#The younger years make me feel old | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alexhasalotofthoughts · 11 months ago

Text

Discovered today in assembly that the year group that my tutor group shares assembly with are too young to know what the ice bucket challenge is.... feeling ancient.

#Each Sixth form tutor group share assembly with a different year group #We just awkwardly sit in the back and watch an assembly that 9/10 times does not apply to us because we are anywhere from 1-5 years older #The younger years make me feel old #even the year 11s.#How am I so old?? I was 12 and now I'm 16.

6 notes · View notes

ratwithhands · 5 months ago

Text

Read Right to Left (Manga Format)

I have returned to watching demon slayer after a year and it came up while I was having a serious late night talk with my big sister. I was talking about the relationship between Michikatsu/Kokushibo and Yoriichi and it turns out we both see each other in Yoriichi's shoes and ourselves in Michikatsu's place. Definitely surprising, but really relieving to know that we both worry too much and we are not so far apart in skill as we believe.

This is technically the first piece of fanart I've ever made for the characters in Demon Slayer, I have made OCs before but I never drew an actual character from the story. For context this is mostly just a fun "what if" scenario with them meeting in the afterlife. I like to think Yoriichi's love would reawaken Michikatsu's humanity.

#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #yoriichi tsugikuni #michikatsu tsugikuni #demon slayer fanart #kimetsu fanart #kny fanart #fan comic #very much unserious note: I misread something on the wiki to my sister as Koku offing himself because he regenerated too ugly 💀#and now me and my sister have “Kokushibo moment” to denote a scenario in which we become so absolutely pathetic that we just cannot go on #Mine is if I'm still making submas content at 60 years old #Hers is me thinking she's currently having her Kokushibo moment #definitely lightened the mood and we were laughing for like 5 minutes straight #anyways Yoriichi and Michikatsu (mostly Michi) are my faves from this story because I can feel for them more than I do other characters #Also that thing in the beginning is meant to be a hitodama!! I wanted Michi to land next to Yoriichi but when I tried the shooting star ide #it did not work 💀 anyways that little wisp reforms into Kokushibo's monstrous form‚ which Yoriichi shreds apart in seconds #for the people looking for my usual submas content‚ I actually had an idea to draw them debating which twin to cosplay a few months back #Ingo said Emmet should be Yoriiichi cause he's the younger one‚ Emmet said Ingo should be Yoriichi cause he's cooler (read: better liked)#This took about 5 hours elapsed time‚ I stopped halfway through the last panel for a 6 hour nap #Also the purple just denotes which sections is close to the demonic parts‚ kinda like lighting but not quite

205 notes · View notes

dykedvonte · 2 months ago

Note

Do you have anything you've been thinking on but just haven't made a post about it yet? Also I'm really enjoying your fic!

I have a few things but it's likely mostly headcanons that I consider somewhat disconnected from my analysis.

Curly's parents had him old, only child, died shortly after he graduated and got the pony express position. It was the last big thing they saw him do which is a reason he stayed for so long.

Doesn't admit how much their death affected him

Jimmy has a largish family. One of the cases of too many kids to keep tract of, parent never really noticed any of them nor their behaviors

Anya lived in a lot of houses growing up, regular supportive family that just struggled to support themselves.

Became a nurse largely to avoid their financial struggles but mostly because she felt too many people weren't being cared for and advocated for in the world properly

Swansea likes high top sneakers most. Likes how snug they fit and how they shield his ankles at work

Curly has a bit of a caffeine problem since he can’t sleep. Can occasionally be found wandering the ship at “night” when he had some too late or just couldn’t sleep.

Daisuke knows a little about a lot of things. Starts conversations with “did you know” a lot but please don’t ask him deeper questions

Curly has known Jimmy longer but has worked with Anya and Swansea longer, met them during his middle years, met Jimmy shortly before college.

Swansea rents a house, Daisuke’s family lives in a big nice apartment, Curly has a condo, Anya live in a small one bedroom apartment and Jimmy has a studio.

Curly's home is very disconcerting. It's too normal to a like uncanny degree.

Anya is ambidextrous but prefers her left.

Anya and Curly are both not native English speakers so occasionally they forget words and bond over the mutual mocking they get from the rest of the crew. Daisuke knows some Japanese but is still learning, never picked it up as a kid

Only Swansea and Daisuke know how to drive, Earth in my mind is very post capitalist so only older people and like the extremely wealthy can afford cars.

It's also like walkable just due to how many businesses are in your face. Probably strict living vs shopping districts

I have more but the way that I headcanon about them is like too long.

#im still trying to figure out voiceclaims like I think Curly is the most generic lost his accent his accent like swedish or eastern european #guy cause he was raised by old immigrants and anya never had a thick accent but she talks with the cadence of one shes like slavic and east #asian to me. Swansea at most is like irish or italian but just an old white guy and Jimmy just has a bit of olivish skin like hes just whit #i think people should make them all weirder too like I think Anya loves showing the fucked up diagrams and pictures from premed and everyon #has to nod and act super supportive and not horrified cause Anya thats a guy with his leg broken in seven places it is not facinating to th #rest of the crew but she loves it cause fyi to go to med school you have to pass pre-med she has a BA if not a BS in nursing or bio atleast #Swansea randomly talks about shoe politics and its like hes talking about regular politics. Curly doesn't sleep walk but he pauses at weird #times or places and will just stand leave and not tell anyone anything cause even he forgot #Jimmy is himself ig and Daisuke always has some media drama they are too old for to get invested in and teach them about youth slang Anya #kinda gets it #also i think people make Curly and Jimmy way too old? Like In my mind Curly is sorta his late 20s- early 30s like he's in the settling #part of his life hence the fear about settling here anya is likel mid 20s to 30 cause she at least finished college we dont have the years #of how long shes been working and maybe Jimmy is just a bit older and feels weird envy about missing that introspection Curly is having.#Daisuke is like 19-22 in my mind like hes an adult but a kid by their standards #like Curly was recruited and its much easier to get younger people plus getting someone young is a good investment like they either got him #right after school and its like all he's known and it scares him #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #anya mouthwashing #curly mouthwashing #jimmy mouthwashing #swansea mouthwashing #daisuke mouthwashing #ask #anon

77 notes · View notes

puppyeared · 6 months ago

Text

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what #allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of #the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than #to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do #im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt #take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was #mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their #mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that #explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain #direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in #arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to #engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out #theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive #a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked #picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing #sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example #for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war #is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old #wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for #steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with #especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can #look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never #treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time #but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made #feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them #accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me #yapping #diary

99 notes · View notes

averlym · 1 year ago

Text

fairest of the fair

#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical #six the musical fanart #katherine howard #thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art #this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self #aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying #redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me #back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit #also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill #multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me #notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts #of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was #pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes #3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume #and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to #explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is #darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall #outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet #within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah #8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck #anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)

299 notes · View notes

yesloulou · 2 years ago

Text

A side by side of Max and Daniel at every age 🌱 (2005/2013 -> 2014/2022, created w/ @officialmood)

Or alternatively: what if Max and Daniel were born on the same year

#daniel ricciardo #max verstappen #maxiel #f1 #*#pics #ty liza for this awesome idea!!!!#as a creator of this post staring at this still make me feel insane bc the implications. WHAT DOES IT MEAN????#ANYWAYS. basically this came from liza @officialmood’s genius scholarship #did you know max is still a few years younger than how old daniel was when they first became teammates? 😵‍💫#daniel literally had a whole chunk of life before he met max and max was practically born the day before he met daniel #and like. how daniel is sooo younger brother coded allergic to and afraid of everything call his mom 17 times a day bc he didn't even know #how to boil an egg or if he could do laundry in thunderstorms #while max is the best big brother to victoria left his mom's side at the age of 8 cuddle her dress to go to sleep #**

469 notes · View notes

silusvesuius · 4 months ago

Text

n*loth not being able to bag anyone over the (human term) age of 25-30 at most is the only logical and real conclusion to me because it can be just explained away as him wanting to prove and control everything and anyone (Cus he's a man!) but being stuck in that demographic because his unbearable and vile personality is a force that nobody can look past once they've outgrown the possible fear and idolization period of anyone but also n*loth in particular.

#text #i think even younger ones that possess the same nasty traits can be slammed back 'In their place' (in his mind) by him just bc his -#- abilities and power alone (alt. name the factors that make him 'Cool') that dumbs them down insanely in comparison #maybe by this i mean like; ild*ri. despite the animosity she could still feel very foolish and is conscious of her wuss-ness #if that makes sense #cause no matter the disrespect anyone might have for an older capable person the reality is still reality #tbh i just think he doesn't like to sweat it much and still aims for the younger ones bc it's easier than it would be for someone that's -#- 30+ years old #and once he's proven his point he doesn't find any merit in sticking with older ones cause their interests or anything they offer -#- don't matter to or interest Him personally #i think an older demographic is just more boring to him and he would rather spend his time being metaphorically sucked off for his greats -#- by someone that already finds themselves 'lesser' than him and always will for a long time #than someone that is defiant of that fact #basically the more power imbalance the better #in his mind there will always be one unless he certainly knows someone is his equal (or better than him) but he likes the add-on of an -#- age difference too #keeps it in a safe zone with less problems for him #sorry for spitting again my brain just started machine-gunning thoughts for no reason #also i said before that he's an innocence fan. might not be a total puritan but there's something there #it's kinda like him not wanting to be with a dusty ''OLD'' person that's seen a lot anyway #i'm like barely able to hold myself back from opening my mouth to mention t*lvas where i'm making a point about n*loth's brain where he -#- isn't even needed to prove it #but like #him voicing dislike of n*loth general nauseating character and actions but still sucking up to him while n*loth can probably feel -#- that dislike anyway is cute to me i like to view it as an object being thrown into the wall over and over #where n*loth is proving his own worth to other people by drilling their brains out with proof. not that he needs to #but he would like that to be perfected a 100%#and t*lvas is capable of being molded into that state ....... probably #silusvesuisuis you didnot just confess to wanting to see t*lvas be slammed into a wall you fucked up demented beast you're sick #actually can't believe i forgot to mention this but he's literally so immature idk what he has anything in common with actual mature people

29 notes · View notes

i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 2 months ago

Text

I'm sorry I can't take your call right now, I'm becoming unhinged about Transformers again,,,

#i just. man #first of all i was super into it when i was younger. optimus prime has long been a projectable (and ratchet too‚ from tfp)#but even that's like more recent. when i was SEVEN i was running around in circles to the transformers 1980 theme and re-binging the movie #(autism? what? who? where? but fr it was like a daily thing p much where me and my brothers would just lose it to that song. good ol' days)#transformers #for the search function lol. anyways back to the ramble: the obsession started young and continued throughout my teenage years #the transformers prime version was ABSOLUTELY peak and clears every time. still SO good my brothers and i binged the heck out of that too #but i don't think we ever got to watch the movie??? or maybe it was season 3??? either way i remember being like WHAT OPTIMUS IS EVIL???#and never getting resolution which i still need to do (also reminding me of clone wars...never did finish that one and still not spoiled)#anyway yeah the nintendo 3DS transformers prime game was yet another staple of my childhood. fave main was optimus obvs #but it just fills me with joy to see the resurgence in this and also makes me feel some complex emotions because it's a part of little me #and that version of me feels like so long ago...my own orion pax in a way #11-year-old me checking out giant lore books and speeding through them (i need to find this one book!! it's been years!!#it was the first transformers tome i ever read and told the story of orion pax!! and i vaguely remember the cover? but not the title! help!)#ANYway yes just feeling a lot of feelings and. i love transformers #kay can i just catch my breath for a second #kay has a party in the tags #also if you're reading this: i voted and you should too!!!

13 notes · View notes

thebirdandhersong · 1 year ago

Text

i personally think there was no need to make remarks about age

#i dont need to feel any more ashamed about this when i shouldn't feel ashamed about this in the first place #because three years is not a HUGE difference. it IS an age gap but it isn't a GIGANTIC red flag-waving age gap.#but i guess for a guy it is if the girl is older #but anyway man it was comment after comment line after line and i felt like i was standing in front of a firing squad #not gonna lie my whole chest literally hurts when i think about it too deeply!#i have literally never been told before that i'm not an option because i'm too old #i also personally (and this is a bit bitter of me to say so maybe) i resent the fact that he did take the time to tell me that he was not #personally attracted to me. and then add at the end of the conversation that if i were younger he'd consider it #like. you literally told me you don't like me that way and aren't attracted to me that way #so the only reason you'd consider me as an option really is the fact that you know I'M interested in you ????#anyway makes me want to throw up:)#the waiting room chapter

46 notes · View notes

themintman · 1 year ago

Text

ok I just started the new detective Pikachu and I can't fucking breathe cause my stupid little transgender brain has decided Tim is trans based on his goddamn HAIR EVOLUTION

YOUR TELLING ME THIS ISNT JUST THE REF PHOTO FOR MY FIEST MASC HAIRCUT I GAVE THE HAIRDRESSER WHN I CAME OUT VS WHAT SHE GAVE ME????

55 notes · View notes

sylphwing · 9 months ago

Text

hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔

#sylph.txt #everyone likes to joke abt how much of an epic divorce man chilchuck is #but i dont think he ever even refers to her as his ex-wife. i could b wrong bc it's been a while since i read it tho #idk a lot of his arc is him learning to b more open w others (which is essentially what ended his relationship)#and u can see how much he's grown in the chapter where senshi goes into his past #to me it would b a lot sweeter for him to take on these lessons and go back to her and make things work #it's been 4 years but he's remained loyal to her depite their issues. idk to me it rlly does feel like he still loves her he's just a fool #it's made p clear that he's a coward and that he's quick to run away so actually committing to her would b a nice way to wrap things up #we don't get to see much of his wife so i get y ppl r quick to put him w the only other man in the party #but like senshi knows abt his wife too like i do not think he's gnna b making any moves here bc he has morals lmao #(*only other older man in the party. laios doesn't qualify for old man yaoi to most chilshi likers)#(even tho chilchuck isn't old either but shh they don't care abt that)#when it comes to senshi the changeling chapter def helped him w understanding how old the rest of the party is #but he clearly still views them as significantly younger than him #i don't think he views chil as a child anymore but for the majority of their time together he did #and so going from that to in a relationship is uhh rlly weird to me!#senshi has always taken a sort of parental role upon himself #w him romance is no where as interesting as the platonic bonds he has w the rest of the party #similar to how romance is entirely unimportant to izutsumi in the succubus chapter #idk i def don't hate the pairing and there r some takes on it that i find funny #but for me i just don't see anything between them i think ppl just want an m/m ship to play with #that ao3 gap is only gnna get bigger lmao

25 notes · View notes

creativity-deficient · 5 months ago

Text

Soooo what are y’all’s hcs on the Tweak family 🤔🤔🤔

#lowkey I like to hc it as a generational trauma type of thing for Mr Tweak #I feel like Richard was a LOT like Tweek when he was little #very anxious and unsure of himself #he mentions in the gnomes episode I believe that his business has been going on 30 years #and was passed down to him by his father by his father before him #growing up I think that he too was given a lot of this coffee by his father #and over the years he was conditioned and manipulated into accepting this as the norm #in hopes that he would one day take over the business #when he was finally old enough his father shared the family recipe with him and at that point he had pretty much been brainwashed #I think he sees a lot of his younger self in tweek which is why he’s so condescending towards him and so determined to steer him down the #same path. Repeating the cycle and all that #and when Tweek is old enough he plans on sharing the family’s secret as his father did with him #MRS Tweak on the other hand is an interesting one #we know so little about her but I feel like her personality also says a lot about her #she’s definitely better than Mr Tweak but she’s still very complacent and neglectful #I think what stands out to me the most about her though is the way her personality can completely switch up at times #most of the time she has this eerily calm almost docile personality #but other times she’s a LOT more attentive and caring #yk like a normal mom #COMPLETELY different from how she usually acts #but the episode that gets me the most is “Gnomes #where she actively goes against Richard’s attempt to manipulate the kids and use them for business ventures #yet this is the same mom that actively poisons her son? presumably for the business??#like it doesn’t make sense to me #I’ve seen someone suggest that Richard has been drugging her too #and BOY would that be a twist #definitely would explain the sudden shift in personality #i definitely think it would be interesting if she was in the dark about a lot of this too #not using this as an excuse as I still do think she is SOMEWHAT negligent on her own but I do think it could explain some things #south park

11 notes · View notes

seiwas · 3 months ago

Text

my friends and i gathered for a bday celebration yday and it hit me all at once that we all are truly growing up together and it made me a lil 🥺

#like we’re getting older every year!! together!!#and we’ve been through so many life phases together already #the fact that we’ll be together for even more l #it makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 but also makes me feel soooo scared #we arent old by any means but i think turning a year older will still always feel like you aren’t getting any younger #thats so redundant but its the only way i can express the feeling #idkidkidk so many thoughts #so many feelings #the fact that only so few celebrations left until we start attendinf eachothers weddings and stuff 😭#oh my god this is crazy #i talked so much again

11 notes · View notes

sskk-manifesto · 4 months ago

Text

And so the big sskk shortage begins (no sskk for the next 15 episodes) (and the sskk episode coming after kind of sucks)

#Hhhhhh this is such a good episode.#I don't have any particular strong feeling for Fukuzawa nor Ranpo but this is a very good episode.#The pacing is great the tension and ease are well distributed as much as action and exposition are.#The animation is spectacular and detailed. The drawings beautiful. The imperfect black and white is original‚ compelling and eyecatching #Truly something that shows the animators were given budget and enough time to really think it through. Please more of this #Off to more personal notes I clearly remember the moment in my dorm room I watched the bsd anime–#come back for the first time after three years and the reveal of the untold origins novel being adapted that came with it.#It's such a sweet memory. I was so so excited and happy and thinking back at it makes me :')#In love with Oda's voice please speak more baby #About voices Fukuzawa looks so younggggg and yet his voice is so deepppppppp it's a funny contrast ahah.#Fukuzawa was very pretty when he was younger.#Distributing countless papers on the floor of my childhood's house attic to order them to the point there was no space left to walk is–#something I actually used to do when I was little. That's a cute memory too. I've always liked organizing stuff lol #Seeing all the actors preparing in the backstage threw me back to my musical theater hyperfixation.#Theater backstage feels so familiar to me if only because I used to keep up with the actors' i/nstagram stories religiously pffttttt #I really like Oda.#Wish his life had a little more happiness in it. Wish Fukuzawa could have adopted him too. Wish he could have married Dazai.#Alas :///#Aight no Atsushi this episode (and no Akutagawa for a whole season God‚‚‚‚‚‚‚ ) but a lot more exciting things to come!!!!!#Oh almost forgot the op and ed songs are so good too hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #Actually I think I just might have a soft spot for everything s4 since it's the first season I witnessed as it was airing pffttt #random rambles #I probably need to find a better file to watch the season... So far I'm still using the old episodes I individually downloaded–#as the anime was dropping. Which technically are still 1080 mkv but idk I feel like the quality is not the best.#And the subtitles are suboptimal

10 notes · View notes

giddlygoat · 5 months ago

Text

my brother can make me laugh without moving at all. he can make me laugh on command, just by existing, and there is no physical tell or indication that it is about to happen. it’s like he can will me to laugh and i will. of course we’re not telepathic, but we do speak in unison sometimes. we improvise like no one’s business. we could fool anyone into believing we are psychically linked. when i try to explain it, i sound silly saying it out loud, but i really CAN tell what he’s thinking. we exchange so much information just with a look. he can make me cry laughing and he doesn’t even have to move

#i miss him so much i need him back i need him to live next to me again. i need to mooch off his wifi from my porch and invite him over #i miss him so much.#he’s only 2 minutes younger but he feels years younger. and yet i think we’re two halves of one soul #i’ve always babied him not even in a mean or diminishing way but i felt this need to protect him #because he tends to be so naive and so shy #but. i am so proud of him. i need to show him off to everyone and i need everyone to understand how funny and charming he is #it feels like i grew up and left him where he will remain 11 forever. i miss him more than moving back home can fix #i miss him in ways that have nothing to do with the distance between our locations #but. it would certainly help to be able to see him every day #i keep smelling the carpet in his room and it’s so vivid. i remember the countless hours we spent developing huge wood block cities #and we would drive hot wheels over the wooden raceways we had made. we were actually quite coordinated and autistic about it #we were always building things together #just recently me and him talked on the phone about an old mlp au we came up with. all original characters and shit #it was super extensive and very clever #i STILL think it would make a really cool book series or something #i remember watching him play army men RTS gamecube on the wii. i STILL listen to the soundtrack to that game like…. daily #i remember walking into my room once where he was watching a show. and he was crying #and he NEVER cries over tv #but he was crying because his favorite character had resigned from the organization that the series was based around #and he was so distraught that she was leaving.#i remember when all 3 of us slept in one room. i remember when me and him were in bunk beds across the room #and we would sneak out of bed right as the parents left and stayed up playing by the light of the nightlight #the way we raced back into bed when the parents were approaching 😭#my mom always says she’s sad that i seem to remember so little of my life. like every story of my youth is news to me lmao #but i feel like i remember the most important parts? i think so #i remember how mom woke me up in the night to ask me to roll over because my bro could see my face from where he was sleeping #and he was scared because there was a weird shadow cast on my face that made it look like a skull which was making it hard for him to sleep #it was. so funny. i begrudgingly rolled over #i don’t know. it’s just that there isn’t a single instance i bring up that my brother does not also remember.#no matter how tiny or specific. we shared everything growing up

13 notes · View notes

pezpenser205 · 1 month ago

Text

the main reason i know im not femme in the slightest is bc i cant comprehend why anyone would Ever want to be feminine. i can understand neutral leaning fem, but the idea that people are born wanting to be feminine is appalling to me personally because femininity always felt like imprisonment and torture. it was and still is a restraint. a training weight i was forced to bear. i cant fully empathize or understand anyone who wants to be more feminine because i have never and will never want to be more feminine out of anything other than pressure or insecurity. im most comfortable being gender neutral, hairy and disgusting in old gym shorts and stained tshirts no matter how much insecurity it causes me. i dont care. im never dressing up all pretty for anyone elses benefit ever again. and i assume this is how people who want to be feminine feel about masculinity to some extent. if thats the case im super glad we could trade because holy moly

#op #doing sex work has also solidified this boundary for me btw #youd be surprised how many people love forcing specifically butch people into feminine clothes and get off on it #like specifically search for young or inexperienced butches and/or ftms #without actually explaining to them what they want to put them through in full detail beforehand or are very vague #but theyre holding money you dont have as an unemployed person over your head so its kind of hard to say no #these experiences have shown me dykebreaking style kinks are actually really popular even in queer communities #this brand of ppl just kind of do it then after the fact call it forcefem or detrans kink and call it a day without communicating beforehan #i think its really shit because now i have a bad taste in my mouth about that kind of stuff #but just bc i had bad experiences doesnt mean everyone will #thats like saying we shouldnt let people transition bc 1% of people detransition or something #i got manipulated by bad people and thats not anyones fault other than those peoples' for being awful people #so if youre wondering why i trigger tag forcefem jokes and stuff. that is why.#with how common it is id rather trigger tag it for someone whos far more sensitive about the subject than i and doesnt wanna see Any of it #i tried being feminine. hated it. 0/10. will never again unless i feel like it inexplicably some day.#the most feminine ill get is wearing bright colors and having shoulder length hair or wearing pink accents in my outfits i guess #or maybe when the thought of wearing them doesnt make me feel sick anymore ill wear pleated skirts again #all these unrelated tags to say #please communicate with your partners especially younger ones. just bc theyre over 18 doesnt mean they arent young and kid like.#brains dont stop developing until around mid 20s and if you as a 30-40 something year old arent communicating properly thats messed up #and just be careful out there #practice ethical/safe kink please and ty ily <3 #qtag

3 notes · View notes