#hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

misqnon · 6 months

Note

IM SORRY FOR PLANTING THE IDEA IN UR HEAD THAT I WOULD TRY TO DECEIVE U /GEN

being 14 and stupid is a valid reason. i too was 14 and stupid at one point

i get really jealous when my fav fictional characters get into a relationship (assuming i like them romantically) and so .. best for me to not ship them.. and also best for me to not fall for characters that will get together with someone. loz:totk spoilers but seeing sidon got married actually broke my heart..... i was so sad...

ACTUALLY PHOENIX AND MILES DO HAVE A RIVALRY UR RIGHT.. i dont ALWAYS hate enemies to lovers. but they were friends first.. and then they became friends again. so i think i categorize them differently in my head

kidd becoming king of the pirates sounds pretty impossible to me because.. i fully believe luffy will do it. but i can see how it would happen if like. luffy gets the one piece but doesnt take credit for it or something. i could also kinda see a route where luffy, kidd, and law all reach the end point together

in the world of pirates i guess most can be forgiven. i definitely DO forget abt how awful some characters were so his way of just rewriting them to be nicer ... kinda works..

u might have linked the wrong video bc i dont remember him saying anything about sanji's eyebrow swirl. maybe i wasnt paying enough attention,, i do think i like partially noticed that oda's signature has sanji's eyebrow swirl but ... yeah that is VERY telling

"and i want to beat him to death with hammers . who said that" LMAO i can relate..

AGHH U WORDED IT SO WELL.. "zoro is boisterous." YES HE IS... UR SO RIGHT.. like he has a lot of quieter moments post timeskip but when hes loud hes LOUD,, i watched episode 2 which is the buggy episode (idk if he shows up later or not) but i did Not Hear the fuck... i mustve filtered it out. too used to hearing cuss words..

RIGHT, they did a great job with the casting. trans koby is so good..

"GOD I WISH SHE WAS REAL" ME TOO

"thank you for showing me!! :D" <3 :)

i found out google had a record of a bunch of accounts that used my email with passwords that mightve been compromised. like . i found that a while ago. but i couldnt log into any of the accounts because . well probably because they WERE compromised. and half of it i was just like ... i dont remember this.... im just living my life with probably a million accounts on various websites that have been stolen. actually my og minecraft account from when i was 9 was stolen.. it was heartbreaking.

THAJK U i will enjoy. i will.

gasp . i.. that is very sweet of u to offer, thank u. my music taste is honestly really hard to pin down i think.. from what i have gathered from other people

"I FUNDED IT" YOU DID!!

"some people have said it seemed fake/forced" noo 😭😭. iñaki seems too genuine for that. i fully believe he was actually that excited. i think he just kinda has that awkward... dare i say autistic... energy. so his interactions with people probably seem forced no matter what. i am just speculating though

was it the zosan comic because i had seen that on my own timeline like 5 times already before u reblogged it LOL

genuinely i think its just because i have dissociative amnesia ahjdhs. but i do think its a funny story to tell people... like yeah... i forgot....

my gender evolution has been genderfluid -> cis girl -> genderfluid -> cis girl -> genderfluid -> cis girl -> trans man? -> trans man who uses he/they pronouns -> transmasc -> nonbinary/transmasc (i usually say nonbinary)

and now i am questioning my gender again. the grind never stops 💪🔥🔥

i say im non binary bc i . gave up. like i am so sick of trying to figure it out ... ill just use the biggest umbrella term.

i do remember that guy who keeps showing up on the sbs for his extremely perverted questions about women... and i would actually send in a question for the sbs but I don't know japanese and he doesnt answer questions that arent in japanese. or so i have heard. i could use a translator though so maybe im just making excuses

it IS a bop.. thank u for the context i heart when ppl tell me things so im not confused. i havent seen rupauls drag race.. i did mean to at one point and then i .. forgot about it

"I USE THAT SAME PHRASE A LOT AND ACCIDENTALLY DO THAT SAME THING EVERY TIME LMAO" IM SO GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES THAT AHJDS

OH PERFECT. MAGISTRATE OF SANJI!!! u get to sit in a courtroom full of sanji fans and judge ace attorney style cases

u havent even gotten to the death pact though have you?? LMAO

YES perfect. i agree its probably just cuz oda wants them to be more intimidating but thats not an interesting reason to me .. i want canonical reasoning behind the heights

"bisexuality of man or whatever" is so funny ..

i like dofuwani too but yeah i think they only really interact during marineford?? i think listing out what ships i like would be hard cuz i LIKE a lot of them but dont Care About most of them.. i care about shuggy.. and recently sanuso.. and ofc hanyagellan. i think thats it tbh. im way more likely to care about characters themselves rather than ships.

"im ngl hannyagellan is like a funny joke ship to me but if it becomes one of those crack ships u acciddentally get attached to im gonna be so mad (i wont be mad itll be really funny)" this is pretty much how i feel... like i was joking and i think its turning into . not a joke... i think im starting to be serious.....

i also miss kuina. like she barely appeared but she has such a big impact.... i wish . she. hadnt died. also i think about how her father's last words to her might have been that she can never be the strongest swordsman, because she was born female. i hate that guy... (her dad). i have seen people say her dad killed her or something and i dont like that theory. first of all i dont think her dad is evil like that. i think hes just your regular sexist dad lmao. but also i feel like it cheapens the impact of her death.

this panel is so good and. like. idk i feel like him realizing that humans are inherently weak is so important to his character.. thats why he protects weak people. because he sees his childhood friend in them. or thats my theory anyways,,

somewhat unrelated but i have always been amazed that people can imagine amvs/animations/stories while listening to music. like my aphantasia isnt that bad but HOW... doesnt the music block out all your thoughts... thats what it does for me...

ur probably right that it really was a gender thing im just.. huffing copium. im coping. i cant handle the reality that he might also be a sexist jerk

i think seeing plays is fun but being part of the production is way more exciting. i love getting to see all the behind the scenes work and like. i like being able to work with my hands a lot. and when i was spotlight for a few shows . that was so exciting. this is kinda lame but i get chills super easily from watching things (idk how else to explain this. chills. goosebumps. because im excited.) so whenever i would watch the shitty high school theatre productions we did i was still like. so proud of all the work that went into it. and i got chills every show. most of the time i didnt get to watch the show though because i was moving things on and off set. watching plays on youtube is so real.. i watched uh.. "natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812" on youtube. it was still very fun to watch. but yeah in person will always be better

NO i agree i dont rly think of robin as a mother either. i honestly dont like putting the parent role onto any of the older straw hats.. like why cant they just be cool older friends. an older person and younger person dynamic doesnt always have to be parent and child. i cant find the video but have u seen that video on youtube that has a bunch of sanji mother moments... its so cute..

ateez and stray kids were my favorites!!! not sure how familiar u are with kpop .. slang?? but i was ot8 for ateez (as in i liked everyone) and with stray kids changbin was my favorite. i still love them but they arent my hyperfixation rn. i was into bts when i was uhhh.. 12??

the video u sent seems fun and i will watch it after i finish this!!

*points* zosan liker.. /lh. i have seen quite a bit of themetalhiro but idk if im following them or not!! the other ppl i am not familiar with so yippee new content

i have plenty op thoughts i can share!! im honestly not good at asking questions so i tend to just say things n hope whoever im talking to can jump off whatever i say,,. i try to stay away from anything spoilery ofc but so many of my thoughts r spoilery... which is why i havent been throwing them all at u. and also some (a lot) of them are just .... law centered..... and ... u dont like him like i do... (which is fine ofc) i just dont wanna be annoying JSHRJ

ok this isnt really a theory or anything like that but i keep wanting to tell people about this and i am barely restraining myself so . i will tell u. ace sabo and luffy are called the asl brothers right? and ace... died.. my brothers and i also have the initials asl. or we did. but my deadname starts with an a.... my deadname and ace have something in common (theyre both dead).

thats not really anything but i just find it to be a very interesting coincidence . i like to think about it.

ok heres an actual thought. sorry if it sounds awkward. some of this would be spoilery so i will just not include it but. pirates are all about dreams. they have big, lofty goals that they dont usually tell people about, probably out of shame and embarrassment. in sabaody it is hinted that kidd and killer told people that they were going after the one piece, and they were laughed at for it. not many pirates are like luffy, who proudly proclaims that he will be king of the pirates and find the one piece.

i find it really interesting that crocodile is hinted at having had a dream that was only possible through taking over alabasta. and enel's dream was to get to the "endless varse", even after being defeated he still headed towards his dream. he just ended up going alone. big mom's dream is a utopia where every race can live peacefully together. they all are willing to do awful things for the sake of their dreams.

but again, the difference between luffy and these other people and their dreams is that luffy is not hurting people in the pursuit of his dream. he isnt causing a bunch of people to suffer. in fact, he is doing the opposite. he has continuously been shown to free people from their oppressive rulers, and he crushes the dreams of those who are willing to sacrifice innocent people to achieve their goals.

i dont really have an end point to this but i think that the differences are kind of proof that luffy is going to actually succeed. because he is good at heart. because he doesnt kill people for the sake of his dream. and also i pity the people he defeated. like yeah theyre awful. but i cant help but wonder what crocodile wanted. i cant help but think about what kind of circumstances led them to that point in their life

uhm uhmm yeah... i will think of questions to ask u.. so that u dont have to worry about asking Me questions..

"also p.s. there is never any pressure to watch any of the videos i link it is more for a sourcing purpose unless u actively want to watch them" i watched them anyways!! but i rly appreciate this .. tbh, usually i wont watch something when someone asks me to (pda autism perhaps), but when u say theres no pressure im like "oh. ok. that means i can do whatever i want.." and then i end up watching it most of the time. bc i am curious.

sanji is such a mess... i love that first image what a goofy face . i wish i could send videos through asks cuz i have.. a video from the 4kids dub saved.. that i think is funny... maybe i will send it another way. but alas. i will give u this instead.

CAN’T BELIEVE U WOULD SO SUCH A THING!! /j

NO FR I ACTUALLY LIKE YONA BUT. NOOO THEY MARRIED OFF MY MAN!!!!

i felt similarly when they almost married off sanji. but i really like pudding too. also hey why the FUCK did they make her 16-!!! (will never not be mad about it. they'd be kinda cute together if she wasnt tbh!!)

yea i assume the theories that are like “buggy will find the one piece first” or “kidd will become pirate king!” all assume luffy will do it in the way that matters. i COULD see the worst gen trio reaching it together but part of me really wants all the strawhats there when luffy finds it 🥺

i absolutely couldve linked the wrong video its been a while since i watched it lmao SORRY U SAT THROUGH A SANJI VIDEO FOR NOTHING

okay but regarding zoro THIS VIDEO IM IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING SO I KNOW ITS THE RIGHT ONE. around 25 minutes in he starts discussing opla zoro’s issues and at 26:12 he brings up a little zoro recipe card that is exactly what we’ve been saying HAHA and dw u didnt miss the fuck its later on in the season.

all these stolen accounts….all around me are familiar faces…worn out places…..

i dont think inaki gives the impression of being autistic but with english being his second language he may just have that slight hesitation of understanding his brain working out the the english (and this is just ME suspecting and i could be totally off base) but especially in the oda video where everything oda says is translated through japanese to english but his first language is spanish kvnkd. i dont mean to imply i think hes bad at english or anything but when ppl say stuff to me in spanish (which i took for a few years) i always have to mega process it in my brain first

“was it the zosan comic” [hangs my head in shame] m..m…..maybe.,

A DIFFERENT IRL FRIEND OF MINE (who is very asexual, for reference) GOT A TUMBLR WITHOUT TELLING ME AND HAD BEEN FOLLOWING ME AND I HAD PREVIOUSLY TOLD HIM “YEA U SHOULD GET A TUMBLR BUT DONT WORRY ABOUT FOLLOWING ME U PROB WONT LIKE WHAT I POST HAHAHA….WHEN I FOUND OUT HE HAD BEEN FOLLOWING ME I WAS SO. EMBARR5ASSED. ALL MY ONE PIECE YAOI…AND VAMPIRE HORNY…ON FULL DISPLAY…I WAS LIKE PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE FILTERING THE CONTENT . I NEED U TO PUT “ZOSAN” ON UR FILTER ASK DONT ASK ME WHAT IT MEANS,

your gender just “i forgor..”

LMAO THE GENDER QUESTIONING GRIND. WE ARE ON IT TOGETHER MY BROTHER. mine was like. cis girl -> demigirl -> still demigirl but casually bc i kept forgetting -> questioning?? -> genderfluid?? or bigender?? is where i currently am at.

I REMEMBER THAT GUY… SHOO..SHOO

he has mentioned a couple questions as being from overseas, but idk if they were sent in english originally and translated or what. we could Try

so to be fair i have only seen one season of drag race (i think it was 7. the one with kim chi) but i watch trixie and katya a lot so i absorb their knowledge. i really like drag. i kinda wanna try it someday 🧍

“OH PERFECT. MAGISTRATE OF SANJI!!! u get to sit in a courtroom full of sanji fans and judge ace attorney style cases” i literally. feel like i know exactly how this would go.

DUDEBROS WHO THINK HE’S COOL: [BANGS GAVEL] GUILTY

PPL WHO THINK HIS TREATMENT OF WOMEN IS PERFECT AND RESPECTABLE: [BANGS GAVEL] GUILTY

EIICHIRO ODA: [BANGS GAVEL] GUILTY

WOMEN WHO THINK HE’S A PATHETIC MEOW MEOW: [BANGS GAVEL] innocent

GAY PPL WHO PLAY WITH HIM LIKE TOYS: [BANGS GAVEL] innocent

(for legal reasons (haha get it) this is a joke bc all of these have nuance too them ofc. i think he’s very cool sometimes. but other times he is a LOSER. and . i guess i should give oda credit for like. making him,)

I HAVENT GOTTEN TO THE DEATH PACT YOU’RE VERY CORRECT BUT HEAR ME OUT: …THE ZOSANERS TALK ABOUT IT A LOT AND IT SOUNDS COMPELLING,

I LIKE SHUGGY. I WOULD LIKE CROSS GUILD AS A POLY SHIP MORE IF IT DIDNT FEEL MEAN WITH HOW OFTEN THEY BEAT UP ON BUGGY AND ALSO BC I THINK BUGGY BELONGS WITH MR. RED HAIR. the dynamic of shanks being desperate and pining over buggy while buggy thinks he hates him/knows but still hates him. is so funny. i love a onesided ship tbh

OH NO BRO….HANNYAGELLAN…ITS HAPPENING…

kuina gives me a lot of feelings. i love her and everything she stood for. and her time with us as the audience was so brief but we remember her too. i like thinking about what she could have been if we got to see her grown up bc she was such an awesome kid. to influence someone like zoro too. and yea koshiro seems generally pretty cool but that was FUCKED UP and im gonna be mad about it forever. i’ve also heard that “falling down the stairs” in japan can be a way of getting around saying it was a suicide and when i first got into the fandom that was compelling to me but now i dont like it bc. she wouldnt have done that. she made her promise with zoro. she was probably feeling more hopeful about her dream than ever. but then…one small accident and she’s gone. it fucks me up :/ it fucked ZORO up. ive never made the connection that thats why he protects weak people…ah . i think to me kuina made a promise, and zoro takes promises very seriously. he’s very blunt in that he takes things at face value and so a promise is an ironclad thing. i dont think hes stupid and cant tell when someone is being deceptive but i think he thinks deception in that way is kind of unhonorable.

IF I MAY in one of my fics i set aside part of a chapter (titled zoro alone. hehehe atla reference) and wrote this about zoro and kuina. its very simple and doesnt dive deep but i like it

“Zoro looks up from his walk along the path. Even in the near afternoon sun, the forest and its surroundings are grayish from the fog. Something snaps a twig. He glances over and spots a buck hopping through the forest in the distance.

Dreams. Ambitions. Drive. Do what that day stole from Kuina. Defeat Dracule Mihawk. Become the world’s greatest swordsman- for both of them. They’re lofty goals- but he can achieve them. There’s no use in doubt or regret.

He finds himself in the clearing. That same damn clearing from the first night. In fact, if he looks closely, he can still see the imprints of his boots, paced in circles in the dirt. It’s infuriating. This isn’t a good sign for his current navigational endeavors. Nonetheless, he perseveres, heading the way he remembers Sanji to have taken them yesterday.

Kuina. He doesn’t think of her as often as some might think. He doesn’t dwell on the past, only reflects on it. Today he is reflecting. The day he waited for Kuina by the lake, only for Koushirou to come instead. There’s been an accident, he’d said. She’s gone, he’d said. She’d been sick. She’d tripped. She’d fallen down the stairs.

Zoro remembered how they’d overworked themselves the day before, training together. He had some childish thoughts that day. Impulsive and hurtful. He tried not to have those anymore. He instead wanted to focus on achieving what they had set out for themselves: their promise.”

i am always imagining amvs in my head to music. i make ANIMATICS in my head to music. but do i ever actually make those things….no. i do not

as a sanji liker i am huffing copium everyday. dont worry. dont worry about it. [streteches out my hand] lets take ibuprofen together

i get chills during performances too!! its just. SO COOL!!!! TO SEE PEOPLE ACT WITH SUCH PASSION AND PORTRAY EPIC STORIES..RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! LIVE!! AH!!! THOSE BITVHES IN THE SHAKESPEAREAN ERA HAD A POINT

i agree actually! theyre a family but not literally. the mothering some of them show is just cute. and um YES OF COURSE ive seen the sanji mother moments video. god esp pre ts he was so damn cute sometimes 😭 im reading ur message and seeing some of ur posts now and i just feel like this

“u like sanji now dont u rowan”

i think for ateez my friends favorite is seongwha…and my other friend’s bias in ateez is…i dont remember actually,

I LIKE LAW!!! LAW ME UP!!! IM THE MAGISTRATE AFTER ALL!!!! ksjncdkj no but really he isnt one of my ABSOLUTE FAVS but i really like him!! and after corazon…….law is just very compelling ok. i saved the hawaiian shirt comic to my phone as well btw.

omg…rip to ace and also ur deadname i suppose…thats kind of funny.

about ur thoughts on dreams: i…forgot crocodile had a dream beyond alabasta. i thought he just wanted power bc hes sand and its a sand country so it would be perfect for him. plus the poneglyph. now im really curious…i wonder if it relates to his backstory and the possible trans-ness of it? i mean…hm. the poneglyph was weapon related,...idk . croc backstory when…

and ur right about that! luffy is selfish and he’s not a hero but hes also NOT INTERESTED IN BEING NEEDLESSLY TERRIBLE…bc he’s after freedom and what use is it if u destory the freedom of others while searching for it for yourself? undermines your entire goal

i see ur video and i will respond to it shortly but man i DONT KNOW IF I CAN DO IT. HIS 4DUB VOICE PAINS ME PHYSICALLY

speaking of videos. i have a playlist where i put my fav one piece shits. again u do not have to watch any of these. but feel free to peruse

also HERE’S SOMETHING: the other day my friend asked me what i think the one piece is…and having not even reached joyboy/nika shit yet (i shouldnt know about that but alas. spoilers aplenty on the internet) i was freeballing but:

my friend @ liliflower137 had a crack theory that the one piece should be gold roger’s bug collection and with luffy’s love for beetles and the sense of adventure instilled from that i was like. i actually would not be upset at all if that was the case

so i think it might be related to…joyboy/nika/ the SUN…i think maybe its like a. a hat maybe. thats my guess. sun hat. from the original joy boy. its not a good guess but its all i HAVe

also…why do they call him bartolomeo the cannibal. i swear they didnt say anything about him eating people upon introduction. they just call him that. did i miss something. why is bartolomeo called a cannibal and yet when i, big mom,

to end here’s a good zoro meme for u

#march anon #asks #replies #long post

0 notes

spencers-renaissance · 3 years

Text

Shovel Talk

Summary: Hotch and Emily find out about Derek's relationship with Spencer and decide it's time for a chat.

Tags: fluff, humour, est. rel., protective!derek, emily, and hotch, relationship reveal, mentions of past hurt spencer

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1.5k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

Inspired by this post by @penemily that I couldn't stop thinking about. Honestly I love this fic so much lol.

Derek isn’t quite sure how he’s found himself in a vacant office after hours, crowded into an office chair with broken wheels as the two most intimidating FBI agents he knows stand over him.

“Either of you want to tell me what the hell’s going on?” Derek asks, bewildered by how quickly his evening had changed. One minute he’s sneaking looks at Spencer over his computer screen, and the next he’s hauled off to a private room like some sort of hostage.

He’s not scared, but he’s definitely a little pissed off. It’s nearing 10pm and all he wants to do is go home with Spencer, curl up on the sofa and eat take-out in front of the TV as they celebrate closing a case in their own way. He used to celebrate by going out for a drink, falling into bed with a stranger if the opportunity arose, but a quiet evening on the sofa with his boy in his arms is surprisingly satisfying these days.

Hotch raises an eyebrow. “We know,” he says simply, something fierce behind his words.

Derek’s heart skips a beat. It’s not hard to figure out what it is he’s talking about. He and Spencer had started dating a couple of months ago but had decided to keep it under wraps for now; something so young and beautiful was too precious to expose to all the inevitable eventual complications just yet. They’re so ridiculously smitten, though, that he’s not exactly surprised two profilers paying close attention had figured it out.

Ignoring the quietly humming nerves starting up in his stomach, he mirrors Hotch’s raised eyebrow, trying not to look as affected as he feels. “So… what? You wait for Spencer to go to the bathroom to lure me to an empty office to beat me up?”

“Maybe,” Emily replies, voice dry.

Behind the nerves and the posturing, Derek can’t feel a small twinge of hurt. “Look, guys, we expected it to be a bit of a shock, but we thought you’d at least be happy for us—”

“It’s not a shock,” Hotch interrupts.

“What?”

“It’s not a shock,” Emily repeats. “Everyone saw this coming a mile off. We’re not surprised.”

Now, he’s even more lost. “Look, can you guys just sit down? You towering over me is creeping me out, man.”

“Good,” Hotch says easily.

Irritation takes over, and he stands up. “You know what, if you’re gonna be funny about it, I don’t actually have to be here.”

Before he can actually make to leave, though, Hotch is shoving him back down into the chair, old metal and plastic creaking under the force of his caught-off-guard body hitting it again. “Stay.”

“What is going on?” Derek explodes. Maybe under different circumstances he’d be able to profile the situation but as it stands, he’s stressed and confused, desperate only to be allowed to leave this dark, cramped room and take Spencer back to his place. It almost surprises him that all he craves in such a weird and unfamiliar situation is cuddles and a nature documentary, but he’s been with Spencer long enough for it to be approaching normal. The younger man’s probably back at his desk by now, wondering where he is, and Derek would hate for him to be worried. He just wants to go home.

“Derek, we are happy for you and Spencer,” Emily finally explains. “But we couldn’t in good conscience let this go on without having a… chat.” Her face twists into the faux charming expression he’s watched her use to disarm unsubs countless times. It stings a little that she’s using it on him.

He splutters a little as a realisation dawns on him, equal parts bemused and offended. “This is… this is a shovel talk!”

“Yes,” Hotch says with a straight face, his expression tight and intimidating as he tilts his head to the side slightly, clearly entirely unaffected by Derek’s emotions. “This is a shovel talk.”

Derek feels himself relax, tension easing slightly. “Guys, I appreciate the sentiment, but Spencer’s my boyfriend; nobody wants to protect him more than I do. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“I’m pretty sure we could give you a run for your money,” Emily says, her expression quickly transforming into something far more dangerous and challenging than only moments previously. “Spencer has something every single member of this team would die to protect. And if you get in our way, then we’re going to have a problem.”

“Emily, what, we’re friends.”

“Yeah,” she agrees, shrugging easily, “and I love you. But Spencer is my little brother, and I would do anything to stop him from getting hurt. As long as you don’t interfere with my primary mission, we’ll be fine.”

Hotch speaks before Derek can get a word in. “Derek, I knew Spencer long before you did. I remember the first time Gideon brought him to one of our lunches, and I saw something in him that made my heart ache. It didn’t take me long to realise that what I saw were the scars left by incredible deep-seated pain. Spencer has been through hell and back throughout his life, and he’s been hurt repeatedly by people who were supposed to protect him, including Gideon. I would do anything to prevent him from getting hurt by someone like that again, you hear me? Anything.”

As confusing as this all is, Derek can’t help but feel touched by Hotch’s earnest, emotional speech. Most of his nightmares these days revolve around Spencer getting hurt, and it’s kind of reassuring to know that he has so many people in the world who will stop at nothing to prevent those horrible dreams from spiralling into reality.

He can’t help but smile a little. “I’m glad he has you two,” Derek says honestly, looking between them, “but I can assure you that if I ever hurt Spencer for some unfathomable reason, your services wouldn’t be needed. I would hate myself enough for all three of us.” Even just considering the hypothetical possibility of hurting Spencer makes his stomach turn: it’s enough for him to know that he wouldn’t need Hotch and Emily to hold him accountable to that, his own self-loathing would be punishment enough.

It seems to appease Hotch and Emily, who Derek realises look sort of like intimidating twin mafia bosses standing over him like this, and they finally step back a little, posture relaxing.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?” Emily says, smiling for real this time. “Get your boy and get home. It’s getting late, you know.”

He rolls his eyes at her as he makes his way to the door.

“Oh, and Derek,” Hotch says, laying a hand on his shoulder, turning him before he can leave, a genuine smile on his face too, “I am actually happy for you and Spencer.”

Derek grins at that. He really is a lucky, lucky man. “Thanks, Hotch.”

“What was that about?” Spencer asks, his features twisting in curiosity as Derek makes his way across the bullpen to his boyfriend, Hotch and Emily emerging from the same room moments later.

Derek doesn’t answer properly, laughing instead. “You got some good friends, you know that?”

Spencer nods, still looking a little confused, but clearly deciding to let it go as he slings his messenger bag across his body, standing up from his desk. Derek slings an arm around Spencer’s shoulders, leading him towards the exit as his insides twist at the adorable blush that colours Spencer’s cheeks so prettily.

“Derek,” he hisses, “shouldn’t we be leaving separately?”

“I think it’s a little late for that,” he chuckles, looking over his shoulder. Spencer does the same, blushing even fiercer as he spots Hotch and Emily leaning against the railing, overlooking the bullpen with all-knowing looks on their faces.

“Oh my god,” Spencer mumbles, clearly embarrassed, but Derek just laughs again as they leave the bullpen and approach the elevators.

“Come on, pretty boy,” he sighs happily, sliding the arm around his shoulders to rest at his waist, fingertips pressing into the small frame of the boy he’s already falling in love with. “Let’s get you home. That penguin documentary awaits.”

“You’re gonna watch Emperors and Kings with me?” Spencer’s happy exclamation and the delighted expression on his face only warms his heart further, and in that moment he decides that he wants a happy Spencer and another nature documentary within his reach for the rest of his life.

Surprisingly, it’s not as terrifying a thought as it might once have been.

(If Derek thinks the shovel talk from Hotch and Emily is bad, though, it’s nothing compared to the one he gets from Penelope. By the end of the next day, he’s somehow reduced to tears that are both happy and the product of extreme terror, on the receiving end of a ‘baby girl’ ban for keeping it from her for so long. In the end, he decides that it’s probably an alright price to pay for everything beautiful that his life has blossomed into over the last few months.)

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @jellejareau @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @queerminalminds (taglist form)

#cm #criminal minds #my writing #cm fic #cm fanfiction #criminal minds fic #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction #derek morgan #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #penelope garcia #moreid #moreid fic #moreid fanfiction #derek morgan x spencer reid #spencer reid x derek morgan #derek morgan/spencer reid #spencer reid/derek morgan

233 notes · View notes

lokislittlesigyn · 2 years

Text

a personal post

((literally just a post about me as a person you do not have to engage with this if you don’t want to lol))

helloooooooooo

so the month is almost over, but after seeing a friend reblog some stuff about this and then reblogging it myself, i sort of got the Final Push to draw this and post this and i’m trying to be brave. :’D

so. april is autism acceptance month some people say “autism awareness” and while awareness is also important i like acceptance a bit more and i wanted to just. let y’all know! i am autistic!! hi!! it’s me!!!!

last year i went from not knowing what autism entailed to being diagnosed with it in the span of a few months. it was a wild ride. it’s taken me months to be able to Resist my deep-seated anxieties about “what if i gave a false positive without realizing it???” and try to embrace myself post-diagnosis. its been a little scary... most of the stuff id heard about autism beforehand was cruel, dehumanizing jokes, and truth be told, im still afraid people will mistreat me if/when they find out im autistic (just yesterday i told someone and i was literally shaking afterward), but i am trying to be brave anyway.

there is nothing wrong with being autistic, or having other kinds of neurodivergencies. this goes for any neurodivergency. we are not something to be cured or culled, we possess different kind of brain and these differences are beautiful. it can be hard because our world often isnt built for people who aren’t neurotypical, but that is reason for striving to do better for everyone.

this isn’t really going to change my content - although i have wondered if i write fics differently from others, or if i have accidentally slipped autism-esque mannerisms into fics... hmm... - everything ive made has been mine, and everything i make will continue to be mine. i just know a bit more about myself now, and im trying to accept and express myself more and more. but this blog has already helped me start that, tbh. marvel and loki Specifically is ABSOLUTELY a huge special interest of mine. can you tell loki is one of my special interests???? can you tell i love him so so so much and want to give him the world??? well i do. he’s the absolute best.

i also wanted to tell people as a way to boost my confidence and give others, who may feel alienated, misunderstood, or broken, a possible help somehow. if it wasnt for the therapists who helped me, i would probably still think i’m an unintelligent, strange, over-sensitive, takes-things-too-seriously weirdo who will simply never fit in and who will never feel truly safe with anyone. so if i can mention something that piques one’s curiosity, and potentially leads them to a helpful diagnosis? that’s worth it.

if you have any autistic friends, maybe take some time to talk to them and ask them if there’s a way you can support them! i also suggest just, reaching out to friends in general. go talk to someone. be kind to someone. ask about them and listen attentively. be good to one another, okay? and be good to yourself. <3

#personal #woah im a person??? wild #autism acceptence month #autism #asd #actually autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergency #<3 #sigyn is trying to be brave!!!#is it working?

12 notes · View notes

scoobscoobscoob · 3 years

Text

today is my best friend’s birthday and it’s hard not to compare it to mine last month bc i spent the entire day alone and not many ppl reached out to me and for some reason he thought it would be fun to do one of those late messages that were like “real friends say happy bday last” or something except that meant he didn’t talk to me all day and i thought he forgot on top of not coming back from his over a month trip away in time. (we have spoken about how this text thing was a mistake lol) anyways i spent most of the day feeling forgotten and lonely and miserable and now for his bday i sent him flowers and his gf sent him a plant and ppl keep reaching out asking if we’re planning anything for him and i’m trying to make tonight special bc it IS and it’s just like i am actually alone? it’s hard to explain but it’s the separateness i have always felt and now i know what it is which helps but also knowing what it is also means knowing that nothing can really change it. like i’m going to be autistic forever, i’m not magically one day going to be normal and have normal relationships. and i don’t even want that, like that’s kind of the point. i don’t wish to be normal anymore outside of wanting how i already am to be considered normal. i’m not close to any other autistic people and as much as the ppl i am close to accept and love me they just don’t GET it. and i can’t really talk to them about it bc when i do they just don’t get it. like i’m not alone bc i don’t literally have anyone, i am alone in no one understands me no matter what i do. like how we’ll never really know how our pets experience the world. im realizing that just how i exist is drastically different than the people i know and it’s isolating and lonely and i wish i knew more ppl like me but how tf do you even do that. i can’t keep trying to conform to neurotypical life (and i was always failing at it anyway) but i’ve also never seen someone like me live a life i’d want. i don’t have a blueprint to follow like other people and that’s always been my issue. making your own blueprint is exhausting. it’s also weird to feel this way in regard to your best friends when they truly aren’t doing anything wrong like they’re incredible. i’m just literally disabled and they aren’t

2 notes · View notes

normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

Note

I remember reading a fic, it was bottom Alec admittedly, but one of the things that stuck with me was how it mentioned that he didn't bottom often because it was overwhelming. Which then got me thinking about autistic Alec and sensory overload and maybe that's a thing you'd find interesting and put your own spin on? I don't know.

jsbsisnsisnssjdn i love how u guys always come to me and talk about bottom alec like it's the greatest sin you've ever partaken in udbdudndudndid really its fine, i mean its not my preference or hc but to each their own

anyway! i did like this question a lot and i tried to think a little about how autism and kink might intersect for alec specifically

tbh idk if i can give a good take on that because- im a bottom, so jdndudbdidnd. i mean of course I've topped but i think it's fundamentally different to top when thats something that you actually enjoy. like not that i dread topping and just the thought of it makes me cry or something but the pleasure i derive from it is...... way less. and more focused on the other parts of it that arent the act of topping itself

so due to that, i dont really know how topping, like, feels? if it's something that actively gets u hot and that u find enjoyable. so idk if bottoming is truly more overwhelming than topping, like. one of my partners is a Top™ and i think he gets as lost in topping as i get in bottoming, its exciting for him, just thinking about it Does Things to him you know xD and admittedly this partner in particular is a very intense person, with everything, but either way he does seem to feel topping and sex as a top and the pleasure he gets from that very intensely, so idk if it would be accurate to say that bottoming is more overwhelming. i think it depends on a lot of things, including the kind of play ur into - like if ur into denial or overstimulation and the such, definitely, but u dont necessarily are into them just because ur a bottom or even a sub (which, u know, are different things)

and my partners who are verses/switches say that it's different but not really more or less intense. just different

but definitely as a dom you get more control of the sensations, at least touch-wise (not much you can really do about noise, smell etc) so there's that. i also think that for autistic ppl theres frequently that feeling of not having a lot of control over ur life and how ur perceived, understood, etc, so domming can get particularly interesting/pleasurable in that sense. on the other hand, there's also the relief of subbing and getting clear instructions and just completely focusing on the tasks u have. or maybe that's my sub agenda. idk

either way i think being autistic wouldnt really sway anyone in either direction (being kinky or not, top or bottom, sub or dom, being into specific kinks etc) but im not an expert, maybe im wrong lol

but well, if you wanna talk specifically about autistic alec who also happens to be a dom/top and how he experiences that, a few things i think could be interesting:

domspace and hyperfocus: like because everything is so intense, the two can feel kind of similar? you know you get into domspace and it’s like, everything is so centered in the moment, but in like the best way possible? i imagine that for him reaching domspace is kind of even more intense than usual (not in a like... Lost In The Sauce way, where he can’t be aware properly, but it’s just, it’s extra good and it makes him feel grounded and present and like the noise in his head shuts up? he’s just focused on pleasuring his sub everything else kind of melts away and it’s basically just that. great intense pleasure and almost calm feeling, you know? i mean again i’m not a dom but. it’s what i imagine/have heard it feels like i guess)

sensorial issues: adjacent to last one i guess but just like reaching domspace and domming and the pleasure he derives from it kind of muffles the sensorial issues? again because he’s so focused and like, immersed in the feeling it all kind of disappears. also i mean, sex includes a lot of movement so yay to that! especially as i dom i think, if bondage for example is involved. and even if there’s like, a lot of touch and noise and stuff (again, magnus Screams) he kinda has control (again, especially as a dom) of how much stimuli there is and he gets and the fact that he derives pleasure from the noises, touches, etc kind of helps muffle them, if that makes sense? because the inside feelings overpower the outside feelings lmao and it’s like that sensation of floating and domspace and shit makes the actual physical sensations less acute sometimes. at least as a sub i do feel that way sometimes, like the pleasure gets so psychological and great i can’t really feel sensations, just the pleasure itself? so it’s like, id have to focus to be able to tell where exactly my partner is touching me, all i know is that it Feels Very Good. idk if that makes sense, it’s hard to put in words

feeling in control: i mean i feel like alec feels like he doesn’t have a lot of control over his life (look i know that he’s now in a position of power but even then, like, he’s always having to fight the people above them, you know? and he’s questioned at every damn minute because of his relationship. and for most of his life, he was trained to be a pawn, to the clave and to his parents, and hell, he couldn’t even control who he would marry. most of the time alec is fighting tooth and nail to be listened to, he doesn’t really get easy obedience and i definitely don’t think that he feels like he has a lot of control most of the time, which is why being a dom appeals to him, too. don’t get me wrong i’m not saying he isn’t damn competent and important because if he weren’t he wouldn’t have gotten where he is right now, but he’s not really in a position where everything is in his hands. especially with how much he has to endure and swallow up in his life. i see a lot of meta that’s like “alec’s a sub because he needs to let go of the control” and stuff, and while again, to each their own, i feel like this argument doesn’t really hold up when you look at how much he has to fight to be listened to, and that’s why it’s very appealing to have someone just, obey, and feel like the world is in the palm of his hands, not slipping away? that’s a very long parenthesis. and like not that you need to have a Very Deep Psychological Reason to be into kink but usually those things are linked in some sort of way). and the fact that he’s autistic plays into this, because so much of what he feels just has to be overlooked? he’s always having so suppress and/or deal with overload and the frustration of having to follow a bunch of random social rules and expectations and speak a thousand different languages into one (like body language, facial expressions, etc) and it’s like he always has to be grabbing everything by the seams. plus, obviously, he likes routine and method and predictability. so being a dom, being in control of what happens, being obeyed, knowing exactly what will happen during the scene, having the time to plan it and flesh it out, it just feels particularly good and grounding for him?

and like again im not saying that “wow autistic people are doms” or anything, just talking about how these things might intersect in his personal experience, considering his desires and the specifics of his life, his autism and etc

idk i feel like this answer wasn’t very coherent, or interesting, or good, but it’s what i have to offer fuahfiah thank you for this question tho, it was really nice for me to think about

#ask #anonymous #sh #shadowhunters #alec lightwood #dom alec lightwood #top alec lightwood #autistic alec lightwood #malec #dirty mention #dirty words #q

10 notes · View notes

and-i-uh · 4 years

Note

6? 22? Any other number you wanted to answer?

6- i dont have any stim toys, ive never really delved into that stuff, i was never really given the chance to explore stuff that would help me out with stimming and such. I also dont think i would like stim toys? Maybe i just have to try some but idk.

22- idk any specific songs i stim to. But ive stimmed while listening to mcr, and honestly i just stim to alot of the general songs i listen to. I really like singing along, i think thats a stim of mine, and some songs just listening to them is like stimming (anything with drums and/or guitars)

2- i like blankets a lot. Even if im hot and dont really need one, ill subconsciously grab the blanket on the couch and put it on my lap, and on my bed. There was one day i grabbed a pocket-sized beanie baby and put itin my hoodie pocket, and just knowing it was there made me happy. Also when i was with my friends one of them stuck their hands in my pocket and i panicked and like moved it out of their reach bc i was scared to get made fun of lol, it ended up being fine. I sleep with stuffed animals a lot. I think thats it

3- my school experiences were,,, not fun at all. Theres a lot to unpack there. My schools all had this thing called a “504 plan” or whatever. And it’s supposed to help people with certain disorders/disabilities. Mine only acknowledged my adhd as far as i know. Maybe my anxiety too. Some of the things that were supposed to ‘help’ were moving me to the front of the room, i got extended time to complete stuff (supposedly), extended time on certain tests (which i only saw on the act, literally i got no other extended time to do anything else. And after i got extended time on the act my scores shot up. Imagine the potential if i was given my actual extended time shit) and the meetings were hell. They started to have meetings with me in middle school, sixth grade i think. Having an administrator there, and my parents, and at least one teacher was terrifying to me. I think i cried every meeting. Honestly it felt like an interrogation to me, esp with all the damn eye contact and shit. My dad asked me if i wanted to continue it this year and i was immediately like fuck no nuh uh not happening. And whether or not I actually needed to be in the front of the room depended on the class, teacher, the people in there, but a lot of the time i would just be moved to the front and i would hate it. In eighth grade my math teacher moved me from the back of the room (a favorite seat in that class) to the front of the room in the middle of class for like a week. It was honestly humiliating and the only time i was eventually able to express my opinion on the 504 shit. Actually my freshman math teacher did that too. Ahaha moving on now before this gets too long.

4/5- three negative and positive things about being autistic.

Pros-

(1) i dont really have a chance to not have a hobby. Ive always got an interest to keep me entertained and i like that.

(2) stimming is nice, i like it, im not afraid to let myself stim. Makes me feel better.

(3) im unique and shit. I have a different pov than other people and that allows me to have different ways of thinking. I think outside the box ig. I also have this weird version of confidence and objectivity that I appreciate in myself

Cons-

(1) its hard to feel like i belong somewhere, bc im so different. Im getting better at it but im not good at getting close to people.

(2) i also like,, dont have certain permanence? Like object permanence? A lot of the time i dont really miss things/people unless im somewhere that reminds me of them. Idk if it’s negative really but its something,, even a spin, like bts, i dont really miss them that much until i do. Theyre still very important to me but yeah

(3) people dont really get me the same way other people get other people. And its hard for me to explain it to people. And theres certain people i get more than others. Its weird.

7- people need to give autistics a chance to be heard. Apply the accommodations you “give” them. Dont put them in the spotlight and give them space when needed. We are what you might call “picky” too. Eating, learning, socializing, we have our own things we need to be able to do shit. Learn them. Let us stim. Encourage us to learn about ourselves and remind us that youre there for us. But dont try to help us unless we ask or we actually need help. Dont trigger meltdowns on purpose, stop using the r word even in passing like its not a big deal. Be more than aware of us, accept us, appreciate us. Dont be a bystander.

8- i dont have much experience with meltdowns? I think? If i have i didnt have chances to recover. I had to go back to class or something. Idk how to recognize them in me either.

10- showering. Thats a big thing that even though i kinda need i forget to do. Except during school. I had a whole routine in the morning and i was super punctual. If i didnt shower i would be late, miss the bus, forget something.

12- meat. The way it feels. Disgusting. How do people eat it and not feel like dying? Same with lettuce. Spinach is fine but every time i try to eat lettuce I almost throw up. Bell peppers, pickles, vinegar, mayo, eggs usually, cheese sometimes. Just off the top of my head. One time i tried putting lettuce on my burger, was feeling adventurous, and after biting down i had to just take the lettuce off. Another time, my stepmom (newly married to my dad) made slads for us, and i was skeptical. There was white stuff all over the salad and she wouldnt tell me what it was. I tried eating a little carrot stick thing and almost vomited. Thats when she learned I cannot eat mayo. Even if idk that its mayo i still cant fuckin eat it. She forced me to eat bell peppers one time. Didnt go well at all. At all.

(Not gonna do the spin one bc ive already talked about them and if i do again itll be too long)

15- yes! I only do big stuff(?)(like yelling n shit) when im completely alone. Like if im home alone. Bc i get so loud. Sometimes ill hum in my room or sing to myself in my room though. Its so fun. As for phrases i repeat, ill repeat anything i find interesting. In a movie or song, or even something a friend said. One time my mom said the phrase “tough titty said the kitty but the milks still good” and i went around the kitchen repeating it until she got annoyed. Also sometimes something in the room will have a constant sound and ill like think a phrase to that sound repeatedly. Idk how to explain it lol. Idk if thats echolalia either

16- rocks. Typical i know, collecting rocks. But i just cant help it. I see a rock i like, i pick it up, take it home. I used to collect sticks. And when i was in elementary school, i used to pick shit up off the playground. Beer bottle caps was a favorite. Apparently the school called my mom about it bc they found my stash and thought it was from home and my parents were drinking excessively. 😬 oops

18- introverted?

19- kinda depends. Idk. I really cant tell wow. I would probably say hypersensitive. Just cause i have a ton of sensory issues and a lot of stuff bothers me. Like types of clothes. And how things are resting on my body. Yeah i guess i am hypersensitive.

20- i used to struggle with self love a lot. And sometimes i still kinda do. But in the past few years ive really started appreciating myself and trying to learn a lot about myself. Its going well id say.

21- empathy. Hmm. I think im very empathetic, actually. I can always tell when someone is feeling uncomfortable in a situation. And when i should tell people to back off of them if they wont say it themselves. And im very uncomfortable when theres secondhand embarrassment. And bullying, in something im watching or reading. Yknow, I actually cant watch mean girls. I just. I tried, i had to walk away bc I couldn’t take it. It also kinda triggers me so theres that. Bc of the bullying. But yeah im very empathetic. Otherwise socially im not good at that.

23- nope. Ive got like no support system other than tumblr and online friends. Apparently my dad refused to acknowledge im autistic and hes my favorite parent. Thats his big flaw though. And if i “came out” to him and said it myself he would probably come around. I know hes not completely nt either. My Opa has ocd, so nuerodiversity runs in the family ig.

While making this i got distracted and went on insta for like an hour oops lol

24- steampunk cosplay? Or college dorm tips? The steampunk one was freshman year, and the college dorm one was fifth grade. It lasted well into sixth grade and seventh grade.

#actually autistic #autism #autism acceptance #special interest #ask #spin #spins #autistic

4 notes · View notes

defensematrix · 5 years

Note

Give us the good boy Bap tips 👀 I’ve been playing him a lot and it’d be nice to learn some new things!

yall want TIPS? yall want to see an autistic ramble at full power for an embarrassingly long post??

OKAY so baptiste is a really interesting support hero in that he rewards good mechanics, but he isnt completely useless if your aim isnt that good, especially if you just focus on healing your team and using your abilities

that being said! his primary fire can be very deadly and its absolutely worth it to practice using his gun so you can take out enemies on your own. his burst fire is a little weird to get used to, but after a while ive found that his gun plays really similar to soldier, so if youve played him bap might be a little easier

baptist’s spread is a vertical three round burst that looks like this:

(i tried to get an in-game pic but it didnt show up well lol)

the shape of it means that its better to aim his crosshair at the neck of heroes as opposed to their head, but the verticality is mainly due to his recoil. as such, it helps a lot if you pull down slightly when you shoot

heres a gif of me shooting at the head without fighting the recoil

and one where i am. note that at this range it only takes two shots

baptistes primary fire is best used when:

behind a shield/in a bunker. baptiste can help a lot with shield wars so dont just pump grenades into your team afraid that they might take tiny bits of damage if you focus on something else for a second

to finish off low health targets. it helps if your team calls them out but usually you’ll have to keep an eye out yourself. baptiste is very good for this as opposed to trying to get solo kills, especially if you just have average mechanics (like me)

in chaotic teamfights that could go either way, use your best judgement as to whether to do damage or healing. on attack, i would say to try being more offensive, and on defense always be defensive with his kit unless youre the only person left alive

against tanks and certain squishies (hes really good against pharah/mercy, zen, junkrat, etc, but has trouble fighting tracer/mini dva and snipers that are out of range)

when using his ultimate. the extra damage is actually really good

important note as of the current patch (6/18): baptistes ult is bugged so that it doesnt amplify healing, so dps away until its fixed lol

now onto his healing grenades!

they have a lot less range than you would think (like 3m i think) its good to go into the practice range and see for yourself just how close they have to be to hit teammates so you have a better feel for it in game.

he does 60 heals per second (120 when his matrix,, actually works.) and has 12 ammo per clip, making him a decent primary healer.

in general, his healing works best when youre on the high ground, due to them being grenades. so use his jump boots to take high ground as needed to heal your team! also, if youre in an area that has open sky, they can be shot directly up into the air for a delayed healing effect

technically, you can shoot his primary and secondary fire at the same time, but its rare that doing so would actually be helpful imo, where you aim for each is very different. i guess it wouldnt hurt to practice it just in case

also, his grenades have the same projectile trajectory as his immortality field, which is good to keep in mind if you want to aim the field more precisely. when i first picked up baptiste i made a lot of mistakes bc i flung it way too far lol

speaking of his immortality field, my Most General baptiste tip would be to use his ultimate on cooldown like an ability (since it charges so fast) and to use his immortality field like an ultimate

if you play zenyatta or lucio, i would compare using it to their ultimates. ive found that the longer i wait before using it the better (in my replays i see myself use it too early out of panic and the result is Sad), but you dont want to avoid using it completely and end up with a dead team. finding the balance is hard but it comes with practice

like lucios ult (and sometimes zen) it can be used for initiation! i had a really good team that fought a bastion bunker on paris with dive, and i helped by throwing my immortality frisbee on top of the bastion when they went in. if you have a winston, try throwing it in after him when he initiates

its also very important to pay attention to where exactly the frisbee ends up, because if you place it right, it cant be hit by the enemy team. try to place it slightly behind cover whenever possible. this is by far the most abusable part of his kit and i wouldnt be surprised if the duration of it gets nerfed to compensate. so if you want to cheese your way up the ranks, go into each map in custom games and practice where to put the field so that enemies cant hit it. this alone wont do much if you dont have the game sense to know when to do it, though

ultimates that immortality field is good at countering:

GRAV. zaryas get so mad about this bc people forget to shoot it and its so funny. also hanzos dragons cant kill the field so it can counter that combo entirely, just be sure to communicate to your zen so they dont waste ult

dva bomb/junkrat, but it will be instantly destroyed and your team will be very low health, so be careful. it also counters pulse bomb if you get stuck

earth shatter. if you suspect rein has it, stick to the high ground at all costs to avoid being caught! this is good advice in general for supports, but especially for ones with defensive abilities

in that same vein, you can counter emp if you can avoid being caught by sombra. note that sombra can hack baps frisbee so watch out

genji. genji can kill the field but it takes away from the amount of slashes he has and in this time your team should be able to kill him. if hes nanoboosted, you have less time to get to safety, so try charging your boots to get away from him in the meantime

mccree. high noon cant target the field. press f for everyones favorite trash cowboy. (it can however help friendly mccrees and pharahs from dying as soon as they hit q so try to combo!)

speaking of pharah, its possible to get her to kill herself with barrage if you put your frisbee right in front of her face

not good ultimates to try to counter:

doomfists ult can be avoided by charging your shoes and jumping up in the air (as long as youre not directly beneath him lol) so its not worth it unless you see someone else about to be smashed

related to doomfist, if he gets on you it can be hard to set the field down right bc of how his abilities displace you, so be sure to look straight down when you use it

reaper, soldier, and bob all auto target the field, so if its out in the open it just disintegrates

torbjorn and hammonds ults also kill the field pretty much immediately

also, as good as immortality is, there are some situations where baptiste just doesnt work as well as other heroes. if you have a good zen or lucio who use their ults well, or if you have a really mobile/spread out comp, you might want to pick one of the other main healers.

if in general you feel like youre not doing enough healing, try switching to mercy to reach your teammates better. if you need crowd control or anti heal then pick ana, and moira can be good at lower ranks if youre not getting any peel/dying too much (just please keep focusing on healing)

on that note, if your other healer insists on playing dps moira, baptiste is a good fit since he can main heal and also provide defense abilities to make up for that

as for his regenerative burst, all i really have to say is to try not to use it out of panic every time you take chip shots (i do this still lol) it works best when you and your teammates are all in a fight, actively taking damage

im sure that even with all i wrote im still forgetting something but i think im gonna call this done for now. i uhhhh love baptiste a lot and think hes a good hero to try to rank up with bc his primary fire has a high skill ceiling but his healing/abilities are more forgiving at lower ranks

#baptiste #long post #god i really wrote all this out and made gifs #this is Fun for me ok #used bold mostly to just break up.. all of this #Anonymous

20 notes · View notes

catboyfeli · 5 years

Note

Please tell me those smiley faces mean you are joking about that. Hard to read tone on the net, but I think, and hope, you are kidding to troll the new troll. If not, my worry meter is a little past 50 already but trying to remain calm in case you are kidding. Plz don't do it if you are not in fact kidding. I won't give you the old song and dance + confidence phrases, but I will say they just ain't worth it. Instead imagine them being flamed in the butt by Spyro or ate by a giant Pacman.

hey. sorry for freaking down

my ex friend of six years decided he hates me now because i have the wrong opinions, like yknow shipping incest and all that, and some other drama happened, but honestly just fuck him, thats not what really set me off, it just made it worse. on top of that, at that very moment i got his message, my account on quotev had been disabled and ip banned for no reason

turns out someone found my private rant account and reported me lmao. i said rping rape in private is ok and everyone was pissed. even tho it Literally Is okay and many csa victims use that to cope

they then proceeded to make fun of my stories on ao3 and just. people really love makin fun of depressed autistics that are actively suicidal just bc they have ~weird~ interests. i tag my incest ships for anyone whos uncomfortable with it so it’s hurting literally Nobody. i grew up in a conservative christian as hell family so god forbid i explore my sexuality via harmless fiction. also couldve been an incest victim as a child for all i know since i remember having a dream abt that when i was a kid lol

anyway! i was suicidal as hell, nearly self harmed, was planning on killing myself tonight, contemplated calling someone, but eventually decided to talk to my mom and she talked to me long enough for the mental breakdown to subside.

today has been hell. my bpd has reached its limits for today. i cannot grow any more numb. i need a nap and someone to cry on. thanks for caring btw.

when i feel better im totally writing something more fucked up out of spite. fiction is fiction and y’all are literal dictators getting people’s innocent accounts DELETED for having opinions u don’t like. antis are literally evil confirmed tho.

no hate comments on ao3 so far though. clearly im just too damn good for them to insult B) maybe i write weird shit but im damn good at it. y’all are just jealous i’m not in your fandoms.

yeah that last part is just an act. im dead inside. but im still writing ~bad~ stuff when i feel better out of pure spite.

also hey. lmk if you have any other social media. we should talk more. i might take a break from tumblr bc its Toxic so yeah

#ask #long post #ignore #incest tw #rape tw #anti anti #suicide tw #self harm tw

1 note · View note

viralhottopics · 8 years

Text

PewDiePies Fall Shows the Limits of LOL JK

YouTube star PewDiePie’s fall from grace riled uphis 53 million subscribers, but unless you’re a Gen-Z videogamer, you may find the name splashed acrossmany a headline this weekunfamiliar.Lucky you. AfterThe Wall Street Journal reported on his pattern of using anti-Semitic jokesin his videos,Disney’s Maker Studios cut ties with the internet celeb, and YouTube canceled the second season of his streaming reality show. People might applaud what look like swift measures, but themoves are long overdue.

PewDiePiethe online alter ego of 27-year-old Swede Felix Kjellbergis famous for two things: outsized reactions tothe games he plays, and trolling. Given the impossibility of knowing whether he means what he says, you can’t always know how to respond when he does something like, say, hire people to hold up a sign saying“Death to all Jews.” His fans take him seriously but not literally; his critics take him literally but not seriously. Sort of like another divisive figurein the news these days.

But PewDiePie started racking up questionable jokes almost from the start of his YouTube career nearly seven years ago. Given that long tradition, and the fact he recently claimed that YouTube discriminates against him because he’s white, his fanbase goes beyond gamers. PewDiePie has become a bona fidewhite-supremacist hero.

Hiding Behind “LOL JK”

PewDiePie enjoys extraordinary popularity. His YouTube audience exceedsthe subscriber base of Hulu, Apple Music, andThe New York Times combined. Fansadore him because he embodies so much of whatYouTubeand, really, the internetloves: zaniness,rough-at-the-edges authenticity, and deadpan mockery.

That mix, though, often leads to a classic internet problem. “Offline you have context clues. You know if someone is going to punch you in the face, right?” says Whitney Phillips, author of This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things: Mapping the Relationship Between Online Trolling and Internet Culture. “But on the internet, you can’t tell if something was intended as a joke or a sincere expression.” Offensive “humor” further confuses the mix:Whileit’s important to call outthings like racism, sexism, ableism, and homophobia, doing so plays into trolls’ hands. They insist they aren’t spouting hatred, only proving that you can’t take a joke.

PewDiePie long ago mastered this move. He uses“gay,” “retard,” and “autistic” as playful insults. He makes plenty ofrape jokes. And he spews out all kindsof racist stuff, too. Take, for example, hiscommentary in this 2011 let’s-play video that includes the Swedish version of the N-word.

youtube

In the subtitles, he translates the word as“black,” but it’s hard to argue the word he uses is anything but a racial slur. (The Swedish Ornithological Society evenrenamed birds to eliminate any reference to the term.) Another Swedish YouTube user pointed this out and criticized PewDiePie for usingthe term but PewDiePie’s supporters, who call themselves the Bro Army, didn’t care. Neither did YouTube.

He used the N-word again, in English, in this video posted last month.

youtube

His fans’ negative reactions spawned two hashtag movements on Twitter: #pewdiepieisover and the more gleeful #pewdiepieisoverparty. But this is Twitter, so of course the racist elements of the Bro Army quickly co-opted them.

#pewdiepieisover Geezes peoples, calm the fuck down he said a word with no racist intentions. Get back to the cotton field and contemplate.

lemmy antonis (@lemmyantonis) January 12, 2017

PewDiePie’s casual offensiveness doesn’t end with the N-word. In another let’s-play video, he mentions thathe can’t see people when they’re “too black,” and fans mention thathe’s been known to say that “black things” scare him.

youtube

This 2017 video, in which he decided whether he would “smash,” pass on, or sell particular people into slavery is basicallya loaded baked potatoof racist and misogynist tropes.

youtube

In this face-swapping video he repeatedly uses an image of actress Leslie Jones to representHarambe, the gorilla killed in the Cincinnati zoo last year. I shouldn’t have to explain what’s wrong with that.

youtube

None of this means that anything that offends anyoneis off limits as a joke. But jokes that goof onracism are different than jokes that rely on race—a fine line to be sure. Even comics known to get away with it (like Sarah Silverman) sometimes miss the mark. What PewDiePie does in these videos is the 4chan version: repeat racist terms and insist they have outlived their offensiveness and are now hilarious.

But PewDiePie recently wentbeyond racist joking.In December 2016 heannounced plans to delete his YouTube channel once it reached 50 million subscribers because the platform had changed its homepage, a move that meant his viewers saw fewer videos, and less often. Coming from so towering a figure, this was a big deal. Bigger still? His reasoning. Ina jittery rant, he claimed that “YouTube wants my channel gone. They want someone else on top. They want someone really extremely cancerous, like Lilly Singh. Im white. Can I make that comment? But I do think thats a problem.

Singhbetter known by her YouTube alias, Superwomanis a Canadian-Indian rapper and comedian whose songs, parodies, and calls for positivity and #GirlLove have wonher more than11 million subscribers. Days after his rant, facingwithering criticism, PewDiePie claimedeverything he said about Singh was satire. The belated“LOL JK” is, of course, a defense favored byMilo Yiannopoulos and othertrolls, one thatraises questions of intent versus effect. “Its the impact that matters,” Phillips says. “I think weve reached an era where that ‘I was just trolling’ excuse needs to be retired.”

Becoming an Alt-Right Darling

PewDiePie’s reaction, though, also tooka step in a new direction. By claimingthat mediaoutlets takinghis words literally amounted to slanderand by calling publications that did so“the clearest form of cancerhe added media paranoia to his recipe of open prejudice and dog-whistling, making himan immediate poster boy for white supremacists. Check out the banner leadingneo-Nazi Andrew Anglin’s The Daily Stormer, which the Southern Poverty Law Center calls the top hate site in America.

The image has been up for weeks, says Heidi Beirich, director of the SPLC’s Intelligence Project. “With PewDiePie, the question is, How did it take them so long?” shesays of Disney and YouTube dumping PewDiePie. “Neo-Nazis have been loving this guy. And because he has this massive following, they see those people as supporting their views.”

If anything, Disney and YouTube elevated PewDiePie’s standing in the so-called alt-right movement’s eyes by sending him packing. Just look at the alt-right’s preferred social media platform, Gab.

So, intentionally or not, the YouTube celebrity stepped intothe political arena.“There has always been a strong feedback loop between public figures, broadcast media, and social media activity,” says Anthony McCosker, an expert ondigital and social media at Swinburne University of Technology in Melbourne, Australia. “I think the current push toward nationalism, tapping into exclusionary and racist sentiment, is driven and emboldened by online activity.”

This all places much of theresponsibility onDisney and YouTube;chipping away fromPewDiePie’s already staggering annual income ($15 million in 2016) doesn’t prove much to anyone. “They’re handmaidens to some pretty ugly sentiments,” Beirich says. “YouTube has refused to develop AI systems to hunt down extremist material. We at SPLC have been doing their legwork and reporting it for them, but that’s an inefficient system.”

You’ll have trouble finding consensus on what to do with someone like PewDiePie, especially because his reach is so global. In Austria this week, authorities arrested a man for dressing as Hitler in the Nazi leader’s hometown. Should PewDiePie enjoyspecial privileges because his Hitler costume appeared online? In America, satire has always been protected speechand there are overwhelmingly compellingreasons to keep it that waybutin a time of “alternative facts,” satire becomesincreasingly hard to identify.

You can’t smooth the ripples PewDiePie’s videos created, but you canslow their spread. PewDiePie’s business model revolves around grabbingviewers’ attention, holding it, and keeping them coming back for more. The real #pewdiepieisoverparty will happen when people start clicking Unsubscribe.