#The bats are just as stressed as Dan at this point

[somnoir]

Gotham's newest Crime Lord - part 2

Part 1 | Masterpost

Wraith wrecked havoc like no other.

He was loved and hated by the masses. Defended by Gotham regardless of what they felt of him. A figure in the underworld that hunted down those who moved to harm one of their kin and executed anyone who laid their hands in the weak—children.

The first explosion had been explained by the scattering papers and the anonymous posts of an organization who went after children with malicious intent. Blatant evidence that had people rallying to the GCPD to demand for justice. It was glorious and horrific—especially once they found out that it was Wraith who tossed the Joker into the harbor.

The Bats, by all means, attempt to find him. Figure him out, at least. But the man was a mystery. It was worse considering the majority of Gotham were eagerly telling the Bats to fuck off whenever they tried to hunt down Wraith. The only thing they ever got out of him was that his second in command—Phantom—was the nicer one between them. If you wanted civil negotiations, try and look for Phantom instead.

As much as they wanted to go directly to Wraith, this was their best shot. Their only shot.

"Had any luck finding Phantom?" Dick's hand rested on Tim's shoulder, trying to support his clearly tired brother. Tim was a little to determined, kinda desperate to find this guy.

"Nothing. Their names are trigger words." Tim clicked his tongue, "It's fucking up the system. Remember Ghostmaker's ghostnet? Any attempts makes you want to shut off your systems because of how encrypted they could get."

"Searching up their names gave the Batcomputer a virus?!" Steph gawked, leaning over Tim and staring at the computer. They could all tell he was wary, trying not to type in certain words to keep the damn tech sage from that mania.

"Wraith and Phantom are either metas with technology altering powers..." Barbara hums, "Or they have someone else doing this. Imagine them having their own version of the calculator... But worse and more annoying."

"So our new crime lord has a hacker... That has given the Batcomputer a virus." Dick slowly said, "And is still operating without us finding out."

"Hood and Robin are out trying to find Phantom." Barbara points to the two dots hurriedly moving through crime alley. "Hopefully they find him."

"Any news on Wraith?"

"His latest stint involved tearing down one of Black Mask's operations. Several bodies were found in the harbor."

"Why the harbor?"

"It's his MO, I think. It's always the harbor where he dumps the bodies."

Tim frowns, "Like it's his trash can.... For bodies."

"Hasn't the harbor always been the body trash can of Gotham?" Steph sighs, before turning away to stare at Cass who was training in the simulators again.

Dick glared at her for the comment but once again looked back to the screen.

"Hopefully they find Phantom soon... before Wraith drops more bodies."

Phantom was the nicer of the two—claimes by many people who told them Wraith was a little on the quieter side. No one truly knew but he was quieter than a lot of them.

Crime Alley was Red Hood's territory, everyone knew that. But apparently, Wraith has been operating in the same area from time to time. Mainly to return kids to the alley (freshly claimed by that flaiming white symbol). But Wraith did so quietly. They checked in from time to time to see if the kids were alright.

To be specific...

Phantom came to visit to see if the children they had returned and claimed were safe. Often coming with resources that he mainly reserved for the kids.

"Found him." Jason muttered, voice distorted through the modulator as he narrowed his eyes at the young man dressed in monochrome colors. His binoculars zeroed on the young man with white (seriously??) boots and gloves. The rest of his outfit was black, with a jacket still in monochrome colors. Jason frowned at the hood that covered his head.

"Let's go, Hood. Nightwing and father wants—"

"Stay out of it, Robin." Hood instantly growled. Jason has never felt so territorial before but this guy was in his territory—doing good, keeping the kids safe, marking them so no one tried going after them. "Phantom is Wraith's lieutenant. We don't need to make an enemy of the nicer one and piss of the one who ordered the explosion."

"I can handle him!"

"You'll piss him off!"

Robin scowled, crossing his arms over his chest. "And you won't? Phantom clearly is fond of children and I am a child—"

"With katanas. You're a murderous child. Wraith and Phantom claim children who are in danger. Not the danger." Jason scoffed, while Damian opted to look utterly smug at the statement.

"Stay here." Jason drops down from the building.

He, unfortunately, didn't account for Phantom pulling out a sword from nowhere and immediately pointing it at Jason. The kids behind the man were quick hide behind him, cowering in fear until the recognition sets in their eyes.

"Wait! That's the Red Hood!" A girl yells, standing between them. Stupid but very brave. "He's one of the good ones!"

Phantom, who wore a mask that covered half his face yet showed his eyes, immediately lowered his sword once the girl was between them.

Jason froze, unable to tear his gaze away from Lazarus eyes—no... That shade of green was much purer than the pits... Phantom narrowed his eyes at Jason, before turning back to the girl. "You go and take care of your little sister, yeah? If your mom forgets to feed you again, tell her I'll give her a visit."

The girl nods, but she whirled around and gave Jason the nastiest glare an 8-year-old could give. "You hurt mr. Phantom and I'll tell Wraith!" She pointed an accusing finger at him, frowning before she gives Phantom a quick hug and makes a run for it with the other kids.

Soon enough, they're left alone... Staring at one another.

"I was wondering when one of you Bats would finally find me." Phantom hums, sliding his hand over the hilt of his sword.

Jason warily watched it disappear from sight. Okay. Possible meta, definitely has powers. "You're a hard man to find, Phantom."

"Not for you, I guess. I come and go into your haunt to check in on the kids every week." Phantom laughs, tilting his head.

Jason could see snow white hair from under the hood, making him shudder as the deathly green eyes are brought back to his attention.

"Every week, huh?" Jason clicked his tongue. "I'll cut to the chase. Your boss's stint—" he swore that Phantom twitched "—pissed of the big Bat. He ain't happy tnag Wraith is bombing up buildings and killing people."

Phantom visibly rolled his eyes, "Too bad then. Wraith's pretty direct when it comes to this shit. Trafficking and pimping kids make him murderous but the fact that those bastards were killing them and selling their organs? He's damn genocidal at this point. Can't say I disagree with that."

Jason... Well... Jason can't argue with that. If he found out that some bastards were doing that to kids, he'd go ballistic too. But Bruce didn't agree with these methods and was rather reproachful about it. But Wraith wasn't going to back down. This wasn't a normal rogue that had felt fear of the Batman and his brood before. To be honest, Jason thinks he's pretty ballsy.

"I don't disagree with that shit either. But Batman ain't going to let him off the hook after that stunt." Jason warned, grunting as he spoke through the modulator. The pits were flaring up again. But not malicious, not murderous. It was curious as it warmed his chest and practically urged him to get closer to Phantom.

"Yes, well... Piece of advice—Wraith is willing to blow up an entire district if it meant keeping others safe. And besides, your rogues know not to mess with him. Not after the Joker." He didn't actually see Phantom's face but he's pretty sure that the bastard was grinning.

"So he really did it."

"If it makes you feel any better, the Joker might as well be cursing him from the afterlife. It was an accident." Phantom shrugged.

An accident, Jason breathed out. Holy fuck, that would have been humiliating for the Joker. His death. An accident. Unintentional and he still died, his body dumped into the harbor.

"Anyways, tell Batsy not to mess with the kids. I know he doesn't, but he let the Joker live, so..." Phantom gave him a thumbs up, "Make sure to not cross pass with Wraith or else you'll end up in the harbor."

Jason gawked, watching as Phantom slipped into the shadows and promptly disappeared. Meta. Definitely a meta.

"Hood, report." Batman's voice rang through the comms.

"Red Hood," he grunts, "Wraith sure as hell doesn't like you, old man. And Phantom might be the nice one but he might as well be as stabby as Robin."

"I agree with Hood. He has wonderful posture, father!" Robin spoke, sounding impressed and smug.

The little shit.

"Technus, stop bullying Oracle." Dan groaned once he caught the ghost tampering with the net... Again.

The crime lord turned towards Danny, who melted out of the shadows again. Technus was blabbering about pesky bats and birds before Dante clocked his younger brother's apprehension. He looked....annoyed and concerned.

"I talked to Red Hood."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Fun fact! He's a revenant!"

"THE FUCK YOU MEAN THE OTHER CRIME LORD IS A REVENAN?!"

"A very sexy looking one."

He was going to punch Danny. He was going to fucking punch Danny.

(Danny was not punched.)

"He said that Batman's pissy about you blowing up shit." Danny shrugged, shaking his head before floating over to the energy drinks and coffees by Dan's desk. "Good news though! I told him he'd end up in the harbor if he ever tried anything with us."

Dan gawked, "What the fuck is wrong with you?! You want to make the bats our enemies?"

"No! I'm commiting to our crime family bit!"

"We're not a crime family!"

"Tell that to Ellie. She's already got herself a new suit and everything."

Dan threw his hands up in the air, groaning at the insanity that was his younger siblings. Dear ancients, he was praying that Jazz wouldn't find out about the shit they've done in Gotham. She'd give them the worst tongue lashing the world has ever experienced if she did. Thank God she was in Yale right now.

"Ooh! A crime family, you say?" Technus grinned, floating closer to Danny who lounged in Dan's chair. (Get the fuck away from my crime lord throne, Danny! The leather is expensive!)

"That is perfect! The others have decided to migrate here, did you know? It's been quite... Boring back in Amity." Technus snickered.

Fuck. No.

"I bet my trust from Vlad that Johnny, Kitty, and Ember are already on their way." Danny cackled, "That'd be nice. Elle's been itching to steal Johnny's bike again."

"Splendid! We shall wreck havoc upon Gotham and exact justice that the Bats cannot give the people!" And like a supervillain, Danny cackled as he stood on Dan's desk, laughing maniacally.

(Just outside, the Wraith's goons peaked into the room and saw the insanity that was the nice lieutenant's villainy.)

Meanwhile, in the distance, the laughter of Johnny 13 and Kitty rang through the streets of Gotham.

Part 3 | Masterpost

[flamingpudding]

Jail Buddies

Once a month, Jason makes an effort to meet Dick on purpose. Sometimes even more. After all, he was a good little brother checking in with his brother. Though he had a rather uncontroversial way of doing so. One that involved getting led into a jail cell of your local police department and loudly demanding to speak to Officer Grayson.

Okay, maybe it wasn't like that it was an effort to check on his brother and just one of his many listed dumb moments of recklessness he got caught for. And he was maybe using his brother to get out without having to call Cass, Steph, Duke, Tim, Damian, Alfred or Bruce, in that order depending who was willing to bail him out every time Dick had his 'Little Wing you won't learn if I keep bailing you out.'-Phases again. Or if Dick was being petty because of a recent prank war.

Either way, while Jason was waiting for Dick to make his entrance in his cell he noticed the teen boy sharing the cell with him staring at him wide eyed. He arched an eyebrow, and decided on a whim to make friendly conversation.

"So what got you here kid?"

The teen blinked as if just realizing Jason had addressed him before grinning a bit feral, his blue eyes having an unnatural glow. "Vandalism."

Jason's eyebrow rose again, but the teen continued.

"Trashed mu place and gave my guardian's car a pretty paint job and some other stuff."

"You vandalized your own place? And got arrested."

"Fruitloop decided an overnight stay was a better punishment then leaving me unattended."

The teen shrugged and Jason couldn't help but feel like he just had heard a red flag. He opened his mouth to question the kid more but than his brother finally made his entrance.

"Little Wing! What did you do this time!?" Jason could see that Dick was out to start a rant but changed tunes when he noticed the teen.

"Danny or Dan? You are here again? When did they bring you in? Trouble at home?" Dick asked, and Jason clearly saw the telltale signs of information fishing bat style.

"Danny and the usual." Danny, as Jason now learned the kid's name was, shrugged nonchalantly like this wasn't the first time he and Dick had had that exchange.

"Seriously buddy? I had a rebellious phase as teen too but to regularly trash your home to the point that someone calls the police or vandalize your guardian's cars, buildings, advertisements or anything that has to do with him is not a solution kid." Jason arched an eyebrow at Dicks tone, feeling slightly reminded of whenever Dick lectured one of them.

"Oh I know. But it's a nice stress reliever, plus you guys are nice here. I get pizza as dinner whenever I stay the night." The kid grinned and Jason couldn't help the snort that earned him a little glare from Dick.

Instead of arguing further his brother let out a suffering sigh and let Jason out of the cell, waving him towards the exit and following him shortly after giving the kid one more look that looked like a mix between stern and pleading to stop being a rebellious teen.

Once out of earshot, Jason then chose to ask. "So what's the kid's deal?"

"Nothing, just a rebellious teen reminds me of Damian when he first appeared. He has a twin and a little sister as far as I know, both of them also known here. Their guardian is an upstanding man, though." Jason heard the hidden but.

"Did someone look into it?" He hummed more as a cover.

"Higher ups don't know, but i am running an investigation." Translation Bruce is unaware, but Dick was using Bat resources for looking into the kid's residence.

"Nice kid, didn't think he was a regular." He only commented.

"Nice and polite, you wouldn't think he did some of the things he was brought in for. Distrustful though, despite his friendly nature."

Jason nodded as Dick went through the papers to bail him out, a thought popping up in his head. Clearly, something was up with the kid that had his brother worried, and it looked like he was stuck on just doing his investigation. So, being the thoughtful little brother he was, Jason decided to help his brother.

In his uncontroversial ways, of course.

"Yo Danny, also here?" Jason grinned as he was led into the same cell the teen was in a week later.

[deadsetobsessions]

Edit: thank you @tetranationaltortoise for pointing out that the Red Spot is on Jupiter instead of Saturn! Fixed it! You’re not nickpicking, you’re providing very appreciated constructive criticism (and a basic fact check I should have done lol) <3

Danny, as usual, hadn’t meant to become the local cryptid. Local being extremely relative, as his locality in this instance is… space.

He just wanted to have some relaxation time. He just wanted to do some homework, chill on Mars or something, and then call it a day.

This hero business was taxing and Danny took his breaks when he could. Take that, work-life balance! Just kidding, Danny had no work-life balance. His life is a mess and he's overworked.

What was it that Superman had said in that one interview?

“Evil never sleeps."

Apparently, that also meant Danny never slept either.

“Hrk!” Danny snorted awake, looking around wildly at the vast expanse of space to see what woke him.

….

Yeah, that’ll do it.

In front of him, merrily floating through space, is the battered remains of what used to be an asteroid and a mecha that’s a weird combination of Gotham’s vigilante hero, Batman, and Metropolis’ Golden Boy, Superman.

The vibrations of the collision had shaken Danny awake.

Danny got up, baffled as hell and half asleep still. He floated to the giant Bat insignia tumbling around, inching closer as he saw the- oh hell, that’s so cool, it’s a plane!- cockpit and the passed out hero inside of it. Danny clicked his tongue, the sound swallowed by the lack of air.

He shoved the plane closer to earth, passing it to a bewildered (and both beat up and stressed out) Superman, who did a double take at the glowing green boy chucking him the Toy-maker Batplane.

Danny had waved, blinked out of visibility, and had gone back to his nap.

After phasing inside the plane and nabbing a batarang from Batman’s pouch, that is. Danny will consider it payment for the clean up service he’d unwittingly signed himself up for.

And so went the first encounter.

——

The second time he met the so called Big Leagues, Danny had just come back from fighting Dan. He wanted a break, dammit, and if staring at Saturn’s gorgeous rings and gaseous formations helped him sleep better, then that’s what’s going to happen.

Then, a similarly green glowing Green Lantern “landed” to where he was floating curled up. Danny knew about Lanterns. Their council often tried to meddle in his court.

“Hello,” the Ring projected its Lantern’s words to Danny’s head. Danny tilted his head without looking at the Lantern. “I’m John Stewart. What are you doing out here, kid?”

Danny thought this guy had a nice, soothing voice. Powerful, as Latern tended to be, but infinitely kind.

Danny decided that this one wasn’t immediately on his shit list.

“Phantom.” He said, and the Lantern asked him to repeat it as the glow of his ring enveloped the halfa.

“Phantom. Are you lost, Phantom?”

“No, just dead.”

John Stewart paused. “…Dead?”

“I’m a ghost,” Danny raised his hands and phased it through the Lantern’s arm.

“Ah,” the man said, flustered. “Right. So… you’re just…”

“Hanging out.” As he talked to the Lantern, Danny had a rather amusing idea. He rotated himself- turned- towards Jupiter and pointed to the Red Spot. “That’s actually my grave.”

John Stewart paused. “I’m sorry…?”

“My grave. Don’t disturb it. It’s rude,” Danny lied through his sharp ghost teeth. “Your council disturbed my grave the last time they stopped by and it took ages to get it back right.”

The green Lantern shield enveloping Danny flickered as John Stewart went through the five stages of grief. To be fair, the council had last visited this solar system... a couple thousand years ago, so John was no doubt rapidly doing some mental math regarding Danny's age.

“The council disturbed your grave…?”

“Not that they knew it, those pretentious weirdos.” Danny pretended to be offended, just to see the struggle on John’s face as he debated defending the council or telling a dead child their grave didn’t matter. Because Stewart was a hero, he went with the latter.

“I see. I am sorry, on their behalf.”

“Eh, whatever. Just make sure they don’t do it again. So… what can that ring do?”

——

"Hi. Could you not litter in space, please?"

Wonder Woman whirled around, sword out and pointed at Danny.

"A... child? Who are you, child?"

"I'm not a child-! You know what, it doesn't even matter. See that?" Danny waved at the pieces of shattered meteor and smashed up alien tech floating outside of the watch tower. "Littering is not cool."

"How did you get in here?"

"I'm Phantom. This is kind of my neighborhood." Danny let his mouth run, sleep deprived and exhausted. "I'm dead, that's how I got in here. Could you not litter in my backyard, please?"

He had better things to do than cleaning after full grown adult heroes.

"Oh, you are the ghost child Lantern mentioned! I see! My apologies, the clean up will be starting in a bit." Wonder Woman slid her sword back into its sheath.

"Great. Nice meeting you. I'll stick around to make sure you young whipper snappers clean up properly."

With that, Danny sunk into the floor. After a moment's deliberation, he decided to take a nap in the floor vent.

——

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Danny jolted awake once more. Ancients, like mentor, like mentee. Robin stared at him, awkwardly wriggling through the floor vents.

"I'm taking a nap here," Danny grumbled. "What are you doing in the vents?"

"Me? What are you doing in the vents? I'm allowed in here!"

"Wonder Woman knows I'm here," Danny replied. She knows... probably? "I'm Phantom."

"Robin."

"So... what are you doing?"

"Knowledge is power," Robin intoned, clearly imitating the Bat.

Danny stared.

"... You're stalking the JL?"

"Information gathering!"

"Stalking," Danny concluded, ignoring Robin's grumble. "Yeah, okay. If you need help, let me know, I guess."

"I don't need help." Robin paused, tilting his head to the side like a particularly curious bird. "Unless you're up for some pranks? Green Lantern's been getting on my nerves lately."

Danny frowned at him. "I like John Stewart."

"You've met- no, not him, the other one."

"Oh. What do I get out of it?"

Robin reached into his belt pouch and pulled out... a bag of marshmallows? How the hell did that-? Ah, right, hammerspace.

"Oh, wait, can you eat this?"

"I'm dead, not tasteless. I love marshmallows, hand it over. I'll help out."

"Deal."

——

"I swear to god, Spooky, there's something in the walls. It's even creepier than you!"

Batman grunted. He'd stop Robin if he went too far and it started affecting Lantern's abilities on the field, but as far as the Dark Knight was concerned, the Green Lantern had it coming. Robins were vindictive on a good day. If Hal hadn't learned that from Dick, then Jason's retaliation was well deserved.

"Oh, maybe it's the ghost!" Hal said, looking around with his ring glowing.

"I thought John said he was a godling?" Diana polished her sword as she looked on in amusement.

"The boy." Batman grunted. "Not human, his pointed ears and green skin is proof of that. Did J'onn say anything?"

"Not yet."

"Whatever he is, he saved Batman. He's welcome in the Tower," Superman tilted back as his hearing picked up on Robin's and Phantom's snickering.

[bluerosefox]

Friendships Between Realms (YJ and Danny Shenanigans Being Peek Friendship)

So the 90s YJ group got into a lot of shenanigans tbh. Like a lot and mostly without their mentors knowledge. And whenever I think of YJ I think of the Core 4 (mainly cause Tim is my fav, and the Core 4 is just so amazing together) anyways I honestly wouldn't put it past them if they had accidentally summoned or were being sacrificed by some cult, or meet Danny who accidentally fell into their world via a random portal in someway. (In this DC and Phantom universes are not on the same world, fyi)

Like Danny, still new to being a hero but getting the hang of it, meets them, learns some things from them, and actually gets along with them to the point that when he has to leave Robin gives him a communication device to keep in touch (and Robin Tim would, despite being the second most paranoid of the Bats this boy lies to Batman to his face and had hidden an entire Batmoblie cost in the Batarang budget and keeps it with YJ) and Danny does.

It's nice to have hero friends who understand the struggle of balancing hero and normal lives. Don't get him wrong Danny loves Tucker, Sam and Jazz but sometimes they just don't... fully get it. The danger, the stress, the anxiety, the relief when things are solved or saved, etc etc that comes with being a hero or at least try to be one. They don't understand the urge he gets at like 3 am to go patrol Amity Park just to make sure everything is safe. YJ on the other hand does.

He talks to them about his problems and they help out and Danny in turn helps them out too when he can. Like they needed help with Secret, call up Danny see if he knows what kind of ghost she is (he turned to Clockwork and Frostbite in that case) and Danny in turn talked to them about Dan (they told him about them having to face their own future evil self to at one point). Danny talks to Conner when Dani came into the picture, he wants to make sure he doesn't screw up like Superman did towards his clone's feelings and self worth. Etc etc.

Point is, despite being dimensions and Realms apart, YJ and Phantom are friends and have been in touch. He's friends with all the YJ at the time and keeps in touch with them all but is very close with the Core 4. (Danny was the one that reassured Tim when Bruce was thought to be dead. Couldn't find his soul or ghost in the Realms and Clockwork was being 1000% more crypticd about Batman when Danny had asked if he was lost in time, Danny (or CW) couldn't do much to help due to certain rules but Danny could tell Tim "He isn't dead. Just lost. You're not insane Rob I promise."

So imagine a few years later, DCverse is under heavy near world ending supernatural danger and it gets to the point someone in JLD suggests they may have to summon the Ghost King in order to stop it (maybe its an old ancient ghost/spirit someone foolishly unleased). Of course there are some that strongly advise not to, that summoning him would spell the end of everything, but someone else points out they're already close to that edge they already got no other choice.

So they try and it fails and everyone is confused.

Bart, because of course it's gonna be Bart, returns from helping evacuations takes one look at the summoning circle and says.

"Why are you using those outdated sigals and symbols? That'd like trying to call an out of service number." Bart says before he speed texts Tim, Conner, and Cassie to come over.

Tim, RR, takes one look at the circle and asks who they were trying to summon. When told they were trying to get the Ghost King, him and the Core 4 look at each other before Tim pulls out his communicator and texts Danny.

It takes less than a few minutes before RR tells Impulse that Danny was cool with the summoning and to bring him in. Impulse nods and quickly runs around and changes the old summoning circle around with new symbols and sigals. Then RR turns to most of the JLD members and says sternly.

"You all better not memorize this, this is Phantom's personal summoning line and he only wants friends to know it. He gave us permission."

And with Superboy (Conner) and Wonder Girl agreeing with nods.

Before any of the JL or the JLD could really ask or even interrogate what that meant Impulse was done with the preparation. the Summoning circle was changed around with constellations and other signs of stars, there was a bag of fresh burgers and three milkshakes in the middle of it, and under it was a stylized symbol of a D and a P.

Its Impulse who starts the... chant and raises his hands up. (its actually the dumbest song anyone can think of. Danny wanted it to be funny and the Core 4 totally encouraged it) the candles shift from red to green fire, the star symbols start glowing before flying around on the floor in a circle like shooting stars, the area starts feeling like a cold winter wind beginning to blow, and the stylized symbol is glowing green before...

Danny pops up in his Ghost King form (flaming crown, galaxy cape, looking more ghostly than human but still a teen), finishing up the song and laughing. When he spots his friends he's grinning and waving hello to them, all of them greeting him back.

The JL are confused as heck but noticed how shell-shocked most if not all the members of JLD as their staring at what has to be the Ghost King...

Basically. I want Danny to be one of the people/things the 90s YJ did/meet during their insane shenanigans that most of their mentors most likely didn't know about. They all kept in touch and if they knew, and were later invited to the coronation, of Danny becoming the new Ghost King and later needs to bring out the big guns against a supernatural entity and stuns everyone else that they have a friend in a very high place well... yeah.

[boasamishipper]

Night Court anon here again - oh wow, all your Dan/Harry WIPs sound amazing, and I especially can't wait for Code of Conduct, I was *hoping* for Harry's POV of Judicial Impropriety and I'm very excited!! 💜

hello again! i'm so glad you're excited for Code of Conduct - i'm about 3200 words in right now, with the expected word count to be a little under 10k (just because of who i am as a person lmao).

snippet below the cut:

“Answer this for me, Harry. True or false.”

Harry takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand, half-hoping that Dan’s sudden appearance is a stress-and-slight-stomachache-induced hallucination. No dice. “Okay.”

“True or false. If you decide to get back together with your boyfriend, it’s polite to inform the handsome attorney from whom you accepted an offer of a night on the town,” even Dan’s eyebrow waggle looks put out, “not six hours prior that your situation has changed, so said handsome attorney can avoid driving all the way to Queens and looking like an idiot in front of you, your three insipid roommates, and your stupid doctor boyfriend.”

“I’m sensing this isn’t a hypothetical.���

“True or false, Harry.”

“True,” Harry says, and Dan throws his arms into the air triumphantly.

“Thank you. My God, Harry, I bought Veuve Clicquot for this woman! Okay, I paid Phil to do the buying, but it was still my money! What the hell am I supposed to do with eighty-eight dollars worth of champagne now?”

“Return it to the store?” Harry suggests.

“Non-refundable.”

“Donate it to charity?”

“The whole point of the less fortunate is that they remain less fortunate, Harry. I’m not upending that hierarchy by giving them luxury champagne.”

“Keep talking like that and you’ll get a Cabinet position,” Harry says, and Dan’s eyes light up.

“You think so?”

“Sure. You’d be the most human of the bunch.”

“Gosh, sir, you say the sweetest things,” Dan deadpans, somehow simultaneously rolling his eyes and batting his eyelashes. “Got any more ideas?”

“You could save the champagne for my next New Year’s Eve luau.”

Dan’s whole face scrunches up. “I’d rather donate it to charity. None of your usual guests have the class to fully appreciate such a gift. Well, you do, I suppose,” he says thoughtfully. “But Bull? Absolutely not.”

“Thanks,” Harry says. For the sake of his fluttering heart, he wishes Dan flirting and Dan trying to suck up didn’t look and sound so similar. “I think.”

“Don’t mention it. What’re you doing here so late, anyhow?”

“Said the kettle to the pot.”

“The kettle forgot his keys and saw the light under your door. And the Honorable Judge Pot?”

“Bail reports,” Harry says, gesturing at the files. The stack on the floor is midway to his knees. The five remaining stacks on the desk are approximately the length of his arm. 

Dan sucks a sympathetic breath through his teeth. He stands up, and Harry figures that he’s going to go home. He’s surprised when Dan says instead, “Well, such an occasion ought to be celebrated.” A smirk tugs at his mouth. “If only we had a bottle of champagne lying around.”

“Dan, we’re off the clock,” Harry says. “You don’t have to suck up.”

Dan looks a little hurt. “Who’s sucking up?”

“You—well, I-I thought you were offering me your bottle of champagne—”

“I was offering to split my champagne with you,” Dan says archly. “No ulterior motive, nothing up my sleeve—unless you count wanting some champagne for myself.” He winks. “So, you game or what?”

Harry bites his lip. He has to get these bail reports signed, sealed, and delivered, otherwise they’ll just be waiting for him on Monday. On the other hand, being alone with Dan and a bottle of good champagne is the basis of at least three of his favorite fantasies. Which is exactly why he should say no. But naturally, his traitorous mouth says, “I’m game.”

Dan grins. “Back in five.”

[jadedwolf18-blog]

I can not, for the life of me, find the post I want to connect with this but I’ll give the gist of it here and if you know it please link it. Thank you!

Ok, so the gist of the other post was that Danny got de-aged and Vlad felt bad about his thoughts to mold him into his ‘perfect’ son and genuinely started to care for Danny as his own. He has to go to a gala hosted by the Waynes, so he leaves a toddler/6yo Danny with a baby sitter. At some point Danny comes flying in with an injured leg. One of the bats over hear Vlad mumbling about Danny’s powers coming in as he lets him suck ecto from his arm. This leads the bats to believe they are either vampire like metas or actual vampires.

with that out the way I propose that Dan was also de-aged but appears around early-mid teens and therefore was dragged to the gala. So he could be mistaken for Dick or Jason, depending on the time line.

Now let’s say Dan was kidnapped before Danny flew in. Vlad is panicking because his eldest is going to kill someone if he’s annoyed enough. Now he’s double stressed and panicked because Danny is here and injured when he’s supposed to be home with the baby sitter.

For even more stress let’s add baby Dani/Elle into the mix who did not come in with Danny… now he’s torn in three directions. Go stop a potential massacre by going after Dan but then who’s going to watch Danny? And he needs to go find out what happened to Elle and the baby sitter. But Dan will calm down quicker and focus on Danny as soon as he sees him but on the other hand he’ll go off on a war path in search of Elle when he realizes she’s not there.

all the while the bats are freaking out because they apparently have a family of vampire/vampire like metas in the city and one apparently has anger issues, another just got their powers and the youngest is apparently missing. They can also see that the father is quite stressed about the situation and has no idea where to start to try and solve the problem. And the bats have no idea what Vlad will do if something has happened to the currently missing youngest.

Vlad is taking Dan on a tour of high society around the country to officially announce him as his son. Their current stop is Gotham, where Dan is immediately mistaken for a Wayne and kidnapped.

[melubi]

BILAN 2023

Entre les commandes en cours et l'expo qui arrive à grand pas (et le petit dernier que je garde en même temps que je bosse ), je suis bien occupée et je n'ai pas le temps de dessiner pour moi. Du coup je me suis dis qu'il était temps de faire un petit bilan de l'année 2023 sachant qu'elle fut très chargée (positivement). En plus vous pouvez apercevoir ici 2 petites exclus qui seront visibles lors de mon expo MICROPOLIS (#teasing 😎) 

• Pour commencer, le plus important pour moi : ma grossesse qui m'a suivie sur une bonne partie de l'année jusqu'à la naissance de mon 2ème enfant cet été. J'avais déjà un petit bonhomme mignon et incroyablement intelligent (et doué en dessin !!), maintenant j'en ai un 2ème bien parti pour devenir un adorable petit clown (traitez moi de nunuche, j'assume). Cette grossesse m'a, certes, obligée à ralentir le rythme et à repousser mon expo mais elle m'a aussi permis de prendre conscience de mes limites : je suis du genre à être dans le déni quand je bosse (- moi : "mais siiii ça vaaaa je peux encore le faiiire ! j'ai encore un peu d'énergie dans un coin" - la vie : "non.")

• Ensuite ma collaboration avec le bar Le Sauvage : En créant la mascotte et le logo du lieu tout d'abord. En quoi ça change des autres logos ? Et bien là il s'agit de créations pour un lieu de vie - un bar - ainsi qu'un lieu culturel (le bar est aussi un lieu d'exposition). Donc à chaque concert, à chaque expo ou simplement chaque bière bue, les gens voient mon travail et ça me rend super fière ! 

Pour continuer cette collaboration, il y a eu justement ma 1ère expo MICROPOLIS en avant première dans ce bar ! Si le vernissage ne s'est pas déroulé comme prévu (pluie torrentielle + manifs ce jour là), le dévernissage a eu son succès et au final c'est la moitié de mon expo qui est partie... M'encourageant a faire MICROPOLIS vol.2 (mais on y vient) ! En tout cas énorme merci à Guillaume le patron du bar ❤ ! Des mecs sympa et marrants comme ça vous en croiserez pas souvent donc si vous avez l'occasion, allez boire un verre dans son bar !

• Dans registre un peu plus personnel : ma soeur s'est mariée et du coup j'ai découvert la "joie" d'être témoin haha ! Punaise c'était EPUISANT : des mois de préparatifs en parallèle du boulot et de ma vie de jeune maman bis ! OUAH ! Je ne suis pas sûre que j'accepterai de nouveau de reprendre le rôle haha ! Je râle mais en vérité on s'est bien amusés et le plus important c'est que la mariée ait aimé sa journée ! Encore toutes mes félicitations à ma frangine et mon beau frère 😊 !

• Pour continuer j'ai pu constater à quel point j'avais progressé jusqu'au point de me débarrasser une bonne fois pour toute de mon syndrome de l'imposteur et d'enfin avoir le courage de faire les démarches pour devenir Artiste Auteur (je vais dire AA maintenant ce sera plus court). Bon anecdote tout de même sur ce point : je me bats encore avec l'administration française pour régler la cessation de mon ancienne activité et avoir le statut d'AA... on m'a baladée dans tous les sens pour remplir mon dossier de cessation et là ça traine à mort pour me valider des papiers 😤... 2024 j'ai le SIREN ?

• Cette année j'ai également pu échanger, puis faire la rencontre d'un artiste dont je vénère le travail : François Baranger (vous auriez vu ma tête quand j'ai vu que j'avais reçu un message de sa part... je venais tout juste d'accoucher qui plus est ! bébé porte bonheur ? ). Il a été super encourageant concernant mes propres dessins et je pense que ça eu l'effet déclic sur mon intention de devenir A-A : si un grand nom du dessin comme lui est capable de voir des qualités dans mon travail, alors je n'ai pas de raisons de douter ! Je tiens a lui dire encore une fois un immense merci. Que ce soit pour ses compliments sur mon travail, ses encouragements, ses dédicaces ou tout simplement pour m'avoir écoutée parler dans le stress le plus absolu (et très mal dissimulé..). J'ai dû lui paraitre très bizarre haha 😅 !  D'ailleurs petit message pour lui rappeler que, oui, j'ai bel et bien pour objectif de lui faire dédicacer toute ma collection de ses livres. Ceci est mon "objectif pokédex" perso (un barandex ?) : j'ai décrété que j'aurai un dessin dans chacun bouquin. Donc désolée pour lui, il n'a pas fini de me croiser en convention 😈 !

• Enfin c'est avec une immense joie que je vois ma communauté évoluer et s'engager plus fortement ! 500 personnes ça peut sembler être un petit nombre mais pour moi c'est déjà incroyable ! Grâce à cela je commence à avoir plus de commandes et j'ai même signé mon premier contrat ce mois-ci (mais ça vous en saurez plus l'année prochaine hahaha). J'avoue j'ai même mes petits chouchous parmi mes clients haha ! Pensée particulière pour Enrico "the wild west man" et sa femme Isa Venture : c'est toujours un plaisir de recevoir leurs messages à chaque fois touchants ! J'espère bien avoir un jour la chance de boire une tasse de thé avec eux tout en dégustant des spéculoos 😋 ! Bref pour cela je vous remercie tous mille fois et j'espère que ça va continuer dans cette voie l'année prochaine ! 

• Enfin je termine avec mon expo MICROPOLIS vol2 qui a vécu moult péripéties (dont la naissance de mon fils, rien que ça) pour finalement voir le jour mardi prochain au Poum Poum T'chak (souhaitez moi qu'il n'arrive rien d'autre d'ici là) ! J'aurais la chance de présenter de nouveau mes petits insectes en même temps qu'aura lieu un concert de Jazz/Blues ! Trop cool 😎 !

Bref, un immense merci à vous tous pour cette chouette année ! J'espère que 2024 sera aussi cool ! 

Bonnes fêtes de fin d'année à tous !

❀ Si vous aimez mon travail, vous pouvez me soutenir en interagissant (❤) avec ce post ou en me suivant sur les réseaux : X / FB / YB / INSTA : Melubillus TIKTOK : Melubillustration ❀ Mes boutiques : https://linktr.ee/melubi

[cemoras27-but-writing-this-time]

Danny's Evil Jaunt. It's Evil He Swears. Ignore the Charity pt. 1

Hi! its me again. I saw this prompt thing on @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 and it had me in a choke hold and held me hostage until I wrote it. Its where Danny becomes a supervillain using his machines instead of his ghost powers! Have Fun!

AO3: Here

EDIT: the text color should be fixed now I think let me know if it isn’t

“Hello Daniel,” Clockwork greeted Danny as he entered the Clocktower with wringing hands. The young halfa had been incredibly stressed ever since Dan, hiding any perceived negative emotion in his attempts of the best timeline. An appreciated thought and effort, however more harmful than the boy anticipated. Perhaps he should listen more to that sister of his a bit more.

“Heey Clocky, um I just-”

“You're worried about Dan.”

“Yeah. I was. I just- just want to make sure that things are still looking good y’know!” Danny said, arms flaring out to his sides dramatically. “I’ve been behaving! I haven’t lashed out at anything. Haven’t even pranked Dash or his friends!”

“Daniel,” Clockwork turned from the timeline he was observing.

“What’d I do?” Danny’s eyes filled with palpable panic.

“Nothing. However, suppressing your emotions will do nothing but cause harm to those around you and yourself. Come.” The shifting ghost laid a hand upon Danny’s thin shoulder, and led them to a small table that Danny wasn’t entirely sure was there moments before. There was a small tea set he noticed as the baby Clockwork set Danny in the comfy chair. “However, I think I may have a solution. A way for you to ‘lash out’ as much as your core can handle.” Danny’s eyes glisten in interest; similar to those stars he adores so much. “I will take you to a different realm, similar to your home, and you may concoct as much havoc as you wish. I will pause the time in your home so that you may continue your life as you want. All I ask is that you truly allow yourself to let your emotions run their course, else I worry for the future.” 

“What? Like a rage room? Like the ones that they give you a bat and let you go ham? That sounds cool…” 

“I suppose that is a fair comparison. I won’t allow any consequences to come  to you either. It is supposed to be therapeutic after all. All you must do is let me know and I will give you access to the realm.” Clockwork grinned, blue hands -now old- creaking around the teacup that he filled at some point. 

“You sure nothing  bad will happen? What if I-”

“Nothing of the sort will happen. If you need guidance I and others will be happy to lend you a hand. Though now that I have you here, how are your lessons with Wulf going? Have you successfully made a portal?” Danny perks.

“They're going good! I actually made one to come here. I like how Wulf teaches,” the half-ghost chimes, an airy quality unknowingly weaving its way into his voice. His Espernato is getting better the Keeper of Time notes, enough for it to slip into regular conversation. How nice.

They talk for a while after that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Danny stares at the small hole in reality, an adult Clockwork stands beside him and takes the first steps forwards.

“Beyond this portal is the realm where you may do as you wish. You may take as long as you like, and the consequences will not apply to you. Again all I wish is for this to be therapeutic. Your sister gave you quite the monologue, didn't she?” The old time piece drones, stepping to the side to allow access to the portal and gestures for Danny to step through. 

On the other side is an open field. The grass is yellowing in the lowering temperatures as the familiar autumn chill flows through them. Clockwork emerges from behind him. 

“We are close to a rather large city, Star City I believe, home to several heroes. You can open portals consistently now yes?”

“Yeah! Thanks again Clocky, this- this means a lot y’know” Danny stammers. 

“Of course Daniel. I am here to guide. Please let me know how you find your visit.” 

“Are you ever gonna call me Danny?” He only gets a small smile before Clockwork floats back into the portal - it closes- and he is left alone.

Danny turns and takes a deep breath in, and starts to think as he heads towards ‘Star City’. What should he even do? He thinks hard before coming to the conclusion that, if he became evil by holding in his emotions, then why couldn’t he just be evil while feeling. Why not let his anger and disappointment and sadness run amok? After all, there are no consequences here! But he doesn’t want to be Phantom, as much as he loves being Phantom, he's so tired of the consent ghost attacks and being shot at by ecto-guns. 

The halfa takes a small break and sits by the dirt road he had been following, maybe it was time for Danny Fenton to do something. He was a Fenton! His parents built a portal to Hell in their basement using household Items, sure he wasn’t as book smart as Jazz or a techie like Tuck, but he could whip up something he's sure!

With newborn vigor Danny sets off again while drawing up his plans. 

A world where he could do anything he wants. The world is a big place. He wonders if Dani would want to visit.

Tag list: I saw that some people wanted to be tagged if anyone wrote something

@amuseofminds @roseinbloom02 @starkcravingmad @little-pondhead

sorry victoria-has-no-secret I can't seem to tag you correctly

[dannyphantom-justiceleauge]

What if Danny Fenton became a green lantern?* Like, ghostly obsessions could be called similar to absolute will, and Danny literally fought death in a very strange machine to stay alive so he could be with his friends and family and keep everyone safe. bonus points if the ring chooses him in front of his parents and loudly declares "Daniel J. Fenton, you have overcome death and shown great willpower. Take this ring and use it to protect your sector." And that how he gets revealed.

*yes, I know he'd already be considered overpowered in the DC universe, but listen, maybe some of us want to see Batman froth at the mouth as he's torn between the desire to adopt the overpowered child or come up with some sort security ghost proof measures in case Danny goes bad (again).

okay first i think danny should receive his ring after he defeats dan. survival and near death experiences are acts of will but they're also fairly common and don't a green lantern make. there's far more will in holding yourself accountable to never become an evil version of yourself. the other criteria for a lantern was being 'utterly honest and born without fear' which i don't think fully fits danny. because lets be real danny lies his butt off not and not just for legitimate reasons like protecting his secret identity. but for petty kid reasons like being popular and staying out of trouble. and he definitely has fears.

but i'm still gonna roll with him becoming a lantern. because despite hal being the one for earth. the corps, when made aware of the ghost zone, decide they probably need a lantern for the zone. that's basically what i'm most excited for in this au. danny's sector is literally the ghost zone. he also received his ring because out of all the available ghosts (and half ghosts) he was the best option.

so as such, danny is somewhat revealed as a ghost or at least as someone who has to spend a lot of time in the ghost zone. i have a feeling that his parents are going to massively misunderstand the situation and miss the fact that danny is phantom and instead fully support him as a superhero to the ghost zone. meaning danny is now kinda a superhero in both identities, and his parents are trying to make him compete with himself and prove himself a better hero than phantom. they're also going to outfit him with weapons and protective gear even though the ring can already do it all.

either way danny is stressed he is still a teenager and he has school. having two superhero jobs is a lot. i think he is going to try and keep them somewhat separate. like he only uses the ring in the zone for external or cosmic threats. most of the time he's trying to ignore that he has it. the rest of the time when he's fighting ghosts and such he's just phantom. he likes being just phantom. the responsibility is a lot.

then you add in hal, alan, and maybe some of the othere bats coming around and trying to adopt him. and lets be real danny isn't fond of that because he has enough adults trying to adopt him. adding bats to the mix just bugs him further. i should be clear that bats is very much trying to do both. he wants to adopt danny and prepare a safety protocol for if things go south. the lanterns got dibs though. alan and hal sorta fighting for custody. because alan is more into the mystical stuff which fits with danny's ghostliness. but hal is the current corp member. also danny is just a cute, troubled kid.

i'm also mentally seeing them getting pissed on his behalf and fighting vlad. i also want hal and danny to relate about flying. hal was in the air corps and danny is interested in space. so hal teaching danny about planes and aeronautics would be cute as hell and bring danny around on the whole lantern thing. and you better beleive danny is going to lose his shit over being able to actually go to space and meet aliens. all in all. a fun concept.

a friend also suggested danny with a black lantern ring which makes more sense for him and his position as the ghost zones lantern. but would also have negative implications associated with it. so i'm gonna talk about that in a separate post. - Hestia

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

I saw a post/ask kind of adjacent to this idea but I didn't want to hijack it so im going to talk a bit about Neil as a captain!!

Kind of long and rambling so i apologize in advance.

So the big thing is that I think Neil would end up being a really decent captain but in a really non-traditional sense. Ive seen some people make comments before about how Kevin should be captain after Dan which... no that doesnt make sense to me. Being in a leadership position isn't about being the best at what your group is doing. It isnt even about being the person who commands the most attention or respect. Good leaders are all about interpersonal dynamics and supporting the group in achieving whatever it is the group is setting out to do.

In normal settings and normal groups of people, Neil is probably not great at this type of stuff! He's indifferent to most things and people, he has a temper and a mouth on him, he is really good at getting people riled up and hitting their weak spots (and starting fights).

But! Hes also great at blending in when he needs to. He's good at manipulating people to do what he wants. Hes good at understanding people and making people understand one another.

And you put him with the foxes??? Thats the shit they need. None of the foxes, new or old, would ever flourish under a leader whos all hugs and good feelings and "let's talk it out". These assholes need someone to SEE them, but also whip their butts into shape and pull them together under mutual understanding of some sort.

Which is why Wymack is so good as a coach. Which is why he chose Dan and Neil.

So I think at first Neil would be thrown completely by the choice (as he was at first, but even after the whole "im going to be dead before next year" thing is gone he'd still be really confused). But he'd give it his all because he can't not? And when he's first trying to figure out how to do it maybe he'd try to emulate Dan or something in the whole "hey let's come together as a team and bond where we can outside of practice :)" but it would absolutely be super fake and useless because he's not dan! He's neil! He doesnt CARE about bonding with the freshmen and sophomores. He just wants their best on court.

So I think that after he tries that and it doesn't work, he sort of gives up trying to be a "good leader" and just goes with his gut. And things drastically improve. He stops trying to be a peace maker (he wasn't good at it anyway) and instead becomes a sort of mediator who solves the problem as quickly as is needed.

Like

"I dont give a shit what you were fighting about. We have a fucking scrimmage to get to and if you dont cut this shit out youre gonna have bigger fucking problems. I WILL PERSONALLY MAKE MYSELF YOUR PROBLEM IF WE LOSE THIS WEEKS GAME."

But! On the other hand I think he's also a bit more positive than Kevin in terms of training together and giving feedback. Kevin will tear someone apart without batting an eye and then neil will step in after like "lmao hes right but he's also just bitchy today because Andrew at his last cereal bar. Hes right about everything he said but you also did xyz okay and lord knows he won't tell you that so just make sure you keep that up"

Like he won't coddle people and he isnt doing it to help peoples feelings, but he'll be practical and realistic. and he can do that easily because he actually really doesn't care about your feelings! He just cares about exy bitch! And hes gonna make damn sure the team runs smoothly!!

I just think leadership of that nature is something that really does come naturally to Neil, which is exactly why Wymack chose him - the freshman and rookie at the time - to be the next captain.

Its definitely an added stress because he doesnt really have the option to look the other way anymore when people bring their shit on court. Hes now kind of obligated to know other peoples business and be involved in their shit to some degree. But i think after he gets over the initial trial of figuring out what hes SUPPOSED to be and just goes for it, I think its something that he blends pretty seamlessly into his life and normal way of functioning with the foxes.

I think it then gets a lot harder to do once everyone else (Andrew specifically) has graduated. Hes looking to the future at that point and his own foxes are all gone. Hes far less invested in the team and their success than he is in his personal performance and landing a pro contract and just feeling okay in his life with his whole family spread out across the country. But the stress of having to get involved and care anyway probably becomes kind of exhausting. Especially in addition to the general shit situation of his last year. But thats another post for another time.

My point is I love Neil as the team captain and I love thinking about the years at Palmetto post-canon. My boy is learning how to Be A Person and huh look at that turns out he can be pretty damn good at holding authority when he wants to be.

[redantsunderneath]

DC COMICS: Incoherence as Not-a-Bug-but-a-Feature (Spoilers for Batman 89-100)

Due to the emergence of the new Batman villain character Punchline, I wound up buying the last 12 issues of Batman and reading them in a single sitting. I’ve had trouble following DC comics for a while, constantly feeling that they were in trouble since back in the mid 2000s (with a glimmer of hope here and there). The act of reading DC comics has been a frustrating experience, where individual good stories and runs were laying around in the context of a lot of things that didn’t make sense while the company’s thrust felt chaotic and ideas not well blended. Every status quo change seemed hard to figure out the rules of enough to parse the context.  We’ll get into the background of this, but my reading today of this extended stretch of comics that keeps losing the plot in favor of a fever dream of what’s happening at the moment with specific characters that refuse to cohere, it became obvious that what I had been looking at as subtext or critique was actually the text. I could see the messed up trees but was missing the the forest the universe was trying to describe.

What happens in these issues (Batman current series 89-100, I missed the beginning of the first of 2 arcs) is rolling war between the major Batman villains and the heroes (plus Harley Quinn and Catwoman), which shifts into a Joker and Joker adjacent vs. all as the Joker double crosses everyone then manages to steal Bruce Wayne’s fortune.  We meet 3 new baddies – Underbroker, whose schtick is putting ill-gotten gains beyond the reach of the legal system (with an explicit line to rich globalists drawn), the Designer, who back in the day offered the four A list Batman villains plans to achieve what they most wanted, and Punchline, who is your toxic ex’s new millennial GF who really has it in for you (there is also a new good guy Clownhunter, which is a whole different thing, and a new costumed detective that predates Batman).  This doesn’t convey the chaotic nature of what is happening issue to issue, but there’s more than one Batman hallucinogenic spirit quest, dead characters ostensibly walking around, a plan revolving around the Bat’s origin story that tells some version of it several times, and a no-nonsense declaration that the Joker, as the Devil of the Batman spiritual system, cannot die.   The whole thing has the effect of convincing you there is no definitive sequence of events, only versions.

Alan Moore’s Killing Joke is not a favorite of mine, for a number of reasons.  But the ending holds up.  The Joker has done terrible things there is no antecedent for, and Batman wonders aloud if this never-ending dance they do ends in anything but both of their deaths; can they uncouple from the unhealthy duality the cycle of which simply repeats.  The Joker responds, well, with a joke about two lunatics trying to escape an asylum.  One jumps the roof to the next building, while the other is too scared to try.  The escapee offers to hold a light while the other crosses on a beam but he says no, no you’ll just cut the light while I’m half way across.  This not very funny joke nonetheless has a bunch of resonances – BM and Joker as conspiring co inmates, BM wanting to break out, a commentary about their natures (almost a reversal of the frog and scorpion story where the scorpion won’t go because he knows how this ends), but mostly it implicates BM as the one who is enabling the cycle, the reason why it won’t end.  They both laugh uproariously, and the ambiguous final panels can be read as the fundamental realization of his complicity causing BM to kill J.  A lethal joke indeed… except, next month, we see the both of them again.  In broader context, the ceaseless cycle of the diad is reaffirmed.  This has been hellaciously sticky as an idea in the Batmen universe.

My realization of what DC has been doing is pretty banal in its pieces. Marvel has “ground level” heroes while DC has a mythos, a pantheon.  Their archetypal makeup is strong, the seven JLA members lining up with the pantheon of Greek gods and the Chakras weirdly closely.  DC has big characters that are somewhat flat which they can use tell big bold individual stories that are cool the way legends and fables are cool. But these stories require bold strokes that a bit incompatible with each other. People get attached to these iterations. Meanwhile, Marvel trucks in soap operas where the characters give you an empathetic stand in and are narratively flexible. Marvel events are usually about the writer vs. the company, asking you to sympathize or deconstruct the creative impulse amid efforts to impose control or order.  DC’s events are about editorial vs. the audience, the shapers vs. the forces of the world.  It may seem obvious, given this description, that DC’s focus is on an archetypal tableau though it may be less obvious that this tableau is under extreme pressure from expectations when trying to tell ongoing tales month in, month out (or semi-monthly in some cases). The stories are constantly compared against the big stories that have gone before, and the audience’s ideas of the characters exert pressure to push them in directions that capture “the” version they believe in.  This circle is not possible to square.

DC and Marvel both have a multiverse of sorts.  DC used to tell “Elseworlds” stories which were later tucked into pocket universes.  DC invented crossing over between “realities.”  DC’s continuity is heavy baggage and they began to have “Crises” to resolve the narrative incompatibilities.  These only made things worse as you can’t get rid of the past people have a relationship with – it will come back.  Now you have to explain that away too.  Marvel just lets it lay – forget about the iffy stories, they count, sure, just no one is ever going to talk about them unless they have an angle.  Marvel continuity is all angles and amnesia. This is just easier to do with dating and rent and your ancient aunt’s medical bills than with Gods. Marvel’s multiverse is about sandboxes that you can always dump into the mainframe if they work (and never really mention the sandbox again).

There is a shift that occurred in the industry in the 2004 to 2005 era that is less remarked upon than many upheavals in comic’s history. Marvel had gone through a period of incredible new idea generation in the early 2000s after a late 90s creative cratering but had just fired the pro wrestling inflected soul of that moment (Bill Jemas).  DC was coming off of a period of trying to do moderately updated versions of what they basically been doing all along. The attitude was “yeah we’re under stress from the combined history of these characters, but we got to keep telling the stories.” Geoff Johns was one voice of DC over the 99-04 period that showed potential - he seemed to get how to find the core of characters and push them into a new in sync directions if they over the years have lost a clear identity.  But mostly he had internalized a basic schism between something mean that the audience wanted, and something good and wholesome about the characters themselves, and figured out how to mess around with this in a equilibrating fashion.

Interestingly, the ignition point of the main forces that were going to blow DC over the next decade and a half was a comic that had virtually nothing to do with any of those main forces. Brad Meltzer, a novelist, was hired to do a comic called Infinity Crisis, which sold extremely well and was, justifiably or not, recognized as an event.  At the same time, everyone also kind of hated it because the dark desires of some DC fans were pushed forward just a bit too much for comfort and for a comic with Crisis in the name it didn’t do a whole lot other than “darken” things.  Nonetheless, this lit an “event” fire at both companies.  Marvel chose a shake up the status quo for a year, then do it again, pattern and was off to the races (I have written about this, and more, here) while continuing its Randian framing of beleaguered do-gooders opposed by rule making freedom haters.

As this was playing out, Dan Didio quietly took power in DC Editorial.  His outlook was more Bloomian – he seemed to spark off of writers who exhibited anxiety of influence. He recognized Johns was the one person they had could be promoted into something of a universe architect, starting work on two key projects from which the rest would evolve. The first, was bringing back Hal Jordan as Green Lantern and diffracting the GL universe into its own symbolic system, with parts frisson-ing other parts, and almost a Magic the Gathering color scheme of ideas. The other was to build up to Infinite Crisis, which would become the model for most of their universe changing events until the present day.

The basic frame is this: DC heroes want to be good (in a sense of their inherent nature) but forces outside form a context that makes them fall.  It’s a very gnostic universe, DC.  They  examine reflections of the concepts, invent scapegoats for certain tendencies (see Superboy Prime as entitled fanboy, Dr. Manhattan as editors that try and fail to mend things, etc), make characters violate principles, rehabilitate them, then show that the world if anything is more broken than before.  This is kind of Johns’ thing and it fits Didio’s narrative as historicval tension fetish.  But then came Scott Snyder (not to be confused with Zack) who began to work on Batman in 2011.  Since then, as much as Justice League is pushed as the central title and Lex Luthor has been pimped, Batman has been the core of the universe and the Joker the core villain.

Snyder had the same continuity conflict wavelength but was significantly more meta and able to contain multitudes than Johns.  He was the first to make an explicit mystery of how there could be several Jokers around at one time (who are the same but not, he posited 3 – man, Christians!) that seems prescient given the near future coexistence of filmic Jokers that are not able to be resolved.  I believe he was the first to begin to tease out an idea – that different versions of things in comics are not a diffraction or filter effect, a using the set of things that work best for that story and leaving the rest, but are a matter of the archetypal system of the audience coming apart. From an in story perspective what appears to happen is that multiple versions of incompatible things exist in the collective unconscious of the continuing narrative, and this is something that the characters may become conscious of.  

The run I just read is written by James Tynion IV building on the above trends.  The trick seems to be going all in on the Jungian aspect (at Jung’s most religiously epiphanic).  The Designer was a progenitor and adversary to Batman’s predecessor and his intellectual approach eventually defeated the detective… broke him.  At some point in early Batman history, the Designer brought the top four Bat-baddies together and offered each, in turn, a plan to achieve what they most desired: the Riddler, a way to achieve an empire of the mind; the Penguin, power; and Catwoman, money.  They are all elated as they await the Joker to come out.  The Joker emerges with a furious Designer on his heals and promptly shoots him dead.  He explains that he didn’t like his joke in the form of a fable – the devil offered four people the path to their greatest desire: the three chose earthly things, but the Joker’s wish was to be him, to become the devil.  The story proceeds to suggest that the Joker just exists, he is present as a necessary component in the system.   You can kill him, yet he is alive.

DC has been using physics metaphors for the nature of their reality since Flash of Two Worlds in 1963.  The multiverse as a continuity concept was their idea and the holographic universe of the hypertime was a thing.  It seems like since Dan Didio took over, they’ve been heading towards a concept of broad superimposition, of measurement effect being weak, of the universe being like a quantum computer with all possibilities coexisting and the story instantiating not one reality but a path through all the possible ones.  By making Batman trip balls through quite a few issues and relive his origin from different angles, the story is one of its own instability and the heroic task that confronts our hero is attempting to actualize the world.  The Joker is the Devil in the sense of lack of fixed meaning, of relativistic chaos, of the world not making sense because it’s unmoored nature with ultimately no knowability.  Batman, in this story, functions as a postmodern knight crusading against the impossibility of epistemological grounding.

There’s more going on, sure.  One plot is, literally, defund Batman.  There is rioting, people brainwashed by being exposed to toxic ether, people paid to go to theaters even though they will die as a result, and questions about neoliberalism similar to that one Joker movie. Punchline has no personality yet (Tynion’s not the best at that) but she serves well as a generational foil for Harley – a rudderless ideological vacuum susceptible to Joker-as-idea-virus rather than an unfulfilled MD who felt alienated due to the structures of her life and was seeking escape into structureless possibility.  The Designer stuff is both continuity play (See why they changed from goofy villains to more “realistic” ones! Look how pulp heroes informed superheroes!), a comment on the nature of a longstanding narrative (strong intentions die out as Brownian motion overwhelms momentum), and a lawful evil/chaotic evil setup of the dualism of apocalypses (overdetermined authoritarian vs. center does not hold barbarism).  But the thing that ties this to the past decade and a half of DC is the sense that the reality is fluid and susceptible to change or outright s’cool incompatibility.

This is different than other flavors of meta in superhero comics.  Grant Morrison believes the archetypes are stronger than the forces that seek to bend them.  Alan Moore wants you to deconstruct your sacred cows and probably hates you personally.  Marvel might play with self-awareness, but effortlessly resolves inconsistencies after it’s finished playing.  DC, at this point, allows you to watch the waves solidfy into symbols and dissolve, and the constant confusion and lack of grounding is more of a choice then I thought this time yesterday.  The conflict theory of DC reality has been in full swing but this looks to be turning towards a kind of Zen historicism, holding contradictory things in your mind at once. Warren Ellis’ JLA/Authority book is the nearest comparable text I can think of. I need to call this, but I didn’t even talk about Death Metal, DC character multiplicity as meta-psychosis event extraordinaire.  Comics just keep getting weirder.

[batsforbadones]

I highkey wanna hear more about why you think Herbert is a necrophiliac

Tumblr didn’t give me the notification for this, but I’m SO glad you asked. Buckle up for this one we’re about to be in for a RIDE.

Here’s why I, personally, think one Doctor Herbert West, is a Necrophile. ( With pictures )

- Some Preface... - This is entirely speculation based on context clues and our lack of knowledge about Herbert’s day to day life within the film’s universe. It is embedded deep into my bones to over analyze things like this. However, I do believe a key part to Herbert’s character is the mystery he holds around him. He’s meant to be creepy in this surface level way for a reason. Necrophilia would expand upon that in an unnecessary way. - That being said- - The first movie stands with no solid evidence of Herbert being prone to necrophilia, nor do I believe he is actively participating in acts of necrophilia during the course of the movies. I stress the word actively. - I think it is important to know that I did not have this headcanon before watching Bride of Re-animator.  - However, Bride of Re-animator, had me slipping for a HOT minute. - We’re going to cover a couple of things here. I’m going to do my best to do it chronologically. It has been a moment sense I watched the second movie, so my information may be skewed, but my main point still stands because of a specific moment I remember vividly. - We will start with the scene right when Herbert is about to reveal the Bride’s finished body to Dan.

- He goes through and individually describes each of the parts he used to make up the Bride. We are going to focus on his description in this scene because this was a prelude to what would later be the piece of resistance in this fucked up gallery we’re making. - He talks about a couple of different parts he hand picked, mind you. He went out of his way to get these parts, assumingly for the reasons he explains to Dan. - This scene can also be explained as Herbert just trying to appeal to Dan’s more ‘manly‘ side, but I doubt it given how into it West gets here. - He picks the following things : - The feet of a ballet dancer. - The legs of a hooker. With this he adds ‘ Think of all the bodies these legs have wrapped around ‘ - THE WOMB OF A VIRGIN. -... - Arms of a waitress. - A lawyer’s hand. - And then the other hand, he has no idea who it belonged to, but he cycles through the options of a sculptor, a harpist, or a murderer. - He bases this last little hypothesis on how well the Bride can grip, by the way :) - He also has Gloria’s head but his final ‘ She is beautiful ‘ while describing Gloria’s face is more of a way for Herbert to appeal to Dan’s love for Gloria/Meg by making her seem ‘above’ the other body parts, or make her seem like the exact thing they’d be bringing back rather than just a bundle of limbs with her head.  - I will also mention here that Herbert is very aware of Dan’s motivations. Had he started off his whole spiel with ‘ Meg’s heart is in there ‘ Dan would’ve been convinced right off the bat. He didn’t have to go through the rest of the body- Dan is kind of numb at the beginning of Herbert explaining his choices (He only agrees once Herbert brings up Meg’s heart and Gloria’s head) - And I’d assume, because of this, Herbert didn’t go into making The Bride with the ideology of ‘ What would Dan find hot? ‘ He likely went into it with ‘ What do I find hot ? ‘ - Next scene. - This is how Herbert looks the first time he sees the Bride properly standing and moving.

- He grabs her face...

- Goes to touch lower and...

- Girl isn’t having it. - She rejects him. As hard as she possibly can.  - Because her heart is Meg’s, and Meg died loving Dan, she immediately clings back onto Dan when Herbert tries to run his hands down her body. And how does Herbert react?

- He gets hurt. Hurt Hurt. - Now. This very well could be just Herbert believing he made this woman, and he now has a sense of entitlement over his creation. He made her, therefore, she should respect him enough not to flinch away when he goes in like that. Still pretty fucked up considering she’s shown sentience, but okay. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. - Except we’re not going to because he’s literally mad she likes Dan more than him.  - He has a sense of entitlement over her not only because he created her, but I’m very willing to bet he has a sense of entitlement because he created her, and, in Herbert’s mind, he should be allowed to touch and grab the thing he loves all he pleases. - Still could be a thing about having created her. Very valid autopsy of this, but let’s go a different direction for the sake of this. - The Bride is the only woman we see Herbert extend any sort of admiration ( albeit in a fucked up way ) toward. She is the only one we see him stare at with anything other than his weird contempt. - In fact, she’s the only other person we see him do this too at all. Of course Herbert is proud of his other creations- But he’s extra proud of this one. This one isn’t immediately violent. It’s standing and it’s not being a ruckus. Not yet.  - In Herbert’s eyes- He did it. This is the closest thing he’s made to another human. Very valid reason for being so - how he is. - But let’s compare it to Dan and wrap this up. - Dan is in love with the bride. In love I say loosely because Dan is fried during the climax of this movie. He is so emotionally numb and gone he’s practically a shell when he’s talking about his love for the Bride. He genuinely thinks it’s Meg. - Compare this to Herbert who looks at the Bride with arguably more love in his eyes. - Dan is seeing Meg. - Herbert is seeing a bunch of dead body parts he found hot. - In conclusion. I think Herbert West is a bit of a necrophile, but I don’t think he’s aware of it. More like a buried conscious ordeal. I don’t think he meant to create the bride in the form of his perfect fleshlight, but he definitely began looking at her that way. - Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

[not-a-christmas-tree]

i just watched the dallas theatre company les mis here are my observations

IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THIS PRODUCTION I SUGGEST YOU DO! DON’T READ THIS IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILERS THOUGH!

so, in case you didn’t know: in 2014, Dallas Theatre Company did a modern interpretation of les mis. i just watched it on youtube (i will link it later, i promise) and took SO MANY GODDAMN NOTES so here they are!

ACT ONE 

(Look Down-WHID)

starting out strong! we got some HARSH TRUTHS ABOUT THE JAIL SYSTEM!! blatant police brutality happening BASICALLY the entire first part of the song. it hurts me. 

note on the cops costumes: they legitimately terrify me and they are dressed in like. full riot gear.

okay so,,,valjean wraps the rope from his bag around his neck at the end of WHID. this is interesting bc, a) he’s trying to find a solution as to what he should do after the Bishop and that’s a direction I’ve surprisingly seen no one take, but b) this part has the same melody as javert’s suicide, when javert is ALSO trying to figure out what he should do after his perception on life is altered. for a moment there, they both are on the same page, the page being suicide. however, only one of them takes that choice.

the above makes the lines (in both songs) “i’ll escape now from that world / from the world of valjean” ESPECIALLY interesting because. in two different ways, they did escape, but they ALMOST had the same conclusion for a brief second.

(At The End Of The Day)

in ATEOTD fantine ends up being the last one working, causing everyone to look at her with varying degrees of annoyance or frustration. She do be hardworking doe

OH SHIT KIDS IN THE FACTORY!! three little kids run up to the foreman when he’s giving daily stipends to the ladies!! (they’re also the last to be paid, giving significant sass to foreman who also sasses back)

Girl #5 mockingly calling fantine “innocent sister” when 5 is white and fantine is a WOC...that’s kind of interesting given that that can be read as SERIOUS racial profiling on 5’s part

foreman looks like bob’s boss in the incredibles but like. tall lmao

(I Dreamed A Dream)

her look of like,,shock-but-not when everyone from the factory exits and she takes off her bandana,,,that. that is good acting

her transitions from chest to head voice are so good

i’m kinda sad she isn’t younger?? or just. doesn’t look super young bc fantine is supposed to be like. early twenties. she’s not 45 and had a decently long life before she died, no, she’s young. she was taken advantage of. that’s the whole point. but that’s sUPER little like this lady is way too good

she has the perfect mix of sadness and regret plus anger and shameless hope. like. kudos to you allison blackwell you’re a dope fantine 

the cry on “killed the dream i dreamed” brb sobbing

(The Dock Scenes)

MALE PROSTITUTES I REPEAT!! MALE PROSTITUTES!! (no idea what wig he’s wearing tho. he was done dirty in the wig department) 

oh male prostitute is prostitute #1! 

oh damn there is. lady def on some bad drugs with her kid passing behind fantine on the bench. ouch.

hoo okay they did n o t censor lovely ladies!! (mini note: camera person has the camera down an AWFUL LOT on these docks scenes lmao)

there are cops on the docks. gross.

(Who Am I-Confrontation)

OH SHIT THEY HAVE A FALSE JVJ IN THE BACKGROUND OF WHO AM I 

jvj comforts not-jvj for a second!! (money note was FANTASTIC btw)

fantine being WOC and DYING in a modern hospital also is,,yeesh because. you know. racist doctors. 

jvj cries after fantine dies JUST STAB ME NOW OKAY—

confrontation is really funny when u see that javert has a GUN and jvj has A CHAIR

JVJ DID THE LIL RUN ON “live within my care” YAAAAY

(COAC-Master Of The House)

oh boy baby cosette,,so small,,so pure plus classic baby head shake when she sings I STAN

MADAME T LOOKS—OH GOOD GOD

DID SHE SPIT ON MY BABY--

cosette: “please do not send me out alone—“ madame t: “oooooh my gOOOOOD” omg 

what the fuck is thenardiers hair i—

WHAT THE FUCK IS THENARDIER IN G E N E R A L

random idea regarding thenardier’s prison tattoo: he has the same number on his chest that jvj has. Meaning he was in jail too. so why isn’t he as messed up as jvj? i wanna say maybe he was in for less time, but like. I doubt it. However, he has a whole ass gang. did the thenardier gang break their boss out of jail? please say yes 

him listing things for baby éponine to charge i love it

OH MY GOD THENARDIER FLAUNTS HIS NUMBER WHILE JVJ DOESNT!! jvj hides his past because he believes it will get him into better places (it does, he becomes mayor for god’s sake) while thenardier shows off his past with stubborn pride. while thenardier cheats his way to success, jvj lives an almost honest life where he ultimately suffers due to the stress all the hiding he does gives him

i love that éponine looks like neither of her parents,,,madame t got around huh? 

(The Bargain)

I JUST REALIZED THE STAGE HAS A CATWALK DOWN THE CENTER INTO THE AUDIENCE THAT IS THE COOLEST OMG

Instead of madame correcting thenardier on cosette’s name he asks cosette herself which prompts the CUTEST ANGRY YELL OF “it’s cosette!” I HAVE EVER SEEN

also thenardier fuckin MANHANDLING cosette i’m DYING

JVJ LOVES HER SM I AM SOFTTT

(The Beggars)

omg marius is so ADORABLE i love him

gavroche is a style icon

kid holding sign saying “my mom got laid off” POOR BB

i love éponine

that’s it that’s the note

wait a sec was that montparnasse with the prostitute earlier in beggars??

ALSO I SEE AZELMA AND OTHER THENARDIER KIDS PRESENT FOR “turn on the tears!!” THANK YOU FOR UTILIZING THAT LINE PROPERLY

why does enj have a bat?? If it;s not a bat then,,,what is it? someone please help me

marius saves cosette from bad guy gang!! 🥰🥰

bruh javert misses jvj running by like,,,MAYBE two seconds that is hilarious 

jav looks so done when thenardier is trying to get out of this lmao i love it

javert looks so cop-like it scares me

(Stars)

the line “safe behind bars” in stars kind of kills me here because as the audience you SEE the cruelty that the convicts face. you see the guy on the ground getting beaten you SEE the chains around their throats and yet. yet javert still somehow thinks that putting jvj in jail is safe? i think the thing to focus on here is not whether it’s safe, because it obviously isn’t. the focus is who it’s safer for, jean valjean or javert?

has it always been “your father” rather than “her father” when marius asks éponine to find where cosette lives?? if they changed it that is SMART because yk. jvj would be ALARMED if he found out he’d been found by éponine but he wouldn’t hurt her. he’s not the guy she has to worry about, it’s her own father. thenardier gave her a job and she’s straying from it, he’s what would endanger her.

THE PLAYFUL BOOP AND SHOVE FROM MARIUS 🥺🥺🥺

(The ABC Café)

“note-ruh daym”

hee hee pretty enjolras

pretty enjolras in skinny jeans even better

OOH we have,,,angry enjolras in this version o k a y

grantaire raises his hand before agog/aghast part omg

“i’ve never heard him ooOOOOh and aAAAAh *excited squeal*

“dan joo-wan” i love texas

bossuet spotted :)

longing gay looks NOT spotted :(

i love enjolras okay but this one is just,,,a little too aggressive. enjolras isn’t just angry all the time, he’s not that one dimensional. of course, there is more of the show to see and i hope he changes a little bit, but so far red and black isn’t doing much for me. enjolras is hopeful, not just angry.

A CAPELLA SECTION IN RED AND BLACK?? I think YES

the amis finding out lamarque is dead has “fuck trump just won the election” energy

okay i was hoping that enj would change his aggression thing when they find out lamarque is dead (bc that’s when most enjolrai figure out what may happen and kinda sober up yk) but. it doesn’t look like he did. there is hope for barricade scenes

OMG LIL NOTE ON COMBEFERRE GIVING OUT FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS: that is fucking pERFECT and yk why?? because it’s a call to action!! it’s less obvious in DYHTPS because they’re mostly singing to each other but later in epilogue when the words and melody is repeated, it’s meant as a call to action! “will you join in our crusade, who will be strong and stand with me?” is a cALL TO ACTION AND THEY ARE HANDING FLYERS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS—that’s officially the only way to break the fourth wall THANK YOU 

hey fantine doubles as a student i think!!

HARMONIES ARE C L E A N OOOOH

(In My Life-Heart Full Of Love)

okay yes i already love cosette because she plays awkward-teen-in-love-for-the-first-time PERFECTLY. 

book-ish cosette hell yes a cutie

father-daughter forehead kisses 🥺

awkward mARIUS TIMEEEEE

placing marius, éponine, and cosette in a triangle is a MARVELOUS decision thank u for that symbolism

marius checking if he looks good and ép giving him a thumbs up omg

*aggressively tries to sit normally* same cosette

*awkward curtsy* also same cosette 

(Attack On Rue Plumet)

robbery time let’s see how they do this

ooh marius and cosette run off but i can’t tell if they notice gang before running

thenardier fuckin SLICES éponine after her scream

NOOOO HER LIL WHIMPER AFTER BEING THREATENED AGAIN

(One Day More)

this lil part between robbery and one day more is interesting bc i legit have NO idea what jvj is thinking here. he keeps looking between his watch (i think it’s a watch idk) and cosette after she runs off to pack so like. what. is he doing here bc he looks like he’s choosing between two things but i don’t,,know,,what things

red berets on the amis are dope btw

i think marius is discussing what to do with éponine here, which is FUN because we all know why she goes to the barricade in the brick :’) éponine might be convincing marius to go to the barricade knowing this is her chance to die with him like in the book

omg

OMG

OMG

that stomp bit with the students was the coolest fucking thing i’ve ever seen

END OF ACT ONE

act two will be posted shortly :D

[think-blot]

Something Sweet (Lucifer Morningstar x Reader)

Requested: Reader and Lucifer are in a relationship and he loves her but nobody knows because Lucifer is Lucifer and you’re part of the police.

Summary: Everyone knows that Lucifer can be flirtatious so no one thinks twice about his comments towards you because, well, it’s just Lucifer being Lucifer. But, when a case takes all your attention away from him, people start to question why he’s so desperate to get it back. 

Word Count: 2887

---

   "Well, aren't you a lovely little surprise this morning." A smile broke out on Lucifer's face the moment he saw you and he was quick to forget whatever Chloe was telling him in favor of walking towards you. It had only been a day since you last saw the man, his arms wrapped around you as he tried to convince you that the serial killer would turn himself in, but still, he acted like it had been ages. When you had finally escaped from his tight grip, you had pouted and told him you wouldn't be able to sleep over for a while; your current case the only thing keeping you up in the coming nights. Needless to say, it was a happy surprise that he got to see you at the station. "I believe there's a filing room with our name on it. If you'd hurry along that way." He gestured like he was directing traffic and you couldn't help but laugh despite the heat in your cheeks from the public display. He never was one to whisper and, if he did, then it was only for something deliciously sinful.

   "Lucifer, leave them alone." Chloe sighed, slapping his shoulder as she joined your little bubble. "I'm sorry, Y/N, I'll try to keep a tighter leash on him." You held in the temptation to laugh even more when she interrupted, Lucifer's face beyond offended. You weren't sure why but no one at the precinct seemed to believe that the two of you were an item. Sure, you weren't the biggest fan of public displays of affection but that didn't mean Lucifer wasn't. Whether it be flirting with you from across the room or tugging you into his side whenever he was close, he always made sure you knew you were his. There was even that one incident where he slapped your ass while he walked by and, while it wasn't unwelcomed, it was a little too much for the environment. Yet, with all of that in your coworkers' faces, they wrapped it up to Lucifer being Lucifer. In Chloe and Dan's case, they did everything in their power to try and stop Lucifer which was what you always found hilarious.

   Lucifer lifted a finger, ready to gesture to you and say something far from appropriate for the workplace. You jumped in before he could, your cheeks not able to get any hotter at this point, "No need, Chloe. He's no harm." His gaze shifted to you, his eyebrow raised in a silent promise of what harm he could be. You held in a sigh, wishing you could take him up on that filing room offer.

   "How's the case going?" Lucifer rolled his eyes and started pacing behind the two of you as you talked shop. You smiled softly at his childish antics. You knew that it just came from a place of wanting to keep you to himself but, unfortunately, the world wasn't so kind to let that happen.

   "It's a tough nut to crack but I got a new lead. I'm hopeful."

   "Yes, well, with a partner like Detective Douche, you'll need all the hope you can get." You and the detective turned together, giving Lucifer the same look of exasperation. "What did I say?" He asked, far too innocently for it to be genuine. The day you got partnered with Dan was, according to Lucifer, the worst day of his life. Despite the dramatics, he did tend to get jealous whenever you spent too much time with the other man. Not because he didn't trust you but just because he didn't like to share.

   Chloe sighed and turned back to you, "If you need any help, let me know okay?"

   You nodded, a smile on your face as you did. You and Chloe had always been close, though it might shock people. The chemistry between her and Lucifer was enough to make any one night stand doubt themselves but to be in a relationship with the man was a whole other obstacle. Admittedly, in the beginning, you were a bit hesitant because of her but Lucifer had let you known his true feelings and that they were only for you. It was hard to doubt much after that. Chloe was first in both of your lives; in yours as a best friend and in his as a partner. It only seemed fair that as a couple you would share her. "I will. You do the same." She smiled and walked away, heading towards Ella and expecting Lucifer to be right behind her. Instead, he was in front of you, looking like an abandoned puppy.

   "What's that face for?" You said, quietly. It wasn't often that he showed when he was upset, often opting for the silent but deadly approach to his feelings, but this was something softer. Something you only ever saw when he just wakes up and wraps his arms around you.

   "There's no face." He muttered, offended that you even suggested such a thing even though there most definitely was a face. "I just didn't expect you to be one so obsessed with their work."

   Dating Lucifer meant a lot of things but, the most important thing was that you had to learn how to read between the lines. You looked around, making sure no one was looking, and when the coast was clear you stood a little taller and kissed him sweetly. "I'll miss you too, Luci."

   He deflated from his puffed up state, smiling down at you with lovesick eyes and you couldn't believe that you got to see this side of him. "See you soon?"

   "Of course." With a final peck, you headed to question a witness, hoping that the case could catch a break and you'd find yourself back in Lucifer's arms in no time. He watched the door shut behind you, an idea on how he could make that happen starting in his head.

----

   When you walked onto the crime scene, the first thing you were expecting to see was the same MO from the past three; bullet to the head, limbs cut off post mortem, scary clean area. What you weren't expecting was Lucifer sitting at a piano playing your favorite song. "Lovely, you're finally here!" He picked up the pace to his song and you were quick to get to him and put a stop to it.

   "What are you doing here?" You whispered, somewhat harshly. You were always a perfectionist and your boyfriend messing with evidence to serenade you was really messing that up.

   "Lucifer thought it would be a good idea if we helped out." Chloe batted at Lucifer's hands, forcing him to stop playing, and all you could do was stare at him. You understood what he was doing, of course, you did, but it still made your blood slightly boil. This wasn't your first case, hell, this wasn't even your first serial killer, you didn't need any help besides your partner's.

   He stared up at you, beyond excited at the thought of working together, and you felt yourself calm down almost instantly. Because, yes, while it was slightly annoying, it came from a good place. That was how most things went with Lucifer when he wanted things done, anyway. "No need for long hours when you have four extra hands to help." He stood up from the piano bench and slithered behind you, his large hands grabbing onto your shoulders in an attempt to give you a massage. "Besides, you're far too stressed. How are you supposed to catch a killer with your back all in knots?" He said it almost frantically, his thumbs becoming aggressive as he worked at one of your 'knots'. And, while you appreciated it after a long day of work, you weren't too happy about it in the middle of a murder scene. Neither was Chloe from how she was glaring bullets at Lucifer.

   "Lucifer." She hissed, looking at him as if he had two heads. His hands stopped and you didn't even have to see his face to know he was looking back at her, annoyed that she had interrupted him. She rubbed her temple, "Y/N, I'm so sorry for all this but I do think we can help."

   "Yeah, okay, I'll catch you guys up." You walked out of Lucifer's grasp, no doubt making him pout, and walked over towards Ella. "Anything different?"

   "'Fraid not, homie. We'll keep looking but this place looks just as spotless as the others." You sighed, nodding as you looked at the poor girl on the floor.

   "Three bodies, so far, all found in this same position." You started, ignoring Lucifer's "Well, that's no fun.". For once, you were happy to have Chloe as a barrier between the two of you. "The body is cut up and the area is always cleaned as if they're going to clean up after themselves and never get around to finishing the job.” You glared at Lucifer before he could say something about always finishing and, just as expected, he stopped in his tracks. You really knew him too well.

   "It's almost like he's taunting us." Chloe thought out loud. You had worked with her when you first became a detective, it's how the two of you became so close, and if it weren't for Lucifer being so distracting you'd be beyond grateful that she was here to help. "'I could hide if I want to but why would I?'"

   You sighed, running your hand down your face as you did. "Exactly." It wasn't often you let cases get to you but you had been on this one for weeks and, still, you had nothing. Nothing but more dead bodies and you couldn't help but feel guilty.

   "Hey." You opened your eyes to see Lucifer crouching in front of you, something soft in his eyes as he traced the side of your face. "We're gonna catch this, vermin. You have my word." Just like that, you felt a small bit of the weight you carried be lifted off your shoulders. Lucifer kept his word, no matter the promise, and that was more relaxing than any massage. When you had first met Lucifer, it felt like a bubble had surrounded the two of you and no one else existed. As time went on and feelings were shared, you thought that feeling would disappear after a while. But, as he stood in front of you, promising to do something he had no interest in just because he knew it would make you feel better; you were stuck in that bubble again. So stuck that you didn't see the silent conversation Ella and Chloe were having right next to you as they watched the interaction take place.

----

   You had a suspect. A real -most likely the killer- suspect after weeks and it was all thanks to Lucifer. He had pulled way too many strings and you didn't even want to ask if any of them were illegal because the guy was right there and all you had to do was get a confession. You walked into the room, placing your file down on the table, and prepared yourself for a long night of questioning. But, before you could even sit down, the suspect sputtered out, "I-I did it. I killed those girls." His eyes absolutely frantic as he did.

   You stood there, more than shocked at the immediate confession. You turned to look at the two-way mirror, where Chloe and Lucifer were, a confused look on your face. Without you knowing, Lucifer gave you a thumbs up, a proud look on his face as if you had pried the truth out of the man's mouth. You turned back to the man, doubt suddenly clouding your mind that he was the right guy. "And what exactly did you do?" You wouldn't put it past Lucifer to tell someone to confess just so you could close the case faster. But, to your surprise, the man started listing off details that had never gone further than you and Ella. Things you had forgotten to tell Lucifer and Chloe in your haste to catch the guy before he could kill again. Somehow, Lucifer was one step ahead of you.

   You walked out of the interrogation room, confused but happy that it was over. You didn't have a chance to collect your bearings before arms were encircling you and your face was smashed against a suited chest. "Well done, love. Another criminal behind bars all thanks to you."

   You tried to move away but all his grasp would allow is for you to turn around so he was behind you and you could see the detective. "Is this usually how it goes?" You asked, hoping her answer was yes so something could make sense because no matter how much Lucifer loved flirting; this amount of affection was never shown in public.

   Chloe covered her mouth, trying to wipe away as a smile as she watched Lucifer hug you from behind like it was nothing. "I mean, if there's something in it for him then, yeah, my suspects start talking a lot faster." She pointed towards the scene in front of her, not sure exactly what it was she was seeing, to begin with. "But, all of this. That hasn't ever been a part of it."

   "So, what exactly are you getting out of this Lucifer? And, please, don't say what I know you want to." People were starting to notice that, not only, was Lucifer hugging someone but he was daring anyone to question him while he did. In the right circumstance, it would be adorable.

   "I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about." He stopped hugging you, sensing the start of you being annoyed, but still kept an arm around you. "The satisfaction of a job well done is enough for me."

   "I thought you didn't lie?" You looked up at him, feeling yourself forget where you were as you stared into his eyes.

   "Now, I didn't say the satisfaction had to be mine." He caressed your cheek with the back of his hand, holding your face after so you had no choice but to keep looking at him. "I'm nothing if not a selfless lover."

   You giggled, actually giggled, and Chloe felt she had to step in. She knew where this led, she'd seen it too many times, and she didn't want you to get sucked into the tornado that was Lucifer Morningstar. "Okay, this seems a bit excessive, Lucifer. Even for you."

   Lucifer exhaled in a way that spelled nothing but trouble. "I mean, honestly, how dull must you all be?" You placed your hand on his chest, holding him back but also reminding him that there was no need to be hostile. "The truth is detective,  I can be as excessive as I please when it comes to my relationships. Thank you, kindly." Though, you were sure he was aiming for threatening; he sounded like a petulant child and you couldn't help but laugh. It only made it worse when you turned to Chloe and saw her shocked face.

   She turned to you, waiting for your denial but it wouldn't come. "We've been together for a while now, Chlo."

   "So, this whole time I thought he was harassing you. You two were dating?"

    "Yes. Quite annoying by the way." You hit his chest and, because he loved to humor you, he pretended it actually hurt.

   "I thought you guys would catch on at some point. It's not like he's great at hiding it." You said, finally managing to separate yourself from Lucifer.

   "It's Lucifer, Y/N. I just thought he was going the extra mile with you cause you were playing hard to get."

   "Quite the opposite actually." You turned and glared at him, the comment far from necessary. Chloe shook her head but smiled at you nevertheless. She wished you luck and went to her desk, having paperwork of her own to do before the day ended. You turned to Lucifer, an eyebrow raised and arms crossed. "What did I do now?" He sighed, childishly.

   "Did you do all of this-" You pointed towards the interrogation room, "just so you had an excuse to let everyone know we're together?"

   "No." You placed your hands on your hips, waiting for the truth to inevitably come out. "Well, not at first."

   You laughed, adoration no doubt in your eyes as you looked at the man. "What am I going to do with you, Morningstar?"

   He pulled you close, his hands replacing yours on your hips and his forehead pressed against yours. If you didn't have an audience before, then you definitely had one now, but you didn't care. It was the end of the workday, you had just caught a killer, and you deserved a little love. "I can think of a couple of things." He whispered, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips.

   "I love you." You mouthed the words, wanting them just for the two of you and not the entire precinct.

   The mischief faded as he rubbed your noses together, something small and sweet that was only ever there for you. "I love you too."

********

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed. Let me know what you thought! Requests are open and if you really like what I do then I’d appreciate if you bought me a coffee (in bio) Sorry for any mistakes :)

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Post #1

Le 21 septembre 2020, seule dans mon studio, ennuyée au plus au point, je décide d’ouvrir Tinder. Les profils défilent, le temps aussi. Et là, je tombe sur ton profil. Mon coeur bat, je ne sais pas quoi faire. Je regarde tes photos, tu es encore plus belle que dans mes souvenirs, toi ma meilleure amie du lycée.

___________

Ce soir-là, j’ai décidé glisser ton profil vers la droite. Ce soir-là, je ne me rendais pas compte de ce que j’avais déclenché.

___________

La nuit passa tranquillement. Au réveil, je fus surprise de voir qu’elle avait pris la même décision. A présent, je pouvais lui envoyer un message. Mais que devrais-je lui dire ? Comment reprendre contact après plus de quatre années de silence. Qu’était-elle devenue ? Pourquoi avait-elle accepté de vouloir reprendre contact avec moi?

Prenant mon courage à deux mains, j’engageais la conversation. A ma grande surprise, elle me répondait très rapidement. Après avoir pris des nouvelles, nous convenâmes rapidement d’un rendez-vous dans un bar.

La pression montait d’un cran. Comment m’habiller? Comment me maquiller? Qu’est ce que j’allais lui raconter ? Tout ce stress, alors que je ne voulais que te voir pour prendre des nouvelles. Du moins c’est ce que je pensais au début. Dans ma tête, tous les scénarios défilaient, du pire au meilleur. Ce qui me tracassait le plus c’était ma sexualité.

Elle avait réussi à m’ouvrir les yeux sur mon attirance envers les femmes. Le plus important c’est qu’elle m’avait fait comprendre que je ne devais pas avoir peur de ce que je ressentais. Je m’étais décidé à le dire à mes parents et ce fut la décente aux enfers. Ma mère pleurait et mon père m’avait assuré que ce n’était qu’une phase. Dans la foulée, nous nous étions disputées. Du haut de mes 17 ans, j’avais rejoint l’avis de mes parents : ma bisexualité n’était qu’un passage de ma vie. Je décidais de tout refouler et de vivre une vie sans conflit avec mes parents. Mes relations avec les hommes s’enchaînaient. Mon dégoût pour le sexe opposé s’accentuât l’année de mes 20 ans, lorsque j’ai vaguement entretenu une relation avec une amie proche. Toutes mes questions me sautèrent en plein visage mais j’essayais de faire abstraction. Je me suis forcée à entretenir des relations avec des hommes. Juste avant nos retrouvailles, j’avais admis une évidence : j’aimais les femmes.

La suite dans le post #2

[es-mentiras]

I Can't Stop Watching Contagion | Folding Ideas

Coping with crisis in the real world by confronting it in fiction

[O]ne purpose of fiction is that it allows us a space to practice intense emotions and states without exposing us to the complexities or harms of those states in reality. ... Watching a disaster film in a disaster, particularly one as sociologically driven as Contagion, is an extension of this. Rather than practicing intense emotional states before they happen, this instinct of exposing ourselves to what we’re already experiencing, amplifying existing emotional states, it works as a form of emotional inoculation. I am scared and anxious and uncertain, and so I will make myself more scared and more anxious and more uncertain, because it’s still fiction, it’s still safe, it still has an end. It is bounded. Things will get bad, things will then get worse, people will die. The world is unfair, it is unbalanced, it is unjust, and catastrophe will bring out both the best and worst of all of us. And then it will end.

...

There is an escapism to a story about horrible things, because that story is complete. It is bounded. It provides a framework to horror that doesn’t exist in the real present. Our future is uncertain, beset on all sides by devils, and we can come out better or we can come out worse or we can die and none of us knows which it will be and we’re all screaming at those in power to make the moral choice, to choose better.

...

On one hand I am deeply privileged to be in a position where I am and can remain isolated. On the other hand I can’t even think about the other hand.

Disease does not have a narrative meaning, it does not have an eye for poetry or twists or closure. The only meaning is in how we respond. So I watch Contagion over and over and over again. Because I need to practice emotions, and I need to live in a bounded world, and I need to believe we can choose better.

full video transcript under the cut:

[video is Dan Olson of Folding ideas lying on his couch, staring unmoving into the camera. scenes from Contagion are projected over him.]

VOICEOVER: This video is not an essay, it is a raw nerve.

Contagion is a 2011 film directed by Steven Soderbergh, starring an ensemble cast including Marion Cotillard, Matt Damon, Laurence Fishburne, Jude Law, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Kate Winslet. The film revolves around the origin, contraction, spread, and cure of the fictional MEV-1 virus, a highly contagious, aggressive, and fatal strain of hybrid bat and pig flu.

The initial patient, Beth Emhoff, played by Gwyneth Paltrow, contracts the virus in Macau after shaking hands with a casino chef who has recently handled an infected pig. She spreads the virus to several other people in the casino after they handle objects that she’s touched, such as gambling chips, a martini glass, and her cell phone. An important aspect of the film is that the fictional virus is highly transmissible via fomites, which are objects that an infected person has touched after touching their mouth or nose, coughing or sneezing on the object, or otherwise leaving infectious residue on an otherwise inert, non-biological object. A local waiter who handled her glass returns home, infecting members of his family before wandering into traffic in a fever-induced delirium where he is struck by a vehicle and killed. A Japanese businessman who shared chips with her returns to Tokyo where he falls ill rapidly, dying suddenly of a seizure on a crowded bus, infecting several bystanders who touch him or handrails that he touched. A Ukranian model who handled Beth’s phone flies to London where her symptoms also escalate rapidly while she transmits the disease to others via handling portfolios and riding in a cab.

Beth returns to America where she infects several people in Chicago, first her ex lover Jon who contracts it when they have sex while she is on layover, and a bartender at the airport who handles her credit card, before flying to Minneapolis where she infects the coworker who drives her home from the airport and her son Clark. A day or two later Beth’s husband, Mitch, played by Matt Damon, picks up Clark from school after Clark begins to exhibit a fever. While Beth and Mitch are talking in the kitchen Beth suddenly has a seizure. Mitch rushes her to the hospital, leaving Clark with a babysitter, but Beth’s condition continues to worsen, she fails to respond to treatment, and she dies. As a stunned Mitch is driving home he gets a call from the babysitter that Clark has possibly had a seizure and might not be breathing. Mitch tells her to call 911 immediately, but before anyone can get there Clark is already dead.

From there the story expands to encompass the doctors, politicians, reporters, hucksters, and ordinary people who are swept up in an all-encompassing pandemic that threatens to kill a quarter of the global population. The movie is an incredibly tense hundred minutes of society pushed to its breaking points, not as a fantastical disintegration into wastelands of leather-clad murder gangs or a zombie apocalypse, but one rooted in the historical reality of epidemics.

And I can’t stop watching it.

I have watched Contagion over fifteen times in the last two weeks. Several days I’ve just watched it on repeat two or three times. And I'm not alone. According to Netflix it is, at the time of writing, the second most watched thing in Canada. For weeks it has sat in the top ten.

Unlike many similar films, such as the 1995 film Outbreak starring Dustin Hoffman, the film is not about any one person, and there is no singular twist of victory. Rather it is an example of sociological storytelling. It’s about the systems and networks that these characters exist within, and how they both influence and are influenced by those systems, and what happens when those systems are placed under tremendous strain. Kate Winslet plays Dr. Erin Mears, a front line worker for the CDC who is sent to Wisconsin to track the transmission of the virus and contain its spread. Half way through the film she catches the virus herself, and then her condition worsens, and then she dies. It is unceremonious. It is not foreshadowed  or paid off because it is not poetic, because pandemics are not poetic and don’t have a tight arc or an eye for narrative fulfillment. It doesn’t have meaning, the only meaning is in how we choose to respond.

Because this is sociological the movie doesn’t end when doctor Ally Hextall develops a vaccine. What would be the singular victory moment in most films is instead the beginning of a slow, painful march back to stability as first the vaccine needs to be mass produced, and then distributed to billions of people worldwide. It is a dangerous task that needs to be tightly controlled as it requires access to the isolated virus and thus is very slow to ramp up. The film trudges through the immense societal tension that is created when there is a cure, but it will take over a year to make and distribute enough for everyone, a situation that lays bare every societal privilege. Dr. Orantes, played by Marion Cotillard, is kidnapped and held ransom for the vaccine by Chinese villagers who are keenly aware that in the priority of global politics the poor, the rural, and the non-white are at the very back of the line. They are terrorists, but they’re not wrong, just desperate. They are at the back of the line, and the government throws them under the bus anyway. Despite the existence of a vaccine Mitch continues to keep his teenage daughter, Jory, under aggressive quarantine out of legitimate fear of the disease that has been amplified to paranoia by the trauma of losing Beth and Clark, the survivor’s guilt of being naturally immune, and the uncertainty of whether his daughter would share that immunity or not.

In December 2019 the coronavirus COVID-19 was identified by doctors in the city of Wuhan. Over the course of January and February the spread of the virus began to be identified in South Korea, Japan, and Italy and, gradually, most of the rest of the world. The disease itself is not exceptionally lethal when compared to epidemics such as the Black Death in the mid 14th century or the spread of Smallpox through indigenous populations following contact with Europeans in the 16th and 17th centuries, but, first of all, “better than the black death” is a pretty bad standard, and second on a global scale a mortality rate of 1-2 percent in an unchecked pandemic still means, in absolute terms, millions and millions of preventable deaths. This is compounded by the strain that mass illness, even one that is not terribly lethal, inherently places on an already strained society: crowding healthcare systems, disrupting infrastructure, and forcing people to choose between working while ill, and thus infecting others, or losing their jobs. A low mortality rate is often the result of adequate care, but the quality of care goes down as the number of severely ill goes up, as the number of infected healthcare workers reduces the number of people qualified and capable of administering that care. This, in turn, has a knock on effect where unrelated illnesses and injuries become more dangerous. A heart attack or broken leg that would be easily managed under normal circumstances becomes that much worse when there aren’t enough people to help, aren’t enough beds to go around. The more people who are exposed, the more need to roll the dice against that one to two percent, and the more are going to lose.

As of March 2020 most of the United States and Canada have entered a period of uncertain quarantining. Non-essential businesses are closed, events are canceled, workers are being sent home or laid off, borders are being shut down,and the economy is in freefall. Every existing societal problem, from income inequality to housing inequality to healthcare, is being stressed and amplified by not only the virus but the complicity of our governments. News comes out hourly about warnings the people in charge received months ago, and the ways in which they were either ignored or exploited for personal gain. Several American politicians were briefed on the security risks of COVID 19 in late January, and then took to Twitter to decry public fear as a partisan hoax while they dumped their stocks in preparation for a crash that they knew was coming. People in government, their corporate donors, and their pundit allies are getting anxious, debating breaking quarantine and telling everyone to go back to work and roll the dice on whether or not they’re going to die for the economy. We are standing on the precipice of a very uncertain future, and we don’t know if that future is days, weeks, months, or years away. This could be the new normal for a very long time.

So why do I keep watching Contagion?

A dimension of narrative that I like to bring up pretty regularly is the idea that one purpose of fiction is that it allows us a space to practice intense emotions and states without exposing us to the complexities or harms of those states in reality. This is typically in the context of the fanciful: reckless stunts, wild sex, gun fights, or general risky behaviour. We talked about this with Fifty Shades and the idea of non-consent as a fantasy subject.

Watching a disaster film in a disaster, particularly one as sociologically driven as Contagion, is an extension of this. Rather than practicing intense emotional states before they happen, this instinct of exposing ourselves to what we’re already experiencing, amplifying existing emotional states, it works as a form of emotional inoculation. I am scared and anxious and uncertain, and so I will make  myself more scared and more anxious and more uncertain, because it’s still fiction, it’s still safe, it still has an end. It is bounded. Things will get bad, things will then get worse, people will die. The world is unfair, it is unbalanced, it is unjust, and catastrophe will bring out both the best and worst of all of us. And then it will end.

Is there looting, and arson, and murder? Yeah. But it is, ultimately, out of the ordinary. People get paranoid, people get desperate, they riot under stress, but even when food supply lines break down, the world isn’t summarily turned over to those with the bullets and the willingness to use them. There is no Mad Max dystopia, no Fallout post-apocalypse, because at the end of the day humans are pro-social. The cooperative survive.

In 1349, in the midst of the black death, it must have looked like the end of the world. Entire households, entire villages, dying a gross, horrifying, pain ful death, month after month after month. Then for generations, every year wondering if this was the year the plague returned. Was this the year there would be no one left to bury the dead. But people survived. The working class, who bore the brunt of the disease and saw the bodies of their families, clans, and communities piled like cord wood, fought back against the aristocrats who isolated themselves in their towers and remote estates. It was messy, and bloody, and it took decades, but in the end serfdom was abolished. Europe lost upwards of sixty percent of its population over the course of five years, but it wasn’t Armageddon. Things kept going, people kept going, and Europe would go on to be absolute bastards to the rest of the world.

The disease in Contagion is not unrealistic, real diseases have been as deadly, or worse, but it is dramatic. It moves very, very quickly, is highly contagious, and kills a huge number of those who are infected. In reality this aggressiveness would kinda work against the disease, and, morbidly, would help responders limit the spread. It moves so fast and kills so quickly that there’s little question of who has it, and within a couple days everyone who has it is either recovered or dead. This was the aspect of the SARS epidemic that allowed response teams to effectively quarantine the virus where it burnt itself out. That said it’s not impossible that something could spread so aggressively, be so incredibly contagious, that it could spread like wildfire and become almost impossible to contain before anyone even knows what’s going on. But it’s undeniably dramatic and emotionally effective.

48 hours. We can contain two days in our head. A situation where things will get materially worse literally tomorrow or the day after if nothing is done right this second, that’s a comprehensible timeline. Forty eight hours is short enough that in a catastrophe, driven by adrenaline and stress and necessity, you can stay awake that long without even realizing it. COVID’s life cycle is closer to a month. By the time you get sick you’ve already been sick for two weeks, and now you’re in for hell for another two to four weeks. It’s just past the range where it really feels real. Two weeks isn’t long, but it’s still over the line into the indeterminate “future”.

This problem extends in both directions. There’ s only so much space in the mind for time. As the news ramps up, as things get worse, the present crowds out history. The distance between the irrelevant past and the now contracts. ’Days ago’ becomes distant. ‘Months ago’ is irrelevant. Years ago is ancient. By evening even earlier the same day is suspect in its relevance to the Now. We remember January but it has as much presence in the mind as childhood. Our lives become superliminal, displaced from time, as we wrestle with our own minds and how they try to process the chronology of our own existence. By Sunday, Friday no longer feels real, and yet every day’s news is the consequence of decisions made fourteen, twenty one, twenty eight days ago. Today’s responses won’t yield results until well into next month. This flaw in our meat is a gap into which charlatans, hucksters, and conmen can drive a wedge and pry us open, and pry they will try.

When I first saw Contagion in 2012 I thought the weakest element was what I considered at the time to be the demonization of online media. Jude Law’s character plays an online pundit and conspiracy theorist who preaches to an audience of millions about an herbal tincture of forsythia that he claims is the cure, a cure he just-so-happens to be selling. It is, in 2020, the realest element of the film. Herbal cures, hydrogen water, steam treatment, teas, magnets, suspensions of silver, tinctures, and tonics. We’ve got pastors standing at the pulpit telling their congregation it's all a hoax, that there’s no reason to suspend services, that their nebulous enemies are just trying to shut them down. We now live in a world where the US president told people based on a rumour that chloroquine, a drug used for treating malaria and lupus, was the cure, so a man in Arizona ate a packet of fish tank cleaner containing the chemical. He’s dead now. And that is, again, all part of it.

There is an escapism to a story about horrible things, because that story is complete. It is bounded. It provides a framework to horror that doesn’t exist in the real present. Our future is uncertain, beset on all sides by devils, and we can come out better or we can come out worse or we can die and none of us knows which it will be and we’re all screaming at those in power to make the moral choice, to choose better.

And I am in an absolute haze. My daily life has not much been impacted, overtly. I’m already an agoraphobic shut-in wh o worksonline and has a bad sleep schedule. But it’s too much. I’m tired all the time. I can’t pay attention to the news and  Ican’t not pay attention to the news. Working is difficult.  I have a long history of respiratory illness. I am at risk.

On one hand I am deeply privileged to be in a position where I am and can remain isolated. On the other hand I can’t even think about the other hand.

Disease does not have a narrative meaning, it does not have an eye for poetry or twists or closure. The only meaning is in how we respond. So I watch Contagion over and over and over again. Because I need to practice emotions, and I need to live in a bounded world, and I need to believe we can choose better.

[end transcript]