#anyway c!dream is such an interesting character! i hate him!

[itsjustmylifeconfessions]

Whenever I doubt myself I remember that there are people with 0 brain cells that are writing the biggest show in the world.

Blood and cheese was terribly done. Absolutely awful writing, especially adding Alicent and Cole at the end, that was ridiculous. To make Daemon want Aemond instead of actually having him order the killing of a boy? I hate how scared they are to make team black bad people. They are all bad people, from both teams. Daemon ordered the murder of a child but these idiots don't want to make team black the bad guys, ever, so let's write him not ordering this and make it another misunderstanding, why not?

Ridiculous.

It's not just about b&c, but their refusal of making team black grey characters, from the start, is so stupid. They can't be villains, they are the heroes, good people suffering an injustice, and we can't have our heroes doing a terrible thing like this!

That is the mentality of a middle school writer working on a kid's play. If you can only write black and white characters you shouldn't be writing for asoiaf.

The interesting part of the story is that they are all doing bad things, that's why fans like the book so much, cause it's fucking interesting to see them all doing bad shit.

I'm not upset cause I'm team green, I just hate bad writing so much...

Yes I'm aware that Daemon smirked when the guy asked what to do if they can't find Aemond, probably telling them to get one of the kids instead (but not showing us this of course cause we can't have even more proof that this man is a piece of shit), but that is not the same as him actually ordering the murder of a little boy with his own words as the first choice.

They turned one of the most gruesome and horrible moments in the story into a 3 min point and run moment, with a laughable 'catching your mom having sex is weird right?' ending. This takes away all the pain we are supposed to be feeling in that moment. This takes so much from Helaena as well, what the book describes is so fucking sad and gives her character so much more depth.

I also wish they had given more for Phia to work with, she was incredible but that was a pivotal moment for her character and she deserved to be given more in that scene. And don't tell me they didn't do it like the book because it would be traumatic for the kids because yes it is possible to shoot that with and without the kids, you just have to be specific about the framing and shots you use, it's all about camera work.

Do I understand Helaena dissociation in that moment? Absolutely. Did I want to see a little boy getting his head cut off? Absolutely not, no one did, we are not psychopaths. But it does piss me off that they wrote such a pivotal scene in such a bad way, that was supposed to be red wedding levels of shock and pain, and the most shocking thing was Alicent on top of Criston (good for her tbh she deserves to have fun).

They have been terrible writers from the start, for both teams (Rhaenys in the coronation is pure comedy to me), but this to me is painful how bad it was. The only good thing about that scene is Phia's acting.

Anyway that's just how I feel about it. I have so many thoughts about this but I don't think I'll write more, so I'll just say this:

Don't give up on your dreams guys. Anyone can do it. Anyone.

[cdroloisms]

ctechno was not the nice dude everyone wants him to be

oooh interesting take lmao. im gonna insert a courtesy "c!techno is generally a good person and does good" disclaimer bc like, c!techno is generally a good person that does good and cares about people and gets ridiculous amounts of hates for stupid things all the damn time, for the record, but also ... i cant say i dont get what you mean in part?

i think there's a phenomenon with c!techno sometimes where people can make him either too much of a paragon or strip him of too much agency in a way that's weird to me. i mean like, "he's canonically 3 years old" jokes aside, this guy isn't someone whos just doomed to be taken advantage of everyone unless they "respect his boundaries 🥺🙏" and can't assert himself at all and whatever, yknow? like, he can AND DOES assert himself when he thinks it's necessary. he can AND DOES act like an asshole sometimes!

like c!techno is a full, well-rounded character. he gets too angry sometimes and does shit he regrets. he has to make efforts to change. he has feelings, he gets hurt, he lashes out. he's too dismissive sometimes because he copes with shit through humor. he isn't perfect, and that's ... a good thing? it's a good thing that he's a full well rounded interesting character with flaws. but at the same time, pointing out said flaws and treating them as flaws isn't damnation!

like, for example, right, it's perfectly understandable for him to feel used and betrayed by c!tommy. was he also kinda mean to c!tommy in the aftermath in a way that can be pointed out? i mean. yeah of course! and like, of course he was grieving and hurt and in a lot of emotional pain when c!ranboo died and did that probably play into his attitude towards c!dream post-prison break? absolutely! was stripping a guy that is literally being chased down by his literal torturers and a server of people who want to kill him of his armor and telling him he can keep a weapon For A Favor and then going "awwh we didnt get him to use his necromancy powers :/" absolutely still kind of a generally asshole-y thing to do? i mean, YEAH ???? like, if they werent doing that bc of some kind of plan, that was still kind of a jerk thing to do? in a way that's very understandable, because c!techno is a character that becomes more of a jerk when he's stressed and in emotional turmoil. and this isnt about damning him or condemning him ... but i don't see the point of erasing said moments either.

shrug anyway i think c!techno overall was a pretty damn nice dude and a good guy and im kind of trusting that u dont mean this in the same way as certain c!techno takes ive seen back in the day that felt like crucifying him every time he made a joke that broke the fourth wall aSKFJLasf. c!techno should've been meaner, actually, for the record. and it's so awesome that he put c!sam in a prison and cask of amontillado'd that guy, GOD BLESS

[autisticempathydaemon]

hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[maryonaccross]

Hello, love your blog. I was wondering what are the things you would like to see in the next season(s) of HotD? Honestly, I'm not really hopeful and was quite disappointed how they handled some important characters and storylines in season 1, but I'll give a chance to season 2. If it disappoints me, well, at least I tried. The thing that worries me the most is the fact that it will only have 8 episodes because I think that could only harm the pacing. Anyway, here are some of the things I would like to see:

1. First of all, I want Alicent to stop being so apologetic and finally show some teeth. Team blank already hates her with passion and I want to see her acting for real like they were pretending she was acting in season 1. Let her be decisive, resentful of Rhaenyra, unconditionally supporting and protective of her children. I don't want to see any of "my old childhood friend" bullshit anymore. It was a good idea to start the story, but that is also something that should have been dead and buried long ago, especially after Driftmark. How could she actually approach Rhaenyra after the dinner and act all apologetic and humble again, even after that same "friend" asked for her maimed son to be "sharply questioned". No mother should get over it and I don't want to see "Rhaenyra is actually the most important to Alicent" narrative again. It would also be interesting to see the development of her relationship with Criston, not necessarily in a romantic way.

2. More Helaena screentime and her dreams/visions. I would like them to give her more importance and agency than she had in the book, especially after B&C. Explore her relationship with her family, make her an actual character, not just a "weird bug girl," "an innocent victim",...Same goes for Aemond and Aegon. I want to see Aegon as a complex character struggling with his new position, but also learning how to be more responsible and perceptive. Give me some intense scene between him and Aemond where they actually confront each other and finally express the way they see their place in the Targaryen family, how they cope(d) with their father's neglect, maybe discussion about Helaena and her abilities. I would really like to see some scenes between the green kids like the ones the Lannisters had in GoT, especially in the early seasons. This show needs something like that because it lacks depth when it comes to certain relationships. And yes, they better finally give Dreamfyre and Sunfyre the attention they deserve.

3. As for Aemond, I must say I'm not looking forward to his Harrenhal storyline, I prefer him in KL and interacting with his family. Furthermore, I'm not an Alys fan, when it comes to Aemond ships I'm more Rhaemond (will never become canon, I know) and Helaemond (might become canon, but not very likely) so I believe this Alysmond relationship will probably be something like Daemyra, deeply problematic and toxic, but quite popular among the fans. I just hope they won't make it some great love story because it won't make much sense imho. And of course, more scenes between him and Vhagar to show their bond and similarities. I'll never forgive them not including her roar when he lost an eye.

4. Give Baela and Rhaena more agency. Maybe some confrontation with their father and/or stepmother wouldn't hurt. If they really intend to depict Baela as Daemon no2 I'll probably hate her lol, but three is still hope for Rhaena. I've always imagined that she would be disgusted with B&C.

5. Include Sara Snow storyline. Regardless of what some people say, there are no romantic feelings between Jace and Baela imo and she will probably have another romantic interest, so why not give something to Jace to make his story more interesting? I don't believe in Cregan xJace and the way some TB fans defend that relationship as more acceptable and less harmful to his betrothal to Baela is ridiculous. Cheating is cheating, so why Sara isn't acceptable, but Cregan is? And anyway, that betrothal was forced upon them to cover for Rhaenyra's mistakes, so let Jace be rebellious for once, not just meek and dutiful. We've seen his darker side so they could explore that a bit more.

6. Please, don't make Nettles Daemon's daughter. Honestly, this is a tough one since their relationship was strange in the book too, but whatever they do, I hope they won't make her his daughter.

7. Don't make B&C a botched kidnapping or something. That would be too much and could actually make me stop watching

8. Show more cases of the dragons acting on their own, like Vhagar and Arax at Shipbreaker's Bay. Explore more "the idea that we control the dragons is an illusion". I want to see that on both sides, it would especially be interesting with the more experienced riders.

9. A good Rhaenyra vs Alicent confrontation scene. At least one.

10. No more Larys/Alicent scenes like the one in episode 9. Please.

Hey, thanks so much for the ask!

To be honest, you perfectly summarized everything I’d like to see in season two although my hopes are extremely low. The first season was a complete disaster with characters changing personalities every five seconds I don’t even want to know what they’ll turn season two into.

I think the only things I have to add are that I don’t want them giving all of Aegon’s storylines to Aemond. The writers have really gone out of their way to make Aegon as unlikable as possible and if it wasn’t for TGC’s efforts the character would be entirely unlikable. Aegon’s main redeeming quality in the books was his love for his family and his siblings so I’ll probably stop watching if they show him being in a brothel while blood and cheese happens, or if they’ll have Aemond executing them instead of Aegon.

Also, concerning blood and cheese, I have heard rumors/theories about how Dyana is supposedly going to be involved in it which I find absolutely atrocious. What are you trying to achieve at this point?? First you have to make him a rapist for some reason, and now you want to make his rape victim look like a terrible person by making her an accomplice to child murder.

I hate what they did to Beala in Rhaela, their inheritance was stolen and apparently they’re completely thrilled being the cupbearers of the woman their father married days after their mothers death and who is rumored to have killed their uncle. I hate how they took away all their agency and made them happy being married to Rhaenyra sons.

Most of all, I want the show to stop picking sides and nitpicking what they want to present as abuse and what they’re going to ignore (you can’t say anyone who supports Aegon is a rape apologist, while giving pedo wifekiller Daemon a free pass)

The only way to make the next season interesting is by depicting both sides as nuanced and morally Grey instead of making it into a good vs evil shit show 

[saltwatersweets]

How did you get into dsmp, when did it start, who are your favs, who do you dislike, any hot takes, what did you think of the finale, what species do you hc the characters

1. i started watching dreams content early april 2020, at a little before 3 mil subscribers! i started watching dteam clips not too long after and so knew about the dream smp’s existence early early on, before there was lore. however i only used youtube at the time and didn’t even know there was lore at all until i saw sad-ist’s first dsmp animation (i have been a fan of hers since i was around twelve or thirteen; its funny that the dsmp introduced a lot of people to sad-ist but for me sad-ist introduced me to the dsmp!) a couple months later when lore started really picking up i started posting more about it on social media.

2. i think youre asking for fave characters, in which case im pretty basic. top five are likely gonna have to be 1) c!dream, 2) c!quackity, 3) c!sam, 4) c!tommy, and then i’d say c!techno, c!niki, and c!tubbo are all tied for fifth!

3. i wouldnt say i outright dislike any characters. i personally never really cared for c!schlatt and i especially havent really cared much for c!wilbur since like, the election arc. nothing against them personally, or fans of those characters, they just dont really interest me personally. that might change soon though!!

(this ended up being so long so more under the cut 💀)

4. i suppose my only real hot take is that again, the justification for what c!dream went through during prison arc can easily be used to justify what c!tommy went through during exile arc; i believe there are certain things that no one can deserve to go through and torture/manipulation like that are two of those things. i’ve already said that before but its really my only lore hot take i’d say i can word well (i have a lot of thoughts in my head and never have ANY idea how to word them 😭)

as for any hot takes regarding ccs, i wouldnt say i have any big ones either but they might put me in hot water with some people anyway LOL. i believe that everyone should be given chances to change for the better and that a person having bigoted views in the past because of how they were raised and no longer having them in the present is a Good Thing!! no one should be expected to be perfect for their entire lives. positive change is always good i think and it should be encouraged, for any cc and person in general. finally regarding any friendships in the dsmp that are broken now, i dont want to blame one single person in any friendship. we don’t know what fully happened behind the scenes and nor should we ever - its private.

5. this question ended up being perfect timing because i JUST caught up on the finale like two hours ago 😭 havent watched all the full streams but have seen the major clips so i could understand what happened. i was actually just about to post about it, but i loved it!! i’m a big c!discduo apologist and enjoy how it handled both their characters. c!tommy did do bad things (though that doesnt mean he deserved the bad things done to him)!! c!dream did a Lot of bad things (though that doesn’t mean HE deserved the bad things done to him)!!

i thought the way it handled their characters was pretty good for a minecraft roleplay and i find the fact that it caused so much discourse (especially about someone who from what i know wasnt even a main writer for it?) pretty stupid lmao. especially when i see tommy fans saying the finale sucked when from what i know tommy was one of the people who had a huge part in writing it?? lmao 😭 (not hating on tommy or his fans i just think its funny). i think that expecting a perfect and neat story of abuse on a MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY full of a bunch of minecraft streamers in their teens/early twenties was asking for disappointment.

i think the finale ended up being really profound especially with the irl stuff going on at the time (and what was to come in the future). how broken friendships played such a huge role on the server and just a year or so later many of the irl friendships would be broken. one thing that especially got to me was how much of a point was made that immortality wasnt right and it was important to live your life and enjoy it with the people you love while you can; that the best things are temporary because you can appreciate them. it was a natural evolution of c!dreams character of course (a necromancer who wanted his world to go back to how it used to be) but the fact that the finale streams happened only a few months after techno’s actual passing was not lost on me.

as for the final couple minutes themselves, i am a little conflicted. i would have loved the story to end with everyone keeping their memories and the idea that they’ll have to figure out how to live after doing everything theyve done; how to make peace with everyone WITH their memories. i’m not sure how season 2 would have gone but the fact is that we’ll never get a season 2 and that this is the ending we’re left with. especially how in a way c!dreams plan to “reset” the server seemed to come to fruition; i think it would have been a better ending for his and the other characters if again they had to live with their memories of what theyd done and try to move on like that. it wasnt really the type of ending that i was hoping the dsmp would have, but i think it served its purpose well. love the c!discduo being friends though!! and i also love seeing fics that take place during “season 2” and after the nuke went off, those always end up being super interesting to me.

6. any of my species headcanons are EXTREMELY basic lmao. duck hybrid c!quackity, creeper hybrid c!sam, goat hybrid c!tubbo, etc etc. i have no big headcanons i’d say - i totally see c!tommy and c!dream as both being 100% human though. i’d say thats my only real headcanon regarding hybrids and species. ive got a lot of headcanons but not too much about that specifically.

[oldmanontumbler]

Okay, on the last day of One Piece Rarepairs Week, I wanted to give a stage and "send-off" to the pair integral to me starting One Piece.

"Big News" Morgans and Stussy.

This was back in 2019, and with the hope that I may someday see their friendship (and maybe more!) in full glory, I began this thousand-chapter endeavor.

Times change. Both Stussy and Morgans have had more appearances these two years alone than since their farewell at Egghead (together, I may add). A certain man we all know and hate once declared that "people's dreams never die."

I used to use the thought of this imaginary friendship to freaking tether myself from dying, for crying out loud. Sometimes, all it takes is something simple, and you grit your teeth and choose to wake up again. But time has flown. I don't know what the future will bring, and there are far more important things to care about. So consider this a last hurrah, a send-off to this crux of a friendship that may still yet emerge from the shadows.

Thank you two for these past years. Your path is finally unfolding. Thank you.

Image credit for the first image is my best friend, Zby; the third image was made by the lovely HimboAppreciator, who has since deactivated.

More AYBF ("ah, yes, best friends" - how I would address them) under the cut for those who care.

So! AYBF.

I became interested in them because they seemed like a friendship built on the strain of the fact that they could never truly be friends, walk alongside one another, while they were each committed to their goal. They both have their own mission, and that will always come first. They're allies. That's all that they are. But... maybe... maybe it's futile to think so, but if once all of this is done, maybe something could truly bloom. We wouldn't have to be secret allies, meeting in shadows, exchanging information and stealing moments. Maybe... we could be friends. Maybe there's a world where we chose to be.

Anyways! Other AYBF things:

If you look at Stussy's Vivre Card, it says that "Morgans is one of the few people to actually know of her identity and mission." All the stuff we've learned about Stussy in Egghead, he's already known. And Stussy is secretive. They've been allies for years. Sure, they exchange information, but you don't give something like this to someone you don't trust.

Both characters know how strong the other is, but neither fear the other. Hell, at Big Mom's party, when everyone is tripping over themselves to call her "Lady Stussy," Morgans is the only one who freely tells her exactly how he feels. "Hey, Stussy, knock it off! Do you WANT the Strawhats to get into danger?!"

Remember when Morgans pulverized a CP0 (!!!!!!) agent for trying to meddle with his paper? That paper is his pride and sharing the news HIS WAY is his joy. He's dead-set on how headlines and contents will look (something that Vivi's been deriding him over). But when Stussy said that "Luffy is a mastermind pretending to be an idiot," Morgans put that in! Into his paper! The paper that no one but Morgans is allowed to influence!

He allowed her to sneak away from the party on his special no-CP0-allowed airship and shared his theories about the Worst Gen with her ♡

Yes, this sounds far-fetched, but I still have faith. ♡

Also, check out these AYBF emojis:

*C|:^

`▪︎=[:4

They have exactly ONE fan-fiction on AO3. It is by a writer called "TwelthNights," and it is in Chinese, I believe. It's wholly sexual, and written before the events of Egghead, but I deeply treasure it.

Thank you for making it this far. This journey has been dear to me. I hope we meet again.

@oprarepairweek thank you for this.

[fictionfixations]

a nrc dorm tier list imo would be like..

(based on compatibility, besides preferences)

Heartslabyul

….why is thinking about it making me suddenly blank out on what every other dorms name is. wtf.

After a second option which idfk what dorm it is, would be Octavinelle. Ish cool. I'd probably be one of the sea creatures that'd die in the ocean tho.

..I've completely left the ranked by order of favorites option. So now I'm just saying what I like, with heartslabyul uncontensted.

I like Pomefiore's dorm uniforms, although I'd probably combust trying to remember everything when im as scatterbrained as Kalim

I took a test to see what dorm I'd be in and got Savanaclaw. Which sucks because I'm not the biggest fan of athletics (running can be fun but i just. hate being outside.), but im, well, as stubborn as an ox. which is funny cause thats my chinese zodiac sign

A dorm I'd probably want to be in instead would be Ignihyde because fuck yeah. introverts. indoor people. game people. anime people… these are my kind of people man >:D (but im horrible at technology stuff. a lot of its probably more memorization but if its not interesting me i dont focus. i swear most of my brain is stuffed to the brim with information about fandoms im not even in anymore and are completely useless to me. and i just. cant forget.?? ITS STUCK THERE. like. uh. dream smp. the existence of c![creator] and cc![creator] for clarification. because iirc, twitter trending was posts of 'DREAM ABUSED TOMMY AND CAUSED HIM TO KERMIT SEWER SLIDE' when it was all minecraft exile arc?? so they had to clarify NO it is not real and is roleplay. or like, this one post i read once of this person making like an essay about the dream smp, so the teacher just thinks its this really elaborate story. and then the last bit is sharing actual images about it, and how they're going to be shocked when they see pixels LMFAO. but like. im not int his fandom anymore, and i think it ended anyway??? so im just. huh??)

if only you could have the option to intentionally forget things and intentionally remember others..

actually clarification on heartslabyul but i ran out of characters on discord since thats where im writing my notes. uhm. i love heartslabyul, everything about it, and the characters and story-- but. in all honesty. if you put me in heartslabyul id do HORRIBLE. i wouldnt get along with riddle at all even though hes my favorite.. id just. get really pissed off. like, cause im really stubborn?? so i do this thing where the more someone tells me to do something the more i dont want to. even when i probably should :'D

anyway. um continuing on. I'd hate Scarabia. me and heat do NOT mix. ive once fainted (well. i was feeling really hot so i was seeing colors. and at one point i just couldnt see anything anymore. but i kept moving cause i was in a line. ..it didnt occur to me to talk to someone bout it??? i just wanted to get to where i knew some cold water awaited me. and then i walked right into a wall and then everything went blank for 10 seconds, thats apparently how long i was out, huh.) also im the type of person who focuses more on literal meanings instead of between the lines..

diasomnia. i honestly dont know that much about it. diasomnias just., nowhere on the list. i cant really put it anywhere can i? honestly id probably cry being yelled at by sebek LMFAO

[theminecraftbox]

What if the prison trio met with Team Free Will 1.0? I’m interested mostly in the differences in morals, but also in the idea of some designs that I’ve seen for c!Sam and c!Quackity. c!Sam, from the designs I’ve seen, looks not even close to human, and that’s without the centaur idea some people choose to add. c!Quackity has been drawn with wings a lot. I’m just curious because I’m not very good at analyzing characters, and you’re amazing at it.

Funnily enough, I think all of TFW would like c!Sam at first glance. Sam W. would see an earnest and somewhat awkward engineer trying to do his best under difficult circumstances; Dean would see a righteous man; Cas would see someone well-meaning fumbling in the dark.

c!Sam has the potential to really appeal to Dean’s sensibilities—under the right set of circumstances (ie circumstances where c!Sam is agreeing with Dean), I think Dean would find c!Sam’s combination of zero tolerance moral extremism and righteous self-martyrdom very sympathetic. Dean and c!Sam would get along like a house on fire when Dean’s in a mood to lock up or murder Jack, for instance.

But this could go over the edge very quickly. I think Sam W. would realize pretty swiftly the type of person c!Sam is, and oppose him vehemently as soon as c!Sam tips his hand or gets a liiittle too gung ho about righteous violence. Dean would be harder to convince, depending on circumstances, again—easy to convince if c!Sam targets someone he likes, less so if otherwise. Cas would soon find his superiority grating, and the abuse of power disgusting.

Dean would like Quackity instantly. Sure, this kid is trying too hard to look tough, but Dean’s been there. In general, Dean probably wouldn’t be terribly phased by Quackity’s violence; I think it wouldn’t be hard for Dean to be convinced that Quackity only tortures people who deserve it, for information that’s important. Cas would imitate Dean and try gamely to laugh along with Quackity’s jokes. Sam W would hate him instantly: the machismo, the way Dean likes him, the falseness.

Dean would loathe c!Dream. c!Dream’s cavalier, smug, ~reasonable~ villain persona is perfect to make Dean despise him on sight. It would be even worse if Dean has managed to hear stories from other members of the server first. Kill the fucker. Some people are way past saving.

I feel like Cas would guiltily like c!Dream, admiring and sympathizing with his attitude while condemning him. Cas has done worse to try to preserve his own home, hasn’t he? He gets it. He’s been taught better, of course. But he gets it.

Sam W would look at c!Dream and see the damage and his stomach would twist. He’d hear the plan to destroy death and he’d think about his soulless self and he’d feel sick. He’d look at the prison and look at the scars and hear a cell, a Warden, a torturer, alone, one year. He’d listen to c!Dream laughing about how it’s his home, and how he and c!Sam are friends now anyway, and he’d understand. Honestly, Sam W would probably try to pull off some variety of dewy eyed speech, “I’ve been where you are, I know how it feels to be hopeless, this isn’t the answer, you can make peace, you don’t have to keep doing unethical science” etc etc.

It wouldn’t work, of course. He and c!Dream don’t have the history. It would just make him angry.

[llitchilitchi]

IT WAS THE ROMANCE IS DEAD VIDEO its so good!! i get you, id only heard vaguely of the comic "romanticising murder" before (which seemed like people generally finding reasons to hate on a comic that i thought was more lighthearted) but omg it is so much more graphic then i imagined. i read a couple random chapters after finishing the video its. way too much for me pspsksj

theres like some similarities (as soon as he was saying about the murder guy breaking the other guys legs to stop him escaping and showing panels of him crawling on the ground i thought of the copacetic au) but killing stalking seems way more graphic and dark in ways that i (personally) find uncomfottable that the au doesnt, i just thought some of the general themes were similar which was interesting

anyway sorry for rambling in your ask box psksjjs, i was just curious!

no need to be sorry at all anonnie, it's cool to see people talking about this stuff!!

when I first heard of killing stalking it was because people were shamelessly shipping the two main characters and I went into it with the full intent of 'okay, this is just a weird yaoi manhwa with some fucked up elements' so when I actually got thru the first few chapters I got whiplash of just how much the story was Not That. a lot of it stuck with me for all the wrong reasons.

it's a really heavy read and the fact that the artist shows us A Lot of it was one of the reasons I had to stop reading myself. I've noticed it since I first started posting comics online myself (back in October 2021) but describing these things verbally is a lot easier to stomach than actually seeing it depicted, especially if it's shown directly. I think it really hit me when I drew a comic where c!dream died during torture. makes it more real to see it, I suppose?

ironically enough I think that the leg thing is the one part of the story that I'm almost entirely sure was Not inspired by KS, though now that you mentioned it, it probably was to an extent. I may have mentioned it before but a lot of the stuff around copacetic!Dream's legs was inspired by a Slovak novel Ťapákovci that we had to read in high school and I've seen a theatre play of with some really fucked up takes on the disability of one of the main characters

[kusukixcrystal]

MM Classpecting: Jaehee

Zen Classpect

Yoosung Classpect

Jaehee:

Personality/General Info: Kind and hardworking. Independent, serious, and caring. Has own sense of humor. Organized. Dislikes when things are not according to schedule, or receives extra work. She is responsible, so she deals with it anyway. Works at C&R with Jumin, her boss. She is Catholic. Likes Zen and his musicals. Likes coffee, to the point she develops a big enough passion to open up a cafe in her route. Hates cat hair. Is the most suspicious member of MC when she first joins the RFA. Becomes protective over Zen’s career. Jumin trusts Jaehee, but she gets frustrated with him. Still loyal though. Doesn’t like Yoosung’s game addiction, but cares about him. He sees her as an older sister. With 707 she respects his work abilities, but is exasperated by his jokes. Short hair and glasses due to her job, because Jumin is worried that his father would flirt with her otherwise.

Jaehee’s mom married her father, who was 20 years older than her. He dies, then her mother when she was in the 9th grade. She is sent to be raised by her aunt and uncle. Gets scholarship to university and graduated early. V talked to Jumin and proposed the idea of hiring Jaehee into the RFA.

Role in Narrative: She is far away from the main plot, due to her lack of connection to Rika/V/707. In her route, her character arc is taking a risk and following her dreams. Stability may be safe (Job at C&R), but it’s killing her. Following her passion for coffee is risky, but having freedom to do what she wants matters more. Her childhood led to this need for stability, losing both her parents made her want to not be a burden to her uncle and aunt. She tried to do everything right in life: study, get into a good university and a good job. She has stability but she isn’t happy, slaving away at a demanding job for both C&R and RFA. She is the player’s breather route between the madness that is all of Mystic Messenger. In main story she supports the RFA with tedious paperwork matters, helping in the efforts for the Mint Eye mission. A supporting role along with Jumin.

Active or Passive: She studied hard, got a scholarship and started working at C&R all for the purpose of supporting herself. This is a selfish act (not the negative connotation of the word btw). She defends Zen often and supports him relentlessly, buying tickets to support him, which is selfless. She does a lot for the RFA and C&R. She does alot in the SEs with the Mint Eye mission, not for her sake, but for the RFA’s. Purely looking at what she does in the main plot (DS, 707 Route and SE), she is passive.

Classpect - Sylph of Mind: One who makes Mind, or makes through Mind for others.

How this applies to Jaehee: Jaehee does want to know what is happening around her, being the one who is most concerned about MC joining the RFA, for example, or needling Jumin if he fails to show up to work, trying to figure out wth is going on. In Zen’s route, she pries into his business alot when MC and Zen start showing romantic interest, even though Zen’s relationship is up to him, and she should have stayed out of it. Constantly suggested to go over to Zen’s house to help him when he was injured, even though MC could go instead. She is passionate about his musicals, excitedly rambling about it if MC shows interest in it (its so cute when she does this in phone calls <3). This is in contrast to how she usually is like to people she is not close with, formal and rigid. Same goes for coffee, where she obsessively starts researching deeply into it. Compared to the other RFA members, her relevance in the main story is little to none, being the farthest from Rika and V. Still, she is an indispensable member of the RFA, keeping a lot of it running in the sidelines.

A restrained Sylph can fade from relevancy, and I think she is looking at the main story. Her full potential can be seen in her own route. Working for C&R doesn't give her the chance to shine completely.

This is what the Hiveswap Extended Zodiac has to say about the Mind Aspect:

“Those bound to the aspect of Mind are-you guessed it-the universe's great thinkers. But don't for a second think that means that they have all the answers. They are very concerned with remaining rational, and they have such a firm hold on the constant conjunction of their thinking that it's easy for them to see the multitudes of the choices laid out before them, which often leaves them frozen and unable to act. That said, when a Mind-bound finally launches into action, they can execute a plan with unbelievable grace and precision. Their identity is fluid-it can change from day-to-day, from thought-to-thought, from interaction-to-interaction. Remaining logical is more important to them than building up a solid foundation of "self." At their best they are great innovators, architects, and creators. At their worst they can be nasty, inflexible, and indecisive.”

I think Mind is all about choices, thoughts, apathy and another way of viewing 'identity'.

How this applies to Jaehee: Jaehee is a logical and practical person. That is what lead her to where she is in the beginning of MM: working for C&R. She gets sick of all of the work she must undertake, but she she is frozen, afraid of quitting the stability of her job. When she does take action, though, she gets things done. Her role in backing up Jumin for the Mint Eye mission is indispensable. Not only that, but her management of the affairs of both RFA and C&R cannot be understated. She isn't easily replaceable either, as seen when Yoosung or MC tries to take on her role in some bad endings. She can be inflexible at times, an example being in Zen's route and her staunch refusal to let Zen date MC. She thinks its for his own good, but in this case she should listen to what Zen wants (traits seen in Sylphs as I've said before).

As the person furthest away from Rika and V, she has the least emotional investment in all this. This could be part of why she can make decisions without letting emotions cloud her judgement, like Yoosung. She encourages the other members to not be rash, to think through their decisions, even when everything gets intense with the hacker situation or Mint Eye.

Jaehee's Aspect is the opposite of Yoosung's, but both Aspects seem to focus on 'identity' or 'the self'. In Jaehee's case, her sense of self does fluctuate depending on who she speaks to. When MC brings up her love of Zen's musicals, her demeanor switches completely, absolutely elated to discuss her interests (attributes of Sylphs too). With Yoosung, she is gentle, treating him like a younger brother. With Jumin it is all professional, because he is her boss of course. It's difficult to tell which of these are the 'real Jaehee', when in reality her identity is just fluid like that.

Another point to how she acts based primarily based on logic despite her actual wants: Her wearing glasses and her short hair is all for the sake of her job. Jumin instructed her to do this so that Chairman Han doesn't flirt with her. She agrees to this as we see, because it is the logical thing to do. In order to have this job she must meet this dress-code, and she is willing to do this regardless of her real preference. And I do believe her REAL preference is having long hair and no glasses. We see this in her route when she stops wearing her glasses, since she never needed them to see. In her AE and Valentine's Day DLC we see her grow out her hair, showing that now outside of C&R this is how she prefers to present herself. She even looked like this in older pictures of her in-game, back when she was living with her aunt and uncle.

Looking at Jaehee's route, we see how she finally finds a passion for a coffee project, obsessively researching into it (Sylph). Jumin tells her to stop working on it and to focus on another project, but she has difficulty letting it go. For once, she is hesitant to just do what is asked of her, wanting to pursue this coffee interest. Her route focuses a lot on choices, and how Jaehee is at the cusp of making a big one: quitting her job to start-up a cafe. The logical part of her knows how risky it is, and struggles to decide on what to do. She is at a loss, but Zen and MC are there for her, helping her come to a decision. Zen gets her a coffee machine, and ultimately gets her to become less detached to her situation: the fact that she isn't happy with her current place in life. Jaehee reflects on all the choices she's made up to this point, thinking that that was what she was 'supposed' to do, according to society, in order to be happy. In a way, she thought that life was happening to her, when in fact she does have a choice. Her life was shaped by all the decisions she has made, and now it is no different. She gains courage and eventually does start that cafe with MC. In fact, it is successful. In the VD DLC, MC and Jaehee are constantly coming up with new menu options, and Jaehee looks at the recipes and logically thinks about the amount of ingredients, the ratio of them, etc, etc. She wants to improve on everything constantly by adjusting it. She is able to use the knowledge and experience she accumulated from C&R to her benefit.

Her route is less relevant to her role as a Sylph, since in her character arc she is more Active, where she is starting to become more selfish and less selfless. She is more of a Maid of Time/Maid of Mind solely based on her character arc. Though, her Mind Aspect is very prominent here, which is why I wanted to highlight her arc.

As a Sylph of Mind she is making, expanding, improving her Aspect. Since Jaehee is Jumin's assistant, you could say she improves Mind (I.e decisions for the Mint Eye mission). When she sees a lack of Mind somewhere, she will fix it.

Jaehee is a good example for why I think focusing on the character's role in the main narrative is so important. If you only look at Jaehee's route, you can easily gives her a different classpect. A Maid of Time suits the Jaehee we see in her route, making more Time for herself. Or a Maid of Mind, making Mind for herself, essentially making good choices for herself, which we see.

All in all, Jaehee Kang as Jumin Han's assistant is a Sylph of Mind.

[ciaossu-imagines]

Thank you so much. I’m glad since I feel the same. Reading what you have to say at any time of day is always so great. That’s a really great way looking at it and it really made me smile. Do you still remember who those faves were if you don’t mind me asking?

And of course. It honestly takes a lot for me to fully hate a character and even though I do dislike Hajime’s violent behaviour, it’s not enough to make me full on hate him. And I’m sorry to hear you had to deal with someone like that because yeah, some people really are punchable. I hope you don’t have to deal with him again in the future. Your kindness is really admirable. Even though it also takes a lot for me to become violent, I never feel bad about it (even if I do fail because all in all, I’m not exactly that strong or made for hurting others). It’s kind of satisfying sometimes even just almost hurting someone to me.

Of course. You have so much work to do so it’s totally understandable. And it’s really admirable how much you’ve been able to do and that you’re so close to finishing. And what you said about hearing others talk about their faves just made me smile, it’s so sweet and so nicely worded. And it’s really nice that you can see new things in characters because of that. I’m curious, has anything I said made you think of the characters in any other kind of way? Feel like probably not but still curious. Yes. That’s the scene I always think about when it comes down to Kusanagis powers. I also love sharing it with others because it really is so unique and cool. And I’m saying it as a non-smoker.

Which I absolutely love because reading paragraphs of replies is just my favourite to do in DMs or just on Tumblr. In that case, I also wish you the best of luck in your editing. It’s good to know I’m not alone. It’s kind of reassuring in a way because it lets me know you understand. Yes. That would be amazing. I also had another thought because I’m such a Bandō and Shōhei fan, a proper life story of them. Of course not a full life story but some important bits of their lives here and there. Mainly I want to see how young Bandō was when it came down to Saya because I can just imagine that being so cute (I also sent these questions to a friend of mine that I’ll also add because I’ll forever be curious about these: What made baby Bandou fall for her? How did he act towards her (if he could properly interact with her)? You know, anything that tells me what kind of person he was as a kid apart from Shouhei’s babysitter and saviour)  but I also would have loved to see other moments of their past in anime or even manga form because it really does sound so interesting. And yes to everything that you said at the end. They deserve more love and I’ll eat anything new up (even if it takes me a while because this girl still hasn’t read the last chapters of HOMRA in Las Vegas even though she loved it).

Also, since we’re properly talking and I’m on anon I figured I should sign off with something or another so I’ll just call myself C here. Hope that’s alright.

So with that, hope you have a wonderful day.

C

Aww, thank you very much! That’s really sweet and very flattering! I’m always glad when people like talking to me, especially when they’re interesting people! As far as the favourites, I do think most of them were in Black Cat (Sven and Jenos for sure) and Kekkaishi (Rokurou) and I’ve had that same kind of ‘mine, they love me and only me’ fixations with some KHR characters in my extremely early fandom days…but embarrassing secrets – young fandom me writing Ronin Warriors, Dragon Ball Z, Dream Street, and Harry Potter fic by hand definitely got jealous whenever friends liked the same characters as me because I was like ‘now, they’re mine, they love me and only me’. Like I said, I have a much healthier view of it now, especially since I do tend to lean more towards polyships anyway when I self-ship.

Now I completely get you on it taking a lot for you to fully hate a character, because I’m exactly the same. I love really deep diving into characters, analyzing them, figuring out what makes them tick, how they got to be the way they are, and because of that I can almost always find some reasoning or some kernel of something amazing in the characters, making it very, very rare for me to out and outright hate many characters at all. Even villains, when well done, are terrific characters and I do count some villains among my all-time favourite characters, like Creed Diskenth. And thank you for saying that – unfortunately, part of working in the positions I work in means that I have to deal with a lot of really strong personalities, whether or not I like those personalities. And thank you for the compliment but there is a large part of me that says I don’t deserve your admiration, because honestly…I was a very angry, very violent youth. I could make a lot of excuses – a bad home life, running with a group of kids and people in their early twenties that were definitely bad news (not even joking – we went beyond just being delinquents…), bullied to intense degrees, with untreated mental illnesses, but truth be told, I learned in my teen years how easy it is to do extreme physical harm to someone else and that’s a large part of why I hate being violent or even feeling angry and violent now, because I do hold a lot of shame and regret for who I was back then.

And thank you again for your understanding! I’m actually really damn proud to say that, at this point, with 47 queued posts, every single request besides this is answered, though I admit to cheating a little bit! I’ll be making a post here in a couple minutes regarding that and some writing stuff, including a kind of box opening, but I’m actually really happy about it! And since I know exactly who I’m talking to, I can definitely say that you have said quite a few things in our dm’s that have made me pause and really examine some of the things that you’ve said about some characters, such as Yata and Bandou, that have really made me pause and go…hmm, I never thought about that, I’m going to examine this so I can see where they’re coming from and if I can see that too!

I’m so glad somebody finds my verboseness refreshing! And thank you for the wishes of luck! They’re always needed because honestly, I am the worst at editing my own stuff and proofing it, because I either get too critical and delete a lot of good stuff or I get too attached to things that I know should be able to be cut and would be good to cut. But it’s a bitch to find a good proofreader or beta reader, so I do all my own proofing and editing – just takes longer! And you are definitely not alone in that; honestly, I find it a sign of intelligence because it tells me that your brain is coming up with so many things that it’s hard to remember to get them all down in the rush of writing them down! And you know, it’s really funny you mention that because I remember talking to someone a little bit ago in a dm and them mentioning that they would have loved seeing more of the boy’s pasts with each other and I am so down for that. Bandou and Shouhei as kids and how they eventually drifted apart before coming back together. Chitose and Dewa and how they became friends and how they remained friends. Eric’s past in the gang. Hell, anything about Fujishima’s life other than he has parents he lives with would be cool. Yata and Kamamoto’s relationship. Benzai and Akiyama’s time in the military. Seri’s past in total. More about Kamo’s former life as a chef. How people like Enomoto and Goto got recruited into Scepter 4 and what the hell made Goto the way he is…like, there is so very much material that could be explored when it comes to all these side characters, more than enough to make several spin-off manga or even anime seasons. And I love the questions about Bandou, Shouhei and Saya…honestly, I’m probably going to be thinking about that for a while!

Also, that’s completely alright, so C you will be! I hope you’re having a wonderful night by the way!

[gettingbyy]

6/24/2024 - 6/25/2024

this post is for mouse, but you can read it, too, if you want.

a triple shot espresso drink was involved when i started this and it shows.

i was just reading through my older posts - i must be some kind of fortune-telling witch, cos i mentioned the water heater going bad soon in february (which it did, in april) and i worried about void baby and ori's contentious relationship only getting worse, which it did and continues to do. maybe i'm a disaster witch.

since we've talking more regularly i don't have as much for general life updates, but i do have a few things i need to muse on. you can skip this one if you want, it might get a little wild. will send you a name abbreviation guide in discord with the post link. /|\ ^._.^ /|\

i just created a channel for our blog and video links if you're interested. it may not be necessary so let me know your thoughts xD i just figured this way they wouldn't get lost in our general chat. but also you email me video links so... i dunno xD

first,

i discovered i can control my phone's spotify through my work laptop now. i think i was always supposed to be able to do that, but it always broke everything before. this is good.

second,

this one is risky cos he might be reading this but yolo i want to get it out there. i think i told you i blocked C? a little while ago, maybe a month. it's been...like honestly relieving in a lot of ways. i'll tell you more about the history when A and i first got together, and right after we broke up, but suffice to say for more recent times, i got tired of the sex pest-y vibes and unwanted horniness. it was a classic case of manic pixie dream girl, too, and repeated misgendering. the misgendering part is kinda funny cos it started out very "respectful" when i first told him i'm enby, and then slowly over time he stopped checking in and started using wrong pronouns and super gendered language. after the 3rd or 4th she/her i stopped correcting and just got tired. this one has been an interesting look into the human psyche in some ways for me, and toxic ally behaviors. (i hate the word behaviors, it feels so corporate and pseudo-psychological now. i can expand on that if you want. i'd love to research how corporations are using therapy-speak and psychological terms to manipulate their employees, but also that might make me angry. i could write a dissertation on JA alone. ANYWAYS.) i even tried indulging C for awhile when he kept pressuring me to talk about sex, but i think that just emboldened him instead of ameliorating the issue. give an inch, they'll take a mile, as the saying goes. it just got so exhausting to constantly find new ways to say no.

as far as the manic pixie dream girl thing goes, this was really hammered home for me when i sent him a link to a story i was revisiting and reworking/editing. it just became so incredibly obvious that he literally did not care about me as a person other than what he thought/assumed i brought to the table, both in terms of sex and otherise. i'd talked to C before about wanting to start writing again and needing encouragement, feeling like an imposter, etc. but then when i was rereading my story, i found it to be more solid than i originally thought and got inspired to work on it again. i sent him a link to the story and said basically exactly that, and warned it needed more editing. he said he'd look at it "in a bit," and then a full 24+ hours later was like "oh hey i read it btw." his only feedback was "yeah i really like it! it's in dire need of an editing pass but the characters are solid." and i'm like great, thanks....... then four-ish days later he randomly goes "proud of you babe" in the middle of an already weird nonsensical conversation, so i asked what for, and he said "revisiting old works with a critical eye" which was literally the opposite of what i was doing lol. i was actually actively trying not to be too critical so i didn't burn myself out immediately, which i then told him. he never responded. i dunno, it's wild to me that after like 10 or 11 years of knowing each other he still has such a fixed idea of who i am and doesn't update that idea with new information. i'm basically a notepad file in his brain that hasn't been changed since 2013. it feels super manic pixie dream girl because i'm on this pedastal that he's created for me out of his own imagined impressions of/desires for me, and he responds based on that depiction instead of what's actually in front of him. also what makes him think he can use nicknames like that with me? the audacity, honestly.

having had him blocked for a month, i definitely know i made the right choice. talking to someone like that who has such a fixed idea of who you are despite evidence to the contrary really fucks you up in some subtle ways. there were times when i was questioning my communication skills because he had ideas about me so blatantly wrong, or took conversations in such a weird direction from what i was saying. it felt most often like he was talking sideways at me based on the first couple words i would say, instead of actually processing my full sentence(s). like he was just constantly 1000% distracted and couldn't be bothered to put any attention towards interacting with me, unless he was horny. you know when you're trying to talk to someone and they're looking at/doing something on their phone and they're responding with a couple words or like not really responding much at all? it felt like that, except constantly and always.

third,

i think between C and K i've definitely learned that just because someone was in/has been in my life for a long time, it doesn't necessarily mean they're doing any self-reflection or growing as a person. it's like a weird optimistic pitfall where you assume someone is a better person now because they've had so many opportunities to become one, and you used to be good friends with them so surely they've gone in a similar self-improvement journey. i don't know if i told you what went down with K, but he's a massive creep and hasn't improved literally at all since high school. one of the dating apps that's been more successful for me than the rest is no longer a viable option for me because of him. now that i think about it, i'd argue he's worse than he was back then; at least he regretted harassing/being weird towards other K and stopped/apologized. i should've known better all along probably, he aggressively grabbed my boob out of nowhere and without permission when we were waiting in the car after wind symphony in high school. he apologized and claimed he "misinterpreted signals," but it was still weird and uncomfortable and i never looked at him quite the same way again after that. also to be clear there were no signals to misinterpret. it's just wild to me that someone like K can be so shitty after nearly 15 years. another reminder to me that just because a path starts similarly doesn't mean it'll end similarly.

fourth,

this person's initial i'm going to change to S - it's actually D but i don't want to type things like "i've been ruminating on D a lot lately" lmao

i think i mentioned that i've been talking/interacting with S a little lately, through mutual friends/mutual gaming, and it's got me reflecting on 11 years ago and the turmoil he put me through. i was explaining everything that happened to A, she didn't know the full story because she was uncomfortable hearing about past flames when we first got together (also from trauma), and she was pretty floored at what/how/why he did what he did. i'll never forget that one line he used - "i'd like to pass on my genes, and given your family history i agree you probably shouldn't have children." obvi i don't want them anyway, but the eugenics vibes were strong and also that's pretty fucked up, especially considering what my dad was actively going through at the time. (aside: if his only concern is passing on genes, go to a sperm bank you gross fuck.)

a big part of why this is still semi-plaguing me (when i'm reminded of it) is the total lack of closure. i was never able to talk to S about what happened and how it affected me, nor was i able to get his thoughts on the situation. it's a mildly festering scrape i've had since it happened, and i have no idea how to resolve that. therapy, i guess. in the immediate aftermath, there was a month or so where we didn't talk much, then he reached out again and we were talking as constantly/closely as we had been. he was even a big support for me in the late hours of the evening after my mugging when the panic was setting in and i didn't have words to describe it. things didn't really end until sometime that summer - he just sort of stopped talking to me. we went from meaningful and lengthy conversations to one-word answers and pulling teeth for any reaction. i can only assume he had finally found "his people" in seattle and dropped me like i'm in toy story.

the wildest part is that S seems totally detached from it all, like he's forgotten it happened, or it mattered so little to him he may as well have forgotten it. we've hardly spoken in the intervening years (a rarity for me, most everyone else i've kept in touch with for at least a little while after the situationship broke off) and while he definitely still recognizes me as someone he knows (lmao can u imagine if he didn't), he's never made any remark/reference to our """"past""" or tried to talk about/apologize for/allude to it. i mentioned to P off-hand (he doesn't know what happened) that S gives me sociopath vibes sometimes with how disconnected he is from all of us, and P sort of agreed with me. "chaotic neutral" i think was the way he put it. maybe what i'm struggling with the most in fully processing it is that S seems to care so freaking little. even when i tried to talk to him a bit more about what we could maybe check out in the city, he just stopped responding after a couple messages. it's been fully years since he's ever sent me a message first or spoken to me without prompting, and i doubt that's going to change like...ever. i dunno. it's interesting how someone can be so impactful to you but they seem to feel completely the opposite. we didn't ""officially"" date, but damn if we didn't spend a shit-ton of time together and have a pretty big mutual meaning. it's the juxtaposition of knowing that, and seeing it completely unacknowledged and brushed under the rug that really gets to me. it feels akin to gaslighting, in some ways, in the most oblique/indirect way possible; i know it happened, and i know that he knows it happened, but we're just supposed to continue on like it's nothing and we were nothing. i'm not looking for some kind of declaration of lost love or profound regret, but just a little something as a treat would be nice.

Gotye's Somebody That I Used to Know was released in 2011. this situation happened in 2013, and fuck if that song isn't so painfully poignant about this.

fifth,

this will be a short one. i want to take more photos again. i haven't had a roll of film developed for months, and i've barely taken out my new-to-me (and very spendy lol) digital camera. i wish someone here would go with me. i get nervous in the city and being out alone, especially around this time of year (like clockwork, a monthish before and for a couple months after my muggingversary it flares up). i'll go when i really work up the courage, but the photos i make when i do show my anxiety somehow; i don't know how to describe it but you can just feel it. like when i was embroiled in terrible depression and anxiety being at QC and my photos were bleak and my insta was grey and dark and sad. i'm really excited about our trip, getting to see you and burn through some film rolls and really try out my newish camera. it's gonna be good.

conclusion,

sorry for the incredibly long post lmao love you bbg and miss you can't wait to see you soon i hope you're doing okay today and having a middling to good day <3

[goblinselfshippr]

2/2 of me projecting onto a game and character that really isnt that deep (it is to ME) i think this is way longer than the first sorry. (Part 1 here)

PS- if it isn't clear at this point I'm saying that wizard training causes c-ptsd because that cannot be good for your health. So "Delusion" being a prerequisite to Conjuring (I have no idea if this is a "correct" term, I personally take no offense to it, but lmk if you do, I guess). Some evidence: you can summon minions to help fight with you if you choose- which was the main reason I kept Myth when I took the personality quiz instead of switching to Ice (previously my fave school). Now these minions are common enemies in the game like haunted dolls, trolls, and Cyclops (does that have a plural?? Idk) with one main difference: the ones you summon look different from the actual enemies. Most notable is that the minions aren't as big as the actual enemies. There are slight color differences too, but their height is way more noticeable. Cyclops are usually like 2 players tall, but Cyclops Minions are maybe 1.3 players tall.

And yeah yeah yeah its to differentiate between the spells. Shut up. We are choosing to ignore reality. ANYWAY.

Conjuration is described as "where shadowy forms of thought become real" and "when imagination becomes too fanciful and whimsical these dreams take on life and run loose." SO LIKE. All the Myth bosses and allies must've been somebody's imaginary friends at one time. It would explain why there are bosses or characters with familiar names but don't quite fit their tales- for example, Apollo is a rooster who fucks your shit UP.

Yes I swear we are coming back around to Cyrus, I can't control how my brain categorizes things. There's not a lot said about his family other than they aren't really there. He's left alone from presumably a young age because his father is some big name battlemage, there's zero mention of a mother figure, and his brother would rather play in a graveyard (also convinced Cyrus was afraid of his own shadow as a kid bc I wouldn't put it past Mal to actually summon a demon under his bed). He hides in his room and either paints his daydreams or reads fantasy novels.

Omg he just like me fr except instead of painting I write fanfic that no one ever reads. It’s for my eyes only

From my own experience, you get lonely and bored, and you want friends, but never learn. And his father doesn't sound like the most supportive guy in the world- he seems kind of salty that neither of his kids want to practice Pyromancy like him. So poor Cy was probably just dismissed and ignored and had to go back to his sanctuary.

Cyrus doesn't actually become interested in any sort of spell casting until he's like 18-19, and Mal gets his ass kicked by a Conjurer. Bro really said "damn I can make my daydreams fight for me?" And just did that for the rest of his life, LOL. Wish that were me.

Cyrus is (admittedly) not the best teacher. Like, yeah, he's a dick but most people can think of at least one teacher in their life that everyone called an asshole that they eventually grew to appreciate even if it wasn't personally true. Cyrus, on the other hand, straight up begs you to leave him alone (same). Like the only time he speaks to you is when you irritate him enough or he suddenly remembers you exist. And I'm pretty sure at one point he even tells you he forgot you were in his class. -1000/10 teacher. Problematic fave. I would either hate him or only like him because he leaves me the hell alone. So what is he doing if not dutifully teaching his students?

According to his about page, enjoying the quiet or researching. Doubt. But then, daydreaming until you summon something could likely count as research for Myth. So yeah I think the reason why he's a massive douchebag is because he found a way to profit off his maladaptive daydreaming, and the only downside is he has to tell a couple of kids to scram every now and then. I guess I could have just lead with that. Rip.

[fluffallamaful]

Something interesting is that every instance of c!Dream doing something shitty to others has been framed as either 1) reactive, 2) preventative, or 3) consequentialist (Ends-Justify-The-Means). Basically nothing is framed as sadistic, and even his vengeful actions always come with something else tied to it (Quackity needs to be too scared to come after him again, Sam needs a canon death so that nobody else tries to “fuck with [him]” again, etc.). Hell, even moments like Tommy’s third death in Pandora were immediately preceded by a blinding rage that made him lash out in a way that is entirely human and I’d probably do the same thing (in that case it was Tommy 1) physically attacking him and 2) murdering the cat explicitly because Dream said he loved her) (also he revived him a day later and then proceeded to share his very limited food supply until Sam finally got around to letting Tommy out).

Exile was largely a mix of a reaction to Tommy’s antagonism and a prevention from him getting in his way as he got his disk from Tubbo in preparation for the Staged Finale, Doomsday was both a step in his plan to help paint him as a villain to the server and a reaction to L’Manberg completely ruining his original Big Happy Family a la the introduction of by-the-book nationalism (thanks, c!Wilbur), what he did to Lazarbeam and Vikk was consequentialism at its most extreme, etc.

Dream’s main flaw has always been overestimation. This extends to how he views natural human endurance (Pandora (self) and Exile (Tommy) ), what he thinks is an acceptable trade (traumatizing ClingyDuo in exchange for keeping up the charade, killing himself and Punz over and over and over and over —) and even how he views other people’s moral compass (he trusted Sam to be fair and kind even if Sam hated him, he believed that Tommy would not go after him post-prison as long as the Disc Fight had concluded, he was completely blindsided by the idea of Quackity torturing him, etc.) In short, he is an absolute moron when it comes to “reasonable expectations.”

(Seriously, with how fucked up his sense of “acceptable” is, I really wouldn’t be shocked if he thought that Exile was just an annoying two weeks on an island that Tommy was being dramatic about. Just look at what he deemed “alright” during the construction of Pandora’s Vault, like Jesus Christ man.)

i lovvveeee how much you pay attention toooo 🙌🏼 his character is so heckin interesting it’s insane. i don’t have much to add but i am nodding my head vigorously in thought

(discussed below anyway)

🦙🦙🦙…

the stuff you pointed out about him not being able to manipulate people as effectively as wilbur in the other ask is such an interesting point. he managed to find only one technique that allowed him to hold some reins over tommy and the other server members,, and that was controlling them through fear. but the only reason he was doing that was because he was scared himself.

i still find it so cool to loook at his choice of people that he saw as soon as he got out of prison. like he straight away went back and ensured that people still feared him (i bet he mistook fear for respect,, or saw them as achieving the same results, but he could control fear easier). but then you also pointed out that he might not have even meant to run into tommy in the exile island? i just think his first instinct when interaction is to lash out, in fear that others will do so first. and it’s easier to convince people to be scared or wary of you than to respect you (that’s what i feel he found anyway)

he’s really cool :(

🦙🦙🦙…

[rnelodyy]

c!Dream and the rules

(/dsmp /rp, all names refer to characters, not content creators)

I think one of the most striking parts of Exile is something that I rarely see talked about, and it’s Dream’s rules. Or rather, how his rules were made to be used as justification to hurt Tommy.

The thing about exile is that, outside of the initial rule of “Don’t go back to L’Manburg”, Dream never told Tommy the rules, yet constantly operated under the assumption that Tommy already knew them, and had accepted them. The rules also changed constantly, without Tommy ever being notified until he was already in trouble.

The second time Dream told Tommy to put his armor in the hole, he didn’t tell Tommy to do that right away. Instead, the conversation went like this (slightly edited to remove stammering and unrelated dialogue).

Dream: Do you have, uh… something you wanna put on the floor here? Tommy: Yes. (drops two pieces of red concrete as Dream digs a hole) Dre-eam! You’re evil. You’re evil. Dream: Anything else, Tommy? Tommy: Nope! Dream: Oh c’mon, I know there’s something else you wanna drop down here. Tommy: (panicking slightly) No, there… (messages BBH “take this and run”, throws him the disc BBH had gifted him earlier) Um… I don’t reckon there is! (pause) Dream: Okay, are you suuuure? Tommy: YES. Dream: Alright… How ‘bout your armor, Tommy? Tommy: Well, no, this is- I actually earned this myself. Dream: I know you did! Tommy: Leave me alone. Dream: Just drop it in the hole, Tommy. Tommy: Wh- no, NO, you can’t just come and demand things from me! I’ve been exiled, I’ve done your shit, what do you mean?! Dream: (sing-song) Tommy… Tommy: What? (Dream hits Tommy with his axe, taking over half his health) Tommy: (screams, drops his armor) OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY!

The only rule Tommy was aware of at this time was that he wasn’t allowed to go back to L’Manburg. Dream had taken his armor the night before, but there was no indication that he expected Tommy to do this constantly. Taking his armor upon initially arriving at Logstedshire made some kind of sense, allowing Tommy to keep it would run the risk of him trying to fight his way back into L’Manburg. Taking his new, very shitty armor (seriously it was an iron chestplate and a pair of golden leggings he got from a ruined portal chest) made no sense at all, so the fact that Tommy was confused and refused to cooperate at first isn’t unexpected in the slightest.

And the thing is… Dream was aware of this fact. Throughout the conversation, he never really sounded annoyed, and was actively teasing Tommy at times. This isn’t a good thing btw, it’s a sign that he was fully aware that Tommy didn’t know what he wanted from him, and that that would create a situation where Dream could “put him in his place” as it were.

If you’re a parent, and your kid does something that’s not allowed, without knowing it’s not allowed, you don’t start off with a beating. You sit them down, calmly explain the rules to them and explain why those rules are there, then send them on their way with the knowledge that they shouldn't do it again.

This interaction wasn’t an instance of Tommy acting out and Dream correcting him. This interaction was a trap. Dream set Tommy up to fail by not telling him the rules beforehand, and when Tommy offered even the slightest bit of resistance and asked why he needed to drop his armor, Dream jumped straight to beating him. It’s a powerplay, plain and simple.

This is demonstrated again with the destruction of Logstedshire. Dream got pissed that Tommy disobeyed him by having hidden chests with gear under his house, and retaliated by destroying everything Tommy had built, destroying every item he’d collected, killing his pet and only foodsource, barring him from the Nether, banning everyone except himself from visiting, and telling him to start over from scratch after a whole lecture about how Tommy betrayed him.

Again, I wanna point out some specific lines from this lecture that illustrate my point very well.

Dream: You were lying to me! You were lying to me. Tommy: No- Why was I lying?! Dream: What do you mean, why were you lying?! Tommy: I wasn’t hi- I wasn’t- Dream: You hid things in a chest knowing they were things I wouldn’t want you to have! And you hid it in a way that way I would never find it!

Except Tommy didn’t know that. The contents of the stash were all items that Tommy had obtained previously without any issue (diamonds, emeralds, iron, ender pearls, some pickaxes, and some purely sentimental items like flowers, a jukebox, and pictures of Tubbo and L’Manburg). In fact, the vast majority of them came from Tommy’s aboveground storage, which Dream had full access to, and had looked through before!

Dream also never said Tommy wasn’t allowed to hide stuff, and there was nothing to suggest he didn’t want Tommy to keep secrets from him.

There’s been a theory floating around for a while that Dream knew about Tommy’s item stash beforehand, since it was a very strange place to dig a hole (like, right in front of the house in the center of Logstedshire itself, instead of out in the plains where the TNT wouldn’t damage any structures), and Tommy had previously forgotten to cover up the entrance ladder. While Dream hadn’t looked inside the house, he would’ve definitely heard Tommy place the block back.

If this theory is correct, then this was yet another trap. Dream knew Tommy had a hidden room, and instead of just saying “hey, I don’t want you to have a hidden stash, go put this back and fill in the room” (which would’ve still been bullshit btw), he went COMPLETELY ballistic, destroyed EVERYTHING Tommy had, and while doing it, kept admonishing Tommy for betraying him, said shit like “I thought we were friends”, and even accused him of preparing to attack Dream. Again, a powerplay.

Hell, even the exile conflict itself is this! Tommy was exiled for griefing the king’s property while being a high-ranking official in L’Manburg. Except Fundy, the then-president’s son, CONSTANTLY griefed Eret’s shit after the L’Manburg war, ranging from ripping down one of their towers to “shrink” it, filling another tower with water, and multiple elaborate plots to steal the throne from under their nose. But apparently, between all of that shit and the exile-conflict, the rules were silently changed, meaning Dream could exile Tommy for breaking a couple blocks and placing some rude signs in George’s house. Even the punishment itself was changed without warning, as Tommy went from being exiled from L’Manburg to exiled from “everywhere that’s ever been touched.”

...I was originally gonna make a different point here. I may put it in the reblogs, because I still think it’s very interesting. But, in the middle of writing this essay I had to stop because it was late, then I spent the entire next day packing up because I’m in the middle of a move. It's now the next evening, I'm sat in my new room, on my camping bed, I opened this doc because I pretty much forgot what I typed, I reread it, and then I realized… This isn’t an isolated series of events. This is a pattern for Dream.

Before Tommy first joined the server, there were only three set rules: no stealing, no griefing, and no killing people. Except by that point, those rules weren’t enforced at all. In fact, Dream broke all three at once at one point, by killing George and burning his diamond armor because he didn’t feel it was fair that George got to run around in full diamond when everyone else still had iron.

Tommy joined the server, and broke the rules like everyone else. He stole shit, broke shit, killed George for funsies… and he got exiled for it. Seriously, they dumped him in an empty snowfield for breaking rules that nobody had enforced for weeks. So technically, the Exile-arc isn’t even the first time something like this has happened to him!

During the events that would eventually spark the Disc War, Sapnap stole a bunch of Tommy’s items (including the only Netherite chestplate on the server at the time), and told him he’d only give the stuff back if Tommy helped him with a conflict he had with Ponk. Long story short, Dream tried to intervene and was killed by Tommy and Sapnap, and Dream stole Tommy’s discs to force him to apologize. He then kept the discs, and the Disc War followed. Sapnap, despite being the aggressor and arguably forcing Tommy to participate in the conflict, was never punished.

This proves not only that the rules can change whenever Dream feels like it, but that they’re arbitrarily enforced. Dream refuses to punish his friends for the same crimes he endlessly fucks over Tommy for.

L’Manburg was created in part because of the fact that the rules were unevenly enforced. Tommy, Wilbur, and later Tubbo were repeatedly killed, stolen from, imprisoned, and even held hostage for very minor crimes, while the people killing, imprisoning, kidnapping and stealing from them were able to do so without impunity.

This was also the point where Dream just started making up new rules; there was no rule against having governments on the server, or making a separate area where Dream’s rules wouldn’t apply, so Dream banned governments, and used this new rule as an excuse to kill them, take their items, and tear their land to shreds.

And that’s another thing: the punishments for breaking Dream’s rules are INCREDIBLY harsh.

Kill him non-canonically one time? Your most prized possessions will now be dangled over your head and used to hurt you for the next few months.

Make a country with different laws that doesn’t infringe on anyone’s territory, has no desire to expand, is explicitly pacifistic and open to trade negotiations? You’ll be forced to fight a war you’re in no way equipped to fight, you’ll be betrayed and murdered and have your land destroyed in front of your very eyes until you literally have no choice but to surrender.

Mildly vandalize the king’s house, which nobody else has ever been punished for? You’ll be dragged into court, exiled from your home, and subjected to weeks of abuse until you believe that all of your friends hate you and you actively want to kill yourself.

Hide some stuff in a secret chest? Your only shelter will be exploded, your pet/only food source will be killed, all your items will be destroyed, you’ll be banned from the Nether, and none of your friends will be allowed to come see you.

This is all such disproportionate retribution it’s ridiculous. It’s like punishing someone for speeding by blowing up their car with a ballistic missile.

So to sum up: Dream’s rules are arbitrarily enforced, and he can just straight up make them up on the spot if he feels like it. Sometimes, he won’t tell you a rule exists until you’ve already broken it, and you’re treated as if you broke it out of malice instead of genuine ignorance. And if you do break a rule, and he decides you have to be punished, it will always be a punishment so harsh it doesn’t even ATTEMPT to fit the crime.

I don’t know about you, but that sounds pretty fucking corrupt and tyrannical to me.

When people say Tommy deserved exile, or made Dream spiral into villainy, or abused Dream somehow (seriously I’ve seen this take multiple times and every time it makes my brain melt) by breaking the rules, I would invite them to take a step back and ask themselves, why did that rule exist? Did Tommy know it existed? Was it enforced for everyone other than him as well? Does the punishment fit the crime?

Dream has a bad habit of making up rules, or enforcing old ones that were never enforced before, to punish those who threaten his power. None of the Dream Team were ever punished for anything, despite committing the same crimes as the L’Manburgians. That is, until they founded Mexican L’Manburg (i.e. went against Dream’s rule), at which point they were attacked by Dream and George was dethroned for “not being neutral enough.”

Tommy should’ve faced consequences for what he did. But those consequences should’ve come naturally, and been carried out by the people he hurt. Like, if Dream hadn’t intervened, griefing George’s house would’ve resulted in George griefing Tommy back in revenge. In fact, he DID do that, by turning Tommy’s entire house into granite and putting the Jump In The Cadillac picture on his front lawn.

These are natural, proportionate consequences. Exile was none of that. The Disc War was none of that. Everything that happened to L’Manburg was none of that.

Dream’s rules and how he enforces them are inherently corrupt and tyrannical. To pretend it’s anything but is disingenuous at best.

[enderspawn]

it’s a shame that so much of that part of the fandom is Like That (derogatory) bc there IS a lot of interesting bits from looking at c!dream more sympathetically. to be so universally hated by everyone, what is that like? how do you recover from something like that, if at all? is it even worth it to try and repent or is it all pointless, has the well of sympathy run dry?

but then like you go to try and discuss that and they completely ignore WHY c!dream is so universally hated (or worse, say that he’s unfairly hated and what he did Wasnt That Bad) thus just… invalidating the harm he’s caused.

like this man has irrevocably fucked up. I think it’s interesting to see what happens after that point, how he and others are affected, etc. but too many ppl in doing so erase that first bit and that’s how you get the awful uncomfortable takes and a shit load of victim blaming