#Vitamin F
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uniqayalifestyleblog · 1 year ago
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Uniqaya Tinted Sunscreen SPF 50 Online For All Skin
Uniqaya Tinted Sunscreen SPF 50, Ultra Light Indian Sunscreen for face with Artichoke Extract, Avocado Oil, Carrot Seed Oil, Linoleic Acid, Lycopene, Vitamin F, Cyclopentasil, and Turmeric for sun protection.
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cleverthylacine · 18 days ago
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Freaking MAGA liars (propaganda war)
All of the ordinary Chinese people who got mad when they heard that Americans pay $200 for a couple bags of groceries and ambulances and medical care are not free apparently complained to somebody.
And our government got MAD.
Yesterday the US Embassy in China told the Chinese people that the average worth of Americans is close to $1 million.
Someone posted about it on Rednote. I commented that Elon Musk has over 400 billion dollars and lives here and if they take him out of the pool I bet the numbers will be very different. I probably should have mentioned that there's also Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates and Trump himself but I think the point was made.
Also they've seen a lot of our houses and cars and kitchens now, so. We don't look like millionaires!
400 billion dollars. if there are 8 million people on earth and he had to share it with everyone he and everyone else would still have 50 billion dollars which is still way more money than anyone on earth has ever needed for any reason. If there were 50 billion dollars in the bank per person (because there's still a lot of money left in the world from the other stupidly rich people) that was set aside to make sure every human got a good start in life and an education in whatever they want to do (tech education counts, trades counts, we need plumbers or the doctors will be overworked) and a universal basic income...
And people ask why I'm literally a commie.
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thatsrightice · 1 year ago
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F-14 FUN FACT OF THE DAY #28
The NATOPS limits the F-14 Tomcat to 6.5 Gs despite being designed for a maximum of 7.5 Gs. This is because anything beyond 7.5 Gs will result in permanent, most likely irreparable, deformation to the aircraft along with the fact that there was no G-limiter on on the F-14 Tomcat. Unlike newer aircraft, the F-14 will not prevent you from doing any maneuver, even potentially fatal ones, so pilots had to know the limits of themselves and the limits of the aircraft when flying. Because of this, over-stresses happened somewhat often.
During his first BFM (Basic Fighter Maneuver) hop in the RAG, “Jambo” was in a dog fight against another pilot when he pulled a maneuver that had him “grey out” (not quite blacked out). Then his back seater told him “ok cowboy, level it out and take it home.” When Jambo asked why, he was told to check the G-meter. It said 11.
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landgraabbed · 5 months ago
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my b12 vitamin pills taste so badly. this after i kinda scuffed the skin of my palms trying to get the bottle open sjsdfjsdf
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dollyprincessollie · 7 months ago
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averymaxxing today (justifying my 7:30 PM nap by saying i need it bc ive exerted my powers too much)
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moldsporr · 1 year ago
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Love Raincode because Kanai Ward is just. The area I live in. Except we don't use umbrellas here we're not bitches
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kang-yina · 1 year ago
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my constant anxiety and lack of vitamins makes women melt
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cleverthylacine · 4 days ago
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the cat would not have been my first concern
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even if the reptile already lives there, why is it in the tub with a strange cat? if it's your reptile, you should be concerned about that. if it's not your reptile...well. a strange reptile in your house is more alarming than a strange cat, because it is wild, and then particularly if they showed up together.
I know I'm overthinking this, but I'm right, yeah?
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dabeth-is-dead · 4 months ago
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So Byers is against poaching because of a television bear. Well that's really cute actually
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nmotypdfsfg · 2 years ago
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cleverthylacine · 24 days ago
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Or maybe if you're at the maximum low effort of going to McD's on a date, don't make it worse by being weird about it?
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malusokay · 24 days ago
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gelatin gummies for glowy skin
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not only fun to make but also incredibly efficient, packed with collagen, antioxidants, and skin-nourishing ingredients:
Ingredients:
• 2 cups liquid: you can use fresh orange juice, pomegranate juice, or green tea (rich in antioxidants and vitamin C).
• 3 tbsp unflavored gelatin: this provides the collagen for skin elasticity and hydration.
• 1 tbsp honey or maple syrup: a natural sweetener for taste (optional).
• 1 tsp lemon juice: adds extra vitamin C for skin brightness.
Instructions:
prepare the liquid. heat your juice or tea in a small saucepan over medium heat. don’t let it boil; you just want it warm (around 120°F/50°C) to preserve nutrients.
Dissolve the gelatin. slowly sprinkle the gelatin over the warm liquid while whisking continuously. this ensures it dissolves completely without clumping.
sweeten and enhance. stir in honey, lemon juice, and any optional add-ins (like collagen peptides) until fully dissolved.
pour and set. pour the mixture into cute silicone molds or a shallow glass dish. let it cool to room temperature, then refrigerate for 2-3 hours, or until set.
cut or unmold. if you used a dish, slice the gummies bite-sized squares. if you used molds, simply pop the gummies out.
enjoy. store the gummies in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 1 week.
why it works for glowing skin:
• Gelatin (collagen) improves skin elasticity and hydration
• Vitamin C (from orange/lemon juice) helps boost natural collagen production
• Green tea/matcha reduces inflammation and provides antioxidants
ive been loving making these, and I feel like it has improved my skin by a lot (especially my dark circles????), so I felt like sharing this fun little recipe with you guys. <3
my insta @ malusokay
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kbwrites · 7 months ago
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JJK Guys and Pet Names for their S/O
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Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji
⚝tags: f!reader (use of "babygirl" and "princess"), slightly suggestive, mild language,
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Satoru Gojo: Babe, Pretty, Sweets, Pookie
- “Baaaabe, please can we try it? Just once and I swear I won’t ask again!”
- “Hey pretty, transferring you some money right now! Why? Why not?”
- “But sweets! It’s our 14th month anniversary of course we’re going on vacation. I already told your boss to give you off.” 
- ”Pookie don’t be mad! I didn’t know that cake in the fridge was yours. No I didn’t see your name on the box…”
Kento Nanami: Honey, Love, Dear
- ”Hello honey, I’m picking up dinner. Would you like your usual?”
- ”Good Morning love, please make sure to take your vitamins. I left them on the nightstand.”
- ”Yes dear, of course, I’ll marry you. I’m pretty sure we already are, but I’ll do it again for you.”
Suguru Geto: Angel, Baby, Princess
- ”Angel could you please put my hair up for me? Only looks nice when you do it.”
- ”That dress was fucking made for you baby, do me a favor and buy 3 more. You still have my card right?”
- ”I’m sorry I came home late princess, let me make it up to you?”
Toji Fushiguro - Doll, Mama, Baby Girl, Sweetheart
- ”Hey doll, just got paid. How about I take you out tonight?”
- ”Y’alright mama? I wasn’t too rough was I?”
- ”Didn’t mean to worry you, baby girl, m’alright I swear.”
- ”Sweetheart… d’ya really think you could walk around with those fuckin’ shorts on and get away with it?”
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cleverthylacine · 9 months ago
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How do you determine if everyone gets a passing grade if anyone has to drop out of the marathon after being hospitalised? If I had to watch A Serbian Film I'd end up in the ER for sure.
(I'm a pro-shipper with no media literacy problems, but I don't think antis are stabler than me.)
'Irredeemable media' is such a funny concept to me because it's never used for stuff like Birth of a Nation or A Serbian Film. It's always The Owl House or My Hero Academia because these people only watch things for children and can't stand any conflict more complex than Super Mario Brothers.
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venmondiese · 9 days ago
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MELT AN IGLOO
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-ˋˏ| summary: Summer in the south makes the temperature go high, so when your friends say that their cousin's house has a pool, you'll take the chance to refresh yourself... and maybe do more.
✧ | Pairing: Modern!Aemond Targaryen x reader
✧ | word count: 5.8k
✧ | Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, age gap (reader is 20, aemond is 27), P in V sex, Oral sex (F receiving), creampie, reader is a menance... aemond is a perv.
✧ | notes: based on Igloo by Kiss of Life
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Summer was the time of the year where you shined. 
College in Old town was a good option, and you made tons of new friends, including Baela and Rhaena, both twins with different majors. Rhaena studied arts while Baela studied Literature. Though you studied the same thing as Baela, you and Rhaena had more in common. 
You two liked flirting, and giggled when you got a new crush. You were young, and a bit stupid. Whatever, you just turned twenty and life was barely starting with an intense feeling of juvenile freedom. 
While Rhaena settled more for relationships, you were more into casual things. You never paid in clubs as most guys would invite rounds of drinks for you and your friends, and you surely rewarded that behaviour. You got rides from men when you went to parties, and some times, you’d go out on dates. Your friends always joked that you never lacked Vitamin D.
You were from the North, and so the south provided you with more freedom, thanks to you being completely on your own and not on the judging eyes of your surroundings, no one knew you in Old Town. The restrictions previously provided felt something far away now, as your life was different. 
With that, something annoyed that came along with living in the South was the weather. You almost forgot that Old town was so near to Dorne, and the heat was unbelievable.  The hot weather every fucking day, and you couldn’t escape it. No matter what you did, it was impossible to stay away from it. 
Since Rhaena and Baela lived in the same complex of apartments (provided by the university) that you, you three got together to discuss what to do:
Go to the beach. Natural decision, since Old town has beautiful beaches and clear water, and the docks were beautiful. That’s the main issue, if you didn’t get in the right time, all of them where full. 
Install Air Conditioning in your rooms. No, too expensive. 
Go to one of the water parks. It was madly expensive for them to be full of people. }
Go to one of your friend’s apartments that had a pool for the residents. At first it was cool; you went and had a great time. But after a while, it was starting to look as if you three were taking advantage of it. 
After those infallible four ideas, and a week full of high temperatures Rhaena and Baela got an idea. Even if they were raised and bred from one of the most prestigious and rich families, their parents wouldn’t just gift them an apartment, so they rely on the one provided by the scholarship in college. And their family was miles away…
Except their cousin. 
You weren’t exactly sure of their relationship with this cousin of theirs, since they were open about other family members, always with a fond tone. The only thing you had heard is “He is our cousin who lives here in Old Town” and that’s all. 
The background information they give you is that he is twenty seven, finishing his doctorate and giving classes about Valyrian culture or Philosophy in the faculty. When you asked them why they didn’t live with him, they just shrugged and said that he was kind of a lonely dude and they weren’t that close. 
“And he is okay with us… going to his house to use the pool” you say as you three are on the uber to get to the house of this mysterious cousin of theirs.
“I meaaaan…” Rhaena says “We have the key to his place; he gave it to us in case of emergencies.”
“Valid reason. Dying of heat seems like an emergency to me” you shrugged. 
“And besides, we bring ice cream, beer and we bought him a red velvet cake to bribe him” Baela adds with a confident nod. “Just straight out to the pool, and no getting into his stuff and we’ll be okay”
“And he doesn’t have like a… girlfriend” You ask amused. “If you aren’t close, she might think we are robbing the house”
“Yeah, right” Baela chuckles, her eyebrows rising playfully “As if we would steal in our swimsuits”
“Besides he isn’t dating. He isn’t married either”
“I thought you said this dude is old” 
“Twenty six is old but not old old” Rhaena objects, almost meekly.
“We are not going over the Corwyn thing again. He is sixteen years older than you!” Baela reminds her twin
“I am with Garmund now, duh”
The conversation dies when the uber informs you that you have arrived at the sector of Houses where their cousin lives. Even if Rhaena and Baela take some time trying to figure out which key is it to open the house, after a while you were in. 
The house was as if come out of stock. It had some sober colours and one fine painting, but if your friends hadn’t told you otherwise, you would think no one lived here.
As Baela sets the food in the fridge, Rhaena moves the sliding door to the pool. “Nice… I never thought his yard would look this modern.”
“Why?” You ask, setting your thing in one of the chairs nearby as you take off your dress. 
“He is such a nerd for ancient Valyrian stuff. I figured his house had the same style.” 
At least the first hour was calm and at peace. Baela had music at a fair low volume, as you three swam and hanged around, using the floats that the twins brought along, since they were 99% sure that his cousin didn’t have anything fun, like a Bluetooth speaker, floats for the pool or ice cream. 
You weren’t a big fan of beer, not like Baela was, at least. Rhaena and you liked more sweet flavours, but you weren’t going to be picky in this situation. You chat all the time, as you take sun in the reclining chair that was in the yard. Rhaena speaks about her new relationship with Garmund, about meeting his family and her dad’s reaction. Baela instead tells you about her friends of her career, who were clinically insane. 
When it was your turn to speak, the twins’ cousin comes home. 
“I believe I told you the key was for emergencies” He says in an annoyed tone as he turns off the speaker. He was wearing a suit (in this heat…) and you noticed the scar on his left eye. “And it was to keep your mother not freaking out about you two being alone in this part of the continent.”
“Aemond, we are sorry, but it is so hot! We needed somewhere to hang out” Rhaena says, standing up. She was wearing a pink swimsuit, and her hair was beautifully braided. “You wouldn’t have let us come here without an excuse”
“You are right, I wouldn’t” he says crossing his arms. He would obviously refuse. “And why is your little friend here?” He asks raising one eyebrow upon seeing you. 
“Oh, come on, she is our closest friend” Rhaena says. “We won’t trash anything. We won’t put loud music, we won’t enter the house while wet… please, cousin!”
“You are our only family here” Baela adds, not quite begging as Rhaena, but still. “We bought you beers…, and ice cream…. and red velvet… we know you like it”
You see as Aemond roll his eyes. You sit up, pulling your glasses to your head to look at him better. He was hot. Hot with bold, capital letters. He was HOT. He had the same Valyrian features than the twins, but his were sharper and much more distinctive. He wore black and white even in a day this hot and that was commitment, to which you thanked because he looked hotter in a suit and tie. 
He also looked older than you three, obviously, he was six years older than the twins, and seem more mature and serious, if anything a bit stoic and cold, but God damn you if it didn’t make him more attractive. You wanted this man. You wanted this man bad. 
“Fine. You can stay” He agrees reluctantly, a hand on his forehead as a disappointed dad would. Fuck, he is so hot “Don’t do anything stupid. No destroying my house, no destroying my pool, no getting drunk. Am I clear?”
“Yes” both twins say under their breath. 
“And control that little friend of yours” He orders before stepping back inside, leaving you three to it. 
Baela and Rhaena sit by your side, on the other chairs as they sigh. 
“You didn’t mention your cousin was hot” it’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth. 
“Ewww” Baela says scrunching her face. “It’s our cousin!” She says, low so he can’t eavesdrop. “And he is old”
“You say he wasn’t old old” 
“He isn’t that old, Baela”
“Come on, he is Aemond. The guy who used to bring his lizard pet in all family functions, I have never seen him with a girl except with that weird aunt that Jace has… still, never brought her to family functions”
“Yeah, like he is… okay, I guess, but I don’t think a pretty girl like you can take Aemond’s… personality so lightly”
“Yeah, and he looks like he has the weirdest kinks possible”
“He is still hot to me” You say playfully. “Come on. Look. Let’s say… I manage to fuck him” You start your chat, and Baela makes a disgusted sound, but you ignore it “Then he’ll let us use the pool more often. Problem solved, everyone happy”
“You think Aemond would be up for that? Not to be on Baela’s side but Aemond is a bit…” Rhaena leans to whisper the last part. “Cold. Like an igloo… or an Iceberg”
“A man that has sex with you won’t miss a chance to see you with little clothes.” You say it as if reciting wise words. “I lose nothing trying.”
“We might lose the access to this house, mind you” Rhaena says amused. 
“Come on, we’ll even invite Garmund. Isn’t he like Aemond’s cousin?” you ask her.
“Yeah”
“Well, then. I am fucking that man” 
With that, you stand, wrapping a sarong around your hip, and put on your sandals in quite a confident mood as you her Rhaena say to her sister.
“I sure hope the house have thick walls”
You give them a wink before you walk inside. You were pretty dry thanks to the sun, and you usually didn’t swim a lot. Your hair was in a messy bun, slightly wet with some messy strands. 
You want this Aemond guy. You like him. He has that aura of mystery that you like in a man. You liked cold men; they usually were the most sexually frustrated, and therefore, a great fuck, in your opinion.
“Oh, hey...” You say softly, looking at him, sitting on the couch as he held the computer on his lap, a hand resting on his mouth as he was focused on reading some work related stuff or something. “Do you mind if I have a beer…?” you ask nonchalantly. 
“Help yourself” he says dryly, not moving his gaze from the lecture on his computer. “Beer’s on the fridge”
You went to the fridge, and took two cold beers. You silently prayed to get that dick. 
“I brought you one, if you wanted…” You say softly, extending one to him pretending to be clueless.
“I don’t like beer”
“Oh…”
“I’ll have it anyways, darling’.” He says, finally moving his gaze away from the computer. 
He takes a sip, and before he can throw you out to the yard, you say. “I am sorry to… invade your home” 
“It’s fine” He murmurs, turning his eyes to observe you. You do not know what is it that his mind thinks, but you can see his eyes moving along your body, even if they are subtle. “How long have you been their friend?”
“Quite a while, now. Maybe… like two years?”
He nods softly. He isn’t chatty or open. But he doesn’t make you leave either. 
“Are you anything like them?” You look at him with a confused expression, to which he chuckles lowly. “As immature, I mean”
“I am mature for my age, I have been told”
“Oh, so you have, Hun…” He says amused, watching something on the screen of his computer. 
“But, I am like them, I guess. Me and Rhaena are twins” you say smirking proudly. You loved matching with her, clothes, music, sometimes you would make out with a dude and her with his twin. It was great.
“Let me guess, you are into pink, and men just thinks you are so pretty” He says in a mocking tone as he types some things on his computer. It seems effortless to focus at two things in the same time when you are Aemond Targaryen. 
“Well, they do. And I think I am” you say sitting slightly on the armrest of the chair, holding the still closed beer bottle in your hands.
Aemond raises an eyebrow as he types a bit more, and once he finishes, his gaze turns up to see you. He seems…intrigued. Looking at you as if you were a foreign creature on his territory, which, to be fair, you are. 
Yet there is something else on his gaze, which you can with certainty say that it’s lust. When he sees you, as if judging for himself, you think what your next step should be. You look at him with the same intensity, and also sharing the same feelings. He was hot, and totally your type. You liked serious guys, who wore suits and seem over your shit. It was hot, and it made you horny. Sometimes guys were following you around like puppies, but this… Coldness was much more exciting. 
“Well, yes. You are pretty”
“Thank you.” You say simply, seeing how he accomodates the laptop on his lap, his jaw tense. “You are handsome yourself”
“You should get back to your friends before they come inside, all soaking from the pool”
“Oh, they know I am here” you say shrugging, looking intently at him.
“Well, aren’t you a clever girl” 
There was an implication about his tone, the way his hungry gaze looks at you as he closes his laptop. Could you really have made it? You don’t believe it. 
He stands up, his beer almost empty, and he walks past you as he holds it out for you. “Finish it, if you want.”
Perhaps it was a test, as you were still holding your own cold beer bottle. Damn, you don’t even like beer that much. It is a bit bitter, and it leaves the taste on your tongue far too long for your taste. Still, you do not care for that. Whatever, fuck the taste. You grab the beer with a faint, almost too taken aback to come up with something witty or even remotely seductive. 
He goes to his kitchen, and you can see him check the window, to see Baela and Rhaena, probably, before opening his fridge. The open kitchen allowed you to see his every movements as you drink the beer, letting it past without a second  thought, the faster, the better; so the taste isn’t impregnated on your tongue. 
“You have a girlfriend?” you ask, trying to sound disinterested and innocent enough.
“Ha, now you are being cheeky” he mutters closing his fridge leaving the food on the countertop.
“I am just curious…” You say standing up, and walking towards the kitchen. He is half amused, as he scoffs. 
“I don’t.”
“Oh. Good...”
He doesn’t answer. 
You aren’t a silly girl, as most men think you are. You just like to play around, and ‘use them for evil’ as you colourfully put it. And besides, most men that were interested in you were older. You are in pubs, bars and parties. Beaches, and in the houses of your friends, enjoying the parties. You simply don’t go unnoticed, and you don’t mind that, even if men older than you, by more than ten years, approach you with a different pick up line and practically an imminent erection. 
You can’t deny the attention, of course. With Aemond is no different, but this time is you the one approaching him, trying by any way to manage to melt his icy facade, the one who lets out all of his carnal, primitive desires. It seems as his stoicism is stopping him from doing things he’d enjoy. And with that, anything could be what tips him off the edge. 
“Are you that busy?” You ask as he makes himself a cup of coffee. 
“Nothing I can’t handle, but I haven’t had a moment to myself in days”
You watch him make himself a cup of coffee, as you bit your lip softly. You are getting squirmy, not knowing how to go forward. There is something, he is interested but not quite to take a step. And you don’t know how to push it, should you simply pull the strings of your bikini top and wait for the best? Should you just get in your knees and undo his belt? 
“Look, darling’, no offense, but the last thing I need is a pretty girl hanging around me” He says as he sips his coffee, as he moves from his spot, coffee in hand, probably to go back to his laptop. 
Before he can walk past you, you say. “I think you do need a pretty girl around you”
He stops upon hearing your words, dangerously close to you. You look at him, as if the answer was obvious; and for you, it was. You were practically naked on his kitchen, throwing yourself at him and more than willing to be fucked mercilessly by him, however he wants. You wouldn’t reject it, and you think that he knows that too.
“You think so?” He asks, his gaze turning shamelessly down at your lips, and then at your face as his tone is one of pure smugness.
“Yes. And you have one right here now”
Perhaps he knows he shouldn’t. A friend of his cousins, younger than him… yet even if he thinks that, it does not stop him, not after you have been persistent, trying and following him like a puppy. 
One of his hands finds it was to her hip, pressing her closer to him as he lets himself feel you before capturing your lips in a hungry, sloppy kiss. It wasn’t delicate or gentle, but rather raw and full of need – by both parties. You longed this, and this feel like a sweet reward, your body against his as you two share quite the messy kiss, for god knows how long.
Aemond held you in his arms, a bit possessive, if anything. You liked a possessive man, and in Aemond seem like the perfect trait.  As the kiss stop, you lean to press a little kiss on his jaw, and it only serves for him to wrap one of his arms around your waist. 
You let a little moan of satisfaction as you feel his big hand move down to your ass. Your body is pressed against his, and he wastes no time when his hand starts groping your ass, his breath hits your cold shoulder as you bite your lip. 
Gods, he was so hot. You were so into older dudes, and Aemond was a perfect combination of everything you fancied on a man. 
“You really are a cheeky slut, uh?” Aemond asks his voice sultry as he gropes your ass.
“Yes, sir” you say in a sigh, and his hand moves away to spank you hard on the ass. It made you let out a whimper; it was a delicious sting that you loved. 
“Good” he mutters.
You were too horny, and followed him blindly to his room. You know this will be worth it. A good time, a free pass for his pool for you and the twins… and having a good fuck. 
He closes the door of his bedroom, and he sees you sitting on the feet of his bed. 
“You’ll be the death of me” he says, tsking as he undoes his belt, you take off your sandals quickly as well “You little brat”
You bite your lip as you see him. He is infuriated with you, and part of you wonders how it would be if you were his girlfriend. He’d fuck you in the morning, surely, and at the evening when he gets back from work too. Maybe he’d fuck you at night too. 
He’d probably plan dates just to get to fuck you long and hard afterwards, you hated when men did that. But with him? You didn’t mind.  
“Lay back, doll”
You don’t need to be told twice. When you try to take off your bikini, he stops you. 
“I said, lay back” he says again, sternly. He had that inherent scolding tone, the same he used for Baela and Rhaena when he got home. It made you so wet, it was wicked.
He takes off the sarong, and you look at him, biting your lip. “I’m really horny” you whine.
“Hmm…” he hums, moving his hand from your stomach and higher, pulling the top of your bikini up. You could easily take it off, but with clothes on and open… it was hotter. 
He gropes your tits, as he settles between your legs. He seems to enjoy the view of it as well, as he bites his lip and his breath becomes heavy with uncontrollable lust. 
“You body is perfect, princess. But you know that, hm?” He asks, meeting your gaze as you bite your lip. You nod softly, as if coy of that. “Is your pussy as perfect? Hm?” To your silence, he keeps the lustful tone “Shall we see?”
He holds your calves with one hand, and he doesn’t care about removing the panties of your bikini. He pulls it to the side with his other hand, crouching down to be at the same height of your already wet cunt. Gods, you were so wet for him, it was driving you insane. 
He murmurs something you can’t hear completely, before he leans his head closer to your puffy cunt. You feel his breath, and his tongue is what makes you sigh in delight. His tongue delves into your folds, savouring the taste of you. A little sweet, a little bitter. 
The position makes it all more cramped, yet Aemond moves both of his hands to keep your legs just like that, not so tight together, but still. A groan rumbles on his chest, as he laps consistently at your folds. It’s as if he wanted to take his time, yet he was eager for more of your taste. 
“So wet already” He murmurs, his face separating a bit as he leans back to see your pussy. 
Without missing a beat, his mouth is against your dripping sex, as he delights himself. He is making you let out moans, and some pretty embarrassing sounds. You move one of your hands to your mouth, biting your index finger as if to shush your sounds. 
As Aemond focuses his attention on your clit, it had you rolling your eyes, his mouth around it suckling the nub and his hands spreading your legs further to allow him more access. The twins lied when they pictured him like some kind of hermit, because he knew how to eat a pussy.
His tongue swirls around your clit with too much expertise for him only to have had ‘one casual girlfriend’. His thumb moves to your hole, as if stroking it gently, rubbing circles around it but not pushing it inside yet. 
“Wait...” you moan breathlessly, trying to move your legs away from his from grip. “I don’t wanna cum yet”
You definitely can’t wipe the smirk on his face, as he pulls back. His hands pull your thighs together, then to move his right hand to wipe some remnants of your wetness out of his face. 
“You were the one insinuating yourself to me, princess.”
“Just fuck me, please…” You find yourself asking for it, as you look at him. Aemond simply does not let you move your legs, but you are at his mercy in this.
“Oh, I will” He says, standing up as he runs a hand through his hair, messy from the amount of times he's been running it over it and movements of his head when eating her out. 
He pulls your body closer to his, your hips were resting above a pillow, close to the edge of the bed, and you have to re-accommodate the other pillow under your head. 
Totally a pillow princess, but you do not care. 
Aemond undoes his belt, and pulls out his cock. It’s a nice cock, and you can say that confidently, after seeing tons of different ones. His is nice, a nice girth and big as you like. He is groomed enough, he isn’t hairless, but you notice that he does take care of himself, seeing the pale bush at the base of his cock and to his pelvis. You wanted for him to take out his clothes, but since there were still the twins around, it was a better idea to do it with the clothes on. 
You can see how red the tip already is, leaking and almost asking for relief. How you’d suck that cock, starting by suckling the tip and then deep throat the rest of it, probably gagging and choking in the process. Aemond seems like type who likes a girl gagging on his cock. 
And his balls? You would not neglect them either, you’d have them in your mouth, and making sure they don’t go unattended by either your mouth or your hands. Hell, no part of him would go unattended by you at this point, no after the way he eats pussy.
“Ready, princess?” He asks, his stiff cock pressed on your hole, and you nod softly. “No witty words?”
“You are making fun of me” You say, as he moves your legs to be more pressed against your chest. You feel the head of his cock probing into your folds, teasing you.
“I am not, doll”
“Just fuck me” you say, almost impatient. You were on the edge of your orgasm when he ate you out, and you pushed it away to be able to cum in his cock like you wanted to do when you first saw him. “No need of a condom, I am on the pill since forever”
You don’t really need to pursue him any longer, as he positions himself on your entrance and pushes inside little by little.  He tries to be a gentleman, you can notice, but he is holding back still. By how his grip is more than just to keep your legs firm, is more to keep his control, which little by little he is letting it, slip away.
You know a perv man when you see one. Maybe not your most admissible type, but whatever, everyone has a dirty secret. And maybe this was Aemond’s; you know he is a pervert. You don’t know how, which category… you can’t even think when his cock is pushing inside you in such a delicious way.  You just know it.
By the way once he manages to be deep inside you, and he starts to push back to thrust inside you, and the way he mutters curses under his breath. 
“Feel how deep inside it is, darling?” He asks, his tone strained as he bites his lip. 
You can feel it, alright. And you look at him with half lidded eyes, yet you see how he keeps his groans for himself by biting his lip.
“Fuck me hard” you whisper softly. “Don’t think about it. Just do it.” You say, trying to get him just to lose himself up. 
“You have no idea what you are askin–”
“I know exactly what I am talking” you cut him, your voice strained as you feel his cock.  “You don’t think I am a fragile girl still, do you?” 
His chuckle is low, as if he was annoyed. “There it is. Atta girl”
“And” you say as he moves his hips softly, in and out. Your feet curl at the feeling of his girth sliding through your walls, feeling each movement of his cock. “I want you to cum inside me, and feel your cum dripping out of me. Make me feel you for days.”
That seems to have pushed him over the edge. At least, you hope that it did, because you are eager for it. And in your opinion, it did. 
“You are going to be the death of me” With that, his hips pounds into you like a feral animal. 
That’s what he was, feral. He leans slightly more, his face above yours but still not as intimate as missionary should be. Your legs, still held together by his hand, would be all crampy by tomorrow, and he moves them both over his shoulder. Your left calf is resting against the curve of his neck, while your right one was a bit more stubborn, moving to the pointy bone at the edge of his shoulder. His other hand was at the side of head, as his hips just fuck into you as you requested.
His pounding is brutal, and he barely lets you breathe before he pounds again.  The sound of his balls hitting your flesh is obscene, and it is consistent, yet it made you grip his other shoulder, as you let a series of high moans.
“Ah, ah. Fuck…” you moans are loud, hopefully not so much, and your brow furrows in pleasure as his cock reaches all the right spots for you. This man could turn you into his sexual doll and you aren’t quite sure if he knows it yet. “So big inside me…”
“You asked for it, princess” he reminds you, as if reminding himself as well of it. His tone is rough, and he is focused on the tad at hand, fucking you merciless. 
You feel his hips crash on your to each brutal thrust, and the way his balls also does. It was dirty, and so hot that had you whimpering and letting out little squeals. He was definitely leaving you sore, yet it was a delicious stretch from everywhere. 
Your mind is all foggy and practically numb from pleasure, yet it leaves the wicked idea of sucking his cock. The sight had left you wanting more, to choke on that dick. 
You imagine how heavy it would feel on your mouth, how it would leak on your tongue. You’d love to suck him dry with your mouth right now, as he fucks you. Having both would be paradise, yet his cock can only do one at the time.
Instead, you take the hand holding your legs, and you decide to take his thumb in your mouth. His hand cups your face instinctively, and you moan at the feeling of satiating your craving.
“Dirty minx” he mutters seeing your lewd display, yet it has him grunting more. “All of your holes need attention, hm? All of them are equally needy” 
The wet sounds from his thrusting make it all more erotic, as you nod to his words, sucking his thumb for a bit. Your moans and feeling close to your orgasm make you stop sucking it, but enjoy. 
Aemond is enjoying it too, you can see how his face is pure pleasure as he grunts, his hand moving to move you legs lower his shoulders, but he grips on them as if to gain impulse to thrust you.
“Aren’t you close, doll?” He asks, his face leaning closer to yours.
“Yes” you moan, breathlessly, you tone is pathetic, almost like a sob and a whine. “Yes sir” you say, wickedly adding the nickname. 
“That’s it, doll, just like that” he says, close as well. His balls tighten up, and he leans down to capture your lips in another sloppy, messy kiss. 
You moan into his mouth, as the kiss becomes desperate and wetter than it needed to be. Whatever, you think. He fucks you just right. 
His hand falls to spank your ass, as if urging you cum. It does it three times in total, as he doesn’t separate your mouth from his. He was consuming you, and you didn’t care.
Your orgasm is strong, it has you rolling your eyes to the back of your head and twitching your legs from how good it feels. You tried to calm down your moans, but it felt too good to be good. To be fair, when you cummed you weren’t as vocal, but you tended to lose your voice in the middle of it, as if you were lacking the proper air distribution. 
Aemond, on the contrary, when he cums, he says multiple praises “Your cunt is perfect, princess” followed by “Squeezing my cock just right” and “Filling you up, baby, all full”
And he does. You feel his cum settle inside you, and you had to bite your lip as he does so. It was a great feeling, having him cumming inside you so naturally… and raw. 
It was pure, raw feral sex. And you loved it. He was made for this intensity, and you were made to take it as he pleases. 
Even if your legs do hurt a bit, when you lay on his bed, with a blanket atop of you. 
Aemond instead, goes to wash himself a bit. After all, he still has visits, in his pool. He assured you that the house was pretty much soundproof, and your friends would have leave at the first moan they heard. 
“You seem pretty comfortable” his monotone tone says, as he walks out of the bathroom tidier. 
You felt without energy. You could do multiple rounds at a time, sure, but delaying your orgasm plus the roughness of it, plus the previous swimming exercise and the water… makes you lazy. 
“I am” 
“Your friends are waiting downstairs” he says, and now you can see how he is amused at that idea. You had said it, a wicked perv. 
“I know, but I am leaking cum” 
“Hm. Does it stop you?”
“Not much. But I am tired and sleepy”
“I have work to do” he reminds you again, as he makes sure he is all buttoned up and he applies his cologne on himself. It is strong and masculine. 
“Well, I’ll lay here” you say shrugging. To his questioning eyebrow raise, you can only add “I haven’t sucked on your dick yet. I am not leaving anytime soon, you know?” 
To your childness, he rolls his eyes, but ultimately agrees. “I am not telling my cousins a thing about this.”
“I will” you say, waving a hand dismissively. 
“And you can stay, but don’t let this think you have some kind of…”
“I won’t” you say smirking playfully, and he rolls his eyes. 
“You are prettier when you are getting fucked”
“I knoooow” 
When he leaves, you take your phone from the ground and open the text chat.
Guaranteed free pool pass ;) you are welcome bitches.
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fuckingrecipes · 4 months ago
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Cooking question I'm too embarrassed to ask someone IRL: how easy or hard is it to accidentally poison yourself?
I know not to eat things that are too old (past the best-by date, changed color etc), I know not to eat things that were burned. I know to be careful about handling raw meat. I know how to store leftovers. I know to pay attention to instructions on the package and to check if the package is damaged etc.
But at the same time... well, a lot of cooking advice I've seen over the years includes some variation of "try things out, see what you like!" and I'd kind of like to do that. But if the results turn out inedible, I'd like them to be "inedible" as in "tastes very bad" and not "inedible" as in "going to upset your stomach" or "send you to the hospital"
If I try to cook/bake/roast/fry/whatever a food that can be eaten raw, like fruit, what are the odds that the result will be safe to eat?
What about lettuce? I'm aware it would probably taste bad, but would it be safe to try?
If I mix random liquid-y things from my pantry to make a sauce for whatever vegetables&meat I'm frying, what are the odds the result would be safe to eat? (Assuming all the components are edible by themself, I'm NOT talking about cleaning solutions or dish soap or whatever)
What might be some questions I don't even know I should check?
If I try to cook/bake/roast/fry/whatever a food that can be eaten raw, like fruit, what are the odds that the result will be safe to eat? If I mix random liquid-y things from my pantry to make a sauce for whatever vegetables&meat I'm frying, what are the odds the result would be safe to eat?
100% safe. There is a ZERO (0%) percent chance of accidentally creating a poison when cooking a safe-to-eat-raw food item.
You're not going to accidentally create a poison when you mix spices, sauces, or various edible ingredients together.
It's just not how chemistry works. With no exception I can think of, you can't take one safe-to-eat plant or animal and cook it or mix it with another in a way that will create a toxic substance.
Cooking lettuce to eat is safe. Cooking whole fruit is safe. Mixing a hundred sauces together is safe. Go for it.
I could take a sample of every single individually edible item in my fridge, pantry, and spice cabinet, blend it all into a big slurry, cook it & eat a portion of that concoction with confidence that I won't die from it. While it may be gross and taste bad, it won't actually harm me. It won't be a poison, no matter how many different types of food ingredients are tossed into the pot.
I cannot guarantee that you will never upset your stomach, because you could be sensitive to or allergic to an ingredient that I don't know about. It's not a poison to all humans, but it'd be uncomfortable to you. You can only learn about that through experience.
What CAN be dangerous:
Improper sterilization and improper technique can accidentally leave poison-producing bacteria or mold to breed when canning or fermenting foods.
Eating large amounts of a couple specific foods can be risky. There's not a lot of these, so here's a list of the big names to keep an eye on:
Cassia (common) cinnamon has a chemical that is toxic in larger quantities, but harmless in small quantities. If you eat 2 teaspoons a day, every day, you'll run into trouble. If you use Ceylon cinnamon instead, you can eat pretty much as much as you want.
Don't eat a whole nutmeg. It's wonderful when used sparingly, but can be poisonous in large amounts. Same rule as Cassia cinnamon: 2 teaspoons a day, every day, will get you into trouble. Eat less or less often.
Eating too much Liver (the organ) can cause copper toxicity and Vitamin A toxicity. It's great for you when added to a meal once a week, or a couple times a month, but shouldn't be eaten daily or in huge amounts.
Don't swallow cherry pits. They're generally harmless when swallowed whole, because they pass through digestion unscathed, but if they're crushed or cracked open first they release a compound that turns into cyanide when digested. Our body handles cyanide pretty well, but 4-5 cracked pits can become harmful. So: Don't chew them, and don't swallow them on purpose.
There are some foods which need special preparation to be made safe. They're safe COOKED, but not RAW.
Cooked beans & legumes are safe to eat. But if you're starting from a totally DRY bean or lentil (canned are pre-cooked) make sure to soak them in water for several hours and boil until they're FULLY COOKED before you eat. (Fully cooked is when you can crush them easily with a fork, with no gritty or hard center) Undercooked or uncooked beans & legumes can fuck up your guts real good. Very painful, horribly unpleasant, but probably won't kill you.
Cassava (the root vegetable that tapioca is made from) MUST be thoroughly cooked before eating. Raw cassava can be toxic. It's another cyanide bro.
Don't eat raw potatoes - always cook them. If your potatoes have sprouted, don't eat the sprouts & peel any green skin off. Tbh tho, an adult would need to eat at least a pound of green potatoes to get sick. Be reasonably cautious about it. Don't feed green potatoes to small children.
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Note: This advice is intended for someone who shops at a grocery for their food, not someone who is foraging for ingredients or is growing their own. There's a lot more opportunities to poison yourself when working with whole plants in the wild, and not the prepared-for-sale ones at a store.
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