#Thoughts & More

[floralmemorials]

Valentines Day & Grief

[jade-len]

Tired, 39 year old Shen Yuan is constantly nagged by his parents about giving them grandchildren. At a certain point, they were done with begging for him to marry a nice lady and just skipped to pleading for grandkids.

While the idea of having a child does make his heart yearn in a way that will definitely be dangerous if thought about for too long, he just doesn't have the time! No way! And what kind of father would he be, secretly reading cheesy, terrible webnovels in his free time? Which, mind you, is rare nowadays. He'd like to spend that valuable time getting rest via napping, thank you very much.

So what if Shen Yuan's heart swells when he sees his students run up to their parents with adorable, toothy grins? So what if he treats his class like they're his own children from time to time, spoiling them silly and proudly wearing the badge of "Best Teacher!" every year? So what if he wants a child to call his own!?

To love and care for a child, Shen Yuan has accepted that it would simply be a privilege he'll never experience.

...Think, think! Don't get so mopey now, Shen Yuan! Try to outweigh the baby fever with the pessimism you (slightly) obtained from your mean older brother!

How about this: There'll be no time for himself, none at all! Just more and more work. Come home from his job, dealing with a bunch of rowdy kids to find your own permanent little monster running around the house! At least he's getting paid for the first one!?

Shen Yuan had seen those videos and posts of kids accidentally exposing their parents embarrassing tendencies. Knowing him, his hypothetical child would have piles upon piles of blackmail on the Shen family's youngest son! Leave this old man alone, alright? Non-existent dumpling, theoretical baobei, please don't be so careless with your father's reputation...

(It would be careless too, to become a gaping hole in the heart of his child. Wouldn't it be selfish to have one, only to die a few years later?)

Over a decade ago, believe it or not, this esteemed Mr. Shen had gone by the shameless persona of "Peerless Cucumber" on the internet. He'd been an infamous anti-fan of the male power fantasy stallion web-novel series, Proud Immortal Demon Way and would leave scalding essay-length comments and posts ranting about its terrible plot point and flaming the author for his awful characterization and overall writing. That era of his life was when he actually had the time to stare into the digital sea of texts and write entire documentaries as replies for twelve hours straight. Fortunately or unfortunately, Shen Yuan doesn't have the same luxury as of now.

Despite the constant hate spewing from his younger self, present-day Shen Yuan is honestly very impressed by the constant thousand word updates every day. Honestly, looking back, how did that man accomplish that? Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, dear author, are your hands okay? Youthful Shen Yuan's hands cramped all too much from simply typing up angry comments, now imagine PIDW's author??

Aaah, yes, the former hater Peerless Cucumber had long forgotten about PIDW. The author mysteriously disappeared one day, leaving Luo Binghe out on his own for more wives to dual cultivate with as Shen Yuan had realized his passion for literature (and critique!).

With a newfound, realized passion in his heart, Shen Yuan went off to actually pursue the college education his parents had very lovingly saved (and were ecstatic he was actually using) and became a literature teacher! NEET 21 year old Shen Yuan would be quite astonished to see this dignified Mr. Shen now, yes, very much so indeed.

Now, Shen Yuan.. doesn't quite remember PIDW all too well. He begrudgingly admits that it holds a dear and special place in his heart, but in all honesty, Shen Yuan can remember merely a handful of the wives and plot points. Ah, this is what happens when you actually get a life, interesting! Clap it up!

The most Shen Yuan remembers is the stallion novel character, Luo Binghe. His favorite, and - he really can’t stress this enough - an absolutely wasted potential of a character. Shen Yuan may be an older and wiser man who doesn't waste constant time on the internet like before, but that only means he actually has a degree to be critic. Serves all of those self-righteous, questioning commenters right from all those years ago! Look at him now!

Importantly however, Shen Yuan also remembers just how badly he wanted to coddle the protagonist, blackening or not, pre-abyss, post-abyss, even as a demonic tyrannic emperor! Can you believe that none of Luo Binghe's wives wanted to squeeze his cheeks and kiss his forehead!? Master Airplane, throw in some fluff, will you? Spare the poor boy from all of these succubi (metaphorically and literally) and let him take a nap! Ahhh, who really cares if Luo Binghe has a kingdom he needs to take over? Throw a blanket on him! Cranky, old Mr. Shen knows the feeling of being terribly overworked, so imagine how the protagonist feels!? Shen Yuan nods his head approvingly at the thought.

All of those mistresses flocking over to Luo Binghe... If Shen Yuan were his guardian, he would kick them all out without a second thought in place of good family bonding time.

Women, power, sex... really, what's needed is a loving father who'll coddle and take care of Binghe when no one else can!

So, Shen Yuan guesses he shouldn't be surprised when he wakes up in the body of Tianlang-jun.

[dovewingkinnie]

when the tadc au is so good u wanna turn it into an oc story the only reason its an au is because it still takes the basic premise of "transported to a digital circus and tormented by the AI" but lorddd the au version of these characters.... especially ragatha and jax....

[randomfoggytiger]

Dear Tiger, I have always recommended your blog to many people who are interested in the X-Files. My recommendation goes something like this: “Brilliant analysis, well-founded opinions, without unnecessary judgments about the actors' private lives. But beware! The blog is very fond of David and can't be impartial. It's not hostile, but, even unconsciously, it minimizes Scully's importance and Gillian's talent, to the detriment of Mulder and Duchovny. Imagine the blog as if it were a proud mother talking about a beloved child, extolling (and greatly exaggerating) their qualities, and ignoring their flaws. In conclusion, if you allow for this fierce protection of David, it's one of the best - if not the best - blog about the X-Files.” When I read his analysis of the questions posed by Anon, I couldn't help but smile and remember this recommendation of mine. Duchovny is lucky to have such loyal and positive fans, who get to see the best version of him, always. An excellent 2025 to you Tiger, I'll always keep coming back and recommending your blog.🥰🥰 PS: On this particular topic, I think about 85% of your analysis is correct - but there's about 15% that I disagree with, I think it's more of a speculation/interpretation favorable to Duchovny, than exactly the reality.

I was reading this feeling all fuzzy before I got to the "impossible to be impartial" bit. XDDDD

Ah, well. Do I come across as partial? o.o Hm, I can tone down my language in future if needed-- don't mean to come across as if I hero worship (or mentally coddle) DD. His personal life isn't intertwined with mine, for one; and he's also a man who behaved selfishly, made terrible mistakes, and didn't learn gratitude until AA. He's probably still selfish because all humans are; but he's also made personal changes, has grown a lot, and continues to prove-- via his work and actions and interests and mindset-- that he isn't regressing. I give him the charitability I hand to any other person I deem 'good' and 'doing their best'. Ultimately, I just get super happy for others who are trying and are succeeding or are on the path to their own version of success. :DDDDDD

I will say, you do raise a point I've been mulling over: I don't talk about Gillian as much as I do David solely because I haven't found a blog that gives me all her work/projects/interviews/etc. up front. Though I will stipulate that I don't see the sense in taking his side over hers-- there aren't sides in their relationship to me. And I'm fond of her, too! :))))))) She did incredible work on The X-Files, and incredible work afterwards. And she powered through the 90s as a divorced, single mom with mental health struggles, which is worthy of an award. Again, I simply have less easy access to her work. I do heavily disagree that I minimize GA's importance and talent, unconsciously or not: she's part of a team; and she carried the show on her back in David's absence. That more than wins her a medal of honor. Moreover, Scully is irrefutably a woman so forward-moving and inspiring in her own right that the Scully Effect was created in her honor. (She also inspired me to take better care of my nails. Her manicures are spectacular.) You can't have the show without her.

Now that I've got my comments out of the way, thank you so, so much for dropping in to let me know your thoughts! Your words were (and are) so kind; and the knowledge that you spread my work to others, and that they might enjoy it, too, is... it's wonderful. And if you have to buffer my blog ahead of time however you need, go ahead. As long as others know what they're getting into, I suppose. XDDDD It really does mean the world. We all have days where we wonder if we're just shouting into a void; and some days the void is wider and darker than others. But knowing that you and others think my meta is worthwhile... it puts a lot into perspective. And being described how you've described me is.. thank you. So, you know what? I'll wear "loyal and positive fan" with pride, even if you punch on "Impartial"-- it's how you honestly see me; and I'm not at all offended about that. Now that I've thought about it, I'm downright amused.

Lastly, disagreement is always welcome! If you want to share, I'd be curious to know what the particulars are-- it keeps me on my toes by forcing me to double check my own opinions. >:DDDDD

I'll definitely be rereading this ask in future when the void gets bothersome. Thank you, thank you!

[anewp0tat0]

I've been thinking recently, so here's a headcanon:

when Ciel is in a moment of distress, near panic attack perhaps, if someone were to reach out and touch him so that Ciel could feel their skin, his distress would be amplified. however, he does not react that way in response to a gloved hand reaching out for him. in fact, it is almost soothing. afterall, the hand that has comforted him for the past almost 4 years has been gloved. so if he was ever conditioned to fear all touch, that behavior eventually went extinct.

[velvetjune]

I’ve gotten slightly more used to the controls of MetalGear Rising (+ Raiden being a cyborg) and now I’m having the time of my life. Built in cyborg sword heels is unbelievably cool

[coridallasmultipass]

Guys I missed the countdown by 7 minutes can we redo it?

[flash-from-the-past]

Cake Mania

[amplified-pain-culture-is]

my rheumatologist told me that her treatment plan will "cure" my AMPS, do you think that's true or BS lmfao (i definitely think the treatment could HELP but cure is a strong word,,?)

.

[seithr]

Another day i shall be spending the whole day Out and am thus unable to draw anything. if only you guys knew. I have so many thoughts. I can imagine anything 👉😎

[floralmemorials]

Black History Month - How erasing death erases history.

I thought for black history month I might present some of the black segregated cemeteries and why they are hard to find. This is 1440 Forest Ave. in Staten Island New York. This is where an estimated 1000 people of color have been buried. Only 50 of the actual graves have been recorded but none of the graves have been moved. Lot 384 is where the church and cemetery once existed. The church gone…

[salmoncakepls]

:0

[breadandblankets]

Honestly Barbara is lucky with how corrupt Gotham is, in no other city could they pull permits to do the huge electrical upgrades necessary to support Oracle to a building like the Clock Tower

[bmpmp3]

I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also given that the logic of said superiority authoriority is an entitlement to deny someone's personhood & use them as an object for your purposes, from obviously getting to direct what they must do & can't do, to enjoying whatever gratification from lashing out / demeaning which is also going to serve as an affirming exercise in authority when one can do that from an insulated elevated place....a crucial part of whatever form of this violence, from the most nanoscopic triangle in the sierpiński triangle pyramid scheme hierarchy, to the hypothetical largest (zoom in or out to whatever degree: the same shit also), being that indeed the superior parties need the deserved insulation from any Consequence to exerting their superior status, including indeed from having to witness the consequences For the "inferior" parties, such as whatever externalizations of suffering they recognize as such, which either (a) need to be put away (b) are manipulative performances or otherwise exaggerated (e.g. being a pussy / not even having the sense to realize how little suffering they're Really experiencing) or (c) can be fun to witness if you decide you enjoy that as an affirmation of power as per your ability to completely detach from any avoidance of causing pain, harming for its own sake, b/c you Can

all which is to frame how Interesting it is that after all those moments of going "well, they keep bothering with reaction shots of winston noticeably feeling hurt & expressing it, sometimes also verbally. it's like it could be setting up something" it set up Nothing; while once again just like has been done dozens of times a scene just Ends on winston being rejected &/or hurt, no resolution then, no resolution ever, and in the case of 7x03 was so significant an attack that just like in 4x11 when mafee gets to take out his own Loyalty Insecurity on winston while everyone else hangs around in tacit to overt approval, everyone just leaves the room & we get winston staying behind in the Most distant position aaand scene's over! thread's over! david levien get back here after you Liked that 4x12 livetweet of mine pointing out "so see & winston was right anyways??" like....that is: we are given the Perspective of someone who is also now Leaving winston behind, thus immune to the consequences of however that treatment could actually affect him or how he might struggle to deal with that now (who cares! the answer is: Alone) like Whatever, next time we see him he's completely fine now. and i'm just so happening to think that all the little moments of getting to see winston wither & withdraw & etc in reaction to being shitted on was also us being granted the perspective of Gratification that he's punished for speaking or existing or whatever, without it ever going anywhere or mattering beyond that instant. we too are the ones who surely get to relentlessly bully the autistic person & damn if we don't at least enjoy someone getting to go off the rails restoring their ego by doing absolutely whatever they want to him, which just so happens to be perfectly aligned with getting him Back In Line. pull yourself together winston! the only consequences you're experiencing we wanna deal with are the ones where you give us the algorithm we decided we want, actually. and now let's look across the rest of the season where the consequences for wags for being this way (or anyone else for standing by, ready to benefit, with philip bafflingly declaring as well how actually it was brutal in a good way) is approximately fuckall even as of course nobody's pretending he's one of the personal growth guys out here: rian is though, and didn't have to "grow" out of abusing winston or thinking that was fine & good or that of course she's inherently superior! and in the end we have more affection and interest for the Epic Asshole than their Cringe Targets

[puppy-the-mask]

Slamming my hands down on the table-

Ok so good news and bad news. Good news I have more writing. Bad news is its a crackship between Amp (Horrorfell!Cas) and Huntsman (lmk)... I call it ✨FeralFangs✨

Huntsman laid in wait deep in the dark forest, waiting for his prey to show itself and trigger one of his traps. Lo and behold the indicator strapped to his wrist vibrates and one of the dots on the map pulses that it’s been triggered.

With a silent grace and fervor only attainable through years of hunting in such terrain, he closes in on the clearing. He knows his charge could escape in a moments notice so time was of the essence and he had to forgo some of his stealth to make it in time.

As he approaches the trap he sees a figure caught by the leg in his snare, its signature jacket’s hood pulled up. With a feral grin he pounces- tackling them to the floor.

“Aha! Gotcha-!” He pulls their hood away to reveal a dummy and his eyes go wide. “What!? No!!”

He quickly stands and frantically surveys the area for any sign of where they’d gone while frustration boils inside him from getting played so easily

All of a sudden an instinct seizes his body, making him freeze as he feels a shudder down his spine. The shift in the air is tangible as predator becomes prey and he feels eyes bore into his neck.

In a rush of wind he’s pushed to the ground from behind and the breath is knocked out of him as he feels a weight settle on his back. A light puff of laughter rings in his head right beside his face as he flushes from both embarrassment and another emotion

“Hehehehehe, Gotcha~!” A soft raspy voice sing-songs in his ear. He feels speechless for a moment before regaining his composure and scoffing

“That was a cheap trick!” The giggles grow louder as the figure releases him and he turns around to scowl at the one who’d bested him

“It was an effective one.” Amp smugly replies, still sitting proudly on his legs.

The two stare at each other in silence, Huntsman’s embarrassed scowl deepening as Amp’s delighted grin grows. He just wanted to win their game one time!!! He was supposed to be the best hunter, it was in his name!

Suddenly he gets an idea, a smirk flashing across his face before he pounces- pushing Amp off of him and onto the grass behind her, but she wouldn’t go down without a fight and in a tangle of limbs the two wrestle in the grass. Shrieks and laughter followed the two as they struggled back and forth in the clearing, one pinning the other only to get thwarted and shoved away for the cycle to continue.

Finally the couple collapses onto the ground next to each other, staring up at the sky and breathing heavily. There was dirt on their clothes and leaves and twigs in their unkempt hair but the smiles on their faces made it all worth it.

Amp looks over at Huntsman’s face for a moment, admiring it. Then she flips over, crawling closer to rest her chin on his chest and look up at him.

“So…” She trails off, huntsman lifting his head closer. The air grows thick with a different kind of tension and she can feel his heart beating

faster under her head. The tension stalls as she suddenly breaks out into a sharp-toothed grin “you hide and I’ll seek?”

She laughed at Huntsman’s expression, getting up and running away as he chases after her

“So is that a no-?! Oop!” She calls over her shoulder- narrowly avoiding a shot of web.

Sure she could just kiss him, but a deal was a deal. They’d agreed that if he caught her, he’d get a kiss. And as she hears him grumbling and giving chase behind her she can’t help but laugh at the irony of his own bet keeping him from getting what he wants

After all, there were only two unwavering truths anyone who crosses her path knows to be true. That Amp always held to her bets, and that nobody has ever caught her

Luckily for him she’s already decided that she’ll cash in a few of the small favors she’s racked up playing these games with him on something the both of them can enjoy… or that she can tease him with. Maybe both, who knows!