanded on this above. I know what I want, and all questioning I’ve done (especially recently) has been my effort to save myself from doing the work, save myself from having to declare what I am. 3. ENGAGING IN FEELINGS OF BEING LATE I am 31 years old. This is something I know to be true: there is a 13-year old who can program circles around me. There is a kid who can play a rendition of Misty on piano so soulful that it’ll bring a tear to my eye. There is nothing, technically (as in, technical expertise), that I can do that can’t be done by anyone else. But I do believe in my taste and I do believe in my life experiences. And I do believe that whatever I create can only be mine, have my signature, and I think that whatever I create in this world that I’m proud of is going to be good. That’s a fact, and I’m going into the future with that as a fact.

Farewell, semi-anonyme Anyway, I was going to write more but I wanna get going, more to do. I’ve got some work to do, some voting to do, some writing to do, some planning to do.

I love you all. See you on the other side.

[hyphypmic]

HypMic: Sexuality HCs

Anon asked: Sexuality headcanons for the hypmic lads?

Sure! Also, it’s my opinion ya’ll so like... if you disagree pls dont attack me hehe

—

Ichiro

I think he would be bi probably, I mean, you can only handle so much shirtless anime until you like ogle other people and all that HAHAHAH but yeah, I think watching literally all types of anime was his sexual awakening, so he’s probably bisexual (samaichi anyone jdjagkag)

Jiro

Could be bi because honestly he did say he wasn’t interested in girls at the time so he could be exploring

but at the moment he’s probably bi and like that coming out scenario I wrote just reinforces my idea of it and he seems like the type, I mean the flannel energy

Saburo

Questioning really, I don’t think he would want to put a label on it because he’s still a small growing child and he wants to explore his horizons before deciding what his label would be

Or you know, just no label whatsoever really

Samatoki

I think Mr. Ha Ko wouldn’t like putting a label on himself if I’m being honest, like whatever he wants, he wants it and that’s that, like he doesn’t want labels or anything

But I believe he has a preference for women unless of course he meets the right guy (*cough Ichiro cough*) or some other person

And he absolutely hates it if anyone asks him for a label because he’s Samatoki and that’s that

Jyuto

He could be pan because I feel like he’s up for anything and everyone really

And he doesn’t see what’s so wrong with it, like appreciating everyone for who they are and just loving them for their true selves, regardless on how they identify, you know, as long as they love him back

Riou

Probably queer or questioning, but with a preference to females

I mean like, canon Riou speaking because idk, he seems like the vanilla kind of guy (not in the bed, I mean like, personality wise in terms of who he’s attracted to) and wants that kind of soldier and dame romance (like the classic “soldier comes home to waiting girl”) but has also experienced attraction to the men serving with him

Ramuda

he’d probably be pan and like just in general love everyone or want to you know, do anyone and is just attracted to everyone in general

I mean, have you seen him really like… really seen Ramuda

I mean, I doubt that he’s opposed to hooking up with guys or anyone who’s attracted to him or would give him the time of day

Dice

Probably pan also because our resident garbage boy was probably exposed to all kinds of people tossed out on the streets or living on the streets and you know how some fams are homophobic and all that so, he finds people who abandon their kids deplorable so he just loves everyone

Gentaro

Might be ace or demi or grey (like me yay) because I think he’s really invested in his work that he honestly doesn’t mind not having sex or anything, or he just wants a romantic/deep platonic relationship… but no I don’t think he’d be romantic because he puts a little bit of himself and his wants when he writes his romance poems or stories

Or like his arousal doesn’t like happen a lot really, has to be very specific circumstances you know

Jakurai

is the most androgynous looking man, so he has been hit on by… well, everyone really, so I think for his sexuality, he would be grey/demi/ace or along that spectrum because I think (with his priority being work) he needs a partner that could stay with him despite his schedule and he honestly has such a professional streak with people, he just doesn’t take into account how attractive they are until he makes a bond or something

Doppo

Personally, I think he’s queer and he hates the pressure of having a label because a lot of internet sites like have that kind of “how to tell if someone is ____” or “sure signs someone is ____” or “if they’re ____ they probably wear this”

And he hates that pressure so he just doesn’t like labelling himself because that just makes him even more nervous, so whomever he’s attracted to, he is attracted to

Hifumi

Gay, like in his regular mode and all that

But you know, sometimes he’s just afraid that people would find that weird so he’s very shy about it

I mean, fear of women unless he’s in host mode then he’s probably pan because tbh I think in host mode he flirts with everyone in his club, though he would have the preference for females because they’re his little kittens

[cchilyoja]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   tagged by the always wonderful @foxcharmed tagging:    anyone that follows me, sees this on their dash & wants to do it :)

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO. Well, he is the main character of the show, but seeing as there’s only me & @legcndreportr that write character from the show, I’d say, the RP fandom for it is tiny, but I think a lot of people that watch dramas like the show & the characters.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I mean, he’s played by Ji Chang Wook, I mean, obviously yes. Have you seen just how many fan JCW blogs there are on this site? Understandable. Honestly, and truly.  ]

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I’d say he’s very skilled & flawed. There are many things that he can do, many things that he is good at, but the slew of both traumatic and just plain shitty things that had happened to him over the early years of his childhood, combined with HUGE abandonment issues that he has never really dealt with. All of that can make certain mundane things a lot harder than any 007 stuff that he sometimes does. ]

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. [ I think, even though I love the character, obv been RPing him for years. I hate that people don’t STAN the other characters as much, especially the other main female characters that are just as interesting, complex and worth loving. But alas that is the world we live in. ]

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO,he is the main story, if you know what I mean. But no, seriously, he is the main character. 

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?   YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Yeah, but tbh, I find it that in the show, the two main characters are equally sorted in the first place, Jung-hoo is nothing without Young-shin. There would be no development, no revelation about his life, childhood and interesting complex storytelling and showing without her.  ]

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. [ One would assume that I should put YES for this, buuuut, while HEALER is known to the criminal underbelly, police and those that would want or need to hire someone like him, the general public has no idea. Which is exactly what he wants, because attention isn’t really a useful thing in his line of work, or just the way he lives his life.  ]

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ Good when it comes to how skilful he is, but bad as a person. His character arc really goes a looong way from where he is in episode 1. Like the first thing we see is him playing a tennis VR game, complaining that he can’t pick the character he is playing against to have less clothes (that being a computer-generated character but still), which isn’t really all that interesting and for sure not someone I’d be all into writing. And also his lack of care when it comes to what he does, like the guy he was protecting also in ep 1. Ends up dead, and he’s annoyed bc the police think he killed him, the fact that he’s dead, he couldn’t care less. ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I’ve been writing him for over two years, and it’s just no fun to just follow the canon. He has developed overtime on his own, and besides that, I just never really like any CANON fully. When it comes to the show, bc there are only 16 eps, and as with most dramas there is only one season. So I’ve taken the liberty to expand on the canon and to create Jung-hoo as I think he’d be, away from the scenes we can see him in.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   For me personally, I really found it interesting that the mother that abandoned him, married someone else and had a whole new family, after his father died. Jung-hoo cares for her, meets with her, gives her money etc. He doesn’t hate or resent her, I think that shows a lot of compassion but also emotional intelligence. He has this me vs the world outlook, way of life, mentally, however you want to call it, but is in desperate need for someone to SEE him. Like acknowledge his existence, to stay, to love him. He is incredibly skilled & capable, everything you’ve seen 007 do, he does it better. Also I’ve made sure to include diverse verses so there is a way to explore pretty much anything under the sun that you could think of.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  I think he can’t really move past the whole I hate everyone & I need someone. So he goes back and forth, it is difficult to create a meaningful connection. I’ve been lucky to do that but that’s also bc I’ve written with some people here for years. 

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I had taken a few years break from RP, which used to be like one of my main interests, writing in general. And then I was getting into just watching Kdramas, watched HEALER, and I was instantly like I HAVE TO WRITE HIM, and never looked back really. 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   Auditory stimuli, be it music or just sounds. For example, when I write I tend to use programs or websites where you can put different sounds in the background like thunder, rain, wind, chatter etc. Watching yt clips, seeing people on my dash tbh, like people that I follow also inspire me bc they make me go I WANNA WRITE WITH ALL OF THEM.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ I think I tend to have all of these feelings, sometimes I’m like, yeah, this is Jung-hoo, this is exactly what I wanted, sometimes I’m like who am I writing? But I just focus more on me enjoying writing him, than thinking if people think I write him as they think I should.]

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [I have a bunch of headcanons about like the smallest of things, like the fact that I don’t think he likes wearing socks is one of them, but,  I don’t write them or post them on here. I’m not sure why, I guess I prefer to sort of just sprinkle them in the threads??? ]

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO [ Kinda. I also write fanfiction & I had started this original one with sort of Jung-hoo in mind but not really him. I realized I really like writing starters, I think that’s probably like an unpopular opinion or way of thinking but I really enjoy starting the thread, and I kinda sometimes think starters are like drabbles, I’m not making sense. ]

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [ Depends on my mental state. Like sometimes 100% and then other times it’s like what am I even doing?? ]

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. [ I enjoy how I write, if that makes sense. I’d like to think that I can switch it up now and again, keep it fresh, I def know that I’ve evolved over the course of the years I’ve been RPing ]

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   Sure. I’m fine with that. I just think that the INTERNET does not know how to compute that, or people on the internet. It’s either, you can do no wrong or you should die a horrible death. It’s like either STAN or HATE. And it’s also somehow part of the rp community here on Tumblr. Where there’s just either fake praise or just unnecessary hate. And then there is a bit in the middle where like you can talk and exchange ideas and thoughts. But it is not the main focus by any means. If anyone wants to tell me to change something, or to do something diff, sure, let me hear you out, you might inspire me to improve. But that rarely happens. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   — Of course, I think a lot of people are like this. Talking about my character gives me muse for the character. Like we could be talking how he’d eat a salad and I’d be like, okay now I have to write a novella about this other thing I’m inspired about. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  —  That’s weird to me just bc I feel like when I read someones headcanon, this is how they, and them uniquely see the character, so I can’t really disagree with that, I can have an opinion for sure. But that’s like someone being I like this band, and you say, no you don’t, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  Same with the previous one. Like I often find blogs where they are writing a character that I either love from a show, move, book whatever, or it’s a canon type character that I find really interesting, like the idea behind it, but then I read their writing and then I go, aaaah okay nooo, no NO. And it’s never personal, it’s like, we ain’t gonna mesh, which is fine. And if someone is like that with my writing, fully understandable, just don’t be a dick about it, and we’ll be cool.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?  —  Couldn’t really give less of a shit really. RP to me is this little bubble where I am this fictional person that can do and try everything. It is in no way connected to any other aspect of actual reality or my life. The only connection is if I have to take a hiatus or smth, but like even if I write OOC things, it’s about IC stuff. I have other social medial for real life, this is just my RP bubble. So if someone is wasting their time hating a fictional character, they have bigger fish to fry. 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Sure, English isn't my first language so mistakes happen. If I see someone make a mistake and the write with me, I just change it when I reply to them, but I don’t point it out bc you never know, someone people could be okay cool thanks, and someone else could really feel down on themselves, which would be bad, and I wouldn’t want that to happen.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  —  I’d like to think so, especially that I’m easy to approach and talk to. I don’t take many things seriously, not just on here but like in life. So I’m always open to any idea anyone might have. I’ve been lucky with the people that I’ve been following & those that have followed me, a huge percentage is just really dope people, nice to read their writing, nice to talk to, great to write with. And I hope that it stays that way, so we can also have this as some kind of mental break from life :)