#There are worse looks I guess lol
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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“hufwe instruments” SYE'OTXANG, THE WORD YOU’RE LOOKING FOR IS SYE'OTXANG 😭
#frontiers of pandora#afop#lì'fya leNa'vi#based on how it’s worded I’m not sure if they intended to imply that “hufwe” by itself could refer to wind instruments#(it just means “wind” so this sentence looks like it says “they’re accompanied by the wind!” um what 😅)#or if they were doing the fanfic thing of throwing a word in arbitrarily for “hufwe instrument” instead of “wind instrument”#and tbh idk which one’s worse 🙃 lol#the first is straight-up incorrect unless they meant literal wind somehow#the second is not technically *wrong* i guess but it's just Very Unnecessary™ 😅
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Yuma Month: Day 3: Past
Nothing but an empty husk of your former self.
#Yuma Month 2024#rain code#master detective archives: rain code#mdarc#rain code spoilers#master detective archives spoilers#raincode spoilers#yuma kokohead#pixeldoodles#my art#I was stumped on what to do with this one#wanted to try a ‘ghost of the past’ kinda thing??#everyone’s either drawing yuma as number one or him being distraught over his memories#so I thought okay I’ll do both?#said i'd never draw number one again oh look at that lol#this design's even worse he just looks like girl yuma x-x#gah these prompts are hard ugh#who knows what he was like as number one we can only guess...
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saw someone categorise the hypmic characters based by their last names and sometimes that’s a seating arrangement style in jp classrooms so i arranged them as so lol
#vee queued to fill the void#i added the chuuoku women to try and get as many seats filled since 18 is a hard number to make look nice#(as if 21 doesn’t have the same problem lmao)#but i almost regret doing that lol doppo could have been with his fellow 29 year olds and sasara and rosho could have sat together rip 😭😭😭😭#but i guess samatoki can be happy he’s by his sister lmao#and doppo has jakurai at least lol but frfr rip rosasa lmao#i also feel really bad gentaro is all alone 💀 ramudice got to sit together but gentaro is in a corner in the front THIS IS SO SAD LOL#i need a better seating arrangement lol 7x3 looks so bad but gentaro in a corner feels even worse lmao
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brothers, sisters, i literally want to turn myself inside out like those octopus plushies like...
i am SO tired
more and more i feel like i'm not even living anymore. i don't even have a sense of time anymore. my brain is either rotating like a turd in aerated water, attached to nothing, or sticks to the most random tasks like a fridge magnet i have no control over
my life feels like that window of time between waking up and 2pm when you have an appointment scheduled and can't do anything. literally waiting for i have absolutely no clue what. waiting for things to return to normal? to feel like myself? idk man. send help
#life#i have therapy tomorrow and i think i'm freaking out a little#last session was in the middle of my proverbial penthouse collapsing#and it just made it worse because i left feeling sort of hopeless?#i'm doing my best trying to manage my own expectations but it's like.. i've been waiting so long to even get there#and i feel like we're making very little progress#so i'm uh... como se dice... a bit scared#because therapy is about the only thing i have going on in terms of trying to crawl out of this hole#and i'm scared that shit's gonna collapse and then i do what?? yaknow#i'd kill to be mid-july mel sipping on my iced drink looking back at all these posts of me whining and going 'damn that was wild lol'#anyway... gonna watch a funny video on the tube to calm down i guess ✌️😗
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recent things and such~
#photo diary#image 1 - kind of interesting lacy looking clouds. Image 2 - pinky purple sunset stuff#image 3 - These REALLY cool flowers I saw in a field ? growing wild so like.. weeds I guess. but I like the color of them and how the#petals are small and layered. Image 4 & 5 - More recent hair growth progress. I still think it will never get much longer because#it's been basically the same lenght for multiple years now BUT I do feel like maybe it's getting like... just the tiniest bit longer?? Just#not as obvious of progress as the first few years. Like now if I take it out of the braids and actually hold it so it goes straight down th#very tips of the hair on one side goes down to the tip of my pointer finger. and on the other side goes a little past my thumb. and I#remember maybe last year or two years ago it was only to my knuckles or like midway down my thumb. so.. perhaps it's not reached a#maximum genetic possible length just YET as I'd thought it had maybe lol.. perhaps I could slowly gain a cenitmeter or two#here and there gjbjh.. Unfortunately incredibly doubtful it will ever be down to my knees though as I had wished. oh well.#image 6 - writing again... as always... Slowly chipping away... And looking for ways to make it go faster lol. The original premise was 8#main characters with 6 quests for each. Then it was 5 with 6 quests. Now it's 4 with 4 quests each. And even that I'm like hmm... what#about having only 3... so it could be done faster... lol.. I think mostly just because I have no gaurantee of investment. So it's like#I could spend years and years doing 500.000+ words of writing and then have about 3 people total actually play the game and nobody cares#and nothing ever comes of it. You know? So I have to balance that somehow. And rather that put out the 100% complete version#be putting out like 'here's ENOUGH of it for you to see what the concept is and what it's like. and IF theres any investment then I#can put in the effort to finish the few bits that I left in more of a preview form'' type of thing. And then it's like.. well if I'm#limiting the initial scope anyway - how much is enough to cut away? and how much would be TOO much? etc. etc. I'm pretty sure I#already have it down to a balanced minimum but some days when I'm very stressed over my ability to actually finish anything I'm like..#ehhhh..maybe I could make another main character into a side character.. as a treat lol..#image 7 - cabbage noodle beef stir fry sort of thing. As usual I kind of cook the beef too long because I'm afraid of getting sick if it's#underdone despite preferring medium rare steak lol.. Funnily because usually making something at home has the advantage of you#being able to do it Exactly The Way You Like It whereas me cooking meat is often like.. ah yes.. the worse way that I dont even like. love#to make a tough chewy anxiously overcooked protein puck for myself. :3 Images 8 - 10 -- various plants from the deck. though#some of these pictures are old and they're no longer alive lol.. Most of my plants actually do live through the winter because I#painstakingly move them inside and outside and inside and outside depending on the temperatures. But sometimes.. one cannot#help but be lost. Especially the temperature change sometimes can make them more prone to mold and stuff. and humidity is#hard to control indoors. There's always one or two that deteriorate despite my best efforts. But that's better than every single one of the#dying because they alll freeze when it gets to 20F one night and I left them outside or something lol#ANYWAY.. hrm.. still working on friend quiz thing... and sculptures.. and videos maybe?? costumes... rghhhghhrrr.. (< to do list angst)
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i thought their voices made for a pretty interesting combination, so i made a little test thing to show it off
ust by Zoë (@/half-a-head)
#my video lol#my audio lol#i guess it counts as both?? can i really call it cover tho if its so short#oliver vocaloid#根音ネネ#nene nene#machigerita#vocaloid#utau#yeah whatever i guess i'll put tags for organization. asjdngkjfnkjfjdmg i can fix/edit them better later if i decide eeeee#this mix might still have its issues but pls 😭 it was my first time using cakewalk so dont b mean to me#and it wasnt meant to be something super final and polished anyways again this was just a little fun test so ye. idk if ill make a full ver#i also wanted to make a better little video but since it wasnt a full thing and i was running out of time i just made this instead#which i still think is good for these purposes anyways? i do need to practice/experiment more with aviutl#maybe a bit of a morbid song choice for their bdays lmaoo... but HEY IT COULD BE WORSE#(looking at how i drew piko getting his fucking heart ripped out by bestie miki for his bday last year lmao)#and also if youre a vsynth in my computer unfortunately you are doomed to my morbid ass song taste lol i dont make the rules#well. i do. its my computer. and per the rules actually yes sing little fucked up songs for me vsynths... hahahahah...
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#lol i love seeing just straight up bullying on tiktok(/s)#someone(im guessing) went into a discord server for proshipping#and then posted their face reveals on tiktok!?!??!?!#basically saying: look how ugly and weird they look#like what the fuck#just bcs you dont agree with someones opinion ON SHIPPING#doesnt mean you should blast them on socmed?#they posted those pics in a trusted space :(#why are people so cruel and vindictive nowadays#people who make it their whole personalities to shit on pros OR antis are so embarrassing#just keep to yourself and keep your personal moral highground you know?#like they go low we go higher etc#cause on tiktok people will post very bait proshipper tiktoks#to the point where i honestly think they're 100% antis who just wanna sow discourse and disgust#like when i see those people im like just ignore them???#just dont engage man. you end up encouraging people to do worse and worse just to cause drama#but yeah antis in return will make all their posts 'correcting' these obv bait posts#like both of you get a life and just do things that make you happy. not things that obv upset you#idk it kinda sickens me how much time people devote to activities that clearly doesn't make them happy#even if youre pleased about dunking on people you morally disagree w +#wouldnt you feel happier engaging with content that yknow. fills you with genuine enjoyment?#not enjoyment fueled by disgust or morally superiority#idk some people feel like children so i shouldnt care too deeply. but the amnt of toxic behavior is so disturbing to me#the posting of faces got on my nerves badly. no matter if you disagree with someone#you shouldnt just straight up expose their face on your big acct BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN SHIPPING OPINION#and the fact that the point is to imply they're all ugly. so fucking childish and disgusting#i reported but idk if that'd do anything. i wish i could have an honest dialog w people like that tbh#catie.rambling.txt
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Next time we should just skip over ep 3 and do a chapters 84-87 reread
#Mmmmmmhhhh.#Well. If anything you can always tell when there's a ss/kk episode by the fact that it takes me two hours to watch it lol#What can I say. I'm a compulsive screencap taker#Mmmmmmhhh... I was right it wasn't as bad as I remembered it. Still moderately bad but not all bad.#It's just. I can feel the animators did their best.#I suppose it's just a difficult episode to animate within a short time frame since it's a specifically action packed one.#And the lack of time really shows. Like there *are* some detailed animated passages here and there. But then there's also these long static#shots that stretch on forever that are just... Idk. A little saddening to see I guess? Like the animators really ran out of time for them#There's also a big component of... I just can't vibe with the newfound artstyle. Like it looks soooo much worse than s1 in my opinion#Which you know‚ is only subjective! But eh... The distance between s2ep11 and this feels abyssal.#Everyone looks so ugly oftentimes. Like even in curated shots‚ they're just very rough and ungraceful.#Which like?? How could you look at Harukawa's art and come up with //that//??????? But it's whatever#And the pacing is so so off 😭😭😭 God please to death with 11 episodes long seasons give us filler episodes back. Please!!!!#The pacing is atrocious and it has not even to do with the animation. Even greatly animated episodes suffer from it.#Mmmmhh... I don't particularly like Fukuchi's vacting... He doesn't sound tired enough. Nor as pitiful as much as he should tbh#Among the three I feel like only Uemura really nails the job. I'm so sorry Onoken but I feel like even Akutagawa needs to sound vulnerable–#once in a while‚ you know? Although‚ if he's only going with how Bones depicts him‚ then I get why he would act him out like that 😭😭😭#There were so many reused shots too... The ones from the end of s2ep11... The s3ep12 kokko zessou one... Ss/kk running in the corridors...#Overall. Not as bad as I remembered it. But at the same time I get why I was so distraught because they really wasted the best four–#chapters of the manga just like that.#The “is his life that precious to you” moment was terrible 😭😭😭 Head in hands fr#Oh well. I babble a lot but it was okay. Like at least it wasn't season 3 kind of bad. And definitely wasn't t/pn s2 kind of bad LOL#I just hope ss/kk will be made justice in the future (╥﹏╥)#Especially since their new scenes (current manga events) are possibly going to be adapted in the first episodes of the new season.#If Bones pulls another s5ep3 on them you're going to see me on the news#Then again I have hope the arc finale will be adapted in a movie... Who knows...#Most of all I hope they change art style direction again D:#random rambles#Whaaaa it's so late already!!!#Edit: Oh also to not forget I've made like. One hundred posts. Maybe it's time to unfollow me now if you haven't already D:
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Becoming jewish because being a lawyer is too much work
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#meme#this is a joke if it wasn't clear#(also i'm doing a branch of medicine instead of law which is probably worse. lol.)#i'm thinking about that story where g-d Himself told those rabbis They Were Wrong Actually and they still said#'three votes are still more than two. lol.' like even if that's a joke it's iconic#actually in terms of becoming jewish... i guess in a way you almost do become like a lawyer in terms of jewish law#like you study how different customs and different ways the law applies and then you can (if need be) argue it#like how in shul the rabbi and a member were discussing/arguing about the order of havdalah and the purim party#like they were arguing until they went 'okay so let's do the thing that ovserves the most mitzvot'#i just realized i used 'like' thrice. that is way too much#see being jewish appeals to me for the same reason medicine and academia appeals to me: the learning factor#and the way that learning is prioritized over for instance... like looking good or Looking like you are doing good deeds#though if law wasn't often stuffy and the justice system did Not Suck i would maybe want to be an Actual Lawyer#i love arguing with people. i love that everything in the world we ever talk about is an argument. i love defending Topics#i would be a Menace in court. like phoenix wright if he were a little rabid
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Haru with the blue colour contacts is so threatening ngl. Love that for her, she’s doing it on purpose isn’t she
Also, how does ryuji get away with his terrible eyesight and none of the thieves even notice? I get that the metaverse is nice to people with eye troubles (points at your akechi and joker eyesight headcanons) but like in the real world surely someone knows/figures out he’s being stubborn about glasses to some degree
(original post for context)
#i mean theyve *noticed* & theyre probably aware that his vision isnt exactly 20/20 but they dont know just how ass it actually is#probably the worst they think it is is still like ''reading glasses'' territory lol#some of the 'cover up' is just happenstance; he does have issues w text bc of undiagnosed-but-its-probably-adhd#its just gotten worse as his vision has. obviously.#he also is mega embarrassed and thinks hed look lame as hell w glasses and doesnt want to spend the $$ on all of that shit#so hes very committed to lying abt this#p5#ryuji sakamoto#asks & requests#comics#i... guess?#and yeah i changed harus blue contacts like 7 times cuz it felt super shocking but decided the super shocking bit was funny as fuck#so she definitely wears those like. once or twice a month and does not acknowledge it just to keep everyone on their toes
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Super appreciate people like thinking of me and Iike hoping I feel better and stuff. Thank you lots.
But like I’m fine. I know I was complaining and venting, and all that stands. But I’m okay. I have a handful of less than ideal relationships in my life that are def stressful. I’m stressed today because of it. But it’s also something I’m really used to and it’s not something at the center of my life usually. Prolly shouldn’t be something I’m as used to. But eh, it is what it is.
#does a little bit remind of how when I was talking to my therapist one day and describing how I felt w something#and she’s like that sounds like being miserable#and I was like what?? like that is far too normal for miserable#my idea of miserable was def a lot worse#I like went and looked up miserable after bc I was so confused#I don’t think that did anything tho lol#tho like I guess to be fair def have gaslight myself in the best to think things weren’t as bad as they were lol#but like it’s 3 or 4 really stressful relationships and having a hard time w befriending women#like who doesn’t have a hard time making friends these days lol#def feeling more physically bad then emotionally bad#tho like maybe after the call I’ll feel like oh no I’m bad mean person again#but like that does tend to pass once I’m interacting w people who make me feel better#personal
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It feels super presumptuous to even write this (like the idea that people would care enough about my fics to be waiting around for updates for them), but I just wanted to say that I haven't given up on them, nor will I ever - particularly my Unraveling series. I've been dealing with a lot of health issues over the past six months (as well as getting diagnosed with ADHD at 33, which explains *a lot*), and it's made it difficult to write. These fics mean so much to me, and I never want to put anything out I'm not happy with just for the sake of content. The BG3 fandom has been so unbelievably kind to me, and it's been such a a mood-booster. Sorry for over-sharing, or anything!
#i feel super guilty and insecure about my posting schedule but also feel like that makes me so narcissistic because its a fic lol#im not looking for any sympathy or anything - im incredibly privileged to have access to healthcare and resources so many other aren't#and so many people have it so much worse than i do#i guess i just wanted people to know i havent disappeared#bg3#viela updates
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HUGE DISCLAIMER im only half way through episode 7 of the main story and rarely read events
#posting this as its own thing instead of keeping it as just a reblog#sticking blemi as one of my fave skins only for her event to be the 'worst' right under her#sorry for being a horse hater i just couldnt get over the corporatization of it all i hated it it was so annoying#skins were picked based on whats available on global but there are a couple cn skins i did like more#sorry for not being able to stick to JUST ONE but hey give it up to specialists for my faves also having the best skins#vanguard e1 portrait bc i dont have him at e2 defender e1 portrait bc she looks cooler with the armor on even if i *do* have her at e2#also woah best event triple wombo combo could you guess im a hunter fan could you believe that#'worse operator' I LIKE THEIR GAMEPLAY I LIKE THE SKILL THEYRE MAINLY KNOWN FOR i just canNOT stand their personalities#and also dont care for them design wise either it really is unfortunate theyre basically the same (fun) unit but I Do Not Like Them#also Ya is here for design and gender reasons alone i dont remember what the event or fight were like lol#personal#arknights
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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