darkmodepls

[darkmodepls]

https://www.tumblr.com/yayasvalveplay/788262156304105472/crack-idea-starscream-gets-kicked-out-of-the?source=share

Maybe, just like it is for organic species, too much inbreeding leads to low fertility that can be somewhat fixed with the introduction of fresh genetic material.

The fact that Cybertronians have such long lifespans and don't necessarily need to reproduce sexually to keep up the population means that no one did the research to figure out why lineages die out after a certain number of generations.

All anyone knows is that there is a 500 vorn age gap between Starscream and each of his 2 siblings, and that 3 is the most children a noble has had in the past 250,000 vorns.

Star's siblings are both conjuxed to mechs of suitable status, but neither has a single sparkling despite heaps of effort and the best fertility treatments shanix can pay for.

Enter SkyStar with their dozen or so bitlets, born one after the other. There is barely any age gap because they took turns carrying and immediately resparked after each bitty was born, and all of them are strong, healthy fliers when most noble offspring suffer from birth defects.

The bitlets actually out number the total number of living mechs in the royal lineage. And they're smart too!

Starscream and Skyfire are both brilliant scientists who have definitely passed on their intelligence to the bitlets.

So why not reinstate Starscream? Clearly, he's done something right in order to be so blessed by Primus.

(Starscream would like to go back to his lab, please. He thought being disowned meant he never had to talk to these afts ever again.)

I like that idea a lot

[darkmodepls]

ykno the thing about poetry is that 99% of it is bullshit and the other 1% will cut you like a material knife, and for every person that 1% is a different section of the whole. this is probably true about all art.

[darkmodepls]

[darkmodepls]

hmm i think today i will check out the fanfiction of my favorite childhood cartoon :)

WHAT THE—

[darkmodepls]

Ratchet fucking MOVE it's my turn >:(

[darkmodepls]

People have been nagging me to share “the curry story” on here for ages, so alright, I’ll do it. (If you’re Indian and reading this, I am so sorry).

I swear to god, everything I am about to say in this story is true.

When I was eleven, I moved to a small town in rural England and acquired a new best friend at school. Her at that point seemingly-very-normal-parents- nice suburban house, three kids, trampoline in the backyard- invited me over for dinner, and said they were making curry and rhubarb crumble.

“Curry and rhubarb crumble”. Never in the history of mankind have words been so untrue.

The “curry” consisted of, I swear I am not making this up, a vague mixture of * deep breath, oatmeal, tofu sausages, corn, tomato juice, chopped onions, raisins, “leftover broccoli leaves”, kale, and scrambled eggs. The only spice in it was the tiniest smidgen of turmeric. All these ingredients were vaguely stirred together, undercooked, and stuck under a broiler for ten minutes. 

They gave me a massive portion. I somehow, I still don’t know how, was polite enough to finish it.

“I’m done,” I said.

“No,” said her father. “In this house, we LICK our plates clean.”

He did. They didn’t make me hold it up and lick it like they all did, but they did make me clean the plate with a piece of bread and my fork until they were satisfied.

Desert came. The rhubarb crumble was entirely unsweetened. Not so much as a raisin. I can’t remember what the crumble part was, because my mind is still haunted by the memory of being forced to eat an entire bowl of unsweetened rhubarb. You know in old Looney Tunes when characters would be tricked into eating allum and their heads would shrink? That’s what eating it felt like. They made me clean my bowl of that too, and wouldn’t let me leave the table until I finished. 

The next time, (I was in middle school and as yet too polite to turn down my best friend’s parents) they made “spaghetti and meatballs and salad”. The spaghetti was utterly plain and so undercooked it was crunchy, the “meatballs” consisted of a single large orb of some grey material i have yet to identify, and the salad was, i shit you not, limp boiled lettuce. Crunchy spaghetti, unidentified lumpy grey stuff, and boiled lettuce.

The fascinating thing is that, while yes, these people were obviously health nuts, it was so much more than that. They were health nuts who also cooked like aliens who had never seen human food before. Or like small children making “potions”. One of the more edible things they served to me once was a dessert they made up which consisted of halved apples rolled in cornflour with some milk poured on top. One time, they were convinced to make pizza as a treat. They decided to put an onion on it. Fair and fine, you’d think. Not in that house. They just cut the onion in half once, and stuck each unchopped half facedown on one side of the pizza.

Speaking of onions, one time, my friend decided to make a banana and yoghurt smoothie. Her dad came in, said it wasn’t healthy enough, and made her add an onion to it.

They had a homemade cereal I thankfully was able to opt out of trying which 100% looked like the contents of a vacuum bag. I still have no idea what it contained.

Amazingly, it was by no means just me who experienced this. It was a small town, and every girl in it my age had a selection of horror stories about being invited to dinner at this friend’s house in the exact same ritualistic horror-film fashion. We used to sit around comparing them at sleepovers. Age did not exempt you. One time, this friend’s six year old brother had a friend over for dinner at the same time, poor soul. His mom arrived to pick him up, and wasn’t allowed to take him home until he finished whatever crime against cooking was on the menu that night. 

Every story was the same. The ritual that never varied. Every time, these people would make a huge fanfare out of inviting you over for dinner, act all hospitable and excited, set the table, and then serve you a massive helping of the worst food in the world, and make you clean your plate of it, desert included. Who the hell forces you to finish your DESERT?

It’s a mystery to me. They clearly had SOME degree of self-awareness, because after I came to my senses and started coming up with excuses to avoid eating at their house they would tease me saying things like “ohoho, you don’t like LIKE our food do you”. If they had been a bit more fun and less generally puritanical sort of people, I could totally believe this was a family trolling activity where they secretly schemed to come up with the worst possible dishes, secretly filmed themselves forcing people to eat them and watched it and laughed afterwards, I could believe it.

All I’m saying is I’m pretty sure they weren’t aliens, but the more I type this out, the more tempted I am to believe it. Fuck it, maybe they WERE aliens.

[darkmodepls]

"i wonder what my life must have been like before sub level 50!"

[darkmodepls]

As someone who just emerged from the theater:

I don’t think DC understands how much money I would pay for a fifteen-minute plotless scene of Battinson and Corensupes just shooting the breeze

[darkmodepls]

this feels incredibly fitting for me

I did it. After a lifetime of using light mode on all my devices, I switched to dark mode. My eyes just can’t take it anymore, and after a few days of using it, I decided dark mode was actually kind of cozy and nice. So it was time to update my light mode art with a new version!

[darkmodepls]

So, weird question - do you recall a story, either from yourself or a mutual, about someone's sister who is an opera singer and was conned by some local birds into chick-sitting their babies during the day?

I recently remembered that story but could not, for the life of me, find it anywhere, and now I'm wondering if I dreamt it up.

No that's my sister. She had Australian Magpies living near her balcony when she was in grad school in Newcastle, and knowing their reputation for intelligence and defending their nests very aggressively, she took steps to make sure they knew she wasn't going to be a problem. This steps were:

1. Putting a bright blue streak in her hair to make her appearance visually distinctive

2. Singing opera while she was out tending to her balcony garden so they would pay attention to what she was doing, which was

3. Not being a dick.

It worked a treat and when swooping season rolled around the Magpies got aggro with many of the people in the area, but not her, despite her balcony being directly under the nest. It worked so well that when the chicks were fledging, the parents were content to leave them on her balcony while they went hunting.

She taught them the fun bit of Der Holle Rache.

[darkmodepls]

[darkmodepls]

Reblog the writers’ fortune cookie for luck!

[darkmodepls]

i can tell i’m sleep deprived bc i just made myself cry about tutankhamun and i have, like, negative interest in the kid

[darkmodepls]

I know in IDW these two don't have a father daughter dynamic BUTTTT I really like it so

Based on Lost Light Cat Shelter by @madamadamiu

Notes/ideas under the cut!

Arcee is a kitten! A couple of months old. She doesn't get that much bigger

It's unknown if Arcee was abandoned or was born a stray. They never found a mama cat and no one ever claimed her

Got attached to Magnus IMMEDIATELY, as if she knew he was the reason she was found

She is extremely scared of thunderstorms. She will cower in place if she hears loud noises. Unluckily, the first few days at the shelter were so stormy that Rung couldn't go get kitten safe anxiety medication. She was miserable, but Magnus was there to comfort her for as long as she needed

She always uses her claws in play even as an adult who should know better. She just refuses to put them away

Because of this, she needs to get her nails trimmed far more frequently. This is a terrible process for all parties involved. The event usually includes Rung or Ravage burrito-ing her while the other cuts her nails, all the while she's yelling the whole time. Not to mention the fact she bolts under the couch the second she sees the clippers

Almost got adopted several times but she's far too attached to Magnus for them to be separated

For some reason, she doesn't clean herself as often as she should. This leads to frequent surprise baths from Magnus, she is caught off guard every time