#This scene will probably change/evolve by the time I reach this actual point in the fic

[skinwalkingxana]

That prompt list was indeed JUICY.

So, if you reblogged it to have some...

7. “You not giving a flying fuck about me is all I’m seeing right now.” 

For whomever fit best. :)

YESSS I'm always accepting prompts! Thank you for sending this in, have some Post-Therinfal arguments with Cullen and my MCiT Marisol! (Hope this is ok! ^_^) Here's the link to the promptlist this is from

“You not giving a flying fuck about me is all I’m seeing right now.” Despite the pain in her throat, Marisol’s voice carried enough that it echoed off the mountains around them. They were some ways away from the encampment, but there was no doubt their argument could be heard by the others now, even with how deep into the tree line they were. Cullen wanted to have this fight? Fine. She hoped everyone could hear them.

“This has nothing to do with y-!” Cullen started, his hand falling to the hilt of his sword at his side, but Marisol interrupted him before he could finish. “Doesn’t it? Otherwise you wouldn’t have pulled me aside to have this argument!” Marisol jutted her chin up, making sure he knew she wasn’t going to back down. “I told all of you back in Haven what was happening with the Templars and Mages! I even told Josephine not to bother with gathering the nobles- ” “You could have told us sooner! “ It was Cullen’s turn to interrupt her now, his eyes practically glowing from how intense his eyes bore into her. “ We could have marched to Therinfall weeks ago and saved them all before they began taking Red Lyrium! Could have saved Lord-Seeker Lucius before Envy took over!” Marisol wanted to vomit at the mention of Envy, but her blood was boiling so hot in her veins she felt she could have taken on ten of it and kept going. She wanted to punch Cullen. There was no way he could be this blind, not after everything he just saw! “Envy was already masquerading as the Lord-Seeker way back in Val Royeaux! That damage was already done long before I got here!” “You could have told us before we sent you! You knew what Envy was doing there! We could have-“ “Could have what? Exposed an Envy demon in the middle of a large populated market? Run up to whatever Templars we could find and tell them they were following a demon around? You were one of them, tell me how you think that would have gone down?” Her words finally landed, albeit more roughly than she had intended. He turned his face so quickly away from her, one would think Marisol actually had punched him. Their angry huffs blossomed into vapor as it warmed the air in front of them, though his had begun to slow as whatever fight Cullen had left drained out of him. His shoulders had begun to sag, but she was still fuming. Marisol shoulder checked him as she attempted to pass, not caring that he was larger and in heavier armor than her. Instead of moving out of her way, he reached a hand out and caught her by roughly by her wrist. “Wait I-“ “Cullen, I swear to my God and yours if you don’t let go of me right now, one of us isn’t walking out of these woods alive.” It was an empty threat, both of them knew it, but he at least had the decency to let her go.

[wrengrif]

Are we ready? It's Time...

For more GOOD OMENS WILD META.

I have been chewing on this one for awhile. Like, really ruminating on it. Probably because it's so far-reaching. For me, for others. It's a matter of the Journey From The Final Fifteen.

I will openly admit it, when I first came off the Final Fifteen, sometime in August/September (yeah, I was so worried about Season 2 I didn't watch it for a month after it came out and I realized I was right to do so.). I was, and still am, heartbroken. I was angry, despairing and wondering what the point of an ending like that was. I was angry at Neil Gaiman, I was angry at all the creators behind Good Omens. I was angry at Aziraphale, first, and then after about five minutes, I was angry at Crowley too.

Note, I was never mad at David Tennant or Michael Sheen. I respected their acting choices so much in the Final Fifteen. It was beautiful. It ripped my soul out through my chest. They are both brilliant. I know everyone has their favorite GO counterparts - they are mine.

Then a funny thing happened. A few weeks passed. I started fumbling around Good Omens Tumblr again. I'd been a big contributor during Detroit: Become Human (of which I am still a HUGE FAN, god I love that game.), and until Good Omens 2 came out, I was on the side of Good Omens fandom. Reading, mostly, but at the time I was very deep into my Wangxian fixation (haaaaah, I say, like I have ever left it. My dream AU is Aziraphale and Crowley in the Sunshot Campaign, causing trouble with Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian.). That changed after Final Fifteen. Now I was hurt, I was looking for comfort. I was looking for my fellow fans.

Clearly, I found you, you gorgeous bastards (saying nothing about your moms, unless you want me to). I started to read more meta, started having my own thoughts and carefully posting them. Reading fanfiction, and ... becoming less angry. Stepping back, to really look at the story. I was swallowing content like Aziraphale swallowed ox ribs. In the midst of this, I realized this wasn't The End of Good Omens, but merely the second part of a Trilogy. I'm a writer, I know what the second part of a trilogy is. It's where your heart breaks, it's the cliffhanger episode. I stopped being mad, and started loving the craft. I started to actually look at the scenes instead of just watching.

With that, I started to realize I had been missing so much. I realized I had been wrong, about a lot of things. My perspectives, and thoughts changed. Aziraphale wasn't at fault, he was a victim of the situation as much as Crowley was. Crowley left the bookshop, but he never left Aziraphale. He waited. He's still waiting. As more time passed, the more my thoughts evolved. Changed, formed anew, and I felt better for it. I decided to be hopeful about the whole thing. Yes, it was bad now, but there were enough signs and easter eggs to say this wasn't the ending we were going to get.

I healed, in short. I forgave. I'm waiting for our next chapter, because I know this story isn't done, not by a long shot. I'm waiting to see how our heroes will cope.

Rather like, I think, Aziraphale and Crowley will. The initial pain is going to fade, the anger, the feeling of rejection (whereas they will some day realize neither one of them were in fact, rejected.). The longing is going to kick in. They're going to miss one another more than they will ever be angry. There's going to be moments of grace, of forgiveness, partnered with sadness. What I think we forget, sometimes, is that Aziraphale and Crowley are 6000 years old. They've fought before. They'll fight again. With the fullness of time though, they'll come back to one another. They'll talk again.

Right now though, they've had time. Time to hopefully process (I really, really hope Aziraphale has had SOME time to process), time let the anger fade a little. Maybe not enough time - some of us here still need time - but enough to let them wonder ... is it really over? Maybe to realize, no. No it's not.

Time doesn't heal all wounds, but time does allow you to find equilibrium. I hope time will do the same for our angel and our demon. I know time helped me. I hope time will help us all.

[academyofbrokenhearts]

Of Nightmares and Late Night Encounters

Kaya has a nightmare and Suna wakes him up. The rest, as they say, is history. One-shot.

My brain came up with this scene late at night on Christmas Eve, when I was trying to fall asleep, and it (obviously) didn't leave me alone until I actually wrote the entire thing. As mentioned in the tags, I have no idea how KaySun will evolve in canon, so I don't know how (or if) what I wrote here will fit in with the show. But whatever. This fandom deserves nice things.

AO3 link here.

Suna had been a light sleeper for most of her life.

It was like her subconscious was finely tuned in to catch even the smallest sign of something not being right in her environment. As a child, she would always wake up and reach out to Seyran whenever her sister had nightmares, her touch and whispered words always more than enough to soothe her and return her to a calm sleep. If she couldn't protect Seyran from the regular horrors of the day, she could at least protect her from the horrors that were haunting her sleep - which, Suna suspected, were the same anyway.

She had kept the habit of waking up at least once per night as an adult, even after Seyran had married and left her proximity, never truly being able to enjoy an uninterrupted night of sleep, always on edge.

She had enjoyed a change in her sleeping pattern only since marrying Kaya. Having him around during the night was comfortable in a way she hadn't expected. Kaya was keeping to himself for the most part, and, outside of the moments when they were being intimate, was extra careful to not cross into her personal space, putting a respectful distance between the two of them. He was also an exceptionally calm sleeper, not moving much during the night; he would fall asleep on his belly, hugging a pillow, and Suna suspected that's how he would usually wake up as well, although, thanks to her newfound ability to sleep without interruption during the night, she hadn't yet had the chance to wake up before him to test her theory.

So when she unexpectedly wakes up during what appeared to initially be just another regular night, she knows something is amiss.

With her mind still slightly foggy, she looks next to her, at Kaya who's still asleep (on his back, she quickly takes note), and at first cannot quite believe her eyes, but sure enough, she has seen a similar picture many times before. Kaya's breath is accelerated, his fingers clutching the sheet, the pillow on the floor, away from his grasp, and yeah, all signs point out to him having a nightmare.

A heartbeat passes, and she's not quite sure what she should do - if she should do anything at all. But then a brief pained moan escapes his lips, so her need to soothe takes over, and she reaches out to him, touches his forehead gently with her palm.

He wakes up with a shudder, and Suna almost backs off, but his eyes quickly focus on her, and he catches her hand with his before she can completely withdraw it.

"Suna," he whispers.

"I'm sorry," Suna whispers back, not exactly knowing what to say. "It looked like you were having a nightmare."

He swallows once, twice. "Yeah, I think I was," he says, no longer looking at her. "Did I bother you?"

He looks uncomfortable, and Suna remembers his reaction the morning after he had fallen asleep crying in her arms. At the time, she had thought he was being distant to punish her, but looking at him now, she realises it was probably also because he didn't like showing his hidden vulnerability.

"Don't worry about that," she replies. "I'm a light sleeper normally."

His features relax a bit, and he turns on his side to look at her, his hand still on hers. "Sorry anyway," he says. "I don't know why, but I don't seem to sleep well on my back."

A pause, then he adds:

"But I didn't know you're a light sleeper. It's a bit surprising."

"I used to be a light sleeper, at least," Suna amends, and for a moment she thinks whether it's okay to share this with him or not, but they did promise to be honest with each other, and she doesn't see what harm it could bring. So she adds: "It seems like I sleep better with you around."

His gaze becomes pensive, and he studies her for a while, without saying a word, his hand moving slightly over hers in touches just as gentle as her own touch on his forehead earlier. Suna feels her cheeks reddening slightly, but holds his gaze, waiting.

He eventually speaks again:

"Suna, is it okay if I hold you for a while?"

And she doesn't know what pushes her to say it. Maybe it's the fact that it's late at night, maybe it's the constant gentleness he treats her with, his great care around her, the respect regarding her boundaries, the way he looks in semidarkness, eyes on her. Maybe all of those at once.

But she says it.

"You can do much more than hold me. If you want."

He doesn't say a thing, but, before she can even start to second guess herself, his lips are on hers, and his kiss is hot and heavy.

*

Even with all her lack of experience and general shyness in intimate situations, Suna doesn't think Kaya realised that she was technically a virgin during their first night together.

Because he took so much time, touching her intently, pausing to ask her whether it felt good, encouraging her initially timid touches as well, that by the time he entered her, she was so relaxed that it didn't hurt, and she never bled.

He never quite asked her what happened in her first marriage; he probably suspects she was assaulted, but never asked for any details, and that's something she's quietly grateful for. She doesn't think she can share with anyone the sort of humiliation she was made to endure. Not even with him; not yet, anyway. She doesn't know why, but she feels deep in her core that he wouldn't judge her.

She's not used to ask for what she wants; she was always in the background of her own life, never being able to oppose whatever bad things would happen to her at any given moment.

There's nothing bad about this, though, nothing bad about the way his arms hold her, nothing bad about his lips on her throat, nothing bad about his whisper in her ear "you can stop me if I become too rough", nothing bad about his hands on her bare skin.

He's indeed less gentle than the previous times they did it, his hands wandering around more freely, his touch a bit more insistent, his whispers more commanding: "tell me how to do it, tell me how you like it", words that would normally make her blush in any other situation, but not here, not with him.

She feels him deep inside of her, intensity building up to the point that she can barely hold herself together, and it's frightening, but also exhilarating. "Let go," he murmurs, "let go, let go, I won't be able to last long either", and that's what finally sends her over the edge.

*

When she returns from the bathroom, she expects to see him already clothed, as it usually happens after their intimate encounters. But he lays between the sheets in the same position he was when she left, and, as far as she can see, he's still naked.

She pauses for a bit, then, almost without realising, slips out of her robe and lets it fall to the ground before climbing back into bed.

He reacts immediately, moving towards her, hands touching her tenderly. "Is it okay like this? Sorry, I didn't really feel like moving, but I can-" and then he pauses, and she knows he realised she's also naked behind the sheets.

"It's okay," she smiles. "It's comfortable."

His head moves towards her shoulder, his body almost completely covering hers, and Suna holds him gently, her fingers playing with his hair. She feels him from head to toe, a pleasant warm weight on top of her.

It's beautiful. It's scary.

She thinks she knows what love is, but she doesn't quite know how to define this, whatever it is that's between them. She just knows she doesn't want it to end.

"Suna," she hears him speaking. "Will you hold me like this for a bit longer?"

And so she gives the only answer that wouldn't sound like a lie: "Always."

*

He's still asleep when she wakes up in the morning.

[pencil-peach]

G Witch Onscreen Text: Episode 12

And so, we have reached part 13 in my attempt to transcribe and discuss the text that appears on monitors and screens in G Witch (and talk about stuff I think is cool)

This is the Episode 12, the season 1 finale: "Keep Marching on Instead of Running Off."

<< Click Here to go back to Episode 11

Oh, but you'll have to change before you can join me under the cut.

You have to wear a normal spacesuit while reading this post...

Like episode 11, this episode is actually very light on text, (for obvious reasons..) so I'll also spend some more time discussing little things in the episode I think are interesting.

The text on the panel for the EV (Elevator) reads C BLOCK No. C - 6 The EV is arriving shortly.

It also has 3 symbols on the bottom, with one crossed out. It's hard to know what they mean, but my best guess is: - Communication (Which is currently unusable due to the attack) - Multi-Directional (As in, isn't a one way elevator, can go back and forth) - Capacity (In this case, multiple people can use it at once.)

Also, in this scene, Miorine talks about "opening the bulkhead from the control center." What she means is she wants to find the control center so she can open the giant wall that separated her and Suletta. The first thing that both girls thought of doing when they were separated was rescuing the other.

Also, also, the fact that C Block still has some semblance of power despite having been fully disconnected from the rest of the plant must mean that every individual block must have some sort of reserve power system in case something like this happens. I wonder how expensive this place was to build....

I really like the scene where we see Sophie activate Permet Score 4, because I think they put so much focus on it in order to put a lot of things we've seen earlier into perspective.

Up until now, we've only seen 3 characters (other than Eri but she doesn't count) activate Permet Score 4: Nadim in the prologue, El4n in episode 6, and now Sophie.

I think the first thing we can see when we compare these instances is how, broadly, Gundam Pilots have generally been made to become more resilient to Permet in the 21 years since Vanadis.

As far as we can tell, Nadim was probably one of the most skilled Gundam Pilots at Vanadis. (Other than Eri but she's like. cheating.)

Even acknowledging that he hadn't piloted a Gundam in some time (He says as much when he first activates Permet 3), he's still incredibly adept at controlling GUND Bits and nearly singlehandedly holds off the attack by Cathedra. (Thought Wendy's efforts must also definitely be acknowledged.)

When Wendy starts suffering from Permet exposure, Nadim tells her that she can't raise her score any higher

We never see or hear exactly which score she's at, but her Gundam is deactivated by the Antidote, which only works up to Score 3. So she's either at 2 - 3, and she's clearly suffering its effects harder than Nadim, who's also at 3 at this point.

But despite Nadim's clear adeptness at Piloting the Lfrith and his much stronger resilience to Permet, when he activates Score 4, he dies nigh instantly. He doesn't survive longer than a minute.

When Gundams had first been developed, Score 3 was considered the absolute limit, both in terms of what a human could bear and what Gundam tech could handle.

We can see this reflected on the Lfrith itself. When first launched, and up to Score 3, Lfrith's body appears completely normal.

But when he activates Score 4, its entire body glows bright red as opposed to just its GUND components. A sign that its bearing a load it can't handle.

And when Nadim finally dies, we can see its body is also horribly scarred with Permet Burns.

Sophie's Permet 4 scene is a showcase of how Gundam Tech has evolved in the 21 years since Vanadis.

When Sophie activates Permet 4, she's pushing up against the human limit. Her heart is pounding so fast and so hard we can hear it over the music. She says she can't breathe and might even throw up, and unlike El4n, she's not an Enhanced Person. She's entirely unaugmented, but unlike Nadim, she lives.

Gundam Pilots have become more resilient since Vanadis, but also of note is that they've also gotten younger. We don't know the ages of Nadim, Wendy, and Elnora, but they're all clearly adults. In fact, we only ever see Adults piloting Gundams in the prologue. When Prospera realizes Eri reached Layer 33, she's horrified, and I wouldn't be surprised in part because a child piloting a Gundam is just something that had never been done before.

But now, Gundams are piloted almost EXCLUSIVELY by young people. Younger people are raised and trained and experimented on at earlier and earlier ages because it seems that, for some reason, they are just better at being able to handle them.

The tech has also improved much since then. Whenever Lfrith Ur reaches score 4, that device on its shoulder unfurls and activates, and retracts when it goes back under. the Ur and Thorn were built off of the pre-production Lfrith models, and in order to get around its Score limitations, they just added an extra Permet Processing unit to its back to bear the extra load.

El4n is a special case, and his reaction to Score 4 in comparison to Nadim and Sophie stands as a testament to the effectiveness of Bel's Artificial Nervous System. At Score 4, El4n acts more like he's under the symptoms an unenhanced person would experience at Score 3.

All that suffering just to reduce the permet load by 1. How sad.

Anyway, the EMERGENCY EXIT Suletta uses is labaled as an EVACUATION PASSAGE.

It also has the same 3 symbols as on the elevator. If we try and apply the same labeling method as I used on the elevator, then.. -Communication (Offline) -Direction - One Way -Capacity - 1 person. The direction and Capacity make sense, but the communication is a little dubious? Maybe that symbol designates if it leads to an exit or something....

Normally, when Miorine refers to her dad, she calls him "Kusoyaji," which is a portmanteau of "Kuso" (a general swear word usually meaning 'damn' or 'shit'), and "oyaji" (which is a word for father) Calling him a terrible dad, but in this scene after he protects her and she sees that he's critically wounded, she shouts "Otou-san!" instead, which is a more common/respectful word to use for your father. This is localized into English as having Miorine usually call him a "Lousy Father," or something similar, but in this scene she just calls him "Dad"

We also learn a little more about Notrette in this scene, as when Delling tells Miorine to choose the best option of survival and leave him, he says it's what Notrette would do, and that they'd both decided at some point that if anything happened, one of them had to survive in order to raise her.

It's not much, but it seems that Notrette was a very logically minded person, who always looked toward the future in her decisions. I wouldn't doubt that Delling tried to save her, but left without her at her own insistence.

Sometimes I feel as though this scene is paralleling that incident in a way we can't know, and Miorine managing to save Delling here implies that if Delling had tried and not ran away, he could have saved Notrette. But that's just speculation on my part.

There's no real way to prove this, (other than the fact that their voices sound similar) but I've always believed that the closeup of this DOF member we see when they enter the plant is the same DOF member that Suletta kills at the end of the episode.

When Vim launches in the Dilanza Sol, he comments that he worked his way up the corporate ladder by "personally claiming his rivals' heads." It's most assuredly a figure of speech, but um, well.

Like father like son.

When Guel launches in the Desultor, he tries to communicate to the Dilanza Sol, but remember, the comms are jammed, so it returns an error.

After the deed has been done, the network begins reactivating, and we see NETWORK ONLINE appear on Guel's monitor.

This is our first sign that the DOF are starting to run out of time.

I think a lot about this scene. Maybe not in the way you're supposed to think about it though. I just can't shake this idea that Prospera intentionally waited for one of the soldiers to be right in front of Suletta before killing them. She and Godoy had been standing there the whole time, on both sides of the hall. Surely there were better times to have attacked them than when they were right in front of Suletta.

Maybe I'm not giving her enough credit but wouldn't it make sense? She needs Suletta to be okay with the idea of killing someone. Wouldn't seeing her mother do it in order to save her life be perfect for that? Prospera barely comforts her afterward either. She immediately explains to her that if she hadn't done it, Suletta might have been killed, and that fighting can save everyone.

And of course, it's obvious, but I just love the symbolism in this shot. It's so good. Suletta stepping out of the darkness and crossing the line, led by her mother's blinding light, onto the bloody path. It's so good. Such a good fucking scene. Grrggrhgrh

The music that plays during this fight between Suletta and Sophie is titled AERIAL REBUILD

If you haven't already, you should give it a listen. It's genuinely one of my favorite tracks in the entire OST, top 3 at least, and we don't hear much of it in this scene.

During their duel, Sophie calls Aerial REBUILD's face "scary" and says she "liked her better before."

Aerial is no longer pretending to be a machine made for silly school duels, that line has been crossed, and its true purpose is beginning to be revealed.

The truly terrifying thing about REBUILD's GUND Bit Cannon is that we never see it at full capacity. In fact, this one time we see it, it's at its WEAKEST strength. All mobile suits used in Asticassia have a regulation program installed that limits the energy output of their beam weapons. (With this restriction, all energy weapons only produce green colored beams.) Despite being off Asticassia for months now, Aerial NEVER had that program uninstalled, so its Beam Weapons are still at their lowest output. And, Despite That, the beam produced by this cannon is...

This Powerful. It's so powerful, that when Aerial uses it, you can see it have to activate its back thrusters to counteract the recoil.

It's SO powerful, that it completely melts the legs of a Desultor who just happened to GRAZE it ever so slightly.

Not to talk about future episodes here, but I actually cannot stress that it is genuinely a miracle that Miorine forcefully shut Aerial down in this moment in episode 17.

Because, and I mean this with zero exaggeration, Suletta would have ERASED GUEL and SPLIT THE SCHOOL IN HALF if she released the charge on this god damn canon.

Lord In Heaven, Prospera.

TEXT: SUBJECT: Business Correspondence FROM: Peil Technologies To: ELAN CERES HIGHEST PRIORITY

An attack has been made on Plant Quetta by the terrorist orginization 'Dawn of Fold' 2 unidentified MS using GUND FORMAT were confirmed. We will contact you later with further instructions.

This is the email 5lan receives from Peil after the DOF leave. They got that information quick, huh? I wonder how... We also see that he only ever receives Business Correspondence emails from Peil and Course Schedule updates from Asticassia in his inbox. He doesn't have any friends.

And with that, we have completed Ep 12, the entirety of Season 1! Wow...what a ride it has been thus far...

Thank you for coming on this journey with me...!

Whatever happens next, we'll face it together, won't we?

Episode 13. >>

Masterpost.

[amiya-shirou]

Top 5 best Seaborn (+ honorary mentions if you like)

Not sure if I should include hybrids like the Abyssal Hunters so I limited myself to those who went more into the "Seaborn" side. if I included them, Laurentina would probably be 1st or 2nd, I love that shark.

The Corrupting Heart

One of the reasons I got interested in Arknights in the first place. An eldritch horror incarnate bringing doom to all of humanity, and yet at the same time so alluring (not necessarily in a sexual sense though it's an easy connection to make with the whole "consumption" aspect of it, but specifically in the "I stared too long into the abyss and now I feel fascinated by the darkness" sense). When you see all the horror "Skadi" represents, when you know the dire conditions humanity is in, and yet "she" starts to sing such a sad and beautiful song, as if "she's inviting you to join "her" kin? It's unsettling in the best kind of way. It's the whole Bloodborne-like aspect of "the Eldritch horror is actually moved by kindness, curiosity and a yearning for connection, and yet it's no less of an horror for this" (and now that I wrote this the image of Skalter saying "Oh, Good Hunter" like The Doll won't leave my mind). It touches all my strings.

2. The Endspeaker

Cutest little creature. The Seaborn have such an interesting way to be so "endearing" with their innocence and curiosity, but the Endspeaker in particular goes so hard with it. We already talked a bit about this: I deeply loved Amaia's last scene, it was so kind and intimate, something that really shines when contrasted with the badass, creepy atmosphere of Stultifera Navis; a moment of connection so intense that even a Seaborn like Endspeaker was deeply affected by it and seeked to understand all that Amaia was, all the emotion and kindness she poured into It. That CG when it evolved and appeared in front of Laurentina was so good, too. Until that point the Seaborn had only evolved into bigger, more unsettling monsters, but the Endspeaker was the first to reach beauty.

3. Izumik

Admittedly I'm not too well versed in the IS3 storyline yet, I only just read the 3rd ending and Mizuki's files to answer this ask so I'm not sure how in deep I can go, but... wow, there's so much to elaborate here. It seems like the endpoint of what I was getting at with Endspeaker - such a beautiful evolution, a good end for the Seaborn plotline in which they seem to integrate the best parts of humanity and can aim for the stars. Many times I felt like the Seaborn worked quite well as an equivalent for climate change (among other things) so seeing the potential timeline in which we reach co-existence with them and they free Terra from Originium, deserts and disaster, bringing back the abundance of nature, was a strong moment.

4. The First to Talk

I don't have nearly as much to say here as I had for the top 3, especially since it did nothing that wasn't done better by the Endspeaker, but it has the privilege of being... well, the first to talk. It's always cool to me when a monster characterized by its' evolutionary ability reaches a point when it learns even speech, but what really sold the Seaborn to me was how there was actually no trace of evil intentions in its words, which is quite noticeable when comparing him with Quintus by his side who kept going on with his "evil mastermind" talks. It's especially good because the reason it evolved speech in the first place wasn't for utility reasons (Seaborn had no need for it) nor to trick humans, but entirely so it could communicate with Skadi and better understand how to save Ishar-Mla. And the revelation about how all this time the Seaborn weren't attacking Skadi because they wanted to kill her, but to free their kin they thought were trapped in her body? Most of the good things about the Seaborn plotline got their setup here.

5. Alfonso & Garcia

I'm not too sure about this inclusion since in the end they never gave up to their beastly side and died as humans, but they're visibly part-Seaborn and I needed a good 5th place. I'm not sure I have much to say about them since I spent most of my analyzing skills for the many other elements I loved in that event, but they were a weirdly good part of it, especially their interactions with Irene, and how they focus on the "humans turning into monsters" aspect which is what the Abyssal Hunters fear to become. Plus I do like the whole "fallen hero" aspect of Alfonso, and Garcia was indeed the best vice-captain ever.

Honorable Mentions:

The Last Knight: I'm not sure I quite get his deal yet?

Hyman: a Sarkaz turned Seaborn is metal as hell as a concept. I'm curious about how this plotline will go.

[dracowars]

LOVED YOUR TOM RIDDLE. Can I please request a arranged marriage au where yn is in love with him but he hates her so when she decides to let him go or someone else wants to marry her, Tom finally realises he’s in love with her. happ ending :))))

my heart belongs to you | tom riddle

pairing: tom x black!reader

word count: 3,3k

summary: where tom and y/n are in an arranged marriage

a/n: i'm so sorry for being so inactive recently, uni is taking its toll on me.. i had to do a bit of research for this one and also tom is a pureblood here!

warnings: toxic relationship, violence

universe: harry potter

“Get out of my sight, will you?”, he angrily snaps at you out of nowhere, for the third time already on this still very early day. Furiously, he stomps past you, pushing you to the side harshly, the filled glasses on your tray swaying dangerously. Knowing that you should just leave him alone, you stand there completely frozen at the door, still feeling the breeze on your skin after he stormed past you.

The glasses clink on the serving tray as you try to keep your trembling hands under control, but you terribly fail while tears shoot into your eyes. A lump forms in your throat and you gasp in desperation, losing your composure after hearing the front door slam shut.

Slowly, you slump down and therefore with a loud rattle let happen what could have been foreseen already: a thousand shattered pieces of glass scattered across the floor around you while you cower against the wall, your elegant dress pulled over your knees, your forehead leaning against it. Heavy sobs rock through your body and tears find their way down your cheeks, dripping from your chin onto the expensive fabric of your dress.

You just wanted to spend some time with him. Together, in the house of your parents, who went on a daily trip with their close friends early in the morning, all part of the most notorious popular pureblood families in the wizarding world – the Nott’s, the Macmillan’s, the Malfoy’s, the Lestrange’s. And if his parents were still alive, probably with the Riddle’s as well.

This is primarily the reason why you even are in this position right now; crying and huddled in the living room because your fiancé hates you profoundly.

After graduating from Hogwarts last year, the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you, descendant of the pureblood Black family, got engaged to Tom Marvolo Riddle, the last living heir of the Riddle’s. He would offer you a good future, they said, and you would never have to worry about anything again.

But nobody knows that in reality, your own beloved fiancé really does not want to have anything to do with you. He does not even want to stay in the same room as you.

You can’t explain why he acts like this towards you. You do not know why he harbors such an abysmal hatred for you and any clear-headed, rational person would have done something about it long ago. Unfortunately for you, you feel the exact opposite for him.

Your heart belongs to him and only to him.

You have liked him since you first met him at Hogwarts, back in 1938, when the two of you were sorted into the Slytherin house. This initial friendly liking has quickly evolved into something more than that over the years and lead you to where you are now, at a point where you would have never seen yourself back then.

You have already tried everything to convince him that you are not as bad as he seems to think. Every morning you bring him his breakfast, you give him everything he needs. Even when you were still at Hogwarts, you always looked after him, finished his homework for him when he was too busy to do it by himself, and helped him pass all of his exams.

And not once did you hear a thank you. Not then and not now either.

Slowly gathering your thoughts together again, you rub the long sleeves of your velvet dress over your damp face, wiping away all of your tears before you get up on shaky legs and begin to clean up the mess that you have created. After you went back to the kitchen with the broken pieces and some injuries on your hands, your gaze longingly slides out the window.

Outside, the sun stands high over the magnificent garden of the mansion, making the clear water in the fountain shimmer in its bright light. A gentle breeze blows through the air and rustles through the perfectly cut trees that line a small path through the garden.

The loud, excited voices that suddenly roar through the house snap you out of your daydream and you quickly wipe the blood from your fingers before you step into the huge marble entrance hall. You arrive at the front door just in time to open it for your parents, who, to your surprise, did not come back alone. You are amazed to find not too familiar faces in front of you as they climb up the stairs to the door where you are still standing.

“And that has to be Y/N. Oh, how you have grown!”, an older man smiles friendly at you and you return his smile with a certain uncertainty in your face.

“Darling, we brought guests over for dinner today. You surely remember the Lestranges?”, your father announces happily and only now do the faces that you have seen at numerous balls and celebrations seem familiar again. Especially one.

“Reinhard?”, you ask in amazement when you spot him standing behind his parents, a big smile on his face when he sees you.

“Y/N, how nice to see you again”, he grins, carefully pushing his way past your parents in order to slightly bow venerably to you, taking your hand in his to place a kiss on the back of it. “It has been some time.”

“I am sure you have a lot to tell each other”, your mother mentions in a sweet voice, but before she can continue, she watches how your facial expression changes from one second to the other as you look past them, out into the yard.

Next to the carriage with which they have returned, Tom is standing now, petting one of the splendid noble white horses before he joins all of you.

“Tom! There you are, I was already wondering where you went”, your father says, visibly pleased when he too spotted his future son-in-law, drawing everyone’s attention to him.

“Reinhard?”

“Tom?”

Within a few seconds, the two former best friends lay in each other’s arms, obviously happy to finally see the other again.

“Let us go inside. We want to show you our newest masterpiece of art in our wonderful collection, come on”, your mother announces happily and leads the Lestranges inside, but not without turning around to you once more. “The children can catch up on what they have missed.”

“I can’t believe it! You are really here, Tom. Man, you look even better than at Hogwarts”, Reinhard laughs, playfully pushing Tom to the side while you watch them in silence. “What are you doing here with the Blacks?”

“They kindly took me in”, Tom lies to him and for a moment you think he threw you a glance out of the corner of his eyes after uttering these words. His statement makes Reinhard realize that you were still there with them, who had apparently completely forgotten that you were even there.

“I am so happy to see you again, Y/N!”, he grins and takes a step closer to you, probably to be able to take a closer look at you. “Still just as beautiful as I imagined. And just as smart, I guess?”

Reinhard’s sudden compliments make you blush and your cheeks glow, which is why you nervously avert your gaze from him, directly falling on Tom, who looks at the scene in front of him with incredible resentment.

Unlike Tom, Reinhard was always there for you. You spent a lot of time together in your school days and if your parents had known about your close friendship, you are sure that he would have been your fiancé by now. Which, to be honest, does not sound bad anymore right now.

And yet your heart still belongs to Tom.

When you all sit together at dinner later in the evening, where your parents are talking about irrelevant things like Ministry of Magic, you keep making eye contact with Reinhard, who seems to be staring at you.

“Is there something on my face?”, you ask uncertainly and put your glass back on the table when you can no longer bear his piercing gaze.

“No, no, not at all. I was just wondering how a beautiful witch like you could have become so much more stunning”, Reinhard winks at you, causing you to swallow hard. You are not used to getting compliments, especially not from a handsome young man like him. Before you can answer to him, however, there is a loud clink and you startle, your eyes immediately fixed on the cause of the noise.

The glass, which you have certainly placed far away from the edge, is now lying in your lap, the little liquid that was still inside now spread over your elegant evening gown. You move your chair back in shock when, in the corner of your eye, you see how Tom puts away his wand. And not only did you notice Tom just now, but the rest of them follow your gaze.

“Tom, darling, how about you tell our guests how you and our daughter got to know each other”, your mother suddenly prompts him, not even realizing that he has just deliberately spilled your drink on you. But why did he in the first place?

„I would love to“, Tom puts on a really believable smile that no one but you questions and starts telling them how you met and fell in love with each other. He tells one lie after another, explaining the web of lies that you have spun around you over time to make your relationship as credible as possible, at least in front of other people. And suddenly nobody cares about you or your still soaking wet dress anymore.

“What a wonderful story”, Mrs. Lestrange applauds and everyone else seems to be completely enthusiastic about Tom’s fairytale. To top it off, he then reaches across the table to take your hand in his, just like a real affectionate couple would do.

You lower your gaze as he gently strokes the back of your hand with his thumb, trying your best to not show how uncomfortable you are. Oh, how much you wish that this were real, that Tom would actually treat you like this when you are alone, the same way as he does in front of your parents.

But he does not and deep down you know that he will never do.

“So, you are engaged?”, Reinhard scrutinizes the statement of his former best friend, his eyes focused on you suspiciously, as if he is expecting an answer from you and not from Tom. A slight pressure on your hand makes you flinch and look up.

“Y-Yes”, you force a smile onto your lips, whereupon Tom seems satisfied with your answer, letting go of your hand again with a - what seemed to you like a – disgusted expression on his face.

An uncomfortable silence spreads between the three of you, which is drowned out by the loud conversation of the adults on the other side of the table. Finally, making up your mind, you clear your throat loudly and get up from your chair, gaining everyone’s attention in a matter of seconds.

“Excuse me, I have to go freshen up for a moment”, you explain with a slight polite bow before turning away to leave the dining room.

“Reinhard, would you be so kind and help Y/N”, Mr. Lestrange asks his son, who stands up with furrowed brows, apparently just as surprised about this sudden request as you, but then follows you out into the hallway with no further objection.

“I really do not need any help, thank you”, you try to get rid of him as you walk up the large staircase leading to the first floor together, only wanting to be alone.

“Dinner like these are totally boring anyway”, he chuckles softly and shows no intentions of leaving your side any time soon, which is why you do not even try to search for further arguments. He follows you to your room where you are able to tear yourself away from him to put on a new dress while he waits outside in front of the door.

With an equally elegant burgundy red dress you step out of your room after a few minutes, Reinhard’s eyes greeting you with a sparkle.

“Wow”, he breathes out barely audible and takes you hand without asking to swirl you around, causing your dress to fly around gorgeously. Unintentionally, warmth rises in your face again and your hearts makes a barely noticeable jump inside your chest when he looks deep into your eyes after catching you back in his arms.

The loud clearing of a throat behind you makes you turn around in shock, only to see that Tom himself is now standing at the end of the corridor, not seeming very enthusiastic.

“We did not see you there, Tom”, Reinhard disguises his obvious nervousness with a laugh, acting like Tom had just caught you in doing something he should not have seen. Tom, however, does not even react to his words, but looks past Reinhard at you, his eyebrows raised meaningfully.

But when you do not move under his piercing gaze, his facial expression changes and he quickly approaches you, Reinhard instinctively pushing you behind him so that you can only see Tom approaching further over his shoulder. Before neither you nor Reinhard can say or do anything, Tom has already pulled out his wand and aims it directly at Reinhard, who flies back through the air only a few seconds later, hitting the hard marble floor at the end of the corridor with a thud.

“What the-?!”

“Come with me”, Tom orders, now standing directly in front of you. When you stubbornly refuse, he suddenly grabs your wrist to pull you away from there. No matter how much you fight against his firm grip, you cannot tear yourself away from him as he pulls you into the closest room, which turns out to be the library.

Once there, you can finally free yourself from his tight grip, but before you can reach for the doorknob to leave immediately, he locks the door with a spell. Angrily, you turn to him, despair written all over your stunning face.

“What is this supposed to be, Tom? Let me out of here, now!”, you command him in a loud voice, not caring if anybody can hear.

“What did he want from you?”, he asks you urgently and steps closer to you. Since the door is in your back, every possible escape route is blocked, and you are caught.

“We just talked to each other, you know. Like normal people do”, you answer irritably and cross your arms in front of your chest, not in the mood to justify yourself, especially not in front of someone who does not care about you at all and not after what he has done.

“But that did not look like it.”

“Tom, stop it.”

“You belong to me and nobody else!”

These words coming out of his mouth echo loudly through the dark library, his face wrapped in an eerie candlelight. Before you can even control yourself and fully process what he said, you severely slap him.

Frightened by your own horrible deed, you immediately pull your hand away, your gaze filled with fear, but the anger that keeps building up inside of you winning the upper hand after all.

“How dare you call me your property?!”, you scream in rage and tears form in your eyes because of your uncontrollable anger. However, Tom needs a moment to collect his thoughts after your heavy smack before he can answer you.

“You are my fiancé”, he spits out coldly, a touch of shock in his voice, apparently not expecting you to react like this.

“And that does not make me nowhere near your property! You never treat me like your fiancé anyway, so why now all of a sudden?!”, you bicker at him, your voice loud and constant, even though you would like to flee from this situation right away if you were able to.

But Tom does not have an answer.

“Fine, okay. If you have nothing to say to me, like you never have, then I will go back now and ask my parents to end this damn failed engagement and engage me with someone else who truly cares for me!”

Suddenly, without letting you time to catch your breath after your outburst, he presses you with your back against the door completely, his hands tightly grabbing your wrists, a little too tight for your personal liking.

“You mustn’t do that”, he softly whispers, his head lowered as if he does not dare to look you in the eyes.

“What is stopping me?”, you hiss, still full of anger and – probably for the very first time – hatred towards him.

But when you feel his lips on yours all of a sudden, all of these emotions evaporate and all that remains is your racing heartbeat, which is being repaired at this very moment. You never would have thought that at some point in your life the moment would come when Tom Marvolo Riddle, who absolutely loathes his fiancé, kisses you.

After kissing you, he looks straight into your eyes, and the Tom you met in 1938 is standing in front of you again. The Tom you fell so deeply in love with.

“I can’t explain it to you”, he finally breaks the silence, his gaze directed to the floor as he moves away from you, giving you enough space to breathe regularly again. You, however, do not say anything but just stare at him.

“I was not aware that I am capable of feeling such feelings for someone. I am unfamiliar with this feeling and I did not know how to deal with it, Y/N. I treated you badly because I did not want it to be true, I did not want to accept it. I could not imagine having feelings for the little nuisance that has always been running after me”, Tom explains, choosing each and every single word very carefully, trying to put his emotions into words which does not really work the way he would like it to. But that is how you know him. You know that this confession must be extremely difficult for him, but you can’t help but feel a sense of relief inside of you.

“When?”, you ask and manage, with this tiny little word, to make him look up at you. “When did you know?”

“Since I have been here. You served me every day and took care of me, even though I wanted to push you away from me with all of my might. You have already helped me so many times in the past without me even asking, you have always accepted me for who I am”, he desperately tries to but his feelings into words, asking himself what he is even doing right now.

“Tom..”

“No, I have to sincerely apologize to you. I had no right to treat you the way I did. And also today.. when I saw you with him and how well you got along, it finally became clear to me. Reinhard has felt something for you since our school days, I know that even though I could never understand, but now I do. I understand why he fell in love with you”, Tom continues without breathing, pouring out all of his feelings that he has hidden for so long.

“I understand if you want to dissolve this engagement and I will not stop you if that is what you want”, he quickly adds, looking at you with desperation in his eyes. He already prepares himself for the worst when you are the one getting closer to him this time.

“Idiot”, you smile slightly and place a gentle kiss on his lips while he looks at you puzzled. “I love you, I thought you knew that.”

“I know, but-“

“But nothing”, you interrupt him and take his hand to lead it to your fast pounding heart. “It always belonged to you.”

[elizabethemerald]

Spring in Nicodranas

Jester leaned over the prow of the ship as the Nein Heroes slowly pulled into port. A bright smile was permanently pulling at her lips. Nicodranas in the spring was always a welcome sight to behold. With one hand still holding a line while the wind whipped her skirts around her ankles, she wove her hand through the air, pink sigils hanging in the air for the sending spell. 

“Hey Caleb! It’s Jester, Fjord and I are back in Nicodranas for a few days. Could you pick up the others so we can watch momma sing?”

She felt like maybe she had gotten cut off there at some point but she wasn’t worried. Caleb knew what she meant. Sure enough only a few seconds later Caleb replied, a slight laugh in his voice. 

“Ja, Jester, We will meet you at the Chateau. Could you message Beauregard to ensure she’s home and decent? I don’t want to interrupt anything.”

Jester nods to herself as she preps another sending spell. One of the biggest problems of being able to teleport directly into the living rooms of the their friends is it sometimes had fun consequences. Well Caleb would probably consider it awkward at least. 

“Hi Beau! Caleb is coming by to pick you up, are you home? Are you naked? Oh! Are you and Yasha having super hot sex?”

“Hey Jessie, thanks for the warning. We’ll be dressed when Caleb gets here. Looking forward to seeing you again. Tell Fjord we’re working out tomorrow.”

She cackles to herself a little, Fjord is going to be so upset to have to work out again. He enjoyed their time at sea because he didn’t have do Beau’s super difficult work out routine. She had one last message to send, as her fingers danced through the air. 

“Heya Veth!! We’re meeting at the Chateau today, momma is singing. Bring Yeza and Luc and we’ll all have fun together. Oh my gosh, I saw the craziest seagull yesterday!”

“Sure thing Jester. We wouldn’t miss it. I have to pick up Luc from daycare and we’ll be there. Also you got cut off there.”

Jester smiled to herself and was about to send another message when she realized the Nine Heroes was moving alongside the dock. She jumped to get her hands on the ropes. Getting a ship this large properly docked took a lot of work and needed all hands. Including hers. 

When the ship was finally tied off and Orly had started to unload the cargo. Fjord pulled Jester aside, gently wiping her bangs out of her face. She was surprised to see he was wearing his fanciest captain’s outfit.

“Ah, Fjord! Look at you! Why are you dressing all fancy? We’re home, we can relax!”

“Well your mother is performing tonight. I feel silly showing up looking like a mess.” He said smoothly. 

“Ooh, should I dress up too? We can make it a fancy date night!” 

“That sounds like a great idea, you go get dressed, I’ll finish up here.” Fjord said. 

Jester dashed off to their cabin. She only rarely got a chance to wear her fanciest dresses, so it would be nice to get super dressed up. It took her a few minutes to find which dress she wanted to wear and to make herself as dolled up as possible. 

Soon enough she and Fjord were walking through the evening air of Nicodranas arm in arm. She had a wide smile on her face as they walked. 

Waiting outside the doors of the Chateau were the rest of the Mighty Nein. Jester was surprised that they were all dressed just as fancy as her and Fjord. Caleb was wearing his Xhorhasian jacket and a suit. Yasha was wearing her crushed velvet black dress. Beau of course looked as stunning as her fists in her gray suit. Essek and Caduceus had also dressed for the occasion and to her surprise, Kingsley was there! He had his own ship now and she rarely saw him. 

When the group stepped through the door they found Veth, Yeza and Luc sitting around a table. Jester cheered and hugged her friend, chattering happily with the Nein as they all settled down at the table. Food was ordered, drinks filled, and they all seemed ready for the performance to start. 

Jester looked around, normally her momma’s performances completely filled the seats, but now there were only a few people sitting around. As she looked around closer there were other things that seemed off to her. Why were all of the Nein dressed in their fanciest? Fjord was sweating, why was he so nervous? Some of the conversation seemed stilted, like the others were waiting for something. Even Sprinkle was acting differently, relaxing on the table top, watching her and Fjord. 

She was just about to ask about the strangeness when the music started up for her momma’s performance. Whatever was going on would have to wait until after. The other guests seemed to fade away as Marion stepped down the stairs, her voice already carrying through the air. 

Marion’s performance was breath taking as it ever was. She sang a new song, about a sailor and a princess and the adventures they got up to as they fell in love. Jester sighed dreamily, as the song ramped up to a crescendo. Then just as the sailor was going to propose to the princess, Marion stopped singing, her arm outstretched towards the table the Nein sat at. 

Jester looked around in confusion. The people in the crowd had all disappeared. And Caleb’s programmed illusion had changed to show scenes of the Mighty Nein in amber. Meeting up for the first time, saving each other, fighting side by side. Scene after scene of their adventures drifted through the air around her. Sprinkle sat and stared at her with twinkling eyes, a small barely visible green cloak wrapped around his shoulders. 

Fjord stood up, straightened his jacket, then knelt down in front of her. 

Her hands flew to face as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. 

“Jester Lavorre. I have loved you for so long. Would you do me the honor of making me the happiest man on land or sea. WIll you marry me?”

Jester gasped, tears sparkling in her eyes as she nodded as fast as she could. When Fjord stood up to put the ring that had been in the box on her finger, she wrapped her arms around his middle, lifting him up off his feet and spinning him around. She realized she was laughing and her smile was so wide her face was starting to hurt. She finally set him back down and let him slide the ring onto her finger. 

The rest of the Mighty Nein immediately started clapping and cheering. The illusion around them changed to miniature fireworks. A few actual fire works may have gone off thanks to Beau. Jester kissed Fjord, holding him tight as around her, her family cheered. Soon the kiss evolved into a group hug as one by one the rest of the Nein piled around them clapping their backs. 

Drinks were called for as they once again took their seats, Marion moving to join beside her daughter. Jester held Fjord’s hand for the rest of the night. Her heart felt full to the bursting. Love for Fjord. His love for her. Their love for their strange family. The love of the Mighty Nein for the two of them. Marion raised a toast to the pair. 

“To the future stories you two will share. May you find yourself surrounded by this love at the end of each adventure.”

[bleulone]

Can we talk about about how Colin looked in ep 1 when he first saw Marina compared to how he looked when he saw Pen in ep 8. Almost the exact same look! Of course his look to Penelope is probably more about his guilt because he brushed her off when she tried to warn him but still..progress! Lol and then when he's getting ready to leave for Greece, he glanced towards Penelope's home. I think they're having Colin's feelings for her grow gradually in the show instead of all of a sudden like in the books.

Hey! Thank you for this insightful ask of yours :) Sorry for the late answer, I took a long time to write this— without further ado, here we go!

Indeed, Polin is first and foremost a story of gazes, those gazes being of many natures. Whether they are love ones, friendly ones, admirative ones or lustful ones, looking imposes itself to be a huge parameter in Penelope and Colin’s love story.

In order to understand that on screen, film-making has at its disposal a very rich and smart langage of its own. Sometimes, comparision helps to underlines the differences between one character’s relationship with person A mirorring person B. I feel like Shondaland and Chris Van Dussen wanted to introduce the audience to the evolution of our Bridgerton men’s perception of Love. For instance, while Anthony views attachement— to Siena— as a way to escape his responsibilities before becoming his villain (...until our queen ma’am Kate Sheffield comes to the picture), Benedict doesn’t comprehend this universal concept and prefers to enjoy the many physical pleasures life can offer. In other words, the older brothers already explored their sexuality here and there, making them the infamous rakes that they are. As for Colin, it’s a complete other thing.

Colin is young. Very young. At 21, he’s just left Eton College and barely knows anything of the world nor women. Like Anthony said in 1x06, Colin hasn’t been taken to brothels which is a very important step in the building of young men’s sentimental and sexual education during that time period. Since he missed this essential step, our sweet/immature boy has no clue about how to deal sagaciously with his feelings and his “foolish” impulses, baring his naivety. At this point of the story, we can easily come to the conclusion that Colin is a virgin who can’t drive XD. He’s just a child overcame by his passions, a hopelessly romantic who rushes things without taking the time to properly court or know his significant other. And his off-screen flirtation with those supposed numerous girls in London isn’t of any help to justify his (oh so little) experience. So when he sees Marina, he’s so struck by her... mainly by her alluring appearance. And he doesn’t seem to let his eyes nor mind go beyond her exquisite beauty.

In this perspective, the whole Colin/Marina storyline can be perceived as a parallelism to the Pen/Colin’s one. In 1x01, he is immediatley smitten with a dancing Miss Thompson, which happens to be ironically the same case with a 17 year-old Pen but with him. We got to see her, a few moments ago, dreamily looking at him from the back of the dancefloor (echoeing the episode where she fell madly in love with him after he fell off his horse at Hyde Park). She’s charmed by his dashing look and his kindness, yet she doesn’t seem to know anything else about him considering the rare conversations they share. Her burning gaze fits the original story from Julia Quinn’s books because in Romancing Mister Bridgerton, the 28 year-old spinster Penelope do realize later on that Colin is more than a good looking man : he’s a human who possesses a temper and flaws.

Either way, both of our boos are portrayed as hopelessly young people in love who childishly idealize the objects of their affection.

In 1x08, it’s the other way around. It’s Colin who sees Pen first, her who appears to wear the yellow dress’ lookalike from the pilot—what an interesting call back ^^. With his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide open, we can catch sight of the timid spark of a change in his gaze : Colin Bridgerton notices Penelope Featherington. He‘s touched by the realization that she cares about him. It would be rather inappropriate of me to say that Colin is already in love with her. However, in the finale, I do believe that he’s more struck by her high level of deep care for him than her beauty.

We are thus able to spot two big differences in Colin’s relationship with women in this season : when his attraction to Marina was purely physical and rushed, his attraction with Penelope is more emotional and slow. And for now, he comes to cherish his special bond with her, especially after she tried to warn him of the dangerous trap he was about to fall into. Even if he just sees her as his younger sister’s best friend right now, Pen matters in his life. And it’s still a little yet important progress for sure.

Speaking of which, I agree with you that this look of awe as well as realization is mostly mixed up with guilt. Since he didn’t take into account her words, he felt the strong need to apologize. But bear in mind that guilt formulates a considerable part in Colin’s feelings for Pen... and it’s only the very beginning. In the future, he’ll blame himself for not seeing her as the beautiful goddess and siren that she is in the first place. He’ll blame himself for not reciprocating the feelings for her.... Though at the moment, due to his lack of experience with women, Colin is oblivious to Pen’s obvious signs of sorrow when he told her he’s leaving for Greece/Cyprus. Next time, he’ll detect her sadness and won’t let her go, I’m sure of it (if he doesn’t I’ll riot).

Furthermore, I’m so glad you brought up the scene where Colin glances at the Featherington house. I had the same thought as well. When you put this still and the one where Pen is crying while looking at her window side by side, it even seems like they’re looking at each other. In a way, it implicitly confirms Pen’s key role in his final decision... After all, she’s the one who inadvertently inspired him right ?

The act of traveling has always been seen as cathartic since leaving home to discover yourself allows you to heal your broken heart and soul. It’s natural for Colin to do this. To make his first real steps into the world. His choice is quite relatable more than it is essential for his arc in the series. I can’t wait for him to come back all changed, hot ^^ and mature. I think, like you said, they are planning on making him progressively falling in love with her. Colin’s feelings will gradually leave the platonic zone to explore and officially stay in the intimate zone throughout the seasons.

Overall, the Colin/Marina and Colin/Penelope parallel in s1 mostly helps viewers to compare the way Colin evolves from being a stubborn naive boy to a heartbroken young man who’s aware of his crutial need for Experience. His coming of age, just like Pen’s, has just begun. And they will surely lead to our boy changing himself into the true charming rake that he’s meant to be and our girl into a more confident woman. Consequently, I think their story won’t take 10 years but rather at the very least 5 years perhaps to fit the TV timeline. Once Polin will finally be able to discuss, we’ll hopefully get to see more interesting nuances and shades added to the portrait they painted of one another over the years. They’re indispensable to the slow build up of their emotions/attraction as well as the shattering of their childish idealization/perception of each other.

All in all, I’m so loving the fact that season 1 beautifully sets up the importance of the gaze in Polin’s love story. This first installment is like an expository scene of a play. It leaves a trail of clues and pieces of information here and there at the reach every viewers who can pick them up and analyze what can be the main themes which will determine one character’s story arc/romance. With Polin we have : admiration, wit, love and friendship, desillusionment. (I know they are more but it’s all I can think of rn lol).

If we’re already emotional messes just with the mere power of them looking at each other, imagine when they’ll actually talk and share real conversations. It’s going to be a long way to canon but luv me some good fluffy angsty steamy slow burn :) ✨ I hope this long of mine answers your ask ahah, even if I talked about many things other than just Polin’s looks. Also, sorry if you spot some grammatical mistakes, English is not my first language.

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 2)

And we're back with more exciting and mean Natsume! Here we will further explore Natsume's life and how absolutely dark his existence is, as well as some very important aspects of his personality that will be useful to us when NatsuMikan starts picking up speed.

Again, I am warning people that this whole essay in general talks heavily about topics like bullying, child abuse, suicidal ideation, and depression, so if those are triggering topics, it might be better for you to not read.

Previously, we were introduced to Natsume and he has sent Mikan on a dangerous quest to the Northern Woods. During that trip, she and her friends have captured his one and only best friend, Ruka, which will not bode well.

Chapter Five

Chapter Five is instrumental for completing Natsume’s introduction, long as it’s been. Natsume is a mysterious character, and he will continue to be evasive and strange for many chapters to come, but by the end of this chapter, we will understand some basic foundation for his character.

The chapter starts with Ruka’s point of view, recalling a moment when he saw Natsume cry, presumably after a mission. Ruka wonders why it’s only Natsume that has to go through “this”, and Natsume tells him that he can take it--for now. He says he wants to grow up and be an adult, to be big and strong enough to properly escape this hell. This is a consistent wish of Natsume’s, and in many ways his only wish: to grow up already.

Higuchi really out here trying to convince us this was supposed to be a cheerful story.

Natsume had to be an adult, had to make the selfless and responsible choices for the sake of his family and for Ruka, had to abandon play and smiles and laughter for a life of secret missions and frequent hospital trips. He’s dying and he wants to be an adult already because he’s certain he’ll never be able to grow up. He wants his body to match the level of responsibility he’s had to take on, but he can’t force the outside to match the inside, especially when he’ll probably be dead long before it happens anyway. This wish evolves and changes when he falls for Mikan, but it doesn’t go away.

He associates adulthood with control, because his life at the academy has been observing the adults control and use him. He wants control for once, to be able to make a choice and even just say no.

Ruka notes that Natsume hasn’t cried at all since that night, and that he now keeps all his sorrow locked away. This kid needs therapy, immediately. This is another reason that Ruka is so precious to Natsume. Ruka is compassionate and kind, so concerned about his friend that he would also shut away his own heart so that he can’t be happy for as long as Natsume is in agony.

Natsume has a scene of his own, where he snaps at Permy for saying that Mikan is full of crap and lying about being an alice. He points out that the academy is not an easy place to lie your way into, and Permy immediately backtracks and lies that she’s agreed with him this whole time. Like I’d said earlier about the loneliness involved in being surrounded by fans who don’t really know or understand you, having people all around you bend over backwards for your approval makes it clear that they really have no interest in what you’re saying, just that you’re the one saying it.

In the anime essay, I’d pointed out that because of their admiration for him, it would elude people that Natsume is in fact lonely. He speaks out against things and people rush to agree, not really considering why he might say that. This is a similar moment, though he doesn’t seem too bothered by Permy’s behavior. It’s still concerning, but it’s interesting to compare this “yes, man” attitude to Ruka’s.

There is obviously a difference between someone agreeing with every word of your mouth no matter how much it changes and contradicts, bending over backwards for your approval, and someone wanting to match you out of compassion, but Ruka’s line of thinking does still have some major flaws.

Ruka is a child, just like the rest of them, so even though this behavior is motivated by love and compassion, it’s still immature and raises some questions.

“If you won’t smile, I won’t smile either,” is a sweet line, but now Natsume is aware that Ruka’s misery is his fault. If he wasn’t so sad, Ruka could be happy. This doesn’t make Natsume happy; it just makes them both sad, and that doesn’t solve any problems. Naturally, Natsume would never say that, and Ruka would claim he’s unbothered and--just like Natsume--that he doesn’t care about hanging out with the others, but they’re both miserable now, and I think this is part of the reason why there’s a gap between them at the start of the manga, and why they’re a bit distant, despite being best friends.

They’re each other’s most important person, but they don’t really communicate that well, and Ruka constantly feels like a burden.

Natsume needs something that Ruka can’t give him, and that something is what he’ll eventually get from Mikan.

That being said, at the moment, Natsume is getting nothing but irritation from Mikan. When he finds out Mikan and her gang kidnapped Ruka, that irritation turns into rage and we see a final fundamental building block for Natsume’s character: his berserk button.

Natsume doesn’t care about the reasoning or justification for the kidnapping. He doesn’t care about explanations or common sense.

His rage only increases when he discovers Ruka was tied up and even beaten (he is told this by a classmate, when Ruka is actually unharmed). The other kids in Class B--his admirers--are terrified to see how scary Natsume is when he’s furious.

Natsume's biggest weakness is Ruka so Mikan is kinda fucked.

He doesn’t care about the game anymore. He only cares about Ruka.

So he goes to the Northern Woods, where nobody is expecting him. He tells Mikan to leave the school, which… she cannot do, obviously. He is overtaken by rage and he ceases to be reasonable.

He uses his alice on everyone but Ruka, and is about to use it on Mikan, but her alice nullifies it. Then Narumi kisses him, prompting him to pass out.

Here, we are introduced to a consistent character trait of Natsume’s, one that may contradict all that talk about forced maturity and selflessness. In fact, Natsume’s habit to go absolutely postal on anyone who threatens a loved one is a contradictory one. Going into a rage requires the sacrifice of common sense and reason for the sake of complete emotional detonation, and as a result he fails to understand that his actions could inadvertently hurt his loved ones or innocent bystanders. No reassuring words are enough to calm him down, and sure enough Natsume will destroy something.

It’s important that we see this trait now, as part of Natsume’s informal introduction, as we will see plenty more instances of it later on. In a way, going berserk for someone can even be a love language of his, where if a person being threatened is enough to set him off, he probably cares about them.

And just as interesting as seeing what he does in these situations is posing the why! Why is it that Natsume goes ballistic in these situations, when it requires the loss of the one thing he wishes he had more of, control? My guess is that Natsume has had a rough childhood and much of that time was spent running away from a dangerous entity. Staying cool and calculated under some conditions would have its benefits, but so would the quick-action and confidence that Natsume would gain by going berserk. When you have to protect someone, and Natsume has been in that situation many times, then it’s sometimes even beneficial to be able to lose yourself for a moment or two. But perhaps it’s not that either. Natsume is, despite all his airs of coldness and mystery, actually a very emotional person, and in that way he is easy to understand. Even if this isn’t a habit he developed by watching his loved ones ripped away from him through either extortion, manipulation, or just plain murder, it’s still something he might be predisposed to: attacking with everything he has despite not having a clear plan or even any real thought.

Chapter Six

We pick up where we left off and Natsume wakes up grumpy after everyone seeing him under the effects of Narumi’s pheromone alice. He causes more destruction, still in somewhat of a rage, and even causes Narumi a head wound though his teacher seems unbothered by this (or maybe even used to it, who can say).

The next thing that happens is that an alarm rings, signaling that Natsume is due for severe punishment, and, as Naru points out, not something he can help with this time. Narumi warns him to get a move on before a mystery enemy (Persona) arrives, and that is enough to scare Natsume into getting out of there. But not before he issues a word of warning of his own to Mikan, that she will regret coming to Alice Academy of her own free will.

Isn't it interesting how her optimism, something he hated so much about her from the start, ends up being something he loves about her?

I have very many thoughts about this warning. It might even seem like a threat, as if Natsume will go out of his way to make sure she regrets her decision, but he does no such thing. He is convinced that Mikan doesn’t need help reaching that conclusion--she will realize it on her own because the school is simply that terrible.

It makes a little bit of sense to view Natsume’s hatred of Mikan this way: Mikan skipped right into his own personal hell with a smile on her face and a bubbly attitude. Meanwhile, he fought and kicked and screamed right until the very end when he was forced into attending the academy. And Mikan is not some normal girl who might be able to live a quiet and pleasant life in the academy. She’s already been marked, what with all the games about her enrollment, and that might anger Natsume even more: she’s really naive enough to walk into a place that’s not just hell to him, but inevitably to her too. Because of this, Natsume hates her and is predisposed to hate her more the more cheerful and optimistic she is.

And, unlike in the anime, this hatred takes much longer to go away.

Anyway, we see Natsume again later in class, when he shows up late after having just been terribly abused as punishment for his actions in the Northern Woods.

In the anime, Natsume catches Mikan insulting him while wearing the punishment mask, and although he’s covered in scratches and the kids are whispering about his bad mood, there’s not much else to it. He doesn’t seem any more unpleasant than he’s been this whole time.

There's nothing funny about this but I will put here as a warning that anybody who jokes that kids should be hit will be hit by me!

In the manga, Natsume is so weak that he can hardly stand. It’s not just scratches, but blood and gashes on his wrists and legs. The mask is not only used to mark him, it’s also used to punish, by physically abusing him when Persona has better things to do.

He makes his way to his seat, but Narumi is on the way, just enough to make a quippy comment.

(I wonder sometimes about Narumi establishing himself as untrustworthy to the children, particularly Natsume, and how exactly that’s supposed to be a help to the student body at large. I mean there’s the possibility that Mikan is special, and her being Yuka’s daughter helped Narumi remember what he became a teacher for. In that case, it might make sense that Narumi, being so jaded and bitter, might be content acting as a villain to the abused children of the academy, and especially to Natsume, but I can’t help but feel that’s not the case. I don’t want to think that Narumi was willingly complicit and even amused by Natsume’s abuse. It’s difficult to tell for sure, though, because Narumi is way more mysterious than Natsume tries to be.)

Sumire tries to kiss up, whining to Natsume about how everyone is suddenly acting so nice to the new girl, until Natsume forcefully kicks her desk to shut her up. He only holds back with Ruka, who he would never lash out at.

Narumi then announces that Mikan shall have a partner, and that her partner will be Natsume. It’s funny because although Hotaru made it clear she didn’t want the job, Iinchou was willing to volunteer, but Narumi ignores that because he always wanted Natsume to be her partner. At this news, everyone is shocked, wondering if Mikan is supposed to be special, seeing as she’s paired up with Natsume of all people.

Narumi smiles to himself despite the chaos and then lets himself leave the classroom, saying, “let’s see what happens.”

Why does he partner them up?

Mikan thinks Narumi is crazy for this, and from an outside perspective it certainly might seem that way.

Natsume’s theory, as becomes clear later during the exams, is that this was organized by the ESP and Persona, perhaps as a punishment, but definitely with ulterior motives. He is closer to nailing it, but a little off. There is no way in hell the ESP would want to partner the child of rabble-rousers with the school’s pet child soldier. That’s a recipe for disaster. Knowing that the ESP was excited to welcome Mikan because of her alice, and that her presence at the school might encourage Yuka to try and save her, he wouldn’t have wanted to disturb his own plans.

So what is the reason?

It’s all Narumi, of course. Perhaps the O.G. shipper, Narumi could tell right away that Mikan’s nullification would be useful, particularly in regards to Natsume. Pairing them up is just another means to an end, as Narumi actually wants the kids to raise some trouble.

Chapter Seven

Being partners with Natsume is quite unhelpful.

Mikan ends up a No-Star and her Special-Star partner is for the most part absent throughout her ordeals, having to cope with it all on her own.

Chapter Seven is mainly lacking Natsume. He functions to not function for most of it, that is to establish himself as being a terrible partner.

There is a moment that stands out, when Mikan is writing a letter to her grandpa, where Natsume appears. Yes, he appears in her head to taunt her about her regret coming to the school, and she spites him by committing to optimism and determination in the future. But he also has a short appearance paralleling a panel of Mikan: they are both in their beds, awake.

WHAT WAS THE REASON?????!??!?!?

This parallel is interesting, their panels right next to each other. She is thinking about her grandpa, and we have no way of knowing what Natsume is thinking about, but there has to be a reason for him to appear despite having been mostly absent so far in the chapter.

To me, it’s another narrative tool to pair them together. They have been so far, in more ways than one, and will continue to be as they fall in love, and this is just another example of how they’d been fated from the start. Even when they hate each other, and even when they aren’t thinking of each other, they’re still tied. Looking at those panels, and seeing Natsume despite his relative irrelevance to the plot, seems to be a message that there’s more to come between them. I don’t know if any of what I’m saying makes sense, or if it seems silly, but there’s very little analysis I can do without just talking about potential.

Later, with Mikan in a new mood, ready to make the most of her situation, the kids are talking about her resilience with both her no-star status and having Natsume as a partner.

Ruka does the talking for Natsume, warning Mikan that she’s being watched and remarking that nobody should have been assigned a no-star for simply disturbing class.

Once again, Mikan and Natsume are paired: they are both treated unfairly, with Mikan given a no-star status she doesn’t deserve, and Natsume given a special-star status despite the fact that he doesn’t even go to class most of the time. They’re the exceptions to the rule, and the reader is made to wonder what exactly it is that they have in common that would result in this treatment.

Ruka tells Mikan not to trust any teachers at the academy, not even Naru, and this is almost like hearing from Natsume himself. Unlike Mikan, who will happily make strong bonds with teachers like Narumi and Nodacchi, Natsume has absolutely no positive adult figures in his life. His father is far away, his mother is dead, and every teacher is someone he holds either directly or indirectly responsible for his suffering. The adults at the school have failed him and he has nobody to trust. Something Natsume needs is a positive role model, somebody he can look up to and have faith in, because as it stands he’s a traumatized boy who absorbs negativity and takes it out in bad ways. A trustworthy adult would very much help Natsume grow and learn better coping skills, and in the meantime it makes perfect sense that he would act out and even be a bully at times.

Chapter Eight

Natsume has a habit of ignoring any and all episodes where Mikan has confrontations with her teachers. He is either dozing off or listening to music with Ruka, and doesn’t seem particularly interested in even watching.

That being said, we see a new side to Natsume in this chapter, a new emotion in a way we haven’t before: fear.

Natsume ditches class with regularity. He does not care about being present. For most classes, he would simply walk out and go screw around somewhere else, but with the dangerous ability class, he doesn’t have that choice.

The other teachers may be complicit, but they won’t do the abuse themselves. Persona is not above that, as we have already noticed despite never even seeing him so far.

If Natsume does not want to attend the dangerous ability class, then he has to run for it, and in this chapter he does, like his life depends on it, because his safety sure does. He’s only ten years old and forced to do horrible missions for the school. This is one of the scenes that reminds me that he is just a child. He knows he could get punished for running, but he does it anyway. Maybe, if he runs fast enough, they won’t catch him. Maybe, if he doesn’t get caught, he doesn’t have to go on a mission. Maybe, just this once, they won’t mind if he doesn’t show. It’s such a childish and desperate thing to do, to avoid pain at the cost of more pain to come.

Natsume is scary when he's scared...

It’s funny that as he is running from pain, he runs into Mikan, who will later alleviate his pain. For now, he just shuts her up so that Persona can pass the area while looking for him. We see Persona for the first time, what Natsume is scared of more than anything, and although his fear seems obvious, Mikan is preoccupied by annoyance for being shut up like that.

They bicker--or she bickers at him, mostly--until the middle schoolers encounter them and start bullying them.

Natsume is ready to ignore them and walk away, until Sumire’s brother calls him a murderer, reminding us of the rumor Hotaru and Iinchou discussed. Natsume stops, and Sumire’s brother whines that he’s just a special star because he’s “Persona’s favorite”.

Sumire and her brother have, like, nothing in common other than curly hair, huh.

Being Persona’s favorite is no privilege, as we know now from the run-in we just had with him and Natsume’s fear. This sets Natsume off and he starts some fires. When they threaten to call Persona, who Natsume was just running from, he responds that they can call him all they want, but he’ll burn them before he can get there to capture him. We see once again, through Natsume standing up for himself, that his berserk button lacks reason (as he is willing to sacrifice punishment by Persona again).

In a last-ditch attempt to threaten him, the middle schoolers threaten Mikan, who they perceive to be Natsume’s new girlfriend. (Calling her his girlfriend is interesting because it is even more proof that they are being narratively paired together! It shouldn’t be a surprise at all that they eventually get together, when almost everybody around them pairs them up like this, even when they can’t stand each other.) They do not expect that Natsume actually hates her, and genuinely doesn’t care if she gets bullied or not. He smiles in twisted amusement at this turn of events and walks away for good this time, leaving Mikan to be bullied.

Aw, he's smiling! How sweet.... oh wait that's a skull.

Now, Natsume is a good person deep inside, somebody who is selfless and kind in secret ways. There is no secret kindness about this scene. He is not a nice person, for sure, and this scene is proof of it.

Natsume is used to sacrificing himself for the comfort and well-being of his loved ones, so there might be relief in not caring about the comfort or well-being of somebody, and being able to choose his own well-being before that of somebody else for once. It makes sense that he would be so amused, because this time nobody has anything to hold over his head.

Conclusion

We have seen some more of the abuse Natsume faces on a daily basis. He and Mikan have been partnered up and they are presented narratively as foils and as pairs even outside of that dynamic.

For the next part, we'll see even more examples of them being paired together, as well as how Natsume is isolated from his classmates.

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[jerepars]

Back again lol. Even though the writing just hasn’t been the best this season, I’m not really that mad about the way they’ve portrayed Jeresa. Just looking at this logically, I feel that they gave us 5x02 as our Jeresa episode early on and there really was a lot of sweet moments. Now, inevitably we had to have angst in between. But it’s been constantly cemented that James is in love with Teresa, and strongly implied that she loves him too. They can’t just build that up and leave it unresolved. Plus, with TV shows in general, a couple being together early on in the series just leaves it open for unnecessary conflict and the ship just loses its intrigue. If they give us the Jeresa ending we’re hoping for then it makes sense to have not got them together any episode earlier than the final 2. And despite everything, I think the writers have been a hell of a lot better than others in keeping their ship alive and not causing a irredeemable issue between them. I probably shouldn’t defend them before seeing the next two episodes, but I am hopeful. All that being said, there most definitely should have been more scenes and dialogue between them. We should’ve had a Tony moment between them (I’m so mad about this, especially since the writers acted like it was such a pivotal part of the season and then only showed Pote’s ‘grief’). I’m very sorry for rambling, just wanted to hear your take.

Oh, yes hello, back again, I see. Your ask made me sigh because I think it opens me up to be honest and critical of this season’s writing, and that kind of opinion may not always be favored around here, and also because it requires a response of essay length. But I’ll do it for you, anon, I will. Okay. So you want my take on the portrayal of Jeresa in season 5. Here we go. After the jump:

Let me preempt this by saying the show isn’t too serious (try and tell me this is still a serious show after the kerfuffle that season 5 has been), so you shouldn’t take this too seriously either. I have an opinion but I’m just…me. I encourage everyone to stick to their guns about what they feel about QOTS; what you like about it, what you love about it, what gets you excited, what you think has been done well, what is worthy of praise, etc. etc. etc. I go in pretty hard on the show in the next several (LOL, yes, really) paragraphs. But I am in no way the ultimate authority on all things QOTS.

I don’t think Jeresa would have unnecessary conflict and I don’t think the good ship Jeresa would lose its intrigue. In lieu of conflict, we’ve gotten…*crickets* nothing. No conversations of real value, no meaningful exchange of ideas, no arguments, nothing. If anything, the conflict between Teresa and James that is necessary had been absent. In seasons 1-3, there were always disagreements between Teresa and James. There was never a point reached where it created too much conflict, or unnecessary conflict. It created tension, which is like the very essence of Jeresa, and it showed the dynamic they have that made so many of us fall hard for Jeresa as our ship, as our OTP. I don’t think making them a couple or having them together early on in the season would create unnecessary conflict. I think it could’ve created different conflict than what we’ve seen before, and wouldn’t that be a beautiful thing, to have seen them evolve and deal with each other in ways we haven’t seen before?

So, related to what I said about different conflict, as far as intrigue goes…I don’t think presenting Jeresa as a couple or in a relationship would ever make them flat or boring. When I think back to season 3, when we got Jeresa in 3x05 and 3x09, I wish we’d been offered the chance to see them succeed and see what happened with them if they tried. Like I said, it’d be a different kind of conflict, a different kind of challenge for them to face and have to face together. That sounds so opposite of lacking intrigue to me, anon. That’s a side of Jeresa I would have loved to see.

You’ve pointed out that, in general, on TV shows, getting a couple together too early usually means doom and gloom and failure for them. One of my favorite shows ever was Veronica Mars, the first two seasons especially. When the showrunner, Rob Thomas, has talked about the first kiss Logan and Veronica have, he refers to it as being earned. For QOTS, and for Jeresa, I really felt that when they shared their first kiss in 3x05. It took so much and they went through so much to get to that moment. It was earned. So, with that idea—of the earned kiss, of the earned get together, of the earned relationship—in mind, to me, there is no point in season 5 that would have been too early for Jeresa.

Talking about TV shows and how they usually go in general leads me to my next point: as a viewer, is that what I want and is that what I should expect, to be given more of what’s typical? Maybe the writers and critics and people much smarter than me will tell me it’s my fault, I’m the fool, for wanting to critically engage in media that’s not meant to be consumed that way. Maybe I’m just supposed to accept and enjoy and be happy with what I’m given. No one claimed this wasn’t going to be typical. So okay. It’s on me. It’s my bad. But here’s the thing. If I’m supposed to accept and enjoy and love this as it is…well, give me something to love. I’m not asking for a revolution or anything life-changing here, just something I can appreciate (and this season, in my opinion, has really lacked things that I can hold on to and appreciate). So as for typical TV…I’m not down with merely accepting that because things usually go a certain way, that’s how they always have to go.

Why do Jeresa have to fail if they got together earlier in the season? Why is it so out of the realm of possibility that they might succeed together? Are they so emotionally stunted, do they lack so much compassion and understanding of each other that it would be impossible for them to listen and move forward together? What if they could discuss their issues, tell each other how they feel, stop hiding, and try? Who says there wouldn’t be angst and tension between them as they try to work through their issues? What if they’re actually supposed to be together and it would make them stronger—individually and as a couple?

Now, forget everything I just said. LOL. Let’s say we have to go by TV in general and typical TV rules. Let’s assume if Jeresa got together early on, then we’d see them struggle and fall apart and break up. Fine. Okay.

Here’s how Jeresa could have played out after the first two episodes:

5x03 banging honeymoon phase, probably

5x04 arguments and frustration with each other as T embraces being the white queen

5x05 J finds out about T’s coke usage and has to walk away from the relationship because he can’t stand to be complicit and stand idly by while she destroys herself

5x06 classic Jeresa angst and tension

5x07 KG’s death leads to T’s breaking point and J is there to support her

5x08 honesty hour, where it’s made clear that these two mean so much to one another and they’re running out of time to let each other know that, so they tell each other

5x09 one last united mission + they hatch the plan to get out and be free + a farewell with the promise and intent to see each other in another life

5x10 reunion in another life

Are these all headcanons? Of course they’re headcanons. Of course I would never expect the show to go exactly how I thought it would or with my own ideas. My point is that if they would’ve gotten together early on and we’d been given a glimpse of what that would be like, even if they failed, it doesn’t mean it would’ve been impossible for them to ever find themselves together again before season’s end.

“There’s not enough time,” the writers said. “It’s an action packed season,” the writers said. Okay. Why? There was enough time to spend on backstory of minor insignificant characters. There was enough time to introduce characters, tell us a bit about them, only to see them dead by the end of the episode. There was enough time to focus on Kote’s story, over multiple episodes, with not just a baby plot but a kidnapping one as well. So why? Why was there no time for Jeresa? Forget about them getting together and kissing and sex. If that was what it was (and it was) they wanted us to not have, then fine. Some of my favorite Jeresa moments were in the first two seasons, when Jeresa getting together was very much not a thing, when tension was high. So if it was just the portrayal of them not being together, if we still got the scenes of tension and them having no choice but to communicate, that would be completely fine. Like I said, I know I’m never going to get exactly what I want, my headcanons are mine, so that’s okay. Oh. But…no. Oh no. There was not even enough time for Jeresa to have more than short, throwaway, blink-and-you’ll-miss it conversations? Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s a Teresa-centric season,” Dailyn claimed. Like I’ve said before, James is a big part of Teresa’s journey and story. If you’re going to have a Teresa-centric season, it’s hard to accomplish that without shedding more light on James and Jeresa. This isn’t a Teresa-centric season. This has become the Kote show. Teresa is the main character but her journey has been pushed aside, diminished, and downplayed in order to make way for Kote ultrasounds and Pote grunting and Kelly Anne thinking “positive” and hopeful that Marcel will come to a party at the safe house. Instead of getting conversations that would offer insight into Teresa’s relationships with those in her family, we got an extended deep dive into the most chemistry-lacking relationship we’ve ever seen on the show. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“It’s Queen of the South, not Jeresa of the South,” the writers will insist. If by that they mean it’s Kote of the South. Imagine for a second that it actually was a Teresa-centric season but they were adamant about keeping James in this minor capacity. Okay. It would still be different than it is now because we’d be in tune with Teresa. We would’ve gotten a glimpse into her thought process. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about a strong woman? I can even extend that question to Kelly Anne. Was this not, at some point, meant to be a story about strong women? Then why do we keep seeing them make asinine decisions? Why are their most extreme actions in reaction to what the men have done?

Moreover, if this show is about the people in the cartel, in Teresa’s inner circle, rather than just the Kote side plot becoming the main plot, there’s no way this is the James we would be getting. James, our beloved reluctant assassin…who we know nothing about. He can’t even get a backstory on a show on which he is supposedly one of the main characters. Five minutes—five seconds—couldn’t even be spared on James and how he came to be who he is, how he got where he is. But Isidro Navarro? By all means, I need to hear his life story. Who’s Isidro Navarro, you ask? Right. Exactly. Apparently we don’t deserve backstory and explanation and conversation and introspection from our protagonists. But a character who is there for ten minutes or less on a single episode and will never be heard from again in any significant manner? Of course he needs his screen time. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

“This is not a romance show,” the makers of season 5 said. Honestly? Fuck that noise. Fuck that sentiment. Fuck that ignorance. When has Jeresa ever been about romance? Where do the people who make this show get off saying something like that as if we are so stupid we don’t know that? A romance story and a love story are not the same thing. Jeresa is love. God forbid Jeresa ever experience love within a successful relationship. God forbid Teresa and James ever become mature enough to use love as strength rather than weakness. But pile on all the Kote. Focus on them and emphasize how Teresa and James can barely even look at each other. Well. It’s the writers’ decision. They wanted it that way.

So now here we are, on the cusp of 5x09. We got a spoiler in the last promo trailer. We know, after 7 episodes since their last conversation that actually meant something, after the writers missed the mark and didn’t have Jeresa interact in a way that was significant and necessary over the course of the season, that there is at least one kiss. They might even have a conversation. They might even share more than one kiss that leads to more (but also, don’t be surprised if we get a mere few seconds of a kiss and nothing more before fade to black). This is going to make us so happy because finally, finally, they’re giving us what we wanted. And then what? What does it mean if those things are true? Is everything forgiven? Is the instant gratification of seeing our ship sail for a scene or two enough? Does it make up for the character assassination of the characters we love? If we somehow get the ending we want, or at least one close to it, is it even believable anymore? Is what has been broken all season so easily fixed?

Listen, I already know the counter argument. I’m going to be told I’m crazy, that Teresa has to be on her own, that it wouldn’t be interesting, that it would diminish the payoff for Teresa and Jeresa in the end. I get it. Typical TV rules, right? We have to go with what people know, what they’re used to. But what have we gotten, really, to preserve these ‘rules’ for TV in general? Teresa has been dumbed down and is now lacking a lot of the intuition and street smarts she had before. She makes bad decision after bad decision and she doesn’t see what’s coming. The actions she takes are in reaction to those bad decisions. James hates so much of what he’s been made to do but for some reason he keeps going along and carrying out Teresa’s orders; he’ll just stew over it quietly in a corner without saying anything. Teresa and James don’t talk to each other, at least not about anything important, and when they do talk, they give each other heart eyes but never scratch the surface—how could they when they talk for like 10 seconds at a time? So. Has this been a good portrayal of Jeresa? You tell me. If it’s fine with everyone else, then I guess it’s fine. I’m probably the wrong person to ask.

[pearlcaddy]

Writer’s Tag

Tagged by @sanssssastark​ ages ago and just getting around to it now!

Your most popular fic:

By both kudos and hits, A Hundred Bad Days (Made a Hundred Good Stories)

Your best fic:

I think my actual best fic wasn’t posted under this username, but best fic I’ve written as pearlcaddy? Too Real for One Little Heart, the Luke POV in my soulmate verse. I’m really proud of the journey Luke goes on and the build up of the Jukebox relationship over the eight years, and there are so many scenes in it that I love with my whole heart. I slightly regret posting it as a two-shot instead of splitting it up more because I think the longer chapters put some readers off, but the split felt right to me and I wouldn’t actually want to change it, so yeah! Sparks!Luke, my beloved!

Your favorite fic you wrote:

Oof, so many of the Juke AUs I’ve posted could qualify. I love them all dearly in different ways, and it honestly just depends on the day. But I’ll always have a soft spot for the Julie the Vampire Slayer verse and My Heart's In The Highlands verse. Since it’s Burns Night, I’ll say the Highlands verse, cause Jukebox studying abroad in Scotland makes me very happy, and I love the tone and atmosphere of those fics.

Your least favorite fic you wrote:

A Hundred Bad Days. I reached a point about a year ago where, both because I wrote the beginning in a rush and because my writing has grown since I posted it, I really went off the fic. And that’s perfectly normal—I feel like there’s always a stage when you’ve grown as a writer where you look back at earlier work and feel a bit weird about it because you see all the parts you’d like to have done differently. Normally, with time, that feeling evolves into fondness for what the writing is, gratitude for the journey it represents, and pride in your own growth, but that hasn’t happened yet for this particular story. I think probably because it’s one of the fics that people tend to recognize me by if they know my username? And something about being continually identified with a fic I’m not currently proud of has impacted my feelings about myself as a writer and elongated that period of feeling weird about the fic itself. Hopefully it passes at some point, because there is stuff in that first fic I like, and I’m very fond of the rest of that verse.

Tagging: No idea who has been tagged or wants to play, but a no pressure tag to @catty-words​, @nottheleastbrave​, @lydias--stiles​, @tangledstarlight​, @thedeathdeelers​ and anyone else who wants to do it!

[mst3kproject]

The Neanderthal Man

Since I'm taking a break from fishmen, I might as well let Bigfoot catch up a bit.  The Neanderthal Man isn't exactly a Bigfoot movie, but it’s along the same lines and its entire starring cast has MST3K pedigrees.  Robert Shayne was in Indestructible Man and Teenage Caveman. Richard Crane was Rocky Jones, Space Ranger! Beverly Garland was in Swamp Diamonds and Gunslinger. Even the composer, Albert Glasser, wrote music for Invasion USA, Last of the Wild Horses, and almost all of MST3K’s Bert I. Gordon movies.

Some little mountain town in the middle of the Sierras (which the Portentous 50's Narrator takes some trouble to tell us is a primeval place where 'the defacing hand of civilization has fallen but lightly') is having a rash of saber-toothed tiger sightings!  At first these are laughed off, but when the game warden himself sees one cross the road in the middle of the night, it's time to do something about it.  The warden shows a cast pawprint to Dr. Ross Harkness in Los Angeles, who is interested enough to come up and see for himself. Local Mad Scientist Dr. Groves pooh-poohs the whole thing, which is enough to tell me that we're not dealing with a local cryptid here.  Somebody is making prehistoric monsters.

So... I may not have actually run out of movies, but I seem to be running out of plots, because this is a remarkably similar movie to Monster on the Campus. The major difference between the two films is that Dr. Blake turned himself into a caveman by accident, while Dr. Groves here is doing it on purpose.

Another difference is that Monster on the Campus' story, while silly, was linear – events escalated in a way that felt logical, and there were reasons why things happened when and where they did.  By contrast, The Neanderthal Man feels like a first draft.  At the beginning of the film, we're dealing with the saber-toothed tigers that Groves has been creating by injecting cats with his de-evolution serum.  We hear about these slaughtering game and livestock, and it seems like only a matter of time before they move on to human beings.  The beginning of the film is quite upfront about the fact that Groves is responsible, too, as it is only mildly mysterious in its depiction of one of the creatures escaping his lab.

Sometimes the saber-tooths are represented by an actual tiger, usually filmed from behind or at a great distance so nobody has to put the prosthetic teeth on it.  They do have prosthetic teeth, but they're only visible in a couple of shots. Imagine being at a bar and some guy tells you his job is sticking fake fangs on real tigers for a caveman movie!  For close-ups, there's a hilarious puppet head that looks like the sort of thing you'd see mounted on a frat house wall as a joke.  The director had the sense not to linger on this in motion shots, but later we see still photographs Groves has supposedly taken of his experimental subjects and they're even stupider-looking than we imagined.

Anyway, this goes on for a while with rising action, as the game warden goes to get Harkness and they manage to shoot one of the animals, only to have it vanish from the kill site when they try to show it to Groves (the movie never bothers to explain how that happened, incidentally. The ending suggests that the creatures change back when they die, but there's definitely no dead kitty cat at the scene, either).  The whole movie could easily have just had the cats and their creator as the antagonists, perhaps even ending the same way as Dr. Groves proves his work to the other characters by injecting himself. That's not what happens, though.  Instead, the story mostly forgets about the cats one we find out Groves has also been carrying on human experiments.

(Before himself, Groves' first experimental subject was his disabled Latina housekeeper.  Another series of photos show her half-transformed into a cavewoman who for some reason is wearing drag queen false eyelashes.  And as long as I'm talking about the movie being gross and bigoted, there's a bit where a woman is violently raped.  This happens off camera, but the audience is not allowed to entertain any illusions about it.)

The problem is that before we see him give himself an injection in the arm, we have had absolutely no indication that Groves has been giving his serum to anything besides the cats! Cats are stealthy, cryptic creatures and if one of those has been seen wandering around killing things, then surely a full-on caveman beating people to death would not be able to stay out of sight!  If what we were seeing were the first time Groves had tried the formula on himself then that would be an explanation, but his notes reveal that he's been doing it for so long that he's on the verge of losing control of the transformation and permanently reverting to a pre-human status, as indeed he does for the climax.  Much like the stupid dinosaur in The Beast of Hollow Mountain, the movie's main monster is given no build-up whatsoever!

There's worse yet, though.  The main characters, Dr. Harkness and Groves' daughter Jan, are barely involved in the 'caveman' part of the plot. They get phone calls about the various murders that Groves is committing in caveman form, and they snoop around the lab to figure out things the audience already knows.  The same story could have been told without them, perhaps with the game warden and the hunter as protagonists, and it would probably have been more interesting. The script also repeatedly has Dr. Groves wander in and bluster about how the tiger sightings are hallucinations and tall tales, which seems a little unnecessary when we already know he's responsible. The film-makers can't seem to decide whether they want us to know that or not.

Dr. Groves wears glasses.  Maybe the reason his primitive alter-ego is angry and breaking shit (although it does politely open and close the window it climbs out of, which made me laugh) is because it can't see. This is also my theory about why the Hulk smashes, and what do you know?  In Avengers Endgame he's got Hulk-sized spectacles and only smashes when he's told!

The direction of The Neanderthal Man can probably best be described as 'serviceable'.  It shows us what's going on, but doesn't particularly add anything to the proceedings.  The 'Neanderthal' mask is immobile and uninteresting, not much better than somebody's Party City Sasquatch costume.  Even the eyes are just painted on, meaning the poor guy in the costume can’t do much because he can’t see where he’s going.

The dialogue is often very strange, with characters talking like they're in a Jules Verne novel. If only one person did this, it might seem like a character quirk – it works for Dr. Groves, for example – but it's everybody. Seeing the cat carcass is gone, Harkness declares, “I refuse to believe in the supernatural!  There must be some logical cause and effect to this unholy adventure!”  Groves' fiancee Ruth berates him for ignoring her, saying, “I want you, the man I once knew!  The good companion, the cheerful friend.  I want the happiness we once found in each other.”  It's bizarre to listen to, and often audibly awkward for the actors.

Monster on the Campus was kind of trying to be about how humanity must choose to evolve away from our inner savage, although the finale didn't bear that out.  There's a scene in The Neanderthal Man in which this movie seems to be trying to go in the opposite direction, saying that we were never savage to begin with.  Dr. Groves is speaking to a panel of scientists about the size of the brain in various 'primitive' species of human.  He points out that by the time we reached Homo erectus we were already working with four times the cerebral jelly of a chimpanzee, and argues that our ancestors would have been recognizably human in their behaviour and problem-solving capacity.

(Amusingly, his chart of human evolution includes Piltdown Man, which was proven to be a hoax literally a few months after this movie's release.  What makes this even more tragic for the writers is that their list of primitive humans seems to be the only place where they actually did any research.)

The problem with Dr. Groves' theory is that he already knows it's wrong. We soon learn that he's been experimenting on himself with his serum for a while already, and his notes show that he knows very well he regresses into a near-mindless animal.  The movie does not even try to reconcile these ideas.  If Groves were continuing his experiments in the hope that perfecting his serum would give him a more accurate reconstruction of ancient man, that would be one thing, but the script never goes there.

So now that we've had two 'man turns into caveman by injecting science juice' movies, of course I have to ask which one is better.  Monster on the Campus wasn't a good movie but it was definitely an improvement on The Neanderthal Man in several respects, and although I don't have any way to find out for certain, I suspect it was an intentional remake.  It's definitely more entertaining and gets bonus points for including the Meganeura dragonfly, but nothing in it is nearly as funny as The Neanderthal Man's fake tiger head.  I guess if you're gonna watch one or the other, stick to Monster on the Campus, but if you're gonna watch both, start with The Neanderthal Man and do them in chronological order, the better to spot the inspirations and references.

Before I go, a fun paleontology fact: current thinking is that the saber-toothed cat's eponymous fangs actually didn't show when it had its mouth closed!  There are zero cave paintings or ancient sculptures of a saber-tooth cat with teeth visible, and when scientists looked at the structure of the enamel in the canines, it suggested that in life the teeth were hidden by big, fleshy, St Bernard jowls.  Google 'smilodon lips' and behold how this looks fully three hundred percent more ridiculous than you're imagining.  I love nature.

[queenof-literature]

Wind

Part 7 of my Hero of Wild series! Wow we’re here already

I’ve had this idea for so long and I finally get to write it! Uhh I don’t have any clever jokes for April Fools, so take this instead. Honestly the most April Fools thing about this is I didn't get a chance to edit much sooo sorry about that.

Hope you enjoy!

Wind narrowed his eyes at the scene before him.

Why did Twilight get to be best friends with the mysterious new hero!

Of course Wind was happy Wild seemed to be finding his place among the others. It started when they found out he had the cooking skills of a castle chef. No, scratch that, his skills had to succeed any castle chef. He had tried food in Warriors and Twilight’s Hyrule Castles, and nothing beat what Wild could do with time and a proper set up!

Man, he was hungry.

Not the point!

The point was, Wind watched Wild silently laugh at something Twilight said to him, Wind couldn’t help but huff. Jealous wasn’t really the way he would describe his feelings. Wind was happy when he saw Wild getting along so well with Twilight, especially with how shy he seemed to be around other Hylians.

That was another mysterious trait about Wild. His name, Wild. It implied someone savage and not caring of others and their rules. That wasn’t Wild.

Wind discovered what his name really meant. If Wind’s name was the gentle tuseling of hair from the high seas, then Wild’s meant the course but soft feeling of grass beneath one’s feet.

Their names were similar, not just in the lettering, but in the feelings they both provided. When Wind thought of their names, he thought of freedom. And with Wild perhaps a few fires along the way.

And Wind was gonna be his friend dammit.

~

His sign was outdated, the other Links weren’t the only ones who didn’t understand him. Like many things, sign has evolved without him. The only one who truly understood that was Zelda, and she was in Hateno.

Wild didn’t have many memories, but he did remember talking to her after they finally got along, only with her. Verbally. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t even remember what his voice sounded like.

Would he have a similar accent to Zelda? Posh and regal? Probably not, accents could be changed and acclimated and it had been over one hundred years since Wild had heard anyone have that accent but Zelda, and perhaps the ghost of the king. No, his accent would probably develop into a mix of things.

  As for his voice itself, would it be soft and quiet? Loud and course? Did the two feel different when you spoke? Sure Wild had made noises before. He laughed when he was alone, sometimes the noise just bubbled up and he couldn’t stop it. But talking? Wild didn’t know how, and that was embarrassing. He could read, he could write, and he could understand how other people spoke. He couldn’t speak.

He had watched how others talked. He tried to copy it. When they said an ‘oh’ sound, they made the same shape with their mouth. He was positive he was doing it right, he copied it exactly, but nothing pushed passed his mouth. Nothing of importance anyway.

Just as it had the past couple of days, Wild’s mind flashed back to Sky’s offer. He had seemed so genuine, it didn’t seem to be something the man would offer simply to be nice. But perhaps the man hoped Wild would forget about it, maybe Sky himself had already forgotten about it. Still, there was just a small ember of hope in him.

He imagined himself finally keeping up with conversations, laughing loudly, maybe even surprising Zelda. He shouldn’t let himself get lost in fantasies but he couldn’t help it, not when it was a small possibility. There was no telling if Sky’s offer was truly genuine, or that Wild would actually be able to follow through and speak, but what if he tried. 

Still that would require reaching out, approaching Sky and asking for help with one of the most basic actions one could perform, something many did without even thinking about it.

Yet Sky understood that, didn’t he? He had been open with Wild, told him of his childhood struggles. Perhaps there really was no shame in asking. Wild let out a low sigh, not aware of the figure stalking him from behind, eyes narrowed slightly, plotting.

~

Now, how was he to approach him? Wind mused on the answer as the group walked forward. No one had claimed this Hyrule as their own yet, the best they could do is walk the main path and search for a town, and keep their guard up.

Truthfully Wind didn’t know Wild well enough yet to determine the best approach. Would a direct question work? He had tried that before and had been mostly brushed off, but that was before Wild knew who they were. Wind decided ultimately to be honest and say whatever was on his mind, Wild could probably tell when someone was being dishonest or not genuine. 

Twilight bid Wild a short goodbye before speeding up to talk to Time near the front of the group, and Wind saw his chance. Wind took a deep breath and trotted up to be beside Wild, giving the fellow teen plenty of room as the rest of the group tried to. They did the same thing for the more antisocial Links at the beginning of their group as well.

“Hi Wild! Breakfast this morning was really good.” Wind complimented, trying to start up a casual conversation. It was true, the food Wild called ‘crepes’ had absolutely blown Wind’s mind. Maybe Wild would be more inclined to talk if it was about something the teen enjoyed, and Wind could tell he really loved cooking.

‘Thank you’. Wind felt success at the small sign, preparing to talk again before Wild continued his signs. ‘There are a lot of flavors’. It took Wind a moment to remember the word for flavors, but Wild signed slow enough for him to figure it out. ‘Depends on the ingredients.’  

“I bet! Feel free to experiment with ingredients, I'm sure we’ll all thank you for it.” Wind joked, chest feeling light at the small smile he earned from Wild.

‘Will do.’ Wild joked back, and Wind bit his lip at the lull in conversation. Now or never.

“We don’t know each other very well.” Wind observed. “Can we ask each other questions?” Wind didn’t know what making friends was like in Wild’s Hyrule, but at Outset it was very forward, hopefully he wasn’t crossing a line. Wild’s steps seemed to falter for a minute, and Wind felt another spike of worry, before Wild nodded.

“Really? You don’t have to.” Wind assured, fearing Wild was only saying yes to be polite. Wild nodded once more, and Wind’s eyes lit up in excitement.  

“What’s your favorite color? Your tunic is blue like mine! Where’d you get it? Where’s your Zelda? Where are you from? In your Hyrule I mean. Do you have a favorite animal? What-”

“Woah there Wind.” Warriors physically stepped into the very one-sided conversation, placing a firm but gentle hand on the sailor’s shoulder. “Give him a minute to answer.” Warriors noticed the wide eyes Wild held under his hood and his twitching fingers.

“Oh! Um, sorry Wild.” Wind rubbed his neck, embarrassed. He just couldn’t decide what to ask first!

‘Don’t have one. Zelda made it. In Hateno. Everywhere. I like horses.’ Wind’s eyes lit up, excited someone had kept up with questions, but halted himself from asking anymore.

Wild however, felt sadness bloom in his chest further. 

He wanted to say that his favorite color depended on the day, on what marvels his Hyrule had in store for him. 

He wanted to say Zelda made it for the champion, her duties as a princess, but she was a scholar at heart and she was pouring over books and reaching out to leaders to make her kingdom better as they spoke. 

He wanted to say that he loved his horses and the companionship they provided, but he thought bears and elk were fun to ride and foxes were so cute with their fluffy tails and huge yawns he only killed them when absolutely necessary.

He wanted to say that, but he didn’t. Because he couldn’t.

Before Wild could raise his hands and ask a question in return, a shout was heard from the front of the group.

“Watch out!” Twilight yelled, unsheathing his sword. What? Wild’s head whipped around, eyes scanning for any sign of a threat. He summoned his sword with the others, lucky enough to have a royal broadsword with minimal damage. The rest of the group stood in different stances, ranging from wide to more narrow and showing how different they were from one another. It appeared they were all waiting for the enemy to make the first move. And make the first move they did.

 A creature launched out of the trees in an instant, right towards Warriors, who expertly lifted his shield  to protect himself.

“They’ve surrounded us!” Called Legend, blocking another creature attacking him from the other side of the path. Wild could now see they looked like a different version of Lizalfos, green scales shimmering in the sun contrasting the pale milky yellow of their stomachs. They didn’t look like his Lizalfos, their heads rounder and bodies thicker, but that was something Wild would need to get used to.

“Keep an eye out for the black one!” Warriors shouted to their group. Black one? Did they not have black Lizalfos? Something in Wild’s head screamed at him and he summoned his shield from his slate and parried a strong hit from yet another of the creatures. They really were surrounded, but Wild was used to fighting this amount by now. He raised his hand to his slate to summon his bomb arrows before pausing in growing realization. What was he thinking? He would hit his comrades!

His hesitance resulted in a strong punch to the chest, Wild’s breath caught and he stumbled back, running right into Sky behind him who was fighting off his own Lizalfos. Wild quickly recovered, almost dodging the next attack before realizing that if he did the creature’s sword would ram right into Sky’s chest. Wild clumsily blocked, chest constricting, desperate to get away and cursing himself for his own weaknesses. Quickly he lurched to the side before the Lizalfos could raise his sword, and ran right into Legend this time.

“Watch it!” Legend snarled, not even noticing who it was in the heat of battle. Wild’s eyes darted around, looking for any opening, anything to do. If he could get into a tree he could jump out and take them out with his arrows, no, no opening. He continued to use his sword and shield, hyper aware of all the bodies surrounding him that weren’t enemies.

And at the worst possible moment, Wild’s shield broke. He really should have expected it.

The Lizalfos made a deep growl in its throat, smashing its shield into Wild’s head causing the boy to stumble and fall, landing on his back, his sword skidding away from him. The Lizalfos didn’t hesitate, raising its sword to plunge into Wild. This was going to hurt…

With a cry from the left, Wild watched in awe as a small body parried the sword above him, Wind. The boy swung his sword in an arch, cutting right into the Lizalfos chest. It was shallow, but it allowed Wind to gain the upper hand. How had he made that big an arch without hitting anyone? Wind launched himself from the ground, mercilessly driving his sword into the Lizalfos’ chest, crashing them both to the ground.

As the other Links finished up their own fights, ensuring they were truly out of enemies, Wild stared in awe and shame. Everyone had taken out at least one enemy, everyone but him. Wind had to step in and save him. Wild’s cheeks were bright red, an uncomfortable heat across his face, ears and neck. Without thinking Wild yanked his hood higher, chest constricting. They were all looking at him, they were all seeing how inept he was at this.

“Are you okay? I think he got hit in the head!” Wind called out to the other Links. Oh, so that’s what felt wet on his face. Oh well, head wounds bleed a lot. Wild silently begged Wind not to draw anymore attention to him. He just wanted to forget this ever happened. They were all looking at him.

“I have a potion!” Hyrule called, rushing over. Wild shook his head as Hyrule approached him. He was fine, he didn’t need it. He had already messed up.

‘Fine’. Wild signed as Hyrule sat in front of him, perhaps normally this would be fine, but everything was too much and Hyrule was too close.

“Wild, you’re bleeding.” Hyrule stated, reaching for Wild’s face. Wild quickly flinched away, hand flying towards his slate in momentary panic. Hyrule’s eyes widened, realizing what he had done and pulling back. “Sorry! Sorry just… you’re bleeding. We have extra don’t worry.” Once again Hyrule offered the potion, holding it far away from himself for Wild to grab. Wild didn’t know Hyrule all that well yet, their shield surfing adventure aside, but he knew the other boy would probably persist until Wild drank, and the last thing Wild wanted to do was to make a large spectacle. Well, more than he already had.

Wild reached out to grab the potion, ensuring he didn’t touch Hyrule’s fingers, before slowly sipping, only consuming enough to heal his head wound. Almost instantly he felt fog he hadn’t even known was there clear up, allowing him to relax, only slightly. There was still an uncomfortable heat in his cheeks and ears. He handed a skeptical Hyrule the bottle, gesturing to his healed head no longer gushing bright red. Hyrule reluctantly clipped the almost full potion back onto his belt, but didn’t leave Wild’s side.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Wind approached Wild. It was too much, it was all too much.

‘I’m sorry’. Wild signed shakily to Wind, eyes focusing anywhere but on the younger boy who had perhaps saved his life. ‘I’m sorry’. He signed once more, this time in the direction of Time and the others. That could have gone so much worse, he could have gotten someone killed, specifically Wind. 

“Wild, it’s okay we’ve all had to save each other’s asses before.” Wind piped up, but Wild only shook his head, he lifted his clammy hands, but nothing would form. What could he say? That he was sorry he put them all in danger? That he was sorry he almost blew them up without thinking?

“Teamwork is hard when you’re not used to it.” Wild’s shocked eyes darted to Hyrule in front of him, the other boy having a look of sudden understanding of what had happened, and that understanding dawned on the rest of them. 

“Do us a favor and don’t almost electrocute all of us like Hyrule did.” Legend smirked at Hyrule’s red cheeks and betrayed glare.

‘I almost blew you up’. Wild signed without thinking, feeling regret pool in his stomach. He expected a scolding, a remark about how reckless and dangerous he was, how they shouldn’t let him fight. He did not expect them all to burst out laughing. 

“Great, there’s another one!” Four groaned, but he didn’t sound very upset.

“Like you’re one to talk!” Warriors laughed, dodging a kick from the smith.

“Let’s not stay here for too long.” Time announced, however the clear smirk on his face told everyone how amused he was. Honestly, Wild was scared he would get a verbal lashing, but Time would probably wait for later to do that.

“Are you okay to walk?” Hyrule asked, and while Wild appreciated the concern he was confused how a small head wound would impede his movement at all. Still Wild shook his head and stood, ignoring the slight tremble in his legs from the feeling of the world imploding just a moment ago. Wild had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes at how pathetic he was being.

It seemed unnatural to be on the road again. The others chatting even while keeping a far sharper ear out for what lurked along the path.

“Hey Wild.” Wind greeted once more.

‘Thank you’. Wild signed with as much feeling as he could have while not making eye contact.

“Oh! Uh yeah, no problem. Those bastards are slippery.” Wind smiled at him, the same as before, and Wild felt himself calm slightly. “Listen…” Wild cocked his head slightly at Wind’s sudden serious tone. “I know…  I know what it’s like, to feel embarrassed when someone else has to save you. I’m the youngest so…” Wind trailed off, gesturing his hands vaguely, but Wild could understand what he was trying to say. “It, well, it took me a while to realize that getting help isn’t something you should be ashamed of. I used to feel bad whenever someone stepped in to help me, but Warriors told me that it’s okay to accept help, and I had forgotten that. That’s what being a group is. Don’t feel bad.” Wind smiled up at Wild, who looked as shocked as he felt. It’s okay to accept help. It was such a simple sentence yet it sent Wild reeling.

‘Thank you, Wind’. Wild signed, and Wind lit up once more at the sight of his name sign he was so proud of. He nodded and he and Wild spent the next hour exchanging questions and answers. They were all simple, nothing that dug deep, and Wild wasn’t as overwhelmed as he thought he would be. Yet something still weighed heavily on his mind.

~

Sky was well aware of the company he had. The others had taken to doing their chores before settling in. It was a general unspoken rule that if they had the opportunity, Links that had their tasks done could do whatever, just as long as it was near camp or someone else knew where you were and you were within someone else’s eyesight. It certainly helped them all, especially those who were used to traveling alone. The tasks weren’t really assigned, most of them just did what was closest and others filled in the rest. Sky had already ensured that Epona was properly taken care of while Twilight secured the perimeter, and was content to work on his latest woodworking. It wasn’t the only hobby he had, but it was nice for evenings he was content to sit back and observe.

Currently though, his main point of interest was awkwardly shuffling behind him. Sky wondered if he would come around in front of him to talk, but ultimately decided to be the first to speak. Sky shifted from where he was leaning against the tree to face Wild, meeting questioning but troubled blue eyes. He had been wearing his hood around camp less, and Sky wanted to think that was a positive sign. It seems being acknowledged only troubled Wild more. 

“Hi Wild! Is there anything wrong or would you just like company?” Sky offered, always so considerate for his feelings. This only made Wild more flustered as he stood there, awkwardly shuffling his feet. “Wild?” Sky pressed, no impatience, only concern and confusion. Wild squeezed his hands close to his chest before raising them. 

‘Is your offer still open?’

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

Vienna-Based Mistos and Grizabella: Misto Becomes the Misto You Know

Once again, I find myself fascinated with the Vienna production and it’s descendants, especially when it comes to Mistoffelees. There are bits with Misto in these productions that are sometimes very similar to the 1998 VHS, but other productions don’t have them.

In the majority of productions I’ve seen, when Grizabella first appears, the first cats to respond are Coricopat and Tantomile, who hiss at her. Some productions have Mistoffelees sense her first, which all the Vienna-based ones do. But, they all do it slightly differently, with a noticeable difference between the first two (Vienna and Amsterdam) and the later two (Paris and Zurich)

Vienna:

This production started in 1983, but the recording is from 1990, near the end of the show’s run. Mistoffelees was played by the same actor, Valentin Baraian, playing him for most of the run. Occasionally, covers would step in, but he was the official Vienna Misto the whole time. So, despite the film being from 1990, it’s a characterization developed in 1983. I’m sure it evolved over time, but not in the same way as productions where the role changed hands.

I know it’s very hard to see here, but those are Misto’s hands behind Grizabella. When he first approaches her, he briefly tries to block her path, but when she insists on going forward, he walks behind her.

A cat, I’m not sure which one, runs up to Grizabella and hisses at her. Misto signals the cat to stand back. Throughout the scene, several cats approach Grizabella, some attempting to reach out to her, and others just to hiss at her or scratch her. With the former, one of the older cats will rush to stop them. Misto himself only stops the ones approaching threateningly. This means that he’s following her around to make sure that the others don’t hurt her.

After Grizabella starts singing, he tries to fend off the cats who approach her, but only the ones that do something to upset her, since she turns on them for the “you see the border of her coat is torn” line.

Conclusion: Vienna Misto is one of the adult cats, allowed to approach Grizabella and take charge while she’s there, since Munkustrap seems reluctant to do anything one way or another. But, even though he knows who she is and what she did, he personally has nothing against her and shadows her to keep her from getting hurt. Since one of the kittens succeeds in scratching her, he doesn’t seem to be very at it, but he cares enough to feel like he needs to try.

Amsterdam:

NOTE: Due to not having access to a full recording of this production, if one even exists at all, the following screenshots are taken from the clip @junkyard-gifs uploaded. As far as I can tell, the clip is from 1987. 

When Misto notices Grizabella, he runs up to her and holds his arms out, blocking her path. Once again, it seems like Misto is old enough to know who she is and that she’s not welcome.

However, Grizabella will not be stopped. She just shoves him out of the way. He’s not Munkustrap. He’s not the protector. He can’t tell her what to do.

However, this shove is technically an act of violence, so Misto warns the others to stay back. She attacked him! I’m guessing this Misto is not often shoved out of the way. Some Mistos are, but not this one.

The other cats scatter and Munkustrap steps up to handle the situation. Misto is still mad about it.

Conclusion: Amsterdam Misto (Dr. Diavolo, which is an amazing name) is one of the adult cats, since he seemed to know right away that Grizabella wasn’t welcome. But, unlike Vienna Misto, who seemed to have some sort of connection to Grizabella, this Misto doesn’t like her and likes her even less after she pushes him. He seems less mature and more prideful than Vienna Misto, with his dramatic reaction to being shoved, but I get the feeling that most of the other cats would’ve behaved the same way in this situation.

Now, both of these Mistos knew who Grizabella was. In general, full adults know Griz, while the kittens and sorta-adults don’t. This is the most clear generation gap in the show. In both these productions, Misto was put on the side of the adults. This matches up with most earlier portrayals of the character. By the time Jacob Brent played him, he was a younger character, only just starting to become an adult, who comes up age by the end of the show. I’ve always been curious as to when exactly this change took place. How did we get from here:

to here:

I don’t have any pictures of Timothy Scott’s Misto and Grizabella, so this comparsion doesn’t work quite as well, but you get the idea. In the above picture, Misto is just sort of waiting to see what Grizabella does. He doesn’t know her.

Well, I think the next two entries in the Vienna Line show some of the journey from point A to point B

Paris

The recording of the Paris version is from 1990, during the last month of the show’s run. It was uploaded to YouTube by Guy-Paul de St. Germain, who played Misto in the recording, and in London shortly after, as well as in a later UK Tour.

Misto approaches Grizabella, and the film quality makes it hard to see what’s going, but what I think is going on is that Munkustrap and Misto are equally quick to react to Grizabella, but Munkustrap keeps his distance, while Misto approaches her. From what I can tell, he does so neutrally, just trying to figure out who she is.

Munkustrap doesn’t physically intervene, but he warns Misto to get away with a sharp hiss. Misto backs away and stands in the corner, where he remains for the rest of the number.

After one of the kittens (I’m pretty sure it’s Tumblebrutus) scratches Grizabella, Misto sort of leans toward her, almost taking a step in her direction. But, he looks back over his shoulder before doing anything, and whatever he sees keeps him in place. I’m guessing he was looking to Munkustrap for permission to see if she’s alright after being scratched, and was denied permission.

Conclusion: Paris Misto most likely doesn’t know who Grizabella is. He obeys Munkustrap’s instructions regarding her, but he doesn’t seem to know what to think of her. He’s concerned for her when she gets hurt, but he prioritizes Munkustrap’s orders over that concern. The general tone is very similar to the VHS, though 1998 Misto started glaring at Grizabella, copying Munkustrap, instead of just following his instructions.

Zurich

The Zurich footage is from a 1992 bootleg. In 1992, Misto was being played by Lindsay Chambers, who’d go on to play him on Broadway for a few years. He was playing Misto on Broadway when Jacob Brent was cast as Pouncival, so this is where Brent’s Misto starts to connect to Vienna-based Mistos.

When Misto starts dancing to the reprise of Tugger’s song, he gets really into it and Grizabella shows up right behind him, making it seem like he nearly crashes into her. When he sees her, he just stops and stares. He doesn’t react at all. He just waits to see what she’ll do.

Even though he’s not doing anything, Grizabella treats him like Amsterdam Misto, pushing him out of her way. Since Amsterdam Misto was actually blocking her path, it made sense for her to do that, but here it’s just rude! He doesn’t know who she is and made no move against her. If she wants a cat to welcome her back into the tribe, he probably would’ve done it. But it seems like Zurich Grizabella is focused on getting to Munkustrap. She wants to talk to the one who’s in charge.

Like in the Paris version, when Grizabella is scratched, Misto steps towards her. But, Zurich Misto is quick to stop himself. He doesn’t need Munkustrap to tell him to stay away, though Munkustrap is right there. I can’t tell if he’s glaring at Misto or glaring at Grizabella, because of Bootleg Quality. But, if Munkustrap isn’t glaring at Misto, Misto just decided to stop by himself, probably remembering getting pushed out of the way. Grizabella really lost herself an ally here. From other scenes in this version, I’ve noticed that Zurich Misto often doesn’t seem to understand the social rules of the tribe and gets in trouble frequently. In the very next scene, Skimble will stop him from pulling Bustopher’s tail, but he’ll insist on doing it anyway, so even if the rules are explained to him, he still might break them if he really wants to. He’d go against the tribe to support Grizabella if he felt like he had a reason to. But, because she pushed him, his first impression of her is negative, so if the rest of the tribe says she’s bad, he’ll go along with it.

Zurich Grizabella confuses me, basically.

Conclusion: Like in Paris, Zurich Misto is not a full adult. He doesn’t know who Grizabella is and reacts to her neutrally at first. The key difference is that he doesn’t go against Grizabella because that’s what the adults are doing, but in direct response to her actions. Compared to both Paris and the VHS, Zurich Misto isn’t quite as invested in pleasing authority figures. He wants the Important Cats to like him, but he’s more willing to go against them.

So, my theory about How Misto Became 1998 Misto is:

1. In different ways, both the London and Broadway productions originally characterized Misto as a full grown adult, somewhat established as a magician due to a love of showing off.

2. Most early productions had a similar characterization for Misto, including the Vienna production.

3. The Paris production seemed to be where things began to change. One of the actors who played Misto, either Tibor Kovats or Guy-Paul de St. Germain started playing the character differently. This might’ve been because of the decision to have Mistoffelees dance with Victoria. London’s Admetus and Broadway’s Tumblebrutus were established as kittens around Victoria’s age. If Misto was out of her age range, it would be kind of weird. This wouldn’t stop the London production from pairing her with Alonzo in its later years, but whatever. So, Misto was aged down to be only as old as they could get away with if they wanted to pair him with Victoria, even if it was just for one dance, since a lot of productions don’t have Victoria interact with her dance partner much outside of the dance itself. Mistoria shippers can make a thing out of it and everyone else can not make a thing out of it, because it works either way.

4. The Zurich production also paired Mistoffelees with Victoria for the dance, so they might’ve aged him down for similar reasons. Like in Paris, Tibor Kovats played Misto in this version early on. I don’t have any footage of him in the role, but he’s what really connects Paris and Zurich, so this Misto characterization might’ve come from him. If not, Guy-Paul de St Germain and Lindsay Chambers had very similar ideas for what to do with the character, with just enough difference that it could just be a coincidence. 

5. Guy-Paul de St Germain played Misto in London, bringing this new characterization into that production.

6. Lindsay Chambers played Misto on Broadway, bringing this new characterization into that production. Future Mistos of both London and Broadway would be more likely to base their portrayals on these Vienna-based Mistos.

7. When Jacob Brent was cast as Pouncival on Broadway, Lindsay Chambers was playing Misto. Jacob learned the part while Chambers was playing it, and when it was his turn to play Misto, he also played him as a young tom coming of age.

And he was very good at it.

8. Jacob Brent played Mistoffelees in the 1998 VHS. When the show closed in London and on Broadway, the 1998 version became the version that most people saw first, so a generation of future Mistos learned his characterization, so it became the one that remained popular into the present day.

And that’s probably where Baby Misto comes from.

[mc-critical]

So I honestly thought of this ask from the Dilruba ask you got that spoke about Safiye’s idolization of Hürrem and Nurbanu. It makes me think, I felt like in observing Safiye’s character, she exhibited a phenomenon in which you’ve spoke of before, in which she reached a point of her life where she completely internalized and became the toxicity in her enviornment. I feel like she put Hürrem and Nurbanu on such a pedestal (especially with Nurbanu having treated her so terribly) is because she adapted a Social darwanist mindset of sorts which caused her to firmly believe that those who were/are “strong/worthy” were those who succeeded within the system by any means necessary, even if that meant killing and harming even those closest to them. It felt to me almost as if she came to “understand” Nurbanu’s stance towards her or even sympathized with it albeit in a strange, traumatized way? Or when she wanted to pass down her ring to Kösem after she suceeded in killing Iskender, it was almost like she wanted to congratulate Kösem on being able to kill her son. It’s interesting, like her entire moral compass was completely warped having been in the harem for so long and in unlike any way I can recall seeing on other sultanas in either franchise. I don’t remember Mahi/Hürrem coming to idolize Hafsa later in their lives but this could also be because the SOW time period was still relatively fresh in their time and Hafsa may not have wielded or exhibited as much power as Nurbanu may have as a valide sultan. What do you think?

Yes, Safiye as a character is the embodiment of these destrustive philosophies to the extreme. The toxic system leaves no one untouched and she is indeed one of the characters in the SOW and in the franchise overall that is the most affected by it.

Unlike Hürrem and Nurbanu, where we get a solid exploration of what exactly made them this way, with Safiye we have the philosophy set at the very start, her introduction sets many things clear. We know that she loves power. We know that she wants to keep that power until the end of time. Her role as an antagonist is revealed immediately in her unwillingness to give up her power. One may find her a little less multi-faceted, precisely because her motivations were more vague than the rest- we don't get anything outright with her, we don't get much insight. We're left to figure things out by ourselves. That doesn't make her a cardboard cut out however, given that we have very vague reasoning, but with enough context to see what's behind it. I find her "backstory" counterpart very interesting in that she could only be used to drive a contrast between MC E139 Safiye and MCK Safiye, be presented as the former shadow of Safiye's self, what she has previously been. With only a single scene we technically have her foundation, but what is retroactively set-up (her worship of Hürrem aside) is completely turned on its head. MC E139 Safiye is perceptive that one day you have to step out of power, but that's the primary dilemma of MCK Safiye, the very thing she refuses to do. It's hinted that she has had many, too many years of power in the harem and it's not only something she has become used to, it's much more than that: it's as if she's had this power her whole life. The prospect of her losing it has become truly unthinkable, out of reach. She has gained an self-image of greatness that would always "sustain" the castle and preserve its life force. She's accustomed to endless, limitless power. She has set her own network of people. She loves every aspect of this power: both the simple and the complex stuff, from her long morning routine to her orchestrating things from the inside. Her power as a concept alone is her whole being and I don't think she ever separated herself from her royal demeanor. She is always power and majesty and splendor everywhere, from her dresses, to her mannerisms, to her constant addressing of herself as "we", taken from European courts.

I agree that she values power as something for herself and something that is hers by right, not for the advantages or disadvantages it may bring. Safiye doesn't care about that: as long as she's there and in power, it would all be fine, it would be enough. Safiye has her own distorted understanding of applying power: she speaks constantly about the dynasty and the country (just like many sultanas), but she leaves them aside completely when she's threatened. And she doesn't view what she does as morally right, she's always ready to play dirty in order to maintain her own accomplishments and to outplay everyone else. She actually resorts to dirtier and dirtier tricks the more she loses her power. I did mention when paralleling and contrasting her with Kösem in another ask of yours that Safiye, unlike Kösem, doesn't focus her efforts on reaching out to the people, she is a lone wolf when it comes to power and she is projecting indisputable superiority on everyone she's in front of. The closest relationship she has is with Bülbül and even that is merely an addition to Safiye and the result of him being the person always next to her and fills all her whims much more than it is all genuine affection. The Darwinian philosophy is what she lives by; and the notion that she gave the ring to Kösem because of her starting to respect another person's own power except for her own, admitting that someone has outplayed her, doing it only because someone has outplayed her, is really important. Her arc was about finally accepting defeat after deluding herself for so long that no one could truly eclipse her, but then again, has she gotten completely over her toxic environment? Hardly. Because once again, by giving the ring, she symbolically continues the SOW cycle that has, in the show, many toxic aspects especially when it comes to power. Safiye could respect people only when they keep up for longer than she anticipates, have been tied up to her in a more "unconventional" way and have a (previously and contemporarily) good position on the hierarchy. She did accept Kösem as a rival at the end of the day, in part probably because she started off as someone loyal to Safiye and evolved way past that, but didn't accept Handan, because she couldn't face it that someone like her, someone she perceived as weaker, can now rule over her. I saw Safiye as someone finding disobedience from a person previously loyal to her more challanging than a permanent, irreparable change of the hierarchy she is strongly dissatisfied with. Her elitism is so strong that she doesn't go past it even when there is a change in position. She doesn't get over that biased, stereotypical thinking.

She worships this Darwinist philosophy in Hürrem, that she's the strongest survivor, that she has prevailed over her opponents, without having the chance to know the bigger picture and has heard only the banter of someone who is still biased to her after all (Mihrimah). She shares this philosophy with S02B post-E59 and S04 Hürrem in even scarier extremes and that's what she has set as an example for herself. It's true that she takes this mindset from this cult to Hürrem, too. This very disrupting cult of hers. But then again, I never saw her sympathizing with Nurbanu, per say? She's perfectly able to acknowledge Nurbanu's cruelty and correct me if I'm wrong, but the only praise I recall for her is her being the most beautiful (but the cruelest) sultana she's ever known? Which in no way indicates sympathy. But I wouldn't brush off at all Safiye viewing fer experiences with Nurbanu as the twist of fate, in which she has prevailed after all, but could acknowledge the ones before her. (but not after her, Kösem aside.) Safiye isn't that kind of person that would show in any way that she has experienced trauma, but she could've brushed said trauma even deeper within than other characters, to the point that her direction even would never ever indirectly hint at it, keeping her usual regality in check.

[Hürrem did say she set Valide as her own example in her last words to her in E61, but I get how it could be missed when she also lamented their previous, not so good experiences and told her about Nigar and Ibrahim, which put an end to Valide's life. Mahidevran, on the other hand, never mentioned Valide post-S03 outside of saying that they would bury Fatma in Ayşe Hafsa's mosque (was it?). They both mourned her death, but interestingly enough, both of them have "violated" her memory in some way by wanting her chambers. Mahidevran wanted the chambers to set her own model in the castle during her harem ruling period, while Hürrem wanted it to show she could one-up everyone, for them to respect her the way she thought she deserved. There truly wasn't this worship to such extent as in MCK, also because it presented the beginning of the SOW rather than the peak of it. There wasn't much to blindly praise there, hence the effect wouldn't be as strong.]

[gmariam19]

Should we put trigger warnings for quarantine fics? If you've had a bad experience with the pandemic during the last year, this is about Finn and Poe being placed in quarantine on the Falcon. It's not dark and depressing at all, but fyi just in case you need to pass. I'll put something in the tags, too!

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I finally wrote a Finnpoe quarantine scene! There were so many at the beginning of this, but 18 months in and I've finally put Finn and Poe in quarantine myself.

So, yes - this goes with the last three I've posted, but it's probably my favorite so far, so it gets its own post. Plus the other one was getting too long.

The fic is a five times fic and evolving a little more toward five times they could have and one time they did. Or something like that! I've written four out of five so far, but I'm still trying to decide how to approach the last ones - points of view, happy or sad, who says what, etc. It could go a lot of ways, and I want it to be at least a smidge different.

Anyway, enjoy this one! Happy Monday! :)

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4. Quarantine

“We’re both infected,” Finn announces as he returns from the cockpit of the Falcon after talking to Dr. Kalonia. “Quarantine for at least three days.” Poe is still sitting dejectedly at the dejarik table where Finn left him, staring at nothing as he ignores the glass of juice and small meal in front of him. He also ignores Finn until Finn is literally standing in front of him.

“Poe?” he asks. “Did you hear what I said?”

“Oh, hey buddy,” Poe replies, as if he’s just realized Finn is there. He looks up and squints at him with a grimace. “It’s bright in here. I didn’t hear anything.”

Finn is not sure what the lights have to do with Poe’s hearing, but it’s clear that Poe feels even worse than he did ten minutes ago. He dims the iights and sits down next to the pilot, pushing the other man’s food forward. “You should eat something. Dr. Kalonia says so.”

Poe snorts and picks at his food. “She’s mean. And probably wrong.”

“She’s a doctor,” Finn points out. “And she’s not wrong. You look like shit, and I’ll probably look the same by tomorrow.” Kalonia had said the virus was extremely contagious, intense but short-lived. She had also warned him Poe was a terrible patient when he was sick. Finn has seen Poe injured, watched the pilot’s stubborn determination to either ignore it and carry on as if he’s fine, or do everything possible to recover as fast as he can and get back to work. Apparently, Poe’s responses to things like fever, chills, body aches, and fatigue are far more melodramatic.

“She wouldn’t let me fly once with a cold,” Poe tells him. “A kriffing cold! Said the pressure would mess with my head too much, could blow out my eyes and ears. I think she was making it up.” He pauses, turns to Finn with sad eyes. “And sorry if I look like shit, but I feel like it too.”

“I know you do.” Finn digs deep for patience, sensing Kalonia was spot on. She said to just let Poe wallow in order to preserve Finn’s own sanity, but Finn doesn’t want to abandon his friend. He really does look miserable, and Finn is dreading the start of his own symptoms. “Kalonia’s just looking out for us. She said the virus doesn’t last long, we should be over it quick.”

“She still locked us up in here, didn’t she?” Poe asks. He pushes his plate away and leans back. “Three days? What the hell are we going to do for three days?” He sounds even more upset about it than Finn had anticipated. Did Poe have big plans? Does he not want to be stuck in one place for so long? Is he missing someone back on the base?

“We can catch up on some sleep,” Finn jokes. “Or our reports. Maybe Snap can get us some holovids to watch, or we can—” He stops at the scornful look on Poe’s face. “What? It’s only three days.”

“Three days!” Poe exclaims. He waves his arms over his head, barely misses hitting Finn. “Trapped in here, alone, with nothing to do, for three days! When we could be out there, doing something, making a difference. We gotta head back to Sinta Glacier next week, you know.”

“Hang on,” Finn says. He knows he shouldn’t get too involved given that he was already warned off by a professional, but he’s going to anyway. Because Poe’s reluctance to quarantine feels personal, somehow. Like he doesn’t want to be with Finn for three days. “You’re not alone, I’m here too, and we can—”

Poe snorts again, and Finn stops, gives him an exasperated (and probably hurt) look. “So spending three days with me is that bad, is it? Sorry for the inconvenience, then.”

Poe’s eyes widen comically, and he leans forward so much he almost falls into Finn, clutching his shoulders. “No! No, buddy, of course not! But three days with me? You’d be better off alone—or maybe dead!”

“Don’t be ridiculous—of course I wouldn’t be better off,” Finn tells him. Melodramatic, indeed: Poe could win awards. “I don’t like being alone, you know that. And dead is even worse.”

“You’ve never been stuck with me, not like this,” Poe mutters. “I’m a terrible patient.”

“I can tell. But I’ve never been sick, so maybe I am too,” Finn replies, then continues before Poe can make a comment about either statement. “Besides, we’ve shared blankets and beds —hell, we even pretended to be kriffing married to get those parts and intel we needed a few weeks ago. I think we can make it three days with killing each other.”

Poe stares at him, mouth hanging slightly open, eyes brimming with…well, something. Tears, mucus, deep feelings? “I love your optimism.”

Finn rolls his eyes. “Well, I don’t like your doubts, so get rid of them. We can do this. We’ve made it through crazier things than this.” Which is absolutely true when Finn thinks about the incident with Chewie and the red dress. He shakes the image out of his mind.

Poe’s shoulders droop as he sighs heavily. He lets his head fall to the table. “Quarantine. Why did it have to be quarantine?” He lifts his head and offers Finn a watery smile, reaches out to lay a hand on his arm. “I’m glad it’s with you, buddy.”

“And I’m glad it’s with you, too—but we are definitely not sharing a bed this time,” Finn says, earning a laugh from Poe that ends in a groan as he lays his head down again. Finn rubs his shoulders, thinking about that particular mission. It had actually been okay, sharing a bed—perfectly fine, maybe even a little nice, but they are sick after all. And definitely not together, no matter what Marri Kir had thought.

Sometimes Finn wonders why, and if it will ever change.

And then he sneezes violently, and his head starts pounding, and he knows it probably won’t happen in quarantine.