#Tiffany's Perspective

[tiffanyspace]

Pittsburgh. Circa 2010-2011.

[pratchettquotes]

That was the thing about witches. They were, according to Granny Weatherwax, "people what looks up." She didn't explain. She seldom explained. She didn't mean people who looked at the sky; everyone did that. She probably meant that they looked up above the everyday chores and wondered, "What's all this about? How does it work? What should I do? What am I for?" And possibly even: "Is there anything worn under the kilt?"

Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith

[twelvemonkeyswere]

the whole Terry Pratchett vs Adaptations section of the book is brilliant, but nothing stands out as the whole ordeal between Terry, Tiffany Aching, and, I kid you not, Sam Raimi.

I cannot emphasize the psyche damage I took from that last sentence, I was completely unprepared:

he wasn't pleased with the script at all:

and you know shit just got real:

and its inevitable end:

all this put into perspective, however, an earlier quote in the chapter:

[misswoozi]

id LOVE to see your new couple 2ny headcanons 🥺 /t1da

OKAY SO 2NY AS NEW GIRLFRIENDS

they fuck on the couch, in the shower and in the kitchen more than they do in the bedroom because they're impatient

Tiffany is OBSESSED with Sunny's tits (eyes or hands are always on them lmao)

lots of cuddles, lots of binging each other's favorite TV shows, lots of takeout chicken

Sunny was never into the idea of using a strap until Tiffany fucked her with one (even if/when they break up, she isn't interested in using one with anyone else)

Tiffany sends A Lot of nudes/sexts in the beginning just to fluster Sunny while she was at work/with friends

Tiffany also buys Sunny tons of little gifts, just random stuff that she likes and that makes her think of her

Sunny steals all of Tiffany's t-shirts and hoodies

[britany1997]

Fate Yields For No One

Chapter Four

Were you wondering what the boys were doing while reader and Maria were bonding at the video store those two weeks? Wonder no more! Here’s what they were up to lol

I strongly recommend going back to at least read chapter 3 before reading this one, as some of the scenes will be the same, but from Paul’s perspective:)

Poly Lost Boys x Max’s Daughter Reader

FYFNO Masterlist

California, 1986

Paul’s eyes widened as he realized who you were to him. You wished you could have stopped the word that fell from his lips.

“Mine.”

Paul stared at you, his eyes raking up and down, taking you in. God you were beautiful, the others would love you. As his shock wore off, Paul felt a giddy feeling bubbling in his chest.

He had a million questions to ask you. Your favorite food, your favorite color, your favorite band. Paul had to know anything and everything. (Even if you liked Tiffany or something, he could get over it…eventually.)

As your lips parted, Paul prepared himself to be enchanted by whatever honeyed words you’d speak to him. He reached forward to caress your cheek.

Instead of leaning into the touch as he’d expected you to, you recoiled. His brow furrowed.

“Oh my god I totally forgot I have to go stock things in the back, so nice to meet you, bye!” He heard you blurt out before you moved away from him.

There were few times in Paul’s life when he was actually rendered speechless. This was one of them.

Paul’s brow furrowed, “what?” He whispered as he moved to stand in front of the desk’s swinging door you’d been headed for. Surely he’d misunderstood (wouldn’t be the first time), you had to at least talk this out.

He watched your face twist into a glare, “you’re in my way…” you bit out at him.

Paul’s confusion turned to frustration. “What?!” He repeated, “but we’re…I mean we-” he stumbled over his words, desperate and utterly flabbergasted.

“I know what we are,” you told him, “and I don’t care. So can you please move aside so I can do my job?”

Paul’s jaw dropped.

You…didn’t want him? Didn’t want a mate? Someone who’d love you unconditionally for eternity? Who’d do anything for you? God what was wrong with you?

He stumbled a bit as you pushed past him. “Hey!” He called after you, his ego more bruised than it’d ever been.

“This isn’t over you know,” he promised, resolved to win your heart, even if he had to recruit some…reinforcements.

You scoffed, oblivious to Paul’s plotting. “Seems like it is,” you replied before slipping into the back of the video store.

“What the fuck just happened,” Paul murmured to himself as he rubbed his forehead.

Maria whistled “tough break Paulie.” She bumped him with her hip before she went back to returning DVDs.

Paul scoffed. She didn’t know the half of it. “I gotta go Maria,” he muttered, stalking off with his tail between his legs.

She snickered softly as she watched him go.

Paul shook his head, he was gonna be in for one long conversation when he got back to the cave.

Paul slunk across the boardwalk, hands in his pockets, as he made his way back to his bike.

His head nodded along to the beat of the music playing over the speakers. Paul started to tap out a four count on his thigh as he walked and hummed.

“Are you going to that bonfire Friday?” “I dunno, is Jason gonna be there?” “Ugh, probably” Paul huffed a laugh as he eavesdropped on the vapid boardwalk talk.

A bonfire on Friday did sound fun though. Should he and the guys throw a party? Who would they even invite? Maria? Maria, who worked at the video store with his new mate. He sighed. What a mess.

As he walked, his mind wandered to her pretty face. He wished she would have let him touch her. She looked so soft. He just wanted to hold her. He could be gentle!

He huffed.

Didn’t she realize he was hers? Didn’t she know he’d do anything for her? He’d be anything she needed? He’d probably even cut his hair for her if she asked. As long as she let him hold a memorial service after.

She was pretty, and soft (probably), witty and fiery, and she was right there at the video shop and she didn’t even want him. How fucked was that.

Paul frowned as he finally reached his bike, looking back over his shoulder in the shop’s direction. It’d been a while since he’d felt that hollow longing feeling of being alone.

But he wasn’t alone, not anymore. And whatever had happened back there, he and his boys were gonna fix it, he knew they would.

Paul revved his engine with renewed determination. ‘Just wait pretty girl,’ he thought, ‘cause we’re comin back for ya’

When Paul arrived at the cave, each of the boys were too immersed in their own activities to notice.

On the couch, Dwayne was two-hundred and twelve pages into his thirty-first reread of Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov and from the way Dwayne was hunched over the book, quite literally on the edge of his seat with his brow furrowed, Paul could tell it was just starting to get good.

Though Paul could barely think over the harsh whirring sound of Marko’s sewing machine. He’d been occupied with making patch-work vests and skirts lately to expand his wardrobe. And while Paul appreciated having some extra pieces around he could borrow, after weeks of hyper fixated, non-stop sewing, the sound was worse than nails on a chalkboard.

David’s constant foot tapping didn’t help either. He was perched in his wheelchair throne, seemingly reviewing some ancient documents. By the way he was squinting and underlying, it seemed to be pretty important stuff.

But none of this was as important as what Paul had to tell them. He cleared his throat pointedly.

The whirring of the sewing machine slowed before coming to a stop, Dwayne looked up from his book expectantly, and a little annoyed, David continued his work, ignoring Paul entirely. “I’m calling a meeting,” Paul stated confidently.

“You don’t have the authority to call a meeting,” David said without looking up from his papers, “only Dwayne and I do.”

Paul wondered if he could explode David with his mind if he tried hard enough. How would he know if he never tried?

“Well it’s an emergency,” Paul gritted.

David met Paul’s frustration with a mocking pout. “Dealer’s out of the good stuff again Paulie? Tragic.” He turned back to his papers.

Dwayne seemed to sense Paul’s desperation, “what’s wrong Paul?” he asked.

“I have another mate,” he said hesitantly, “which means that you guys probably do to.”

David stilled at the same time Marko gasped, the curly haired vampires lips curling up into a bright smile.

“What are they like? Are they nice? Are they funny? Are they hot?” The shorter vamp bombarded Paul with questions, making him cringe.

Dwayne frowned, “Paul…” he began gently, “why aren’t they here with you?”

A broken look crossed Paul’s face, “she…doesn’t want me.”

Marko’s excitement was extinguished as he came to Paul’s side, lacing their fingers together. Dwayne softened, quietly reflecting on Paul’s words. David frowned.

“What do you mean she doesn’t want you?” he narrowed his eyes.

“Exactly what I said dude,” Paul strained, “she said she didn’t care!”

David leaned back, unconvinced. “Tell us exactly what happened, start to finish.”

Paul nodded and painfully recounted every moment from the excitement of meeting you, to the pain of watching you leave as he picked up his jaw from the floor.

David stroked his chin, “are you sure she’s a vampire? Human mates are rare, but they’re not unheard of,” he mused.

Paul scoffed, “duh she’s a vampire! She said, ‘I know what we are, and I don’t care.’ How would she know we were mates if she wasn’t a vampire?” He threw his hands up in frustration.

“Did she say, ‘I know what we are,’ or did she say, ‘I know what you are,’” Dwayne chimed in.

Paul scratched his head, what did she say? He’d been talking about what they were, but had she? He couldn’t quite remember. “She could have been saying ‘I know what you are,’” he decided.

David’s hands clapped together, “so she’s human, but she knows we’re vampires, or at least that you are Paul. Unsurprising, you and Marko have the combined subtlety of an airhorn at the opera,” Paul rolled his eyes. “That’s an easy enough fix,” David reasoned.

“Makes more sense too,” Marko added. “If she ran off, it was probably because she was scared. If I was a human I wouldn’t wanna fuck around with us to get bit either.”

“Why don’t we give her some time,” Dwayne suggested, “prove we’re not going to rush into the video store and drag her out to hurt her or anything. We could give her some space to calm down from her confrontation with Paul, and then we can all go meet her together.”

The boys nodded slowly, considering Dwayne’s plan.

“And,” Dwayne added, “if she’s human, we all need to be on our absolutely best behavior,” he shot a pointed glance at David.

David rolled his eyes, “I’d teach her to be on her best behavior,” he mumbled.

Dwayne sighed. “Let’s just give it two weeks, then we’ll go check in on her,” he paused his voice taking on a gentle tone once more, “I think we could all take some time to cool off.”

Paul tensed at that last part, but he knew Dwayne was right. You were a human and you didn’t understand. You couldn’t! They’d have to show you, go slow, ease you into things, be gentle…you were basically made of glass after all.

He sighed, ‘two weeks,’ he thought, ‘I can do two weeks.’

He could not do two weeks.

Not gracefully at least.

By the end of those two weeks, Paul was practically feral. The second the Sun began to fade into the horizon, Paul was awake and attempting to drag David out of the cave.

As eager to meet you as they were, the boys had grown tired of Paul’s impatience.

Dwayne’s evenings consistently began and ended with “has it been two weeks yet?” The dark haired vampire had come so close to just buying Paul a damn calendar.

Marko had had to stick to Paul like glue to stop him from wandering off to the video store every night. On two unfortunate occasions, Marko AND David had to drag him back to the cave to stop him was barging in to talk to you. Paul was like a dog with a bone when he wanted something, and he wanted you bad.

But Dwayne has assured him last night that today was the day, and Paul was chomping at the bit. “Let’s go,” he groaned, annoyed and excited.

“Paul.” Dwayne chastised.

“Dwayne.” Paul mocked.

“Paul,” it was too early for this shit. “I know you want to see her, we all do,” Dwayne reminded him. “But I think we should wait until closing.”

“What?!” Paul huffed, “I’ve been waiting two weeks! Now we gotta wait longer? No way man!”

“Paul listen,” David groaned, “we can’t have a long, intensive conversation with her about vampire mates with random human customers running around, get it? It’s a private conversation.”

Marko nodded in agreement, “it’s doesn’t seem fair to drop all of that on her while she’s still at work either,” he added, “it’s better if we get ‘er as she’s leaving.”

Paul rolled his eyes, “whatever, I bet Fishy’s on my side.” He grumbled as he stalked off to his room.

“You think we should invest in one of those backpack leashes for him?” Marko asked, only half joking.

David scoffed a laugh, “don’t tempt me.”

When closing time finally came, Paul’s eagerness had wavered. What if they explained everything and you still weren’t on board? Humans had tons of reasons to fear vampires after all, you might want nothing to do with them.

He shuddered at the thought.

He looked to his left to see Marko biting his thumb, equally nervous.

“A human mate,” he muttered under his breath, “what are the odds.”

David rolled his eyes, “if she’s a human I can use my thrall, why are you idiots so worried.”

Paul and Marko shot him dirty looks, but Dwayne placed a hand on his shoulder. As tough as David liked to pretend to be sometimes, Dwayne knew he was nervous too.

“No use waiting any longer,” the dark haired vampire reasoned, “c’mon.”

Dwayne lead the way, pushing the door to the video store open and letting the bell ring softly as the other boys filed in behind him.

The vampires maneuvered to the desk together, passing through aisles they’d walked through a million times over.

The silence was deafening as the boys’ thoughts whirled with what they’d say to you. How they’d explain the significance of vampire mates to a mere human.

Dwayne sighed, they probably had nothing to worry about. Even as a human, there’d still be a pull for you. And he could work with a pull, no matter how small.

He’d show you, he decided. Show you how amazing it could be to be cared for, to be protected. He’d treat you like a princess, he’d worship you if you let him.

God you must be his if he was already thinking this way. The tug at his heart grew stronger and strongernwith every step. If you only knew the effect you had on him, on them all. If you only knew you could have him wrapped around your finger.

When the boys finally reached the front desk, Dwayne’s musings were shattered by the vision of your tongue down Maria’s throat.

He watched as David’s jaw dropped when he was met with the sight of one of your hands tangled in Maria’s curly locks, the other caressing her hip.

He’d felt it, and by the looks of it, David and Marko had too. You were theirs, but you were tangled in Maria’s embrace.

The boys were too stunned to speak.

Until Paul abruptly broke the silence with a resounding “what the fuck.”

FYFNO Taglist❤️:

(Let me know if you’d like to be added to my list for this fic, or to my main list)

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[betterthanapokeintheeye]

Tiffany Aching's Guide to Being a Witch

[Event News]

TIffany Aching's Guide to being a Witch with Rhianna Pratchett and Gabrielle Kent at The British Library

Date: Fri 27 Oct 2023, 15:00 - 16:15

Location: Pigott Theatre, The Knowledge Centre, The British Library, 96 Euston Road, London, NW1 2DB

This event takes place in the British Library and will be simultaneously live streamed on the British Library platform. Tickets may be booked either to attend in person, or to watch on our platform (online) either live or within 48 hours on catch up. Viewing links will be sent out shortly before the event.

‘They say you don't find witchcraft, it finds you…’

Whether you're a herbologist or a headologist, this book will inspire and empower new witches and seasoned practitioners alike.

Tiffany Aching first appeared in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series of fantasy novels, starting with The Wee Free Men (2003). Tiffany grows up over the course of the series, from nine years old in the first book to being in her late teens in the last, The Shepherd's Crown.

Join us as Rhianna Pratchett and Gabrielle Kent introduce Tiffany Aching’s Guide To Being A Witch – a practical guide to being a witch in Discworld, covering everything you've ever wanted to know from telling the bees to magical cheese, from dealing with elves to making deals with demons, from tending flocks to fending off forces from other worlds.

This beautiful and practical guide has been compiled by Tiffany Aching herself, including snippets of remembered wisdom from Granny Aching alongside notes from Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Miss Tick, and Rob Anybody who offer their own unique perspectives on all things witchcraft. Whether you're a herbologist or a headologist, this book will inspire and empower new witches and seasoned practitioners alike.

Tiffany Aching’s Guide To Being A Witch, co-written by Rhianna and Gabrielle, celebrates the 20th anniversary of the first Tiffany Aching story which first appeared in Sir Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series.

Suited to audiences aged 11 +

This event is an In-Person and Online Event.

[understandingbimbos]

Bimbo Types, or Neapolitan Bimbo

(This is something I've previously gone over in my My Little Pony post but wanted to reiterate here.)

Bimbo can most easily be divided into three distinct archetypes. The Clown, The Innocent, and The Debutante. These archetypes are not absolute, they come in many variations and their traits can and will overlap.

The Clown, also known as The Free Spirit or The Wildcard, usually shows up as the comedic relief. They can be loud, showy, excessive, and obnoxious. Their sexuality is very self-assured, self-aware, and playful. The Clown's main concern (if any) is having or spreading fun, "fun" in this context being completely up to their individual style and personality. To give a very stereotypical example, a goth clown may have the most fun watching very violent horror movies or playing with spiders. Another clown could have the most fun (Incidentally) causing a ruckus or being mischievous, it's all about perspective, the possibilities are pretty much endless.

Examples of this archetype include but are not limited to: Jeannie (IDOJ), Pinkie Pie (MLP:FIM), Harley Quinn (BTAS), Synclaire James (Living Single), Jayne Mansfield (films and public persona), Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

The Innocent, also known as The Ingenue, is just as the name suggests. Not only helpless but often unaware and wholly out of her depth. Her inexperience and or meekness makes her prone to being taken advantage of. Despite this, she (usually) remains positive, kind, and happy to help. Unlike The Clown, The Innocent's sexuality is typically portrayed as natural, uncomplicated, and unintended.

Examples of this archetype include but are not limited to: Marilyn Monroe (films and public persona), Weena (The Time Machine), Lorelei Lee (in the novel), Elissa Megan Powers (Empowered)

The Debutante, who could also be called The Alpha Bitch, is probably the most popular in the modern era and who you're most likely to come across in real life or on social media. Her sexuality is mainly a means of control. She puts a lot of time, work, and effort into her appearance because beauty is both her business and capital. While she may, at times, enjoy and indulge in carnal pleasure it's far from her main concern. Being the most or unattainably desirable is how she knows she's better than others, how she's able to acquire and maintain control. The Debutante values social standing above all else, to her it's a matter of life or death, she would die without overwhelmingly positive attention.

Examples of this archetype include but are not limited to: Regina George (Mean Girls), Heather Chandler (Heathers), Courtney Shayne (Jawbreaker), Heather (Total Drama Island), Cleopatra Smith (Clone High), Jeannie II (IDOJ), Emma Frost (X-Men), Panty Anarchy (PSG), Ginger (Gilligan's Island), Holly Golightly (Breakfast at Tiffany's), Kim Kardashian, Rarity (MLP:FIM)

These archetypes are combined, remixed, and subverted so often it's hard to find pure examples (I tried my best, and even then this is just reducing them to their base archetypes and do not accurately describe every single one of these characters), but this is a good thing. It leads to nuance and diversity, and many of the most popular bimbo characters are mixed or subversions. Chrissy Snow (Three's Company) is a Clown and an Innocent. Elle Woods (Legally Blonde) arguably includes elements of all three. Romy and Michele's High School Reunion follows two clownish Innocents who realize they were bullied by debutantes. As far as I know, all bimbos exist somewhere along these lines (or perhaps on an axis) but we shouldn't view this as limiting, when you think about it the combinations are really seemingly endless, and I didn't even cover sub-archetypes! Many Debutantes are mean but they don't have to be. Innocents don't have to be completely pliable, you can do (or be) whatever you like, even moving from one archetype to another.

[aestheticaltcow]

Our Present

The Bear Masterlist

Previous part

Richie walked back into the party, confused about what had happened. He attempted to push it into the back of his head as he watched Eva and her friends run around the backyard trading friendship bracelets. He smiled to himself as he got his phone out of his pocket to take a picture to send you.

After singing Happy Birthday, eating ice cream cake, and opening presents, Richie was finally alone with Tiff. “Oh hey- I thought you left.” she laughed as she picked up empty paper cups to throw in the trash. “Yeah… what did you say to Y/N? She kinda just left… said something about talkin’ to you.” Richie asked, watching Tiffany lose the color in her cheeks. “Richie, I didn’t say anything. I swear.” Richie shook his head, “Nonono, Tiff, you said somethin’... I wanna know what you said.” she sighed and put the trashcan she’d been carrying through the living room down, “Okay- I guess I did say somethin’...” She leaned against the wall, avoiding eye contact with him. “What did you say?!” Richie demanded, trying his best not to yell, “Calm down.” Tiffany warned, crossing her arms over her chest. Richie paused, “Okay, I’m sorry, but what did you say to her?”

 “I think I gave her perspective?” Tiffany swallowed, “On what?” Richie’s face scrunched in frustration. Tiffany pushed her hands through her hair, “Okay, Richie, we’d been together for two years when she was born-” “Tiffany. What did you say.” Richie crossed her arms over his chest and stared down at Tiffany. She entered the kitchen, “I asked if she wanted to travel or get married or have a kid someday…” “I need to get out of here before I lose it.” 

“Daddy?” Eva asked from the top of the stairs as Richie huffed toward the door, “Hey, sweetheart.” he faked a smile, “Are you mad at Mommy?” he shook his head. “Don’t worry that pretty lil head about it. I had fun at your party- did you have fun?” Eva nodded, and Richie’s face softened. “That’s good… Happy Birthday, princess. I love you, okay?” Eva nodded. “I love you too, Daddy.” 

As Richie pulled into his parking spot, he noticed your missing car. Richie felt his heart rate increase as breathing became harder. He haphazardly parked and ran up the stairs. He struggled to get his key in the lock but opened the door, “Baby! You here?!” Richie yelled as soon as he’d entered the apartment. When he got no response, he walked toward your shared bedroom. He noticed your missing shoes from the cubby by the door. He shook his head, refusing to believe you’d leave him without saying anything. “Yo. Baby?” he opened the bedroom door to see the bed made and more of your possessions missing. “No. No. She wouldn’t…” he fished his phone out of his pocket and hit your contact. It immediately went to voice mail. He hung up and dialed again as he paced through your bedroom, looking into the closet to see that some of your clothes were missing. “Baby. Answer the fuckin’ phone.” Richie sighed into his phone when your voicemail came through his speaker. 

Richie walked back into the main part of the apartment and saw a note on the counter. “Sorry to leave you like this, but we want different things. My Dad said he’d come by to pick up the rest of my stuff later in the week. -Y/N” Richie stared at the paper with disbelief. He shook his head, crumpling the paper as he exited the apartment, slamming the door on his way out. You weren’t leaving him like this. 

Richie knew your parents weren’t his biggest fans, but you had to be there. Your car wasn’t parked outside their building, but you had to be there. Richie couldn’t let you leave him like this. Maybe he should have followed you when you’d left the party? He knocked on your parent’s apartment door to reveal your mom, “Richie. What are you doin’ here?” she questioned, surprised at his presence. “Hey, Mrs. Y/L/N, have you heard from Y/N?” “She left your ass, Richard.” your Dad laughed. Richie scoffed, “Have you heard from her?” Richie asked again; your mom nodded. “She said something about self-discovery? I’m not sure; she was a mess.” Richie nodded. “Thank you… can you call me if you hear from her?” she nodded. “I will, Richie.” 

Anger, hurt, confusion… Richie was ripping his hair out at what had happened between the two of you. He thought the two of you were on the same page about marriage and kids. He was sitting at the bar working on the front-of-house schedule when Lily, a friend from your serving days, approached the bar. “Hey, Richieeee…” she grimaced. “No.” Richie answered without looking up, “Richie, I asked Milo and-” “I don’t care. Answers no.” Lily sighed, “Fine. I guess I’ll just tell Y/N-” “Lily. Walk away before I fire you.” he huffed before walking back to the kitchen and into the back alley. 

Before turning the corner to go to his usual smoking spot, he heard some busboys talking about you, “Should I try to shoot my shot again? Y/N’s so fuckin’ hot now.” “Dude, she rejected you last time you tried.” “Yeah, but now she’s on the rebound- bleached her hair, postin’ sad shit on Instagram… I think I have a shot.” “You fuckin’ wish. She’s like a relationship girl, not a rebound girl.” Richie clenched his fist before quickly turning around to go back inside. He needed answers.

A few weeks had passed since the breakup, and on a rare day off, your Dad showed up at Richie’s apartment to pick up the rest of your belongings. While he didn’t like Richie, he could also see that his daughter was a bit harsh in how she’d ended the relationship. The two men awkwardly stood in the living room, “You want a beer or somethin’?” Richie asked, “No. I don’t like you, Richie, but it was cold of Y/N to break up with you the way she had.” Richie chuckled. “Yeah… where is she? She blocked me, but I gotta talk to her.” “You didn’t hear it from me, but she’s at her friend Connie’s place.” 

You slipped your headphones off when you heard yelling coming from outside your bedroom door. “She’s not fuckin’ here!” Connie yelled as you got closer to the door. “That fuckin’ bullshit- her car is outside!” Richie’s voice boomed. You swallowed before leaving the bedroom, “Connie, it’s okay- come on. Let’s get this over with.” you said, beckoning to Richie. He stood there in awe for a moment before sheepishly nodding. 

The two of you stood awkwardly before Richie finally piped up, “Y/N, you can’t just fuckin’ leave me like that.” you sighed. You knew it wasn’t the right way to end the relationship, but the thought of this. conversation triggered many memories from the past, and you couldn’t face Richie. “Richie-” “No. No. This is all bullshit. Just come home, baby.” he pleaded. You shook your head, “Why not?! Do you not love me anymore?” he asked, trying to fight back the urge to throw you over his shoulder and just take you home. “I love you, but I want to get married and maybe have a kid or two-” “Okay. Let’s get fuckin’ married then,” he interjected. You sighed, “Richie, I want you to want to marry me because you want to-.” “You said it was just a piece of paper. What fuckin’ changed?” he was struggling to contain his feelings at that point. “Just- Richie, please just go home.” you pleaded as tears started to form in your eyes, “I love you, Y/N. You wana get married- I’ll marry you. You wanna have a kid- I’ll give you a fuckin’ baby. I want to be with you, Y/N. Just come home, baby.”

You stared down at the floor until you felt Richie’s hands delicately grip your hips. As he pulls you closer to his body, your hands move to his chest and gently push him away. “You should leave Richie,” you whispered, not daring to look up at him. Richie sighed and dropped his hands. You felt his thumb under your chin and allowed it to push your chin up and finally meet his eyes. “I’m not givin’ up on this. Just think about it. Okay?”

Weeks passed, and you couldn’t shake your feelings for Richie. You tried to write it off as your first real relationship. Of course, it would take a while to get over. However, it seemed like everything had just reminded you of him. You tried to focus on your work; you tried to distract yourself with stupid reality TV. You were going to the gym every night. Lily tried to convince you to download Tinder to get your mind off of Richie, and Connie was team ‘get back together with Richie because you’re pathetically in love with him and should’ve never broken up in the first place’; you were stuck between a rock and a hard place. While you couldn’t get the man out of your head, could you really just be happy being his girlfriend forever? You stared up at the ceiling when your phone started vibrating next to you. You sighed and rolled over to see the caller ID was Carmy, “Hello?” you quickly answered, wondering why he’d be calling you at almost midnight. “Come home already.” Richie’s voice came through the speaker, “You took Carmy’s phone to call me?” “The jagoff’s passcode is 1111. He was askin’ for it.” “Dumbass is gonna get his phone stolen.” “He left it in the office- practically askin’ for it, ya know?” “Yea… I miss you.” “Then come home.” “I don’t-” “Y/N, just come home. I need you- I’ve been think’ a lot. I wasn’t the best husband to Tiff, and I guess I'm just scared I won’t be a good one to you either- GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE CARMY I SWEAR TO FUCKIN’ GOD!” “Can’t really yell at Carmy to get out of the office when you snagged his phone, Richie… but, um, I get what you’re saying.” “Yea?” “Yeah.” “Come home?” “Okay.”

[marmorafarms]

I think I'm going to make a list of songs I think are nice for my favorite ships in Dungeon Meshi! I am a multi shipper and still don't know all the ship names, I apologize. These are not all about requited love by the way, and they're not all in English, though the majority are.

Toshiro/Falin: Aïcha by Khaled (From Toshiro's perspective)

Farcille: Strangers Like Me from Tarzan (From Marcille's perspective)

Labru: Volví a Nacer by Carlos Vives (works from both perspectives)

Toshiro/Laios: Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons (From Laios' perspective)

Kabru/Mithrun: Tightrope from The Greatest Showman (works from both perspectives)

Chilchuck/Senshi: I Won't Say (I'm In Love) from Hercules (from Chilchuck's perspective)

Chilchuck/Chilchuck's wife: Breakfast At Tiffany's by Deep Blue Something (From Chilchuck's perspective)

[rustcoloredraccoon]

Deleted ending for my fic, Keep You Warm

I ended up taking out this ending, because I didn't like the fit with the rest of the story, but I already teased it in a previous post, so I'm going to put it here instead. The rest of the final chapter will be out on AO3 in the next hour or so.

Six months later...

"Are you sure this is okay?" Dick asked for what must have been the seventh time in the past hour. He fiddled with the thin bracelet on his wrist. Bruce had made the holo-projector as comfortable as he possibly could and the jewelry just seemed convenient. Now, from an outsiders perspective, he had slightly darker skin that Tim said was similar to his mother's, the dark veins around his body covered by the hologram. And the blue contacts not only gave him normal looking eyes, but they also shielded them from the light so he no longer felt like his retinas were burning out whenever he left the manor during the day.

Tim grabbed his hand so he would not accidentally turn the projector off.

"I'm sure, just look around. Half the people in line are men in their thirties if not older." He laced their fingers together and gently ran his thumb over the back of Dick's hand when he saw his frown.

"Yeah, but they don't have good vibes," Dick muttered, before looking at the back of the thirteen year old girl in front of them in line. He then gasped in horror. "What if she think I'm creepy?"

Jason rolled his eyes, but he also put a steady hand on the small of his back.

"You look like an underwear model. You could go Mad Hatter-level creepy on her and she would just call you her manic pixie dream boy. It's called pretty privilege, use it," he said. It was clear on his face how much he hated being there, but the moment Tim presented the tickets for VidCon, they all knew Jason was going to come with them, no matter how much both Dick and the omega told him he didn't have to attend.

"Next!"

The little girl and her mother in front of them walked forward and Dick was pretty sure his heart was now in his throat. He squeezed Tim's hand a bit, which caused the omega to stand in front of him to catch his attention.

"You're going to be okay. She won't find you creepy. She will be really nice to you, because you'll be really nice to her and everyone is going to have a great time. I take a pricture of you two, then we can get out and get the burger we promised Jay for behaving," he said and Dick couldn't help but nod. He leaned a bit forward and Tim immediately gave him the kiss he was wordlessly asking for.

" Next! " The gruff voice called out once again and Jason gently pushed Dick forward.

"You're up!" he whispered, but the way his touch lingered on Dick's back showed that he was also slightly nervous. Dick gave them a smile, before trying to project as much confidence as he could muster up while he walked to the table. The girl sitting there took him in from head to toe before standing up and giving him a bright smile.

Dick held out his hand, turning on the charm he saw Tim use at galas.

"Hi, Tiffany! My name is Dick, and I'm a big fan."

[tiffanyspace]

Santa Monica in the rainy season. Circa 2010-2011

[saturnbellfromhell]

VENUSIAN ENERGY

Finally a youthful,playful and fiery planet Venus at our doorstep! She never shys away from her beliefs and power. The Moons daughter and the complete depiction of feminine beauty. She emerges from the shell of life only to show us her glowing skin, soft facial features, breathtaking hair, plump breasts and firm hips.

⚪Venus is the second planet furthest from the Sun, making her character and motives not so secretive since a lot of light shines above her. She's the young female planet of the solar system, sure of her looks and power but also in need of guidance so her energy doesn't get taken away. Youthfulness always has a touch of naivness to it, attracting despicable people to one's table.

⚪Venus is also the planet of riches and romance, sex and power, fortune and prosperity! The Godess of good energy and hopefulness. She finds her home with two signs in the zodiac: a feminine Taurus and a masculine Libra. These two are the brother and sister created by Venus to show other signs how to live a hedonistic life filled with luxurious items, fine dining and passionate sex. These two know how to indulge, that's for sure!

The difference between Taurus and Libra in my perspective is huge. So here are some core differences:

◽Taurus is a fixed sign, meaning it doesn't like adapting to anything new really. It's also the only fixed earth sign. So not only do Taurses hate change, but they are also gifted the stubbornness from being a sign ruled by the element earth. Also Taurus rules the second house, which is the house of movable goods asessts, income and financial possesions. To put it into one word money. This house also shows which activitie/projects move you towards earning said money. So Taurus, like all the earth sign has all ears and eyes on wealth. But, our fellow Taurus does love to dabble in the extra extvagant lifestyle filled with cozy food, a warm house and substances to indulge.

◽Libra on the other hand is a cardinal sign, this meaning it is more flexible to new happenings and more outgoing. This openness amplifies with this sign being an air sign. So Libra is the practical, diplomatic, energetic and of course balanced sign. This sign is all about partnerships as well. You won't really catch Libra happily single honestly. This also goes hand in hand when looking into the house Libra rules: the 7th house. This house is known as the house of partnerships, marriage, sweethearts, business partnerships and visible enemies. It also is a house of your grandfather. It's main purpose is to show where you'll need to bend your personality to accomplish duties with others. Libras such as Tauruses love the finer things in life, enjoy dressing good and having a good reputation aswell. There not as cold and introverted as there beloved sister Taurus.

◽Their style of clothes, friends, interior differ in a sense. Both have expensive taste, don't get me wrong. But...a homebody Taurus loves coziness over all. Their style will be more bohemian, laid back. They are the crystal girlies who love drinking tea by their bedside in a room filled with intriguing art and plants. Libra on the other hand loves to stand out. They live for high fashion, nice heels, a comfortable but trendy coat followed by a designer purse. Their house has to have a furry companion, expensive wine and Tiffany lamps.

Libra also loves hosting dinner parties and brunches! They love to cook and prepare for others or just organize a nice outing with their big friend group! Tauruses on the other hand like a more surine gathering. They don't enjoy a lot of people, to be quite frank they love a one on one the most. Their ideal hanging out strategy are one's in nature surrounded by creeks, ponds, little animals and a nice rolled up joint. To pug it shortly think of Libras friends as a buffet and Taurus as a picnic! It's the same concept put a completely different outcome.

Now what to we have with our observations! Their will be a more than per usual since Venusian energy follows me wherever I go. I've had at least 3 relationships with a fellow Taurus and was born into a household by two Libras. So in that sense, I've seen/felt a lot of Venusian energy!

⚪ Libra sun's need a partner, they just never want to live alone or do anything without the help of a partner. Especially if your chart doesn't have any earth, you die for romance and partnership. Libra sun's also don't get mad that easy, they truly are pacifists and diplomatic creatures most of the times. This doesn't apply if you have a fire moon though, forget any nice wording from that Libra than.

⚪ Libra men with a gemini venus is a complete disaster. I said what I said, stay away from that man. He's a good one night stand/friends with benefits type,not going to lie, but in my perspective not really boyfriend material. Sorry not sorry. Also if he has a lot of earth/water signs, of course it can help with not being a complete demon to my fellow lover girls.

⚪ Libra risings, as you all know are just stunning. Of course, there ruled by Venus. The girls are always angelic looking with a fierce bubbly attitude and the men have amazing style. Think of Harry Styles, Kate Winslet, Doja Cat and Beyonce. They embody femininity and have this constant glow to them! Chefs kiss really.

⚪ Libra moons are in my perspective the easiest air sign to have. They aren't really amazing in the feeling emotions department, but they are fearly reliable when in need! Not clingy nor detached.

⚪ Chiron in Libra can be such a heartbreaking placement in my eyes. These natives constitley seek partnerships with others, but see themselves as worthless partners. Not worthy of love nor passion. This wound must be healed by understanding imperfection in both parties and expressing love to yourself the most!

⚪ Libra Mars, ugh. I have a difficult relationship with this placement. In one way Mars is at its fall in this sign, but again people with this placement hate conflicts and really try to sort it out the right way. Again if your Mercury is in a fire sign, forget I said anything. But their actions can be seen as "passive". They also looooove dirty talk, being experimental in the bedroom and love a passionate/cute sexual experience.

⚪ Taurus men. I mean I can write a whole ass post about this theme. I've seen quite similar patterns in Taurus men. Firstly they love stable relationships and find new girlfriends very easily. Secondly they love to smoke weed, pardon me...they are absolute potheads and want to grow their own plants, take care of them etc. They really enjoy being high and doing everything while being high. They also are very jealous but also passionate. All they want is a calm girlfriend who they can travel with, eat cozy meals with and take shrooms in the forest. Don't forget to give them back massages and head rubs, they really are such princesses.

⚪ Taurus Venus...also one of my favorites. They are just so damn stunning without a shirt on. They love to be put on their stomach and caressed all night. Also, some of them love getting gently choked. They really are the pillow princess and the submissive boy.

⚪ Venus in the 1st house, damn. They are beautiful no matter what. The girls have the typical Venus body, hips, boobies, booty. The hourglass figure if you will. The boys have these magnetic eyes with lashes to the ceiling. Their smile will make anyone stare and drowl. The girls with this placement love a guy with soft features, plump lips and ideally curly hair. The guys love fruity perfumes, nicely done nails and silk hair. They both have to look put together for the guy/girl.

⚪ Venus in the 2nd house means the native will inharit money based of of their looks, sexuality, feminine power. It's a good placement to the native since Venus is at home!

⚪ Venus in the 10th house can mean your career can be based on your looks aswell. For example I know some girls who are burlesque dancers with this placement.

⚪ Venus in the 5 house can mean you indulge in a hedonistic lifestyle a little too often. Like a one night stand? Like museums? Like fine dining? All at once?

[sophieinwonderland]

My headcannon is that when human beings first came to existence, they were supposed to have alters and headmates to share the load of work, but then it just went away, but all of them are still in the back of every person’s mind like: “Dude, what the hell? Tell Tiffany you didn’t wanna go to that party! Screw being late to school, pet that damn dog!” And we just perceive that as our thoughts and talking to ourselves. /j

—Geovanni

Seriously though, what do you think (or is there evidence of) a survival mechanism behind plurality, or did it begin when urban and modern society began due to stress and such?

Ooh! There are so many layers to this! This is going to be fun! 😊

20,000 BC

I think we can start with dissociation, because let's face it, living in the past probably would have been pretty traumatic. And it makes sense people would have a mechanism to separate themselves from that trauma.

Imagine the year is 20,000 BC. You're a child being raised in a home made of the bones of the mighty mammoths. The world outside is a harsh, frigid wasteland. It's kill or be killed. And you've been taught this from a young age. Your youth is preparing to hunt the monsters that stalk the land, like the great beast whose bones were used to construct your home.

As you grow, you likely would find yourself living a dual-life. On one hand, you're the killer, the hunter of monsters. On the other, you need to be kind and caring to your family and friends because humans are social creatures. You need to be able to put the killer inside you to sleep when you're at home.

I don't usually think of the metaphor of having a work self and home self as being a plural thing. But I think it might become one when your "work self" involves entering a dangerous world of monsters where you need to hunt to survive every day.

This, I feel, is a good explanation for the evolutionary advantage of dissociation to our ancestors

But that leaves out non-traumagenic plurality.

Before we get to this, let's talk about something that isn't plural itself but is related.

Evolution of Dream Characters!

Here's one curious feature of humanity that we all kind of take for granted...

We have a holodeck in our head! An ability to, every night, create realistic mental simulations of the world.

There are many explanations for this ability, but personally, I take the view that it's intended as a conflict simulator. A danger room without the danger. How do you ensure that a species will survive the dangers of the world? You let them simulate the dangers they expect will happen every single night. It's like how a speech will go better if you rehearse what you're going to say first. Being forced to simulate a hunt will you make better prepared for it.

In my opinion, dreams are rehearsal for battling sabretooth tigers.

This is why so many dreams involve conflict, and even why we so often have nightmares. A nightmare is just your mind simulating how you would deal with something you're afraid of.

But where this gets really interesting and scary is that dreams don't just simulate circumstances and creatures. Dreams simulate people.

This also makes a lot of sense from an evolutionary perspective. There's an advantage to being able to predict how other people would react to you, and replay scenarios in your mind to train yourself for human interaction.

The strange thing is that these temporary people that we call dream characters are often fully autonomous. Even most lucid dreamers who learn to control other aspects of their dreams still can't control their dreams characters.

To me, this only makes sense if dream characters are temporary dissociated agents. Not exactly alters since they don't front. And not even full headmates since they don't last longer than the dream. But using similar mechanisms.

Evolution of Tulpas and Daydream Characters

With all of this in mind, I want to point out that daydreams and imagination exist for a similar reason as dreams. They're to simulate things. The difference is that daydreams and imagination are usually more controlled and less autonomous. You choose the simulation you want to run.

The reason that tulpas are able to exist is that, if someone were to imagine the same character over and over again, the brain might see that character as being more important. Conscious control over an imaginary character slows the simulation down and can interfere with it running, so the simulation needs to become automatized. And over time, with repeated interaction, that simulation could grow to develop its own autobiographical memories and become fully sapient.

In 20,000 BC, it wouldn't be recognized as a headmate, but probably some sort of external spirit or deity.

But why do these things work this way? Why is it possible for tulpas to exist, be sentient, and even front?

The brain is lazy

I think the brain's design cut corners and uses the same mechanisms for all of these that it uses to make the singlet "self."

There's a certain logic to this. If you need the brain to simulate other sentient people, why wouldn't it just use the same ones it uses to simulate the host?

Especially when the brain wasn't designed. These various mechanisms likely just evolved out of each other. Did the brain evolve to simulate a "self" first and later evolve to simulate "other" people? Or did we have the ability to simulate other people first, and later our sense of self evolved from that?

Whatever the case may be, I'm sure one did evolve from the other, and this is the reasons for a lot of the oddities we experience in plurality.

Anyway, that's my theory! 😁

[sl-newsie]

Spelled (Descendants x Sanderson Daughter): Red's Rising

“A 5-year graduation reunion?”

“Yes, following the opening ceremony for the upcoming school year. That’s next week.”

Fairy Godmother’s sink in. How has it already been five years? 

“But I didn’t officially graduate,” I reply with an arched brow. “Got run out of school, remember?”

The kind woman smiles and takes my hand. “You’ll be awarded a diploma nonetheless.”

An official education? Sounds fancy. But the past years of studying witchcraft have taught me far more than any textbook could. 

“This means that you can apply to be an official member of the Magic Committee.”

My eyes widen. Five years ago I would have killed to be on the council. To be taken seriously. But time can change one’s perspective.

“With all due respect,” I start slowly. “I think my place in Auradon lies somewhere else rather than discussing politics. Something… independent.”

She nods in understanding, though still saddened at my decision. “Will you be staying for the reunion?”

“Of course.” Now to tackle a different topic. “You mentioned that you have a meeting with Uma?”

Fairy Godmother’s eyes light up. “Oh! Yes! She’s probably on her way now. Um, would you like to stay? She can be a bit… bold.”

I chuckle and stand up from the couch. “Uma’s like that with everyone. I’m sorry but I’ve already promised Ben I would meet with him.”

I give her a final handshake and pass through the room, taking a moment to look at Carlos’ portrait hanging proudly on the wall. He would have been proud to see Auradon’s program come this far. How much everyone’s accomplished. Jane, being the ambitious go-getter she is, became a foreign exchange student in Auradon. Audrey, having found love in planning Mal’s wedding, became a wedding planner. Tiffany’s been working at Miss Muffett’s, Fiona landed her own spot on the Magic Committee, Lonnie is a member of the royal guard, Doug’s the best security technician in the kingdom, and Rosaline appropriately became a hair product saleswoman.

Back in the courtyard, Ben and Mal are waiting. Packed luggage waits next to them.

“Late honeymoon?” I joke.

The beared king laughs. “No, this isn’t a pleasure trip.”

“We’re sailing the Trident Seas for international diplomacy,” Mal says. “Ben says he’s wanted to do it for a long time but our kingdom needed to be dealt with first.

I remember hearing his dreams like it was yesterday. “And you left Uma in charge? Smart choice.”

“Well since FG’s being made the President of Auradon University, Uma will bring order for the time being. We thought about asking you, but…”

“I’m not exactly jumping for joy to boss around kids,” I finish for her. “You read my mind.” I snicker. “I gave up being Royal Advisor ages ago. Honestly, all the politics and rules are starting to bore me. I’ll pass.”

Honk honk!

The familiar limo drives up and Remus pokes his head out. “Time to set sail!”

The couple gives me one final group hug and they both climb in. Before they take off for the harbor Remus gives me a wave.

“Still up for that walk by the Bewitched River?”

A blush colors my cheeks. “Yes, when you get back!” I call as he starts to drive.

“A walk?” Uma taunts from behind.

I groan and turn around to face the aqua-haired VK. “Yes. A walk, nothing more.”

“Sounds like a date,” she smirks. “You deserve a treat, Sparky.”

“Treat? I want a treat!” A voice whines.

Dude comes bounding across the lawn and jumps onto a rock. The sight of the mutt makes me smile. After all these years he’s still got spunk.

“On a different note,” Uma continues. “I’m about to go talk to FG about my plans. I’ve decided to include Wonderland in our student program.”

Wonderland. Hm. I’ve heard rumors but never gone too deep down the rabbit hole. Literally. 

But Uma’s not finished. “And I’d like you to be in charge of magic security.”

My thinking comes to a halt. Magic security? Must be a new position. But why bring me into this? Uma knows I’m not a fan of high authority.

“No one else can? What about Fiona or Bianca?”

Uma pretends to think deeply. “Hm. A snippy fairy, or the most powerful witch in Auradon? It’s an easy choice. I trust you.”

Trust. The word feels refreshing. But the unknown of Wonderland still leaves me uneasy.

“Uma, is this a good idea?”

She takes a deep breath. “Magica. We both know what it’s like to grow up in an unwanted place. I need you to help me make the new student feel welcomed. How do you think she’ll react when she gets here?”

Uma’s right. This girl’s past could potentially mirror my own, or any other VK’s for that matter. 

“I can’t speak for others, but she could very well be scared. Auradon isn’t like Wonderland and she might need help adjusting.”

“Sound familiar?” Uma asks, then gives me a pleading look. “Please.”

Dude nuzzles against my boots, almost giving a sign to say yes.

“You’re right. And if Carlos were here, he’d say the same thing.”

One week flies by and before I know it it’s time to welcome the new students. If only some of the old ones weren’t leaving.

“Will you be returning to Oz?” I ask Evangaline as she hauls her luggage across the courtyard.

My green cousin stops to give me a tight hug.

“Yes. It’s my home. I’d love to explore Auradon more but I’ve been waiting so long to be home.”

“You’ve made wonderful progress at Auradon Prep,” I smile. “Your parents will be proud.”

Evangeline squeezes my hand. “And so will your mom.”

Mother. I do miss her. The spellbook containing my family is still safe at home but the thought of bringing them back has been taunting my conscience for the past year.

“Oh by the way, how’s Willow?”

Hilarious. Another jab from my past. After the whole turning Willow into a plant situation, I reversed the spell and returned her back to normal. In a sputtering mess Willow apologized and seemed to grow a genuine fear of me. I reassured her that there are no more hard feelings. 

“She wrote me last month. Said she’s settled in Charmington.”

“It’s good to hear that not all Sandersons are afraid of letting go of a grudge.” Evangaline finishes packing her luggage into her green car and gives me one last hug. “Goodbye, cousin.”

“Safe travels.”

So off drives another friend. Maybe I can make some new ones- Or rekindle old friendships.

“All set, Remus?” I ask as I approach the red head, who's wearing a spiffy white suit.

“I guess so. Uma’s stationed me near the front gate to inspect the cars.”

Is it wrong to think of how cute he looks in his suit? These past years have allowed my heart to heal from grieving Carlos, but have also allowed for me to detach from the idea of having only one true love. I know deep down that Carlos wouldn’t want me to keep myself stuck on him, so I’ve slowly been moving on. Remus has been nothing but patient and understanding. But has that been through friendship, or something more?

“Excuse me, where do we check in?” A dark-haired girl asks. “I’m Jade, by the way. Jasmine’s daughter.”

“Oh, of course! Right over there.” I point to the forming line.

Goodness, everyone showed up for the opening ceremony. Yzma’s daughter Yanitza, the Madrigals, Sylvia, King Arthur’s heir Adam. I can’t believe all these people have traveled here just to be part of this!

“Magica!” And here comes Lonnie in her new uniform. “Magica, since you’re now the head of magic security I thought I should touch base on a few things. Merida has set a perimeter just in case the Queen of Hearts isn’t so friendly. Where would you like us to escort Queen Anna?”

This all feels too familiar to when I was Royal Advisor. Only this time instead of carrying out Ben’s wishes I’m being asked for my own perspective. It’s starting to grow on me.

“I think the best place would be the tea room, so she won’t be crowded. She can give her speech after Uma kicks things off.”

The soldier nods. “Good choice. It’s better to think ahead before everyone gets here and starts running a-muck.”

Uh-Oh.

My eyes spark and I hold my hands stiffly to my sides. No, no! Not now- But it’s too late. I start clapping and twirling around, unable to control myself. 

“A-muck, a-muck, a-muck-!”

“Easy now,” a calm voice says and I feel someone behind me. It’s Remus. 

“Is she okay?” Lonnie asks.

“Just excited, that’s all,” he replies and rests his hands on my shoulders, wearing a big grin. “Aren’t you?”

I get my own sheepish smile and look to the ground. Lord, why today? 

“Thanks,” I mutter once Lonnie’s gone.

“Don’t fret about it. I think it’s cute.” Remus suddenly gets a concerned expression when he sees someone behind me. “Is that them?”

I turn around to see who he’s talking about. It is. The Royal Hearts family themselves. Their clothing practically screams red royalty. The queen’s wearing a blood-red gown with roses making up the skirt. A giant heart is formed into her bodice and collar. Her daughter obviously shares her tastes. Her leather outfit reminds me of Mal’s old one, only it’s red too. Patterned with hearts, of course. They each share the same red hair, only Red’s is curlier.

And no one looks happy to see them.

Everyone gasps in horror and scatters out of the way as the red royals march up to the school entrance. The princess’ look hides a smidgen of apology for their harshness but the queen’s enjoying their fear. We watch them get to the line. People are still tense- Except for Queen Cinderella. Is it just me or does it look like they know each other? The red queen’s icy glare shows dangerous chemistry between them. It seems to be spreading to their daughters as well.

“I’ll go handle them,” I assure Remus and make my way over.

 I’ve never personally met Chad’s younger sister Chloe but from what I’ve heard she’s a lamb compared to the other Charming sibling. The blue-haired girl sees me approaching and she gets a giddy smile.

“Oh! You’re Magica Sanderson! I’ve heard so much about you!”

Her excitement to see me is not shared by Red. She gives an annoyed groan and leans against the wall while her mother banters with Chloe’s mom. Uma’s guess about Red wanting to be here could be right if the Queen of Hearts wasn’t so keen on spreading her ego today.

Meow!

Something claws at my skirt. A feline I haven’t seen in years.

“Twilight?” I gasp and scoop up the black and white cat. “Where have you been, you frisky kitty?”

“He hitched a ride with us from Wonderland,” Red speaks up. “She must have fallen down the rabbit hole.” She scans me with uncertainty. While all the other AKs are wearing cheerful sundresses, my own attire of a purple corset dress and laced boots sticks out like a sore thumb. “You are… different. Are you a VK too?”

“Indeed. Magica Sanderson, at your service, Princess Red.”

She huffs a laugh. “Red, please. Being a princess is being a prisoner.”

So I’m right. Red does want to be here but it’s to escape her mother’s parenting. Can’t say I blame her given my own family history.

“Try being the daughter of a witch who wants to eat children’s souls,” I joke lightly.

Red chuckles. “Touché. Eh, no matter. Once school starts I’m gonna paint Auradon red.” Um, alright. Not sure what to say to that. She looks around the courtyard with slight surprise. “How did commoners get in?”

How different are things in Wonderland? 

“Actually royal status doesn’t matter at Auradon Prep,” I explain gently. “At least it shouldn’t. There are some, not giving names, that still hold themselves high for it.”

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Stop the teasing, I know you mean Chad.”

“Yes. Remind me, how did he get into college?” I mutter under my breath with a doubtful tone. 

“What about her?” Red points to a ‘“commoner” girl on the bench reading a book.

“That’s Annie Kelly. Her mother runs the orphanage and her father works in our stables.”

Red nods and points to another new student. “And him?”

“That’s her cousin Denton Jacobs. His parents work for the biggest newspress in Auradon- I’ll take that.” I reach out and swipe another boy’s cigar.

“Hey! That’s my cigar!” he whines.

My eyes narrow and I wave a finger at him. “No smoking in public places.”

He scowles and takes off sprinting to follow some other kids. “I wasn’t gonna smoke it!”

“Antonio Higgins, if I catch you running again you’ll be scrubbing floors for a month!” I warn. “Celia, Elvin, stop encouraging him!”

Forget magic security. My biggest challenge is going to be keeping these rascals in check.

“By the way, do you know Maddie Hatter?” I ask Red.

“I know her brother, Maddox. He’s my tutor. And my… friend.” She pauses. “I talk to him when mom’s not being the friendliest… which is often.”

Oh. Red’s got so much potential. Why does her mother have to hold her back?

“Coming from someone whose aunt worships the Devil, I know what it’s like to not get along with family.”

Red’s stern gaze softens. “How do you deal with it?”

“I don’t let my heritage define my future. At first I never thought I could fit in at Auradon Prep, much less make friends. It took some time, and a few mishaps, but it’s how I’m here now. That, and it helps that my coven is locked away in a spellbook.”

That sparks her interest but we’re interrupted when Cinderella walks over.

“Hello, dears!” She smiles kindly at us and playfully nudges Chloe. “I hope my daughter’s behaving.”

Chloe rolls her eyes. “Yes, mom.”

“I’m going to miss you.” Cinderella squeezes her into a hug. “And so will your father.”

She walks off into the courtyard to take a seat. I’ll admit her daughter is a peach compared to Chad, but how did he not end up with the blue hair?

Chloe groans. “School's gonna be a break from my family. I love them dearly but I’m sick of seeing my parents make heart eyes at each other.”

Red and I share a look. We were just discussing our troubled family dynamics and she complains of having loving parents?

Uh-oh. The red queen’s noticed us and is coming this way.

“Darling!” She smiles tightly and pulls Red to her, eyeing me closely. “Who is this?”

Careful. Don’t set off her temper. If it’s anything like Aunt Winnie’s I want no part of it and I don’t feel like having my head chopped off. 

I curtsey politely. “Magica Sanderson, your Royal Highness.”

The queen tilts her head. “Finally, someone who recognizes power. The daughter of Winifred Sanderson. I should have guessed from that ridiculous pointed hat.”

“Actually I am Sarah’s daughter,” I correct her.

She puts a hand to her chest and chuckles. “Oh that’s bupkis. How is the daughter of Sarah so… level-headed?” 

My jaw drops. It’s like a broken record. The instant people begin to respect my heritage, someone comes along and kicks it into the mud. Red catches my appalled reaction and leads the queen away, who's still laughing at me.

“Don’t listen to her,” Chloe says. “Maybe being in Auradon will help change her.”

I scoff. “Which one? The prejudiced killer queen or her clone of a daughter?”

Normally I wouldn’t think such dark thoughts but how much more must I have fingers pointed at me? Instead of screaming in terror at my name the queen mocks my mother’s dumb kindness.

“Come on, Magica!” Chloe pulls me along. “It’s starting!”

Maybe the welcome ceremony will lift my spirits. Fairy Godmother stands ready on stage and signals for everyone to be quiet.

“Attention please! Parents and students, it has been a great privilege to serve you. But the time has come for another to take my place. So please join me in welcoming Auradon Prep’s new principal!” 

We all turn to see Uma’s crew flipping down the aisle chanting her name. Out strides Uma, making her grand entrance as usual. Hasn’t lost her touch.

“What’s my name?” She asks the crew.

“Uma!” 

She smirks and points to the audience. “That’s Principal Uma to you. So you better get it straight, or you’ll be walking the plank.”

“She’s just kidding, just kidding!” Fairy Godmother assures the crowd.

“I never got to go to Auradon Prep. But as its captain I am proud to be charting a new course to a bright future. Beyond the old ways of heroes and villains.” Uma finds me standing in the back and we both nod. “So in that spirit I’d like to welcome Princess Red of Wonderland.”

Everyone looks expectantly at Red but the royal red pair remains seated. The queen seems to be toying with something… Playing cards?

“Excuse me.” The queen’s head rises to look at Uma. “Do you mind?” she asks kindly.

"I do, actually,” she replies tartly, looking at the crowd. “Hm.”

“Mom, what are you doing?” Red asks nervously.

“Oh, I’m playing my favorite game.” She chuckles as she stands and shuffles the deck. “Waaaarrrr!”

The queen’s Hellish cackle fills the air. She throws the cards into the sky, causing a cloud of red cascading across the sun. Pop! Pop! What in the name of Auradon-? They’re soldiers?!

Red heart soldiers pop from the cards and land all around, caging us in. The queen flicks out more cards and they block the exits. Uma’s trying her best to fight the soldiers with her sword but I can already tell it won’t be enough. Where’s-? Fairy Godmother! She has her wand!

“Bibbidi bobbity-”

The red queen’s icy glare stares her down. “No.”

Another card flicks across and collides with the wand, snapping it in two. Dear God. 

Fairy Godmother stands there still as stone, trying to piece together what just happened. Red’s watching it all with the same expression.

“No! Let go of me!” Uma grunts.

There’s no way I can fight these soldiers hand to hand. Even my most powerful magic is too dangerous to use. I could hurt the captives. Oh! My invisibility cloak!

I slip it on just in time to see the queen striding towards Fairy Godmother with a triumphant smirk.

Red’s still shocked. “Mom, this is crazy! Even for you!”

“Crazy, crazy that it’s taken this long,” her mother mutters with malice. “I have been waiting years to be welcomed back into Auradon! So thank you, Red. You finally did something useful.”

Red’s invitation. Her mother used it to infiltrate Auradon when our guard was lowered. She can't even be proud of her daughter for wanting an education.

“I should've known this was never about me,” Red whispers, shaking her head.

Her mom’s eyes narrow. “Everything I do is for you.”

“That was my invitation. My school. My life.”

“Someday you’ll thank me.” She pats Red’s shoulder and smiles at Fairy Godmother, holding what looks like a small mirror. “Oh! And we’ve already seen the ending. Spoiler alert! We win.”

Through the scrambling crowd Cinderella makes her way to the front, only to be stopped by the queen’s guards. “Stop it, Bridget. You’re better than this.”

Her Cheshire grin sends chills down my spine. “Let her through.”

The guards comply and push the blue royal ahead.

“This is too far. I know what happened was hard on you but that was ages ago.”

Talk about never forgetting. And I thought my family held grudges.

The red queen simply looks down at her with murder in her narrowed eyes. “Feels like yesterday to me.”

Cinderella shakes her head “It was a stupid prank.”

“Stupid? Who could forgive humiliating a girl at her first dance? Turning me into a monster in front of everyone? Now that’s just cruel.”

“You’re right,” Cinderella admits.

The red royal sneers. “You didn’t care then. You were off with your prince. Ooh, but you will now. You will all show me the respect I deserve!” She points down at her. “Now kneel.”

“I will never kneel to a tyrant,” the blue queen rejects.

“Ugh. She’s denied a royal order.” The Queen of Hearts looks at her daughter. “What do we do about that, darling?”

This whole time Red’s stayed quiet. There’s no denying the guilt behind her eyes. She’s too young to be given an order to kill someone.

“Look. All you have to do is pledge allegiance. Is that so hard?”

Cinderella also seems to see she’s hesitant. “If it means giving up everything I stand for, yes.”

Her mom is getting impatient. “Who are you loyal to, Red? Hm? These strangers? Or your mother? Hm? Now make me proud. For once.”

Ouch.

“Come on, Bridget. Even your daughter knows it’s wrong. She can’t do it.”

That sparks something. Why did she have to say that? That’s just edging Red on even further!

“Treason. She’s guilty of treason!” Red declares to the crowd of captured guests.

“Exactly right, my dear. And that means off with her head!” 

Lightning crackles across the sky. An execution? Lord, I have to do something! But what?

“Shoo.” The red queen waves her hand at the guards, signaling for them to drag Cinderella away. 

“It’s gonna be ok, Chloe.”

But her daughter is far from calm. “Mom? Mom!”

“I love you! Be strong, Chloe!”

The blue royal is dragged away to the dungeon. Chloe tries to follow but the guards block her path. She grips her sword and stands to challenge the red royals.

“That’s not fair! Let her go!”

The queen shows mock surprise. “Oh, bless your heart.”

Chloe charges with her sword held high. In the corner of my eye Red’s pulling something out. A pocket watch-?

Flash!

The two girls collide and a snap of light engulfs them. I’ve seen some strange magic in my time but that was something completely new. That was no portal, no spell… What could possibly have caused them to vanish?

“Oof!”

One of the guards crashes into me, sending us both tumbling to the ground and my cloak slips off. Oh no-!

“Well well, what have we here?” The red queen looks down at me. “Here, let’s fix you up, shall we?”

She snaps her fingers and another guard hauls me to my knees. Ow! I feel them clasp something around my neck- A metal collar. Attached to a red chain.  

“Stop this madness!” I order and hold up a hand. But no magic sparks to life. An enchanted collar?

“Obey, Sanderson.” The queen yanks the chain and I fall to the muddy ground. “Do you want these people to suffer?”

“Let her go!” I hear Remus growl somewhere.

The queen huffs. “No.”

He fights his way forward. His suit is just as torn as my dress. “Take me instead!”

Wh-What? No, Remus! What are you doing?

“Hm. A Sanderson witch or a simple peasant? I don’t think so.” Guards seize Remus and force him to kneel. The red royal approaches him slowly with an intrigued smirk. “Interesting… Oh, how precious! You love her.”

My pulse snaps. Love? 

Remus doesn’t back down. He keeps glaring up at her with his jaw set tight. In a split second his gaze flickers to mine. He’s biting his tongue. Why would he speak out to save me? Quit it, Remus! She’ll chop off your head!

“Yes. I love her. Please don’t hurt her anymore.”

My jaw drops. He loves me? 

“And I thought your father was pathetic,” the queen sneers. “The question is does she return your love?”

Everyone’s eyes turn down to me. Do I love him…? Yes. I do love you, Remus. Despite my stubborn mind telling me not to, my heart can’t let you go. But how can I answer yes? She’ll use Remus as leverage against me. I can’t put him at further risk.

My lip quivers as I lift my saddened eyes to the diabolical royal. “No. I do not love him.”

It’s convincing, because the reaction it gets from Remus shows me his heart just broke. I know that look all too well. I’m so sorry.

“Aw, boo-hoo,” the queen mocks and waves her hand. “Lock her away and I’ll find use for her later. Maybe a housemaid.”

Locked away. My fears are coming true. Go ahead, Royal Highness. Lock me away in the dark where no one can ever find me. I’ve been broken before, I can heal again. But will Remus?

The chain is tugged and I’m forced to follow, but suddenly a man bursts through the crowd. The guards grab him just before he reaches the queen.

“Ah, Charming. So nice to see you again.”

He must be Chloe and Chad’s father. God, how to tell him his wife is being executed and his daughter has vanished?

“Where is she? Where’s Cinderella?” he demands.

“Why? Are you looking for these?” The red royal holds up a gleaming pair of silver heels that’s just been handed to her. Oh Lord. I’m too late.

Charming’s face falls. “What have you done?”

She lazily flings them to the ground and they shatter. The king falls to his knees and reaches out for the gleaming shards.

“Not so funny now, am I?”

“No… No! No!” I screech as I’m pulled away. 

“Quiet!” The guard leading me barks. 

I hang my head in shame, crawling pathetically down stone stairs into the inky darkness. Whatever prison or dungeon this is, none will ever be able to hide my disgrace.

“In here!”

The sound of creaking metal means a door is being opened. The guard grips my torso and tosses me in, locking the cell. How did I let this happen? I was supposed to be in charge of magic security. Is there no right place for me in Auradon?

How long has it been? How many more innocent lives have been slaughtered because of the queen’s rage? Why must she keep me locked down here instead of killing me too?

Thud thud thud!

Hurried footsteps alert me to look up. Someone’s coming. Probably to finish the job-

“Remus?” I gasp weakly.

He kneels down and clings the bars separating us. How can he still love me after what I said? Why would he risk coming down here?

“I’m sorry, I had to see you. I-I’m sorry about earlier…” He pants and hangs his head. “I know what you’ve been through and never want you to feel that pain again. But… I love you, Magica.” He softly presses his hand to mine. “Even though you’ll hate me-”

“No, no,” I quickly interrupt. I’m not going through this again. I’m not pretending to not love someone anymore. “Remus I could never hate you. I… I think I love you too. Even though I’m supposed to have only one true love.” I try to ease the atmosphere with a small chuckle. “Guess I cheated Fate after all.”

Remus’ melancholy face shifts to one of bewildered enchantment. He leans his forehead against the bars and slips a hand through to caress my cheek. I’d forgotten what it’s like to feel loved. I miss it.

“Is this okay?” he asks softly, his eyes never leaving mine.

“No tricks,” I answer honestly and press a soft kiss to his cheek through the bars.

If there was no cage separating me I would bury myself in his arms and give all the love I have left. But even through this small act Remus moans against the bars to show his affection.

“I won’t let them hurt you,” he promises and gets up to search for the key. “I’ll get you out of here-”

I grab his hand to stop him. “No. If I rebel against the queen she’ll hurt you.”

Remus kneels down again, this time with a stern look. “Do not ask me to have to witness you walking to the courtyard to have your head chopped off.”

Aw. Gory, but still very sweet. He’s-

Snap!

Ow! Something tugs at my head, almost as if an invisible knife is slicing through my brain. I buckle down and Remus starts panicking.

“Something’s happening…” I grunt in pain.

“Magica! What’s wrong?”

“Something’s… changing.”

Indeed, I feel the magic around us being warped. What-?

Flash!

“What’s my name?” She asks the crew.

“Uma!” 

She smirks and points to the audience. “That’s Principal Uma to you. So you better get it straight, or you’ll be walking the plank.”

“She’s just kidding, just kidding!” Fairy Godmother assures the crowd.

“I never got to go to Auradon Prep. But as its captain I am proud to be charting a new course to a bright future. Beyond the old ways of heroes and villains.” She finds me standing in the back and we both nod. “So in that spirit I’d like to welcome Princess Red of Wonderland.”

Everyone looks expectantly for Red but she’s staying near the back while her mother remains seated. The queen seems to be toying with something… Playing cards?

“Excuse me.” The queen’s head rises to look at Uma. “Do you mind?” she asks kindly.

I do, actually,” she replies.

“Mom, what are you doing?” Red asks nervously.

“We’re my favorite game.” She chuckles as she stands and shuffles the deck. “Hearts!”

The queen’s red and white gown stands out in the crowd. Wait. I could've sworn her dress was all red. And she’s… smiling? The cards fly across the sky and pop into heart-shaped bubbles. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She apologizes to the crowd. “I couldn’t help myself, I’m just so excited for my daughter to be here.”

Her loving gaze traces back to Red, who’s approaching with her own smile. 

“Well nothing I say is gonna top that, so… Have a great year, y’all!” Uma finishes.

Something changed. But what? It feels like a faint dream but I swear I was imprisoned in chains.

The crowd laughs in delight as Twilight and Dude run to and fro through the sea of people. While the students and parents dance and enjoy the snack table I walk up to the redhead VK. 

“I don’t know what you did, but you’ve proven to be good, Red. But thou be warned: manipulating the future has a cost. The bill will come due.”

But before she can respond her mother tugs her away for a dance. Uma walks up from behind and we both watch Red and Chloe jig about.

“Getting your way can be dangerous when you mess with the fabric of time,” Uma says. “They did something, didn’t they?”

I nod. “You and I both sense it. Something shifted not too long ago.”

Just then Remus walks into the room with Adam in tow. Remus. Does he-? Could that have been a dream too? Or maybe…

“Go to him,” Uma says. “It’s time you went on a date, Sparky. Though I never pinned you for a ginger fan.”

I roll my eyes. “Uma-”

“No, no, I get it!” She holds her hands up defensively. “A Rumpelstiltskin and a Sanderson? It sounds like a match! Now go.”

She pushes me forward and I nearly trip on my skirt.

“Okay, okay, I’m going!” I giggle. God, please let it be so. “Remus! Can I talk to you? Alone?”

The spark in his eye tells me he does feel the same. “Sure! See ya later, Adam.”

He offers an arm, which I graciously take, and we walk out to the gardens where it’s less noisy and more private.

“So, what’s on your mind?” he asks. “I think today went pretty good.”

“Remus, would you like to go out on a date sometime?”

The question throws him off guard. Remus stops in his tracks and looks at me as if an angel just descended. 

“Wha- Really? Yes! How did you know?”

“I just… Know. Once upon a time you might have confessed to me. Not that you remember- It’s complicated.”

Remus shrugs and nudges my shoulder. “You know best. So… Does that offer for a date still stand?”

I nudge him back with a playful smile. “Yes.”

He catches my gaze again and we stop walking. No words, just two young people testing the waters. Time truly is a fickle thing. We’re not quite grown-ups, but I’m worlds away from where I used to be. Who I used to be. Maybe Remus is the person who’s been there for me all along.

Remus breaks the silence. “Does this mean things are normal again?” he whispers.

I have to stop myself from smirking. “Things are never normal for us, Remus.”

“Yeah, but… Can we abnormally be a couple?”

He’s leaning closer. Unknowingly I’ve gotten closer too. We each see an unspoken message and our lips finally meet. No memories of Carlos trouble me with guilt. I just feel Remus, and the love that he feels for me. It’s no wonder people enjoy love so much. It’s time to end my time of being alone and search for the next step in my life.

We break apart to breathe, but don’t stray too far. Whatever the future brings… It shows so much potential.

“With a little bit of luck, I hope so.”

[weaselandfriends]

Web Fiction, Recently Read

Hello! I'm still early into writing the Pokémon story I discussed in a previous post. I've been writing and rewriting certain parts to better grasp some of the characters, so while I do have some completed chapters, I still consider the story in the planning phase. At the same time, I've recently read a few webfics, and thought I'd share some thoughts here.

1. Floornight by Nostalgebraist

Floornight is short but dense, and in terms of its plot, themes, and focus shares many similarities with Almost Nowhere, a later work by the same author that I read and discussed in a previous post.

This work is the Problem Sleuth to Almost Nowhere's Homestuck. At least, reading the two works back-to-back, that was the impression I struggled to shake. I would often encounter an idea in Floornight that I remembered being expanded on in much more detail in Almost Nowhere, and as such it became difficult for me to appreciate Floornight in its own right.

It's a comparison that reminds me of a quote from Roberto Bolaño's 2666:

Without turning, the pharmacist answered that he liked books like The Metamorphosis, Bartleby, A Simple Heart, A Christmas Carol. And then he said that he was reading Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's. Leaving aside the fact that A Simple Heart and A Christmas Carol were stories, not books, there was something revelatory about the taste of this bookish young pharmacist, who ... clearly and inarguably preferred minor works to major ones. He chose The Metamorphosis over The Trial, he chose Bartleby over Moby Dick, he chose A Simple Heart over Bouvard and Pecouchet, and A Christmas Carol over A Tale of Two Cities or The Pickwick Papers. What a sad paradox, thought Amalfitano. Now even bookish pharmacists are afraid to take on the great, imperfect, torrential works, books that blaze a path into the unknown. They choose the perfect exercises of the great masters. Or what amounts to the same thing: they want to watch the great masters spar, but they have no interest in real combat, when the great masters struggle against that something, that something that terrifies us all, that something that cows us and spurs us on, amid blood and mortal wounds and stench.

An unfair comparison? Certainly. Especially since longer works are not always commensurately ambitious, but instead simply bloated.

Almost Nowhere is ambitious, however, and pushes ideas touched on in Floornight to their limits, which makes reading Floornight afterward a less impressive experience than it otherwise might be. (Nostalgebraist's other work, The Northern Caves, is fundamentally dissimilar from both and thus not victim to the same comparisons.)

That's not to say I disliked Floornight. I was especially fond of the character Hermes Cept, who might be my favorite character in Nostalgebraist's canon. I love characters to whom the reader is introduced from the perspective of another character, giving the reader a certain first impression that is completely decimated when the character is given their own perspective later on. (A lot of Modern Cannibals hinges on this technique.) In Cept's case, what first appears to be an egotistical and incompetent celebrity scientist turns out to have significantly more depth and nuance than the first impression provides. Love it!

Nostalgebraist also shows off some serious writing chops during a certain battle scene near the story's climax. Another reader's longform review of Almost Nowhere comments that the story lets all its major events occur off screen, only to be known to the reader via the reactions of the characters, and to an extent Floornight is similar: Despite a Neon Genesis Evangelion-esque premise of soldiers fighting aliens, there are essentially zero scenes where soldiers fight aliens on screen. The climax changes that, though, and really makes me wonder why Nostalgebraist is so content to let things happen off screen, since he's so good at writing action when it happens.

I've now read all three of Nost's major published works, and there isn't a more exciting web fiction author today, at least that I know of. Can't wait to see where he goes next.

2. Worth the Candle by Alexander Wales

Floornight is a lean 70,000 words. Worth the Candle, an isekai LitRPG, is 1.6 million words.

I started reading this one years ago, but only made it to the second arc before giving up under the sheer immensity of it. The start was slow, and while it was improving steadily, I couldn't see myself wading through something of its size. Compared to Nostalgebraist, Wales' prose is more "serviceable" than exciting, so the value in reading is almost entirely from the plot, characters, and themes rather than the actual line-by-line reading experience. After finishing my own isekai story, Cleveland Quixotic, I decided to take a second stab at it.

Upon the reread, I was more amenable to a story that is simply a fun fantasy romp, and WtC has a strong sense of forward progression despite its length, which avoids the trap most long stories fall into of spinning their wheels without accomplishing anything.

As I got further into it, however, a strong metafictional element increasingly came into play. The conceit of the story is that the protagonist, a tabletop RPG fanatic in his previous life on Earth, has been put into a world eerily similar to the ones he created as a dungeon master. His actions seem to be guided or obstructed by a mysterious, unseen dungeon master with godlike powers, and the story often becomes more about trying to understand and play to the narrative that the dungeon master wants rather than simply brute forcing through challenges one after another.

At the same time, the protagonist's dead friend from Earth seems to have been transported to the world much earlier. Their narrative was Campbellian in nature, Hero's Journey incarnate, while the protagonist's is much more postmodern and subversive. This leads to some fascinating meditations on the develop of narrative over history; one of my favorite scenes is when a story-obsessed villain believes they can kill the protagonist despite his Chosen One status because it's a postmodern story and the protagonist dying unceremoniously wouldn't be out of place.

My absolute favorite part, however, is the climax. Without spoiling too much, it involves a long delve into a seemingly endless dungeon, where characters and abilities fall away one-by-one until what is left is only a bare, emotional finale. I love climaxes that involve some kind of literal and emotional ascent; I did something similar in Modern Cannibals and Cleveland Quixotic.

In general, it's difficult to finish something so long in such a satisfactory way, which only makes the ending more impressive. I was worried this story would Muv-Luv me. A year ago, I read the famous visual novel Muv-Luv, a sprawling work that begins as a comedy slice of life and ends as a futuristic science fiction war epic. My problem with Muv-Luv wasn't that it was bad; it even had many elements I adored. But its ending, while not terrible, was merely okay, and I ultimately felt like what I got wasn't worth the time investment I put into it. Worth the Candle's ending avoided that entirely, so I can wholeheartedly recommend it despite its length.

3. Cowboy Grak 5: Yet Another Fistful of Obols by Remy (gazemaize)

Lastly, this one is a fanfic of Worth the Candle, posted coincidentally one day after I finished reading. It's by Remy, the author of Chili and the Chocolate Factory: Fudge Revelation, one of the funniest stories I've ever read. With this fanfic of a webfic, Remy cements themselves as the comedy master of the webfic sphere. I can only hope they start posting stories with more regularity...

I can't say too much about this story without spoiling almost all of Worth the Candle, so I'll keep this brief. If you've already read WtC, then you should read this 100%.

Web fiction is exciting. People are able to write all kinds of insane stuff that would never survive the streamlined mainstream publishing industry of today. I hope to read some more unique webfics and see people continually push the boundaries of what can be done with a story. (Hopefully they're not all 1.6 million words though...)

[hareofhrair]

Screenshotting because tumblr keeps shitting the bed when I try to post this, or reblog anything from OP, which I'm sure is for normal reasons. :)

I was just recently reading Pratchett's "The Wee Free Men" and it had a bit I think applies here.

"Every family in the village bought a copy of the Almanack every year, and a sort of education came from that. It was big and thick and printed somewhere far off, and it had lots of details about things like phases of the moon and the right time to plant beans. It also contained a few prophecies about the coming year, and mentioned faraway places with names like Klatch and Hersheba. Tiffany had seen a picture of Klatch in the Almanack. It showed a camel standing in a desert. She’d only found out what both those things were because her mother had told her. And that was Klatch, a camel in a desert. She’d wondered if there wasn’t a bit more to it, but it seemed that ‘Klatch = camel, desert’ was all anyone knew."

It's obvious, when thought through without the lens of racism, that the modern world exists everywhere, and that a continent where people have been living since 6000BC has probably developed beyond camels in the desert. But most people have no incentive to think it through, it's got no impact on their daily life, and so they just accept what they're shown. Which, because we live in a deeply racist society, is sepia filters and camels in the desert.

That's why it matters that American perspectives dominate media, and that so very little foreign media is allowed to get a foothold here. Unless they are curious and self motivated, all Americans will see of the rest of the world is a camel in a desert. They have to go out of their way to see otherwise, and Americans hate going out of their way.

I've griped before about the pervasive attitude towards foreign film in the US being that it is exclusively either boring art films or low budget garbage, but the way it exacerbates the cocoon of exclusively racist American perspectives we live in by discouraging people from even considering foreign films is insidious.

So US followers, this is your invitation to go watch a foreign film today! In fact, let me make it easier!

Here's a list of 10 important Palestinian films. Any of these is a great place to start. But they can be heavy, and maybe you're not a fan of dramas and want something a little lighter. Here's all the films from Southwest Asia and North Africa on Netflix, including plenty of action movies and comedies. Still not doing it for you? Here's a list of famous SWANA horror and fantasy films. Only into sci fi? Got that too! You want animation? Please god I love animation so much and America is the fucking worst about it. Pick any country in the world and it's probably making better animation than America.

If you can't find where to watch them, DM me any time and I will find them for you! I promise you will not be bothering me! I have a lot of free time and I fucking love movies!

So break the American media bubble and see what life is like in the rest of the world! What have you got to lose?

And if you're not from the US, why not throw down some movie recommendations!