#The doodle + the text just took less than 2 minutes

[worldyea]

bedman phone doodle ✌️

[athforskz]

Third Times the Charm - Lee Minho

Masterlist

type: strangers to lovers, college au, slow burn

pairing: tutor!Minho x afab!reader

wc: ~4.7k + 4 text ss

warnings: unbalanced power dynamic, themes of coercion, strong language, mention of failing academia, use of pet names, crying, dacryphilia, light touching, suggestive, reader is kinda tsundere, Minho is lowkey down bad for reader. MDNI.

a/n: there might be a part 2 for this one.

Enjoy lovelies!

“Alright, attempt number three. Here goes nothing,” you sighed heavily while taking your seat in the overcrowded lecture hall. This was your fourth semester in University and out of those four semesters, three of them were spent in your personal hell hole: organic chemistry. The first time you took this class, you had failed it, plain and simple. The second time you took it, your grade was passing, but barely. Definitely not enough to be accredited for the degree you wanted. Thus, you were back in the damned class once again to at least get a grade that wouldn’t tank your GPA. If you didn’t, then you could kiss that shiny degree goodbye.

The class was mainly filled by first or second semester students. They still looked young and ambitious. There were only a few students that were from your semester, and those that looked older were more than likely teaching assistants. While observing your peers, the professor waltzed in; the loud slam of her bag echoed throughout the lecture hall, effectively quieting the students.

“Okay everyone, time to settle down!” The professor’s voice was loud, authoritative even as she surveyed her new brood of students with sharp eyes. Yes, you’ve taken this class twice before, but never have you seen her teach it. Maybe she was new to the university? Most of the class was filled with going over housekeeping topics, such as the syllabus, laboratory requirements, and expectations for the upcoming semester. You tuned most of it out with having been through this same song and dance numerous times before for all classes. You huffed with your chin resting in the palm of your hand as you doodled mindlessly in your notebook, maybe decorating it would motivate you to study more.

You looked at the time on your phone and saw that it was about 10 minutes before the end of the lecture. You started packing your notebook and pen away just as your professor exclaimed something that caught your attention, “And please don’t forget to use your teaching assistants to your advantage. They are here to help you! Seek them out when you have questions or need someone to study with. I’m sure the TA’s will have no issue in aiding you on your journey through this course. Matter of fact, they will come up to introduce themselves to everyone!”

The few teaching assistants or ‘TA’s’ as your professor dubbed them seemed to look a little frazzled, well all except for one. He didn’t look like he was paying attention at all. One by one each assistant introduced themselves to the class. A couple of them were nervous, rightfully so, it takes a lot of guts to speak in front of a mini auditorium full of students. “Good morning, all! My name is Yeji; I am a graduate student here at the University. Chemistry is my passion, and I will be more than happy to help anyone that needs it. Please, let’s all have a good semester and finish strong!” The woman seemed so happy. You made a mental note to approach the bubbly one that deemed herself, Yeji, so you could make a study group with her. She spoke about the subject with ease and had such a warm confident aura about her. Yeah, she’d definitely be the key you needed to ace the course this time.

The last guy to go was the one that looked less than thrilled to be here, he stalked up to the podium before letting out a loud sigh. “I’m Minho, please hesitat- er.. don’t hesitate to reach out with any problems you may have.” He smirked at the end of his very brief introduction, if you could even call it that.

Was that supposed to be funny?

Even with that horrible introduction you couldn’t deny the man was attractive. Eventually, the end of the class came, and you quickly picked up your bag before the rush of other dismissing students carelessly kicked your things aside. You made your way down to the front of the lecture hall to hopefully introduce yourself to Yeji. It’d be better to formulate a study schedule with her now rather than later. You tried to push through the crowd that didn’t seem to be moving only to find out that the remaining crowd was packed around the TA you needed to speak with. It seemed as if you weren’t the only one that was drawn to her vibrant personality. You had a bit before you needed to get to your next class, so you decided to wait for the crowd to filter out.

Another 15 minutes pass and you can finally get the attention of your desired TA. “Hey! Yeji, right?” She nodded with a bright smile, “my name is Y/n, it’s nice to meet you! When do you think we could meet up for regular steady sessions? I’m free most days after 5pm.” You were being sweet and straight to the point, not wanting to waste time. Her face fell, “Oh, I’m so sorry. All of my sessions have filled up so quickly and I’m not able to offer one-on-ones with my schedule. Maybe one of the other assistants can help you.” She was still so polite, even when letting you down gently. You shook your head with a forced smile that didn’t quite meet your eyes. “It’s okay! I’m sure I can find help with another. Thank you though.” Yeji offered a half bow before making her way out of the classroom. The other two teaching assistants were long gone by now and they probably didn’t have room nor time to individually help you either. “Fuck… now what am I gonna do?” You whined while smacking your forehead.

“I can help you.”

You whipped your head around to the mysterious voice coming from behind you. It was the last TA that introduced himself. You’d already forgotten his name, and that he was even an option for that matter. “No that’s okay. I don’t want to inconvenience you or anything,” you tried to convince him. He took a few steps closer, even the way he walked was nonchalant, then he looked at you up and down slowly with his eyes as if analyzing you. His gaze was making you feel hot, but you couldn’t let him know that his stare was causing something to stir within you. “Seriously, it’s not an inconvenience. To be honest, I probably have the most free time out of all the others.”

Gee, wonder why that is? Maybe because you don’t take things seriously.

“So..?” He further inquired, waiting for your final answer. You raised a brow as if actually debating. “How about we just exchange numbers, and you can reach out if you change your mind,” he pulled his phone out from his hoodie pocket then handed it to you. “Isn’t it more formal to exchange university emails?” You asked while taking the phone from his hand to enter your number. He shrugged with the ghost of a smile on his face, “possibly, but looks like you don’t mind.”

A snort left your nose after you sent a quick text to your phone so his number could be saved in the contact list. After returning his phone you waved him off without another word. Even if he was your type physically, you didn’t really see yourself ever messaging him for help. You only allowed the exchange to happen to avoid coming off as rude. Plus, you didn’t have any other excuse to blow off his gesture.

Another couple of days pass with nothing too eventful happening. The normal hullabaloo at the start of a new schedule not really affecting you anymore since it was the fourth go-round. However, today was the day the chem course had its laboratory portion. The labs weren’t as big as the lecture hall, the entire class was divided into three smaller groups. Along with doing experiments instead of taking notes, the professor was not in charge of the labs, the assistants were.

You had hoped Yeji would be the assistant for your particular lab. Upon strolling into the laboratory, your eyes were blessed with the sight of the vibrant woman. She waved at you with a smile before going to help another student. You watched her with bright eyes while lost in thought:

This will make things so much more bearable! Maybe I’ll even have the chance to ask her a few questions abou- Oh no… you can’t be serious.

Your lips turned down when you caught sight of his handsome features. The other TA that seemed to not take things seriously. He hadn’t seen you yet as he was busy drawing a rather odd face on the chalkboard. Once he finished his little doodle he labeled it ‘jerumi’ prior to nodding his head in satisfaction as if he were proud of his work.

You sighed with an eye roll before heading to your assigned workstation. You familiarize yourself with the equipment and introduce yourself to your lab partner. As you’re exchanging contact info for future project collaborations, you felt a presence looming over your shoulder. A yelp left your mouth, startled, as the man standing behind you looked down at the device in your hands. It was him, of course it was. You placed your phone down on the workbench to avoid your shaky hands from dropping it.

“Do you mind?” You took a step forward to put some distance between your bodies (even though you liked the brief closeness). “Just making sure you aren’t getting off topic. By the way, you haven’t asked me for help yet. We should probably talk about schedules, ya know?”

What in the world is he talking about?

The expression on your face let him know that you had no idea what he was referring to, “remember I’m supposed to be helping you study? I’ve been waiting on you to text me.” That’s right! You made it seem like you accepted his offer in him giving you study sessions. “Right, right! Totally forgot, so sorry about that. The start of a new semester just has me a little frazzled,” you recovered quickly and even punctuated the situation with a fake laugh. You were hoping by not reaching out he would get the hint and leave you be. Obviously, that wasn’t the case and now there’s no hope in just avoiding him since he’s one of the lab assistants. “How about we talk about this later? I’ll definitely remember to shoot ya a message,” you lied. You wouldn’t remember, or rather you flat out wouldn’t do it even if you did remember.

All he did was raise a brow. You chewed the inside of your cheeks, hoping he’d buy the suggestion. The man retrieved his own phone from a pants pocket and did something on the device. Soon your own cell vibrated where it was set. The ever inquisitive (and nosey) man peered at the lit screen, “you don’t even have my number saved.” You quickly snatched your phone and shoved it in your back pocket. “Uh I- I was just trying to think of a good way to save your contact!” you fibbed sheepishly. “Just save it as my name, simple.” He shrugged like his name was the best thing to ever grace a person’s ears which means you should remember, right?

“Riiiight…” you swallowed thickly, praying to whatever higher power that he didn’t ask if yo-

“You don’t remember my name, do you?”

Fuck!

“Of course I remember!” You said a little louder than you intended, now classmates were looking your way, even Yeji peaked over to make sure everything was fine. Your hands covered your cheeks trying to cool yourself down from embarrassment. “Then what’s my name? Go on, say it.” He had a smirk on his lips and a devilish glint in his eye. 

Was he teasing? And why does he look so damn good like that?

You kept your mouth shut and avoided his gaze. Moments of silence passed before you heard him scoff, “Figures you don’t remember. It’s Minho. But my friends call me Lee Know if that’s easier for you.” He spoke so fast that you didn’t quite catch what he said. “Lionel?” You repeated.

“No, Lee Know,” he said slower this time. If you weren’t still reeling from the prior embarrassment, you’d think this ‘Lee Know’ is making fun of you. You simply nodded your head to acknowledge you got his name memorized… you think.

Thoroughly satisfied with having checked on you, he went to the next pair of students to annoy help them. You breathed a sigh of relief that he finally left, and you carried on with your lab partner for the remainder of the period.

About a month has passed and the semester is in full swing. Everything had been going great in all classes, even chemistry. You hadn’t needed much help as it was just the basics and because you flat out refused to ask Lee Know for help anyway. You’ve even successfully avoided all of his attempts so far to talk to you after class or in lab. Part of it was because he was actually helping other students (when he wasn’t acting standoffish, nonchalant, or sarcastic). The other part had just been pure luck, or bad luck since you couldn’t stare at his cute face.

However, you didn’t catch how he was aware of your avoidance. Minho could tell in your body language that you rather not associate with him, but he couldn’t figure out why. Why were you so stubborn in accepting his help? Had he done or said something wrong? Couldn’t be that; he’s barely had a real conversation with you. Or maybe you picked up on how he looks at you or how his eyes go soft once he hears your voice. Minho’s heart rate would even increase whenever he got near you, albeit he hasn’t come close to you often, but that’s not the point. He was utterly infatuated at first sight and had to get close to you in some way and those study sessions were his best bet.

You had just made it back to your dorm when a ding echoed from your pocket. The already slumping bag fell off your shoulder and you kicked your shoes off without a care. Thankfully, you didn’t need to worry about being super organized because you got a dorm all to yourself this year. Your hand reached in to pull out your phone to see who had messaged you. Probably just a friend asking if you wanted to grab food later, but no, it wasn’t a friend. It was Minho.

A sigh fell from your lips as you read yet another message from the man. Damn was he persistent. He would occasionally send a message to see if you needed help, but you would always ignore it. You had never messaged him except for the one simple ‘hi’ when exchanging numbers.

Seriously, what’s it going to take for him to catch a hint?

Maybe, just maybe if you respond to him this time and say you don’t need a tutor then he’ll leave you be. The more direct approach oughtta do it.

Well, that’s definitely not what you were expecting. Now you had a so called ‘study date’ with him Friday evening. 

Was he being flirty or just overly friendly?

You could think of a million other things to do rather than spend your Friday night studying the subject that’s the bane of your existence with your way too persistent TA. Then again, maybe being locked in a room with him wasn’t a bad idea.

The end of the week came faster than expected, which was both a blessing and a curse. Yes, you were ready to be free from school for the weekend, but before that you had to make it through this study session with Minho.

It shouldn’t take long. I’ll just go in there and show him I know what I’m doing, then boom! Home free. What could possibly go wrong?

You made your way to the underground study rooms that were agreed upon as the meetup point. There was only one room marked as reserved, the rest of them open on account of it being Friday and other students having more fun things to do with the weekend at hand. You took a deep breath before pushing open the door. There sat Minho, his soft hair pushed back out of his face as he organized a few things on the wide tabletop. His focus making him effortlessly attractive. You looked up at the whiteboard on the wall to see a slew of organic chemistry reactions that seemed unfinished. Is this what he wanted you to do today?

Minho looked up from his spot and greeted you with a toothy grin, “Y/n, you actually came!”

Why was he so happy? Did he take his position as teaching assistant seriously for once? He’s so much cuter when he smiles.

“Yeah, wouldn’t miss it for the world..” you trailed off with sarcasm in your tone. You sat opposite him at the table, slinging your backpack onto the ground and taking out your notes. Minho got up from his seat and made his way around to you. You didn’t pay attention to him at first as you were focused on finding a certain section in your notes. Right as you found the page you needed, Minho slammed his hand on the notebook and closed it. “Hey! Why’d you do that?!”

“You said you already knew everything that would be on the exam. So, you shouldn’t need this right?” He waved the journal just above your reach then tossed it to the other side of the table. “Show me what you can do. Finish and balance the reactions on the board,” he nodded towards the dry erase board at the front of the room with a smug look. Great, now his teasing is carrying over from those messages the other night. On top of that, his devious looks aren’t helping to quell the erratic thump in your chest. You stood to your feet while shooting him a glare and stomped over to the board then picked up a purple marker. The marker thumped against your palm as you were looking at the problem on the board trying to figure out the answer.

After a few minutes of thinking you hastily scribbled out your answer. Once finished you turned around with a confident ‘hmph’ as if to challenge him to tell you that you were- “Wrong,” he blurted out while standing from his spot at the edge of the table. Your jaw dropped. “No its not! That’s one of the easiest reactions to do in chemistry. There’s no way I got it wrong.” You protested as he walked over and plucked the marker right from your fingers. You continued to berate him as he ‘corrected’ your answer.

“You’re right ab-“ he started.

“Yeah, I know I’m right and you just messed it up!” You interrupted but he let you finish before he pushed his face dangerously close to yours. You’d have backed up if the table wasn’t already pressed into your lower back.

Minho’s voice was low when he spoke, “As I was saying, you’re right about it being an easy reaction to solve, but you still balanced it wrong. We’ve got some work to do if you can’t even figure this one out y/nnie.” He gently patted your cheek then made his way back to flip through your notebook. To say your head was spinning was an understatement. You weren’t even sure what emotions you were feeling right now. Anger? Embarrassment? Confusion? And maybe turned on?

No, there’s no way he just spoke to me like that! He’s acting all condescending. And what was that tone for anyway? Plus the nickname?? He’s just trying to rile me up..

You shook your head of any other thoughts and emotions before he caught a glimpse of your flustered state. You were now hellbent on proving this man wrong, that you did in fact know how to do easy reaction equations.

“Do you always space out with a scowl on your face?” You hadn’t even noticed he was staring at you when he asked the question. “Only when the mood calls for it,” you answered plainly.

“The mood?” Now his brow was raised. “Yeah, like when someone tells me I’m wrong when I’m not.”

He sighed with a shake of his head, “You aren’t going to learn anything if you’re just going to back talk me the entire time.”

“Well I wouldn’t back talk if you’d explain your reasoning on why my answer was incorrect. Oh, that’s right, you can’t because my answer wasn’t wrong in the first place!” Now you were the one being condescending.

Minho’s eyes narrowed at you. “Maybe if you would shut up and listen, I can tell you what’s wrong so you can actually pass the class for once.”

Ouch, that struck a nerve.

Your demeanor instantly weakened as he stood there and read you to filth. Minho could tell he went too far, and his eyes softened as your gaze averted to a blank corner of the room. “Look I’m really just trying to help you,” he pleaded.

“Then help me, Lee Know.” You sniffled with the faintest of watery eyes. Were you crying? Goodness, Minho sure hopes so. He has a thing when someone cries for him. Minho thinks you look so pretty on the verge of tears, it made him wonder what else you’d look pretty edging, but he shouldn’t focus on that right now. You wiped your eyes with the edge of your sleeve before a tear could fall. Trying to muster up the strength to continue on with this hell of a study session.

After emotions had calmed down, he came closer and showed you how to do the basics correctly. Minho explained that you had been taking notes improperly which made simple things more complicated. Your eyes widened at the realization of how much easier everything became after that.

Maybe he’s not so bad after all.

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, Minho’s study session actually helped you. You passed the exam the next week with flying colors. Now that you and he know you’re benefiting from the one on one time, Minho had suggested another session after the next lecture as the topics covered would be more difficult. You wanted to make sure you got things right the first time, so you agreed to meet with him again. Plus spending more time with an attractive guy that is secretly your type was a bonus.

Minho managed to book a different study room this time off-campus. You had heard of the place in passing from a friend but never thought to check it out. When you got there it was more of a lounge type of vibe but you appreciated the change of scenery. Staying on university grounds all the time could make you a bit stir crazy. You made your way towards the back of the building to see your personal tutor already hard at work in one of the study rooms. Your fist made light contact with the doorframe to let him know you arrived. 

“Ah, y/nnie come in. Close the door.” He got up to greet you with a hug. 

Touching? That's new.

You were caught off guard by his warm gesture but gave him a hug back, your body heating in the process. It was the least you could do since he’s helped so much. You decided to not put much thought into it as you got down to brass tacks. You sat on the couch in front of a coffee table since the desk in the room would be too small for collaboration.

Minho would walk you through each new topic to make sure you had a good understanding of it. All the while he sat dangerously close to you on the couch, his leg brushing against yours. Each time you made a mistake on a structure he’d take your hand and guide you on how to draw it the correct way. At first you really hadn’t noticed, but what tipped you off is when you caught him staring at you instead of the work. Then you started taking note of his lingering touches on your hand or his breath ticking your shoulder. All of this touching was making your body buzz.

Now, Minho was touching your back feening it as just an encouraging gesture but his hand position was low and his fingers danced along your spine. You never told him to stop because you weren’t exactly uncomfortable, but it was making you breathe heavier and lose focus.

Damn, he smells so good.. and that sultry voice he’s using is gonna make me melt.

 A hiss from the man brought you out of your fuzzy thoughts and snap your head towards him instead of the paper in front of you. “Watch where you put that hydrogen molecule, kitty. Can’t have you making dumb mistakes.” 

Did he just say kitty?

“Hey, I’m not dumb!” You retorted but there was no bite in your tone. You ignored the nickname, thinking it was just a slip of the tongue. He chuckled at your furrowed expression, “that’s not what I meant.” 

Minho’s hand came to squeeze your knee then proceeded to rub along your thigh. 

Seriously, when did this man get so touchy? 

The remainder of the study session went on without any major mess ups from you. The only time you did make a mistake was when Minho got bold with his touching. You never told him you didn’t like it though, his hands were warm and who were you to tell him no if it didn’t hurt anything. 

Eventually studying with Minho became a twice weekly regular thing and so did his touching. He remained respectful with the placement of his hands… until today. 

You were sat in your dorm room with Minho as all the study rooms were taken on campus and the place off campus was booked too. Guess everyone needed to lock in with midterm exams around the corner. 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get this oxidation method down. It’s so complicated for no reason,” you groaned while throwing your head back. “You just need to remember the steps, y/n. It isn’t too bad.” He laughed at your dramatics. 

“And how in the world am I going to remember it so easily?” 

“Easy. Muscle memory.” He said with almost no inflection. You turned to look at him as if he had three heads. “Lee Know, what the hell are you talking about? In case you forgot this isn’t your dance class we’re studying here. I can’t just pop and lock an oxidation reaction into my body.” 

“Sure you can, but it won’t exactly involve dancing.” Now he looked as smug as the Cheshire cat. You were still beyond confused and motioned for him to elaborate, “Ya know I can get you to remember anything by just making you feel good.” Minho’s voice lowered as he leveled himself to your face. “All you have to do is let me touch you. Whaddya say, kitten?” 

When did he get so close? 

He was so close that you could feel his breath fanning across your neck. Your brain was fuzzy and still swimming with questions, but your body was already having such a reaction to him. You shouldn’t say yes, but saying no isn’t an option either. You needed to do well in this class, you simply didn’t have any other choice. 

Without further thought you nodded your head in agreement, “Yes..” Your voice came out shakier, more breathy than intended. 

“Yes what? Say it.” He demanded with a stern tone, his hand coming up to hover over your cheek, not yet touching it until he gets an answer.

“You can touch me.” You whispered while leaning into his palm. Your response caused Minho to lean his head back with his eyes shut, a satisfied groan leaving his throat. “Good, now let’s get to work. You’ve got a lot of memorizing to do and I intend on burning it into every inch of your skin.” He placed his hands on your thighs giving them a hard squeeze while spreading them apart. Your skin already felt like it was on fire, but little did you know this was just the beginning.

You had no idea what kind of power you’ve just given to this man but he was definitely intent on showing you. 

Surely it couldn’t be that bad, right?

Special thanks to my honey @doitforbangchan for being my beta reader <3

Taglist: @doitforbangchan @jehhskz @laylasbunbunny

[irradiatedsnakes]

[ID: two collaborative digital canvases on which every practically possible space is filled by drawings- including mechanisms and magnus archives catboys, many drawings of gerry keay as a bat, furries of all sorts, along with numerous other drawings and doodles of many sorts. (for a full ID, check below the cut). end ID.]

HERE THEY ARE!! this was SO much fun i can’t wait to do this again. thank you SO much to everybody who came and drew! also very nice that it took maybe a minute and a half to two minutes before the catboys started. i definitely recommend, especially for the first one, viewing the full image and taking a couple minutes scrolling through everything.

i don’t know the urls of everyone who came and participated, so if you did and you don’t see yours here, reply and let me know! artists included: @fox-guardian @alientoastt @transmikecrew @lesbianlotl @demonicxiconic @weredragon @onedragontorulethemall @topazastral

massive image ID below the cut.

Canvas 1: almost every single space on this canvas is chocked to the brim with doodles. some are just sketches, some are colored to various degrees. starting from the top left: the label “nyarchivist” among multiple people’s drawings of jon sims as a catboy, all in green. in the very top left, he is more an actual cat with glasses and hair than a catboy. below him is a catboy jon who looks confused to be here, with a “:D” face by his head. to his right is a much smaller catboy jon labeled “he”. below and to the left is a catboy jon looking deviously to the right. where he is looking is a drawing of drumbot brian as an anthro horse, with eboy style makeup and piercings, he is looking confused back at the catboy jon. between the two of them is a sign with “gay rights” written on it, and a drawing of a cat labeled “the admiral”. below them are another set of doodles: there is a very, very small benry shaped like a little blob with the text “so small.... no room” with a sad face. below him is a drawing of marius von raum with vampire fangs, sticking his tongue out, labeled “he’s baby”. below him is a very small drawing of jonny d’ville, labeled “manlet”. below him is a small doodle of a one-eyed minion with incredibly buff arms. to the right of these three is a larger drawing of jonny d’ville as a catboy, looking deviously up at one of the catboy jons. he is holding a gun in one hand, from which a flag reading “bang!” is coming from the tip. he is labeled “he’s a catnnibal”. below these are two drawings of martin and jon. to their right is a small drawing of danny stoker, labeled “danny stonks”. to his right is a doodle of raphaella la cognizi with an octokitten on her shoulder, holding up a finger and smiling, saying “the experiment was a success! catboys are real now”. to her right is a colored drawing of marous von raum as a catboy, labeled with hearts and “this dude is trans and there’s nothing you can do about it”, with a small trans flag doodled beside. below him is a drawing of raphaella with a golden crown. to her right are two different artists’ martins, waving to one another and saying “hi!”. the one on the right is labeled “tiny”. above them, near catboy marius’ trans flag, are two shrimps. above is a drawing of tim stoker, with a wario mustache drawn onto his face. above him is a doodle of waluigi and wario, labeled “stoker bros”. to their left is a purple octokitten with yellow eyes. above it is a doodle of gerry keay, labeled “gerry :)”. above him is a drawing of an anthro calico cat, wearing a red hoodie and holding a tablet pen. to their left is a drawing of an anthro axolotl, smiling. to the right of these is a very large and very detailed drawing of gerry keay as an anthro vampire bat. he is wearing a “the ocean” band t-shirt and a leather jacket with various pins on it. he is holding up a lighter with an eye symbol with one of his wings, and is labeled “accidentally sets his patagium on fire bi-annually, probably” and “this fucks”. to the right is a doodle of gerry keay as a catboy, labeled “nyarson”. above him is a drawing of fire, labeled “arson.” below this is a doodle of gerry keay as an ghostly anthro bat, with “ghost stuff” labeled next to him. to the left is a green octokitten with purple eyes. below it is another drawing of gerry keay as an anthro bat, with a neutral expression. left is the final gerry keay as an anthro bat. he looks happy and is waving with one wing. there is a small drawing of sollux captor next to his wing. below is a tiny drawing of jon sims being comically, extremely buff. to the right is a small drawing of sasha james wearing a nonbinary flag skirt, labeled “compressed sasha”. to the right is another very small sasha, labeled “small your sash”. throughout the whole canvas are little aqua stars. end ID for canvas 1.

canvas 2: this canvas is much less densely packed, and is comprised of mostly more finished drawings and less sketches. starting from the top left is a doodle of catboy elias’ head, looking smug. below him is a drawing of a character with blonde hair and blue scelera in their eyes. below is a drawing of nastya rasputina, who has a neutral smile on her face. to the right is a colored drawing of a dragon’s head. it is aqua with purple eyes, a pink blush, and blue shading. next to it is a doodle of jon sims, as well as of a small blue planet with green rings. below is a drawing of danny stoker smiling and doing a finger gun, labeled “danny banany” for his yellow shirt. to the right is a doodle of a mushroom person with a yellow and blue cap and a spear, labeled “pax” with a heart. below is a drawing of gerry keay as an anthro bat, with a small smile. he is holding one wing out, showing the way his leather jacket connects between the membrane of his wing. to the right is a doodle of gerry keay, with a neutral expression. beside him are three doodles of an anthro cat- one looks distressed, one looks happy and is blushing, and the third says “i know none of these characters i just like furries and skulls”. beside is a drawing of another anthro cat, and a doodle of a very small octokitten labeled “yall like these right” to which someone has replied “yeah :D”.  to the right is a small doodle of raphaella la cognizi, with a devious kitty face. to the far right is a drawing of nastya rasputina, holding a wrench and smiling. above her is a catgirl nastya, drawn in monochrome pink. she is smiling. above in the same color is a catperson toy soldier, also smiling, labeled “luv them”, a smiley face, and “it” with a heart. to the very top right is a spotted octokitten. down and to the left is a catboy michael distortion. he is smiling with spiral blushes on his cheeks, labeled “@demonicxiconic”. to the left of him is a drawing of a raccoon looking behind it with a golden halo above its head. there is a trans flag doodled between them. above is a colored drawing of gunpowder tim as an anthro coyote. finally, to the left of this, is a full-body drawing of catboy gunpowder tim. he is sitting with a neutral expression, looking upwards. there is a though bubble coming from him, that reads “gay thots”. end ID.

[imissjoongsmullet]

Something Better (1/2)

Pairing: Bang Chan x reader

Genre: fluff/angst (will lead to smut eventually because hi hello it’s me writing about Chan)

Summary: You and Chan have been best friends since before you can remember but now that you’re in college, things start to feel strange, especially with the way he acts when it comes to your boyfriend.

Read part 2

Warnings: part 1 of 2 (probably), cutesy friendship stuff, lots of stupid banter, bit of suggestive conversations, a good dash of angst, Changbin as your boyfriend (do you need a warning for that lol), oh and though this one is pretty clean, there will be smut in later chapters.

Word Count: 2k

Author’s Note: Ok so I’m going to try to keep this to 2 chapters but I can’t promise anything. Anyone who follows me knows I tend to get carried away it’s a thing... Also, yes, this is such a cliché trope but BOY DO I LOVE IT! Thanks again for the request. I had a great time writing this!

► 

Five minutes to four. Almost there. The old man at the front of the auditorium had been droning on about the history of bleebidiblah wherever for the past two hours and you were very much ready for it all to end and for the weekend to begin. You heard a pencil drop beside you and turned to see your friend pick it back up and place it between his upper lip and nose.

“Looking great,” you whispered, fighting back a smile.

“I know,” he snickered, making the thing drop into his lap for the dozenth time that class.

Chan was kind of an idiot. But he was also kind of your best friend. You’d grown up in the same neighborhood and had been inseparable since kindergarten. He was the first person you’d went to when you’d found out Santa wasn’t real, the first person you’d ever sneaked out of the house to go to a party with and the first person you’d ever gotten blackout drunk with; not to mention he was the only one who knew about your irrational fear of oven toasters. He knew everything about you and you knew everything about him. You were a team, tied together so much so, that you’d even decided to follow each other to the same college.

“Hey,” he nudged your shoulder, “how about we go downtown tonight and celebrate the weekend? I heard it’s prolonged happy hour at GB’s.”

The twinkle in his eyes made you want to say yes; it was a very tempting offer. “Can’t,” you replied eventually, scrunching up your nose at him.

“Come on, why not?” said Chan, leaning in and shaking your thigh, “we can go to karaoke after and you can crash at my place. I bought so many Doritos and they’re not gonna eat themselves.”

You bit your lip. “I kind of promised Changbin I’d go over tonight.” You already knew what was coming.

“Again?” he exclaimed a bit too loudly, drawing the attention of some of the other students, “you stayed over like three times this week already.” He sagged in his chair, rolling his eyes at you.

“Don’t be a child,” you retorted shoving him lightly.

That put some of his smile back in place. “You know, I think this Changbin guy isn’t the one for you,” said Chan, pretending to look pensive, “he’s got shifty looking eyes… and his nose is too big.”

You couldn’t keep from chuckling. Dipping down in your chair out of sight of your teacher, you turned to your friend. “You’re so full of shit, what does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged, “maybe he’s having evil, shifty, big-nosed plans and you don’t even know it.”

“Your nose is big too, you know?” you said, pinching his nose.

He slapped your hand away and pinched you back, which made you cry out so loud the teacher went silent, eyes in your direction. Your cheeks flushed hot but just as you were about to apologize to the entire auditorium, the bell rang, pushing everyone around you into motion.

“Oops,” said Chan, eyes full of mischief as he rose from his chair along with everyone else.

You packed your things and followed him, kicking at his heels pettily.

“Seriously though, all the staying over,” Chan went on once you were out in the packed hallway, “sure he isn’t tiring you out?” The wicked grin on his face told you exactly what he meant.

“Chan, I swear if you don’t shut up,” you started but he interrupted fast.

“I just mean, you’re a studious girl,” he explained, grabbing your shoulders and rubbing them, “you can’t have a shifty-eyed boy like him distract you from your super important studies with sexy times.”

“And you taking me out to GB’s is helping me with my studies how exactly?”

“At least I’m not trying to put my dick in you every single night.”

“Chan!” you yelled out, looking around frantically at all the other students within earshot of your conversation.

“Aww,” Chan chuckled, hugging you closer, putting his lips near your ear, “you’re so cute when you’re all flustered.”

You were extremely happy he was behind you and couldn’t see the look on your face because you were even redder than before, staring eyes-wide into space. For as close and you and Chan were, you couldn’t help but feel shy whenever he mentioned sexual stuff around you. Not that you weren’t a sexual person; you just didn’t really know how to act around him when it came to those things. It didn’t help that you felt him all over you now, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand right up.

“Listen,” you said, shrugging out of his grip and trying to compose yourself, “how about we hang out tomorrow night? I’m sure the drinks will be just as toxic and delicious then.”

He came up next to you. “Fine, but you’re buying,” he said, “you’ve been leaving me lonely far too much. I demand compensation.”

You smiled and shook your head. “Fine.”

[I’ll be there in 10]

You hurriedly typed as you left Changbin’s place. You were meeting Chan for coffee. You were supposed to work on an assignment together that afternoon but you felt more than a little distracted after the previous night hadn’t ended up as fun as you’d hoped. You didn’t even really remember how it had started but you and Changbin had gotten into an argument that had lasted for most of the night. It wasn’t anything heartbreaking; it was just frustrating that your relationship wasn’t going the way you’d imagined it. And now you’d have to face Chan and pretend everything was okay because you were far too prideful to give him the satisfaction of saying ‘I told you so’.

He was waiting at your typical spot in the back of the café, his notebook ready on the table. You were happily surprised to find him jotting things down as you walked up. When you sat down, however, you realized he’d just been doodling obscenities in the margins of his book.

“Good afternoon,” you said, closing his book and grabbing the coffee he’d ordered for you.

You felt his eyes on you as you sipped the burning hot drink. You were just waiting for it at this point.

“So,” he started, amusement dripping down his face, “how was last night?”

“Shut up,” you countered, opening up your own book and looking anywhere but at him.

You and Chan were used to working together. Chan always had problems focusing and you were always there to give him the kick in the ass he needed to get the work done. On the other hand, Chan was the one coming up with the most creative ideas for your projects so, despite your differences, you worked quite well off of each other. 

For a while, things were fine: Chan was on his second coffee and the ideas flowed generously; you just had to write them down and turn them into usable content. Things were nice and light as they should be. You took a break and ordered waffles, enjoying them without any mention of Changbin; it was great. You talked about concerts you were excited to go to together in the coming months, showed each other movie trailers of stuff you really wanted to watch together and you laughed at the absolute dumbest things. You thought perhaps it was the caffeine that was making you both so silly.

Unfortunately, after that initial boost of energy, came the inevitable crash.

By the time Chan was picking at the ice at the bottom of his empty third coffee, things were started to shift. You were trying to finish up the assignment but it was clear Chan was starting to get burnt out. Gradually, conversation trickled away from the project at hand and into less productive territory.

“What is it you like about him?” he asked, staring zombie-like into his cup.

“Not now, Chan,” you sighed, eyes on your laptop screen. You felt his fingers at your side, poking lazily.

“No, come on,” he said, voice sleepy, “I wanna know.”

You stopped typing and took a deep breath.

“He’s—” you started, trying to think of something while your head replayed how you’d argued the night before.

Chan let out a chuckle. “Yeah, he sounds great.”

“Oh, fuck off,” you groaned, a little harsher than you’d meant it, “let’s just get this done.”

But Chan didn’t let up. Your inability to define your love for Changbin had apparently made him very eager to tease you and it was getting harder and harder to ignore him.

“I bet he sleeps with his socks on,” he said, sipping his empty drink loudly, “weirdo.”

“Chan please.”

“Tell me he doesn’t.”

“Chan.”

“He totally does, doesn’t he!”

“Chan I swear if you don’t shut up I’m gonna kick you where it really hurts!”

“Fine,” he said, still laughing, putting up his hands in defense, “jeez, I was just having fun.” Then he came closer and, entirely oblivious, wrapped his arms around you tight. “No more coffee for you, it makes you mean.” He gave your temple a quick kiss and, chuckling, got up from his seat.

“Gotta pee, this coffee is going right through me, be right back.” 

It occurred to you, as you watched him walk off, how odd your relationship with Chan was. Or maybe Chan was just an odd person? Or maybe he was simply acting oddly recently? You tried to shrug off the confusing thoughts and instead opened up your phone. The last text from Changbin was right at the top. You clicked it and smiled, rereading the sweet message he’d sent you the day before. You should probably make up with him soon, you decided.

After another half hour of half-assed adjustments, you and Chan finally called it a day.

“If you could input your slides right after mine, I’ll do the touch ups and bring it all to class,” you said, staring at your laptop screen, “we should probably go over it together the day before though.”

Chan’s face was in his arms on the table, looking drowsy. “Yeah, sounds good,” he mumbled, “I’ll type them out by Monday, we’ve got most of the stuff down already, it shouldn’t be hard.”

“Good,” you nodded, finally letting yourself sit back and relax. You closed your eyes in a long yawn as you stretched out your arms. When you opened them again Chan was looking at you.

“Tired huh?” he said, his lips curling up into a knowing smirk.

You stared back at your friend blankly. “You know what? Yes, I am actually. I stayed up most of the night.”

His eyebrows rose up in surprise but he didn’t speak.

“And that’s all I’m gonna say on the matter so can we please wrap this up now?” you added, “I think I should go see Changbin later tonight cause— well, we just have some things to discuss.”

“Wait, hold up,” said Chan, straightening up beside you and, finally, all laughter was wiped from his face, “I thought we were going out tonight.”

The memory of your promise hit you, throwing a small dose of guilt over your head. “I’m sorry, Chan, really. I just got some things to do—”

“Some things to do?” he interrupted, now definitely irritated, “you’re gonna ditch your best friend for some mediocre sex?”

“Chan that’s not what this is,” you started but you knew you’d set him off and there was no going back.

“Whatever,” he snapped, “it’s fine I’ll call some people who actually wanna hang out—”

“Chan—” you tried, shocked at the rapidity with which his mood had switched.

“—instead of someone who’ll leave me for the first boy to give her the least bit of attention—”

“Hey!” you said, getting up from your seat, heating up from the sting of his words.

Chan got up as well, the look in his eyes pained. “I said it’s fine,” he repeated, placing some money on the table and walking out.

(part 2)

[everybodyscupoftea]

chemistry

isaac lahey x reader

isaac needs help in chemistry and you need help in english - the beginning

this is for isaac anon and the few people that wanted this. i’m just dabbling here, so let me know if you guys want more! (i did quite a bit of Research for this and i have ideas)

also let me know, i left it vague, but if i expand i’m probably going to add in scott, stiles, allison, and lydia. would you guys like to keep it supernatural or do full au where they’re just normal college students?

You noticed the boy in your Intro to Academic Writing course, but you didn’t really focus on him, mostly due to freshman year stress, until he sat down next to you in General Chemistry. Stepping into the classroom you’d felt at ease, science was your jam, but the really cute boy put you back on edge. You felt hyperaware of him, his scent, kind of cinnamon-y, fall-esque.

He tapped his fingers on his notebook, and you couldn’t help but notice he wrote in green pen. You glanced every so often to see him doodling in the corner of the page instead of taking notes on the intro lesson on the scientific method that your professor was doing.

The boy rested his chin on his hand and his fingers went from tapping on the notebook to his jaw and you shook your head, trying to focus back on the professor who was talking about your lab groups.

“The people at your table are in your group. Lab is on Wednesday nights, I won’t be the instructor, you’ll have a TA, but you can email me or come to my office hours if you have any questions about what’s going on. I’ll see you all on Thursday.”

You started to pack your stuff and the boy turned to you with a crooked grin, “I’m Isaac.”

Shaking his hand, you introduced yourself and he stood, waiting for you to finish packing your stuff. You zipped your booksack, “You’re in my English class, right?” you asked, faking as if you didn’t notice him as soon as you stepped into the door.

He nodded, “Yeah, with Dr. Terranova.”

“He seems,” you trailed off, looking for the right word, “interesting.”

Isaac grinned, “You mean overwhelmingly picky for an English 101 professor?”

“That’s a great way to put it,” you told him, laughing.

The two of you walked out the door and down the hall together. Isaac shifted his booksack on his shoulders a little and asked, “Do you have any more classes today?”

“Calculus,” you told him and he grimaced.

“Fuck that.”

“You?”

He nodded, “Spanish.”

Unfortunately for you, the buildings were on opposite ends of campus, so you paused just outside the door to the chemistry building. Isaac paused too and smiled, “See you tomorrow night?”

“See you tomorrow, Isaac.”

-

Your lab group was made up of two boys and two girls. Isaac, Andrew, Abigail, and you. Out of the group, you were the only STEM major, and the only one who actually liked chemistry. Isaac patted your shoulder, “Well, that officially makes you team captain then.”

“Thank god,” Abigail added, “I’m an advertising major, my brain noped out of the sciences years ago.”

The other guy, Andrew, said, “I took Chem 2 in high school and didn’t pass the AP exam, chemistry and I have beef.”

You snorted and said, “Cool, well, I’ll try and lead us to the promised land.” They seemed to like that.

-

Your group was really smart, everyone was picking up the labs really easily and you were thrilled, especially when the teacher stood in front of the class after the first test review. She clapped her hands once, “Okay, the lab group with the highest combined test average gets five bonus points added to their test scores. This is me trying to get you guys familiar with study groups, especially if you’re going to be in STEM, which I know some of you are. Study groups got me through school.”

Unfortunately, everyone in your lab group already had stuff going on, so you couldn’t study with them. Fortunately, the test was on intro stuff like the scientific method, conversions, and balancing equations, and your group hadn’t had any issues in any of the lab work, so you weren’t worried.

But when you got the test back, you realized, maybe you should’ve been. Isaac got his handed back first and actually laughed when he looked at the grade. Before you could ask, the professor set yours down on the desk and you started flipping through it, frowning at the little points you’d had taken off for careless mistakes.

“Fuck,” you muttered, “should’ve gotten at least a 97.”

“Wow, can’t believe you fucked it up for the whole group,” Isaac sarcastically responded, nudging you with his elbow, before sliding his test on top of yours. He nudged you again, “As you can see, I’m carrying the team,” and he motioned toward the D written in bright red at the top of his paper.

Your mouth dropped open and you picked the test up, flipping through to see what he’d missed. Eyebrows furrowed, you looked over at him, “You should tell her you accidentally skipped the back page.”

“Oh, it wasn’t an accident, I just didn’t know how to do it.”

“Well,” you stuttered, “it was the same stuff we did in the last lab activity.”

Isaac nodded, “Yes it is, and I didn’t understand it then either.”

“I thought,” you paused, mind racing, “I thought we all did?”

He grinned at you, “Some of us aren’t science brains, my friend.”

“What are you?” you asked as the class started to pack up.

With a soft smile, he threw his booksack over his shoulder, “I’m a literature major.”

-

You didn’t mean to think about it as much as you did, but when 2 a.m. rolled around and you were at your most impulsive you couldn’t stop yourself from sending out a text.

Hey, do you maybe want to meet up and study sometime?

After hitting send you could’ve slammed your head into a wall. You locked your phone and put your head in your hands, “God damnit.” And then your phone dinged.

I’d love that, love to have a STEM genius in my corner.

Your cheeks heated as you read it and your mind raced with your heart. It was beating harder and part of you couldn’t even believe he’d said yes. Taking a breath to steady yourself, you responded.

Idk about genius but I’m not half bad at chem

He responded, even faster than the first time and you grinned, unable to stop it from overtaking your face.

I may not know much about the scientific method or whatever, but all evidence suggests otherwise, genius

-

The next test wasn’t for a few weeks, but Isaac wanted to start studying earlier. He suggested meeting at a coffee shop called The Beanery. Coffee shops weren’t really your jam, you liked the silence of the fourth floor of the library. Go early, get a table, put in head phones, and go to work. But, you were open to try Isaac’s suggestion.

It was brightly lit when you walked in, and he was already there, at a table in the corner, laptop out. Books were spread across the tabletop, and he already had two empty mugs on the table in front of him, leg bouncing as he aimlessly chewed on a pen.

Shaking yourself out of staring, you walked to the counter to order. Isaac smiled up at you when you made it to the table with your coffee.

“Welcome,” he told you, moving some of his books out of the way. Sitting up straighter, Isaac glanced around, “What do you think about this place?”

“It’s nice, definitely a change of pace from my norm.”

“Where’s that then?”

“Library, fourth floor.”

“Quiet up there, huh?”

“Yeah, but I listen to some music for background.”

“I like coffee shops,” Isaac said, closing his laptop, “the vibes are nice and my clothes always smell like coffee afterward which is a fun bonus.”

At his comment, you looked down at his clothes. You were a little surprised to see that he was dressed just like during the week: jeans, a nicer t-shirt, and a cardigan. You’d wondered, deep down, if he dressed nicer for class, but it didn’t seem the case. Isaac cleared his throat and your eyes snapped to his face, ears burning when you saw him staring at you in amusement.

Coughing quietly, you reached for your booksack, “So, chemistry. Do you understand what we’ve been going over?”

“I know they’re called Bohr models but I don’t know anything else about them.”

“Right, so,” you paused a minute, trying to figure out where to start, “it’s a way to draw an atom and it’s kind of like a planet.”

Isaac leaned forward through your explanation, resting most of his weight on his elbows, and tapped the green pen against his lower lip. Every so often he’d ask a question, shift a little and write something down in his notebook by whatever he’d scribbled in class. His questions were shockingly insightful, and you eagerly answered them all.

By the time you’d gotten through the basics of thermodynamics, he’d added a whole page of notes, and you could tell he was starting to lose interest. Shutting your notebook, you told him, earnestly, “I hope this helped a little.”

“I promise,” he looked you straight in the eye, “it makes sense. This all looked like a foreign language before we met up.”

“Good,” you nodded, “this is my jam.”

“Keep on spreading it,” he joked and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well,” you admitted, “you may not be good at chem but you’d kick my ass into next week in English.”

“How’s your paper going?” Isaac asked, leaning back and crossing his arms, looking genuinely interested.

“It’s…going.”

He snorted, “That doesn’t sound promising.”

“Yeah neither does my thesis.”

“Do you have your laptop?”

“Yeah.”

“Let me have a look,” he suggested.

Pulling up the word doc, you passed your laptop over, staring down at your hands, twiddling your thumbs, a little nervously, as he read through your rough draft.

“What did Dr. Terranova have to say in your conference?” he asked, pushing your laptop away.

You sighed, “He was less than complimentary.”

Isaac laughed, “It’s not that bad, but it could use some polishing. I can help of course.”

Relief washed over you and you felt a weight off your shoulders, “That would be incredible actually.”

“There, now we’re even. You tutor me in chemistry and I’ll make sure you pass English, starting with this rough, and emphasis on rough, draft.”

Reaching across the table, you shoved at his hand, “Be gentle.”

“I’m going to get another chai,” he said, standing to stretch a bit, “and you pick out what sentence exactly you think is your thesis. We’ll start there.”

Biting your lip to conceal a grin, you nodded, waking your laptop back up.

[its-bianca]

Why to keep a journal in 2020 🖋✨

Whether it’s an art journal, audio, text based, I think we all need to take some time to get our thoughts out of the jumbled pink blob that is our brain.

get your thoughts out - It’s hard to keep all your thoughts in your head. I used to think that I could just think everything out in my head, but eventually I learned that putting them down, having a physical manifestation of my thoughts actually helped to rationalize my thought process more clearly.

learn things about yourself - Like therapy, writing down your thoughts often helps you wonder why you think that way and go deeper into your reflections, especially when you aren’t cycling the same thoughts over and over again in your head. By getting your thoughts out, you’re making space for new thoughts in. In a weird way, journaling has actually made me realize why I’ve been so upset with my family, why I hate certain places, and why I’m so stressed out all the time.

understand your thought process - Also like therapy, you realize your thought process with how and why you got there. Are you falling into logical fallacies? Are your thoughts biased towards a certain perspective? Do you fall for common tropes or stereotypes about other people? Getting these thoughts out might help you realize these missteps in judgement and logic. Being introspective and self-aware goes a long way.

motivation & inspiration - I sometimes get inspired or motivated to do work, because I (a) Write down reasons why I’m proud of myself and the little things I’ve accomplished that day which motivates me to do more work, or (b) Write down why I’m so stressed and pile of work I have to do which makes me realize that it actually isn’t that bad and motivates me to actually complete it. Things get less overwhelming when it’s not constantly jumping around in your head like a broken blender.

me time - We’re so invested in trying to understand and get to know the personal lives of other people, yet sometimes we need to take a moment for ourselves, especially after a long day. It really doesn’t take that long - just 10 minutes of thinking about yourself and your thoughts can go a long way.

be a better writer (or artist!) - This depends on the type of journal you’re going for and how you’re getting your thoughts out, but writing a journal could help you hone in on those skills. Writing or speaking aloud our thoughts can improve how your articulate your thoughts, especially if you’re like me and aren’t good with translating the jumbled mess in your head into understandable words. Drawing or writing poetry to express your thoughts could improve your skills in representing what you mean through imagery and more abstract symbolism. Journaling actually helped me a lot, because when I was younger, I got nervous to speak up in class because I didn’t know how to articulate my thoughts well; it might make essay writing go faster!

be in a coming of age movie - romanticize your process (healthily!). Sitting down with a journal, a cup of tea, and your favorite writing or drawing utensil sounds so romantic and cozy. Fit in with the tumblr studyblr aesthetic and post pictures if that encourages you.

So how do I start?

First, find out how you want to journal! I prefer physical notebooks, because I spend so much time on my laptop already, and I just like the feeling of being able to unplug and actually write something (also makes for more aesthetic pics...). I write in long-form, hardly any paragraph breaks, hardly any doodles, and not really planned or anything. I use a pen so I can’t go back and erase anything that I feel sounds bad or clunky or fix my grammar, because I don’t want to fixate on trivial details when I really want to just jot everything in my head. I find words work best for me, because that’s just how I best express myself. 

Next...it’s up to you now! I started getting into the habit by just committing myself to write something everyday, even if it was just half a page. It took many tries over some months to really nail it down, but once I started, it really took off from there. After about 1-2 months of almost daily journaling, I started cutting back a little. Yet, I hardly ever go for more than a month of not checking in and writing something down. Nowadays, it’s more like once a week or every couple days. I find that I journal when I’m feeling the most down, because it motivates me to pick myself up and do something.

Some extra tips: 

(a) If it helps, schedule a time with yourself to journal. Even just having a 15 minute chunk in your Google Calendar could help you to stay committed to it.

(b) Don’t feel pressure to write about any certain topic. It’s not an essay draft book, it doesn’t have to be a diary, it doesn’t have to be anything. I might draw or create a bullet journal-like spread in my writing journal, or I might not. It all depends on how I feel that day. Don’t feel like it has to be a diary where you have to write about everything that happened that day, or don’t think every thought has to be well articulated.

(c) Just have fun with it! Toy with a project idea, pour your soul out, get your thoughts on all every item on your to do list and how much you hate/love it. Just do whatever! There are no rules.

idk how to end this post so OK NOW GO! 

Another post on the different types of journals & notebooks

[killian-spey]

Death Would Be Kinder [Prologue]

Next Ch.

[Drusilla/Spike/Calendar!Reader]

Words: 1591

Fic Concept: Jenny Calendar’s sister spends some “quality time” with the Season 2 Vampire Squad.

TW/CW: violence

AN: Idea came from @prose-for-hire ‘s submission to the fic title game. It's a tad different from the original concept, but I just had so much fun with it! (Planned to be somewhere between 5-10 parts.)

It was Buffy’s 17th birthday today, but the mood seemed too heavy in the car for any giggling between the two of you. Truth be told, you both had a lot on your minds; not that you would have actually told her anything about your problems. You were staring out the window, picking absently at some dried paint on your arm; you never were able to master being tidy while you painted. Your older sister, Jenny, was driving the two of you to The Bronze, where the rest of the group was lying in wait to surprise her with a birthday bash. You made eye contact with her when she looked through the rear view at you, and you could tell she was just as worried as you were about recent developments.

Your Uncle had come into town recently and berated the two of you for letting Buffy and Angel get so close. Unfortunately for you and Jenny, if something didn't change quickly, Angel could lose his soul. All the work of your ancestors taken to curse him would be undone, and there would be no way to fix it. It's not that you wanted Angel to be unhappy, but the vengeance curse against Angel was not only important to your people, but possibly the thing that kept him from being a monster. If anything jeopardized that, it would crush Buffy and the gang. You didn't want to let anyone down.

Jenny pulled into the side street -having arrived at The Bronze- and you undid your seat belt. Before you could open your door, Buffy pulled your hand away from the handle.

“This looks funky, stop for a sec.”

You and Jenny both squinted, trying to see what she was even talking about. It took you both a moment, but sure enough there were two vamps clambering around on a truck in the shadows. Jenny tried to talk Buffy out of fighting them, but she left anyway. Something about destiny and all that. You were just impressed she could see that well in the dark.

Watching Buffy fight the vamps left you wincing, pitying the undead for having to go through such a beat down. You hung on the edge of your seat and leaned on the passenger seat in front of you. The two of you left in the vehicle hadn't had a chance to talk in private since Uncle had spilled the beans on the Angel problem.

“What are we going to do about the curse, Jenny?”

She made a face and shook her head, she didn't know what to do either. She knew more about the curse than you did -magic was never your strong suit- and if she didn't know, you both were stuck.

“If only there was a way to separate them.” You were spit-balling.

“Right, and how do you suggest we do that?”

She had a point, Buffy and Angel had been practically attached at the hip recently. You opened your mouth to speak, but paused as Buffy tossed the last vamp through a window into The Bronze. You and Jenny both made reactionary sounds that could only be summed up as “Yikes noises” and scrambled out of the car. Buffy hopped through the broken window and you both inspected the window. Jenny picked up a crate one of the vamps had been carrying and carried it inside.

After some pleasantries and some “Yeah, sorry! Vampires exist” talk with Oz, the group crowded around the mystery box. It was no secret that those vamps were Spike’s men, so whatever it was, it was definitely not good.

Your worry was confirmed when an arm shot out of the box, strangling Buffy before she and Angel managed to rip it away from her throat. According to Angel, it was the arm of The Judge. That meant Spike was building a one-man-apocalypse like some kind of demonic Lego figurine.

You glanced at Jenny, trying to communicate your plan silently as you addressed the group. “Someone has to take this thing as far away from here as possible- separate it from the other pieces.”

Jenny was quick, immediately understanding your idea.

“Angel, it has to be you. You're the only one who can protect this thing.”

It took a little convincing, but a plan was soon agreed on. You and Jenny shared a “Thank God” glance, secretly pleased that Angel and Buffy would be separated, at least temporarily. You could rest easy in the fact that Angelus wouldn't be loosed on the world in a freak accident of soul-losing proportions.

Or so you thought...

A couple hours later, you were back in the library doing research. Angel and Buffy had lost the box, and had everyone regroup to study up on The Judge.

To be entirely honest, you were doodling in your notes. Every text on The Judge said exactly the same thing, sometimes even verbatim. The Judge cannot be killed by any weapon forged by Man. It was exhausting!

Luckily for you, Buffy decided to break up the research with some good old fashioned recon, and Jenny suggested you go with them. Buffy was about to protest, but you cut her off.

“With the exception of you supernatural folks, I do have the best track record of holding my own. No offense, guys,” Xander seemed less than pleased with your not-so-subtle brag, but you continued anyway. “And, I’d be able to map parts of the facility super quick and easy. We’ll need that info if we plan on making a move.”

Reluctantly, Buffy and Angel agreed to take you with them and you snatched your notepad and pencil from the table, glad to be free from the texts and tomes… Even if it meant putting you in direct danger. You briefly wondered if maybe you shouldn't see a therapist about that someday, but shrugged it off as the three of you left the building.

---

Upon reaching the factory, the three of you climbed the fire escape and ducked into a broken, old window over a set of rafters. You had already begun sketching the layout of the rooms as you took in the sights below. It looked like some kind of party, to be plain. Vamps were crawling all throughout the place, a crystal bowl of what looked like punch rested on a table covered with cups in the middle of the warehouse space, and tall lattice-backed chairs were loosely strewn around a banquet table. You and Buffy creeper ahead on the grate walkway above it all. Your eyes were locked on the party, but you could assume Angel was following behind; he was too quiet for you to hear.

Your eyes fell on Spike, he was in a wheelchair. He seemed to be enjoying himself despite his weakened state, talking to someone just out of your line of sight. Not a second later, you saw Drusilla dancing her way across the floor, swaying to her own beat and sweeping the red chiffon ribbons of her dress through the air. Buffy gasped softly, but you didn't see whatever she'd seen.

“That's him. The Judge,” Angel whispered from behind you both and pointed.

You saw him, just as he craned his ugly blue head up to spot the three of you gawking. Fuck.

You spun to face the window, finding two vamps in the way of your escape. Buffy and Angel had flanked you from both sides, but fighting this many vamps was completely futile. Before long, the three of you were dragged in front of Spike, Drusilla and The Judge. Spike rolled his chair forward to get a better look at Buffy.

“Well, Well- look what we have here! Crashers.”

“I'm sure our Invitations just got lost in the mail,”

You almost rolled your eyes at Buffy’s one-liner. How she managed wise-cracks at a time like this was beyond you. Ignoring the monologues, your eyes darted around in search for an escape method. Nothing came to mind, but when you turned back into the conversation, Drusilla’s eyes had locked with yours.

She was ever so slightly swaying to music you couldn't hear and your eyes followed her intently. She raised two fingers, pointed at each of your eyes and gestured to her own. She beckoned you. She was enchanting. Beautiful. She was- she broke contact as Buffy suddenly made a move and you took a second to follow suit, twisting out of a vamp’s hold and knocking him -and accidentally yourself- off balance. You were suddenly unsure of your footing, almost groggy as you fought.

Angel pulled a chain, crashing a pile of video monitors you hadn't noticed down from their perch onto The Judge. The three of you scattered. You ducked behind some crates and heard Drusilla call for the lackeys to chase. You spotted Angel and Buffy slipping into a sewer drain and psyched yourself up to book it twenty feet to get there to join them. You took one last look behind the crates -Drusilla locked eyes with you- and you booked it, not entertaining her gaze this time.

As you dropped down the sewer drain, you caught a glimpse of her, just staring at you. You scanned both directions of the sewer system, but found no trace of Buffy or Angel. In a split second you picked a direction and ran. You didn't stop running. Not for breath, not to look behind you, and certainly not to entertain the nagging memory of Drusilla’s eyes, staring into your soul as they'd done just minutes ago.

Read Next Ch.

[daisahi]

uh well you see... | koshi sugawara x reader

Pairing: Koshi Sugawara x f!reader 

Summary: it just so happens that after working together on an assignment you both accidentally grabbed each other's notebooks by mistake and now you’re trying to get it back. 

Words: 2,017

Warning(s): embarrassment, fluff, 

You lightly kept tapping your pencil on the desk up and down as you reread the assignment you had finished. It was currently lunchtime, everybody around you was chatting with their friends as they ate. While you sat alone at your desk double-checking the work before turning it in after lunch. Your heart was still beating, spending time with Sugaawara was hard he was always busy and never alone. It surprised you that he even decided to ask to work on it together nevertheless, your heart was jumping with joy at the idea. 

Having a crush on him was exciting yet a bit difficult he was naturally kind to those around him so it was troublesome to know if he liked you or not. Sighing you dug around in your bag to grab your notebook, it always helped to write down how you felt at least that’s what Kiyoko suggested. 

“Where is it?!” you mumbled taking your bag and placing it on the desk to look better. To your horror, the notebook that was there wasn’t yours instead it was Suga’s. 

‘I’m dead...I’m officially dead...he’s going to think of me as a weirdo.’ 

It felt as if your spirit had left your body and all that was left was your human corpse that laid there still horrified about what just happened. “Hey, are you alright?” your head turned to see Kiyoko and Yachi there “What’s wrong?” Kiyoko asked. 

“I think I just asked for death...” they looked at you confused and your hand extended out towards them as you held his notebook. However, they didn’t catch on as to why you were having a mid-life crisis. “How come you have Suga’s notebook?” Yachi asked. 

“We worked on an assignment together...then we accidentally grabbed each other’s notebooks by mistake...” you spoke and they both nodded still wondering what the problem was “So...the one that I use to write my assignment down is where I have my doodles and his name is written on it...”

“How did that happen?” Yachi asked, “Well you see...” you chuckled slightly feeling like an idiot. 

You bit your lip in concentration as you tried to figure out the next question. The door then slid open to reveal Sugawara, “Hey (y/n)!” he yelled out making your head turn towards the doorway. Your eyes widened seeing how adorable his messy hair looked! “Oh boy...he is making it hard for me,” you muttered. 

He smiled softly as he walked over to your desk “Sorry I was late.” he scratched the back of his head as his perfect teeth showed. “We had volleyball practice before lunch and some of them weren’t making it easier for me to come early.” 

You smiled lovingly at him and nodded “It’s okay I understand.” Suga then moved the desk and placed it in front of yours so he could face you. “Did you get started on it?” he asked, you quickly straighten yourself up. 

“Yeah, I have three questions down.” you answered “Already?” 

You nodded “Can I take a look?” 

“Sure.” you slid your notebook closer to him, “I kinda...had a bit of trouble with it so I apologize for it just being...three questions.” 

“Don’t worry you’ve done more than I have. I know you’re trying hard.” he spoke looking at you “I’ve seen you staying late after school with Mr. Fujiwara.” 

“Oh...y-you know?...” you mumbled looking away “There’s nothing to be ashamed of, (y/n).” 

“I-It’s not that...” you said “Then?” he asked you looked down at your lap not meeting his gaze. “I-I...just I’m the only one in class who still has trouble with English...it’s not my first language...I feel stupid...sometimes I guess...” 

“I don’t think you’re stupid nor does our teacher and your friends (y/n). I have trouble with science sometimes that doesn’t make me stupid does it?” 

“Of course not! I-I’ve...never thought about you...that way. I think you’re really smart Suga.” 

“Then don’t think that way about yourself everyone needs help sometimes. Without help, we wouldn’t know how to get better, think about it like this.” he continued “Each time you ask for help you’re closer to getting better little by little as if you were running an obstacle course.” 

The thumps in your heart became louder as he leaned in closer, he chuckled making you blush in return. “R-right!” 

“I don’t think we’ll be able to finish it in time for tomorrow. Why don’t we meet after school?” he suggested “J-just the two of us?” he nodded “W-what about...p-practice?” you stuttered. “Today we’re just practicing our spikes. I can ask coach Ukai if I can stay for an hour and then leave.” 

“I see, then s-sure let me know what he says then?” he got his phone out and then so did you. “I’ll give you my phone number so I can message you.” 

A wide smile spread on your face feeling excited about getting his phone number. Once you traded phone numbers the bell rang, “I gotta go I’ll text you.” he said grabbing the left notebook. You nodded resting your chin on your hand not caring about anything else, only Suga. “Bye Sugawara!” you exclaimed bravely waving goodbye. He waved goodbye as well and gave you a smile. 

“Oh...” was all they said before they realized what had occurred, “Just ask him for your notebook back.” Kiyoko said, “I would...but if he saw what I wrote in it and asked me about it I wouldn’t know what to say!” you exclaimed, “I’m dead.” 

‘I rather just crawl in a hole and die before asking for my notebook...my chances are ruined...’ 

“I got an idea! Why don’t you come to practice with us? That way while he plays you could sneak into his bag and get it back!” your eyes widened at the idea of retrieving your notebook back. “Yachi! I love you!” you exclaimed making everyone turn around and look at you two. Your arms went around her neck hugging her tightly she was a blushing mess and people’s stares didn’t help. 

“I still have a chance!” you spoke with such happiness, “Now I just have to wait till practice and hope he's not there."

"Don't worry I'll keep him distracted!" Yachi exclaimed. 

--

After school you waited a few feet away from the gym, Yachi and Kiyoko arrived a few minutes later. “Are you ready?” Kiyoko asked “No...” you groaned feeling your stomach full of butterflies “I-I don’t want to get caught.” 

“We’ll keep him distracted, right now they should be getting changed,” Yachi said pointing to the club room. “It’s the second door.” on cue the guys then walked out, “Hide.” 

You hid behind the vending machines “Hey what are you doing out here?” Daichi asked, “We were discussing something about the assignment we were about to head inside.” Kiyoko answered while Yachi seemed a bit nervous. 

“Are you alright?” Sugawara asked looking at Yachi, “Y-Yeah! Let’s get the practice started shall we?!” 

Hinata then took off running, “HEY! NO FAIR YOU GOT A HEAD START!” Kageyama yelled and went after him. “I swear they’re such idiots,” Tsukishima commented while Yamaguchi laughed. 

Once they finally started moving Kiyoko gave you the signal and you quickly dashed to the club room. You walked inside, looking around frantically for Sugawara’s bag. “Where is his bag? All I know for sure if Daichi’s bag is around then his has got to be next to it. 

“Let’s begin stretching,” Daichi called out, everyone got in line and started counting after him. “2, 2, 3, 4.” 

“1, 2, 2, 3, 4,” Sugawara said stretching his right arm and pulling it across his chest with his right hand. Coach Ukai looked around, “Hey specs.” he said, “Yeah?” Takeda replied. 

“Have you seen the clipboard that has the moves listed?” Mr. Takeda looked around but shook his head “I don’t see them anywhere Sir.” 

“That’s weird...I distinctly remember leaving it here.” he mumbled, “Maybe you left it back at the club room, we did have that meeting two days ago after practice.” 

“Right...” Coach Ukai said rubbing the back of his neck “Crap...” he turned to look at the team “I’ll be right back guys keep stretching and then start warming up.” 

“Where are you going coach?” Hinata asked, “I forgot the clipboard back at the club room.” Yachi’s hairs then stood up “W-wait! I-I can g-get it m-myself! Coach you don’t have to go!” she spoke. 

“Don’t worry I can go get it myself.” he smiled softly “Yachi! Can you come and toss us some volleyballs please?” Hinata asked “O-oh! U-uh...” 

“I can go no worries.” Sugawara said, “Plus I was going to go back to get my sweater.” 

“Thanks, Sugawara.” Coach Ukai responded, he then left and Yachi immediately texted you. 

“Where can it be?!” you yelled in frustration. Your phone then vibrated in your back pocket. However, you ignored it and let out a small yay of happiness that you found his bag.  

“Now I can rest in peace,” you spoke smiling widely holding his bag tightly against your chest and hugging it. 

“What...um...are you doing with my bag?...” the happiness didn’t last long and now you were fearful. 

Sugawara walked closer and saw your notebook, “I was going to return it to you...I-I accidentally grabbed yours instead of mine. I guess I don’t need to do that anymore.” 

“I-I’m sorry...” you mumbled quietly as strands of hair covered your titled downward face. “It’s okay.” 

However you never once looked at him you felt embarrassed. He examined your face and saw it was red. He was a bit overwhelmed with the situation not knowing how to decipher it all he knew was that you looked into his bag. 

“I-I...um I-I know this looks bad! A-and I have no right to even look through your belongings! M-more or less when you’re about to have practice b-but I-I couldn’t wait...I-I...” you sighed looking at him with watery eyes “I-I’m sorry...”

Sugawara frowned and took a step forward “Was there something important?” 

“M-more...like embarrassing.” you mumbled, “I doubt it was anything that bad.” 

“Oh trust me...you’d be running towards the hills...” 

He chuckled lightly and took the notebook, once you had let go he took it as a sign to look. 

Sugawara...he’s the best! 

He may be number two on the court but he’ll always be number one in my heart <3 

Sugawara was surprised but happy to see that his crush liked him back. His smile grew wider reading all the messages that the notebook had. Even doodles like flowers and hearts, his jersey number was drawn big. 

I know how much he is driven to play volleyball and wishes to be on that court. His determination to become better and take care of his teammates but most importantly his friends...is admirable. 

KOSHI SUGAWARA <3 <3 

(y/n) Sugawara <3 

“You must think...I’m a freak.” he shook his head and handed you back the notebook. “I’ve never had someone written anything about me, it’s definitely different but at least now...” 

His gaze then connected with yours making your cheeks turn red “I know you feel the same way.” 

“H-huh?...” the realization then dawned on you, your heart went wild and it felt like you were on cloud 9. “W-wow...I-I um didn’t expect this to go good.” 

“Me...neither but I’m glad it did.” 

“Same here.” 

You smiled softly feeling a lot more calmed down, he then closed the gap between you both and leaned in. Your eyes closed on their own, butterflies fill your stomach again. 

His lips connected with your cheeks as his hands held your own. 

“So this is why you took so long.” a voice suddenly spoke, Suga stood next to you holding your hand. “D-Daichi!”

It wasn’t just him the whole team showed up! “FINALLY!” Tanaka and Nishnoya exclaimed, “After a year you finally did it.” Asahi commented “N-Not cool guys!” Sugawara exclaimed, “We’re just happy for you two.” Coach Ukai smirked looking down at you. 

“This is going to be talked about forever...” you muttered, “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” they sang “First comes love then comes to kiss...” 

 “Yup.” 

[bangtan-gal]

By the Book

Kim Doyoung x Fem!Reader

Soulmate!AU Tutor!AU College!AU

Warnings: fluff, angst, I think there’s swearing lol?

Word count: 2.5k

“Just get a tutor already.” Your mom’s voice crackled over the receiver. You sighed, leaning against the wall and pressing your phone tighter to your ear. The coffee mug you held had gone cold, the forty minute conversation giving you no time to enjoy it. Your gaze darted towards the swaying trees outside your window and then to the cars zooming along the highway. 

“But tutors are expensive,” you huffed, setting the mug down on your counter. The dark brown liquid sloshed sadly in the blue mug as you walked away. Your calculus class was in forty minutes and you weren’t even remotely ready for the day. 

“They don’t have to be a professional, honey. Just go to your professor, I’m sure there are students in your class or other classes that are willing to do it cheap or for free,” she replied, her voice cutting up. You groaned, that was the last thing you wanted, to have to deal with the pretentious idiots at your school for longer than necessary. “And plus, they’re not broke college students, they won’t need your money.”

“Thanks mom,” you grumbled, making your way into your room. “I gotta go. Tell dad hi for me.”

“Love you!”

“Love you too,” you whispered, pressing the button. You didn’t give yourself time to gloom as you quickly threw on your clothes and tried to look decent for the day. 

    The walk to campus was annoyingly boring as always. The same cottonwood trees, the same expensive cars zooming past you, and the same, obnoxiously loud dog shrieking at you as you passed in front of a large white house. You didn’t necessarily hate your school—the professors were amazing and you were on a full ride scholarship—but it was more of the other students there. They all drove Lamborghinis that they hadn’t even worked for and wore clothes that they bought with their parents’ cards.

You were lucky the school even accepted you. 

You stepped into the lecture hall ten minutes early, nervously approaching your professor’s desk. It took her a second to notice you and when she did, a tired smile fell on her lips. Dark circles could be seen behind her thick-rimmed glasses and her face was makeupless. 

“Y/N, what can I do for you?” She queried, sliding her coffee out of the way. 

“Um… I was curious about getting a tutor for this class?” You murmured, your voice quieting as you got further into the request. The woman nodded, pulling her graying hair from her face as she searched through her desk. She pulled out a yellow sheet of paper with several neatly printed names and numbers on it. Her gaze scanned over it before she paused with a soft ‘aha!’

“I don’t think he’s busy,” she mumbled to herself, before turning the page over to you, tapping her pen beside a name. “Kim Doyoung, I believe he’s a year or two above you. Very smart and has successfully brought up a lot of others’ grades before. Although I have to warn you… he’s kind of a smartass. He can be hard to work with at times…”

You stared at the name and number for a second.

Then you pursed your lips; you really needed to get a higher grade in this class.

Your hands shook as you entered his number into you phone. You sat through the rest of class in silence, taking as many notes as possible and forcing yourself to focus on the lecture itself. As class ended and you softly thanked her for the number, you forced yourself to be accepting of this boy. You had no idea who he was, but thinking of him as some rich boy toy before you even met him wasn’t a good idea. 

  You spent the rest of the day quietly in your apartment, flipping through your mom’s cookbook to see if you could cook anything in it. You called some friends from home and then worked on your historical art essay. Then when you found it impossible to distract yourself from the inevitable, you reached for your phone. You stared at the contact for a while before slowly typing in a text.

‘Hi! This is Y/N. Prof. Mutihl gave me your number. I’m in her Calculus class and I’ve been looking for a tutor.’

‘This is Doyoung, right?’

You oozed awkwardness.

    You groaned after you read the text for the thirtieth time. You definitely weren’t an expert at texting strangers. All you hoped for was him to text you back willingly. Your desperation for that grade was high and you’d probably hunt him down if he didn’t reply. 

    Hours passed and there was still no reply. You found yourself losing hope as the sun set and the neighborhood started to quiet down.The night went on and you slowly sunk into your english presentation. You were several pages deep when a light flashed in your dimly lit room. Your phone screen shone against the wall, a quiet ding disrupting your restful humming.

    The phone was warm in your hand as you picked it up. Two message notifications sat on the homescreen, both from a Kim Doyoung. It was nearly 2 AM and you snorted; obviously you weren’t the only one obsessing over something. 

‘Yeah, this is Doyoung.’

‘Sorry it took so long to respond, my friends forced me to go out to the bar with them. I’m free whenever, so whatever works best for you we’ll have to go over your goals and then work out a schedule.’

    You read over the text, a jittery smile flickering over your lips. He was down to earth and didn’t remind you of the several airheads you’d met here.Then you snorted; you hadn’t even met him and you were already assuming he would be better than the rest. You stretched out, reaching for your phone.

“Sorry, Doyoung, but trust is a fragile thing.” ➻➻➻➻➻ 

It was a cloudy Friday when you stumbled into the library. You wandered further in, looking around in wonder. You hadn’t been here once in your time here and that was just because you were too stubborn to breathe the same air as the other students here. It was grand, just like the rest of the school, but more antique. The library smelled old and you could imagine if you cracked open a book, the pages would be yellowing and maybe there would be dust.

You loved it.

    Despite wanting to explore the shelves, you forced yourself to stay focused. You looked around for the study rooms and once you found them, you looked for room 213. It took a while, but the room sat in the far back with clean glass walls. A boy sat at one of the tables, straight black hair shimmering under the bright lights. His face was slim, with a thin, straight nose. His eyes were closed, cheek resting in his hand and as you squeaked the door open, you realized he was asleep.

You pursed your lips as you approached.

And then you poked his shoulder, hard. 

He jumped and you prayed that it was Doyoung.

“Er… Kim Doyoung?” You hoped. He looked up at you, blinking and then started nodding. 

“Yeah, yeah that’s me,” he said, a nervous chuckle over-shadowing his words, “Y/N?”

You nodded and then sat down across from him. He smiled and adjusted himself in the chair, leaning forward across the table. Almost eagerly. His smile was slightly lopsided and as he moved, his hair fell along his forehead. The sunlight shone against his skin and the pale color glowed brightly. 

“Okay, so let’s talk about your goals,” he started, grabbing a notebook. He opened it and flipped through until he landed on a page that already had rows of ink on it. It was your name along with several organized sections that were probably going to be filled soon. 

“I need an A and I won’t settle for less,” you stated, straightening up in your seat. His smile grew at that and he looked up as you, eyes sparkling.

“Fabulous,” he murmured, quickly taking notes. You noticed that he wrote more than you said, but you didn’t pry as you grabbed your calculus textbook, slamming it on the table in front of you. “You’re probably the first person I’ve had who actually knows what they want and will get it.” 

He was silent for a moment as he scratched a few more notes onto the paper.

“And that’s honestly amazing.”

    The two of you exchanged few words of casualty as you immediately started your first tutoring session. Doyoung was good, you picked that up right away. He was quick too, figuring out exactly where you were and what you were struggling. You tried not to be judgemental but as the session continued, you oddly found nothing to be too annoyed by. The professor’s words of him being sassy made no sense, because he smiled the whole time and was nicer to you that you were to him. 

After thirty minutes, the two of you agreed to take a break. You wiggled your fingers, wincing at the cramps that had collected from how tightly you held the pencil. Your neck hurt a little bit and the library chairs weren’t exactly comfortable. 

“What are you majoring in?” “Um… well I’m hoping to be in the biomedical field,” you whispered, “and if I’m going to get accepted into the program next year, I need to get a good grade on this as well as a few other classes.”

Doyoung laughed slightly, nodding in understanding.

“Yeah, I… I tried to get into the nursing program, but it didn’t go as planned. Now I’m in accounting and business,” he sighed, mindlessly doodling in his notebook.

“Not what you wanted to do?” You guessed sarcastically.

“Mhmmm.”

“Why don’t you just retake the test?” “My parents aren’t supportive of it; they’re actually happy I failed so now I can take over the family business when I’m older,” he explained, looking up at you. You stared at him, maybe shocked because that wasn’t what you were expecting. You were thinking he would say something about having more freedom with money in that field. Your gaze dropped and you felt a sudden graciousness towards your parents and they’re support for you. 

You couldn’t imagine what that was like.

“And I’m assuming there’s no going against them?”

He shook his head. “Believe me, I wish, but at this point I’ve accepted it. There’s no escape from the family life plan.”

The laugh that followed was bitter.

    Obviously not wanting to talk about it anymore, Doyoung started up the session again. It was tense and awkward and you found him to be a bit more snippy than before. You didn’t reply to his little bites and just kept focused on the work he gave you. Once the hour was up, the two of you packed up quietly and then left the room side by side.

“Well, I’ll see you on Tuesday. It was… nice meeting you,” Doyoung murmured, reaching out a hand. You murmured ‘likewise’ quietly and then went to shook his hand. Both of you froze the second your hands connected, memories that weren’t yours racing through your mind. 

    You jumped back, clutching your hand tightly to your chest, but the memories remained. They were definitely Doyoung’s, some of them recent and others of a tiny version of him. His eyes bore into yours, jaw dropping open as his hand stayed where it was. Your heart raced as you stared at him.

“Sorry, gotta go, bye!” You shrieked and then raced off.

 “Mom, I don’t know! But it definitely wasn’t my memories… they were—they were his memories and they still won’t go away! And it’s weird because at this point I can like, like I can pick through them and see certain ones and I’m afraid of stumbling upon something that I don’t want to see or something private that I shouldn’t see!” You cried into the phone, pacing around your living room. Your mom’s voice was muffled as she said something to someone else and then you heard a hearty sigh flutter through the receiver.

“Honey? I need you to take a deep breath,” she directed. You did so, trying to get control of the way your hands shook and how your heart was pounding abnormally loud. “Look, I need you to stay calm for me, alright? I got my old book ou—”

“You don’t think—”

“Honestly? I don’t know, but I need you to shut up and listen”—you did as you were told, clamping your mouth shut—“I mean, it doesn’t sound like any soulmate connection I’ve ever heard of, but even after two thousand years, we’re still finding new connections. So, once you touched, his memories flooded your mind and we can only assume that yours did the same to him, and even after you let go, they wouldn’t go away?” 

“Yes,” you squeaked out, sitting down on the couch. You could hear the faint sound of pages desperately turning. Your mom mumbled to herself as she read over something and then the line seemed to go dead. “Hello?”

“Honey, I think you need to talk to that boy.”

 ➻➻➻➻➻ 

“Your mom was a soulmate therapist for several years?” He asked, stirring the straw around his water. Doyoung could barely look at you, his eyes focused on your shoulders rather than your face. 

“Eleven exactly,” you huffed, “but… I mean, she said it was definitely a connection. She couldn’t find it in her book, but she read about something similar to it and I guess common sense suggests—”

“—that we’re soulmates,” he finished for you. The two of you were quiet for a moment as you both tried to mull that over. Of course it made sense, random things like that don’t just happen. You weren’t sure how to feel, it was almost like it hadn’t hit yet. Were you scared? Excited? 

Despite your mother being a soulmate therapist—Soulmate Connection Specialist specifically—you had never really paid attention to that. You were always focused on your dreams that didn’t involve love. Success, recognition, and maybe some form of happiness. You never had a view on soulmates, they were just a thing that existed in your life but you never completely acknowledged it. 

“Well… I mean, are you happy about this?” You whispered finally. 

Doyoung looked up quickly.

“Of course I am… it’s just, random I guess? Of course… I guess it’s random for everyone. I dunno, I’m just trying to figure this out—what about you?” He asked.

You paused for a second, eyes focusing on the way he played with the straw in his cup.

“I-I think I am happy about it,” you mumbled, thinking of how your heart raced and your uneven breathing. How your face was slightly red around him now and how there was a small smile playing on your face the whole time.

“Yeah,” you confirmed, “I am.”

[ambereyesandwine]

We’ve Got Soul: Chapter 2

WC: 2416

Warnings: Cursing, Sass, that’s all for this one

Beta’d By: @teaspacebar

Notes: I don’t actually know much of anything about spray paint and graffiti, so if I sound like an idiot, whoops. This part is 90% Gavin and Fantasia being assholes to each other while they work on a case. Markus is not in this one, but I assure you he will be back shortly :)

Chapter 2:

July 11, 2036

7:24 A.M.

           Fantasia arrived at the police station to find the parking lot was mostly empty except for a section of five parking spots against the wall that had been blocked off with cones and a ‘Do Not Cross’ projection line. “That must be the space I asked for.” She entered the station and showed her temporary access badge to the reception android so she could go straight into the back. The lights were on, but the only occupied desk was that of Captain Fowler. She knocked lightly on his open door, “Captain?”

           “Miss Jacobs, good morning.” He didn’t look up from his computer. “I had the workspace you requested sectioned off this morning.”

           “I saw that, thank you.” A pause filled the room. “Did you want me to get started?”

           He made eye contact with her. “Yes,” he stated with a finality.

           “Yeah, alright.” Fantasia nodded to herself as she made her way back outside. “That was kind of a dumb question.” When she got out to the parking lot, Fantasia set her bag down on the concrete and pulled her paint cans out. “Okay, it’s been a little while since I did this.” She looked at the reference photos again, put in her earbuds, and started painting. She had six of the same symbol up on the wall when she was interrupted by a figure at the edge of her vision. She paused her music.

           “Hey, how’s it going?” Officer Miller asked with a smile.

           “It’s going,” she sighed. “I don’t think these were all painted by the same person.”

           “What do you mean?”

           “Well look,” Fantasia grabbed the photos of the graffiti that had been left at each of the crime scenes and fanned them out. “I got a couple of them to match the photos you guys gave me, and-”

           “Talking about my case without me?” Detective Reed strode up with an unwarranted amount of confidence.

           “Ugh.”

           Officer Miller intercepted, “Fantasia was just telling me that she doesn’t think it’s one person.”

           “Oh, yeah? And what lead you to that conclusion, smarty-pants? It’s the same tag.” He cocked his head expectantly at her.

           “This one was painted by somebody left-handed; it’s heavy on one side” She flipped to the next one, “This one was done by somebody who doesn’t drag the can fast enough; the paint is dripping. This one,” She pulled another, “used something as a shield so there’d be clean lines even though the paint is so thin, and this one, was the person who designed the tag; it’s the only one that doesn’t have clear hesitation or mistakes in the paint movement.” She shoved the stack of photos into Detective Reed’s chest. “One tag, four artists, smarty-pants.” She stared him down, and Reed bitterly returned the look until Officer Miller broke the silence.

           “We should go report this to Fowler.” He said it timidly, like he was afraid they’d turn on him if he spoke too loudly.

           “Thank you, Chris, I’ll get right on that.” Detective Reed spoke through his teeth.

           Officer Miller hurriedly walked back into the station, leaving Detective Reed and Fantasia to stare each other down.

           “You plan on reporting to your captain anytime soon?” Fantasia cocked her head at Reed.

           His eyes narrowed. “You better watch the attitude, or-”

           “Or what?” Fantasia raised her eyebrows and extended her arms outward, “I’m the expert the DPD called in. You can’t touch me.”

           “Keep it up, I’ll figure something out,” He looked enraged.

Detective Reed turned and walked back into the station while Fantasia stayed outside for a moment to clean up her paint. When she went inside, Fantasia heard Detective Reed talking to Captain Fowler about her findings. She sat down in her usual chair by Reed’s desk and pulled the stray pencil and stack of sticky-notes over to her.

           “He shouldn’t miss these too much.” Fantasia started to doodle angry chibi versions of Detective Reed on each of them, sticking them to his desk wherever she could fit them. When he finally returned, there were only three of the neon-colored squares left in plain sight.

           “What the hell is all over my desk?” Reed questioned.

           Fantasia shrugged, “More doodles of you being a prick. I got bored.”

           “It still isn’t funny.” He crumpled them up and threw the drawings into the trash.

           “It’s still hilarious.” She stated with certainty.

           “Will you quit bickering and just get your shit done?” Lieutenant Anderson called out from his desk. “Jesus, it’s like every time you two are in the same room, the whole world gets a migraine.”

           Detective Reed rolled his eyes and grumbled to himself, which made Fantasia snicker.

           “I’m gonna start rerunning through footage from the scenes now that we know we’re not looking for the same guy at all of them.” He said it more to himself than to her.

           “Does that mean I’m good to go?” Fantasia’s tone was laced with indifference and boredom.

           He huffed, amused, “No. You can sit there and stare at these pictures of spray paint until you can tell me more about ‘em.” Detective Reed tossed the stack over to Fantasia with a ‘get on it’ hand gesture.

           Fantasia only sighed before spreading out the stack and looking at each of them more closely. After a few moments of scanning over them again, she quirked her head as a realization hit her. “Reed.”

           “What now?” He groaned.

           “Do you want me to tell you or do you want to keep being a dick?”

           “What is it?” He managed a slightly calmer tone.

           “I’ve seen this before.”

           “What are you talking about?”

           “Or at least a version of it, hang on.” Fantasia pulled her phone from her pocket and pulled up her photos, scrolling until she found the one she was looking for. “I knew it was familiar. I did a piece over top of one of these, look.” She pointed to the photo where the tag was partially visible under her work.

           Detective Reed squinted at the screen. “I know this one.”

           “Yeah, that’s cause this is the piece you arrested me for the first time.”

           He laughed, “Oh, yeah. So?”

           “So, I know who painted it, or at least who they belong to.”

           “What does that mean?”

           “There’s a gang downtown that uses a tagging system for initiation. It used to be a dragon or some shit, but they just changed leadership. This one is a kid…” She trailed off in thought and snapped to herself a couple of times “Joseph Palmer.” She leaned back, satisfied with herself. “This was his tag before he was in the gang, he must have taken over.”

           “Wow,” He looked absolutely taken away by her answer.

           “What?”

           “Nothing, it’s just the first time I’ve ever heard you say something useful.”

           Fantasia’s fists clenched and her nostrils flared, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

           “I’ll be back in a minute, try not to miss me too much.” As he rose from his chair, Detective Reed gave a wink and finger guns before he walked away.

           Fantasia sat quietly for a few minutes until Detective Reed returned. “Well?”

           Reed grabbed his jacket from the back of his desk chair. “We got a hit, and we’re gonna go get him.”

           “We are?” Confusion clouded her tone.

           Reed’s features contorted as if he’d heard the dumbest thing in the world. “No, stupid, we are.” He gestured to himself and Officer Miller. “You’re not a cop, you don’t count when I saw ‘we.’”

           She rolled her eyes.

           “You hang out here, we won’t be gone very long, and we might still need your help.”

           Her eyebrows shot up. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

           “What?”

           “Did you just say you need me, Detective Reed?” She smiled cunningly at him.

           He scoffed, “No, I said you’re not allowed to leave. We’ll be back in a little bit. Stay here.” Officer Miller followed him out of the station, leaving Fantasia alone at Reed’s desk.

           After she was sure he was gone, Fantasia moved to sit in Detective Reed’s chair behind his desk. She checked her phone to find a text from Carl that read ‘How’s the “not in trouble” thing going?’

           She laughed to herself. ‘It’s going well. I’m pretty sure we know who’s been leaving the graffiti tags.’

           ‘Oh yeah? Maybe you should be a detective instead of a painter.’

           ‘Are you firing me?’

           ‘Only if you miss another dinner with less than two hours of notice.’

           Fantasia audibly scoffed. ‘Not my fault. Besides, wouldn’t you rather me be called ‘The Expert’ for the first time than be ‘The Arrested’ for the fourth time?’

           ‘Very true, at least you aren’t in handcuffs this time.’ The text came through immediately followed by an upside-down smiley-face emoji.

           ‘Rude.’

           ‘Get back to work, I’m sure you have things to do.’

           Fantasia shook her head as she put her phone down and looked around to see if she could find where the smell of coffee was coming from.

           “Lieutenant Anderson?” She called out.

           “Hmm?”

           “Where might one find coffee in this place?”

           He barely looked up from his computer when he replied, “Down that hall and to the right, help yourself.”

           “Awesome, thank you.”

           When Fantasia returned to the desk area, steaming cup in hand, Lieutenant Anderson called her over.

           “Yes, sir?”

           “Please don’t call me that.”

           She took a small sip of her coffee before asking, “What would you prefer me to call you then?”

           “Just Hank is fine. Take a seat.” He gestured to the chair by his desk.

           “What’s up?” She sat down with one foot tucked under her.

           Hank looked her over once and saw the inside of her cup. “I have some- wait, is that straight black coffee?”

           “Yeah, why?”

           He looked surprised for a moment before shaking his head and getting back on his previous train of thought. “I have some questions for you.”

           “I will answer to the best of my ability. What’s on your mind?”

           “What do you do for a living?”

           “I’m a painter.”

           Hank squinted, “Actually a painter, or you just like to think you are?”

           A laugh left Fantasia’s chest. “No, I’m a real painter. I have an apprenticeship with Carl Manfred.”

           “Oh, he’s pretty good.” He nodded to himself for a moment. “Then why do you do graffiti?”

           Fantasia sighed lightly, “I don’t anymore. I had to quit; It was part of my deal to get the apprenticeship.”

           “Oh, that’s why we hadn’t seen you in a while. A couple of us started taking bets that Reed had buried your body somewhere.”

           “Nah, he couldn’t kill me. I’m the closest thing he has to a friend.”

           Hank chuckled and the two enjoyed a moment of quiet before returning to their own space and tasks. Fantasia pulled some paper from her bag to doodle and found herself drawing Detective Reed. She occasionally sipped on her coffee as she drew his resting grumpy face, until there was a commotion at the door of the station.

           Reed waltzed in with one Joseph Palmer in handcuffs and escorted him directly to the holding cells around the corner. They were quickly followed into the room by Officer Miller, carrying drive-thru bags.

           “So, I see you got him.” Fantasia commented as Officer Miller approached Detective Reed’s desk.

           He had a smile on his face. “Yeah, we did. You were right about it being more than one though.”

           “Oh, yeah?” She did her best to look surprised as she took another sip of her coffee. “I’m shocked.”

           “Hey. Tiny terrorist.” Reed called out as he walked over to his desk. “I found this,” He pulled a crumpled sticky-note from his pocket, “in my jacket. How many more are there?”

           “Several.” She thought for a moment. “At least 20 more.”

           “Where?”

           “It’s a surprise.”

           He gave her a glare. “Get out of my chair.”

           “Gladly.” Fantasia rose from the seat and sat in her usual place, sliding her notebook across the desk.

           Reed caught a glimpse of what she was working on. “What was that?”

           “Absolutely none of your business, is what it was.”

           A dissatisfied hum escaped him. “That’s for you,” He said with a gesture to one of the bags Chris had left behind.

           “You brought me food?” She quirked her head. “Is it poison?”

           “What? No. It’s a burger.” He shook his head as he started into his own food. “Eat. I know you’ve been here for hours.” He took a bite slightly bigger than he should have and pretended it was fine.

           “Wow. That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” Upon receiving a middle finger and fake smile from him as a response, Fantasia threw a napkin at Detective Reed. “Gross, you have sauce dripping down your face.”

           “Leave me and my sauce alone.” He wiped his face with the napkin and continued to eat.

           The two ate in relative quiet while Detective Reed filled out paperwork and Fantasia continued her drawing, sitting with her knees propped up in front of her on her chair.

           “You’re good to leave if you want.” When he didn’t get a response, Detective Reed peaked out from behind his computer to look over to Fantasia, who was hunched over her sketchbook, scribbling away. “What are you doing?”

           “I’m drawing.”

           “Can I see?”

           “No, you always hate my drawings.” She clutched the book to her chest.

           “No, I hate it when you draw me as an angry cartoon.”

           “Is there any other way to draw you?”

           Detective Reed scoffed.

           “Thank you for lunch.” Fantasia’s tone was hushed.

           “What was that?”

           “You heard me.”

           He smirked, “I don’t think I did, would you repeat that?”

           “I said I prefer chicken nuggets,” she said as she stood up from her chair, “just for future reference.”

           “Oh, good to know, for the never again that I buy you food.”

           Fantasia made an affirmative hum, “Yeah.” She shook her head with a small smile.

           “You know, if I liked you more, I might say good job today, and thank you for help.” Reed turned back to his computer. “Good thing I don’t like you.”

           She snorted. “Yeah, otherwise I might’ve told you to have a good rest of your day.” Fantasia ripped the finished drawing of Detective Reed out of her sketchbook and slid it across his desk. “See you around, Detective,” was all she said as Fantasia left the police station to head home.

[bts-aesthetic-drabbles]

House Party: Part 1

Background Info: You are a foreign exchange student at Seoul University where you are studying in medical school.

Warnings: Sexual Content, Drugs, Alcohol, Swearing, Angst

I am running down the overcrowded sidewalk of my school aggressively trying to make it on time to my 8 o'clock Chemistry class, for the third day in a row. With mid terms coming up in the next few weeks, I have been desperately trying to prepare for them by staying after class for extra labs and lectures. I have lost track of how many "all nighters" I have pulled this past semester.

I have to keep my grades up in order to keep my spot in Seoul University's highly sought after medical program. I was lucky enough to get in based on my outstanding test scores, but maintaining the same standard of test scores in university is not nearly as simple as it was for me when I was in high school. 

I finally stumble into the lecture hall just in the nick of time as the professor calls my name, "-(Y/N). Huffing and puffing in exhaustion I drop down onto my seat and sling my heavy backpack on the floor as I raise my hand to make my attendance known to the professor.

I have got to start sleeping more...I can not afford a single tardy or missed class. My parents will be so unbelievably disappointed if I manage to get kicked out of this program that I’ve worked so hard to get into.

"Hey! You left this on the table yesterday on your way out of class. I tried to chase you down to return it to you but you ran off too fast for me keep up " a melodic voice chuckles from behind me as a large hand pops up next to my head.

In the hand is my cherry colored faux leather journal that is filled with very personal drawings, poetry and photos that I have taken throughout the past few years. It was been with me for quite a long time and houses some of my deepest and darkest feelings. I am mortified to think that someone might have seen what all is inside it.

I can feel my cheeks blushing like crazy as I look up any meet the gaze of the man’s shining eyes. His kind and comforting smile makes makes my heart flutter. I carefully reach out and take the small journal from his outstretched hand and look down at the desk in front of me as I grasp the framiliar book. I really hope he didn’t look at any of the things in this book...some of its contents are beyond embarrassing.

“You really should hold onto personal things like that better. There are some cruel people out there that might try to use something like that against you one day.” He says politely with a shrug as I take the book from his hand and clutch it to my chest. Ah, so he probably did at least glace over it for him to know it’s very personal. I wonder what all he saw? Was he looking for something in particular, perhaps it was just my name? I really shouldn’t always assume the worst in every situation.

None the less, he did find it and return it to me so he is owed a thank you, “ Thank you so much, I have been so scatter brained lately. I can’t seem to keep my head on straight!” I bow my head lightly to the guy and turn my attention towards the front of the class as the professor begins his lecture.

Throughout class I can’t seem to focus on anything the teacher is saying, my heart is pounding in my chest and my mind keeps on reeling. I feel like I am drowning in my own thoughts about what the guy next to me is thinking about me and what he might have seen in my notebook.

Was it something super sad and embarrassing like an emotionally charged journal entry about how lonely I am because I have no family around here and I’ve lost all my friends since moving countries. Perhaps he saw some of the (potentially creepy) polaroids I’ve taken of random groups of friends on campus that are laughing and playing games together.

Maybe be saw the sketches of random people, places and things that inspire me. The emotions, sights and experiences of everyday life that make it so beautifully fascinating.

Maybe he took the time to look at everything in the book and maybe was able to piece together how much of a depressed loner I am. Maybe he looked at the contents and connected the dots of my soul that show exactly who I am and how I feel. And maybe he showed it to all of his friends and they had a good laugh together at how much of a loser I am.

Negative thoughts continue to roll around in my brain until finally I am forced to snap back to reality as the teacher ends class and people start slamming textbooks closed all around me. I shake my head and look down at the pencil in my hand and find that I had covered my blank paper for notes in doodles of random things.

I take a deep breath and begin packing my notebook and pens back into my bag as I force my mind to refocus on reality. I can not believe that completely zoned out for this entire class, I am going to be up all night tonight trying to read what I missed. It’s not like I have any friends here that I can get the notes from. Great job (y/n), way to totally fuck yourself over yet again....

Just as I reach to tuck my red journal I nto my bag I find that there is a small folded piece of paper sticking out of the top of it. I bite my lip lightly and tuck the paper further into the pages of the book and make a mental note to check it out later as I stuff the book into my backpack and shuffle out of the nearly empty classroom.

As that was my last class for the day I decide to make my way to the large courtyard in front of the main part of campus. The courtyard is often filled with students studying and hanging out with friends at any given time of day. People like to play sports, board games, read and have meals in the lush green grass.

Most days I set up my portable hammock on a couple of trees that are off to the side of the large lawn. The spot is next to small garden that is filled with a dozen different kinds of flowers and has the best view of campus. I like to study here and people watch from my secluded little spot. It’s quiet and peaceful and helps me to get my buzzing thoughts together.

I set my hammock up and carefully lay down in it so I don’t too over, which I have done an embarrassing amount of times. I just kind of flop backwards out of the nylon swing with my limbs flailing like out of some kind of cartoon.

I pull out my journal and open it up to the page where the folded note is. With slightly shaking hands I unfold it and read what the scribbled Korean handwriting says.

Hi! I want you to let know that I tried very hard not to look at what all was in your book when I found it yesterday. I just wanted to find your name so I knew who I was returning it to but...as I flipped through your journal I fell in love with your art. Your photos and drawings had me in a trance, the way you capture the essence of such complex things like emotions and relationships is so unique and it really moved me.

One of my best friends is an art major here and I think he would die to see some of the things you’ve created.

Also, I noticed that a lot of your book was written in English, which is so cool! I’d love to hear you speak some English sometime. Maybe you can meet another one of my friends who also speaks fluent English as well!

Sorry for rambling...Anyways,

I’ve noticed that you always seem to be in such a rush...and seeing how full your book is, you don’t seem to get out very much. So, I’ve decided that you are coming to party with me this weekend. I can tell that you need to get out of your own head and have some fun for a change. I know you will probably want to say no, so here is some motivation for you to agree:

1. I am not some kind of crazy person that is trying to lure you off campus to hurt you or something. The party is at one of the frat houses just off of campus and there will be a bunch of people there so you don’t have to worry about that. You are welcome to bring a friend if you want.

2. There will be plenty of food, drinks and fun involved. I can introduce you to the friends that I mentioned earlier.

3. I will let you copy my notes from class today since you seemed to be a little spacey and in another world today.

I can’t wait to hear from you! Text me for details! (XXX-XXXX)

-Jeon Jungguk

The handwriting is rushed and a little scratchy in nature. At the bottom of the note I spot a cute drawing of a planet and some stars on it, along with a tiny smiley face.

A party? I’ve never once in my life been to a real party...what do you even wear to a party? What do you do? I can’t imagine that I would be much fun to even hang out with considering I literally bake cupcakes in my dorm room microwave on Friday nights while listening to recorded lectures as a form of ‘fun’.

But maybe it’s for that exact reason that I should try to have some real fun for once. Fun that other people my age are having.

I type Jungguks number into my phone and send him a text with a little planet emoji to let him know that it’s me. He responds almost immediately with, “Ah, so you got my note! So, what do you say? Will you be coming?”

I agree to come and he texts me the address and time for the party and tells me to be sure to pack a small bag with some essentials just incase we end up staying at the party over night. I googled it and apparently, that is a normal thing that sometimes occurs at parties...

I scuttle up and out of my hammock and fold it up and put it in my backpack along with my journal and begin making my way to my small apartment on the far end of campus. I was lucky enough to be able to afford an apartment rather than having to stay in one of the school crowded dorm rooms.

I quickly make my way down the sidewalk towards my home. After several minutes the framiliar grey and white building comes into my sight and I watch as dozens of my fellow students make their way in and out of the popular apartment complex.

The place is nothing that special but it is conveniently in the middle of campus and even pretty modern with its decorations and room accomidations, expecially considering the cheap rent.

I currently am staying in one of the one room studio styles apartments that is on the top floor of the glass building. I press the elevator button and watch as the doors immediately open and reveal an empty elevator. How fast and convenient! That never happens!

I scurry into the elevator and begin rapidly pressing the close door button before anyone can get on. I hate riding the elevator all the way to the top floor with a group of university students.

Just as the door is about to close a tan arms shoots through the narrow gap in the door and says, “hold that elevator please!” Damnit. So close.

I press the ‘door open’ button of the control panel and the door dings and reopens to reveal a very disheveled and stressed looking man.

His dark brown hair is askew and one arm is overflowing with textbooks and lose pieces of paper. He must be a science major. His aura reeks of chaos and stress, much like me.

He clamors into the elevator and flashes a dimpled smile my way as he thanks me with a small bow, “Floor 7 please. Thank you so much, I am in a huge rush. I got out of a study group late and I really need to get back to my room so I can take care of my plants! I’m already a whole hour behind schedule and I’m sure they are dying of thirst andI need to cook something for dinner and...ah sorry I’m rambling and I am sure you must think I am crazy....” He says as he runs a long hand through his messy hair and glances at the floor.

My eyes must have been wide as saucers as I tried to process the guys increasingly panicked speech, “Uh, no I don’t think you are crazy. I just think you are stressed out and in need of a break. Which I totally understand. You must be a science major like me. Hello, my name is (y/n)” I say with a friendly smile as I extend my hand towards him.

His eyes light up and he sticks his hand out towards mine and shakes it once before running his hand through his hair again, “Hi (y/n), my name is Namjoon! Actually I am an English and world studies major, but I am getting my minor is in science. What made you think I was a science major?”

Oh an English major, I bet he can speak English! I haven’t met too many English majors here in Korea. I decide to switch from Korean to English and speak the the guy to test his ability, “Ah, it was the large stack of books and the intensely stressed aura you had on you Namjoon. I think you should take some time to destress before you make yourself sick” I say in perfect English.

I watch as his eyes go wide and his mouth parts slightly as he hears me speak English yet he responds quickly and easily is English, “You speak English so well! You must not be from Korea... And yes stress is defiantly a problem. But I am trying to study as much as I can today before I spend my weekend relaxing and having fun with some friends. I advise you to do the same science major (y/n). It was nice meeting you! See you around!” He says as the elevator stops on floor 7 and the door opens allowing him to step out.

The door closes and the elevator fills with silence as I smile to myself remembered the cute dimples smile of the man I just met. The elevator ascends on more floor to my floor and I step out and make my way to my room.

I unlock the door with my keycode and push my door open and remove my shoes before stepping into the framiliar room. I flick the lights on and I can hear the faint hum of electricity as the room is illuminated. I throw my backpack down on my dining room table and sigh loudly as I throw myself face down on my nearby bed.

What a day.

[halfgclden]

character meme for cleo;;; brotp meme for: l/katie, l/keaton, chase/ellie, chase/lulu, parker/kerri, parker/faye, jordan/victoria, ime/fizz, cleo/fizz;;;; headcanons: ☆ for chase, ☮for parker/faye, ★ for ime

Cleo

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod: The Orion Experience - Cult of Dionysus, Chance The Rapper - Cocoa Butter Kisses, San Cisco - The Distance, ABBA - Voulez-Vous (fun fact: Cleo only has two tattoos that are pure text and one reads “VOULEZVOUS” and the other reads “ANGELEYES” because she Knows what’s up)

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep – where they’re not supposed to: it’d be in the woods or the strawberry fields, but this happens very rarely

the game they’d destroy everyone else at: she loves pool and loves making people think she seems bad at it so that she can bet them lol 

the emoticon they’d use most often: ok it’s between 💕 and the pleading face but that won’t show up on the computer so

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep: she gets pretty cranky lol. it’s like when she can’t choose an outfit normally she just figures something out but when she’s tired and can’t pick out an outfit she wants to cry and not get out of the shower until the water runs cold.

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.: she likes chai lattes or mulled wine, depending on the mood

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump: she likes to take baths but she can’t really do that at camp lol (which makes her extra sad), so she’ll do yoga, light some candles, and then play sad music over her headphone and pretend she’s in a music video as she stares out the window (bonus points if it’s raining and/or she’s on the bus)

what they wanted to be when they grew up: a writer, and then an architect (the second of which she’s actually got a degree in)

their favorite kind of weather: she likes it when it rains, but a warm rain, because it reminds her of home

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?): she’s got a pretty good voice that she doesn’t do anything with but sing along to the radio/her playlist (but also get her drunk enough and she’s way down for karaoke)

how/what they like to draw or doodle: she mostly draws plants and things of that nature (ha, get it?)

L/Katie

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: L and every single time she pretends she didn’t do it and then laughs her head off at her own joke

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: gonna ignore this bc ya

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: i can’t see either of them getting arrested but maybe katie because L went to a protest or something and got caught up in arrests???

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: katie seems like she’d give good advice. she was probably like “L what’s up with you and Blue n Rosie?? stop being a useless lesbian” so ya c:

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: i feel like katie does this and L just giggles

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: ummm they both seem like they’d be like “no, you take what you want” “no, no, i insist, take what you want” lol

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: L starts them and they both get tired rather than anyone winning

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf would either of them??? 

L/Keaton

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: see above lol, but she’d take them from Keaton less often and offer some of her own as well

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: ha neither they’re both like “EW”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: keaton is so tame but i can see some unfortunate thing happening that he got caught up in and he calls L all embarrassed bc he’s like “i don’t want rory to worry too much”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: i think L is the one that gives more advice and comfort!!

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: L and keaton lets it slide because she’s a goober

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: lol L so that keaton can get the bottom bunk with his leg

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: they seem like they’d each throw a pillow and L would flop dramatically and give a death monologue 

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: neither?? idk

Chase/Ellie

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: chase always and ellie’s like “YOU HAVE UR OWN” and chase is like “YA BUT URS LOOK BETTER”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: look ik its always chase in jail but ellie has such a temper i feel like she’d be the one to be arrested lol 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: umm chase gives comfort, not advice, and he also doesn’t date so i guess that answers that

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: lol chase?? he’d cheat by changing his card to say what he wanted it to with his powers

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: chase says give me top bunk or give me death

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: i feel like chase would start one jokingly and end up yelling “i surrender!!!” over and over again as all the siblings team up against him

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf definitely not chase. i feel like ellie WOULD tho and chase’s hair would turn bright pink 

Chase/Lulu

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: they each steal so many fries from each other that they might as well have eaten their own fries

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: it’d have to be lulu

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: ok it’d be lulu busting chase out but also the idea of lulu going to jail and then making friends w all the inmates is so funny to me lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: they seem like they both wouldn’t?? chase might be like “u have any crushes?? is it carly?? u should do an interpretive dance to her favourite song i bet she’d fall for u then”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: lulu and chase is like “oh!! i can not see! i must be blind!”

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: i feel like they’d actually race each other for it lol. chase pulls her off as she’s going up the ladder, lulu oils it so he can’t get up, they both have to sleep on the floor

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: lulu starts them, chase is too good at them, but also i can see her and logan and carly all teaming up against him here too

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: gods why can i 100% see lulu saying this and chase being like “noooooo”

Parker/Kerri

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: parker and kerri is like “why didn’t you get two orders????” and he’s like “bc you got one that i could eat (:”

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: lmao parker and kerri’s like “get ouTTa here valentine”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: i can’t imagine why parker would go to jail but it would probably be kerri busting him out lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: hmmm kerri bc parker’s not good at advice oR comfort lmao

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: kerri only did this once when she realized how dumb the move was in chess and just took it back. parker didn’t even realize what her mistake was

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: parker would want the bottom bunk tbh

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: kerri and parker’s like “oh so thAt’s how it is???” and she gives up before it gets too intense

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf parker?? but only when he’s in a certain mood and then kerri’s like “you can’t sAy that”

Parker/Faye

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: parker tried once and got one warning. next time he’s getting stabbed

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: neither, faye just gags loudly

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: lmao parker and he’s like “tsk tsk” and she’s like “not another word”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: lmao they don’t talk about this stuff with each other

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: um if parker tried this he Would get stabbed

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: faye calls dibs on whatever she wants that day and parker’s like “ugh” and argues for like five minutes just to argue and then lets her have whichever she wants

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: they don’t pillow fight anymore because every time they did it would get too serious lol

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: um this seems like more of a faye line but would she say this to jack ???

Jordan/Victoria

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: jordan doesn’t get food, he just steals victoria’s fries and then she’s like “vvvvvvv why didn’t you just sAy you wanted friES????”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: if jordan ever got caught, victoria. but also if victoria ever got caught doing something w cyrus i doubt she’d call jordan lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: umm they Don’t

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: they shamelessly cheat in other ways lol

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: jordan teleports there and sticks his tongue out and she’s like “well i wanted the bottom bunk ANWAY asshole”

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: jordan starts them and nobody wins them bc he runs away but vic counts that as him giving up so she wins lol

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: both of them are like “ew” but also vic would just to annoy him

Ime/Fizz

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: hmm fizz steals them and ime lets her

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: ime has to bust fizz out and fizz is like “don’t say it” and ime’s like “u shouldn’t have gotten caught” and fizz is like “i told u not to say it!!!” and then she’s like “ugh just don’t tell alec they’ll cry” and ime’s like “hmmmmmmm… ok”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: lol ime gives advice and fizz is like “omfg did i ask??”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: neither of them need to do this they just play and let their powers go wild

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: hmm fizz

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: umm ime starts fizz wins?

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: ime says this to caine and fizz is like “i’ll kill u”

Cleo/Fizz

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: ummm fizz but cleo would offer anyway

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: lol cleo would

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: cleo does nOt seem like the person who fizz would call but she’d come get her if she did

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: cleo’s like “ugH i like someone” and fizz is like “can u be a little quieter abt that please that’s gross”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: they cheat in other ways thank u v much

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: ummm cleo will say she’s fine with either and then fizz chooses the one she wants and cleo sulks lol

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: cleo starts them by accident, fizz wins

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: fizz?? to make fun of cleo mostly

Chase

☆ - happy headcanon

chase will leave post it notes on his sibling’s doors/on the bathroom door/mirror to remind them to take their vitamins, grab their glasses on the way out the door, or pick up milk (and things like that). it started as a way to remind jesse that he should wear his glasses more but now caspar or ellie will also wake up with a little note on their door with a doodle that’s like “don’t forget an umbrella today! its supposed to rain!!

Parker/Faye

☮ - friendship headcanon

parker loves having a friend that he can be competitive with and also kind of be a total bitch with. he likes the fact that they banter and don’t talk about anything too serious

Ime

★ - sad headcanon

ime’s grandmother died only a few months after they arrived at camp. they were able to go home for the funeral, but they didn’t even know that she’d been sick and feel as though they never had a proper goodbye

[lucywithlupus]

“When my loved ones tell me the sparkle in my eyes are back, even if it’s for a day; and on that day, I feel. I feel the things that have been missing, things I didn’t even realize weren’t there anymore.”— Courtenay Ambrose Living with a rheumatoid condition means that you are pretty familiar with the rise and fall of your health. We would wish to always stay up, but sometimes, we fall, and we fall hard. Hospitalizations or a recovery period at home can be daunting, traumatic experiences. They make you realize how in one second, your health could be at risk. Whether it is for excess inflammation, a serious damage of your joints, bones or muscles, organ failure or an infection that your body cannot get rid by itself, there are plenty of possible scenarios where you are placed back in that hospital bed for a few days, only to be sent back home and told to take a few (or many) days off. And I will admit, those days are some of the saddest I have experienced in my life. Coming back home was like an explosion of emotions: anger, happiness, sadness, confusion, fear, etc. Knowing that I would have to take things slow was devastating to me since all I wanted was to finally wipe off all memories of me being in that hospital bed. But not all hope was lost, and, for the first time in so long, I can finally say that I am getting better, and I will continue to get better every day. In this post, we will talk about what can you do during those recovery days and how can you heal yourself in the best way possible. I carefully thought about the things I did during these last three weeks of recovery, and how each of them was either a step forward or backward. You are not alone, and we can put you on the right track to sweet, healthy freedom! Without further ado, here we go: How to get better after a long recovery break? Tip 1: Eat The first three tips that I have to involve the Big Three: Food, Water and Sleep. We all need them, we cannot survive without them, and, in most cases, they are the only three tools your body will need to make you feel better. When I came back to the hospital, I was still trying to listen to my body and what it asked me to do. It was super hard to eat again after almost two weeks of nausea and irregular appetite, so even choosing what to eat was an important daily task. I would constantly ask myself: "am I ok? what do I need?" Note that when you're sick, sometimes what you need and what you won't get mixed up. You may want to eat a tub of ice cream, but maybe that won't help in your healing process. Both what you crave and what you actually end up eating are important. Inform your doctor on both of these: your appetite patterns will always be a key hint of how your organs and metabolism are doing. Now, about nausea: no one likes it. But you have to get through it.Foods with a bland taste and some texture to them like crackers, popcorn and toast made for great post-hospital-food snacks, while also not making me want to throw up. Chewing your food rather than drinking it in soups or smoothies also makes your body fuller for longer. Don't be surprised if you eat more or less than you normally do: just follow what your body is telling you to do! The trick is to be aware of what you are eating, chose healthy things most of the time and treat yourself every so often. This is no time for a strict diet: change your eating patterns according to your mood and hunger levels! Tip 2: Drink water Water, water, water! Drink water, all day, every day, nonstop. Being properly hydrated is the only way your body is going to heal itself. So if that wasn't on your 2019 resolutions list, write it down now. You still have 11 months to achieve master levels of water intake. Another tip: make sure you have good hygiene. Sometimes, it is hard to understand for others, but I can't step into the shower without fearing death by slip. It was worse when my hand still had an intravenous treatment happening, and I needed to protect my hand from water at all times. Being clean and tidy at all times does not only make you feel fresh and clean, but it also makes you feel more motivated to make your day right. So wash your face, clean your teeth, change out of those PJs: make sure every morning, you are ready to step out that door, even though you know that you may not go anywhere. It's small tweaks like this that make a huge difference! Tip 3: Sleep and Rest    This should not come as a surprise to anyone, but sleep is probably what your body does more when its spending energy trying to heal you. Identify how does your body tells you it is tired and wants to sleep, and do not continue binge-watching Netflix just because you want to know what happens in the next episode. Sleep now. You'll thank me later. But obviously, you can't sleep all day. Resting other ways is just as important, but do rest mindfully. This is what I mean: you probably won't feel rested after that 45-minute Forntnite gameplay video, but probably you would by spending 10 minutes doing something else: listening to some music, coloring, playing an instrument, taking a walk. Surprisingly, I have found so many things that I can do to relax that I would not do before because I was too lazy to try them out! And for my fellow workaholics out there, understand that your body is not going to keep up with the same workload as before at first. That is perfectly normal and ok, and you should not feel guilty for that. If you really want to squeeze in some work,  just zigzag your way between breaks and work and eventually, things will get done. Tip 4: Know your limits This ties in nicely with what I was saying before. Coincidence, I don't think so! I understand that finally being free of nurses and doctors telling you do lay down and rest makes you want to do the exact opposite when no one is watching. But the truth of the matter is: if you don't stop yourself, your body will, using its own painful, unpleasant ways. Take your time to heal, that's why you are here in the first place! Accept the fact that you cannot go to work/school/ university or college right now because you put yourself and others at risk. Try to do some tasks, but make sure you prioritize health and rest for now. Plus, let me spill on you some truth: It is not your fault you are in this situation. It never was and never will be. String-theory-wise, there are so many possible realities where you are in the hospital for so many different reasons beyond your illness, like a car crash or an armed robbery. In these realities, no one would dare tell you it was your fault you got hurt, so why now? Why now blame yourself and actually sabotage your healing with bad thoughts? So every time you feel guilty, alone or weak, just think of your day and what you accomplished today. Today you got up, brushed your teeth, put on some clothes, took your meds, etc. Slowly but surely, these little victories will matter and push you forward.                Tip 5: Rebuild your space Imagine that you are a plane crash survivor, drifting in the ocean in a tiny lifesaving boat. Your house is like this boat:  it protects you, but you also spend a heck of a long time in it. So the logical thing to do would be to make sure this tiny boat has all the things you need to survive: a rain collector, a weapon for fishing, some good wifi, etc. In other words, make sure your house is equipped and cozy enough for you to survive the long wait. Bring important things near your bed for what I call "drop everything"  moments: basically, moments when you feel so bad, you just throw everything everywhere and toss yourself in bed, helpless and sad. Have essentials in your nightstand at all times: pills, water, thermometer, tissues, snacks, etc. These will save you during those "I can't get up" tragedies. Also, bring out things to keep you entertained throughout your stay. My room has never had so many books lying around. There are coloring pencils I haven't touched in so long which are now every day "grab and doodle" tool. I still cannot stay be separated from my headphones and fine tunes for long. You get the point. If you need something, do not be ashamed or afraid to ask for it. Call a friend, your parents, your family and let them know how they can help you! Tip 6: Try new things Imagine you are now at work or school, sitting in your desk, your mind wandering. These are the exact moments when you think: I could totally become a great dancer/ artist/ DJ/ chef if I had the time. I could totally start my own projects, read this book I want to read, learn more about this thing I love, etc. I could totally do all of those things, only if I had the time…. Well, knock knock, look who has arrived! Time has! This is the perfect time for you to try out all of the things you could not when you were too busy stuck in your routine. Do them now! Try some coloring, painting, yoga, that recipe you saw online but were too intimidated to do, that choreography that looked cool but challenging, that 1000-piece puzzle someone gave you but you just stashed away for another day. The world is your oyster, so go ahead! Tip 7: Have fun    What better way to spend your time than catching up with the people you love and maybe haven't seen in a while!Meet up with your friends, text them often if they are far away, call them a few times. Do not think that you are wasting their time: if they are your friend when they want to hear how you are doing, how your health is doing, etc. Make sure you are being honest: as cliché as it sounds, sometimes its ok not be ok, and those moments of sadness and worry is exactly what talking to others is for. It is super important to understand that not everything has to be about feeling sorry for yourself for being sick. Not every single activity of your daily need to revolve around your current illness. You have to find ways to distract yourself from the situation you are experiencing right now, otherwise, you will, as we Spanish speakers say, drown yourself in a glass of water. Sometimes, your problems seem bigger than what they truly are, and it is in those times where fun and games should arrive to cheer you up. So enjoy your home: watch some Netflix, play video games, watch funny youtube videos, play some music and dance, etc. Tip 8: Take care of yourself Sadly, not everything is fun and games, and you must find the balance between responsibility and perfectly normal laziness. Take your medications, call the doctor if they are not working properly or have weird symptoms. If possible, keep a record of how you feel each day, what your symptoms are, go to your checkups, etc. Know when your body cannot go further, but also challenge yourself every so often. When you listen to your mind and soul carefully, you being to be more honest with yourself, about what you can and can't achieve at certain times. You will be surprised at how, in the most unexpected moments, you will be able to get out of bed with no back pain, you will be able to go down those stairs with no fear of falling, you will be able to not feel sick for a whole day, then days, then weeks, and so on. Always question yourself: do I avoid this because I might get hurt or do I push myself to try to overcome it? Am I ready yet, mentally and physically, to take that step forward? Tip 9: Have faith Whichever religion you practice, or whichever believes you have on the universe and our existence, faith is a universal entity that will be the one to keep you going even in the hardest of times. Take a moment to meditate, pray or just reflect on what you did and what you can do for yourself today. Those moments are just as important as any doctor's appointment or medicine. They bring you a sense of peace and love that no other thing can give you. Always be thankful for what you are and what you have. Be thankful for both the good times and the not so good ones. Not many people keep up with what you do, so be thankful that you have the strength and wits to make it happen. Tip 10: Prepare yourself for life after your recovery Staying healthy ain't easy after a recovery, especially when reality slaps you in the face when you get back to your routine. Before you even step out, make sure your environment is prepared to welcome you back. Call your teachers, boss, or college professors to let them know where you have been and why you could not come back sooner. They will surely understand and help you to readjust to your old working habits. Take the time to reflect on your goals and what you truly wish to achieve in life. Talking to others about said goals makes it more likely for them to become a reality! Have clear and genuine care for your well being. Being back to your old life doesn't mean that you will put your health to the side after all that work to get better! Do not be ashamed or afraid to speak about what you went through, how you are doing and how can others help you to get back out there. Take it easy! Not everything will be perfect at first, and that doesn't surprise me! There may be a few slips here and there, but going slow and steady will always make you win the race in the end. Believe in yourself: you have overcome so much! Keep going! I believe in you! Aaand that's all for today, folks! Next week, we will move on again to Wednesday's "What is…?" post, and another lifestyle post for Saturday/ Sunday. Sorry for being late this week! I had so many things going on with university, checkups, seeing my friends, etc. I hope you still enjoyed the post and hopefully, some of it will help you survive your next recovery break- if it were to happen, always be ready! Take care of yourself! Love you! Bye! 

[the-ghost-and-the-writer]

One Day Off-Maria Hill X Female Reader

Maria keeps working way too hard so, happily, you make the day a bit less stressful for her.

Requested

(Part 1 of 2) I had to split this into two, the plot and the smut, because it’s so long already. 

Fandom: Marvel

Ship: Female Reader/Maria Hill

Characters: Maria Hill, Female Reader

Word Count: 3983

Warnings: Swearing

For the past week, Maria had been far overworking herself. Spending nights working, coming home when you were at work and falling asleep before you got home. She probably hadn’t eaten a proper hot meal in a while, and she definitely hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep or managed to relax at all, so you decided to remedy that.

She came in at almost 2am, trying to be quiet so she didn’t wake you. There was a reason she didn’t go out on missions herself much, since you did stir and turn your head to see her “Hey.” You grumbled and she sighed as she sat down on the bed. “Sorry.” You sighed softly and turned to look at her as she removed her shirt and jeans. “‘s okay.” She pulled on a tank top and got into bed, facing you. She looked upset, way too tired for her own good. You couldn’t help the frown that went across your face, and you moved closer so you could rest your forehead against hers since you were too tired to do much else “You’re home late.” “I know.” She kissed your forehead and then sighed, snuggling further into the blanket “Go to sleep.” You wanted to argue against it but you were really tired so just nodded and closed your eyes “I love you.” You mumbled an agreement and fell asleep near instantly.

You woke up at 7, and she was gone. Not that it surprised you to find yourself alone again, she hadn’t been there when you woke for days and this was not the first week that went like this. Before you left for work, you placed some obnoxiously bright sticky notes around the house where you knew she’d find them; the typical fluffy notes of ‘I love you’ and reminders to eat or bathe, accompanied by cutesy doodles. Simple, yes, but you knew that sometimes it was all that was needed to make her day. The slightest care that she wouldn’t do until drastically needed or reminded. You texted whenever you could, telling her that you loved her or just sending her pictures and emojis that would make her smile, you even got a few texts back when she had the time. Other than that, you got on with your day. You spoke to the people at work that you at least tolerated, had moments where you were distracted as usual, but generally you did as you were meant to and finished what you needed to do. You maybe didn’t eat as much as you’d have liked but it’s all you had time for in your break.

When you got back home, Maria wasn’t there. You knew she had been at some point, because the sticky notes weren’t on the cabinets and the doors, where you’d left them. Instead, there was one bright purple note left on the counter beside the coffee pot that was adorned in her handwriting ‘Thank you, honey. I love you’. There were a few small dots below that, like she wanted to write something else but decided against it. You thought nothing of it and just took the note into your room, hiding it away in a drawer with the other little notes she’d left for you. Most of them were pretty much identical, but it didn’t change how you felt when you read through them all. She had eaten, you knew because there was packaging in the bin, but obviously she’d taken the time to clean it up so you didn’t have to. You started cooking dinner, something relatively quick that you’d still enjoy, and were hoping to a degree that Maria would walk in while you were cooking. She didn’t, of course, and you plated up your food and ate alone. Just before you started to wash up, you texted Maria. Are you going to be home soon? The reply came about ten minutes later Not yet. Got a lot to finish. Although you were disappointed, it wasn’t too much of a surprise. After all, for the whole time you were together she’d been a SHIELD agent and she’d told you what to expect if it ever got this far. She’d told you that long-term never worked out with her, but you were willing to stay and hold out on it as long as you possibly could. It had worked out pretty well so far.

She was home when you woke up, only just coming into the house as you were starting to get ready. All you heard was her footsteps coming to the bedroom, then the muffled thud of her falling onto the bed. After you finished with your hair, you turned to see her lay diagonally across the bed while still fully dressed “Are you okay?” You sighed gently, going to sit beside her and slowly taking her hair from the tight ponytail she kept it in. Maria muttered incoherently and interrupted herself with a sweet sigh when you stroked through her hair to neaten it out as much as possible. She hummed happily and turned to look at you through half-lidded and very sleepy eyes, smiling up at you. You chuckled softly at how cute she looked, stroking through her hair again. She didn’t say a word, just tugged you down by the hem of your shirt and kissed you lazily. You indulged her as she pulled you to lie next to her, still kissing at the same pace. After a few seconds, you tried to move away but Maria clung to you and whined when you managed it “I have to go to work.” She pouted and you laughed gently, stroking her cheek gently “I’ve got all day tomorrow, we can spend time then.” Maria groaned. “You’ve got all day.” Your face fell, and you kissed her cheek softly. “Get your sleep, love. I’ll see you later.” Drifting off slowly, she just nodded and let you cover her with the quilt.

That day, on your lunch break after sending a few cutesy messages to Maria, you texted a number that was only meant for the direst emergencies. Thankfully, he seemed to be okay with the infraction and took very little convincing to come round to your idea. You ended that workday with a smile, and weren’t too disappointed when you fell asleep alone since you knew how you’d wake.

You woke up exactly as you’d expected, with Maria beside you and sleeping soundly. Though you wanted to curl around her and keep her close to make sure she didn’t leave, you’d had an idea the night before for what she’d wake up to. So, sliding gently out of the bed, you padded silently across the floor with the utmost care and went into the kitchen to make breakfast. It wasn’t anything too extravagant or difficult, just simple and easy, with some parts cooked and some that needed little-to-no preparation. She was awake before you were finished, but she didn’t have to wait long “Y/N?” She grumbled, hair a mess and face pale from waking up, as she wandered into the room and saw you. “Morning, love.” You smiled as you finished up the cooked portion of your breakfast. “What you doing?” “Breakfast.” The word came out much chirpier than you felt for the hour “Sit down, it won’t be long.” She did as told, as always, and rested her head on her arms as you started to plate everything up “Head up.” You said gently and put her plate down when she looked up groggily, getting the message slightly delayed and sitting up. “What’s the occasion?” She asked as you moved your chair closer to her and sat down to eat. You pouted softly in confusion, since there shouldn’t need to be an occasion. “Can’t I just make breakfast? We hardly ever get to eat together anymore.” Maria nodded softly and started to eat, a smile slowly chipping its way through as she did. You just watched her for a second or two before starting on your own breakfast.

Hardly a word was said between you, but that was to be expected since it was incredibly early. When she’d finished, before you, she rested her head on your shoulder and sighed “You’ll never guess what type of goodbye I got last night.” “You mean this morning.” She scoffed and waved her hand loosely. “Semantics. Anyway, I got a message straight from Fury himself. Came over when I was getting ready to leave.” You smiled, though she couldn’t see it. “Is that good or bad?” “Well, it’s weird. He told me that I’m taking a break today, and that I won’t be allowed in if I try.” You shrugged softly with that smile still plastered onto your face. “Maybe he thinks you’re overworked.” She scoffed again but didn’t voice the reason, instead snuggling closer to you. “Gives me a chance to finish some stuff off.” The smile was gone, replaced by a deep pout that was almost childish. “Oh no it doesn’t. If I’ve got you to myself all day, there’s only one thing you’re going to be finishing off.” She snorted, moving away from you so she could laugh properly and not at an awkward angle. “You’re dirtier than anyone thinks.” She teased as you stood, finished with your food. You shrugged at her, a sly smile on your face, and just lazily left the plate on the kitchen counter before you went back to Maria and straddled her. The chair groaned, not certain that it could hold both of you, but you ignored it so you could wrap your arms around her neck. “Can I look after you today?” You pouted, kissing her quickly. She sighed and closed her eyes as her hands came to rest on your thighs “Can I spoil you?” Another kiss and a satisfied hum from Maria “Can I indulge you?” Another kiss “Can I cater to your every need on your rare, totally unplanned, special day off?” Another kiss that lasted just a few seconds longer and Maria smiled sweetly. “If you really want to.” A grin spread across your face. “Great. First, we need to get you a bath.” Her eyes snapped open and she frowned at you as you stood and moved away. “Are you implying something?” “I’m just saying. You’ve been taking quick showers, you need to relax.” You came up behind her, gently resting your hands on her shoulders, whispering the final few words into her ear and feeling her melt at the slightest touch “I’ll get your bath ready, you just get on the couch.” You left then, to start running her bath, but not without leaving a kiss right below her ear.

The two of you weren’t usually that into the pampering thing, never had the time, but you were sure there were some half-assed Christmas and birthday gifts that neither of you had been bothered to throw away. Probably some lavender or peach smelling crap, tucked away at the back of one of the cabinets that you really should clear out one of these days. Just as you expected, there was a small box of rose and lavender scented bath salts hidden away behind a cheap bottle of shampoo so decided that was perfect. You followed the very simple instructions on the back and set out the body-wash and shampoo for her on the side of the tub. When it was done, warm and filling the room with a calming scent, you went to tell Maria that it was ready for her. She was lay on the couch, head tipped back to the ceiling, with her eyes closed, but you could tell that she was still awake “Baby.” You said sweetly and she slowly opened her eyes as she turned to look at you “Bath’s ready when you are.” She sat up, stretching, and reached out to hug you. “You’re so good to me.” “I try.” You kissed the top of her head “Take as long as you need, I’ve got to go out, get some stuff.” “Don’t be too long.” She sighed and kissed you on the lips softly before she stood and set off to the bathroom, shedding her clothes along the way. You knew she’d pick them up after she was finished, so you didn’t mind much or worry about the mess as you shrugged on a jacket and left the house.

You got lunch, something for dinner, and a few treats for the both of you. After all, she deserved something with way too much chocolate that she would whine about regretting while she ate it but would thank you for anyway. Just as you were at the checkout, your phone buzzed with a message so you checked your phone quickly as the cashier scanned everything away quickly. A sweet smile crossed your face at the almost whining tone of Maria’s Where are you? text. You shot off Almost ready, be patient before you started to pack up the shopping. “Special someone?” The cashier asked and you nodded with that same smile “And, I’m guessing it’s a special day as well.” She gestured to the food, mostly the treats. “First day off together for a while. She needs to relax.” Though their eyebrows raised slightly at ‘she’, they ultimately smiled and nodded their understanding. “I hear that.” She said with a soft sigh, rubbing her eyes softly. “Gotta treat yourself as much as you can, on your day off.” You smiled at her as you finished packing everything up “Makes all the shit worth it.”

When you got home, there was a faint incoherent noise from the living room, like talking with some backing music over it. Probably one of the boring but addictive daytime shows that always seemed to be on when nothing else was. Maria was lay on the couch, wrapped in a long towel, and was looking very unimpressed at the obviously emphasized drama that was unfolding on the screen “Hey, sweetheart.” You called out, making her look over and smile at you. “Hey, You took longer than I thought.” “Sorry, had to get a few nice things that I thought you deserve.” She frowned softly at you and crossed her arms across her chest. “Y/N.” The protests at the treats you’d got her were quickly silenced when you threw a Toblerone onto the couch beside her feet. Her jaw dropped and she smiled softly, shaking her head slightly “Okay, fine. Just a little bit, because it’s real fucking good.” And you totally believed that she wouldn’t eat it all within half an hour, definitely, which is why there were four more Toblerones in the carrier bag. You took off your shoes and jacket, dropping the jacket over the back of a chair and leaving your shoes against the wall, before you went to lounge on the other side of the couch from Maria as she nibbled at her Toblerone, wedge by wedge and slowly forgot her promise to herself of not eating the whole thing in one sitting. You had a pack of cookies to snack on as you watched the overly-saturated, overacted show with her, the drama somehow luring you in to almost care about what each bleached-blonde woman was screaming about.

During the first break, you sighed and rested your head against the couch as you looked at her “You look cute.” You said with a smile and Maria pouted, confused. “I’m wearing a towel, and my hair is still dripping wet.” She gestured to herself, and you smiled widely. “Exactly. Best outfit you’ve worn all week.” She laughed, shaking her head, and threw the empty cardboard tube at your head. It bounced off and fell to the ground with a soft thud. “You’re so rude, baby.” She shook her head and broke off another piece. “You love it though.” You shrugged nonchalantly and reached out to grab her hand, lacing your fingers. “For my sins.” Maria sighed “Anything planned for today?” “Not really. Just lunch, dinner. Could go for a walk.” She frowned and shook her head. “It’s my day off. Lazy day.” “You have a point. Trashy TV all day?” A sigh shook her and she nodded slowly as she shifted the towel to cover herself up a bit more “Come here.” You sighed as you parted your legs and patted the space between them “Let me brush your hair, it’s a mess.” Without a second of hesitation or questioning it, she turned and scooted up between your legs. A hairbrush was on the small table in front of the couch, so you reached over without moving over much and managed to eventually grab it. Just as you smoothed her hair down with your hand, a few drops of water starting to trail down her back when you did, the show started again and she got lost in it again just as easily as before. Risking the wet lap, you brushed through her hair slowly and kissed her shoulder as an apology every time you snagged a knot accidentally. “That Melissa is a bitch.” Maria muttered at once point and you just made a noise of agreement. You had no clue which one Melissa was, and most of them seemed like bitches to you anyway so you were pretty sure her idea was the truth.

Even when her hair was smooth and sleek like silk, you still brushed her hair for a minute more before you dropped the hairbrush to the floor and wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her back to hug her. She hummed happily and snuggled closer to you “Do you have any clue what’s happening here?” “Not in the slightest.” You admitted with a soft laugh “Just glad I get to watch this stuff with you.” You kissed her cheek and she laughed while playfully pushing your face away. “You’re a dork.” “Yep.” You kissed her cheek again “But you love me for it.” “God help me, I do.” She broke the final two pieces of her chocolate apart and reached over her shoulder to poke it against your lips until you opened your mouth for it, eating hers in one bite also and waiting until you’d finished it before she turned her head and kissed you properly. Knowing that it didn’t have to end any time soon, for any reason, made it seem so much better and you smiled softly before you kissed her back almost desperately. A gentle moan, more from the relief of finally having time with her like this, slipped between your lips and she smiled as she pulled away “You taste like chocolate.” She muttered, hardly a centimeter between the two of you. “No, that’s you.” You kissed her quickly “You’ve had more chocolate than me, so it’s you.” “Is there any more?” She smiled widely, like a child, and you laughed with a nod. “Of course. It’s your day off, I treated you.” “I’ll save it for later.” She sighed, surprising you with the restraint she had “Want something else first.” “Yea?” A nod “What else?” “A better show to watch.” You laughed and nodded your agreement. “Could get through our Netflix list.” Which was slowly inching closer to 150 items, since you both kept saying ‘that looks cool’ and never watching it. Mostly movies, a few obscure shows, a few things that were highly recommended but you hadn’t had the time or motivation to watch just yet. But now you had the time, so there was at least a slight reason to try.

An hour later, and a few more things added to the list that you weren’t in the mood for at that moment, you were still looking. Each thing got skipped over with ‘boring’ or ‘nope’ or face pulling, other than the things you’d already seen. After a few more minutes, you gave up and sighed, resting your head against hers “Grace and Frankie again?” You asked after whining incoherently for a second or two. “Yea.” Maria said, reaching for the remote in your hand. She threw it to your feet and then snuggled back into your arms as the show started up again, from the very start. At this point, you were sure the two of you could act it out on your own. Not that, at this point, you’d try. It was a lazy day after all. You did catch Maria muttering her favourite lines a few times, and couldn’t help yourself from carrying on the quote conversation for a few seconds until one of you broke and laughed. The only time you moved was because your legs were getting numb so you gently pushed her away so the two of you ended up sat at opposite sides of the couch to quote at each other.

Around halfway through the rewatch of season 1, you heard her stomach growling and she seemed almost shocked herself to hear it. When your eyes met, you both laughed softly “So, I guess that’s lunch time then?” “Guess so.” She reached out to you as you stood up, a frown slowly etching across her face “Baby, no, you don’t have to...I’ll do it, you made breakfast.” You shook your head softly and went to the kitchen anyway. “It’s fine. I want to. Looking after you today.” “I’m not sick.” “But I’ve got you all to myself. Therefore, I’m going to pamper you like you are sick.” You heard her tut and sigh, but you still went to making lunch. It was just something light to tide you over until you made dinner, didn’t take too long before you hopped onto the couch again and handed Maria the food. You tucked your legs under yourself and tried to yet again get comfortably sat  “Why are you so instant on doing everything for me today?” Maria sighed, resting her head against the back of the couch as she looked at you. “It’s your day off.” You shrugged. “And yours.” You dismissed it with a soft wave of your hand as you started to eat, casting your gaze away to the TV again “I’m making dinner though.”  A smile went across your face. “Yea, sure.” You shook your head and Maria frowned childishly. “I am.” “Okay, love.” You leaned over to kiss her cheek with a grin “Eat up.” After a second, of just pouting at you, she gave in and started to eat.

As the next episode ended and Netflix decided to recommend you a new show, you turned to look at Maria since she hadn’t instantly skipped it as she had the past few times. A frown chiselled itself against your lips at the sight of her rolling her neck and wincing “Baby, what’s wrong?” Maria looked at you instantly with a soft smile and shook her head. “Nothing, it’s fine.” She skipped the trailer for some other sitcom, you hadn’t really been paying attention, but you didn’t let up that worried frown. “Maria.” She sighed and looked at you wordlessly, but you won the staring contest and she averted her gaze. “It’s really nothing, my neck just aches a bit.” After a second, you nudged her with your foot to get her attention again. “Get up.” You said, standing yourself and reaching for the remote to turn the TV off. “Why?” Maria frowned gently as the room was suddenly pushed into silence, the episode being cut off halfway through a sentence. “Because I said. C’mon, bedroom.” She sighed but still stood and started to follow after you until you went towards the kitchen, when she pouted and her brows furrowed slightly. You gestured for her to go ahead of you as you went shifting through the bag that you’d left in the kitchen. You’d planned to relax her like this anyway, after dinner, but since you had an excuse to do it now…

[unmanageable-day]

Merry Go Round (pt.2)

On one Sunday in the autumn, Minhyun unusually took the first move to ask Yesoo hangout. It was nothing fancy, just a casual lunch date and walking around Itaewon without much words between them. Since Yesoo didn't take Minhyun's hand, and it seemed like holding Yesoo's hand never slipped his mind, Yesoo tended to walk behind him. And once again, no one really knew if Minhyun at least realized that Yesoo was not beside him when walking.

The last stop was gelato cafe. Minhyun ordered Yesoo's favorite yogurt and strawberry sorbet for her and got himself vanilla milkshake. They sat at a corner with a window and street view.

"Yesoo, do you remember when I said there is something I want to say?"

"Yes, what is it?"

"First of all, please forgive me for everything, and for this too."

Okay. Yesoo braced herself. Here it comes.

"Yesoo, I don't think I can continue this relationship anymore," he briefly said. Then he started stuttering. "It's just.. I.. you know..."

"Okay," she calmly responded, cutting off his stuttering. "It's fine. You don't have to give any reason."

"But, I..."

"No, really. I understand."

"What? You do? How?"

She shrugged. "I just do."

The two of them remained silent, seemingly trying to find the right words. As for Yesoo, she also tried hard to hold her tears from falling. Minhyun, as usual, maintained his flat face.

"Anyway, thank you for everything. I really appreciate your time spent with me." Yesoo started to talk quickly and a bit mumbly when she got nervous. "I don't even know why I confessed to you. Maybe I was crazy back then. I didn't even expect an answer. But, well, look at us." Eventually a drop of tears successfully fell.

Minhyun noticed that. Yet he did nothing. All he said was sorry and handed her a tissue he got from the cashier, which she refused to take.

Yesoo wiped her eyes with her hand. "No need to be sorry. It's not your fault." Her voice sounded trembling. "Maybe this relationship is a mistake. And it's nobody's fault. We just met at the wrong time, and I'm not the right one for you and so are you."

Minhyun sat still. He couldn't think of anything.

"So, this is it, yeah? Thank you, Minhyun, for spending your time and bearing with me for the last 2 years. It's been a lovely merry go round with you."

"Thank you, too, for bearing with me," he slowly said.

"Likewise." She got up from her seat, which made Minhyun look puzzled.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Yes, I'll get going first. It's embarrassing that you looked at me like this." Her voice sounded unstable, yet still managed to smile and let a little chuckle.

"Let me take you home." He also got up.

"Thank you, but no, thank you. If you do, it just makes it harder for me." She faked a smile after her eyes got all teary. "See you when I see you, Hwang Minhyun."

After that, only the clicking sound from Yesoo's shoes was heard. Bit by bit, the clicking sound was leaving further and further, until it didn't leave any trace.

Minhyun sat down again. His eyes stared at nothing. He surprised himself that it just happened quicker than he thought. He expected a long talk instead of approval 3 seconds after he spilled it. It's okay, you did right, Minhyun, he convinced himself.

 Yesoo wished her eyes didn't get puffy after letting her tears out by binge-watching tear-jerker movies she rented at a movie cafe. That was a silly wish, she knew it. She had finished watching Hachiko, Cell No.7, and she was about to continue to watch Along with the Gods. She found her cheeks wet by her running tears and she didn't need a mirror to find out her eye make-up was already a mess. She regretted wearing non-water proof mascara.

Yesoo didn't even want to cry in the first place. In fact, she couldn't cry her heart out. How she wished she could bawl out loud until her eyes dried out. It was just she couldn't, even though her heart felt congested so bad. That was why she needed those tear-jerker movies to help her relieve everything she felt.

The cafe waiter suddenly knocked her rented room to tell that her time was running out in 15 minutes. She raised her head to see the clock that showed it was already 8 PM. She quickly fixed her messy face - wiping off her eye makeup and patting some lipstick on her cheeks, tied her hair into a bun, and paid the bill before leaving the place. She probably looked drunk - or sick - although not even one drop of alcohol went into her mouth.

While wandering around on her way to get home, of course she had to bump into Hui. Thank goodness it was just Hui.

"Hey, where are you going and what's with your face?"

"It's nothing," she said, shaking her head twice. "I'm going home. You?"

"No particular destination." Hui took his time glancing at his old friend. "Do you need someone to talk with?'

Yesoo shook her head again. "I'm good."

"I'll walk you home?" Hui had predicted her answer, so he quickly continued before she opened her mouth. "Come on. I don't take no as an answer."

Being a gentleman, he offered his arm to Yesoo who gladly took the offer. She let her arm linked to Hui's. That was actually the first time they had such a physical contact even after being friends since junior high school. Although it was the first time, nothing felt awkward. Instead, she found it warm. Or probably the cashmere coat that Hui wore was what makes it feel warm.

 ~~~

 5 months later

 Hwang Minhyun woke up to his normal Saturday morning; quiet. He checked the clock only to find out he was 2 hour earlier than his alarm which was supposed to ring at 7 AM. It had been a non-stop episode of him having difficulty sleeping at night. He always woke up in the middle of the night every one or two hours. It was all because a dream he had. It was not a sweet dream, not a nightmare either. It was a dream but it felt so lucid to him. He rubbed his eyes before finally decided to get up and do some exercise. Perhaps an early morning jog could help him figure out why Yesoo kept appearing in his dream.

Right. Yesoo. It had been a week since he started to have a series of dream that involved Yesoo. He didn't hate it, nor like it. Disturbing? Not really. He found it more like confusing. This dream was like a flashback of his journey with Yesoo from the very first day. It pictured a pair of happy lovebirds with genuine smile to each other. He smiled at that picture. It kept going on for days. Until the smile faded away slowly, until it was gone completely. He started to feel something must be wrong.

What he noticed in his dreams – and what he thought it was one of the causes why he was feeling strange – was how Yesoo at first always held his hand tightly that slowly she loosened up, until she gave it up and let it go. Minhyun had to admit that he was upset to see that scene. But he couldn't unsee that. The dream that felt so real kept going on, and finally it showed how Yesoo slowly decelerated her walking pace. 5 seconds ago she was still by his side, 5 seconds later she walked behind him, and eventually she just stopped walking. Minhyun felt like roaring at his own self who didn't even look around to see Yesoo was not there anymore. But he couldn't. No matter how much he wanted to open his mouth, even just a little.

I was like that? He laughed at himself. Right, I was like that.

Sometimes he thought to himself, why did he say yes in the first place? So what if Yesoo was the first girl ever confessed to him? Did he like her too? Or maybe he was feeling thankful to her?

Frankly all Minhyun knew about Yesoo was that she was from College of Design, where the building campus was the closest to his Theater and Film Department. Until one day she showed up to confess to him.

If it wasn't Jung Yesoo, would he still say yes?

 In the middle of working hour, Minhyun found himself staring at one particular contact in his phone; Jung Yesoo. He remembered the last time he called and texted her, the profile picture was herself in a mountain that was taken in autumn last year. He remembered it because he was the one who took that photo. Now it was changed into abstract, random doodles.

Minhyun was too absorbed in his own thoughts that he didn't realize Jisoo was standing behind him. "Is that Yesoo? She draws that? She's good," Jisoo loudly said, which of course startled Minhyun.

Minhyun immediately locked his phone while chuckling awkwardly. He didn't answer Jisoo.

"How is she doing? It's been a while," Jisoo asked.

It was hard for Minhyun to not get flustered. Luckily his stone face sometimes helped him at a time like this. He only said a short yes.

Jisoo shrugged before leaving him alone. He noticed something wrong with Minhyun. But he wouldn't push him any further since he knew how Minhyun was never open about his feelings. "Don't forget to have lunch!" Jisoo half shouted at him.

It had been days that he didn't eat well. It was either skipping meal, or eating too much unhealthy food, or eating too less food. The clock showed lunch time. He didn't feel like eating, but his stomach was growling. With heavy steps, he dragged himself to the restaurant across the office.

His feet stopped when his eyes recognized a short haired girl that looked unfamiliarly familiar at the cashier. He wished his eyes were deceiving him, but he knew his heart wished it was her. His feet felt heavier as he approached her and he still went for it regardless.

"Yesoo?" he called.

The girl turned her head as she flipped her hair. "Minhyun," she greeted back with a beam, and clearly sounded surprised.

They ended up sitting together, face to face. Yesoo maintained her smile, which wasn't as wide and genuine as he could remember. "It's been a while," Yesoo started the conversation.

"Yeah." Minhyun was loss at words for a second. "You got your hair cut."

Yesoo automatically stroke her own hair. "As you see," she said, sipping her hot latte.

"Are you meeting your client around here?"

"No," she spoke with low voice. There was this hesitant feeling when she talked. "I'm meeting someone else."

Minhyun stunned for a moment. "Someone?"

She nodded.

Still stunned, Minhyun's gaze eventually landed on her hands which were holding on her glass tightly. He unconsciously glared at her finger with a ring on it. As long as he knew Yesoo, she never wore any jewelry or accessories on her hands. And now, a ring?

"Anyway, how are you doing?" Minhyun changed the topic because he had a bad feeling lingering in his head.

"I'm good. How about you?"

"I'm okay as well." He faked a smile. No, I don't think I'm perfectly okay. "Look. About us..."

Yesoo's smile faded once she heard the word us. And before Minhyun continued speaking, her phone rang just on time and she excused herself to pick up her phone.

"I'm sorry, but I gotta go now."

Minhyun was flustered, particularly thinking that he hadn’t finished talking. Yet to make her stay there wasn’t a wise option as well. He just had to send her off. "Oh, okay. Be careful on your way."

She hurriedly left the restaurant, leaving Minhyun whose eyes followed her until she walked out of there. And that was when he caught someone else was already waiting for her outside.

Lee Hwitaek.

He could see Hui's genuine happy smile when Yesoo came to him. He could see Hui immediately took her hand before really leaving the cafe area. Am I dreaming? he thought to himself.

He wished it was a dream. In his dream lately he saw someone else offered his hands to Yesoo who already let go of Minhyun's. He couldn't clearly see the face. All he knew that in his dream she without doubt accepted the offer and firmly gripped onto the hands reaching to her.

Minhyun sat still and stared at nothing, leaving his hot chamomile tea remained full. He even ignored numerous missed calls; 10 from Jisoo, 3 from Raina, and 2 from Seonho. And now his phone was ringing again. Minhyun didn't even bother to look at his phone.

"Oh, Minhyun hyung is here." One of the callers happened to find him and approached him.

"Oh, Seonho, Guanlin, you're here," Minhyun weakly said.

"Raina noona is looking for you."

Minhyun stayed silent, making the two younger boys confused. Both Seonho and Guanlin quietly looked at each other while guessing what happened to their senior.

"Seonho and Guanlin, you know Lee Hwitaek?"

"Hui hyung? Yes, we do."

"Hwitaek.. what kind of person is he?"

"He's nice, kind, and very friendly. He works very hard to make a good music."

"Ah, really?"

"Does he... have a girlfriend?" Minhyun didn't even know why he asked that. Maybe he was slowly losing his consciousness.

"He just got married a couple months ago," Seonho answered, a little bit excitedly. "It was quite shocking because he barely had no life other than writing lyrics and producing songs. No one ever knew he had a girlfriend."

"I envy him. He's married to his best friend," Guanlin added, showing his gummy smile.

Married? Minhyun smirked, slightly chuckling in disbelief. To his best friend?

 ~~~

 Congratulations, you’re so amazing Congratulations, how could you be so fine? How could you trample on me? I see your smiling face, I guess you forgot everything How is he? Is he better than me? Did he erase all your memories about me?

 Minhyun abruptly pressed the next button to change the song. He wished he could sing along to that song. The lyric was good, yet it didn’t seem to support his condition right now. It was more like being made fun out of it.

Minhyun took his phone. Without thinking he lurked on social media, searching for anything. Until a crazy idea crossed his mind. His fingers slowly typed ‘Jung Yesoo’. He stared at her profile picture when she still had her long hair for a pretty long time. Minhyun smiled at himself. She looks good with short hair, he thought. His thumb scrolled up and down to find out that Yesoo had been inactive on her social media. Her last update was seemingly a candid photo of herself with her new hair that was taken 3 months ago. And if he remembered precisely, it was one day after he broke up with her. The caption written was ‘Taken by Lee H.T’. For one second, it made him furious. Recalling now that he was nothing to her, he just got quiet.

Another crazy idea slipped his mind. Now he was searching for Lee Hwitaek. He wished there was another Hwang Minhyun with a better brain to scold and mock him for being stupid right now. His heart couldn’t take it after looking at Hui’s feeds that was full of 3 things: Yesoo; Hui and Yesoo; Hui and Yesoo showing affection and physical contacts, mostly hugs. Don’t forget the lovey-dovey and sometimes cheesy captions, that Minhyun guessed it must be Hui.

 Minhyun had never felt so weak as if his energy was all drained. He wondered how Yesoo was doing right after they broke up. Was she okay? Was she like this too? Was she not feeling anything that she just got married in 3 months after breaking up? If this overthinking kept going on, his head might explode. He was thinking about taking a day off but Raina as his supervisor would kill him for not showing up since they were working on a project that Minhyun himself initiated.

Minhyun dragged his feet to the lift and was about to close the door when someone screamed to hold the lift. He hurriedly pressed the open button and found Hui entering the lift. Now there were just two of them. He was aware that sooner or later he would meet Hui. But not this soon. "Congratulation on your marriage," Minhyun said with expressionless face.

"Thank you." Hui drew a little smile, and added, "Wait, I think I should be the one who thank you."

Minhyun didn't answer although he didn't understand what it meant.

"Thank you, Hwang Minhyun, for breaking up with Yesoo."

Minhyun's ears felt hot instantly. He tightened his hidden fist inside his coat pocket.

"If I didn't see her swollen eyes after crying her eyes out that night, I wouldn't have the courage to make up my mind and propose to her."

Yesoo... cried? A lot?

 Regret always comes late, they say. Minhyun often told himself to regret nothing. Yet now he regretted that it took a very long time to realize how comforting it was when he had Yesoo’s hand in his. How good it was to have Yesoo taking care of him. How relaxing it was when they spent time together even in complete silence. And now he couldn’t have all that anymore.

 Full version is available on AFF under the username joyful_joy :

https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1353993/merry-go-round-vs-roller-coaster-angst-romance-nuest-minhyun-hui-pentagon-wannaone

Feel free to stop by there!

Cheers~

[theepitomeofamess]

It Takes Two pt.8

*shuffles in, disheveled, skin and clothes smudges with dirt and blood, designer bags under my eyes* *slides this across table to you* I’m sorry this took so long. Had some... uh... issues. I hope it’s to your liking. *nervous laughter*

high school au, theater au, Logince, Moxiety, 3378 words

Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

“He’s finally asleep,” Virgil muttered, closing the door to his bedroom behind him. “I think.”

“Maybe if I tell Roman that, he’ll finally do what I say and go to sleep.” Patton unlocked his phone to text Roman the update. The clock read 2:38. Roman had insisted on going home since his parents were waiting, but he hadn’t stopped texting Patton for updates on Logan since he got back to his house. Every two minutes that Patton went without saying something, he was bombarded by vibrations in his pocket asking “how’s he doing? Is he okay? Is he asleep yet? Has he eaten? Is he drinking enough water?”

“He won’t, but it’s a nice thought.” Virgil climbed on the bed next to Patton. Corbin and Sloane were used to Patton staying over at that point, and Patton’s parents didn’t mind after having lived alongside Corbin and Sloane for so long. “This is a disaster.”

“It’ll be okay. It always is.” Patton put an arm around Virgil, pulling him closer as he continued to text basically the same thing to Roman with his one free hand. Both of their voices were deeper than usual, rougher and made more monotone by exhaustion. They’d run themselves ragged, taking charge of everybody in the theater even before Logan’s fiasco, but they didn’t mind. It’s their niche.

The parents. People called them that to tease them. Patton took on the mantel with pride while Virgil ignored the all too accurate assessment. They parented everyone they could, anyone who would let them. They parented Logan more than anyone, mainly because he needed them to.

“He said that they never hit him,” Virgil growled. “He said that they were never around to. He said that most times he would walk in the front door and they didn’t even seem to process his existence.”

“Most times,” Patton repeated back to him.

“The fact is he more or less lied to me. He told me about it when we were talking about signs of lying for a class last year. Lies of omission, where you just don’t say anything. As long as people don’t pry, your lie is maintained. A lie of omission is still a damn lie, though. I just-”

“Honey,” Patton hummed, reaching up to pet and scratch gently at the back of Virgil’s head. Virgil closed his eyes, sighing at the relaxation that came with the gesture. “It’s going to be okay. Logan’s always been the type to tell lies of omission. We all have chapters of our lives we’d rather keep unpublished. We just need to persuade him that he can trust us enough to share a little bit more of it with us.”

“If he doesn’t trust me yet, I don’t think he ever will.” Virgil’s words growled in his chest, worry and resentment blending into a swirl of grey. “And don’t even try to act like you don’t have the same issue. Lies of omission are pretty popular with people I know, huh?” Patton looked to Virgil, smiling.

“You helped me, though,” he leaned up to plant a peck on Virgil’s lips, “just like we’re gonna help him. Okay?”

“I don’t know,” Virgil spoke through Patton’s kisses. “You only started being honest with me once we were months into our relationship. We were committed at that point, in a way that Logan really hasn’t ever been with anyone. I mean, we know that he and Roman are absolutely head-over-heels for each other, it’s just a matter of getting the two of them open about it.”

“Well, they’re a bit open about it. They did kiss each other good luck before the show tonight.”

“That’s not enough. Roman’s too worried about making Logan uncomfortable and Logan’s too proud to admit anything.”

“Then maybe we’ll just have to help them along.” Pressing his lips into Virgil’s hair, Patton smiled at Virgil’s disgruntled hum. “For now, we should get some sleep.”

“Sleep?” A smirk tugged at Virgil’s lips as Patton tried to adjust himself so he was spooning Virgil. “Who’s she? Never heard of her.” Tightening his grip on Virgil, Patton smiled at Virgil’s chuckle.

“Sleep is that thing where you have an open relationship with death and temporarily get to experience what it’s like to not exist. I would’ve thought you’d know her well.”

Virgil didn’t mean to snort, that’s just what happens when Patton does or says something that hits just the right chord with him. Flipping over to face Patton, Virgil found him a giggling mess, an occurrence that always happens when Virgil snorts or smiles. Holding the back of Patton’s head, Virgil pressed a kiss to his lips, allowing himself to melt into Patton’s still giggling embrace.

They fell asleep like that. Warm and laughing and a tangled mess of limbs in an attempt to get as close to each other as possible. Patton fell out after Virgil, taking any opportunity he could to watch him sleep. It was one of the few times that his expression was completely relaxed, and when he was fully relaxed, a ghost of a smile graced his features. The expression might be rare, but for Patton, it’s always worth the wait to see.

The next two days went by all too quickly for Roman. Classes blurred into doodles and chicken scratch letters to no one where notes should have been, the grey blur only ever accented by icy blue punching him from the inside out when he saw Logan.

He, Patton, and Virgil all kept the conversation as casual as possible, refusing to acknowledge what had happened. Logan’s lips smiled. The rest of him barely lived. He was being held together by a single unravelling thread. He’d drawn stitches on where his soul was coming apart, convincing the world and himself that he was just fine.

Roman knew better. He knew that Patton and Virgil knew better, but that they wouldn’t do anything about it. Unfortunately, he also knew that trying to offer Logan help would only send him running further away. He hated having this knowledge, having tried to talk to Logan a half dozen times only for his brain to turn his throat to linen in order to keep him quiet and Logan close.

The last two performances went far too fast as well. Before he knew it, Roman was taking his final bow as the baker. All of the performances were fresh in his mind, he could go back and watch any of them in his mind, and yet he couldn’t remember any of them. He remembered when Cinderella and Little Red - both seniors - teared up while singing “No One Is Alone” but he couldn’t remember how the song sounded or a voice coming from his throat as he sang. He could remember the way the witch walked with slightly heavier steps this time, reluctant to allow the season to end, but he couldn’t remembered who missed their cues or screwed up their lines. He would always remember that Sam had clammy hands and streaming tears when she took his hand in hers for curtain call.

As he straightened from his final bow, Roman found himself in Remy’s house at the cast party, a red solo cup emptied of its cocktail and refilled with Coke in one hand and one of Remy’s slutty brownies in the other. He’s laughing at something Patton said, he can’t remember what exactly it was. He doesn’t remember driving there, even though he’s the only one that could have, being the only one with a car at his disposal. Music blasts his ears to the point of making his entire head throb, preventing him from hearing his own thoughts. If nothing else, he’s comfortable with Patton close to him.

“Either way,” Patton half shouts over the music, “I really think that you should go for it. Maybe ease him in, don’t start with the sweeping romantic gestures, but you’re definitely gonna need to make the first move. He won’t.” Roman doesn’t need the context he doesn’t remember to know what Patton’s talking about.

“You don’t know how he’ll react. Not for sure.” Taking a sip of his Coke, Roman shoots a half smile at Patton’s frown. “You’re making assumptions, Pat. You know what they say; never assume. It makes an ass out of you and me.”

“Language, kiddo.”

“Patton, you curse more than anybody else I know. You have no room to talk.”

“That’s bullsh-” Patton cut himself off. “That’s not true.”

Laughing at Patton’s response, Roman looked around the room. People danced around everywhere, laughing and reeking of fruity alcohol and overly sweet snacks and sweat. In the low light with music pounding, it’s hard to see the difference between having fun and a hot mess. On the other hand, it’s easy to see a sober person in a crowd of drunken dancing.

That’s probably how Virgil and Roman managed to lock eyes.

Eyes wide, Virgil motioned for Roman to go over to him. Obeying what looked to be a frantic command with Patton close behind, Roman watched as Virgil raised his hand, motioning in what Roman recognized as ASL from the class they’d taken together last semester. The shapes spelled “Logan.”

“Where is he?” Roman watched Virgil’s hands, knowing that between the pounding music and panic in his eyes, he wasn’t about to start talking. His hands were moving too fast and shaking the signs into sloppiness that Roman couldn’t understand. “Woah, woah, slow down. Breathe.” Raising his hands slowly, Virgil inhaled with Roman. He exhaled, closing his eyes and signing slower.

“He got a drink from Remy, I don’t know what was in it or where he is. I don’t trust Remy to give him anything non-alcoholic. Have you see him?” Roman sighed to himself, knowing that Virgil probably had a good reason to panic at that. Nobody knew what Remy put in his drinks, just that it’s a lot of liquor masked by different fruit flavors. If Logan drank a cup of that, he was probably completely wasted already.

“Okay,” Roman reasoned, “it’ll be okay. We’ll fan out, we’ll find him. I’ll try to reach him on his cell, we’ll find him. I’ll go upstairs, Patton, you and Virgil stay down here. If you can’t find him in the house, go look outside, okay? Text me if you find him, yeah?” Patton nodded, pressing himself closer to Virgil. He was going to stay close to him no matter what, especially considering his panic. Roman set down his Coke, moving through the crowd to start up the stairs.

“Roman!” He was barely up the stairs when Remy called to him from the top of the flight. “Thank god you’re-”

“Where’s Logan? What did you give him?” Remy groaned at Roman’s accusatory tone.

“He’s up in my bedroom. I gave him a half a cup of the punch to help calm his nerves, and the next thing I knew he was chugging it like he needed it to live. I was just about to come find you guys, you should take him home.” Roman froze, eyes narrowed. He hadn’t suspected anything malicious from Remy, he was mischievous but never wanted to do anyone harm. Still, something in Roman held him back from fully trusting him. Maybe it was Remy’s habit of wearing sunglasses inside at midnight.

Following Remy to where he said Logan was, Roman texted Virgil and Patton that he’d found him. He was relieved to find Logan sitting at the foot of Remy’s bed, nose buried in a textbook he’d found. A cup of water sat on the nightstand, untouched. Logan didn’t look up when the door opened. He was too focused on whatever he was reading.

“Logan,” Remy tried at getting his attention, “I’ve got your boyfriend here. He’s gonna take you home.”

“Remy, we’re not-” Roman was cut off by a loud groan. Looking back to Logan, he found him folded at the waist, arms limp at his sides and nose pressed into the fore edge of the textbook.

“You good, bud,” Remy asked, stepping aside when Roman crossed to Logan.

“Nooo…” Logan moaned into the book before straightening himself out. His glasses sat crooked on his nose and his lips curved into something between a smile and a sneer. “Imma be sick. An’ I’m happy ‘bout it.” Out of nowhere, he hiccupped loudly, hand flying to cover his mouth. Sighing the air out, Logan turned to Roman, pressing a finger into his chest. “An’ it’s all your fault.” A slight giggle shook him as he pressed his forehead into Roman’s shoulder, his hand falling limp to land by Roman’s hip.

“Okay, come on, Lo,” Roman tried to reason, pressing his hand into Logan’s back. “We’ve gotta take you home, okay?”

“But I’m already home.” Logan pressed himself closer to Roman, almost to the point of curling into Roman’s lap. Roman prayed that Logan couldn’t feel his heart pounding out of his chest, the heat rising in his cheeks.

Roman swallowed hard, looking from the mussed top of Logan’s head to Remy, who seemed to be holding back laughter. He’d only just frowned at Remy’s reaction when Virgil and Patton pushed themselves into the room.

“Logan! Are you okay? We’ve been worried sick!” Logan could only manage a hum in response to Patton’s exclamation. Virgil stood back, allowing himself to relax back into the proper rhythm of breathing. “How many did he have?”

“I don’t know,” Remy shrugged. Roman just barely heard the mumble in his shoulder, the one that sounded more like the reindeer from Frozen than anything.

“Seven,” he relayed the number to the others.

“Seven?!”

Patton and Remy looked to each other, not used to shouting things in disbelief at the same time. Virgil pulled at his hair, threatening to tear it out with worry.

“Okay, c’mon, Lo,” Roman pulled Logan’s arm around his shoulders, holding him around the waist to act as a support to help him walk. He’d barely gotten the two of them to their feet when Logan pushed him away.

“Who said I can’t walk,” he slurred, attempting a step forward. Stumbling to the side, Roman caught him around the waist, narrowly missing the arms that Logan through out to regain his balance. Looking back to Roman as he straightened the two of them back up, Logan chuckled. “I’d be able to walk a lot bet’r if the room wasn’ spin’.”

“It’s okay,” Roman reasoned, trying and failing to not smile. “I’m spinning with the room, so stick close and it’ll be easier to walk. Trust me.”

“No’ usu’lly goo’ atha’.” Roman shook his head, wondering how much longer it would take for Logan’s slurs to become completely incomprehensible.

“Logan,” Patton chimed gently, “pronounce your consonants, kiddo.”

“Buh, cuh, duh, fuh, guh, huh-”

“In your sentences, Logan.” Somewhere behind them, Virgil and Remy both snickered at Logan’s drunken response.

“O-Kay, PaTT-oN.” The over pronunciation earned another snicker and a soft smile from Roman.

Moving slowly, Roman felt Logan leaning more and more of his weight into him as they walked. Patton shuffled in front of them, trying to clear a path to the front door so it would be easier to get to Roman’s car. It mostly worked, but every now and then they would get jostled by a drunk cast member or a pair of people chewing at each other’s lips, unable to see where they’re going and apathetic of who they bulldoze.

Roman managed to get Logan in the back seat with Virgil so he could drive, but his reluctance was obvious. He didn’t sit close to Virgil like he usually would, didn’t take his hand in a search for stability. Virgil kept a close eye on him, concern layered with what almost looked like hurt.

When they got to Virgil’s house, Logan refused to get out. Virgil tried to coax him out, but Logan ended up throwing his arms around Roman and his seat, insisting that he wanted to stay. Roman promised Virgil that it was okay, that he would take care of him. In spite of the obvious distrust stemming from always having to take care of things himself, Virgil nodded, shooting Roman a warning look as he and Patton made their way up to his house.

Roman half carried Logan up to his room when they got back to his house. He wasn’t worried about his parents - he’d warned them that he’d be home late, and they trusted him enough that they were already asleep. Sitting Logan on his bed, Roman started going through his drawer for fresh pajamas for Logan to borrow. He went ahead and tossed a pair of blue flannel pants to Logan, keeping his back turned as he changed

“If you’re okay with it, you can share my bed. Otherwise, one of us can sleep on the couch downstairs. Whatever you like.”

“Share the bed, huh? I knew you were forward, Ro, but I didn’t expect you to be that forward.” The clarity in Logan’s words unsettled Roman.

“Lo, I’m not-” Whatever Roman was going to say got caught in his throat by the sight of Logan tossing his shirt aside. His cheeks looked even rosier in comparison with the rest of his skin. “Uh… here, here’s, um…” Roman shoved the white t-shirt at Logan, trying to ignore the sly smirk that had formed on his lips. Taking the shirt from Roman, Logan looked up at him, smirk softening into a smile.

“You’re so good,” he barely breathed the words before dropping the shirt and cupping Roman’s face in his hands, surging up to plant a kiss on his lips. Roman melted into it before he knew what he was doing, tangling his fingers in Logan’s hair, relishing the taste of cranberries on Logan’s breath until he recognized the undertones of vodka.

“Woah, no,” Roman pushed Logan away, holding him by the shoulders at arm’s length. “Bad, very bad, this is not-” Pulling at his hair, Roman crossed the room to sit on the foot of his bed. Elbows on his knees, head in his hands, Roman swallowed hard against every wish that he would have - could have kept going.

“Sorry, still don’t have much kissing experience,” Logan apologized.

“That’s not the problem, Lo,” Roman corrected, looking up to see Logan with his hands on his hips. “It’s bad because you’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing, you probably won’t remember this tomorrow morning.”

“That’s the idea,” Logan knelt in front of him, looking up hopefully. “One minor mistake, one moment without pride or inhibitions or anything else standing in the way.” As he talked, Logan picked himself up, taking Roman’s face in his hands again and sitting in his lap. Roman refused to meet his eyes, leaning forward to press his forehead against his chest.

“You should’ve gone home with Virgil.”

“Didn’t I tell you earlier,” Logan coaxed Roman to look up at him. Pressing his forehead to Roman’s, Logan pecked his lips softly. “I’m already home.” Before Roman could respond, Logan’s lips were back on his. They moved gently, fluidly against each other. Everything about it was soft and warm. Roman could feel a neediness in Logan’s movements, especially since every time he tried to pull away, Logan chased after him. Eventually, Roman managed to catch Logan in a hug, holding him so he couldn’t move.

“Logan, stop. It’s not gonna happen. Believe me, I wish I could, but it’s not right. I’m not going to take advantage of you. If at any point you’re sober and want to…” Trailing off, Roman looked down to see Logan passed out on top of him, glasses squished into his face. Smiling to himself, Roman laid the glasses on his nightstand and slid himself out from under Logan. He didn’t stir at all as Roman moved him to rest his head on the pile of pillows and tucked him under his pile of blankets. Roman wished that he thought he could stay, but he knew that Logan would much rather wake up alone than next to Roman. If nothing else, it would save him some amount of embarrassment or shame.

Knowing that much made sleeping on the couch worth it in Roman’s eyes.

Tag List:

@individual-charlie @ab-artist @fandoms-n-ship @iamtrashcans @jazzyb11 @lucifer-in-my-head @romanssippycup @pendragonqueen09 @margarethx @angst-patton @nienna14 @mirror2thespirit @smokeyrutilequartz @yourhappypappypatton @lifebyquinn