#This story is gonna be a long time coming... I'm honestly ready to work on this for months into years LOL | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thewinchestah · 8 months ago

Text

"Chega de Saudade" - Alastor X Reader fic

Pairing: Alastor x Fem!Reader.

Summary: When Alastor breaks into the V's building seven years later he expects to find a lot of things, lot of obnoxious, enraging, tacky things. He did not expect to find you. The Radio Demon does not take betrayl lightly and you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to his worst enemy. Better yet, you have to live with the consequences of selling your soul to Vox and Alastor finding out. The soul you sold because Alastor left you for 7 years. Safe to say, it's a mess. A pretty, angsty, dark and delicious mess.

Warnings: Alastor is in Hell for a reason,general hellish violence,general hellish creepiness,eventual smut, i carioca coded valentino bc i can and bc he is very carioca sorry everyone,blackmail, Soul Selling, author is really invested in politics and decided to micromanage hazbin hotel canon, Corruption, Extortion, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, but nothing too explicit,mature themes in general, canon divergence, Not Canon Compliant, Eventual Smut, Alastor gets insane in this one you've been warned, fear play, Possessive Behavior, posessive sex, big bad radio demon is gonna fuck up the guy who stole his girl and will make it everyone's problem, Reader-Insert,no y/n,no beta we die like men here, i feel bad for tagging vox in this fic cause i think it's a disservice i really hate him and i make it clear so vox stans be warned, it's hell i hope y'all remeber ethics are fluid, posessive!Alastor, unhinged!Alastor, Isane!Alastor

Taglist: honestly only my queen @jyoongim i have no credibility to tag anyone anymore after being away for so long. If you wanna be tagged on future updates just let me know!

A/N:HI HEY BUNNY ANON IF YOU ARE STILL HERE THIS ONE FOR YOU!! Hiii everyone guess who's back. I had this fic cooking for a while now, actually i had a lot of writing cooking but in a very Ao3 author fashion a lot happened. You see i was on this writing streak and then my 15yo dog died while i was out of state. I had to go back on anti depressants and take a sabbatical. I got a new puppy and she's the light of my life. Got super sick, won a horse show. My first plan for this fic was having the first 3 chapters done and ready for debuting together because i always feel i'm lacking when i show up with only one chapter lol. After a while i realised i needed to get this first chapter out too see the light of day if i wanted to write again so here it is. This fic is a bit different from my other Alastor fics and i have a rough outline of 5 chapters so i think this beast will be more than 20k words long for sure. I decided to get a little deeper into Hell's politics and all the "no one ever thought of using heavenly weapons against hell even tough Hell's ancient and the best worst of humanity and demonkind is here". I call that bullshit sorry i'm brazilian i'm well versed in shady politicians and shady politics and unfortunatly, dear reader, you are in for this ride too. This fic kicks off right after "Stayed Gone". Also did i mention i'm brazilian and that my works are heavily inspired by brazilian media. This entire fic was inspired by one of my favourite songs of all time "Chega de saudade". And let's be real, Alastor and bossa nova are the perfect match. So yeah, english is not my first language and this isn't beta'd so sorry for any confusion or mistakes. Thank you so so much for reading my fics and always leaving the most kind beautiful and heartwarming feedback. I hope i can still deliver a nice story to my darling readers.

Click here for my other fics.

CHAPTER ONE: chega de saudade a realidade é que sem ela não pode ser.

In the first year you were calm and collected. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation to why he is gone. Is he even gone, gone? He’s coming home soon, you can feel it.

In the second year you convinced yourself there were signs everyone explaining why he was gone and when he was coming back, you were just too oblivious to them before. But everything can be a sign when you are delusional.

In the third year you cried so much you felt you were constantly drowning. You barely left home and some thought you were gone too. Gone to him.

In the fourth year you finally gave in and took the deal. Lack of self-preservation and machiavellian schemes working together to create a trap for him. He would come home out of anger, ire. But you can't outfox the fox.

In the fifth year you decided to scour hell and beyond after him. You went to places just to taunt him. Paranoia became your best friend, blood sweat and tears as you repeat “This time it will work, I'm sure of it”. Can a lie be said so many times it becomes the truth?

In the sixth year you accept defeat. You buried him deep and went about like he never existed in the first place. Isn’t it mystifying how this city screams his name?

It’s the seventh year now. The alarm on your phone rings and rings and you feel like scratching your face off. It’s time to meet your damned executioner.

Rolling out of bed you open the curtains to let some light in. The penthouse from the V’s building has a great view of Pentagram City, looking down you get the feeling of dystopian sci-fi that is so characteristic of the technology district. Limelights, digital outdoors, and big opulent, oppressing screens greet you like a constellation of dead stars, long distorted from their original purpose and form.

You follow processional routine as you get ready. Choose a beautiful dress, put on make-up, and do your hair. It all feels like preparation for a sacrifice. One thing you learned from Alastor is that appearances are the best strategy and you intend to greet your handmade battlefield like a roman legion.

Alastor. Even thinking of his name hurts, especially today when you need to face the consequences of your actions, the consequences of his actions. He is gone, he left you. And now Vox owns your soul. You blame your fall from grace entirely on him, he forced your hand, he made you do it. Out of desperation, out of defiance, you sold your soul to Vox so he would come back and save you, so he would come back out of hatred, anger and ire to tell how foolish you were, how betrayed he felt.

Betrayal. Selling your soul to his sworn arch enemy should be treason worthy of him dropping anything he was doing to come and punish you, to address you. You just wanted to get a reaction out of him, proof that he still cared. That he didn’t just get bored of the empire of terror he fought so hard to build in Hell. That he didn’t, deep down, just disregard you like a shiny novelty, to be left when it got old.

You dry the persistent tears that insist on falling with clinical coldness. You are past feeling sad now, you don’t even feel angry anymore. You are past any emotion really, you just want to get this over with and get back home.

You went about your deal with Vox in many different ways, sometimes you felt like it was a good alliance, a slap on Alastor’s face. A side quest to gather as much information from the V’s inner circle, a social experiment. The truth is, during these past almost four years you were a mental gymnastics pro to justify your new arrangements. The cognitive dissonance required to live with the decision of being forever tied to Vox was an herculean task and boy he didn’t make it any easier on you. He would never be as refined as Alastor when it came to torture but there’s something about the coldness and calculated reality of the television business that was it’s own type of Dante’s inferno.

As soon as he got word of Alastor’s disappearance the TV overlord was on your scent, and he wasn’t shy about it either. You dodged him and led him on for almost four full years before finally giving in, everything was more or less under control during the early years of Alastor’s disappearance.

Until you saw the angel army leaving.

Death and gore were all around you. The sky rained blood. You couldn’t breathe. You tried to take a step forward only to realize you were knee-deep in demon blood. Adam was particularly ruthless this time, he seemed to have realized the unbalance in Hell’s power structure with one of the most prolific demon overlord’s absence and took full advantage of it. You choked on the sulfur filled air while the portal closed and Adam threw a last middle finger at the Pride Ring. A clawed hand offered you support as you were about to fall, your heart skipped a beat, for a split second you felt elation. In that split second a thousand thoughts, four years of misery and confusion passed through your mind like a movie. You were sure this was Alastor, showing up after the unprecedented carnage of today’s reaping. With the next heartbeat came the delivery of the most cruel reminder: the hand reaching for you was Vox’s. Alastor doesn’t care about anything anymore, not even losing territory.

The TV overlord was covered in thick, red blood and looked vindicated, a wide chesire’s cat grin on his face. Baptized in carnage, Vox had finally triumphed for the V’s.The V’s were now a force to be reckoned with in Hell, there’s no argument to be made. A good chunk of Alastor’s territory was now under their control, and everything that came with it too. Including you.

“My darling doe, be careful, we can’t have you hurt after the battle is won can we?”

Darling doe.

You threw up at the casual cruelty of the name Alastor called you with such affection being desecrated by Vox. He still supported you as you spilled your guts, you’d blame it on the nerves, the adrenaline, the reeking smell of death. Not on the fact that you knew he finally won, that the thing that broke you was to hear your name like that, on your lover archenemy’s lips. After that it happened. You sold your soul to vox. Of course he coerced you into it, and you were so mad with grief and betrayal that you felt like betraying Alastor back was the just thing to do. Pettiness and paradoxical hope dripping from your lips as the whole thing was done.

Every year this same flashback assaulted your mind as you got ready to meet Vox on the anniversary of your deal. It never went past the look you gave those pixelated eyes as he held you on that barren land, stopping right there when you made the decision that finalized your ruin. You still wouldn’t, couldn't face what really went down when you formalized your deal with Vox. Those memories were suppressed and tucked in under layers and layers of regret and self-hatred.

You gave yourself a final look in the mirror. No makeup smudging this time, you were getting good at numbing your feelings. Just a few tears, no more sobbing.

The yearly meeting with the V’s after the extermination was the perfect cover actually, everything was done in a way that it seemed like you were all cooperating. After all, you did hold a very good knowledge of the inner workings of Alastor’s deals, subordinates and territory. You knew who the V’s could “call in favours” and how to keep the peace. Or as close to peace as peace came when an abrupt power transition happened in Hell. You were a valuable asset to anyone really. Articulated in politics, masterful at the art of persuasion, kind, soft, charismatic, assertive, all in perfect balance, and frankly, breathtakingly beautiful. It wasn’t without reason that Alastor fell for you and that you became his most trusted advisor. You and Rosie were able to conceal his absence and manage his affairs for good two years and the better part of the third without raising any suspicion. Of course, the bigger they are the harder they fall and now you were walking down the corridor of the V’s building carrying a bulk of important intel that would dictate the fate of the Overlord power structure for the next year, at least.

The hallways of the building changed a lot since you first walked them. As the V’s grew in power, the building grew in grandeur. It was now an imposing beast, looming over Pentagram City. Modern corporate architecture that incorporated the savage capitalism of Vox Tech. Savage, cold, sterile, overbearing that’s how being inside the lair of Hell’s most up and coming trio felt. The tall ceilings and big glass windows were exactly what you would expect of a broadcasting network and silicon valley Big Tech company combined. As an esteemed guest, you got the privilege of staying in the coveted penthouses, with someone to attend to your every wish and demand. You also got an idea that Vox went a little extra with your treatment as a form of flirtation, he has been trying to convince you into moving in for a while, every time you stayed in, your usual penthouse had some shiny new thing that was made just for you, as he repeatedly emphasized.

This year’s token of affection was a makeup mirror-gadget-thingy, that looked out of a Totally Spies episode. You had to admit to yourself that this was way more thoughtful and useful than the gifts from the previous years. The thing was cute, practical and would come in handy, which was a big improvement. Vox had tried to sway you with all types of guns and high tech devices in vain. Well, there was also that embarrassing stance with the wire flowers with a hidden recording device. Needless to say that after that entire debacle Vox learned that he may own your soul but you weren’t a damsel in distress and you would reinforce your side of the bargain if he went too far.

You reached the elevator and went in, pushing the button for your destination.

The earlier you start this the earlier it is over, you remind yourself.

The panoramic elevator descended to the well guarded conference room, the guards didn’t bat an eye to you entering. You realized you were becoming a familiar face around here, that made you dread what’s ahead of you even more.

“There she is! Hello princesa, I missed that pretty face!” Valentino greets you. He’s the only one inside, sitting on the edge of the table. Well, that’s unusual… you think. Vox was always the first to get to the post-extermination meetings, plus he always gave you a slightly early timetable so he could have some alone time with you. Something must be going on.

“Hey Valentino, it’s nice to see you too! What gossip do you have for me today?” you give your best chirpy tone to the love moth. Look, you know how bad Valentino is, he is despicable really, even to your standards. But ethics are fluid, to say the least, in Hell. The acclaimed porn king was surprisingly engaging to talk to. He was fun and actually treated you like a person, which was paradoxical in itself, considering how infamous he is for exploiting and commodifying souls. You drove yourself mad with theories of possible agendas behind Valentino’s kindness towards you, but it was the simplest of answers really, for some reason Valentino liked you and he never denied himself of what he liked.

“You have no idea! We have a lot to catch up on, did I tell you about that bitch who was trying to spy on us?” a set arms gestures to you to sit down next to him. The next 10 minutes are spent talking frivolities with the moth. You’re not complaining, it's nice to get your mind off this dreadful day and you don’t get many.

Valentino, as always, has a lot to say, little goes on in Hell without him knowing who, what, where and why. Information, gossip, rumors, facts, if a single out of context word can be weaponized you better be aware that he knows. Pentagram city can be divided into districts and ruled by lots of different overlords, still, Valentino’s intricate web of influence and coercion stretches across all territories. Another poor soul manifests here and goes somewhere they should not be, talk to someone they should not talk to, discover something they should never know. All cases of “wrong place at the wrong time” are happily solved by a large sum of money from the moth and suddenly another thread is weaved into his web of knowledge, another secret made his. Valentino doesn’t operate like most Overlords and that’s where his power lies. He bribed and fucked his way into every major circle, every overlord’s inner circle, Hell’s best kept secret. If you were anyone in the hellish afterlife Valentino either fucked you or fucked someone very close to you.

Knowledge is power, and Hell’s gossip girl was proof of it.

You swallowed a lump you didn’t know existed, hearing the moth talk about how things changed in a matter of hours during the early post-war made you even more aware of the severity of the intel you were carrying. It was earth shattering (no pun intended) information.

Angels can be hurt. Angels can be killed. That meant a completely different way of existing in the afterlife, if this information goes public, the consequences are unpredictable and dire.

You don’t feel excitement knowing you technically can fight back, you feel pure dread.

To be completely honest, you feel like these “news” are not really news. You were pretty acquainted with politics back on Earth and this whole “omg no one knew about this! even though this was staring us right on your faces! is total bullshit. Hell is ancient, the exterminations are not a new thing, and there are some pretty smart people down here. To think that millenia after millenia masters of torture and skilled killers never thought of using heaven’s own firepower against them is wishful thinking at best. Sure, maybe after a few generations most sinners, even those who have power, may have been kept out of the loop about the chick in the holy army’s armor… but not knowing this at all just feels like a pretty convenient case of collective amnesia.

Convenient, that’s exactly what this is. It’s brutal, but that’s Hell. A scheduled massacre is a blessing to those who rule to maintain, reinforce and extend their power. And if you get lucky enough, empires will fall and you will make your move.

Vini Vidi Vici, that’s all you need to know about how Hell's politics work.

It’s true that with every massacre the Angel Army gets more and more brutal and unhinged. What was once justified as righteous mercy killings to stabilize the ever growing hellish population now is just a display of cruelty, these angels kill for sport. There have been rumors floating around of how the disproportional annihilation tactics are preparation for something bigger for a while now , and with the demonic royal families either operating totally off Pride Ring or being completely MIA, it is no wonder those influential enough are starting to get restless.

And that ties back to your first point, the thing that got you picking the skin around your nails while Valentino gossips. There’s a reason why this is being revealed now, you know how creating a narrative works, a few smart words and ideas become beasts of its own. A beast of its own that will tear anything on its way with the right fuel. The V’s have fuel to spare. Whose interest is that this information stayed hidden? Whose interest is that this information was allowed to be shared now?

Hell is constructed by layers and layers of complicated militias and parallel governance, each one a locked room of secrecy that is impossible to enter without a huge amount of connections and power.

“In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king. And, honey, you should see me in a crown” Valentino wisely said to you once. He’s a man of many many keys, and right now you are holding the fucking master key under your arm.

Speaking of Valentino, he notices that you dozed off and snaps his fingers, grounding you back to reality.

“My, my. You must have extremely sensitive information today to keep you from hearing the nastiest, hottest gossip of the moment babe” He takes a hit from his cigarette, an elegant and sensual move straight from an Old Hollywood film. The heart shaped smoke rings caress your face and for an instant you feel hypnotized, nodding your head profusely.

“But I already knew that” behind the rose coloured shades, you see a playful wink from his infamous red hot eyes.

The porn overlord quickly snaps his head towards the huge automatic doors, that open and reveal Vox and Velvette walking side by side exchanging looks between them that scream conspiracy.

“Sorry about the wait, my darling” Vox purrs on your way, stopping behind your chair and placing his hands on top of it, fingers dangerously close to your neck and shoulder. He pushes your hair to the side and lingers there, on your neck. “but as they say ain’t no rest for the wicked, am I right?” Velvette takes her seat beside Vox’s empty chair, meticulously placed in front of you, polite pleasantries leaving her mouth. She’s still a mystery, you never know her true stance on you, she keeps you on your toes. Does she like you? Does she hate you? Does she even care?

“If you say so, boss!” you give him your best pageant smile. “So, who’s climbing up the ladder of the food chain today?” You bat your eyelashes at him. Your performance begins.

“Aw baby, you know I love when you call me boss! keep talking dirty to me” Vox lands a wet kiss on your cheek and makes his way to his chair.

Right in front of you, so he’s always staring at you, drinking in your every move. You cannot fail, you cannot falter.

As much as you’ve gotten used to pretending, pretending you like the V’s, pretending you don’t feel disgusting inside for being here, pretending you don’t hate Alastor for putting you in this situation with a burning passion but still missing him so much you feel someday your heart will stop beating in protest to him absence, it’s still hard. Especially when Vox touches you. Your eyes focus on cybersharks swimming behind Vox’s seat and concentrate on keeping your awarding winning poker face.

“This year looks really promising I will tell you that! The orders for both your weapons and tragedy porn cameras doubled since the last extermination! I will give credit where credit is due, that fuckboy Adam knows how to put on a show!” he snaps his fingers graphs, stats and footage appears on the various screens. But it’s all irrelevant, it won’t matter when you spill your secret.

“Lot’s of veeeery interesting happenings but I thought this year we might… start differently. Let’s forget the profit talk for now, change things a little. Did you guys see anything out of the ordinary? Did something stand out?!” he spins around his Big Boss ™ chair and stops with his hand under his chin, leaning in to you like a schoolgirl with the hottest new gossip.

“Oh! I heard things -” Val also leans in getting closer to the TV overlord face.

Vox’s grin shrinks, lifting a finger in protest

“We know, we know, you always hear things Val” he replies in a monotone tone

Velvette, who spent this entire time typing away on her phone, interjects

“Look, don’t take this the wrong way girlypop” finally looking at you she asks, or rather, states the million dollar question “ but what Vox means is that we know you have something big cooking inside those files, so let’s drop the bullshit and go straight to it”

The doll puts her phone down, she knows how important this is, how this secret will probably dictate how things will go from now on. You can call Velvette many things, but she is clever and under all that attitude and posh accent lies a brilliant strategist.

“Plus, we all know you are contractually obligated to tell anyway, so spill, and can make this quick and painless to everyone involved”

Right, your cartesian, empirical proof that angels can be killed. Caught on the scene of the crime with the gun in your hands.

You don’t waste anymore time, the words leave your lips like you’re choking with the threat they present. You tell them everything: where the exorcist was killed, how he was killed, the golden ichor blood that oozed from the wound, where the body was hidden. Everyone is silent while you speak, even the mechanical sharks seem to have stopped swimming to listen.

After that you don’t remember much more of the meeting, it felt like you took the backseat of your own mind, the overwhelming feeling of dread making you so out of breath. Something is coming, something fucking coming and you can’t breathe. Anxiety sets under your skin like a second skeleton begging to crawl its way out and you find yourself sitting in one of the lavish anterooms of the V’s building.

“So, the cat’s out of the bag then” you recall hearing Vox saying when, as if on cue, a few moments before the meeting was being declared over, the emergency broadcast about the reduction of the extermination date from a year to six months was issued. You four watch the transmission and you wonder if that’s what it feels like to get the news of the end of the Cold War, the doomsday clock finally hits midnight and we are nuking each other out.

Mutual destruction assured.

Your mind wanders back to your life on earth, if life up there is better or worse these days. You died so young, everybody told you, your Untimely Demise a big topic of conversation that you yourself didn’t know much about. But nothing, nothing in all of your living years and your years from Hell to eternity could prepare you for what comes next.

“So the Radio Demon is back in town! Why is he hanging around? What does it mean for your family?”

The news hit your ears like a tsunami and you feel dizzy. It’s easy to find a big screen here and you are running to the closest one before your brain can even compute the words.

Alastor is back, Alastor is back, and he didn’t come find you.

The next sound wave is even worse, dragging you ashore to your feelings without any reprieve.

“Salutations!

Good to be back on the air! Yes, I know it's been a while, since someone with style treated hell to a broadcast

Sinners, rejoice!”

This isn’t a prank, there are no cameras and a sadistic tv host waiting for your humiliating reaction, instead all pairs of eyes in Hell are glued to the screen watching as the two Overlords fight it out.

Thus, no one notices how your entire body shakes and your vision goes black. It’s too much, and you grip the rails from the stairs that lead to the foyer for dear life. Your heart is beating out of your chest. No one notices how you cry, how you whimper Alastor’s name like a prayer, how the tears run down your face and you feel paralyzed. You want to run, a million thoughts per heartbeat making your head swim. The best you can do is collapse on the floor. So you do, you collapse trying to catch your breath as you plan your sweet escape, how you are going to Houdini yourself out of this situation right to his arms.

“Tune on in

when I'm done, your status quo will know its race is run”

You want to kiss him, you want to slap him, you want to tell him how much you missed him, you much your fucking hate him. You want him to drag you to his rooms and make you pay for cursing him out. You want him, you want your Alastor back. You cannot breathe.

“Oh, this will be fun.”

and then all the lights go out.

There’s a beginning of an uproar happening, the electric building dies a quick and unforgiving death, demons run around and Vox is flying down the stairs trying to do damage control. But even he is failing to keep his composure, because he knows. Oh how you know too.

Alastor is like a natural disaster, a shattering force that bends everything on its way with the sheer force of will. The inevitable reckoning that comes to your town, that judges and executes everyone that you love.

And now he is here.

You see the burning red hot pair of eyes first, their predatory gaze hold the entire room hostage, looking for his prey and then they land on you.

The piercing intensity of Alastor’s eyes, the flickering reds of damnation itself, regard you with surprise, elation and something more. So overbearing those eyes are, they make you shiver, bearing the weight of his gaze that penetrates deep into your soul. Your soul that is not yours anymore, it belongs to the man he hates, the man he despises.

The Radio Demon’s towering frame closes the distance between you two in five long strides, you do your best to keep yourself upright and not cower at the sight of him. He looks like Rapture and righteous torture, coming to deliver your setance. Vox knows his sentence is being delivered here and now too, so he runs, runs to you. You feel static and an electrifying pull, metal clinking. A chain. A glowing blue chain on your neck and Vox’s pulling it tight.

“What? what the fuck is going on? what’s this?” snapping your neck quickly towards Vox you whimper, you beg. The few seconds you stopped looking into Alastor’s eyes causing seething rage inside the deer demon, ire that makes the room tremble.

‘“Talk over the radio, that way everyone can hear, baby” Vox says straight at Alastor, like it is a shooting gun. The look on the TV Overlord is maniac, a sideway cocky smile that drips pettiness. Just because Vox clearly lost this battle, with all tvs and electricity on petagram city going dark, it doesn’t mean he can’t still forever tarnish this victory.

Alastor’s demonform covers the already dark building in opaque, thick shadows, radio static picks up around the room like a tornado chocking the majority of the unfortunate demons that are still inside, in a desperate attempt to seek shelter.

No words leave the radio host’s lips as he grows even taller, breaking the posh entrance of the building, debris flying down causing even more damage, the tall glass windows shatter in a million pieces courtesy of his tentacles tearing down everything on their way. The sounds of destruction and despair are loud but you haven’t been listening to the world outside you and your returned lover’s radio dial eye’s for a while. A doe caught in the headlight of his eyes the best you can do in brace for the inevitable impact that is coming your way.

In a flash of his scarlet eyes a fire ignites, the flames born from it are unnatural, behaving like a hive mind to kill and destroy.

You always knew that facing Alastor after these 7 years would not be easy, but you never imagine your reunion like this, in the midst of pomppeian fire, a wild raw power, the oncoming storm that is Alastor when he attacks.

Vox knows this fight is over, his ego hurt and today’s accounts always written as a victorious comeback from the Radio Demon, nevertheless, between the three of you Vox will always know who really won, who drew the last card, had the last laugh. He did, holding Alastor’s girl on a leash because he owns her. The soul of the woman the Radio Demon dared to love is his, the man Alastor despises with a burning passion, and that’s enough for now.

The raging flames circle the three of you and without much more flair Vox drops his act, your chain disappearing from your neck. You drop to the floor, branching yourself on all fours. You consider crawling your way to Alastor, so you can explain, so you can cry, so you can beg. You don’t know for what exactly you will be begging for: your life? his forgiveness? his punishment? you just know a lot of begging and pleading will be involved.

But the decision is made for you.

“Run, run my little darling doe” Vox commands “Run and do whatever you need to do”

You get up on your feet in a completely ungracious move and Alastor’s out of the room instantly. The flames never touch you on the way out, the outside world greets you: a cacophony of screams, sirens, burning sounds, the infernal orchestra that becomes the soundtrack of your life.

“Oh, and by the way” Vox screams from the threshold of the decaying building “we just got news that your place on Cannibal Town got trashed by some wayward sinners during extermination. But don’t worry you can always come home here, come home to me!”

You do your best to ignore his taunting, and you pray to whoever is listening that Alastor didn’t hear it. But it’s futile, the pavement where he is stepping cracks a dark cloud of static and shadows trail after him. He definitely heard and felt the implications of these words.

“Al.. Al!” you scream running after your lover.

Fuck, you’re still in heels, and those aren’t your running heels.

Kicking the damned shoes off you run faster, you cry harder and plead faster.

When you lived, your life always felt a bit surreal, weird stuff happened to you that you couldn’t really explain. People always joked that screenwriters of your life were the most creative people alive, the thing that happened to you never happened to anyone else. You died young, with a big, full life ahead of you, but you took this as gospel to your afterlife, after all everything related to your death was a mystery to you. But the things that happened to you living or dead were a raw reality impossible to make up.

The uncertainty of your death only fuels your resolve to fight for the life you found in the afterworld.

“Al, wait!” you are starting to get truly desperate, you need to get to him otherwise you are pretty certain you will drop dead here and now.

“Alastor please, please listen to me” your voice failing, you finally choking from the smoke, from the suppressed tears. If Alastor doesn’t hear you now you are not sure you can carry on after him, you’re too tired too scared. You him to save you like the damsel in distress you are right now so bad.

Alastor dramatically comes to a halt.

“I. am. Not. Having. This. Conversation. Here.” his voice is staggered, still. Filled with static and a murderous edge to it. His long arms catch your wrist and pull you close, flush against his chest, you almost stumble but a powerful arm around your waist locks you tight to him.

It’s the first touch in seven years, your legs shake at the realization that he’s real, he’s here. You lock your arms around his neck, the familiar fabric of his overcoat, the soft strands of his hair, they all feel like coming home.

Something inside Alastor snaps when he remembers, when he feels how small you are in comparison to him, only one arm securing you safely to him. Some paradoxical fight starts inside him, wild wild want, wild wild rage against tameness, the docile calm you bring whenever you are at his side.

The world disappears for a few seconds as darkness engulfs both of you, inside the black moving vacuum only the two of you exist, greeting each other in bloody homecoming.

Alastor takes you back to the Hotel, landing with a low thump inside his room. For a second his hand supports the small of your back, preventing you from falling forward. After all it’s been 7 years since you shadowtravelled with him, he knows you are terribly out of practice.

His consideration towards you only lasts this precious second thought, because he makes his way across the room, creating as much distance as he can between the two of you. Your touch disarms him, he is aware of that since the first time your hand brushed against his, the first time his lips ghosted on top of your knuckles. If Alastor is touching you he is extremely likely to get soft, to remember how much you mean to him, what you do to him, so he will be merciful. And right now the last thing the deer demon wants is to be disarmed, to show you mercy. He can feel your betrayal burning inside his veins, clouding his judgment with ire and jealousy.

Alastor doesn’t fight those feelings, on the contrary, he lets them take him by storm adding fuel to his already bad temper. That’s the only way he can face you now, that’s the only way he can make you understand.

You don’t get any time to gather your bearings, from the corner of your eye you notice a forest. His room is bigger on the inside and has a fucking conservation area but that’s hardly the most pressing matter at the moment. The pressing matter at the moment is that you are getting whiplash from touching your demon lover for the first time in seven years and his subsequent refusal to touch you, stationing himself across the room to you.

Why isn’t he with you? by your side as you ride the shockwaves of today together? You are scared, but above all you feel overwhelming sadness.

“How did it happen?” he finally snaps, breaking the deafening silence. It’s the first time Alastor regards you, directly, in 7 years and the weight his words bare is so heavy you wish for more of the silence. “Tell me, how did it happen?” his eyes are wild, dangerously close to radio dials.

“How did it happen? You tell me Alastor! You left me, you fucking left me!” you wish you could be your usually articulated self, you rehearsed this conversation so many times in your mind and in none of them you started with such venom on your lips. But it has been too long, and maybe the poison from all those years alone and afraid beside Vox drips through.

The Radio Demon sees the tears that fall profusely from your big doe eyes, and they sting more than an acclaimed torturer like him could have anticipated. Alastor finds himself still disarmed, because with every single glistening tear that falls he can see how hurt, how scared you are. He is the only one allowed to make you scared, he owns your fear.

But that’s the problem isn’t it? He owns nothing. Vox does. And that realization turns him back to feeling seething rage.

“So my mere absence is enough to change your devotion? Is me being here the only thing that stopped you from falling into his arms?” more poison. By the end of the night you both will choke on it.

“Al.. Al” you are sobbing now, your throat tightens and it’s hard to breath it’s hard to speak. “ I had to do it. You don’t get it, you don’t get it.” your voice breaks “hemademedoit, hemademedoit!!”. You swallow half the words, whimpering, as if you say it fast enough the action will quickly become the past, as if the memories won’t haunt you. And yet the memories flood your mind

A dim-lit room, the smell of blood and something burning.

“He is gone baby, and he isn’t coming back”

Electricity makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

A stranger’s hand pushes the hair to the side of your face, dread creeps up inside of you.

“This is the only way my dear, the best decision you can make”

The same stranger’s hand grab you by the waist

“I’m the only one who can protect you now, you know that right?”

eyes that make you freeze, it’s hard to think. eyes that make it hard to say no.

“If this is hard for you, you can pretend that I’m him”

a wrong type of static pricks your lips

“This won’t hurt”

a shockwave hits your body and it feels like you are being split open

You have to steady yourself on the closest piece of furniture. You cower as the repressed memories from the night you finally gave in to Vox assault your mind, trying to make yourself as small as possible, like he is coming back to do it all again. Cries and incoherent words leave your lips and you don’t know if you actually said what happened or if this entire time you have just been crying. You entire body hurts as you hyperventilate “Al, I’m so sorry” you whisper

That’s what undoes Alastor, you curling yourself in a ball, defeated and scared at the ghost of the man he hates. You looking away from him like you are undeserving of him, of his punishment, of his love. Like you are tainted. Alastor can’t make the exact words of your confession about how it happened, but he heard enough. Vox would never make you come to him willingly, Alastor knows that. Whatever Vox did - and Alastor has a lot of ideas of what he did - he will pay double for it.

Alastor’s blackened heart shatters when he calls your name and you don’t look up to meet his eyes, like you always do. He was always your lantern for when you were drowning. He meant to break you, hurt you like that. He just wanted to make you come to him, beg for his forgiveness, beg him to soothe the pain.

“Mon coeur, my sweet darling doe you are safe” Alastor voice goes so soft it hurts “Don’t fret, it’s in the past, it’s over, you are safe with me now as you are meant to be” he coos.

Still, you can’t read your lover’s mind. So you don’t know his heart is shattered, you don’t know how much he loathes himself for letting this get this far. You are so caught up on your own feelings, reeling the rage and the memories that you miss the softness of his voice and his outstretched hard and you inevitably choke on the poison.

“No. No!” you snap “You don’t get to say that. You have no right to say that!” you scream as you get up “I’m not safe, I will never be safe because you weren’t there to protect me, you promised Alastor, you fucking promised” the poison is now inside you, heartstopping waves of hurt consume your body and sprit. Right now the same burning passion that makes you heart beat for Alastor makes you hate him too. You were never good with ugly feelings, you always pride yourself for being soft to be strong. Your kindness and act of rebellion during the hellish reality you lived. You were never good with bad feelings, so you do something you never thought you’d do.

You shove the Radio Demon, that man you love so much it drives you to insanity. You shove him because the shame is too much, all the ugly feelings ball up inside, convincing you that you don’t deserve him, that you already lost him. And you won’t survive his dismissal.

You never talked back to him, you never raised your voice. Not because you were afraid to, but because you never had to, hence the reason why Alastor is so taken aback that your pitiful attempt of violence actually moves him from where he was standing.

Alastor shoves you back, pushing you up against the wall with a searing kiss. He kisses you like you are his last chance at salvation, like he wants to be redeemed. He licks your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, pushing his hips hard against your core, making you straddle him. Alastor doesn’t grant you a moment of reprieve, his lips come crashing down on yours again, his tongue inside your mouth dancing to a madman’s tune. He does what he does best, he takes and takes and takes. He takes your breath away, he takes all the callous words that threaten to leave your lips, aimed at him.

You succumb to your demon lover, your nails dig into his skin and he moans inside your mouth, he bites your lips enough to draw blood. In the end Alastor is still Alastor, and of course he gets all hot and bothered when fighting. You feel delirious with the taste of his lips, your blood and your salty tears mixing together, an unholy ambrosia. His hardness press just the right way to make you sing creating a current of desire after a seven year long drought.

His hands are quick, ridding up your shirt making he grab your ass and then your hips, strong enough to bruise. His clawed finger is already tweaking your nipple that way he knows you love. Your bravado melts, in perfect synchrony to when he sinks his teeth deep into your neck, drinking everything: that wretched poison that tarnished your words, the sacred warmth of your blood. You moan his name like a prayer that he promptly answers, he’s kissing you like a drowning man again, your blood on his lips painting your lips red like you both just drank from the holy grail, his hand cups your other breast and you vow to never speak to him like that again, only if it’s gonna get you up against the wall like that with him.

And then he stops.

“I hope this kiss haunts you” he says, voice still drunk with desire, low and threatening. He swiftly moves you off him, walking away and creating the same distance from when this all started “haunts your every breath, finds its way inside your every waking moment until you are mad with regret”

You are bewildered, eyes widening in disbelief. What is he doing? How can he go from 0 to a 100 so fast?

“I hope this kiss haunts you, so you never forget that you were the only woman who ever had me at the palm of her hand and you decided to throw it all away with that calamitous cynicism of yours.”

So that’s what’s happening. You can never expect to beat a master at his own game, Alastor is still cruel when he is merciful. When push comes to shove he will always win. There’s only so far you can get with taunting his repentance, playing with his heart laid bare at your feet, filled with sorrow and begging for forgiveness. He was ready to apologize, to dry your tears and soothe your fears, worshiping your delicious body and the ground you walked on. He was ready to admit that this was half his fault until your venom stung him beyond the realm of spoken word.

“I understand it now, it must be hard for you to cope with your own decisions, your own failings, so you take it all on me. I hope you remember this when you come back to beg, on your knees for my forgiveness. And trust me, you will.” Of course Alastor would torture you with the knowlodge of his guilt and despair, the loss of his benevolence, the promise of desire and carnality. He will always be a torturer at heart, and you forgot that’s the first rule you need to always remember when dealing with him.

“You’ve got your demons darling” never was your precious pet name said with such disdain. Static starts to gather around you, and in a flash his hand is on your neck

“and they all, Look. Like. Me” his voice is distorted when he finishes cursing you, there’s a tempest behind his eyes that entraps you, the burning red of his irises condemn you.

The Radio demon is a raging fire, an oncoming storm. But he is also meticulous, cruel and calculating, if you dared to question him, to step on the grace he gladly gave you, you clearly were aware of everything he did to lull his absence. All the plans and contingencies he made to hush your worrying thoughts about him and bathe your threshing heart on tranquiline waters.

And you decided to mock it. To mock him and his love for you.

You are crying again, but this time Alastor is fucking glad he was the one to hurt you, to reduce you to a mess of regret and tears.

Tonight in Hell, power shifts from one Overlord to another. Sinners plan and freak out accordingly.

But their machinations are all meaningless.

The 7 years you spent away from Alastor made you sad, the three years spent on Vox’s side made you bitter. The V’s operate on poison, it’s their fuel. And maybe the poison drips through.

Tonight you drank the poison and it broke you.

Tonight, for the first time, the poison broke Alastor too.

#HEY BUNNY ANON THIS ONE IS FOR YOU I NEVER FORGET A REQUEST I TAKE 5 MONTHS BUT I DONT FORGET IT #alastor x reader #alastor x reader smut #alastor x you #alastor fanfic #hazbin hotel x reader #the radio demon x you #im insaneeeeeeeee #baixaria #im sorry everyone #alastor #the radio demon #hazbin hotel fic

198 notes · View notes

ladykailitha · 10 months ago

Text

Sweet Home Indiana Part 3

Shit! I can't believe I forgot to post this this morning! I don't know where my head was, honestly.

I'm reaching a point where I'm running out of plot so I don't think this story is going to be longer than 10 chapters max. A lot of the second half of the movie takes place over months as the main character gets ready to marry the rich bachelor, only for her to find out that her husband signed the divorce papers and she forgot ON HER WEDDING DAY (as in she was informed on her wedding day that she forgot). Which really won't work for this story.

So yeah, I suspect to be finished with this story sooner rather than later.

Eddie does have to do a lot of grovelling but he unfortunately gets worse before he gets better. He's really REALLY dumb in this, okay?

Part 1 Part 2

****

Eddie watched Steve walk away and he gently put the brownie back into the box.

Fuck.

His stomach churned as he swallowed down the bite in his mouth. He had forgotten so much about the man he once swore to love until the end of his days. But he remembered that look of absolute betrayal before the mask dropped.

So Eddie did what he was good at when times got tough, he ran. He was supposed to have been trying to convince Steve to come with him, but he had fucked it up so badly there was no coming back from that.

The worst part is that there had been a few times in the last decade where Eddie could have healed what was between them, that he could have reached out and gotten back in touch. But Eddie had ran each time.

He wouldn’t say each time ended in a rushed marriage, but two of them definitely did.

Eddie would think about reaching out only to hear about how well Steve was doing from Dustin or Max and how happy he was and Eddie would run out a marry the first guy who would fuck him.

The other times he would think about contacting Steve and some small trouble (or not so small in the case of his band breaking up) would crop up and he be scrambling to keep his head above water.

Steve was thriving here in Hawkins and wasn’t that just a kick to the head. He had a little bakery that was doing well, Robin was here, and if all the times the kids called Eddie were any indication, Steve was still on speaking terms with all of them.

He needed a fucking drink. He didn’t care that it was only a little after noon, he needed to turn off his brain. He turned on his heel and stormed out of the bakery.

“I thought I recognized the van,” a warm voice said. “Were you gonna tell me you were in town?”

Eddie looked around before he spotted his Uncle Wayne, leaning up against the side of the building.

“Wayne!” he cried and threw his arms around his neck.

Wayne hugged him back. “It’s good to see you kid.”

“Of course I was going to tell you I was in town,” Eddie scoffed. “I was just trying to take care of something first.”

Wayne looked behind him at the bakery and raised an eyebrow. “You coming back to make an honest man out him or are you setting to break his heart?”

“Why are you on his side?” Eddie whined. “Yes, I said some pretty stupid shit, but he wasn’t blameless in all the fuckery that went down.”

Wayne’s expression softened. “I know.” He put his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. “Come on, I’ll buy you lunch and we can talk about why you’re in town.”

“Mmk,” Eddie said weakly, letting Wayne lead him down the street to the nearby diner.

****

Steve was hyperventilating. He couldn’t do this. He wasn’t strong enough. Eddie Munson was the biggest asshole in the world and he still looked like sex on legs.

That funny little lopping walk he did when he wanted to move fast but didn’t want to run.

The long hair in waves around his face. His lean body stuffed into the tightest pair of jeans Steve had ever seen and he used to wear tight jeans for fuck’s sake. The god damn eyeliner on his big doe eyes.

And peaking out of the leather jacket were even more tattoos. Which it made sense considering he was some hot shot tattoo artist up in Seattle. But still! It wasn’t fair that the man who broke his heart wasn’t fat and balding at thirty. Nooooo...he had to come back to blue his balls as well as break his heart.

“Do I need to break his balls?” Robin asked coming back from the freezer. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared. Not at Steve specifically, but glared at the situation in general.

Steve gave a kind of hiccuping laugh and his lungs filled with the air he desperately needed.

“No,” he said with a broken smile. “I handled it. I’m just going to send it to Hal to make sure he’s not trying to take me to the cleaners or some other bullshit.”

Robin nodded. Hal Peterson was their business attorney, but he’d know enough to make sure Steve wasn’t being shafted by the whole ordeal.

“So what’s got you around the twist?” she asked.

“He looks hotter now than he did before he left,” Steve whined. “He’s supposed to balding and fat and falling apart at the seams. But no...he’s leaner, still with those long ridiculous curls, and better put together than I was.” He waved a hand at himself. His hair was greasy from standing around a hot oven, his hands and apron were covered in flour, he had frosting on his nose.

Robin came over and gave him a hug. He wrapped his arms around her and he let out a little sob.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” she murmured. “Are you going to be okay?”

He let out a shuddering sigh. “Probably not until he blows out of town again.”

Robin kissed the top of his head. “Let’s go out to the Hideout tonight. The shop will be fine. We handled today, we can handle tomorrow, too.”

Steve let out a shuddering sigh and nodded into her stomach.

“Good,” she stepped back and cupped his cheeks. “I know this sucks but you are the strongest, most capable person I’ve ever met. A weaker man would crumble under all this, but that person is not you. You understand me?”

He let out another shuddering sigh. “Thanks, Robs. I needed that.”

“I know you did, dingus,” she said fondly. “So lets knock today out of the ballpark, yeah?”

“Yeah!”

****

“I was hoping,” Eddie was telling Wayne, “that I could roll into town, get him to sign the divorce papers, and spend the rest of the week with you. But no, he’s being a stubborn ass.”

Wayne snorted. “You always did aim too high.”

“I thought he’d want to be rid of me,” Eddie huffed. “I’ve done nothing but run around all over this god forsaken country just to put some distance between me and him. I’ve hurt him in every possible way. I thought he was just wanting closure you know, calling me into town like he did.”

Wayne furrowed his brow. “He called you into to town?”

Eddie nodded and placed his chin on his hands on the table. “I was a bit of an ass about it because I didn’t explain things to Chrissy, but yeah. He told me that if I wanted to divorce him so bad, I’d have to come back to Hawkins and do the job proper.”

The waitress came set Wayne’s food down and Eddie sat up so she could do the same for him.

Wayne waited until she was gone before he turned back to Eddie. “When you told me you were marrying Chrissy, I was more than a little surprised.”

Eddie rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. “I know. I have my reasons, I just can’t tell you yet. But I promise it’s for a good reason.”

“He’s done really well for himself here,” Wayne said softly.

“And I haven’t?” Eddie spat out a tad too bitterly.

Wayne scowled. “Did I say you hadn’t, boy?” he snapped.

Eddie’s head reared back from the shock of his normally mild mannered uncle to snap at him. He shook his head, his lip beginning to quiver.

“I’m on your side,” Wayne said, to Eddie’s scoff. “I know I keep hyping up Steve, but I remember what you two were like when things were good, son. You were incandescent. But I look at you now and that sparkle has gone. I want to be happy for you, but first you’ve got to show me that you’re happy for yourself.”

“You don’t think I’m happy?” Eddie asked in confusion. “I have my own tattoo shop, I’m going to marry a great girl, and I’m still friends with most of the members of my band. What’s not to be happy about?”

Wayne shrugged. “You tell me.”

Eddie frowned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, old man.”

Wayne dug his thumbs into his belt and licked his top lip nice and slow. Eddie ignored him and just stabbed at his food.

“Kiddo,” Wayne said, shaking his head, “you’re still in love with that boy even with these ten years gone.” His chin jutted up to point to Eddie’s food.

Eddie froze with his fork half way to his mouth and then looked down at his plate. It took him a full minute to realize what Wayne was talking about.

“Oh.”

He had ordered the breakfast platter. It had hash browns, scrambled eggs, ham, bacon, and sausage with a side of chocolate chip pancakes. But Eddie didn’t like hash browns or sausage. He would give them to Steve who did.

He thought about the little box that was sat next to him on the bench and the brownie Steve had concocted for him so long ago.

Eddie swallowed thickly, his stomach turning sour as he stared at the hash browns and sausage he was never going to eat.

“Eat up,” Wayne said with a soft smile. “You don’t want it to go to waste.” He scooped up the hash browns and put them on his plate and then stabbed both sausage.

He dipped the first sausage into his over easy eggs, ignoring Eddie’s turmoil. At least for the moment.

Eddie brought the fork all the way to his mouth and chewed, not really tasting it.

He ate through most of the food that way, until it came to the pancakes. He moaned happily.

“Seattle just doesn’t make pancakes the way Benny does,” he said softly.

Wayne’s smile was no less tender this time, but infinitely more fond. “You could always come back to Hawkins. You can set up a tattoo shop anywhere, so why not here?”

Eddie shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that to Steve. Divorce his ass and then move back into town with Chrissy in tow, shoving it in his face that I moved on.”

“I can see that,” Wayne murmured. “I just miss my boy is all and would love to see you more often than I get.”

Eddie took his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I know you do. And I would like you to meet Chrissy before the wedding.”

“I’d like that too.”

****

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Tag List:

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

2- @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie

3- @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666

4- @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

5- @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690

6- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

7- @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

8- @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @blackpanzy

9- @amazing-spiderkeys @oldpinghai @raisedbylibrarians @kultiras @swimmingbirdrunningrock

10- @steddie-as-they-go @captain--low @micheledawn1975 @thespaceantwhowrites @mac-attack19

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #rom com au

133 notes · View notes

mewtwoandme · 1 year ago

Text

Alright, a bit of an update regarding the arc....unfortunately not a good update in my opinion.

I don't think I'm going to finish all of Blu's Arc in time for Christmas :(

I tried...I really did, I thought I could, but honestly, I should've known better. Getting 3 major parts completely finished and ready to post with less than a month left??? Yeah, I dont think that's happening. Plus, with it being the holidays, things have been busy IRL with family, work, and all that "fun" stuff. Perhaps I may have been a bit too ambitious. I haven't been getting my right sleep either for the last couple of weeks, so that's been interfering with my motivation and ability to draw during the only times I'm able. Now I know I've said many, many times that it's okay if Blu is late and doesn't actually arrive by real-time Christmas, that's still fine. If he's late, then he's late. If he comes in January or February, it won't matter. He'll still be a winter baby, at least, and his birthday will still be on Christmas in the story, so be it. But...this was more of a personal goal I wanted to set for myself, and I kinda feel a little disappointed in myself that I likely won't be able to meet it...

And let's be honest...I'm not the fastest artist XD I'm slow as hell when it comes to making comics. It's taken me weeks to a month to just get ONE out on a few occasions (usually, that was because they were very long, but still).

I'm saying all this now just so ya'll won't be disappointed later, most of you probably seen this coming anyway XD I think it's safe to say I wont be focusing on the Christmas deadline anymore, but I'm still gonna try to get the arc finished in a reasonable amount of time, without disregarding my health of course ^^

#mod announcement #mod speaks #update

309 notes · View notes

sweaterkittensahoy · 17 days ago

Text

y'all, if you want me to participate in a boycott, you have to tell me why. I should not have to google the name of the thing and the date to get an answer.

In case anyone else has seen things about "economic blackout on February 28 ", it's about protesting DEI rollbacks from large companies.

But I had to look it up. You can't run an effective boycott if people don't know why, and you shouldn't want to run a boycott where people can't easily answer why.

Also, the info I saw about it said "Starting with one day, maybe going up to three."

You don't get to be wishy-washy on the length of your short boycott. That's not how this works. Are you doing a 24-hour boycott or are you doing a 3-day boycott? Because it feels like you're trying to have a ready excuse if the numbers aren't as devastating as you would like them to be in 24 hours.

Also, frankly, setting it for February 28th when Valentine's Day is FRIDAY and a day that large retailers usually get slammed makes me feel there's no real backbone in play here.

Look, if you wanna participate, participate. Here's a Newsweek article explaining it.

Also, here's Newsweek explaining who The People's Union is because i sure as fuck didn't know, and frankly from the what the founder of the union focuses on on his own Union website, I do not find them serious in the least. It's all buzz words and sob story background with nothing in the article actually indicating what this group does to actually effect change.

If Newsweek has to run an article explaining who the group is who is trying to run a boycott, and that article doesn't actually explain what the group hopes to achieve by having the boycott, it's not a serious group.

"But, Gayle! They want DEI offices back!"

Okay. But do you really think PBS cut its DEI department because it wanted to or because if they don't, the government funding they get will get yanked? Do you really think Target, that loudly made a point to talk about how less rainbow their capitalism was gonna be before Pride last year, is just chomping at the bit to put their DEI office back into place, or do you think maybe they showed up which side they were on and now they have an easy excuse to drop it?

Do you think Google, who was literally head-hunting me for nearly a year, and then suddenly stopped talking to me just as they got sued by female employees for sexist work practices geniunely care about what DEI can do?

Do you think Amazon, who has cut me out of interview cycles TWICE because when they ask "How do you innovate every day?" and I go, "I don't. I think it's an odd standard to judge all possible employees by especially in my department, where the focus should be on being able to communicate complicated information to anyone in any place at any time, which can lead to innovation but should not be a high-ranked goal" gives a shit about DEI? The Amazon that demanded workers come back to the office back in September while announcing everyone had until January? Thus making it possible for them to have a "voluntary headcount reduction" instead of a layoff to deal with whatever shortcomings the balance sheet showed?

"But, Gayle, I care!"

Aim it somewhere useful. Do a personal boycott. Email all those big companies The People's Union think they can hit on the bottom line within maybe 72 hours and tell them what you generally spend at their company and that you are taking that money away. Because, honestly, an email campaign that is "Hey, I did the math, and last year, I spent $500 at your business, and this year, I'm spending $0." Get your friends into it. Do some community organizing around it. Rather than this empty threat of 24-72 hours, commit to a long-term refusal to work with these private companies who do not have to answer to the government for their funding.

At the end of the day, for me, it comes down to this: A maybe 3-day boycott by an unproven group calling itself a "Union" whose main talking points are "government bad" and "I've been meditating since I was six" (that's not a joke, that's in the article about who the fuck People's Union is) isn't going to do jack fuck all for any DEI program. Literally every business they want you to target can easily handle three days of no shoppers. They can probably handle three years of slow sales, frankly.

The reasons boycotts work when ACTUAL unions call for them is because companies know their average sales. So, if a REAL union says, "Please show your support for the union on February 28 by refusing to buy from our place of business," and that place of business sees a HUGE drop in sales on February 28, they can only assume it's because the union asked customers to show they stand with the union. (By the way, if you ever participate in a boycott like that, please also send an email to customer service that says "I will not be buying from you on February 28 because I stand with the union," but also please only do it if you actually go to that business in general; lots of people call things a boycott when they mean they just don't and never have shopped someplace.).

Those 24-72 hours the People's Union want you spend not shopping but maybe shopping if they feel really powerful after the first 24 hours, will be much better spent bothering your elected officials to make them refuse the anti-DEI executive order.

This is a bragging rights boycott. It will not harm the businesses in the least, but at the end of it, all the people who participated can smugly announce they didn't buy anything at the Target for a whole 3 days because they're so morally correct.

#the people's union #go fuck yourselves #boycott #economic blackout #before anyone goes well maybe you don't understand what they want #i live in pdx #trust me when i say i know a useless leftist org when i see one #i'm currently pissed off at several

23 notes · View notes

unknowns-musical · 22 days ago

Text

Okay! I need to make this post just for myself really but I need to type up how I imagine everyone gets on this this au I have going on. So, if you are curious or interested I get ready for a lot of text.

Freights

I'm gonna start off with Hermes because that's my oc I want to focus on. Though he identifies as a Freight since he hauls weight like the others, he's also a Coach. Turns out TPO (traveling post office) are a kind of Coach since they can carry people. So, his main parent is the OG Belle, with Break Van and Caboose being his older brothers (who are in the same boat of identification to him in my mind). Break Van being the most mature, and responsible of the group. CB is the one who will always support you, but he can be a bit... Intense at times. He also has two older sisters, Slick and Wembley Belle. Slick is more of a "sister" by how close she is to CB and BV in terms of interest, but still a sister since she pranks like one. Wembley Belle was adopted by OG Belle since she's the Sleeper with the most experience to raise another Sleeper. While Hermes is the baby of the group since Slick is just a bit younger than CB, and Belle is a bit older than he is.

On the side of the Freights and Steamers, it's not as complicated I would say. The McCoys (yes plural), are parental figures to him like how they are parents to every one in their yard. All the Freights being the older brothers and sisters to Hermes. The eldest two being Flattop and Dustin, both big hearts but the silliest guys you'll meet who will always make sure you're okay. Lumber is older than Porter by about a year or so, newer to the yard... He and Porter are definitely together. Porter has been here longer and kinda apprenticing under Dustin, really nice guy, bit of a flirt. Rusty is seen as the favourite since he's the only other Steamer here, but that puts more stress on him since he's the youngest engine around. Meaning he has to take on more responsibilities to look after everyone as the McCoys slow down to retire. Next up Hydra, the only thing I can say about them is their special interest is water and tries to drag anyone who'll listen to talk about or see whatever water based thing is on their mind.

Rockies and the Hip Hoppers aren't the same here. The Rockies are quadruplets, with one being the sister of the group. You will never find these four apart, always hanging out together, usually rough housing or spray painting any surface they find, including each other. While the Hip Hoppers I'm making triplets but girls, since we need more female Freights. The three of them if they aren't trying to start something with the Rockies, they are either break dancing non stop or trying to host a party without permission.

Coaches

The eldest of the Coaches are Og Belle, followed by Ashley and Carrie. OG Belle is the eldest and has most interactions with Ashley and Carrie since they've almost been around as long as she have. They know about her past life, they don't judge her for it they know she's a really sweetheart who always does what's best. The three of them are friends, hanging out as the "Wine Aunts", constantly gossiping, drinking and having a grand ol'time. They'll never talk about the whole history of their lives together, but people think they are a polygamous group of lesbians... Honestly, Ashley and Carrie don't help it by telling everyone conflicting stories.

Next up is Buffy and the eldest Dinah, Buffy was raised by Ashley and Carrie finding friends with og Dinah. These girls gained enough experience growing up that they own a dinar together that they run. Buffy being mainly in the back since she has no patience for the customers unless they get rowdy and lets her be a bit more... Aggressive. Dinah, Southern belle sweetheart who will always smile at you. Primarily works at the front taking orders, and is the main chef when it comes to dealing with food that needs changing in any way for dietary restrictions.

We have two other Dinahs, red Dinah and Wembley Dinah both working with their big sister. Red Dinah is the middle child of the group, she's a lot more flirtatious and friendly than her sisters and works mainly as a waitress. Knows how to set her boundaries clearly, putting her foot down for herself and others... Unless she's in love and all red flags are out of sight and mind. Wembley Dinah (Panto Dinah as I call her), loyal, the most colourful, sassy... And dramatic. If she isn't sassing, she is being dramatic about anything and everything. However, unlike her sisters she can at least recognise a red flag and is more cautious about going forward with the red flag.

Tassita is a trans woman to me. I didn't know the actor who played Tass was a guy until later on, so they are now a trans woman in my universe. Which they get to shush anyone - Diesels - who tries to ask about it, or be rude. She shuts them down before they can get anywhere and they're the ones who end up mad not her. Wembley Belle is best friends with Tass, which is honestly a good pairing. Tass can look after Belle whenever she falls asleep and keeps anyone from waking them up. I would not be surprised if these two got together or are already together and haven't told anyone.

Pearl is the youngest, she has been taken in by Ashley and Buffy which is honestly a good thing. Those two have plenty of experience to share with her so Pearl can actually learn what to do and how things work in this world. While Buffy being the older protective sister just seems fitting to me.

I know I haven't talked about Belle the Bar car, Duvay or the two extra Sleeper cars but I need to do more research on them before I can talk about them.

Diesels

Starting off with the Greaseballs, we have the Og, middle and fem. Og Greaseball came from the South like Dinah, but not from the same place. Before he became a racer he mainly worked on engines because it's something he liked to do. He liked to tinker with them, understanding how they worked and how he could improve them. It was probably the only way he could learn, eventually leading to him messing with his own engine that allowed him to become a racer. Becoming famous enough he made friends with Tank, Lube and Gear (I can't really talk about them either, I need to research them more). That eventually lead him to meeting OG Dinah. She fell first, he fell harder... He was not the best to her but once the crash happened and he met the Starlight, he became a himbo... No I won't explain how that works.

Though upon treating Dinah like the queen she should be treated as, the Starlight tested his patience by giving him two younger siblings. The middle GB isn't as muscular as his brother or sister, but he has the best looks (at least in his own opinion). The biggest inflated ego around, constantly flaunting himself off. This behaviour though really bothers Fem GB, enough to the point they bicker until they fight... Which he will lose to her if it gets to that point, or until OG GB pulls them apart. Fem GB on the other hand is a big gym rat, always working out... And getting into scraps with her Diesel or anyone who makes her mad. These two will always make their big bro hate that he used to act like them both.

Wembley Diesels... Oh boy they are definitely something. Golden Eagle is seen as the leader of the group, despite that he's always peacocking around trying to start a fight with anyone who looks at him the wrong way. On a good day though, this femboy in his free time likes to learn how to dance, it's just fun to him. Never let him try to teach you unless you want to be yelled at or shown up. Silver Bullet is the actual leader, they're more quiet and reserved but knows when to step in to keep the group in line. It makes the others call her Sheriff just because every time she steps in it's the most dramatic time. Green Arrow is the biggest bully of the group, trying to fight everyone just because he wants to be respected and he loves to tease anyone. Both he and Silver have a... Competitive nature together trying to figure out who is better.

Blue Lightning is the gamer of the group, she loves to just lay back and play any game she can get her hands on or connect to. Her competitive nature however even affects her game play. If she was to lose in any sense, she gets so upset that she ends up sparking with electricity that she overloads the game and crashing it. Finally Orange Flash, the baby of the five, never taken seriously and always yells for attention. If that doesn't work? Flash has modified their skates to release small fireworks on command to create a scene or entrance. Definitely eye catching... Definitely annoying to the others if a spark catches their clothes.

Electrics

Electra, every gender at once drag queen, fashion icon, rich kid... And secret gamer. They hate to go slow, take it easy they have to do something to keep them happy. Be that racing, adored in any sense, or trying out different games to see what is popular. Before they were a racer though, they did not like their family. All of them act and think similarly to Electra, which is why they expect to get everything they want. They just couldn't handle the easy back life style of the rest of them, it was just frustrating. Their family gave them their full support... Under the condition that if they ever loose or need their ego saved, they must return home to stay where it's safe. Yeah, they never went back and prefer the found family they have.

Purse was the first to be join Electra, being the one who basically grew up alongside them and tried to teach them how to use money wisely. Those lessons never stuck, so Purse was kinda forced to stay with them to make sure they never ran themselves into debt. Plus, they also knew what Electra's family was like and even they didn't want to go back to those. The stress it was for both of them to be perfect was enough of a reason to leave long before they did.

Bolt is next - from Starlight on Ice - not much is actually known about them, so I'm just guessing here. But, based on name alone Bolt is essentialy the battery truck to Electra, the same way Dustin, Porter, Lumber and Hyrda are to the Steamers. Non stop energy and friendly energy, who can run themselves ragged if they over does it or overheats. If they get to the point of passing out, they just have to drag then them to the nearest charging point to wake them up again.

Killerwatt and Krupp came as a pair, simply because Purse knew that they could protect themselves and Electra, but trying to deal with Bolt, and keeping them all alive they needed that extra help. Killerwatt is the main guard always on alert, and staying up late to work just because they have a bad feeling about something. Making him constantly tried, and a bit trigger happy with his tazers at time. Krupp is a bit more relaxed than Killerwatt, though not by much. He mainly just does what he's told in the exact order he was told to do it. Carrying supplies on his back he can't reach, but ones Killerwatt can reach to use instead. Sometimes the two look at Purse and wonder why they're staring at them so much.

Wrench was the next to join the group as the last to join Electra asked for, and again Purse knew the chaos that would come from that, so they needed a medic. Wrench, best medic they could afford and no nonsense, not putting up with Electra when they're being overdramatic or throwing a tantrum... She's a blessing to the group. Her only fault is that when she gets too stressed or frustrated she ends up throwing things about. Sometimes at others if that person was the reason she became so frustrated.

Volta, in a relationship with Joules, the two of them are a constant gossip together. Always chatting up a storm, flirting or judging others because that's what they like to do. How they work together no one knows, Volta is more quiet compared to her partner, and stays out of the chaos Joules makes. Though, she has her limits and when they're pushed she'll always enter what the group calls "mother mode". Fussing and talking to anyone like a child as she scolds them, it doesn't matter how old that person is, she'll do it and it works. It never works on Joules though, but Joules does tease her about it.

Joules, the most controlled chaos of the group when compared to Bolt. She won't make chaos on a whim, it's always well thought out which scares anyone around her who isn't Volta. Loud, in your face, but extremely sweet to anyone she bounds with. Just be careful that she doesn't drag you onto whatever she's doing, be that anything to do with dynamite, an argument or even a fight. Yet, Volta somehow is able to disable her need to make something explode with a simple no. They're an odd pair, but they work.

#starlight express #stex 2024 #stex revival #stex london 2024 #stex appreciation month #stex bochum #stex headcannon #StEx #starlight express headcannons

24 notes · View notes

agirlwithglam · 11 months ago

Note

Hi!! I hope I'm not disturbing you but I wanted to ask how do I work hard. Because when I was younger I got really good marks without trying and now the subjects are hard and social media is distracting but I can't seem to delete it. This is also why my grades are even low then before and I'm really afraid to disappoint my parents (being the eldest daughter doesn't help). So can you please just give me some pointers on how can I actually study and not just cry because I don't know how to. Have a great day!! <3

literally omg. is this past me asking me a question?? like actually u have no idea how much i relate and understand this. the "gifted child" who always got good grades without needing to study now finds things more difficult. i know many people have said this, but i actually have been through this not too long ago. i hope these tips help <3

how to work hard + actually study (realistic)

forget hard work. at least do the work! (its so funny because i literally had a post about this all ready in my drafts about to get posted, so i'll keep this short and link the post.) stop focussing on doing hard work like studying 24/7. just put in the basic necessities you need to get a better grade. hard work post link

use the disappointment and embarrassment as fuel. (basically find a very strong why) (mini story-ish thing coming up, skip to the blue text for the actual advice) i still remember the day i got such a bad score on my math and science test, i was FURIOUS at myself and i cried about it! telling it to my parents was one of the hardest things i had to do and feeling their disappointment was even worse. but that became my turning point. i was so ashamed of myself and i resented me so much that i basically just told myself "i dont freaking care what you feel *with distaste*. you brought this on yourself you failure" (a bit very harsh, yes i know) but the way i studied that week- i studied more than i every had before! also doing this doesnt really lower my self esteem a whole lot, but if it does with you, please be gentle with yourself. : so what i'm trying to say it; use that feeling of shame and disapointment as a fuel, a motivation. The big “why”.

ALTER EGOOOSSSS. this helps SOOOO MUCH its so underrated. embody the energy of your fav people who are the academic inspiration you wanna be! example: rory gilmore, paris geller, elle woods, blair waldorf, etc etc! not only is this so helpful but it also makes it so much more fun and easier!!

parent yourself. i used to tell myself to do stuff like "go study now!" or "get up lazy-butt" but in my mind. but what if you tried to say those stuff out loud to yourself? it just creates a whole new level of real. So start telling yourself to do stuff out loud.

honestly just start. stop letting yourself think about how "uncomfortable" and how "annoying" it will be. All you need to know is that you need to get it done. Right? Ok. So now what’s the next smallest step you can take to getting to do the unwanted task? It may be taking out your material, opening your book, etc.

( !! tough love, but very important rant coming up)

You privileged brat. Your parents gave up EVERYTHING so you could have the education that you are having. They worked so so hard for YOU. So YOU can have the life you want. And all for what? Just for you to throw it all away and say “oh im lazy”. HELL NAH.

And also, do you realise how fortunate you are to be even living in such a time/ era where you have access to basically EVERYTHING? You’re stuck on something? You could easily search it up!! And whats more is that you can further learn. You can search up and find out more about the thing that you’re studying, become the smartest person in your class, get so ahead in life. I hope you realise that if you do use all the resources and materials and help that’s been given to you, just imagine how far you could go! Further than Albert Einstine, Elon Musk, etc. you may be like “what! No that’s gonna be too hard!” But did they have the tools that you have right at your hand? No! They made it all the way with just simple stuff and having to work super hard. But you live in a time where you can do TWICE as much without working as hard!!

And one more thing, QUIT WHINING. “Oh school is so hard!” “Oh school is so boring!” Like whattt???? You are so FORTUNATE and LUCKY to be even getting access to such education! MILLIONS of kids out there would kill to be able to learn what you are so easily dismissing right now. So TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WHAT YOU HAVE. Put your ALL, your very BEST into studying and getting good grades because THAT is whats gonna take you so SO far in life.

Thank you very much, *mic drop*. (i still ly pookie)

dealing with social media:

put the screen time widget on your phone home screen. i did this, and i became so embarrassed by the amount of screen time i had in one day (*cough* 12 hours *cough*) that i made certain to stop using it as much.

screen time limits. this may or may not help you, bc i know that when i knew the screen time password, it didn't do a lot of help but when someone else did (like parents or someone you trust), then it definitely worked. this is probably only best if you're a child around under 14 ish bc thats around the age when most parents put screen time limits + after that age you're gonna be a lot more independent.

more *extremely* helpful resourses:

tips to decrease your phone screen time by @imbusystudying

how to reduce your screen time in the digital age? (an article)

studying tips from a straight-A student by @universalitgirlsblog2

how to study like paris geller by @4theitgirls

more blogs i recomend:

@elonomhblog @mindfulstudyquest @study-diaries @thatbitchery

xoxo, vanilla

108 notes · View notes

silenzahra · 6 days ago

Note

Muahahaha, you know I'd LOVE to ask you some questions about your writing! Even though I already know the answer to some of the questions in the ask game, there are also quite a few I don't, and really want to change that😉 For now let me ask you these: 4, 11, 17, 18 and 23.

I hope you know that it's okay if you take some time to answer!😊

Based on this fanfic ask game ✨

My dear Mugi! Hehe, I'm so glad that you're so curious about my writing 🤭 You certainly know a lot about it already, but I'm so happy you wanna know more 🥰

Thank you so much for sending these questions! Let's-a go! 😄

4. What are some words or phrases you feel like you overuse?

... Oh wow, we start with the hard ones, huh? 😬 Mugi, I swear, just with this answer I'd have enough mateial for a whole post, and a VERY long one 😂 But I'm gonna try not to do that and say... Well, for the words, precisely the word "say" and its many synonyms (such as "ask," "respond," "exclaim"...), as well as the word "look" and its many synonyms ("gaze," "glance," "stare"...), definitely win the prize. I struggle SO MUCH when editing my translations so they won't sound too repetitive because of these words. As for phrases... I feel that I always describe the characters' emotions and reactions the same way. For instance, they're always "short on breath," or their heart "skips a beat," or they're always putting "a hand to their chest," or things like that... And they're ALWAYS smiling, and the way I describe their smiles, again, feels the same every single time 🙃 I'm well aware I'm probably the only one who notices, but being a perfectionist writer as I am, it's one of the things I definitely need to improve.

11. What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?

Hmm this one is quite interesting 🤔 You know, the first thought usually has to do with the numbers, like, it'd be the most obvious thing to think that a story that has success is the one with the highest number of notes/kudos/comments/whatever. And maybe in the past I would've agreed, but not anymore.

To me, a fic that is successful is a fic that can make people happy no matter when it's been posted. It's a fic that can make whoever reads it feel things, so much so that some people even feel like rereading it at times. It means that the story stuck with them when they first read it, and I've learned that this can happen even a year after said fic was published. All in all, that's what matters to me the most: that what I write can make people happy. Even if it's just one person that enjoys the fic, then I'll consider it to be successful. It fulfilled its mission.

17. What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

👀👀 I can clearly *see* what you're doing with this question, my friend... I'm afraid you're not as sneaky as you may think 🤭😌

Still, here's my answer: I'm proud that, even if I'm mostly a VERY slow writer and usually spend months working on a story before I feel ready to finally post it, at times I can actually do the opposite and write a short story in just a few hours, AND feel happy and proud with the outcome. Oddly enough, this has happened to me with the two most recent Mareach fics I've posted, Bubbles of love and Clear morning, as well as with Bliss, the short story I wrote inspired by @bberetd's most recent comic.

And now that I think about it, I also didn't take too long writing Where is my brother? 🤔 I guess that, when the words start coming, I simply obey, sit down, and don't get up until I've written them all 😌📝

18. How many WIPs do you have and how many do you expect to finish?

Oof, this one's a bit tricky 😅 There are a few WIPs that I haven't talked about publicly yet, and as for now I'd rather keep it that way (I prefer to wait till I've worked a bit more on them or even till they're finished). And adding them to the ones that I have mentioned at times... lemme do the math... 23. Okay, that's honestly more than I expected 😅 I need TIME to bring them all to life oh my God.

As for the ones that I expect to finish... I mean, hopefully all of them 😅 But speaking in terms of a near future, let's say three. If everything goes according to plan, the first one will be ready next month! 🤞🤞🤞

23. What's a story you'd love to write but haven't even started yet?

Oh I have this one VERY clear: it's the story that narrates my girl Violet's birth and everything that happened before that. A GREAT part of it is inspired by Luigi's Mansion, which is among my most favorite series in the Mario franchise, and so many things happen that I get excited just by thinking about it 🤭 And I swear I do it on a daily basis at this point 😂 So I know when the time finally comes to start writing this fic, I will have a BLAST 😁

So this is it, dear Mugi! I deeply appreciate you sending this ask as I've really enjoyed answering these questions 😄 (And also that you said that it was okay if I took some time 🫂). I hope they satiated your curiosity and you could get to know me a bit better as a writer 🥰

Still, I do see that "for now" right there, so if there's still something else you'd like to know, feel free to ask!

Thank you sooo much 💖

#ask game #answered asks #ask box #fanfic writer ask game #megamagimugi #silenzahra

15 notes · View notes

allwormdiet · 5 months ago

Text

Sentinel 9.3

Y'know, the irony here is that as I'm writing this post I've just started an online course with video lectures.

Solid bit of establishing characterization, an easy display of people's emotional ties and states.

Parahuman science must be so fucking hard to work with, honestly. Your subject matter is made up of a bunch of people with trauma-activated abilities that actively defy physics or other laws of reality, combination of psychology and whatever the hell you call studying outliers in how the fucking universe works.

Also glad people aren't just content to let the matter of parahuman origins end at "they just started happening." I know they haven't cracked the how or why of it in thirty years but I also know they crack it some time in the next two-ish years of canon, which should be interesting.

Also also, the inclination towards combat and conflict is... I know it's not going to be a long time until we talk about the "why" of that one either, but when we do I have notes for the designer(s) on these things

Oh, okay, so trigger events are talked about in a 100-level course, and Taylor straight up didn't know about them. Interesting? She really didn't give that much of a shit about cape stuff before stumbling into the life of a supervillain, huh.

Correlation between physical trauma -> physical powers and psychological trauma -> mental powers is interesting as well, although that leaves plenty of room for the edge cases. Glory Girl is actually the prime example there, too, brute and mover seem like the obvious tags but that doesn't cover the aura, which is I guess master? I'm less and less convinced that it was really just a foul in basketball that made her trigger tbh.

Also: I cannot even fucking imagine what the studies must be like about the New Wave families. Imagine writing your fucking thesis on the Dallon-Pelham Torment Nexus. Imagine being Victoria, Amy, Crystal, or Eric, and your family is being taught about in classes because of how "good" it is at inflicting superpowers on you. No I will not entertain the idea that either family is normal, parahuman psychology has so far shown zero signs of being healthy for anybody and it's not going to start holding back when it comes to child-rearing.

I'm not unsympathetic to what Clockblocker is stewing over, but the PRT can't let these kids dedicate every waking hour to crisis management; there will be a day where they're not dealing with a drowned city, and they might as well get ready for it now, and take time off from trudging through muck and mayhem as they do it.

Narrowing my eyes at the witch burning thing but I'm not going to harp on whatever the hell's going on there.

I think the gender divide makes sense but I don't know if it holds totally consistent in-story; the pre-Leviathan Wards and Protectorate ENE definitely leaned more male than female in its numbers, Merchants and ABB are two men to one woman, Empire is... eight men to seven women I think? I think as of right now the only teams we have that even have more women than men are Undersiders, Travelers, Faultline, and New Wave.

This is probably more math than I should be doing but whatever, don't use math in your story if you don't want someone checking it.

That's the same thing as Circus, right? Interesting that it's a known phenomenon.

He's doing his best, be nice.

Bunch of people are gonna be really annoyed when it turns out where powers come from because there's no way they could predict it from where they're standing.

Hwoof.

Oh, so that's Clockblocker's trigger event and power explained all at once, isn't it? I don't know if it's stated explicitly but "buying time in every way except for the one that matters the most to you" sounds like the kind of monkey's paw shit that powers love to do.

Now see, there's an interesting dilemma, isn't it. Family teams are all well and good (allegedly, given how parahumans work) but the moment one or more members die all of a sudden it's that much more fucked up for everybody. Even if the team persists past losing Manpower and Shielder there's no way they're gonna hold together after Amy & Vicky's Nightmare Extravaganza. One of the most notable independent teams in the setting with over a decade of experience, and in the span of a few months they're going from apex to nonexistence. I don't really have it in me to weep for the adults, see above suspicions about Torment Nexus, but I feel awful for the kids. Crystal is gonna be the last one standing until, what, Ward? That's gotta fuck you up good. Poor fucking girl.

And then the portraits. Hoo boy.

The portraits thing feels. I dunno. Do you have to put them right next to the other members? That feels like a really good way to get your underage parahumans even more fucked up about mortality if I'm being honest.

This is touching. Also fuck cancer.

Exactly what the Wards need, less open communication.

This is a hard conversation to have in a lot of ways. Weld is fumbling but he's trying, and the rest of the team needs to meet him in the middle for things to work out.

And. Ugh. I see an unfortunate side of myself in Clockblocker here. I've got an awful habit of going for low blows in an argument if I'm feeling low enough. I get mean, I say things just to make it hurt. I haven't done it in a long time, but it's still a thing I have done and can do if I don't watch it. With this at least it's an accident, or at least the extent of harm Clockblocker is doing is way beyond what he intended.

Clockblocker has the sense to fear Glory Girl in this moment, and she has the grace to forgive him.

And that's proof of who Clockblocker is when he's not at his worst. When he's not lashing out because of the active fucking wringer he's being shoved through, he's obviously thoughtful and kind; the lashing out is, uhh, understandable, but still a problem.

She's just a kid...

I talked about this with some folks on Discord, it's kind of remarkable to me that a guy with literal empathy powers couldn't hold a steady relationship with a single girl. I'm sure parahuman romance is its own special kind of fraught, but that's a little silly.

That said, it sounds like Gallant was good people.

This is very funny though

Oh hey, we have anger and futility coming back together again, haven't seen that for a minute.

Honestly I feel like the ones who try to be funny are usually the ones who've got so much shit going on in the background, anger is the least surprising thing to come from the team's designated funny one.

Good on Dennis for realizing how easy it is to use anger and how hard it can be to let go of it. Shit sucks.

Wuh oh.

This is gruesome, and a harbinger of things to come. Oh boy.

Fuck were the Travelers even doing here, anyhow?

Also crazy bold of the Wards to try and pick this fight. The Travelers have such outrageous firepower, I don't think there'd be much sense in picking this fight.

Skimming back through the fight, not a whole lot for me to say? I'm not super invested in it, I guess, it feels like there's exceptionally little actually riding on this fight. The Travelers want to fuck off and the Wards want to stop them from fucking off, the gallery fight had more meat than this.

"Oh thank god, a conflict I can throw myself into to feel useful and offset all the negative feelings that not fighting has left me stricken with."

That's not a criticism of Clockblocker by the way, if anything I'm just staring at the thing brought up earlier this chapter where most parahumans are driven into fighting each other and suspecting something of a connection.

Current Thoughts

I see some of my younger self in Clockblocker, which is ironic bc I actually had a superhero OC back in high school named Clockblock (his powers were a lot broader and his thing was more about struggling with overwhelming ennui in the face of his own significance in the grand scale of Time Itself). I hope he manages to get over that anger and hurt, but he's a parahuman, so I kinda doubt it.

Kid Win next, plus further plot developments.

#parahumans #wormblr #worm liveblogging #liveblog #worm sentinel

29 notes · View notes

kelogsloops · 11 months ago

Note

putting this in the tumblr ask box bc idk where else to put it 🕺 does anyone even read these still

anyways i just woke up but i had a dream and you were a big part of it- i don’t want to say it was a nightmare or like a bad dream but like basically in the dream you announced that you would be quitting art and like retiring ig? it was for a few reasons but in that moment idk i just realized just how much you have had an influence on my life- you know that saying “you don’t know what you have until you lose it”? yeah…

honestly at first when i woke up i was so ready to call it a nightmare, like “oh my god?? you?? leaving?? forever?? noooo!” but as i’m sitting here awake now i realize eventually it’s probably gonna happen- maybe not in the way it was in my dream with you making a whole like announcement video and wiping your accs, but maybe quieter. i wonder if it’ll be that you stop making art, but i find that hard to imagine. i think it would happen slowly, less and less posts as the years go on. in my head even if you stop posting it, i’d think you’re still creating, making art for simply the sake of such. but then i think about how silly that thought is though, i don’t know you outside of your social media bubble. i don’t know your life and what happens there so to even assume something so quiet is pretentious of me.

like i said, at first i thought it was a nightmare, i can’t bear the thought of you leaving one day- especially for the reasons you gave in my dream it was like “i gave up, arts getting too much for me, and things are so competitive now no one wants my art anymore…” blah blah blah. it was all my own stress as an artist manifesting onto you i think- but anyways i hope that should the day ever come where you do end up leaving your socials and whatnot, i can only hope that it’s out of your own accord and you do so because you want to, not out of pressure or anything like that. like i’m not saying i want you to quit or anything, but what i’m saying is if it happens i just hope it’s something that you chose on your own. i just don’t think i could ever stand that happening though without letting you know how much of an impact you’ve had on my life.

i found your art when at a very developmental part of my life, so your work wether consciously or not i think has just become like a part of my brain wether conscious or not haha. whenever i go to draw even if i don’t explicitly go to look to your work for inspiration, it’s still there i can see it. it’s like just unconsciously ingrained at this point. but more than that though the whole idea of like “brb chasing dreams” and whatever and the whole idea that i feel you impart every time you share pieces of your journey as an artist to just keep going, i kind of stole that mantra for myself and started to tell myself that as well. even at my lowests, i’m still trying to follow that dream, even lost and i don’t know what direction i’m going in there’ll always be that dream as an anchor almost.

thank you for all that you’ve shared and thank you for being the biggest inspiration in my life. i know that’s quite dramatic to say, but i mean it in full honesty. whatever the future holds for you, i hope it’s kind. i hope you live a long life chasing all your dreams where at the end of the day, you’re happy. thank you.

waking up to find a message like this in my inbox has me feeling t e a r y. it's reading stories like these and hearing how my work has impacted people that makes this all feel so surreal sometimes. the fact that people would even care if i stopped making art one day or just disappeared is crazy... i'm very fortunate!

i've resigned myself to the fact that sure, one day (but hopefully never) i won't be able to pursue a professional career as an artist anymore, but if there's one thing that i can promise, it's that there is no reality in where i stop making art!

i don't know if i show it enough, but to each and every one of you who have been part of my journey so far, thank you from the bottom of my heart. it's messages like these that pinch me and remind me how it's all so worth it

forever #brbchasingdreams

#ask me #ask me anything #ask

89 notes · View notes

lagncx · 9 months ago

Text

Dadastarion x reader because I’m working on so much fanfics and a horror/ thrill story and school and I’m losing my- sorry

“COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!” You fell out of bed, your husband's voice shaking the whole house, a groan escaped your lips as you took your last few hops off the stairs. “What is it love?” You hummed looking at your husband who was facing your son with his hands on his hips “Your son here is disobeying the rules again” he scoffed “Honestly I don’t know how much I can take before I pop your head off.” He sighed, his body relaxed when he felt your arm around his waist and a warm kiss on his cheek “What did he do today?” You smiled

Astarion pushed you off him, glaring at you “Sorry..” you hummed. “Your son went out without asking, again!” he huffed “Oh yeah? Where'd he run off to this time?” you raised a brow at your son who was entering his teen era so this was well expected but since everything astarion has been so worried about your son's safety. From any monster hunters, goblins, or any other enemies from the past. “Just the festival Mother, the people are getting ready for it today and my friends were going so I joined but I stayed in the shade Mom just like Dad ordered me to.” Oh so much like his father the sarcastic tone and his sneak at his father which Astarion catches on quickly his nose flaring “Well he only does that because he loves you dumplings. It’s for” Before you finished your son sat down in the chair looking out through one of the windows.

“My safety I know I know.” You chuckled “Then you know to behave and follow rules.” Astarion only scoffed and walked to the kitchen. You could feel he wanted to say something to you so you followed your instincts toward your dear partner. “What is it, baby?” You said picking some lint off of his shirt and laying your head on his shoulder as he covered whatever he had to put in the oven, shooing you away to back up. “I hate when you do that.” He said, closing the furnace and leaning against the counter looking at you, “Do what?” You laughed genuinely lost “Make me the bad guy.” He rubbed his forehead, his lip creased as he frowned “I try to get along with him but he likes you more, you're easygoing. But he doesn’t know what I do, the things we’ve gone through and I’ll die if anything happens to him the way my heart tightens. I'm scared one of the days he goes out he’s gonna be a pile of ash…gods forbid someone take him and I can’t protect him like Cazador, Kidnapping me I-'' his throat catches, tightens but you pull him towards you into your embrace you held him tightly “shh baby. It’s okay, it's been a long day. I can take care of the food for now.” You kissed his hair and led him to the stairs watching him go up you turned towards the chair your son sulking his head in his hand leaning against his hand “It's not fair” he whispered to you his father out of earshot “Not fair I had to be cursed because I'm his blood.” you leaned against the hall frame “Now I have to deal with this weird hunger and have to worry about blowing up if I even enjoy the warm sun?” you laughed “That won't happen, you got that from me.” you shrugged “But it's not your father's fault, he didn't ask for this. To be what he is.” you sat on the chair arm next to

You looked down at your son seeing the way his face changed from annoyance to fear when he saw the cold look in your eye the look paralyzed him. “You will respect your father's wishes however and you won't talk back to him. He's been through so much and you are one of the only people he has and I won't tolerate you talking down on someone you haven't given a chance to Learn about. Especially not your father.” you got up and left your son in the room alone entering the kitchen, were you too hard on him? Well, at least Astarion wouldn't be the only bad guy now.

——-

You walked into your home the curtains of course closed so your eyes took time to adjust to the darkness “I'm home!” you yelled and there was silence…Awesome the house all to yourself?! Freedom to be a slob? To be lazy?! To sit and do nothing?!!?? The gods have blessed you finally. You kicked off your shoes before stepping on the wood panel floor and the velvet wool carpet in the living room. Why did you do that? you thought.

Damn you house husband!!

“You filthy animal! Have you no manners remove those shoes before you even think of walking into this room!”

You sighed too late to disrespect his rules you just sat down pulling a book from the shelf next to you putting something to mark where in the shelf you pulled it from since your husband insisted on it being alphabetical so you could know where recipes for drow poison were instead of pulling out millions of books nowhere near poison or anything you needed leaving a mess. You started to read the novel and enjoyed your time alone.

Ten chapters in, You Heard the Door, and in came your two stars. “There are my boys!” you greeted them walking over to them both kissing your son's forehead and pushing him away playfully to embrace your husband dramatically “Oh my dear! Where have you been?!! I couldn't feed myself darling it was oh so terrible and the chores! Oh, the chores!! I was so alone.” you felt a hand push you away since it collided with your face your voice was silenced “away with you, your like a leech” Astarion scoffed. You pouted then just giggled kissing his knuckles. “Seriously darling, where were you? It's barely sunset are you hurt? What did our son do this time?” you glared at the boy in question who just put his hands up scoffing in offended confusion. “Nothing…we went to the festival.” he smiled at you and your mouth fell open “What?? How?!” you spun him around looking for burns “G-get off of me!!” he pushed you brushing off his clothes “I just wore a cloak and stayed close to the shadows and he went to play with his friends but we had a great time.” he fixed a few hairs in your son's head picking out the grey hairs making your son hiss a breath “beauty is pain kiddo.” He laughed and they both passed you headed to the kitchen to store the treats they got

——

You climbed into bed flopping over the legs of your beloved he took a hand from the book he was reading brushing it over your hair* your body shivered when you stretched and sighed “so what possessed you and our son to get along for once?” You looked up at him, he shut the book and sat it down on the dresser beside him, his hair slicked back and his reading glasses drooping over his nose looking at you. “He just really wanted to go and he said that we would be careful. And gods I can’t deny that face and those eyes. I made an adorable child.” He laid his head back shutting his eyes “you sure did” you smiled admiring the pale elf’s beauty.

“I owe it all to you.” He smirked “filling your role as the bad guy.” You inched your face closer to his “all for you baby, anything you need.” You giggled and kissed him before he pushed you to the side “quit, we have a sleeping son in the other room.” You just grumbled and he chuckled at your cute frustration. “Tomorrow morning he’s going out with his friends. Maybe if you behave and” he grabbed your ear “Stop tracking dirt around the house!! I’ll give you some long needed distress.” You cried in pain.

Eh, you loved him though. And your son did too. They were your stars guiding you through the dark

(*I don’t like to say through cause mine is nappy)

(I’m so embarrassed if they don’t have ovens or some kinda furnace oven back then)

#writing #fanfiction #x reader #fanfic #x female reader #astarion x tav #bg3 tav #Astarion #bg3 astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate #astarion ancunin x reader #trending

45 notes · View notes

niyahniyaa · 1 year ago

Text

Imperfect Love

Choi Seungcheol x Reader

Tags: au, smut, angst, heartbreak, fluff, breakups

A/N: This is my first short story. I'm thinking of writing a pt.2 or just making an entire story of it but it depends on how this does. So bare with me.

Synopsis: You and Seungcheol have been happy for a while now. It’s a perfect relationship.…until it isn't.

Credit to my Beta Writer @liyahlisworld

————————————————————————————

“I’m in the kitchen.” You yell, calling out to your boyfriend who just walked in the house. It’s 5:30 pm, he usually walks in around this time, so you were already expecting him.

“Watcha cooking?” He asks hugging you from behind, the minty scent coming from his breath as he places small kisses on your neck and shoulders. You turn to look at him, setting the spoon down on the counter. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you place a small peck on his lips.

“How does spicy stir fried pork and kimchi with udon noodles sound?” You ask smiling up at him. He returns the gesture kissing you softly on the nose.

“Sounds good Naekkeo” he starts. “ I’m gonna go put my things away, I’ll meet you back at the table ok?” He grabs his bag he previously placed on the couch and walks upstairs to the room. You put the finishing touches on the meat and start to make your plates. On cue, Seungcheol walks into the dining room and sits across from you at the table.

“Anything new today at work?” You ask, sparking a conversation. He shakes his head while slurping up some noodles. “Nothing really.” He starts. “We just got a new VP for Marketing. She seems nice I guess.” He says picking up a piece of meat.

You nod your head taking in this info. He works at Hybe, one of the biggest recording companies in Seoul. He’s the CEO so he gets pretty busy, which is why you like to have dinner ready once he gets home. Being together for 5 years now you’re pretty used to his schedule.

“So how was work,” he asks taking a sip of water, “anything eventful happen?” You work at the local Veterinary Clinic. Today just so happens to be the day that you preformed a life saving surgery on a baby shiba.

“I actually performed a very successful surgery on a pup today,” you start, “I was so nervous honestly, it was super risky and I’ve grown so attached to her on the count of her frequent visits and tests, so my nerves we’re shot!” You exclaim shaking your head. It’s quiet.

You look up instantly meeting eyes with Seungcheol. His deep dark browns staring at you attentively. Listening and taking in every word that came out of your mouth. You can’t help but blush at the sight. That’s when you finally take the chance to analyze him. His black hair lay messily atop his head, some strands hanging over his eyes. He’s wearing a white tank top that exposed his beautiful broad shoulders. You look back up at his face and notice he’s biting his lips.

How long have you been staring? Has he noticed?

“Wow,” He says snapping you out of your thoughts. “Sounds like it was a lot and you have to remember not to get too emotionally involved Naekkeo”. He says gently. He didn’t seem to notice your staring. He straightens up and reaches out for your hands. “Yea I know, they’re just so cute.” You respond as you place your hands softly on his big palms.

“Saw something you liked y/n?” He asks caressing your hands, making soft circles on the back of your hand. He’s staring at you intensely as if he’s trying to undress you with his eyes.

He noticed.

You feel the your cheeks getting warm and you look down shyly. Even after all these years together, he still gives you butterflies like it’s the first time meeting him all over again.

“I was just uh-,” you start. “I just noticed how messy your hair looked.” You say sheepishly. You smile and shake your head. “How is it that you can still give me the same feeling I’ve felt when I first met you Cheol?” You ask him. He smiles exposing his cute deep dimples. “I don’t know?”, he starts. “Maybe it was the spell I placed on you after our first date”. You roll your eyes at his cheesy remark. He’s so cute. “Whatever.” You smirk.

————————————————————————————

You start to gather the dishes to clean when you hear your phone ding on the table. You put the remaining dishes you were holding in the sink and walk back towards your phone.

Dokyeomie🍕 8:17 pm: Bestieeeeee

Dokyeomie🍕 8:17 pm: Wanna hang out after work this Saturday🥹

Dokyeomie🍕 8:19 pm: Soonyoung is flying in around 3 that day. We could meet at your place after we drop his things off at his hotel.

You’re usually just home lounging around after work. Cheol doesn’t come home for almost another 3 hours after you get off anyways so you could use the company.

You haven’t seen your bestfriend in like a month anyways, and you miss him.

You 8:21 pm: Yea why not, I’ll be home. I miss you my Seokminnie☺️

You 8:21 pm: Didn’t know you and Hosh made up

Dokyeomie🍕 8:23: Yea we’re over it now, she was nobody anyways🥱

You 8:24: Lol yea whatever you say🤣, I’ll see you this weekend ok? Gn bestie

Dokyeomie🍕 8:25: Yay😁see you this weekend gn y/n

“You okay?” Seungcheol asks, damn near scaring you to death. “Jeez Cheollie,” you say holding your chest, “you scared the shit out of me.” You put your phone back down on the charger and start walking towards the kitchen. Cheol following you.

“Seokmin and Soonyoung are gonna come by Saturday after I get off work.” You tell him turning the faucet on. He grabs the towel off the counter beside the sink. Ready to help you with drying the dishes. “Cool, when was the last time you’ve seen each other?” He asks drying a plate. You shrug your shoulders and look over at him. “It’s been a while, he’s been “busy”.” You say using air quotes.

Dokyeom was recently in a relationship. She was introduced to him by Soonyoung, one of our close friends. To make a long story short, she cheated on Dk with Yeonjun, one of Hoshi’s associates, at a party. Hoshi found out and didn’t tell Dokyeom about it. He was pretty mad at him and instantly broke up with the girl. He says that she was a nobody, but they dated for almost a year and Dk grew to love her. It definitely broke his heart, not that he’d admit to it.

“He’s been shelled away in his house since the breakup but if he says he was “busy” then who am I to doubt him”. You say handing Seungcheol a cup. You finish washing the last of the dishes and turn the faucet back off. “As long as they’re alright and are talking again that’s all that matters right?” Cheol says kissing your cheek. Your stomach flutters and you smile.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” You turn the lights off in the kitchen and living room then grab your phone as you make your way upstairs. Seungcheol grabs your hand as you reach the top of the steps. He pulls you back softly, turning around to meet his hard chest. “I missed you today y/n.” He says biting his lips. He cups your chin turning you into a kiss, your lips instantly reciprocating.

He kisses you softly, stroking his tongue across your lips asking for an invitation. You instantly oblige parting your lips for his tongue to play with yours. He guides you into your room with a hand on your back. You haven’t had him all day. You can never get enough of the way he admires you so passionately.

“Cheollie,” you began, a soft moan escaping as he kissed your shoulder, gently lowering your bra strap. “Shower.” You say, tugging on his shirt. He picks you up bridal style and carries you toward the bathroom. He places you on the sink before starting the steaming shower. You began to take your clothes off, feeling Seungchol’s eyes watching your every move.

You look up making direct eye contact, your cheeks burn as you turn away still unable to maintain eye contact after all this time. It’s not like he hasn’t seen your naked body before. “You’re beautiful.” He says staring at you heatedly. You turn slightly covering your breast, tossing your bra at him playfully. “See something you like Cheol?” You ask using his own words against him. You step into the shower closing your eyes as warm water rushes down your head, flowing like a stream to your toes.

You feel arms wrap around your stomach and you turn around to see Seungcheol looking down at you. You move over slightly letting him into the water. The way it just runs down his head. His hair falling over his face and the way he slicks it back with his hand, it’s driving you insane. God how is he so hot. You look down at his now fully exposed body. His abs glistening against the moonlit ambience in the skylight above the shower. His large member fully erect as it softly pokes your belly.

You place your hands on his abs and slowly make your way lower. “I missed you too baby.” You say softly as you let your hands grip his hard cock. He picks you up suddenly wrapping your legs around his waist as he pins you against the wall.

You moan quietly as his lips find their way back to yours. “Fuck!” You groan as he rubs the tip of his dick along your folds. “I love you so much baby,” he whispers against your lips, “there’s no one I’d rather love-” a kiss against your shoulder, “no one I’d rather fuck.” He groans sliding into you slowly.

“Cheollie fuck!” You shout gripping onto his shoulder tightly. “Mmm, can’t believe I went the whole day without feeling your pussy.” he says moaning. You can never get over how dirty Cheol sounds when he has you like this, begging for anything he’d give you.

“God! You feel so good baby, so tight.” He rambles placing a hand on the wall while using the other to hold you up. In the midst of fucking you crazy, he still manages to make you feel so safe and balanced between him and the wall, never letting his grip loosen.

You feel your body start to tingle as he picks up the pace. He kisses you sloppily, teeth clashing as he moans inside your mouth.

He bites your bottom lip and you let out a moan. You throw your head back as he hits your g-spot, he knows your body like the back of his hand, pulling your strings like a fiddle. “Baby I-I’m g-gonna cum.” You say closing your eyes losing yourself to the pleasure. You drown in the ecstasy his strokes give. Sinking further and further into that hazy headspace.

“Not yet baby, wait for daddy.” He coos caressing one of your tits with his free hand. “I’m almost there baby, fuck.” He says. You look back down to see his eyes closed and him biting his lip. “Fuck me Cheollie…yessss, just like that.” You moan out meeting his thrusts in tandem. You feel him groan into your shoulder and you know he’s close. You lean in, biting his ear and kissing down to his neck. He moans loudly and you know that was it for him. “Shit baby yess…..fuck I’m cumming.” He says rubbing your clit with his free hand pushing you over the edge. You climax together, gripping each other tightly as you come down from your collective high.

“I love you y/n.” He says gently placing you down on your feet, still holding you close as to not let you stumble. You bask in the afterglow, holding him close. You stand on your tiptoes and give him a kiss. “I love you too Seungcheol.”

————————————————————————————

The sun shined brightly through his office as he walks inside. Seungcheol was placing his bag on the chair by his desk when his assistant walked in. Kim Mingyu has worked for Seungcheol for quite some time now, becoming good friends as years passed. “Some night huh boss?” He says chuckling. Cheol was a bit groggy today, and Mingyu liked to mess with him. “Y/n kept you up late last night?” He laughed placing a coffee on his desk.

Seungcheol glares lowly, no real heat behind it and shakes his head, sipping his coffee. “We ready for this meeting?” He asks grabbing files from his drawer. Mingyu shakes his head, putting a hand in his pocket. “Just about, we’re waiting on your new VP, she isn’t in yet so,” he says checking his watch, “we still have a few more minutes.” Seungcheol rolls his eyes. He hates tardiness, it’s one of his biggest pet peeves in a workplace.

“We have a lot to go over so we have to start now.” He commands walking out of his office. Making his way to the conference room, he groans as he collides with someone. Papers flew everywhere. He bends down to help pick them up but his hand brushes another in the midst. He looks up to meet eyes with a woman. “I’m so sorry.” She says, bowing slightly and tucking her hair behind her ear.

Seungcheol smiled reassuringly. “It’s alright, your the new VP aren’t you?” He asks standing back up and handing her the papers he held. She nodded, staring at Cheol. “Sorry I’m late, traffic was horrible leaving my apartment.” She apologized. Seungcheol nodded, understanding. “Come, we’re beginning now.” He said, leading her to the conference room.

————————————————————————————

“I’m just happy she’s ok.” You say proudly over the phone. “Don’t forget she has an exam coming up soon, we gotta make sure she’s not scarring too bad or anything from the surgery.” The woman on the other end agrees and says her goodbyes. You hang up and take a deep breathe. You finally get some quiet time in your office. It’s been busy today, from checkups to filing paperwork, you’ve been on your feet all day.

“You alright?” Your receptionist Younji asks stopping by your office. The clinic was slowing down now and there aren’t anymore customers occupying the lobby, so you don’t mind her coming in. “Yea I’m fine, just tired.” You say, your yawn proving how burnt out you were. She smiles and leans against the door. “Long day huh, it hasn’t been this busy in a while.” She comments running her fingers through her hair. She’s right. We haven’t been this busy in almost 3 weeks. “Yea something must be in the water.” You say jokingly.

Your phone began to ring and Younji excuses herself, closing the door behind her as you go to pick it up. It’s Seungcheol.

“Hey Jagiya,” he says as soon as you answer.

“Hey babe, how’s work?” You ask smiling at the sound of his voice. You then hear a few laughs from his side of the phone.

“Hey, I won’t be home til late today baby,” he starts. “Me and a couple friends are gonna go for some drinks after work.” He tells you. You nod your head at his statement. A weird feeling sinking in your stomach. “Well Seokmin and Soonyoung will be there to keep me company so that’s alright.” You tell him, remembering your messages with Dk earlier that week.

“Okay great, I’ll see you tonight then.” He says. “I love you.” You hear him kiss the phone receiver and you can’t help but chuckle at his action. “I love you too Cheollie, see you later.” You hang up and place your phone back on your desk. It’s 1 pm right now. You’ll be home soon. Just a couple hours left. You think to yourself, leaving your office.

————————————————————————————

“I don’t care how much money you give me, I’m not jumping into a pile of cow shit. No!” Seungcheol says laughing. He was at a bar not too far from Hybe building and everyone was a few shots in by now. Mingyu laughed loudly, holding his stomach. “Quit asking stupid questions Gyu.” Seungcheol laughs. Everyone was laughing or engaging in their own conversations. The woman from earlier, Naeyon, giggles lightly. “Yea that’s a disgusting question anyway.” She says taking a sip of her soju.

“Ok,” Mingyu starts, finally over his laughing fit. “What if y/n was at the bottom of said shit pile, would you then jump?” He says raising his eyebrows. Seungcheol chuckles to himself. “If y/n was stuck at the bottom of a pile of cow shit,” he began, “I would personally shovel my way through to her.” He says sipping his drink. “Happy now?” He asks lifting his bottle. Mingyu claps while laughing. “Ladies and gentlemen, our CEO.” He says causing the rest of their colleagues to clap unknowingly.

He shakes his head while looking down. Naeyon takes a seat in one of the stools away from him. Trying to grasp his attention. “So you have a girlfriend I assume?” She asks looking up to Cheol, catching his attention. He nods his head while sipping his beer. “Uh yes, yes I do.” He looks away for a second then meets her eyes again. “As a matter of fact, I should be getting home now.” He says grabbing his jacket.

She grabs his wrist before he could completely stand up. “Let me buy you one more drink.” She offers smiling lightly. “I mean we are gonna be working together, might as well get acquainted right?” She suggests beckoning him to sit back down. He looks at the watch on his wrist, 8:45 pm. I’ve got time. He thinks to himself. “Just one more.” He says sitting back down.

————————————————————————————

“Really?” You laugh out as Soonyoung finishes up his story. “That’s so petty Dk.” You say to your bestfriend. Soonyoung telling you how Dokyeom blocked him on everything. He even deleted his social media so Hoshi couldn’t contact him while they were fighting. “What?” Seokmin asks shrugging his shoulders. “That was a dick move and you know it Soon.” Dk said crossing his arms. You knew the whole situation still rubbed him the wrong way. He’s been your bestfriend since freshman year of high school. You knew him like the back of your hand.

“I apologized Dk. Really I’m sorry.” Soonyoung says sincerely grasping Dokyeom by his shoulders and shaking him. “I vow to never ever keep anything from you again.” He says holding out his pinky finger. “I promise.” Dk rolled his eyes, finally unfolding his arms and locking pinkies with Hoshi. “Good.” You say clapping your hands and standing up. “Anybody want another drink?” You ask walking towards the kitchen. “Yeah sure.” Hoshi says. You grab three bottles of Soju out the fridge and walk back to the living room. You hand the bottles over plopping back down. “Thanks baby.” Seokmin says opening his bottle.

“So where’s Seungcheol, shouldn’t he be coming home by now?” He asks changing the subject as he takes a sip with a raised eyebrow. You look at the clock hanging on the wall. 9:45! It is late isn’t it? You think to yourself. You shake your head as if to shake the thought away. “He’s out with a few friends from work, he told me earlier that he’d be home late.” You reassure them. They exchange a look to each other. “Unless he’s really out with some slutty assistant of his.” Hoshi laughs already tipsy.

You laugh uncertainly taking a sip of your drink. “While Mingyu is very handsome, I doubt Cheol would make any advances on him”. They laugh, holding their hands up in surrender. You then think back to the conversation you and Cheol had earlier this week. “There is this new VP that was hired on Monday.” You don’t know why you told them that or why it was even on your mind. Still you couldn’t shake the sinking feeling of his call from earlier. “He said she’s nice.” You finish looking away and rolling your eyes at yourself.

“HELLOO?!” Dk says loudly, smacking the couch. “He’s obviously out with her, right now!” He shouts, completely sure of himself. Hoshi laughs at Seokmin’s sudden outburst. You shake your head. Cheol would never. Besides they’re coworkers. You reassure yourself. “No, come on Dk,” you began, “Cheol would n-.” Your sentence was cut short by the door being swung open. Seungcheol walks in smiling big at you.

“NAEKKEO!!” He yells excitedly. He’s drunk. He turns and closes the door behind himself. He stumbles toward you, tripping over Hoshi and falling onto Dk. “Too much to drink huh Cheol?” Dk asks pushing him to the empty space beside him. You shake your head and walk towards him, checking his face. You brush the hair from his face, looking into his eyes. “Why would you drive like this?” You ask standing up with your hand on your hip. “I made it home didn’t I?” He sasses.

Dk stands up grabbing his now empty bottle. He walks to the kitchen and tosses it inside the bin. “On that note, I think it’s time for us to go.” He says to Hoshi clearing his throat. Soonyoung grabs his and Seokmin’s jacket and walk towards you. “It was great to catch up,” he says hugging you, “see you again soon y/n. Don’t be a stranger!” You walk them to the door, also receiving a hug from Dokyeom. “Love you bestie, thanks for coming over.” You say pulling away. “See you soon.” He says before heading out the door. You close it behind them, locking it in the process, you take a deep breath before making your way back to Cheol.

He’s sprawled across the couch, his eyes now closed. You shake your head as you pull him up. Jeez he’s so heavy. You say to yourself, wincing at the sudden pressure on your shoulder. “Come on Cheollie, you have to help me a little. You say as you walk towards the stairs, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as you keep him from stumbling. He lazily helps you carry him up the steps, tripping over a few in the midst.

You finally make it to the room and you push him onto the bed. He lands forcefully, face first. You place his bag on a chair by your vanity and look over to him. He seems to be asleep now. You shake your head as you began to undress him, starting with his shoes. As you were beginning to take his pants off, you hear a ding, coming from his bag. You walk to the chair you placed it in and look inside. His phone screen lights up the dark space inside as you reach for it. It was a text from an unknown number.

Unknown 10:15: Hey it’s me☺️, just making sure you made it home

Unknown 10:16: You seemed a bit drunk when you left

Unknown 10:17: Anyways just checking on you haha, see you on Monday

“You okay baby?” Cheol asks, suddenly awake. You nod holding his phone up for him to see. “You got a message from some unknown number.” You tell him walking towards the bed. He takes it and looks at the screen briefly. He shakes his head and tosses his phone to the side. “It’s nothing.” He reassured grabbing your hand. “Come here.” He demands pulling you on the bed closer to him. He kisses your lips and you could smell the alcohol on his breathe. You push him back, staring into his eyes. “Take this off babe.” You tell him, referring to his buttoned up shirt. He lazily unbuttons some, but you finish it off for him. “Goodnight beautiful.” He says turning over. You kiss him on his cheek and lay beside him. Trying not to get suffocated by the constant thoughts in your head, you close your eyes and slowly drift off to sleep.

————————————————————————————

“Knock knock.” Seungcheol looks up from his computer to the voice coming from his office door. It was Nayeon. It’s been two months now that she’s been working here, and since then, she’s grown quite comfortable, too comfortable. “Can I come in?” She asks interrupting Cheol from his work. “Sure, is there something you need?” He asks her. She shakes her head, closing the door as she walks in. He looks confused as she walks up and takes a seat across from him.

“I just wanted to tell you that sales have been great since changing the initial marketing technique.” She says referring to their last meeting. He nods sitting back in his chair. “Yes I’ve noticed,” he started, “great job you’re doing.” He says smiling. She blushes, tucking her hair behind her hair. “Thank you Cheol, your ideas really helped.” She says, cheeks turning red. Seungcheol stares at her, surprised by the sudden nickname, a name only close friends used.

“Is there anything else you need?” He asks her shifting in his chair. She looks at the watch on her wrist and looks back up at him. “I’m just about to head out for my break,” she starts, “let me treat you to lunch.” She’s grinning widely. He looks at his watch and sighs. I’ve gotten a substantial amount of work done so why not? “Sure there’s a cafe across the street from here that we could go to.” He says standing up. She smiles also standing up. “Great.” He follows her to the elevator and steps inside with her once it arrives.

“So how do you like the job so far?” He asks her breaking the silence. She turns and looks up at him. “It’s great really. Everyone’s nice and I have an awesome boss.” She smirks flirtatiously. He smiled shyly rubbing the back of his neck. “Just keep up the good work and you’ll breeze by.” He says nicely changing the subject. They make it out the elevator and to the lobby, the warm breeze caressing Cheol’s skin as he steps outside. She follows closely beside him as they cross the street into the cafe on the corner.

“Can I get two medium iced americanos with two pumps of sugar and caramel drizzle, and can I also get two sandwiches on a toasted croissant please?” He asks the woman at the counter, once they get inside. She tells him his price and he pulls out his wallet to pay. “Hey, I’m supposed to be treating you remember?” Nayeon says stepping in front of him. He shakes his head and gently moves her out the way. “I’m a man, I couldn’t.” He says handing over the bills. They stand by the end of the counter and wait for their order to be called.

Once they get their food, they sit at one of the few tables by the window. “You didn’t have to do that.” She says taking a sip of her coffee. He shook his head before taking a bite of his sandwich. “Now you owe me.” He says covering his mouth. She grinned, looking down shyly. “So tell me about this girlfriend of yours,” she started, “she seems like a lucky girl.” Seungcheol chuckled to himself. “Nah, if anything I’m the lucky one. She’s amazing.” He says looking away.

Nayeon smiled not reaching her eyes like earlier. “Well then you’re lucky to have each other.” She says pulling at her sleeve. “I mean how did she score a catch like you?” She asks staring into Seungcheol. He shrugs, cheeks turning red. Looking at his watch he begins to stand up. “I think it’s uh- time to get back.” He says clearing his throat. “Of course.” She said grabbing her bag and standing up. They tossed their trash and she followed him back across the street into the large building. They throw their now empty cups into the bin by the elevator before stepping in.

After what seemed like forever, the elevator doors close. Then suddenly, before he could react, Nayeon is connecting her lips with him. She kisses him deeply before he shoves her away looking down at her. “W- what are you doing?” He asks her stepping back. She steps forward trailing him. “Come on, she doesn’t have to find out.” She says before forcing herself back onto his lips. They kiss for a few seconds before he comes to his senses. What the fuck am I doing? This is wrong. He thought to himself before pulling away again.

The elevator doors finally open up to the 16th floor and he quickly steps out. He rushes back to his office but is stopped by Nayeon calling his name. He turns around just as she’s walking up towards him, stopping beside him. “She doesn’t have to know.” She calls again before walking off. He finally steps into his office and closes the door. What the fuck?

————————————————————————————

Its been two weeks since the incident, and Nayeon continues through their work day as if it hasn’t happened. “See you tomorrow Cheol.” Mingyu calls out as Seungcheol walks past him, leaving the office. He waves back at him and steps in to the waiting elevator. Before the doors could close, Cheol hears someone yell out to him. “HOLD THOSE DOORS PLEASE.” The voice yells. He quickly puts his hand out so the doors don’t shut and the person walks in. It’s Nayeon, holding her bag and a few other things. “Thanks Cheol.” She says smiling up at him.

He doesn’t say anything. Just looks up at the numbers above the doors as they count down to the garage. “Giving me the silent treatment aye?” She asks nudging him lightly. He walks out once they reach the garage, still not saying anything. He finally gets to his car and he suddenly feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Cheol,” she began. Turning around he cuts her off. “Don’t call me that.” He says sternly. He looks up and sighs heavily. “I have a girlfriend Nayeon, this can’t happen.” He says pointing to the two of them. She grins and looks down at his lips. Before she could act, Seungcheol clicks the button on his car key and climbs in, tossing his bag on the passenger seat.

Nayeon taps on the glass lightly asking him to roll down his window. Just drive off Cheol. Don’t entertain her. He thought to himself. He sighs and eventually rolls it down. “She doesn’t have t-.” She’s again cut off by Seungcheol’s deep voice. “Stop!” He says a bit loudly. “She does because she’s my girlfriend and I love her.” He tells her, as if to remind himself. “Ok so you don’t mind me telling her how you came on to me in that elevator two weeks ago?” She threatens. He looks at her, puzzled by her remark. “Just leave me alone.” He says before driving off, leaving Nayeon standing there alone.

————————————————————————————

This shit sucks. Oh to be a woman. You think to yourself while hugging your stomach. It’s that time of the month for you and you can barely move. I’m hungry, you thought to yourself. “Shit dinner!” You say out loud. Cheol would be home any minute and you haven’t started cooking yet. You look at the time on your phone and throw yourself back on the bed. Fuck. Takeout it is, you thought. You open up the food delivery app on your phone and start scrolling through the endless choices. “I’m really craving some pizza right now.” You say out loud to yourself.

“BABE?!” You hear the door slam shut and you knew Seungcheol was home. “UP HERE!” You yell back. He walks up the steps to your room and plop himself on the bed next to you. He’s still thinking about what happened at work and he’s reluctant to tell you. “How was work?” You ask him snapping him out of his thoughts. He sits up running his fingers through his hair. “Stressful.” Is all he says before getting up and walking to the bathroom, taking his phone with him.

“How so?” You ask as he cracks the door. It’s quiet. You can faintly hear typing coming from his phone. Seungcheol types out a message responding to Nayeon’s previous one.

NCoworker 5:30: Come on Cheol. It wasn’t that bad was it?

NCoworker 5:31: Ik you enjoyed it a little right?😌

Cheol 5:45: This has to stop. I love y/n and nothing you do will change that.

NCoworker 5:46: I won’t tell her Cheollie. I promise.

Cheol 5:46: Meet me in my office tomorrow during lunch. This’ll be over soon.

NCoworker 5:46: If you say so. I’ll see you at work. Goodnight love.

“Who you texting?” You ask, making him jump slightly. He turns around quickly locking his phone. “Just Mingyu telling me about his girlfriend.” He lied. You nodded, part of you not believing him, but you quickly brushed that feeling away. “Takeout tonight?” You ask holding up your phone. You’re still undecided so you ask for his opinion. “I kind of want pizza and wings, but if you want something else we can choose the latter.” You tell him walking into his chest, wrapping your arms around him. He’s warm and his heart is beating quite fast. He seems nervous.

“You ok?” You ask looking up at him. He nods and leans down to kiss your nose. “Pizza it is.” He says walking back out of the bathroom holding your hand. You quickly order the food and lay on the bed, letting his hand go. Seungcheol is by the closet undressing. “You know I love you right?” He says randomly. You nod, somewhat confused by his question. “Of course, why what’s wrong?” You ask, brows furrowed. He just shrugs and walks back towards the bathroom, stopping by the door. “Just wanted to make sure you knew that.” He says before walking in and closing the door behind him.

You look over to where he was previously standing and noticed he left his phone. That sinking feeling returns and the next thing you know, your grabbing his phone quickly running back to the bed. Opening it, you didn’t really expect to find anything, you’re not even sure what made you want to go through it. You click on his messages and something immediately catches your eye. “Goodnight love.” Who is that? Your head immediately floods with thoughts. You click the message and your heart jumps.

NCoworker 5:46: I won’t tell her Cheollie. I promise.

Cheol 5:46: Meet me in my office tomorrow during lunch. This’ll be over soon.

NCoworker 5:46: If you say so. I’ll see you at work. Goodnight love.

What the fuck? Who is this? Is he- No. You instantly brush the thought away. He couldn’t. He wouldn’t! Before you could think of anything else, you quickly close out of everything and place his phone back where it was. You hear the water turning off, signaling that he was done showering. You grab the remote and quickly put something random on tv.

A movie began playing loudly as he walks out of the bathroom. “Watcha watching?” Cheol asks smiling at you. He walks into the closet and began dressing himself. You can’t help but sit and think about what you saw. Who is N. What won’t she tell someone. Why is she calling him Cheollie? So many thoughts flood your mind that you didn’t even hear Cheol calling your name. “Y/N!” He says snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Everything alright?” He asks drying his hair. You look over at him. He’s wearing a black T-shirt with some grey sweat pants. His hair loosely hang over his face as he continues to dry it. “Yea everything’s alright.” You say lowly. At least that’s what you told yourself. Just then you hear the doorbell ring. “Must be the food.” Cheol says rushing downstairs, taking his phone and his wallet with him.

Your phone begins to ring. You look at the caller ID to see that it’s your dad. Shit. Here we go. You reluctantly answer.

“Hey dad.” You say, fake excitement in your voice.

“Don’t sound to eager to hear from us.” He says, noticing the sarcasm. “Your mother and I are in town and we would like to see you.” He tells you. You roll your eyes. Terrible timing. Just as I’m starting to make assumptions on Cheol’s whereabouts at work. Your dad never really liked the idea of you and Seungcheol being together. Said he didn’t like the looks of him. Cheol was just a COO at the time. Working underneath a now close friend of his, Kim Namjoon. The elder really favored Cheol and his work ethic and promoted him within a couple years after his retirement. Still, my father didn’t think he was good enough for me.

“Great,” you start, throwing your head back. “What time would be good for you guys?” You ask. You can hear your mother on the other side saying something. Seungcheol walks back in with a plate of pizza and some wings for you and him to share. You get up and walk to the small table in your room. “Tomorrow night. We can grab dinner and catch up.” Your dad says finally. Seungcheol makes a small gesture as to question who was calling. You hold up a finger, telling him to wait a second.

“Sure dad, so I’ll meet you guys tomorrow night at 9.” You tell him. He agrees. Then hangs up. You sigh deeply before taking a bite of your pizza. “That your parents?” He asks handing you a bottle of water. You nod looking over at him. Your mind rushing back to his messages as you continue to stare at him. “Anything interesting happen at work today?” You question hoping he would let you in on whatever those texts were about.

He shakes his head. “Just constantly trying to boost sales for our clients and what not.” He says biting into a piece of chicken. “Gotta keep our clients happy.” He says drinking some of his water. He didn’t tell you. Since when did he start keeping things to himself? Since when did he lie to you? Again thoughts crowding your mind.

You didn’t want to think the worse. But then why would he be lying to you. Why couldn’t he just tell you. You shake the thought away. He wouldn’t. “Could you take this downstairs?” You ask Seungcheol, quickly losing your appetite. He furrows his brows. “You going to bed?” He asks watching you climb back into bed. You nod your head without saying anything else.

Shit. Does she know. She couldn’t possibly. Seungcheol thought to himself. Maybe meeting her parents is what’s upsetting her. They don’t have the best relationship. His mind racing as he took the food downstairs to the kitchen. Just then he got a call from his phone. NCoworker displayed brightly on his screen. What the fuck? Why is she calling him so late?

Seungcheol takes a glance to the top of the steps before hesitatingly answering.

“Hey there.” Nayeon says flirtatiously. He runs his fingers through his hair. What was he doing? Why did he answer? “What did you want Nayeon?” He asks quietly. “I figured you would still be awake.” She says giggling slightly. “I’d love your company right now.” He shakes his head at her remark. What the fuck was her problem? “What the fuck is wrong with you Nayeon,” he begins “This ends tomorrow.” He says to her before hanging up.

————————————————————————————

“Yes two pumps of sugar.” You tell the barista at the cafe. You decide to surprise Cheol by bringing him lunch. You tell yourself that what you saw yesterday was just a misunderstanding. At the same time, you thought it would be a great time to bring him lunch, NOT because he said he would be meeting this N at that time. Though that was also sitting in the back of your mind, nothing wrong with a little lunch pop up right?

You park your car in the garage that connects to Hybe building. Walking towards and into the elevator, you began to get feeling again. Why? It’s not like I haven’t been here before. You think to yourself. Something was different though. A faint nervous feeling. Nervous because you didn’t know what you were walking into.

Finally reaching the 16th floor of the building, you walk until you reach the section his office was in. Mingyu spots you and gives you an endearing smile. “Hey y/n. Nice to see you again.” He says standing up to give you a friendly hug. “Should I let Cheol know, h-.” You basically yell cutting him short. “No!” You shout making him jump slightly. “No,” you continue less loudly now. “I brought lunch for him and wanted to surprise him.” You say showing him the bag and the coffee. He smiles and nods understandingly. “Got it, you know where to go.” He says returning back to his work.

You began walking down the long hallway, making your way to his office. As you reach it, you notice the door is closed. You can faintly make out two voices, one being Cheol’s, the other sound like it belonged to a woman. You instantly walk in, swinging the door open widely. You see Seungcheol and this woman standing uncomfortably close to each other. He notices you and quickly back away.

“What’s this?” You ask staring at him. He looks over at the woman and then back at you. “You must be y/n.” The woman chimes excitedly. She quickly walks up to you bowing. “I’m Nayeon.” She says smiling. N. This has to be her. You look at Cheol who still hasn’t said anything. “Yes,” he finally blurts out, “this is my girlfriend, y/n.” He says still staring at you. He blinks quickly and look away. “What’s going on?” You ask him. He walks up to you and kisses you softly on the lips. You notice Nayeon shift slightly on her feet.

“We were just discussing uh-,” he starts thinking to himself, “some major marketing plans we had for our clients.” He said looking down and noticing the bag in your hand. “You brought me lunch?” He asks you. You couldn’t gather any words, your mind was running a marathon. “I’m the new VP, I’ve been here for about two and a half months now. Cheollie and I here have been working pretty closely.” She tells you happily, staring endearingly at Seungcheol.

“Cheollie?” You repeat, questioning her choice of words. “Yea,” she says all giddy, “we’re basically partners.” She says nudging him. Cheol looks at you and puts his head down. “Nayeon please excuse yourself.” He demands to her. She instantly obliges and closes the door behind herself. You look up at Seungcheol as he guides you to a couch in his office. “Cheollie?” You repeat again, staring deeply at Seungcheol. He grabs your hand reassuringly.

“It’s nothing, I promise it’s nothing.” He says staring into you. You shake your head at him. “It doesn’t seem like nothing Cheol, she seems awfully close to you.” You say, your cheeks turning red. Is this why he’s been lying to you? “I saw the messages Cheol.” You tell him. His eyes widen, he clears his throat trying to remain calm. He swallows thickly and looks back at you. “She’s been coming on to me.” He admits with his head down. You scrunch your face at his remark. “I’ve been avoiding and dodging her advances. I promise nothing has happened or will ever happen.” He promises squeezing your hand tightly.

You didn’t say anything, just nodded. Nothing could escape your mouth. There was a knock at the door, you both look up to see Mingyu standing there with a few papers and folders. “Sorry to interrupt you guys,” he says quietly. “Cheol I have the Chairman on line 3, he’s waiting to hear from you on the recent changes made to the company”. He says before excusing himself.

You finally speak up. “I have to go, there’s some things I have to grab before meeting my parents tonight.” He nods but grabs your wrist before you can leave. “There’s a company party being thrown later,” he says, “we’re celebrating the release of our new group, maybe you could come by after dinner?” He asks. You force out a soft smile. Maybe there really is nothing going on. Maybe he’s telling the truth. He would never lie to you, right?

You go in for a hug, which he returns. “I’ll try ok?”

————————————————————————————

You take a deep breathe before shaking away your nerves. You were standing outside the restaurant your parents told you to come to. You always got a nervous feeling when seeing them again. They’re very judgmental and you long for their approval. You finally walk inside approaching the man at the front. “Hi! I have a reservation for Lee.” He looks up and down his list, nodding his head after finding your last name. “Yes, the rest of your party are already here, follow me.” He says walking off.

As you walk deeper into the restaurant, you see your parents sitting at a circle table towards the back. Your mother notices you and stand up to greet you. “My kitten!” She says excitedly. You smile and walk into her welcoming arms. The scent of blossoms and peaches cloud your senses. You pull away looking over at your dad. He stands up bowing to you with a gentle smile. “Long time no see,” he says dramatically. He then pulls you into a tight hug. “Your mother and I missed you.” He admits shyly. He pulls your chair out for you to sit, he takes his seat after helping your mother. You smile endearingly, shocked by your dads’ words. You fell out with your parents once you started dating Seungcheol.

Your dad just couldn’t get behind the fact that you decided to move in with him, and your mother stands behind every decision he makes. Basically disowning you once you moved away, you haven’t really spoken to them much from that point, so it’s pretty relieving to hear this. “I’ve realized over these past years that he isn’t going anywhere,” he starts,“so I’m willing to give him a chance my Bear, for you.” Your dad finishes. You instantly go in for another hug. Finally.

————————————————————————————

Shit. Who made this drink? Seungcheol thought to himself. He was now sitting at one of the tables on the far side of the conference hall, now on his 3rd or 4th drink by now. “Enjoying the party?” Mingyu asks him walking up to take a seat beside him. Seungcheol holds his cup up with an eyebrow raised. “Who made this drink?” He asks taking another sip, his head beginning to feel fuzzy. “I don’t know, strong isn’t it?” Mingyu questions scrunching his nose up. Seungcheol nearly finishes his drink, the strong taste in the back of his throat.

“You coming back out there?” Mingyu asks standing back up. Seungcheol blinked rapidly, his drink almost catching up to him. “I gotta run to my office really quick.” He said standing up, stumbling slightly before catching himself. Mingyu pats him on the back and makes his way back to the party. Seungcheol walks out of the party towards the elevator. Fuck, this shit is strong, he thought with a shake of his head. Finally the elevator arrives and he presses the 16 for his main office level.

Making his way around the dark space, he finally reaches his office, walking in and closing the door behind him. He sits on the couch that’s awfully comfortable to him right now. He really left to get away from the loud music. The party was nice, but he needed some quiet time for the moment. He kicks his feet up to be fully laid out on the couch, with his arms tucked comfortably behind his head. Just then he heard his office door swing open and close. Fuck.

————————————————————————————

Dinner was amazing. You and your parents touched on a lot of your problems and your dad is even willing to create a mutual relationship with Seungcheol. You pick your phone up and text Cheol telling him that you were on your way to his company’s party.

You 10:35: Heyy Cheollie, dinner went great☺️

No answer. You put your car in drive and hold your foot on the break.

You 10:37: I’m otw ok? I love you❤️

You put your phone down and began making your way to him. Now that your dad loosened his hold on him, you could get them to have a proper meeting together. You couldn’t wait to tell Cheol about it. Driving through the beautiful luminous city lights Seoul has to offer you smile to yourself, it’s so pretty at night, and you rarely go out at night so you don’t get to enjoy this view much.

You finally reach Hybe building and park your car in the adjoined parking garage. You get to the elevator and quickly press the button to the lobby. Fuck. I forgot to ask him what floor the party would be on, You thought reaching the lobby. Walking out, you see the sign with celebratory balloons hanging from it. You approach it to see that the party is on the 12th floor. You sigh and walk back towards the elevator, getting in and pressing the number 12 button.

You finally reach the 12th floor and greet the security guard you’re so used to seeing during your visits. “Nice to see you Ms. Lee.” He says letting you walk past him. You enter to see Mingyu dancing wildly in the middle of the room. You stand by the front laughing as he jumps and does some crazy moves with his arms. He finally spots you and runs towards you. “Y/n!” He says all excitedly. Your instantly pulled into a hug. You giggle at his sudden action. “Where’s Seungcheol?” You ask him after he let you go. He snaps his fingers as if trying to remember. “Ohhh yea,” he starts, “he went to his office.” He says now offering you a drink. You take it and thank him, walking back to the elevator.

When the doors opened to his floor, you couldn’t help but get this cold feeling. It was much different in here at night, an almost eerie feeling. You walk around the dark almost unfamiliar area, finally making it to the hallway that homed his office. Suddenly you hear voices, a man and a woman it sounds like. You can’t really make out their words, you’re too far. Who else would be here at this time?

As you’re close to approaching, you realize it’s coming from Cheol’s office. Finally getting a little closer, you can clearly hear it. “I promise I won’t tell her,” you hear her say, “she doesn’t have to know, this’ll just be our little secret.” She says, sounding seductive. You stand there trying to listen more. Then it’s quiet. You’re hot. You’re ears are hot. You quickly run down the rest of the hallway and burst through the door. Your chest heavy. You can’t breathe.

Walking in, you see Cheol laying back on his couch. His hair disheveled, shirt unbuttoned and pants halfway down. What the fuck. On top of him sat Nayeon, the very person he told you not to worry about. She quickly climbs off him, pulling her dress back down. Seungcheol quickly stands up, staring at you deeply, as if he’s trying to read your mind.

Your mind was racing. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Cheol would never. Your previous thoughts flooding your head. Five years. Five years of a relationship that he just let go of. Did he not care? You thought he loved you. He said that he would never hurt you. So many promises he made to you gone in an instant. You couldn’t breathe. Your chest heaved heavily. Oncoming tears stung at your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. Not right now, you couldn’t let them see you like this. Let her see you like this.

“Y/n.” Seungcheol said softly, as if he was proceeding with caution. He grabbed your hand and you quickly snatch away. “Do not fucking touch me Cheol!” You warn him, backing away. He looked at you with regret in his eyes. He looks a mess. Shirt still opened and pants pulled back up but unbuttoned. You look past him to see Nayeon grabbing her things and quickly running out of his office. You stand there quiet, thinking of your next words.

Seungcheol walks slowly towards you with his hand out. “Please Naekkeo, here me out.” He says using your nickname. A nickname that once made you feel warm and loved. Now it just makes you feel cold and unwanted. “Don’t call me that!” You snap at him. “You don’t get to call me that.” You say, pushing your tears away. You sniff and look away. Fighting the water works that were welling up the more you looked at him.

“Why?” You ask, not fully sure you wanted to know the answer. “It didn’t mean anything, she’s a nobody.” You’ve heard that before. Everytime a guy says that a girl is just a nobody, most of the time, she’s a somebody. You look at him shaking your head. “You lied to me Seungcheol.” You look up hoping your blurred vision would go away. “I clearly see why you haven’t answered any of my texts.” You say biting your lip. He runs his fingers through his hair and moves to grab your hand again.

To no surprise, you pull away again. “Y/n I-.” He’s cut short by your outburst. “YOU LOOKED ME IN MY EYES AND LIED TO MY FUCKING FACE SEUNGCHEOL!” You yell. “Please” he says tears filling his eyes. Smack! Your hand stings as you hit him. You don’t know what came over you but you hit him. You were hurting. You felt betrayed, embarrassed, and above all broken. “I hate you,” you spat. He stood there tears now rolling down his face. You quickly turn and began walking out, not wanting to be there anymore. “Y/n” he says, grabbing you wrist. You turn to look him in his eyes. “Fuck you Seungcheol.” You snatch away and run out. Leaving him there alone.

————————————————————————————

My Cheollie🍒 11:45 pm: Y/n please

My Cheollie🍒 11:45 pm: Let me explain

My Cheollie🍒 11:46 pm: I love you so much, I would never do anything to purposely hurt you

My Cheollie🍒 11:47 pm: Talk to me

My Cheollie🍒 11:48 pm: Believe me she doesn’t mean anything to me

My Cheollie🍒 11:48 pm: You’re the only one I want to be with

My Cheollie🍒 11:49 pm: Please come home

My Cheollie🍒 11:49 pm: I need you baby please

You lay there in the bed staring at the messages that Seungcheol sent last night. You couldn’t bring yourself to reply to any of them. You spent the night at Seokmin’s place, not wanting to go home. He has a spare bedroom so he didn’t mind you coming to stay. You knew Cheol would be returning home that night and you didn’t want to be there once he arrived. You hated the way he made you feel. You hated the way he looked at you when you walked in his office. Why did he do it? You thought to yourself while staring at your lock screen. A picture of a painting you and Cheol painted together displayed brightly.

“How you feeling?” Dokyeom asks popping his head in the room breaking you out of your trance. You look up at him, wiping the tears you didn’t even realize started falling. He comes in and takes a seat on the bed, staring into your sad eyes. “I’m so sorry best.” He says holding his arms open, welcoming you into an embrace. You quickly sit up and fall into his warm body. He holds you tight, rubbing your back.

“What now?” You ask him through loud sobs. “We started a life together,” you start. “Just us and each other’s company.” You hug Dk tighter. I’m gonna have to completely start over. What will I tell my parents? “I have to start looking for my own place.” You say pulling away from him. He smiles softly and supportingly. “You can always stay here with me until you find one.” He replies. You force a smile out and chuckle slightly. “I love you Seokmin, thanks for always being there for me.” He pulls you into another hug and kisses your forehead. “I love you too y/n.” He says pulling away and standing up. “I’ll always be here for you.”

————————————————————————————

It’s been two weeks and you finally gather the courage to go back to Cheol’s house. You’re there to get the rest of your things and return your key. For the past few days, you’ve been visiting whenever he was at work and taking a few clothes and personals. It’s 6:30 pm and you would’ve come earlier but you were at a meeting with a landlord for a potential apartment across town. You knew he would be there but you weren’t ready to face him just yet. It’s now or never. Come on y/n we can do it. You mentally prep yourself.

You walk up to his door and unlock it with your key. It still works. Are you surprised though? Making your way inside, you notice how dark it is. An unwelcoming type of darkness. “Y/n?” You walk further in and turn the lights on in the living room seeing Seungcheol sitting in a lounge chair by the window. “I won’t be long.” You say quickly making your way upstairs. You hear him following behind you which you pay no mind to.

“Where are you going?” He asks sloppily. He’s been drinking. He stands there watching you grab several suitcases you stored in the hallway closet. You ignore him as you open them up and quickly begin packing your things away. “Y/n answer me.” You stand up instantly meeting eyes with him. “There’s nothing for me to say to you Seungcheol.” You take a deep breathe and push past him going to your vanity. You grab your jewelry, taking each out of their own spaces and tossing them in a small bag.

“You haven’t been returning any of the messages I’ve been leaving you. Y/n we didn’t speak in two weeks. Where have you been?” You feel your irritation raise and look up to glare at him. Why is he speaking as if he’s done nothing wrong? Like he didn’t fully cheat on you with his coworker. After telling you nothing was going on. “YOU CHEATED ON ME CHOI SEUNGCHEOL. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. YOU-” You cut yourself off feeling the frustration rise in you.

He stumbles back trying to catch himself. He grabs the side of the vanity, balancing himself. “I love you.” He says walking closer to you. It’s now that you finally get to analyze him. He’s wearing a black tank top and a pair of adidas pants. His hair has grown longer and falls messily over his face. You can smell the alcohol on his breathe. “You did this Seungcheol. Not me”.

You finally finish packing ignoring everything he’s had to say to you. Your bags are in your car and you’re gathering the remaining of your things. Walking into the bathroom to get your personal hygienic items, you can’t help but remember the last time you and Cheol showered together. You were happy, everything was ok. How could it all go so wrong in the span of a couple of months. You shake your head and wipe the single tear that fell down your face away.

You walk out to see Seungcheol now sitting on the bed holding a bottle of water in his hand. “Don’t leave me y/n.” He says sluggishly. You look away and make your way for the door, stopping briefly. You turn to take one more look at him. “I hope it was worth it”. You say staring at him. This time he doesn’t say anything. Just stares back at you. You turn back around heading towards the stairs. When you finally reach the door, you hear his voice. “Don’t walk out on us, please.” He begs from the top of the steps. You stand there. Memories you shared flooding your mind. You sigh deeply, sobs threatening to burst from your chest. You grab the doorknob and head out finally closing the door on the love of your life.

“I’m sorry.” Seungcheol says after you close the door.

What have I done?

#scoups x reader #seungcheol x reader #cheol x reader #seventeen #seventeen carat #seventeen x reader #seventeen x y/n #kim mingyu #kwon soonyoung #hoshi #dokyeom #dk #lee seokmin #choi seungcheol #scoups #carat #seventeen au #au #alternate universe

136 notes · View notes