#Tommy isn’t evil he’s just confused

[suspiciouslackofclowns]

Thinking of a modern frat Harringroveson au with chubby!Billy, because he’s my favorite, and a scenario that’s similar to that one tumblr(?) post about the girl who lost her keys at a frat party, if anyone knows what I’m talking about.

Specifically the part where she wanders around the house looking the morning after, and no one is particularly helpful until she runs into a guy who sends a text to the group chat with a description of the keys, and suddenly like twenty of them spring into action like soldiers and find her keys in less than a minute?

It’s peak boys will be boys and I love it so much.

So I’m thinking about Billy, Eddie, and Steve being in a frat. Particularly one of the larger ones, so the house is roomy and kind of daunting when first stepping into the foyer.

Steve is taking an exam and he, very miserably, let it be known that he would be gone for most of the afternoon, seeing as his next couple classes were nearly back to back after his test. So, he’s out of the house all day, and Eddie takes the opportunity to have a scary movie marathon with Billy.

Because they might as well do something other than sit around and wait for him to come home, and why not watch something creepy? Steve hates scary movies, so it only makes sense.

The house isn’t buzzing with activity at two in the afternoon on a weekday, so the couple settle into the living room. Have some popcorn, get comfy on the sofa, light a fall-scented candle to match the cooling temperature outside, and it’s perfect.

Until Tommy (I’m picking on him this time, sorry) meanders in about halfway through The Fly.

Maybe it’s a running bit in the house, something born of affection, that it’s acceptable to poke fun at Billy for his size. He’s one of the bigger guys, in every sense, and he gets easily flustered, so he’s teased a lot. They chant his name when he does keg chugs at parties, and they even call him The Tank.

Partly because he can put a lot away, and partly because he’ll do some serious damage if he decides to throw down.

Maybe Tommy takes the joke too far. Instead of giving Billy a pat on the back and calling him big guy, be calls him lardass. Maybe he comments a little too much on Billy’s eating habits, trying to get some kind of rise out of him.

While Billy used to get pissed, used to get in his face and promise to kick his ass before someone intervened, he just gets… uncomfortable now. Usually whenever Tommy enters a room, before he even opens his mouth.

Like right now.

Eddie has his arm around Billy’s shoulders, cradling him against his side, fingers tip-tapping against the blond’s bicep as he noses a kiss into his hair.

“This sweater’s real cute on you,” he murmurs. Billy hums appreciatively, and Eddie smiles as he digs his hand into the bowl of popcorn in his lap. “My cute little muncher.”

A door closes in the close distance, and suddenly Billy goes a bit rigid where he leans against Eddie’s shoulder.

Tommy pads into the room, hands on his hips as he glances between the tv and the couple sitting on the couch. Spreads an amused little smirk, eyes tracing up and down the scene.

“No Steve today?” he wonders. Eddie shakes his head and turns his focus back to the movie. “And did you just call him little?”

The freckled brunet snorts, and Eddie huffs a groan and lolls his head back.

“Can you leave, please? Crawl back into whatever hole you spawned from?”

“Hey, this is the communal living room, I can come in here if I want.” Tommy plops down in the recliner and cocks his head to the side. “You didn’t answer my question.”

Eddie lifts his head again, brows drawn together as he shifts to fish his phone out of his pocket after he pauses the movie. He rubs up and down Billy’s arm where his hand is still resting, and taps on his screen.

“I’m trying to watch a movie with my boyfriend, Hagan. He’s never seen The Fly, and we’re on kind of a schedule ‘cause we have to finish both movies before Stevie gets home,” Eddie says. “I’d say I wouldn’t mind if you watched and just kept your trap shut, but I’d really rather you just leave.”

“So you’re saying I can’t come into the living room in my own house? What would El Presidente think of that?”

Tommy clicks his tongue. Billy shifts when his eyes fix on him.

“I’m saying you make my boyfriend uncomfortable, and I’m saying you should fuck off about it.”

“I make him uncomfortable? I can hardly go anywhere in this place without seeing some kind of perverse display.”

Eddie quirks a brow.

“Perverse display?”

“Well, yeah.” Tommy crosses his arms, and it’s remarkably bratty. “You guys are always feeling him up, or sucking face, and he’s always pigging out. You don’t see how that could be disturbing?”

There’s a beat of silence. Eddie’s mouth pinches into a line when he notices the tinge of red in Billy’s expression. Notices how he leans closer, making himself smaller, and how out of character that is.

Eddie wants to rattle off an insult about how Tommy’s hair is always a mess, his room is filthy, and point out that his girlfriend has been cheating on him since the dawn of time. He wants to tell him how fragile he is if he thinks that two people sharing a kiss is obscene, or that snacking on popcorn is pigging out.

Eddie wants to say all of it so bad, but instead, he types briefly, and hits send.

Instantly, both Billy and Tommy’s phones buzz, and they both pull them out of their pockets. To Tommy’s horror, it’s a notification from the group chat. A voice note with a text attached to it.

Trying to watch a movie and this fuckhead Hagan can’t decide between being fatphobic or homophobic. I think we’ll start looking for an apartment so we can watch movies in peace.

It takes merely seconds for messages to start rolling in. Everything varying from what the fuck to hell no to questioning if the text is genuine, and if Eddie is serious about moving out. Eddie grins, and briefly hopes that Steve remembered to silence his phone before his exam.

Then, Tommy’s phone starts vibrating with a call. His eyes go wide, and he swallows before answering.

Eddie bites back on a laugh, knowing that only one person besides Steve has yet to have texted back.

“Hello?” Tommy answers.

He cringes briefly, and nods to himself as he pulls his phone away from his ear, and taps the screen.

“Am I on speaker, dipshit?” Jason asks.

“Yes.”

Tommy’s voice is suddenly timid, face hot with shame, and Eddie presses his lips together when a laugh threatens to sputter out.

Over the phone, Jason sighs.

“Hey, Bill? Edd? Can you guys hear me?”

Eddie clears his throat and exhales a calming sigh.

“Sir, yes sir.”

“Good.” There’s some static and some shuffling over the line. “You okay, Billy?”

For a moment, the blond is quiet, but he relaxes a bit when Eddie gives him a soft squeeze.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says.

“Cool. I’m kinda caught between classes right now or I’d deal with it myself, but I promise it’ll still be handled. I’m really sorry you guys had to put up with this, so I’ll have a couple pizzas sent to the house.”

Eddie nods in approval.

“We appreciate you, boss man,” he says.

“Alright, I’ll let you guys get back to your movie. Hagan, I hope you have street clothes on.”

Then, Jason hangs up. Things are quiet for a moment. Anticipation is thick in the air, and then there’s a new message in the group chat from El Presidente.

Hagan is excommunicado, effective immediately.

Eddie snorts when not a single text rolls through after that, but there’s the sound of movement upstairs.

“John Wick,” Billy murmurs, nodding. “Nice.”

There’s footsteps. Heavy scraping. Tommy stands up from his seat, ready to bolt upstairs to see what the commotion is, but he doesn’t make it further than the base of the stairs before the noise and voices get louder.

Then, things come flying down the steps, and Tommy barely jumps out of the way.

Armfuls of clothes, shoes, a backpack. Tommy’s eyes blow so wide Eddie thinks they might pop out of his head.

The mattress is next, with the sheets still on, and then figures come into view. Argyle and Jonathan carrying a dresser down the stairs in nothing but their socks and underwear, full drawers threatening to slide out and spill clothes everywhere. Patrick is right behind them with a nightstand in his grasp, alarm clock and bong still resting on top. More voices follow, and more and more comes tumbling down the stairs.

Nothing is moved carefully. Wooden legs are skidded across the floor, corners are banged against the guard rail and doorframe, and Tommy’s laptop is thrown like a frisbee out onto the concrete walkway.

It’s beautiful, Eddie thinks, how fast the pile of trash and other belongings accumulates, and how he counts probably fifteen heads as the guys dump everything out into the front yard. They wail at Tommy as they pass, booing and poking and some even pinching him before the guys all disperse like roaches when the light flicks on.

A few pass by the sofa, offering condolences like they’re at a funeral, and Argyle even tousles Billy’s hair before he disappears.

Tommy is left standing there, staring through the open doorway at his entire existence spread out on the ground in front of him. Eddie snorts when he sees the tiny Tommy Hagan has been removed from group notice appear in the bottom of the chat, followed by a plethora of saluting emojis.

He ropes Billy closer into his side and kisses his hair, shutting his phone off.

“You gonna be hungry for pizza?” he murmurs.

Billy tilts his head up to look at him, eyes glassy, and chews his lip.

“Mhmm,” he hums. “You think Stevie’s gonna be stressed when he checks his phone?”

He closes his eyes when Eddie squeezes him and presses a kiss to his forehead. Relaxes into the embrace when the front door shuts.

“I’ll send him a picture when the pizza gets here so he knows you’re okay.”

“Why wait ‘til the pizza gets here?” Billy muses.

He hums a laugh and turns further into Eddie, tucking his face in the crook of his neck and smoothing his hand over his chest. The brunet sighs comfortably as he feels around his lap for the remote, and traces shapes against Billy’s bicep with his free hand.

“‘Cause the only thing cuter than you in your comfy sweater is you having a snack in your comfy sweater.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm. Don’t want him to miss out on it.”

Eddie smiles as he presses play, and Billy chuckles into his neck.

“Me neither.”

[scarisd3ad]

Jump then fall | Steve Harrington x reader

Chapter one - everything has changed

Masterlist

Taglist

Previous >> next

Summary - after 7 years of being split apart from your childhood friend Steve you return to hawkins after your younger sisters tragic death, and parents messy divorce. But the Steve you came back to isn’t the same Steve you left behind.

"Steve!" Steve was surrounded by two of his new friends, Tommy and his girlfriend Carol, as I skipped up to him. They were both in 8th grade like Steve. carol looked me up and down as I stood in front of the trio. Steve had an annoyed look on his face from the moment I opened my mouth. Ever since he became friends with Tommy and Carol, it seemed as if I was just another inconvenience for Steve. "What?" the words are harsh as they come out of his mouth, almost like he was stabbing me right in the heart. But despite the achy feeling in my chest, I continued to talk. "wanna come over after school? My dad is working, so he won-"

"God, you are so annoying," Steve scoffs, which makes my brow furrow together in confusion. Steve has been a sweet boy ever since the moment I met him in kindergarten, but the moment he entered the 8th grade it was like a switch flipped inside of him. He no longer cared about his mother or his real friends he only care about popularity, girls, and being an absolute asshole to everyone around him. "Wh-what?" the words come out quiet and meek, the confusion still setting in as my eyes flicked from him to Tommy and then to Carol. Both his friends chuckled, probably because of the tears pooling in my eyes. "I said, you are fucking annoying! can't you go find someone else to cling onto?"

It seemed like time had stopped. Everyone around us stared, some laughed, and some whispered. Was I sent into a parallel universe because this wasn't the Steve I had grown to know? My chest heaved as I blinked back tears. "I-I'm sorry I thought-I thought-" I couldn't get the words out fast enough because Steve was shouting again before I could finish my sentence. "What that I was, your friend? I only hung out with you 'cause I felt bad that your sister died" This wasn't about Sara. He didn't need to bring her up. He knew it was a sore subject. The wound was still fresh. He knew it was still fresh. This felt like he was sticking a knife into that barely healed wound.

I want to punch him; I want to tackle him down to the ground and kill him just because he brought up my sister. "Your mom didn't even like you, so why should I? She dodged a bullet, leaving you." Maybe it was my mind making it up, but it felt like everyone around me was cackling at his words, at my tears, at my fists clenching and unclenching themselves. it hurt, it hurt so bad because I trusted him. I thought he was my best friend, but he wasn't. he was an evil lying bitch.

Before he can say anything else, I'm running away. I ran out of the school and to the group of telephones that stood outside against the school. I immediately punched in my father's work number as heavy sobs racked through my body. The phone rang a good three times before the secretary, Flo, answered the call.

"Hello, this is Hawkins police station. My name is Flo. How may I help you?" Flo was an older lady with dark hair and big, round glasses that sat on the brim of her nose. I sniffled before wiping my eyes. "He-hey Flo, can I talk to my dad?" I asked. Flo must've not noticed I was crying because she instantly transferred me to my father. The phone rang once before my dad answered, "Yeah what ya need?" Dad asks, "Da-daddy can you-you come get me?" I asked through sobs. I could almost hear the confusion in his voice as he asked, "What's wrong? What happened?" I don't answer due to the sobs that continue to erupt from my body. My brain was asking the same question repeatedly. Why would he do that to me? I thought we were friends. "I-I-please Dad," he grumbles quietly, "alright I'll be there in a few minutes."

I stood on the sidewalk with my arms wrapped around my body, waiting. Tears were still streaming down my cheeks when my dad's blazer pulled up beside me. I quickly get into the car, throwing my backpack in the back seat, and slamming the door shut before curling up in a ball, leaning my head against the glass. My father didn't immediately begin driving, instead deciding to interrogate me. "What happened? Did someone say something to you?"

"Steve," I whispered as more tears fell down my cheek. "Wh-what'd he do?" he asked, brows curling into a furrow. Dad knew Steve as a sweet boy, not someone who could ever hurt me. "He-he said...said I was annoying a-a-and that I was clingy." I said through sobs "And he-he said he was only my friend because he fe-felt bad because Sara die-died, that, m-mom didn't like me so why should he, a-and that she do-dodged a bullet leaving." His blood was boiling, I could tell. His face turned red, and he clenched his fists. Before I could even ask him what he was doing, he was already out of the car and halfway towards the front door. 

-

I wasn't a total nerd or loser. I was just normal, but I wasn't a Heather or a Carol. I was just me. I wasn't even the attractive type of normal person like Nancy Wheeler. I was just average. I was standing at my locker waiting for my friend Stephanie. We always met up at my locker before walking to English. Steph was popular. Sometimes I ask myself how I scored a friend like her. She was beautiful and kind. Everybody liked her and everybody had a reason why. The boys liked her because she was pretty, and the girls liked her because she was kinder than the other popular girls. Her curly hair bounced as she sauntered up to me. Her lips formed in a sweet smile as her hands pressed against her hips.

Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and a green bow was placed in her hair to match her green cheerleading uniform. "You coming to the game tonight?" she asked as she leaned her body against the locker next to me. "Maybe I Dunno. I have a lot of homework tonight," I whisper. I'm momentarily distracted by Steve walking by with his arm around his new plaything, Lisa Franklin, a cheerleader like Steph, but unlike Steph, Lisa was an absolute bitch. Despite the hurtful things Steve Harrington said to me, my crush on him never completely disappeared. Sometimes it felt like it was hidden away, but it was always there, simmering beneath the surface. 

Whenever I saw him walk by or heard him speak in any of our shared classes, my heart would skip a beat and my feelings for him would come flooding back. It was frustrating and confusing, but I couldn't help the way I felt. I feel two arms wrapping around my body, drawing my attention away from Steve. I glance over and see that it's Shawn Peterson. My relationship with Shawn is a bit complicated. We do things that most people in a romantic relationship do, but we don't use labels because he 'doesn't like labels'.

Shawn's a football player who's popular enough to be kind of friends with Steve. His hair is a dark, chocolate brown that falls in natural waves, framing a face that is both masculine and handsome. But it's his stunning brown eyes that steal the show, sparkling with an intensity that could make any girl weak in the knees. "So, you coming tonight?" he asks as he presses a kiss to my neck. I shrug my shoulders. "Maybe still Dunno though," I whisper. He groans as he presses a kiss just below my ear. "c'mon my parents aren't home tonight; we can go to mine afterward," I hum as I turn so I'm facing him. If I go, I have to tell my dad I'm at Steph's house and if I do that, I have the risk of him calling her parents to verify.

despite the risks, I smile up at him and whisper, "yeah okay sure." 

-

I sat on the bleachers watching as Steph cheered. my hands were buried deep into my pockets as I zoned out. No matter how much I loved Steph and Shawn, I'll always find high school football games a little boring. I didn't understand football and no matter how many times Shawn tried explaining it to me, I always left the conversation a little more confused than I was before. I feel someone sit down beside me, but I don't care enough to look to see who it is.

"hey," an all too familiar voice whispers. That makes me look up because I haven't heard that voice talking to me in years. Steve Harrington sat next to me, dressed in the same outfit he had been wearing at school earlier that day. I couldn't stop my heart from beating a mile a minute, and my hands beginning to shake. I can't tell if I'm nervous because I'm scared or because I have feelings for him. "What?" I mutter back, my voice a little harsher than I expected. Despite the fact he had been so mean to me back in 7th grade, I never wanted to be mean back. I couldn't get myself to do it.

"You here for Shawn?" Steve asks, his left hand tapping away at the metal bench. I nod replying "Yup" he hums as he nods awkwardly "Sooo...is he your y'know boyfriend?" I shrug "It's complicated..." he nods, a quiet hum coming from his lips. Why did he want to talk now? He hasn't talked to me in 3 years, but now randomly he wants to talk like nothing ever happened, like he never whispered to his friends when I walked by or spread rumors about me. "Why are you talking to me?" I ask brows curling in confusion as I stare up at him.

"wh-oh I-I just wanted to talk," he mutters back. he didn't want to talk for years before this, so why'd he want to talk now? After everything he's done to me, why now? I'm silent as I search his face for any signs that he's messing with me. But there's nothing, not a smirk, or some type of glint in his eyes, just brows furrowed together in confusion. I decided to look around to see if any of his friends were nearby snickering to themselves, but still, I didn't see any of them.

"wh-what are you looking for?" he asks. I quickly pivot my body towards him again. "Are you fucking with me again Steve?" he lets out a shocked little gasp before hurling into saying "No, no I'm not I just thought we could talk y'know since we haven't in a while" That infuriates me because he knows damn well why we aren't talking. "You know why we haven't talked in a while," I mutter as I scoot away from him. "c'mon y/n that was so long ago," he says, elongating the 'o' at the end of ago. I scoff rolling my eyes. "Yeah fuck you," I say as I scoot away from him a little more. He sighs defeated before asking, "How's your dad?" I shrug, muttering a quiet "fine," he nods awkwardly "You still live in the same house?" I shake my head. "No, moved a few years back."

We sit awkwardly, both of us not speaking as the football team comes running out on the field. Most of the people around us roar in applause and shouts of excitement, including Steve. he stands to his feet clapping before cupping his hands together in front of his mouth and shouting "Yeahhh Shawn!!" I cringe a little inside. Steve, like every other popular guy and athlete at the school, were filled with so much school spirit it made me physically cringe. he sat back down looking at me, as I stared at my feet trying to hold back laughter. "What?" a smile cracks to his lips as I let out a few quiet giggles. "Nothing...nothing" he laughs, and for a few quick minutes our old dynamic came back.

"Seriously? C'mon, what?" cover my mouth with my hand as I continue to laugh. I shake my head, refusing to say anything as our laughter dies down. And just like that, we were back to two estranged friends who hadn't held a conversation for more than 2 minutes for the past 3 years, almost. "y'know your dad punched me that day?" I look up at him, brows furrowing as I whisper a quiet "What?"

"He punched me when I was in eighth grade. " It all comes back, my father storming into the school after admitting to him what Steve had said to me. "good" I wouldn't normally expect my father, a grown man, to punch a 13-year-old, but in that instance, I don't blame him. If I was him and a guy like Steve had told my daughter the things Steve had told to me, I would've done more than just punched him. Steve laughs almost as if he was agreeing with me "Yeah...I was an asshole" I roll my eyes, was? Steve Harrington was still an asshole. "still" I say correcting him. Now it's his turn to ask "What?" I roll my eyes yet again as I say, "You're still an asshole", he frowns as he nods slowly "Yeah...I guess" At least he could admit it. 

-

Once the game ended, I bid Steve a quiet goodbye and went to the parking lot. I wait by Shawn's car for about 10 minutes until I see Shawn walking towards it, duffle bag swung over his shoulder, and hair damp. Steve walked next to him, both chatting about who knows what. Shawn drops his bag onto the hood of his car before scooping me up into a kiss.

Returning his kiss, I wrap my arms around his neck. I try to enjoy the kiss, but unfortunately, I can't because I can practically feel Steve's glare. I pull away, eyes meeting with Steve's. His brows are knitted together in an angry, or jealous type of furrow, and his arms are crossed over his chest. "You did so good out there," I say, pretending like I wasn't zoning out every 10 seconds. "mhm" Shawn hums before pressing his lips back against mine.

Steve clears his throat, making Shawn and I pull apart yet again. "well I'm gonna go. "See ya later, dude... um, nice talking to you again, y/n," Steve says before he starts walking towards his BMW, that was parked a few cars down.

The drive to Shawn's house is short and quiet. The only noise present is the low hum of the radio, and our breathing. When we get into his room, his hands are almost immediately all over my body. His lips touch mine, and his hands slide up and down the sides of my body before deciding to rest comfortably against my hips. The room is already somehow hot, and we're both out of breath when the sound of the phone (which sat on his nightstand) begins to ring.

BRINGGGG, BRINGGGG, BRINGGGG.

The sound of the phones rings is shrill and cuts through the quiet house like a knife. Shawn groans before pulling away from me. He crawls up his bed before answering the phone. Leaning against the headboard, he says, "Hello?"" in a very annoyed tone. "Oh, hey dude...no you weren't interrupting anything." the last bit drips in sarcasm as he says it.

"Yeah...yeah she's here, what'dya need?" I know he's talking about me because no one else is here, but I don't have a clue about who he's talking to. His brows furrow in confusion as the muffled sound of the other person talking comes out of the receiver. Then he scoffs as he shakes his head. "No, I'm not gonna do that sorry Steve." Steve? Why would Steve be asking about me? "Dude, you can't just ask me to do that" Shawn's eyes flick over to me before he whispers "I've gotta go alright? yeah, yeah, see you later." Shawn says before hanging up the phone.

"What was that about?" I ask. He hums quietly before hesitantly saying "Um...he just wanted to ask me if he could copy my homework" My brows furrow. There's no way Shawn would have made a big deal out of copying homework. They always copied each other work, so there was no way that's what Steve had asked. There was no world in which Shawn would have answered like that to needing to copy his homework.

As I press my hands into the soft cushion of Shawn's mattress, I sigh and whisper, "I should go... my dad's gonna be pissed if he finds out I stayed out late." Shawn nods before asking "Need a ride?" I nod, pushing myself up off the mattress and to my feet. "Yeah, but drop me off a few miles out. Don't need my dad knowing you're there."

A few years back, after my father's divorce was settled, and I was adjusted in school, my father sold our old family house. Claiming there were too many bad memories there, then he promptly moved us out to a cabin in the woods, much to 12-year-old Me's dismay. The cabin had supposedly been my grandfather's. his father, aka my grandfather, skipped out on the 'wondrous' opportunity to live in the shithole, so it had been abandoned for years since my great-grandfather died. It's a shitty log cabin, two beds and one bath that sat in the middle of the woods.

I hate being at that place alone. The doors creek, and the trees around it whistle with every gust of wind. I swear I'm going to be murdered one day in it and it'll be all Dad's fault for moving us out there. I didn't know why he couldn't have just moved us into some moderately shitty apartment or even keep us at the old house. 

-

Shawn's car slowly drives down a dirt road in the middle of the woods. His high beams shining ahead of us to make sure there wasn't some animal (or person) in our way. About halfway towards my house, Shawn stops the car. From there, it would be about a 10-minute walk up to the house. "I can walk you up there if you want me to," he says, his voice quiet as if he thought my father would somehow hear him all the way out here. "No, I'm fine...but thanks anyway. See you on Monday," I say as I push open the car door. I sling my bag over my shoulder as I begin the walk towards my house. Shawn waits until I'm out of sight from his car to turn around and it's the 5-minute drive back to the main road.

I arrive at my bedroom window. I don't even notice my dad stood leaned up against the door frame until I'm fully inside my room. I'm left staring at my father, who has his arms crossed over his chest, angrily glaring at me. "WHERE THE HELL WHERE YOU?" my mouth gaped open as I began to say something but decided it was better not to. "GO ON TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU WHERE" I let out a groan as I matched my father cross my arms over my chest "I was at the football game," I say with an eye-roll as I toss my backpack on my bed.

He scoffs "THE FOOTBALL GAME ENDED AT 8:30 SO TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK YOU'VE BEEN FOR THE LAST 2 HOURS!" his voice echoes through my room as I begin to talk, "God you're being so dramatic. A few friends and I went to Shawn's to celebrate after the game." his face is red, and his fists clench and unclench before he begins to shout again. "YEAH, WE'LL SINCE YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO FUCKING PICK UP A PHONE AND TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE I DON'T WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE FOR THE NEXT TWO DAYS!" my eyes widen as I shout "What! that's not fair! I'm babysitting this weekend!"

"well, you're going to call whoever you're babysitting for this weekend and tell them that you can't make it anymore, and I don't want you using this phone this weekend either," he says as he goes to unplug the phone from the wall. I let out a loud dramatic "ugh!" which is then followed by me shouting "I hate you!"

As he walks out of the room he says, "Yeah well I fucking hate you too" I dramatically sit down on my bed before shouting again "You're such a fucking asshole!" he turns brows furrowing as he says, "What did you just call me", I'm not scared of him, I never have. He thinks I am, but I never will. "I said you're a fucking asshole," I repeat as my arms cross over my chest. He scoffs as he says, "I'll show you how much of an asshole I can be" before slamming my bedroom door behind him. 

I sit on my bed, arms crossed like a bratty toddler as tears pricked in my eyes. it wasn't fair. I've gotten home late a handful of times and he never gotten angry any of those times, why did he always pick and choose when he wanted to blow up? I wonder what it would be like right now if I was still in New York with my mother. would she be blowing up on me right now too? would she be cool about things like this? or was she strict? but I guess I'll never know because she gave up on me and our family.

I feel bad after fighting with him, I always feel bad. I know deep down he loves me; he just doesn't really know how to show it anymore. I crave that fatherly love that gets rationed out from time to time. I think that's why we fight so much; I crave the affection; he doesn't know how to show it. when he's not working, he sits on his chair, or in his bedroom practically in a catatonic state staring at the tv or a wall, we eat dinner in our separate rooms we don't talk unless we're screaming at each other, or I've got my head laid in his lap as I profusely apologize for what had happened. we're both traumatized i know that we both lost so much, but he should at least try. he knows I don't have any other parental figures in my life, and he still chooses to be distant and cold.

I sigh arms falling to my sides, pressing against my soft mattress. sometimes in the spur of the moment I wish he had died, and I know he thinks the same about me. I always feel bad afterwards though. even though I live with him, I don't know my father at all, he's a stranger to me. the only time we feel like father and daughter is when he's bossing me around. it's absolutely bazar that I feel the same way about my father that I do my absent mother. it's actually like they're both absent in their own ways, dad emotionally, and mom physically. he totally gave up after sara died, I mourn my father in the same way i mourn my dead sister. I just want the old him back, the dad who chased us around the park, and took us out for ice cream, the dad who never even thought to yell at me even if i had stollen a car.

I just want him back.

-

Taglist

@sheisjoeschateau @nothankyou138 @gleefulleve @luluw-20 @skrzydlak @halflifejess @natalie-flo @castleallherown

[altrodent]

Bathroom Confessions

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Mentions of drugs, injections, blood, injuries, OD, and sick. Use of Y/N. Mentions of Steve x Nancy

Summary: After escaping from the grasp of evil Russians, Steve has some confessing to do after a high-induced sick

(A/N): This one isn’t my favorite, but I’m trying to make as many fics as I can before I hit another block. I hope you enjoy! 🩷

In this moment, you were one of the “Scoops-Troop” that wasn’t drugged and beat up by Russians. Currently you were forced, per usual, to babysit the kids. Also known as “let your friends wander while you have to take responsibility.” You didn’t mind though, knowing you got to see at least a tiny bit of “Back To The Future” for free. Dustin kept looking at the entrance of the theater, worried. “They’re fine, Dustin, they’re adults” you said, “Yeah, they’re high adults, and we’re not entirely clear right now” Erica rolled her eyes “I’m sure they’re fine”

Meanwhile, in the decently clean movie theatre restroom, Robin and Steve had gotten too distracted by the moving lights, and had gotten way too sick. After puking up whatever was left in their bodies, they weakly rested on the floor of their separate stalls. Robin ran a hand through her hair, before finally speaking “Have you… ever been in love?” Steve sighs “I was… I think I still am.” Robin taps her foot on the floor “Are you still in love with Nancy?” Steve scoffs “No.” Robin tilted her head “Why not?”Steve purses his lips “I think I found someone better for me…” The blonde’s interest peaks “Oh?” Steve smiles to himself “and it’s crazy, ‘cause I’ve known them for so long, but the way they make me feel is the same way Dustin said I should.” Steve plays with a certain bracelet this special someone had made for him wink wink.

“Ever since Dustin got back from camp, all he’s been telling me was ‘You gotta find your Suzie, you gotta find your Suzie’-“ Robin cuts in “Wait- who’s Suzie?” Steve groans “His little camp girlfriend I guess? To be honest, I don’t even think she’s real. That’s not the point though, you know, the point is… the person I like is someone I would talk to almost everyday. They were there even when I was a huge douche… they were there even when I was with Nancy.” Pressing his hand into the side of his head, Steve thought aloud “I think the only thing that stopped me from telling them was popularity… ‘maybe Tommy H would’ve thought I was weird’, it’s just- just stupid, you know?” Robins face grimaced, trying to figure out who Steve’s talking about, and praying it’s not herself. “Just, this summer, getting closer to them has made me laugh harder than I’ve laughed in years. Smile more than I’ve smiled in so so so so long.” Actively cringing, Robin starts to believe that he is actually talking about her“They’re just cool, you know? They’re just super tough on the outside, but usually always super annoyed to the point it’s almost cute”

After a long slur of silence, Steve knocks in the stall wall “Robin?” Followed by more silence “Did you OD in there?” She sits up a bit “No… I am still alive.” Steve slides under the stall wall, making his way into the other opened stall. “The floor is disgusting” said Robin, “Well, I am already covered in blood and vomit so…” He nods to himself “Well, what do you think?” She looks at him confused “About?” He rests his hand on his knee“The person” Robin turns tense “They sound awesome” His confidence grows “They are super awesome, how about the guy?” She smiles “I think he’s on drugs and isn’t thinking straight” he shrugs “Well I think he’s thinking more clearly than usual” Robins smile faded “He’s not… Look, he doesn’t even know them. And if he really knew them like- like really knew them, he wouldn’t even want to be their friend” He leans forward against his knees “Uh- yeah I think he would, cause he knows them pretty damn well” Robin interrupts “Steve look- it shocked me to my core but I like you, I really like you, but I’m not like your friends.” Steve’s brows furrow “And I’m not like Nancy wheeler-” “What? Yeah- I know, that’s why I like you too Robin but- what are you talking about?” Robin rolls her eyes “I know you’re talking about me, Steve” Steve shakes his head, eyes widened with shock “What?!” Robin sits up a bit “Steve, I don’t romantically like men” Steve waves his hands in her face “Robin! It’s not you! You don’t need to tell me what you’re into also, I really don’t mind what you’re into.”

Robins eyes look like they’re about to explode out of her head “It’s not me- then who is it? You spent your entire summer with them, you’ve known them for a while, you didn’t think your friends would like them- oh… it’s (Y/N).” “Yes!!” “Oh my god this changes everything.” Steve face palms. Robin stands up “I mean I could tell but, you know- wait you haven’t told them yet?” Steve nods with an annoyed look on his face “No, I haven’t told them yet.” Robin blinks slowly “I swear, it feels like you guys are already in a relationship, I’m surprised they aren’t in here now looking for you.” Steve’s brow lifts “What do you mean?” Robin kneels down in front of Steve and shakes his shoulders “Earth to dummy! They like you too!” Steve shakes his head “No they don’t… do they?” Robin rolls her eyes and walks out of the bathroom. “Do they?!” Steve yells before Robin exits. Steve slowly gets up and heads out, to only be met with you checking up on Robin.

You almost immediately get distracted by Steve, what’s not to get lost in? His beautiful eyes, his luxurious hair… Robin catches your and Steve’s eye contact and makes it her turn to check on Dustin and Erica. Robin mouthing ‘tell her!’ To Steve when she passes you. Steve clears his throat as you step up to him “god, those Russians really did a number on you, huh?” You chuckle softly as Steve puts his hands on his hips “oh, ha ha, you weren’t even there, you were with the two idiots running around.” You roll your eyes “We did kinda save your asses though, so I guess we’re even.” Steve shrugs, cheeks warming. “Come on, zombie, let’s get you cleaned up.” You take him by the arm and drag him into the bathroom, you begin to dampen a towel before he speaks “for what it worth… I’m glad you’re okay.” You pause for a second, you and Steve have always been buddy-buddy, and would always make playful jabs at each other, but the way he said it was so caring so genuine, it really touched you. You smile at him, looking into his eyes “I’m glad you’re okay, I mean, you were the one who got quite literally tortured” you let out an exhausted laugh. Steve sighs, “They basically ruined my best feature too…” he tuts looking at his bruised and bloodied face in the mirror.

You turn his head back to you as you begin to gently clean his face “I don’t think it’s that bad, you still look just as good as before.” Steve delicately gazes down at you as you clean him up “So you think I look good?” He raises a brow, a cheeky smirk appearing on his face. Rolling your eyes, you wash out the bloody rag. “Don’t make me repeat myself, Harrington, I’m being nice right now, it’s a rare occasion!” He chuckles softly “Whatever you say, baby” your cheeks turn a bright red, as you look at Steve befuddled. He laughs softly “Oh, ha-ha, very funny Steve.” He puts his hands up in defense “What did I do? Just calling you what you are.” Your mouth drops in shock “You’re so rude, Harrington” you give him a slight glare. “yeah, I’m rude, I know. You’re my baby though…” Steve smiles warmly, “I feel like you don’t know what that sounds like.” As you cleaned his face, he gently took your hand, putting the rag on the counter “I know what it sounds like… and I have been somewhat encouraged to admit something.” You tilt your head, “(Y/N) I’ve known you for years now, and honestly? The years I’ve spent with you have been the best years of my life.” He moves closer, his hand still in yours. “If I had died today, by the hands of a cruel Russian, I would’ve never gotten to tell you how I truly feel. And I won’t let myself get so close to that possibility that I might never get to tell you how I really feel.”

Currently, the only thing you can hear is Steve’s sultry voice, and your rapid heart beat. “Steve…?” His eyes well with tears. “I love you (Y/N) and the thought of me never being able to tell you is actual hell.” You look at him in disbelief, of course, you’ve felt the same for so long. “Steve I…” you smile softly before he slowly gets on one knee “Please, (Y/N)… tell me how you really- and I mean really feel.” You smile brightly and hug him almost knocking him onto the floor “Steve, you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to tell me those words…” he pulls back slightly. “Do… do you feel the same?” He asked with a gleam of hope in his eyes. “Duh, Harrington…” you giggle softly wiping tears of joy off your face “I love you so damn much…” Steve chuckles, smiling brightly as he hugs you tighter than he ever has before. After a moment of your embrace, Steve pulls back, looking into your eyes, then at your lips. Without hesitation he leans in, and locks his lips with yours. Your lips melt with his, as he leans against the bathroom wall, pulling you closer to him. Enjoying the embrace, Steve pulls back and just nuzzles into your shoulder warmly. “I love you so much (Y/N)…” Running a hand through his hair, you respond “I love you so much, Stevie” Steve looks up at you, his well bruised face shining in the bright bathroom lights, happy that he can now rightfully call you his own.

[thereal-true-ogilvie]

hello everyone welcome to i talk about benrey for a minute here

as someone who’s watched the entirety of hlvrai at least 6 times, the full vods at least 3, and the cast commentary hovering somewhere around 10, i consider myself to be pretty well-versed in the series. i also kin benrey. this is probably important to my perception of him.

the series is about self-aware AI.   its in the title! so it seems obvious enough to me that Benrey was programmed to be the final boss. he was SUPPOSED to be a silly character that antagonizes the protag and throws off the group dynamic, and then it’s a big reveal and you get to beat up this guy that was mean to you!

but he doesnt wanna. hes self aware.

Of all the characters, i think Bubby and Tommy are the most “powerful” in that they were able to break their characters the most. Tommy is a bit of a wild card because he doesn’t usually act like an AI. I view him as the “character you’re supposed to protect” in the party, but somewhere along the way he, too, became self-aware and figured out how to handle his own. I think that’s where the age thing comes in. He was programmed to be a 5-year-old that you’re trying to get out of this dangerous facility! but he didn’t want to be a 5-year-old, he’s smarter than that, he’s capable! so he changed it. Him being the son of Gman also probably helped with him being able to just do that.

I take Bubby and Dr. Coomer as both being tutorial characters. Dr. Coomer is a bit broken, but he still does his best to teach you about things. I think he’s the tutorial NPC that goes “watch out for [x]�� and “we can use ropes to cross big pits!” and “we should call them Peeper Puppies!” while Bubby was supposed to be the “here’s how you shoot a gun”

Like, Dr. Coomer does the knowledge about the world, and Bubby does the action. for the video game. And Bubby is supposed to be kinda cold to you, because the action-tutorial NPCs tend to be. Like “what you cant even hold your own? tch, guess ill have to teach you.” But Bubby doesn’t do that. He doesn’t WANT to play the game, he wants to go back home. He liked it before the game was switched on. So he doesn’t teach Gordon shit and just tries to speedrun so the player will leave and he can go back home.

one little scene that stood out to me so much was when the crew is sitting around in a circle with the pigeons. not outside, the other scene with them sitting in a circle and there’s pigeons. why are there 2 of those.

anyways, Benrey is just staring at this pigeon behind Gordon, and singing to it, calmly. And then there’s a loud beep that sounds like the vox, and definitely doesnt come from Benrey. and he suddenly gets up and shoots the pigeon. That reads SO HARD like he was being too soft with the game world, so it pushed him to do something evil randomly. Like a little villain reboot.

Almost everything he does to antagonize Gordon can be read as genuine confusion. He kills random NPCs because he knows theyre not important, and that they can’t feel anything, and that they’ll only slow the team’s progress. And what makes Gordon so mad at him is how often Benrey says Gordon shouldnt be allowed in here. I take that as a similar stance to Bubby. Benrey doesn’t want to be the villain. He doesn’t want the player to progress and make him. That gets more obvious the closer we get to the end, and most people tend to notice it in the last scenes before Xen, where he’s suggesting they go all the way back, and basically begging the player to stop here, at least for a little while.

its really sad, honestly. but i take the cast commentary bits as canon. Which makes it adorable when Benrey comes back into the movie theatre with Gordon and we get

“I wonder what will happen. I bet you know what happens!”

“I win!!!”

He did win. He got to get past being the final boss. He got to join the epilogue. I think, he probably wasn’t supposed to be able to. But these guys broke the game enough that he could. Isn’t that sweet? Isn’t that a nice ending for him? I think he deserves it.

Wayne says he acts like “he isn’t aware unless he’s being spoken to” and I think that fits really well. Like, sometimes his actions are coded into his behavior, so he does them without realizing. And then the player interacting with him (which is the premise of the self-awareness) forces him to actually look at what he did, and sometimes he has no idea how to explain it. Leading to his “huh?”

listen to me. are you listening. i need you to hear this. i need more people to understand benrey. and how much i love him. hes trapped in the narrative, doomed by it to be the villain. but he doesn’t want to be. he clearly cares about the crew in his own silly goofy way. he doesn’t want to fight them. i wrote down everything he said in the finale, and he only says 5 outright malicious lines, all of which are directly after an unnatural pause, like he’s being rebooted again. Some important lines: “I knew this was gonna happen,”

“Stop shooting at me, I have to shoot back, I don’t wanna do that,”

“I didn’t have a big plan, I was supposed to be nice, but you forced me to be BAD so I’m gonna be BAD… friend.” the small, quiet “friend” there gets me every time. even after everything, even after his nature is revealed, he wants to believe theyre still friends.

“Don’t go in there, please… I don’t like that room." The amount of times he sounds so genuinely sad when asking them to stop, or even just saying “bro..” like he’s mourning the friendship they could’ve had. The amount of times he sounds genuinely pained when he’s glitching out and stretching across the screen.

And his last words, said childishly of course, but,

“This isn’t fair.”

[autisticjoshrusso]

⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

Hi! Not sure if you actually meant 10 sentences of if you are truly evil and genuinely wanted 30 (/lh), but uh well I started writing and turns out you're getting 30 anyway so congrats <3 This is also very much FRESH off the presses no edit no beta so yknow... it'll get edited and expanded in the final fic etc.

This is the first scene, in which Interim Captain Hen (because I am ignoring the whole end of the s7 finale <3) clocks the Grindr notif sound going off in her firehouse KJDSFHJK

Ka-dlunk! Hen’s head snapped up from her book at the familiar sound, eyes widening in shock as she zeroed in on the source. Surely that wasn’t what she thought it was. But sure enough, Buck was picking up his phone, smirk growing on his face as he swiped to respond to the notification. He didn’t even bother to put down the book he was holding in his other hand, typing out a quick response before locking and setting his phone back down. He finally noticed Hen’s look as he did so, and responded with a look of confusion. “What?” “Really, Buck? At work?” Her shock had faded by then, replaced with a knowing raise of her brows and wry smile. A little huff of embarrassed laughter slipped out as he realized she’d recognized the notification sound, and he rolled his eyes in exasperation. “We’re just chatting, that’s all.” “Uh-huh… just don’t make me have to write you up for stealing a firetruck.” “Hey,” he protested, setting down his book to give her his full attention. “C’mon, you know I’m not that guy anymore. I’d never risk my job like that again.” Hen sighed softly and gave him a more sincere smile, easing up on the critical look. “I know, Buck. Just giving you a hard time, and making sure this isn’t gonna become a problem. Kinda my job, at least until Cap gets back.” His slightly defensive posture relaxed at that, and he matched her smile. “Yeah, I get it. And… thank you, for worrying. But I’m not going back to being Buck 1.0, alright, this is the beginning of Buck 4.0,” he insisted, which made her laugh. “Oh, Buck 3.0 realized he liked guys and had to upgrade to a whole new version?” “Exactly,” he agreed, and they shared another laugh before returning to their respective books. But she couldn’t help but watch him awhile longer over the top of the spine, a knot of worry forming in her stomach. He was a grown man responsible for his own choices; it was totally fine and normal to want to explore his sexuality and play the field for a while, anyway, and yet… He’d been uncharacteristically tight lipped about why he and Tommy broke up, and when she combined this new development with his history, something wasn’t adding up. Or rather, it was adding up, into a picture she didn’t like the looks of. Her Mother Hen instincts were insisting something really wrong was going on, but she’d done enough clucking for one day; all she could do now was watch, wait, and hope her instincts would be proven wrong.

Thanks for asking!! I probably won't get to your second ask right away bc whew writing.... but trust I am Looking and will do it... eventually TM

[bleue-flora]

Hate to intervene on the discussion about the genuine finale, but Tommy did apologize previously to the nuke going off and he did it before Dream even killed him, Im not sure if it was intended for him to say the apology so early on if at all but it did make me a little confused when the reaction to the apology was dream focusing on tommy dismissing the revival book and then killing him. Its not that out of character or anything, it made sense for Dream to be paranoid and lash out especially considering Tommy accused him of being the same person the whole time within his apology, but it did make me feel bad for tommy, as well as the fact he didn't get a sorry in return but then again had the nuke not dropped and no reset, Dream probably would of apologized for his own actions once he really processed what was going on which is rlly the only issues i had with that final convo

Regardless on my opinion on that part of the stream, you've definietly highlighted why many dislike it and I completely agree. Dream and Tommy had closure, while pretty much no one else in the server really did, not sure if punz even did, many character arcs didn't rlly end, stuff was left ambigious, ranboo had their ending on twitter, we got nothing about dreamxd. killing staged duo off is just a repeat of everything before and it just makes the moral that violence is the answer to trauma and multiple characters in dsmp use violence as revenge and the ending having that would just be like saying that was okay. But the fact it instead took this understanding morally grey approach and ended that destructive cycle gave it a much better moral. Solid essay btw.

[context]

Always feel free to intervene, just know you’ll probably get an essay in response lol. ;D <3

In regards, to Tommy’s apology [clip] I am of the opinion that anything Tommy said before he died was not really genuine because he was stalling for time. He only asks Dream what his point of view is the server because he needed to stall. And even when Dream is explaining his side [clip], instead of really understanding it or even having remorse he mutes and says “Come on, Tubbo.” He’s not really listening, and his apology shortly after isn’t really sincere. He keeps repeating how Dream was always like this, so if he was apologizing it wasn’t because he realizes he actually hurt Dream. He even questions how Dream can be upset about burning down George’s house “it wasn’t even your house.” Language like “you could’ve got over that” tells me he isn’t seeing the point. He does not see how he might be in the wrong nor how much he hurt Dream.

So honestly, I think this apology is really just manipulation, trying to get Dream to stay. And honestly, that makes sense, because if you want someone to stay you’re not going to keep pissing then off, or at least he learned this because that was his first strategy. But that was only making them want to leave or kill him, so he changes tactics, getting Dream to talk [clip] “take as long as you need.” So yea, it doesn’t really count in my mind, just as Dream’s “I’m sorry” in prison doesn’t necessarily count.

If however the nuke hadn’t happened, and Tommy had actually apologized, now beginning to understand Dream more, then perhaps Dream would also. But to be honest that would be pretty out of character for both. Character growth can only go so far in one stream.

And I think Dream doesn’t feel sorry, not really. I think he regrets things getting out of hand and going further than they should have, but I think he’s so hurt by Tommy that he feels justified in his lashing out. And unless, Tommy were to express actual remorse for his actions and see them as wrong vs the “that was just me having fun with my friends” we got, then I don’t think Dream would apologize.

If the nuke hadn’t happened, I don’t necessarily see Tommy changing his behavior, only his view of Dream. I see him still being Tommy and pissing Dream off, just not viewing Dream as this evil devil out to get him. So honestly the reset was probably good because might as well go out on this nice moment when they understand where the audience can be optimistic about what could’ve happened vs seeing what the actual aftermath would have been. Certainly better and different but I don’t think things would change as much as we’d like to think.

Certainly Dream and Tommy had a satisfying wrap up where some other characters did not, but I would say it is pretty fitting that they would have a more dramatic actual resolution considering they have been the center of a lot of conflicts from the very start.

I do think though Punz did complete his character arc, perhaps not as satisfying as we’d like but still. Throughout the whole thing he has been in the background and more secretly Dream’s ally, but finally he was able to stand beside Dream and speak his truth, and be openly his friend, openly defend him and have his back. That was a good ending for him. Instead of being a bystander like in the disc confrontation this time he got to speak up and be heard. He finally got to die alongside Dream, instead of watching Dream die for him. He finally got to be included. It’s not perfect or as well thought out, but it works.

Have another essay I guess lol, glad you liked the other. <3 <3 and yea for sure sending a good message to the audience is super important (again something that Supernatural failed at) and to say let’s talk it out and try and see each others point of views instead of just continuing the cycle of violence is certainly a very important message to highlight. :)

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

BuckTommyWhumpWeek, Day 1 Canon Typical Injury

All the Pain, Chapter 1 | Read on AO3 | In this chapter (CW): Buck is trapped under rubble. | @bucktommywhumpweek

It’s the same dream. He’s been having it for weeks now, maybe longer. It's a strange dream, but not a nightmare; a nightmare in which Tommy appears is unthinkable. Buck is sitting next to Tommy, who is looking ahead intently, one hand resting relaxed on the cyclic control. He’s got this, no need to worry, and Buck doesn’t. It’s also unthinkable to worry when Tommy’s there. This seems to be a casual flight, like one of those sightseeing flights that you can book at Harbor. Except Buck’s not sitting next to just any pilot but his boyfriend.

“Hey, Tommy,” he says, and Tommy turns to him briefly and smiles.

“You good?” he asks, and Buck can't help but smile too as, before them, just above the horizon, the sun rises.

That’s it. That’s always the end of this dreamscape. It’s a nice little dream, one in which he feels safe, and when he wakes up, the smile is still on his face and he feels good.

Not today, though.

The dream may be the same as always, but Buck doesn't feel the same. Not like someone with a smile on his face and a warm feeling in his stomach. Although, he does feel warm. But also… wet, and sticky. What a strange morning, Buck thinks, why are my eyes so heavy? Heavy and kind of hard to open.

Maybe he’s still dreaming. Happens sometimes, right? You slip from one image of your mind into the other, often feeling uncomfortable, mainly because the body has an urgent need. Might just be a need to pee, but somehow you’re not waking up, because melatonin, cortisol and serotonin are still in the mix.

These are odd thoughts, but it is obviously a very odd morning.

Is it morning, though? Buck can’t even remember going to sleep. In fact, he can’t remember much at all. All he knows is that something seems to be dripping on his face - maybe it’s raining? Is that why his eyes are so heavy? Finally, he manages to crack them open.

The world is a blur, at least in the beginning. It’s all very confusing, and actually, he doesn’t feel so good, but it’s hard to pinpoint what’s wrong. It feels as if all of his senses kick in one after the other, as if somebody flipped a switch. First his eyes – it's not that he can't see anything, there just doesn't seem to be anything to see. It's dark, but not so dark that Buck can't make out the flakes of dust in the air, dancing in a very gray, dull light. Then, a scent hits his nose. Strange, even the smell seems somehow gray to him. It smells of dust, he realizes, he can taste it on his tongue. Dust with a hint of a burning. Maybe somebody’s having a barbecue in the neighborhood. But which neighborhood, exactly?

Now, several sensations hit him at once. He’s on the floor. There’s a constant cracking and crunching around him. The moisture on his forehead… it’s blood, isn’t it?

Buck’s heavy eyes widen. If this isn't a dream, then what's coursing through his veins now is adrenaline. It's not because it's so dark that he can hardly see anything. That’s one reason, yes. But it’s mainly because the ceiling is only a hand's breadth away from his face. I’m lying on the floor with the ceiling in my face. How can that be? he thinks, but the answer just isn’t coming.

What is coming, though, what’s now flowing into his consciousness, roaming his neural pathways like some evil thunderstorm, is pain. That’s bad. The realization is almost as bad as the hurt. It’s overwhelming, and for a second, Buck can’t breathe. Is that how a first responder reacts, dumbass? The voice in his head is his own, because nobody can reprimand Buck like Buck himself. It helps, a little. His breath comes in gasps, but he breathes. He’s alive, he can fix this. Whatever this is. Whatever happened, and he’s absolutely got no idea what actually happened, it must have been some kind of accident. Yeah, Buck, but what kind of accident turns the ceiling upside down?

It's not the whole ceiling, of course. Dust and tiny stones or lumps of mortar trickle down on him. There's hardly any room to dodge as Buck turns his head a little – that hurts, thank you very much – to avoid breathing the stuff in. He needs to focus on what’s hurting rather than finding out what happened. Maybe it was an earthquake, happens in California. Buildings collapse all the time for other reasons, too. People get trapped under rubble. That happened to him, didn't it?

He tries to take a deep breath. It works, that’s good. It’s not his chest that’s hurting. His head, yes, but that can’t be it. Buck’s having trouble focusing, but this he knows. That's far from the whole story. What are the odds to get away with only scratches when the ceiling comes down on you? Then again, lately, Buck’s been the happiest guy on earth, right?

There’s a thought. Blinking, he tries to grasp it, hold on to it, because there’s something… there’s a name on his tongue, and it tastes good, way better than this dusty air around him. It’s still out of his reach. Wait. Buck tries to direct his confused thoughts to his hands, to move his fingers. He can’t see them, and for a very long, very frightful second he thinks they’re gone. They’re not, stupid. Buck raises a shaky hand, which can only just scrape across his stomach. It’s the same for the other one too. Not enough space to lift them higher;there’s just rubble to the right and left and above him anyway.

Two things, Buck, he thinks, a bit clearer. First, no rubble on his chest or stomach, which is good. Second, he knows the source of his pain. And that is not good. His eyes have now adjusted to the darkness, but there’s still not much to see. The ceiling above him was probably white once, but now everything is gray, as if a huge veil of dust has settled over everything. To the front, across his stomach, he can see the tons of stone above him are tapering. There seems to be more space behind his head, and if he is not mistaken a vague breeze comes from there. That's good. Conclusion, Buckaroo?

The voice in his head sounds a lot like Chimney now, and there's a reason for that, isn't there? Because Chimney could probably determine the angle at which this piece of ceiling crashed onto Buck. In any case, it didn't fall down straight, otherwise he’d be as flat as a pancake by now. It fell at an angle, suggesting that there was resistance behind Buck’s head - perhaps more rubble, a piece of furniture, something strong enough to cushion the impact a little. Enough for him to breathe. Enough to survive.

The rest of the ceiling, which is impossible to avoid thinking about any longer, is on Buck's legs. At least that’s what he’s assuming, because it might just be that his right leg is on fire, or sawed off, or no, being gnawed on by some ferocious monster. It’s no consolation that it’s not the left one, this time, because he can’t really feel that one. It’s hard to tell if it’s still there. The other one, though… Up and down, the pain comes in waves, and it will not stop as long as the masses of stone exert this force that weighs tons. He can picture it very clearly: split skin, broken bones, ruptured blood vessels. He’s spiraling, close to a panic attack. Buck knows the signs, and he can hear his frantic breaths.

He needs to think, to treat this like riding the waves of the ocean, swimming in their rhythm to master them. Where exactly was he when this ceiling came down? It seems quite unlikely to him that his loft would be destroyed this way. This is not the way to build apartment complexes in an area that’s at risk of earthquakes. Is it Maddie’s apartment? For a moment, it feels as if the stones are crushing his chest after all. If this a wave, it’s another tsunami, and it's impossible to ride.

Remember. A different voice this time. Remember, Evan.

And he remembers.

---

(this chapter was beta-read by @lavenderleahy, thank you!)

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

I feel like a lot of people really dislike the idea of Ghostbur being or seeming “childish”—which I honestly get! Especially when a vast number in the fandom see Ghostbur as nothing more than a silly guy who doesn’t understand things and isn’t mature in the slightest.

That’s frustrating. It really hekkin is. It’s frustrating to see people reduce Ghostbur to that.

And so I think a lot of people who feel hurt or protective over this misconception become very defensive, to the point where they… kinda seem to disregard every childish thing that Ghostbur did. Which… is also frustrating. Not in the same way as people who infantilize him, but frustrating nonetheless.

Because in reality, Ghostbur was childish. He spoke in simple terms, said things like “buh-bye”, very quickly lost interest in a conversation if it was veering in a direction he didn’t like, and pretty much refused to acknowledge anything “bad” or scary or sad—often to the point of hurting others, albeit not meaning to. Those are all fairly childish things.

But Ghostbur also was a very well-developed, very unique, very beautiful character who felt things, who wanted to help people, who loved his friends and his family and his sheep more than anything in the world, who thought deeply and thoughtfully, who understood that not everyone in this world means well or is a nice person, and that some people do hurt and lie, and he also understood that people can change, and that everyone should have a second chance.

Ghostbur was well aware of the way people perceived him—most of the people on DSMP saw Ghostbur as something delicate, something that couldn’t handle the real truth, something that needed to be protected and shielded from anything “too complicated”. Philza, in particular, did that a lot.

Ghostbur was aware that people saw him that way, and he was aware that sometimes people lied to him, and he was aware that every single person on the entire server saw him as Wilbur’s ghost, as Wilbur, as an echo, as nothing more than a clone or a replica. Ghostbur knew that. He freaking knew that. And that hurt him.

Ghostbur felt things far too heavy to bear; he felt the weight, ramifications, and heartbreak that Wilbur’s choices brought down. He felt the continual rejection, the continual casting aside, the continual anger and fear and confusion that everyone always expressed at the sight of him. Of Wilbur’s ghost. Of Wilbur.

Ghostbur felt all these things and more—he watched Friend die, he watched his homes blow up, he saw Logstedshire blow up, he saw L’manburg blow up, he watched Tommy go through hell, he watched Technoblade get executed, he watched Phil forced into house arrest, he watched Phil betray him, he heard Phil’s words on Doomsday, he watched people grapple with greif and anger and sadness and pain, Ghostbur struggled with grief and anger and sadness and pain, Ghostbur struggled with memories that slipped and moments that became muddled, Ghostbur died trying to do the one thing that Tommy wanted the most, and Ghostbur died, but he lived, in a way, and he had to live with the fact that—in his mind—he failed Tommy. He let Tommy down.

And Ghostbur’s stuck with that. He’s stuck with that.

But it wasn’t all painful! It wasn’t all sorrow! There were so many good things too!! Things like Ghostbur finding Friend, and loving Tommy, and loving Phil and loving Techno, and building a house in Exile, and reading books, and learning about Wilbur and realizing that he wasn’t evil—he was just a hero that hadn’t been convinced—and forgiving Eret, and having a library, and taking Friend on walks, and making Tommy smile, and giving clingy duo the compasses, and handing out Blue, and trying to help anyone and everyone in any way he possibly could.

All that happened too. It wasn’t all bad. Ghostbur had some darn good moments on this server. He loved things and he cared about things and he helped people. He tried to help people. He wanted more than anything to help people.

What I’m getting at is this: Ghostbur was an incredible character—still is! He was beautiful, and poignant, and interesting and relatable and completely unique and wonderful… and he was also childish. Or, I should say, had some childlike qualities. I don’t think describing his entire personality as childish is right at all.

Because Ghostbur was more than that, man. He was so much more than that. He was so much more than what the fandom reduced him to. He’s so much more than what most people give him credit for.

And Ghostbur can be both. He was just as developed as any other character, just as human (despite being a ghost) and just as emotional and just as capable of feeling things and experiencing things as anyone else. And he also did some childish things, and went about certain things in childish ways—and that’s okay! That’s okay! I honestly see that as kinda neat, because most characters I come across aren’t nearly as whimsical or odd as Ghostbur is :) So it’s fun to find someone like that.

I think it can become a problem when people either A) don’t see Ghostbur as anything but childish and completely disregard all other aspects about him, or B) refuse to acknowledge any childish aspect about Ghostbur, even when it’s an important part of his character.

I think a balance can be had between the two.

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

OH SHIT before I go to bed just remembered a cool dream I had while napping from pain.

ok so c!dream got like infected by this glitch thing? it was sorta like the egg but not really, it was like an enemy of the egg. but like this glitch thing attached to him like a parasite and he grew all glitchy and monstrous and shit and the glitch entity used him to try and destroy the egg. i think it could only possess one person but could give them a lot of power? and presumably had some way of destroying other parasitic entities. idk the dream was from c!tommy's perspective so i only got bits and pieces.

anyway the way the possession worked was basically it broke down and switched all of c!dreams goals and morals (well what little he had) to align him fully into the glitch entities interests? but like the thing was it didn’t change his personality outside of that so he was basically a corrupted, completely amoral and directionless without his puppet master version of c!dream, and he still like. had attachments and shit.

which is where c!tommy comes in! since c!dream had his big happy family goal forcibly excised from his head and replaced with the entities goals, he didn’t have any solid end goals with his plans with c!tommy anymore but he was still obsessed with him and the distress of basically having his mind painfully remade meant he latched onto it more than ever. and with the insane power he had he could easily capture c!tommy, and since he was basically using him as a chain to his past self he desperately wanted to return to he basically spent all the time he wasn’t able to fulfil the glitch parasites goals using his powers to mess with c!tommy in new and exciting ways, without the restraints of morality or care anymore. which isn’t to say he wouldn’t be kind to c!tommy, but he didn’t need to manipulate him into being unable to leave anymore so he became a lot more erratic in when he'd be c!tommy's “friend” and when he’d hurt him. he also couldn’t really tell the difference between hurting and helping c!tommy anymore because he wasn’t evil- he literally had no sense of morality at that point it had been wiped from his mind.

but the thing was that c!dream absolutely hated what had happened to him so much, even after he’d been basically brainwashed, and he hated himself and he hated how he couldn’t understand his past self anymore. he felt incredibly confused and upset as to why c!tommy seemed even more frightened than him than before, and again he genuinely couldn’t comprehend how torturing his best friend was a bad thing and hated himself for it. like he was an abusive dick in the past obviously but he had his own “justifications”, but he didn’t have those anymore and he felt both lost and guilty, even if he couldn’t understand why it made him feel guilty. so a lot of the time he’d just have complete breakdowns because his own behaviour and treatment of c!tommy horrified him and he didn’t even know why. and c!tommy of course felt really bad for him! because he was clearly obviously not himself, and clearly distressed and feeling like he couldn’t control his violent outbursts towards c!tommy. and c!tommy being the self sacrificing kid who doesn’t care about his own well being, very quickly just fell into his exile mindset times a million because HE felt guilty over it.

iirc c!dream was like a reality warper but in a subconscious way? so that’s why the glitch parasite had to change his mind instead of straight up possessing him or something. which wasn’t good for c!tommy bc it meant his torment could be literally anything depending on c!Dream’s very (and understandably) messed up mental state. i remember he got drowned over and over in like some black slime void liquid and he got his body all glitched painfully like c!Dream’s at some point in the dream, but mostly went back to normal after c!dream broke down and started crying. c!dream might not have had morals but he did genuinely care about c!tommy and saw him as the only person who could understand him in the horrifying state he was in, so he never went like, too far, but like. that’s still some pretty awful mental and physical torment.

[mellorphic]

Hello! Same c!crimeboys anon. I do think the particular comment of Ghostbur's I mentioned is reliable since it occurred shortly after Nov 16, before any of Ghostbur's unreliableness was really made part of the character, but we can agree to disagree on that one since it's not something that can be determined for certain, nor is it the only thing supporting my argument.

As for Revivedbur's arc in particular, it seems we're in complete agreement there. c!Wilbur hurting c!Tommy in minor ways to avoid further harm is an example of care, but I brought it up specifically as an example of how it's possible for a character to care for someone and hurt/manipulate them at the same time – something that your initial post posited as an impossibility, which is what I took issue with in the first place.

The button room is also an interesting case, but I don't feel it's right to analyze it in isolation. Pogtopia c!Wilbur in general is a very conflicted character, he vacillates between actively wanting to hurt and even kill his friends and feeling terrible about it. His moments of regret and doubt do not nullify the moments of genuine malice, though, I feel like. For all his unwillingness to harm his friends in that moment, he still tried to harm them during the Red Festival and ended up blowing up L'Manburg when there were people in the vicinity on Nov 16. Which, again, supports my main point.

Overall, my main point of disagreement with you was the supposed incompatibility of hurt and care. But since you agreed that Revivedbur DID intentionally hurt c!Tommy, maybe there isn't any disagreement here at all.

(btw, if you are confused about any of the events I reference, I can provide sources. Just ask. DSMP is a big story it's hardly surprising when someone isn't aware of something or isn't sure what exact event a person is referencing)

Hi again anon :D

c!Wilbur is such a complex character, complete agreement with you there. His internal conflict is so fun to analyse as well as his relationship with c!Tommy. I don’t have much else to add, honestly, very real and based takes here. He’s definitely capable of it, but there’s also always an explanation for it that isn’t as simple as ‘he’s evil’, and I don’t believe any of it is JUST malicious intent - there’s something underlying. which was what my og post was mainly discussing. Sorry I was a little unspecific with the wording oops

[slasherhaven]

Hi! Could we possibly get some slasher's reacting to their S/O giving them really sappy pet-names? (Like "pumpkin", "love", "sweetiepie", etc?) The idea of big murder men getting called "teddy-bear" or something is just really funny to me <3

Mixed this with another request for ‘random compliments’!

The Slashers reacting to a S/O giving them Sappy Pet-Names and random Compliments: 

Thomas Hewitt

Pet-names

When you first started using pet-names, Thomas found it very endearing but they always managed to make him flustered.

Your pet-names only got sappier, each new pet-name making Thomas blush.

He loves them, he just thinks you’re sweet, and that they’re sweet.

Luda May also thinks your pet-names for Tommy are really sweet. Hoyt teases you both about it, though...but who cares what he thinks.

Compliments

Any and all of your compliments make Tommy smile, and sometimes get a little flustered.

You give the compliments so randomly that they nearly always catch him off guard. 

At first they really make him falter for a moment, needing to collect himself while he dwells on your kind words.

Later on he gets a little more used to them, and they just make him smile rather than throwing him off for the whole day.

One time you told him that he had pretty eyes, and he just melted. The compliment surprised him but it meant a lot to him.

Michael Myers

Pet-names

Acts fairly disinterested and unbothered.

However, he is a surprised and even a little amused by them.

He’s Michael Myers, the Shape, evil personified, and here you are calling him by the cutest of pet-names.

He doesn’t understand how you can refer to him as such things but he allows it.

He becomes used to them and becomes suspicious when you refer to him by his actual name.

Compliments

He has a similar feeling about the compliments as he does about the pet-names.

People believe he is the personification of evil, but you clearly don’t think that.

The compliments come so easy and sincerely from you, it’s confusing but he also allows them.

He even starts to become slightly fond of them.

Jason Voorhees

Pet-names

Adores your pet-names, the sappier the better.

He just thinks they’re so sweet and make his heart flutter. They’re adorable and loving and he can’t get enough of them.

He likes if you start using one pet-name more than the others, especially if it’s a more unique one, it feels more personal and he adores it.

Compliments

Any compliments get Jason pretty flustered but in the best way!

He loves them.

He likes the reassurance that he’s being a good partner to you and that you love him. 

Anytime you call him handsome, he just melts, feeling all fuzzy from your compliments.

Brahms Heelshire

Pet-names

He likes the more common pet-names like “love” and “sweetheart” but does prefer the cuter pet-names like “sweetie”, “sweetpie”, “sweetpea”.

Absolutely melts when you call him something like “your very own teddy-bear” while you’re cuddling.

Your pet-names just make him smile and feel a little giddy, he loves them!

Compliments

Brahms lives for praise and compliments.

Of course he wants to hear you tell him how handsome he is, how smart he is, how good he is. 

Whatever it is, if it’s a compliment, he could listen to them all day.

Bo Sinclair

Pet-names

You’re going to have to be cautious and slow when it comes to pet-names, Bo isn’t going to allow anything too sappy too quickly.

Start with more common pet-names and he’ll let it slide, even liking when you call him “love” or “honey”. 

Then you start to throw in the occasional, much sappier, pet-names and Bo will roll his eyes at you.

Really, deep down, Bo think you’re sweet, just adorable, but it’s not a very good look in front of his brothers.

Compliments

The first time you complimented him was when you were watching him work on a car. You didn’t sound like you were in awe or anything, you just saw that he knew what he was doing and had complimented him on it in slightly impressed manner. 

He brushes it off.

But then you started complimenting him on other things, starting with a simple “you look nice today” and things like that.

You have to ease Bo into sappier compliments. 

He might start of suspicious of your compliments at first but they soon start feeding that ego of his.

Vincent Sinclair

Pet-names

The first time you use any pet-name for him, his head perks up in curiosity, and he’s probably blushing slightly behind his mask.

You can tell that he likes it, so you quickly continue to use them and try new ones. 

He just thinks they’re cute and sweet, just like you, and they just feel affectionate. Especially when he realises that you only use those pet-names for him and not his brothers.

Compliments

You mostly compliment him on his artistic skills, but you can’t help it, he’s just so impressive at times!

You’ve compliment his skills since the beginning, and they’ve always filled him with pride, loving to hear your thoughts and compliments.

But your compliments quickly turn to other aspects, whether it be his appearance or personality, all of which he loves just as much.

You just fill him with confidence.

Lester Sinclair

Pet-names

Lester is a little surprised when you start with the pet-names but they make him smile, he likes them.

He thinks they’re cute.

He never gets bored of them, and you just keep throwing out new ones.

He doesn’t care if you refer to him by the pet-names in front of people, happy to have you calling him the sappiest of pet-names in front of strangers, and not caring about the teasing he’s bound to get from Bo.

Compliments

He really doesn’t get complimented much at all, so it’s almost surprising when you start complimenting him, especially when you do so, so sincerely. 

Every time you compliment him, he is just beaming.

Bo has definitely asked him “what are you smiling about?” after you had complimented him once. He just can’t help it!

Bubba Sawyer

Pet-names

The more pet-names the better. The sappier, the better.

He loves when you call him “teddy-bear” just because he’s so cuddly. He loves cuddles and he’s more than happy to be your personal teddy-bear.

Every one else in the house hates you both, rolling their eyes at just how cute the two of you are but Bubba couldn’t care less.

Compliments

Please, please, please compliment him. He absolutely loves them.

They make his face turn a little red but he’s practically made giddy by them.

He’s not too used so such sincere (and definitely not such sweet) compliments and praise, but he quickly learns that he loves them.

Billy Lenz

Pet-names

Billy enjoys your cute pet-names, he just loves being called them.

The cuter and sweeter the better, they just make him giddy.

They get him a little flustered, his cheeks turning a light shade of pink as his breaks out in a smile.

They’re just so affectionate. You must love him so much to refer to him in such ways so consistently! 

Compliments

Your compliments also make him a little flustered, whether you’re talking about how handsome he is or just how wonderful he is.

Once he gets a little red or flustered, you’ll comment on how cute he is, only getting him more flustered.

He lives for your compliments, and if he gets more when he helps you with things (no matter how small) he makes sure to do it more often.

He just wants to hear your pet-names and compliments as much as possible, they never grow old to him.

Asa Emory (The Collector)

Pet-names

For the most part, Asa doesn’t really care.

He does think you’re cute and the pet-names are fitting in that way, but he doesn’t care too much about what pet-name you use for him.

If he doesn’t like one, he’ll tell you.

If he prefers one or two more than the others, he tells you.

If he wants you to refer to him as something, he’ll let you know, you don’t need to worry about that.

Compliments

Asa definitely isn’t going to stop you from complimenting him, no matter what you’re complimenting him about.

If you’re feeding his ego and talking him up, he’s going to let you.

Early on, he might be a little suspicious of compliments, but soon realises that you mean every word and then it just makes him smirk to himself.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull)

Pet-names

Jesse doesn’t mind the pet-names. He doesn’t let any sort of ego get in the way of letting his partner call him by sweet pet-names.

He hopes that you feel free to refer to him as such when you feel it suitable to do so. 

You’re calling him such things because you love him, who is he to complain?

Plus, he just thinks you’re sweet for it.

He does find some of the sappier pet-names amusing but he’s not going to tell you to stop.

Compliments

Jesse is never going to stop you from complimenting him. While he doesn’t need you to feed his ego, he certainly isn’t going to complain when you do.

He doesn’t really care what you’re complimenting him about, he’ll take it, he just thinks you’re his sweet s/o who likes to show your love for him.

It’s not one-sided either, he compliments you a fair amount as well.

Otis Driftwood

Pet-names

When you first start with the pet-names, it amuses Otis. They’re inappropriately sweet for who he is and the environment you’re all in.

But they’re endearingly sweet and out of place in his life, he doesn’t mind it much. 

Acts much more annoyed by them than he actually is when you call him such names in front of other people, but you know how much he doesn’t mind them in private, how you’ve even made him smile a little with them.

Compliments

Absolutely adores when you compliment his ‘artwork’, feeling like you really understand him.

He gets used to the compliments, smirking whenever you give him one.

Honestly likes whenever you compliment him about anything.

He normally throws one back at you, one far more inappropriate than yours, but at long as it gets a reaction out of you.

Baby Firefly

Pet-names

Baby is a fan of pet-names in general, whether they’re playful or sappy.

She already has a few for you but you only encourage her to use more.

It’s almost like a competition of who can come up with the best (arguably worst) pet-names.

If Otis ever hears you both using sappy pet-names, he will roll his eyes and complain. You two are so sappy, it’s gross.

Compliments 

Baby eats up all of your compliments.

She tells you to “carry on” when you stop, with a playful smile on her face.

And it’s definitely not one sided, she lays the compliments on thick too.

Yautja (Predator)

Pet-names

Pet-names are new...but he likes them.

Doesn’t quite understand why you’re calling him things like “pumpkin” and “sweetpea”...he is not a vegetable, why are you calling him this?

But he comes to understand that all of these pet-names are terms of endearments, and that’s why he likes it.  

Compliments

He sees any of your compliments as some form of praise, which pretty much makes sense, and he loves it. 

Purrs with pride whenever you compliment him, it’s endearing.

The best thing to compliment him on is anything to do with his strength and how capable he is, it just fills him with pride knowing that he is a good mate who you are proud of having.

[ranboo5]

Lawful Good: Technoblade (streamer) making a playlist of all his DSMP VODs in chronological order AND an abridged one that covers major beats Lawful Neutral: Philza (streamer) and everyone like him having an organized archive of VODs, DSMP ones titled accordingly Chaotic Good: Wilbur Soot (streamer) generally video-covering most of his plot involvement in the DSMP, having exclusive lore VODs, and supplementing with profuse prose and perhaps too much Word of God Chaotic Neutral: That one post by Rev that talks about how if you follow just Dream (streamer)’s coverage of the DSMP you can reasonably assume he has the revive book for his dead parrot and decided to be fucked up about it Chaotic Evil: Tommy (streamer)’s Exile videos Neutral Evil: Tubbo (streamer) not archiving his VODs Lawful Evil: Ranboo (streamer) swapping in and out of character not only on his own streams but on a vast assortment of other people’s streams,rnot having an official VODs channel, not even titling any of his streams, dropping key information during semi-lore because he feels like it, making like three vague Word of God comments over a year and keeping a tight lock on all lore commentary outside that, doing a recap stream IN CHARACTER AS AN AMNESIAC UNRELIABLE NARRATOR and directing people to it when they’re confused, doing a Twitter ARG, promising the arc around the Twitter ARG isn’t necessary for understanding his character and then proceeding to do only lore about that arc for months on end, dropping the Twitter ARG, appearing on other people’s streams for five minutes to drop key lore information while they’re fucking around barely in character again, kills off his character, and continues to treat anything to do with his lore as if it’s state secrets while telling people to rewatch the streams (that he doesn’t archive) (that have IC and OOC context mixed like playdoh colors) because they missed things

[dreamsclock]

Its v confusing to me when ppl say headcanoning c!Dream as nd is villainizing neurodivergent ppl. Like as someone who is autistic & adhd for me it does the opposite? It makes c!Dream feel more human and real. Mayb thats just the apologist brainroy tho lmao

not only is it confusing, it’s also borderline infantilising. (long post!)

sure, a character who is a villain BECAUSE they’re neurodivergent is vilifying and ableist. usually the shows/books/movies who follow this trope add a layer of stigma to a group that is already stigmatised — im thinking of the movie split and what a harmful (and incorrect) message that spread about people with dissociative identity disorder. there are loads of pieces of media out there where those characters exist, and it’s only in the last ten or so years we’ve started (slowly) moving away from them, imo.

HOWEVER, there is a difference between a character who is evil BECAUSE OF their neurodivergency, and a character who is evil AND neurodivergent. at that point, the two ‘traits’ (evil + neurodivergent) aren’t codependent on each other, and instead exist outside of each other. the character doesn’t do evil things because they’re neurodivergent: they do things for other reasons, and their neurodivergency affects them. they’re not linked.

the thing i dislike about the “evil characters can’t be neurodivergent” protest is that it sets neurodivergent people up to an impossible standard. it says “neurodivergent people cannot possibly be evil or bad” and plays into the “innocent + pure good” trope of neurodivergency that verges on infantilising. neurodivergent people who do bad things exist ,, neurodivergent people who do good things exist. neurodivergence isn’t what makes someone good or evil and claiming nd evil characters are vilifying neurodiversity isn’t looking at the bigger picture — or real life.

c!dream, for example, has adhd. his actor does, the character is playing by the actor, it’s an understandable headcanon and it makes sense. c!dream also does horrible, terrible things. he didn’t abuse c!tommy in exile because he has adhd 💀 sure, looking at his actions through a lens of having adhd is a valid lens to have — his character has adhd, so of course it’s going to affect him and his line of thought / his actions etc — but his adhd doesn’t ,, mean he’s evil ?? and headcanoning that he (an ‘evil’ character) has adhd doesn’t mean calling adhd evil ?

honestly, the problem for me is really viewing people + characters as black-and-white good or evil, which leads ppl to see c!dream having adhd = vilification of neurodivergency. because a BAD character can’t have neurodivergency, he’s BAD, that implies everything about him is BAD!! like the moment u start claiming c!dream being neurodivergent means neurodivergency is vilified, say goodbye to blond haired people: they’re also vilified!! and people whose name starts with d!! and green eyed people!!

like at the end of the day headcanoning a character as nd isn’t trying to excuse or justify bad actions they do. but it offers perspective into their character, allows more depth for a character, and also negates the slowly growing social media purity culture that says “nd people can’t do anything wrong”

(tldr saying a character is evil BECAUSE they’re nd or mentally ill is weirdchamp but saying a character is evil AND nd should be normalised. nd is just another adjective to describe someone at the end of the day)

[rnelodyy]

c!Dream and the rules

(/dsmp /rp, all names refer to characters, not content creators)

I think one of the most striking parts of Exile is something that I rarely see talked about, and it’s Dream’s rules. Or rather, how his rules were made to be used as justification to hurt Tommy.

The thing about exile is that, outside of the initial rule of “Don’t go back to L’Manburg”, Dream never told Tommy the rules, yet constantly operated under the assumption that Tommy already knew them, and had accepted them. The rules also changed constantly, without Tommy ever being notified until he was already in trouble.

The second time Dream told Tommy to put his armor in the hole, he didn’t tell Tommy to do that right away. Instead, the conversation went like this (slightly edited to remove stammering and unrelated dialogue).

Dream: Do you have, uh… something you wanna put on the floor here? Tommy: Yes. (drops two pieces of red concrete as Dream digs a hole) Dre-eam! You’re evil. You’re evil. Dream: Anything else, Tommy? Tommy: Nope! Dream: Oh c’mon, I know there’s something else you wanna drop down here. Tommy: (panicking slightly) No, there… (messages BBH “take this and run”, throws him the disc BBH had gifted him earlier) Um… I don’t reckon there is! (pause) Dream: Okay, are you suuuure? Tommy: YES. Dream: Alright… How ‘bout your armor, Tommy? Tommy: Well, no, this is- I actually earned this myself. Dream: I know you did! Tommy: Leave me alone. Dream: Just drop it in the hole, Tommy. Tommy: Wh- no, NO, you can’t just come and demand things from me! I’ve been exiled, I’ve done your shit, what do you mean?! Dream: (sing-song) Tommy… Tommy: What? (Dream hits Tommy with his axe, taking over half his health) Tommy: (screams, drops his armor) OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY!

The only rule Tommy was aware of at this time was that he wasn’t allowed to go back to L’Manburg. Dream had taken his armor the night before, but there was no indication that he expected Tommy to do this constantly. Taking his armor upon initially arriving at Logstedshire made some kind of sense, allowing Tommy to keep it would run the risk of him trying to fight his way back into L’Manburg. Taking his new, very shitty armor (seriously it was an iron chestplate and a pair of golden leggings he got from a ruined portal chest) made no sense at all, so the fact that Tommy was confused and refused to cooperate at first isn’t unexpected in the slightest.

And the thing is… Dream was aware of this fact. Throughout the conversation, he never really sounded annoyed, and was actively teasing Tommy at times. This isn’t a good thing btw, it’s a sign that he was fully aware that Tommy didn’t know what he wanted from him, and that that would create a situation where Dream could “put him in his place” as it were.

If you’re a parent, and your kid does something that’s not allowed, without knowing it’s not allowed, you don’t start off with a beating. You sit them down, calmly explain the rules to them and explain why those rules are there, then send them on their way with the knowledge that they shouldn't do it again.

This interaction wasn’t an instance of Tommy acting out and Dream correcting him. This interaction was a trap. Dream set Tommy up to fail by not telling him the rules beforehand, and when Tommy offered even the slightest bit of resistance and asked why he needed to drop his armor, Dream jumped straight to beating him. It’s a powerplay, plain and simple.

This is demonstrated again with the destruction of Logstedshire. Dream got pissed that Tommy disobeyed him by having hidden chests with gear under his house, and retaliated by destroying everything Tommy had built, destroying every item he’d collected, killing his pet and only foodsource, barring him from the Nether, banning everyone except himself from visiting, and telling him to start over from scratch after a whole lecture about how Tommy betrayed him.

Again, I wanna point out some specific lines from this lecture that illustrate my point very well.

Dream: You were lying to me! You were lying to me. Tommy: No- Why was I lying?! Dream: What do you mean, why were you lying?! Tommy: I wasn’t hi- I wasn’t- Dream: You hid things in a chest knowing they were things I wouldn’t want you to have! And you hid it in a way that way I would never find it!

Except Tommy didn’t know that. The contents of the stash were all items that Tommy had obtained previously without any issue (diamonds, emeralds, iron, ender pearls, some pickaxes, and some purely sentimental items like flowers, a jukebox, and pictures of Tubbo and L’Manburg). In fact, the vast majority of them came from Tommy’s aboveground storage, which Dream had full access to, and had looked through before!

Dream also never said Tommy wasn’t allowed to hide stuff, and there was nothing to suggest he didn’t want Tommy to keep secrets from him.

There’s been a theory floating around for a while that Dream knew about Tommy’s item stash beforehand, since it was a very strange place to dig a hole (like, right in front of the house in the center of Logstedshire itself, instead of out in the plains where the TNT wouldn’t damage any structures), and Tommy had previously forgotten to cover up the entrance ladder. While Dream hadn’t looked inside the house, he would’ve definitely heard Tommy place the block back.

If this theory is correct, then this was yet another trap. Dream knew Tommy had a hidden room, and instead of just saying “hey, I don’t want you to have a hidden stash, go put this back and fill in the room” (which would’ve still been bullshit btw), he went COMPLETELY ballistic, destroyed EVERYTHING Tommy had, and while doing it, kept admonishing Tommy for betraying him, said shit like “I thought we were friends”, and even accused him of preparing to attack Dream. Again, a powerplay.

Hell, even the exile conflict itself is this! Tommy was exiled for griefing the king’s property while being a high-ranking official in L’Manburg. Except Fundy, the then-president’s son, CONSTANTLY griefed Eret’s shit after the L’Manburg war, ranging from ripping down one of their towers to “shrink” it, filling another tower with water, and multiple elaborate plots to steal the throne from under their nose. But apparently, between all of that shit and the exile-conflict, the rules were silently changed, meaning Dream could exile Tommy for breaking a couple blocks and placing some rude signs in George’s house. Even the punishment itself was changed without warning, as Tommy went from being exiled from L’Manburg to exiled from “everywhere that’s ever been touched.”

...I was originally gonna make a different point here. I may put it in the reblogs, because I still think it’s very interesting. But, in the middle of writing this essay I had to stop because it was late, then I spent the entire next day packing up because I’m in the middle of a move. It's now the next evening, I'm sat in my new room, on my camping bed, I opened this doc because I pretty much forgot what I typed, I reread it, and then I realized… This isn’t an isolated series of events. This is a pattern for Dream.

Before Tommy first joined the server, there were only three set rules: no stealing, no griefing, and no killing people. Except by that point, those rules weren’t enforced at all. In fact, Dream broke all three at once at one point, by killing George and burning his diamond armor because he didn’t feel it was fair that George got to run around in full diamond when everyone else still had iron.

Tommy joined the server, and broke the rules like everyone else. He stole shit, broke shit, killed George for funsies… and he got exiled for it. Seriously, they dumped him in an empty snowfield for breaking rules that nobody had enforced for weeks. So technically, the Exile-arc isn’t even the first time something like this has happened to him!

During the events that would eventually spark the Disc War, Sapnap stole a bunch of Tommy’s items (including the only Netherite chestplate on the server at the time), and told him he’d only give the stuff back if Tommy helped him with a conflict he had with Ponk. Long story short, Dream tried to intervene and was killed by Tommy and Sapnap, and Dream stole Tommy’s discs to force him to apologize. He then kept the discs, and the Disc War followed. Sapnap, despite being the aggressor and arguably forcing Tommy to participate in the conflict, was never punished.

This proves not only that the rules can change whenever Dream feels like it, but that they’re arbitrarily enforced. Dream refuses to punish his friends for the same crimes he endlessly fucks over Tommy for.

L’Manburg was created in part because of the fact that the rules were unevenly enforced. Tommy, Wilbur, and later Tubbo were repeatedly killed, stolen from, imprisoned, and even held hostage for very minor crimes, while the people killing, imprisoning, kidnapping and stealing from them were able to do so without impunity.

This was also the point where Dream just started making up new rules; there was no rule against having governments on the server, or making a separate area where Dream’s rules wouldn’t apply, so Dream banned governments, and used this new rule as an excuse to kill them, take their items, and tear their land to shreds.

And that’s another thing: the punishments for breaking Dream’s rules are INCREDIBLY harsh.

Kill him non-canonically one time? Your most prized possessions will now be dangled over your head and used to hurt you for the next few months.

Make a country with different laws that doesn’t infringe on anyone’s territory, has no desire to expand, is explicitly pacifistic and open to trade negotiations? You’ll be forced to fight a war you’re in no way equipped to fight, you’ll be betrayed and murdered and have your land destroyed in front of your very eyes until you literally have no choice but to surrender.

Mildly vandalize the king’s house, which nobody else has ever been punished for? You’ll be dragged into court, exiled from your home, and subjected to weeks of abuse until you believe that all of your friends hate you and you actively want to kill yourself.

Hide some stuff in a secret chest? Your only shelter will be exploded, your pet/only food source will be killed, all your items will be destroyed, you’ll be banned from the Nether, and none of your friends will be allowed to come see you.

This is all such disproportionate retribution it’s ridiculous. It’s like punishing someone for speeding by blowing up their car with a ballistic missile.

So to sum up: Dream’s rules are arbitrarily enforced, and he can just straight up make them up on the spot if he feels like it. Sometimes, he won’t tell you a rule exists until you’ve already broken it, and you’re treated as if you broke it out of malice instead of genuine ignorance. And if you do break a rule, and he decides you have to be punished, it will always be a punishment so harsh it doesn’t even ATTEMPT to fit the crime.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty fucking corrupt and tyrannical to me.

When people say Tommy deserved exile, or made Dream spiral into villainy, or abused Dream somehow (seriously I’ve seen this take multiple times and every time it makes my brain melt) by breaking the rules, I would invite them to take a step back and ask themselves, why did that rule exist? Did Tommy know it existed? Was it enforced for everyone other than him as well? Does the punishment fit the crime?

Dream has a bad habit of making up rules, or enforcing old ones that were never enforced before, to punish those who threaten his power. None of the Dream Team were ever punished for anything, despite committing the same crimes as the L’Manburgians. That is, until they founded Mexican L’Manburg (i.e. went against Dream’s rule), at which point they were attacked by Dream and George was dethroned for “not being neutral enough.”

Tommy should’ve faced consequences for what he did. But those consequences should’ve come naturally, and been carried out by the people he hurt. Like, if Dream hadn’t intervened, griefing George’s house would’ve resulted in George griefing Tommy back in revenge. In fact, he DID do that, by turning Tommy’s entire house into granite and putting the Jump In The Cadillac picture on his front lawn.

These are natural, proportionate consequences. Exile was none of that. The Disc War was none of that. Everything that happened to L’Manburg was none of that.

Dream’s rules and how he enforces them are inherently corrupt and tyrannical. To pretend it’s anything but is disingenuous at best.

[theminecraftbox]

The image of Tommy, Quackity, and possibly Sapnap bursting into prison because they think Sam and Dream have staged some evil plan together, only to find Dream in the main cell shut into a corner and in horrible pain... ouch. That's going to be quite a shock for them, and awfully humiliating for Dream.

Bonus points if Punz joins their little break-in group for some reason, or catches word that they think the imprisonment was staged, and just goes "...haha... maybe..."

/dsmp /rp

@dr3amofagame and I have been hashing out some details about this :)

Quackity and Tommy are annoyed and upset and suspicious about Sam’s behavior.

Tommy wants his closure, seeing Dream in a box, and he wants Wilbur revived: what’s the point of Dream still being alive and locked up if he can’t do the one thing they spared him for?!

Quackity just wants to get to the bottom of this mess. What’s Sam hiding, does he or Dream have the book, are they working together, is the book even fucking real? He’s still bitter over Sam’s rejection, too—and he’s weirded out by how Sam spoke to him when he requested a visit. There was so much accusation and familiarity.

So they hatch a plan. It’s a really dumb plan, involving ender pearls and cows and ding dong ditching and invis potions and probably costume changes. But the Looney Tunes Crew is off and away: Tommy, Quackity, and Ghostbur are sneaking into the prison.

Somehow, it actually works. Sam’s gotten—complacent isn’t quite the right word, but he’s been satisfied that his changes to the timeline have prevented further attempts at visits or infiltrations.

The three reach the main cell and are confronted with a wall of glass. Behind that wall is Dream, thin and pale and manacled and staring at them like he can’t believe his eyes. These are the first people other than Sam he’s seen in three months. Sometimes he’d wondered if he’d forgotten what other people look like. (He wonders if he’s hallucinating. But why would his mind conjure these three?)

Quackity demands the book. Dream flatly, automatically, refuses. Tommy demands Dream revive Wilbur. Dream hesitates.

Tommy, who came in ready to make a point to Dream (and maybe rough him up a bit) has TNT on him. The glass is destroyed and the alarm goes off. Sam is on his way.

Panic! Time is short. “Get me out of here,” Dream demands, “and I’ll do anything you want! Please, Sam’s crazy, get me out of here and I’ll give you the book, I’ll revive whoever.”

Which is of course met by flat denial (and swearing) from Tommy and Quackity. Quackity shoves a book and quill into Dream’s hands: “Write it right now, Dream, right fucking here, or I swear to god I’ll use this axe.”

Dream tries another tack: “Look, I can’t even use the book in here. It needs, um, a full moon and thirteen cactus?” It doesn’t work. Tommy tells him, “then write it out and tell us how, bitch.” Sam is so near. Dream can hear his voice echoing through the prison. Or is that just his imagination?

Sam’s on the other side of the lava now. It’s not just in Dream’s head. He’s screaming at Tommy and Quackity and Ghostbur to step away from the prisoner. All five of them are panicking. (It’s only a few days after Ghostbur’s death in the original timeline. Sam had breathed a huge sigh of relief when the date passed. This is a NIGHTMARE.)

Sam presses a button. A dispenser clicks: poison and weakness fall on everyone but Ghostbur (who’s lingering by the lava, lost and confused). Tommy and Quackity scream in pain and surprise. Dream goes dead quiet.

Everyone is yelling and there are only moments left. Dream knows he’s not getting out of here, not like this. So he makes a snap decision: ignoring the pain and nausea, he scrawls out the words of the book, he strides forward (stepping out of his tiny glass cage for the first time in months), and he tosses it in the lava. Then he pushes Ghostbur in right after it. A flash of light. A last gambit. Dream can only pray to god Wilbur thinks kindly of him.

That’s it. Sam pearls into the cell. He orders Dream back against the wall, Dream obeys. Then Sam rounds on Tommy and Quackity.

What follows is chaotic and violent. Sam screams imprecations in Quackity’s face, Quackity screams right back. Quackity has been a specter hanging over Sam’s head for months. All this time he’s spent torturing punishing Dream, it’s been because Sam was AVOIDING Quackity’s involvement! (And Tommy’s involvement, and Ghostbur’s!) This is Quackity’s fault!! And HOW did he even get in here!

Sam is bigger and stronger and better equipped than Quackity. Sam ignores Tommy’s screams and Quackity’s begging—and then there’s blood soaking Quackity’s shirt, and there are fingers on the floor. Then Sam drives Warden’s Will right through Quackity’s chest. One more life gone. Quackity’s body vanishes. Far away in Las Nevadas, Quackity sits up screaming, cradling his hand to his chest and thinking bloody, bloody thoughts.

Tommy, shell shocked, is dragged out of the cell by the scruff of his neck. Sam promises Dream he’ll be back soon. Dream sinks to the ground, stares at the broken glass, and waits.

[defectfile1wav]

Once again, I’m here to remain all of you, that If you think c!Slimecicle is a replacement for Ghostbur you’re losing one of the best and terrifying experiences ever in the SMP.

/CW: Mentions of:  Dead animals/ Death / Vore / Torture / AND:  Swearing / Ranting / meta (??) and bad English

COMPARING THESE TWO, IT’S LIKE COMPARING THE BEACH WITH THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA. 

One thing is a vacation place, the other is a terrifying place that will murder me.

When I said that I am terrified of Slimecicle, I MEAN IT. As cc!Charlie has said in his last video: 

“A thousand century old glop trying to learn what means being human”

IT’S LIKE JUST A CONCEPT THAT JUST GIVES SO MUCH HORROR. Ghostbur was naive, it was, Slimecicle is naive in human things, he’s a SLIME, not a dead person with sense of humanity, he’s going to murder someone in the blink of an eye and I can feel it in my skin. 

Ghostbur was a person, he was a person, an adult, with memory lose, naive, BUT HE’S HUMAN. HE HAD HUMANITY. HE HAD A SOUL. He did some weird shit sometimes, but what was the worse he could cause? A salmon dead? A confused laugh? A weird look?

c!Charlie is a monster. AN ALIEN, IF YOU WISH, BUT NOT THE FRIENDLY HITMAN PURPLED.

A dog alone is a dog, with two is a different history. I KNOW IT BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN DOGS, really inoffensive dogs, BECOMING DEATH MACHINES WHEN THEY ARE TOGETHER. HUNTING LITTLE ANIMALS FOR FUN, CATS, EVEN OTHER DOGS, BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO OF THEM. And they don’t realize it’s wrong, because THEY ARE ANIMALS. 

Slimecicle is an animal. 

When he fails at being a human, and he will, and he decides that pretending to be a human isn’t worth it for whatever he wants, WE ARE DEAD. I know that maybe that won’t happen, because cc!Charlie is more a funny guy (he goes into some dark shit sometimes, but he always come back to the funny content), but that idea has been in the back of my head for days now. 

You know, that idea that maybe Ghostbur was evil? Because he said he liked red ONCE. Guess what, Slimecicle he’s an animal, AN ANIMAL DOESN'T HAVE CONTEXT OF WHAT IT’S EVIL OR GOOD, AND YOU KNOW WHAT ANIMALS DO, WHAT DECISION PROCESS THEY TAKE? SURVIVAL. HE’S TERRIFYING. When he realizes that he’s more powerful than the others, that he can whatever he wants, when he decides that playing “human” are not worth it. WE ARE GOING TO HAVE VORE IN THIS HOUSE, AND I’M NOT READY FOR THAT AGAIN. YOU THOUGHT TORTURE IS BAD? BE READY WHEN THIS BEAST STARTS EATING KIDS ALIVE. 

Every time that I saw him in the screen I’m anxious, I’m anxious for any character that makes contact with him. I was so worried about Tommy, for Purpled, for Connor, even Quackity. 

Quackity is controlling him for now, he gained a pretty good weapon, but if he loses control, I’m certain he will end up death or worse. 

ALSO, HE KNOWS SO MUCH. SO MUCH. Ghostbur, love him, WAS A FORGETFUL INNOCENT SOUL THAT WASN’T ABLE TO ACCEPT CHANGES, GHOSTBUR FORGET THINGS. CHARLIE DOESN'T. HE KNOWS SO FUCKING MUCH. 

You know how fucking scary is that a slime with human bones, that you NEVER had seen in your life, addresses by YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS. HE KNOWS WHERE YOU’RE FROM, WHERE YOU LIVE. 

HE KNOWS DREAM, HE KNOWS TOMMY, HE KNOWS WILBUR, HE KNOWS L’MANBERG, HE KNOWS THE WHOLE HISTORY, WITHOUT ANY BIAS, BECAUSE HE’S A MONSTER THAT HAS BEING WATCHING EVERY MOVE FROM THE DARK.   

He’s a slime. 

FEAR HIM. 

PURPLED IS IN THE RIGHT MIND TO BE HOSTILE WITH HIM, TO ASK WHY HE HAS BONES THAT AREN’T FROM HIM, FUNDY IS VALID TO BE SCARED OF HIM.  

IF HE HAS SEEN ALL THE HISTORY WITHOUT BEING SEEING, WHY IS CHOOSING TO BE SUCH BAD SPY NOW?

WHY NOW. What happened, what’s the reason for THIS THING TO WANT TO BE A HUMAN? WHY NOW? What is he planning? Why he chose to show himself to Quackity first? To be his best friend? WHY.

WHEN THEY REALIZE THAT HE IS NOT JUST A “SLIME BOY” IT WILL BE TOO LATE. 

“And then one day, history itself will fall by the wayside and give way to the inevitable“ Slimecicle

I’m so scared, AND I LOVE IT. 

Argh, I love you Charlie, the lore is so good, I swear. 

Maybe I am reading to much into it, but it’s my shit.