#or do i somehow never get noticed

[nanowired-lover]

How do you explain to your teacher without sounding like you're crazy/lazy that you just had 4 panic attacks that lasted a few hours in the last 3 days, and ever since 2020, your memory loss is getting worse, but you didn't see doctors about it bc you're terrified of them and administrations and you're scared your parents are going to find out how mentally ill you are, so you don't have any fucking paper proof.

[dxxtruction]

"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?

I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.

And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.

I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.

But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.

Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.

The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.

Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.

Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.

If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.

*: (edit) added for clarity.

**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.

[omgcatboi]

I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[rainyraisin]

I think Gerald Robotnik is the perfect example of how sympathetic doesn't mean forgivable and I havent seen a single person talk about it

[californiaquail]

anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before

[tj-crochets]

so in the past I have made themed gifts for people who have helped me* and it's been a little weird but like. Understandable to the person I am gifting the thing to weird? My current problem is that I want to make something for my endocrinologist because he has improved my quality of life hugely** but endocrinology doesn't have an easily themed gift and my endocrinologist reminds me very very strongly of like a sad greyhound or a whippet but I cannot explain to this very nice, very normal man that "hey I made you a plushie of a dog because I wanted to thank you for the steroids and you remind me of a dog. In a good way!" *like teeth plushies for the dentist who helped me figure out I have to have dental anesthetic without epinephrine in it, or a chicken plushie for the people at the chicken restaurant that went the extra mile to get their ingredients list that were the reason I figured out I'm allergic to coconut **I had what would have been a severe allergic reaction and it wasn't pleasant but I didn't end up in the hospital and I didn't take like a week minimum to recover and

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

one of the things ive been enjoying recently is allowing myself to focus on the obsessions - like going through a patch where i listened exclusively to abba, then it switched to carpenters, and reading about them and stuff. rather than trying to be moderate to a degree, and listen to other music when i really wanted to listen to these things, i was allowing myself to listen to them.

but it's like... i've stopped caring. about anything. i'm listening to carpenters right now, the 250-song playlist i made by listening through their entire discography and adding the songs i liked. it's very pleasant, but it's... not making me happy, i don't know. i'm just ambivalent. who the hell cares. about anything.

[lokh]

at this point i have to assume the ongoing chest pain is from living in this fucking house

[moonstruckdraws]

Robin & Jak

Jeez- this is so long overdue but hey- I digitalized something!-

A friend for @hellishgayliath's oc, Elend the pumpkin witch! I saw this guy and wanted him to have a friend :] (or someone that thinks so lmao)

This is Robin! Elend's (self-proclaimed) best friend! He's an enthusiastic and adventurous witch that is also terrible at magic & spells (he's my loser boy). He is studying under a master (that I also have drafted but I refuse to draw more today so-) in the hopes of becoming a strong witch on his own. Though the only skill he seems to have is that he's good with animals.

Robin's familiar is a red fox named Jak, as in jack-o'-lantern, that transforms into his witch's hat! I wanted this little fella to be a darker color than the normal orange of foxes drawn, and to have a different colored pumpkin head. (This took so long to color- oh my stars, I was struggling with both of their color palettes). Jak's head can also just pop off! This leads to it rolling away in its sleep a lot.

Elend & Robin: I envisioned Robin as this naturally affectionate person that is basically an open book. He tries his best to be helpful and kind, but his lack of skills and excitement can lead to accidents to those around him. Robin views Elend as his best friend (and whether Elend does as well is yet to be said), but it's very self-proclaimed on his end. He follows Elend around when not training and probably shows up by popping his head up through Elend's windows to say hello. At the end of the day, he's just a goofy, loving dude that values Elend

[angeltannis]

Thinking about how in BL1 Tannis says that “she pretty much built Pandora’s ECHOnet system” herself. And therefore, in that game’s lore at least, it’s Tannis’ tech that allowed Angel to reach out and connect with others (for better or worse) . and also in the process kinda doomed her (though Jack certainly would’ve found some other way to turn Angel into a living weapon) . Hh

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[ratcandy]

had a really epic cry on a balcony last week and I’ve been longing for that balcony ever since . Was so cathartic I need to go back there

[kneworder]

did you watch tua s4 and if so what did you think :3

yeah i watched it

[enniewritesathing]

:\

[glitterslag]

bureaucracy...