#The Justice League knows nothing

[darkmodepls]

All the spectral interference is wreaking havoc on the Bats' tracking abilities.

Who knows how long it will take them to figure out the issue, let alone fix it.

Good thing Danny has already clocked Damian as someone to keep an eye on.

Damian Wayne is lost.

An impressive achievement, considering Mother and Grandfather had ensured his thorough education in geography, amongst other subjects.

He’d memorized the cities of Grandfather’s earlier days. He’d even memorized every random small town in Ohio. Damian knew that he had memorized every town in Minnesota just in case he was abandoned there for some reason (a fear that Dick Grayson had long put to rest).

Damian Wayne had never heard of an Amity Park.

“Tt.” He clicked his tongue, quietly glad he was clad in his vigilante armor instead of the banal uniforms of the civilian school he attended. Damian Wayne- Robin- sighed and tossed a line up, zipping to the roof of the building no time.

He tried his communicator.

“Da- bzzzt-! Get you- bzzzt!- wait! Don���t- bzzzzzzzt!- might be long s-bzzzzzzzzzt-!”

Damian tapped at his communicator. “Understood,” he grumbled, with no small sigh of relief. The communicators he used were directly connected to Father’s Watchtower- pardon, the Justice League’s Watchtower… that Father paid for- and reached all around the world.

With a few exceptions that Damian immediately ruled out, it meant that he was in a different dimension. The Robin grumbled, and pulled out a card his Mother had gifted to him. Inter-dimensional displacement was accounted for by his Mother, the daughter of a near immortal evil magician, and the card that could steal local money from anything hackable was the result.

“I might as well enjoy the vacation.”

Damian zipped down, ignoring the strange looks he got from the locals. He walked around to find a vegan place and found one, standing behind a goth girl who was teasing a bespectacled teen.

When he got to the counter, Damian swiped the card after having placed his order. He wasn’t, however, prepared to be accosted a glowing green- irritatingly, traumatizingly close to Lazarus waters- being that looked like a mad scientist.

“TRYING TO HACK-“

A white glove clad fist slammed into the being’s face.

“Oh my god, leave the kid alone, Technus!”

Damian pivoted, sword drawn.

A… floating green being that looked like a teenager grinned at him before opening a thermos.

“Soup time!”

Damian clicked his tongue as the “Technus” was sucked into the thermos. This cape reminded him of John.

“Irritating,” he muttered.

“Hey, kid! Are you okay? What's your name?"

“Robin.” Damian replied begrudgingly. Dick had impressed on him the importance of replying politely and Damian applied the concept in this situation.

“I’m Phantom!”

Ugh, even the grin was annoying. It reminded him of John.

“Apt.”

"You're a mean little kid aren't you?" Phantom grinned. "What's up with the sword?"

"Quiet, plebian. I am ordering my food." Damian turned and completed the transaction.

[nelkcats]

Dead Language Expert

Danny never thought that he could "major" in languages, and get a job as a translator. But apparently knowing all the dead languages ​​by default and being able to time travel with the help of your ghost tutor was pretty useful outside of Amity.

It happened purely by chance, he was walking through a museum and started laughing because of a mistake in one of the sentences that completely changed the meaning of the text. The museum manager, of course, did not believe him, since many people had said that the piece was "impossible to translate". But he study it anyway.

Days later they were looking for him to translate all the things from that time. And he just carried on with it, in many more civilizations. In some cases he even asked for a few trips to the past to Clockwork to verify.

It got to a point where the wizards, heroes and villains over the world knew him as "the translator of dead languages" and some of them even tried to kidnap him to perform a summoning ritual. Danny rolled his eyes and easily freed himself, but the League assigned him an "escort" anyway.

Exasperated, the halfa escaped from his escorts and continued his work as normal. Superman almost fell out of his chair at the Watchtower meeting when he was informed that the boy had translated the language of Krypton and other missing planets. Besides having managed to lose both the Flash and Green Latern, what the fuck?

[justwannabecat]

Danny knew that he couldn’t let himself lose control.

Ever since Vlad had gone too far, and he had lost his family, he had to remind himself that things were going to be better, to have some hope for the future.

It didn’t seem to matter when he was filled with such all-consuming rage though.

Still, he found a couple of magic rings. He hates wearing them, they hurt so much, but he needs the power boost they give him.

He will not fail again.

(Or; Danny is both so angry, yet has such hope for his future that both a Red and a Blue Lantern Ring choose him at the same time.)

[im-totally-not-an-alien-2]

Phantom starts haunting/ following around Ghost Maker because of some major slight against him and now the Justice League is convinced he murdered a kid despite him adamantly saying he didn't.

Phantom clarifies nothing and basks in his suffering

[bruciemilf]

There's something deeply touching about Jason knowing he'll never be the kid Bruce saved again, but still maintaining some quirks, mannerisms, habits, pieces of young Jason Todd. They're small but cut deep.

Jason, when he allows himself to stay at the manor as a tiny indulgence, still acts like there's a barrier of lasers protecting Alfred's cookie jar, just so he and Dick would have an excuse to compare leaps.

He's still waiting for the lights to fall asleep so he could visit the library and get angry at Tim, or Bruce, or both, twins in audacity, for dig earing the pages they knew he'd read.

Of course Bruce finds him because he always looks for him, ridiculously fluffy pink robe that Selina bought him sagging on him.

He ignores the ball of sadness exploding in his stomach as he realizes Bruce is the one looking up at him now. It feels like a robbery, premeditated and calculated, " Jaylad, you have to nap."

" Bruce, I am a grown ass man, you cannot fucking tell me to NAP--"

There's an unspoken type of authority that surrounds gentle parents. Is Bruce a gentle parent? Well. He doesn’t need to hit Jason to get what he wants, that's for sure, " Excuse me?"

"...Just one more page?"

Bruce is also very weak for them, thought. "..Fine. don't tell Alfred."

When Dick proudly shows off his patrol record for the week, all preppy and shiny besides Bruce at the kitchen table, Jason hears it all the way from the couch.

Damian is a very sore loser when it comes to Mario Kart, he learned, " Todd! TODD! Come back here and taste DEFEAT! FIGHT ME LIKE A WOMAN, COWARD!"

" So yeah, 40 arrests are pretty good, I'd say,--"

" 40? That's adorable, I got 70. On a broken leg."

Bruce, suddenly spooked, turns to him, " You had your leg broken on patrol?!"

" A broken leg? Awwww. Killer Crock almost bit my face off, but hey. Nice of you to try."

"Waylon bit you?!"

" At least I'm not a COP!"

" YOU'RE STILL A COP?!"

" I'm working on it, okay?!"

But the biggest thing? Jason's so unflinchingly clingy on Bruce; When they first meet this 'Justice League' Batman joined, Jason requested to be there. A robin caricature, but he doesn't trust any of them.

Aside from Diana. Diana's always the exceptions.

" This is Superman, " Bruce may think that little blush goes unnoticed, but it certainly doesn't. " And this is my ba-- This is Red Hood. I trust him with my life."

Don't cry don't cry don't cry Jason chants in his head.

Superman extends his hand and a honey sunshine smile, " Red Hood?! Oh, I've heard so much about you. We have to work together sometime. Share stories about this one here."

He heard about the guy's X Ray vision. He hopes that if he does take a peek, he sees the sinister pull of grin on his lips, all teeth and no niceness, " I'm more of a hugger."

" Oh. Uh... Sure. I love hugs."

Jason makes sure to whisper, " He doesn't kill but I do," before pulling away. Then he turns to Bruce, going from standing at his full height to relaxing a little bit,

" I want bat burgers on the way."

Bruce hums and signals for him to lean down to get his head petted. Jason does. Even if he's embarassed.

[spacedace]

Girl scout cookie season has to be fucking hell in Gotham

Like, okay so I don't actually know anything about girl scouts, but it has to be intense right? Every girl scout in the city has to know that Bruce Wayne is a soft touch and will buy out your entire stock if you just look at him with even a hint of a sad frown. Which means outside of Wayne Enterprises and Wayne Manor is prime real estate, the kind of hot spots that scouts and their parents are willing to go to war for. Like, full on street brawls breaking out between these little girls and their rival troops over common Bruce Wayne locations.

And it's *Gotham* so you know there are like, Gotham Specific badges for things like "Improvised Weaponry" and "Urban War Tactics" I bet there are badges for helping people during Rogue attacks, with like a badge for each specific Rogue and a badge you get if you've earned all the others.

Just. Gotham Girl Scouts have to be scarier than any Marine, and are probably on so many watch lists, both ad potential heroes and villains.

[puppetmaster13u]

Thinkin’ of This Au where Jason ends up collecting all of the de-aged liminal class which causes his plans to spiral. And am also thinking if he found them even earlier, before he made his big debut with 6 heads in a duffle bag, back when he was a mere whisper. Y’know, something minor the bats seemingly didn’t have to worry about. 

Like he still has his goons, even if less than he would because he is still taking over the underbelly, it’s just far slower because suddenly he has like, twelve small children to keep safe along with defending the alley from these government goons. 

Like I want the GIW to full on build files on this (to-them) half rabid ghost prowling crime alley whenever one survives to retreat and lick their wounds. Not a lot, mind you, but enough to notice a pattern. Enough to figure out when their lost specimens are not with the very dangerous ghost. 

Enough to catch the babysitting goon off guard, to overwhelm them with numbers. 

Enough to take his children. 

And Jason has seen those labs, he’s torn apart several, but they aren’t in Gotham anymore, they’re goneGoneGone and he needs to get them back. They’re just babies, they’re his babies, and he’s not going to let them be cut into again. 

And there is no warning on the Watchtower when the Zeta activates. There is no alarm when a hulking figure enters during their weekly nearly full-team meeting. A figure that could pass as both human or not, with sparks trailing behind barely restrained movements as they get ready to fight this masked intruder. 

“Diana Prince, Wally West, Clark Kent, John Jones, Arthur Curry.” There’s this deadly calm as he speaks, because otherwise he would only be feeling rage. “I know each and every one of your identities, and if you don’t help me everyone is going to know them.” 

[phoenixcatch7]

Like I know it's self indulgence but it'd be so funny to see a full kardashian style Brucie Wayne, spoilt playboy prince of Gotham, local sunshine idiot on the front page every other week for darwinian levels of idiocy or billionaire levels of donations.

But he gets kidnapped or something and there's illusions or mind magics that make him think he's in the bat suit and then he gets dumped in the middle of a live world broadcast arena to fight some goons.

Like he doesn't think anything of it, batman's been kidnapped and forced into gladitorial arenas for sport many times before, maybe he always carries concealed weapons so he's still got like grapples and batarangs and stuff, but he's just going full doomslayer on these guys. No cowl. No suit. Just an open silk shirt and a pair of slacks. In full view of the world.

Tell you what, what about the whole justice league. Just a group of the motleyest people you've ever met. There's about as many famous people as there are absolute nobodies.

Several billionaires defer to the guy who writes articles on outdated lead in buildings and socio economic corruption. There's a renowned museum curator flying and uppercutting aliens so hard they get tossed across the room. There's a guy who spoke in science conferences about meta containment procedures running up the wall and delivering a roundhouse kick to three enemies at once. Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen. Of all people. Two world famous idiot ceo celebrities. And they're back to back whaling on armoured alien henchmen like a well oiled team. A ten year old podcaster shooting lightning from his fingers and no one in the group bats an eye.

Just.... Insanity.

[chittychittyyangyang]

[aight-griffin]

My queen, my goddess, I love you so much, but what the fuck are you wearing?

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

There are only so many fanfics that use the entirety of DC as cardboard cutouts to prop up bat family characters that I can read before I go berserk.

I swear to god. Every character that has ever been shipped with a bat or coexists on the same team as a bat is owed an apology.

How many Young Justice fanfics that solely revolve around Tim must exist? How many Titans fanfics centered only on Dick? Why is it a herculean task to find a Justice League fanfic without Bruce as the main character?

And then even when you do find a fic that seems like it's balanced, everything still revolves around the bat. Like Kon, Cassie and Bart have nothing else going on in their lives except Tim and Tim's issues or thinking about Tim. Like Donna and Wally and Roy just cannot function if they aren't spending every waking moment thinking about Dick.

I'm... Guys. I'm at my limit. I swear to god. We need to make a Batman tag and surgically remove all these fics and quarantine them there. We'll keep the actual DC fics and they can do whatever the fuck they want in their own tag. It's getting ridiculous how hard it is to find fanfic that's actually DC related and isn't just 'The BatFam Show'.

[nelkcats]

The Banshee, a JL mystery

A foreign case was being discussed by the Justice League, in general it was not bad, just rare.

It began a couple of months ago, a tourist had come to Star City, but he did not visit the city, he did not even register, he just pop out of nowhere, went to the cemetery, and apparently the cameras recorded him placing flowers in all the tombs and talking with the air or with some of the people engraved in the stones, they were not sure of it.

The strange thing was that the cameras around him were always corrupted, they needed the JLD to even stabilize the image, and ¿was that not worrying? They assumed that something supernatural was following him, the boy looked strictly human, but even the trackers that they tried to put were damaged around him.

Unfortunate for the entire league, although they had the guy features, the image was not clear enough for facial recognition.

The corrupted sound of the camaras sounded like a wail, or a cry, Constantine commented it remembered him to a banshee, so they started to call him "The Banshee" even if Zatanna told them Banshee were strictly women, it stayed.

The wave of visits continued, the boy went through Central City, Metropolis, Washington, Gotham, but it was later where something relevant happened again.

Jason was visiting his own grave when he noticed the boy, he tells, he cared because the young man seemed disconsolate looking at the graves, even yearning if that had some sense.

"Did you know him?" It may be the case of B, but it still had him intrigued. Also, the guy was looking at his grave, he felt like he have the right to ask.

"No, but you could say I already did" the boy sighed, stroking the stone of the tomb "I would also like it-..." Danny stopped, he should not be telling his problems to the owner of the tomb "Ah, no matter, it's good to know he was loved"

Jelousy, the reason why Danny visited the cemeteries was to calm himself, surrounded by what he wants but can not occur, to cry as no one cried for him, Clockwork always said that a part of him died at the moment nobody pay attention to his death, and ¿wasn't that funny?

"¿How do you know?" If someone asked Jason, he would affirm that it was uncomfortable to talk about himself as if he was still dead, but he couldn't do anything about it now.

"Well, he's buried and has a proper resting place, they keep bringing him flowers even though the inside of his grave is empty, you can see the recently removed earth; Many of the dead don't have that luxury, their bodies left somewhere, the missing people were never given a proper burial, I don't know man, ghosts can't build their own graves ¿you know?" He was probably ranting and he knew it, but Danny was tired, he wanted that too, and it was such a stupid rule not to be able to give himself his own resting place, but he wasn't going to burden Jazz, Sam, or Tucker with giving him a funeral.

It was the reason he did this, why he visited cemeteries, laid flowers and talked to the resident ghosts, he wanted to know the feeling, wanted to know what he had lost, wanted to be mourned too.

"Anyway, nice to meet you Nosaj Ddot, be a little grateful for what you have, ¿okay? I know some who would kill for it" he smiled ruefully, starting to pick up his basket of flowers, he had already made his rounds anyway. It was probably time to go back to Amity Park.

"¿Nosaj? What are you talking about-" but the boy was already gone, disappeared into thin air, his communications re-established at the same moment that he noticed his damaged tracker right next to the grave, a short circuit.

"The banshee ¿uh?, he sure is an interesting guy, maybe the League is really onto something this time."

[duskyashe]

CAMP NANO DAY 14

[AO3]

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Bruce was going to regret coming to the watchtower today, he could tell. He could already feel the headache coming on.

"Okay, okay, next round! Fuck, marry, kill, billionaires who aren't total assholes! Michael Holt, Simon Stagg, and Bruce Wayne, I'll go first!"

Today's meeting was listed as team bonding. Playing preteen girl games was not what he'd had in mind.

"Oh you know I have to go with fuck Bruce Wayne, I mean, have you seen that man? He makes himbo look hot—"

Dick's not-so-silent laughter from his spot next to Bruce was not helping things in the least. If he didn't love his son as much as he did, and if he wasn't 100% sure Cass and Damian would murder him in his sleep if he did, he would have silenced his oldest one way or another after the third time he nearly fell out of his chair from laughing so hard.

"I'd have to say fuck Holt, marry Wayne, and kill Stagg, Lois would kill me if I said otherwise," Clark answered thoughtfully, though the smirk he was failing to hide bellied his amusement at the entire situation.

I should have kept the lead lining in the cowl, Bruce thought darkly as he fought not to glare at the Man of Steel while Dick finally succeeded in falling off his chair. The rest of the League, sadly, were already used to Nightwing's eccentricities and gamely continued on as they were.

"—marry Bruce Wayne so I can seduce his fortune from him—"

The Dark Knight had to exercise his iron self control to keep himself from groaning out loud at that comment. Please, for the love of Alfred, will someone pick to kill me?

"I honestly can't decide if I'd want to fuck Brucie or marry him more, they both have their advantages—"

Finally, it was his son's turn, and Bruce's dread grew by leaps and bounds. He knew that grin. He knew Dick was a full grown adult, but the urge to ground him had never been so strong and the younger man hadn't even opened his mouth yet.

"For reasons I will not be disclosing at this time but might possibly include the nickname potentials, I would fuck Mike, marry Brucie, and kill Simon. Thank you for coming to my TED talk!"

And then it was his turn. Bruce shot his son a Look, before turning to the rest of the League. Pretty much everyone else had gone already, and the urge to decline participating in this round was strong, very strong, but then Hal Jordan opened his mouth and issued a challenge. And if there was one thing raising so many kids had instilled in him, it was the inability to back down from a challenge.

"So, tall, dark, and scary, what'll it be? Are you going to marry Bruce Wayne so he can fund all of your sick gadgets, seduce his money from him like Plastic Man? Maybe you'll be a gentle lover to him like Aquaman here. Or maybe Brucie is the one person in the world you break your code for. Come on, what d'ya got for us?"

And Bruce—Bruce thinks about it. It's been years since he first joined the League, he's gone on countless missions with these men and women, trusted them to watch his son's back when he couldn't, and he finds his decision already made for him. Plus, there's another thing raising so many kids had given him—comedic timing. Discreetly checking to see if Dick was still recording, even after his mishap with the physics of sitting on a chair properly, Bruce turned to stare the Lantern down.

"Jordan, I have no desire to fuck, marry, or kill Bruce Wayne, either literally or figuratively."

Bruce could see the protests forming at the tip of the pilot's tongue. Clark diligently tried to suppress his own laughter while Dick was staring at Bruce in amazed glee. Before Hal could properly express his protests, Bruce reached up and removed his cowl, working his hand through his sweaty hair in annoyance before turning a deadpan look on the man, one eyebrow raised in a pale imitation of Alfred's Look.

"I trust you can understand why?"

As the collective members of the Justice League burst into shocked screeches of denial and protest, with Clark's warm chuckles and Dick's own roaring laughter acting as counterpoints to the background noise, Bruce couldn't help but smirk. He still felt a headache coming on, now from the noise rather than from the meeting itself, but overall, he can't say he regretted how it had turned out.

========={·§·}=========

So this one came from a pin I saw on Pinterest, which I sadly have not been able to find the original Tumblr thread for, about the League playing fuck, marry, kill with pre-identity-reveal!Bruce lol I read it out loud to my boyfriend, who ended up laughing as hard as I was, and he told me I should write it, so I did! ^⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠^ If anyone wants to send me a link to the original thread so I can link it here, that'd be amazing, cuz I want to properly credit the people who inspired me to write this in the first place (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

Also, I feel like I've been saying this a lot recently, but I apologize for not posting yesterday, I had a really long and fun day out with my boyfriend and ended up having neither the time nor the desire to write anything by the time we got back home ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⁠ʖ⁠⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ before he flew out here, I hadn't seen him in a month, and before that, it had been almost a year, so I'm making the most of the time I have with him (⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^⁠）I don't think that's too much to ask for, but I also feel horrible about not writing and posting as much as I initially wanted to this month. I figure, by explaining myself to y'all, it might make it easier to convince myself it's truly okay to take time for myself and my boyfriend, y'know? 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠ര⁠ ⁠ʖ̯⁠ ⁠ര⁠ ⁠.⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ that's the hope, anyway lol

Have a good morning/day/night, everyone!

[megamindsupremacy]

Just had the realization that a time traveling Batkid could meet pre-Robin Batman, figure out Bruce’s age, and, in surprise, blurt out “he hasn’t even gotten Dick yet!”

[realbeefman]

ok i have finished the sandman comics (the ones which go over show canon) and my conclusion is that they’re definitely. like. Good. but there’s absolutely no coherence it really is a superhero universe where the superman (dream) goes around and does stuff. and i am not against superhero stuff i just find superhero comics frustrating because they seem to fall into the weirdly characterized and strange episode of the week error much more often than say. superhero movies or serialized manga.

like idk. i am certain i would have loved this if it was the 90s or whenever it was released. it’s visually stunning with good concepts but they all just kind of fizzle out and don’t connect well. why am i being introduced to 17 new characters EVERY single chapter. why does it feel like every narrative arc comes up like an accidental toe stub like Oh huh i guess that we have to make this Mean something.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 143

You know what I think would be hilarious. The batfamily (or even all of Gotham but it’s dismissed as just another Gotham tale by Outsiders) being able to turn into cats. Not big cats either but like, housecats. And none of their teams know. 

They think that the cats must be their local bat’s, because the collars have their symbols on them. And honestly how else would this giant fluffball get onto the Watchtower? Now of course they would have told the teams all eventually, but well, it’s become a competition now. How long can they keep this under wraps, and which of them will win in keeping it hidden.