#WHICH IS GOOD but idk i gotta be thoughtful about what parts i'm choosing to gif since i want to finish this batch before 8/14

[nerdalmighty]

I won't be a pirate. I'm a Jedi.

[fiercynn]

bad buddy fandom getting-to-know-you meme!

since there are both recent newcomers to bbs fandom and people like me who are new to bbs tumblr, i thought i'd create a getting-to-know-you meme for people to introduce themselves if they want! all questions are optional

note: i consider "fanworks" to pretty much everything people create related to a fandom, including but not limited to meta/analysis/discussion, gifs, fanvids/edits/fancams, filk, fanart, fanfic, fan food, fan crafts, etc. please include this note with the meme unless you have a different definition!

name and whatever you want to share about yourself

hi i'm deepa! i'm indian-american, in my 30s, queer, and agender – please use my name (either deepa or fiercynn is fine) instead of pronouns when referring to me!

when did you watch bad buddy/join the fandom?

i watched the whole show in the course of about 36 hours just about two weeks after the finale had aired, in february 2022! i joined bbs fandom on twitter soon after and have been there ever since, but i’ve only really been interacting on tumblr in the last few months

favorite ship(s)

patpran and inkpa…i'm a traditionalist ig lol

favorite character(s)

it’s so hard to choose but i think it has to be pran! i love his pining and his cockiness and his anxiety and his kindness and his grumpy faces. really channeling pat right now aren’t i

favorite episode(s)

episode 5 for obvious reasons; my second-favorite is a tie between episode 3 and episode 8 i think

favorite scene(s)

rooftop kiss, episode 3 bus stop scene, episode 8 backstage apology scene, and episode 9 picnic bench hand-holding scene

one thing you would change about the show if you could

LET INKPA KISS GDI

what are your some of your favorite fanworks made by other people?

ughhhhhh SO HARD TO CHOOSE and i think i'll do a longer rec list sometime but here are some of the earliest fanworks i engaged with that really set the stage for how i think about bbs

dynamic (fic, patpran) by riddles2 on ao3: one of the first fics i read in the fandom, it’s pat’s pov through episode 5 and it’s absolutely seminal imo

international love song (fanart/animation, patpran) by @architectxengineer: science is one of those incredibly multitalented people who writes, makes fanart, and animates?? among other things??? and this animation is sooooooo gorgeous and makes my heart absolutely melt

same page (vid, patpran) by dkyth73 on youtube: such a good fanvid of the show that p’aof himself tweeted about it!!!!

(if you create fanworks) what are your favorite fanworks that you’ve made?

traffic was slow for the crash years (fic, patpran): gotta plug my baby, right? this is my patpran fake dating au which is 80k words and was so fun to create!

we both know you’re my only dream (fic, patpran): on the other end of the length spectrum, this 1k fic is one of my favorite things i've written ever

just being friendly (vid, patpran) co-vidded with @scribescribe: yes i know this is an msp song but we made the vid before msp aired!! i think it’s very cute hehe

a song that makes you think of bbs (the ones in the show don’t count lol)

since “just being friendly” is already obvious from me and scribe making a vid to it lol, i'm going to say “keeping tabs” by niki, which is extremely pran-coded. like. look at the lyrics. doesn't it seem like it was written to be about pran’s feelings at boarding school, where he misses pat desperately and hopes pat’s thinking of him but is also trying to convince himself that pat’s forgotten him and that everything pran wanted from him was just a delusion on his part. PRAN 😭 😭 😭

idk anything else you want us to know?

i have opinions about pran’s sweaters

okay i'm literally going to tag all of my tumblr mutuals that i think are still in the fandom (if i missed anyone sorry!!), but also if you want to do the meme consider yourself tagged! please don’t let this flop lol 🤞🏽

@citystoryscapes @nicolasechs @architectxengineer @mahuhumaling @manogirl @galauvant @miscellar @monamay @dancing-out-in-space @melto @incandescentflower @loveongsa @dimplesandfierceeyes @geonbaeeee @faillen @cinnamonseadragon @inkpaa @yourunwiththewolves @prany @pranpats @teesemomma @iathefurrr @inventedfangirling @sharingfandoms @lamonnaie @maychild @thegayneurodivergentagenda @mistergreaves @dudeyuri @nyttvera @thecriers @threezoz @wontbotherrn @not0nmain

[lillywhitefield]

Hey!

First, I just want to say that I am right there with you!! I watched season 3 with an equally obsessed Bridgerton friend (she’s a big Kanthony fan and I was honestly a general audience fan until like Tudum of July 2023, after which I became a huge Polin fan… they’d always been my fav in the show because I tend to gravitate toward that “side” couple if you will but I just hadn’t entered FULL Bridgerton obsession mode yet 💀). Anyways, we watched it together when it came out, did not check the onlines. And when I tell you we both cried multiple times throughout the season, I mean that we CRIED. There were soo many beautiful moments and while ofc it wasn’t perfect, it spoke to both of us in a way the other seasons didn’t. (My friend remains a Kanthony fan, happy for her bc they’re a lovely couple that I too enjoyed, but she turned to me at the end and just said “They (Polin) are so good together.”After we both had finished crying over the “How lucky I am to stand by your side and soak up even a little bit of your light” line.) idk. It just made us both feel seen in different ways and for different reasons, and we found so many lines/scenes about love and family beyond beautiful. So ofc we were both blindsided when we finally opened up the socials and hell was breaking loose lol. But to be completely honest with you, I think a lot of the hate is coming from the Francesca storyline (homophobia is a disease and some people need to touch grass 🤷‍♀️), the group think mindset that chronically online individuals tend to get into, and the fact that they wanted a little more Polin at the end (which, don’t we all? But as you said, this is Shonda. And I watched the other two seasons, no main couple got more than those 5 min of bliss at the very end which we gotta good amount of sweet scenes during their engagement period lol.) I’m at peace with it because I know they’re back next season and will likely get to be a fluff-fest, similar to Kanthony this time around. I thought it was more interesting for them to explore the JOURNEY to happiness.

All this to say, do what you need to do until the timeline calms down and people finally touch grass. But know there are some of us who also liked s3 ❤️

I think touching grass was VITAL to my enjoyment of season 3! I do feel for people who did not enjoy it, but I'm in fandom spaces to have fun, and I need to protect my own mental health so I just had to check out of a lot of the critical discourse. People are allowed to feel however they want, it's just for me that I am choosing to ignore a lot of it and focus on what I loved and what we *did* get from S3 😊

I'm glad to see that 10 days out from the part 2 premiere, more people seem to be doing the same! And I am SO EXCITED for married and happy Polin in season 4! If we get anything like what Kanthony got, I will be thrilled

[thinkingaboutbones]

Yellowjackets Characters Ranked from Most to Least Likely to be a Communist

The ghost of Karl Marx possessed me and made me write this.

Young Nat - I mean come on just look at her. Girlie hates the system!! My anarchist queen!! I love her.

Lisa - She's part of Lottie's intentional community, putting in the work to better herself and the community! You could tell me she's canonically a communist and I would not be surprised.

Adult Lottie - Now I don't think Lottie is a full communist. Like she's running an "intentional community," which is like basically a commune, but she also deliberately positions herself as a leader. You can even see it in the clothes she wears. Like put on the heliotrope comrade!!

Adult Van - Idk I know she criticizes Lottie's community but she just has comrade vibes to me. She's a small business owner (a girl's gotta do what she's gotta do under capitalism) keeping physical media alive!

Adult Nat - She's a bit more jaded than her younger self. Originally, she questions Lottie's community. But she does buy in when she sees and experiences the benefits!

Laura Lee - So I originally had Laura Lee pretty low because of the correlation between Christianity and conservative beliefs in our society. But our queen isn't like that!! She learned how to fly the plane for the good of the community! Helped Lottie cope when she ran out of her meds! And you know maybe neither of those things totally worked out but she was doing her best!!!!!

Crystal - If Crystal can get along with MISTY she can get along with anyone. And she was SHOOK when she learned that Misty had destroyed the black box, aka done something literally so selfish/bad for the group. I think she would do very well in a world where everyone worked together and shared resources for the good of the community.

Akilah - Idk man this is a long list they can't all be well thought out. @lottiesacolyte said she seems open to anything, so I'm just kind of putting her here. Sorry to the Akilah stans.

Young Lottie - Initially I had young Lottie super low on the list, since she's kind of a god/idol to the girlies in the woods. But upon further consideration, she doesn't actually Want that. She goes out of her way to try and Avoid becoming their leader. She just wants everyone to work together and survive. AND she said that if she died they shouldn't let her body go to waste.

Young Van - Young Van's vibes are very similar to her adult self's, but she does kind of buy in super hard to Lottie as leader. I think that under different circumstances she would be more of a communist.

Young Taissa - Young Taissa is a tricky one. Because she is soooo against the Lottie as leader stuff that everyone else is buying into. But at the same time, I feel like She wants to be the leader? Which tracks considering her adult life. I think that her and Van could have been happy living as communists together, but that's not the way life panned out for them.

Adult Shauna - Shauna is fed up with her boring suburban life. And you know what would make you happier, queen? Communism!

Randy - Okay this one is a little silly goofy. But he's just sooo down to help Jeff. Help him with blackmail, help him seem like Shauna is cheating on him. He's a real one. I don't think it's likely that Randy would be a communist but like if Jeff was doing it? Maybe!

Jeff - Very similar to Randy, I think that he would just kind of go with the flow with what everyone else is doing. He's pretty traditional, but if Shauna wanted to try communism he'd give it a whirl with her.

Javi - Javi is a child. He's an icon and I choose to believe he would adjust to communism, but let's be real he's gonna just go with the flow.

Sammy - Sammy is also a child, even more of a child than Javi. He'll do what his parents tell him to do.

Gen and Melissa - Okay I put them together because I don't know a single thing about either of them. They're side characters, they'll do whatever everyone else is doing LOL.

Mari - Mari is kind of a hater. And that's so relatable. She's kind of a go with the flow girlie. But also because of her hater energy I feel she would not immediately adjust well to communism.

Jackie - Jackie is a traditional girlie. She's used to being queen bee. She doesn' adjust well to living in the woods, and she wouldn't adjust well to communism. I think that she could if pressed! But she would be resistant, let's be honest.

Young Shauna - While Jackie's alive, Shauna will do whatever Jackie does, regardless of her own thoughts on the matter. After Jackie dies (rest in peace my girlfailure icon queen), Shauna's a little more ambitious. You think a girl who's mad she didn't get to be antler queen would be immediately down with communism? Absolutely not. I think she would adjust, but not easily.

Callie - Callie's in her edgelord, I'm cooler than everyone else era. Perhaps one day when she is older she will embrace the radical joy and love communism can provide, but for now she would Not be happy with a change in the status quo. She has big Jackie queen bee energy, and she doesn't want that to change.

Adult Travis - Travis' response to the trauma of the wilderness was to move to the middle of nowhere, so I don't think communism would quite be his vibe. But I do think that he'd be more open that his younger self, just due to life experience and Hopefully being less misogynistic now. But we don't really see a lot of him so who's to say!

Young Travis - Travis buys into so much heteronormativity and toxic masculinity nonsense that I think it would be really hard to shake it out of him.

Simone - She's married to Taissa, so she's clearly bought into the idea that a liberal government can somehow liberate us.

Adult Taissa - She's literally part of the system. Also she can eat dirt for free under capitalism, so why bother being a communist? She's a deadbeat dad, acting like providing for her family monetarily is the only thing that matters and not Love and Quality Time.

Adam - Adam would tell people he's a communist. He might even think it's true. But when push comes to shove? That man is not going to radically change his life. He's fake woke and I hate him, good riddance.

Adult Misty - She was NOT on board with Lottie's intentional community. She abuses the elderly. She murders people. Misty wants power and control, and communism wouldn't allow her to have that.

Walter - This man is RICH but instead of redistributing his wealth he bought a big fancy house and all he does is go on Reddit and be crusty and lame.

Coach Ben - They're literally stranded in the middle of nowhere and this man keeps trying to act like he's in charge? Like you only have one leg my dude, just let the girlies take care of you. And then instead of talking things out when he disagrees with the collective, he BURNS THE CABIN DOWN. Evil evil man.

Young Misty - I hate her. She's a creep. She broke the black box just because she liked feeling important. She killed Crystal to keep her secret, and doesn't even want anyone to eat Crystal's body even though everyone is starving. Keeping valuable resources from the community is NOT very communist of her.

Kevyn - ACAB!!

Jay - ACAB ACAB HE'S SO CRUSTY I HATE HIM HE'S A CREEP!!!!!!!!

[bunnyb34r]

So I finally went to the movies again and saw Blink Twice... and I have some Thoughts™️

I'll put spoilers under the cut but tw if you're at all interested in this movie, very very heavy graphic and sexual violence. They even do a TW for sexual assault at the very start of the film and a way for victims to get help. Which is good, but makes me wonder... would they give you a refund?? If you couldnt handle that subject and were like nope not for me! And leave? Bc no where in the trailers (that I've seen) is it indicated that the movie is about that... so...

That aside, I did enjoy pieces of the movie (but overall idk if I liked it. It left me with a sick feeling in my stomach (which is the point))

I liked the color scheme, the repetition of white and blue and the red both being there the whole time but also becoming more and more important as the plot progresses. I think that was cool.

The camerawork made me kinda ill im ngl... that might have been intentional idk.

It was a really interesting movie, one that you kinda gotta sit with after watching. It was a lot sadder than I expected. Funny in parts like the stupid fucking chair, but overall it left me sad. Idk I was expecting more... The Most Dangerous Game and not that™️

Oh and I think the acting and casting was really good too

Spoilers ⬇️

So the main twist honestly made my stomach sink. Idk what I was expecting but god it wasn't that even though I probably should have.

I honestly thought the perfume was made with blood and that thats why the snakes or that they were like draining the victims of blood and making perfume for the men that brought them there.

I really liked how literally everything tied back to some part of the movie, the opening shot making so much more sense, the scar, all of it. That was really clever. Heartbreaking, but clever. I wish they had subtitles or made the "red rabbit" part more clear bc I couldnt understand that until Frida repeated her. That part was so so heartbreaking and clever too. Like when it all makes sense it's like another punch to the gut.

"Theres a special place in hell for people who choose to do nothing" was a good line but also like rich coming from you Slater. Mr Morality over here!

At first I didnt get why she saved him, but nothing would have stopped anyone else who he had previously brought to the island if she killed him. Like they could just fly their themselves and do the same shit again. This way she stops it, but god I dont think I could sleep in the same bed as that man after all that. (And I'm sure that is also a message like trauma affects others differently, the best revenge is success/she's able to manipulate HIM now ect) but I cant help but wonder how the other girl felt (i cant remember her name) ab her MARRYING that man like... the whole girls helping girls speech ect

I do kinda think it's funny how Frida was telling him to "eat his steak" bc he said before he didnt eat red meat, so again she's able to manipulate him even in subtle ways now as revenge.

I think this movie is like either one you only see once or one you see at least twice to digest it all. Personally I could not watch it again knowing what I know now, but I could see someone wanting to see it multiple times to dissect it all.

Oh and I thought it was interesting how Stacy didnt WANT to remember and how "forgetting is a gift" and the reveal of what happened to Slater and his sister. That was sad but interesting, especially since victims of CSA tend to have complex relationships regarding their abusers and how some go on to do what was done to them bc of their trauma. That was sad but a very interesting plot point

I'll probably have more to tack on later but yeah that was... that was something.

[monstersinthecosmos]

so idk if you've talked about this before but i was thinking about how some of your sheith fics take place in the same sort of headcanon universe where keith and shiro first got together when shiro was actually kuron and ttsr! majorly diverges from that! i love the flavor of both possibilities LOL but i'm just wondering in what ways this timeline difference changes how you view/choose to portray their relationship in each scenario! and i don't think we'll get that far in ttsr! (I'M SCARED TBF) but just in your mind palace i also wonder how you think it plays out when shiro comes back as a clone! does kuron even know they're a thing? does keith notice any differences in how he acts? IS HE FREAKIER AND MEANER IN BED LOL? sorry i feel like i send you so many asks abouy ttsr! BUT I GENUINELY THINK ABOUT IT EVERY DAY LMAO. literally it's the sacred texts!!!!

Fgkjfdlg OMG I haven’t actually talked about this at length before because a lot of people don’t notice or don’t comment on it and I don't think anyone has ever asked! 😊

(This is going to contain some mild spoilers for my fics but THE CLUES ARE ALL THERE if you’ve read them before! Proceed with caution!)

SO YEAH LIKE. Not ALL of my Sheith fics fit these two timelines but I have a few versions of how Sheith hooked up that all live in harmony in my mind so sometimes I draw on these and it’s fun to play with them by adding more at different points in time or from different points of view.

One of them is STAR EATER timeline which started with Star Eater and includes Zero Hour and another fic called The Alternative that I wrote for a zine but I haven’t posted it on AO3 because tbh the zine process upset me so much that I don’t want to look at it anymore to make it AO3 ready lol.

The other is TONIGHT THE STARS REVOLT timeline which includes TTSR -> Minuit -> and the Femsheith fic as we circle the moon which is FEMSHEITH TTSR. (This is the order they were posted in, but chronologically it would be TTSR -> as we circle the moon -> Minuit).

And like, when I first started writing Sheith fic, I’d just spent like 2 years writing VC fic full time, and for the most part I try to keep all my VC fics in the same timeline. Mostly just for fun! It’s become like a creative challenge to me to like keep continuity between fics or hide Easter eggs. So I had written Star Eater as my first Sheith fic and then when I wrote Zero Hour I just thought it would be fun to keep it in the same timeline the way I do with VC. But idk I feel a lot freer writing Sheith than I do VC so it was also inspiring to branch out and not stick to the same formula every time.

Something about Sheith too is there’s SUCH a wealth of fic in the fandom and we’ve read so many hundreds of versions of them as a couple and how they got together and everything and like, you gotta understand that I have like 100 fic ideas on deck at all times and I know I don’t have time to write all of them, so I tend to like weed out ideas to prioritize and budget time for if I think I can say something interesting and maybe subvert some of the common fandom tropes. So yes sure, Sheith are soulmates, yada yada, but WHAT IF THEY WERE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS AND IT WAS AWKWARD ! Or WHAT IF SHIRO NEVER MADE A MOVE UNTIL IT WAS KURON DRIVING BECAUSE KURON WAS LESS INHIBITIED? Listen I’m a slut for angst, too, so like. I’m not really good at writing fluff and it’s not my first choice as a reader, either, so I wanna ask, like sure yada yada soulmates but what if it hurt, or what if it was messy? How can we make this dark and fucked up? Lol

So these two premises are like, places I’ve put a lot of thought, and I think a lot about how that affects their relationship long term and what it says about them. And I think they offer a different flavor, so when I have an idea or I’m in a certain mood, sometimes I think “this would be really nice in whichever timeline.” And a few of my fics they hook up after the war, too! So it really depends like what flavor I’m going for that day and how badly I want to traumatize Keith LOL

But for example, like, TTSR was born in my brain as like misc smut prompts but I thought “It would be subversive if they were FWB" because at the time I never saw canonverse fics where they were FWB, I’d only seen it in AUs. And then when I wrote Minuit it was for the prompt party and my prompt was about Keith nursing Shiro to health after he gets his body back, and I WANTED it to be crampy and uncomfortable and awkward, and I WANTED Shiro to feel guilty and self conscious, and so I thought setting it in TTSR timeline would add to it because it adds that element of like, IS THIS TOO INTIMATE? IS IT TOO SERIOUS? It also includes some flashbacks to when Kuron first shows up, and how he and Keith navigated being around each other, but his memory is sort of fuzzy and he’s disoriented.

I REALLY love thinking about the sort of like, dubcon aspects of Keith fucking Kuron, too, because neither of them are truuuuuuuly consenting. Keithisn't fucking the person he thinks he's fucking, and later on Shiro is bound to be kinda violated knowing that his identity was stolen for it. And would Kuron want to fuck Keith if the Galra wasn't telling him to? I also like the idea that Kuron is not a perfect copy, and maybe he’s bolder, maybe he’s more aggressive, etc. So maybe he did make moves that Shiro didn’t, and Shiro comes back and can’t believe what went on while he was gone. In Star Eater universe it’s sex and in TTSR universe it’s the ilu confession. It's quite violating to everyone involved!

And in both universes I’ve tried to float the idea that Keith could tell something was wrong, or different, but he just assumed it was The Trauma ™. Like Shiro comes back a little bit off, he’s getting migraines, and Keith GETS IT. Keith has also (canonically) made Shiro’s safety his own responsibility, so I wonder if he feels so guilty that he fucked up that he’s not going to push on it. In Zero Hour this takes the shape of Keith not wanting to talk about Kuron at all to real Shiro because he feels so fucking embarrassed that he didn’t notice, and in as we circle the moon (s)he’s struggling the entire time trying to figure out if Shiro needs space to get better or if this is going to be the new normal and how tough the love should be.

One of the reasons re: Kuron why I decided I wanted a clean slate after Zero Hour too is that I kind of regretted the way I interpreted the Kuron lore when I wrote Zero Hour; canon is a little bit unclear about how it works and whether or not Kuron is “dead” or gone from the body. I decided afterwards that I liked the idea of them having to share the space and sort of integrating with each other, which is why I wrote it differently in Minuit. In Star Eater timeline, Kuron’s entire personality is basically AI programmed on what the Galra could map of Shiro’s brain, and WITHOUT GETTING INTO JUNK SCIENCE EXCUSES FOR THE WHY, I just thought maybe it might leave sort of “impressions” in the body, which is why Shiro can sense residual, disjointed memories. I imagined these things like imprints or phantom sensation in his brain, perhaps in the vein of epigenetic trauma.

But in TTSR/Minuit timeline, Shiro is in there WITH HIM and it’s a matter of trying to cooperate who’s in the driver’s seat. I haven’t written this further but I imagine that Real Shiro will one day simply become New Shiro which is him and Kuron sort of integrated as one person; this is why I wrote the scene about him dreaming about a cherished childhood memory except that he’s inserted a twin into it. He will learn to share and accept that Kuron has all his same memories and his own soul, whatever that means.

AND TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS LOL SORRY FOR MEANDERING but I do imagine Kuron being freakier and meaner LOL. Is this grounded in canon or am I making excuses to be kinky? Reader’s choice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can justify it by, again, asking if the Galra made an imperfect copy. Because like he IS different! The show communicates this to us by the subtle changes to his character design. And I think about like, the Galra designing him and programming him for a purpose, which is GET CLOSE TO THE RED PALADIN, and I wonder how that might push him in areas where Shiro would’ve been more reserved.

And like what might the Galra get wrong about human psychology and American culture? WHAT ARE GALRA MATING RITUALS? As the BIG BADDIES of canon they come off as being aggressors—even Lotor, who believed he was acting for a greater good, was committing atrocities LOL—so how does that change when they try to build a human personality and human intention? WHAT IF IT’S LIKE JURASSIC PARK WHERE THEY PATCH DNA GAPS WITH GALRA SO KURON IS LIKE AN ALPHA OR SOMETHING HAHA. But no really like what if he’s more virile, what if he’s more confident, what if everything he does is based on some soul-crushing subconscious instinct to BE CLOSE TO KEITH at any cost!!!

These ideas take many forms in my mind, which is why I need multiple versions with multiple answers LOL.

But TTSR Kuron knows they’re a thing, because I think the Galra were sort of downloading/studying Shiro’s consciousness through his arm the entire time he was alive, right? So up until the very end he’d have Shiro’s memories. He will know they hooked up, and he will know how Shiro felt about it. In as we circle the moon (s)he breaks the ILU to Keith in the pilot’s log because she thinks she’s dying and her entire soul is crushed that she never saw her relationship with Keith through, not just for the half of her that shares Shiro’s feelings but also the other half that exists solely to get to Keith.

Star Eater Kuron knows that Shiro has been pining for a while and is the one who is brave enough to make a move!

ANYWAY THIS WAS QUITE LONG AND RAMBLING but I hope I answered your questions LOL.

I think TTSR exists as a trilogy in my mind, and I hope that the huge gaps between updates don’t leave anyone DYING because I’m going to follow canon so there's not a huge mystery where it will go. You can also get an idea of where they’re going by stitching clues together from the other fics. I have no idea if or when I’ll find time to WRITE A WHOLE TRILOGY (please just let me finish TTSR first LMFAO) but I always imagined TTSR ending around when Shiro dies, the middle fic being about Kuron, and the third as the post-S7 story that I have to make up myself because I don’t accept S8 LOL.

MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL but that’s basically the questions I ask about these guys and how it informs where fics go and if I’m in one mood or another or think one timeline or the other will serve a story I want to tell, I’ll set it there!

and OMG don't apologize for sending Sheith asks, I think all this stuff is like bursting at the seams of my brain and I'm always happy to yell about it!!!

[captorcorp]

THE DREAM MACHINE GAME SPOILERS (post-game rambling)

if i had a nickel every time i experienced media with an AI trying to give birth to itself in a human baby form through the protagonist's wife - i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

on a whole i'm really >:3 about this game though!!! i should've known from the title (which is why i got it ofc) but just wasn't sure if it'd live up to my expectations for either the dream aspects or the machine aspects, i think it did for both though

the dreams could've been more dream-like in logic at some times (though i feel like they usually did feel p dreamlike), though with how difficult the puzzles were already maybe it's a good thing they weren't lol i did like the environments though like the wife dreaming of being the captain of a ship where all of the workers are clones of her husband, the stressed nurse dreaming about a cool fantasy land where she's the village medic, the wfh guy dreaming having some weird cube-like dream land that nobody expected but most of it being manipulated by the machine controlling him...

decent amount of dream psychology mentioned, specifically jung's collective unconsciousness (is that a zero escape reference??? /j) and some freud mention iirc? the disk-shaped shared realm of dreams that people start from the center of and move towards the edge as they age while being able to traverse the plane between people's dreams as well is an interesting concept - feel like i haven't seen that many games come up with their own dream lore like that. at that part in the center with the prenatal barrier and baby dreams being raw potential energy and such, i hadn't heard as much about that irl so looked it up in case it was some obscure theory i hadn't heard of before but didn't find anything unfortunately ^^;

also love the ending in like chapter 5 where you can just. choose to start working with the machine instead after almost killing it, i didn't expect them to give us that option. sorry to my pregnant wife but you're saying i can inherit this dead guy's whole repertoire of dream research passed down for generations and explore the dreamscape as i wish with this cool sentient eldritch machine? fuck yeah let's start hiding the bodies /hj (jk I would go help my wife if i were victor. but i'm not i'm the player and i want to learn about dreams.)

also re: the machine itself i thought it was a neat character ^^ was a bit ??? at what it's goals were at first, bc obviously the mortons were using it to map the unconscious but then it wasn't clear if the machine also wanted to do that or had its own agenda, but self preservation of its sentience and trying to maintain its existence by leaching from the dreams of others was a good motive. and then also 🥺me when the ai is lonely and misses its friends (and accidentally kills them when they stop giving it unsuspecting residents to feed off of but dw about that)

very 👀at that bit in the 3rd floor neighbors' dreams where we found out it was trying to build itself a body in the dream world out of dream npc's organs so it could move around the dream world as it wished without the clunky tentacles that kinda just stay in one place and die. another one of those things that's like 'bro it's a dream you don't have to be that thorough about it to make it work' but i get it with the weird shared dreamscape lore this game has set up and it was a very 'bro wtf' reveal. gotta respect trying the frankenstein method

actually that makes me think. are dream npcs sentient in this universe??? i was just thinking about it like 'at least it was just stealing organs from npcs and not people' but idk how this fits with the collective unconscious lore.

also i do have to address the ending of the game besides just that 2 nickels joke (the other media was demon seed btw. was a pretty disturbing watch ^^;;). that one bit felt like the stanley parable hole ending and the other bit felt like the 2001 a space odyssey ending. the playing god part was very ??? i didn't know what to think of it at first (still not sure) and this is the only screenshot i took from that portion.

that whole final colorful shifting area with the victors of different ages reminded me of the denver meow wolf exhibit (i haven't been yet but from the pics i've seen of it on the site). then i saw the area with our mother giving birth to us and i was like. Ah. Unfortunately this game has given us a lot of experiences with climbing inside of small holes, even when they're inside other people...

was also surprised that we just took up the machine's offer to share our consciousness and stay stuck in the dream world. feel like it'd be more effective to give us some options there and have multiple endings, but i guess if it was us (machine loses too much power to survive outside of the dream) or our child (would grow up possessed by the machine irl) makes sense as a trade, our poor wife though... i do like dreams but being stuck in the dream world forever like that would be OTL i am glad the machine got to survive though

anyway my final review is. puzzles were pretty hard so thank you steam and yt walkthroughs. ending was weird, it was too metaphysical for me to fully wrap my head around but i do like the artistic vision. game on a whole is good especially when you're autistic about dreams and ai characters, played it for like 10 hours straight. dream machine is my favorite character (no surprise). why did the game make us unbirth ourselves.

misc screenshot dump:

normal teatime conversation topics

cool machine diagram

NOOO i forgot to get a picture of those fuckass pumpkins that make you lead a government. love those guys

[alitgblog]

vol vi thoughts bc fusebox keeps bringing me back

although we're in casa so ya know.... story is bound to get bad soon after casa

first of all, Hari. im so disappointed with his sprite because I'd so go for him for looks alone otherwise (his hair is nice and hes indian and hes got the rohan sort of physique albeit more muscle-y). but somethings up with his face and his eyes are a little red and his torso is doing the thing Vicki does, so he just feels like a leftover from S7 (and what a shame bc Tyler is drawn so well but barely gets time to impress us in the villa!)

OK anyway personality wise though hes giving nothing. Bombshells gotta cause more chaos and I think he'd be a fine and dandy OG in the real show but he's just kinda here. I mean idk maybe I tapped through his dialogue too quickly but in my head rn he's similar level to Elliot. Elliot I can at least make gamer jokes about and the girls had more to say about him than just: he's hot, and MC should go for him. that being said what I'm about to reveal i did in a few bullet points will not make sense.

The note was obviously gonna be from Jin (your LI), so them dragging it out was a little annoying. And I have personal opinion on what types of things should be gem choices and part of that is having a good enough excuse not to go through with it and I think not reading the note for no reason is not good enough. Anyway I did choose to read the note and it's sweet and references Jin's whole "funny guy but now I'm serious about you" shtick and I just wish they write that a little differently but it's still cute.

Then we get Bea's messages and it's odd bc I can't think of a reason or another season on the show that they dragged out the bombshells arrival like this. Like first of all, they might as well have given a message to Theo as well instead of just Oakley and Hari. But even more than that, why put the messages at all? just to have a cliffhanger at the end of the episode? I think just straight up during the sports day challenge, have someone read a text that a new couple is joining, and then bam it's Jin and Bea. maybe one text from her but the multiple was bugging me.

I also don't know why I got it in my head that Bea was gonna flirt with Theo/Claudia depending on who you flirted with, plus also your current LI but like that would've been a nice addition since I think Theo and Claudia should be done for but they don't make it clear???

Oakley messing with Emel about the drink was funny ngl, but I do miss the routes not merging because it just doesn't make sense to me having Oakley do that. Jack or Jin, maybe, but Oakley is the silent, serious type. Like in my head, he's more like Noah.

There is very briefly a few friendship moments between MC and Theo this volume and in my head they are besties and I wish that was canon/more explicit because I'm not going after him anyway. That way you get the friends who get closer and become lovers storyline from either Theo or Claudia and the other you still get to be friends with.

I'm surprised Claudia and Theo aren't just fully broken up because Claudia is asking for advice and I'm like, did yall not already get that sorted?? it's been so long. One of them should just go for the bombshells.

A chat with Claudia! finally! (albeit a gem scene) I thought we'd get to know more about her but it's mostly just a game of word association which is odd. I will say admitting that MC associates love with Jin made me laugh bc I'm cruel

The girls then say that MC needs to graft on Hari because they're both single and I get the support, but also MC is still getting over Jin lol.

Remember how I said the way I'm gonna play this doesn't make sense? Okay so I decided I needed to create my own mess, just to see if fusebox is gonna let my MC have consequences for her actions. So this is for science, in a way... Okay. So I may have let my MC flirt with Hari. And then maybe she got a sexy massage from him. And then maybe they kissed. What can I say? She's out of her mind without Jin. 🤣

okay no but seriously, in my head she does start to revert to her old ways, her old type, but she knows Hari isn't right for her. She misses Jin but she's not used to having a connection so fast with someone. And when he's gone she misses him but over the course of the day after putting on her brave face, she's convinced herself she's overthinking it. the letter was sweet but it scared her a little. she knows he was gonna ask her to be exclusive and she freaked a little. she just needs a little distraction....

I enjoy sports day but in my head it's usually a late in the show game. Like around in S2 when they have the bird thing happening or the S4 musical (OK maybe not that late, like probably pre baby challenge, but it's generally a challenge with very little drama is my point). still it was fun to have here.

and then of course return of the king, Jin comes back. and with the way I've been doing shit, yes, MC did kiss Hari when Jin entered and ohhhh he was upset.

Bea is cute but playful and still competitive and okay she goes for your couple, but also I get like Chelsea vibes from her (no canon reason why, I just think it's the hair) so love her.

Double date is so fun when your other partner is nearby, like it's almost enough to forget they did the same thing in season 5 because it's so much better this time around.

for fun and for angst I just imagine in the show, mid date they cut to a beach hut scene where MC is like "yeah I had a fun time with Hari but he when he was talking about all the things he wants in a life partner, I kept thinking about how I want that with Jin." 🥺

anyway yeah bring back beach hut

So I'm not a big fan of how they introduced the bombshells and LI return but it's not bad. I just think we could've gotten more time with Jin, Hari, and Bea. It's unclear but I think it's implied Jin, Hari, Bea, and MC are all single and I hope that's true because that way there will be little consequence (as in no sudden dumping) if you or another one of those characters brings someone from casa. because you're not in a couple anyway. (I mean I always hope there's no Dumping immediately after casa bc the arguments are more fun but this is how they've been doing it recently and i think part of that is bc of how they force the routes to merge)

it's also nice we don't get immediately stolen from our partner a la Tom/Cora entrance (or Elliot/Chloe) but it's sort of implied with how the sports day couples went? like I wish there was just a little more time before Casa so it's clear they're all single

or fuck it, give us a recoupling and post casa don't dump the other LI right away if you switch. Like you should be able to make up with your LI or not and it's boys choice and if they wanna keep the slow burn Theo picks last I guess and gets Bea just to also fix the Theo and Claudia together but not storyline. Maybe between your original LI and Hari, one of them picks Claudia (or give us another mlm couple if you're on a Claudia route and let him couple with Theo lmao)

[therealvikingstrash]

2022 End of the Year Fic Review

The wonderful @underragingwaves tagged me, thank you love! (I put the longest part under a cut)

1. What is your AO3 account? for the vikings fandom it's my pseud vikingstrash.

2. How many words did you write total in 2022? 117.233 *whistles* not too bad if one considers what a year it's been.

3. How many fics did you publish in 2022? How many multichapters vs oneshots? 39 one shots and 2 multichapter. All Hail the One-shots!

4. What was your longest fic? Your shortest fic? Longest was Kings of Kattegat with 39,878 words and the shortest Story as old as Time with 119 words.

5. What was your most popular fic? Your least popular fic? Most popular (going by subscriptions, hits, comments, kudos and bookmarks) has to be my VBB entry Kings of Kattegat. Personally, the most self-indulgent fic I ever wrote.

Least popular is Sweat. I guess it would be a lot more popular if it wasn't hidden behind the AO3 log in. And also if it had full on smut and not just teasing, but oh well, I like it and in the end, that's all that matters xD

6. What fic didn’t perform as well as you thought it would? Huh, that's a weird thing to think of, I never really give it much thought if my writing is going to be popular or not so that thought of a fic not "perfoming well" is kinda...absurd to me. Anyway, if I had to take a guess, I'd say Greedy Gods? While it does have a lot of hits and a couple kudos, it's weird to me that for a fandom with so many people claiming they want more fic about the female characters and how much they love Aslaug, there was not as much love for it as I would assume. Must be a me-problem.

7. What fic performed way better than you thought it would? Basically anything I wrote for D. P. - Deserter Pursuit. I didn't think there would be enough people in said fandom to read, kudo and comment, but was positively surprised.

8. What was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022? For Vikings: Valhalla, Daughter of the Fearless. I loved giving Altöra more background story and this glimpse of her relationship to Freydis. It was fun to write.

For Vikings, Strung up, Tongue-Tied. I mean....sub!Hvitserk restrained and dom!Amma playing with him? Ubbe observing, just being present without doing anything besides kissing Amma? Yeah, I loved that one. It's full of tension.

For D. P. - Deserter Pursuit, Pity. My dumb ass actually made it a published WIP because there was more to tell and I liked it a lot. Only the Gods know if I will actually write more though xD

9. What was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022? Well, for someone who couldn't be paid to read other people's fics, I managed to read quite a lot in 2022 for free. Mind boggling, I know. But here go my favs:

Gotta start with Not A Fairytale by underragingwaves, because...have you read that fic? It's really a fun read (for those who like crime stuff which is basically exactly what I love) and promising a bigger universe underneath that small treat she wrote.

Will totally never stop making hearteyes at Twice Now by ritual-unions. Love how Kara (heh) is so clumsy and unable to function in the real world and the way Ubbe basically just watches and smiles to himself, before his eye-roll moment that will make him intervene. I also love myself some good hurt and gosh, this is gonna hurt so damn bad at the end and I will love every second of it.

There were a couple to pick from and it was hard to choose, but when someone can make me read an Ivar fic, then it says a lot about that persons writing skill. The Mental Tyrant by grimeundglow deserves so much more love than it has been given.

Reactions Of Your Kind by Ulfrsmal was my fav of him in 2022, but only because I didn't really get to read the rest of his fics xD I'm sure there are more gems in his list, but this one stood out to me because...Hvitty and Ubbe 🥺

A Prize of Battle by Mercurygray, is absolute Emma/Canute goodness and Idk what else to say, because this womans writing skills are beyond anything I could muster, so hearteyes from afar will have to do for now.

For Mince Pie by emma-ofnormandy, another author that captures Emma and Canute's relationship so well and it's so fluffy, I wanna hold it really tightly against my chest.

And last but not least The Queen of Kattegat by northernxstories! I will remain deeply impressed by how effortlessly she managed to pull me into her story and made me read it in one go, even though it's 12k of words xD It was such a new way of approaching the characters and it's brilliantly written. An absolute treat in 2022.

10. Tag your friends to do this year-end fic review as well!

most have already been tagged, but perhaps one of you want to do this? But no pressure! @emma-ofnormandy @nothingtolosebutweight @author-morgan @lmillay @barnes-lothbrok @errruvande and anyone who feels like doing the fic review :D

[therk900]

💞August TC Challenge (Day 1-31) 💞

1. Name three words that always reminds you of your tc. B: the letter B, blue, english S: Italian, tall, gentle

2. Do you go to school at the moment (summer break)? Have you graduated? If not, when will you go to school again? Do you know when/whether you will see your tc again? I go to school at the moment, yes. I may see B today or tomorrow. I am not sure when I will see S again. Maybe tomorrow as well

3. What happened in the last dream with your tc in it? S: I Was sleeping with S, cuddling him while watching a movie. the next day, i was his teaching assistant B: Out for dinner at a fancy restaurant! We then went to his place and slept together!!

4. Would you describe him/her as a crush or love? maybe a crush

5. Finish the sentence “Having a tc is…” ...The best feeling ever

6. Do you remember when you first dreamed about him/her? (What happened in that dream?) It happened a long time ago so sadly no

7. Did he/she ever do something that made you think: “What? You are able to do this?” (I hope you understand what I mean ^^) Not yet

8. The colour that reminds you of your tc? How does this colour relate to him/her? Blue reminds me of B since he has this jumper that he wears that is blue Green for S because of a similar reason 

9. Please describe his/her character and if you want to, his/her teaching style. S is happy, full of energy and can hold a conversation with you for hours. B is humble about things and is here helpful! He is also very creative like S

10. When you think about him/her, do you think about *his/her first name* or about *Mr./Ms./Mrs. …*? Their nicknames I kind of made for them

11. Finish the sentence “My tc is my…” reason to go to school

12. Tell us about your weirdest dream you had with your tc in it. S and I were on a date, and we saw another teacher we knew run into the store that we were in. The teacher then yelled “WHERE ARE THEY?” And I said “there are these instead!” He then ran over to me, thanked me, and walked out like nothing happened

13. Name a line/lyric part from a song that just fits perfect to your tc situation. B: Powerful - Major Laser, Ellie Goulding and Tarrus Riley Line: “The stroke of your fingers The scent of your lingers My mind running wild The thoughts of your smile Oh, you gotta give me some” S: Forth of July - Sufjan Stevens  Line: “And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best Though it never felt right”

14. Your favourite song/soundtrack when it comes up to your tc? Encanto??? Idk

15. If you were able to dress your tc, what would you let them wear? Suits for both of them!!! I’ve wanted to know what S would look like in a suit! I’ve already seen B in one and he looked good

16. What was the first thought you ever had about your tc? Can’t remember really, which is sad

17. How long does he/she now teach on your school? How long do you know him/her or have him/her in a class? S has taught for 2 years and 3/4 and I had 1 class with him during lockdown. B has taught for 1 year and 3/4 and I had 2 classes with him last year and 1 this year. 

18. Tell us one random thing that happened with your tc and that you’ll never forget. S witnessing me fall over and B complimenting my drawings!

19. Standard: What does he/she teach? Bonus: If it’s just one subject: What else do you think should he/she teach? If it are two subjects: Which one does he/she teach you? If you have to choose one, in which one would you rather like to get taught by him/her? S teaches Science and Italian. He taught me Italian. B teaches English and he looks like a teacher that would teach Humanities.

20. Did you like the subject that he/she teaches you before he/she began to teach you in this class? Or did he/she arouse interest for you in their class? I liked the subjects that they taught me! 

21. Would you say your tc is the hottest teacher in your school?  Definitely! They are both hot! B with messy hair just sends me flying each time!

22. If you were able to tell your tc about everything without getting into trouble with your school, would you do it? Would you tell him/her the whole truth? Maybe. It depends

23. Name an object that always reminds you of your tc. S: anything to do with science  B: a book about a play

24. Ever had a crush on a celebrity, older than you, before or beside your tc? (On who was it?) Yes. I currently like Booboo Stewart. Especially when he played Jay from Descendants! (My sister is a descendants fan so that's how i got to know about him)

25. Is there a teacher you love in a different way than your tc? Not really

26. Do you know his/her handwriting? Do you like it? (If you want to and if it’s okay for you, post a pic of something your tc has written, for example in your folder etc.) I know both of their handwriting! It’s both really good! i may post it here when this month is done

27. Tell us about one funny thing he/she has done while you were NOT in class! I am not sure if they did anything. 

28. Would you say your tc is a good teacher? Do you like his/her teaching style? Of corse!

29. Ever met your tc privately? Or saw him/her outside of school? Well, kind of in a sense. We have met both of them in their offices lots of times, if that counts

30. Does somebody around you know about your feelings for him/her? This isn’t surprising, but yes. my friend knows i like them

31. If your tc is/was teaching you, how long has it took you to realise you have feelings for him/her? If he/she is not, how long did you just saw him/her in the halls until you realised you have feelings for him/her? For B, It took me half a year, and for S, it took around a year and a half

[shadowonwater]

Pokemon Scarlet Playthrough part 13: Clive reveals his true identity (who could have guessed), classes and hanging with teachers, Penny stole that money (called it) [Starfall Street Complete]

Playthrough Masterlist

So I walk up to the school and I see "Clive" at the gate. Clavell finally admits that it was him who was Clive all along. What a real shocker, who could have guessed. Then he tries to claim to be the Big Boss as well, which he obviously is not and battles me.

To be honest I didn't expect to battle him, so that caught me off guard. He has a full team and they are level 60. Looks like I'm on level again! I still win of course, but he did knock out one of my Pokemon due to a miscalculation on my part.

Me who sees Abomasnow, ah yes, grass is weak to flying, and ice is weak to fighting, therefore it's a great idea to send out my Flamigo. I completely forgot to account for flying being weak to ice. *Embarrassed laughter*

Well Clavell admits that he isn't the Big Boss (duh) but he's now convinced I can handle a fight with Penny. He bows to me, and I'm like wow, gotta make him proud now.

I will say that I thought the entrance was a weird place to have a battle, what with all the people in the area and all. Guess it's against the rules to do that because Tyme showed up and yelled at Clavell. Saying his excuses stink like "a Skuntank's behind" I love it when people use metaphor's with Pokemon. Just some good worldbuilding.

So yeah I really like Clavell character, he's a delight. And to think I thought he's be a bad guy after watching the trailers. He's just a goofy old man.

I'm going to do the rest of the classes next, interact with teachers, and then I'm going to the schoolyard to fight Penny. But that's tomorrow, I'm going to bed.

Art 6: Hassel talks about Marks and Ribbons. Apparently I can get the Best Friends Ribbon at Cascarrafa, I think that was where the water gym was. Checking the map... yes! It's the water gym city.

Art Final: I got medium candies this time, nice!

Battle Studies 6: Learning about link battles, not much to say.

Battle Studies final: Easy but I lost a point for choosing "auto fights" instead of "auto battles" a very arbitrary difference.

Biology 6: Jacq talks about Pokemon forms. He brings up that Phone Rotoms are special and can't possess other technology, this fuels my headcannon about Rotoms and how these Rotom are specifically breed for this purpose. He got cut off by the bell when trying to talk about regional forms, seems like something a bit too important to cut off if you ask me.

Biology final: Easy. Anyway I like the questions Jacq puts on the ends of his tests, I don't know why the Clavell is against them. It's not like I haven't seen that sort of thing irl. Like as long as it doesn't affect the grades and it's an optional question, and also not inappropriate to ask, it should be fine.

Home Ec 6: He talks about customization pretty much, including Rotom Phones. It's fun that he himself doesn't know where to get phone cases so a student says where to get them. I really liked his speech at the end, it was very sweet.

Home Ec Final: Easy. Sort of off topic, but on topic, I like to imagine Saguaro having a Patrick Warburton like voice.

Languages 6: One last lesson in listening to Pikachu I must be honest in that I found guessing it's emotion based off its sounds very difficult. I may have sound on but that doesn't mean I pay attention to what cries happen when, besides I don't even have my own Pikachu to learn its cries from. Well I do have one but I don't use it.

Languages Final: Well I got one of the Pikachu cries wrong for the same reason I listed above. Also I think it's weird that one his question's is just asking what his name is, like what kind of test question is that?!

Math 6: Tyme explains STAB moves. Its very basic, idk why she didn't explain that early. I mean I already know it but if you asked me STAB should come before moves that increase stats in battle.

Math final: I had to redo the test because I don't remember how much certain things multiply.

History 6: So Tera Orbs have something to do with Area Zero. So Tera Pokemon were first discovered in Area Zero, but why is it now a common occurrence outside of Area Zero? Apparently only just 10 years ago (that's not long at all!), Sada figured out the Tera thing and she made Tera Orbs. But this still doesn't explain the Tera Pokemon in the wild outside Area Zero. Also Clavell was on her team, I suppose that's how they know each other?

History Final: Easy, but I am paying very close attention in this class, so no wonder it was easy. Unlike other tests where I usually already had the knowledge being asked about.

Oh and now I've passed everything I also get some large candies, cool!

Now it's time to talk to the teachers again!...But first I decided to use my additional candies to evolve some Pokemon for the Pokedex. I then tried a bit of grinding to level up a few more. I only bring this up because I found another shiny, and I actually caught it this time! So now I have a shiny Capsakid.

I also used a Thunderstone to evolve the free flying Pikachu. I bring this up because I'm happy I was was allowed to evolve it, I like Raichu more than Pikachu and I'm sick of all the special Pikachu that can't be evolved.

Talking to Raifort now! She conforms that the four Pokemon of ruin are real, which was quite clear as a player. She says she found it in a newspaper "of all places" newspapers are a great way to find info like that when researching. So the stakes, as I correctly figured out, are what is sealing the Pokemon. There are eight stakes for each in the areas "surrounding the shrine" not sure how true that is, I swear I've found yellow stakes all over the place.

Raifort has marked the spots where the shrines are on my map, I already found two on my own but I guess this can tell me where the other two are. It's too bad Raifort can't go adventuring with me, but I will say that could work as a potential fanfic, freeing the Pokemon from the shrines with your history teacher.

So I knew about the Groundblight Shrine and the Grasswither Shrine. But not the Icerend Shrine or the Firescourge Shrine. I wonder if I free the shrine Pokemon if I get more story with Raifort. I'm really eager to see what's hiding in those shrines. One thought that came to mind is that maybe instead of all those Yellow stakes maybe they were green and yellow but just a similar color? Would explain how I found so many yellow.

Talking to Hassel again. He tells off someone in his family for trying to drags him away from what he's passionate about. Also he implies that she may have been lying about his father's health to get him to come back to the family. Anyway he gave me 50 Dragon Tera shards! So if I wanted to I could change the Tera of one of my Pokemon to dragon if I wish. I wonder what rewards I get for getting to the end of the storyline with other teachers.

Considering Raifort still has the "!" but nothing happens when I talk to her I think that means that I indeed need to figure out what lies behind the gates to complete her storyline.

So Salvatore is keeping the Pawmi, just as I figured would happen. He's seems to have a preference towards electric Pokemon what with having a Pikachu and also a Raichu pin. Now he also has a Pawmi. Anyway I suppose the Pawmi might not be deaf or mute, per say, but more like selectively mute, like Red. He gave me a Galarian Meowth, a pretty cool prize, ngl.

Talking to Miriam now. She passed her exam! Good for her. She also gave me 10 Max Revives, nothing too exciting, but I'll take it.

Talking to Saguaro now. Apprently the sweet condiment he wanted is the sweet herba mystica. He asks me to share some if I ever found any. Considering the fact that you can only get the herba mystica in area zero I guess that means I need to wait a bit more I can finish his story line.

Talking to Dendra now. She's taking a break from sandwich making. But her goal is to payback Miriam. Oh yeah, I'm 100% to ship them lol. She gave me a bunch of protein.

I meant to talk to Tyme who was in the courtyard next but even though it was starting to look bright out it started the continuation of the Starfall story anyway. So yeah I guess I'm going to do that now.

So where to begin... of course I was right that Penny was both Cass and the Big Boss. She finally revealed herself and wanted to fight me as the Big Boss of Team Star. I wasn't sure what she would have been given her iconic Eevee backpack my best guess was that her team would be all Eeveelutions. Looks like I was correct! The fight went pretty easy.

But I must say! Penny's theme is an absolute banger! I gotta listen to it some more some time it is so good!

Clavall reveals his true identity to Penny and she is actually surprised. Penny are you face blind or something? It was obvious who Clive was. And he asked the question that I've been asking for a long time. Why Operation Starfall? If you're the Big Boss why didn't you just tell them to diband?

Well as it turned out she did tell them to stop, all the way back after the incident. They just choose not to listen to her and are surprised when she didn't show up again. So she thought if she told them now to stop, they would continue to not listen because technically she's not allowed to order them. Fair enough.

The incident in question. From the sounds of it they rolled up in their wild outfits and giant cars and basically threatened their bullies. The bullies were scared and told everybody about how scary Team Star was and dropped out of school to avoid them. So everyone thinks that Team Star is up to no good, hence the rumors.

The moment the Penny meet her Team Star friends face to face was really sweet. Really liked that bit where they all said Hasta la Vistar. I wonder who in the group came up with that catchphrase.

I'm glad those Team Star bases will go to good use. And that the Team Star raids will probably be seen as a fun challenge for trainers to take on. Hope they'll still hand out a commemorative badge to those who win, that'll be cool.

And my theory that Penny stole that money was correct! There was already that mention of hackers stealing LP from league servers, and what with Penny being a hacker and all... So yeah Penny is a thief! Be gay do crimes?

I haven't gotten Penny on the Team yet nor have a gotten a "Starfall Street Complete" message. So I'm guessing something else needs to happen? Not sure what though. But I am going to finally talk to Tyme again.

Now talking to Tyme. Ok so her stalker situation is now dealt with. A girl who's a fan of Tyme's time as a gym leader. Tyme said her sister now runs the gym. I thought the similarities between Tyme and Ryme were just a coincidence... but maybe not. She also gave me a bunch of Tera Rock shards.

So I went outside and there was Penny! So that was how the story continued. She now owes me one, she says, and this will be cashed in later to break into Area Zero.

I don't think I said this earlier but I figured Penny would be hired for cyber security by the League. Don't like someone hacking you? Try hiring them to stop others from hacking you. So it seems that that is indeed what happened.

Also apparently the six of them came up with the Team Star catchphrase together.

Anyway that'll be all for this post, next post I'm going to take on the Pokemon League. I'm going to see if I can find those two other gates now that I know where they should be. Hasta la vistar!

[nemesyaaa]

oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ??? LORD ???? that was fucking amazing and wow i'm just speechless ?? it was feeling like watching a show ?? BUT ALL THE EMOTIONS OMGG ?? RAFE PISSED ME OFF. DON'T EVEN FUCKING STARTING ME WITH JILLIAN LMFAOOO. THEM BOTH I WANT TO CRASH THEM. AND IF I CATCH YOU RAFE CAMERON, YOU BETTER RUN.

TYSM FOR MAKING KELCE NOT SUCH A ASSHOLE. BC I FEEL LIKE KELCE IS NOT A BAD FRIEND. LESS THAN TOPPER AT LEAST. WANT TO THROW RAFE'S CAP IDK WHERE BUT OMGG WAS SO GOOD 😭😭💖 I ENJOYED THIS TOO MUCH I FEAR. AND THE LITTLE BACKSTORY PART ?? TYSM FOR INTRODUCING US SO WELL IN THAT UNIVERSE. I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE

“I thought he was on archery duty,” Kie mumbles as you look down from the lifeguard tower on the 6’2” nightmare of a man strutting toward the water. He sets the whistle in his mouth, hands resting on his toned hips, his stupid backward cap on his perfectly quaffed head of hair. Rafe motherfucking Cameron. — LMDAOOO HIS STUPID BACKWAED CAP. THIS IS TOO REAL IM SCREAMING 😭😭😭😭💀

This is where I go to find peace. Where I go to make a little extra cash for the summer. Camp Salem is mine, and it always has been. Rafe’s whistle screams through the noise, making all heads turn to him just like he likes. Always and forever the center of attention. “No roughhousin’. Aight? I’m not gonna rescue your ass. If you drown, you drown,” he barks, fishing a fresh spliff out from behind his ear, replacing it with his whistle. — WHY HE'S ALREADY BARKING ?? BRO IS THE BEGINNING. SAVE YOUR RUDENESS.

“What the hell is he doing?” You scoff in disbelief as he lights up a smoke in front of the kids. You hear a wolf whistle come from the woods. Rafe turns over his shoulder with a smile, ignoring the swimmers as he watches Kelce and Topper hike toward the shore with a cooler. — PLEASE. SOMEONE FIRE HIM.

”Shut the fuck up,” he stops you before you can even start chewing him out, pointing his big fingers and lit joint up at you before taking another drag. “M’fuckin’ thirsty. Okay? It’s 100 fuckin’ degrees, princess. Have some goddamn compassion,” he taunts through a thick cloud of smoke, catching a beer as Kelce lofts it in the air, the brunette quickly cracking it open. — THE PRINCESS NICKNAME....IM SORRY, BUT IT'S KINDA HOT THERE ???

“If you've got shit to say, you can say it to my face... Ya know, scratch that. I vividly remember tellin’ you to shut the fuck up.” Your mouth falls open in disgust, the sour expression on your face making him smile smugly. “You hear me that time, or are you hard of hearin’, sweet cheeks?” — SWEET CHEEKS ???? CRYING 😭😭🥹

"Hard to watch," Kie continues mockingly. "You know… I know Rafe all too well. That's Sarah’s older brother. He’s a mess, y/n. A literal walking red flag: drug dealer, cliché frat boy douchebag, daddy issues up the ass, sex addict… A fuck boy, at the very least. Are you sure you even wanna mess with that?” She looks back at you in disdain that you even showed the slightest bit of attraction in the first place. — MASSIVE RED FLAG. LMFAOOO SHE'S NOT TENDER WITH HIM. SHE'S RUINING ALL HIS CHANCES 💀💀

“You gave him “the eyes”,” she knocks. “You like him, which is fine, I guess… He’s just gonna be a fuckin’ problem for you. A big problem. HUGE. Mark my words. You did not choose an easy one.” — NOT THE ONLY THING THAT'S HUGE ABOUT HIM I BELIEVE...

"Oh, hey," Rafe whispers, not the least bit concerned about class starting. You look over at him, catching his flirty smile as he fishes his phone out of his pocket. “Before I forget again. Can I get your number?” — BROOOO IS VERY FAST WTFFFF

Fuck, she’s hot. And she knows it, too. Those legs, that dress, those fuckin' tits… She sneaks little glances at me out of the corner of her eye, positioning her body to get even closer. She’s a good girl. So damn good. I can tell she's a sweetheart. She’s gotta be a virgin… Or is she? Either way, I can’t wait to show her a thing or two. I’m gonna ruin this girl. It’s been a week since I saw her last. I was hopin’ I’d see her on campus, get her number, set somethin’ up. Shit… This is the best case scenario. — THIS IS WHY I LOVE RAFE'S POV SO MUCH. LIKE YES, TELL ME WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ME

“By who?” I mock him, scowling in disgust. “You that dumb?”“No shit she's hot.” I scoff as I stand up, heading out before any of the boys can catch up with me. “Stay in your fuckin’ lane, bitch.” — TOPPER AND RAFE ARGUING IS SO FUNNY TO ME PLEASE

"I really like you," he hums. “Fuck. I like you a lot, princess.” — WOZOKSSLIEIZOSZ PLEASE STOOPP 😵😵😵🙂‍↕️

“What? Did you want more?” He asks as his big hand slips under your sweatshirt, tracing your lower back. — OK, I'M DOWN BAD FOR THIS MAN.

I don't want to be casual. I don't want to be one of “his girls”. Kie said he has daddy issues… Maybe that's why he’s too afraid to commit to us—to me. — PLEASE CASUAL BY CHAPELL ROAN.

Every night I’m pulling myself away right before I take it any further just waiting for his actions to match his words. But it’s getting harder… It’s next to impossible to push aside my urges. I've touched his body; felt the deep ridges of his abs under his shirt, the muscles of his broad chest pressed against the palms of my hands. I've stroked his thick cock over his grey sweats, sucking his tip through the fabric, getting us both off just grinding on his lap alone. — FUCK, HE'S TOO SEXY. I GASPED MAN.

“Just frat stuff, princess. M’sorry,” he mutters. “Just focus on us. Yeah?” — HE'S SO SWEET IN A WAY 😮‍💨😮‍💨

"I'll talk to him later, princess.""Take. It." — LMFAOO READER IS IN COMMAND

"I'm so fuckin' done, Rafe. Just - Fuck! Just leave me alone!" You hiss. — TELL HIM.

“Shit, y/n. She’s - She's just a friend, baby. Yeah, we fuck. But, she means nothing to me. Nothing. And, I mean nothing to her I swear. C’mon. You're my girl. Just stop.” — WHAT A PATHETIC MAN.

“Don’tchu think you're overreacting a little bit?” He drawls. His question setting you off further. — I HATE HIM. I HATE MEN.

"Shit! Fuck. Just stop. It’s not all my fault. Okay? You - You can’t keep acting like you’re acting either. I had no clue if you really liked me or not. I didn’t think you were actually gonna fuck me. You’re teasing me, you're a fuckin’ tease, y/n. Always keeping me on the edge. I have needs-” — SLAP HIM PLEASE. SLAP HIM.

“What? I’m not teasing you, Rafe. And needs? We’ve only been talking for a month. A MONTH! I know you have needs. So do I. But it’s hard to let myself go around you and take it to the next level when you’re always looking around for the next best thing. Because if you were all in, Rafe, your needs would have been met week one.” — YES, TELL HIM READER 😡😡😡😡

“Yeah? Well, you're actin’ like a fuckin’ bitch.” — IM DONE WITH HIM.

I don't deserve y/n, and I never have. I fuckin’ hate myself. — YES. NOT GONNA HAVE PITY FOR YOU, RAFE.

"I was going to try… I was gonna try to make things right today. I just needed you to calm down. Jesus. You’re not even givin’ me a chance" — REMEBER WHEN I SAID IM DONE WITH HIM ?? STILL FUCKING DONE.

"What's that now?" He gasps dramatically, turning on his heels fast, looking at you wide-eyed. "You want me to fuck your ass, princess?" His sleazy frat boy laugh fills your ears. "Didn't see that comin'. Did you, Kelce?” — OH SOMEONE SHOOT ME BECAUSE I HAVE SUCH A PATHETIC RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS MAN WHO LOVE TO PLAY WITH MY FEELINGS 🫡🫡🫡

"Literally, the opposite of that,” he laughs, making Topper do the same. “I agree with everything Top said, bud. You ruined a good thing. N’for who?” He adds in a condescending tone, referencing the girls I usually bag—a direct shot at Jillian Tate. — KELCE 🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿🫶🏿‼️

“𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐩 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥” - 𝐀 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 | 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 𝐨𝐟 𝟑

+18 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓻 𝓓𝓝𝓘

𝙱𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚢𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚝!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝚂𝚠𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐆𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐏𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞 | 𝐒𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐤

*total fic is 15K - dropping daily

6.8K <- the first chapter is the longest 🩷

𝓇𝒶𝒻𝑒𝓎𝓈𝒸𝓊𝓇𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝒷𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝓀𝓉𝑜𝒷𝑒𝓇 - 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒

𝖒𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙/𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖉𝖚𝖑𝖊

⚠️warnings contain spoilers⚠️

Mean!Rafe, Bully!Rafe, bulling, Rafe is an ass, name calling, degredation, swearing, drinking, smoking, drug usage, kissing, praise, size kink, unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), oral (male receiving), rough oral, multiple orgasms, spanking, violence, fighting, ownership kink, pet names, multiple POVs, violence, gore, horror, stalking, blood mentioned, gaslighting, lovers to enemies to lovers, reader is quick to forgive, mentions of mutual masterbation, teasing, cheating

𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓑𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂: Sweetheart!Reader isn’t from the OB. She met Kiara (roomate) at college and quickly became friends with the Pogues. The group decided to join the reader, working at Camp Salem which she attended every summer since she was little. After junior high she became a camp counselor herself. Sweetheart!Reader is just that, a sweetheart. She’s a lover-girl and quick to forgive. She’s hard to read regarding her sexual experience—her sweetness is irresistible to Rafe. He fantasizes about corrupting her and stripping her of that. Sweetheart!Reader wears her heart on her sleeve, making her the perfect target for her bully, Rafe Cameron.

𝓡𝓪𝓯𝓮’𝓼 𝓑𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂: Canon-wise this Rafe is the closest to Season 1 Rafe. He is the definition of touch starved, touched but untouched, craving intimacy because it makes him feel better, even if it's just for a few moments. The only awful thing he did in his past in this AU is to be an asshole to the Pogues. He and the Kook trio are serving community service hours assigned from the university at Camp Salem after getting in trouble for something at the end of the last school year (undisclosed drinking violation). This being something they couldn’t pay their way out of.

Reader’s POV:

“I thought he was on archery duty,” Kie mumbles as you look down from the lifeguard tower on the 6’2” nightmare of a man strutting toward the water. He sets the whistle in his mouth, hands resting on his toned hips, his stupid backward cap on his perfectly quaffed head of hair. Rafe motherfucking Cameron.

“Him and JJ wouldn't stop arguing… Mrs. Mazie was worried one of them would…” You let your voice trail away as you mimic drawing the bow back, shooting and arrow straight at Rafe.

“Fair. That tracks,” Kiara laughs weakly—nothing surprising either of you anymore.

This is where I go to find peace. Where I go to make a little extra cash for the summer. Camp Salem is mine, and it always has been. Rafe’s whistle screams through the noise, making all heads turn to him just like he likes. Always and forever the center of attention. “No roughhousin’. Aight? I’m not gonna rescue your ass. If you drown, you drown,” he barks, fishing a fresh spliff out from behind his ear, replacing it with his whistle.

“What the hell is he doing?” You scoff in disbelief as he lights up a smoke in front of the kids. You hear a wolf whistle come from the woods. Rafe turns over his shoulder with a smile, ignoring the swimmers as he watches Kelce and Topper hike toward the shore with a cooler.

“What do you think’s in there?” Kiara groans, but you both know the answer. Beer.

“Rafe, are you kiddin-”

”Shut the fuck up,” he stops you before you can even start chewing him out, pointing his big fingers and lit joint up at you before taking another drag. “M’fuckin’ thirsty. Okay? It’s 100 fuckin’ degrees, princess. Have some goddamn compassion,” he taunts through a thick cloud of smoke, catching a beer as Kelce lofts it in the air, the brunette quickly cracking it open.

“Isn’t this the kinda shit that got him in trouble in the first place?” You backchat to Kie, catching Rafe’s ears as well.

“The fuck you talkin’ out of your ass for like you know me. Huh?” He spits.

“I was talkin’ to Kie.”

“If you've got shit to say, you can say it to my face... Ya know, scratch that. I vividly remember tellin’ you to shut the fuck up.” Your mouth falls open in disgust, the sour expression on your face making him smile smugly. “You hear me that time, or are you hard of hearin’, sweet cheeks?”

“Loud n’ clear,” you sigh and roll your eyes away, returning your attention to the water to do his job.

“Rafe,” Kelce calls out, taking a few steps back with the football. Rafe runs closer to shore, right in your line of sight, slamming the rest of his beer as he runs. He crushes the can in his fist before catching the ball, making the two boys whistle and cheer.

“Your can, Rafe,” Kiara scolds pointing to the litter wedged in the sand.

“Think you got it, Kie,” he taunts, leaving it behind for Kiara to clean up out of spite. She flips him the bird, crossing her arms tightly over her chest, grumbling something about him being a useless asshole.

Why is he so fucking awful?

𝐹𝓁𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀…

"Do you know where you're going?" You whisper out of the corner of your mouth, grabbing the door for Kiara. The two of you press through the university doors, walking with the flow of traffic.

"No fuckin' clue," she chuckles. "I don't remember shit from orientation."

"Neither do I," you sigh, adjusting your book bag strap nervously.

"Hi, y/n." The sound of his voice sends you into a tailspin. Your breath hitches; heart, racing wildly.

Holy shit. Holy shit. Relax. Just relax. "Hi, Rafe," you smile, looking toward his deep voice, but he’s already down the hall, lost in a crowd of frat boys, vanishing behind the lecture hall doors.

"That was... Well... Umm-" Your roommate teases.

"Shut up-”

"Hard to watch," Kie continues mockingly. "You know… I know Rafe all too well. That's Sarah’s older brother. He’s a mess, y/n. A literal walking red flag: drug dealer, cliché frat boy douchebag, daddy issues up the ass, sex addict… A fuck boy, at the very least. Are you sure you even wanna mess with that?” She looks back at you in disdain that you even showed the slightest bit of attraction in the first place.

“All I said was ‘he was cute,’” you correct her, ambling toward the same lecture hall as Rafe, feeling your excitement rise.

"Yeah… Sure”

“What does that mean?” You scoff.

“You gave him “the eyes”,” she knocks. “You like him, which is fine, I guess… He’s just gonna be a fuckin’ problem for you. A big problem. HUGE. Mark my words. You did not choose an easy one.”

“I didn’t choose anyone…”

“Yeah? Well he chose you,” she adds cautiously as you walk through the doors, the two of you matching Rafe’s baby blues—the man clearly waiting to catch your eye again. The two of you walk toward the group of frat boys sprawled out in the back. Rafe slaps the guys next to him, whispering something that has them pushing down a couple seats.

Rafe’s gaze trails up your body as smirk rolls across his lips. Holy shit. You swallow hard, feeling your cheeks warm up. “Hi, Rafe," you breathe.

"Hey, Y/n," he welcomes you warmly.

"Can I sit here?"

”’Course you can,” Topper jumps into your conversation, speaking before Rafe can. Rafe furrows his brows, his glare cutting over to his friend. Jealousy? Maybe he’s interested. You take a seat in a desk, Rafe quickly adjusts to move a little closer, his muscular arm skimming yours.

“You settling in, sweetheart?” Sweetheart? Sweetheart. Me? Rafe gives you a sinful smile before wetting his plump bottom lip. He shifts slightly, letting his knee-graze yours as well. You hadn't seen him in a week. He was on campus helping his sister move into the dorms, sweetly offering to help you carry in your largest box when he saw you struggling in the stairwell. It was a small gesture, but honestly you've thought about it ever since.

“I am. Thank you,” you smile, going to speak again but you’re cut off by your professor's voice booming through the room.

"Oh, hey," Rafe whispers, not the least bit concerned about class starting. You look over at him, catching his flirty smile as he fishes his phone out of his pocket. “Before I forget again. Can I get your number?”

“Mhmm.” is all you can manage as you fumble for your phone and your words.

"You comin’ by the frat on Friday?"

“Friday? Yeah. Sure… Is there a party?”

“Yeah. First week of school. Of course, there’s a party. We should get together before then, though. What are you doin’ tonight?"

Tonight? "Oh. I-”

"I can stop by your dorm?" You feel his touch again as his rough finger brushes your thigh ever so slightly. “Just to hang out. We can relax, watch a movie, get to know each other better," he rasps. “Nothin’ more. Aight? I can tell you’re nervous, princess. I don’t wanna make you nervous,” he assures. Damn, that sounds like a lie, leaving his lips. His perfect fucking lips.

Damn… I'm in trouble.

“I’d love that.”

Rafe’s POV:

Atta girl.

Fuck, she’s hot. And she knows it, too. Those legs, that dress, those fuckin' tits… She sneaks little glances at me out of the corner of her eye, positioning her body to get even closer. She’s a good girl. So damn good. I can tell she's a sweetheart. She’s gotta be a virgin… Or is she? Either way, I can’t wait to show her a thing or two. I’m gonna ruin this girl. It’s been a week since I saw her last. I was hopin’ I’d see her on campus, get her number, set somethin’ up. Shit… This is the best case scenario.

Finally… I look up at the clock as it ticks to the top of the hour. I watch as she stands up from her seat, her little dress catching on her upper thighs. “I’ll see you later, Rafe,” she coos. “Nice to meet you, Topper.” She brushes her dress down, skirt shifting over her ass as she walks. Ugh, she's fuckin’ mine.

“Nice meetin’ you too, sweetheart.” Topper calls and I roll my eyes.

“Can you not read the room, Thornton. She’s taken,” I gloat as I watch her and Kie walk toward the steps. She glances back at me, giving me a wordless invitation. You want me to chase you, princess. I can do that.

“Taken? By who?”

“By who?” I mock him, scowling in disgust. “You that dumb?”

“Damn, she’s sexy,” Topper sighs blissfully, ignoring me completely, just provoking me. I throw my elbow at him, catching him in the gut.

“The fuck did I say?” I snap through a raspy laugh letting only a fraction of my annoyance bleed through. “Stop pushin’ me, Top.”

“M’just sayin’,” he laughs as he gathers his things too.

“No shit she's hot.” I scoff as I stand up, heading out before any of the boys can catch up with me. “Stay in your fuckin’ lane, bitch.”

"Where are you off to, Cameron?" Topper yells through the lecture hall.

"Guess, buddy,” I smirk at him before passing through the doors. Y/n seperates from Kiara. Thank, god. She looks from the left to the right, settling on the right. "Wrong way, sweetheart," I call. Y/n turns on her heels, the corners of her pouty lips curling into a smile. "You're looking for your next class. Yeah? Freshman math?”

"Mhmm. Yeah... Will you help me?" She questions. "I don't remember anything from orientation."

"Of course," I smile warmly as she looks up at me. "You know the professor’s name?”

“Shell-Shell something….”

“Shellenberger.”

“I think so.”

“Well, sweetheart. I think you're right. Stupid fuckin’ name. How are you supposed to remember that shit? Huh?” I laugh lightly, making her return a giddy, nervous giggle in agreement. She pulls out her schedule and I bite back a smile as I watch the paper quiver slightly in her trembling hand. “Mhmm… Over here." I rest my hand on the small of her back, guiding her in the right direction.

"Shit," she grumbles, tossing her gaze down in defeat. "I'm such a freshman.”

"Nothin’ wrong with that. You’ll figure it out," I breathe, brushing my hand lightly over the top of hers. Y/n takes a little breath, biting her glossy bottom lip between her teeth at the slightest bit of contact between the two of us. Shit. She’s stunning…

We round the corner, stepping toward her next class. “Well thank you, Rafe,” she smiles as she steps away again but I reach out for her hand, leading her back to me.

“You got a few minutes?” I ask, my question making her beautiful eyes sparkle as her body pulls closer and closer as I take the opportunity to lead her away from the crowd. "It’s been like, what, a week? I’ve been thinkin’ about you a lot,” I mumble. She takes a little breath, trying to think of something to say but she’s a little too flustered. “You're beautiful.” I lose her completely as she glances away bashfully before returning her eyes to mine.

"Thank you, Rafe," she murmurs. Shit. I can get used to that... My name sounds so good on her lips.

"So, am I gonna get you alone tonight?" I ask, making her eyes widen and flutter.

“Oh. Umm… Yeah. I think I can talk Kie into leaving,” she whispers delightedly.

"That’s great news, sweetheart. Just perfect," I smile as I rest my hand against the wall, moving nearer, giving us a little more privacy. “I’d ask you to come to the frat house but it’s pretty crazy right now. And I think Top has a crush on you too. Can’t have that...”

She scrunches her cute nose, clearly uninterested in him, still playing sweet regardless. “I think he was just bein’ nice.”

“Nah… You shoulda heard him talkin’ about you when you left. I mean he’s my buddy, but the guy’s a dog. Ya know?”

”Really?”

”Mhmm… Don’t worry. I had your back. Thornton’s a dick… I set him straight.”

”Thank you,” she smiles sweetly.

“‘Course. Well, I’ll see you tonight. Hmm?” I ask, watching as her smile creeps a little wider as she hugs her books a little tighter.

“See you tonight.”

Reader’s POV:

Your mind starts to race as the movie continues, each passing minute drawing the two of you closer and closer. Rafe smirks down at you, watching your cozy shorts ride up on your thigh as you move your leg just over the top of his. His large, ringed hand traces over your skin, gripping you tight.

The night’s played out like a game of checkers; Rafe, waiting on you to make your move before he made his next, careful to not skip ahead or go too far. He’s been nothing but a gentleman, but that hunger inside you wishes he would just push all that aside. Should I just go for it? I can’t help but get caught up staring at his lips. Kissing on the first night… Is that too forward? Damn. I don’t think I’ve focused on a second of this movie.

The scenes blur together, your thoughts flurry your mind as your heart pounds louder than the sound of the movie. The rapid beating thumps in your ears, embarrassingly so. You look up at him, wondering if he hears it as well, but he smiles at you sweetly. “You alright, princess,” Rafe asks, his voice deep and husky, making your stomach flutter at the sound. Just go for it... If you don’t do it now, you'll regret it. I’ve heard the way the girls on campus talk about him—seen the way they look at him. If I sit here and do nothing, he’s gonna find someone who will…

You sling your leg over fully, taking a seat on Rafe’s lap as your sexual tension boils over. It’s like he was already waiting, his large arm quickly wraps around your waist, pulling you even closer, his other hand drifts into your hair, twisting in your strands, taking you by surprise when his lip crash into yours. You gasp; lips parting slightly, letting Rafe’s tongue slips between, making all your tension melt away.

You match his pace, slowing down with him, savoring the feeling of his soft lips against yours. A low groan escapes him, landing on yours lips, sending chills down to your spine, straight to your throbbing core. Rafe pulls back slightly, leaving you panting, searching for him. “Fuck, Rafe," you breathe in a voice you've never used before as he latches onto your neck; sucking, licking, bitting, making you tilt your head back. He chuckles sinfully against your skin, lighting you on fire before softening his touch completely, working his way back up to your mouth. His kiss-swollen lips ghost over the top of yours, brushing softly.

"I really like you," he hums. “Fuck. I like you a lot, princess.”

"I like you too, Rafe."

”You do?” He croons, the timbre of his voice torturing you.

”I do,” you whisper as you fingers scratch into the hair at the nape of his neck, subtly pulling him in but he hangs back.

"It’s late. What is it? 2 am?" Rafe smiles against your mouth, teasing you shamelessly. He knows exactly what you want but he’s holding true to most of his word from the earlier in the day. “I said we were just hangin’ out, baby. We already went too far…”

“You’re teasing me,” you whisper.

“What? Did you want more?” He asks as his big hand slips under your sweatshirt, tracing your lower back.

“I do,” you whisper needily.

“Mmm’guess, we’re just gonna have to get together tomorrow. Huh?”

“No. I-” You answer quickly. “No…”

“No?” He bullies you, giving you that old money laugh. “You don’t wanna hang out with me, sweetheart?” Rafe whispers warmly against your hot skin.

“You know what I mean,” you sigh, finding yourself at the crossroads between frustration and lust, completely dizzy with the thought of him. Fully consumed in Rafe Cameron. Every part of you wanting every piece of him.

“Tomorrow?”

"Tomorrow," you sigh.

It’s only been a month but, fuck, it feels like longer. I’ve gotten to see him interact with his frat brothers and other girls and it just feels different. He’s so cold and gruff but when he’s around me it’s like that icy exterior melts away. It’s addicting getting to see this side of him— like it’s reserved for me and only me.

There are moments, though… moments where I question if I’m all he wants. I mean, I can tell he likes me, but it’s almost like he’s keeping other girls on standby just in case. Whenever I see him in the hall, he’s always stepping away from a conversation with a different girl or setting his phone face down on the desk before I take a seat… And, it’s moments like that where I get more and more unsure…

Rafe can see it too. I swear he can hear what I’m thinking because he’s quick to assure me I'm way off the mark. He says all the right things, swearing up and down that he’s only interested in me. It’s hard to deny that way he looks at me—the way he touches me: tender and rough, ebbing and flowing between the two leaving me like putty in hands. It’s hard to deny that fact when our talks get deeper and deeper. He confides in me. He tells me things I have to promise not to tell anyone else. I can see him letting his guard down. He’s a very different Rafe than the world knows. He’s my Rafe.

I don't want to be casual. I don't want to be one of “his girls”. Kie said he has daddy issues… Maybe that's why he’s too afraid to commit to us—to me.

Every night I’m pulling myself away right before I take it any further just waiting for his actions to match his words. But it’s getting harder… It’s next to impossible to push aside my urges. I've touched his body; felt the deep ridges of his abs under his shirt, the muscles of his broad chest pressed against the palms of my hands. I've stroked his thick cock over his grey sweats, sucking his tip through the fabric, getting us both off just grinding on his lap alone.

Maybe that next level of intamacy is the connection we need. Maybe sex is all it’ll take. I'm not a virgin. What am I holding out for anyways? Maybe if I give him what I know he wants he’ll be all in. I want him—but I want to feel secure. I want his eyes to stop wandering. I want to be everything he wants. I just don't think I am.

BEEP. BEEP.

You look out your dorm room window as Rafe leans out of his truck with a smile, beckoning you to come outside. You gather your things, running down the stairwell, before making your way out the front door. Rafe’s eyes rake over your body, taking in the view as you walk toward his ride.

He hops out just before you make your way there, pulling you into his arms, looking down at you with a smile. “Damn, you look so fuckin’ pretty,” he praises breathlessly, leaning in for a kiss, claiming your lips. Butterflies swirl in your stomach, tummy fluttering with excitement. You smile against his lips, breathing a similar sentiment against his, praising how handsome he looks in his crisp white shirt and jeans. “Thank you, princess. You ready to get outta here?” He asks, popping open his passenger’s door, taking your overnight bag off your hands, helping you inside.

His smile widens a little more as you silently set the plans, you, having no intentions of going home as you usually do. He trots around to the driver’s side, a little more pep in his step, tossing your bag in the back before turning the key. “You stayin’ with me tonight, princess?” Rafe asks, through a boyish smile he’s trying his best to contain. Your heart sings seeing him this excited. Maybe I was right.

You roll up to the frat. The large mini mansion flooded with people inside and out, music pouring from the windows and open doors. It’s a madhouse. Rafe chuckles, looking out onto the mess. Just another weekend… “You ready?” He asks as he turns his head to the side, tilting it slightly as his smiles.

“M’ready.”

Rafe helps you out of the car, walking hand-and-hand with you inside the space. Cigarette and weed smoke hangs heavy in the air, mixing with the sticky sweetness of cheap liquor. Rafe walks through the party, greeting the masses as he passes brother after brother, the two of you moving deeper and deeper into the party. He lifts your bag by the strap, gesturing to ask if you want to put this in his room. You nod and smile knowing that there’s no chance you’re leaving if he gets his way.

The two of you walk up the stairs, stepping down the hall, excitement rising as you get closer and closer until he pushes through his bedroom door. As soon as it opens, it shuts again; Rafe backing you against the entry, slamming his lips against yours, wanting nothing more than his mouth on yours. He lifts you into his strong arms, deepening the kiss; the two of you quickly finding your tempo.

Rafe pulls you off the wall, walking with you to his bed, laying you down on top. He grabs the back of his baseball cap, pulling it off his head before tossing it to the side, quickly tearing his shirt away. Your eyes widen at the sight of his broad, bare chest, fully exposed. His gold chain glints with his quickened breathing—his toned abs, and deep v-lines kiss the band of his Calvin Klein boxer, poking out of his jeans. He crawls toward you, rolling his big body into yours, crushing you under his weight as he kisses you again, grinding at the perfect cadence. You whimper into your kiss, making him moan into your parted mouth.

DING.

Rafe pulls away from your kiss, grabbing his phone out of his back pocket, eyeing the screen before setting it down on his nightstand. You look back up at him, Rafe not missing a beat, his lips quickly greeting yours again. His tongue slides between your lips, reeling with yours, making you feel like you could float away.

DING. DING. DING.

You're pulled back to reality, stomach plunging as Rafe gets back-to-back notifications. He starts to kiss you a little deeper, your attention obviously getting pulled elsewhere, going out of his to bring your focus back to him, biting your lip and squeezing your hip, whispering sweet-nothings to cloud your thoughts.

DING.

“Rafe…” You sigh, unable to concentrate.

“Just frat stuff, princess. M’sorry,” he mutters. “Just focus on us. Yeah?”

DING.

“Can you at least put it on silent?” You clip as you grab for his phone, catching a name.

Jilly Tate

Jillian? As in Delta Gamma Jillian? You look up at Rafe uneasily. He takes his phone back, flicking the device on silent before returning to your lips.

“Stop,” you whisper.

“What? Why?” He asks dumbly, like he doesn’t already know you know something’s up, continuing to kiss the corner of your lips and cheek as he reaches over, setting his phone down. Without thinking you reach for it, snagging it off the nightstand before opening up his messages. “What are you doin’?” He huffs like he’s got something to hide.

And he does.

Jilly Tate: Rafey

Jilly Tate: Are you partying tonight?

Jilly Tate: Rafe Cameron??

Jilly Tate: you better not be busy again

Jilly Tate: I’m gonna need you to convince me to get out of bed

Jilly Tate: you better make it worth my while?

Jilly Tate: Maybe you need some motivation.

You look up at him as he looks down at you uneasily, not knowing what you’re reading, just knowing who it’s from. He can see the sadness in your eyes, letting him know that it’s most likely not something you weren’t meant to see. You flick your franic finger fast scrolling a little higher, catching pages and pages of messages populating from this week and last

"So, are you… Are you hanging out with Jillian too?" You force the words past your lips, trying to remain as unbothered as possible.

"Yeah, Y/n. Nothing there. Just friends. I swear." Just friends... That doesn’t look like just friends. "Y/n... you okay, baby?" He asks, knowing full-well you aren’t.

"Uh, yeah-yeah. I'm alright," you lie as you look at his phone, watching as three little dots appear, a new message forming from Jillian.

Goddamit, Rafe. You shut your eyes softly, doing your best not to cry as you see the image: blonde curls, piled in a messy bun, pouted lips, and bedroom eyes. A mirror selfie on her bed. Just Rafe’s oversized frat T-shift and a barely-there thong swallowed up by her perfect ass. "Sweetheart?" He asks again, his voice a little more unsure than the first time.

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

Fuck off... Absolutely not. Yet another message rolls in. Rafe’s eyes tighten to yours. "Calm down, Rafe. It’s Topper," you mutter.

"He’s probably just wonderin’ where I’m at, baby.”

Fuck that. You open the message, typing a ‘call me’ reply before taking it off silent, setting it down on the bed before looking up at Rafe; your frusterstion peaked. The tears you’re trying to contain haze your eyes. Rafe clearly has something going on with Jillian. Even if I'm somehow mistaken, he's still getting text— still getting together with her, still getting sexts.

RING. RING. RING.

"Take it,” you whisper.

"I'll talk to him later, princess."

"Take. It."

"Y/n. I-"

CLICK.

Rafe’s eyes double as you make the decision for him, hitting the accept button, putting it on speaker as well. You lift an eyebrow in his direction, challenging him to speak.

"Uh... Umm. Hey, Top."

"Yo. You comin’ or what? Where are you?" He yells over the party downstairs.

"M’up in my room. I’ll be down in a few minutes. I gotta go, man."

"Wait a second... Are you with Jillian?"

"Holy shit," you respire, pinching your eyes shut. A few stray tears fall. You lift your finger fast, brushing them away before he can see.

“No.”

"Bullshit, man. I hear her. Hi, Jilly." You reach up, shoving Rafe off you before crawling off the bed, gathering your things on the floor before bounding toward the door as those same tears stream down your cheeks. Goddammit. Rafe reaches out for you, hauling you back in; his cheeks, flushed; eyes darting frantically.

"Let me go, Rafe.”

"Y/n, please. I can explain.”

"I'm so fuckin' done, Rafe. Just - Fuck! Just leave me alone!" You hiss.

“Shit, y/n. She’s - She's just a friend, baby. Yeah, we fuck. But, she means nothing to me. Nothing. And, I mean nothing to her I swear. C’mon. You're my girl. Just stop.”

"All you do is fuck? Like you’re fucking her still?" You ask as you step toe to toe with him, looking up at his flustered face, silently pleading he isn't doing just that.

"Y/n..." He is… Oh my god. “Baby, please.”

"I'm not your fuckin' baby, Rafe."

"It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? You're joking… What are you doing? Why are you playing me?”

”I’m not playing you?”

”Yes you are!”

”Fucking how? How the hell am I playin’ you. Huh? Been hanging out with you all month. Asked you to come here didn’t I? I’m in here with you right now. Not her. Didn’t even tell her we were havin’ a fuckin’ party. Alright? How am I possibly playin’ you?”

“Why are you gaslighting me? You’re acting like I didn’t just read those fucking texts, Rafe? You said I was the only one you wanted but you were obviously still talking to her; fucking her. If I couldn’t come to this fuckin’ party would you be doing this same shit with her?”

“No! The fuck are you even sayin’ that for? Fake-ass scenarios. Throwing a bitch fit about ‘what ifs’. I'm here with you. I only want you-”

“Bullshit.”

“It’s not bullshit,” he booms. “I like you. Okay? Tate and I haven’t fucked in days. You and I finally started gettin’ serious. I told her I was done. I suppose you read that too though. Right?”

“Days? Days, Rafe? How many?”

“I don’t know…” He mumbles. You roll your eyes, stepping away but he tugs you back in again.

“Finally started getting serious? Did you actually say that, Rafe?” You soften your voice in sadness. Rafe looks back at you dumbfounded as tears of frustration pool in his eyes too.

“I’m sorry for saying that. I know we're serious, baby.”

“I don't think you do, Rafe...” Rafe puffs out a deep, vexed breath as he runs his fingers through his hair, brushing his bangs off his sweaty forehead, either stalling or trying to calm himself down but regardless he's at a complete loss for words. “Nothing? Seriously…”

“Don’tchu think you're overreacting a little bit?” He drawls. His question setting you off further.

“Overracting? Because if roles were reversed and I was fucking Top it would be “nothing”?”

“That’s not the same and you know it, y/n.”

“So after you left my dorm you were just going and getting pussy from her because you weren’t getting any from me?”

”What?” His voice comes out breathy and hoarse at your accusations. He lifts the collar of his shirt, wiping the tears from his eyes.

”Did you leave my dorm and come back here and fuck her?” You speak slowly, asking him a simple question there was no way he couldn’t understand. He hangs his head, sniffling pitifully. “I can’t believe I wanted to be with you. I can’t believe I wanted to fuck you. Jesus, Rafe. I’m a goddamn idiot.” Rafe’s eyes snap to yours, his gaze wild as he takes in your words.

"Please. Fuck. I'm sorry. I'll change. I swear. I-"

"I’m done, Rafe. I don’t trust you. How can I trust you. You said ‘you liked me’, you said ‘I was the only one’. You lied about Jillian… You couldn’t even tell Topper that you were in here with me. That’s so fucking embarrassing.”

"Shit! Fuck. Just stop. It’s not all my fault. Okay? You - You can’t keep acting like you’re acting either. I had no clue if you really liked me or not. I didn’t think you were actually gonna fuck me. You’re teasing me, you're a fuckin’ tease, y/n. Always keeping me on the edge. I have needs-”

“What? I’m not teasing you, Rafe. And needs? We’ve only been talking for a month. A MONTH! I know you have needs. So do I. But it’s hard to let myself go around you and take it to the next level when you’re always looking around for the next best thing. Because if you were all in, Rafe, your needs would have been met week one.”

“I am all in!"

“You’re not. You just want me ‘cause I said I wanted to fuck, Rafe. I’m not dumb,” you grumble. “You’re just a fuckin’ douchebag,” you spit yanking your arm away before starting down the hall. His heavy feet tromp after you, following you close.

“You’re not listening to me, Y/n. Do you even hear what you’re sayin’ to me. You’re actin’ like such a victim but you were feelin’ insecure all fuckin’ month and you weren’t tellin’ me. Just holdin’ out on me because you thought I wanted other people; ‘always looking for the next best thing’ or whatever the fuck. You’re takin’ your insecurities out on me.”

You turn around fast, pushing your finger into his chest roughly. Looking up into his pathetic, tear-stained eyes. “Was I wrong, Rafe? You gave me reason to worry and I was fuckin’ right,” you scold as you jab your finger into his heart, punctuating each word. “How do you think that feels? Huh? Then you stand here trying to turn the blame on me. You’re not a fuckin’ man… You’re a boy.”

“Yeah? Well, you're actin’ like a fuckin’ bitch.”

“I’m acting like a bitch?” You ask weakly, watching as Rafe’s bottom lip trembles. “Fuck you, Rafe.”

You move to the staircase, pushing through the party as adrenaline and fever courses through your veins, your tears making it impossible to see. Fuck this whole month. Fuck this night. Fuck Rafe. You run your hand across your eyes, collecting tears as you pull out your phone, scouring for an UBER. I just need to get home. I just want to forget this ever fucking happened. But how am I going to forget about him?

I fuckin’ can’t.

Rafe’s POV:

”You were up there with, Y/n?” Topper asks in disbelief. “You two together?”

"Nah. Not anymore." I lift my beer to my lips as I scan the thick crowd gathered in the frat house.

"Not anymore?"

I can hear the judgment laced in Topper’s voice. I roll my eyes in annoyance. "What’s it matter to you"

"Y/n is a dream. I know you're incapable of playin’ the long game, but Jesus Christ,” he snickers drunkenly.

"She's not doing shit with anyone... anytime soon. She said she was ready, but she was lyin’. I know she was fuckin’ lyin’. Just putting me on a guilt trip. Just sayin’ that shit to make me feel bad. She’s a fuckin’ tease.”

"You don't know that."

"Fairly fucking sure." I plop a joint between my lips, lighting it up. "She's fair game, Thornton. Have at it. Good luck gettin’ your dick wet in this century."

"You're unreal, Cameron," he scoffs and laughs. "But, yeah… Shit. I think I'm gonna take you up on that offer."

"Fuck you. You won't."

"Why do you care? You said ‘she fair fuckin’ game’, asshole."

I chuckle with annoyance, shaking my head in disbelief. "Where's the loyalty. Huh? Have my sloppy seconds, Top. It suites you.”

"Not really sloppy if you didn't fuck."

"I fucking tried."

"I've known you too long for you to bullshit me, man." He bullies before draining the rest of his White Claw. "You didn't. I can tell you what you did do… Hang out with her, fuck Jillian on the side cause you weren’t getting any pussy yet. Yet!” He puts an emphasis on that point, twisting the knife in my heart. “And you got caught.”

“Nah.”

”Yeah,” he laughs. “I’d bet my life on it.”

“You’re just yappin’, bitch. Shut the fuck up.”

“She's the prettiest girl here, hands-down; funny, sweet, smart, loyal. You didn't even give her a chance."

I swallow thickly, taking in every word, all of which couldn’t be more true. I did exactly what he said… I messed up. I lost her. I’m a goddamn mess. I crack open a beer, draining it fast enough to drown a thought or two, quickly grabbing another, trying my best to forget. It’s so much deeper than just messing up. Y/n didn't feel safe around me... I made her feel unsure. She made me feel safe. Me… ‘You’re always looking for the next best thing’. She is the best thing… She made me feel something for once. She cares about me. Well, cared… "I mean I could still try and apologize or whatever," I mumble.

"She's too smart, Rafe. She's done with you."

"Fuck you, Top."

"Nah, fuck you."

"You're a dumbass, Rafey. Like painfully dumb,” Kelce pipes in for the first time.

"Yeah? N’what should I have done? Huh?" I spit.

"Literally, the opposite of that,” he laughs, making Topper do the same. “I agree with everything Top said, bud. You ruined a good thing. N’for who?” He adds in a condescending tone, referencing the girls I usually bag—a direct shot at Jillian Tate.

"So it's done then. No hope? Is that what you're telling me?" I scoff, my eyes cutting between the two of them.

"That is exactly what we’re tellin’ you,” Topper adds.

"Screw you, Thornton... That's just because you want her."

"Obviously."

I let out a loud, frustrated growl, popping open the beer bottle with my ringed finger. "You're a dick."

"I'm just speaking as your friend. I'm being honest. And, honestly, I'm going after her the first chance I get. Just lettin’ you know. So we are both clear." He taunts through a thick cloud of smoke. “And you better stop drinkin’, Cameron. Whiskey dick’s gonna getcha. I'm sure you're gonna fuck the first thing you see with a pulse, Rafey. You're a fuckin’ dog. We all know it,” he stammers, his voice barely audible as his words slur together. “Guessin’ you got Big Titty Tate on speed dial.”

"Fuck you, Top.” I steal an extra beer off Kelce’s hands for myself. “You better stop drinkin’. Turns you into a fuckin’ asshole with an actual spine. Keep runnin’ your mouth. I'll gladly put you in your place,” I laugh, only half-kidding, glaring at him, challenging him to keep going. He puts his hands up as a truce— his heavy-lidded eyes letting me know he’s seconds away from a blackout.

Fuck this fucking night.

It’s done… She’s done with me. I lived up to every one of her assumptions. I was the man Kiara warned her about, I'm sure. I’m fucked. I look up from my beer, watching as a beautiful blonde struts across the party— legs for days, fake tits, a deep spray tan that I'm forever bleaching out of sheets after rough night. Her bleach blonde curls bounce with each steps she takes, walking up to my room no less. Jillian Tate…

I got nothin’ to lose anymore. Got no self-respect anyways. The fuck does it matter?

I don't deserve y/n, and I never have. I fuckin’ hate myself.

Reader’s POV:

You take the quizzes in your hands, passing the remainder to Rafe, keeping your eyes glued on the front of the lecture hall.

"Thanks, sweetheart," he whispers, turning your stomach. You feel his leg graze against yours as he slides a little closer. Seriously… A set of two eyes catch yours, not looking at you, their attention given to Rafe.

"Hi, Rafey,” Jillian mouths the words from a few desks ahead. He lowers his gaze to his test, scribbling his name on the side of his scan-tron messily.

BUZZ.

Rafe slips up, leaving his phone face up. You sneak a glance at the message on the screen.

Notification: Jilly Tate - You ignoring me?

Rafe opens his messages, glancing at the screen before fumbling to lock it; just another glimpse of her, her blonde curls laying on his plaid pillow, Rafe’s large hand wrapped around her slight throat. His signature gold ring hugs his pointer finger—that same stupid, pink entrance bracelet looped around his wrist from the dive bar the night before. He catches your focus, putting the pieces together that you saw the exchange, further piling on his guilty conscience. "Y/n?" You hear Rafe’s gravelly voice in your ear. "I can explain."

Seriously… More tears. Fuck. You snatch your stuff, forgoing the test all together, quickly moving to your feet, pressing toward the door, pushing out fast, before weaving through the hallway gridlock.

"Y/n? Hey... Wait." You hear Rafe calling from behind you, the pounding of his steps, nears. "Hey, bab-"

"Stop, Rafe," you weep.

"C'mon. It's just I-"

"Honestly, Rafe. Just stop!"

"Let me explain."

"Explain what? We broke things off and an hour later you were with Jillian."

"Yeah. But we didn't do anything."

"'I saw the picture, Rafe? Are you that dumb?"

”That’s an old picture-”

“Stop lying… I saw your bracelet. Show me some fuckin’ respect and save your excuses for someone else.”

“I was angry. She was just there. I'm sorry. I-”

"Just there… Just there? Why her Rafe? Why Jillian? You ruined everything. You're a fucking trainwreck, Rafe.”

"We weren't together, Y/n," he adds in frustration. “You left me. Remember?”

"Yeah... And, you didn’t even try to get me back. You didn't even come after me. You just went for the next best thing.” You emphasize your words, making his features sharpen.

"That's not fair."

"For who?”

"I was going to try… I was gonna try to make things right today. I just needed you to calm down. Jesus. You’re not even givin’ me a chance"

"Was that your plan that night, Rafe? To let me storm off and calm down so you didn't have to deal with me and my drama, fuck Jillian, and make up with me on Monday, and act like nothing happened. Just act like you didn't bang the girl in the same bed we were kissing in. Like you didn't just fuck the girl that you said I didn't need to worry about.“

"You’re bein’ dramatic"

"Bye,” you scoff annoyedly. “Just, Bye Rafe." You spit, pressing through him, checking his shoulder as you walk past, heading back toward the lecture hall to finish your test. How could I be so stupid?

His hand wraps around you arm a little tighter, pulling you back. “Just stop. Please,” he begs. “I wanna fight for you. Please. I like you, y/n. I like you a lot. More even-”

“More? What the hell, Rafe? How can you sit here and tell me that when you clearly don't? You didn't call or text me to see if I made it home that night. That's the bare minimum, Rafe."

"You're right."

"Jillian... still?" Your voice comes out smaller than before, breaking with emotion as he moves closer, backing you into the wall that he had you on on the first day on class. Now everything’s different… Those same thoughts you had about how sweet he was tarnished completely.

"She means nothing to me, y/n," he assures, soft and slow.

"Rafe… You and I, that meant everything to me. I really liked you. I didn't want anyone else.”

"Me too. I promise. I swear. Alright?”

"Then how could you ruin this over someone who means nothing to you? How?" You ask as you look up at him, watching his eyes shift a lighter shade of blue, tears glistenen and gather on his lashes. He lifts up the sleeve of his sweatshirt, rubbing them away.

"I don't know, y/n. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Even after everything, your heart breaks seeing him this way. His cheeks flush with embarrassment for his actions and his blatant vulnerability. He looks around, letting out a shaky breath, checking to see who’s watching, but the coast is clear. He hangs his head, letting a few stray tears fall to the floor. “Let's just finish the test. We can talk later. Okay?” Rafe looks up at you, his beautiful eyes glinting with a sliver of hope.

“Thank you.”

You reach for the door handle, giving it a twist.

BUZZ.

You step back, pulling your phone out of the book bag instead. Rafe glances at your phone, catching the name of the sender as well—watching the final nail lodge in his coffin.

Messages; Maybe: Jillian Tate; iMessage

The phone trembles in your hand as you open the message. A video? You click onto the little screen watching the scene play out right in front of you. Rafe wraps his large hand around Jilly’s throat, thrusting into her again and again. Just a short video from just above her tits, letting you watch the pleasure on her face as her eyes roll back. The clapping of his skin against her fills his room. Three little dots form below the video, followed by a new message from her.

Jillian: I’m coming to you as a women.

You look up from your phone, the end of the two of you crystal fucking clear.

“Y/n, I’m sorry.”

𝐹𝓁𝒶𝓈𝒽𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝑒𝓃𝒹𝑒𝒹…

Damn, he's infuriating... But, fuck, is he's handsome. Rafe holds the football in his hands, falling back, his big biceps flex, sending the ball spiraling to Top. Your eyes fall down his perfect body: a loose cropped frat tee showing off his toned abs and deep v-lines. His thick thighs hugged with short Champion shorts. He takes off his hat, running his fingers through his carmel-coloured locks before tugging it on again. His sun-kissed skin glistens under the high-noon rays, highlighting his muscles perfectly.

He smiles at you sweetly, making you turn toward Kie with unease. Rafe grabs the bottom of his shirt, lifting it to wipe off the sweat on his face as he walks closer, his shorts hang dangerously low making you hurt with need. His smile morphs into a smug smirk. Your body tenses up as you just wait for his mocking comments to stab you right through the heart.

"Still staring. Huh?" He taunts, causing Kelce and Topper to laugh in agreement, feeding his ever-growing ego. He catches the football from Top, twirling it between his large fingers as he looks up at you from the sand below. "Kie's in her swimsuit, honey. M'sure you got some tits and ass under there to show the boys. When are you gonna stop dressing like a teenage boy?" His voice oozes with condescension, just quiet enough that you're unsure if Kelce and Topper heard or not. You look at the two, none the wiser; your decision is obviously the wrong move, giving Rafe more ammo. "Scared they heard? Aww... M'Sorry, sweetheart. Did I strike a nerve? C'mon, pretty. It's my last day. Leave Daddy with something to keep in the spank bank. Huh?" He rasps.

"Jesus Christ, Rafe. Can you stop being such a dick?" Kiara snaps, looking down at him in repulsion.

"I can," he breathes as his eyes move from her to you. "But, why would I do that? Hmm?" You turn your eyes away, focusing on the water ahead, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of your attention he so desperately craves. "Here," he smiles cruelly as he balls up his shirt, lofting it to the lifeguard tower, landing damp on your chest, cotton mixing with hot sweat. "I'll give you somethin' to put around your pillow when you're humpin' it later." Kelce and Topper laugh louder, catching that part of his dig. Rafe shuts his eyes, letting out his own name in a raspy whine. "Oh, Rafe. Fuck. Just like that, baby."

"Pass it here, Daddy," Kelce piles on, making your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"You're such a fucking ass, Rafe," you mumble through gritted teeth.

"What's that now?" He gasps dramatically, turning on his heels fast, looking at you wide-eyed. "You want me to fuck your ass, princess?" His sleazy frat boy laugh fills your ears. "Didn't see that comin'. Did you, Kelce?”

"Nah," Kelce chuckles as he catches the football.

"Nasty little thing, aren't you?" His tongue pokes through his perfect teeth, pleased with himself as you flutter your lashes, trying your best not to cry with frustration. "Aww, don't cry, angel. M'sorry. Boys will be boys."

⭐tags⭐ <- tag list on my pinned post (if your name is crossed out, your tag isn’t working): @floredaqueen @rafesthroatbaby @loserboysandlithium @nemesyaaa @theeternaloptimistt @ditzyzombiesblog @cl4uus @aariahnaa @hyperfixationgirl @akobx @daryldixon83 @rafesgiirl @sleepiibunniiii @gri959 @oxpogues4lifexo @babygorewhore @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @savayvaybIr-blog @starkeysprincess @unrealmirrorball @romaescapes @cades-outsider @namelesslosers @anamiad00msday @buckybarnessweetheart

[marshmellowtea]

12-15 for the dr ask game?

12. Favourite Danganronpa 3 character?

as in the anime? i uhhh.....never finished it, lmao, and the parts i did watch i don't remember very well. i'm assuming this question is referring to characters specific to the anime so i'm gonna abstain from this one for now, i'll get back to you if i ever finish it XD ......actually, wait, i do remember liking chisa a lot. that'll be my answer for now, once again, i'll let you know if that changes lmao

13. What’s your opinion on the Danganronpa 3 anime?

well like i said i never finished it HGLKDSJF but i do remember thinking that it's not as bad as i thought it would be going into it? i do also remember thinking it was rushed, however, and i still think they could've spent far more time fleshing out plotlines referenced in sdr2 (you know, the things fans of the game would actually care about? it was weird how little they chose to expand on those given that that was kind of the point of the anime in the first place ghlkdjf). i do eventually wanna go back and finish it though, despite my criticisms here i do think there were some interesting ideas there, esp with the season focused on the future foundation, which i never even got to lmao. also, the title sequences BANG, and that alone makes me glad this thing exists hgkldjf

14. What do you think about Danganonpa 1 anime?

it's a good intro to the series, but, like.....not to be a pretentious fan here, if you really wanna appreciate the story as a whole, you really gotta play (or watch someone else play, let's plays are loved and appreciated in this household) the game, dude! you're missing out on so much if you ONLY watch the anime, which why i personally choose to see it as introductory/optional material rather than a proper part of the series.

15. Your absolute OTP?

tbh, as multishipper, i don't really believe in a one true pairing in a traditional sense, since there's a lot of ships in this series i really enjoy and a lot of them are polyships. that being said, however, i am coming out as a komahina enthusiast and i will never not be annoyed about their fandom mischaracterizations lmfaoooo (also idk if they do but if ot3s count here, make it komahinanami. they are literally the backbone of sdr2 imho and i Care Them)

[thejustmaiden]

So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

[hexfloog]

Tonight we screm about... LIFELINES

Earlier today, I sent an... admittedly very poorly-phrased question about Gadgetless Conan to a DCMK server - you know, like someone who doesn't proofread.

(I know it was bad because nobody answered me... rightfully so, lmao)

There was a reason for it though!! What I was thinking about was E2, Company President's Daughter Kidnapping Case/The Kidnapped Debutante, and E129, The Girl from the Black Organization.

Rambling below the cut!!

In episode two, it's made horribly clear to us just how harrowing Shinichi's situation has become, even at surface-level. The point is obviously to contrast against the Shinichi we're shown in episode one, who is physically adept, well-liked by authority, and generally comfortable in life. In the span of a single episode, he becomes alienated by symbols of his former self-- his house, which he cannot enter; his clothes, which he cannot fit; his friends, who he cannot confide in; and his own name, which he cannot utter-- and we begin watching him struggle to acclimate to the life of someone who is infantilized at every turn (until he isn't, cough), the degree of which is illustrated most plainly in this first case solved as "Conan."

You only get one shot to establish the floor of a setup like this, and I think they did a pretty good job of it. I'm biased in favor of the Funimation dub, of course:

"You've gotta be kidding me!! I can't even kick a soccer ball anymore!

Aaaaaugh, the panic in his voice.

Anyway, I bring this up in conjunction with The Girl from the Black Organization because, before Shinichi realizes he's being played, Ai taunts him with some dialogue which I found-- among pretty much everything else she says in these two minutes-- pretty chilling:

And she's right - Shinichi flounders so much in episode two because... he really is helpless! He's completely gadgetless for the duration of the case, completely stolen from his former physical prowess (and the familiarity that comes with it), and just to add insult to injury he doesn't even know how to properly masquerade as a child yet, which is arguably the only trick he has when naked (so to speak). As Haibara says... without Agasa, Shinichi has no liberation from the physical weakness of his child body.

So... that got me thinking... Shinichi has a support system that is already loosely established even by this point, composed of people who know his secret, lifelines which bring him back to himself when it seems like there is no escape from his false identity. What are they?

Agasa is, as established above, Shinichi's lifeline to his physical strength and, arguably, his authority. His gadgets allow the young detective to arm himself-- both in the conventional sense, and with a reliable wealth of trickery to skirt the dismissiveness often invited by his child appearance... whether that means simple antics or straight-up mimicking the voices of dead people to scare culprits into confessing WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS--

His parents are, obviously, his connection to family. They are also his general safety net, in the event he chooses to give up... or is forced to.

Heiji is Shinichi's lifeline to companionship. As I mentioned earlier, once he becomes Conan, Shinichi is put in a place where he can no longer confide in his friends (namely, Ran). Heiji, after learning his secret-- and in his ostensibly wholesome habit of seeing right through the veil of Conan every single time-- offers Shinichi a chance to just... be himself without the smoke and mirrors. When the circumstances of his life force him to wear the skin of someone else at every waking moment, I feel Shinichi could very well forget what genuine camaraderie feels like. Also he's the first one to offer Shinichi any semblance of hope for the end of his predicament (albeit unknowingly), how could he not have a place here omg

Haibara is something of an enigma. Admittedly, I have not seen enough of her to be able to say anything (with confidence) on her apparent role in Shinichi's system, but every time she speaks I swear this girl has something PATENTLY 10/10 to contribute asddgfhj. For me, and for all I've seen so far, she represents his value system (and by extension, retribution?) and is the closest I've seen this show come to gray morality. In this very episode Agasa has to hold Shinichi back when their conversation quite clearly turns to challenging who he thinks deserves to be called a victim and I-- mmmmMMMM

More on that in another post about this ep because there's no WAY I'm going to be able to cover everything I wanna say about it in this one aaaaa. Also I do not know at this point whether Vermouth would also fit into this role, I haven't gotten there yet

(Now for this last one... I realize Movie Canon is technically its own thing, but tbh I want the movie and show canon(s) to overlap so much in my mind that I don't even care sorry not sorry--)

...Kaito Kid.* Honestly this boy is such a wildcard, his relationship with Shinichi is so unique and multifaceted that he most definitely plays more than one part in this support system I've interpreted for him in my head. At the very least, being The Foil, it stands to reason he would play a very similar role to Agasa, but rather than bringing him back to the familiarity of his physical body, he keeps him on his toes by pushing his ambition and testing his deductive prowess, which... is especially interesting to me, given that Shinichi never loses that part of him post-transformation. Passion, then, is perhaps his role (or at least one of them): to remind Shinichi of his purpose, of what gives him life... away from the grim backdrop of his circumstance, and removed from the shadow of the Organization... because even in the body of little Conan, that fire could not be stolen from him. Kaito may or may not be doing this consciously (for all intents and purposes, most likely not) but it's still an intriguing thought to entertain, I think...

(*Yusaku could technically overlap with this also, but imo both Shinichi's parents are far too aware of the threat of the Black Organization, I think-- as they should be, being his parents and all.)

(*Heiji could also be the one who stokes this fire, but there's a markedly distinct difference between sharing a passion, and weaponizing it)

Wow uhhHHH idk how to cap off this post uhmm... that's all I've got for now, next time I screm about... YOU CAN'T SAVE EVERYONE (still this ep, bc 129 is SUCH a treasure trove of ideas)

if you've gotten this far tysm for reading much love <333

[suckishima]

okay for the character asks, gotta ask about tsukishima!!

Hahaaa thank you! I was gonna be disappointed tbh if no one asked about Tsukki considering my over-analysis of him knows no bounds, you all know me so well 😆

First impression: tbh i was pretty neutral. the first time we see him and he's all rude i was just like "okay he's the mean one." and then he says the bit about not liking over enthusiasm that comes from no basis and i was like "hm wonder if that'll get explained," but tbh i didn't give it or him much thought. he was just there lol

Impression now: god idk if i can even sum it up lol. i've never related to a character like i relate to tsukishima and his character growth is one of the most cathartic things i've ever watched/read and it really hit home for me on a personal level. he's scared and insecure, which manifests as apathy, but despite that a large part of him still urges to strive for more—and that scares him too. he's scared to want anything at all, and yet he learns to try anyway. he's quick witted, always thinking, skeptical, oftentimes too harsh on himself and others, but still tries to do everything with careful thought and intention to produce the best results. i really love the way he's written, feels very human

Favorite moment: the end of the shiratorizawa match! yes yes i can talk about The Block for days and his scream put tears in my eyes, but what really hit home for me is how immediately after his finger gets dislocated, he's not even off the court yet and he's already thinking about what he'll do when he gets back out. he never stops thinking, his hand is in pain, he's pissed about it, and even confused at himself for wanting to keep playing. but want he does! the inner conflict of not fully understanding why he's doing it but doing it anyway and enjoying himself is so so beautiful, i honestly will cry if i think about it too long lol.

Idea for a story: dear lord i have so many. but! pretty sure next fic i'm gonna start working on is gonna be focused on his time at the miyagi prefecture first years camp! really wanna explore more about his drive and motivations during that time and how he functions in a non-Karasuno team environment

Unpopular opinion: (most of my unpopular opinions are probably gonna be about fanon stuff lol, i like canon too much) but uhh, i don't like the "salt-shaker" moniker. mostly it's just a pet peeve, but i feel like too often people who use the phrase boil his personality down to nothing more than "snark" and like yes, he does have that, and he is mean but i sort of don't like the way the idea of that just being "salty" is kind downplaying 1 the actuality of how rude tsukki can be, and 2 how that rudeness is coming from a lot of deep-seated insecurities. it's just more nuanced than that, ya know. (not saying everyone who calls him that thinks that, it's just the vibe i get in certain contexts)

Favorite relationship: this was actually really hard for me to choose between akiteru and yamaguchi, but ultimately i think it's yamaguchi. the way they both grow together throughout the series is really well done. i've surely said this before, but they're integral to each other's growth, without the other neither of them would end up how they do and the way the series shows that and the way it culminates is seriously so fucking good. watching the way they both fall (back) in love with volleyball by pushing each other almost solely through their actions is one of my favorite things in the entire series, it's so satisfying

Favorite headcanon: he wears his headphones/listens to music not to block out other people's noise but to block out his own! he's more comfortable when he isn't aware of how loud his existence is.