#They really were doing things that were ableist

[timkontheunsure]

Ozzie's not perfect but that so good 😊

Intersectionality of classism, racism and ableism

Ozzie's a pretty lovable carebear of a sin, it's honestly great seeing the nuisance this guy gets in the writing. I love seeing a nice bloke who is a little bit classist, racist and ableist; because these are traits anyone can have.

Like how Stolas' and Millie's are there for character development, so is Ozzie's. 🙂

And none of these things feel like they'll be unsormaounable for Fizz and Ozzie.

Classism

Alot of foke have asked if Fizz gets to be mad that Ozzie didn't try very hard to save his best friend. And well yer he probably will be mad in s3.

He begged his partner to keep his best friend safe, he gets to be mad. Doesn't matter if Ozzie thought he had a good reason to not do so, like keep his head down to try to keep Fizz safe; Fizz can be mad for not being listened to.

But that's not the only thing Ozzie got coming due, and means we'll get some really interesting stuff.

Ok you know how Stolas is only just started to understand how his being born in a position of privilege has affected his a Blitz's relationship? And that alot of the things he did wrong weren't out malice, but from unthinking ignorant?

Well Fizz & Ozzie's power dinamic is worse, because he's 1 of the 7 actually responsible for settling up a lot of that cast system...

And while Stolas got a bit of a mixed bag with his privilege. Never having to think about money, and given housing for himself and his kid. But also getting almost no choice in his life, and being forced into an abusive marriage.

Ozzie by contrast has it all good. His big day to day headaches being his own safety record on vibes. And his own reputation making him want to try to keep a loving relationship on the down low. (His own fault).

His basis maybe unthinking, but he's not actually ignorant of the way hell works for imps.

They've been dealing the extremely class divided by pretending it doesn't exist; leaving any fallout for Fizz to deal with alone.

Like how till recently him and Fizz were in the closet. Something Ozzie felt so uncomfortable about, he outed another royal/imp couple to shove under the bus to help them hide better. His wanting them safe isn't from a bad place, but his actions aren't clean.

Fizz was happy attacking Blitz, someone he believes hurt him out of spite. But Ozzie's the one who physically drags Stolas in, mocks him for slumming with an imp, then take the piss for lossing his wife and kid.

It really isn't a compliment when someone says "You sold your life for a thrust" and to "Pretend you don't see that crust", and equates their downfall to dating an imp. That's mockery.

I'm glad Blitz got to push back a little with when it's proven Fizzmodeus have a romantic relationship. Cus yep they are massive fucking hypocrites.

Even with harassing Moxxie for singing a love song to Millie, it's not Ozzie that takes the heat. It's Fizz.

Ozzie's need to hid them, is directly the reason to tell Moxxie off for the love song, because he's pretending love and lust can't coexist. And Millie wouldn't bonk Fizz over the head he'd if they didn't interrupt her husbands song.

The need to hid, to keep Ozzie's reputation, stops Oz from being aloud to be visibly too pissed at M&M.

Ok that the lightest fallout that Fizz takes from them not dealing with the power imbalance. But cus of staying closeted Fizz gets kidnapped, and nearly killed to keep 'their' secret.

Then attacked by stalkers cus Ozzie can't be seen caring about him;

(Making every other year of the clown pageant something Fizz must face solo).

All for Ozzie to out them both without checking Fizz ok with it first. Stopping Mammon blackmailing him, like Crim did.

So a good action, but it's acting unilaterally for both sides of the couple without any planning ahead. (Ozzie's is the biggest himmo).

Telling everyone he loves Fizz comes from a good place, but it's stepping on a boundary without checking it. When any possible backlash will likely to fall again on Fizz, not Ozzie.

But it's not the only boundary of Fizz's Ozzie's over stepping for a while.

Racism

Ozzie a pretty risk adverse guy, but also doesn't have a cool head in crisis.

This makes him less likely to stand up for what's right, untill he's back into a corner. (Making some of the stuff he do to get out of a bad situation abit of a shit show).

Ozzie's of a both chicken, and also a little bit of a cock lol. (Viv did well with making him a cockerel).

He doesn't yet want to stick his neck out for people he really should be. But is happy to tag in when Bee says Blitz is a good guy. Even though he owns Blitz for saving Fizz twice, and Stolas stopping him himmoing into getting Fizz killed.

In comparison Bee and Tex's relationship isn't a secret. All the Sins know, and basically every hellhound knows. Both their communities know they are in a stable loving relationship.

She stands up for her man to Mammon. And even non verbally tells Ozzie to back off, that it's her fight.

She doesn't need it to be a life or death situation to tell people to feck off if they don't like it.

Bee is willing to give Blitz a chance, and speaks up for him first. Ozzie's more of a tagalog. He does speak up for Blitz, a guy he has much more reason to want to help; but only after Bee.

And then doesn't do more even though IMP are legally under his jurisdiction. And his partner begs him to. (There's a good chance Ozzie could have told Satan to back off, and it'd have worked. But Ozzie isn't a planner in a fast situation).

Even though he knows that Blitz will die at the hands of a corrupt racist political system without someone stepping in.

Ozzie even has the neve to look a bit put out when Blitz calls him and the other Sins on their shit. "All I was trying to do was raise above this stupid fucking place YOU ALL FORCED US INTO!"

Doesn't Blitz know he's one of the 'good ones'?

But Oz is just not a strong person yet, and honestly think this might be something he eventually gels with Stolas over. Learning to be less passive.

But with them out Ozzie is able to tell Ma to do one for being rude about Fizz. Yay! 😁 He's becoming more free in what he can do. Love that characters development.

Ableism

And while taking about Stolas we can highlight the last character flaw Ozzie has, that's not immediate obviously.

Ok I actually think making the loving, and supportive partner to the physical disabled guy just a bit ableist too is A+ writing. 🙂

Ozzie has a pretty big problem with Stolas. (I'm going to need a thesaurus for all the ways Ozzie is a mardy over Stolas being autistic).

He gets arsy when Stolas doesn't take the chair he draw out.

Gets pissed when he's get a real answer to if he's "Still gettin' yo' kink on with that feisty imp?" Not treated as the verbal wallpaper it was. And treating Blitz like all he can be is a race kink.

Assumes the worse intentions of Stolas by suggested he's after date rape drugs. (Going chalk this up as ableist thing too, as assuming the worst in autistic people cus they're weird is really common).

Is creped out by Stolas stimming, and angry at Stolas being excited to help with his special interest.

Is annoyed that Stolas stops him signing a contract to have Fizz decapitated. (Ozzie's just really isn't a planner. No wonder Fizz does all that for him day to day. 🙂 They work well together).

Then sets Stolas on fire for making him a speedy viable contract, because the lawyer is slow.

And after Fizz is safe and sound at home, Ozzie complains that he got stuck all day with Stolas, and bragged how refused to help Blitz... (He's being unthinkingly ungrateful here, because he's used to getting things as he's top of the heap).

Some neurotypicallys really do just hate you on sight for missing social cues, and Ozzie is being that guy.

He can't even hide how much he dislikes Stolas while Stolas busy doing the thing Fizz asked him to do.

(Ozzie, you contempt is showing again bud).

This is all ableism, because the underlying message 'Why don't you just get it, and read my mind for me?! Why do I have to make allowances for your disability, and communicate what I want clearly. It's your fault I'm mildly inconvenients'.

Ok getting back to Fizz, because how he treats Stolas, leads into his attitude around Fizz's care.

Ozzie does a common mistake that all carers will do at somepoint. He reduces the ability of the disabled person to be autonomous. And he does this primarily for safety; but it's also out of a paternalistic view that he knows best.

(He's older, has more experience, more powerful; surely he can't get this wrong right?)

When Fizz has a knock to his confidence about being out and about by himself, Fizz is being hyperbolic about hating going outside. And Ozzie over corrects tells him he never had to do that again.

And Fizz's face drops.

It's infantilizing him, by removing some of his choices. He does this again when he goes behind Fizz's back to ask Blitz to bodyguard him.

Things can be done for a place of love, and still be removing someone's autonomy. Yes without Blitz there Fizz wouldn't have had the strength to tell Mammon to fuck off, but thinks can be both good and bad.

(Honestly I could probably have written 'things can be both good and bad' with pics of Ozzie doing shit, and call it a day 4 drafts ago)....

This has happened with me and every disabled person I know. Fizz needs to talk with Ozzie and redraw boundaries. They'll have to do this after each situation comes up.

Like Ozzie really wasn't happy with Fizz going out alone at the start of Opps. But they compromised on having his phone on him, and a driver giving him a lift.

With Fizz is no longer working for Mammon, and that their relationship is public arguably there's less immediate danger now.

But it's the intersectionality that's making it hard for Fizz to start that conversation. He's not just a imp dating a royal, he's a disabled imp who's prosthetics are gifted and maintained by Oz, dating a Sin who was instrumental in putting his whole race near the bottom of the ladder....

Fizz is likely going to need Blitz and Stolas' input to feel comfortable redrawing those tightening boundaries.

It's the reason he feels like he does have to apologise for getting hurt and kidnapped.

(Ozzie did great reminding Fizz he doesn't have to apologise here).

Alright cards on the table when I've had to tell my SO/carer to back off, it's always started by talking to a friend outside our dinamic. And that healthy. You get a different view, your able to sanity check what you want Vs what practical. And it gives you backup.

Making a conversation more likely to be constructive not destructive.

Because this is only insurmountable if they don't try and climb it together.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Girlypop, I'm curious, would nightmare be transphobic?? Like if he invited a trans woman (Amalgamate!Sans) into the team how would he mentally torture her? Outside of her already existing unresolved trauma of course. Maybe he would go for that instead or not.

I don’t really think so?? Mostly because I don’t see why this thing of negativity, would care that much about gender or sex or being transphobic about it. Not to mention it’s basically kinda canon that the twins are like, trans in their own right or can be read that way, too.

I don’t know the actual canon answer, though. I recall some discourse over on Tiktok awhile back about something like this; people were claiming that Joku said that Corrupted Nightmare is homophobic, transphobic, racist, ableist, etc.

Whereas others were saying that—actually—Corrupted Nightmare isn’t any of those things, doesn’t actually believe in that stuff or care, but if his victims care about it—as in, if a trans woman suffered transphobia in her life and this deeply traumatized and effected her by the time she meets Corrupted, or if this lady is insecure about being trans or has internalized transphobia—then the Corruption will use it against her.

That’s because it wants her negativity, and will or do say anything to get it, but not because it itself genuinely cares about those beliefs. Basically, those people were saying that the Corruption would weaponize those types of languages and behaviors to get what it wants; spreading negativity.

Apparently, according them, Joku stated that the Corruption hates everyone. Including those mentioned transphobes and homophobes.

I don’t recall which was correct, if either, so hopefully a canon Nightmare or Dreamtale expert will see this and give ya an answer.

[lunathewafflelord]

I’ve noticed a lot of people outside of a minority group are insisting that content that’s harmful to certain minority groups isn’t harmful, so here’s a post about it

if someone from a certain minority group tells you that something you did or said is harmful or offensive to people from that group and you’re not part of that group, maybe take a moment to consider WHY it might be offensive or harmful before getting defensive and making rude remarks

People make mistakes, and it’s inevitable for people to accidentally do or say something offensive to a certain group. It’s important to listen to people from that group when they point out how something harms them.

Ask why it’s offensive and try to learn more about that person’s perspective rather than immediately assume they’re wrong. Chances are that person knows more about what’s harmful to their group than someone who isn’t part of it.

If someone points out that a post you made is, let’s say, ableist for some reason, don’t immediately say they’re speaking nonsense. Take a moment to consider why, perhaps ask them why it is so you can avoid it in the future. Mistakes happen, and it’s important to learn from them and help things not be as toxic for people in that group. It’s a great way to learn more about that group by asking how something harms them.

Just because something doesn’t seem offensive or harmful or problematic for whatever reason to you doesn’t mean it isn’t harmful towards a group you’re not in. It’s important to listen to people from that group when they point out issues with things people do or say!

Please, listen to people from minority groups before claiming that something isn’t harmful towards them. Chances are they know more about it than you!

Please don’t see this post as being rude or anything like that! I just want to inform people about how important it is to listen to people, just because something isn’t offensive to you doesn’t mean it isn’t offensive to others - especially if you’re not part of the group that person is in! I want the world to be a better place for people in minority groups, and I think this is something very important for people to know which I don’t see mentioned a lot :)

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[the-scarlet-witch-22]

little rant, came to the realization today that when I eventually get married my mom definitely will not go. I don’t know why that hurts as much as it does. I’ve always known, like I’ve known for years and thought that I internalized it, but it’s just becoming more of a reality. I’m not even close to her but wow it sucks :)

[dovedrangeas]

the good ol "i dont see my child as an individual with their own mind, thoughts, opinions, and unique needs, and instead i see them as an object that i can control and make plans and set up expectations for for without problem or consideration, and if they aren't in the narrow boundaries of what i want them to be, i will act like they have died and talk about how hard this is for ME" special

[katyspersonal]

Was very epic style of me to utilize my weakness (absolutely horrendous visual memory) into my power (creating many references that help not only me but even other people)

Was ALSO very epic style of me to utilize my OTHER weakness (that very particular attention to details and patterns no sane person would notice that makes me seem 'creepy') into my OTHER power (knowing video game lore so well that people can ask me for theories and ideas and being a detective about Bad Guys)

Honestly, I often feel like there is no inherently bad or weak trait.. Usually you just haven't found how to USE it in the right way. Strongly reminds me of the whole Lilo and Stitch lesson where she'd seek every alien that could only cause problems at the first glance and figured a way to put their ability into a good use for both themselves and the community

[poppyseed799]

Confession that will get me cancelled: I will sometimes reference super mario logan videos cuz I used to watch some. and they were honestly really funny if you ignored the problematic bits.

[teethrotter]

this is one of the first things that comes up when you look into what it might be like to have a borderline partner. tell me again about how bpd is not among the most stigmatized mental conditions ?

[giantkillerjack]

I'm writing and illustrating a trilogy of graphic novels. In the second novel, we are introduced to a disabled vampire character.

They have vampire-related limitations like not going into direct sunlight, getting sleepy in the daytime, and needing to drink fresh blood.

But they also can't fly like other vampires can, and they are significantly physically weaker than most other vampires. They have trouble fully transforming into animals; and they can't get themselves to go invisible except in mirrors and photos, and even then sometimes they have trouble making themselves visible in those mediums. Their hair is generally pretty messy as a result of getting migraines trying to show up in the mirror some days.

They have trouble standing upright for more than a minute without a mobility aid, but they can run and jump pretty fast on all fours using a hybrid animal form.

They have joint pain and chronic fatigue, but thanks to them leaving the evil vampire cult they grew up in, they can now engage with dance magic, dream magic, and music magic in ways that their sires cannot.

When we meet them, they are working with a couple of human friends to do a "reverse Scooby-Doo," in which they are convincing rich people that a patch of community land is haunted in order to preserve the use of the land by the community.

(One of their friends has been blessed by the honey badger god and is ready to FUCK SHIT UP at a moment's notice. The other friend - and leader of their little team - is perhaps the most powerful dance/dream magic user in the world and also a human ray of sunshine!! )

Petition to add more disabled magical creatures in fantasy

Like picture a mermaid. When they have to be on land their tail turns to legs, but because their body is used to lower gravity their joints tire easily and are chronically in pain.

Also depending on how deep in the ocean they live, it’s likely they have circulation problems because their body is used to the water pressure holding everything where it needs to be and now their blood is always fucking pooling in their legs and they have to wear compression socks everywhere.

Wheelchair user mermaids. Partially/fully blind mermaids because who needs to see when there’s no light at the bottom of the ocean?

Mermaids with sensory issues who have to wear headphones all the time because sound is so much louder up here on land and they are constantly overstimulated. And also the sun is simply Too Bright™.

Mermaids who have POTS because in the water postural changes make no difference and their bodies don’t know how to stabilize with so much gravity.

I’m really fixated on the mermaids rn but PLEASE feel more than welcome to add more!!!! I wanna hear about disabled dragons

[akqrus]

Some Adrien anti commented on my post and invalidated Adrien's experience with emotional abuse... I hope u choke on shit 🥺🫶🏼

[unproduciblesmackdown]

saw ppl talking on twitter About It rather than directly what they were talking about when in recent months they were testifying to a Casual R Word Usage increase & i never saw it on twitter b/c yknow for as relatively few ppl as i Ever followed that activity has decreased a lot lately & i don't think i ever followed accounts where it would apply anyway & very rarely look at even Trends or anything else sitewide. but i feel like i'm seeing a bit of it on here more recently at least in recommended posts that are clearly just drawing from very general Humorous Posts genre like yeah that's just uh y2k style rword usage

[llycaons]

the media club host just said late 60s were the weakest episodes of the entire show so far....but heaven's arena is so boring to me that the last time I watched it I decided it would be the last time I'd ever watch the show (reconsidering). they were just extremely long and dry explanations with NO good side characters. sorry zushi, but there isn't a single interesting or likeable or fun thing in that entire arc that could surpass the card game adventure that gon and killua go on with bisky. not until the gon and hisoka fight. edit; okay he took it back lol

[owlbelly]

so. i understand where the sentiment "listening to an audiobook is the same thing as reading the book" is coming from - i mean, yes, the bottom line is you are taking in the same words in what is possibly a more accessible (or maybe just more enjoyable) format for you! and i'm 100% in agreement that "book snobs" who say "no you didn't really read it" if you listened to the audiobook are full of shit. ofc you should engage with stories in whatever way works for you, there is no moral or intellectual superiority to reading words off a page vs. listening to them

but it also is different? an audiobook is a performance. choices a narrator makes about line readings can drastically influence the meaning of the lines. even just different voices, accents, etc. - there are creative choices being made by the person delivering the words to you, and that affects your experience of the story in a different way than if you were making those choices in your own head. it might even change the way you visualize what's going on!

this isn't a bad thing it's just An Actual Thing & i think it's worth talking about. it rubs me the wrong way when people act like accommodations (and for many people audiobooks are an accommodation) always result in a completely identical experience, or even that they should, & if you suggest that people accessing media in different ways are having different experiences it's somehow ableist

anyway on rare occasions i really enjoy audiobooks but mostly they are much less accessible to me than words on a page (i need to be able to reread, flip back and forth, go at my own pace) & i also just really strongly prefer to encounter a text on my own before hearing someone else's performance of it, if possible! again i don't think it's "better" to read a physical book i just think it is a Distinct form of experiencing a story & acting like the two things are entirely the same is sort of doing a disservice to both

[ghstmsk]

filled this out the other day for these two cause idk felt like it. I referred to them as just friends with benefits but theyre in a weird spot where they might actually be dating but no ones sure not even them. I think maybe i don't work with these sorts of templates cause I feel the need to explain a lot i'm very prone to infodumping about my ocs

[nanowired-lover]

How do you explain to your teacher without sounding like you're crazy/lazy that you just had 4 panic attacks that lasted a few hours in the last 3 days, and ever since 2020, your memory loss is getting worse, but you didn't see doctors about it bc you're terrified of them and administrations and you're scared your parents are going to find out how mentally ill you are, so you don't have any fucking paper proof.