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#WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT PHASE OF MY LIFE
sunnynoki · 1 year
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MFW A CRINGE OLD POST OF MINE GETS LIKED AAAAA
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anaalnathrakhs · 6 months
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it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.
mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.
#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD.#EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY#OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH#i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion''#they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them#so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child#they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table#just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase#i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either?#i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them.#i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to.#but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset#quiet at home#and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places#and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway?#keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine?#try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened?#i dont know how to live like a normal person#literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X.#go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book.#because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped.#everything hurts holy shit#broadcasting my misery#vent#ed tw
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secretoreimo · 6 months
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There is no opening so special as the Oreimo season 1 opening it goes so hard and never gets old!!!!
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twowivestwoknives · 1 year
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thats the thing about me; ive always been dichotomous.
mcr/one direction top fave bands of highschool
skins/degrassi fave tv shows
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ricciardosheart · 1 year
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I dont want to ruin your career - CL16
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summary - (y/n) is pregnant and does not want to tell Charles Leclerc she is pregnant and starts to stay away from Charles and tries to break up with him because she knows he would not be able to help with the child and she does not want him to be guilty of that
pairing - charles leclerc X f reader
warnings - angsty, and fluff ending and mentions of pregnancy
authors note - I cried like balled my eyes out when I wrote this I was in the ovulation phase, women you can understand,please read at your own discretion, not proofread, this is part one
Amid the glitz and glamour of Monaco, (Y/N) stood in the dimly lit living room, her heart racing as she gazed at the ultrasound image in her hand. The soft glow of the city outside cast a bittersweet hue on her tear-streaked face. She knew that this moment would forever change her life and the life of the man she loved.
Charles Leclerc, the charismatic F1 driver, had captured her heart with his charm and passion. But now, as she held the proof of their love in her hands, a sense of apprehension gripped her. She knew the sacrifices he made for his racing career, the countless hours he spent away from home, the demands that would only intensify with time.
Days turned into weeks, and the truth grew heavier on her shoulders. Unable to shake the anxiety that gnawed at her, (Y/N) withdrew from Charles, avoiding his calls and creating distance between them. She believed she was sparing him from the burden of her secret, from the guilt that would inevitably come from being torn between his dreams and the reality of fatherhood.
Yet, on that fateful night, as the Austin Grand Prix roared through the television screen, (Y/N) knew she could no longer hide. She stood in the center of their shared apartment, her suitcase packed, her heart aching.
The door clicked open, and Charles walked in, exhaustion etched across his face. "Hey," he greeted, his smile fading as he noticed the suitcase. "What's going on?"
(Y/N)'s voice trembled as she looked into his eyes, unable to meet his gaze for long. "Charles, we need to talk."
He stepped closer, concern furrowing his brows. "What's wrong, (Y/N)? You've been distant lately. Is something bothering you?"
Tears welled up in her eyes as she finally confessed, "I'm pregnant, Charles."
Silence hung in the air, the weight of her words echoing between them. Charles stared at her, his expression a mixture of surprise and confusion. "Pregnant? Are you… Are we going to have a child?"
She nodded, her heart pounding. "Yes. But I can't let you be burdened by this. Your career, your dreams… I don't want you to feel guilty for not being there. I'm moving out."
Charles' face contorted, a blend of shock, disbelief, and a hint of pain. "Moving out? (Y/N), no. We're in this together. I want to be there for you, for our child."
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she shook her head, her voice a broken whisper. "Charles, I love you too much to see you give up your dreams, to see you resent me and our child. I can't let that happen."
He took a step closer, his hand reaching out to touch her arm gently. "You don't have to make this decision alone. We're a team, (Y/N). Let's figure this out together."
(Y/N) pulled away, her resolve trembling. "No, Charles. It's not fair to you. I can't let you sacrifice your dreams for us. I won't."
His voice grew softer, filled with desperation. "And what about your dreams, (Y/N)? What about the life we've planned together?"
She turned away, unable to meet his eyes. "I'll find a way. I'll go back home to Monaco. I'll raise our child with my family's support. But you need to focus on your career."
Charles stepped forward, his voice tinged with frustration. "You're making this decision for both of us without even giving me a say. (Y/N), I want to be a father. I want to be a part of our child's life, and I want to be with you."
Tears fell freely as (Y/N) met his gaze, her heart aching at his vulnerability. "I know you say that now, but as time goes on, the pressure will only increase. I don't want you to regret staying with me."
His expression softened, his voice gentle. "I won't regret it, (Y/N). I would regret not being there for you, for us."
Weeks turned into a painful blur, (Y/N) moving out of their apartment, the distance between them growing as she avoided places she knew Charles would be. She built walls around her heart, believing it was the only way to protect both of them from the challenges ahead.
But as days turned into nights, loneliness crept in, and she found herself yearning for the familiar warmth of his embrace. Then, one evening, a knock echoed through her quiet house in Monaco.
(Y/N) opened the door to find Charles standing there, his eyes searching hers. "We need to talk," he said, his voice firm.
She hesitated, but finally stepped aside to let him in. They settled in the living room, facing each other with a mixture of tension and longing.
"Tell me the truth, (Y/N)," Charles demanded. "Why did you hide from me? Why did you try to push me away?"
Tears welled up in her eyes as she met his gaze, her voice trembling. "I was trying to protect you, Charles. I didn't want you to feel trapped by responsibilities you weren't ready for. I didn't want you to be burdened by guilt."
His expression softened, his eyes filled with empathy. "You were willing to give up everything for me?"
She nodded, her voice barely audible. "I love you. I didn't want you to resent me or our child. I wanted you to have the life you've always dreamed of."
Charles reached out, his hand cupping her cheek, his touch gentle. "And what about the life we've dreamed of together? (Y/N), I should have been there for you. I should have supported you."
Tears streamed down her face as the weight of her decisions crashed down on her. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought I was protecting you."
He pulled her into a heartfelt embrace, holding her close. "You don't have to do it alone. I want to be here for you, for our child. I want to be a father, and I want to be with you, no matter the challenges."
(Y/N) clung to him, her heart finally giving in to the love and the support she had denied herself. As their tears mingled, the walls that had separated them crumbled, and a sense of hope blossomed in their hearts.
In that moment, they realized that love was about facing challenges together, about being vulnerable and open to each other's struggles. Charles had come to understand (Y/N)'s motivations, and he felt a deep sense of regret for not being there for her during her time of need.
Their journey was far from easy, but they faced it as a united front, supporting each other through the highs and lows. Their love, once tested by distance and fear, now stood stronger than ever, ready to weather any storm that came their way.
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pisceslovrr · 4 months
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THE EXIT (spencer reid x fem!reader)
warnings: angst, spencer and reader breaking up, no use of y/n, spencer's new gf, no happy ending
an: this is heavily based off the song the exit by conan gray, also this is my first time posting anything like this. the ending was a bit rushed, i imagined season 3-4 reid for this one
February-
you and spencer were out of the honeymoon phase of your relationship, as you were noticing all the little things he does to keep his life in order. you were enjoying his company a lot, you liked having someone around you all the time.
one night he came home with flowers and you were excited to see him after he came back from a long case. you ran up to him and wrapped your arms around him. he didnt hug you back. "i missed you so much, spence!" you say as you pulled away and looked up at him. you noticed he was avoiding your eyes. "spencer whats wrong?" you questioned as you took his chin in your hand.
he said your name in a cold tone. you furrow your brows and you look up at him. he finally looks at you but his eyes are filled with sadness. "whats wrong, are you ok?" you say as you continue looking at him. he gives you the flowers. "can we sit down?" he says looking over at the couch.
you sit down first and he sits on the other end. it wasn't normal for him to not sit right next to you. he doesn't look at you either. "im sorry but.. " he starts and then pauses. you look at him with a worried on your face. he said your name and he continues "i need to end things, or i need to end us" he finally says.
tears well up in your eyes as you look around at the boxes that were from your apartment. "w-what?" you ask. "we need to break up" he says as he also looked at your boxes that were neatly stacked in the corner of the room. you dont say anything, you dont look at him, you just stare blankly at the boxes.
"please say something" he says with tears in his eyes. you dont know what to say, you dont even know what to think. "why?" you finally let out and it feels like you took a little weight off your chest. he looks at you "i like someone else, shes from my hometown and we just click so much" he says as he scoots closer to you.
you open your mouth to talk but words dont come out. he takes your hand, but you immediately pull your hands away and you get up from your spot on the couch. you look away from him "if shes better then go have her" you say as you grab your purse and your keys and you leave him alone in his apartment.
you go back to your apartment and you finally let out all your anger and your tears as you practically slam your things on the counter. you let out a guttural yell as you fall to the floor of your kitchen and you hold your head in your hands. you sit there and cry for a while until you hear your phone rhythmically buzzing on the counter.
you stand up to grab it and you feel dizzy at first but you grab it. you look at the contact. it shows "spencer♡". you look at the heart and you cry harder. "how could something so good end in about an hour" you thought as you watched his name disappear. almost instantly his name pops up again and you answer.
"hello?" he said from the other line. "hello." you respond coldly, not wanting him to know that you have been crying since you entered your home. he says your name "im sorry" he apologized. "are you really though? how could you be sorry for me if you have already found someone to replace what we had" you said as more tears welled up in your eyes. he tries to speak but you cut him off "i thought that we were special, you know? but i guess we werent special enough". you dont let him speak, you just hang up the phone.
you let the tears run down your cheeks as you think about the life changing night you experienced. you try to think about if you could have done anything to change it, but in reality you know that its probably for the best.
November-
you are running late to work but you need to get your daily coffee before you start the day. you walk into the usual coffee shop you go to every morning. you order what you usually order. you do everything as you usually do, but something seems off. you hear the doorbell ring as it would when somebody walks in. you turn around to see who it was.
the color drains from your face as you see spencer and this girl that has her arm linked with his. you immediately look away and try to hide your face. spencer says your name in a questioning tone. you dont turn around for a second but when you finally do he smiles at you. "spencer?" she says looking at him and smiling painfully.
hes opening his mouth, but you cant hear the sound thats coming out. you just stand there and nod. "are you ok? you seem off" you hear him say. "yeah im fine why wouldnt i be?" you ask as if you are not dying inside at this very moment. "you look pale" he says looking at your cheeks. "im just getting over the cold" you say smiling.
you think about how his life looks perfectly fine, he has his new girlfriend on his shoulder, and he seems like hes doing amazing. meanwhile your wounds are still black and bruised. "aw thats too bad, how have you been?" he asks while still smiling and he kisses his new girlfriend on the top of her head. "i have been great! what about you?" you say still smiling painfully. "well i have been doing good!" he says as you notice that their hands are interlocked. "thats good-" you get cut-off by the barista calling your name because your drink was ready.
you grab your drink and you try to hurry out. "well i hope you have a good rest of your day" he waves as youre walking out of the door. you dont pay attention to him, but you walk back to your apartment and suddenly you are taken back 9 months when he broke up with you. you are on your kitchen floor crying as you think about how good they looked together, and how he was happy. "i shouldnt be crying about a happy couple enjoying their day" you think.
you dont see spencer at all after that. you avoid that coffee shop like its the plague. you avoid all the places that you and him used to hang out at. you never drive down his street even though its a quicker way to get to work. you never want to see him or her ever again.
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yeondollie · 7 months
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ʙᴀᴍ ʏᴀɴɢ ɢᴀɴɢ ౨ৎ ♡ .ᐟ
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'i closed the chapter on the days we spent together.'
. . warnings ; ANGST .ᐟ, breaking up, argument, fem reader, taehyun is kinda mean, crying, heartbreak, reader is needy, taehyun gets annoyed of reader, just over all sad ecfhuehfusih !!
a/n ; i have been listening in bam yang gang on repeat its so so so good but so sad :(. the beat is so adorable and so is bibi i love her sm sm but the song is so sad and as soon as i heard it i thought about making a story with it . this is just a drabble so i dont have a word count sorry :< anyways, enjoy !! ₊˚⊹ ᰔ
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"why do you want so much out of me? can i have some peace and quiet to myself? god.." here we were again. arguing with taehyun was getting more and more common, though you hated it. taehyun knew you were a sensitive person and didn't like conflict but you were just pissing him off lately.
you didn't know what to say really. though you were only trying to check up on him after work, he wasn't having it. "it's like you're attached to my hip, truly." you suck in the tears in your eyes as he says this. you didn't wanna fight, you just wanted to please him in any way you could.
"yes i-i.. i'll give you time. i’m sorry." you say, tearing still welling in your eyes. this, for some reason, set taehyun off completely. why couldn’t you stand up for yourself? it was pathetic in his eyes. “see! thats why im upset. you’re like a doormat- you get walked all over, it’s pathetic.” he scoffs, letting out a small laugh even.
holding the tears back, about to flow, you mutter out some words. “you’re r-right, i’m s-sorry.” you sniffle a bit, looking up at the ceiling to avoid the tears falling out of your eyes. you’ve never felt more pathetic in your life, it was such a horrible feeling. taehyun didn’t seem phased at all, walking up and getting in your face.
“so thats it? sorry? you think thats gonna fix everything?” he says, his face only inches from yours. it was weird, usually when he was this close he would be kissing you or looking at you longingly but no. not this time, not anymore. the only time he looked at you was with lust or anger behind his eyes.
it felt like the two of you would only have sex or only argue, it was tiring- so tiring. he used to hold your cold hand in his own warm hand. he used to kiss your forehead and play with your hair, what happened? the tears flickered down your cheek as you answered him. “t-tyun i.. i don’t know what else to d-do.” now quickly wiping your own tears.
when he realizes you’re crying, he doesn’t bat an eye. its like all his love for you was drained from his heart- you hated it so much. “you know what _____? we’re done. i cant fucking do this with you anymore. you’re just so.. so needy and dumb!” he raises his voice, now watching you flinch in front of him.
you didn’t even have the energy to stop him, watching him with blurry eyes. watching how much he changed over the span of you two dating was shocking and saddening to you. oh how you longed for the sweet taehyun you once had.
before he could exit your house, forever saying bye to him you did one last thing. “taehyun..?” you whisper, not even having the energy to talk loudly. “what?” he whips back at you. you grab his school name tag he gave you, when he first confessed his feelings for you when the two of you were still in high school.
grabbing his name tag, along with your own- you walked up to him gently. you placed your name tag in his hand, looking into his angry eyes. “so you can remember me, you promised me you’d never forget me right?”
his eyes flickered with sympathy one final last time.
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Little things I loved in Haunted Mansion (2023)
I just saw Haunted Mansion for a second time, and yall,it's good. The way they were able to blend the horror with the goofy and make it feel like the ride. amazing.
(Spoilers under the cut) here's all the little things I loved about the movie
1- this ones probably not anything but a coincidence but when Ben and Alyssa first meet the streamers are placed between them. I grew up Mormon (its complicated now) and whenever we drew the veil between life and death it was always a bunch of squiggly lines, like the streamers. Idk if that's like a thing in other religions too but I just thought it was interesting.
2- Gabby straight up saying "Nah. We're out." The second she noticed the spooky shit. Its an accurate and appropriate response that's not really used in this genre.
3- on that note I love the idea that they were basically forced to come back/stay. It advances the narrative and keeps them at the setting but it's not a bottle episode. Or movie.
4- Forced 👏 proximity 👏found👏family. They're all in the same room like 90% of the time no matter where they're at. And when they split the party for too long shit goes down.
5- Ben talking about his wife and his grief. The whole scene with him telling his friends about her and how she died, and Bruce almost immediately making a probably not appropriate joke that just made everyone laugh. It felt so real, like a real conversation. And the ghost winks. I have definently had those in my life but never had a name for it
6- Also the way they talk about grief?! Howthey show different characters dealing with it. How no matter who it is its like "you're hurting.it's ok. Let's get through it together" amazing.
7- The entire cast brought their A game in this movie. They knew what kind of movie this was and totally went with it
8- They ride references were amazing. The stretching room. the doom buggy chair. The forever hallway. Constance Hatchaway. Gracey. THE HAT BOX GHOST. Crump being the last name of one of the imagineers and his manor looking like the ride in wdw.
9- The music was so good! The jazz influence. SUPERSTITION. Grim Grinning Ghosts being prominent but not overwhelming. I wish the ending song was longer though.
10- the way they showed the passage of time with the moon phases and different outifts
11- Gabby and Ben's relationship remaining undefined. Imo this was not the time for them to get together, at least not immediately, what with (gestures broadly to everything) going on. The flowers he gives her at the end could be a romantic gesture or one of friendship and gratitude. I like that whatever ishappening between them is taking its time, because its something they both need.
I know there's something I'm forgetting but I cant think of it now so if I remember it I'll add it later. I hope more people go to see it I would love to see a sequel. Maybe they explore phantom manor or mystic manor (actually I dont remember if that one actually has any ties to the other mansions/manors)
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ipostwhatiwant1202 · 5 months
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Reaction Text pt 2: You break up for the day to appreciate The Tortured Poets Department
note: all the swifties, how are we feeling? the album is a whole ass BOP and i feel emotionally attacked. my favs are who's afraid of little old me, loml, down bad, the manuscript, and the title track
Leo:
Leo: hi hun! is it safe to come over to your apartment? 💙
You: i'm so mad at you
Leo: for what!?
You: I DONT KNOW 😓
Leo: okay that's it, you're grounded from taylor until further notice. 🤦‍♂️
You: IM SORRY HAVE YOU LISTENED TO IT
You: LISTEN TO LOML AND THEN TELL ME I CANT BE MAD AT YOU. 😡
Leo: i will be doing no such thing.
You: listen to it or i wont talk to you for the entire weekend.
Leo: FINE. 🙄
Leo: so um...you're allowed to be mad at me for the next 24 hours.
You: that's what i thought.
Raph:
You: RAPHAEL.
Raph: oh hey babe! 🥰
You: DONT HEY BABE ME
You: HOW DARE YOU. 😡
Raph: how dare i what!?
You: HOW DARE YOU BE IN LOVE WITH ME.
Raph: um....i'm sorry that i'm in love with you...? how dare i do that..?
You: AND YOU TREAT ME SO NICELY. 😤
Raph: let me guess. you listened to the alchemy and so high school back to back? 😐
You: maybe.
Raph: i love you and i adore you and you're the best thing in my life 😘
Raph: but good god your well being concerns me.
Donnie:
Donnie: sweetie? do i need to come do a hearing test?
You: LEAVE ME ALONE
Donnie: that bad, huh?
You: i hate you and i dont know why. 🥲
Donnie: okay well i love you so you hating me is not gonna change that 💜
You: i cant relate her songs to our break up and its making me mad
You: be mean to me for once, will you? i need to bask in the smallest man who ever lived
Donnie: yeah that's not going to happen
You: but why 😑
Donnie: i could never be mean to someone so sweet
Donnie: and you scare me a lot so if i am ever mean to you, i'll fear for my life 😬
You: that's so sweet of you 😭
Mikey:
You: it sucks that my boyfriend is a nice guy 😞
Mikey: why do you say that?
You: CAUSE TAYLOR
You: YOURE NICE AND HER EXES ARE DOUCHEBAGS.
Mikey: i can be a douchebag
You: to me? 🥺
Mikey: no! never to you my sweet little angel bug 🧡
You: THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THIS ALBUM AND SONG THE PROPHECY 😡
Mikey: i just think of all my other failed attempts at love and that's worked 🤷
You:......are you okay?
Mikey: totally!
Mikey: just never ask any of my bros about the modeling phase and we'll be fine
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siooin · 9 months
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My review on episode 5 + some comparisons with manga and ln1.
It's mainly about Souheki because if i don't talk about them every chance i get i will explode.
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Start of the episode ,i love the idea of using the sound the Ramune bottle and marble to attract Atsushi's n audiences' attention.It's a shame that they didn't animate Kunikida's soft smile when Ranpo was being even more rude in the manga.
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annnnnnd ofc he's gonna focus on the marble and leave Atsushi sitting there awkwardly. Ranpo autism moment.
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Atsushi thought Ranpo can't do anything without an ability is funny.Atsushi sweetie that's some wild assumption for a guy you just met a few days ago.He really just saw Ranpo can't take the train and assumed the worst lol.
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this scene is always interesting to me because this is the only time we saw Ranpo paying respect to the dead like this.Now i have a few guesses of the reason.
1.a simple one is that maybe he did this all the time,after all we only saw him solve crimes with real bodies like two times.in perfect crime arc they were on rush.
2.Ranpo actually said "oh it's a lady",so yeah maybe he only did that to certain people
3.it's the start of the series so eveything is still uncertain
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I don't have anything to add here,i think we could all agree dazai being there wasn't a coincident.
Another thing i mourn not making into Anime is that Ranpo saying even Dazai is an enigma to him in manga.it adds more layer in their relationship.tbh it's a bit boring if Ranpo always knows what Dazai is up to.
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Now it's cute seeing Dazai defending Ranpo like that because i dont think minoura would actually hit him or something,maybe Dazai just wants to stop the bickering.
I love Ranpo's motto "All's well that's well for me" because it just like him.It seem self-center at first, but if you know him a little better, you'll know it actually means as long as he's fine he can make sure everyone else is fine.It's not just the meaning,this is how everyone's impression of him at first vs when they get to know him.
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this part annoyed me the most cause Dazai looks so fond in the manga ,but he looks passive and serious in anime.LIKE WTF WAS THAT???DAZAI NEVER LOOKED AT RANPO LIKE THAT>>this leads to my biggest complaint of this episode⬇
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//spoil for light novel 1
it has been talked many times how messed up the azure messenger arc aka light novel 1 adaption is.But I want to add it was so poor that it has already affects this episode.In the manga, Dazai didn't explain how he knows Ranpo didn't have an ability to Atsushi.The explanation here is actually straight up pull up from ln1 what he told Kunikida after he first met Ranpo.BUT because Bones don't wanna properly adapt the novel, they have to stiffly add it here.So that's why Dazai seemed serious when testing Ranpo,they want to add the impression this is the first time he discover it.
Do you want to know another fucked up thing about this scene is?They phased it like Dazai never work with Ranpo , that they're unfamiliar with each other.But in reality, Dazai has saw Ranpo's "ability"the very first time they met.They have worked together so well that they received their own name "Souheki".Dazai admires Ranpo so much that he constantly compliment him.
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End the post of my favorite shot of this episode<3 Look at my son having the best time in his life🤩🤩🤩good for him good for him.
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glux2 · 10 months
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Musing: Emotional connection
Recently a very close person to me suggested i binge watch "Angel Hare", before that day my only exposure to that project was a fan game that had a very funny punchline in lampooning the "cursed videogame" genre.
So i watched the whole thing and it was great.
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This scene right here made me feel more feelings than most of the media i have watched/played/read in like the last 5 years or so.
So it made my mind wonder, like, "hold on, when was the last time i felt this strongly about a piece of entertainment?"
Sure, if you know me, i felt strongly about the ongoing plotline for Noelle on Deltarune, so one would think "2021 when chapter two came out", right? but no, i got very invested but it wasn't it.
The last time i felt so strongly about a piece of media was actually Deltarune's predecesor, Undertale in 2015.
I finished Undertale in tears, i got in a very bad funk when i found out about the genocide ending, it truly made me feel emotions.
So i began to ponder, just what really moves me?
Full disclosure: I don't cry at movies. This is not a "look at me i am a badass who is not beheld by feelings" statement, no, i kinda just dont connect emotionally with movies as easily as other people.
I have talked about this, many times actually, Toy Story 3 did not make me cry, it always bothers me how people at the time were like "if TS3 didn't make you cry, you have no soul" and shit like that, so let me repeat something i have said many times before:
Toy Story 3 was a movie i went to see the day doctors had informed me my mother had entered terminal phase of cancer.
My friends took me to see TS3 when i felt the greatest sadness i have ever felt in my entire life. And im glad TS3 was a pretty funny movie that managed to distract me from what i was going through. TS3 uplifted me when i had a very real reason to cry.
So what im getting at is, i rarely connect emotionally with what conventionally makes people emotionally connected, not that i havent felt strong emotions from movies, but as we'll get to later, it's just not the stuff you would expect, when we get back to movies you'll be thinking, "what the fuck, Toy story 3 did not make you emotional but THIS THING DID?!"
So, if traditional "emotional things" rarely have moved me i began to think to myself, "what are things that have made me feel this strongly?"
I realized it's the damn weirdest things.
I'll try to list things that i can remember making me feel this emotional.
Now i'll be upfront, im not a very cultured person, so you'll notice most of this is...not very high brow.
Also, obviously spoilers for all this stuff im about to talk about.
Before we begin: Honorable mention goes to me finding out i had repressed memories of being traumatized as a kid by being show an animated adaptation of "Pilgrim's progress" by an aunt, which disturbed me greatly towards the end as the main character dies and before it the souls of two people he met are condemned to eternal damnation from making MISTAKES, not sins, not evil, but THE FUCKING MISTAKE of exploring alternate routes before them.
-Yoshi's Island, 1994 When i was a wee one Yoshi was one of my fave videogame characters, so of course i was beyond hype when a game where you play as yoshi came out, the ending is one of the greatest moments in videogame history, the beautiful music, the journey of the stork, and finally the classic Mario fan fare playing as baby mario and baby luigi being held by their parents with the words "Heroes are born", it's such a powerful moment. To this day i still cannot listen to that credits music without tearing up.
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Sequel? Retcon?! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, SHUT UP, THIS IS THE PERFECT ENDING AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED AFTER IT!
-The bicentennial man, 1999 The bicentennial man is one of the biggest examples of a movie being fucking mischaracterized in the marketing, this movie is based on Isaac Asimov's short story and later novel, it stars Robin Williams, so all marketing was presenting the movie as Robin Williams comedy movie, IT. IS. NOT. The bicentennial man is a scifi drama about the existential search for meaning and the nature of what truly is to be alive. You get invested on the quest of this robot trying to find humanity for 200 years, and the punchline to this movie is, in his quest for humanity he forgoes the immortality being a machine provides him as he had developed the way to turn himself biological, still artificial but biological, and he dies peacefully on his sleep before he can be told that humanity had declared him, legally, a human being. To me it was such a powerful moment, he found true meaning to his life, became human, yet died before knowing so.
-Courage the cowardly dog, "The Mask", 2002 This is a legendary episode of an already great show that has a lot of very good emotional moments, some may cite episodes like "the giving tree" or "the last star maker", but for me it's this one. For those who have never experienced this episode, it revolves around a cat girl named Kitty who one day shows up at Courage's farm and she's wearing an upsetting mask, she abuses courage because she believes all dogs are bad. The mask serves 2 purposes, one is metaphorical, "her inability to face reality", the second is to hide her identity as she believes she is in danger. The thing is, she is on the run because her lover best friend Bunny is trapped in an abusive relationship with a gangster dog who threatened to kill her if she was seen near Bunny ever again, the episode coats the whole situation with a ton of goofiness, but it's actually very fucking dark: A young lesbian is trapped against her will on an abusive relationship with a toxic, violent man who threatened to kill her girlfriend if she refused to date him. Courage, being a good little dog ventures to save Bunny and have her reunite with Kitty because, despite how bad Kitty was to him, he recognizes that Kitty is a victim and she and Bunny deserve better, leading to Courage letting them escape away together, to live happy and free. I don't think it's just me, but the final image of Kitty and Bunny hugging as the train takes them to freedom felt so powerful to me.
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-Twisted Metal Head-on, 2002 This is one of the weirdest things i have ever gotten emotionally invested, but honestly? i love when some shitposting franchise suddenly manages to pull this off, specially given the set up for this whole thing im going to describe starts in an early game as a fucking joke. So to contextualize this, the first two Twisted metal games were helmed by the og creators of the franchise, TM 3, 4 and small brawl were made by different developers when the creators lost the rights, but during the PS2 era when the og developers came back and created TM: Black, and TM: Head-on, Black was a reboot, Head-on was a retcon sequel to TM 2 that eliminated TM3 from the timeline, but not TM 4. Still with me? Okay so TM2 had this character, Krista Sparks, who was the revealed to be the daughter of the main antagonist of the game, Calypso, but hold on? wasn't Calypso's backstory that his family died in a tragic accident which lead him to become evil? So turns out, the FBI retrieved his daughter's corpse, turned it into a robot with a bomb with the intend to make her get close to Calypso and blow him up. The ending ends comically with a message reading "The FBI wishes to thank you for putting an end to Twisted metal". Stil Still with me?!?!?! ok! so Head on! In this game Krista is back, as a ghost, her ending consists on her confronting her dad, who has now brought up so much pain, misery and death to the world, Calypso tries to explain that the nature of his powers mean he has to do this otherwise he cannot use his powers, and his plan was for Krista to win so he could bring her back and her mom to life, but Krista is so horrified with what has happened that she refuses and blurts "I wish the accident that killed me and mom never happened" the intention being impeding Calypso from becoming this evil super natural villian, but as per all endings, it's always a monkey paw affair and Calypso knows it, looking saddened he grants the wish because he has no option, his powers force him to. Briefly Krista has a vision of her childhood with her dad before he became evil as they share a sweet moment playing on a swing set. HARD CUT TO A HOSPITAL, Krista is on a bed in coma, Calypso is there and whispers to her something along the lines of "Sleep tight my dear, may you finally find peace", as Calypso is leaving the hospital you can hear 2 doctors talking, mentioning that Krista had been in coma for more than a decade and apparently Calypso just had found out. Excuse me Twisted Metal, but WHAT THE FUCK? You are a dumb fucking edgy car combat game, how dare you make me feel these things?
-Mother 3, 2006 (translation on 2008) Mother 3 hopefully needs no introduction, or maybe it does, because many people have reduced it to a joke due to how nintendo stubbornly refuses to give us an official release, but also many of you must know this franchise is the spark that ignited the flame of the absolute Juggernaut Undertale would become, as well as many other games influenced by it. The Mother/Earthbound games were known for being quirky and deviating from the standard conventions of the game, notably for the modern day setting and unorthodox choices of how you deal with the villians, they were always billed as emotional, but i feel they did not live up to that...until 3. The general narrative to Mother 3 is about how greed is destroying the world, the main villian corrupting what we see of the world (a paradise little town where everybody is nice) by introducing luxury, money and status....and also stomping everything with his fascist army and cyborg mutants. Mother 3 is a game about how the worst traits of humanity are destroying the world and upsetting nature. Mother 3 is also the story of 2 twin brothers who suffer tragedy after tragedy after tragedy that ultimately pits them one against the other with the fate of the world at stake. Mother 3 punches you almost immediately by killing the mother character (which i might mention you're encouraged to name after your own mother) at the end of the first chapter and how this affects her surviving family. one of the Twins, Claus, is so disturbed that he decides to on on his own to try to kill the monster that took his mom, while the other, Lucas, was too afraid and weak to stop his brother, resulting on Claus dying as well...but the badguys take his corpse and reanimate it into a cold, emotionless cyborg who follow's the big bad's order and is using him to try to cause the end of the world. In the climax of the story Lucas is force to confront Claus, clause is a brain washed cyborg, his master is out of the picture and all he can do is fight, you can't reason with him...and then.... Lucas and Claus begin to hear a voice, a familiar voice, it's their mother, reaching for them from beyond the grave, pleading for them to stop fighting, suddenly Lucas and Claus both have a flash back to when they were babies, overhearing their parents talk about the hopes they have for them, the many things they will be able to achieve together, this makes Clause snap out of his brain washing, removing the helmet that had been hiding his face since he was resurrected, Lucas and him have a moment as they are finally reunited, Claus realizes all the bad things he has done while under control of the bad guy and realizes he must atone for his crimes, he prepares a lightning attack he knows cannot hurt Lucas and cause HIM to die. "Im sorry for all the problems i caused" he says as he is dying on his dad's arm, "I must go to where mom is now", as he passes away he can hear his mother calling for him, "You just be so tired" she says. Now i know it will sound insane for people to hear a videogame of all things can make one so emotional, but damn, just recollecting these scenes for this dumb post has made me start to cry, the emotional punch of this scene is very strong, it demolished me when i played the game back in the day, but now? After my own mother passed away? I have been scared of playing this game again. I mot sure if im emotionally prepare to go though that again, even 10+ years later. That's how powerful this scene was to me.
-Elite Beat Agents, 2007 If you have played this game, you know were im going, for those who dont, EBA is a silly rhythm game about secret agent cheer leaders that are dispatched around the world to help people in need by raising their spirit and allow them to overcome adversity, the game is insanely wacky and have scenarios like helping a ninja car salesman prevent a company from stealing his company's secrets, helping a washed up baseball star fight a lava spitting golem rampaging on an amusement park and traveling back in time to help davinci paint the mona lisa. EBA is also the second game in the Ouendan series, and there is something you need to know about this series: They all include tearjerker levels to contrast with all the goofiness. "A christmas Wish" is a christmas themed level set to Chicago's "You are the inspiration" and the story to this level is positively DEVASTATING: A few months before christmas a business man tells his daughter and wife he has to go on a business trip but he promises he'll be back just in time for christmas, the girl asks him to bring back a "girlfriend" for her teddy bear. The father dies on a plane crash. When the mother breaks the news to the little girl she gets angry, crying to the skies that her dad promised he would be back for christmas. The backdrop of the stage is set the girl and the mom doing things to remember the dad, like looking through a photo album and baking a cake for his birthday, it's very sweet, but...this is EBA, if you're doing poorly you see the "bad" versions of these scenes, and in this one, one is very devastating, the little girl is having a dream where she's chasing the spirit of her dad, if you're doing well she calls for him and for a brief moment the dad stops and starts turning towards her, if you're doing bad the spirit fades away and the girl wakes up in tears. Dear goodness. But of course, if you beat the level you get this sequence of the ghost of the dad showing up on chrismas morning to fullfil his promise, giving the little girl the teddy bear he promised and having the chance to say good bye to his family.
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This punches you really fucking hard in the gut. I am incapable of doing this level without ending in tears. For a time i could not even listen to this song without tearing up until, i shit you now, the deadpool movie used it on a comedy scene.
-Punch out!!, 2009 This one is one i know got me because of personal nostalgia, when i was a wee one the og NES punch out was a big part of my childhood, Punch Out!! on the wii was a masterfully crafted tribute to the franchise. To not dwell too much time on this, this game has an interesting quirk, the ending is a downer ending and it's the only ending you can get. After you beat the last opponent there is a sequence where Mac and Doc seemingly are having a disagreement, where Mac seemingly has decided that if he loses 3 times, he'll retire from boxing completely. After this you face randomly opponents from the game, the first time you lose in this mode you lose your champion title, after three loses, it's game over and the story mode becomes locked for that save file. The final cutscene is Doc walking through what seems to be a gallery with boxing memorabilia, and untold number of years later, he is alone, he spots his old bike on this gallery and rings the bell, he looks up and speak to an absent Mac, "Good job son, good job", as he leaves the camera pans to reveal he was looking at a framed photo of him and Mac on one of their training sessions. The music on this sequence is so perfect, and it was aimed at people like me, people who grew up with the franchise, the idea was making it feel like Doc was reminiscing of YOUR time with punch out when you were a kid, and to make you think about how far YOU have come since the first time you played the games in an arcade, or your nes, or snes. It's actually pretty effective and it got me.
-Regular Show, "Trucker Hall of Fame", 2012 What makes this one different from others instances of me making me emotional, it's, much like the "Angel Hare" example at the top, this one is all about WARM HAPPY FEELINGS, so for those who did not watch this episode, let me summarize it for you: One day Muscleman gets word that his dad, who was his personal hero, has passed away, and he's tasked with carrying his final wish, spread his [hat's] ashes in a place called "Trucker hall of fame", you see, Muscleman was lead to believe his dad was a legendary trucker and that earned him his admiration, but during the episode Muscleman finds out he was lied to, his dad was a forklift driver that the truckers belittled, altho feeling cheated for having been lied to he carries on with his father's wishes. Now because this is regular show, when they arrive at the trucker's hall of fame they are immediately attacked by ghost trucker for "desecrating the hall of fame" as they spread the ashes something happens: The ghost of Muscleman's dad manifests himself and saves his son, taking the chance to apologize to his son and having the chance to say his final good bye personally. Despite the inherent silliness of the show's premise, i think this episode really did a good job on expressing that sense of catharsis of making peace with the passing of a love one.
-The Final Girls, 2015 A friend suggested we watched this movie, and much like Twisted metal up there, i absolutely did not expect for this incredibly stupid comedy horror movie to hit me with any sort of emotional connection, and yet... The Final Girls opens with the main character in a car with her mom, who is an struggling C-tier actress whose biggest achievement ever was appearing on a Friday the 13th knock off movie, during this sequence they get in an accident where the mom dies and even after it's been some time since the accident the main character has not properly moved on from the passing of her mom. Her friends and some people at the college she attends are preparing this horror movie festival where the main event is they are going to play the movies from the franchise her mom was on, and they suggest she should come. Then some bullshit happens and they all end up somehow trapped in the world of the movie. A quick rundown of the rules of horror movies is explained to them, the monster cannot be defeated by fighting it, it's only the final girl who can defeat the killer, and unfortunately for them they accidentally killed the character that, in the canon of the movie, is the final girl, so they believe one of them has to become the final girl and end the movie to hopefully get out of it. The problem is, the main character is experimenting shock from interacting with her mom's character, she is not taking well to seeing her mom on the flesh and she dedicates the entire movie to "save her mom", in the climax of the movie the mom character begins to understand that she is a fictional character and the nature of her attachment to the main character, understanding that they cannot be both the final girl and if then main character wants to make it back to the real world she has to learn "To let go", choosing to sacrifice herself so there is only one final girl. It's kinda weird, that of all possible premises, this managed to make a "You need to move on" message that somehow managed to resonate with me, you might have figured out by now a running theme here, but, i was really hard for me to deal with my mother's passing even if it's been years since it happened, so it's kinda funny for me to think these are the places i have found comfort from.
-Undertale, 2015 Okay this is tumblr, i already talked about Undertale on the prologue to, whatever the fuck im doing here, you know what undertale is, you know how effective it is, Undertale is really well designed for you to grow emotionally attached to these characters, so being able to see all these characters you know have grown attached to have their happy ending on the pacifist ending does fill one with a very satisfactory warm happy feeling that can move you to tears. ...Or you can be bummed out by being a little greedy gaming bitch and taking a look at the bad ending. Because you just couldn't help yourself, could you?
-Onward, 2020 This movie did not hit me as hard as the most emotional entries on this, but it still got me, because in the end of the day the main motivation of the characters on this movie is experiencing closure, catharsis over the death of their father, for Ian it's the fact that he died before he was born so he never met him and is driven by this desire to finally see the father who he shares such a connection with on the stories everybody who knew him in life have told him, and then there is Barley, the elder brother, who did know his dad in life, but is tortured by how, as a kid, he did not properly say good bye to him because he was terrified of death and avoided being there for him in his final days. The ending for this movie is very powerful, Ian choosing to sacrifice being able to meet his dad in the flesh, even for a few minutes, in order to give Barley the chance to being able to properly make peace with his dad and properly say good bye to him. Ian doesn't even get to SEE this, he does not get to see his dad even tho it was what he wanted most of all, but he understood bringing closure to Barley was more important than his selfish desire to see his dad, someone he never knew in life.
So what have i learned from whatever the hell this trainwreck of a post is...i guess that what really gets to me, what really moves me, is when a character, maybe not even someone i can realistically relate to, gets to experience closure, catharsis and be in peace with the people who are missing on their life. The majority of these things in here, even the Angel Hare example, relate to a character being able to experience catharsis by being able to properly make pace or otherwise contact someone they lost, or their ability to move on from this world, so to speak, knowing that their affairs and in order and that their loved ones will be okay.
Things can always look dark, the world may be trying to keep you down, maybe losing someone has been specially hard for you, but it's not the end of the world, you are loved and things can get better, it always hurts and we'll never stop missing what we have lost, but the memories of happier times are there to remind us, we can be happy again, and we can move on, use those memories as your motivation, you can lead yourself to a future filled with light.
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silly-little-soul · 3 months
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SDV Highschool AU
A/N - in celebration of my graduation today!!
Very rushed and not formatted properly cause I’m at prom rn and writing this on my phone I’ll fix it later but like i wanted to post sth for the occassion
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Summary: sdv highschool au, the ones under the +++ are x reader
Characters: Harvey, Shane, Elliot, Haley (cause theyre my favs to write for)
Warnings: drug mention
~~~~~~~~~~~
HARVEY
- Big nerd
- He’s planning to study medicine so of course he puts accordingly much effort
- Awkward as fuck icl
- Everyone lowkey loves him cause he’s always really helpful
- Aka almost the entire class just copies his homework
- Lives off coffee in every life and scenario
- (One of the) best in class and beloved by the teachers but not annoying about it
- If y’all wanna act like there wasn’t any homework in front of the teacher cause no one did it (except him ofc bcs NERD) he’ll totally play along
- Which is probably why the whole reason it worked
- Some ppl def have a crush on him
- But he’s just so awkward and oblivious… I love him
- Also not rlly into the kind of dating that’s most common among teens? Does that make sense??
+++
- So for you, let’s say you’ve been his friend since forever, best friends perhaps
- He’s had a crush on you so long but has like no idea how to go about it
- And you think he’s not interested cause he has friendzoned you so hard multiple times before
- It was a panic reaction don’t blame him
- I can picture you coming together at sone school dance and it’s like really cliche
- I’ll make these longer later I’m sorry
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SHANE
- stoner
- Like sorry but
- Maybe it’s my Connor Murphy obsession or maybe I’m right
- I’m basing this v much on mentally ill Shane ik that backstory only semi much works with a highschool setting but we dont rlly know abt pre mental illness shane so
- Generally not bad at school he just has intense down phases where he completely falls behind (relatable)
- Works at some fast food chain and hates it but yk money is money
- No one ever shows up for parent teacher talks bcs he doesnt want the school to know about his family and his family about school yk
- Quiet most of the time
- Mean when talked to
+++
- But also like he doesn’t rlly mean it with some people you just gotta po ker if he does for you and talk to him
- Good news: you’re very much an exception
- Phew
- I’m thinking forced project or something
- No actually I’m thinking one of you is the others dealer
- Probs starting as a kinda fwb thing that becomes serious
- There’s sm potential here icl
- I’m gonna rewrite all of this next week and get more into it
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ELLIOT
- The weirdest kid in the grade but beloved by all
- Writes a lot, probably started a club that’s related to that somehow
- Wins a lot of those lil writing competitions schools do
- A romantic, hands out flowers or something to people on Valentine’s
- Like super mysterious and no one can tell if he does it on purpose or if it just kinda is like that
- Def has some ppl crushing on him
- Has been ppls secret admirer before
- Except it’s not rlly secret bcs who else would do allat
+++
- So when he falls for you it’s like that too
- You get mysterious letters and flowers from an admirer
- Except it’s not mysterious bcs Elliot everyone knows no one else does that!!!
- You pretend not to realize a while tho cause it’s sweet
- And then after a but you just give him a secret admirer letter back
- Even if it’s not quite as poetic as his
- He appreciates it sm cause it’s so rare people match his energy
- You’re couple goals but also lowkey make ppl sick with all your sap
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HALEY
- Pretty popular
- She’s very confident and can be a bit brash so you might get the idea she’s a typical mean girl but she’s actually pretty sweet
- Especially with the girls
- You might get a comment about your messy makeup but best believe she’s fixing it up for you
- Girl in trouble? She’s right there without hesitation
- Has told so many of the guys off before for harassing girls or not taking a hint
- She’s a guardian angle ngl
- A whole bunch of people having a crush on her and it’s getting kinda rough
- If the person is respectful she’s really nice in rejecting them (or at least tries), she was mean about it like once and felt so bad after
- She knows she comes off as pretty harsh and it’s not always intentional yk
+++
- You probably meet through extra activities i forgot the name
- She gets a crush p quickly but like y’all wait till you rlly know you work as a duo before you dare ask her out
- Like you wanna have sth behind your question and what you say yk
- Okay i gotta stop writing but !!!!!! will fix this up and write more next week
- Also send requests or fandom talk please and thank you
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prototypesteve · 3 months
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hi! I just came across your acc and read some of your posts and you seem a really inspiring individual. im a 18yo demisexual person who's really close to their queerness (both in the sexuality and gender aspects) as its a fundamental part of my individuality. and i dunno, both my being acespec and genderqueer are a tricky... thing to get into when i want to get into relationships. im trying to be happy by myself. and this was very random and all, but as you're an adult aroace (i see very very few of them) its inspiring to me knowing I can still have a good, normal life? while living in full authenticity. idk. sorry if this is random. you dont have to reply. your account was nice to come across. have a wonderful day
Thank you for this. This is why I’m here. Honestly this is most of why I came out. Seriously.
Being Different and “New”.
The world is catching up with you, so you’ll have to be patient sometimes. Language often outpaces feelings. People know how to address genderqueer (they know all the words) but they’re still learning how to process genderqueer (they’re deconstructing all the old gender “archetypes” and stereotypes they were taught by parents and teachers who didn’t address or process genderqueer in their day). They will figure it out, because they can see it’s real. But it’s frustrating, in the meantime.
Even our own community of LGBTQIA+ (in Canada we use 2SLGBTQIA+, leading with 2S for two-spirit) is catching up with us in a lot of ways. The queer community has largely thought of queer as for/about genderqueer, and so when they see aros and aces and demisexuals and demiromantics, they have to either accept or reject that there’s a whole other layer of queer called relationship queer who intersect and overlap with genderqueer inside the bigger (and for some “newly bigger”) queer category/world/thing.
Being alone.
Alone is a complicated word for us. Aspec people experience a few kinds of alone-ness. There’s completion, which allos sometimes don’t get. We’re complete inasmuch as aspec people don’t have as many spaces in their lives where they need an “other half,” even though many of us spend a lot of our lives being told we have that space and we need to fill it. I wrote about that, here.
Then there’s the way we can can feel isolated from the bigger queer world because of the ways some people refuse to accept asexuality and aromanticism as queer, because they see it as a cishet thing, somehow.
We can feel isolated from traditional communities built around faith, politics, ethnicity, national identity, or even generational identity (GenX was wiiiiildly amatonormative), all because our defining differences are falsely interpreted as “new”. People misread our orientation as a phase, or a “made up internet thing” even though we’ve always been here. For ages, the world didn’t want to talk about all the asexual, aromantic, demisexual, and demiromantic people they could see everywhere—unlabelled, but plain as day—and now that we want to talk about ourselves, they’re going to say “you’re making that up”.
Then there’s the alone-ness of trying to explain how we do love, but differently. That one’s hard. I think that’s the one I’m going through the most, this year.
“See Also”:
Anyway, here’s a poorly-sorted and always growing “library” of links to my most popular social media posts, and stuff I’ve learned as an older ace. The recurring theme is that it really is going to be okay.
I’m still me, but now I know why. (How I explain my “thing” to straight friends who knew me from before I came out.)
Phase (You don’t outgrow it. I’m proof.)
Complete (Our complex relationship with “Alone”)
1994 (The counsellor story)
When I realized (Slow origin story)
Lifeline (Something bad happened to me when I was young, and believe it or not, Spider-Man rescued me.)
Recipe for Disaster (When life happens BEFORE you figure out your orientations)
Sexual Induction rather than a sexual awakening. (Things won’t always follow the romance novel playbook.)
Complicated. (Being queer AND Christian.)
Din Djarin Aroace Rep (We love. We just mostly do all the other kinds of love)
Treasure (a note to my trans friends)
Happy Ace Week (yes we’re here)
Masked (About not being out to everyone)
Negotiating (About gaining “acceptance” from the bigger queer community.
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eastereggie · 4 months
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hihi !! this is eggie/cam :] im sure that people in the kaeloo fandom recognize me so hello !!
i cannot believe that my very first own post on tumblr, especially about a fandom that ive always cherished, for 6 years now (going strong !!!!) will be about the current drama but here we go, since that shit seems to escalade to a level that i consider dangerous:
THIS IS A WHOLE BUNCH OF ADULTS FIGHTING WITH MOSTLY MINORS TO WRITE SMUT (or if you dont like the word, p0rn, because its not less than that) OF ANIMALS WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE KIDS. this is it. thats what the drama is about.
all the posts going around, all the victimisation, all the new s3xual fanfictions dropping for "psychological studies" or whatever all the bullshit youre telling yourself to be seen as a saint, this is what this is about: people, mostly in their late 20s, even if i recall seeing younger people being in this weird side of the fandom, fighting for their life to make their harmful headcanons (to avoid saying, again fantasies) acceptable. so ill repeat it again, for this side of the fandom and anyone else: THIS. IS. NOT. ACCEPTABLE. this is not about having a different opinion, this is not about the freedom of speech or letting people enjoy things in peace; and you cannot be upset, to the point that you are tracking IPs (thats creepy as hell btw), making whole edits about the situation (this one is just funny so i had to talk about it) because people are calling you out. you are NOT being harassed. you are NOT the victim. you are NOT defending yourself. this isnt what it is about at all. you are just an adult, watching a kid show and deciding that 90% of your fanfics about it will include sex (and not just casually, no, in EVERY CHAPTER. ew). this is just gross, and whats even worse is acting like you're not the one who should be blamed. its not new in the fandom to see people being THIS creepy, but a part of me thought that we maybe moved past this but well...
there is no other way of saying this, i really wish i could make this whole post a little bit more polite, but i genuinely think that some of you have never been confronted to the consequences of their actions, since you reassure yourself by hanging out with people as weird as you who will obviously agree with you.i used to feel disapointed, sad and upset to see people i considered as friends turning out like that, but honestly this is all just embarrassment at this point... i truly hope this whole stuff will calm down soon, though it couldve been stopped way earlier if a certain part of the fandom didnt start using tumblr to childishly provoke the people who called them out. if you want to continue being creeps, or pretend that you're not the problem, as you wish ! but dont except people to accept you or whatever, create your own "safe place" and stay in there, for the sake of everyone else. hopefully yall will grow out of your "everyone is against me" phase, even if its a little late for that considering the fact that some of you are older than 21 already :) but its never too late ! (if you made it this far i apologise for the yapping and tysm for taking the time to read all of that lol)
-eggie ^_^
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miltonbarbie · 1 year
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South park headcanons with naturally talented Y/n ! (Kyle x F!reader)
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Going going down to south park, was probably the best idea you've ever made, and the most life-changing idea you've ever made.
Your parents were moving to south park so your dad could work for his new job. You just finished unpacking and you knew that you were starting south park elementary by tomorrow. You looked around your room feeling proud of yourself. You decorated it really nicely and had all your video games and instruments laid on the shelves and floors. You were known as the person who's good at everything. You've always gotten good grades, your super athletic, you play more than 5 instruments and your parents are always bragging about you.
But all you wanted was they're approval, that's why you started this whole "good at everything" phase in the first place. You went downstairs and put on your boots.
"Momm! I'm going outside for a few hours so I can see what it's like okay? I'll be back before dinner!!"
After you heard your mom's approval for going outside, you opened the door and felt the cold breeze on your face. This was your new home.
You decided to go see your neighbours house, you wanted to get familiar with the people you would be going to school with to avoid any awkwardness. You knocked on the door, and a boy who was the same age as you opened it. He wore a green babushka(?) hat and it seemed like he had red curly hair underneath, judging by the strands poking out of his hat. You smiled and waved at him, he turned his head sideways and called out to his mom.
“MOMMM! We have a VISITOR!”
You were invited into the house by the boy’s mom, and you two sat down on the couch while Mrs. Broflovski went to get snacks for the two of you. You awkwardly made eye contact with the kid beside you until you decided to speak up.
[ “So uh, it seems like we’ll have to introduce ourselves. I’m Y/n, and I moved in next door. I’m yo ur new neighbour!” ] [ Oh, well. Welcome to South Park Y/n. My name’s Kyle. ]
You two talked to each other for some time while eating the snacks Kyle’s mom got for you two. And he offered to bring you upstairs to play video games together. Of course, you accepted. Why wouldn’t you want to play games with your new friend? Kyle DID have to warn you about South Park elementary though. And him hating Eric’s guts, he sternly told you to stay away from him, because he’s: “A fatass that’s always getting on everyone’s nerves”. You decided to take his advice whether he was being serious or not. He really seemed to hate this guy, a lot.
You two chatted and laughed together while discussing what you've experienced so far at south park. Kyle also offered to help you with assignments for school if you needed any help. You shrugged and said that you didnt need any help with your work ..
But you could help with HIS ?!
Oh no no no!
Kyle laughed a bit and brushed off what you said, he explained that he already got straight A's and asked you for your grades. You pulled up a crumbled up (graded) assignment from your jacket pocket and showed it to him.
"Ahaha! I dont need any help with my grades, but thanks anyway. You must be pretty good at homework if you- WHAT THE FUCK."
Y-you- got- better- grades- than- him-
[ "HOLY SHIT HOW MUCH DO YOU STUDY?!" ] [ "Uhh.. I dont ? ]
Kyle's self esteem was pretty much ruined because of you, and on top of that, you don't even study. How could you y/n?! You could pretty much see some tears forming in his eyes because he cared about his grades so much just to see that his hard work didn't matter as long as he saw how well you did. You quickly took action and uh.
You uh.
You kinda uhm. Hugged him.
WHAT WERE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO?! Poor boy was about to cry, and you didn't want him to feel bad. You reassured him that you just had good memory and that you weren't ever as smart as him. You actually are but just for Kyle's sake just lie about it okay?
All that talk about how smart he was and how well he was doing in school and shii really payed off. Because not only does he really like you as friend, and developed some small mixed feelings 4u: He stayed really cocky and might stay like that for the whole week.
You two stayed up for past your dinnertime, when you checked your phone. Your eyes widened as you frantically got your things and texted your mom. She said she knew where you were already since Kyle's mom already messaged her about it.
You sighed in relief after your mom said you could stay there. And you happily continued talking to Kyle. He pays attention to every little detail you say and he loves looking into your eyes during a conversation because he thinks your just so damn pretty.
UH SO YEAH UHM I RAN OUT OF IDEAS FOR THIS ONE BUT I STILL THINK ITS PRETTY GOOD TYTYTYTYTYSMSMSMSMSMSMILYSYSYSYSYSILYMSMSMSMSM </33333333
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urbestestwindgod · 4 days
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epic the musical sagas 1-7 song rating tw i have bad taste
1. keep your friends close—this shouldnt be a shocker this was the song that after knowing abt epic but noy having tiktok at the time to be able to see its progress n stuff i didnt know much abt it n listening to the songs out of order was confusing but the moment i hesrd this enchanting melody i was a fan fan downloading tiktok just for the updates from jorge this has been my unbeatable favorite for a while im rlly annoying abt it as we know
2. open arms—the first released song i heard that introduced me to epic and again not knowing much abt it or how to listen to it in order in the early days (fun fact my intelligence peaked in algebra and ive never been that smart abt anything else ever) seeing ppl talk abt polities not knowing he died was kinda scary like wdym this cutie goes to “the wrong club”?? :(
3. suffering—its fun n ody gets to talk to his wife what do u want from me
4. scylla—AHHHHHHHHHH i fold over and seize every time those strings start after the “hello”
5. ruthlessness—like the idea of poseidon man handling him what can i say WHAT DO YOU W A N T from meee
6. wouldnt you like—i would i would
7. remember them—hes so dumb i lovw him
8. lucky runs out—if iii wasnt overstimulated rn i could gather my thoughts and explain this but unfortunately i am a student
9. storm—this and luck runs out are twins in my head and heart
10. polyphemus—THATS MY CYCLOPS!!! HELL YEA!!!
11. legendary—very good, love how telemachus sings like an adolescent love his dreams and love him unfortunately it IS in the same saga as….her
12. little wolf—I THOUGHT WE WOULD ALL AHIP HIM AND ANTINOUS AFTER THIS AONG BC THERES TENSION GUYS I SWEAR WDYM ITS CONTROVERSIAL :(
13. no longer you—if i could dance i would dance to this, with air probably but still
14. full speed ahead—need this song spoonfed to me while i bang on the table like a toddler in a highchair
15. the horse and the infant—NEOPTOLEMUS MENTIONED??? AHHH!!!!
16. different beast—lovely lovely lovely his voice is so
17. survive—oooo uhhhh
18. mutiny—it shocks me every time somehow
19. monster—should be higher but i forgor abt it srry—yeayea great song kick my feet to it wvery tim
20. warrior of the mind—greek son and thought daughter (was funnier in my head)
21. my goodbye—she leaved :(
22. puppeteer—if circe (odyssey) didnt plague my view of circe (epic) i would like her songs more sorry guys
23. done for—is it baaaaadddd that i dont have many thoughts on this :(
24.there are other ways—IM SURE THERE ARE CIRCE IM SURE THERE ARE
25. thunder bringer—again this was meant to be higher but i was gonna put it somewhere special and forgor :(
26. the underworld—oh ouch ouch ouch ouchie ouch
27. god games—THE SNIPPET OF THIS WAS THE FIRST EPIC SONG I EVER HEARD AND KICKSTARTED A GREEK MYTHOLOGY PHASE THAT MY FAMILY WILL NEVER FORGIVE JORGE FOR. apollos part was so short tho 😔 sigh…
28. just a man—I LIKE IT I JUST NEVER REMEMBER IT AGHHHHH I LOVE IT THO I SWEAR I SWEAR I SWEAR
29. we’ll be fine—OMFGOMFGOMFG unfortunately it is right before….yeaaaa
30. love in paradise—OH EWEWEWEWEWEW i would like this a lot more if people didnt act like calypso deserved to feel happiness or joy or pleasure or even life? idn where this unbridled hatred for her comes from i dont feel this way about way worse characters BUT I WANT EVERY DEATH IN THE ILIAD DONE TO CALYPSO FIVE TIMES EACH CALYPSO WHEN I CATCH UR ASS—its not even about odysseus anymore ody get in the car mama has business to attend to WHEN IM NOT SORRY FOR LOVING U COMES OUT I WILL SHAKE MY HEAD IN DISAPPOINTMENT AND and gently and discreetly remove it from my epic playlist :3 i block everyone i see who talks positively about her genuinely she ruins my day. i know shes not real but still the concept of her makes me physically shake in anger sometimes in the middle of my perfectly normal day SHE SUCKS I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH dont ask me why i dont know why but just just put me in a room with her and every weapon ever ever made that would be wish fulfillment for me
saga rating is ocean, thunder, cyclops, troy, underworld, circe, wisdom (and depending on how im not sorry for loving u goes justr know vengeance is going in eighth)
anyways uhm im a little manic this week but i hope i didnt make u hate me TOO much with this i am aware that my taste in everything is bad my favorite food is plain butterless angel hair noodles ans my favorite drink is water, my favorite color is green, my favorite animal is probably frogs bc most animals give me the heebie jeebies, and my favorite book is frankenstein thanks for being here i love u :3
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