#and as much as I’d like to rewatch them I… don’t think I can……..

[poppyseed799]

Confession that will get me cancelled: I will sometimes reference super mario logan videos cuz I used to watch some. and they were honestly really funny if you ignored the problematic bits.

[starbuck]

i truly do not believe in hating characters (they are simply fulfilling their narrative purpose, leave them alone), but i also find it fun to figure out which character i’m the most upset with in a given piece of media and i’ve found one for the show i’m watching… he’s not even top 5 in the rankings of characters who have done the worst shit but, even still, he is not forgiven and he will not see the light of heaven.

[cuteniarose]

ATLA for the ask game!!

*stares blankly at my screen as I try to remember the last time I've felt any strong emotion for an AtLA character*

(no genuinely those guys just kinda Exist to me istg I’m not invested even when I’m actively rewatching the show)

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) – This one’s easy: Azula. One does not simply go through their teenage years as a severely mentally ill girl with a shitty dad and emotionally absent mom who favours the other child and end up normal about Azula lmao. I need any and every canon media to leave her the fuck alone. No I do not have a vision as to what happens to her post canon. Yes I do think that what the creators went with sucks ass and thus is not canon in my multiverse thank you very much

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) – Appa. Just Appa. As a bonus, baby Appa. I need a plush of him more than I need to breathe (though Hanička might get to it so.. how good that idea is may be debatable). Oh, and The Duke. Have you ever seen him hugging Toph in the background of the last episode (I believe)?? Babies, absolute babies, they deserve the world, your honour

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) – …. Mai? I feel like Mai doesn’t get enough love in the fandom. My current objective is trying to get the friend I’m making watch AtLA for the first time like her :P

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) – Okay, I’m gonna be honest, I’ve thought over this one for a good 20 minutes and haven’t been able to come up with anything because I Genuinely Do Not Care That Much, but during this past rewatch I’ve been doing with my friends I have had a *Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme* moment at every reference to Yangchen thanks to A CERTAIN SOMEONE, so… might not be me who never shuts up about her, but she still counts (though I did go on a small infodump when my friend asked me “which one’s that one?” during the Avatar State montage in Book 2 Episode 1, so… perhaps there is more of a case to be made here). Oh, and Smellerbee. I wanna know what Smellerbee’s deal is. No one ever talks about Smellerbee :/

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) – Hama. Partially for Ming-Hua related reasons, partially because I’m obsessed with the concept of bloodbending (and yet cannot give two shits about Amon or Tarrlok 🤔 Hm, correction: the concept of bloodbending women :D), partially because I wholeheartedly believe that she was brought back to the South Pole and she and Kanna got to be lesbians together for whoever many years they had left – side note, how come every bloodbending woman is a lesbian? – and there’s a certain subsection of the fandom who have proven to not be able to be normal about victims of colonisation, hence the “problematic” category. (Also… not a character, but the Great Divide is a fun episode and you all are way too mean about it. Yes, it does have some.. questionable implications, but all the arguments about how it doesn’t further the plot are stupid as fuck because IMO, if we have time for half a dozen random Fire Nation adventures and a whole episode dedicated to Zuko’s sob story and the trashfire that Ember Island Players is, we have time for the Great Divide. Argue with a wall)

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) – Zuko. This is because I do not like him. No further commentary lest this fandom tear me to pieces. And Jet. This is also because I do not like him. And Sokka. But I actually do like him, I just think it’s funny when he suffers (/affectionate)

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) – Pakku. It has been 11 years since I watched AtLA for the first time and never once have I been convinced that Kanna actually married him. Absolutely not, to superhell with you. If there’s any NWT waterbender who deserves to get with Kanna, it’s Yugoda. Hama/Kanna/Yugoda polycule when???

[rainyorca]

I'll swim down with you 𓇼 Kenji Sato X Reader

Content warnings: F!reader, Established relationship, childhood friends, kissing, fluff, a little bit of smut.

Words: 1,916

Notes: Rewatching Ultraman made me realize that Kenji does in fact have pools on his deck but I don't know if they're meant to be swam in, however, i really wanted to write something involving them soooo…..I am very deeply in love with this man and have seen this movie more times than I’ve seen my dad this summer.

𓆉︎ ☼ 𓇼 ☼ ꩜𓆉︎ ☼ 𓇼 ☼ ꩜𓆉︎ ☼ 𓇼 ☼ ꩜𓆉︎ ☼ 𓇼 ☼

The setting sun casts beautiful rays of golden light on the Earth, blanketing everything in warmth. It’s mid-June, which means baseball season is at its all-time high right now. For Kenji, it’s rather exciting but for you, it’s a little upsetting. You don’t get to spend as much time with him anymore due to practice and his games, but you still attend his games, all of them in fact as long as your work schedule doesn't overlap. As well as his duties as Ultraman, sometimes you don't even get to have him in bed next to you. 

You sit in one of the pools on his wooden deck, bathing in sunlight. You like to sit in the water and watch the sunset over the ocean, the view is out of this world. It's one of the many things you like about living with him. Ken is currently at practice, which he has practically been at all day in your mind, then again you left for work early this morning so you haven't seen him at all today. You close your eyes, sinking further into the pool and letting your head rest on the edge. The wood is smooth beneath your head, but you slide your hands under your head for more cushion. There's music playing softly in the background, one of your favorite songs from your favorite playlist. This was your idea of relaxing after work, especially with such a hectic day you had. 

“Ken is home,” Mina’s voice erupts softly from behind you, making you jump. You turn around to face the floating supercomputer. “I'm sorry, did not mean to startle you,” she says, her tone flat as usual. “It's okay,” you smile softly, “thank you for letting me know, Mina.” The floating circle gives you a nod before flying off to greet Kenji. You turn back to the sunset, waiting for Kenji to come by. You can hear him talking to Mina inside but it stops momentarily before starting up again. Kenji’s footsteps could be heard approaching you now, but you're too lost in thought to turn around or even notice.

“Enjoying yourself?” he asks, you can practically hear the smile in his voice. You turn around, smiling when you see him. “I’d enjoy it a lot more if you joined me,” you respond, tilting your head at him. He shakes his head with a smile, “I know, that's why I put my swim trunks on.” You watch him lift his shirt over his head, the golden light hitting his toned body perfectly. He looks warm, and the light makes his skin look supple and soft. He dips his feet in the water, pulling back from the slightly coldness but slowly easing himself in. The water isn’t too deep, he can stand perfectly straight and it only goes to his waist. He rests his back against the edge just like your doing but he follows your movements when you turn around to face the sun. He squints a little, turning his head to look at you rather than the bright sun. “How was your day?” he asks, his voice as soft as silk. You peer into his big gray eyes, resting your head on your hands again. “Hetic,” you respond simply, “How was practice?”

He picks up on the simplicity of your answer quickly, dropping the subject knowing you don't want to go into detail. “Practice was good, but I was a little distracted today,” he responds, reaching up and brushing a water droplet off your face only to get more on you. “Why’s that?” you ask, giggling softly at his failed attempt. “Because I kept thinking about you,” he smiles, almost teasingly because he knows what you’re gonna say. “You’re so corny,” you scoff, smiling brightly, “why were you really distracted?” He shrugs, “I'm serious, I was thinking about you.” There's humor in his voice and his expression is rather playful. You roll your eyes, turning your head to face the sun again. 

His eyes linger on you for a moment, taking in the softness of your face and admiring how your eyes look in the sunlight. A few thoughts from the past show up in his mind, like how upset you were when you found out he had to move back to Japan, or the sweet moments in high school when you went to all the school dances with him. You have always been a special person in his life and for so long, he feels rather grateful that you're back in his life as his lover rather than just a friend. He snakes a hand around your waist, turning you around so you're facing him and not the sun. Your back is pressed up against the edge again and he's standing in front of you, staring down into your eyes. 

“You’re so warm,” he says softly, running his hands up your exposed torso. “I’ve been out here a while,” you respond, reaching up and resting your arms on his broad shoulders. “I can tell,” he hums, reaching up to cup your face with his large, wet hand. “You’re warm too,” you point out, tilting your head a bit so you can melt into his touch. He drops his hand, sneakily lifting you so he's carrying you. You wrap your legs around his waist, holding onto him as he backs up from the wall of the pool. He smiles, spinning you around slowly in the water. You close your eyes, throwing your head back and hanging off him a bit as he spins you. 

There's a mischievous look in his eye, but it all goes away when you dip underwater. He surfaces you quickly, laughing at your surprised expression. “Oh you asshole,” you splash him with water, wetting his hair and face. “I couldn't miss the opportunity, sorry,” he lets go of you, protecting himself from your splashes. You give him your best angry expression, but it doesn't last long. You can't resist his charms, and that award-winning smile always makes you smile. He swims up to you, reaching out to grab you again and pulling you into his chest before you can get away. “I won't do it again, I promise,” he says, shaking his hair and sending water flying. “If you do, we're going to have problems,” you respond, pressing your hands into his chest. 

His eyes glide over your face, his smile still plastered on his lips. He cups your face again, making you tilt your head upwards so he can have access to your lips. He tilts his head a little, leaning in to place a soft kiss on your lips. You kiss him back almost immediately, sliding your hands over his shoulders as you have done before. The soft, pillowy feeling of his lips is enough to send you into a trance, parting your lips for him. Your heart rate spikes a little when you feel him pull you in tighter, his brows furrowing and what seems to have started off as an innocent kiss was now becoming something more euphoric and titillating. He tilts his head a little more, deepening the kiss with a quiet grunt before moving you back to the edge of the pool. Your back hits the smooth edge, the coolness of it suddenly more noticeable. 

His grip on you tightens, his knee coming up to part your legs slowly before pressing into your clothed cunt. The sudden shift in demeanor, and movements, makes you gasp a little. He pulls away slowly, a new look in his lidded eyes. He leans down to kiss the line of your jaw and then your neck. “I haven't been able to give you much attention lately,” he says softly but sensually, “the attention you need and crave.” You tilt your head back just a little to give him more access to your neck. His breath is warm and it fans over your neck, the tickling sensation making goosebumps rise on your skin. His knee presses up against your cunt again, a little harder this time making you squeak in surprise. You lift a leg slightly, opening yourself up more. 

Ken moves his hand down, further and further until stopping at the waistband of your swimsuit bottoms. He slips his lithe fingers underneath the fabric, inching closer and closer to your cunt. His lips find yours again in another aggressive, hungry kiss as if he's trying to devour you through the kiss alone. One of his fingers brushes over your sensitive clit, causing you to startle, and a sharp gasp erupts from your throat. The sound is like music to his ears, the noises you make are just perfect to him. You brace yourself, one hand on the edge of the pool, the other digging into his shoulder while he holds you still. He rubs agonizingly slow circles on your clit, drinking in your expressive behavior, soft moans starting to slide off your sinful tongue. 

You were his weakness, just like he was yours. It was hard to resist him really, a struggle you’ve had since your younger years with him. In moments like these, it was even harder. The sun was still setting on the horizon, however only half of it was visible. The night sky started to pool in, blanketing the sky with specks of stars. He couldn't help himself, hearing your delightful and heavenly moans, he needed to hear more, to feel more. His fingers speed up, rubbing a little harder but oh so perfectly. You part from his lips with a rather pathetic gasp, your mouth staying slightly open as he continues to draw his fingers over your clit. 

He leans in, mouth open against your soft neck, tasting, feeling, the area with his mouth. “I wanna memorize every part of your body,” he hums, breath ragged, “I wanna touch you everywhere, make you mine.” He blabbers, his words digging deep into your core, making you squeeze around nothing. He lifts his head to look at you now, bumping noses as he continues his movements against your clit. His eyes bore into yours, lovingly but lustful. You keep your eyes open, or at least try to. You can't help but close them every time a shock of pleasure rushes up your spine. “I wasn't lying when I told you,” his lips curl into a smug smile, “that I was thinking about you. I’ve been thinking about this all day.” 

“Ken,” you breathe, your moans melodic and messy. “You seem more sensitive than usual,” he points out a little teasingly. That warm tingling feeling starts to build up in your stomach, pleasure shooting up your spine as your climax starts to work its way out of you. Just as you're about to release, Mina’s voice sounds from behind Kenji causing both of you to stop. 

“A phone call from your father, Ken,” she says monotone. Kenji sighs, looks back at Mina, and then back to you, his fingers still positioned on your clit. “Before you try to put it off, it's urgent,” Mina continued before Ken could even speak. He groans, clearly irritated, and then gives you an apologetic look. “I’ll be back,” he says, kissing your forehead before releasing you gently. Your body relaxes, and you catch your breath, watching him get out of the pool and follow Mina into the house. A sigh escapes your lips, irritated but otherwise calm. You decide to stay in the pool until the moon comes up.

𓆉︎ ☼ 𓇼 ☼ ꩜𓆉︎ ☼ 𓇼 ☼ ꩜𓆉︎ ☼ 𓇼 ☼ ꩜𓆉︎ ☼ 𓇼 ☼

[grison-in-space]

Listening to Artificial Condition again, it strikes me how much Murderbot uses empathy reflexively as a survival skill. Look at this bit.

Upon meeting it, ART allows it on board and then announces that it knows that Murderbot is rogue. Then ART threatens to destroy it if it hacks ART's own systems. Murderbot is immediately terrified and shuts down all inputs, gives serious thought to spending the entire three month journey unconscious, and then considers the potential avenues of damage from ART's drones. ART, not realizing why Murderbot had suddenly gone silent, tells it to quit sulking, which understandably pisses off the still-terrified Murderbot. It dumps a bunch of memories of coercive treatment into ART's feed, and ART goes silent.

Then this happens:

Then it said, I’m sorry I frightened you. Okay, well. If you think I trusted that apology, you don’t know Murderbot. Most likely it was playing a game with me. I said, “I don’t want anything from you. I just want to ride to your next destination.” I’d explained that earlier, before it opened the hatch for me, but it was worth repeating. I felt it withdraw back behind its wall. I waited, and let my circulatory system purge the fear-generated chemicals. More time crawled by, and I started to get bored. Sitting here like this was too much like waiting in a cubicle after I’d been activated, waiting for the new clients to take delivery, for the next boring contract. If it was going to destroy me, at least I could get some media in before that happened. I started the new show again, but I was still too upset to enjoy it, so I stopped it and started rewatching an old episode of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon. After three episodes, I was calmer and reluctantly beginning to see the transport’s perspective. A SecUnit could cause it a lot of internal damage if it wasn’t careful, and rogue SecUnits were not exactly known for lying low and avoiding trouble. I hadn’t hurt the last transport I had taken a ride on, but it didn’t know that. I didn’t understand why it had let me aboard, if it really didn’t want to hurt me. I wouldn’t have trusted me, if I was a transport. Maybe it was like me, and it had taken an opportunity because it was there, not because it knew what it wanted.

The thing about Murderbot's survival is that it clearly involves quite a bit of negotiating with other constructs and bots. That's how it talks its way onto cargo hauler bots in the first place. It uses empathy--envisioning the emotional and cognitive context of the individuals it encounters--to work out what different kinds of people want, so that it can offer them fair trades. It also uses empathy to consider what humans might be looking for, so it can practice blending in and hide.

Murderbot would never have survived so long if it wasn't capable of assessing the individual desires of the people--human, bot, and construct--around it. It thinks about ART's probable fears and motivations so that it can consider whether ART is inherently an ongoing threat or a potential ally.

When your survival depends on evading detection, you get really good at assessing perceptual biases so that you can shape yourself to fit into them. People talk about murderbot being radically empathetic as a choice it makes, or as a feature of its personality that makes it a good person. But I think murderbot would be the the first person to tell you that this empathy is part of its threat assessment suite, a skill that was developed out of necessity in order to allow you to survive.

It is also a trait that makes murderbot a good person, of course: it chooses very carefully to try to survive by doing as little harm as possible and by offering things, like media, that buy it access to things it needs. But it started as a survival skill. It's part of hypervigilance.

I think one of the strengths of this series is that so many of the things we love about SecUnit are traits developed for survival in an inherently threatening world. The shape of its mind and heart have been changed by the trauma of its origin--but they don't make murderbot less good for being altered, even if that skill was developed in a traumatic context.

I like that.

[cupcakeslushie]

3am AU idea. As some of y’all might’ve seen, I’ve been doing a Buffyverse rewatch.

Now I’m thinking of an AU where we get to see our human characters shine. April as Buffy OBVIOUSLY. Kendra could be Willow. Casey or my Timothy either could be Xander, but Casey has her whole evil phase and she would also make a good Faith (also the gay Fuffy foil to the Capril pipeline is too good to pass up). Sunita could be Anya (they both have that Autism Queen swag).

A human Splinter could be Giles…just like Giles has his teen punk phase, Splints has his own crazy, pre-Watcher past to reveal.

I just don’t know what I’d want to do with the boys.

(Turtle?) Demons? Or maybe give them human designs and make them Vamps? Oooo like Raph and Mikey somehow got their souls back, and they go to the Slayer to try and get her to help them save Leo and Donnie??

Instead of Shredder being a ninja clan leader, he would be like the ultimate Vamp. He’s the one that turned one of the boys and set him loose on the others to turn them. No idea which order would hurt the most. Thinking either Leo or Mikey. But Michelangelo would probably be more likely to want to change the rest of his family.

Idk. Just spitballing at 3am. I very much wanna draw for this, I hope I can find the time soon. I know I don’t need another au but omg I love BtVS so much lol

lol I did get an ask a while back saying I needed an angsty AU for Raph and Mikey to make the complete set. This could be Mikey’s. Turning your brothers into soulless monsters and damning them for eternity would be pretty good angst.

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

I know it’s an ongoing joke that Will being oblivious to Hannibal’s love for him is ridiculous, considering how obvious Hannibal is, but me being me, I do actually want to take a moment to consider why he doesn’t acknowledge Hannibal’s affection as love initially.

There’s an array of reasons really, ranging from his perception of the Chesapeake Ripper blurring with his perception of Hannibal, how he may not consider Hannibal capable of such a thing, to the fact Hannibal has hurt Will — immensely. Will has been broken down and remade by Hannibal’s very own hands, as Hannibal has been by him. It’s a lot easier to acknowledge how they’ve changed each other, how they are entangled now, than the idea that Hannibal’s feelings towards Will are anything more than fascination, because that would mean acknowledging all that hurt and violence and abuse was Hannibal’s most earnest and deepest form of affection for him, and that he too has begun to see violence as love (it’s why he can’t keep up his life with Molly and Walter, as much as he may care for and love them). It’s a difficult thing for anyone to accept.

He has every right to be in denial about it, to brush off every sign for his own comfort and his own mental safety.

Hannibal’s love for him is like a fire — wild, untamed and likely to burn. Imagine how that might feel to someone with a mind like Will.

I’d also argue that him accepting Hannibal is in love with him would also mean accepting his almost-love for Hannibal, and I really don’t think he wants to do that, which may be a controversial point? Even by the end, he leaves their fate up to chance. The deleted scene of the almost-kiss perfectly conveys Will’s feelings in that moment, at least my perception of it. He may take the fall, but that doesn’t mean he’s in the position to reciprocate Hannibal’s feelings.

“Is Hannibal in love with me?” Doesn’t feel like a total question, more a rip the bandage off type moment.

He already knows the answer.

He just needs someone else to be the one that says it.

TLDR: Will is not oblivious, he’s just traumatised and maybe isn’t fully convinced Hannibal can even feel love. ‘Is Hannibal in love with me?’ Is Will trying to confront something he already knows the answer too, but is scared to address.

I’ll probably do a longer, more well thought out breakdown post around this once I’ve actually finished my rewatch.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Lots of lovely kisses & an unwarranted upset in the standings

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Oct 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Fourever You (Thai Thurs YT) ep 2 of 16 - Yes yes J&J should be first but I am weak in the face of, well, frankly this man's face:

Pond = greatest piner in a dog’s age. The yearning in that boy’s eyes is obscene, it’s like the most explicit sex that only he can see and we’re just voyeurs.

Thus I continue to adore this stupid show and everything it stands for. No notes. May the fluff continue eternal.

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - Everyone is so skilled in this show, but War is truly glorious. Considering the pacing, I think we are probably in for some long periods of darkness, suffering, and pain soon. I’m not mad about that prospect, it’s earned and foreshadowed, I just thought I’d lay it out there.

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 6 of 12 - More boys from GMMTV with good communication. Who knew? Min has SUCH a white knight complex. NO SINGING. Good demanding kiss, though. Well, Ohm can handle anything. 

Meanwhile, this really is a bodyguard romance under another name. And I kinda wanna rewatch Never Let Me Go as a result.

Love Sick 2024 (Thai Sun iQIYI) ep 4 of 15 - Earn remains best boy and my favorite character. Phun is v jelly, as he should be. AND I like Ohm & N'Mik better in this version. I still prefer the original leads, but I’m enjoying this enough. 

I had no idea how much I missed Gunsmile! It’s so nice to see him on my screen again.

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 12 fin - I hate Diew’s mom. Hate her. So much. She may be my least favorite mom ever in BL. That’s saying a lot. No I don’t think she was redeemed. 

Conclusion

Adapted from the novel Godzilla Next Door by Jiwinil about an introvert who lives mostly in his room, until a loud annoying extrovert moves in next door. This was one of my top picks for 2024 and I’m delighted to say it satisfied expectations. A charmingly serene story of opposites attract, that featured good communication, patience, and genuine affection used to build a solid relationship.(I’m particularly delighted that our musician is a drummer and I don’t have to listen to him sing.) Yes it’s a tad slow but it’s very earnest and leans into the kind of sweetness that Thai BL does best. Doesn’t hurt that this starred an actor (Big) that many of us have been hoping would get a lead for years. I was pleased and comforted. This is not a kind of BL that suits everybody, but it suited me admirably. 8/10 

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - Ozone and the Ice Prince (name still unknown) did their little dance. What an earnest and romantic confession from our Icy man. I literally said “no no no just kiss, no foreheads.” And it was a great crying kiss, my favorite. Honestly, that amount of emotion hadn’t been earned by this pair, but I don’t mind. I could watch a whole show just about them. Also woah! Major nekid on YT?

Thailand......

Risking demonetization for arse…...

I guess we’ve all been there. 

Where was I?

I’m happy with this episode since it was mostly my side couple. But the distribution of main couple and side couple and the focus of each episode is wildly erratic with this show. It’s very odd. (And let's be clear we ordered errotic not erratic.)

Every You Every Me (Thai Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Jade and Chin have lived over a thousand lifetimes. In each one they somehow manage to fall in love with each other. (This pair, TopMick was piloted in a My Universe ep, that was one of the only ones I liked.) Soulmate premise is a mix of Color Rush and La Pluie. Frankly, this isn’t as good as either, but it’s enjoyable in a slow cheerful way. Especially if you like this particular set of tropes. It’s quietly lovely and I like the leads. Sunshine is very very sunshine and our tsundere is a grumpy mysterious nerd. Trigger for domestic abuse. It looks like each episode is gonna be a completely different meet cute with the same pairing. It’s more linked vignettes than any overarching story. So if you don’t like this pair, you won’t like this series.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 9 of 10 - More sports day. (Everybody’s doing sports days right now.) Random sides kissing. Where did the glasses person come from? Was he introduced and I forgot about it? Oh that’s the evil cousin! Okay… anygay. Sides randomly flip-flop who they like and I don’t know what the fuck is going on. This show. I swear. Ooo caught kissing. And… killed? What a mind fuck of a soap opera. Honestly, I’m fine if he’s dead, I don’t care at this point I just feel jerked around. 

For some reason no eng sub for me for the first half. So I watched with Spanish subs (which is about as good as my Thai, only for different words). What a wild experience.

Bad Guy My Boss (Thai Sun Gaga) ep 4 of 10 - Oh dear. I just can’t imagine ever rooting for this couple. Which means… Why am I watching this? 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

My Damn Business (Korea Sat YT) eps 1-2 of 7 - Oh I love it. Casual flirty westernized-style boss. Reserved reluctant cutie (yes we’ve seen the actor before). Is it disgusting workplace harassment? Oh most certainly. Do I enjoy it anyway? Yep, I’m warped. No defense, but at least it’s something from Korea. 

Teenager Judge (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 3 of ? - I like the lead being bullied and pushed to his limit thus turning into a psychopath. It’s gonna be a fun ride if it really goes Devil Judge just teens and actually gay. I wonder if it has the strength of its convictions? 

Our Golden Times (Hong Kong YT) 5 fin? - I guess that is the reunion? What an odd little piece. I’m not entirely sure what I feel about it except that this feels more BL than anything Hong Kong has given us so far (which isn't much). The subs are truly terrible. Since I speak absolutely zero Cantonese I can’t really fix them in my brain. I thought this was the final ep but then a teaser for ep 6 dropped so I we have at least one more. 

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) ep 10 of 12 - It was a nice, if entirely unearned reunion. And the leads do kiss beautifully. Trust Taiwan. I am so glad that Orca is back! There was even a little language play flip-flopping just for me. Very cute. Also GREAT kissing. How long have we been waiting for Thailand and Taiwan to kiss? 

Eccentric Romance (Korea Weds Viki) eps 1-2 of 12 - Silkwood’s 2nd Thai/Korean colab. This has been in production since 2022 which is a LONG time in the BL world (worrying). But I like the concept: friends of 10 years who’ve been hiding feelings for each other enter the same university. Plus MURDER. Stars Yoon Jun Won (The Man BLK) and Thai actor Save Saisawat (Ai Long Nhai). I begin to think every The Man BLK member will eventually lead out a BL at this point.

It’s enjoyable in a weird way. Grumpy (hottie with a crush) + sunshine (captain oblivious). I gotta say, since this is the second relationship dual lingo style in our BL rn that it’s ALWAYS weird if the other half doesn't occasionally code switch languages, especially for specific words. In other words, the Korean dude is supposed to at least understand Thai, occasionally he’s should use a Thai world to get a point across. And the Thai dude is there to STUDY KOREAN, he should be slipping in and out of Korean regularly. Bah. 

It's airing but...

Love is Like a Poison AKA Doku Koi: Doku mo Sugireba Koi to Naru (Japan Tues Netflix?) 5 of 10 eps - I never managed to get hold of ep 5. Frankly, it’s going to Netflix (I don’t subscribe) so I might not finish this out of sheer laziness. 

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Gangster and His Boyfriend (Korea ????) 8 eps? - was supposed to air 10/10 Kim Dong Bin (famous trainee & idol reality competitor, yeah that happens) stars as a fallen idol who unexpectedly becomes entangled in a gangster family. Discovers that his friend’s father is responsible for the murder of his entire family years ago. I don't know much about this one, neither does anyone else and I'm not sure where I got that release date so……

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

Still Coming Oct 2024:

10/17 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo (Korea Thurs Gaga) 8 eps - High school student Do Hoe lives with his violent and brutal father who runs a Taekwondo gym in a rural area. One day, cheerful Ju Young arrives, he dreams of going to college for Taekwondo. Joy begins to fill Do Hoe's dark life. An unexpected incident forces them apart, they reunite ten years later.

10/21 Love in the Big City (Korea ????) 8 eps - Okay, this is both a movie (already out) and a series. Neither one is likely BL and I can't imagine it will end happily. I'm giving both a pass but here's your synopsis.

Cynical fun loving student Young pinballs from home, to class, to on night stands. He and Jaehee, his female besie and roommate, frequent nearby bars where they push away their worries about life, love, and money with soju and hookups.

10/23 See Your Love (Taiwan Weds Gaga & Viki) 10 eps? - Zi Xiong, a third-generation heir, attempting to flee from taking over their family business, meets and falls in love with Shao Peng, who works as a hearing-impaired nurse. From the same production house as Kiseki Dear To Me in partnership with Shinehouse Theatre, funded by Taiwan’s BIGART + Japan's Rakuten (Viki). Show includes Lin Chia Yo (Be Loved in House: I Do). Director Chiang Ping Chen’s childhood experiences with his deaf uncle have inspired the drama.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Addicted Heroin

Incidentally he didn’t ask to “be with Ter” he asked if he could flirt/court him. jeeb doesn’t really have a direct translation, but it isn’t “be with.” 

Fourever You

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in its infinite wisdom doesn't like too many at-ings.

[violettwrites]

trust i seek, and i find in you — daryl dixon

a/n: hi guys ! sorry it’s been a little while, i’ve honestly not had much motivation but i managed to get this out for the person that requested ! i think i may have a little writers block, but i’m gonna try and rewatch twd to help me out with my inspo 🫶🏻 i apologise that it’s short, but hey, what can we do !

if you enjoy my writing, please don’t forget to like, reblog, and/or comment ! your support always means the world to me 🫶🏻 requests are currently closed, but i will be opening them up soon hopefully !

summary: daryl thinks he isn’t good enough for you because he’s too “old”

requested: @/nuhogom requested; could you do an age gap fic with daryl? reader is well into her/their 20’s though!! i’d love a secret relationship too! maybe if it’s set in twd, it’s because daryl is still kinda insecure etc.

warnings: none ! a bit of angst maybe???

word count: 879

resources: divider by @/adornedwithlight

➵ rules

➵ masterlist

➵ ask box

it was late at hilltop, and the faint hum of crickets mixed with the occasional groan of a walker beyond the walls. inside, everything felt peaceful. you sat in your little trailer, curled beneath a blanket, waiting for daryl. he didn’t stop by every night, much to your dismay, but you could always sense when he would. there was something between you—something electric, fragile, and unspoken, like a current neither of you dared disturb.

a soft knock echoed through the quiet, followed by the slow creak of the door opening. there he was, crossbow slung over his shoulder, eyes a mix of stoic and softened by the dim light of your trailer. his gaze found yours immediately, warm and inviting.

“thought you weren’t comin’,” you said, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself as you watched him, your eyes tracing every one of his movements.

“had to finish a run for tara,” he muttered, voice low and gravelly. he didn’t need to explain further—his presence was enough. it always had been. words had never been necessary between the two of you.

you’d been seeing each other for months now, in secret. daryl, being in his forties, knew that people would talk if they found out. they’d whisper, judge, say you were too young for him, too bright for someone as worn as him. he hated the idea of being the one to pull you into those whispers, to tarnish you with their judgments. but at the same time, he couldn’t stay away.

you didn’t care about any of that, though. not in a world like this. what did other people’s opinions matter when survival was all that was left?

“no one’s gonna know,” you whispered, sitting up a bit and placing a hand on his arm. “it’s just us here.”

he hesitated, glancing away for a moment before his eyes settled back on you. “it ain’t right. yer young. people’ll talk, make it worse.”

you could see the conflict in his eyes, the way his need to protect you warred with his desire to be close. but you weren’t a kid anymore. you were capable of making your own decisions, and you had chosen him.

“i don’t care what they think,” you said softly but firmly. “none of that matters. i care about you—that’s all i need.”

daryl sighed, his shoulders sagging slightly as he shook his head, but his hand found yours. his fingers, rough and calloused from years of surviving, wrapped gently around yours. he pulled you closer, tucking you under his arm as you leaned into him, your head resting against his chest. his other arm came around you, solid and protective, as though he were the only thing standing between you and the chaos of the world outside.

“don’t know why you want someone like me,” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to you.

you tilted your head to look up at him, his expression clouded with doubt. “i want someone like you because you’re kind, and you care more than you let on. you see me for who i am, not for who people think i should be.”

his brow furrowed slightly, the weight of your words sinking in. it wasn’t often that anyone took the time to look past the walls he kept up, and fewer still bothered to try.

you pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “stop worrying about them. it’s just us.”

daryl didn’t reply, but his arms tightened around you, pulling you in until you were practically in his lap. your head rested against his chest, and you listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your ear, a sound that brought you more comfort than you ever thought possible.

his fingers slowly combed through your hair as the silence stretched between you, easy and familiar. your eyes drifted closed, feeling the tension seep out of him as his body relaxed against yours. this was a side of him no one else saw—vulnerable, unguarded, and you cherished it, every rare moment of it.

time seemed to blur, the rest of the world fading away as you sat there together. daryl’s hand never stopped moving through your hair, his touch so tender it was hard to believe it came from someone so hardened by life.

“i ain’t good at this,” he mumbled after a while, his voice low and almost apologetic. “don’ know how to do relationships—how to… be what you need.”

you lifted your head, meeting his gaze. “you’re already everything i need, daryl.”

his eyes softened at your words, the usual tension in his features melting away. he leaned in slowly, pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to your lips. it wasn’t rushed, as though he wanted to savor every second, commit it all to memory.

when you finally pulled back, you rested your forehead against his, breathing him in. “i’m not going anywhere,” you whispered. “not unless you want me to.”

he shook his head, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. “ain’t ever gonna want that.”

your heart swelled at his words, and you smiled, nestling back into his chest, his arms keeping you close, holding onto you like you were his anchor in the storm.

and for now, that was all that mattered.

[alxxbee]

Ok, I just saw your redesign of Lucifer for the 2P AU you did and I honestly like it a bit better than in the show, he actually feels prideful here since purple is in fact the biblically accurate color of Pride! :D

Also making him a brunette and adding bright blues (a biblically accurate color of Sloth) as accents was a nice choice :) and the golden eyeshadow! :)

But does he still rule Hell in the AU with Alastor coming from Heaven? And what's the latter's role IN Heaven?

(I’m actually not very familiar with 2P lore if there really even is one but i’ll try))

((i also haven’t rewatched the show since it literally came out i maybe have forgor about like many things LMFAO))

(this also got deleted like twice and i’m pissed for rewriting this again)

(anyways here’s 2P Lucifer in my own interpretation)

2P Luci thrives in being alone, finding comfort and strength in it rather than misery. He doesn’t mind ruling Hell on his own. He doesn’t need anybody and doesn’t want anybody. His relationship with 2P Lilith has broken apart completely, due to their different views on redemption and the treatment of sinners. 2P Lilith is tricky since we know almost nothing of her, but i believe that she harbors a deep disdain for Hell and rejects the idea of controlling sinners for personal gain

BUUUUT something that has been in my mind recently is how he is essentially the embodiment of Pride.. but since 2P is (technically) the opposite of something (an inversion) The opposite of pride would be HUMILITY. Instead of making him a sad, insecure ruler, ..I’d like to think he thrives on human’s insecurities, fear, humiliation and self-doubt instead.. (rather than in the show he puts ON a prideful face when in reality he’s quite timid and socially awkward))

His relationship with 2PAlastor is quite decent (2P radioapple 🙂‍↕️) they still bicker but not in a hateful way like they do in the show, lighthearted jokes and banter, reflecting a mutual respect. (Lucifer knows how sensitive 2P Al is, and despite flourishing in humans despair and emotions, He has a soft spot for 2P Al.) ..Oh and they do not try to win over Charlie’s affection, ((2P Charlie actually does not really gaf about them XD))

Does not care for Heaven.. maybe even hates. but is not emotionally affected by his fall, I don’t know if Lucifer actually misses Heaven in the show, we can see how deeply affected he still is by their rejection of his creativity.

so i guess id like to think instead of him feeling hurt or betrayed(?), he feels somewhat thankful. Thankful that he was able to flourish in HIS ideas at last, finally seeing the evil of the world like he intended to.. destroying the order Heaven worked hard to maintain. Maybe he wanted Eve to bite the apple because he WANTED evil to come and corrupt the world, He knew what came with free will. He was a rebellious angel who went against Heaven in every way, intentionally with malice. Implying that Lucifer does not regret his role in giving sinners free will. He also cares for his sinners but not in a good way, more like he wants as many as possible so he could one day potentially top over heaven in power. A power hungry bastard.

He is serious, and a realist. NOT goofy and silly lmao. (Though he has goofy moments i shall not strip him of his whimsical fun entirely)

2P Lucifer and Original Lucifer share some similar qualities aswell. Something Both 2P Luce and Original Luce have in common is that they love Charlie.. and will protect her at all costs. Luci actually maintains a positive relationship with his daughter, He is close with her and tries to be in her life like a good father should, but 2P Charlie doesn’t usually give him the time of day. although she can be quite mean, and not the bubbly type at all like she is in the show, she still loves her father to a certain extent.

Again, we don’t really know much about the characters and the family’s history in the show.. And until we do, everything i said could be changed completely!! Like i said this is something for fun!! I haven’t really been thinking much about this AU, i designed him as a silly redraw but if i ever in the future add more details to his lore i will 🫶

Oh and as for the relationship with Original Alastor and 2P Luci…

Ok that’s all idk i don’t write for a reason 💀💀💀 💔

[sorreltail]

i commissioned this pmv from @mudshadow a few years ago and it is really just so exemplary. have a watch :)

HERE is the script i’d written back in 2019, it’s real bare bones bc i never got past deciding what i wanted to do with it before surprise money meant i decided i wanted to commission hannah… i thought… only someone with a PHD in whitestorm can pull this off properly!!!! i just sent the script as is and said use it as a base but change whatever u want/need to make it work better in terms of flow or story or what have u… (this was the perk of trusting her w my LIFE to improve it lol) i don’t think a lot was changed in the end because:

the comic book styling and panelling was her idea, partly to minimise the amount of drawing required (especially backgrounds!!!) and partly to better cram in all my ideas while still maintaining a nice flow and like….looking good. being understandable. it was a very effective way to keep the workload down- a pmv with backgrounds or fullbodies for every shot or every scene even would’ve either sent the cost out of my budget or meant she was undercharging. being 4 years ago i don’t remember exactly how much it was but i think over 1K.

in the end the comic book look worked out much better than anything else would have- it’s so dynamic, it creates all these gorgeous and impactful transitions and compositions, it lends itself to some funny and creative shit and it just looks great. i’m so delighted with what hannah did, i adore this video, i watch it over again constantly. also, every time i rewatch it, i forget about blue eyed fireheart and then smile. it’s such a great little design. his green eyes are so iconic that nobody ever changes them but he does just look so cute with blue eyes. thank u hannah for my life

ALSO, this pmv has made me learn that i notice shit in songs that other people simply do not because the amount of ppl who have said to me that they’ve never heard the “fuck” at the start of this song has bewildered me!!!!!!!!!!

[voidsaez]

◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ׁ ˙ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ׁ ˙ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ׁ ˙ ◞ ྀི◟ ͜ ◞ ྀི ◞

— for eternity. ( gally tmr x reader ) abuse !!

a/n : monthly post coz i never use tumblr lol, anyways i rewatched the first tmr movie n i realized hes lowkey insane

summary : after thomas found a way out, you’ve been clung to his every word. your boyfriend, isn’t happy.

There was nothing more Gally could ever ask for. You, him, and the rest of the Glade living in peace—a perfect harmony.

For months now, everything had been great. The two of you became a rare constant in a world filled with uncertainty.

He’d never felt more secure, more alive, than with you by his side. That was, until Thomas arrived.

In less than a week, the newcomer had somehow found a way out—an escape. You were overjoyed at the prospect of freedom.

Gally? Not so much.

-

“We don’t need to leave!” His voice cracked with urgency as he cupped your face, trembling thumbs pressing into your skin.

“Isn’t this enough? You have me—we can stay here. Forever.” His words came out rushed, his tone laced with desperation.

You shove at his hands, trying to make him pull away. “Are you insane? We’ve finally found a way out! After three years!”

His gaze hardened, his grip tightening. “Don’t you see?” He pleads, his voice frantic and pleading at the same time.

“Out there, it’s worse! You’ll see! This place, the glade—it’s safe. We’re safe here.”

You could see his demeanor changing, his eyes wild. It was love—yes, but it was twisted, fevered, consumed by desperation.

“You think it’s better out there?” He spat out, his voice a harsh whisper. “You think you’ll survive out there? you won’t.”

His grip tightened, to the point you felt like your bones were about to crack. Like it was more a warning than a plea.

“Let go!” You yelled out, shoving at his chest, but he didn’t budge.

He laughed, hard, cold, humorless. “You think they care about you, huh? Thomas? Teresa? They’ll leave you to die once it gets hard.” He says.

“But not me.” He says, his voice softening, almost sounding tender. “I’d never let that happen to you, I’ll protect you.”

“Protect me?” You snarled, “This isn’t protection, Gally, this is madness!”

His jaw clenched, clear displease in his eyes. “Madness? no, no. Madness is trusting them.” He says, with a deranged smile.

“Madness is thinking they’ll get us out of here alive.” He continues on. “You don’t get it, do you?” He asks.

“Thomas. Thomas is the problem—him and Teresa, they’re the reason we’re suffering! If it weren’t for them, we’d be happy.”

What the hell is he trying to say?

He speaks with innuendo, his words starting to sound past insane. “What are you saying?” You ask, stomach twisting.

His smile widened, almost dangerously. “I’m saying,” he said slowly, “we don’t need them. The Grievers, they’re hungry.“

Your blood ran cold. “They’ll take care of Thomas and Teresa. All we have to do is offer them over to the Grievers.” He says.

“You’re not serious,” You whispered, horrified. He was starting to lose it.

“Why?” He asks, stepping closer again. “They’re a threat, baby. To me. To you. To us. I won’t let them take you from me.”

“Gally,” You breathed, your voice trembling. “This isn’t you. You don’t mean this.”

He reached for you again, his hands almost gentle this time, but the madness in his eyes didn’t fade. “I mean every word,” he said.

“I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. Even if it means sacrificing them. Even if it means..” He trails off, looking at you.

You used to love his smile, the way he rarely ever did made you feel special, like his smile was reserved for only you.

But then, he smiled again, sharp and terrifying. He’s gone. That isn’t him.

“Don’t do this, Gally, don’t make me hate you.” You say, stepping back away.

His expression softened, “You’ll thank me one day.” He says, simply.

The sound was sickening. His fist slamming into you. A sharp crack that echoed in your ears, while your body went limp.

-

You weren’t his partner anymore.

You were his prisoner.

[inkybyl]

The Bad Batch x Fem!Pregnant!Reader

18+, suggestive themes! Minors DNI

Part 2 is here!:

A/N: So I’ve been on nothing but a Bad Batch binge - I finally got around to watching it a couple months ago and rewatched it the other day! Since then I’ve been (shamefully) reading nothing but Bad Batch/Clone Wars Fics 🫣 I’m absolutely in love with the community and can’t help but kick myself for waiting so long to watch it.

I couldn’t help but write something to get it out of my head. I’ve already written part of a Bounty Hunter Reader x TBB and sent it to my friend 😔 🫣 This, however… I don’t think I can send to people IRL lmfao. I’ve also remembered that people can post whatever they want to their own accounts and I thought, ‘why the hell not?’ I think the last time I ever posted a fic anywhere was back in the golden days of Wattpad many, many years ago. (This’ll be the first fic I’d of ever posted on Tumblr 🫣)

Word Count: 3.7k

Content Warnings:

Wrote this on my phone with zero plot about it!! (Copy & pasted directly from Notes so the paragraph spacing might be weird)!

I lowkey just wanted to write a cute dynamic between the boys + reader… 🫣

Not Proofread, rushed ending!

Reader’s Relationship with Omega is PLATONIC!

Fem!Reader, Pregnant!Reader, POLY!BadBatch (the Reader is in an established relationship with the boys), (I didn’t write as much as I would’ve liked about the pregnancy because I got super embarrassed and self conscious with myself), Suggestive Themes - mentions/thoughts of oral! Mainly fluff, wholesome and domestic dynamics with the Batch + Omega. Slight Spoilers for TBB Ending, not really, but just in case!

(Set post-TBB ending + Tech is alive for the sake of this fic!)

“Wrecker! Can you come and help me out, pleeease~?”

You called out from your bed, snuggling into the covers further. Wrecker had heard your voice from his seat in the dining room amongst his brothers, immediately scraping it backwards and nearly toppling over. He rushed from his unsteady position towards the room, unbeknownst to him that his brothers had followed with the same urgency.

“Mesh’la! Are you alright?!” He hurried, skidding into the bedroom and kneeling by the bed, his hand capturing yours as the boys stood by the door.

With a giggle, your other hand came to his cheek, “Of course, my beloved.” He breathed a sigh of relief, as did the rest of them, leaning into your touch while placing a delicate kiss to your wrist. “Then… what-uh.. what’d you need help with, Sarad?” He asked gently, looking into your eyes.

You smiled, eyes flicking to the rest of the batch, knowing that they hoped you couldn’t see them - but you had been a member of their squad for too long, been their partner for too long to know exactly when they were looking out for you. It warmed your core as you brought your hand to your enlarged belly underneath the covers, placing a gentle kiss onto Wrecker’s nose.

“Could you get me something sweet? I’m not sure what we’ve got left in the kitchen apart from the fish you and Crosshair had caught.” You hummed, a mischievous grin playing on your face as you heard Crosshair click his tongue. Wrecker laughed loudly, “Of course, Mesh’la! But is that all ya’ wanted? I can always get you more than that!” He grinned, not realising Tech had walked into the room to kneel down next to his larger brother, eyes and fingers engrossed in his data pad, “I have to interject, cyar’ika. Too many sweet treats may affect you and, or the baby.”

“Awh, don’t worry, Tech! I haven’t had that many!”

“This will be your fifth of the day.”

Wrecker laughed at his brother’s quip, Hunter and Crosshair walking into the room this time, the Sergeant sitting by your feet whilst the Sniper sat behind your back. “Are you surprised? Our Riduur is carrying Wrecker’s baby.” Crosshair said to Tech, earning a playful scoff coming from the largest of the group. Wrecker turned to look at Hunter with you, both of you attempting your best pouts, “Pleeease?” You asked sweetly, earning a sigh from the tired leader.

You had always tried to sway Hunter to have him wrapped around your finger, usually it always worked in your favour, but since you fell pregnant he’s been able to put his foot down a lot more than before. “You heard Tech, Cyar’ika. Why don’t we get you something different this time?” He offered with a small smile, his hand rubbing up and down your calf over the covers. “We can comm Echo, he should still be at the market with Omega.”

With a soft hum, your finger patted your chin. You really wanted something sweet but you knew your boys were looking out for you, albeit they might go over the top, but it was all you could ever ask for.

You smiled softly at him, “Okay, Hunter.” You grinned, laughing at the visible tension leaving his shoulders at your agreement.

Crosshair’s bionic hand had slowly made its way to your shoulder - the skinnier brother of the group had always struggled to show his affection for you in front of anyone else, but with recent events, he found himself ignoring any teasing that he thought would come his way. “Why don’t we meet them halfway?” He murmured, “You haven’t had any fresh air today.” He told you simply, raising an eyebrow when you whined, “But I’ve had the window open all day!”

“An open window does not give you the same benefits of going outside for a walk, cyare. The benefits that would bode well for you would be the exercise, additionally the—“, “Yeah, yeah, Tech, she knows!” Wrecker interrupted with a gentle nudge to his shoulder. Wrecker turned his face back to yours, leaning his cheek on the mattress to brush his nose with yours, “C’mon, Mesh’la. Cross’s right, let’s get you outside for a li’l bit.” He spoke with his softer tone that he knew you loved and could never say no to.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you attempted to look as though you were physically fighting off your partner’s cuteness, dramatically letting out an exasperated breath, “Fine, I suppose I should.” You sighed, hiding your smile when you could see them relax slightly. “And don’t worry, Mesh’la, I’ll carry you up the hill if your feet get sore!” Wrecker grinned, his hands coming underneath your arms to gently pull you out of bed and to your feet. You hummed in appreciation as his hands drifted to your belly, his eyes softening at the bump beneath your dress.

Crosshair and Hunter stood from the bed while Tech stood from his previously knelt position next to Wrecker, his hand gingerly coming to yours. “If you require assistance walking down the steeper parts of the way, you may hold onto me. I-If you require.” Tech offered, the rim of his goggles hiding majority of his awkward blush. However, just like how Crosshair’s would, the tips of his ears were brighter than anything and had earned a chuckle from the Sniper, “Smooth, Vod.”

You placed a kiss to the tip of Tech’s nose like you had with Wrecker, gently squeezing his hand in appreciation and looking between them, “Thank you both, and you’re right Wrecker, I might need a hand coming back up. And I’ll take you up on that offer, Tech.” You smiled kindly, addressing both of their offers before stretching, walking past Hunter and towards the refresher. “But first, I need to get freshened up, are you okay to wait for me at the door?” You asked, fluttering your eyes at the group, innocently connecting your hands behind your back. With a subtle blush from each of them, they nodded, hastily leaving the room to you for you to get ready.

You were quicker than you were expecting, walking into the dining room to see Hunter on his comm talking to Echo. “Yeah, we’ll be leaving soon - are you and Omega okay to wait up for us?” You smiled as you heard Omega’s excited chatter from the small device, grabbing your bag and slipping on your sandals. Wrecker had taken notice of you when you slipped your shoes on, walking over to you and gently taking the bags from your hands, “Wrecker, don’t be silly - I can carry bags at least.”

“Don’t you worry, Mesh’la. You leave all the work to us.” He beamed, placing a kiss to your lips with a soft squeeze on your shoulder.

You both walked over to the rest of the batch, Tech walking over to your side while Hunter and Crosshair stood by the door, adjusting their bags and taking one last look around your house to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything. Tech slid his hand into yours, and with a gentle squeeze began walking with you out of the door. “Now, cyare. Is there anything else that is calling to your cravings?” He asked, “Apart from anything highly concentrated with sugar for the time being.”

You giggled, looking behind at the group, “That depends… who’s cooking tonight?” The boys looked amongst one another until Crosshair spoke up with a tone of boredom, “Echo.”

“Wait, but isn’t it—“

“Echo.”

You laughed at his adamance, “Does Echo know that? Didn’t he cook last night?”

Crosshair shrugged, placing a toothpick between his lips as you all began your descend to the market stalls. “If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll know it’s his turn to cook.”

Wrecker let out a boisterous laugh, nudging Crosshair’s shoulder, “You can admit ya like Echo’s cooking ya’ know, Cross!” Hunter gently shook his head as the Sniper grunted in protest. “As long as we’re not eating rations again, I don’t mind cooking.” The leader offered, catching up to you and Tech to talk about what you could eat, or rather, what Tech thought was best for you to eat.

It wasn’t long before you reached the bustling stalls of the island, many locals nodding and greeting you all politely, some even asking you how you were getting along. You looked along the crowd, searching for Omega and Echo until you looked up to one of the lamp posts in the distance, “Ah, there’s Omega!” You cheered, pointing and waving at the young girl.

Omega had climbed the foundation of the lamp to get a better look over the crowd, and once she had caught eyes on you with her brothers, she began to wave excitedly, looking down to probably alert Echo. She leapt down and you could only imagine she was running towards you all.

As soon as you saw a flash of her white hair in the crowd you ran ahead of the boys, all of their breaths hitching as they shouted after you to slow down. With an excited giggle you opened your arms for a hug from Omega, spinning her around and squeezed her closer to you. “Ahh, I missed you so much Omega!” You chirped, giving her cheek a gentle peck before ruffling her hair affectionately, “Hey!” She giggled, swatting your hand away, “You saw me this morning!” She said to you with a big smile as you sighed, “I know, and I’ve been stuck with your brothers since then!” You joked as they caught up to you both, Wrecker panting with a worried expression. Omega grinned at Wrecker, giggling a little at his concern before giving your belly a cute kiss and gave you another tight squeeze before running over to her brothers, hugging them all the same. Wrecker walked over to you, his expression still one of concern, “Mesh’la… you scared me, what if you tripped? What.. what if you’d fallen…?” He whispered, his hand coming down to your belly. Your eyebrow raised as you tilted your head, still smiling at him as you didn’t want to undermine his concern for you. “Oh, love… I understand that you— you’re all concerned for me, but don’t forget I was a soldier too. I can handle myself.” You told him, your hand coming to meet his on your bump.

His brows furrowed in thought, knowing that you were more than capable of protecting yourself and his little one - even before the batch had met you, but it didn’t mean he didn’t worry. The first time you had gotten intimate with the boys they had spent, what felt like, hours kissing the scars you’d received in your battles alongside the 501st. You were more than capable of handling yourself.

And that was exactly what worried them.

Your mind still lingered around the days that you were a field medic, a skilled one at that. You knew your way around a blaster and had certainly gotten familiar with the trigger of one. You could patch up a whole squad alongside Kix whilst fighting off any enemies that came your way, a protectiveness in your eyes, and actions, that Clone Force 99 got to witness firsthand when you were assigned on your first mission with them.

You knew that sometimes they would long for the battlefield, and they knew you longed for it, too. It was in their nature to long for it, they knew nothing else, they were made for it - however you chose to sign up with the republic, you had chosen to train to help the clones and Jedi with their battles across the galaxy.

They thanked the Maker that you were assigned to their squad just that one time.

You never left them.

They saw firsthand how much you cared for them, how you refused to see them as, “expendable”. They would shower you with affection alongside your markings, but you would show theirs far more delicate care, ‘A woman’s touch…’ You had told them, disguising your affections with small tales and fibs.

At the time, you hadn’t the words to convey to them how much you cared about them, how their mistreatment angered you, despite of all of their successful missions.

But having been with them for as long as you had now, you made it a daily goal to remind each of these boys how much they had meant to you, especially now you were carrying a child within you. You’d be damned if any of them died on you now.

Wrecker knocked himself back into the present when your hand graced his cheek, “Cyare?” Your voice broke through to him.

He managed a breathless chuckle, his small reminisce on the old days had brought a smile to his face, kissing your palm with a fondness he knew you’d pick up on, “… I know you can handle yourself… that’s what worries me.” He joked, earning a loud laugh from you, gaining curious glances from the rest of the squad. You hadn’t realised that Echo was behind you during Wrecker’s space-out, gently tapping his scomp into your side, “You’re not running around and causing trouble, are you, Mesh’la?” He asked.

Placing a kiss to Wrecker’s cheek, you turned your face over your shoulder to see the ARC trooper grinning at you, dressed in comfortable slacks as his arm wrapped around your waist, his forearm taking some of the weight off of your belly that let you sigh in relief, “Thank you, Echo… And of course not! Who do you think I am?!” You jested, motioning to yourself as both men stared at you unimpressed.

“Our troublesome medic.”

They answered for you, Wrecker leaning in to your right, and Echo leaning in for your left cheek, leaving their kisses on your soft skin with a shy squeal from you. “Hey, we still need to grab some things for our dinner tonight!” You protested, playfully swatting the men away, your arm resting atop your stomach as Wrecker placed his arm around your shoulder affectionately.

“Ah, I already grabbed some things, I thought we could have either this for our dinner or—“ Echo started, showing you a bag full of goodies you hadn’t noticed until now, listing the many dinner options you all could have thanks to the mother-trooper of the group.

Wrecker and you had exchanged a glance before giggling softly, not wanting to make Echo think he’d said something wrong, “What’s up with you two?”

“Nothing, Echo.” You grinned, holding his hand, “We’re laughing because on the way here, we were joking about who was going to make the dinner-“

“Crosshair wanted it to be you!”

“But Hunter’s offered to make it, if you don’t want to.” You explained, smiling softly at your massive partner interrupting you from excitement, grinning at Echo’s stunned face.

He glanced at his shopping bag before looking over at the leader of the group, “Oi, Hunter,” he called, gaining his attention, “Catch.” He said simply, skilfully throwing the bag in his Vod’s direction and smiling once Hunter had caught it, “Figure out what you can make with that.” He teased, his arm wrapping around your back alongside Wrecker’s, “I haven’t been able to spend any time with our lovely Cyar’ika since this morning.” Echo explained, staring down at you with an expression full of endearment.

Leaning into the men’s warmth, your little group continued to walk around the stalls, Hunter looking rather pensive as he began to take his duty as cook seriously, looking for herbs and spices to go with whatever he had planned. Omega would chip in with throwing in random ingredients, charming Hunter with her innocent smile as he would look to Tech to fact check what she had thrown in.

Crosshair, trying his best to remain as enigmatic as he could, kept a close eye on what was going to be involved in your dinner, whispering to Tech and double checking if you would be okay eating certain things. The thought behind his actions warmed your heart, but you knew that you wanted to relax - and you wanted the boys to feel the same. “Cross, we’re not going to get poisoned any time soon.” You joked, looking at him with a raised brow as your arms were still interlocked with Echo and Wrecker, enjoying the time you were able to spend with them on this walk.

Crosshair scoffed, acting as though he wasn’t looking out for you, “Who knows what Hunter’s grabbing? Might make the dinner taste like osik.” He huffed, his ears tinging with a soft blush much like Tech’s would. Hunter whipped around to glare at his brother with a growl, deciding against arguing with his youngest in public before rolling his eyes. You giggled, softly sliding out of Echo and Wrecker’s arms with a soft kiss to each of their cheeks, walking over to the leader of the squad, your hand gracing his shoulder comfortingly, “Don’t worry, Sergeant. The dinners you make are always lovely,” you complimented, sending a playful glare towards Crosshair.

The meals that Hunter would make would always end up being on the blander side, none of you the heart to break it to him that his portioning of herbs and spices did nothing for your own tastes. He could pick up on the faintest of seasonings and at times he’d forgotten it wasn’t the same for you all. It wasn’t until Crosshair used it against him in one of their arguments that Hunter’s world dawned on him.

“For the last time, you need to stop antagonising anyone who comes near us! It nearly cost us missions in the past, and now you’re pissing off the neighbours! Guess who has to apologise, because it’s sure as hell never you?!”

“Yeah, well maybe I wouldn’t be so pissed off all time if it wasn’t for your shit cooking. Your cooking tastes like shit, Hunter. It’s shit.”

When Crosshair had said to Hunter what you’d all essentially been thinking for months, the Sergeant’s posture stiffened and his cheeks had dusted with embarrassment, the only one able to stick up for him without stuttering being Omega. You all lectured Crosshair until he apologised to the eldest brother in his signature fashion - thankfully now it was a joke that was shared between them both.

Now every time he would create a meal he would ask for someone to be there to taste along the way, knowing that just because his enhanced senses lead him towards picking up on every grain of flavour he would add, he didn’t want that to stop everyone else from having a decent meal.

His intentions were met with praise, knowing it wasn’t his intention to feed you all the bare minimum, so he would over compensate with portion sizes, you were a massive family as it was, he didn’t have to feel like he had to feed you all three times over. Wrecker wouldn’t complain, the more he could eat, the happier he was.

Hunter had blushed at your compliment, your use of his rank always making his hairs stand on end, it would always remind him of the intimate moments you would spend with him. Whether it were moments spent with his brothers or just himself, his rank slipping from your lips always excited him in ways he knew he should never have indulged - but with the war for them over, he found himself leaning into his enjoyments a lot more than usual.

But with you all in public, with Omega of all people, he had to bring himself almost to attention, his eyes looking away from yours, “… Thank you, Cyar’ika…” He mumbled, his blush darkening when you had kissed his cheek, grinning at him with adoration. He smiled at your soft giggle, placing a kiss on your temple before turning back to the stalls, Echo deciding to join him and Tech in looking for ingredients.

Crosshair snuck up behind you, his hand lightly tracing your waist as he looked down at your form, “You don’t need to lie to him.” He joked with a straight face, earning a laugh from you. “You can always tell me if you’re sad Cross, I know Echo’s not making the dinner tonight but-“

Your arms came around to hold his jaw, loving the feeling of his chuckle against your back, “Never, ram’ser.” You smiled, leaning up to place a kiss on his chin.

Your attentions turned towards the group, Wrecker now holding Omega on his shoulder, snacking on some of the crackers Echo had bought before you got here whilst getting scolded that they might fill themselves up.

“Y’know… we could sneak back to house without anyone noticing,” Crosshair whispered in your ear, his arms coming underneath your stomach and alleviating some weight, “I could rub your legs… your back,” he began to list, lips coming to kiss the shell of your ear. His voice sent tingles through your thighs and to your core, a pleasant shiver rolling down your back, “And after I’ve given you a massage I could help you relax…” he purred, his fingers comfortably rubbing circles along your belly.

You wanted nothing more than to see Crosshair looking up at you from between your legs, to feel his hands over your body once again.

Since becoming pregnant, all your boys made sure to treat you like the most delicate gems, looking out for your every need no matter what the situation. In the fleeting moments of intimacy you shared with them, they were all incredibly gentle and soft, showering you with constant compliments and praises, paying close attention to your changing body - especially Wrecker.

The thoughts enveloped your thinking entirely, biting your lip with a cheeky smirk, looking at Crosshair from your peripheral. “We’ve probably got… 2 minutes before they realise I’m missing.” You grinned, the sniper matching your mischievous glint, “Well then we better not waste them.” You covered your mouth when a giggle fell from your lips, Crosshair kissing at your neck as he began to direct you back in the direction of your shared house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading!

Sorry for the incredibly rushed ending - like mentioned at the top, this had zero plot when going into it, it was very much writing as the ideas come into fruition 🤣

I’ve never posted a fic to Tumblr before so if you enjoyed, woohoo! 💕

[dinarosie]

hi i am actually very interested in the fact that you are "anti-marauders" because i have a strong feeling you've never actually had a conversation with a (real, not tik-tokified) marauders fan. i don't particularly "hate" snape, but i do NOT think he's a good person. i have a lot of similar nuanced feeling pertaining to peter, and i will admit that james and sirius are often childish and did bully snape. i've decided to reread half-blood prince, and rewatch the movie, so i can have a real conversation of my opinion on snape, and i will send in another ask later.

also, sectumsemprus (is that it?) is his SIGNATURE spell- for reference, voldemort's signature spell is avada kedavra, and harry's is probably expelliarmus. do you know how many times you have to use a spell for it to become your signature spell?

Hi there! Thanks for reaching out.

First, I want to clarify that I use anti-Marauders tags not because I created this blog solely to spread hate against them or to harass their fans, but because it’s a general Tumblr rule. For nearly any post criticizing a character, you’re expected to use anti tags, as fans of that character might not want to see critical posts about their favorite. This ensures fans who may not want to see criticism of their favorite characters can filter or avoid it if they choose.

Now, you mentioned that I probably haven’t talked to a “real” Marauders fan, which is why I have anti-Marauders posts. But honestly, I don’t think all fans of the Marauders share the same views, nor is it possible to talk to every fan before making a post. I see a lot of anti-Snape content daily—much of it from Marauders fans—and often get an idea for a post that I decide to share. I imagine most bloggers do this; it’s part of engaging with fandoms online. I try to offer thoughtful critiques when possible, but that does take time. Sometimes, seeing particularly harsh, illogical, or double-standard comments pushes me to post a short, sarcastic response—one that mirrors the style of some of the content I encounter.

Overall, I wouldn’t call myself “anti All of Marauder fans.” Yes, I use terms like “Marauders fans” and “anti-Marauders” tags, but my issue is only with fans who unreasonably hate Snape and mock him (even for things like his background) or who attack Snape supporters, labeling them with hurtful terms simply for supporting him. Outside of those specific cases, I have no problem with other fans.

As for your question about Sectumsempra, I understand you’re suggesting it became Snape’s “signature” spell through frequent, harmful use. I looked up the reference you mentioned, and here’s the passage from Deathly Hallows where Lupin speaks of Sectumsempra:

“He lost his hood during the chase. Sectumsempra was always a specialty of Snape’s. I wish I could say I’d paid him back in kind, but it was all I could do to keep George on the broom after he was injured, he was losing so much blood.”

It’s worth noting the term Lupin uses here: specialty, not signature. Sectumsempra first appears in Half-Blood Prince as an unknown spell by an unnamed creator. After Harry uses it on Malfoy, it’s still an unfamiliar spell until Snape admits to creating it at the end of the book. But in Deathly Hallows, right after the Battle of the Seven Potters, Sectumsempra becomes widely associated with Snape (via Lupin’s words).

While in Half-Blood Prince the goal is to keep the creator of this spell anonymous, in Deathly Hallows it’s crucial to know exactly who used Sectumsempra during the Battle of the Seven Potters. The inconsistency here seems intentional. The author isn’t referencing Sectumsempra’s notoriety here to highlight Snape’s past; rather, I believe she brings it up as an important clue about the future. This clue gains significance after we view Snape’s memories, especially after reading Dumbledore’s line to him just before the Battle of the Seven Potters:

And Severus, if you are forced to take part in the chase, be sure to act your part convincingly… I am counting upon you to remain in Lord Voldemort’s good books as long as possible, or Hogwarts will be left to the mercy of the Carrows..."

But in THE PRINCE’S TALE, we see that Snape defies Dumbledore’s advice—he steps out of his role as a Death Eater and targets another Death Eater with a spell that’s highly conspicuous, one that could jeopardize his cover. (If successful, and had it hit another Death Eater, they would have immediately recognized the spell as Snape’s own.) So why would Snape make such an irrational choice? Why take such a risk? To save the life of Remus Lupin.

This scene is one of many that show Snape’s growth and commitment to doing the right thing—not out of loyalty to Lily, not for Dumbledore, nor for any personal reward.( And that's exactly why, in the chapter where Snape's true loyalty and the real story behind him are finally revealed, this spell and its backstory are brought up.) As he admitted in his iconic line to Dumbledore, he had grown weary of watching lives be lost when he had the power to save them. Whether it’s an old bully, Lucius and Narcissa’s son, or James and Lily’s, Snape steps in without hesitation to protect a life—even if it endangers his own

Another reason I don’t believe the author’s aim here is to highlight Snape’s crimes as a Death Eater is that there are numerous scenes throughout the series discussing Snape’s actions during that time. Yet, we never see any indication or hint from the author that Snape committed serious harm or atrocities while serving as a Death Eater. In fact, in his argument with Bellatrix, it’s mentioned that Snape actively tried to avoid participating in missions. During his planning conversations with Dumbledore, we’re also told that his soul has never been tainted by murder. And in Karkaroff’s trial, there’s no crime or accusation he can use against Snape.

[jennaispunk]

I’m not one to toot my own horn or bring attention to myself but I was inspired by the lovely @jolapeno (ilysm 💜💜), @wethairjoel, @sawymredfox (ily bestie!! 💜), @toomanystoriessolittletime and others, I decided to post my own favorite things.

2024 was the year I started writing fic. I posted my first story in February and the rest is history. My journey has had its ups and downs (self-doubt, writers block, etc) but I wouldn’t change a thing. I’ve made some wonderful friends in the Pedro fandom (too many to tag) and I’m grateful for each and every one of you and all your shenanigans. 🤪

Now, for the things:

Just Another Saturday Night- The first fic I ever posted and it was for none other than Javi P for Space Sisters Valentine’s Day Exchange. I love writing for Javi. This was a fun story to write about Javi and reader baby sitting for Steve and Connie on Valentine’s Day and their feelings are revealed. Javi singing to Olivia will live in my head rent-free forever.

Like the Rain- my first Frankie fic. If you don’t already know, I love Frankie, and I mean LOVE (I really should write more for him). This one was for @guiltyasdave 1.5k kisses challenge and the prompt was kisses in the rain. If you don’t know by know, I love Frankie, and I mean LOVE. I really need to write more for him. This little story was ultimately about Frankie learning to accept love and the rain provided a good metaphor for washing the slate clean and starting again.

A Symptom of Being Human- my first Joel fic. This one was a bit different for me because it was the most heavy thing I’d written up to that point. It dealt with loss and panic attacks and I cried while writing it.

It’s Only Make Believe- my first Dieter fic written for @burntheedges Roll-A-Trope Challenge. My prompt was fake dating/relationship. This one was a bear, y’all. I struggled with this one quite a bit and it’s my longest fic to date. I had a hard time finding Dieter’s voice but I think I managed okay. This one made me fall for Dieter even more (and also made me rewatch the Bubble 🤣) and I’ve written two more fics for him since then.

Amid the Falling Snow- My first Ezra fic. Ezra has always been a favorite of mine but I had shied away from writing because I was nervous I wouldn’t be able to capture his voice. After a few rewatches of Prospect (a terrible thing to have to do I know 🤣) and some reading some fantastic resource material from @morallyinept, this just flowed out of me. I think I really found my stride here in terms of being able to paint an image with my words.

Miller’s Christmas Tree Farm- I tried something new this year: co-writing. This was a piece of Joel Christmas fluff I wrote with @toomanystoriessolittletime. I had so much fun writing this with you and I hope we can team up in 2025 to do it again!!

I also made a few moodboards (not related to any of my fics) that I’m proud of.

Frankie and Mouse- for @beefrobeefcal. Frankie and Mouse will always be one of my favorites and I will ship them until the day I die. This series has it all: smut, humor and tears.

Jagged Scraps of Him- for @moonlitbirdie. This was the first Ezra fic I read and boy did it blow me away. I love the way Birdie writes Ezra. If you haven’t read it, what are you waiting for?You can find the fic on A03 if you’re a registered user. I’m posting the moodboard as I pic because I can’t link it.

I participated in quite a few writing challenges this year (some of which I mentioned above) and helped me grow as a writer. I’m looking forward to the writing challenges you all come up with in 2025!

I stepped out of my comfort zone a bit in 2024 and participated in @morallyinept’s Pike’s Pick-n-Mix, where I was paired with the amazing @beefrobeefcal who I’m blessed to say became a good friend. ily Beef!! 💜

I also participated in Pedro Scouts. @goodwithcheese-Thank you so much for all your hard work and dedication into creating such a welcoming and fun space for the fandom. Scouts Summer Camp was probably my favorite part of this year. The shenanigans and group activities were hilarious and so much fun. Because of summer camp, I met @jolapeno, who has become a good friend. I’m truly blessed. 💜

I can’t say goodbye to 2024 without thanking all of those who have supported me, laughed with me and shared thots with me. I can’t tag you all because there are just too many. Here’s just are just a few that I haven’t already tagged and/or mentioned in this post who have made my 2024 worth remembering:

@whocaresstillthelouvre @secretelephanttattoo @bitchesuntitled @artsy-girl-76 @sixhours

@mothandpidgeon @yopossum @tinytinymenace @hellfire-state-of-mind @maggiemayhemnj

@romanarose @perotovar @toxicanonymity @wordywarriorwrites @mando-abs @timelordfreya

Here’s to a great 2025 for all of us!!

Much love,

Jenn 💜

[scoobydoodean]

I feel like you’re one of the few people I’d trust to ask this of, but I always find myself wondering at the different reactions Dean has to hunting, i.e: Sam and others. Like I don’t think at all that he forced Sam back or was dragging him around or anything like that. But even way back then with Jo he was always like “get away from this life”. And still, especially early on, he seemed to be offended/angry that Sam didn’t like the life/want it for himself. I always personally understood it as a mix of sibling bickering like “ohh you think you’re so much better”, a front so as to pretend “hey everything is fine don’t look too closely” and Sam himself kinda conflating hunting = family and thus had to cut both out to be free of it, so in turn Dean also associated Sam walking away from hunting as walking away from family (reinforced by Heaven and Purgatory, later on, in slightly different ways) (although which came first and/or how much that was influenced by John first is ultimately a chicken and egg situation, I suppose). But I’d like to know if you have thoughts on this? Sorry for the long ask, I hope it was coherent?

NOTE: For anyone looking for commentary on Dean absolutely not forcing Sam back into hunting, my tags #sam the hunter, #sam the family man, and #in which... I am too lazy to write all that out may be of use.

So if I understand correctly, what we're getting at here is that Dean pretty consistently tries to talk people (especially younger people) out of the life or objects to involving them. For example, Jo (2.06), Adam (4.19), Jimmy (4.20), Krissy and her dad (7.11), Krissy's friends (8.18), Claire (10.20). He tries to protect Jesse and Cesar's retirement. But when it comes to Sam, Dean isn't so into trying to talk him out of the life.

To discuss the premise itself first, I can think of the following instances where Dean is hurt, skeptical, or displays some other sort of objection to Sam vs normal life: 1.01, 1.16, 4.22, 5.16, 8.01 (Pine's rewatch notes help me out here too). On the other hand, I can also think of many moments where Dean is supportive of Sam having a normal life or wishes that for him. Starting from 1.06 and 1.18, Dean says that he wishes Sam could just be normal. By 1.07, Dean is suggesting they just stay in the college town representing Sam's wistful desire for normality. I have a compilation gifset of these and a few other season 1 moments here. In 2.20, Dean beams with happiness that Sam is living a normal life and has Jess by his side—this is also despite the fact that he and Sam are estranged in the Djinn dream universe. In season 8, while Dean is hurt and angry that Sam left him to die and abandoned Kevin, when the opportunity presents itself for Sam to get back together with Amelia in 8.10 and go be normal, Dean tells Sam he should go to her if that's what would make him happy. In 8.14, Dean says he wants to do The Trials so that Sam can survive and go be normal. Basically what I'm getting at is that while moments occur where Dean seems hurt by Sam wanting a normal life or has some other objection, there are more moments where the exact opposite is true. This contrast also opens the door for questions about why Dean sometimes reacts negatively and sometimes doesn't (or maybe has to "come around" to the idea). The mixed bag suggests a lot of different and sometimes conflicting emotions, which is very realistic I think.

I don't think every single one of these reasons factors into every single one of the five episodes I mentioned where Dean seems hurt/skeptical about Sam + normal life, but here we go:

First, while Dean tries to push a lot of people out of the life and is also shown to crave a normal life for himself at various points (ex: 2.20, 3.10, 5.17), he does believe that being involved with the supernatural world is physically unavoidable for some people, and that it psychologically gets its hooks into others to the point they eventually can't get out/turn back (ex: 4.19). Jack, Jesse, and Kevin (and Sam and Dean themselves eventually) are examples of people Sam and Dean see as stuck in the life practically, because demons and angels are after them for reasons out of all of their control. However, Sam and Dean were both psychologically stuck in hunting first. For Dean, the house fire and how he was raised leave him feeling stuck in the hunting world. Sam doesn't remember the fire, but follows on John's heels when Jess dies in the same manner that Mary did. The trauma of losing Jess creates a commonality and drive that wasn't present before, causing Sam to say that he and his father aren't different anymore—in fact, they have more in common than just about anyone (1.20). On many occasions, Sam also talks about hunting as an inevitability/something he can't "come back" from at this point even if he wanted to (ex: 2.10, 4.19, 4.21). Closely interrelated, at various points, Sam also says that hunting has become a life he loves and/or prefers to normality (ex: 2.02, 2.20, 4.08, 4.17, 5.12a, 5.12b, 5.12c, 10.18).

Dean's language in 1.01 "Sooner or later, you're going to have to face up to who you really are" suggests part of Dean sees Sam as a hunter at the core from the beginning who is hiding from who he really is deep down. I think there is some truth to this (see my #sam the hunter tag). In that scene in 1.01, Dean generally expresses skepticism that Sam is really capable of leading the life he's trying to live long term. I think Dean also has reason to think that way, given that Sam outright admits he plans to lie to Jess forever... which kind of means Sam stays in the hunter mindset (where you lie to normal people every day to keep up appearances) and never really gets to be himself either way. Dean doesn't think this is practical or healthy and says so (and he's not wrong). All this to say—I think in 1.01, Dean has difficulty understanding that Sam has not (quite yet) fallen into the hunting world. Dean and John are kind of bonded by the shared trauma of losing Mary, but Sam doesn't share that trauma (as Sam himself points out on the bridge, saying he doesn't even remember Mary). Of course, that changes by the end of the episode. 8.01, Dean is just "?!?!?!?!?" because Sam has told Dean point blank on multiple occasions at that point that he prefers hunting to being normal (2.20, 4.08, 5.12) and has been overall rather into hunting, and has voiced the same thinking as Dean in regards to not being able to get out psychologically even if he wanted to (4.19, 5.12). There's a reason that when Sam says he doesn't hunt anymore in 8.01, Dean thinks he's joking at first. (I talk about why Sam left hunting between seasons 7 and 8 here). The thing is is that (unless driven by a burning desire for revenge as in the season 3-4 gap and the season 9-10 gap) Sam will not hunt without Dean. Not because Dean "makes" him hunt, but because Sam doesn't have the heart for the work without Dean by his side. (See the "I can't do it without my brother" 10.18 speech).

SAM: You know, when Dean came to get me at school, I-I told myself… one last job, you know? One more job. And then when – when I, um…. When I lost Jess, I, again, told myself one more job. There’s always one more job, you know? And one more job, and one more job, and then I was gonna go back to law and – and to my life. CHARLIE: You were the Dread Pirate Roberts of hunting. SAM: Yeah. I guess I really understand now that….this is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother. And if he’s gone, then I don’t….

Interrelated to the concept of hunting as inescapable and as something Sam voices his enjoyment of multiple times—in 1.01, Dean also (though part bravado) still romanticizes hunting to an extent (though not for much longer—we see this by the time he meets Jo). This definitely factors into how Dean approaches the subject in 1.01, though I don't think it factors into later moments.

Second, Dean is the heart character, and as the heart character, he feels a responsibility to protect people. When he tells Sam in the pilot "You have a responsibility", I think what Dean means is "saving people, hunting things, the family business". It isn't revenge that they have a responsibility toward (Dean will be the one to say he hopes they never find the demon if it means Sam or John killing themselves to end it (1.22) but that from Dean's perspective, Dean's knowledge of what's out there and his proficiency at the job gives him a moral obligation to try and save people in harms way. On the other hand, I don't think Sam feels this way—at least not nearly so strongly. Sam's approach to hunting has always been more family focused imo. Both brothers hunt as a means of coping to an extent, but more largely, Dean hunts because he feels deeply for others and wants—and even feels a duty to—protect people. Sam hunts because hunting makes him feel close to his family and makes him feel known, and because it is where he feels he can be himself (ex: 4.17). More succinctly—for Dean, the order goes, "Saving people, hunting things, the family business" and for Sam, the order goes, "The family business, saving people, hunting things" I think. This difference in motivations occasionally creates interesting tension on the hunt, but it is also creates confusion when Sam has left hunting pre-series, and again in season 8.

SAM: Look, it wasn't like I was... just oblivious. I mean, I read the paper every day. I saw the weird stories… the kind of stuff we used to chase. DEAN: And you said what? "Not my problem"? SAM: Yes. And you know what? The world went on.

8.01 "We Need To Talk About Kevin"

Dean doesn't understand this. He can't wrap his head around it because Dean doesn't think this way, and I'm not sure Dean ever gets exactly why Sam is driven to hunt. He doesn't really get the strength of the family connection for Sam... and Dean has reason not to, because from the outside looking in, Sam cutting Dean out of his life every time he decides he doesn't want to hunt anymore sounds like he doesn't actually care about Dean that much deep down... or at all. So how on earth could Sam's interest in and love for hunting be connected to caring about his brother DEAN???

That brings me to the third reason for some of this occasional hurt from Dean, which is that you're right about Sam (and then Dean in turn) associating normal life with cutting Dean off, because that's what Sam does. Any time Sam goes after a normal life, there seems to be no room for contact with Dean in it. When Sam goes to school, even though his fight was with John, it's implied that he wouldn't take Dean's calls which is why Dean showed up in person (1.01).

NOTE: This period is a little tricky, because the script was supposed to say they hadn't spoken since Sam left at 18, but what accidentally made it into the show is that they may have been in contact for the first two years. The two years wouldn't make things much better though, because with Dean's dialogue "You know, in almost two years I've never bothered you, never asked you for a thing." It still seems like Sam is the one who cut ties.

In 1.16 "Shadow", when Dean brings up wanting to stay together and "be a family again" even after the business with the demon is concluded, Sam makes it clear he's returning to school—which is perfectly fine. However, buried within this conversation is the implication that Dean doesn't want to lose contact with Sam again, and Sam doesn't give any assurances about calling or staying in contact because... he plans to cut Dean off again, even while telling Dean he loves him.

"Dean, we are a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before. [...] I don’t want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you’re gonna have to let me go my own way."

Dean looks at this and goes "?????" because how can Sam talk about how much he cares for Dean and then in the same breath, essentially say he doesn't want to see him anymore after this? That makes no sense... right? And the self-hating part of Dean who believes Meg's manipulative framing in 1.16 about him dragging Sam everywhere even though Sam has repeatedly been the race horse raring for revenge and getting angry when Dean can't pull leads on John or the demon out of his ass thinks maybe he IS somehow responsible for every horrible thing that has happened to Sam and how Sam's life is now. And Dean's insecurities are reinforced too because Sam has thrown it in his face that it's his fault in moments where he was angry and felt a loss of control. So Dean doesn't understand how hunting is actually positively connected to family and him for Sam, and Sam doesn't understand how Dean doesn't understand and doesn't know how to reassure him (5.16), and that's how we get Dean unloading his insecurities about Sam not loving him in 4.22 (to Bobby) and 5.16 (to Sam). In both discussions, Dean's lack of belief in Sam's care for him is closely connected to Sam's desire for normality and how Dean felt tossed away like garbage and like his efforts were never enough. I talk about the dialogue in 4.22 more in depth here (added context of Sam calling Dean weak for his trauma and strangling Dean near unconscious matters lmao). In 5.16, Zachariah (imo) repeatedly pushes the brothers toward Sam's memories of normality and being away from Dean as part of his psychological ploy, and it works even though Sam's strongly stated lack of interest in normality is (arguably) at its zenith (4.08, 4.19, 5.12) because the brothers relationship is so weak from season 4. If we didn't already get it, we as viewers realize Sam loves his brother very much and has many happy memories with him despite appearances in 5.22 when happy memories with Dean are what pulls Sam from Lucifer's control.

Another important episode here in regards to Dean’s perceptions of Sam's feelings versus how Sam actually sees Dean is 2.20 "What Is And What Should Never Be". There's a variety of things to be said about how in Dean's dream, he envisions himself as someone his family would look down upon even in a paradise scenario. However, one of the bits we get from the whole dream is that Dean believes that in normal life scenario, Sam wouldn't want to be around him. Dean envisions himself as kind of a terrible person (and as usual, he is being really ugly about himself in a way that isn't at all warranted), but undoubtably, there's also a classist stench to the scenario—Dean the blue collar worker, Sam the hot shot lawyer who looks down his nose at Dean. I don't doubt that deep down, Dean kind of believes the real Sam sees himself as upwardly mobile and Dean as beneath him. One of the ways Dean potentially forms that conclusion is how Sam treats him over money early in the series. That said, the REAL Sam is surprised by their lack of connection in Dean's "paradise". When Dean suggests that without hunting, they never would have connected, Sam makes it clear that he's glad they have.

But yeah! Those scenes in 4.22 and 5.16 aren't even about Sam wanting to be normal—they're about how Dean feels discarded every time Sam goes after normal (and it happens again in 8.01).

Lastly, Dean's also dealing with jealousy in a couple of these moments. Before we ever met him, Dean had his own wistful desires for normal (9.07, 1.06, 1.13). Safety and a home and normality were things he felt he couldn't ever really have (this also comes post-breakup with Cassie). Even in 8.10, when Dean tells Sam to get back with Amelia if he can, he adds,

And, you know, maybe I'm a little bit jealous. I could never separate myself from the job like you could.

I think this line leads directly back to Dean as the heart character who has extreme difficulty with the concept of burying his head in the sand—something Sam was able to do easily (like... too easily RE: Kevin). I think Dean kind of judges Sam for doing that, but at the same time, Dean also knows he has an overactive sense of responsibility—he just can't shake it despite knowing that (2.20, 5.11, 7.04). So he envies that Sam can even if he thinks Sam leans too far the other direction sometimes.

I also don't think this bit from Shifter!Dean in 1.06 was too off:

You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you? [...] See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me.

I think coupled with that jealousy in 1.01, we also see Dean's resentment, because he sacrificed everything for their family. He sacrificed his childhood to take care of his father who was a mess, and play mother and father to his brother, and he had a gun in his hand meant to kill before he was even 10, and Dean resents all of this. Dean was made to be the responsible one when he was just a child out of necessity, and John (someone Dean repeatedly calls a deadbeat in season 5) took advantage and then discarded him (a part of Dean does know he deserves better), and Sam cut Dean out of his life the moment he was no longer of use. It isn't just that Sam doesn't feel the weight of the burdens Dean was made to shoulder—Sam doesn't even seem to realize they exist, and Dean is resentful. He wants someone in his family besides him to shoulder some of the family responsibilities Dean has spent so long carrying alone. His feelings are misdirected toward Sam in 1.01 in that regard, but they're also very human.

Even so, Dean's love supersedes jealousy and resentment. We see this clearly in 1.18 "Something Wicked", which is all about Dean's childhood being stolen and him being burdened with responsibilities that were too big and blamed for people dying when he was just a child and it wasn't his fault, but at the end of the episode, Dean doesn't wish innocence for himself—he wishes it for Sam. Even though the episode is all about Dean's memory of his own trauma. And in 2.20, in his "paradise" dream, Sam gets to be normal, and he and Sam don't even get along, and Dean doesn't care—he's just over the moon that his brother gets to live a normal life.